#and I don’t want to make the wall lighter for the same reason

[james-bucky-barnackle]

I mean?

Synopsis: On a press tour with your co-star Sebastian Stan, the interviewer asks you a question about another film he did and the answer surprises him.

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Actress!Y/N

Word Count: IDK I'm too sleep deprived to count.

A/N: Bro I am on a resurgence. Might just fuck around and continue writing more fanfics or whatever.

It’s another busy day promoting your new movie with Sebastian, The Road Trip. It's a funny romcom about two best friends going on a long trip to see another friend who your character is dating. Interestingly enough, the guy who plays him is Chris Evans. The interviews are currently being done in pairs, and you're with Sebastian.

You've always been candid, speaking your mind without feeling shy. Deep down, you're a bit of a pessimist, accepting things as they are. When you first heard from your agent that you were cast in The Road Trip alongside Sebastian Stan and Chris Evans, you laughed hysterically. The idea that you, an unconventional beauty, were chosen to be on screen with those two seemed surreal. You never really think about dating co-stars, which helps with acting in general. The media is impressed with how chill you are around A-list actors, and even though it hasn’t fully sunk in yet, the industry has started promoting you to that list.

The interview has been going on for about 15 minutes when another journalist joins, mostly asking about the experience of working with the cast.

“It’s my first romcom, can you believe it?” you say.

“First?!” Sebastian stares in mock disbelief.

“I know, right?!” You feign surprise.

The interviewer continues, “How does it feel to do something lighter and a bit comedic for once?”

“You mean, a movie where no one dies?” Sebastian covers his mouth at your response.

“I mean essentially,” the interviewer laughs. “Wait, no one dies?!” They nudge you playfully.

“I mean, I’m not sure, no spoilers,” you say, breaking the fourth wall and looking into the camera. Sebastian cackles. “It’s definitely refreshing. It feels like going to school for some reason. Like I don’t want to miss a class just because I might miss something wild happening.”

“What?” Sebastian glares. “What school did you go to?”

“I mean, aside from the learning stuff…” You grimace. “It’s fun, honestly. I’d love to do more romcoms. It’s very down-to-earth and just resonates with you so much. I don’t wanna get too cheesy, but I’m such a hopeless romantic—this is my jam.”

“Sebastian, how’s your experience working with Chris again, this time outside of the Marvel universe?”

“Wait, this isn’t in the Marvel Universe?!” you butt in. Sebastian again, fakes a loud gasp. You two laugh. This interview feels like it’s going nowhere.

“It’s totally fun, as Y/N mentioned—it really is like going to class. But most of my scenes are with Y/N, so she’s like the lab partner I’ve never had. Chris was always texting us, checking which location we’re going to be at, making sure we’re scheduled on the same day. It’s fun when we’re both on set.”

You nod in agreement. “Yeah, we’ve got a good rhythm going. It’s like having a little family on set. Plus, Chris is always the one who brings snacks, so that’s a bonus.”

Sebastian laughs. “Oh, absolutely. Chris and his endless supply of trail mix.”

The interviewer chuckles. “Sounds like you all have a great dynamic. Was there a favorite scene you both enjoyed filming together?”

You think for a moment. “I really loved the scene where we’re stuck in the car during that rainstorm. It was so chaotic, but we had a blast improvising and just playing off each other.”

Sebastian nods. “Yeah, that was a good one. The rain machine was going full blast, and we were just trying not to crack up the entire time.”

The interviewer smiles. “It sounds like it was a lot of fun. And the chemistry definitely shows on screen. Speaking of different roles, Y/N, Sebastian’s been in the movie Fresh where he plays a sociopathic killer who preys on lonely women pretending to be a genuine guy.”

“I don’t like where this is going,” you say, laughing, as Sebastian shakes his head.

“Would you, like Noa, fall prey to Steve’s antics?” This question gets a louder laugh from Sebastian as your face shows pure shock. You hold him back with your hand and say,

“I’ve thought about this, to be honest,” you start, looking at Sebastian as he raises his eyebrows, impressed.

“Oh, you have?”

You laugh and continue, patting his thigh and looking back at the interviewer. “Me and my friend talked about it a while back. And it’s frightening because I would’ve probably ended up on a chopping block.”

“Noooo!” Sebastian shouts, “I was rooting for you.”

“No! But, like, you are incredibly good-looking and charismatic. It would be hard not to give my number at the grocery aisle.”

He tilts his head at your response. “Surely not good enough to get yourself killed?!”

“You’d be surprised how far I’d even go,” you say, as the interviewer laughs with you both. “Oh god, I need to call my therapist,” you add, ending the topic with the three of you gagging.

“Might just have to talk to mine too, after hearing that.”

You can already feel TikTok saving this clip and turning it into a meme.

You notice, after you call Sebastian good-looking, he’s been eyeing you sideways and biting his lip. As if he’s suddenly gone bashful. You can’t help but feel a boost in your ego. Could it be that Stan is shy? You make it a point to tease him for the remainder of the interview.

“What’s something funny or unexpected that happened on set?”

“Oh, there were so many moments,” you start. “One time, we were filming this really serious scene, and out of nowhere, a bird flew into the set and landed right on Sebastian’s shoulder.”

Sebastian laughs. “Yeah, I had no idea what to do. I just froze, and then Y/N started making bird noises to try and get it to fly away.”

You laugh, nodding. “It took a good ten minutes to get back into character after that. Everyone was cracking up.”

The interviewer grins. “That sounds hilarious. It’s great to hear that you all had such a good time. Speaking of moments on set, were there any funny or awkward moments while filming the more romantic or intimate scenes?”

Sebastian raises an eyebrow, smirking. “Oh, plenty. Like the time we were shooting that kiss scene in the rain, and Y/N kept slipping on the wet pavement.”

You roll your eyes playfully. “Hey, it was slippery! You were the one who can’t stop laughing during takes.”

Sebastian laughs. “True, true. But come on, we both know it was because you were so nervous about kissing me.” You notice him biting back.

You gasp in mock offense. “Excuse me, I was not nervous! I was just...distracted by how ridiculously good-looking you are. It’s hard to concentrate when you have that face right in front of you.” He smiles uncontrollably again, feeling defeated by your nonchalance. He wonders, how are you so good at this?

The interviewer laughs, clearly enjoying the banter. “So, who do you think had the hardest time keeping a straight face during those scenes?”

You both point at each other simultaneously, then laugh.

Sebastian leans back, shaking his head. “Definitely Y/N. There was this one scene where we were supposed to be having this deep, romantic conversation, and she just couldn’t stop giggling.”

You nudge him playfully. “Well, you weren’t helping with all your ad-libs! You kept whispering things like, ‘Is that your stomach growling or are you just happy to see me?’”

Sebastian laughs. “Hey, I was trying to lighten the mood! And let’s not forget the scene where we had to stare into each other’s eyes for what felt like an eternity. I swear, Y/N, you blink more than anyone I know.”

You smirk. “Only because I was trying to avoid getting lost in those baby blues of yours.” At this point, Sebastian was laughing hard, but feeling nervous at your jokes. He secretly wished it were all real, his ears were red and hot. He’s already thinking of how to approach you after the interview and get himself out of the friend zone which he didn’t even thought he’d be in, having found a new interest in you. 

The interviewer looks between the two of you, amused. “It sounds like you both had a lot of fun with it. Do you think all that chemistry will translate to the screen?”

Sebastian nods. “Oh, definitely. I think our off-screen dynamic really helped make the on-screen relationship feel more genuine. Plus, Y/N here is an amazing actress. She made it easy.”

You smile, feeling a bit bashful. “Well, Sebastian’s not too bad himself. It’s hard not to enjoy working with someone who’s so talented and, let’s be honest, ridiculously attractive.” 

Here she goes again .Sebastian grins. “Right back at you. But let’s be real, we’re both just incredibly good-looking people trying to make a movie here.” The internet is gonna have a field day.

The interviewer laughs. “Sounds like a tough job! Any last funny or romantic moments you’d like to share?”

You think for a moment. “There was this one scene where we had to dance together. Neither of us are professional dancers, so there were a lot of missteps and toe-stepping. But it ended up being one of the sweetest scenes because it felt so real and unpolished.”

Sebastian nods. “Yeah, that was a great scene. It was supposed to be this perfectly choreographed dance, but it turned into us just goofing around and having fun. I think it really captured the essence of our characters' relationship.”

The interviewer smiles, clearly delighted by your stories. “Well, thank you both for sharing these wonderful moments. It’s been a pleasure talking with you.”

As you and Sebastian leave the interview room, you head towards the lobby where a few other cast members are mingling. The energy is still high from the fun and laughter of the interview. Sebastian nudges you playfully as you walk.

“Hey, remember in the interview when you called me incredibly good-looking and charismatic?” he teases, a mischievous glint in his eye.

You roll your eyes, grinning. “Oh, come on. Don’t let it go to your head, Stan.”

He chuckles. “Too late. I’m pretty sure I’m going to bring that up every chance I get now.”

“You would,” you laugh, shaking your head. “ It’s not like I was lying.”

Sebastian stops walking, turning to face you. “Well, thank you. And for the record, you’re pretty incredible yourself. Both on screen and off.”

You feel a warm blush creeping up your cheeks, putting a palm to your chest as if to continue the gag. “Thanks, Seb. That means a lot.”

He smiles, his eyes softening. “No, really, it’s been really great working with you. I think we make a pretty good team.”

“I think so too,” you agree, feeling a flutter in your stomach, you realize he’s actually serious now. There’s a moment of silence as you both just look at each other, the playful teasing from earlier now replaced with something more tender.

Sebastian breaks the silence first. “So, what do you say we celebrate wrapping up the promotion tour? Maybe dinner tonight?”

You raise an eyebrow, teasingly. “Is this your way of asking me out, Stan?”

He grins, a little sheepishly. “Maybe it is. What do you think?”

You pretend to think about it for a moment, then nod. “I think it sounds like a great idea.”

“Perfect,” he says, looking genuinely pleased. “I’ll pick you up at eight?”

“Eight it is."

Check my other stuff out too? | M A S T E R L I S T

Feedback, likes and reblogs are appreciated!!!

HMU WITH AN ASK IF U WANNA GET TAGGED

Permanent taglist!!! @gracielou0518 / @memory-of-a-goldfish / @thatbitchsaidhi / @xxashy999xx / @queenlouisa2001 / @shliic / @speggehi / @blackdaisybitch / @tuliptx / @m-a-t-91 / @milkshakeslou-blog / @fireboltrose7559 / @justmesadgirl / @makloveswritingofficial-blog / @cocacola-cocaine / @impalatobakerstreet / @laochbaineann / @justakpopfan4 / @kiramotherofsnails / @yknott81 / @heartssick / @thisismysecrethappyplace / @oldwhalien / @padackles2010 / @lolabean1998 / @ayee-style

[vitaminkyeom]

[23:57]

PAIRING || Jihoon x Female Reader

GENRES || Enemies To Lovers AU

WARNINGS || smoking, drinking, clubbing

WORD COUNT || 1.1k

A/N || based on this request! OKAY SO LISTEN. IK this wasnt a part of your req BUT I DIDN'T REALISE YOU WERE JOKING AND I HAD ALREADY DONE THIS COVER AND IT LOOKED TOO GOOD. so just enjoy it ig? TT 1k followers event [if you want to be added to the event taglist send an ask!]

TAGLIST || @prpldahy @yoonzinokim @sea-moon-star @hanicore @alyssng @weebotakuboy @aaniag @thepoopdokyeomtouched @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @hrts4hanniehae @mnstxmnbb @athanasiasakura @doubleshoticedshakenespresso @asasilentreader @isabellah29 @mrswonwooo @nonononranghaee @luv-uriboo @hoichi-02 [if you want to be added to my taglist, fill in this form!]

“funny seeing you here.”

lee jihoon snapped his head towards the voice, his scowl deepening when he realised who it was. even outside college your demeanour wasn’t any different, making him feel even more irritated than usual.

you still had that stupid smirk on your face, your know-it-all eyes glancing up and down as though you were checking him out. even now jihoon felt like you were judging him, studying him as though he was another of your problem statements to be solved. 

“i don’t think there’s any rule saying i can’t be here?” he replied, narrowing his eyes at you. you just shrugged, pulling out a lighter and a small box from your pocket. placing the cigarette between your lips you lit it, before offering one to him.

he just glared at you and stepped back, practising the breathing exercises seokmin had taught him to use whenever he was in your vicinity. as it was being dragged to a sweaty loud club despite his protests had made him prickly, and the last thing he needed was someone blowing smoke right on his face. 

“no, what i mean is,” you continued before taking a drag of smoke. then, you smiled at him, as though you were about to share your secret to success, “i didn’t know the president of the music club liked clubbing.”

“well i didn’t know the president of the maths club liked smoking.” 

you opened your mouth to retort back but closed it, choosing to just lean against the wall nonchalantly instead. 

“mary cartwright did.” you said after a few seconds. not sure what you were talking about, jihoon just raised his eyebrows at you. you lifted your hand that now held the cigarette. “smoking. she smoked. she was a mathematician. had made a significant contribution in chaos theory.”

jihoon had no idea what chaos theory was but he was mildly amused by your statement. he found himself leaning back against the wall along with you. he had anyways come here tonight to have ‘fun’, so why not continue talking to you?

“guess it's hard keeping up the good girl image all the time, huh?” he joked, realising you had a faint smell of alcohol lingering on you. 

“not for you apparently.” you laughed. “because you clearly hate clubs. and from what i’ve heard at parties, you don’t drink much either.”

jihoon shrugged, not sure how to respond to that. he just had never wanted to do those things and for some reason it had never been hard for him to abstain from these. maybe his morales were black and white but at least he was getting by them.

“i just don’t like the smell of alcohol. or the splitting headache that follows it. same goes for smoking. and for clubbing, i hate loud music.”

“says the music major.”

“there’s a difference between what they play and what i play.” 

“yeah,  i guess for a skilled musician like you it would sound like crap. you play great by the way.”

you laughed at his surprised face again. he couldn’t recall a time when you might have heard him play. the two of you really considered each other’s territories as enemy grounds so jihoon highly doubted you came to any of his recitals. 

“what? i’ve come to many of your recitals.”

okay, maybe he was wrong.

“besides, you know music and maths are the universal languages.” you smiled at him as you said that and jihoon suddenly felt his stomach somersault.

what was that?

why did his stomach jump like that? no way it was because of your…smile, was it? sure you looked good he supposed, in that dress and boots, nonchalantly smoking your cigarette but you were still his enemy. or…as enemy as college club presidents could get.

“so why are you here?” you asked, looking at him once again.

god, you never stopped talking, did you? 

another reason jihoon hated you was because of your chatterbox nature. you reminded him too much of soonyoung. always talking, too much energy, and he was the opposite of it. but right now for some reason, he was glad that you were doing all the talking. any other day he would have walked away from you but right now he felt glad for your company, probably because he was looking forward to hanging out with his friends; except that they had taken him clubbing instead. 

“does it look like i voluntarily signed up?” 

“well…i suppose not.”

“my friends dragged me here.” he continued. “but i got irritated in there so i got up and left.”

“understandable.” you nodded, pursing your lips as though you understood him. “i came with my friends too. but unfortunately their boyfriends tagged along too so now they’ve ditched me.”

“so guess we’re stuck here together.” he commented.

“you don’t look like you’re happy to be stuck here with me.” you smirked. by now jihoon could swear it was the alcohol in his system (though he could swear he had very, very little) that was making him think this way. 

because from when did he begin to think that your smirk was attractive?

“i could say the same for you.”

“not at all.” you said, throwing jihoon off. “if anything i enjoy hanging out with a man who looks this hot in pink.”

he frowned at your statement, looking down. “i’m not wearing pink-” he groaned when he looked at his outfit, realising that you were right. but not because he was wearing anything pink but because the neon lights of the club were bathing him in pink currently.

“hey, pink is a great colour!” you defended. “it’s my favourite colour!”

oh? that would explain why the majority of your items were pink. not that jihoon was keeping a track of it or something.

“what’s yours?” you asked, smiling at him again.

okay. by now jihoon was sure that the alcohol in his system was making him feel things he was not supposed to feel. because there was no way in hell your smile could make his stomach somersault twice in a row, could it?

suddenly, the lights above the two of you changed, now casting a soft red glow on your features. and it was like jihoon was hit by a truck. all of sudden, you were the prettiest girl he had ever laid his eyes on. the red glow on you seemed to make you look more ethereal… more godly. 

and as you cocked your head to the side waiting for your response, jihoon felt his breath slowly returning to him, his cheeks now heated by the sudden realisation that had just hit him.

