#and I can’t stop thinking abt how bad and unwanted it made me feel

[ropebuny]

I wish I was normal and ppl liked me and I didn’t feel so lonely all thw time

[jesusology]

Haruka theory and thoughts under the read more! just me going through the MV and voicing aloud some thoughts, let me know what you guys think too! 

（*´▽｀*）also this is super long i

opening scene! the necklace is obviously important to him. also it’s very cute. nothing to say abt this in particular but i just think it’s really cute

love the background choice and how the room looks in general. gives me a big liminal space vibe. i promise i’m getting to actual theorizing in a second here just

love how the scenery from the window changes when it switches back and forth between him and his younger self (?). i’ve tried searching what the symbolism is of a red sky (if there is any) and i did see that it could mean “the end” or it could be symbolic of danger and what’s to come.

ugh i love the water thing going on. first off, i’m a huge sucker for water imagery and the like and so you KNOW i go gaga for this. it has to be because haruka feels like he’s constantly drowning, like he’s suffocating on his emotions. 

i’ve watched this MV at least fifty times and this still gets me upset. pretty obvious that what’s going on here is some form of emotional abuse as well as a co-dependence on Haruka’s part. Haruka clearly has a learning disability and it’s nothing he can control but the people in his life are blaming him for it and so he blames himself, too.

evidence of emotional abuse, being told things like how he’s pitiful or not smart, etc and of course Haruka is going to believe that hence why he’s always calling himself dumb and feeling like when he’s around others he’ll only make them sad because that’s exactly how it was for him at home. 

also like how the background is all gray and gloomy and there’s his childish scribbling of a monster (?) hovering over. could be symbolic of a threat to what’s his normal life, like it could end so suddenly

the world around Haruka is changing. his parents are changing (i’m assuming they’re divorced but i don’t think that’s ever made explicitly clear), he’s growing up, but he also feels exactly the same maturity wise. he may be increasing in age but he still is exactly the same and the change is unnerving to Haruka and it’s become noticeable to his parents that he’s not “growing up” and doing “normal” things. his learning disability is holding him back from becoming what’s so normal for society, what’s accepted in society. 

so he’s viewed as “weak”, it’s his ‘weakness’. and society eats the weak. 

i feel like Haruka’s parents (perhaps namely his mom)(or maybe it was both his mom and his dad but Haruka’s thinking more about his mom because he was closer to her) were becoming fed up with Haruka’s inability to learn what is supposed to be ~oh so natural~ and ~normal~ so they quickly began to get frustrated. also, that drawing behind Haruka appears later i think....

Haruka realizes and recognizes what’s going on and this, in turn, makes him have feelings of self-loathing. why can’t he do what anyone else can? why is everything around him so different but he’s the same? why is he getting taller, having more expectation placed upon him when it’s just too hard for him? Haruka is grappling with these thoughts constantly and it’s making him feel like he’s drowning and no one cares to pull him up out of the water.

i’m gonna be honest, i have no clue what to make of the girl with him at the fireworks but i DO know that the fireworks are really important to him because i recall him answering that it was his cherished memory and he goes on to say the most expensive thing he’s bought was cotton candy and i’ll venture to say that it was at this fireworks festival. 

i got nothing to add to this but i just love that line and it is important for you all to know this

are those yellow roses or marigolds? i’m thinking maybe they’re yellow roses which can mean either “jealousy” or “thinking of you” 

i could be going off a wrong assumption here, but hey this is all just guess-work anyway... did he accidentally push the girl? and it somehow led to her death or at the very least a severe injury? i’m willing to bet it was more of an injury than death, but even so. 

and if he DID push her, now it’s coming to light? like he did that, it was his fault (even if it was an accident, he would no doubt blame himself), and he’s a bad person who is only good for causing harm to others.

as someone who also sleeps with like five stuffed bunny animals, solidarity between me and Haruka. i want that rabbit it looks so cute

YAA there it is again! i don’t know what the heck it means but there it is!

the dog gives me pause because i’m not entirely sure what to make of it but i DO think this is where it’s important to remind people that the MV’s are based upon the prisoner’s own perception (i think. if i’m wrong, please correct me) and so we’re getting a lot of this from a biased standpoint. 

again, emotional abuse that might seem “”””Harmless””””” to others but it’s anything EXCEPT. 

did the dog run away? was he given the dog and Haruka now blames himself for letting the dog run off and perhaps the dog got hit by a car? (;﹏;) i feel like something that’s important is just how much self-hatred Haruka has and his tendency to blame himself for outside factors. i don’t think he LITERALLY killed the dog, but he feels as though he did so it’s become figurative. 

also as far as his dislikes being “children” and “animals”, i think he’s jealous of them, maybe? like that could tie into the yellow roses and their symbolism signifying jealousy and envy. he’s jealous of the inherent “innocence” associated with them. he’s getting older, so that “innocence” that’s accepted with THEM is no longer being used with HIM. Haruka has what’s deemed as “childish” interests and i get the feeling he’s made to feel badly about it. no doubt his disability is tied in with this.

there’s those flowers again. and Haruka tries to drown his wants/needs in order to try and “repent” for being the way he is. it’s HIS fault, so he has to think everything is fine even though he’s NOT fine and he’s going to break at some point under the pressure of society/his parents/everything. 

Haruka makes an effort to try to understand things in the beginning, but everytime he questions something that’s really ~obvious~ to everyone else he’s met with disappointed gazes and harsh critiques. so he stops trying to understand what he’s apparently ~lacking~ and he stops asking questions because that’s it! he’s dumb! he doesn’t get it so why bother!

i feel like by this point any praise to Haruka is better than nothing. rather than indifference or being ignored, he’d even rather be called “crazy”. i think Haruka just wants ANY attention be it good or bad - what he hates the most is feeling invisible or as if he could disappear and it wouldn’t matter to anyone.

i still feel like the blood on his hands is more figurative than literal and for reasons i’ve already explained so there’s no need to rehash it like i’m trying to meet an essay word count requirement

me too Haruka （；へ：）

his feelings of sadness and being unwanted turn to anger onto HIMSELF and it is what snaps the very thin thread he’s been living on 

choking himself ties into the water motif we’ve got going on here. the drowning, the suffocation - no longer being able to breathe because everything is broken and it’s unfixable. and he’s the reason why.

i feel like his crime is somehow suicide/attempted suicide but if it IS suicide then i really don’t know how he could be with the other prisoners? unless they’re all dead and this is some form of purgatory or something but otherwise? i don’t know. i just feel like it could be suicide

now i will also say this. the puddle of blue surrounding “him” has to be blood and that kind of makes me wonder if i’ve been barking up the wrong tree here but. idk any ideas anyone else has on this would be appreciated and also please talk to me about MILGRAM because i’ve got a badddd obsession 

what Haruka wants more than anything is attention and love. he wants love and yet it’s difficult for him to accept love because he doesn’t seem to have any “experience” with love. in the questions asked to him, he doesn’t even seem to really know what “love” actually is. he considers “liking” and “loving” to be the same thing, there’s no difference to him. if he’s getting attention it might not even matter to him because at this point something is better than nothing. 

so yes! this is messy. and it’s perhaps even incoherent. if you read this thanks for coming to my TED talk i love Haruka so much. it’s probably become obvious that i’m a little biased bc i relate to him a lot. let me know your own theories too or thoughts on this, i’d like to know hehe （*´▽｀*）

[fanmoose12]

I am not over it. I am SO not over IT. I read the SNK manga YEARS ago when it was only chapter 100 and one day I had the dumb idea to continue that shit. I am not PLEASED and Hanji's death UTTERLY WRECKED ME, someone who wasn't even a Hanji Stan!! reading the manga made me fall in love with her quiet determination, leadership skills, and sense of duty when before I was more of an Armin type of girl? She just. won me over. and her death was NOT OKAY. I CRIED while saying no no nO NOOO OH MY GOD -

and it TORE ME APART and she was the only person in my mind ever since and I couldn't read the manga in the same nonchalant way ever again. i'm sorry i promise im getting somewhere! it legit ruined my moods and made me so sad all the time IT WAS THAT BAD and i started hating eren with absolute passion. Idek where to start? How her death was pointless & nobody gave a fuck?? and Levi thought of FRICKING ERWIN instead of Hans & I wasnt even a Levihan shipper it doesnt make SENSE! He just LOST HANS

-- and all he can think about is FUCKING ERWIN. come on MAN, and she parented the 104th even REINER had more emotions than these mfers. Everyone is alive EXCEPT HER, like onyakapon and even yelena, minor characters, it just feels so UNFAIR, i'm not mad abt death, i breathe angst like it was chocolate it was just so pointless and meaningless and no one even grieves, especially Levi who was closest to her. there was just no room for her in the plot anymore and thats what makes me pissed -

- not bc it was her time, but bc she ran out of uses to the plot and like in GOT where the character is smarter than the author. not only that, she was made so powerless and pathetic and she felt so useless and she died like that. where's the justice? the character arc? right she was there Just to Save Levi :// it's like that quote from gone girl - "the world will know that [man] threw his beloved wife like garbage, and she floated past down all the other abused, unwanted, INCONVENIENT, women"

(sorry for the fem pronouns, i'm all abt anime hange here). and its not like she wasnt a fan favorite, she's top 3 of the last character poll. just bc shes not levi and eren and armin. and cmon. yams had to nerf and minus 100 out of her iq for the INSANE plan of fucking zeke and the yeagerists, can you BELIEVE she trusted and was OUTSMARTED by ZEKE, who legit massacred the survey corps, even though SHE HAD THE SAME LEVEL OF IQ?? but noooo, plot reasons!! shes not eRwIn, what you expect 🙃

im upset, not bc my fav character died but bc it was meaningless (if falco can fly, why tf didnt he do that in the first place) and hollow in logic and in emotion. maybe snk's lesson to us is life is unfair and we should suck it up. it wasn't well earned & yams wrote hanji in a corner, like (again) in GOT where no matter what daenerys chose she was wrong. sorry i dumped all this to you!! if you're still here, thank you for listening to my month long pent up emotions, im still really sad about it

