#and I think it changed me on a geometric level

[retroautomaton]

🎀💍🌱

[bloodandthestars]

・✧ — 𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓

tags: NO SPOILERS!, antihero! reader? i guess?, mention of blood, takes place before across the spider-verse, will be edited, one mention of something sexual but nonetheless mdni anything else I’ll let you read to find out <3

author’s note: helllooooo everyone! this is the longest thing i’ve written for my blog yet. he’s been rotting my brain heavily and i needed it to spill out somewhere. do let me know if you enjoy what’s implied and if you’d like more. a lil vague incase there is a future series. I love this but at the same time……anyways- translations and taglist are at the bottom of the post. enjoy!

wc: 4.5k :: masterlist next

BZZT. BZZT.

“Miguel,” You purred. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“It’s Important.”

It always was. “…And what kind of call is this?”

“Work-related.”

You hum. “Pity.”

“You still have ways into Oscorp?”

“Always do.”

“Good, I got a job for you. Meet at the usual spot at 9.”

A chill runs down your spine from the light wind passing through the night. You awaited your contract atop the Alchemax building, looking down at the neon lit city below. It was bright with cybernetic blues and greens, every now and then you could hear a hover car or two whirl by, only to miss it blend into the rest of the blurs flying by. The sight could never bore you, not in how it could change every day. That was the nuance of Nueva York, after all. Nothing ever rests, not even the wicked.

Nor the man that lands behind you with a thud of his feet and a slight grunt. He walks to your side in silence, taking in the city as you do. The sharp points of his eyes narrow. “You’re sure you’ll be able to get in this time?”

You turn to send him a look. Your hand raises as a drive twirls around your finger. “If you thought I couldn’t, you wouldn’t have hired me.”

He lets out a dry huff you take as amusement. His head turns to look at you. “Alright, you got me there.”

You barely catch the way his hand flies out to grab the device from your hand. His reflexes were always quick, but in this rare moment, you were just a bit quicker. Your hand is mere centimeters away from his in the air, catching you both in surprise. Your shocked expression slowly turns to one of accomplishment. His mask shifts, but knowing him, he was deadpanning under it. You chuckle, placing the drive in a pouch among many holstered onto your thigh. His eyes drag up from it’s placement to your eyes. You place a hand to your hip. “You ready?”

He places a foot to the edge of the roof. “Will you be able to keep up?”

Now it was your turn to huff, placing a prepared foot out as well. “Always.”

He gives you a final look, a lingering one you can’t quite place your finger on. He takes off and you’re quick to follow. The route felt routine to you both at this point, jumping over small spaces between buildings that eventually begin to stretch in distance. Your feet rush in a dash, swiftly jumping over over air conditioners. Miguel takes to running on the side of the buildings before webbing back to the rooftops alongside you. The two of you move when a roof entrance divides you, the heroine using his webs to ease his momentum after jumping over another conditioner back to your side. You slide under piping, coming up to jump in unison to the final rooftop. He lands on his feet, while you need to roll to slow yourself down. Both of you rise at the same time, looking up to the greenly lit skyscraper with geometric lettering spelling ‘OSCORP’ on its side.

“Which floor?”

He responds with a nod to the higher top of the building. “84th.”

You tilt your head to think. “We’ll have to climb the back side of the building. There are enforced windows starting at level 80.”

You feel a hand on your waist, causing your head to whip in his direction. You had to crane your neck slightly to meet his eyes. “Thought you said this was work-related?”

“Hush, descarada. You know what I’m doing.”

You roll your eyes, discontent with him ruining your fun. You hook your leg at his waist and he moves his hand to lower back to keep you stable. With one arm he’s able to secure you at his hip. You hook your arms around his neck and you both look up at each other. Curse how close he is and the way his voice gets low to affirm to you. “You good?”

You nod. “Yeah.”

His free hand shoots out a web, not wasting time with flying through the air. No matter how many times you’ve swung with him during an operation, your grip still tightens around him in a sudden jolt once you’re flying through gravity. The rush used to take your bones in a wave of nausea, but now it’s all adrenaline that flows through your body. You hoped that was why your heart quickened just then.

Miguel goes by your instructions, swing to the back of the building. From there, he gets you both to the windows of the 80th floor. You let out a breath of relief at the emptiness of the lab. Pulling your gadget from your other thigh holster. It had a metal hook at its end and with one push of a button, it closes in its claws for something thinner with a green light atop it. Your thumb rolls back the dial on its side, clicking another button. In a green flash, the two of you are inside the lab floor, silent and desolate. Your gadget goes back to your thigh, turning over your shoulder for any signs of trouble.

“Are you ever gonna tell me where you got that thing?”

You turn to look at him, a playful shrug rolling off your shoulders. “You looking to buy one?”

He sets his hands in the air, immediately shaking his head. “Nevermind-”

“I mean if you really are looking to, I can get you set up-”

“No, no, I already know wherever you got it, I don’t need nor do I want to know.”

You let out a quiet laugh. “Miguel? Breaking one of his rules— what was it again?” You place a hand under your chin. “Oh yes, ‘don’t ask questions’?”

“And you’re all the more reason why the rule still applies.”

You both reach the emergency stairs however, a handprint was needed to unlock the door. You pull a small glowing blue rectangle that looks similar to glass. A press of your thumb and a hologram emits from it. You give it a swipe, the image shifting through dozens of handprints. You stop at a familiar bulky one. Facing the glass device to the lock, it takes the holographic limb into its code and clicks to unlock.

“How does it know it’s real?”

“You lurk around the underground long enough, and you’ll see that people are in the market for all kinds of things.” You place the glass back into your pocket. “Holographic or fake skin included.”

Miguel raises a brow— not to say it wasn’t possible. He’s sure that with the right elements, tools, it could be possible. But how people got ahold things like that weren’t out of the highly advanced labs he worked in, he didn’t know. The thought only made his stomach turn. Maybe he should stick to his own rules.

You both head up the steps, going from level 80 to level 84. From the window of the door, the two of you peer out to see an empty floor. It was safe to say that it seemed too easy. Only a few guards patrolling up and down in their routines. You look to Miguel, who looks right back at you. You shrug. “There’s always a patrol going on.”

He looks back to the glass. “Seems more than usual.”

“Maybe it’s because they’re starting to notice a few things going missing.”

“….Maybe.”

You tilt your head at him. “What? You can’t take them?”

His head turns to you, the red of his mask narrowing. “I can take them.”

You smile at his annoyed tone, patting his strong shoulder.

The hallway is silent for the six guards on duty tonight, say for the air conditioner buzzing in the background. Guns are held strong in their grip, pacing back and forth in their routine.

THWHIP!

Three lines of webs block the muzzles of three guns. The guards get tense, looking up to see where the webs came from. They didn’t have time to think, much less act— the lines steal their weapons from their hands, clanking to the ground along with a guard. The other three guards turn, only for their muzzles to be stuffed with webs as well. You slide past the first three, going for the second row. In your hands were clear cut batons, whacking at two guards’ knees. Your baton lets out a hard crack from an upper cut from below and dropping a guard in an instant. You use your hand to balance yourself as your calves lock around the other guard’s neck. You flip him down to the ground, landing you in a kneeled position to throw your baton into the nose of the final upcoming guard.

With a hard smack, he goes to the ground. You stand on your feet, walking over to grab the baton. You turn to Miguel, who’s got his three guards tied up. You look down to the baton, a red liquid causing your stomach to fall. Turning back, you see the guard’s nose as the source. Panic settles in your head, until you see his chest rise and fall. You let out a sigh of relief, quickly wiping the blood off of on the latex of your thigh. You look up to see Miguel, who finally turns to you after you it clean. You share a look to each other before you shrug. “Poor bastards.”

You both begin walking to down the hall to the entrance when he responds. “Never saw it coming.”

The steel doors greet you with shiny meshed reflections of your bodies. You use the holographic glass again, and the doors slide open with a cool hiss. The lab was vast, with a control center in the middle with scaled monitors larger than you both. They light the space in a light blue hue spreading to its very corners. You both approach the system after a cautious walk.

“Think it’s my turn to show off.” The spiderman pulls his wrist device into view, displaying a small gold hologram and pressing away at data.

You lean back with the computer behind you, arms crossed. “Oh really?”

“Mhm.”

“Was I showing off before?” You ask with a playful tone.

He huffs at your words, tapping away until his tech. After a moment, his hand goes out. You know he wants the drive, but making things easy for him was never something that entertained you. Your finger raises with the drive’s key ring around it, waving it. “Please?”

“Do you take anything seriously?”

“None of that sounded like please.”

You sense another deadpan across his face. You roll your eyes, throwing into his grasp. “Don’t act like you’re not familiar with the word, now.”

He starts a little, whipping his head back to the computer system. You hear him grumble under his breath, something along the lines of “-mierda, me llevarás a la tumba-”

It causes you to let out another laugh for the night, a sound that he’s gotten used to.

You watch as he plugs the drive into an insert in the computer’s system. Various windows of information pop up on the monitors, lines of words you don’t exactly understand in a quick scan from your eyes before it vanishes. It wasn’t your job to know anyhow. Whatever a client needed, whatever he hires you for, is a trade of information for his eyes only. That never stopped your curiosity however.

You look away, eyes set to the steel doors. A ponding in your chest for the unexpected, only soothed somewhat with his company next to you in the long moment of silence.

The look on your face soon narrows as he’s still at work. “Almost done?”

“Yeah, just waiting for it to give me access.”

“To?”

“A chip.” He states plainly.

You open your mouth to ask more questions, only for you to be stopped by his body tensing. You raise a brow to him and you follow his line of sight back to the steel doors. The two of you remain eerily still, awaiting what was the cause for his tension. It was quiet, but you knew better than to trust that over his enhanced senses. You both glance to each other with caution.

You start. “Is someone-”

He tenses much worse this time, on guard in a flash. “Yes, they’re outside the door with-!”

The doors open and from its crack is thrown a silver canister. As soon as it hits the ground, a clouded air is released. Your nerves feel like they’ve gone ablaze. A hiss cuts into your thoughts, causing you both to turn to the computer. A capsule releases from system, and you grab what you assume is the chip he needs. The smoke only grows larger in size. Before you can say a word, he gets close, a hand over your nose and mouth. He tells you in a low voice of urgency. “Behind the computer, now.”