“red.” he said after clearing his throat, wondering if he should start learning maths again, just to impress you.

A/N: Please do tell me what you think about this story!! I worked really hard on it and I would love to know everyone’s thoughts on it~ Comments and reblogs are appreciated!

© 𝐆𝐘𝐔-𝐄𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

[springgirlshowers]

Cool About It

Summary: You’re face to face with your ex outside of a bar after three years of no contact, is there any point of talking to him?

Pairing: Joost x Reader

CW: smoking, cursing, arguing, poorly proofread, angst with a happy ending tho! ;P

WC: 1,935

A/N: i can’t write a summary for the life of me + wooooo feeling angsty tonight guys

When Joost left he told you he would be gone for a long time. You knew that of course.

He told you he would have to leave and travel constantly if he wanted his career to grow, which you were fine with. You wanted nothing more than to see it happen.

With school and working for yourself, you weren’t able to come along with Joost on his tour and to the festivals he was performing at. That was okay with you!

As long as you could still text and call and video chat with him you were fine. Of course, you absolutely missed him during it, but you could put up with the temporary long distance.

However Joost, felt the opposite apparently.

To be fair, you knew it was gonna be difficult being together yet so far apart.

Joost ended things with you, telling you he didn’t think your relationship with him would work constantly being gone. He'd also told you not to take it personally, and you had. Like an idiot.

You were heartbroken at first. Crying and pitying yourself, questioning why he did it. Even though he already gave you an answer.

Soon your sadness turned to anger, it never changed after that. You’ve been angry at him since he sent that text.

Joost <3: I don’t think this is working

It was a piss poor way of breaking up, the delivery of it was shitty enough, it being over text just made it worse.

The way he worded some of the things he said for his reasoning made it feel like you were a rock in his shoe, or an obstacle in his path to fame.

Yet, you were civil with him when he broke up with you, you never really shared your feelings and emotions on it with him afterwards. Why would you? You weren’t his girlfriend anymore. It wasn’t your place to.

Joost never knew how angry you were with him, you weren’t sure if unfollowing him really showed that. Maybe blocking him did, if he even ever noticed. You were just sick of seeing his face and posts pop up on your feed.

You haven’t seen him, haven’t talked to him since he broke up with you. It’s been three years and not a word has been said to each other.

You expected it to stay that way within the next years and so on. Until you saw him walking around with his friends in the same bar as you during a night in June.

"What the fuck is he doing here?" You said angrily.

"It's a Saturday night, this is a public bar, i'm not sure you can blame him for being here." Your friend shrugged disappointingly.

"Yeah I know." You sighed, "Just…why'd he have to come to this one tonight though? There's like ten other places he could've gone." You thought out loud, muttering. Your friend gave you a sympathetic frown as you rubbed your face.

“You know what, whatever, I’m gonna go for a smoke, you wanna come?” You nodded to the back door of the bar.

“No, I’ll watch over our drinks. You have fun.” She joked, you smiled and told her you’d be back in a few.

You were more than relieved to see that the back wall of the outside of the bar was empty. No other smokers or couples making out. You really needed a moment alone, seeing Joost made it feel like the air got knocked out of you.

You grabbed your pack of cigs, pulling one out and leaving it hanging from your mouth while you rummaged around your bag for a lighter.

You groaned out loud in frustration, desperately looking around the rest of your items for the one you usually had on hand.

While you were too busy searching, you didn’t pay any attention to the door that opened and closed behind you.

“Need a light?” A familiar deep voice asked, you turned to see him. Joost standing in front of you, lighter in hand and an awkward look on his face.

Now it felt like you couldn’t breathe at all.

Although it felt like a lifetime since you’d seen him, it hadn't been that long. It’s really just been a few years.

You just stared at him as he lit your cigarette without hesitation. You snapped back into this moment, inhaling and nodding as your way of saying “Thanks.”

“I didn’t know you smoked.” Joost said, pulling out a cigarette from his own pack.

“Yeah? A person can change a lot in three years.” The delivery of your sentence was venomous. It felt like every word was laced with poison to Joost. It made him pause for just a split second, giving him a small hint of how angry you still were at him.

He stayed silent, so did you. The only noise being the flick of his lighter and traffic in the distance.

The brick wall felt cold and jagged on your back, you debated if you should just stomp out your cig and just go back inside already.

“So how's everything been for you?” Joost broke the silence.

“Fine. Great.” You said stoically, Joost hummed in response.

You weren’t going to ask him the same question. You’d already knew how great he’d been doing. You’d saw all about it, read all about it, heard all about it, and honestly, you were sick of it.

He was getting where he wanted to be, good for him. You just wished you didn’t have to hear all about it.

"Number one in Germany, huh?" You said as exhaled smoke, a hint of anger still in your voice.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah.” He let out a nervous laugh, “Insane isn’t it?” He itched at his arm.

“Yeah. Good for you though.” You spat, suddenly remembering how he made you feel like you were in his way to success.

“You don’t sound very excited about it.”

“Really?” You said sarcastically, flicking ash. Joost just nodded and cleared his throat, taking another inhale.

“I still have your shit in my closet. In a box.” You spoke out, keeping your eyes away from his.

He never came back for any of his shared clothing. You were kind enough to fold all his shirts that were hanging in your closet and put them in a cardboard box. Which you planned on giving him once he got back, but he never came back for it, never texted asking. So now they just sat in the back corner of your closet, collecting dust.

“Oh.” He said softly. Heart hurting a bit at the fact you never got rid of his stuff.

“Yeah. You’re free to take it back any day now. I’m tired of being reminded of it every time I need to pick out something to wear.” You sighed, you were halfway done with your smoke.

“I can understand if you’re upset.” He looked down, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. “I know we ended things at a weird time.” His words made your blood boil.

We? We ended things? No. You. You were the one to end things. I didn’t want anything to end, you did, Joost. That’s what you wanted to spit at him. Instead you gave him a watered down version of it.

“You gave up on us, not me.” You said, exhaling, desperately trying to keep your cool.

“I don’t think I’d call it giving up…” He mumbled.

“No, you gave up. We hit a difficult patch and you were too much of an ass to push through it so you gave up.” Your mouth was moving faster than your brain, you didn’t mean to be so harsh or to argue. But you’ve been holding in all this anger for the past three years, now it was all spilling out.

Your chest was rising and falling in frustrated breaths, you blinked away the glaze that formed over your eyes. You waited for a response.

Joost opened his mouth, beginning to say something, but then closing it.

“Don’t even know why I bothered.” You muttered, letting out a sigh and shaking your head as you stomped out your cigarette.

Before you could start moving, Joost finally spoke.

“I thought I’d just continue to hurt you if I kept it going.” His voice was soft. It wasn’t the response you were hoping for, but you were sure what you were expecting anyways.

“Hurt me?” You asked, complete disbelief in your voice.

“I was gone for months. You’re telling me that you were fine with it? That it didn’t bother you?” He threw his cigarette down, grinding his shoe into the bud.

“It did bother me a little sometimes. I missed you the entire time. But I knew you were doing what you wanted to do for so long.” You took a step towards him, “I knew performing made you happy. I wasn’t gonna stop you from that. You were happy, I was happy.” You shrugged, trying desperately to keep back the tears that were going to form in your eyes.

It was the truth. You loved hearing the excitement in his voice when he’d call you just before shows, hearing the smile in his voice made one appear on your face as well.

“I cared for you so much. So much. I tried so hard to keep everything together and you just threw it all away. You made me feel like some kind of burden.” You could hear your voice begin to crack while your eyes watered, you didn’t want him to see you so emotional. You shoved past him, heading for the door.

“I never stopped caring about you. I need you to know that.” Joost spoke out, causing you to stop. He wanted to say a different word than “caring”, a stronger word, but he didn’t think he was brave enough for it. You turned around, eyes looking at the cement instead of at him.

“You were never a burden to me, liefje. Never.” Even though his voice was soft, his words were hitting you, your eyes finally met his. “It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have ended things like that. I shouldn’t have ended things at all.” He stepped closer to you, hand grazing your cheekbone. Eventually both hands coming up to gently cup your face.

“I was such an asshole. You didn’t deserve that, any of that.” Joost felt your jaw clench, your attempt to keep your lip from wobbling as tears threatened to spill from your eyes. His own eyes were beginning to water.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Y/N.” You heard the crack in his voice, and that was enough to cause you to break, tears beginning to fall down your cheeks.

And of course, the next thing he said was the final blow to cause your upcoming breakdown.

“I never stopped loving you.” His voice was barely a whisper, yet still loud enough for the both of you to hear it. You let out an embarrassingly loud sob and wrapped your arms around him, face shoved and sobbing into his chest.

Joost sweetly shushed you as he rubbed a hand up and down your back, lightly swaying the both of you as he let a few tears fall from his own eyes.

You really wanted to kiss him, you really did. You would’ve at this moment if you weren’t bawling and wheezing out tears. However, Joost was fine with it, as long as he knew he had you back, in his arms, he was fine.

Joost having you here with him, he was fine with that.

[tgmsunmontue]

Short Hangster mini-fic set post-mission on the carrier.

                He’s not asleep. Lying in his rack and trying to calm his mind. He took another life today. He’d do it again. In a heartbeat, but it doesn’t make it weigh any lighter inside his heart or mind. Doesn’t help sleep come and quiet his mind any faster. He hears the three taps on his wall and pulls back the little curtain, half-expecting Javy to be standing there, it’s not. Instead it’s Rooster, looking tired but so alive he feels a welling-up of just sheer relief that he saved his life. He did a good job today even if he had to kill someone else to do it.

                “Hey Hangman…”

                “Rooster. You allowed out of medical?”

                Rooster shrugs which Jake is going to take as a very firm no. He raises an eyebrow.

                “Mav’s snoring. Keeping me awake.”

                Jake huffs in amusement, wonders if he should get up. He can’t sit up, there’s not enough room. His three bunkmates are all fast asleep, everyone more than capable of sleeping through everything once you’ve had your first deployment on a carrier.

                “Did you want something?” Jake asks, because he will get up if he has to, but he doesn’t want to. Wants to at least pretend he’s been able to sleep tomorrow morning when everyone wakes up.

                “How do you… uh… You’ve killed someone before. And again today.”

                Jake clenches his jaw, wonders if Bradshaw is going to make fun of him for it, or tell him he did a good job or some other type of bullshit.

                “How do you deal with it? The guilt?”

                Fuck. That’s a hundred times worse than anything he could have predicted.

                “Jesus Rooster, you think I’ve got answers? There’s a reason I’m not asleep either…”

                “Oh.”

                “Yeah. Oh.”

                “You’re admitting to not knowing something? Is that a first? Do I need to mark it down as a red-letter day or something?”

                “Yeah yeah, laugh it up. But… I don’t like that I’ve had to kill someone. Two someone’s. But I’d make the same choice over and over. Every time. Deciding between saving you and Maverick and killing someone I don’t know? Easy choice. Not one I wish I had to make, but I made it, and I will live with it. And I’ll continue to make that choice, and also understand that some days I am that someone that my enemy doesn’t know…”

                “The risks of the job.”

                “Yeah. Kill or be killed. Pretty high stakes.”

                “Yeah. God.”

                “Fuck, come on. Get in here. It’ll be tight but I don’t think either of us wants to be alone right now. Plus I don’t snore and you’re definitely meant to be sleeping.”

                “We can’t both fit in a rack.”

                “We can if we’re determined and don’t need to move. Come on.”

                It’s proof that Rooster is tired and likely concussed that he simply agrees, folds himself down until he’s pressing his back against Jake’s front and he lets himself rest an arm over him, shifting his head so they can share the pillow.

                “Go to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

                “Not like you can get out without waking me up anyway.”

                “Shh… sleep.”

                He hadn’t thought that being squished tight into his bunk, holding Rooster tight to him, would have aided his sleep at all but he wakes later to a dead arm, Rooster still firmly under his arm and held tight like he’s afraid to let him go. Blinking at him in disbelief is Javy who is silently mouthing what he suspects is what the fuck? at him. He shrugs and reaches for the curtain and pulls it closed. He could do with a bit more sleep.

[wemalyri]

enha hyung-line reaction when they find out you were r@ped

pairing: enha hyung-line × gn!reader genre: slight angst, enha comforting reader warnings: mentions of sexual violence, reader has a mental trauma, sexual concept in heeseung and sunghoon (supposed to be the first time), description of abusive relationship in heeseung, slightly suggestive in jake's scene, physical contact, kisses, making out w/c: +-300 each member (but heeseung is 435 I'm sorry for that lol) a/n: I couldn't make up a lighter name for this 😭DO NOT READ if it's a sensitive topic for you, keep yourself safe pls. // also sorry for not posting for (quiet) long. jay is next in "enha in relationship" headcanons!! + I feel like I could write smth more for hee with this concept, let me know if you want it. !!!if you liked it, likes and reposts are welcomed!!!

Heeseung

Your back pressed against the wall when Heeseung’s tongue entered your mouth, deepening the kiss. His lips moved hungrily against yours as his hands slipped inder your shirt. You immediately flinched, pushing his chest to pull away. Heeseung noticed that something was wrong and leaned back to look at your face. “Is something wrong? You’re not ready yet?” His eyes were searching yours to find a reason of your reaction. 

“I… can’t do it.” You looked away with guilt but Heeseung immediately lifted your chin up with his hand. 

“Hey… that’s okay. I understand.” His fingers caressed the skin of your cheek, eyes gently looked into yours as the fire in them began to go out.

“No, you don’t.” You shook off his hand, flinching your head. Suddenly the feeling of disgust to his touch overwhelmed you. 

“Y/n…” Heeseung pulled his hand away but stayed at the same place next to you. “Then explain to me.”

You heavily sighed and started staring at the opposite corner of the room, escaping his gaze. “It’s my ex boyfriend.” Heeseung stared at you with confuse. “He never asked me. He would slid his hands under my shirt, pressing me again the wall… and touch me. Even when I didn’t want to.” Heeseung’s eyes widened in shock at the same time as his jaw clenched from anger. He slowly placed his hand on your shoulder, making sure it wasn’t uncomfortable for you.

“I’m sorry for that…” His gentleness made you melt and you finally met his gaze. 

“It wasn’t you. You don’t need to be sorry.” Even when a slight smile spreaded on your face Heeseung still looked worried and confused. 

After a moment of silence he asked. “How long had it been… going?”

“For five months maybe.” Your words made his heart ache. “I couldn’t break up with him because he told me no one will ever love me. And I thought it was okay. At that moment.”

Heeseung made you look at him, making sure you’re listening. “It’s never okay. Look at me, I really love you. And I would never ever hurt you. Physically or mentally. Do you understand?” You nodded and he patted your head. Your hands wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer to you and he hugged you back, burying his nose in your hair. “If you ever feel like you want to go to the next level, tell me, okay?”

You nodded as your grip on him tightened. “I will never touch you without your permission. I promise.”

“Thank you.” Your whisper faded as you nuzzled in his chest more.

Jay

As you two got home and the door behind you were closed, Jay immediately reached for the buttons of your raincoat, hastily undoing them. You gripped one of his hands and looked at him with fear in your eyes. “Jay…”

He immediately stopped and lifted his gaze at you with worry. “What’s wrong, love?”

“What are you doing?..” your voice above a whisper. 

“I'm trying to help you take off your raincoat. It’s soaked after the rain. You should be warmed.” Your hands dropped weakly, eyes looked down. “Oh” you whispered under your breath.

“Is something wrong with that?” Jay asked, reaching his hand to cup your cheek. 

“I thought you wanted… tried to…” You couldn’t end your sentence.

“Tried to undress you? I did. But not in the way you thought. I suppose.” Jay made you look at him, his voice lowered. “Have someone… ever… tried to undress you in that way? Without your permission?”

Your lips trembled at the memory and you sobbed. Despite the fact that it was a long time ago, the reminder of that still hurt you. Seeing you like this made Jay’s heart ache and his hands pulled you closer to him in a reassuring embrace. His palm caressed your hair as he pressed his lips to your head. “Do you know that I would never hurt you, right?”

You nodded weakly, sobbing into his chest. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t.” His voice lowered. “Don’t blame yourself. Ever. It’s not your fault.”

His words dissolved into the night silence of your apartment, reflecting off the walls.

Jake

While cooking, you felt Jake’s hands on your waist and his lips on your neck. The touch has awakened a memory in you, a situation you would like to erase from your head forever. You flinched away, heavily breathing, when Jake took his hands off you and looked in your eyes in worry. “What’s wrong?” he asked in concern, keeping his hands in the air. 