- and idk how to let go? but your writings have definitely made me feel better, it just comforts me like Levi to a bottle of bleach. thank you for still writing!!! about an anime girl in a fictional world and still delivering more emotion than the original author. my heart definitely feels better these days, though it still aches bc she deserves so much better & didnt deserve whatever the fuck she was given, thank you for championing hanji zoe rights! im 99% sure she wont be revived -

but she lives on in your writings and other fanfiction authors and artworks and i'm just so grateful we have a community like this, honestly im just glad you're here :) keep doing what you do and i hope you're safe and warm & healthy!! also to every hanji stans out there one fucking day when we love a character the author wont rip our hearts and throw it to the garbage, im so so sorry for my long long ask but if i could request maybe eren apologizing to hanji inpaths or when she got captured or

or when she died or you choose!! i saw this art by @siroyuki 2015 in twitter where he's hugging her and shit, you should check it out it gave me feels!! i just want her to be loved and appreciated :((( again thank you so much if you made it this far! im sorry if you're annoyed or smthn HHAHAHA i promise this is the last! thank you for your service to humanity we stan 💪😩👌💕💞 

ah don’t you let canon frustrate you, it doesn’t matter anyway :D like you saud, we still have fics and fanarts

however, yeah, i do kinda feel you :/ like the way yams keeps glossing over hange's death is actually a bit weird? like i know they're at war and i know that they have no time for grieving etc but the kids were literally bawling their eyes when hange died but no mention of her sacrifice at all after that? like in 136, gabi said that they should stop the rumbling to repay azumabito's kindness and that's ummmmmmm.... a little bit weird. sure, gabi is a little girl with no connection to hange but reiner, jean and connie were there, when gabi said that and they saw hange’s sacrifice, so why not say something like “yeah, we can’t let commander hange’s sacrifice go to waste?” like come on. what did azumabito do? let falco transform on the board of her ship, so now she travels on a boat? i don't think that can compare to hange's acts though. she literally brought these mfs who were ready to jump at each other's throat together and then she sacrificed her own life to give them yet another chance at success. a sacrifice that was proved to be utterly meaningless in the very next chapter? why did falco learn about his ability to fly only after hange died? why didn't he discover it upon first transformation? :/

oh, and speaking of hange's character arc? like i get it, she was depressed, she struggled with her role as a commander (even though she did everything she could and she did a damn good job at it). and i guess that this plotline was kinda resolved when she heard that erwin approved of her actions? and that's cool, if what we've seen was actually an afterlife and not hange's hallucination. because if it was indeed a product of her mind then that's, um, kinda depressing bro. hange was so desperate for someone's approval that she dreamed about it while literally dying. i just don't understand why yams didn't include a scene where kids tell her how much they respect her and what an honor it was to serve under her command or SOMETHING. but as it is, hange died, thinking she was weak and useless and, um, yeah, certainly not the end you want for your favorite character :)

so yeah, hange's death was kinda meaningless and pointless - it didn't serve the plot whatsoever + it could have been very easily avoided 

[ayellowcurtain]

mayhaps Lucas w an eating disorder not bc he’s so anxious abt everything going on in his lifeEliottt maybe yann blowing him off for chloe le gang le bac and he just doesn’t have time to eat properly or go to the gym so he skips and half asses it until he passes out?

I wrote this inspired by the second art here (cr: chromewhite1)

-------------------------------

Whenever Lucas’ life start to get overwhelmingly bad, he can’t really function. It’s like juggling with way too many balls at once. Sure, some of his problems he causes to himself, but it’s because he can’t really think or he overthinks it and creates problems to himself and to everyone around him. He’s definitely not the easiest person to deal with.

His essence is made of way too much chaotic energy, self-doubt, fear of abandonment and a little bit of unwanted and sudden anger.

It was hard to see Eliott go through his exams, but he knew that would happen to him too a year later,  and ever since then Lucas’ anxiety only built up to this and yet he wasn’t ready. He started the dumbest arguments with his boyfriend and with his dumb best friend and at some point, they would get tired, of course, they’re humans and they don’t have to deal with Lucas’ bullshit. It’s his fault when Eliott starts moving away from him.

And when he discovers that he went out for lunch with Yann and Chloe, Lucas just wants to curl around himself and cry and that’s what he does, crying in the privacy of his lonely bedroom all night long because Eliott doesn’t come back to the flat either, he just texts saying that he was tired and going home.

He didn’t even say that he was with Yann!

Lucas doesn’t respond his text either, he keeps himself hidden in his bedroom the entire weekend, studying as much as he can, at least worrying about his studies will help him stop worrying about his relationship and how Eliott is moving on from him.

On Monday he goes to school alone, leaving Manon behind, probably still sleeping. He’s one of the first students to get to class, he stays hidden inside his hoodie, listening to his music as loud as he can. When his classes are done, he grabs his bag and rushes out of the school just as quickly as he got there this morning.

Eliott texted him this morning and he didn’t answer either. It’ll be easier if he just dump Lucas at once, Lucas hates dragging drama for longer than what’s needed. Yann and the boys talked on their group the entire weekend, but Lucas didn’t check the chat once either.

As soon as he’s back home, he rushes to his bedroom, ready for another study session by himself. His stomach is so empty, Lucas feels like there’s a hole instead of organs, but it doesn’t matter. Once he was used to the feeling, he can get used to it now. 

Maybe he should eat something, but nothing he can think of making makes him want to eat it. And he’s almost out of money as well, so might as well save it. But he can definitely drink some water or coffee. He’ll refill his water bottle and make some coffee or he won’t be able to study today. He’s tired, his body hurts from all the crying and the lack of sleep and food.

Mika is in the kitchen, cooking something for himself and it smells bad, Lucas has to hold his breath not to puke right there, in the middle of their tiny kitchen.

“Hey, Lulu! Wanna eat my-”

“Don’t...Don’t say it. I might fucking puke. It smells bad.” He complains, feeling all the water that he drank during the last few days rush back to his throat and he has to swallow hard to hold it inside. Mika is looking at him, leaving his pans alone for a second. Lucas doesn’t understand the look, his mouth is so ridiculously dry and he thinks about asking why Mika is looking at him, but it doesn’t happen.

-

“Just breathe, it’s ok...breathe slowly, Lucas, I’m here.” Lucas doesn’t remember falling asleep, he opens his eyes slowly to find Mika on top of him, a little too close. He looks worried. 

Lucas starts to feel cold, he’s lying on something cold and he can feel his shirt all wet, sticking to his skin. “Hello, you!” Mika finally says in his normal tone, but Lucas can see in his eyes that he’s still worried.

“What’s going on?” He moves his hands and hears when his bottle rolls out of his stomach and into the floor, but it’s empty, Mika helps him sit slowly, putting Lucas against the cabinets.

“You fainted, Lucas.” Mika explains as he looks up and Lisa is there too now, handing him one of Lucas’ shirts. “C’mon, put this on.” He doesn’t need to ask twice. Lucas thinks he should just obey so he takes his soaked shirt off, dropping by his side and he accepts the clean and warm one, putting it with Mika’s help. Lisa is already gone, with her back to them, probably cooking something.

“Fuck, I’m hungry.” Whatever Lisa is making smells so good, his stomach is almost screaming at him now, begging for food.

“Yeah, don’t worry, Lisa is making something for you. Come on, I’ll help you.” Mika holds his arm tightly and helps Lucas get out of the cold kitchen floor. His brain is still a little foggy, it feels like it’s restarting very slowly so Lucas has trouble understanding what’s going on around him.

He lets Mika put him on the couch and he watches as his flatmate rushes back to the kitchen with his phone in hand. Mika comes back with water for Lucas and he just drinks it without questioning. A minute or two later, Lisa comes with a plate full of food and Lucas doesn’t even asks what it is, as soon as it’s on his lap, he eats every single bite as Mika and Lisa watch like they’re watching the most interesting wild animals documentary.

They’re being nice and Lucas probably scared the shit out of them, but his body doesn’t let him carry enough, he’s so tired all of a sudden, so he just puts the empty plate on the coffee table and slowly slips to lie down on the couch and he instantly falls asleep.

-

Someone comes very close, nuzzling into his neck and leaving a kiss there while he puts both arms underneath Lucas and picks him up from the couch. There’s only one person who would do that so Lucas doesn’t even open his eyes, it feels so good to sleep. He just leans against the broad chest and lets him take Lucas to whatever place they’re going.

“Wake up…” Eliott kisses his face and neck again when Lucas is sitting on a surface again. It still feels too good to keep his eyes closed, he doesn’t wanna wake up, but he does, blinking slowly to finally find the most handsome man right in front of him.

His boyfriend looks worried, but he opens a tiny smile when Lucas manages to keep his eyes open.

“Hi.”

“Hi, baby.” Eliott puts boths hands on his cheeks and kisses him. “You’re all wet, come, I’ll help you take a bath.” Lucas understand that he should start controlling his body and taking his clothes off if they’re going to take a shower, but he doesn’t do much so Eliott leads the way, slowly and with all the care in the world, he takes Lucas clothes off and helps him stand.

The water feels so good and warm. Only then Lucas realizes how cold he was. He could live inside this bathtub with Eliott.