You both move quickly, his hand still atop your face. Placing your backs to the monitors, you try and take a moment to regain your mind for a plan. It’s difficult when you feel your heart try to rip out of your chest. Your eyes glance up to him as his body remains close to yours, an ear out to the approaching sounds.

“We’re going to have to-”

A clank sound interrupts him as another canister lands right in front of you both. Smoke begins to seep out of it at a rapid pace. Your throat began to burn, eyes watering as you tried to force down a cough. It was no use, you erupt with the sound out of reflex. He looks to you. “Don’t-”

His spider senses take in the next one being thrown and shoves you to the other side of the lab. He kicks the second one far from either of you. When the third one flies in the air, a web grabs hold of it and throws it back over the computer, where grunts and yells could be heard. In the mists of getting control of your vision, you hear him yell to you. “Go! The stairs!”

You scrape up to your feet, and the last thing he sees of you is your fleeing backside.

Miguel was a natural in situations under pressure. He had been in labs with mixtures of chemicals that would have to be settled in seconds, fought against robots and maniacs. He could handle this.

His face remained focused, shooting out webs as soon as an idea flew through his head. The sticky components lands on a lab stool, and with a grunt, he swings it into the back of the computer monitor. It flickers in its blue light, cracking and falling in the way of the assailants. He turns, eyes darting around the environment. His eyes light up to the emergency exit, with no other choice but to push through it.

A climb of walls, a sling from webs up the steps, and the Spider-man busts the rooftop door. Whirls of technology snap his attention to what’s in front of him— light blaring in his face with a large amount of guards surrounding him.

Miguel was a natural in situations under pressure. He’s done plenty of operations, fought when the world was a blur around him hundreds of feet in the sky. A wave of guards what a slight to his determination, but his mind…was elsewhere. He removes most of their weapons out of the equation, taking them in clusters with his webs. He lands a punch here, and slam with his glowing webs there. He had yet to see you or hear you yell out to him. Hand to hand combat increased, blows getting harder in their impact, grunts slipping past his lips out of increasing frustration. It felt like there was no end in sight, not that it mattered anyhow. His mind felt as though it was sinking in the tangled ropes of his paranoia. The longer time went by, the more restless Miguel got and the more determined he was to get through his enemies with vigor.

“I GOT IT!”

You shout from across the rooftop, the chip in your clasped hand. A red and blue mask turns to in your direction, relief washing over him like a flood. Between you both were many henchmen flooding from the roof’s entrance, all set to standing in your way. He nods to you through the chaos, and you nod back. The two of you run on the sidelines until you hear Miguel faintly shout. “Get over here!”

“Working on it!” You shout back. Eyes dart through the growing group of goons to find a clear path. His eyes are set on you the whole time, watching your face as the cogs go to work.

Your eyes squint, heart beating out of your chest, but you have a plan— somewhat. You knee one person out of the way, moving through the space to shove through a few more. Two step right in front of you. Not losing your momentum, you sweep your leg under one of them and use that same leg to balance the other into a high kick. It creates somewhat of a clear path for you, trying to get closer and closer to the man you’ve been working with all night. You catch a glance of him pummeling through a few men, giving you a slight of relief and all the more determination to pull through.

You’re almost there, goons try to grasp at your suit, tools, or mask, and you’re barely able avoid their invasive touches. You waste no time pulling out your hooked tool, clicking a button to throw out a long thick wire. It wraps around the ankle of a man and you pull hard. He falls, knocking into others like pins as he’s dragged across the concrete. Your path has never been more clearer. You click your wire back into your tool, eyes catching Miguel’s.

He takes out one more enemy before jumping off of the roof. Your feet quicken, taking after him and taking your leap.

The skyscraper’s height furthered your velocity downward. Wind blew into your face, strong in its force. Your tool wouldn’t be far enough to reach the buildings surrounding you. Your body reacted, stomach twisting and turning in an effort to scream at you the very danger you were in. But you? You calmly shut your eyes.

In an instant, a strong arm catches you as intended. You open your eyes, hooking your arms around his neck to secure yourself to his body. You squeeze the device you both needed into your palm to confirm your grip. With one hand, he swings from building to building to ensure some distance between you and Oscorp. After a few more buildings, Miguel slows down to a roof with a large neon sign right at its front. The momentum fades, allowing you both to land behind the bright lettering.

You pull away from his side, hands going to your hips as you caught your breath. Your chest rises and falls with rough exhales while he was silent in gathering his own air. After a while, you catch his voice speaking to you. “You still have it?”

You swallow, nodding and throwing the device to him. He catches it with ease. His large fingers examine the data card. Gold lines so microscopic but filled with the intelligence needed for his work to protect others. He slips it away into an empty wrist capsule, eyes flickering back up to you.

You placed your back against the sign only a few steps away from him, chest slowing to normalcy. Your eyelids were low, lashes soft in their curl. He gains his focus back when your irises appear from them.

“How many times do I have to catch you staring for you to realize you’re terrible at being subtle?”

Your teasing words cause his mask to shift, knowing all too well he was displaying his usual frown. “I can be subtle. You, on the other hand, can’t turn on a filter if you had one.”

An amused smile appears on your face, causing another sudden wave of relief over him. You take a glance to the sky before looking back at him. “Yeah, but that hasn’t kept you away now has it?”

Miguel grunts, and you turn your head away with a laugh.

The back of the neon sign behind you illuminates strongly in the night, red light seeping through the crevasses of the letters to give your vision clarity. Your body regained air in your lungs but the bruising was beginning to ache from your complications from getting to the roof. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Miguel’s arm holding his side. Your brows scrunch together. Just what was so important to risk a hailstorm raised on them from Oscorp? You knew from your previous encounters, that he wasn’t just hitting the large corporation, but any place with the highest level of technology in the city.

You begin after a beat of silence. “I mean, I can’t have some idea of what you get from the jobs you-?“

“No, you don’t”

Your eyes turn to a glare. “Watch that tone.”

“You know, you being demanding isn’t exactly an ease to deal with-”

“Would you like to do something about that?” You take a step closer, looking up to his tall stature. Your gaze is set to where his eyes were, feeling his eyes look directly back at you.

“I..” His brows knit together. You know what you meant, he knew what you meant. It takes him a second to speak with a retort, locking his jaw. “…not here.”

You purposely look to his masked lips, then back to his eyes. “…Thought so.”

Miguel takes a hard and long swallow, shutting his eyes.

"So, what's the deal with that chip?" You ask.

Miguel opens his eyes when he clears the clouding in his mind. Not fully, but enough to attain what you asked. He hesitates for a moment before responding. "It's...complicated. Let's just say it's valuable and leave it at that."

You raise an eyebrow, sensing there's more to the story. "Valuable how?"

Miguel shakes his head. "I can't say. It's not safe."

You cross your arms. “What we did tonight, or what we do every other night for that matter, isn’t safe either.”

“I know that but-” He lets out a sigh of frustration, his mask fading off his face in squares of blue light. Words never were his strong suit and his paranoia didn’t help his case on which words to choose. Or for you to know what he has planned. You were different, he knew that. And yet, he still eyed you with caution. It was in his nature.

You look him the eye, knowing he was weighing his options in his head. His jaw relaxes, voice settling into a softer tone. “I’m doing what I’m doing to protect people. All the things I’ve had you get? They help with that. You know I’m not- building some criminal empire or making some kind of genetic super weapon-”

“Really? Because those were only two of my theories-”

“I’m not-” To others, they would take his tone as immediate annoyance. But you know it’s laced with a slight of amusement that immediately disappears.

He hopes it’s enough to satisfy you, to keep you out the possibilities of pulling into a growing web of complications. But he knew you just as much as you did him, both akin to an unshakable stubbornness.

“I think you can do better than that.” You step forward into his space again. His larger stature is unmoving, but he could feel warmth radiate from your body at the familiar closeness. His eyes go down to yours, crimson irises slowly loosing their sharp edge the longer your gazes are on each other.

“We said we don’t owe each other anything…no matter what we do with one other. And I get that.” You tilt your head at him. “But if more jobs end like tonight, and I can barely catch an escape-“

He’s quick to respond. “I won’t let that happen-“

“-But if,” You emphasize. “That starts to become an occurrence, I at least want to know exactly what I’m sticking my neck out for.”

He looks to your features, scanning over your unwavering expression. You can’t help but look at the way he presses his lips together. Miguel locks his jaw to think, perhaps he’d do so in order to keep the words from coming out. Eventually, he lets out a sigh. “A super computer.”

Your face scrunches, brow slowly going up. “A…super computer?”

He mutters, still looking down at you. “Yes.”

“To protect people?”

“To protect people.”

His voice was firm, supposedly closing the door as quickly as it opens. You study him, trying to go over your past jobs to try to piece an explanation together. Sadly, you couldn’t. The path you’ve gone down, your lives beginning to intertwine like a binding threads— you knew that finding out what he was up to would be wary road.

Eventually letting out a sigh, you’re disappointed but understanding. "That’ll do I suppose.”

He watches you take a step back from him, back leaning against the sign. Out of the corner of your eye, you see that he follows suit. You both look out to the vast city, lights greeting your wandering gaze once again. The two of you sit in silence for a few minutes before you speak up. "You know, for someone who's always so serious, your fleeting sense of humor is enjoyable.”

Miguel huffs, chuckling soon after. "Is that your way of saying I'm not as boring as you thought?"

You grin, a sight he appreciates after your tenacious standstill. "Oh I’ve never found you boring. In need of a good fuck to let loose? Definitely.”

Miguel rolls his eyes, but there's a hint of enjoyment in his tone. "I'm plenty loose when I need to be."

You laugh. "Sure you are. That's why you're always so tense."

Miguel smirks. "I'm not tense. I'm focused."

You give him a playful shove. "Whatever you say, Spider-man."

translations: descarada (minx), mierda, me llevarás a la tumba (fucking hell, you’ll be the death of me)

taglist: @manchuria @mezzke @rea-zxv @vvitcxen @pooiooi @jowtaro @coleseyebrows

[ms-demeanor]

Generally speaking I try not to be annoyed at tumblr features experiments but also removing avatars in certain contexts is so funny I'm sorry it has been ten years and I don't know anyone's handle, I love you, approximate shapes and colors with a series of letters after.