“Sorry…” you sighed, putting a spatula on the countertop. “Just a bad memory popped out.” Jake crossed his hands, glancing at you with frowned eyebrows. “What memory?”

You took a deep breath again. “My friend… used me when we were at the party.” Jake’s eyes widened and he darkly mumbled “He’s not your friend. He doesn't deserve you to call him that.”

You awkwardly chuckled, trying to brush away a sudden memory of that night. “I know, I know.”

“Are you scared… of my touch? Does it make you uncomfortable? You never said that when we were hugging.” Jake asked with concern, digesting information.

“No, everything was okay back then. It’s just your lips on my neck…”

His eyes widened in guilt. With puppy eyes he looked down. “Oh I’m sorry. I won’t do that again, if you don’t want me to…”

“I want you to do that.” His face lit up with hope. “Just don't do it so suddenly, okay?” Jake chuckled awkwardly and shook his head like a dog. “Yeah, yeah, of course.”

His eyes glued to you and he took a step closer. “Can I kiss you?” You smiled, looking at him. “Yes, you can.” He stepped to you even closer and his lips gently met yours, his hands held your face. As Jake pulled away, he wrapped his hands around you, caressing your hair with his hand and immersing you in the warmth of his body.

Sunghoon

“Wait…” you quietly said, slightly pushing his chest, signaling him to pull away. Sunghoon immediately stopped, looking into your eyes, asking if something’s wrong without words. As you slowly got up on your elbows, he pulled away more and sat down on the edge of the bed, staring at you with worry. 

“I had a bad experience in… this.” you whispered after your heavy sigh. Sunghoon’s eyebrows frowned. “What do you mean?”

Taking a deep breath, you spoke “Once… my body…was used without my permission.”

Sunghoon’s mouth slightly opened in shock and concern. To get from him any words you added with a strangled voice “I was raped, Hoon.”

His eyelashes trembled at the realization of your words. He sighed heavily and mumbled “I didn’t know…” He looked down, finding words to say. “I’m sorry, if I made you uncomfortable… I didn’t mean to.”

You slightly smiled and placed your hand over his. “It’s okay. I know you didn’t.”

Awkward smile appeared on his face. “Do you want to… watch something maybe?” he asked, trying to fill the silence. 

“Actually, Hoon, I want this. I want you.” you whispered, looking into his eyes. He immediately looked at you with widened eyes. “But you said-”

“I know what I said. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want this. I want you. Just… can you be… slower?..” you didn’t let him end his sentence, gripping his wrist. His expression softened and he held your hands in his. “Of course. Tell me if something’s wrong okay?” Sunghoon asked, laying you down on the mattress again. As you nodded with a smile, he gently kissed your lips, showing that you’re safe with him.

[bluem1ngs]

pau cubarsí

September 28, 2024

He focused only on the game as he ran down the field. Even though the stadium was full, he was worn out and felt strangely alone on that pitch.

The game ended when the final whistle blew. He felt nothing, nothing at all, even though they had won.

He greeted a few opponents as he crossed the field and gave his teammates a pat on the back.

He stood on the field for a while, taking everything in. He took the time to enjoy the energy of the audience and to him it still felt surreal that he had truly accomplished his aspirations and dream.

He looked around the audience and clapped with the supporters. He noticed a girl.

A girl he met when he was fifteen and simultaneously fell in love with.

His heart ached, longing for her. He fell in love with her first. That November night, the same girl who had promised to love him forever also stole his first kiss.

She lied, she had broken her promise to love him forever. She had left him.

She was so breathtakingly beautiful that it took his breath away. She wore a black mini dress & high brown boots.

Now a few shades lighter, her hair was curled and voluminous, falling over her brown leather jacket & resting on top of her head was a pair of vintage-looking brown sunglasses.

A smile was on her lips, that gentle & beautiful smile he loved some much.

But, things weren’t the same anymore. She wasn’t the same girl he fell in love with.

He turned and walked into the tunnel, not even turning to look back at her, even though it hurt him.

He still loved her, & he knew he always would, no matter what.

October 31, 2024

He weaves into the crowd around the dancers.

The sound of music completely takes over the mansion.

To the music, people danced & sang.

He twirls the cup of some sort of soda or juice in his palm and takes a sip, experiencing a scorching sensation in his throat.

He was surrounded by friends who were conversing with him, but he was almost out of it, thousands of thoughts running through his mind.

He walks away from the crowd and up the stairs, where he found a long dark hallway, with a fish tank along the walls, that aluminized a bright blue light.

As he became disoriented in the beauty of the Aquarium, he felt relieved & relaxed from the sound of the water.

His fingers graze the glass, following the paths the fishes took as a smile crept onto his lips.

A reflection of a girl overcame the glass, her skin reflecting the blue light.

He turned around, seeing her standing there.

She looked beautiful.

She’s dressed in white. It’s like she walking down the aisle, wearing an elegant ball gown with white angel wings along her back.

She looked at him with that gentleness & humane stare that had the power to make him fall to his knees.

“Juliet?” he asks about her costume.

She smiled, looking down at her dress.

“Yea, I know it’s a little much.” her voice was quiet & soft.

“You look beautiful.” he tells her with a serene look.

She looks at him, and softly smiles.

“Listen, Pau..” she begins, “If I could change the way things ended between us, I would, okay?”

He waits for her to continue, watching her.

“But I would never want to change my relationship with you because falling in love with you was the best thing I ever could’ve done.” she tells him.

“Then why’d you leave me?” he looks at her, searching for an answer to his inquiry.

She can barely utter a whisper, much less a word, as she stands there, starring at him through teary eyes.

 

With a shaky breathe, a sob escaped her lips, “I don’t know, Pau. I thought I knew what I wanted and that was leaving— but the truth is.. all I want is you.”

He looks at her, with his eyes that convey a range of feelings, including love, vague, and timid, all because he was afraid to give his heart out to her again.

It hurt him to know he was the reason for her tears. Leaning in close to her he caressed her cheek with his hand, sliding his fingers into her hair. She closed her eyes and leaned her head over against his hand. He cherished her.

He stroked strands of her hair back from her temples, and her lips parted.

He didn’t realize what he was doing until he saw his fingertips smooth over her bottom lip. Her eyes went luminous and dreamy, and when he ran his fingertip over her lip again, her mouth opened wider. He found himself leaning toward her, wanting to feel her lips on his again.

He gave her a kiss on the lips. It was delicate & slow. The blue light reflecting onto their faces, as they shared a sweet kiss.

She slowly brings them apart, her eyelids fluttered half-closed as she relished the kiss.

He took in every nuance of her, before letting his hand fall from her face.

“I still do love you,“ he whispers, “I always will… I just can’t trust you.”

With sorrowful eyes, she put her hand to her heart.

Wishing that things were different for them, he met her gaze.

"Let me find your trust again," she whispered to him.

He looked at her, his eyes tentative and melancholy.

She placed her hands on the sides of his face and pressed their foreheads together.

She begged, "Please," and all he could do was give her such a delicate hug that said, "Yes, a million times yes."

She pressed breathy kisses all over his face and jaw, first on his cheek and then on his neck. She embraced him tightly, her hands encircling his neck.

Also just another small idea I had, but LMK if anyone would like a pt 2 of this story because I will definitely write it! 😚

[snippy-tano]

Late Night Pastries

This wasn’t a request, but since it’s my birthday today, I thought this would be fun! I’ve been working on a few requests, but have been mostly working on a long OC fic that’s been taking up a lot of my creative energy and time. I will work on requests when I have time! Promise!

masterlist is here!

taglist is here!

tagging: @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life; @marvel-starwars-nerd; @mackstrut; @dissapointingpancake; @ahsokatano-thetogruta; @welcometothepedroverse; @padawancat97; @fractiouskat; @mandaloriandin; @badbatch-simp24; @katelynnwrites; @s1st3r; @leotatombs; @torchbearerkyle; @the-navistar-carol; @bombshe77; @arctrooper69; @social-mockingbird; @littlebluebatbrat; @get-wr3ckered; @flowered-bicycles; @idoubleswearimawriter; @lucyysthings; @dangraccoon

-----------------------

It was late aboard the Resolute and it was quiet in the medbay where you were currently organizing the new supplies that had just arrived. 

The medbay was mostly empty of troopers and those that were there were sleeping soundly in the back of the large room. So you took the peace and quiet for what it was and enjoyed the time to yourself. You listened to the soft sounds of the machines and the hum of the ship beneath your feet as you counted out the supplies and marked it on the datapad beside you.

You were halfway through the crate of bandages when the door to the medbay opened. You turned in time to see Echo walk in, his hands clasped behind his back. It was a surprise to see him, especially this late, but he was your closest friend. It had been an easy transition for the two of you to go from acquaintances to best friends, in fact, it was the easiest thing in the world.

Echo was everything to you. And you were pretty sure he felt the same way about you. 

A smile spread across your face as he approached. “Hey, what are you doing here?”

Echo shrugged. “I figured I’d find you here. Are you ever going to say no to a nightshift?” 

You chuckled lightly. “They aren’t my favorite, but I’m not going to turn someone down if they ask to switch shifts. Anything I can help you with? You don’t look injured.”

“Oh no, I’m fine.” Echo said. “But I do have a reason for stopping by. Do you know what time it is?”

Your eyes narrowed as you turned and looked at the chronometer on the wall. “Uhh, it’s just after one. Why? Have I missed something?”

Echo looked smug as he smiled softly before shifting his hands from behind it back to reveal a small pastry with a single candle on top. 

“Echo, what is this?” 

He chuckled. “Only you would be so focused that you forget your own birthday.” 

Realization dawned on you as you let out a sigh that turned into a laugh. “Only you would remember my birthday when I totally forgot. Thank you.” 

He shook his head before pulling out a small lighter and lighting the candle. “Just blow out the candle and make a wish.” 

You gave him another look before closing your eyes, a wish finding its way into your mind before you released it to the galaxy, hoping that maybe it’ll come true. Your eyes opened and you leaned forward, quickly blowing out the candle.

Echo smiled at you and you felt your stomach twist as your face warmed, averting your eyes. “Here, let me clear this space and we can share that.” 

“I got this for you. You don’t have to share it.” Echo protested and you gave him a shove as you quickly cleared off the small table in the medbay.

“I know. Which means I can share it with whoever I want.” 

Echo let out a sigh, but didn’t protest further as he set the small pastry on the table. He pulled out the candle as you found two small forks that were wrapped in plastic from you and your fellow medic’s trip to the mess hall. You pulled out a chair, taking a seat as Echo did the same, setting down his helmet. You passed him a fork and he took it with a smile. 

You placed a hand on his arm, giving it a squeeze. “Thank you Echo.” 

He rested his hand on yours. “Happy Birthday, cyare.” 

There were the warm fuzzies again. You gave him another smile before raising your fork in the air. Echo smiled back as he clinked his fork against yours. 

The medbay was quiet around you, save for your quiet conversation with your heads ducked together. The pastry was delicious and Echo refused to give up how he’d managed to find it. But wherever it was, it was amazing and despite the late hour, it was probably the best birthday you’d ever had.

[csanflower]

“you drew stars around my scars”

pairing: experimented on! jungkook x experimented on! reader

powers au!, childhood besties au!, patients au!

genre: angst, fluff, sfw

wc: 5.9k

synopsis: meeting jungkook was like gazing up at the brightest star in the sky as you lay helpless on the cold ground in the dark night. you both found comfort in one another. you healed each other as you suffered through painful experiments together. the pain was bearable, with him by your side. whenever he was around, your smiles were brighter, your shoulders were lighter, and all your worries just seemed to disappear in an instant. good things don’t last though. you learned that the hard way.

OR

jungkook and y/n meet in the hospital both trying to be cured of their ‘disease’ (they have powers :O) and form memories along the way <3

tw: experiments on human (not detailed though), scars, gun

*inspired by ‘cardigan’ by taylor swift: “you drew stars around my scars” pls listen to it while u read this 🥹🥹(A/N: GONNA BE FIGHTING HARD FOR TICKETS TO ERAS TOUR THIS WEEK SO I WROTE THIS HOPING TO MANIFEST SOME TICKETS😭🙏🙏)

——

13 june, 2005

You monitored the pale, white room around you. White bed. White cupboard. White walls. You sighed in frustration. Your rainbow obsessed 7 year old brain screamed at you to add some colour to the walls. Note to self: Bring crayons to colour walls next time.

“Please…I will take care of her… don’t do this…”

Hearing the small familiar voice of your mother, your eyes lit up, and you climbed onto your white bed, propping your elbows onto the tiny window frame in the small room, peeking your small head out as you stared curiously into the other room. Your mother talking to a man in a white coat. They were having a serious conversation, and your mother seemed like she was about to cry. Why is mommy crying? Is she hurt? You thought to yourself, immediately jumping off the bed and running to the room next door to find your mother and comfort her.

The moment you entered the room your mother was in, you noticed she instantly wiped her tears away, trying to hide her tears from you.

“Hey sweetie, you like the room?” She plastered a smile on her face as she looked endearingly at you.

“It was alright. It could have more colour though. Next time I should bring my crayons and draw Bibi on it!” You let out a huge smile at the thought of Bibi, showing off your missing front tooth. Bibi was your imaginary friend. Picture a golden retriever, but covered in rainbows. Making friends were not exactly your specialty. For some reason, everyone called you a freak and did not want to talk to you, all because you were able to move things with your mind. And so you found comfort in your imaginary friend Bibi instead. He was the only one who understood you.

“Hey sweetheart, you’ll be staying here for a while, ok? It’s to make you better. Don’t worry, mommy will come back to visit when I can.” You could tell your mother was holding back her tears. It was the same face she made when daddy screamed at her and left us, or when she received a call that grandma died.

“W-why can’t mommy stay with me?” You felt tears brimming at your eyes as a sinking feeling appeared in your heart. You could feel that something bad was happening.

“Y/n, you are a danger to your mother. You need to stay here to get better-“ The doctor in the coat was cut off as I screamed out loud.

“NO! I WANT MY MOMMY! IM NOT GOING TO STAY HERE!” Your tears were overwhelming you as more people stomped into the room, grabbing your mother’s arms as she tried to grab you into her embrace. She had released her tears by now, sobbing uncontrollably. The people who stomped into the room grabbed her arms harshly, dragging her away from me and out of the door.

You felt your arms being pulled back by the doctor as you tried reaching out for your mother. You let out a frustrated scream, as your emotions ran rampage. The room around you started to shake and you unintentionally slammed everyone in the room against the hard wall — including your mother. Everyone except you fell hard to the ground as they hit the wall, all groaning in pain. You looked at your mother apologetically, then looked at your own hands in disgust. What have I done?

Your mother looks at you with one last glance, glossy eyes as she mouths to you ‘It’s ok, i love you’ The security people, as if unphased from the hit, immediately got up, containing their job as they dragged your mother forcefully out of the room. You didn’t dare to stop them. Not after what you did. You knew you were a monster.

“Do you see now, y/n? You’re a danger to everyone. If you want to be fixed, you will do the wise choice of cooperating with us so you can see your mother again.” The doctor got up slowly, looking at you with a cunning smile.

You gulped. You were scared. So, so scared and lonely. But you knew you had to do this. You had to get better. You had to make your mom proud. So you bravely nodded, agreeing to stay at the facility to get help.

—

2006

You never saw your mother again after that incident. You were unsure if she chose not to see you again because she thought you were a monster or if she was not allowed to visit you, but you sure hoped it was the latter.

You grew accustomed to the lifestyle. Everyday, your morning would be filled with ‘recreational activities’ like playing chess, but having to move the pieces with your mind, or doing basic commands with your powers that the doctors made you do. Afternoons were the worst. They would strap you into the terrifying pink chair in the ‘rainbow room’ and conduct experiments on your brain. For a room called ‘rainbow room’, it was certainly not full of rainbows. You would have to sit through hours of excruciating pain as the voices in your head overwhelmed you. There were so many needles, blood. But there was nothing you could do. None of the doctors cared for you. You had no one.

As time passed, you started getting used to the lifestyle. The food wasn’t bad, you had a chef that would make what you wanted, and servants that would get you what want. The only issue was the loneliness. You realised you were the only patient at the facility. Nobody ever talked to you. The guards, doctors and servants were not allowed to form a relationship with you. You had no one to talk to — except Bibi. But you knew Bibi wasn’t real. You weren’t a kid anymore - you had matured quickly from having to face the bitter reality. Bibi was merely your coping mechanism from the horrors of your daily life.

That was until he came along.