Eliott sits right in front of him, letting Lucas stay in between his legs. Lucas is just staring at his beautiful boyfriend and Eliott is cleaning him, letting warm water go from his shoulders to the small of his back, into the bathtub again.

“You need to eat something…” Eliott says, still taking care of Lucas, washing his neck with his big and soft hands.

“I ate. Lisa made me something…”

“I know, but you need to eat more. We’re going to get you something to eat when we’re done here.” Lucas whines, quietly sitting closer, he doesn’t feel like going out at all. He wants to stay inside this bathtub for hours until his life is back on track.

“I don’t feel like going out.” He rest his head against Eliott’s shoulder and his boyfriend puts his hands on his back again, kissing his temple.

“We can go to my place then and I’ll order something, but you’re gonna stay with me and you’ll eat.”

“I’m sorry for this mess. For being a mess and bothering you at this hour.” Lucas whispers, finally understanding what happened, what time it is…

“You’re never bothering me, Lucas. And I like taking care of you.” One of his hands comes to hold Lucas’ chin, making him look up and they just keeping looking at each other for a while. Sometimes Eliott comes closer and just puts their lips together for a second.

[mlmdarkfiction]

What characters do you write for that WOULD kill their partners?

I know you wanted an overall of all the fandoms on this blog, but like that a lot of work. if you want a specific fandom lemme know and I’ll do it! But for now I’m doing my ocs other yandere blogs get to talk abt their ocs and im jealous on main. I’m only doing the ones that are canon yandere/have yandere tendencies

uhhh please lemme know if you like this/are interested in me writing more for my ocs at some pointTag List: @datenightfright @sunshine-and-murderxbears

TW: Death, Violence, Necrophilia (In the Mimi fic only), suicidal ideation (Judas fic), 

Read Bellow:

Mimi: 

“Goodmorning babe.” 

She lifts the skull to her lips first thing, not even yet out of bed. It’s a kiss, genuine in it’s endeavor. You may be dead, but she’d keep your body parts. After all, she’d killed you to keep you with her. If you’d thought she was just going to let you, then you obviously knew nothing about her. 

It had been planned. She told you that she understood, that you didn’t love her anymore and she could accept that. But the minute you had turned to leave she had smashed her bat into the back of your head. 

It shattered the back of your skull. 

The death was quicker than she had expected. It also absolutely...lit something up inside of her. She’s not crazy, not by her own standards at least, but...something about smashing your skull watching the blood splatter against her favorite practice bat totally turned her on. 

In the moment she wasn’t proud of it. There’s absolutely something...not right about grinding your needy cunt against your dead partners face as their body cools, but she’s never come harder. 

“I have class,” She speaks to your skull, setting it down gently on her bedside table. Mimi is fully aware that you can’t speak back, she’s not crazy, but she likes to believe you’re there, watching her still. 

“But then I’ll come back and give you all the attention you missed out on while I was away, okay?”

Garma:

He’s not mad. He’s not. He’s not!

Why can’t you just love him back? 

“G-Garma?” Your voice comes out as nothing more than a frightened whimper. You could tell he was upset. You could always tell. Whether his face was blank of any emotion or not, his other worldly powers made how he was feeling obvious. Several times already you’d been forced to duck past as a chair or plate went flying across the room.

Living with Garma taught you why poltergeist hauntings were so feared.

It’s your voice that draws him out of it. All the previously floating items crash to the ground. “Baby! Baby. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it.” 

His hands press to your face, cupping it, and tilting it up until he presses his forehead against you. He’s cold to the touch. 

“Garma?...”

“Are you afraid of me?”

A chill runs down your spine.

His nails dig into your arms. “Are you?”“You’re hurting me...”Things are flying again suddenly. The last thing you remember seeing is a dark look in Garma’s eyes before something hits you hard. 

Judas:

“Judas-Put the gun down.”

It’s not uncommon that he gets like this, especially when drunk. An insecure man with access to guns and law enforcement. 

He wasn’t horrible, no. He may have kidnapped you, and forced you to stay with him, but...there was a lot of worse things that could have happened. Judas never forced himself onto you sexually, or even really at all. He understood that you were here against your will. All he’d said he wanted was to protect you. 

Although he seemed to be okay with your arrangement for the most part, him providing for you and keeping you trapped in his home, while you ignore his very existence, there were nights like this.

Nights when he’d come home shit faced drunk (How had he even made it home? He’s a cop does he really drink and drive?, shit faced and sad. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Judas is sobbing now, the pistol is pointed at himself, not at you. No, never at you. 

“I can’t keep you here, I shouldn’t have tried.”“Put the gun down.”

On the one hand your heart is leaping at his words. You want to leave, to go back to your normal life, but you don’t want Judas to kill himself. It maybe the stockholm syndrome speaking, but he’s not a bad person. He’s ill, incredibly mentally ill.

You don’t want him to die. You want him to get help. 

He’s ready to pull the trigger, you can see his resolve, and you act without thinking. You tackle him, your body crashing into his own, and clearly taking him by surprise. He’s bigger than you, and although you don’t actually knock him over, you surprise him enough that he drops the gun.

Neither of you were expecting it to go off.

Violet

Violet Antoinette is a monster. He may not have done anything directly to you, but you were so tired of his constant forced presence in your life. Practically every moment of your life he was there, either stalking you from the shadows, or actually speaking to you. Being so nice, acting so normal.

You’re so fucking tired of him.

No one understands. Everyone’s on his side!

 “Violet wouldn’t hurt a fly!” “Violet’s so nice!” “He must just really like you!”

You hate them all.

And there he is. The worst of all the enablers to Violet’s disgusting behavior, his older brother Blue.  He’s getting in his truck, no doubt on his way to see his little maggot of a brother, but you get to him first, taking him off guard. 

You slam him hard into the wall. 

“Take control of your little freak.” There’s a flash of recognition, followed by anger in the older Antoinette’s eyes. He stares you down unafraid of your hand around his throat. 

“I don’t want to see him following me anymore, I don’t want his gifts, or his phone calls. I want him to leave me alone.” Blue only responds by spitting in your face.

“You’re fucking disgusting!” 

It’s a scream, and you release him. He hits the ground hard, panting for breath as you wipe away the unwanted body fluid. 

But then all at once, Blue starts to laugh. You turn to him, confused, giving a hard kick to his ribs from your higher position. “What the fuck are you laughing at?”

Whatever answer Blue gives you don’t hear. You’re grabbed suddenly by the hair, face connecting with the concrete alley wall soon after. 

You’re already feeling dizzy, fighting to even stay conscious as you attempt to free yourself. Your attacker stops suddenly, flipping you around to face them. 

It’s Violet in the flesh. His mismatched eyes no longer holding and semblance of unhealthy puppy love they usually have in your presence, no they’re cold. His eyes are dead eyes.“Violet please-”

You beg through the blood filling your mouth, despite the ache in your skull. He doesn’t respond to your begging.

“I love you. You wouldn’t do this right? You love me too.”

“You love me?”

“Yes! Yes Violet, I love you.” 

You would say anything at this point for survival. Violet had never been violent with you before, never showed any signs of it, and now that you’re stuck at his mercy you’re realizing for the first time just how strong he is. 

“That sucks.”

“What-”

“Bro’s before hoes.”

There’s a knife. You hadn’t noticed it, but now you certainly did as it cuts through the air lodging itself in your neck. Violet’s laughing, it’s the only other sound as you gurgle and choke to death on your own blood. 

It doesn’t take long for you to bleed out. It’s almost as if Violet knew the right place to cut.

“Vi?...”

Blue stands to his full height, gently reaching out for his little brother. Violet’s still laughing, staring down at the corpse, occasionally removing the knife only to plunge it weakly into the flesh again. 

“Come on Vi,”

He reaches for the knife, taking it from Violet’s hand, and then all at once there’s a change. Violet looks to his brother with a sheepish smile.

“Are you okay? Did they hurt you?” Now that he’s lucid Violet’s the concerned one. Fretting over Blue like a worried mother. 

The mistake you made was treating Blue badly, you see, Violet doesn’t care if you’re mean to him, but he won’t allow anyone to hurt his brother.

[christophersymes]

Celebrity Status

Celebrity Status, an ongoing L(G)B(T)+ story also on Wattpad and Quotev.

<– Previous / Next –>

Chapter Three

Later on that week, Jules was messaging Elías between class and work. He was sitting in his truck, adjusting his collar on his work shirt and frowning at the message Elías had sent about having something important to talk about.

familyjules: hey, dude. i have a bit of time between school and work right now. what's going on?

Mason's stomach flipped when Jules finally replied.

masonfucker1000: hey

masonfucker1000: i need to tell you smth

masonfucker1000: its been eating me up and i feel horrible about it

masonfucker1000: my name isn't elias

masonfucker1000: but i cant tell you who i am and im sorry

Jules looked at the messages as they came in, swallowing hard. He ran a hand through his hair, frowning. He felt like crying. Whoever this was was really torn up, but that didn't matter to him at all. He didn't care who they were, as long as everything else was real. That's all he fucking needed. He didn't really care, just as long as it wasn't...

familyjules: but everything else is real, right? idgaf about your name but we have something here

familyjules: be it friendship or whatever else it could be as long as you're not catfishing me to teach me a lesson or some shit i don't care about that

Mason let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when Jules replied.

masonfucker1000: no catfish. everything else i've told you is true.

masonfucker1000: uh wait are you saying you have a crush on me

It was a serious conversation, but Mason couldn't help it. He had blinked and reread the message, doubting its existence for a moment. This was the first time Jules had seriously mentioned them being anything other than just friends. He couldn't just let it go.