Like most feature updates, there's a post about this on @changes and this is something that is in the lab, not being rolled out for everyone. But my good sir, this is the website for Jared, 19, and if you take our pictures away we will have no choice but to piss on the poor (our dear friends whose tone we read wrong because that's not blue swirly on a black background or still from an anime I'm not familiar with or geometric orange owl; that's some rando whose name I have never read and retained once in my life and what right do they have to call me a corndog stabbing bitch, that level of insult is reserved for my bosom mutuals, trans pride mandelbrot and dual bunsen burners).

I'm not worried that this will become widespread, but I do think it's very funny.

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Conflicted: Final Part

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.3k

Summary: It’s hard convincing people what you can see without the physical proof to back it up. You immediately know who the unsub is, but you have to wait for everyone to catch up to you. How can you make them see what you see?

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated

x

"State your name."

"Adam Jackson."

"What color are your eyes?"

"Green."

"Where were you the night Carl Cade was killed?"

"At work."

"Who is the current president of the United States?"

"Barack Obama."

"Did you murder Dan Keller?"

"No."

"Did you murder William Browder?"

"No."

"What is thirty-two minus nineteen?"

This is where it gets interesting. Something clicks in Adam's mind. It's only for a split second, but you see the subtle change in his attitude. He tries to hide it, which is why it goes unnoticed by Spencer.

"I don't know."

"Would you kill for Julie?"

"No."

"You lied about the altercation with William. Is there anything else you've lied about?"

"No."

"Did you murder Dan Keller?"

"No."

"What time did you leave work the night William was killed?"

"I don't remember," Adam stutters.

"Have you ever had a sexual relationship with Julie?"

"No."

"Did you murder Carl Cade?"

"No."

"Using the formula y equals mx plus b, what does b represent?"

"I don't know."

"Did you murder Carl Cade?"

"No."

"Did you murder William Browder?"

"No."

"Would you kill for Julie?"

"No."

This is getting nowhere. You and Spencer take a break and give someone else a try with the questioning until almost two hours have passed. Julie and Adam are free to go since there is no hard proof that either of them was involved with the murders. While they are signing out at the front, your team is watching the videos play back not far from them. You can still see Adam from where you are, and your eyes haven't left his since he got to the desk.

Spencer plays back the video again, paying close attention to Adam.

"What are you looking at?" JJ asks.

"I'm not sure."

"Well, they both passed. With flying colors, I should say."

"The only spike I got on Adam was from a control question regarding geometric equations, but I think I just flustered him. Either way, we got nothing."

Spencer looks at Adam who is staring at you and him. There is something in his eyes that tells you Adam is no longer in the building. He has that look about him that screams dominance, but he and Julie are already out the door before you can question it. Spencer sees the same thing you did, and he pulls up the security footage from when Adam tackled William into the pool.

"So, where are we now?" Derek asks.

"Honestly? Nowhere. We just watched our two most viable suspects walk out the door."

"If Adam isn't our unsub, he has all the makings to become one someday."

"Tell me the question that he spiked under in the polygraph," Spencer says. "It was a geometric equation, right?"

"Reid, I really think he was just intimidated. He tried and got it wrong, but he wasn't supposed to know the answer anyway."

"What if he lied? What if he knew the answer but intentionally got it wrong?"

"Why would he do that?" JJ asks.

"Because he realized that he wouldn't know the answer."

"You're losing me, kid."

"Adam said he wasn't getting any rest. He takes midday naps because he's always exhausted. He has a history of blackouts, reclusive behavior, and prolonged repeated abuse suffered at the hands of a dominant male who transferred abuse from his female spouse to his prepubescent child. What if our unsub couple isn't a couple at all? I think Y/N is right. He has another personality in his head."

All eyes are on you and all you can do is shrug.

"You had to come to that conclusion on your own. You say we're a team but right now doesn't feel like it. Excuse me."

You leave the group to grab some air outside. Everyone feels bad for not listening to you but it's hard with this job since they need proof and facts, not intuition even if they believe you or not.

"We've seen this before."

"Check this out. The first intervention is timid and apprehensive, right? Then, he gets knocked down. There's a moment of calm, and then his entire body language changes. I saw this exact same transformation when Adam left the station. Only it wasn't rage, it was arrogance. Like the alter ego wanted me to know."

"Why?" Hotch asks.

"I don't know. Maybe for power or control. All I know is the person that stared me down over there was not Adam. He's not assertive like that. He doesn't make eye contact."

"You think the stress of the interrogation blurred the line between Adam and his alter personality?" Emily asks.

"I think the unsub surfaced for just a moment. It knew the answer to the question, realized Adam wouldn't, and lied. Y/N was right. We profiled the duo accurately, only the dominant personality is inside of Adam."

"Adam has no idea he killed all those people."

"You could argue that Adam didn't kill those people. A separate person inside of him did. It's what Y/N was trying to tell us this entire time."

"Everyone, go over to the Hudson Street Hotel. I'll be right back."

Hotch leaves and finds you outside sitting on the bench just staring at the street. He takes a seat next to you, and you look at him with a sigh.

"I feel like we always seem to have these conversations."

"I'm sorry we didn't believe you."

"It's not that. You guys will never understand what I see on a daily basis. You'll never truly understand how energies and spirits work, and I get that. I am here today because I want to help take down the bad guys and save as many people as I can. You allowed me onto this team for what I can bring to it. I am grateful for the opportunity you have given me.

"I've spent my whole life relying on my gift and using what I see to my advantage. I never had to gather hard evidence because I never needed to. Just as much as you're learning from me, I'm learning from you. I don't know what it's like to see a crime scene and to only know what's physically in front of me. I've never had to piece the puzzle together because I see it whole.

"I know what the law is. I know a judge needs evidence and proof to put someone away. Sometimes I forget that. So, you had to come to that conclusion about Adam on your own. I can give my input but I needed everyone on the same page for us to move forward as a team. You're doing a good job, Hotch. I'm sorry for what I said. We are a team."

"Let's call this a learning experience for us both, yeah?"

"I promise to do better and to gather all the evidence before coming to you."

"No, still come to me. I actually enjoy seeing your view on things."

With that out of the way, you get ready with the rest of the team to head over to the hotel. There are police sirens and ambulances there when you arrive, and you rush to the back to see what the commotion is. Julie is lying on the ground covered in blood because she was pushed off the roof. You look up and see Adam on the roof with an evil look in his eyes. Though, when he mists away, you know he's not actually up there.

"Julie, can you hear me?" Hotch asks carefully.

"Adam..."

"Help is right outside. I need you not to move."

"It wasn't him... strange.

"Julie, did he say where he was going?"

"He called himself Amanda."

"That's his other personality," you say to Hotch.

"Where would he go?"

"Not he, she. Amanda panicked. She knew we would connect this to her."

"Okay, so she's feeling the pressure. She obviously knows she's running out of time. Where would she go?"

"She's gonna go after the man these victims represent."

Amanda is going back to Mark Harrison's house to finally deal with the root of all hers and Adam's problems. He is the reason why Amanda was created in the first place. Penelope sends over the address for Mark, and half of you head over there immediately. The other half stay with Julie in case Adam comes back for her. When you get to Marks' house, you see him bound and gagged to a chair with a bag over his head. Adam is standing next to him with a knife in his hands, but it's not Adam.

It's Amanda.

"Amanda put the knife down."

"Stand back or I'll kill him," Adam says in a feminine voice.

"You do not want to do that."

"You don't know what he did!"

"When Adam's mother died, his stepfather needed a new outlet for his aggression. He put Adam in dresses, beat him, and touched him. Adam was too weak to go through all of that alone. He was just a little boy. He needed me to protect him. I could take it. I was stronger than he was. He deserves to die," Amanda says angrily.

"Amanda, that is not for you to decide. I swear to God, if you put him down and you come with me, I will get you and Adam the help that you guys need."

"Adam will be sentenced for what I've done. No, I can't let that happen."

Amanda lets Mark go and puts the knife to her throat instead. She'll kill Adam rather than watch him go to prison.

"If you kill yourself, you kill Adam. I don't see how that's protecting him. Do you know what I know? I know that all you want to do in this world Is protect Adam."

"It's all I've ever done."

"Then why don't you and I help him together?"

"You can't help him. I'm the only one. I know what I have to do. I will keep him safe forever."

Amanda drops the knife so that Derek can move in to arrest her, but the look in her eyes suggests that she is never letting Adam out of her mind. He will be locked away in his own mind for however long Amanda decides. Spencer rushes over and tries to find the shred of Adam left, but he's gone and you don't think he's coming back.

"Reid, he's gone," you sigh.

Spencer is taking this harder than you thought he would, and you don't know why. While everyone else is focused on arresting Adam and trying to get Amanda to release him, you approach Spencer who is off to the side by himself.

"Hey, what's going on in that big brain of yours?"

"We've taken the victim into custody and let the abuser go free. I don't really see that as much of a win."

"A lot of lives are gonna be saved now that Amanda's off the street. You know that."

"I should have listened to you. I should have known."

"You needed to come to the conclusion on your own, but this is more than just Adam. What else is going on?"

"Tobias Hankel."

"Tobias drugged and tortured you for two days. He almost killed you."

"No, he didn't. The personality of his father did those things to me. The real Tobias saved my life. He brought me back from the dead. I know that Adam is still locked inside his own head somewhere."

"Baby, people with DID are never black-and-white cases. There's always going to be a 'good' personality or someone who is innocent in all of this. It sucks but sometimes, we can't save everyone. Imagine a world if we could."

"Yeah, I guess," he sighs.

"Look, we're in Corpus Christi. The case is over with. My reunion is right around the corner. If you're up for it, would you be my date?"

"I think I can do that," he smiles.

The rest of the team flies out of Corpus Christi that night so they can get home faster, but you and Spencer stay to enjoy a night of memories and old friends. You'll fly back after the reunion and maybe spend the night on the beach or something; something romantic with Spencer before returning to your life.

The reunion is being held at a banquet hall where half your class is already there. Spencer heads straight for the bathroom while you look around for some familiar faces. Sitting by himself in the back is the kid who was being beaten by his dad. He hated you for accidentally telling everyone this even though you never meant to. People were eavesdropping; how is that your fault?