On 13 June, 2006, Jeon Jungkook, a 9 year old boy, was admitted into your facility exactly a year after your admittance. You were excited when you heard the news. You would finally have someone to talk to, someone to share your pain and to hang out with — a friend. Sadly, you did not hit it off as well as you expected it to. Jungkook was a shy, frightened boy, slightly shorter than you, eyes red and puffy probably from the amount of times he cried after being separated from his family. You felt for him. You were in the exact same situation as him a year ago, and you understood that he needed some private time to heal himself. He was definitely not in the mood for making friends. So you kept your distance for a while, not wanting to seem too desperate.

Until the night of his first experience in the ‘rainbow room’. You laid on your bed, reading the same book for the thousandth time as you sighed in boredom. Until you heard a sniffle in the hallway.

Curious, you stepped out of your room, not shocked to see Jungkook crouching into a little ball in the hallway outside his room, crying quietly. You could see the deep scars left on his left arm, the same ones you get daily from the experiments. You crouch down beside him softly, hesitantly patting his back as you tried to comfort him wordlessly. At first, he looked tense and uncomfortable at your touch, but he slowly eased into it as he saw the same scars on your arms. You inched closer to him, giving him a warm embrace as you cried together with him.

After that night, the two of you became closer. He realised that you were just like him. That he was not alone in his painful journey. And so started your friendship with Jungkook.

You soon realised Jungkook was more than a shy, frightened boy. He could be playful and kind at times, and he quickly became your close friend — more like only friend.

He painted your bleak childhood colourful with memories and fun moments. The two of you would make inside jokes about the staff there, laughing at how they always wore the same clothes and probably didn’t wash them, and joke over stupid things like whose powers were stronger or who was taller.

Yet despite all the jokes, the two of you placed deep trust in one another, comforting each other when the experiments got too harsh and painful, convincing each other that it would end some day. Mornings and afternoons of playfulness and fun ended in late nights of cuddling and crying together. This lifestyle became a norm for the two of you. But still it was tolerable, because you had each other.

—

2010

“Y/n, look what I found!” Jungkook ran into your room with a big, smug toothy grin on his face, hiding something behind his back.

“Did you finally find out where your room actually is? Because I’m starting to think you don’t know that since you’re always in my room.” You rolled your eyes playfully as you pretended not to be interested in what he actually brought.

His smile faltered for a second, processing your words, before he faked an angry frown, and pounced onto your bed that you were laying on, tickling you as revenge.

“Ok stop,” you giggled, “I was just kidding, tell me what you brought.” He finally stopped tickling you, pulling something from under his shirt behind his back, as he excitedly presented it to you.

You jaw dropped in shock as you immediately snatched it from his hand, staring at it in disbelief.

“That’s right! A full set of rainbow coloured crayons just for you!” Jungkook beamed with pride.

It was only the previous night that you admitted your obsession with rainbows to him, telling him stories about Bibi, and sharing about how you wished you could colour your room walls. You’ve been begging the workers for some sort of colour since you’ve arrived, but they never met your requests, saying that it was too “childish”. You couldn’t help but wonder how Jungkook managed to get it.

“I bet Bibi could have never gotten this for you, it just proved I’m a much better friend than him!”

You laughed at Jungkook’s statement. After telling him about Bibi, he had been so jealous that you had another friend other than him, even though you repeatedly told him numerous times that Bibi was an imaginary friend. However, you didn’t admit that you hadn’t talked to Bibi in a long time since you’d made friends with Jungkook. That would make his pride swell too much.

“How did you get it? The workers never ever let me get anything like this!” You were still in disbelief.

“Well, doctor choi has been wanting to do the new form of experiment on me since a few weeks back, and he said he would reward me with anything I wanted if I did it! So since I’m the bravest and coolest person ever, I did it today!” Jungkook said with a smug smile.

You frowned when you heard what he said. For the past few weeks, Jungkook had opposed greatly to doing the new format of experiments, since it was on a much larger scale than the previous experiments we had done. Our previous experiments usually ended in scars on our arms, but this new experiment was performed on the whole body. Jungkook had protested against it, because he was too afraid of needles. He had always been less receptive to pain than you. But why did he suddenly agree to do it today?

You looked down on Jungkook’s body, noticing new scars that were on his legs. He quickly tried covering them, saying, “It’s no big deal! It wasn’t even painful!”

You knew it had to be painful. The size of the scarring were just much larger than the usual. You pouted in guilt, hugging Jungkook tightly, “You didn’t have to do that! I bet it hurt so bad!”

“It’s fine, I just wanted to do something for you after all you’ve done for me…” He looked at you, face blushing slightly from your close proximity.

That night, the two of you didn’t sleep, colouring the plain walls with the crayons until dawn broke.

“Pfff. What is that supposed to be?” Jungkook muffled his laughter when he turned to see what you were drawing.

Frowning, you exclaimed, “It’s the galaxy! These are all the planets and all my beautiful stars!”

“Those are supposed to be stars?! They’re so ugly!” Jungkook joked with you.

You threw one of the crayons in his face, ignoring his comments. You didn’t care how ugly your drawing was, you loved seeing the sky and stars shining. Especially the stars. Stars were your favourite thing. Before you came here, you and your mother went stargazing every week, staring into the beautiful sky. Even though you probably would never be able to see them again since you weren’t allowed out of the building, you still held on to the hope that maybe one day you could have that chance again.

You stared at your galaxy for a while before turning over to Jungkook’s side to see what he was drawing.

You were shocked to realise that he was a much better artist than you. You inched closer to his side, smiling when you realised what he drew. A portrait of you and him together, on a lush green field, staring up into a sky full of stars. Although you never told him directly about your love for stars, you realised he must have guessed it from all the times you talked about them and tried drawing them. Your felt your heart beat a little bit faster at the thought of Jungkook being so attentive to your likes.

Your eyes trailed down to below the beautiful drawing to see a small writing below.

‘Y/n and Jungkook together forever!’

—

2015

As the years ticked by quickly, Jungkook started growing from a boy into a man. Once he hit puberty, he shot up like a tree and grew muscles. His featured became more defined and he grew out of his baby fat. You noticed that as Jungkook turned into a teenager, he had also turned more rebellious towards the workers, always unwilling to follow through their instructions and ending up getting punished. Yet he still stayed kind and sweet towards you, acting like the same 10 year old boy when he’s around you.

“One more time and we will not tolerate this anymore! You got it?”

Hearing the faint voice of doctor choi, you quietly get up from your bed and run to your door, peeking out softly, looking in the hallway.

Doctor Choi stood outside of Jungkook’s room in anger, scolding him. You could barely see Jungkook from your angle, only seeing half of his body.

“Ya, ya whatever. I won’t do it again.” Jungkook rolled his eyes and then slammed the door in Doctor Choi’s face, resulting in Doctor Choi stomping away in anger.

When you were sure Doctor Choi was out of sight, you quietly tip toed to Jungkook’s room, knocking on his door impatiently.

“What more do you want? I-“ Jungkook opened the door, annoyed.

When he saw you, he paused and his eyes softened.

“What did you do again? I was so worried when I couldn’t find you this morning! You have to start being more careful! These people have power over our entire lives! You can’t just act recklessly like this!” You immediately pushed past him and entered his room, sitting on his bed, as you looked at him angrily.

He carried a childishly guilty look, nervously scratching the back of his neck.

“I didn’t do anything bad! I just kind of sneaked out…”

“What!?? You tried sneaking out again?? Are you crazy? You could get into serious trouble-“

“I didn’t try, I did sneak out. I succeeded.” He said with a smug smirk on his face.

You paused your words in shock.

“Wait what? You sneaked out? Whats outside? Did you see the sky? How did you sneak out?” You bombarded him with questions.

He chickled slightly, sitting beside you in the bed.

“Chill, it’s mostly just greenery. But I found a really nice spot. I’ll take you there tonight.” He smiled gently at you.

You don’t know why you agreed with Jungkook’s ridiculous rebellious plan, but the thought of even a chance of being able to see the night sky again was just too tempting.

So now you and Jungkook were currently hiding in the vents, waiting for the right time to sneak out when nobody was looking. You sat rolled up in a circle beside Jungkook who looked noticeably more uncomfortable than you due to his size. The two of you were inches away from each other and you could feel your face heating up at the close proximity.

“This is really uncomfortable.” You muttered in the awkwardness.

He chuckled stating that it would be worth it.

Sure enough, he was right, as he usually was. When the workers were not looking, he quickly dragged you out of the vent as the two of you ran as quickly and quietly as you could to the spot he was talking about.

“Don’t open your eyes!” Jungkook placed his large hands over your eyes excitedly as he led you quietly to the spot.

You followed him blindly, placing your trust in him.

“OK! Open your eyes now!” You could hear the smile in his voice, excitedly opening your eyes.

When you peeled your eyes open, you stayed silent, in awe at the view you saw. The sky was pitch black, but the bright stars around twinkled in the dark. You felt like crying. You’ve been longing for this view for years. And now that you could see it in real life you didn’t know how to feel.

“I-It’s not the best view but I thought you would like it.” Jungkook said with a shy smile.

“It’s beautiful, Jungkook! I love it so much.” You were on the verge of tears, throwing yourself onto him as you embraced him tightly in gratitude.

You could feel him sigh in relief, hugging you back just as tightly.

“I’m glad you love it.”

The two of you sat on the field in silence, staring at the sky in awe. From your peripheral view, you noticed that Jungkook was looking at you the whole time.

“You should take a picture, it’ll last longer.” You joked with him as you turned to him momentarily.

“I really wish I could.” He replied.

You kept quietly, not expecting that response. The two of you stayed quiet for a while before you broke the silence.

“My mom used to bring me out to star gaze every week… I miss her so much.”

Jungkook looked at you in slight shock, not knowing how to reply. Though the two of you shared everything with each other, parents were not a topic you commonly discussed as it was pretty sensitive.

As silence engulfed the two of you again, you asked Jungkook, “Do you want a family when you grow up?”

“Yes, but only with the woman I love.” He stared intensely at you.

You looked back into his eyes, not knowing how to reply.

“Y/n, you are the one I lo-“

You cut him off quickly, pressing your finger onto his lips.

“Please don’t, I don’t think I can handle that.” You say apologetically, “I don’t deserve to be loved. My scars, they’re too ugly. I- I’m ugly. I don’t deserve love.” Your tears fumbled your words.

Jungkook’s eyebrows fumbled, his strong arms grabbing your arms gently, relentlessly pulling it towards him even as you tried your best to pull it away. He gently looked at your scars, rubbing onto them as he pulled them to his lips and kissed them gently.

“They’re beautiful y/n, everything about you is beautiful.”

Your tears started pouring as Jungkook looked at you with so much love and affection, kissing your ugly scars with so much care as if they were the most beautiful thing in the world.

“No they’re not, I can’t even look at them. It hurts, Jungkook. I hate everything about myself.” You leaned your head on his shoulders as you cried harder.

Jungkook hesitated for a moment, before grabbing something out from his pocket.

You almost laughed amidst your tears when you saw what he took out. A pink crayon. You remember giving that to him because you refused to use that colour in your drawings, stating that you hated that colour. (mostly because it was the colour of the chair in the rainbow room) As years passed and your crayons were used up, you never knew he had kept that crayon until this day, keeping it in his pocket like that.

You kept quiet as you watched him curiously. He grabbed your arms gently, drawing cute little stars around them.

“Look, now your arm is a cute little galaxy. It’s even more beautiful than the sky up there.” He smiled gently at you.

Looking at your arm now, you chuckled slightly as it did slightly resemble the universe above you. Jungkook used his fingers to wipe away the tears below your eyes.

“Since I kissed your scars, don’t you think you should kiss mine too?” He smirked.

You laughed, tears dissipating as you bent down and kissed the scars on his arm as well. You grabbed the pink crayon, drawing stars around his scars as well. You frowned when you realise his little universe didn’t look nearly as nice as yours.

“Wow you’re trying to make my scars uglier with your ugly stars.” He teased you.

This time, instead of throwing the crayon into his faces, you smiled endearingly as you leaned your head onto his chest, savouring as much as you could of this sweet moment.

“Jungkook… sorry for cutting you off just now. In fact, I-I actually love-“

Just as you were about to confess, you were suddenly interrupted.

“Jeon Jungkook! I told you no more sneaking out! This is it! You will be punished! Grab her!”

You felt yourself being pulled away from Jungkook’s side as two strong men grabbed both sides of your arms.

“Let go of me!” You tried pushing yourself off and using your powers but you were too weak after the experiments this week.

“Stop! Let go of her now!”

You’ve never seen Jungkook this mad before. Jungkook used his powers, twisting the heads of the two men holding you, making them crumble on the floor with blood gushing out of their eyes. You looked at Jungkook in shock.

Before you could run away, more men appeared, grabbing you once again, other men grabbing onto Jungkook.

At this point, you were a sobbing mess and the both of you were unable to escape since Jungkook’s powers were too weak from attacking the two men.

Jungkook was fuming, struggling in the grip of the two men, as he repeatedly shouted, “Don’t hurt her! Please! Let her go!”

You could feel yourself getting weaker as the men holding you placed a device onto your arm, draining your energy.

“This is your punishment, Jungkook. You’ll never see her again.”

That was the last thing you heard before you blacked out.

——

2016

You barely saw Jungkook again after that. They moved his room into another wing, and held his experiments elsewhere. You were back to 2005, lonely and depressed.

The only times you heard of Jungkook were through overhearing gossips from the workers.

“He caused a ruckus again, asking to see y/n. “

Your heart ached, longing to see him once again as well, and also concerned that he would be punished for being uncooperative.

You started focusing more on following the doctor’s instructions, with the hope that you could rid of your powers quickly so you could be released together with Jungkook. You were starting to see hope, everyday your powers were slightly diminishing and becoming weaker as you focused diligently during your experiments. Although as your powers grew weaker, you noticed you were becoming weaker as well. You’d lost a bit of weight and strength. But that didn’t falter you. You were too determined on losing your powers and escaping the facility.

Every morning, you would wake up to the fading drawing of you and Jungkook together watching the sky, bringing you back to the memory of that cursed night. Nights ended with you daydreaming on what could have been if you guys weren’t separated. You just wished you could have seen him one more time.

You didn’t know that your wish would have came true so soon.

It was 2am at night. You were lying on your bed, staring at the stars you had drawn on your ceiling with the crayons Jungkook gave years back. When someone entered your room quietly.

“Y/n, I have no time to explain. You have to come with me now.”

You looked up, shocked at the familiar voice. Sure enough, it was Jungkook in the flesh. He had an anxious look on his face, as if he was in a rush.

“W-what? How?” You didn’t know how to react after seeing him for the first time in so long. He looked the same from the last time you met him, except he grew buffer and more handsome. You looked at his arms, realising he still had pink stars that looked like the ones you drew around his scars. You assumed that he had traced over the stars when they started to fade so that they would stay intact. You let out a small smile at that.

He grabbed your wrist tightly, dragging you out of your room in a rush as he kept looking around for workers. You were still in a state of shock, unable to say a word as you followed him. When he was sure no one was in the hallway, he dragged you into the janitors room, closing the door.

He turned to you, glossy eyes looking at you as if you were the only thing that mattered in his life.

“I missed you so much.”

“Me too.”

The two of you stood in silence for a few seconds until Jungkook remembered why he came to find you.

“Look, y/n, we have a chance to escape. No, we need to escape. I found out something about the facility here. They have no plans to actually cure us, they can’t. They plan to have us stay here forever, to contain us and weaken us so we can’t escape. They’re afraid of us, y/n. And they can kill us at any time. They couldn’t kill us previously because the government did not allow it with the public watching. But with time passing, I overheard them saying that the public is forgetting and the government gave them the green light to kill us anytime we prove we’re a threat. We need to go, y/n.”

You knew this time it wasn’t a joke. Jungkook had never put on such a serious face before, and you could only nod at whatever he was saying. It was weird, the way you trusted him so easily. But he was the only person in your life who ever truly understood you and supported you. Maybe that was why you agreed to easily to whatever he said.

“W-when do we leave?” Your mind was still confused at how fast things were escalating. A moment ago you were just about to fall asleep, and now you were about to escape from the only place you’ve been in for the past few years of your life.

“Now.”

You followed him quietly as the two of you entered the vent you’d once been in. Memories of that horrible day came into your mind, but you pushed them away. Despite having an inkling that something about his plan could go wrong, you tried ignoring that thought, hoping it would be a success and that the two of you could actually leave together.

The two of you crawled through the vent, going a different route from the previous time. When he stopped abruptly, you stopped as well, waiting for his instructions. Looking down from the vent through the tiny holes, you realised you were above the main entrance of the building, the same entrance you and your mother had walked through the first time you entered.

You held your breath at the memory of that day. You hadn’t seen this door since that day in 2005 since it was always blocked off by guards and lots of protection. You felt heartbeat increase, maybe there really was hope at an escape.