Jules blushed at the second message, realizing he had. And he wasn't being totally honest with them either, but... He didn't know what to do. It was too late now to change that, especially if whoever it was was straight and had a crush too, which seemed true. He hoped it was true.

familyjules: maybe. depends on if u feel the same

Mason grinned, face hot at the response.

masonfucker1000: maybe, u say. idk abt that, those sound like v conditional feelings

Jules smiled. Back to good old... whoever.

familyjules: shut up you dork

familyjules: maybe i do have a crush on you.

familyjules: also what should i call you now if not elías?

masonfucker1000: well i definitely have a crush on you, baby

masonfucker1000: you can call me anything you want ;)

familyjules: asshole is the perfect name for you, asshole. ;)

familyjules: okay i gotta get into work. have a good evening, asshole! i'll talk to you later

masonfucker1000: ofc thats what u pick

masonfucker1000: talk to you later, jules x thanks for being awesome

Jules frowned a little at the end of the last text. He could only hear it in Mason's voice from the concert. He'd said it so many times: at every fucking concert Jules had ever watched live and the one he went to. Either this was a Mason superfan who was adopting language, or it... No. It couldn't be.

He pushed the thought out of his head. It was ridiculous.

Yet, as he went into work and through the night, he kept coming back to it. He just kept thinking about how cool and terrifying it would be if he were talking to the actual Mason Hill, but also how unlikely that was.

But it was oh-so fucking likely! The way Mason had kept looking at him at the concert could have been a coincidence, or it could have been Mason looking toward that general area and Jules was just a wishful thinker. Or it could have been Mason looking at him because he knew him. Because he liked him.

But the chances of Mason Hill being Elias and liking Jules... It was so ridiculous. The chance of that was, like, one in a fucking million.

Anyway, shouldn't he be wishfully thinking it was Austin going by his middle name and Jules totally seducing him?

masonfucker1000: hey hey heyyy how's it goin how was work

familyjules: exhausting. underpaying. the usual. had some woman threaten to throw a salad at me tonight because there were tomatoes on it and she hates tomatoes so much it warrants violence supposedly.

familyjules: but i was in a good mood overall thanks to you and your mutual crush... speaking of we should talk about that

masonfucker1000: yikes! cloudy w a chance of tomatoes up in there i see

masonfucker1000: aww! you're welcome

masonfucker1000: alright (?) hit me w it

familyjules: i don't want to like... date or anything til we meet if we ever do

familyjules: don't get me wrong i like you a lot

familyjules: but it feels wrong to do ldr if i can't know your identity at all even though i dont care that much about it

familyjules: just in terms of dating i'd need a name, you know? and more than just your age and that we like each other

Mason groaned. He saw it coming, but fuck.

masonfucker1000: no yeah, that makes sense.

masonfucker1000: i like you a lot

masonfucker1000: shit

masonfucker1000: fuck

masonfucker1000: i want to meet you

masonfucker1000: but

masonfucker1000: i think maybe some more time would be good

masonfucker1000: figure out how im gonna do this

Jules stared at the messages, feeling really bad about it. He sighed, hitting his forehead against the wheel lightly. Idiot.

familyjules: yeah. i'm sorry dude

masonfucker1000: hey no

masonfucker1000: don't worry abt it, you're right

masonfucker1000: you're being super sweet and understanding and i appreciate it

masonfucker1000: have i mentioned i really like you?

Jules sighed, leaning back again. He was too smitten for this guy. This was great. He hadn't seen this yet from him.

familyjules: i really like you, masonfucker1000

familyjules: for lack of a better name

Mason snorted, wheezing and bending over in his seat.

masonfucker1000: wow.

masonfucker1000: you really have a way with words

Mason had been floating on air ever since he'd finally told Jules that he wasn't Elias and Jules said that she liked him. It was amazing! It was unlike anything he'd felt before! Which meant he obviously had to share every detail with his bandmates.

"Good morning, prisoners of the Junkmobile!" Mason announced his knowingly unwanted consciousness as he hopped off his bunk, narrowly missing slamming his head against the top bunk adjacent to his. Their tour bus, which they tended to give nicknames, was a mess, but it was their mess, and really, everything was where it was should be.

"That wasn't the name we agreed on, was it?" Austin frowned, pausing in the middle of a spoonful of cereal.

Andrew rolled his eyes as he tossed a pile of Hot Pockets in the microwave.

"The Rat Roller has many names," Mason ruffled Austin's hair. He froze and frowned at them making sad breakfast. "Hey! No tourfast! Don't we have a few hours for Bryan's break?"

Chris groaned from a bit farther behind them in his bunk, "Stop trying to give everything a tour nickname. I thought you'd given up on that."

Bryan was their driver, and he took his breaks very seriously. He was definitely passed out right now. Not that they interacted with him much to know much more than that. Bryan, as many band bus drivers tended to be (in Nosam's experience), preferred minimal contact with the rabid animals that usually inhabited his enclosure.

"Never!" Mason hollered, grinning. "It's fun. Where's your tour spirit? Now, c'mon, let's go and get some actual food."

Andrew grimaced as if the concept of leaving the bus had physically burned him. "Rather not."

Austin nodded in agreement. "Pretty sure there's fans right outside. We're due for a hotel in a day or two anyway, we'll go out then."

Mason bounced a little, annoyed and definitely going fucking crazy on that bus. He pushed himself off the counter, falling into the booth across from Austin and sinking into it. "Guys, I'm going to lose my shit if I spent one more minute in here. Who cares if there's fans out? We'll say hi. I need out of this bus. I need to do something."

"Then go, no one's stopping you," Andrew looked at him pointedly.

"But I don't wanna go alone," Mason whined, looking off to Chris' bunk, his curtains half-closed. "Chris."

There was loud groaning from the bunk, and the curtains were shoved open as Chris' head poked out, blinking tiredly. "What, Mason?"

"Tell them we have to go out."

"We don't," Chris sighed.

"You guys don't love me anymore," Mason went on, throwing his head back.

Austin rolled his eyes. "Mase, we just want a break. We've got a show tonight, Stella's calling soon and—"

"You called her last night!" Mason sat up to look at him.

Austin blushed, his face turning red like a curtain falling over his face. "So? I miss her, I haven't seen in her in a month."

Mason made multiple sounds that were a mix between constipated groans and a kid throwing a tantrum.

The microwave blared, only adding to the volume. Andrew yanked the door open, a disgruntled sound falling from his lips as he grabbed the burning hot pockets with his bare hands. "And I have a date with the PS4," he announced as he carefully placed a can of Redbull on top of the pile in his hands and escaped to the back of the bus. Chris promptly ducked his head back in so Andrew could pass by, giving Mason a pleading look as he closed the curtain.

Mason pouted, quieting down as he stared at Austin, who awkwardly pushed Reese's Puffs around in his bowl, taking out his phone. Mason groaned again. "How about brunch? In a few hours?" he asked, loud enough Andrew in the back could hear. "C'mon, I want to tell you guys something."

"If it's about cyber sex with your fan, nyet!" Andrew hollered back.

"I second that motion. I've heard enough about Jules' sexting skills," Austin gagged.

The bunk their bassist was in made a bunch of unintelligible, mumbled Sleepy Chris sounds that Mason roughly translated to: I agree and I'm happy for you Mason, but please, no more of that.

Mason grinned, "No, but it's important. Pretty please?"

"Yes!" Chris yelled in exasperation, followed by a noncommittal uh huh from Andrew. Mason smiled, and then quickly dropped it to give Austin a sad look, but his performance was rudely interrupted by Austin's phone ringing.

Austin's face lit up as he picked up his phone, glancing up at Mason. "Okay, okay, brunch, but go somewhere else, alright? Watch Andrew or something."

"Okay, but if you guys start talking dirty, I'll throw your phone out the window."

Mason settled in next to Andrew, who frowned and sighed quietly, but otherwise didn't complain. The back of the bus was, for the most part, an unspoken quiet area, unless everyone was playing a game or talking about a game, or it was a Serious Conversation.

Mason watched Andrew dominate, and then Andrew handed him a controller. Chris joined later when he wanted to get away from Austin and Stella's horrible phone call that was, of course, taking a turn for the sexual. Mason quickly opted out of the next game when he got a message from Jules.

familyjules: hey hey masonfucker1000

masonfucker1000: oh my god not you again

familyjules: ): u hate me that much already? didn't we just admit we have crushes?

Mason grinned at the reminder. Crushes! He felt like he was fourteen, but he didn't care. They had mutual crushes, and this felt genuine, and natural, and like it could actually be something. AKA, as he was realizing, the polar opposite of all his exes.

masonfucker1000: what? idk what ur talking abt man

familyjules: not-elías cmon

familyjules: don't be a dumbass ):

masonfucker1000: im always a dumbass, darling

masonfucker1000: how was work?

familyjules: eh, it was alright. people are rude, but it's expected

familyjules: how was ur day? haven't heard from u much today

masonfucker1000: its been p chill! day off! mostly been lazying around and playing video games w friends! i hate tony he beats me! almost always! im gonna kill him!! and you wont even know its him on the news!