Still, you walk over to him in hopes he's not still mad at you over what happened thirteen years ago.

"Sean?"

"Y/N?"

"I didn't think you'd remember me, honestly."

"How could I forget the woman who saw what no one else did?"

"So, I'm guessing you're not mad at me anymore?"

"Not at all. How have you been? What do you do?"

"I've been good. I'm in the FBI, actually. We just got done with a case just in time for this reunion," you chuckle. "What about you? Are you here with anyone?"

"I'm here by myself. I actually have my own graphic design business." He hands you his business card with a smile. "I do a lot of designs for bands and websites and other things."

"That's amazing."

"Are you here with anyone?"

"My boyfriend is in the bathroom. He told me I should come to this. I wasn't even going to go. To be honest, my time at that school wasn't the best as you know."

"About that, I just want to say I'm sorry. You're the only one who ever saw there was something wrong. Because of you, I finally stood up to my dad and left. I never looked back."

"I'm happy for you. If you're ever in the Quantico area of Virginia, I'd love to take you out and catch up."

"Yeah, that sounds awesome," he chuckles.

"There you are." Spencer comes back from the bathroom. "This place is a maze."

"Sean, meet my boyfriend, Spencer. Spencer, this is Sean, one of my classmates."

"You're very lucky, man."

"I know," Spencer smiles and pulls you closer to him.

Spencer was right, this is giving you closure you never knew you needed. High school was such a long time ago that you don't need to ever worry about what anyone else is doing. You have an amazing boyfriend, a super cool job, and a life you wouldn't trade for anything.

"Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." - Stephen King

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[notapplicableinformation]

Appraisal of the Character designs in Super Paper Mario

There are an array of attributes from this game that I favour, one of which being how the designs are so non conventional to the general Mario design, yet are able to create very refined impressions of the individual characters in the story. 

Super Paper Mario has a unique style exclusive to this entry in the paper Mario series, the geometric design is one I find charming, and well utilised, even though it contrasts so very heavily towards the more smooth traditional Mario characters.

One way I believe that Super Paper Mario’s design is well crafted would be through the implementation of Shape theory to create intricate impressions of its pressing as well as original cast.

Shape theory generally states that: 

Circles are generally used to convey organic and natural shapes, and are generally used to evoke welcoming and approachable feelings. Squares are generally used to evoke trust, support and reliability, whilst triangular types of shapes are used to evoke a sense of intellect , unpredictability or fear. (Of course this is just the surface level, these shapes can be used to allude to entirely different impressions and serve different purposes across different contexts)

In prior Mario titles, generally, the designs would be lenient on a more smooth tone, even for the antagonists. (Bowser is generally not presented as an overly intimidating character, especially not really in the RPG series, even when he’s doing something evil, he lacks this sense of REALLY being taken seriously) The smooth tone of the characters enlightens the mood and provides a sense of consistency across the designs in the franchise, but this game deviates a lot from the general design basis of the Mario world, and I think the game does a good job at achieving this.

The best example of this I believe would be the designs of the Count Bleck team. 

The designs are all very visually distinct, all being of different proportions with a minimalistic amount of detail to convey the personalities of the characters quite well. The Count Bleck team are built with mostly squares, which helps enhance the stability and trust visually that the minions and Count Bleck have with one another. This is an interesting constant for the antagonists except for with Dimentio. (Mr.L doesn’t count, he’s Luigi.)

Shape theory provides the visual incentive that, by design alone, that there is something off with his character. He’s not quadrilateral like the other minions and is far more angular, visually implying that he may not be as loyal to the Count as the others. (His angular design also serves as a great dichotomy towards his nonsensical dialogue, the angular design contributes towards making Dimentio a more intimidating threat. The manga takes a different approach with his design, changing it for a drastic lack of edges, which changes his impression drastically to me through design alone.)

I also like that the villains have a very distinctive palette that works well with one another.

(Funnily enough, one of the only annoying parts I have with the colour coordination is why they didn’t give Mimi either different coloured legs/arms or why they didn’t give them an outline, as she looks like a floating torso and head when in the dark Bleck meetings, ha ha)

The main and really only “ issue” that I do have with the geometric designs would be that of the scattered NPCs, but I don’t think it’s worth noting too much. The previous titles poured more emphasis to the design of the NPCs as they were games predominantly about the adventure as opposed to the destination. Thousand year door implores adventure, and uses very versatile and diverse character designs to immerse you into the worlds you explore. Super sticks to pouring its efforts into the story as opposed to really the worlds you explore. The NPCs being a bit…uninteresting, flat if you will, may have been to prevent distraction of the player to the key goal of the story, and the key narrative between Bleck and Tippi. 

Overall, I love the design of this game and think it’s very original. I haven’t seen many geometric styles utilised across media, but I think this is very well done. 

What are your thoughts on the designs of this peculiar title? Have a nice day!

[crayonkant]

The space for light

George Saunders, my favorite teacher of writing, believes in our innate intelligence as readers to know when a story is interesting or not. The experience comes in understanding the why behind our reaction, and the craft in tweaking the story just the right way so that at the next reading it is more fun.

I might not have a lot of self-confidence in other areas of my life, but I do trust my intelligence as a reader. Saezuru is without a doubt an interesting story. For all its dark and heavy content, I’d like to argue that it is also a luminous story. It does not feel like the warm light of a sensual sunset, but like the bright cool light of an end of summer morning, concentrated on your desk in the spaces between the leaves’ shadows.

I’ve read other very good stories with a similar thematic that made me want to take a shower while watching cat videos. I’ve never had this reaction with Saezuru. I recognize the limitations of generalizing from an individual experience, but I’ll do it anyways…

I admire Yoneda Kou for the space she holds in the story for ‘the light’: humans’ positive qualities, humor, beauty, change, redemption. We see this light at the level of the plot - the bad guys tend to loose; the characters- they grow, become more beautiful or stronger, and they never loose their dignity even when they are abused and violated; the poetic dialogue; and the precise, elegant art.

I’ve recently become a fan of a mangaka whose work I’ve previously encountered and avoided because I had a visceral rejection of the art style. Because a manga story is composed in a visual medium, there is an instant emotional reaction to the art before we read the first word. The line work in Saezuru is detailed, precise and even. Sharp black/white contrast is used sparingly. Instead, grey tones soften the panels. There is white space on almost every page. I think that the elegance, geometric balance and color nuance of the art makes the heaviness of the story bearable. It lightens and cools.

Do you agree?

[uptoolateart]

Ladybug Never Makes a Mistake

So, a lot of us feel that Marinette / Ladybug can sometimes be too controlling, yes?? What divides us, maybe, is whether or not we forgive her for it. I’m on the side of forgiveness, and I want to explain why.

First, Marinette is only 14, and she has plenty of time to grow. We all did stupid things at that age, and even older than that.

But more than that - I think Marinette does what a lot of people do: she tries to control what she can, when it feels like the bigger things in her life are spiralling out of control.  For all that Adrien gets called ‘perfect’, the true perfectionist is Marinette.

The worse things get, the more she takes charge. The Cat Blanc secret she’s keeping? She’s terrified of what will happen if she lets the cat out of the bag (I couldn’t resist). That plan to get Cat’s identity, in ‘Ephemeral’? Absolutely awful - but also, that was her feeling powerless under Su-Han’s threat balanced with her vows to Master Fu.

She’s always had this streak in her. Think of her as Marinette, needing to wear her lucky socks or orchestrating complex scenarios involving romantic carriages, just to tell a boy she likes him. It’s not ‘stalking’. More like if she can control all the variables, maybe she’ll get the outcome she wants. She’s terrified of the unpredictable...because she’s afraid she won’t know what to do with it and will make a mistake with huge consequences.

When she became Guardian, this tendency got so much worse - because the stakes were raised. The more pressure heaped on her shoulders, the more she tried to control things, so that she felt more able to cope with her new responsibilities. By the end of S4, when she had her breakdown, what we saw was her feeling totally out of control, with no idea what to do anymore. She needed Cat to step in and take control again, to give her the security she suddenly lacked.

In S5, I think we’ve seen a less controlling Ladybug. She’s not all the way there yet, but she’s definitely changed. When she gave Cat the rabbit miraculous, for instance, that was a moment of her letting go and giving away. That kiss in ‘Elation’ was her giving in to her feelings and letting loose. She finally allowed herself to have some fun. She then gave in to akumatisation - and while this obviously wasn’t good, it was her allowing herself to feel all the stress that had been piling up on her for so long.

What triggered all this was the loss of most of the miraculous. And here’s where it gets interesting. I think losing the miraculous was a blessing in disguise - the thing Marinette needed to teach her to let go. Significantly, this moment of loss leads her to admire Cat Noir...because he’s flexible. He’s strong like grass - he knows how to bend with the wind when the storm comes, and spring back up when stepped on.

There’s this Buddhist practice of creating beautiful mandalas (geometric designs) out of coloured sand sprinkled on the floor or a table. They will spend months on one picture. On completion, they destroy it with one swipe of the hand. And no, no one takes a photo first. It’s meant to be a lesson in impermanence - the fact that nothing is 100% secure and we can lose everything in the blink of an eye. Life is ephemeral. We need to be able to adapt.

If we think back to ‘Gamer 2.0′, Cat tells Ladybug she needs to enjoy playing. And at the end of the battle, what does he do? He lets himself fall. Just like he takes that leap of faith in ‘Lies’ - or as Adrien, in ‘Gorizilla’.

Cat Noir easily surrenders himself to the flow of life and has faith that, one way or another, it will all work out. While this attitude puts further pressure on Ladybug, we can see it as the opposite extreme to her. He lets go just as much as she holds on for dear life.

Don’t get me wrong. Symbolism aside, on a more practical level it’s good that in season 5 we’re seeing a more composed Cat Noir who values life and has faith in his own ideas and capabilities. But Ladybug / Marinette really needed to learn from him, too - and she’s still learning.

The end of ‘Strike Back’ was a good first step for her. She still has a way to go, but it’s all part of her character arc. I believe that as her confidence grows, her need for control will ease off. She’ll listen more to the input of others, as we are already starting to see. Ultimately, she will still be the one with a plan...but she’ll understand know that a plan isn’t always needed. Sometimes you just have to ride the waves and see where the current takes you.