“Ok on my signal you follow me and jump down, alright?” Jungkook turned around to look at you as he whispered. You nodded determinedly in response.

When Jungkook mouthed the word ‘now’ to you, he kicked off an opening on the vent and jumped down onto the floor as you followed along. As you jumped down, you stumbled slightly, but Jungkook caught you, steadying you with his arms.

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?” The guards, who had been on break took notice of us and ran after us from a few meters away.

“Run!”

Jungkook grabbed your arm tightly, pulling you along with him as the two of you ran for your lives out of the building.

As you ran, you started panicking as all you could see around you were greenery. But then hope came again when you could see a town with people and buildings in the far distance. There was a chance the two of you could make it.

You ran harder, locking hands with Jungkook as you both ran towards the town.

Bang!

The sound of the gunshot resonated through the forest. You didn’t feel any pain. But that made you feel worse. Because you knew it was Jungkook that had been shot.

“Shit…” Jungkook groaned in pain as he grabbed onto his stomach, blood gushing out.

Despite the pain, he didn’t give up, dragging you to a blind spot in the forest behind a tree where no one could see the two of you.

You placed him gently on the floor as tears flowed down your eyes uncontrollably.

“No…no, please…” You muttered as you tried putting pressure on the wound.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Go. Go without me.” He said with little energy.

“No! No… I’m not leaving you here.” At this point you could barely see anything, everything blurred from your tears.

“You have to go now y/n… please… I love you so much…” He said with tears.

“Sorry, y/n, I didn’t want to show you my new power this way, but I have no choice.” He said weakly.

You were confused for a moment, until he grabbed onto your arm and said, “You will run as fast as you can to the town there and not look back once. And you will never ever return to this place.”

Instantaneously after his command, your legs stood up without your will and ran towards the town.

“W-wait! Jungkook! I love you! Stop this now! Please! I’m begging you!”

Your words were no use, your legs following Jungkook’s command as you couldn’t even look back to give a final glance at him.

When you reached the town, you broke down on the street immediately, wanting to run back to help him, but you physically couldn’t.

2018

Healing was hard. Especially without Jungkook. But eventually you moved on, like you always do. After escaping, you found a small job as a cashier at a convenience store, becoming close friends with the old grandma who owned the store. Your income was not a lot, but it was enough for three meals a day and rent for a small apartment. You went on that way for about 2 years, until realising you were too lonely and needed a new companion. And so you adopted an 8 year old golden retriever who had previously been used for animal testing. The moment you saw the scars on his frail little body, you broke down and sobbed at the adoption drive in front of dozens of people. You knew at that moment that he was yours. You named him Jeon Bibi.

—

13 June, 2020

“Jeon Bibi! The park is this way, where are you bringing me to?” You chuckled at your dog’s cute behaviour as he excitedly dragged you away to the opposite direction of the park you usually walked to.

“Ok, ok you’re the boss, i’ll follow you.” You smile affectionally at him as you trail behind him, curious to find out where he was bringing you to.

When Bibi came to an abrupt stop, you realised that he stopped behind the tall silhouette of a man’s back. You looked up curiously at the man, wondering why Bibi brought you to him. The man whipped around when he felt Bibi sniffing his hands.

You felt your breath hitch as the familiar man turned around, staring deeply into your eyes. For a moment, time stopped. Your eyes turned glossy as years of memories flashed passed your mind in an instant, the walls you’ve built around your heart demolishing in a split second. Your eyes trailed from his slightly longer, curlier black hair down to his large brown doe eyes, and to his pink lips, adorning a new lip piercing. You brought your eyes down to his body, noticing he became even buffer and taller. Then your eyes reached his arms and you felt your heart stop, looking at the scars that you once rubbed, kissed, newly decorated by familiar stars that were now permanently inked onto his skin.

He seemed equally shocked as he stared at you, tears brimming his widened eyes.

You both didn’t move an inch, staring into each other’s eyes. You were the first to break the silence.

“I thought you said my stars were ugly.”

He broke into laughter amidst his tears at the fact that that was your first comment after meeting him. You could feel your heart squeeze at his laughter. God, you missed him so, so much. You found yourself laughing along to his contagious laughter. For a moment, it felt like the two of you were 10 again, laughing without any worries.

“Y/n, everything about you is beautiful, even your ugly stars.” He ceased his laughter, small smile on his face as he looked at you intensely, years of memories hidden behind those eyes.

He paused for a second, hesitating before confessing.

“Y/n, I love yo-“

Before he could finish, you cut him off by taking a step closer to him and smashing your lips against his. He instantly melted into the kiss, grabbing you tightly, scared you would be separated again. You hugged him back tighter, reassuring him that the two of you would stay together forever.

After all, he was your star, your salvation, the one who made you love your scars, the one taught you acceptance and love, the one who made living worth it.

A/N: I LOVE THIS STORY SO MUCH😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭Ifeel so attached to them i cant do this rn i’m so sad. if u don’t understand the last part basically he REMEMBERED THE SHAPE OF HER STARS AND GOT A TATTOO OF THEM EVEN THOUGH HE HATES NEEDLES OK 😭😭😭😭ok but actually this piece was a bit of a rush since i wanted to quickly post it before my great war so it may be a bit incomplete at parts ANYWAYS PRAY FOR MY GREAT TICKETING WAR TMR🙏🙏THANKS LOVELIES FOR READING and do give comments if u can because i love reading feedback <3

[azzysmate]

Back From the Dead - Part 2

Azriel x RhysSister Fanfic

Summary: Rhaen, sister of Rhysand, was supposedly dead for centuries, but what if she wasn’t? What if she was only trapped by something no one ever dreamed of being so dangerous? And what will happen when she appears at the border of the Spring Court and human lands barely alive?

3rd Person POV

The High Lord and his Spymaster walk down the halls of the clinic in silence until they are certain that the two females will not overhear them.

Rhys, only a few steps ahead of Azriel, whirls around to ask, “What did you find?”

Frustrations rolls off of him waves, almost as visibly as the velvety darkness he wields. “Nothing.”

He had searched all up and down the wall, looking for something or someone that could give him some type of clue as to where she came from. But it was as if she’d appeared in the spot he’d found her out of thin air. She was only a few feet from the wall, and there were no human settlements around for miles. No holes in the barrier, not a drop of blood from her or anything else close by, no other scents, not a trace of any other being.

“She must’ve used what little energy she had to winnow where I found her,” he adds, “Whatever happened to her took place at another location.”

Rhys runs a hand through his inky black hair. “And you didn’t check the Spring Court at all?”

He doesn’t respond, only blinks at his brother. They both know that if he had stepped one toe onto Tamlin’s land, it would’ve started something they weren’t prepared to finish. They couldn’t withstand the repercussions right now, no matter how badly the both of them were willing to risk it. It was the only reason Azriel showed any restraint. That and the fact that he wouldn’t have been able to stop himself in time to see Rhaen wake up.

Not that he got back in time to see that anyway. He couldn’t bring himself to be irritated with her at all though, not when she was smiling up at him like that and joking around with Rhys just like old times. Like she was never gone. His heart felt lighter seeing that, but every time she flinched in pain, it struck a match to the boiling rage inside of him. Someone had touched her, hurt her, left her for dead, and he refused to let them continue to walk around this earth as if they’d gotten away with it.

“I don’t think you truly want me to slip into that territory, Rhys,” he finally answers the question, “but I can do anything else.”

With a sigh, he nods slowly, “Right. Almost forgot about how absolutely feral you become when it comes to my sister.”

“What?”

It isn’t easy to surprise the Shadowsinger. He is the Night Court Spymaster for a reason, and it’s because very little can make it passed his intensive attention. He’s also a little too good at keeping things to himself, making it hard for his family to truly see him. He isn’t a vulnerable person, and although he’s shown romantic interest in not one, not two, but three other females since Rhaen’s death, or I suppose disappearance would be a better word now, none of them have made him as weak as she did. Which means he’s never tried to hide something as hard as he’s tried to hide those feelings for her. Especially from Rhysand.

“Azriel,” he says with a bit of a laugh, “I know you. I see more than you might think. Of course, I’m not quite as attentive as you are, or else I would be doing my own espionage. That doesn’t mean I miss the way you look at her, the way the tension leaves your body when she’s near, the playful glances and words you give to her. I’ve always seen it, even when we were younger. I also see how you’re so fiercely protective of her. I saw the way you immediately grasped onto Truth Teller when we came into her room. And let’s not forget how you were barely considered a living being after we heard the news about her. You love her, Az, and not in the same way that Cass and I love her.”

Again, all that Azriel can do is blink at him. Rhys isn’t angry, thank the Cauldon, as made clear by the smile that stays on his lips while he speaks. However, that’s not exactly the reassurance he needs from him in order to pursue Rhaen. He would never do such a thing without his blessing.

The High Lord shakes his head a bit when he realizes he’s not going to get confirmation or denial. Which is really the only confirmation he needs to know his assumption is and always has been correct.

He places a hand on his brother’s shoulder and asks, “You said you’ll do anything I need you to, right?” Az nods. “Okay. What I need is for you to get her to open up to you. You have always been closer with her than anyone else, so I know she’d tell you before she’d tell me. Though that’s never made much sense to me considering you’d do more damage on her behalf than I ever could because like I said, you go feral when it comes to her wellbeing. But I digress…”

“Rhys,” Azriel speaks as Rhys trails off, “I’m not sure what you think she’ll tell me, but I don’t feel comfortable romancing your sister into giving me information.”

“I’m not asking you to report anything back to me. I trust you’ll bring any dire needs to my attention, but what she needs is for you to be her friend. Rekindle the relationship you two once had and get her to share what happened to her. Not for my benefit or yours, but because whatever she went through left a wound that she’ll need to let breathe before it can heal. Feyre told me that when she started to wake up earlier, her hands were glowing purple. We both know that’s a sign of her losing control. It looked like something triggered her, and whatever was going on in her head made her angry enough that she would have turned the whole building into rubble had Feyre not gotten her to open her eyes. Something bad happened to her while she was gone. Something that could cause her to destroy the entire continent if she doesn’t let it out.”

Az takes a deep breath before doubtfully clarifying, “And you actually think I’m the one to bring it out of her?”

A smirk appears on Rhys’ face, as if he knows more than he’s letting on. “I do. Be her friend.”

Many thoughts passed through the Shadowsinger’s mind at his assuredness. Did Rhaen have feelings for him all those years ago? If she did, would she still have them now? So much had happened that irrevocably changed him since she’d last known him.

Then again, plenty of things must’ve played out for her that he had no clue about either, but there was no doubt in his mind about what he still felt for her. Feelings he hadn’t felt in her absence and probably never would for anyone but her. No matter how hard he’d tried.

Either way, Rhysand was right. She needed someone to talk to. Whether or not it was him.

Azriel’s doubts were suddenly clouded by the need to help her get better, so he tucked them away and replaced them entirely with the resolve to be whatever Rhaen needed him to be.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

1st Person POV - Rhaen

Madja said I was healing wonderfully. I only had to stay one more night before we could return home, just so she could be one hundred percent certain there were no signs of internal damage.

Thank the Mother she didn’t possess the ability to search my mind, or she would’ve never let me leave.

Rhys had communicated with Nuala and Cerridwen to prepare me a room at the River House, the new property he’d bought specially for him and Feyre. When we arrived, it was just as lavish as I expected. Night Court colors enveloping every nook and cranny. A huge bed, covered with the most beautiful black and silver embroidered silk sheets. Midnight blue curtains with shimmer that sparkled like diamonds, imitating the night skies of home I’d missed so much. Ornate artwork and vases on all the walls and tabled surfaces.

My favorite part by far was the bathroom. Everything was black marble aside from the cream colored porcelain tub that was big enough for three people and equipped with messaging jets that I couldn’t wait to unleash on my sore muscles. Every type of earthy smelling soap imaginable, along with salts and sprays and lotions. All of my favorite hair products and oils. Everything I used when I was younger.

The fact that he remembered those details from my childhood made my heart melt.

Scents that I favored, books I grew up reading over and over again, pictures of our family, our friends, including the new additions I’d yet to meet. Everything about it screamed home. It was perfect.

The only thing that felt out of place was me. Yes, I loved everything he picked out and prepared for me, but it was more like a shrine built for the little girl I used to be. I felt different now. Rougher. Battered.

Broken.

Even so, I said nothing in hopes that I could readjust. Perhaps living as I used to would bring back that innocent little girl I was. I truly wanted nothing more.

Now, we’re all gathered together for dinner, finally eating after what felt like hours of reuniting hugs and introductions.

“Okay, hold on…” I raise one hand to Nesta, who isn’t nearly as scary to me as they made her out to be. It’s more like she feels everything so strongly, and she isn’t sure how to handle it, and that’s something I can relate to. “You changed her entire reproductive anatomy? And then proceeded to do it to yourself?”

She smirks at me from across the table and Rhys rolls his eyes, surely never going a day without the reminder she saved his mate’s and son’s lives. “I did,” she says.

“You were not joking about the last ten years, Feyre,” I comment, “The Archeron sisters are a different breed entirely. Completely flipping Prythian upside down. A High Lady with the powers of all the High Lords, a death god who can control the Troves, and a seer that needs nothing else to leave me utterly impressed. I’m blown away.”

“Don’t give her a bigger head than she already has, little one,” Cassian chimes in.

Nesta lifts one brow at her mate. “You weren’t complaining about my head this morning.”

Lucien, who I recognized from Tamlin’s court and nearly beheaded on sight had it not been for Azriel holding me back while Rhys explained his presence, spits out the smallest amount of wine and looks around sheepishly. “Apologies. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to how you are all so… open with each other.”

Elain, Feyre’s other sister, smiles softly at her mate and pats his shoulder lovingly.

“You’re in and out so much, I’m not sure how you ever could be,” Mor replies to him, “That’s alright though, Luc, now that you and Elain finally accepted the bond, I’m sure you’ll acclimate in no time. Officially part of the family, which means more family dinners, which means more lewd family conversation.” She winks and lift her drink to him.

“Wait, you only just accepted your mating bond?” I blurt out curiously.

Azriel stiffens next to me, and Elain’s eyes widen a bit as they take me in. Lucien clears his throat, and all the others grow uncomfortably quiet except for Cass, who looks more annoyed than anything.

After a moment, Elain sobers up enough to answer me, “I had a hard time coping with becoming fae. Being thrown into the Cauldron was traumatic enough, but as soon as I came out, Lucien was exclaiming that I was his mate. It was all too much for me all at once, so I had a rough time being okay with it for a while.”

I glance around, but they’re all trying a little too hard to avoid meeting my eyes. “So what aren’t you all telling me then?”

“Perhaps yet another discussion to have at a different time, sister,” Rhys declares, “All that matters is that Elain and Lucien are happy together now. You’re home, safe and sound. We all are.” He reaches out to grab Feyre’s hand, and she gives him an intensely adoring grin.

Slowly, everyone began to speak again, picking much different topics to talk about. With the exception of Az and I. When I gather the courage to look up at him, his golden eyes are already on me, and it causes my heart to stutter.

It’s clear to me that something went on between the two of them, and his regret is just as obvious based on the pleading gleam in his gaze. Silently requesting me to let him explain later.

The problem is, I’m not sure why he thinks I’m owed an explanation. We were nothing more than friends before, and for all intents and purposes, I was dead to him for centuries. Even if something had gone on between us, I would have wanted him to move on from me.

However, if I’d messed around with someone’s mate, I suppose I’d want to be the one to tell my friends about it, too.

He’s so blatantly ashamed of it, and I can see he’s worried about what I might think of him. So I reach under the table to squeeze his knee in reassurance and try to convey my own words through our eye contact.

‘It’s alright. I would never judge you. We all make mistakes in our desparation. I know I have…’

I turn back to my plate and continue to eat. As I’m about to pull away, I feel the softest brush of his rough fingers against me, and then his scarred palm settles on top, keeping me there.

Heat flushes across my cheeks, but I ignore it and the reminder of Feyre’s suggestions at the clinic that play on a loop in my mind…

You guys are the most wonderful beings in the universe, and I feel so loved. Thank you for your encouragement. This part is a little shorter, not too much happening, but I’m trying to setup for the good stuff, so I hope you bear with me.