Sometime early on in their online relationship, Mason had had a hard time not mentioning Andrew, Austin, and Chris. They were his coworkers, his bandmates, his best friends and his family. His bros! How could he not? So, he'd ended up using other names for them. Tony, from Andrew's middle name Anthony, Vic from one of Austin's last names, and well, he'd just been spelling Chris as Criss, which was horrendous but a necessary evil.

familyjules: i'll keep an eye out for tonys in the obituaries and let the cops know they should look for a traveling prostitute who sounds like mason hill when he sings. what game did u play?

masonfucker1000: alrighty but I'm like fucking Mary Poppins ill be up and out before they even get there

masonfucker1000: Halo 5

familyjules: you're fucking mary poppins and not me?

familyjules: D:

masonfucker1000: ohmy god

masonfucker1000: i wish

masonfucker1000: i had a disney boner for her i swear

familyjules: okay but do u mean julie andrews or emily blunt poppins?

masonfucker1000: UH COME ON

masonfucker1000: OBVIOUSLY JULIE ANDREWS

masonfucker1000: MY TASTES ARE RAD AND CLASSY

familyjules: just making sure dude

familyjules: emily blunt's pretty hot after all

masonfucker1000: MEH SHES ALRIGHT

familyjules: smh your tastes are awful

masonfucker1000: u just fucking dissed urself

familyjules: damn right i did.

familyjules: on the contrary tho

familyjules: i have amazing taste.

masonfucker1000: dont u dare! u are the most gorgeous! the MOST! gorgeous!

masonfucker1000: and shit i cant argue that

familyjules: making me blush again, mf1000? already?

masonfucker1000: anytime and all the time

masonfucker1000: okay but what if I had the biggest grossest mole like

masonfucker1000: on my nose

masonfucker1000: im not saying i DO

masonfucker1000: i DON'T

masonfucker1000: and I'm also not saying moles are gross

masonfucker1000: okay

masonfucker1000: what I mean is

masonfucker1000: what if i was your definition of

masonfucker1000: fucking butt ugly

familyjules: oh, you're mason hill?

masonfucker1000: oh

masonfucker1000: my

masonfucker1000: fucking

masonfucker1000: god

masonfucker1000: u KNOW you wish u were mason's hands !!!!

masonfucker1000: i cant believe you !!!

masonfucker1000: i thought we had something !!!

familyjules: i didn't say his hands weren't pretty

familyjules: just a joke!! you dumbass

masonfucker1000: His HANDS?

masonfucker1000: thats ALL?

masonfucker1000: what about his PERFECT FACE?

masonfucker1000: his MUSCLES?

masonfucker1000: his HAIR?

masonfucker1000: his ASS?

masonfucker1000: his AVERAGE DICK?

familyjules: they're not awful, i guess. i doubt you look too much like him tho

masonfucker1000: I LOOK perfect

masonfucker1000: THATS ALL U NEED TO KNOW RN

masonfucker1000: AND HE'S PERFECT

familyjules: god this is why i don't interact with mason stans smfh

familyjules: now if u look like austin.... i'll nut in my jeans as soon as i see u

masonfucker1000: FUCK U

masonfucker1000: MASON STANS ARE THE BEST

masonfucker1000: and i look BETTER than austin so u WILL nut

familyjules: better??

familyjules: than austin?????

familyjules: does not compute?????????

masonfucker1000: you're INSUFFERABLE

masonfucker1000: I'll murder him

Mason whined indignantly, earning a look from both Chris and Andrew as he grabbed a pillow and stood up to launch it at Austin, who stopped mid-sentence to Stella to stammer and glare at him. "We're not being gross!" He blushed at whatever Stella said in response to that, quickly turning away again.

Mason sat back down without explanation, only mildly satisfied.

familyjules: okay im starting to think you're a traveling murderer prostitute. is that more correct?

masonfucker1000: im too pretty for prison

familyjules: that... wasn't a no

masonfucker1000: 😉🔫🔥🗡️💼🕶🤖🖤😍💥

familyjules: what's the robot doin in there? do u kill via robot?

masonfucker1000: im an emotionless killer

masonfucker1000: ruthless

familyjules: OH. kinky

masonfucker1000: oh, yeah? youre into that?

familyjules: ;)

familyjules: maybe i am

masonfucker1000: wait ur into ruthless murderers or being ruthlessly murdered

familyjules: ;)

masonfucker1000: oh my god its the latter isnt it

familyjules: 🤤🔫🗡️🔥🤖

Mason had practically dragged the boys out of the bus. For all the constant complaining about how cramped and boring the bus was, they sure hated leaving it. Which was totally understandable, fans could be a lot, especially after hanging with them during so many shows and meet and greets, but it was definitely worth it for some food. Or at least that was what Mason thought.

With the help of a couple of bodyguards, the guys managed to get through a small crowd of fans and cameras near the bus, and into the nearest decent-looking restaurant. Mason sighed happily as they were seated. "You guys need sunlight and all that. Papa Rod said we shouldn't be shut in the bus if we can help it."

"Papa Rod can suck it," Andrew kicked lightly at Mason's leg, looking over the menu with interest.

"Do you think they have frozen yogurt? I've been craving it for weeks," Austin questioned, miserable and hopeful as he flipped to the back of the menu. Chris' eyes widened and he dropped his menu in favor of looking at desserts with Austin.

Mason laughed, "If you guys are doing dessert first, I'm in, but I want pie. Wait, you're distracting me! I need to tell you something—"

"They do!" Chris pointed out the froyo on the menu, and Austin gasped.

Andrew watched them deliberate excitedly over flavors in amusement, glancing at Mason. "What's up?"

"I sort of told Jules the truth. That I'm not who I've been telling her I am," Mason blurted, raising an eyebrow as Austin and Chris stopped to stare at him.

"What does that mean?" Austin gaped. "Does she know who you are? Did she faint? Have you checked social media?" Chris tried to discreetly check his phone.

"No," Mason rolled his eyes, laughing a little, "Of course she doesn't know— I just, I couldn't keep lying like that, I felt like shit. And after actually meeting her... I just couldn't, so I told her I'm not Elias, but that I can't really tell her much about me."

"Oh," Chris frowned, putting his phone down. "That's... still sort of..." "Complicated?" Andrew supplied, playing with his fingers anxiously as a few people around them stared and whispered to themselves excitedly. "How'd she take it?"

"Great, and we even admitted we had feelings—"

Andrew gasped sarcastically, smiling slightly as he dropped his chin in his hands as he leaned forward. "You admitted you had feelings?"

"You're not funny, Drew," Mason tried to hide a smile, his next words making it easier. "She said that we can't really... well, date, if she doesn't know stuff about me and hasn't even met me. I told her I'd need time to figure it out. I want to tell her, but... I don't know," Mason muttered, sighing and looking down at the table as he played with the corners of his menu.

"Makes sense," Chris smiled sympathetically, giving his hand.

"We would really like to not experience another Catherine," Austin teased.

Andrew shuddered, "Don't even mention it, I still half-expect for some agent to send us a thriller screenplay based on your fan stalker."

"Ha ha," Mason chuckled, "Okay, I know I've said I'm not really into the big screen, but I would totally do that one."

Andrew looked to Austin and Chris. "So, are we getting the froyo?"

They spent way more time than was necessary debating the validity of certain froyo flavors (honestly, an old debate constantly refueled), Mason checking the Nosam site after they had finally agreed on one.

masonfucker1000: real talk: whos the one person youre embarrassed to say you want to fuck

familyjules: real talk? mason hill

masonfucker1000: aw COME ON

masonfucker1000: what did MASON HILL EVER DO TO U??

familyjules: im KIDDING

familyjules: ur reactions are just hilarious

familyjules: honestly tho? my clone. i'd fuck myself.

masonfucker1000: sadist

masonfucker1000: wait

masonfucker1000: what

masonfucker1000: what

masonfucker1000: you'd what

familyjules: lots of shame in that

familyjules: you heard me

familyjules: read me?

masonfucker1000: 1) i did not expect that

masonfucker1000: 2) why would you have any shame in that

familyjules: 1) gotta keep you on your toes

familyjules: 2) it's fucking myself, dude??? you wouldn't feel any shame if someone walked in on u fucking ur clone?

masonfucker1000: not at all

masonfucker1000: thatd be hot

familyjules: anyway, who would you be embarrassed to fuck?

familyjules: you're biased.

masonfucker1000: biased? cuz i know im hot shit? yeah probably

masonfucker1000: and uh...

masonfucker1000: huh

masonfucker1000: Christina Ricci

familyjules: oh, i thought you were talking about u walking in on me fucking myself. damn. familyjules: misinterpreted

familyjules: and christina ricci????? she's fucking hot

familyjules: why would u be embarrassed

masonfucker1000: that would also be hot

masonfucker1000: and yes, she is masonfucker1000: you don't just fuck christina ricci, you take her out on a date and then get horribly rejected by her

familyjules: .....fair.

masonfucker1000: not to mention shes probably a top

familyjules: major top vibes from ricci too. u trying to tell me something, not-elías?

familyjules: HA

masonfucker1000: ... im a top

familyjules: what if u walked in on christina ricci fucking me

familyjules: what then

masonfucker1000: oh shit

masonfucker1000: id be so mad

familyjules: would u bottom for christina?

masonfucker1000: ...................................................................

masonfucker1000: yes.

familyjules: damn. u would be embarrassed to fuck her then huh

familyjules: wait would u be embarrassed to fuck stella? u could take her and i could take austin

"Ugh, gross," Mason grimaced, sighing at Austin, who had some froyo stuck to his mouth when he looked up at him. "Why is Jules so obsessed with boning you? It's like, the only turn-off."

Austin shrugged sheepishly. "You're finally into someone and she couldn't care less about Mason Hill. It's the universe telling you you're not that great."

"Don't slander, Sally, I'm the best the universe has ever made. The Goddess made me on the seventh day."