[daylightcommand3]

This might be a hard question to answer, but have you thought about what TMNT 2036 would look like in terms of art style? Would you want it to be 2D animated or use 3D models? Would it be more "grungy" and geometric like 2012 and Mutant Mayhem, or more wild and expressive like Rise, or more grounded like 03? Is the style somehow completely new that it's hard to compare to the prior incarnations? Do you have any specific design notes for the specific characters that you didn't mention in your big post on the heroes? How "weird" do the turtles look, pretty standard or would they push the bar even further than Rise did in making them stand out? Splinter's always changes a lot, what's he supposed to look like?

Sorry if this is a tough thing to ask, I know it's hard to describe something like a visual style without any kind of existing reference. But I also wanna come as close as I can to getting the same mental image of this iteration that's in your hand, and... MAYBE no promises at all Whatsoever don't count on it, try to give it some manner of actual visual interpretation? I'd do it completely out of my own reading of what you've said already without me asking directly, but I felt the end result would be more accurate if I did.

Regardless, I'm excited to see what else you have in mind in general for this! For as fun as a franchise like TMNT is with how it reiterates old concepts in new ways, it's a little shocking to me I haven't seen more people suggest their own iterations. I'll be honest and say I'm a little baffled I haven't had any ideas for my own Turtles (though I DO have part of an Avengers incarnation I had some scattered ideas for, might get back to that eventually), so I'm very glad you're picking up the slack in that sense. I might chip in with potential ideas as I get them but for now I definitely wanna wait and hear what you have in mind for the basics first. Excited to hear more when you have it!

This IS a hard question to answer, but I don't mind at all (Thank you for the ask!). I don't have too much of a consistent style in my mind, but I do have a few stray thoughts.

In terms of design desire, I'd say it's most similar to TMNT 2012 (for obvious reasons) with the turtles being blatantly different, without it being exaggerated like Rise or arguably even Mutant Mayhem. They're rather bulky (TMNT 2012 levels of bulky with defined muscles). I don't know what exactly grungy looks like, but if it's anything like 2012/Mutant Mayhem then I suppose they are(?). I definitely can see the argument for a geometric art style (more in a bit). I would want them to look more standard. Yet my imagination has other plans.

I have no idea if it would be 2D or 3D animated.

I'll start with Mikey and Donnie for they share an interesting similarity: I can't stop seeing their Mutant Mayhem heads. Granted it's not exactly their Mutant Mayhem versions. My Mikey has a much bigger forehead, and has a skin tone much more similar to 2012. I really think it's his gangly/lanky body that remind me of the Mutant Mayhem version. Though I can also see my Mikey having his eyes more spaced apart. I'm actually kinda inspired by the original comics by having Mikey's forehead just be a lump on top of his head. Mikey is the tallest of the 4. Not sure how tall exactly. But his brother typically have to look UP at him. (Though if this gets changed to make their heights more consistent it's fine with me.)

(Just have his mask lower (like where this one's nose would be), and I'd think we'd be close to what's in my head.)

Also, despite me kinda picturing Mutant Mayhem Donnie, my Donnie DOES NOT HAVE GLASSES. I'm one of those people who don't like it when they add the classes to convey "nerd". Maybe a more circular head? I also want my Donnie to be kinda pathetic. He and Leo are about the same height. (Donnie may be slightly taller. Who knows.)

For Raph I have two main sources: @/nerves-nebula's drawings (warning: it heavily discusses and alludes to topics such as abuse/SA/incest, so proceed with your own caution). And Bowser Jr. In fact, whenever I imagine Raph, he's the only who doesn't have proper eyes. He just has two dots. Though for consistency sake its best if he does I imagine. To expand more on the Bowser Jr inspiration, he's also comically short. As big as Rise Raph is, 2036 Raph is small. He's like half the other turtle's height. I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, I much prefer it when the turtles are about the same height (akin to 2012). On the other hand, this is so much funnier. It makes the moments when he FNAF jumpscares a Foot soldier or other enemy much funnier. It also allows him to bite onto some poor enemy's arm and force them to shake him off. Raph is the main reason why I kinda want to make the turtles different species of turtles, as he's so inconsistent from the others.

Raph's head kinda reminds me of Trappinch. The visible mouth/teeth outline is ESSENTIAL. HE CHOMPS!!!!!

Though ultimately it's for the best if Raph loses being the most cartoony for being more consistent with his brothers.

I have no clue for Leo. Mutant Mayhem kinda fits. But it's not perfect. I really only have vibes to go off of. He's a unique blend of 2003, 2012, and Mutant Mayhem. He takes everything as seriously as 2003, but doesn't have the authority to actually do anything about it. This results in him being kinda whiny.

The shell size for the turtles is the same as 2012. Gives them normalish body proportions. But still allows them to full retract. I'd also like the shells to look rather tough (maybe 2003 tough?), because, just like (of all inspirations) the Micheal Bay movies, the turtles are bullet proof. BUT ONLY WHEN RETRACTED IN THEIR SHELLS. Fun fact: Being bulletproof is what forces most of the villains to use laser guns and stuff because that's the only thing that could theoretical pierce their shells. Bullets don't work on Splinter either because he just Matrix-dodges them all.

Speaking of Splinter, he's heavily inspired by his 2012 version proportions wise. Very tall (though Mikey is as tall as he is). His fur is a light brown, akin to early incarnations. Most of his height is in his tall, thin legs. I don't know why I keep coming back to this design feature, but I think it's funny. Chicken legs Splinter. His most vital design element is his mouth (nose/snout?) being super long as well. This mostly so when he puts on his "human" disguise (just a bunch of human clothing hiding his features), his face mask is stretched out to the point in looks like a cone.

My April is heavily inspired by Mutant Mayhem April. She may be a bit more bottom-heavy than MM April. I'm also don't see 2036 wearing glasses, but if it completes the look then I don't mind. Now, the most important part is her hair. It is specifically the 2003 April's shade of red. She dyes it that way. Her hairstyle is inconsistent in my mind, but it often looks similar to 2003 April's due to color association. Though I imagine one of her bangs(?) being much much much longer on one side of her head than the other.

My Casey has the muscle mass of 1987, the hair of 2003, and the iconic gap tooth of 2012. I can see her head often being more oblong. She's often seen in gray/light-blue tank top, pridefully showing off her arms. As stated before, her hockey mask is painted with a skull featuring a large crack.

Now, as a bonus, I'll go over two villains I ever so briefly mentioned in the heroes post.

Baxter Stockman mostly resembles his 2003 design, although he has 2012's mustache.

Oroku Saki is also heavily inspired by his 2003 design. Though he also has a bit of 2003 Hamato Yoshi in him too. Given that's he's Splinter's owner and all that. I really want Saki to just look like a normal guy. His Shredder armor is also heavily inspired by 2003. Unlike 2012, there is not an inch of skin visible. The most important part of the 2003 inspiration is the fact that you can only see his glowing eyes in the mask, though they're pure white in this incarnation (like the fortnite skin).

I also really like this helmet design in general.

The most important part of 2036 Saki is that he has 2012's vambraces. Those are the coolest shit in media. I'll be damned if my Shredder doesn't have those exact ones. INCLUDE THEM!!!!.

Oh, and by the way, here's a visual teaser for another iconic TMNT villain in my incarnation:

Well that's about everything I can think of. Once again, thank you so much for the ask! It feels great to get all these clashing and conflicting design elements off my chest. It means so much to me that people are interested in my ideas. And don't worry, I already got three 2036 posts in the works. And I welcome any of your ideas.

[rock-swag-tournament]

Preliminary Poll - Opal Varieties

More information under the cut!

Opal! Opal is technically NOT a mineral because it lacks one of the defining traits of minerals - a specific, ordered internal structure. Opal is amorphous, so the atoms are arranged randomly, they don't have a pattern to them that would make opal a mineral!

Chemically, opal is hydrous silica. Something fun about the preliminary polls is that aside from tourmaline and jade, all the other minerals included are essentially variations of quartz, which is really just silica. The chemical formula for quartz is SiO2 and the chemical formula for opal is SiO2 with H2O.

Opals in general are known for their iridescence (the shiny colors that change when you rotate an opal in your hand). This iridescence happens BECAUSE opal is not a mineral; the random internal structure makes it so that light reflects in all kinds of crazy ways.

About the listed opals themselves, Australian opals are the most common, because most opal comes from Australia. Australian opal is probably what most people think of when they think of opal: shiny, with bright pastel colors.

Ethiopian opals, meanwhile, tend to have more fiery colors (think fire opals) and are also hydrophane which means they absorb water.

Harlequin opals are opals where the iridescence looks like geometric shapes. Unfortunatly, I don't know what is happening on the microscopic level that creates these rhombohedral shapes in harlequin opals. Most of the information I'm sharing in these posts is stuff I already know from the classes I had to take in undergrad, or introductory-level facts that I've been able to summarize from Wikipedia pages or Mindat.org pages. That being said, I'm always willing to learn from people who know more than me or to do more of my own research if people have questions and aren't sure where to start looking (hint: Wiki and mindat are great places to START your research, regardless of what high-and-mighty teachers might say).

Lastly, opalized fossils are fossils where the organic material from a previously living organism is replaced by silica (in this case, specifically opal). Most often, fossils form when minerals of some kind (silica, carbonates, pyrite, etc) fill in the empty spaces of a dead organism, like the inside of a snail or bivalve shell. The opalization of fossils is only one way this process, called permineralization, can occur, but it sure is pretty!