I love you all so much, you’re the best 🤍

@projectcampbell @acourtofsmutandstarlight @rcarbo1 @lilah-asteria @anainkandpaper @evergreenlark

[lucky-clover-gazette]

captive prince book 1 highlights & annotations

chapter 3

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

The Regent keeps him around. No idea how the Prince got him in the ring, but that one would do anything to piss off his uncle.

context: laurent wanted damen to lose—we know this because of the drugging. but i suppose that annoying the regent with govart's loss was a consolation prize? and he would have been... equally annoyed, if govart won? laurent cannot possibly think that the regent cares about govart's well-being, but maybe govart is a reflection of his authority. honestly, not too sure about this one.

craft note: “piss off” is a great anachronism here

Laurent might talk like he’d been raised on the floor of a brothel, but he had a Veretian courtier’s mind, used to deception and double dealing.

maybe try to make it sound like less of a compliment

‘I wouldn’t have thought of that. He has a mind for details.’ ‘Yes, I’m learning that,’ said Damen.

Maybe he just wanted another chance to fight something. Preferably an insufferable yellow-haired princeling.

‘Today, in the baths, you will serve.’ ‘Serve?’ said Damen.

he is technically serving cunt. a cunt named laurent

Laurent reclined against the tiled wall, settling his shoulders flat against it.

laurent lean #2

Laurent rearranged himself against the wall into a position that looked even more indolently comfortable than the one before.

laurent lean #3. also, this line is very funny

Those sweet blue eyes gazed at him.

normal reaction to an implied death threat

'Your little speech about fair play fooled me about as much as your show of obedience.'

context: laurent can’t conceive of damen being a decent person without an ulterior motive. given the fact that he's spent the past seven years in the regent's court, i can't really blame him

For Laurent was all of a piece: his body had the same impossible grace as his face. He was lighter built than Damen, but his body wasn’t boyish. Instead, he possessed the beautifully proportioned musculature of a young man on the new cusp of adulthood, made for athletics, or statuary.

damen has no idea how much it would probably mean to laurent to be seen as definitively non-boyish

The water was hot when it pulsed up from the ground, and hot when he poured it from the silver pitcher. The air was hot. He was conscious of it. He was conscious of the rise and fall of his chest, of his breathing, of more than that.

craft note: awareness of non-sexual physical sensation (heat, breathing, etc.) helps to build up tension. also, the repetition here is neat.

He remembered that in Akielos he had been washed by a slave with yellow hair. Her colouring had matched Laurent’s so closely they might have been twinned. She had been far less disagreeable.

damen likes blondes mention #3. another favorable comparison towards laurent, although he does get points off for being a bitch

‘Don’t be presumptuous,’ said Laurent, coldly. ‘Too late, sweetheart,’ said Damen. Laurent turned, and with calm precision unleashed a backhanded blow that had easily enough force to bloody a mouth, but Damen had had quite enough of being hit, and he caught Laurent’s wrist before the blow connected.

the girls are fightingggggg

craft note: i really like “damen had had quite enough of being hit.” it’s a massive understatement, which for damen’s characterization and the book’s sense of humor works perfectly.

He felt the tension hit Laurent’s body, though the tone didn’t change overmuch from its usual drawl. ‘But my voice has broken. That was the only prerequisite, wasn’t it?’ Damen released his grip, as though burned. A moment later, the blow he had thwarted landed, harder than he could have imagined, smashing across his mouth. ‘Get him out of here,’ said Laurent.

the amount of times i had to re-read this conversation and previous dialogue, to understand what the hell was going on between the lines...

context: damen previously made a flippant comment about not assaulting people whose voices haven’t dropped. it was meant as a dig towards the court of vere, which enables csa.

laurent wants an excuse to torture and/or kill damen while his uncle is away—knows that the court would see this retribution as justifiable if damen were to attempt an assault of the veretian prince.

laurent brings damen to the baths in order to essentially make his case for his revenge. he needs to create circumstances in which retribution is justified, and since sex = power to laurent—just another strategy—he sees a way to make that happen by teasing damen. he does not expect to feel anything while enacting this plan, as he is very used to dissociating during these kinds of situations.

laurent: “don’t be presumptuous” = “stop assuming we’re going to have sex, even though it was my plan to put us both in this intentionally erotic situation. i’m more uncomfortable than i thought i would be with this and i’m deflecting.” 

damen: “too late, sweetheart” = “i am smug about the fact that this is making you uncomfortable. also, you’re hot, and i might as well enjoy the view.” 

laurent: “but my voice is broken, that was the only prerequisite” = “by your own joking admission, i now have every reason to assume you’re going to assault me—and your obvious arousal does not help your case.” 

damen, who has absolutely no intention to sexually assault laurent, is shocked by this and pulls away.

He had resisted the provocation to violence exactly because he had known he would end up suffering consequences. And now here he was, for no better reason than that Laurent, possessing a pleasing shape, had left off talking just long enough for Damen’s body to forget his disposition.

i love the implication that laurent is only attractive as long as he isn’t talking. damen is great at backhanded insults too!

‘I should have done this to you the day you arrived,’ said Laurent. ‘It’s exactly what you deserve.’

context: damen is not just some random akielion to laurent. laurent knows that he is damianos, and that damianos killed auguste, leading to seven years of abuse, sexual assault, and isolation for laurent within the regent's court. what he does here—having damen flogged to near-death—is still bad, but at least there’s more depth to the badness than damen or a first-time reader would understand.

from damen's pov, and for a first-time reader, this entire situation is sadistic and impersonal. but with full awareness of laurent's perspective, i can understand that it is essentially cathartic revenge. losing auguste to damen's blade forced laurent to experience the kind of trauma that changes a person forever. the person he has become is a reflection of that trauma, and damen is the ultimate scapegoat.

also, flogging is not exactly cruel or unusual punishment in this world—in fact, damen mentions that he's done it himself to akielion soldiers. it's notable that instances of damen's subtle hypocrisy appear in these earlier chapters: the flogging, parallels between kastor's rule and the regency, and akielion slavery. pacat is methodically building a house of cards with damen's unreliable narration from the start.

(when i call damen an unreliable narrator, it's not because i think he's a bad person or protagonist. he's an unreliable narrator in the same way that holden caulfield is an unreliable narrator: heartbreakingly earnest, ignorant due to inexperience, and within the ethos of the novel, ultimately Good.)

‘You are cold-blooded and honourless. What held back someone like you?’ It was the wrong thing to say. ‘I’m not sure,’ said Laurent, in a detached voice. ‘I was curious what kind of man you were. I see we have stopped too early. Again.’

this first book really is just the two of them playing a high-stakes game of “are you a good person” chicken

‘I was on the field at Marlas,’ said Laurent. As the words penetrated, Damen felt the world reshape itself around him. ‘They wouldn’t let me near the front. I never had the chance to face him. I used to wonder what I’d say to him if I did. What I’d do. How dare any one of you speak the word honour? I know your kind. A Veretian who treats honourably with an Akielon will be gutted with his own sword. It’s your countryman who taught me that. You can thank him for the lesson.’ ‘Thank who?’ Damen pushed the words out, somehow, past the pain, but he knew. He knew. ‘Damianos, the dead Prince of Akielos,’ said Laurent. ‘The man who killed my brother.’

i went into the context for this already, but i do just think it's insane that laurent is both torturing and gaslighting the person who ruined his life. like, remember the guy from the princess bride? "my name is inigo montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die." laurent is essentially doing the same thing with damen here—cathartic and premeditated revenge killing, karma's a bitch, an eye for an eye—but instead he's like "my name is laurent of vere, you were present in the battle where someone else murdered my brother (i know that you know you actually did it), prepare to be tortured and possibly killed based on my own unpredictable and sadistic whims. whore."

[shinsouscatpisssmell]

Betrayed pt.2

Any! Character x reader

Warnings: character isn’t mentioned🫶🏾 I leave it up to you , reader is implied to be chubby, reader is a smoker, reader and character have child (not stated how), implied character death

Summary: you decide to leave for a day or two as the situation escalates at home but during your stay a handsome stranger tries to rizz you up.

< >

"why didn't daddy come to the hotel with us?"  Your som asked as he twirls in the desk chair as you dig through your suitcase for pajamas.

" daddy was busy with work so he couldn’t come this time.” Not having the heart to tell after that night the fights were getting increasingly worse sometimes escalating to throwing objects at walls.

The final straw being that he was found sending flirty texts to the same person that was the cause of your arguments. Confronting him you read the text aloud while he lays in the guest bed until he snatches it ending in you getting pushed by the force and falling against the dresser hitting your head. He tried to apologize but you gave it no time rushing to pack your bags and your child’s. Tuning out both voices as the ringing in your head echos.

You wipe your tear drops away from your face to not alarm your child before pulling out their pair of pjs for the night, “get ready for bed. Just because we’re staying in a hotel doesn’t mean you don’t have a bed time.”

“B-but, please.” He begged trying his best to give their puppy dog eyes. Quirky your eyebrow it was a small showdown until they started batting their eyelashes comically at you forcing a grin on your face.

Sighing you toss the remote on the bed, “only until I come back upstairs, then it’s bed time.” Grabbing a donning a light jacket rolling eyes as Matty small cheers of victory behind you, “Don’t open the door for anybody or anything. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” You hear the confirmation from them before closing the door.

Once making it outside you light a cigarette, sitting on a bench nearby watching passing car and street lights brighten up the night. Rubbing the back of your head from the hit and letting a deep breathe leave your lips.

“It’s pretty cold out here, isn’t it?” A deep voice cuts the silence.

“It is. I just don’t want my son seeing me smoking and thinking it’s cool.” Replying as you huff out the smoke.

“Seems about ,right. It’s one reason why I quit. Can’t have him smoking at 17 like me.” It causes a small laugh to leave your lips.

“Hm, we seem to have that in common. Only thing is I pulled me back in. Seems to be my only comfort these days.” The cigarette becoming smaller until you put it out. Going for another one, “do you mind if I have one?” The strange man asked.

“Thought you quit?” You replied sarcastically nonetheless holding the carton open his way.

“I never said I didn’t enjoy them occasionally though and what’s a better occasion than having an attractive person talking to me.” Snorting at his comment, you hold the lighter for him.

“So what’s your story?.” He asks and you hum in question, “why are you here? You’ve got a child on a Saturday night at a hotel. Looks like your local, by how your not out roaming the streets and got your pajamas on. You also have a child so I’m assuming you have a partner in your life but they obviously aren’t here by how they leave your hotel room. So my next question, if I’m not crossing the boundary . Are they dumb or just plain stupid to let you out their sights?”

Coughing you see the man’s eyes on you and you connect amazed on how he read you like a book, “wow, um… you a psychic?” It earns a deep laugh to erupt from him and shaking his head, “ just call it how I see it.” Sending a smirk your way.

“Well your call is right, I was raised here and yes I do have a partner. Although by now I’m sure they are deep into something or rather someone that’s not me right me.” Stomping out the second cigarette.

“So he’s just plain stupid. I see.” He copies your actions after letting the last bit of smoke leave between his lips. Earning a giggle from you.

“I guess I’m the dumb one. I fell for him a small part knowing he carried feelings for a different person.” A hand touches your shoulder.

“You’re not stupid. It just happens between people sometimes.”

Small laughter leaves, “thanks, so what’s your story? You have a son, what about a partner? Are you from here? What brings you to this hotel?”

“Yes, I was born and raised from here, I’m here for work and to spend some one on one time with my son . Usually living in hotels due to work and having to leave him home by himself all the time is making our relationship strained,if I were to say it.” Comforting him you patted his hand as he did to you, “ After his mom died, it took a toll on us. I submerged myself in work. Leaving him with family until I kicked myself in my own ass and have been taking jobs closer and shorter to spend time with him.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, how’d she die.”

He grabs hold of his necklace a ring hanging from it, “she had a incurable disease. She was supposed to pass when we were in middle school but she still stood strong until after our son was born then took a turn for the worse and passed.”

“That’s a lot to take in. You’re strong for shouldering all that,” you glance at the bar inside, “want to continue this conversation over a drink?”

Walking back into your hotel room with a smile that lights up the dark room. Seeing your child sprawled out on the bed snoring while cartoons play in the background. You scoot them sliding under the covers with them as they cuddled closer to the new form warmth in the body and you smooth down their hair, giving a small kiss to their forehead.

Your Phone vibrating alerts you as you took it off do not disturb for your alarm and see a new notificatiom. Scrolling through you ignore the angry text from your husband and see one from the new stranger you just met tonight and shared a heart felt conversation with.

’Get back to your hotel room safely?’

An//: its getting heated (=^ ◡ ^=) you met someone new? I wonder who! Keeping it ambigious is kinda fun. Tell me who you used 🦭 I want to see if it was who I was thinking of while writing.

[anderstrevelyan]

wip wheneverday

Tagged by @cleric4vampire to share a wip (thank you!), so here's the draft segment of the I-guess-my-version-of-Gortash-invented-lighters thing I was talking about yesterday—

(It's fundamentally a durgetash first time fic, but it has the setup of durgetash-attempt-a-murder-together)

Skie Silvershield could be considered a beauty, maybe, though her father’s reedy frame and angular features did her no favours. Unique, a suitor might say. Rare. Soft-tongued attempts at obscuring the true motivations in their plays for her hand, more interest in a fulsome dowry than a pretty wife. She knows it, too, it’s why she’s out here in the cool air rather than dancing in the arms of a some shiny boy from a shiny family—and she’s always liked a bit of a scoundrel.  He’s found her passable, the other times they’ve spoken on nights much like this. The only reason Enver’s stayed away, really, is how he finds women some decades her senior more loose with their gifts and their coin. He studies her—dress hiked up so she can lean against the wall with one leg, thoroughly ignoring him, focused on something small in her hands—and looks for his opening. Finds it, and runs a hand through his hair, turns his face into the mask and his mind into the weapon he’ll need to see this through. “Can I light that for you?”

She startles, brown eyes wide with a quick flutter of fear, but relaxes when she looks up into his face. Promising, that she hadn’t realized it was him. That she’d been ignoring just an anonymous figure fresh from the house. There’s even a sparkle of invitation there, he thinks; at least, he’s going to proceed as if there is. “You won’t fare any better,” she says despite it, but he plucks the small lighter from her hand anyway. It’s a Gondian thing, meant to house a flame cantrip on demand, and it’s pretty in its silverwork, but they’re notoriously unreliable. It must have belonged to her father, from his days parading around as the head of Gond’s church, and it’s much like the ones Enver’s taken apart, studied, put back together again, between hours observing the cantrip’s properties across Valas’s fingers. “I mean it,” she says, a laugh in her voice. “Gond himself would struggle to master that thing.” He’s tempted to smash it to the ground, if he thought she’d take it in jest. But perhaps not—he’s not sure how fondly she thinks back on her dearly departed father, how much she knows about who he really was. He imagines she must have expected at least something, living under the same roof, but they do have the most extravagantly large estate in the Gate, and there’s a common naivety, he’s found, to the idea that adherents of the darker faiths walk around in one’s midst. He hands her his glass instead—she accepts it after shifting her pipe to the other hand—and digs through his pocket for his own prototype. She takes a long sip of his wine as he does, her eyes never leaving his, not until he leans against the wall by her side and shows her. His is in gold, the metal more intricately carved, but the real beauty lies in its function. “It was a good idea,” he says of the Gondian lighter, sliding it into her dress’s pocket, “but the magic tends to fade, and they don’t make a reliable spark. But if you use cerium, a metal simple enough to import from Chult, and mix it with iron—” He flicks the mechanism, and a flame appears: almost blue, solid and strong, unwavering as a cleric’s faith. “You could sell these,” she says, then leans forward to light her pipe.  He’d expected a little more awe, or praise of his ingenuity; he wouldn’t have shared the secret behind how it works otherwise. He shouldn’t share such a thing, not with anyone, beyond the Bhaalist who watched him do it, not if he wants to keep the credit for himself, and not as he works to find deadlier uses for metal so adept at producing flame. But, of course—it’s not like she’ll live until morning. There’s a small thrill, at the images he can’t ignore. At the thought of Valas’s violet eyes bright in his manor’s dark shadows; of the tension in his muscles as he waits, watches, springs; and his look of relief and exultant release in the aftermath. At how Enver will cup his chin, still warm and wet with her blood, and force him to look into his eyes, to understand the favour, the gesture, the debt tying them closer together. “Perhaps,” he says, taking back his wine. Slowly, so no brush of emotion shows through, and with intention, his fingers lingering against hers. He takes a sip and considers complimenting her.

[tiredtogepi]

A Lady & Her Hounds

Chapter 15 (Final Chapter)

The Hound x Fem!Reader (Jon Arryn's daughter; Sabrina)

This chapter contains: Angst | War | Making out

Word Count: 1794

There were many bodies to burn. Bodies of friends and family. As the morning came the dragon queen did not want to wait. She was preparing to head to King's landing. You noticed Sandor was acting strange. You knew why. You both went back to your chambers. You hoped to rest enough before going back to The Vale.