Austin opened his mouth to argue, but thought better of it. Froyo was vastly more important than Mason's ego.

masonfucker1000: oh jesus christ

masonfucker1000: i guess i would but i don't like the second part of that plan

familyjules: you don't? ):

masonfucker1000: nope

masonfucker1000: you can take chris

familyjules: ugh

familyjules: dont get me wrong i love chris but i don't love chris

masonfucker1000:

masonfucker1000: ugh?

masonfucker1000: HA

masonfucker1000: thats hilarious

familyjules: he's just big inspo!

familyjules: christo!

masonfucker1000: how bout Andrew?

familyjules: UGH

familyjules: BORING

masonfucker1000: OH SHIT cmon

masonfucker1000: what makes u think he'd be boring?

familyjules: i'd take MASON over andrew

familyjules: i mean, andy's cool and all but he's so quiet

masonfucker1000: you make it sound like fucking mason would be so horrible

familyjules: need someone to talk to

familyjules: puh-LEASE he would be

masonfucker1000: the quiet ones are always the freaky ones

masonfucker1000: oh he talks a lot to the band doesn't he?

masonfucker1000: WHY DO U SAY THAT

familyjules: the freaky ones? are you joking that andrew's freaky? interesting

familyjules: yeah but i'm not the band!

masonfucker1000: im just sayin its who hes close to !

familyjules: what, are u jealous of mason now cuz he's my second choice? this is hypothetical, man

masonfucker1000: masons above all, im jealous u somehow think austin tops him and me and apparently everyone else

masonfucker1000: do u have eyes??

familyjules: hey i didn't know you were in this equation

familyjules: i'd choose you anyday, ne

familyjules: definitely my top choice.

familyjules: 1. not-elías (tho i'd need a name to moan) 2. austin elías salinas vicente 3. mason hill

masonfucker1000: awwww SHUCKS scratch that i have never been jealous in my entire life

masonfucker1000: I read that as neigh tho

masonfucker1000: what's your favorite thing in the entire world

familyjules: is that even a question?

masonfucker1000: yes it is tell me

masonfucker1000: is it sour gummy worms

familyjules: oh that's a good one

familyjules: check out that list again, dude

familyjules: hello? did i kill u or something?

masonfucker1000:

YEAH how are you single ???

give a dude a WARNING

familyjules: whoops

familyjules: just found the right person, so... waiting on them

familyjules: OOPS. warning

masonfucker1000: im the right person, huh?

familyjules: pretty sure you could be

familyjules: not a 60 year old mouth breather? apparently hotter than austin? loves nosam?

familyjules: hilarious?

familyjules: sweet?

familyjules: only downside is: mason stan.

familyjules: but that i can live with

masonfucker1000: oh my god that's an UPSIDE

masonfucker1000: youre really in for it baby

masonfucker1000: im the definition of the right one

familyjules: oh, i'm sure

masonfucker1000:

despite your unrelenting obsession w Austin, you are absolutely heartstoppingly gorgeous, and the easiest person to talk to, with the lamest sense of humor (like me) and you are a huge teddy bear!! 🐻 so right back atcha, sweetheart

familyjules: dumbass. there's that sweetness i was talking about 💙💙💙💙

[izanyas]

i jUST SAW YOUR POST ANd ur writing is V GOOD and if U dont like it u should know that we're like, hundreds who live for what u dish out? i cry abt almost every one of ur fics??i think that the only reason ur not A Big Famous Fanfic Author is just bc of the fandoms?? im not saying u should stop writing abt them no!! just that bigshot animes have more ff readers or w/e?+lots of bad fanfics are popular so theres lots of luck involved too? it has nOTHING to do w ur writing bc its like, magic

this is such a sweet message aah T__T i feel bad for posting that i’m just *clenches fist* Frustrated. i too think my choice of fandoms has a lot to do with it. i can’t help that i’m into dead or only mildly popular things, i like what i like, and don’t worry i’m not going to abandon them for big shot anime i’m not even interested in :p i only write what i want to write!

i think, also, that it’s just hard in general to gather attention from writing fic unless you’re also drawing on the side or pandering to very unhealthy but well-loved tropes. (there are exceptions of course). most people don’t reblog fic on tumblr or share them in other ways, and the feedback at ao3 is so scarce. i was ranting about it with a writer friend this morning, we’ve both been at it for a decade and we both still have to watch 95% of readers never leave a word. i don’t think people really understand how much of a toll that takes on your self-esteem. the only solution to get more feedback is to be more popular—which in itself isn’t even something i crave (being popular means being subjected to a lot of unwanted attention). i’d be fine as i am now if only the hit-comment ratio wasn’t so fucking bad. i can’t tell you the number of times i’ve browsed through my ao3 thinking “i really wish everyone who left a kudo also left a comment”.

i don’t think hundreds of people being into my fics is realistic hgdfjhs but thank you, this made me feel a lot better 💖 

[imaginetonyandbucky]

What about bucky noticing how sensitive and emotional tony really is bucky who never really thought much abt tony but then someone on the team says something really mean to him. tony makes a sarcastic response and leaves. later bucky accidently finds tony crying his eyes out. since then he starts paying attention and notices how soft and how freaking sensitive tony is. he starts getting protective. next time someone makes him cry bucky tears them a new one.

+

you guys know what i've never seen before but always wantedto? a fic where Tony is a really sensitive person. he's really easy to hurt -he gets hurt by ppl's words on daily basis. because really, he just wants to beloved and to feel safe. but the Avengers seem to think that Tony doesn't havefeelings, so they joke at his expanse a lot, cause it doesn't hurt him, doesit? and then Bucky finds Tony crying, sobbing really, because he just feels solonely and unwanted in his own house. +hugs pls

----

"What do you think, Buck? Do you want to come?"

Bucky grunted something into his coffee. Had he been moreawake and willing to speak, he would've translated the grunt as "it's only7am in the morning and all of you fuckers are being too loud and so help me godif you don't shut the fuck up I'm going to throw you all out the nearestwindow". Clearly, Steve's translation abilities needed work because heturned to the Sam and Clint with a grin.

"He's in. When do you want to leave?"

"Leave for where?" Tony asked, shuffling into theroom behind them. Typically Tony Stark did not appear at this time of the dayunless he was surfacing from a bender in the workshop. Today, though, he wasfully dressed in a bespoke, dark grey suit that fit him like a glove, completewith a deep red tie. Bucky choked a little on his coffee.

"To the baseball game," Steve said, thumping Buckyon the back. "Dodgers versus the Yankees."

"Oh, I remember hearing about that," Tony said,grabbing the coffeepot.

"Do you want to come?" Steve asked. There was justthe slightest pause before he asked, a tiny hint of second-guessing that Tonyclearly noticed, judging by the newfound tension in Tony's shoulders.

"Are you kidding, Cap?" Clint said before Tony couldanswer. "You know what happens when you hang around Stark. You end up injail." He was smiling, sort of, but his voice lacked any humor.

Steve frowned at him. "Clint."

"I wouldn't want to cramp your style," Tony said,turning around and holding his mug protectively against his chest."Besides, I have a full day of meetings to attend to. Unlike the rest ofyou slackers, I actually have a job. Multiple jobs, if we're beinghonest."

"I didn't know you knew what that word meant," Clintsaid. "Did Pepper buy you a dictionary for your birthday?"

It was a low shot and they all knew it; Pepper had been atopic that was off-limits from the moment the Avengers moved back into thetower and Natasha made the mistake of remarking upon her absence. Back then,Tony had muttered something about Pepper and Malibu and disappeared for threedays. Now, Tony's face froze in this weird, bland expression and he walked outof the kitchen without another word.

"Clint, what the fuck," Sam said.

Clint shrugged. "He's an asshole.”

"He didn't even say anything!" Steve said,exasperated. "We're never going to get along at this rate."

"Maybe we're not supposed to. Did you ever think aboutthat?" Clint shot back.

Bucky stood up from the table and left the room. He was sickof hearing the same old argument being rehashed over and over again. Sometimesthat was hands down the worst part of being in Avengers Tower. He liked theteam for the most part, but at 7:10am it was asking too much of anyone tolisten to Clint and Steve squabble at each other like a couple offive-year-olds. He stood at the windows in the living room for a few minutes,drinking his coffee, and then took the elevator down to the parking garage.

He was contemplating either a walk or taking a bike down tothe nearest Starbucks to find more caffeine when he spotted him. Tony. Buckystopped short, not wanting to be noticed during what was clearly a privatemoment. Tony was sitting in one of his cars, staring through the windshield.The car was off and he obviously hadn't realized Bucky was, because he was crying.

Tony Stark was crying.

Bucky stared dumbly, shocked. Admittedly, he'd only known Tonyfor about six months. But in that time, he'd never once seen the guy cry. Noteven when a villain showed up with an EMP that took the Iron Man suit out ofthe sky with one push of the button. Iron Man had hit the ground so hard thatTony was left with broken ribs, a broken right wrist, and so many bruises thathis skin looked more purple and black than tanned for weeks. Even though thepain had to have been bad, Tony didn't cry.

Yet here he was, sitting in the driver’s seat, both hands onthe steering wheel. Bucky could see the tears on his face clear as day. Andunless something terrible had happened in the past - he checked his watchinstinctively - ten minutes, it had to be because of Clint's comments. Unlikelyas it seemed, either the jab about jail or Pepper or both had set Tony off tothe point of tears.

There wasn't really much time for Bucky to decide what to do. Bythe time he got over his shock, Tony was wiping his face and sliding hissunglasses on and starting the car. He backed out of the space and then droveoff, none the wiser that he'd been seen during what was certainly a privatemoment. Bucky stared after him, still speechless.

What the hell had he just witnessed?

As he got on the bike, because he desperately needed morecoffee after that, he told himself to brush it off as a weird, awkward thingthat Tony was never to know about. For all Bucky knew, maybe Tony really hadgotten some terrible news in those ten minutes.

But.

For seventy-some years, Bucky had been trained as an assassin.It had taken him weeks to actively stop searching every room he walked into, orto stop eyeing up his teammates like they were going to attack him. He stillcouldn’t stop himself from sweeping a scene and noticing the smallest details,but his therapist was teaching him ways to filter what was important and whatwasn’t.

Apparently, his brain now deemed Tony important. Because Buckywas noticing that every single time someone made a smart or sarcastic remark –usually Clint or Wanda, though admittedly Wanda’s jabs tended to be more openlycruel – or a joke about or towards Tony, Tony would freeze. His face wouldflicker, like a bad video connection, before smoothing out. He’d say somethingback and then, every time, he’d find some reason to quickly leave the room.

Bucky only followed him once. It was a miracle FRIDAY didn’tinform Tony that he was there. But maybe FRIDAY understood how mortified Tonywould be if he knew Bucky had seen him crying twice.

The whole situation was starting to piss Bucky off. Admittedlyhe’d gone out of his way to not draw attention to himself in regards to Tonybefore this, but the guy was the whole reason that Steve, Bucky, Wanda, Clint,Sam and Scott had been welcomed back in the U.S. without being sent immediatelyto jail. He’d given Bucky the technology to get his own mind back from Hydra.He supplied them all with food, gadgets, and shelter and never asked anythingin return, not even that the rest of his team be polite to him.

So the next time that Wanda made some comment about how goodTony was at killing people after a mission, Bucky turned to her and snarled,“You’re pretty good at hypocrisy” before he’d really stopped to think about it.

Wanda stared at him. So did Steve. And Tony, for that matter,the faceplate of the armor snapping up. Bucky didn’t care. He was fucking sickof this, and he didn’t care that his therapist would have a field day with hisprotective reaction towards a guy that Bucky barely knew but was starting towant to know pretty badly.

“Back off,” Bucky said in a low voice. “Both of you.” He cuthis eyes towards Clint, who stepped back in surprise. “I’ve had it with yourpetty comments and sarcastic jabs. You might think you’re being clever, butyou’re not. You don’t have to like Tony, but youdo have to respect him if you want to keep taking advantageof everything he offers.”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” Wanda said,bristling. Her fingers glowed with red sparks.

Bucky squared his shoulders, noticing how Tony stiffened up,perceptible even through the armor, when Wanda’s powers made an appearance.That just pissed him off more, because there was no doubt in his mind thatWanda was doing it on purpose. And actually, Tony's reaction was somethingBucky could 100% appreciate. He didn’t like the thought of anyone having the powerto mess with his head, especially someone who had once been aligned with Hydra.

“I’m making it my business,” Bucky said calmly. “Knock itoff.” He could’ve been cruel and asked if her ma had ever taught her manners,but unlike Wanda, Bucky did have manners. He swallowed the comment before itcould escape and added, “This has been going on for months and I’m tired of it.You both seem to think this is some kind of free-for-all. It ain’t. If beingaround Tony makes you so uncomfortable, you’re free to leave.”

“I’m not leaving!” Wanda said. “I’m part of the team.”

“Then start acting like it. You all agreed you would try tomake this work, but the only person who seems to be trying here is Tony.Frankly, if you’d made even a quarter of the same shitty comments you keepmaking to him to me, I’d have kicked you out on your ass a long time ago.” Hecould feel Tony staring at him, but Bucky didn’t take his eyes off Wanda. “Ifyou can’t at least be cordial, you shouldn’t be here.”

“You can’t – Steve.” She turned towards Steve, but Steve wasalready shaking his head.

“Bucky’s right, Wanda. And that includes you too, Clint.”

“I didn’t say anything!” Clint protested.

“This time,” Bucky said. “But you’ve said plenty. I’m prettysure every third word outta your mouth is jail.”

“Clint,” Natasha said, when Clint would’ve protested again.“Don’t. He’s right.”

“I’m just sayin’,” Bucky said. “This is your warning. Nexttime you say something, I’m gonna saysomething. And if you really piss me off, I might dosomething.” He smiled at Wanda, and he knew it was the kind of smile that theWinter Soldier had possessed, deadly and cold. He didn’t have to elaborate; itwas better to let her brain fill in all the details.

“Bucky,” Steve said, but it was half-hearted at best, andBucky brushed it off in favor of turning to Tony.

“Can I get a ride, doll?” he asked.

“Uh, sure?” Tony said. He didn’t sound all that sure, but hedidn’t pull away when Bucky stepped towards him. Bucky slung his metal arm –built by Tony, of all people, and how had Bucky been so stupid for so long? –around the armor’s neck and felt one of Tony’s arms wrap around his waist. Hisstomach swooped as the repulsors kicked in, lifting them a good hundred feetoff the ground in seconds.

The flight was much shorter than Bucky would’ve liked; theywere back at the tower within ten minutes. He stepped aside as the robotsremoved the suit, leaving just Tony standing there. Just Tony, in a muscleshirt and ill-fitting jeans, arms wrapped around his stomach, not looking atBucky. There was a bruise around his right eye and a scratch down his left cheekand he was sweaty with exertion, and Bucky felt – not justaffection, but something he hadn’t felt for a long time, and he thought… huh.

Just… huh.

“Why did you do that?” Tony asked quietly.

“I call it like I see it,” Bucky said. “They were beingassholes.” And you’re tired, he didn’t say. But it was true. Tony looked tiredevery damn day, like he was barely holding himself up sometimes. He’d beenthrough enough, even if no one else was willing to see it.

“They didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.”

Which… yeah, that was a problem, but Bucky decided now wasn’tthe time. He just looked at Tony and said, “I disagree. You seem like a decentperson. You have reason to hate me more than anyone, but you don’t. If you canbe polite to me, then she should be able to be polite to you.”

“It’s not the same thing,” Tony said.

“I think it’s exactly the same thing,” Bucky said. He didn’twant to lay it all out, because that would mean bringing up the fact that he'dkilled Tony's parents whereas Tony had, at best, indirectly killed Wanda's, butthat was also the truth. “And maybe you don’t think you’re worth standing upfor, but I do.”

Tony just stared at him. Bucky took a chance. He edged incloser and, when Tony again failed to pull away, tentatively wrapped his flesharm around Tony’s shoulders and pulled him in. Tony came easily enough,standing stiff against Bucky as Bucky hugged him. Bucky didn’t care. It wasoccurring to him that he’d been waiting for the chance to do this since thefirst time he’d seen Tony cry.

It took a long time before Tony slowly hugged him back, handssnaking around to Bucky’s back like he thought Bucky might change his mind andleap away in disgust. Bucky took that as permission to tighten his grip. Tonywas warm and surprisingly solid for all that he was too thin, and he was relaxingin all the right places, molding to Bucky’s body, andBucky dared to rest his cheek on Tony’s head.

His therapist was going to be so proud.

~SailorChibi

[itissadbutitsmy-life]

you know what who cares about clarity? have an incoherent ramble about pb, how she treats lemonhope, a couple parts about lemongrab, and proof that phlannel boxingday is the best Dad™ in the entirety of adventure time below the cut

I would die for phlannel boxingday he's so good for lh he is the Best father in the entire series and I almost cRied about it

there's a lot of shitty dads in advtime and a lot of dads that could do better but aren't like malevolent, and there's also phlannel, the best damn guy with the kindest fucking heart in the entire show, and he kills giant sentient birds for a living

Listen h

Wait am I about to cry rant about the one off character again

Yeah here goes he was so good he. I mean. I mean. He's so patient and understanding and gentle and lh nEEDS that h he was fucking broken up in his home and then pb spirited him away and put the fate of his entire family on his shoulders and treated him like he was Very Smart And The Chosen One But Would You Just Fucking TRY. and phlannel grabs him away and goes look. you're a good kid. and maybe you can save your family. but you can't beat yourself up over it, you can't put all that weight on your shoulders. you are able to go save them if you want but you are one of many champions in this world, and someone else will do it if you can't. and until then I'm going to keep you fed and clothed and be a person you can come to with anything, because I have no ulterior motives. I really literally don't. 

and every t ime he talks to him he talks low and gentle, he points things out like how he IS a smart kid he REALLY is he just learns differently, he doesn't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do like every other adult figure in his life has up to this point. he knows he has nightmares so obviously lh feels safe enough w him to talk to him about things like that, or he just pays attention and like. knows he keeps waking up screaming and instead of going "ha that's fine," he goes "kids shouldn't be waking up screaming so I'm going to keep an eye on it," he picks up on lh's concerns and gently tells him it isn't his fault when he drops things,

Like ok here's my thing. I know first impression pb is rly nice, yadda yadda I wrote a whole thing (didn’t post it tho lmao) abt how the Ugly Candy People seem to be the worse off ones and that might be her doing if it isn't just coincidence, and I don't feel like getting into that. but . here's my thing abt the lemonhope two parter and pb

Like first off I'm still pissed she put him in a Special School like. how transparent can you be. she's playing favorites and she's raising him for a specific purpose of being a champion. but it's not like, extracurricular champion school, bc she's clearly trying to also teach finn geometry. or maybe she's just. 

Idk but it seems really fucjibg phony. like. just set him up in a school where he can socialize and learn in an environment structured for teaching and socializing. I know lemon ppl don't Get Along With Others but like. singling him out is just. mmmmm don't like that

Anyways so that's one thing but like. she seems to be such! a nice and understanding lady right? she's soft and sweet and she's dangerous when she needs to be, but like. I know we all know she's kind of a dick and she monitors everyone in her kingdom closely to the point of creepiness, etc etc we know. but like. u know what really gets me in the lh two parter is just. how ......inconsiderate? she is maybe? 

like . yeah she wants to fix what went wrong (lg’s cannibalism and like tyranny etc). she can't or won't do it herself ('can't' meaning she's legally not allowed to, but what the fuck is lg gonna do to her? she can destroy him with a fucking flick of her wrist and literally the only person gaining anything from him locking up his kingdom on every legal level possible is himself if that, and we all know his earldom is quite literally overpopulated.So she has nothing but principle stopping her from barging in and demanding he stop, to protect all the other citizens he's hurting. He'll do anything she asks. like maybe once it got bad he wouldn't, maybe he started to realize she never cared about him and she never would, but honestly even if he did start to realize that, if she fucking walked in the door and said she needs to talk he'd be putty in her fingers. he'd listen and do everything she asks of him, and none of the lemon people are gonna fuvkinh stop her. they either know to fear her from lg or stories or experience, or they just know she's their boss's boss, so to speak, and would deliver her right to lg or just let her pass. Right? unless lg has them on orders to like. kill on sight or something. but those poor kids aren't any match for pb and pb's no idiot, she'd take backup or she'd straight up murder them. there's literally no reason for her to not go. she's gonna respect politics now? NOW? She's a fucjibg monolith and she does whatever the fuck she wants no matter what kingdom she's walking into, and now that her son is hurting every single person he's ever loved, NOW she decides she Can't Just Interfere? Fuck you) but uh since she can't/won't do it herself she needs lh to. ok. fine. But like. over and over she repeatedly treats him poorly, like...... like yeah ok she isn't Being Mean but. idk. you take a scared little kid out of his abusive family, then you repeatedly make him see what his siblings are going through now that he's gone, and tell him over and over that it's up to him to make them stop being hurt?

The lemon people are all just babies ? like ok they're not BABIES they're their own ppl but . but they're. so young of COURSE they believe what pb said and what lg2 said, that lh needs to come back for them; HE got away, so so can they, and he's gonna be the one to do it. They're poetic and tragic like the fire kingdom, but grittier and less pretty and performative. of course they'd latch onto the only hero they were given.

but like. to lh it was probably more like. this lady came and took me away from my family so they'd stop hurting me, but she left all my siblings behind, and now she's telling me I have to be the one to save them? lmao no you do it yourself. you did it once you can do it again.

so uh

so lh's adult interaction so far seems to have been like. 

wait was he one of the ones they made originally or is he a second gen lemon person/ someone lg2 made with lollipops like in that one fanfic 

assuming he was in the FIRST BATCH because I'm mean I guess, his adult interaction has been two people who adore me with all their hearts but can't figure out how to feed me-> probably some affection in here somewhere bc he had to get that harp from someplace -> guy who fucking electrocutes us and other guy who's too scared to stop him -> oh shit what the fuck -> lady who got me out of that situation but won't save my siblings and keeps pretending I'm someone I'm not

u know what, I think that's her whole problem

she made lg to be her heir, that's good, but he didn't act how she expected and she couldn't figure out how to support him, so she sent him away (much as I like to say she did it bc like. neddy was antisocial and scared of ppl too and he was ok if he was kept alone so maybe that was all lg wanted too,,,,, like there was still no reason to throw him at the very fucking edge of ooo aight. get him a house in the grasslands or something.). she tried to help him, realized she was making it worse and actually hurting him, so she tried to help again and it worked, bc all lg wanted was to be loved and not to be told over and over (symbolically) that he was REALLY unwanted, but still begrudgingly needed bc he's the only heir to the throne. so getting a friend who wouldn't hate him for who he was was all he wanted. so she did good and kinda let it be for a while. 

but he also really wanted his mothers love, and he tried to act like her so she'd appreciate him or even notice him. so he makes kids for her, he realizes this makes him and his brother happy (HAPPY), and can't stop doing it because he's alone with his brother and their newborn children and no one's telling them to stop. she fixes it, she lets it be.

He's still unwanted. she still hates him. she hates ppl who don't act how she wants them to. she HATES the duke of nuts whose only crime is eating her pudding (possible she hates him bc he's just So Good And Kind, too, and it's fishy), she clearly doesn't treat all her citizens equally (do you see how trashed some of the backstreets are? I mean maybe people are just smashing them faster than she can fix them, but like. I don't know. I don't feel good about it.), she won't fucking talk to the literal heir to her throne (i don’t thiiink he’s been replaced yet?) except when he makes a mess and needs someone to help him fix it. and then she does it as minimally as possible. she sends fnj to fix it or smth. she just. Really wants nothing to do with her failures I guess. maybe that's it. he woke up screaming and needing things other candy people don't need, and she called him her own personal failing. maybe she feels like she let him down by not making him so he could be happy in her kingdom. maybe she blames herself but instead of working with him and supporting him, she gives him anything he asks for and otherwise avoids contact with him like the plague. 

Anyways so what she wanted was a cute, competent candy person to take her throne right? and she goes to his kingdom and she wanders around and like. no one here is her kind of normal. they're all ugly and deformed and squawky and everything's yellow. and to lg and lg everything is BEAUTIFUL, those are their beloved babies that they risked their lives to have, but she doesn't know that, she just knows that MAN those lgs are weird, and when I try to help them, they get mad and lash out at me.

by her first failed experiment she means the first one that made her feel like she was capable of making mistakes that ruin lives. like even if we call that one comic canon, with that Sweet Pink Goop she made before lg, that goop didn’t seem sentient, let alone capable of feeling the consequences of being alive and different from the other candy people

she looks around and she tries to figure out what she doesn't understand. right? in too old. like maybe getting away from them and looking around their house will give her insight into why her heir won't just act like her, won't just be normal and quiet and do what she expects people to do, why she can't figure out how to help him without making him angry (and scared and hurt), figure out what it is HE expects, because he's a person too.

And she finds someone who ISN'T deformed or ugly or weird, she finds someone who honestly wouldn't be out of place (looks wise) in her candy kingdom. and he's bemoaning his unfair treatment and he's dressed in rags and he's alone and he's young and he's talented. 

And he's what she meant to make in the first place. Someone soft and cute, but with whatever traits she'd been looking for in an heir, presumably. someone who can rule a kingdom decently in her place, even better than her, i have my own hcs about that lmao. he’s someone who doesn't flinch when she touches his shoulder, who doesn't have such a cold stare, or such a shrill and uninviting voice. he's small and he's young and he's soft and he's talented and he's being mistreated

and like. she saw other kids getting publicly electrocuted and she saw lg hitting his brother and she saw the fucking evidence of really violent mistreatment, and she went ":/" until she saw someone who she could sympathize with.

and lh isn't who she thinks he is. He's a lemon person, he's Lemongrab's son (or... grandson or like. nephew. I don't know. young relative or like juvenile member of his species.) he's not a candy person, but he looks like one. he's symmetrical and visually healthy. so she gets maternal and concerned, because now it doesn't look like lg's hurting people she doesn't want to even look at let alone worry about (asshole). now to her it looks like he's neglecting and harming a young kid. And they're all young kids, they're all pretty new, they're all people and they're all being hurt. but she can't bring herself to care what he does so long as he’s hurting people she doesn’t care about, that's his business; when she gets involved he threatens to kill her or he upsets her people or whatever. but when she sees someone who looks like a person, who looks like a person of hers, who looks like a kid and who looks like a healthy kid being abused (chubby and healthy but tattered and shock collared and locked in a bathroom, as opposed to like. another lemon person walking around in nice clothes and a shock collar) she gets him out

and she plays on his feelings, she goes, you're the kid I always expected to raise. you're the kid I was supposed to raise to become a shining champion of my kingdom. I made lg, and he turned out wrong and I dropped him as far off the face of the earth as I could, and now I have Finn to be my champion. but you, you need to be great, still. you need to be my shining star. You need to go back and do what lg2 told you to do in his Fuvking Dying Breaths, because like, suddenly me and him are on the same page I guess. 

I don't super blame lg2 for putting all that on lh's shoulders tbh. He's not much older than the kids, really, and like I said, they're all poetic and tragic. and lg2 was getting eaten too so like can you really blame him for anything at that pt. he doesn't know pb really, all his interactions with her were probably Not Bad but lg hates her and would also do anything for her so lg2 probably hates her a little by association. You're the one who hurt my brother and hurt him and hurt him and hurt him, why should I trust you to come get my children away from a dangerous situation? how do I even know if you consider this a dangerous situation? glob for all he knows she electrocutes her people too when they don't please her. for all he knows this is normal.

actually no I give him more credit than that. he might not know if pb considers it normal or not but the fact that lg fucking destroys his spirit when just months ago he was telling him he was the best thing in his entire life, yeah, he knows hurting your kids isn't normal, he knows hurting your life partner isn't normal, he knows maybe how lg came to this conclusion, but he won't tolerate it if he can help it

Anyways I love him?

so in conclusion pb treats lh like he's a candy person when he's NOT, and phlannel boxingday is the absolute purest most wholesome character to ever walk into that fucjibg TV series and he's the only one who treats lh the way he needs to be treated - like a person, like a smart person, like a person who's been abused and been put on a pedestal, like a person with his own needs and experiences that are different from maybe what you'd expect or wish. That's my conclusion. It's 11 fucking pm I need my dam slEEP

real quick summary bc I think I see where I was trying to go with this long ramble: pb's inconsiderate in that she treats him like a gifted candy person, not a gifted lemon person, let alone just a scared little kid who's been really neglected and abused. she at least seems to just kinda ignore the whole thing where he gets defensive and... grabby? idk bc he grew up in a house where he was hungry and ignored and hurt

idk

you give a kid who was raised in a house where he's always hungry and competing with his siblings for food two cupcakes do you really think he's going to share them

especially when it's very clear that you have many cupcakes

do you really think so

also just. if we go w saying a LOT of lg's quirks come from him parroting how pb treated him, idk she just. doesn't do a great job of not treating lh the same way. sure she apologizes when she calls him unacceptable but still I get the feeling she treats him more like lg did than she'd like to think.