[spidey-boyy]

i wanna talk about kamala’s suit in The Marvels, bc why did they change it???

the one in the show looked so good to me! the colors went well with each other and the material looked visably durable at least. i also liked the detailing and textures on it! it added to the style and her character. it made the suit specific to her and her culture since that’s such a big part of her story.

the new one is… eh.

the big thing for me is the colors- they feel duller. also the geometric lines especially on the arms and legs are kind of distracting. and looking at the second photo above, the detailing is there but it’s not too noticable. along with that, the first suit had different shapes and patterns for the detailing, and there was still places where it wasn’t used but it all went well together. the second one seems to have the same pattern all over and it’s not drawing my eye anywhere. 

and the mask!!! what happened to her mask!! (i mean, tbh i do think the second design does look better w/out a mask so i’m not too annoyed about exactly that, but more about the fact i thought they were going to have kamala keep more of a secret idenity thing.) ((also thought she was going to be more of a street hero, or maybe more on a similar level like ant-man, but that’s besides the piont.))

overall, i just think her first suit looks more interesting with the colors and with how everything works with each other. the gold lines popping out from the suit adds texture and the different blues used adds variety along with the fact that the blues only took up the torso part and the red was saved for the arms and legs.

the new one feels flat and not as exciting and i think it’s bc of the fabric- it’s thinner and it’s not reflecting light like the other one does. nothing is physically standing out from the other, the red section on the torso part blends into the legs, and the use of the three colors alone w/out different tones or anything adds to the feeling that everything is flat.

[beevean]

Let’s start with the peak of the show:

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Y’ALL LIKE BERSERK?????? WE SURE DO!!!!!! PLS LET US ADAPT IT!!!!!!!!!

no, don’t you touch my Berserk. But this scene is cool as hell. The rest of the season was a marked improvement over S2 and 3, but still hard to sludge through. This post is nowhere near as well structured as my previous ones (and even those were rambly) because I have just... mentally checked out. I think S3 broke me :(

One of the biggest problem of this season for me can be chalked back to one narrative choice: a time skip of six weeks. This was not a good choice, because now we see characters acting nothing like they did in previous seasons, and what should have been character development... just feels like OOCness. Some of the plots also feel rushed, probably because much more screentime is dedicated to fights now.

~

I’m so sorry, Trevor and Sypha, but you really got shafted in terms of story. Again.

Their subplot is the same as S3, helping a village: in this case Targoviste, the same where Lisa was executed. They extremely blatantly lampshade that all this time they did nothing but react instead of acting. Ngl, I skipped episode 7 because my god is their story boring. Yes, I shouldn’t have done that, but I really couldn’t stand it anymore. But I have to mention this scene:

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It’s so dumb lmao. This is the best Ellis could come up with to explain why vampires hate crosses. They hate geometrical forms. This is Twilight levels of pseudoscience.

The “swearing rant” would be funnier if Trevor were the only one to swear like a sailor. Oh, Sypha says “shit”? I did not forget how she mused that she could make Trevor drink her pee way back in S1.

I like how Death is foreshadowed, by introducing it as a mythical figure Trevor and Sypha come across. And even better, one of Varney’s first lines: “I was one of Dracula's first loyal followers!” You sure were :D ... well, were this canon Death. It’s not.

I also was genuinely surprised that the Alchemist in the Infinite Corridor was also Death... even though I myself remarked that she looked like she could be Death! Okay, that’s on me for not putting two and two together, but that was cool.

I don’t like how both Caesar and Abraham seem to know Varney out of nowhere, though. Things happen offscreen.

Oh, wait, I of course have to post this video:

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muh “at least it’s original”. Anyway, making him a superior villain using Dracula for his own means is an unnecessary change that devalues the original villain even more. But we're used to that.

Speaking of which, Jesus is their short time as the rebis hard to watch.

At least I have nothing bad to say about the Trevor vs. Death fight. Peak hype. Excellently done :>

St. Germain’s face heel turn is well foreshadowed. The Alchemist in the Infinite Corridor tells him that he can still has his morals, etics and soul left to sacrifice if he wants his wife back. And he says that he’d do anything to get her back...

I felt genuinely bad when he killed a librarian because he wouldn’t give him the information that he wanted, and he breaks down crying because he just murdered someone, and he’s starting to fall so low in his quest :(

Aaaaand he gives us this immortal line. Now this is what we call some true writing.mp4.

(I have no idea how Caesar came in contact with him though. Again, things happen offscreen.)

As a positive note, I did like how the second to last fight of the show took place in a clock tower, like in the original Castlevania :) and awww Trevor said "I love you!" to Sypha! Cuties <3 and they're going to have a child! My heart <3

~

Carmilla is back again! More or less. I sure didn’t miss her in S3. I’m very happy with her situation in S4, because she only appears in two episodes :)

She gives us the stupidest, pettiest villain rant she could give us, with the worst possible lead-in.

"Do you think Dracula would have kept Hector in his castle were he dangerous?"

"OH THE CASTLE. I SURE WOULD HAVE LOVED THAT CASTLE. HERE LET ME RANT ABOUT THE STUPID OLD MEN I WANT TO TAKE STUFF FROM. NOW I’M ANGRY AND INSANE OUT OF NOWHERE AFTER BEING OUT OF FOCUS IN S3."

So the villain of this #deep and #intricate show is literally nothing more than a generic supervillain who wants to conquer the world because she wants to, with a dash of good ol’ radfem. Okay. Good writing. I don’t care anymore.

And btw, Carmilla suddenly being wary of Caesar for having “a deviousness in him” and saying that “he could kill” is terribly out of nowhere. Where does this come from? She was the first one calling him puppy and all. Caesar did jackshit in S3. This is a horrible way to fix the mess that has been his portrayal.

(I do like how Caesar himself theorizes that Carmilla is now “overreaching” because being thirsty is a core trait of being a vampire, that's an interesting insight)

And then the bitch dies.

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Yes, just like that. Eat shit in hell <3

But still, I’m not 100% satisfied because... she has appeared so little since S2. She did nothing in S3, and then she had her little radfem rant in S4. Why did she go insane out of the sudden? We don’t know.

And I don’t give a shit anymore. She’s dead, that’s what matters! :D

Striga and Morana get a little more focus this time, and the focus is them going like “shit, Carmilla’s plan was dumber than we thought”. Striga even, surprisingly, takes pity on all the farmers she kills in her Day Armor, and realizes that this is what she’d be doing the whole time if she followed Carmilla. Basically, they’d spend the rest of their eternal life fighting humans to keep control, since now they know that humans don’t go down without a fight. Not surprisingly, when Carmilla dies (and they think Lenore died too), they decide to run away and do their thing together without scheming. Go do your thing, girls.

Of course, I always reserve Lenore for later :)

~

If I had little to say about T&S, I really have nothing for Alucard.

Obvious reference to this iconic scene:

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I get that you have a watersport fetish, Ellis. Cut that out.

Well, his depression lasts only the first episode, just enough for him to change into a costume that is very similar to his SoTN one, but shirtless because why not. Then we meet Greta of Danasti! Yes, completely unrelated to the one C3 character not included in the show. She’s your typical badass woman who takes no shit from no one.

Nothing to say about his subplot either. It’s boring, I can’t keep up, I skipped episode 7. I really have no more patience. Sorry, man. And the main trio gets back in S4E9, after being separated ever since S2E8! I think that weakened their otherwise touching finale.

Oh, right, and his big trauma over being raped and nearly killed is mentioned in passing conversation as a noodle incident. Greta even lowkey jokes about it.

As I said, it was nothing but fetish fuel for Ellis to masturbate to :)

~

Abraham was the arc I had the second most interest in. This dude is beloved, and for the life of me I can’t understand why. And... I think I cracked it :) but still, even with very limited screentime, he ends up being the best character of the season.

Abraham tells us very plainly (well, to the statue of the defeated Magician) how much he changed... as if we couldn’t tell by his sudden and unexplained care for burying the people too rotten to forge because he sees them as victims, or how he sympathizes with FlysEyes and doesn’t want to see him as a tool (interesting how it’s reserved to the only night creature who can talk like a human... does it mean that the other creatures have human sapience as well?). He reasons himself into an interesting conclusion: he has agency, and he liked the feeling of righteous justice when he killed the Magician, so he will try to change the world for the better. This is a fairly good direction to take his character in! But I can’t help but feel that it contrasts with the cackling Abraham of S3E9. Again, time skip.

“You believe you’re tools of destruction only because this is how your kind has always been used” is a very good line to associate to any Devil Forgemaster, though :) I like to imagine how Hector or Isaac would react to this.

While I still have some issues, Abraham reaches his peak in episode 6. He gives up his plans of revenge on Caesar, which is a shame as I would have liked to see them fight, but I understand that they wanted to confirm that Abraham holds no resentment in his heart anymore... if only that time skip didn’t happen. His fight against Carmilla is the stuff of legends <3 and then there is his long speech about the conclusion he reached from his journey: in short, he wants to live life. And I was touched, I really was. While I’m still irked by the time skip, it felt seriously cathartic, helped by the wonderful acting. Good for him :)

So, what was Abraham’s arc in the end? He’s a man who in the past went through a lot of pain and hardships, but is now peacefully living his life, until a person he deeply cares for gets killed and he’s unable to do anything to save them. Enraged and heartbroken, he sets himself on a destructive quest for revenge against the person who ruined his life, being an ultra competent, badass fighter and kicking ass left and right... but he meets kind people along the way, and he eventually learns to let go of his hatred. He also, after following Dracula for years and considering himself separate from humankind, realizes that he’s more than a tool: he has agency himself. He gains the strength to acknowledge that Dracula was wrong, leave him behind, and become his own person. He finally accepts his own humanity.

Wow, so peak, so raw, what a deep character arc! But... doesn’t it sound oddly familiar...?

Yeah.

I don’t want to hear a peep about how Hector is nothing more than a generic “badass”, if you then turn around and call Abraham one of the best characters in the franchise. All of you who love Abraham? You actually love Hector and you just don’t know it.

I’m not even touching the meta cruelty of taking Hector’s compelling character arc away from him and transplanting it into an OC that pretends to be Isaac, leaving a shell to be tortured in Hector’s place.

That final Abraham monologue touched me, but Hector had by far the most organic character arc, and it deserved to be properly depicted in the show.

(I could also compare his arc to Guts’, since Hector is basically a simplified version of Guts anyway lmao.)

(I will admit, though, that Abel kicked ass here, an excellent use of a very underutilized element of CoD)

Speaking of which...

~

I kept reading that Caesar became a Magnificent Bastard in this season, which absolutely baffled me: him? Magnificent?? No way. I can confirm now that this season felt like a long, long apology letter to how Caesar was written, because he’s suddenly sassy, demanding, has no patience for anything anymore, and came up with a clever scheme to take down the Council. I could actually start calling him Hector now.