“I have to go.” He was standing near the door. Back facing you.

“Sandor, the dragon queen is going there! They don’t stand a chance! He’s already dead, by science and now by fate!” You tried to reason with him.

“I need to at least ensure he’s dead, Sabrina.” His tone was dead serious. You scoffed. 

“How are you gonna do that? You’re gonna burn him alive?” You asked ironically. You were mentally, physically, and emotionally tired, always worried if you would die or if you would lose each other. 

“Aye, I might.” He started getting angry too. You walked towards him. You touched his cheeks and brought his face closer to yours. He placed his hands on your hips but avoided your eyes. 

“Sandor, please. We almost lost each other so many times recently. We can finally be free, go home, and be safe.” A tear rolled down your cheek. “Sandor look at me.” 

He quickly locked eyes with you and noticed your tears. He wiped them off your cheeks.

“I’m sorry Sabrina.” He kissed your forehead and bolted out the door.

At first heavy tears rolled down your face. Hiccups and a tight feeling in your chest. A moment later you were filled with anger. ‘Who does he think he is to leave me like that?’ ‘I’m his fucking wife!’ ‘That stubborn fucking hound!’ 

You grabbed your coat and ran down to the patio. You called your dogs, who playing with some children and found the queen's troops leaving for King’s Landing. You got on a horse and followed, your dogs trotting beside you.

As soon as the queen flew with her dragon burning down the city, you knew you had to run inside. You ordered your dogs to find Sandor. Buildings were crumbling. People ran trying to exit the city. There was chaos, rubble, and dust everywhere. Dead bodies by the hundreds. Your dogs seemed to be following the scent to what looked like the entrance to the Keep. Suddenly a familiar face. Arya.

“Where is he?!” You yelled.

“It’s too late Sabrina! We have to go now!” She tried grabbing your arm.

“Arya, where is he!?!?” You yanked your arms off her and yelled at her face angrily.

“Up the stairs.” She answered and you ran towards the stairs. There was no outside wall anymore. Just a precipice and sea of fire downstairs. Your dogs ran up carefully and stopped. Barking aggressively, focused on one man. 

You saw him squeezing Sandor’s head. 

“Charge!” You yelled at your dogs who jumped on The Mountain, getting his attention so he could let go of his brother. You ran to Sandor who was bloody, almost lost an eye at this point. 

You heard a yelp from one of your dogs, that made you look immediately. The monster was able to push and kick your dogs out of the way and was now charging at you.

Sandor shoved you upstairs just in time, he held his brother's shoulder and pushed him to the edge of the precipice. You gasped at the sight of Sandor so close to the edge. He was losing his balance.

“Sandor don’t!” You yelled as loud as you could. 

 He slightly turned his head to you and pushed The Mountain using the pressure of his big monstrous body to push himself back, off the edge at the same time.

He was about to finally get one step away from danger, when The Mountain was able to grab a piece of his clothing while he was losing his balance. 

You threw yourself down and grabbed the back of his armor. Saving him from the imminent fall. You both watched as The Mountain crumbled to the dragon fire that swallowed the city.

You felt the stairs shake. It was time to go.  Some of your dogs were limping. You grabbed River who was lighter and Sandor carried Desert. Forest was not harmed and guided your way out of the city. 

You ran outside just in time before the whole thing collapsed. You passed by Jon Snow, who was coming inside with his men. You basically ignored him and just made your way out to the forest. 

You finally placed River down, examining her. It wasn’t a serious injury. You motioned for Sandor to place Desert beside you so you could look at him. No significant damage either.

You stood up to check on your husband now. He almost lost his eye, some scratches, and bruises. Maybe if you had arrived a moment later the damage would’ve been irreversible.

Once you made sure he was okay your anger came back.

“You cunt!” You yelled at his face and punched his chest. “You half brained, stubborn cunt!” You kept throwing punches as you yelled and cried to his face. He just pulled you to him and held you tightly.

“Forgive me, my love.” He placed his chin on your head. 

“My love?!” You pushed him off you. “If it wasn’t for me and my hounds again, you would be fucking dead! When I begged you to stay you didn’t think twice, but now after saving you, you have the audacity to call me my love?!” You pointed your finger at him and got closer. 

“You are the most stubborn, hard headed, obtuse Hound I’ve ever had to deal with!” You growled at him, breathing so close to his face. 

He studied your expressions, he loved how you looked irresistible when you got angry at him, and for the first time, you called him a hound. It made him melt. 

He just grunted and pulled your lips onto his. Kissing you passionately, almost violently. He finally had his revenge. He didn’t have anything else holding him back. No more hard feelings or frustrations. 

“It’s over Sabrina. I owe my life to you once again. I don’t have anything else to live for.” His soft and honest words after the intense kiss were enough to calm you down.

“You’re right. The monster who haunted you is gone. Swallowed by a sea of fire, dragon fire, the most powerful type…” You looked up at him softly placing your hand on his scarred cheek. The fire that marked his face now had taken the monster who hurt him so long ago. “How do you feel?” 

“I feel free.” He didn’t have any glimpse of hate in his eyes anymore.

“But you were right. He was already dead.” You could see he did regret almost killing himself for his revenge, but he was glad you showed up to save him and make sure he had a future with you. 

He kissed your forehead. “Let’s go home.” He said softly. 

You reached The Vale in a couple days. You both looked like you’d been through hell, and you did. Finally, you were together at peace. 

You called the maesters, instructing them to care for your dogs, and asked the servants to draw you a bath. You walked up to the main chamber, the servants left after preparing everything, and you started undressing your husband. His bruises were a deep purple and the blood had dried and turned black.

You first wiped off the excess blood with a wet cloth and ordered him to get inside the tub. You took off your garments and joined him inside, the water almost overflowed. He took the cloth and wiped the dust off your body. 

“If you ever try to put yourself in these dangerous situations against my will once more, you better make sure you’re dead because if not, I will kill you myself.” You threatened.

“I like it when you growl at me like that.” He played with your hair, unbothered. You blushed. 

“Don’t you test my patience Lord Arryn Clegane.” You tried to sound confident, but it was clear you were shy.

He brought your face to his and kissed you softly. You sat on him once again. He tried to guide your hips down to him. 

“We can’t do it here, the floor will be all wet.” You smiled.

“Don’t have to move. Just stay like this.” It was the first time he was being completely soft with you. All his touches, all the kisses, everything about that moment was soft, except one thing. 

You stayed there, kissing, cleaning each other, touching each other, and talking nonsense about the herbs and flowers used in the bath. 

Later you dried by the fire. Sandor was not bothered anymore. It was like his fear died with his brother. 

You talked about future plans, and how he would love to just take your dogs into the woods to bring whatever natural product you needed for your studies. How he would support your political decisions about The Vale and destroy any man that tried to cross you. It was clear he wanted to live a calm and fulfilling life beside you and you loved to see this side of him. 

“Finally a domesticated hound.” You smiled and he chuckled, his fingers tracing lines on your naked skin.

Some time later you had to return to King’s Landing. To decide on the new King or Queen. You sat with the Ladies and Lords of their houses. After deciding on Bran The Broken you made your way back to The Eyrie. You looked for Sandor as you entered. You spotted him. Coming towards you with a wooden box in his hands. 

“Why do you have that?” You asked as he stepped closer to you, kissing your lips.

“I know you didn’t want to go to that shit city on your name day.” He was right, you didn’t want to waste your name day on political duty.

“So I wanted to give you something special for when you arrived home.” He opened the wooden box. Revealing a small puppy. 

You immediately took her out of the box and brought her to cuddle you. It was a grey puppy, just like Rain, but her eyes were a light brown, almost orange and she had a black mask on her snout.

“Sandor…” your eyes filled with tears. You jumped to hug him tightly, forgetting about all his recent bruises. He laughed and groaned in pain.

“Thank you.” You stepped back. Smiling at him and holding your puppy. 

“What will you name her?” He asked. 

You looked at her, studied her colors and her beautiful features and looked back at him.

“Ember.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

[ameliaenya707]

We Cry Together

Chapter 4 - The beginning

Keigo stepped into the dark alley, azure eyes cutting through the dark and looking back at him paired with the red glow of the cigarette Dabi had hanging from his lips. Dabi narrowed his eyes at him before Keigo stepped closer and joined him in the shadows.

“You sure this place is safe to talk? The main street isn't that far off,” Keigo shivered slightly, the cold air biting his cheeks. His eyes scanned the surrounding area. Grimy brick walls caged them in and a rusty dumpster shoved in the corner of the alley, the buzzing of flies near it filling his hearing until Dabi spoke.

“We’re fine birdie, No one ever cares to come down here. These are just old abandoned apartments, no one has any reason to come down here,” Keigo ignored the bite to Dabi’s tone, his eyes focused on a poorly boarded-up apartment door. The screws were loose, he could probably rip the wood boards off with his hands. And Dabi was right, what reason would anyone need to come down here? He had put a lot of thought into his plan of getting you back, the only missing piece was to keep you.  He couldn’t bring you into his apartment, too risky. But…this place might do fine. He could get in there, clean it up a little, and keep you there until you saw things his way. Baby-proof it a little and make it more comfortable for you.

“Hey! Have you even been listening to what I’m saying, idiot-”

🪶

A soft breeze blew through your hair softly as you stood on the apartment balcony with your friend. She lazily jutted her hand out, cigarette box in her palm.

“M’ not going to start smoking just because of a stupid break-up Tori,” You chuckle softly as she rolls her eyes and stuffs the box back into the pocket of her sweatpants. She cared. In her own weird way. Lucky bitch had never gone through a breakup because she never really bothered with dating, more focused on her job. You envied that. You could see her run a hand through her hair from your peripheral, her eyes trained on the city below. 

“Just sayin',It’d do you some good…” Tori mumbled softly

“Don’t try to peer pressure me,”

“God, what are we in, middle school?” She barked out a laugh and you gave her a light shove. 

“Whatever loser, I’m gonna head to bed. Make sure you get some rest, Yeah?” Tori turned to softly ruffle your hair before opening up the sliding glass door that led back into her warm living room.

“Yeah yeah, I know…Night Kotori~” You could hear her groan at the usage of her full name before she slammed the door closed and huffed back to her room. You were childhood friends, growing up in Fukuoka near the ocean. Working at the same Temple as teens. She had stopped using her full name by the time she was sixteen but you had best friend privileges, so you could call her whatever you wanted without getting burned by her quirk. Her fire quirk was always so cool to you as kids, granted, every quirk is cool to a quirkless little girl. She was a year older and just had an aura of coolness. But realistically as you grew together her quirk became an inconvenience for her, overheating and burns growing more common. But hey atleast she didn’t need a lighter for her cigarettes. Her bad habits weren’t any of your business as long as she wasn’t dying or something. The night grew colder and the tea you brought out with you was getting cold too. You took one last breath of fresh air before turning around to grab your things and head back inside, but stopped by someone grabbing you from behind. A palm slapped over your mouth as panic shot through your body. You opened your mouth to bite the attacker before warm breath hit the shell of your neck.

“Try not to struggle too much, don’t want this to hurt too bad,"

🪶

Deeply he hated this. Despite how his brain screamed this was right, necessary, love. Wrong love. But love nonetheless. And as he tied your limp wrists to the headboard of the bed he understood why you left. He was proud though of how he managed to clean up the abandoned home. It was still dusty and the slightest creepy but it was a bit more comfortable and clean. The tables, counters and any other flat surfaces were wiped clean. He changed the bedsheets of the bedroom and proofed the room. Locks on the doors and windows, blankets he bought around the bed and plush pillows he sat you up against. Once he had you properly tied down he scooted away, sitting on the edge of the bed looking at you. So pretty. He didn't want to scare you too badly when you woke up so he made sure there was space between the both of you. The shot would only last an hour so you'd wake up soon. And when you did…he would make you see it his way. 

His body tenses as he hears you whimper softly, your eyes slowly opening and adjusting to the dark dusty room, the only light coming in through a grid like Shape from bars and wood over the windows. His eyes dart to your hands, fingers flexing as you try to move them before the rope restricts anything further. Your eyes meet his and for a moment it's calm. Quiet. Your eyes flood with panic and his wings poof up. 

“Hey, baby…"

More chapters

[pocket-lad]

CH 2- (Mis)understanding

Prev

Adelaide trekked through the walls. She knew they would be clean, but jeez were they clean . They probably rivaled her setup back at home.

Signs of borrower activity were everywhere. Hooks in places that required climbing, steps built into the floor, patched up holes. She even passed a pipe that looked like it was tapped into.

The further she went along, the worse she felt about yelling at Ian. He was curious, as anyone would be upon finding a borrower, but he was gentle and quiet and once he knew Ollie meant no harm, he backed off. Maybe she had been a bit harsh.  It was just so frustrating to have such a unique opportunity completely obliterated by something out of her control.

Adelaide was stuck between two worlds. She loved Ian. He was her best friend in the whole world and she wouldn’t trade him for anything. But there was another part of her that felt empty for such a long time, and she craved something to fill that hole.

The problem was, to fill it, she had to abandon her friend. No borrower in their right mind would trust another borrower whose best friend was a Bean. It was a betrayal to her whole species. Ugh.

It wasn’t long until Adelaide heard voices. They were faint, even to her own ears, but they were there. Curiosity told her she should approach, but reason said she should turn in the complete opposite direction.

In the end, her nosy sensibilities won out. Adelaide so desperately wanted a connection with another borrower, so maybe she could gain some information on how to make that happen. It wasn’t eavesdropping, it was…She couldn’t think of a justification for this one. It was just eavesdropping.

The first voice was older and quite deep. “Fine. When Ollie gets back, we’ll take you out,” he said.

“Yes!” hissed a much younger voice.

“Don’t get too excited. We’re only going a couple feet. You’re not ready to borrow just yet, especially since there’s more than one human staying here right now.”

“But I’m basically the best climber ever, even better than Ollie!”

The older voice laughed, and that’s when Adelaide realized the voices were getting closer. Before she could even think to bolt, two people rounded the corner.

Their bodies matched their voices. An older man, maybe a little older than Ian, with skin only slightly lighter than Ollie’s. His hair was cropped close to his head and he had faint stubble.  The younger person was an exact clone of Ollie, only if Ollie was thirteen years younger and a boy. His hair was also shaved close to his head.

The three of them stared at each other for a very long time, all in shock.

“Who are you?” the older one asked.

“I’m…I’m Adelaide. Who are you?”

“Dane. What are you doing here?”

“I just got here.” So, Ollie hadn’t made it home yet to tell her family about their misadventure. Obviously, Adelaide didn’t want a repeat of what just happened, but she wasn’t sure how to get out of this one.

Dane’s suspicious demeanor evaporated almost instantly. “Oh, welcome! This here’s Oliver.” He rested his hands on the boy's shoulders, and Oliver smiled up at her.

Huh, Adelaide thought. Ollie and Oliver.

Dane continued. “Why don’t you come inside? We can help you get set up with a place.”

“Oh, I’m okay, thank you-” Adelaide started.

“C’mon. You young borrowers think you can tackle the world all on your own. My Olivia’s the same. Take it from an old man, you-”

“No, really-”

“Dad, we were gonna go borrowing!” Oliver complained.

Adelaide jumped on the opportunity. “In that case, I really don’t want to interrupt-”

“We can go borrowing later. There’s always time for borrowing.”

“Thank you, sir, but-”

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?” a familiar female voice shouted. Uh oh. Ollie was back.

Adelaide turned around to see steam coming out of the woman’s ears. Her bag looked significantly heavier than before, which meant she went out borrowing. She had some real balls then, borrowing not five minutes after getting caught by a Bean.

“Language!” Dane scolded. “And keep your voice down!”

“Oh, don’t need to worry about that,” Ollie laughed wryly. “Bean already knows about us.”

Dane looked dumbfounded. Maybe even a little scared. “How-”

Ollie pointed her thumb at Adelaide. “All thanks to this one.” Dane looked between them, waiting for an explanation, but Ollie zeroed in on Adelaide. “Get away from my family,” she spat.

“I was trying to leave, I swear,” Adelaide explained hurriedly. She didn’t like her odds, stuck in unfamiliar walls three-to-one. 

“Then what were you doing in the walls?” Ollie pressed.

“I live in the walls! Not these walls, but in another house, I live in the walls! I just had a big fight with Ian, over you, actually, and I wanted to be alone. And in case you didn’t notice, it’s hard to find a place to be alone in a Bean’s house unless you’re in the walls.”

“So does the Bean know about us?” Dane asked seriously.

“Yes,” Ollie said.

“Kind of,” Adelaide clarified.

“How?” Dane asked.

“Well…he’s my friend,” Adelaide winced, waiting for a reaction. Oliver looked frightened, but Dane remained stoic. Ollie was still fuming. Since nobody said anything, she continued, speaking only to Dane. “He was asleep, I ran into Ollie borrowing, and then he woke up. He thought she was going to hurt me, so he grabbed both of us and set us on the table. Ollie was free to go from the start, he’s just nosy…”

At the mention of being grabbed, Dane paled. Adelaide probably should have avoided that part, but Ollie would have brought it up eventually. She didn’t want to seem like a liar any more than she already did. “So, he knows Ollie exists. He knows where an entrance to the walls is. That’s it.”

Dane thought about this, then said, “Adelaide, I think you should leave.”

“Yeah, that makes sense. I’m sorry for bothering you.” Adelaide dejectedly turned to go. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to leave the walls just yet, but she’d at least go back to the entrance for now. Then she thought of something important. “Please don’t move. I know what it’s like, but he really doesn’t mean any harm. He won’t tell anyone, he won’t seek you out, and we’re probably leaving in the next week or so anyway.”

Adelaide knew how terrifying it was to have a Bean know of your existence, and even worse, know where you lived. They were capable of anything. They could tear down the walls, they could set up traps, they could poison the air. The ever-present uncertainty was agonizing.

The alternative was moving, and when you lived in a disconnected house, that meant going outside, which was incredibly dangerous. That’s why borrowers avoided it at all costs. Luckily, this was an apartment, but if these people had to choose between Ian or uprooting their entire life, the obvious choice was Ian. She felt like she at least owed them that information.

“And for the record, he’s saved my life a number of times, and I’d trust him to do it again. We’ve had each other's backs through situations you can’t even begin to imagine. Not all Beans are evil.”

Adelaide said her piece. They could either take it or leave it. She hated leaving, hated giving up on this opportunity, but she’d done more damage than she could take back. She just hoped they’d listen to her and choose to stay.

The walk back to the entrance was uneventful. Adelaide stopped by the pipes she noticed earlier to wash her face and her old clothes, which she would hopefully change into when they dried. She still hadn’t had a proper shower since they got back, and she only had the two sets of clothes. When she reached the crack in the wall though, she couldn’t force herself to leave.

Adelaide wasn’t torn between two worlds. She couldn’t be, because she didn’t belong to either of them. She was much too small for the human world, but had too many connections to the human world to truly exist in the borrower world. It wouldn’t be fair to claim the safety of the walls as her own, but she never truly felt safe outside of them either.

She belonged in the threshold, not quite in, not quite out. So that’s where she sat for hours on end. The Threshold. Numb to the world, she curled up on the hard wooden floor and eventually fell asleep.

***

When Adelaide woke up, it was nighttime. She noticed that a piece of fabric had been draped over her while she slept, which she snuggled into cozily. It was cold.

The fabric couldn’t have come from Ian. She was too far in the walls for his hand to fit through, which meant it came from one of the three she met today. Even when they were mad at her, even when they wanted absolutely nothing to do with her, they took care of her out of the kindness of their hearts. If that wasn’t a borrower sentiment, she didn’t know what was.

As she stretched, Adelaide wondered who gave her the fabric. Honestly, she had no clue. She thought about going back and thanking them, but she didn’t want to intrude any further. So, she left the fabric folded up next to the wall for them to grab next time they came by. She hoped that by folding it, she was showing her appreciation. It was too bad she’d never be able to talk to them again and find out.

Wanting nothing less than to accidentally run into any of them, and with nothing else to do, Adelaide decided it was time for her to apologize to Ian.

She hated apologies. It made her feel vulnerable and guilty and she was always scared it would lead to a ‘serious talk.’ More than she hated apologizing, Adelaide hated serious talks.

She dragged her feet as she left the walls, taking as much time as she possibly could to make it over to the couch. There was somebody sitting there, but they were backlit by the TV, so she couldn’t tell exactly who it was. She half-hoped it was Sarah or Kelly so she didn’t have to deal with this tonight.

As always, Adelaide stuck as close to the walls as she could, which usually sucked because it took her double the amount of time to get anywhere. Now, it was to her benefit. Mostly. Just as it gave her the time to stall, it also gave the dread time to blossom.

As she came around the edge of the couch, Adelaide saw that it was indeed Ian. He was awake, watching TV. Sarah was nowhere to be found, and Kelly laid on the couch fast asleep with her legs propped up on his lap.

Well, here goes nothing.

Adelaide threw her hook up to latch onto the side table, knowing full well that it would alert Ian to her presence. She began her ascent but immediately wished she hadn’t. Climbing up with a dislocated pinky and a generally achy hand was much harder than sliding down. It was a long and arduous process, and it took ages just to get halfway. Adelaide’s arms and legs shook so badly she thought she was going to lose her grip.

At that moment, Ian leaned over the edge of the couch to track her process. He too noticed it was taking abnormally long. “You uh…want help?” He knew she needed help, but whether she wanted it was a completely different story.

Adelaide was primed and ready to fight back, but she honestly didn’t know if she could make it. “Yes, please,” she admitted, already angry with herself for giving in.

Ian let the thread slide through his fingers as he scooped her up and set her down gently on the plastic side table. He unhooked her hook, handed it back to her, and returned his attention to the TV.

“Ian,” Adelaide said.

“What’s happenin’?” He turned his head to give her his full attention.

Stuck as he was under Kelly’s legs, Ian was going to be well above Adelaide’s eye level for the majority of their conversation, which did not help her nerves in the slightest. She craned her neck back and blurted, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Ian asked.

Adelaide floundered. He certainly wasn’t going to make this easy. “Um, I’m sorry…for yelling at you. For telling you to back-”

“Woah, I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I uh, I know. Apology accepted.” Ian laughed lightly, trying to keep his voice down.

But Adelaide was on a roll. She didn’t come all the way up here for nothing. “I just…I was so hellbent on finding a friend my own size that I ignored the friend I had right in front of me. I shouldn’t have blown you off like that.”

“Did you come up with that one yourself?” Ian asked, eyebrow raised. It sounded like she pulled the apology right out of a sitcom.

“Wuh - yeah?”

Ian then thought about what she actually said, and he considered the situation that played out. To him, this new borrower was fascinating. He’d never met any of them outside of Adelaide, and he had so many questions. He needed to know more. Only now did he realize his fascination should have been secondary to Adelaide’s. She needed it way more than he did. 

“Hey, I get it. But it's entirely possible I should’ve let you, um, handle it. Something about curiosity and a cat…,” he trailed off. “I fear I may have left a bad impression on your - on your friend there. How’s she doing?”

Adelaide rubbed her sore neck, already tired from looking up. She chuckled. “She’s completely pissed at me. Maybe probably at you too, but definitely at me. I don’t think she’s ever gonna talk to me again.” She neglected to mention Ollie’s family. It wouldn’t be fair.

“I’m sorry, Della,” Ian whispered. He nudged her slightly with a knuckle, causing her to sway in place.

What could she say? ‘ It’s okay,’ didn’t feel entirely correct, because it wasn’t okay and she wasn’t okay, but it wasn’t totally his fault. “Yeah, what can you do?” was the best she could come up with.

“I’m going to bed. You coming?” Ian held his hand out for her.

Adelaide eyed the hand, considering his offer, but unfortunately she had just woken up from a very long nap. “Nah, not tired.”

“Suit yourself,” he yawned, extricating Kelly's legs from his lap and trudging over to the bed.

Adelaide sat there for a while, trying to watch whatever was on the TV. She couldn’t help eyeing Kelly every now and again, making sure the girl was still asleep. It didn’t take long for her to get bored, though, and soon she was sliding back down her thread. At this rate, her hand was never going to heal.

Adelaide decided to borrow. It always helped take her mind off things. There was no way she would climb again tonight, so she entered the walls through the hole on the floor and tried to navigate her way to the kitchen from within. It wasn’t too difficult - the walls were practically set up for borrowers here - and she was elated to find out there was a hole that connected directly to the back of a cupboard. She would kill to have this back home.

Sarah had a lot more food than Ian. Snacks littered the cabinet, so much so that Adelaide couldn’t decide where to start. Bags were only rolled closed - no clips holding them shut, boxes were left open. She could spend hours here!

Unfortunately, her bag was only so big. She stashed a couple of nuts and some goldfish, and she snacked on a pretzel while she borrowed.

A rustle of plastic caught her attention. Adelaide was pretty sure she knew what it was, but she cautiously pulled out her knife, prepared for anything.

She was right. Ollie appeared from within the walls, and when they spotted each other, she threw her hands up in the air, exasperated. “Dude!” she shout-whispered.

Adelaide played dumb. “What?”

“Get out of here!”

“I’m borrowing.” Part of Adelaide kept calm because she knew it would keep Ollie calm. Another part of her kept calm because it made her feel like the bigger, better person.

“Why? Your Bean doesn’t feed you?” Ollie sneered.

“Ha-ha,” Adelaide said, refusing to let that get her riled up. “Um, no, I feed myself, mostly. You want the rest of this?” She held up her pretzel stick.

“No.”

Adelaide shrugged. “I guess I’ll be on my way, then.”

Ollie froze, her posture becoming hostile. “You’re not gonna…” The implication hung in the air. You’re not gonna tell the Bean I’m here, are you?

“Oh God, no, no. I was gonna explore the walls some more…If that’s alright with you,” Adelaide said sarcastically.

“It’s actually not alright with me.”

Adelaide had had it. “What’s your problem?!”

“How dare you align yourself with a Bean?! How dare you call yourself a borrower?!”

“You think I don’t ask myself that every single day?” Adelaide shouted. Then, remembering the three giants sleeping not too far away, she lowered her voice. “Ollie, I understand more than you know. Beans took my family from me. We both have reasons to distrust them, so I know why you can’t trust me . You’ve got a family to protect. I get it. But I don’t have anyone. So forgive me for having a giant friend, but he’s the only person who has shown me any kindness in the last decade, so…”

Adelaide ran out of words. She was done. Ollie could think whatever she wanted, but Adelaide was out of here.

“I’m sorry about your family,” Ollie whispered. Shocked at the sudden change of tone, Adelaide turned to see remorse on the woman’s face. “My…our mom was taken from us too. By a mouse. It got her leg, and it got infected, and we couldn’t…”

“I’m sorry,” Adelaide repeated. What else was there to say?

“He really isn’t going to hurt us?” Ollie asked.

Adelaide heard the fear in her voice. She was scared, and she had every right to be. Maybe Adelaide was being harsh again. She noticed Ollie’s bag bulging, and it probably wasn’t polite to point it out, but she did anyway. “If you’re packing to leave, don’t. He’s not gonna hurt you. He doesn’t even know your dad or brother exist. And if you really don’t want to be around him, I can ask him to leave.”

“And take you with him?”

“I mean, yeah. Why? I thought you hated me.”

“I don't hate you. Just…misjudged you.”

They gave each other weak smiles. Did they really just come to an understanding?

“Do the other Beans know about us?” Ollie asked.

“Sarah and Kelly? No. They know I exist, but Ian wouldn’t tell them without asking you first. Or asking me to ask you,” Adelaide rambled.

“Why do you spend so much time in the walls, then?”

“Same reason you do, I guess. Security. Privacy. Borrowing. Even though I’m friends with a giant, their world is a big one. One that’s not made for us.”

Ollie thought about that. “Well, I’ve gotta get back, explain things to my dad. But I retract what I said earlier. I’m alright with you exploring the walls…Maybe I can show you around tomorrow?”

Adelaide gawked. They didn’t just come to an understanding - this was an active invitation into Ollie’s life! Maybe she could have her cake and eat it too. Her first thought was to tell Ian, but then she thought about how that was her first thought, which was…troubling. She couldn’t dwell on it though, or she’d spiral into another existential crisis. “Sure!” she said.

With that, Ollie disappeared, and Adelaide was alone in the cupboard once more. That honestly couldn’t have gone better. Spirits uplifted, she made her way back to the hole in the wall with more pep in her step.

She could find a place to sleep out in the open, but that made her nervous. Even when it was just Ian, or even an empty house, sleeping out in the open felt too vulnerable. Add in two extra Beans and a new, foreign environment - Adelaide would be surprised if she relaxed enough to sleep.

She also didn’t want to bother Ollie and her family further, so Adelaide settled for sleeping in the same place she did earlier - in the Threshold. Without a blanket, she laid her head on her lumpy bag and draped her jacket over herself. It wasn’t much, but it’d do.

It took a long time, to the point where Adelaide was sure she saw sunlight peek into the home beyond, but eventually, she fell into a dreamless sleep.

***

Adelaide awoke to a booming, quick rapping on the walls. The floor shook, dust fell from the ceiling, and the knocking was so loud that she had to cover her ears.

Once the noise stopped, she realized that it could only be one thing. Ian.

.

Next

[toastedwrittenthoughts]

God, I can't stop watching this scene and I hope you all will bear with me cause MAN!

I GOTTA TALK ABOUT IT!

From what I’ve watched of this series that Richie doesn’t have a lot materialistic wise. … Sure, he’s got his family, his TBirds, his image and now, he's got serious interest in a girl.

I notice that like the other Tbirds he’s got his comb, a zippo lighter, a car...? I say that loosely since its more shared than anything and his Tbird jacket.

I feel like his comb and his lighter are something that he’s gotten as gifts, the car is ‘borrowed’ and Jane’s got his sister as her best friend/campaign manager. His family likes her since they gave her a warm welcome and his parents just gushed at him when he brought her over.

She’s certainly got his attention, both his and his family’s approval (Olivia’s acceptance pending), his thoughts and opinions, his affection and to me, the jacket was the last piece of himself he was willing and wanting to give her. After all, he doesn’t have money to throw around like the Soc’s do and even goes as far as stealing a wallet to pay for their date/hooky day.

So, when this he says;

"I was going to give you my jacket tonight."

And she in turn states; "I don’t want your jacket!"

This. This right here, the look on his face, kill me every time.

Because, Richie, despite being the leader of the TBirds, is very picky on who he 'dates'. This is solidified on the fact that Cynthia states that he doesn’t go on second dates with ANY girl, regardless of social status. And since giving a girl your jacket is a symbol of your commitment to them, Richie was nervous in doing so because he hasn’t ever done it before and damn it if it didn’t make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside when he was awkward as he tried to take it off. 

I might be making a bigger deal about this than necessary but when he tries to explain what his intentions were to Jane at the party, she rejects the jacket, not only the symbolism of it, but also the last piece of himself...

That to me was like saying “I'm offering you everything I am, everything I've got, and you just… don’t want it?” And the look on his face says that to me.. Like he just hit a wall and now tries to process what she just rejected.

Ooof.

The look on his face never fails to make my chest ache. He's already hurt, but now she's just racking it up with her padding that blow with "I have my own." And I understand that she does.

Personally I would have followed up with 'I want you.' You being him, in general. Not the jacket, since the last time she got a jacket from a guy he wanted to date her in secret becasue of gossip.

But the difference I see here is that Richie wants to be public with her, not hide their relationship away, regardless of the gossip.

But the blow up he has at her I can’t help but justify a bit. Everything he says he’s probably thought about for as long as he’s been interested in her and his fear and pain make him lash back in the same way he is probably feeling.

And he’s right.

They don’t talk about himself much when they are together, it’s mostly about her or the election. Her terms. Then again, when they do talk about himself, hes almost defensive about things. Like him and his grades/school and his family.

But what really kills me is the final jab he takes.

"I know the real reason why you won’t wear my jacket.... Because being with a guy like me, brings down your stock."

This might be his biggest fear verbalized and he just dropped it at her feet. And what does she say?

The three words that always make me want to backhand her in the mouth.

"That’s. Not. Fair."

That’s not fair?! Are you kidding me right now? You wanna be his girlfriend and everything so how about; "That’s not true?"

And what really lands the hurt for me is that she doesn’t deny his statement. Which no doubt makes him come to a realization that he is somewhat right. It's the classic 'a girl like her can't be with a guy like me.' You can tell just by the look on his face that the truth of that, no matter how small, still probably stings like a bitch.

And since she doesn't deny it, to him, its also not fair... She’s letting what others think about her and his ‘lack of status’ sway her and that effects her perception regarding them. Its not fair.

Hence the ‘You’re telling me’. So bitterly defeated..

Like... ShiT.

Dude lost the girl before he could even got the girl...

Anyway, I may be overthinking this, I don't even know if what I think makes any sense but I will die on this hill about this scene.. If they don't right their relationship, I will fight someone...

Anyway, thank you for reading my TED talk.. I'm gonna go hide now, but I would love to hear your thoughts about this...