By the second episode he’s already seen walking around and setting special stones in cracked walls. He’s depicted, for the first time in forever, in a dignified way, even blackmailing someone to get what he wants in a deal. In episode 6, she cages Lenore and flaunts that he was not to be trusted! He even cuts off his own finger to get rid of the ring, which is a super chad move! Yep, this is a new Caesar, everyone! I should be happy, right?

No. Well, okay, I am a bit, because he is genuinely badass and witty, but... You know what this is? This is the Netflixvania equivalent of that scene in Sonic Frontiers where Tails, out of nowhere, starts crying that he’s “wildly inconsistent” because recently (as in, in games penned by Pontaff) he hasn’t been at his best self. That scene, praised by everyone, was nothing more than Flynn smugly declaring that oh, he has fixed Tails, don’t you worry guys! I managed to make his badass decay intentional! Now, under my supervision, he’ll be the good ol’ Tails you always wanted! And I’m not happy about it, it feels too self-congratulatory and meta.

Lenore, on the other hand, is a brat. She’s childish, immature, always pouting, constantly swearing like an edgy teen girl, and nothing like her clever, elegant S3 self. See, it’s her turn to angst now, that she’s not needed anymore! I wish you weren’t, you horrible piece of shit.

Same for Caesar here. The change from “good boy” Caesar to “scheming sassy boy” Caesar is too sudden, and it happened off screen. Abraham even spells it out for us (because of course he does) that he knows that Caesar had no agency back then and was manipulated, a line so meta that I could see Ellis smiling to himself, and that’s why he holds no more contempt for him; Caesar himself years to make up for him mistakes. The six week time skip! I hate it! Why can’t we see Caesar grow a spine? I would have so loved it!

And then she peaces out in the finale because whoops, turns out that she doesn't like the life that she wanted to subject Caesar to! Remember the enslavement part? I'm not sure you do. At least phrase it like "I'm all alone, I miss my sisters, I've realized that I never did anything good in my life and maybe I never will", not "oh noes I'm in a cage :(".

If I can praise Lenore’s suicide for one thing, it’s how it was foreshadowed in S3, with her talk about not missing the sun as a vampire. That was a good parallel.

And I guess it’s time to address the elephant in the room: Lenector.

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This is their first interaction in S4. Lenore acting like a spoiled brat out of nowhere, and Caesar indulging her dick jokes and talking to her as if they were an old married couple already. Later on, she even vents her personal issues to him, and most baffingly, Caesar cares so much about her that he begs Abraham to spare her, and says that he wants to spend time alone with her.

Dude.

What the fuck?

How can you go here when the last time we saw them, THIS happened?

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You can’t jump six weeks and go from “I made you into my pet” to this equally balanced, respectful dynamic!

No.

This is horrible. It looks like Caesar just forgot everything that happened. How con-fucking-venient.

And shut the fuck up Lenore I want to strangle you with your hair.

"You were the last problem I had to solve!"

"Yes, thanks again for that." *shows magic ring that enslaves him*

"Oh, shush. You were having fun."

"Right until the end."

I want to stab someone and then set them on fire. Great, let’s all joke about Caesar’s trauma of having a deep moment of vulnerability and weakness taken advantage of! It’s funny! One month and a half is enough to make it into a cute memory, right? Right? :’D

"I think [Carmilla] lied to me."

"Just like Dracula lied to me."

I can’t be the only one who can’t accept this no matter how well written the dialogues are (and they aren’t, Caesar has his good moments but Lenore is insufferable) because I keep screaming “YOU RAPED AND ENSLAVED HIM A MONTH AGO!!!”, right? Well... I guess I am, since Lenector is one hell of a popular ship :\

Look at this blatant attempt to connect them. I don’t know how else to convey my sheer rage.

"I'm sorry for everything you went through" oh like him being tortured by your sisters, you beating the shit out of him, and the whole raping and enslaving? :)

I have my problematic ships. I have quite a few fucked up ships, most of them involving power imbalance because I am weak for that. The thing is that, I like them because they are fucked up, and I don’t ignore that element to make the relationship cuter than it should be.

I never get the feeling that Lenector shippers acknowledge this part - in fact, I’ve seen plenty of people denounce S4 as bad because those two “deserved a happy ending”.

Uhm. No. They did not. Well, Caesar did, but Lenore sure deserved to suffer a little more. I don't buy her changing attitude from vampire enslaver to cute little girl who really cared about Caesar all along.

Oh, but apparently, Lenore never touched Caesar again after she put the ring on him! That's the general assumption, it seems. So that explains how Caesar is so buddy buddy with her :) that’s how it works, right?

So... This was season 4. I'm sorry this post feels so flaccid. While the finale was good, I'm just glad to be done. Watching the show was an utterly miserable experience, and I'm glad I had people keeping me company. At least now I have proper context for this very popular part of the franchise.

Bleah. Lenector is officially in my list of ships that squick me out. Get that away from me, my man deserves better. I'm so glad that in canon he finds two wonderful women who support him and make him realize he's worthy of love :)

~

As a final note, the decision to bring back Dracula and Lisa is... Why? What's the point? It nullifies their tragedy and I'm pretty sure this change fucks up the later timeline. Unless Dracula will just decide to kill humans for shit and giggles after Lisa's death? What excuse will they come up with in Nocturne to include him, if they will? This was just peak "Let's make everyone happy".

[thomasgrauramirez]

DRAWING ART 1300C PORTFOLIO

BOXES 1ST DAY

GESTURE DRAWING WEEK 2

GESTURE DRAWING LATER IN THE SEMESTER

CONTOUR DRAWING

NEGATIVE/POSITIVE ASSIGNMENT

BLIND CONTOUR

COMPOSITION ANALYSIS

CROSS CONTOUR

CROSS HATCHING

INK ASSIGNMENT

INK ASSIGNMENT W/ COLOR

MUSEUM

MIDTERM AND ARTIST STATEMENT MIDTERM TITLE: "Creek"

ARTIST STATEMENT: The overall approach for this midterm was to create a still life that evoked a sense of eeriness and distortion. My experience was rough as I initially ran out of time and resorted to smudging to shade. This was pointed out to me and as a result I went back and changed the smudging into proper value. I was overall satisfied with the final product but I do not believe it is what it could've been.

FINAL AND ARTIST STATEMENT FINAL TITLE: "Housed In"

ARTIST STATEMENT: The approach for this assignment was to create a piece centered around Article 20 of the Human Rights, which was the right to peaceful assembly and association and the right to not be compelled to belong to an association. I thought about creating a group of figures in the forefront that pertained to the same organization and place them under a building that represented the article to frame them as compelled to belong to said organization and not being allowed to leave, something the article does not allow. Furthermore, I wanted to have several figures off to each end of the painting separated by nature to represent the natural existence of peaceful groups of people that fall under the article's rights. The environment is meant to be very natural to create the impression where the organization and the building stick out like a sore thumb to represent the unlawfulness of it. I experienced challenges in that initially the painting was washed out and underpainted and too abstract to make any sort of sense, I had the idea and the ambition but not the skill to translate those ideas to a canvas. I overcame this by stripping down my approach to be more logistical to the concept and by removing the whites of the canvas right away.

OVERALL STATEMENT: My learning experience this semester was rough. I have basically never drawn more than a cube in my life, so this class and Figure Drawing were my first experiences with art on a serious professional level period. At first I was concerned that I wouldn't meet the standards of the course, and although a lot of those challenges presented themselves to me on numerous occasions, I still strived to overcome that inexperience with ambition and ideas. I expect on coming semesters and past my graduation to become even more proficient at the skills this class has fostered in me. My favorite material to use in class was ink, and this was because it allowed me to create abstract value forms that largely reflected the style I aspire to follow in my artform in the coming years. My favorite assignment in class was the composition analysis, because it allowed these smaller sections of the still life to come together to form this geometrically complex and grandiose piece that I still think is one of my best works in the class to this day. Some obstacles I faced were my inability to grasp materials on the first go, as this was my first time using paint, ink, charcoal, and other given materials. As time went on I overcame this by simply practicing and doing the assignments and class work, and the more I did, the more I became used to each material.

[fmpfmpfmpfmpfmp]

Research: themes/aesthetics

I decided to look at game with interesting styles that linked to the theme of my game to see where I could go with my art style.

Crossy Road

I decided to look at Crossy Road due to it sharing the arcade genre with my game and because of it's use of voxel art. I like how the camera is slightly isometric rather than top down as this shows off the game's visuals from a better angle. I don't think I'll end up using voxels in my game as I'm not confident in being able to quickly produce good assets in MagicaVoxel relative to making 3D models in Maya or 2D sprites.

However, the isometric camera could still give an interesting effect in my game and I'll definitely experiment with it.

Boxhead

Boxhead is a flash survival arcade game, similar to mine. The art style is very simplistic, using geometrical 2D assets. I think this gives the game a really cool look and makes it stand against the heavily pixelated style of most 2D arcade games. However, the levels are kind of lifeless becuase of this, and lack a theme. I might try and imitate this style in my game, however I'm not sure how I would make the sprites looked "corrupted" as they're less pixelated.

Shock Troopers

This is the exact opposite of Boxhead, where everything is pixel sprites. I like this style because it makes the most sense with my sprite corruption idea. I like the font the HUD uses aswell, I would like to to use a similar one in my game to sell the arcade aesthetic.

Pac-Man 256

I'm looking at this game because it's the best example of what I mean by corruption. Having sprites get taken over by garbage is really cool, and the way this game does it is almost exactly what I want to imitate in my game. I think I could take this one step fruther though and corrupt things like the enemies. I could also corrupt their sprites in different ways, like by mirroring half of it or changing the hue.

Additionally, this shows me how I could style my game around corruption if I used Voxels, which is something to consider.

Enter The Gungeon

I like the way Enter the Gungeon Styles its pixel art. The terrain is 16x16, but everything else stick to a rough size of 20x20. This, along with the thick black borders give it a unique style that I really like. Also, the goofy facial expressions of all the character adds alot of charm to the game, and I might do something similar in my project.

[ilikereadingactually]

Picturebook roundup: December 2023

i'm back with another picturebook roundup! the changing of the year always means end of year lists, and i have been putting in library requests left and right for books that look interesting. i read a lot over my winter break!

Corner by Zo-O

a very cute book that's almost undone for me by the difficulties of the central design element, but not quite. as you might expect, the whole story of this mostly wordless book takes place in the corner of a room, as represented in the book by the gutter (the center where the two pages come together at the spine). because of the way hardcover picturebooks are bound, it's difficult to open this book completely flat; one aspect of picturebook design is allowing for and working around the gutter, where some of the image inevitably disappears. this means that the protagonist of Corner, a very cute crow, is lost in some of the first images in the book, where they're sitting in the corner or otherwise doing things there. i can see where the visual cleverness is coming from, and at the same time i can't actually satisfyingly see all of the images, which are centered around this difficult space.

that said, the action quickly moves into other parts of the room as the crow expands their space, adding a bed, and a dresser, and a plant, and painting the walls, and dancing to music. the art is lovely and soft, maybe colored pencil? and the geometric patterns the crow draws all over the high walls of their room are delightful to me. finally, the last step to making the room perfect is to cut out part of the wall to create a window, and see the world outside. it's a simple story about creating a comfortable space for oneself and then being willing to open that space to contact with others. i just wish the spreads were a little more carefully placed at the beginning to fully show the crow and not bury them in the gutter!

age rec: simple and slow, great for 2 and 3 and 4 year olds who are into noticing details and seeing what changes from page to page, and will resonate with anyone who went through COVID lockdown or any other kind of isolating experience.

a bit i really liked: i love the crow's relationship with their houseplant.

more books under the cut!

***

When Rubin Plays by Gracey Zhang

SO CHARMING! Rubin is a very cute little boy who admires the music of the orchestra in his village, and wants to learn to play the violin. when he practices in the music room, he stays at the back and plays very quietly so as not to disturb the orchestra with his inexpert playing, but after rehearsal he goes into the forest to practice alone as loudly as he wants, and amasses an audience of appreciative, yowling feral cats! the cats are extremely funny and good to me, happily yowling and dancing all around, and eventually crashing the orchestra's performance in front of the whole village. i love the loose and messy art style, it has a very retro William Steig kind of feel to me, and i love that nobody in this book ever actually tells Rubin that his playing is bad or discourages him from playing as loud as he wants--he does that himself, a little bit, but in the end everyone agrees that he should play in his own way, and his efforts are praised and appreciated.

age rec: i think this could go as young as 3 for the silliness and as old as 9 or 10 again for the silliness and for the relatability of starting to learn an instrument.

a bit i really liked: the cats CRACK ME UP

***

My Baba's Garden by Jordan Scott and Sydney Smith

this is a really lovely and quiet book. on the surface level it's about a grandson and grandmother and their bond, and deeper down it's gently about intergenerational trauma. the narrator's Baba lives alone in a tiny house with a subsistence garden, and takes care of her grandson while his father works. every day she makes her grandson breakfast, and if he drops any, she swoops it up and kisses it and gives it back to him; he understands this care for what it is, and finishes every bite. when Baba comes to live with him and his father instead, the narrator takes care of her in the same ways she took care of him.

the art is also quietly beautiful--Sydney Smith's style has this dreamy quality to me, a lot of interesting framing and gorgeous light and the suggestions of shapes with one or two central focal points, like faces. this is one of those books where not a ton happens, but it's super pleasant to read and look at anyway.

age rec: maybe 3-6 as a general range; great for those kids who can do a little emotional contemplation, and situationally great for kids with grandparents whose health is declining and/or need a little more help.

a bit i really liked: i adore this kitchen, i want to move in with Baba

***

The Mysteries by Bill Watterson and John Kascht

i requested this book from the library because it was on a year end list of weird picturebooks, and it did not disappoint! it's short but layered, funny and creepy, playfully refuses to answer its own questions, and carefully reminds the reader of our own hubris and smallness as human beings on this planet. and yes, it's that Bill Watterson, creator of Calvin & Hobbes. I can see the connective tissue between the humor of that and the humor of this, keenly observational of human nature and also a little bit dark.

and the art!!!!!! so strange and delightful! I'm not entirely sure how it's accomplished, but the backgrounds have a misty, painterly feel, while the figures look like they've been molded out of clay. it's a fantastic juxtaposition, and makes each face and each expression stand out dramatically.

age rec: this is definitely a picturebook for grownups. not to say that it would be harmful for a kid to read or something, but the level of subtlety, social commentary, creepiness, and general feeling of uncertainty seem like they'd be off-putting to a lot of kids. but if you know a little Wednesday Addams, one of those kids who really likes creepy stuff and comes out with foreboding pronouncements a lot, try this one out on them!

a bit i really liked: i am fascinated by the artwork on the walls of this artwork, i want to visit this museum

***

The Magicians by Blexbolex, translated from French by Karin Snelson

this is another book i heard about through a list of weird picturebooks! i don't know if i would totally classify it as a picturebook, as it's pretty long and dense, but wherever you shelve it, it's pretty neat. gorgeous to look at, in a sort of vintage style that looks a bit like woodblock printing and a bit like when picturebook illustrations did their own four color separations for their art. the effect is textured, nostalgic, and a little bit cartoony in a fun way. and the story is strange and interesting! it follows three magicians: an elephant, a bird, and a girl who likes to garden, and the huntress and lion-dragon clockwork creature who are chasing them. there are all kinds of weird twists--they tear through the pages of the book into another world, people turn into seeds, magic is passed from one person to another, it's all very surreal and delightful.

age rec: this is another one that i think is mostly for grownups, but definitely could appeal to kids who like off-kilter and strange stories. maybe age 7 upwards, as a read-aloud for the younger end, because the writing is pretty complex.

a bit i really liked: the beauty of this prose!!!!!! im in awe of this translator

***

Say It by Diego Estebo

i know the aim of picturebooks with messages is to get the message across to young children, but i love a book that just states the message simply, with cute art, and doesn't smack you over the head or get too twee about it. this one is right in that sweet spot for me! really clear emotional language, fun to look at, and it does what it says on the tin: encourages the reader to tell someone the feeling they are holding on to, regardless of what the feeling is. i was a secret-keeper as a kid, and i'm still terrible at telling the people who care about me how i'm feeling if it's anything other than "good," so this book really speaks to me.

also, the art is so great! vibrant and messy and delightful, and using all the little tricks of the trade to get the desired tone for every spread. i wish i was back in grad school so we could talk about this one in picturebook class (still think about you every time i type picturebook as one word, Susan. i'm sorry i still use "cute" all the time.)

age rec: around 2-5 for this one! it's a good message to give kids early, but charming enough to extend into early school age imo.

a bit i really liked: i feel u kiddo

[ramonaocathree]

Implementing Website Changes

Using the information and ideas gained from my research I set about developing my website with the aims to:

Reduce the number of pages.

Curate the imagery.

Present myself as a confident professional.

The first thing I did was to reimagine my portfolio. Previously I had four separate portfolios for each medium I had worked with. I removed all of these pages so that I had one single portfolio. I took my time selecting pieces that I am most proud of but also work together. I also made the choice to add a background so that it wasn't just a white grid. Although majority of the illustrators I researched chose a white grid for their portfolios, I thought that in this instance going against the convention may help not only to stand out but also to solidify my branding.

Old portfolio page and new.

I went on to remove the homepage (which I did love aesthetically) but acted as a barrier to seeing my work. When my website is visited now, the first page that a visitor sees is my portfolio.

The next area I wanted to focus on was my 'About' page. When I first created my bio I felt as though I had to clarify that I was a student, rather than risk people thinking that I might be a professional artist. I then realised that I don't need to justify or qualify my art - the portfolio allows visitors to judge my art based purely off its merits rather than my (self-perceived) status as an artist. I want to be taken seriously as an artist and although I am studying art, that doesn't mean that my art is 'student level'. I added more information about my art, mediums I use and influences to express more of what motivates me as an artist. I chose to keep the silly part at the end about my interests as I enjoy a personable approach.

Old bio and new One of the areas I was unsure about adding was achievements and where my work can be seen as I have very few experiences to draw from. I added information regarding the Festival of Intimacy and at the bottom of the page links to where my work could be seen. Although basic, I can always add more and remove others in the future.

The final thing that I added was a site icon. The small image that appears on the tab of the website. Using similar overlaid coloured geometric shapes that are used across my website and my handmade font that is intended to look like it's been linoprinted. Although a tiny detail, I feel that it really adds to the professionalism of the website.

Following making the changes to my website, I hope to join a student session to receive peer feedback on the improvements and if they are successful.

[msbarrows]

My personal fleet of starships and freighter on my current playthrough. This is a continuation of my Singularity expedition save, which started me off in the blue solar ship shown. It has white sails (the oddly shaped geometric ones) and I decided I liked it enough to keep and level up its class over time. It's been my main ride until recently, but that'll likely change now that I have multiple good options.

Since my ship was blue and white, I decided to use that as the colours for my player character as well, with red as an accent colour:

The next ship I got was my freighter, which I was lucky enough to come across already in a blue and white colour scheme, in a model of freighter I'm particularly fond of *Imperial March begins playing*. I should buy red paint once I have the nanites to spare so it'll better match my character's colours. I'm still working on building my freighter base; at some point there will probably be pictures.

The interceptor is the second starship I got myself, while puttering around salvaging interceptors for cash (they're not as good for nanites as salvaging regular starship wrecks, but they're all double-figured millions of spendable cash in value, so well worth the bit of extra work to locate when you want to build up your wallet quickly). Mostly blue and black with just a small amount of green, and of course red lights.

Next up was finally finding a starship with a very small footprint to use as my summonable construction material storage (very useful when doing base building). I was originally thinking of getting one of the smaller models of shuttle or fighter in blue and/or white also, but then this little yellow exotic crossed my path and, well, high viz colours are pretty standard in construction machinery, aren't they?

And finally yesterday I completed the Starbirth quest line, and killed waaaaaaay too many hours spawning fallen hosts to go check out. As in my just-before-getting-in-starship save was made at 17:39 local time and it was after 2am before I gave in and decided the current ship was good enough (liked the shape, not a particular fan of the colours).

I'm still kicking myself that I didn't keep this much earlier spawn, whose colours I liked a lot more (black or possibly very dark blue, and green, on a cream base); I was just iffy on the weird feet placement: