#and I'll never feel upset to be told when I've messed up in that way

[charliedawn]

(is it alright if I send a request?! Feel free to ignore this if not. I've heard there are some new rules regarding that?) So what if their s/o had to travel somewhere outside the country/state (could be something work/family related) for like a week or so, which Slashers would take it the hardest/easiest (basically who has separation anxiety and who is chill lol)?! Hopefully this makes sense, sorry for bad english?! I have a feeling Brahms (and maybe Jason) are in the first category, but your stories are always full of suprises so 🤷

Mature themes mentioned. You've been warned.

Jason would be the worst when it comes to abandonment issues. He would be too afraid of you leaving him forever.

He'd come up with various excuses to make you stay.

He'd wrap his arms around you and refuse to let you go. The man is touch-starved. He'd beg to come with you.

If you didn't let him ? Well...I think he'd be miserable.

Jason *whines and cries against your shoulder while holding you close* : "Stay. Please. Stay."

For him, to speak takes tremendous effort—so when he does ? That means it is important.

Do not leave the poor man alone without anything to contact you with, or you'd come back to a mess. He'd have turned the whole house into a target practice.

And believe me, you don't want to be in the way of his machete...

Brahms would be close second after Jason. He'd make you stay by any means necessary.

Brahms *breathes heavily* : "DO NOT LEAVE ME !"

His parents told him they would be gone for only a few days—but they never came back.

He wouldn't let you do the same.

He tried to get Greta to stay, but it failed. He wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

Brahms *grabs you and groans* : "If you leave me, I'll find you...I'll find you, Y/N."

The way he uttered your name made you shiver. Brahms would be close to a break down if you were gone for a few minutes. Imagine his state if it was for more than a few days ?

The moment you got back, he'd be borderline hysterical and crush you in a bear hug—crying and sobbing for you to never leave him again.

Bo has serious abandonment issues as well but—unlike Brahms or Jason—he would be more radical in his ways to make you stay.

Bo *grabs your arm and grits his teeth* "OH NO YOU DON'T !"

Bo was hated by his mother and it only aggravated his loneliness until he became...well...very self-centred and afraid of the pain.

The moment he gets attached to someone—their freedom is of no interest to him whatsoever.

Bo would rather tackle you to the ground, attach you or even have sex with you for you not to leave him.

That redneck isn't a quitter. Good luck trying to make him stay away.

"WHO THE F*CK GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO LEAVE ME, HUH ?!"

Yeah...He's not going to cry, but you might. Sorry.

And in the category worse abandonment issues we also have Vincent. Of course the other twin wouldn't be very far from the first.

Vincent is...gentler than Bo ? He wasn't hated by his family. He was actually rather liked.

So, his wouldn't be as bad—but still.

There is a reason he wanted to make all his wax statues from actual people. He is scared of being lonely...He likes to be surrounded.

And since all the people in his town treated him and his family as freaks—he couldn't make a lot of connections apart to his brothers.

He was lonely. And hence, he'd be afraid to lose the only person he ever cared about than them. You.

So, he'd be very hesitant to let you go and try to make you stay with gifts and soft touches. Try to make you understand how much you mean to him before eventually letting you go. Just so you know that you'd be taking a part of him with you.

You might be surprised, but Pennywise belongs to the category of the slashers who would be very upset by the lack of physical proximity.

Indeed, even though he hates physical touch, he is still clingy when it comes to the presence of the people he loves—one of the reasons why he stays with Penny.

So, he'd be upset, a little bit more moody than usual without you around. He'd be constantly looking at the road and unconsciously hoping you'd come back.

Pennywise *sighs deeply to himself* : "Come on, you old clown...Don't be so stupid. Come on. Stop thinking about...about..."

He'd fight against his inner demons and believe that you'd come back on your own...until the very end.

"...Oh, you're leaving, human ?"

Surprisingly enough, Penny isn't as clingy as people think he is.

He does like physical contact a lot and would be very sad to see you go, but he also knows he is a god and would be able to get to you whatever happens.

Penny is confident in his abilities, maybe too much.

So, he'd keep a smile on and giggle while waving to you when you go.

But, remember...

He's always watching.

You try to escape ? He'd know.

And he'd hunt you down. He'd make you regret ever trying to escape. He'd drag you back if he has to.

Penny *giggles darkly* : "Aww...Poor poor Y/N. Don't look so sad. We'll be together forever. Isn't that what we wanted ?"

Freddy would take it badly, but old habits die hard. He'd find a way to blame you and move on...no matter what.

"Ya think you can hurt me, huh ? Well, I've got news for you, ~sweetheart. You can go. I can always find ya a replacement."

Douchebag attitude is Freddy's defense mechanism.

You want to leave ? Fine. He'll find a way to fill the hole. Booze. Brothels. Chaos...

Whatever he can do, he'll do. Freddy needs a moral compass in order to stay in check. You and Michael fill that position.

But, if you're gone ? Then, Freddy would be missing an important part of his functioning mechanism and would go back to his old ways.

He'd be lost. Trying to find himself all the wrong ways all over again...

For his safety and others, make sure to remind him that you care for him from time to time—especially if you're going somewhere he can't follow.

And be sure to invite him into your dreams from time to time. 😉

Michael would remain himself. He'd watch you go and stay impassive. Because he knows it wouldn't change a thing.

He expects you to never come back. It would be better.

Every time he takes a knife in his hand, he wouldn't find that tingling feeling...the little voice in his head telling him to kill you.

He wouldn't be so afraid of hurting you every single day. He wouldn't have to lock his door every night because he's afraid he might wake up with your blood on his hands.

He'd even tense up when you come back.

You *smile when you see him* : "Well, hello there. Missed me ?"

Michael : "..."

You *smile falter* : "Oh...Well, okay then."

Michel *slowly approaches you and slowly hugs you*

He did miss you. He just didn't know how to tell you...or stop himself from grabbing the kitchen knife and plunging it into your heart over and over.

Michael would die before hurting you, but it doesn't mean he isn't a slasher. Or that your love for him isn't dangerous.

Arthur would put his feelings aside and try to appear cruel.

"You think I care ? ~Oh, sweetie. I've spent most of my life caring about people. Not anymore. Not ever again...So, if you want to leave me ? Go ahead. There's the door."

You have to understand, Arthur has been hurt most of his life...by life itself.

He was never lucky. He never had any friends. He was basically alone most of his life.

He wouldn't want to be kept down, and so wouldn't want the same for you. He understands the need to leave. More than anyone else.

He'd prefer you leave than stay and be miserable—like he was. So, he would never stop you from leaving, no matter if there was a risk you wouldn't come back.

Arthur *smiles and holds your hand* "...Please. Don't let me stop you. Be free."

If you want to leave ? He won't stop you.

Because that's how much he loves you.

He'd let you have your freedom. No matter what.

"I'm going out.", you said.

"Have fun, honey.", he replied. He didn't even look up from his newspapers.

"I may be out for a couple of days.", you added—waiting for a reaction.

"Sure. I'll be right here when you come back.", he answered and smiled—but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

Jack is a ghost. He doesn't really have feelings anymore and can sound cold sometimes. But, it's not because he doesn't care. It's just he knows what it is to have responsibilities.

He failed at being human—and he wouldn't want the same for you.

He would of course be worried that you'd leave forever, but honestly ? He'd be happy to let you live your life as you intend.

He doesn't have abandonment issues.

Matter-of-fact, he's the one who leaves most of the time. Of course, he wouldn't want your relation to stop so suddenly and would prefer you to come clear to him.

He wouldn't get mad, but he'd feel a little more dull and emotionless inside.

He'd become even more of a ghost than he was—but wouldn't let you see.

Jack *smiles before you close the door* : "...Bring back a souvenir, alright ? Something...something nice."

And that would probably be the only attempt he'd do to hint that he wants you to come back.

[ghost-in-the-hall]

Strawberries (Terzo x Fem! Reader SMUT)

Credit to @conjuring-ghouls for the gif!

WARNINGS: Minors Do Not Interact, MDNI, 18+, Explicit Content, Sexual Content, Minors DNI, food play, pussy eating, overstimulation

Dearest Shoe, @the-hole-in-terzos-shoe thank you so much for requesting this, it was so much fun to write and definitely something outside of my comfort zone. Love you bb ❤️❤️

My Masterlist! ~ A03 Link!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You couldn't stop the smirk from passing over your lips as you caught the sight of him. "You know, Primo's going to be awfully upset if he finds out you were messing around in his greenhouse Papa." You watch his shoulder shake slightly as he chuckles. His gaze lands on you, the two of you sharing a small smile.

"Surely he won't mind me stealing a few strawberries. Especially if I'm gathering them to share with one of his beloved Siblings, eh Sorella?" You knew that devious glint in his eye all too well. Terzo Emeritus was not anything if not a flirt. He knew exactly what to say and how to act in order to leave you a flustered and blushing mess, not that you were complaining. He held one of the ripe berries between his fingers, studying it as he slowly made his way over to you. "The first strawberries of the season are always my favorite. Deliciously tart," his eyes leave the fruit and train themselves on you, taking in the image of your curves under your work clothes. "Yet still so sweet." He stood in front of you, his intense gaze gluing you to your spot. "It's probably one of the greatest tastes I've ever experienced… so far anyways." He smirks at you. You pressed your thighs together to try and stifle the growing arousal between your legs. Despite the fact you had been a target of Terzo's charm for years, he never failed to get you all worked up. He held out the strawberry to you, watching intently as your lips wrapped around the tip of it, gently brushing over his fingers as you took a small bite. Your eyes never left his, beautifully mismatched hazy green with the other being so white it almost glowed. Terzo Emeritus was definitely a sight to behold.

"It's delicious Papa." You giggle, covering your mouth with your hand. He takes your chin between his fingers. Your breath hitches in your throat, his lips barely out of reach.

"Can I have a taste, Sorella?"  He smirks, your cheeks immediately heating up at his question.

"Terzo!" You startled away from him as Primo's voice booms through the greenhouse. "I've told you before, not in my greenhouse, you'll crush the plants!" Terzo chuckles, taking a step back from you.

"Relax, fratello, I was just giving (Y/N) some fruit." The youngest Emeritus brother shoots you a wink and a flirtatious smirk. Your eyes trailed after him as he made his exit, taking the rest of the plump flesh of the strawberry between his teeth. The thought flashed through your mind of how good it would feel for him to bite into your thighs like that. You quickly shook the idea from your head as Primo approached you.

"Il mia bambina, I hate to trouble you, but would you mind harvesting some fruits and bringing them to Terzo's office? I would like to keep that menace out of my garden at all costs." He says with an exasperated sigh, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Yes Papa, I'll take care of it." You agree with a smile. He pats you on the shoulder as he walks past you.

"Thank you Sorella. If you'll excuse me, I have a meeting with one Miss Mary Jane." He pardons himself with a chuckle. You made quick work of picking fruits, the thought of your earlier interaction with Terzo playing repeatedly in your mind, making you incredibly giddy. You grabbed some dark, sweet cherries, ripe peaches, tart plums, and of course more strawberries, carefully arranging them in your basket. You stopped by the kitchen, slipping some chocolate from Secondo's secret stash in with your other treats as you passed through.

"Papa?" You knock tenitavely on his door, pushing it open when you hear him give you permission to enter. He sat at his desk, reading glasses perched on the end of his nose as he filled out some paperwork. "Primo wanted me to bring you some fruits." You held up the basket before setting it on his desk. He chuckles, examining the gift before him.

"And the chocolate?" He asks, raising an eyebrow at you.

"Just a little something special for my Papa." You blush slightly, your eyes drifting down to your feet.

"Thank you cara mia, this is wonderful. How can I ever repay you?" His question slightly muttles with the rustling of the candy's foil. You glanced up at him to find his eyes already studying you. The tension in the air was thick. Gone was the usual playfully flirty demeanor that often dominated your and Terzo's conversations. You stood before him now when there wasn't a single chance you would get disturbed. He knew he had you all to himself and he was planning on taking full advantage of that.

"There's no need to repay me Papa." You respond softly. He snaps off a small piece of chocolate, holding it out to you. You carefully take it between your lips, he watches your reaction to the slightly bitter chocolate intently.

"Oh, but I want to, Sorella." He neatly folds up his glasses, tucking them away in his desk before he stands. His slow, heavy footsteps echoing in your ears as he walks around his desk. He sat on the edge of the dark wood, picking up a peach out of the basket, tossing it in the air and catching it in his palm a few times. "You went through all this hard work just to bring me something I wanted… surely there's something you want as well." You eyed the fruit in his hand, wanting to relive the sensation you had experienced earlier. Terzo follows your gaze, holding the peach out for you to bite. Forbidden fruit hanging just out of reach. You hesitantly lean forward, sinking your teeth into the soft flesh. You felt some of the juice dripping down your lip. In one swift movement Terzo was standing, his tongue lapping up the droplet of juice before his lips crashed into yours. The peach tumbled from his hand and to the floor with a loud thud. His arms wrapped around you, pulling your body flush against his own. He sucked your lip between his teeth, a delighted hum escaping you as your eyes fluttered shut. He lifted you from the floor, effortlessly setting you on the edge of his desk. Your kiss broke momentarily as you both hurried to get undressed. "I can't even begin to tell you how long I've wanted you cara mia." He admits breathlessly. You tangled your fingers in his dark hair, giving it a firm tug that elicited a sinful groan from him, his fingers kneading into your hips.

"Then have me Papa… I'm all yours." His lips were back on yours in an instant, needy hands pulling at your shirt until it was removed from your body. Terzo kissed and nipped at the exposed skin of your chest. Terzo's eyes drifted to the fruit basket you had brought, a smirk crossing his features as he breathes out a chuckle.

"I think I know a pretty good use for your gift." You raised a curious eyebrow at him, watching to see what he would do next. He grabbed one of the various plums in the basket, leaning over your exposed chest and biting into it. The dark red juice dripped down his fingers and off his wrist before splattering across your skin. Your fingers slid into his raven locks as he dipped his head, licking the droplets up from the valley of your breasts. His eyes never leaving yours for a moment. You placed a finger under his chin, gently guiding him upwards until you found his lips, the tart juice of the plum mixing with Terzo's naturally sweet taste. He rests his forehead against yours after he pulls away. "The freshest fruit in the garden should be shared with the prettiest flower, sí?" You couldn't help but blush under his gaze, nodding in agreement. He offered you a bite of the plum before discarding it alongside the peach, his head dipping into the crook of your neck. His warm breath fanned over your skin as he trailed kisses down your exposed body. You mewled under his touch, back instinctively arching off the desk as he sucked dark marks onto your thighs. He paused, fingers playing at the band of your panties. "Will you allow me to taste you, Sorella?" 

"Please, Papa." You whine, your legs already beginning to tremble despite him not even touching you yet. Terzo lets out a deep chuckle, removing the main clothing keeping him separated from your soaked core at an agonizingly slow pace. Your breath caught in your throat as he licked a long stripe over your clit, the gasp he elicited fizzling out before it even had a chance to leave your lungs. He wasted no time, his tongue dipping inside your entrance allowing him to lap up the juices of your arousal. You pressed a hand firmly to the back of his head, grinding your hips into his face. His nose brushed over your clit as his tongue continued to work inside of you, a series of sinful moans falling from your lips as the growing knot in your stomach.

"So sweet, Cara Mia." Terzo groans before latching his lips around your clit, tongue expertly teasing the sensitive bundle of nerves. The arm you were using to support yourself gave out underneath you, causing you to collapse back against the desk. Terzo wrapped his strong arms around your thighs, holding you in place as he effortlessly pulled an orgasm from you. Your legs trying to force themselves closed, Terzo resisted you with a chuckle, the vibrations sending a jolt through your already sensitive body. You cried out his name, trying to push his face away, a task that only resulted in streaks of grey across your palms from his paints. "Forgive me for being selfish dolce, but you are the best thing I've ever tasted." He smirks as you squirm in his grasp. "Even better than those strawberries."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag List: @moss-the-moth @mustluvecho @kissingghouls @angellayercake @copiousloverofcopia @rabidghoul

[respectthepetty]

Pride Petty Watch - LiTA (Rain/Payu) 1

Because I'm petty, I had the crowd pick which blacklisted shows I would watch for the month of Pride. I had planned to space them out more, but due to wacky weather over here (tornadoes, thunderstorms, softball-sized hail, and flash flooding), I had plenty of time to binge watch the first show, Love in the Air, which perfectly aligns with my real life theme of stormy weather, so I'm posting my random thoughts in five parts, two for each couple and the special episode.

I'm seated, I'm watching, and I'm being petty.

It starts at "2:00 AM" - Oh no. Nothing could happens at 2 in the morning, and the time just keeps going. This event isn't even going to begin until 3 AM?! Take me home, NOW! I don't care how fine these men are. I'm stopping for mini churros at Jack in the Box on the way home and going to bed. I'M OUT!

I've seen plenty of pictures of Boss in the past two years, but I still lost my breath a bit when he took off his mask because he was looking delicious in the rain.

RAIN WANTS A GIRL?!

Out of everything I saw about this show, NOBODY mentioned that Rain was trying to get a girl. I'm shook. That's a huge part of the plot I never saw mentioned. There were rumors of the actor (Noeul) being with Milk (of MilkLove), and I saw more of THAT in connection to this show than about him liking a girl within it. Where are y'alls priorities?! *looks at Tonnam and breathes deeply*

Payu's room is IN the garage? But what about the fumes? What about the noise? What about a good work/life balance?!

😬😬😬

I don't care if this boy is snuggling in his sleep, Payu is on my shit list! Instead of being like "oh, I misunderstood the signals," he pushed harder then got upset. Even if Rain secretly does want him, I need a verbalization. This is the end of the first episode, and I'm mad as hell at a bisexual on the first day of Pride. Damn.

Start of episode two and I know Rain's voiceovers are there to make me not be upset at Payu, but . . . I'm pissed at this man! He did all of that work, said it was free, but now there is "another" charge, then he shows up at this boy's school when he could've just talked to him at the shop, and feels him up in the bathroom stall. I am BIG mad!

I will admit, this is hot. Still very mad at my fellow bisexual for him saying he wasn't trying to force himself on Rain (even though he was about to mark a map on that boy's neck), but they got chemistry.

My fellow Slut for Christ, only God can judge you, but know that I am too.

All racetracks look the same so Pit Babe and Cutie Pie could have been filmed here for all I know, but I have this at 1.5 speed, unmuted, so I hear this is a legit hype rap song. WEARETHEGOOD's "Threat" with these colors?! Energy? Matched.

HE IS SPANKING HIM?!

I don't kink shame but both people should be willing participants in this endeavor. Then just to drop him on the floor like that?! That does not inspire trust! This is not Blue Boy behavior, sir! But this lecture after is. That is what I need from you. Remind him that this isn't some petty school shit but actual gangstas he is messing with. Remind him that he can't be reckless. THAT'S HOW BLUE BOYS GET KISSED!

Now it's a competition? Payu wants to fuck Rain so badly he looks stupid, yet Rain is over here saying he is going to make Payu want to fuck him, what? harder? What is this all about?!

What do you mean you didn't want to show Rain your bad side? Has all this been your good side up until this point?! Cause, dead ass, this side ain't looking that great either with you being upset you weren't sleeping with him on the first night and stalking him. So you're going to get worse?

Y'all can't sucker me in with red and blue colors. I Told Sunset About You tried that, and I'm still being petty about it. But whose house are we at now?! This is a different room than before. Payu got multiple places?! In this economy?

Prapai strolling in all happy because he had a good night . . . Sir, I'll get to your ass soon because I know how you got that happiness, and you are on the same shit list as your fellow bisexual bestie.

I am Sky and our judgement cannot be measured.

TWINS?!

All this blue between these two yet they are straight up lyin' every two seconds. The fuckery.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!

I would've let him turn it in, but I appreciate that he looks so good while looking so sad with that warm glow.

Payu gets one positive point for leaving his arms open for Rain to come to him, but now that warm glow feels sus like maybe I should be paying more attention to Rain's yellow/orange backpack.

And now for a negative point because even though I keep seeing black x white, Payu stays morally grey by playing with this boy's emotions and hiding from him in his own shop! These after scenes are not doing Payu any favors.

Payu, do I like you? Do I hate you? Do I wanna fuck you? Do I wanna kick you in the balls? All of the above?

Guess I'll find out in the next three episodes.

[666writingcafe]

Please, I'm in dire need of “Come over here and make me.” Barbatos! I'm frothing at the mouth and gnawing on my furniture 😵‍💫😢

Also, this is such a fun event! I'm excited to see all the orders!

Order #1

"Come over here and make me." Barbatos

Barbatos has had a rough day. He should have known from the moment he woke up, for he was so deep in his slumber that he missed all his early morning alarms, hence making him run behind schedule.

And then Diavolo wanted to cause mischief with the Little D's. And then the brothers stopped through and caused a huge mess in the castle. And then Barbatos kept bumping into things and breaking them, making him more and more frazzled and frustrated.

To say that he was approaching his wit's end would be an understatement. He tried his best to remain composed. After all, a butler is never supposed to break down and show his emotions; it'd be unsightly, to say the least.

The final straw came after dinner. He was in the kitchen washing up the night's dishes when MC poked their head in. They told him to go rest and that they could finish for him, and while a small part of him appreciated the gesture, he was way too stubborn to accept their help. After the day he's had, it'd be like accepting defeat. If he can't complete something as simple as this, then he might as well give up his position entirely.

The silence that followed his refusal foolishly made Barbatos believe that MC was going to drop the subject and let him be. Instead, he suddenly finds himself with no sponge. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees MC wring it out before tossing it between their hands.

"MC, what are you doing?" The question is full of tension.

"Forcing you to take a break."

"I'll be fine. Give me back my sponge."

"No." If it were anyone else refusing his request, they'd be facing swift punishment for their actions.

But the butler has always had a soft spot for the human, so he merely sighs.

"Please. Do not make me repeat myself." MC leans against the nearest counter, still toying with the sponge.

"If you want it so badly, you'll have to come over here and make me."

Various metal dishes crash onto the floor as Barbatos quickly closes the gap between them and begins attacking their neck. Even in his frenzied state, he's still careful to not bite down too hard in places that will cause permanent damage, but there's still enough force in his movements to tell MC that he's not playing.

After several intense seconds, Barbatos stops and takes a deep breath. The sponge has fallen onto the floor, making it unfit for further dish-washing. Unfortunately, all the clean ones are in a storage closet further down the hall, away from the kitchen.

"Look what you've done," he murmurs, anger once again threatening to boil over.

"Allowed you to finally stop for once?" Barbatos glares at MC, but says nothing. "Look, I know that you've had a shitty day, so I--"

"--decided to make it worse?" MC groans loudly.

"You need to relax. Keeping your frustration constantly bottled up like this isn't helping you."

"But I have to, MC. I can't just blow up whenever I'm upset. There are standards that I must follow."

"Not with me, there aren't." Barbatos tilts his head as he starts putting the pieces together.

"Are you saying you want me to take my anger out on you?" MC shrugs.

"I've done it for the brothers." They briefly pause. "In this moment in time, think of me as your personal stress ball. Use me however you see fit until you feel better." Barbatos' mind begins spinning. He realizes that MC is acting out of love, and he doesn't want to throw their act of kindness back in their face, but at the same time he knows that the human body isn't nearly as resilient as a demon's, and he doesn't want to cause MC unnecessary pain.

He takes another deep breath.

"Are you sure?" The words sound hoarse, barely audible in the kitchen.

"Yes." Barbatos clears his throat.

"Very well, MC. I will make use of you."

The journey to his bedroom is a blur. When they arrive, Barbatos shoves MC onto his bed and pins them down by their shoulders. They squirm a little bit, testing his strength.

"Behave, or I'll have to tie you up," he growls. The thought of being bound makes MC shudder, so they go still.

"Good sheep." Barbatos leans forward, capturing their lips in a rough kiss. MC immediately moans and parts their lips, allowing him to deepen it. It's messy and uncoordinated, and the butler can't tell who is making the most noise.

He starts grinding against their thigh, groaning as his erection rubs against the fabric of his pants.

He can't get too carried away. For one, he does not want to clean the mess off his pants, but mainly he wants to take his time with MC. If they're going to indulge him like this, he might as well make the most out of the opportunity.

So, before MC can pull him closer to them, he pushes himself off the bed and stands at the foot of his bed.

"Take your clothes off," he orders. "But don't touch yourself."

While they undress, Barbatos removes his own clothes, tossing them haphazardly across the room. MC stares at his exposed body, eyes lingering on his cock. The look on their face causes him to chuckle.

"Don't worry, we'll get to that later." He gestures at the bed. "Lay down, hands at your sides." They move, and he joins them, straddling their stomach. He starts at their neck, sucking and biting until the skin is covered in dark bruises. He moves lower, leaving similar marks over their chest and torso.

He's purposely avoiding their groin area, much to their chagrin. MC can't stop the whimpers that escape their mouth.

"Is there something you want?" The butler asks, voice smooth and silky.

"Fuck me, Barbatos." Their voice is full of need, and he grins.

"All you had to do was ask, MC." Barbatos climbs off the bed and returns moments later with a bottle of lube.

"This is going to feel a bit cold," he warns before squirting a generous amount onto his fingers. He circles their hole, watching them shiver from the sensation. Once he feels that it's warm enough, he inserts his finger, moving it in and out at a steady pace.

MC whines, wiggling their hips.

"Be patient." The second finger is added, and MC clenches around the intrusion, drawing a low moan out of Barbatos.

"More. Please."

"So greedy," he chides playfully, a smirk forming on his lips. His free hand wraps around their cock and strokes it in time with the fingers inside them. MC cries out and bucks their hips.

"Barbatos!"

"That's it, MC," he purrs. "Let it all out." MC's body starts trembling, and he knows they're close. He adds a third finger, thrusting them as hard as he can.

"I'm gonna...I'm..."

"Cum for me, MC."

The order is all MC needs to cum. Loudly. If no one else knew what he and MC were doing before, they certainly do now.

Barbatos withdraws his fingers and pumps his cock a few times, moaning loudly.

"On your knees, MC. You know what to do."

MC's legs shake as they get into position. As soon as their mouth is open, Barbatos slides his cock past their lips, hitting the back of their throat. Normally, he allows MC to set the pace, but today he's much too impatient. They'll just have to deal with him furiously thrusting in and out of their mouth instead.

His movements become more erratic as he gets closer to his orgasm. The warmth of MC's mouth along with their muffled moans makes his head feel a bit fuzzy.

"Mmm, yes. Just like that." MC's fingers dig into his thighs, urging him to keep going. He grabs a fistful of their hair and tugs.

"You're such a good little slut, taking my cock like this."

They whine loudly, and the vibrations cause Barbatos to finally cum, crying out their name. He stays in MC's mouth a few seconds longer before slowly pulling out, a thin line of drool connecting his cock to their tongue. For a brief moment, he thinks about taking a picture of the sight before him, but ends up deciding against it. There are too many prying eyes for him to be able to keep such a thing to himself.

"Feeling better?" MC asks, their voice raspy and slightly out-of-breath.

"Yes, actually. Thank you, MC." They smile.

"You're welcome. Now, why don't I help you finish washing the dishes?"

"As long as you don't mind doing some other tasks with me. I'd really like to put this day behind me."

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr, @tenkobitch

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITAH for accidentally making my younger cousin cry?

Basically, my (F17) younger cousin (F9) and her mom moved close by to where my family lives, and now is starting to visit regularly. Only, I'm a very anxious and socially awkward person and I'm not very good around kids. I try my best to entertain her, although I've been told I need to "grow a spine and learn to say no" by my mom after I let my younger cousin mess up my wigs. I'm a big push over, but I do like my personal space. Only, my cousin is very extroverted and curious, and I sort of understand, so that's why I try to help her hone that energy in things like arts and crafts and such.

The thing is, I get socially drained very easily. Especially since I'm a senior in highschool now trying to get ready for college. I don't have as much energy anymore and can't keep up with her as much, and I've noticed she gets upset when I'm not around because she thinks I'm purposely ignoring her. She's not alone though, she has my sister (F14) to keep her company, and they're both much closer than I am with her.

I recently had a panic attack because my younger cousin took a lot of valuable things from my room (such as figures I bought and manga I was gifted), and earlier in the day she hid in my room and locked me out. I know she means no harm, she's 9 after all. And although I was uncomfortable, I'd let her onto my bed, or let her cling to my arm (I'm very touch adverse due to past events I don't wish to talk about). But this time, seeing my things gone and being locked out of my only safe space caused me to panic.

I tried explaining to her I wasn't upset, but she still started crying since I was pounding on my bedroom door and then later started crying since I tried picking up my things from where she had taken them instead of letting her play with them. I was just very tired, and tried explaining to her. I feel like I'm in the wrong because I don't know if I explained it right, and also because I believe my pushover nature isn't helping. I suppose that's just the way she was raised, but everytime I try to spend time by myself she begins to cry. I never yelled at her, seeing as I'm more on the quiet side and especially since I've seen how she reacts out of the blue. It's just exhausting having to stay up all night and play all day.

For extra information, her mom is very sweet but had my cousin at a young age. She wasn't really around a lot of kids her age growing up, but now that they moved she has a lot more opportunities. I don't know of any mental disorders, but my family is very close to my cousin and her family so I feel we'd get notified if something was shown.

I don't know if I'm overthinking this, my own relations with my mom is more on the tense side since she's always taken my things when I was younger and made me paranoid about whether or not I'll wake up to it all gone. I try not to be like her, but I feel my cousin is probably seeing me as more standoffish. Sorry if this isn't the best explanation, I'm new to this system but just wanted an outside opinion.

I hope your day goes well. 🌸

What are these acronyms?

[monsterswithimagines]

Undisclosed Desires - Part 6

Joe Goldberg x female!Reader

Summary: Twenty minutes before he would have met Guinevere Beck, Joe meets you instead. You intruige him, but it will soon become clear that there is something off about you.

Words: 845

Masterlist

Saturday can't come soon enough. I feel like this week has lasted an entire year.

Then it's finally Saturday morning. I'm happy to go to work today, because at the end of the morning shift, you'll be waiting for me. My reward for my work. You won't even mind that I won't have time to change out of my usual clothes - it's a deliberate choice on my end, because you like how I look. You told Nadia about it on Twitter just three days ago.

@MoonShadow_: waarom zijn jongens in boekwinkels altijd zo lekker 😭😭

Which translates to: why are boys in bookstores always so hot

I didn’t realize you were thinking this way, (Y/n). If I'd known, maybe I would have made a move already.

Candace wasn't nearly this hard to read.

Candace wouldn't have been worth all this waiting, though.

I'm not ashamed to admit that Candace was a wrong choice. I thought I saw something in her that wanted to be known by me, to be taken care of, but I was wrong. You, on the other hand, are unknown to almost everyone except your dear childhood friend. It must be so lonely. But when you're with me, you won't have to be alone anymore.

Ethan notices I'm distracted today, but he doesn't say anything about it. He's happy to take over the regular customer service duties if it means I'll run up and down the basement stairs carrying heavy books from eight to twelve. Ethan is the kind of guy who swears by a Kindle.

You'd never use a Kindle, would you? I can't imagine it. You buy books way too often to bother about something as asinine as digital reading.

Maybe if I tell you the Kindle is everything that's wrong with modern-day America, you'll laugh and agree with me. But then again, maybe you'll just think I'm a ‘gatekeeping dick’. That's what you called someone on Twitter when they said The Secret History was awful and that only insufferable, snobbish, self-absorbed, classist rich kids would ever think to read this shit. Don't kill me, (Y/n), but I kind of agree with the guy. One day you'll see my side.

I kind of agree with you too, though: the world needs to learn how to read again, it doesn't matter where they start.

I used to judge people for what they bought at Mooney's, but now I don’t anymore. At least they're reading. You're making me a better person that way. You're making me realize that even if people are just reading whatever bullshit they saw on TikTok, at least they're reading.

It's one pm, and you're late. I'm not too upset about it, though. You texted me about an hour ago.

YOU: omigod joe!!!

YOU: my boss is super pissed i forgot to send a client this important email

YOU: i gotta fix my mistake i might be like

YOU: 15 mins late

ME: Don't worry. Take your time.

YOU: 😅

I didn't reply to your smiley. What on earth am I meant to say to a picture of a smiling face? Besides, a smiley isn't worth nearly as much as your actual smile.

And there you are.

Only ten minutes late. It could have been worse.

You look flushed like maybe you ran here, and your hair is a mess so you've covered it with a beanie again, but you also look so happy to see me. I'm happy to see you, too.

You hug me.

“I'm so sorry,” you say. I'm not sure what you're apologising for, because I'm still trying to get over the fact that you hugged me. “I've had such a crazy morning.”

“You're not even that late,” I assure you, which is true. Candace used to be hours late, sometimes. Sometimes she didn't show up at all. “Do you mind giving me a minute? I want to wash my hands and stuff.”

I don't need a minute. I've been ready to leave for a while now. But I think you might need some time, and I can tell you won't ask for it.

“Yeah, yeah,” you say. “No problem.”

So I turn and I head to the bathroom. This means leaving you alone with Ethan, which may be risky. Ethan might say something stupid, or something about me. But then again, I don't think he'd ruin ‘getting some tail’ for me.

In the bathroom, I wash my hands and check my hair. I look how I always do after a shift at Mooney's, but I think that's fine.

You look beautiful, (Y/n). It's too soon to tell you something like that, but you do.

I emerge. You look calmer now. You're waiting in the office - Ethan must have let you in - sitting with your hands behind your head and your feet on the table. Stretched like that, I can see a bit of the skin above your jean shorts.

It's deliberate. You're taunting me.

“Hey,” you say. “All ready?”

You're wearing make-up. You don't usually wear make-up.

“All ready,” I agree.

[hongtiddiez]

what were your top 5 iconic bl moments of shows that aired in 2023?

FINALLY GOING TO PUT A DENT IN MY ASKS AAA im so sorry ive neglected this for almost a month now.

Chen Yi picking up Ai Di and opening the door with his foot? iconic. i'll never forget this. it's engraved on the back of my eyelids.

I'D GO BACK AND HIT ON YOU AGAIN??? ARE YOU KIDDING??? HELLO?? i think i actually screamed into a pillow at that line. pisaeng you motherfucker (affectionate)

moonlight chicken had my whole undivided attention when they showed a one night stand that wasn't rushed, wasn't all teeth and grabbing hands and unchecked lust. there was a conversation, trepidation, and the sex was considerate and gentle. it is still one of my absolute favorite NC scenes, regardless of how not really NC it is.

i'm going to get a little heavy here but the way laws of attraction dealt with thaenthai and his father's death hit me HARD.

my dad passed away in july of 2022 after years of emotional abuse, gaslighting, manipulation, and eventually me having to go very limited contact with him. he called me on my 29th birthday, never wished me happy birthday, and instead told me he was dying of cancer. i didn't believe him because he'd told me the same story many, many times before. he died 8 months later.

despite all the abuse and all the bullshit he'd put me through my entire life i was still a mess when he died. he was still my dad, still my family, still someone i'd spent so many years of my life with. even though i was limited contact with him there was always the knowledge in the back of my mind that he was there, that i could still reach him. suddenly being without that is a lot to come to terms with and on top of that you feel guilty that you aren't more upset, you feel horrible that their death is a massive weight off your chest.

laws of attraction really did not have to show these aspects of grieving your abuser, they could've shown thaenthai happy and moving on with his life, but what they did show was so, so fucking validating for someone like me that was very much still in the process of mourning their abuser.

im cheating a little including cherry magic (thailand) as it's not done airing yet but sue me, i ran out of things i KNEW came out in 2023.

what really stole my heart about cherry magic is that achi is being forced to understand that his own self esteem and assuming the worst of what people may think about him is doing the people around him an incredible disservice. his self esteem is entirely based on his own internal, cruel thoughts (with some external input but very few and far between) and i think this is an incredibly important message of how our own self worth can self sabotage potential relationships.

i've said it before but gun to my head i wouldn't have told you i'd love this show as much as i do, yet here i am.

[theoceanoasis]

can we get a part 2 to hidden frame au, when drift and ratchet accidentally find out about rodimus being sparked? will perceptor and rodimus really leave the lost light? will the couple chase after him? i'm on the edge of my seat!!

He quickly packed whatever he could while Rodimus lay unconscious.

He knows if Rodimus was awake he'd be protesting the idea of leaving. The Lost Light was his home but it won't be for long.

Hearing pounding on the door he froze his spark pounding in his chest as he was reminded of a time long ago. He couldn't protect Rodimus then but he could protect him now.

He wasn't going to let them hurt his bitty. He finished packing and grabbed an old invention he'd made.

After losing Hot Rod he worked tirelessly to create something that would protect those like him, in case anyone found out their secret. He would never let another carrier suffer the way he had. Not if he could help it.

He could hear Drift and Ratchet outside the door demanding to be let in and talk. He felt rage bubble up inside of him because they couldn't leave Rodimus alone. He told them to stop and they didn't listen and now he was in danger because of them.

He blocked both of them refusing to answer their calls. They could get fragged for all he cared. It was because of them that his bitty was losing his home. It was because of their actions that Rodimus and their sparkling were in danger. No wonder he didn't trust them enough to tell them his secret.

When he got a call from Brainstorm. He immediately answered it having a feeling it was important and he felt his spark drop when Brainstorm told him the bad news. The people on monitor duty had seen the whole thing.

They knew Rodimus was sparked and were telling everyone. A crowd was already forming in order to capture them. Ultra Magnus and Megatron were trying their best to hold everyone back but they didn't have a lot of time.

Outside he could hear Drift pull out his swords but they wouldn't work. He'd built those doors to keep Overlord and the entire DJD out. He was not going to bust inside and hurt his bitty more than he already has.

"I have to go. People are trying to get into the lab because they think you're here. Don't worry I'll make them pay for trying to hurt you. Also someone has already been sent to help you two escape. I'll try to meet you at the hanger, but if I can't... I want you to know that I've always loved you and I always will no matter what and that you two better stay safe out there."

He felt tears in his optics and he nodded even though Brainstorm couldn't see him.

"I love you too."

"Now go protect your bitty."

Brainstorm hung up and he grabbed Rodimus while, Drift and Ratchet continued demanding to be let in wanting to talk.

"Get fragged!"

He shouted in anger wishing he could punch them again because once clearly wasn't enough. Neither of them liked that answer and he could hear Ratchet trying to use medical override codes which also weren't going to work.

He held his invention in hand as he slowly walked towards the door ready to use it on them when he heard a loud clang and then Cyclonus voice.

"Are you two okay?"

Brainstorm told us what happened and we're here to help."

He sighed in relief and opened the door to see Ratchet and Drift unconscious. Whirl looked unapologetic as he stood over them having been the one to knock them unconscious.

Tailgate gave Rodimus a worried look.

"Is he okay?"

"Physically yes but emotionally he's a mess. I had to knock him out because he was overtaxing his systems. This isn't easy for him and I know Rodimus is going to be struggling for a while."

All four of them gave Drift and Ratchet an angry look for ruining his life. The only thing holding Whirl back from killing them is that Tailgate would be upset.

They could hear shouting down the hallway and Tailgate grabbed his hand. Whirl protected them from the front and Cyclonus from the back as they quickly made it through the hallways.

Every time they passed a camera Whirl would destroy it since the people on monitor duty had been the one to tell everyone.

If they ran into someone in the hall Whirl or Cyclonus would quickly deal with them. Whirl was a lot less gentle and wanted them to suffer for a while.

"Hurry! They're gaining on us!"

They took a few more turns and made it to the hanger which was locked.

He gave it a panicked look when Tailgate reassured him.

"Megatron input an override code locking it for everyone except us."

He nodded pulling Rodimus closer as Cyclonus opened the door.

"Over there."

He pointed at a shuttle and Tailgate opened the door. He climbed inside looking at them for what might be the last time.

"Thank you for this. You have no idea how much it means to us."

"Of course."

Whirl nodded giving him the wrecker salute which he returned.

Going into the ship he wasted no time getting it started. He heard the hanger door explode as some of the crew rushed inside to stop them from leaving including Ratchet and Drift.

Which made him sick feel sick. Even though those people were planning on killing their sparkling and doing things he couldn't imagine to Rodimus they were choosing to help them.

They tried to stop him from taking off but it was too late. He took off leaving the Lost Light behind as they entered hyperspace.

Once they were finally safe he sighed in relief and went to check on Rodimus who should be waking up by now.

He walked into the bedroom where he'd quickly deposited him before going to the controls. When he got there he was just in time to see Rodimus wake up.

He looked around the familiar room. Still disoriented from the drugs when he realized they were no longer on the Lost Light. Tears entered his optics and he rushed to his side giving him a sad look.

"I'm so sorry Rodimus. They found out and they were after us."

His bitty sobbed and he held him for a long time.

"Brainstorm, Whirl, Tailgate, Cyclonus, Megatron and Ultra Magnus helped us escape. We couldn't have done it without them."

Rodimus nodded still looking sad. Especially when he noticed Drift and Ratchet weren't on the list. He thought about telling him that Drift and Ratchet were helping the people who wanted to hurt him and his bitty, but decided against it at least for now.

He deserved to know what kind of monsters they were. Nut he knew it would break his spark and he'd already gone through enough for one day.

"I thought maybe they were different... Maybe we could be different but I was wrong."

He wrapped his arms around his belly as more tears fell and he felt his spark break. He wished things could have been different. He never wanted Rodimus to live in fear. All he wanted was for his sparkling to be happy. He never wanted him to go through the same fate he did and yet here they were.

"I'm sorry Rodimus. I wish there was more that I could do."

Rodimus nodded asking if he could be alone for a while. He was reluctant to leave him when he was obviously still upset, but he knew Rodimus needed time to process everything.

His whole world had just come crumbling around him and now he had to pick up the pieces. He forced himself to leave and go to the bridge. Sitting down heavily he stared out the window wishing things could be different.

[potter-head-phanatic]

Word count: 911 Masterlist Tag List xx

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Jake and Y/N stood outside of their fathers apartment door after he bailed on them, once again. She could see how tense her brother was, from the frown on his face to the clench in his fist. Polar opposite to how he usually felt. "I have to, or hes going to keep doing it" She whispered an okay before giving his hand a reassuring squeeze, letting him know that she was right there with him, before knocking on the door. A few moments later, the door opened and Roger Peralta looked surprised to see them. "Jake! Y/N! I'm sorry I couldn't make it to the party" he started to say and Y/N could already feel an excuse coming, "I'm subbing for a buddy who's got an early flight, I'm sure you're upset" There it is. "No, actually. I'm not upset at all" She wanted to say something, but Jake was finally standing up for himself and she wasn't going to stop him. "yeah? great" She wanted to wipe the stupid smile off his face, not believing he could be this clueless to think Jake actually wasn't upset. "No, more relieved. You know you were always my hero, but i think i'm finally starting to see you for who you really are. A regional airline pilot whose landings are bumpy as hell and a pretty selfish guy who genuinely doesn't care about being a dad" She couldn't be more proud of her brother and agreed with every word he just said. "Jake, you don't understand. There was a downdraft on the drummondville runway." The Peralta patriarch kept looking at Y/N out of the corner of his eye, feeling uncomfortable under her glare. "It's not my fault" It never is. "Look, i've been making excuses for you my whole life, no matter how many times Y/N told me not to. But you're a pretty crappy father, and until you're ready to be a good one, don't call me" Y/N wanted to jump for joy. She couldn't remember the amount of times she envisioned this moment happening, and to see the shocked expression on their fathers face made it worth the wait.

"Also, im taking your captains hat cause it's cool and I want it" Jake spoke as he reached into the apartment, grabbing the hat from the table that was beside the door, before putting it on. "Go on without me. I'll meet you outside, there's something I need to say" He looked at her as if to say, are you sure? After a reassuring nod, he gave his sisters shoulder a squeeze before heading down the hallway and making his way outside. Not before sending one final glare towards Roger. Y/N waited till she didn't hear Jakes footsteps anymore before turning towards her father once again. "You really messed up this time" Roger went to defend himself, but she held a hand out, not letting him get a word out. "Save it. You're always full of excuses" Y/N couldnt hold her anger back much longer. Years of pent up rage just threatening to burst free. "Jake has been nothing but loving towards you. Even when you don't deserve it. And you show up all of a sudden acting like you want to spend time with him, when all you want to do is use him for your own selfish gain. You should be ashamed of yourself!" "Now hold on..." "I'm not done" He shut his mouth quick enough, surprised at the way his daughter was speaking to him. Y/N was finally letting all of her feelings out and it was making her feel lighter and lighter by the second. "I have spent my whole life trying to protect Jake, and I would like to think i've done a damn good job. So if you don't get serious about being in his life, dont bother coming back. It doesnt matter to me, i've gotten used to you disappointing me, but i'll be damned if I let you hurt him again" Roger Peralta had never felt so put in his place before, but there was also a small feeling of pride. Knowing just how much his children cared for one another. He couldnt think of anything to say, but it didnt matter. Even if he did, he watched as Y/N turn around and walk away at a fast pace, wanting to get away from him as fast as possible. When she got outside, she saw her brother sitting on the front steps of the building with his head in his hands. She carefully approached him and sat beside him on the cold steps, lightly nudging his arm. "Hey, dont think about him, we're better off" He tiredly ran his hands down his face while letting out a long sigh, "I'm so dumb, how could I not see this coming" "Hey, youre not dumb" she protested as she wrapped her arm around is shoulders, not wanting him to feel bad about himself, "you're just a hopeful person, thats a good quality to have" He looked over at her with a small smile, "What did I do to deserve an amazing sister like you" "I dont know, something amazing in a past life" They both laughed before standing up and heading to Y/Ns car, heading back to Shaw's bar where their work family was waiting for them.

[blastlight]

#christian followers feel free to infodump in my inbox

☆hi beam!! okay i'm agnostic (spiritual and leaning hindu) now, but as a kid i used to be catholic (and also hindu at the same time. i was both simultaneously it's Complicated)

☆when i was little (before the Upsettings happened) god was sort of like my imaginary friend that i talked to all the time and demanded stuff from him constantly and i felt super upset whenever i did something to make him "angry". One time when i was 7 i prayed for about a week straight for him to turn me white. I was also convinced he would give me superpowers before i turned ten. I told all my friends about it. and then when it didnt happen i convinced myself it was because i was (vaguely) hindu too and God doesnt like it when i talk to other gods (???????) I won't get into the more traumatic aspect of the whole thing but the thought of someone always watching and the prospect of hell and dying forever messed me up for a good long while

☆surprisingly unrelated to that, i was obsessed with the bible as a kid (not really in a religious way so much as an autism way). My favourite book/section in the bible was leviticus and i just sat there for hours reading over and over what the ancient israelites were supposed to Not Do and the proper rituals that had to happen if they did those things anyway. My second favourite was the book of revelations but that was out of childish spite because at some point I remember the priest at my church saying that nobody understood what revelations meant or what was going on in there and i went "okay I'll just be the first then". I had Theories.

☆i was also going through my ancient history phase around the same time of my obsessive bible phase so every single week at church i bothered every single adult with questions about evolution and why the dinosaurs aren't in the bible until they made me feel too guilty to ask LOL (same thing happened when i asked stuff like why they eat shrimp or wear purple if leviticus says they can't)

☆tldr; i was obsessed with the bible in the way other kids at the time were obsessed with stuff like percy jackson, not because of religion but because i was fascinated by the Lore. But at the same time (and mostly unrelated to my bible interest??) i also believed in god fully and thought he would do stuff for me if i asked nice enough but be also scared me very much. Around age 12 I eventually reasoned myself out of christianity because, among other things, i decided the whole heaven/hell situation wasn't fair and unrealistic and also genesis made zero sense. The religious trauma that came later didn't help but was surprisingly not a driving factor for the most part. I still read the bible sometimes. I think it's fascinating

Oh wow that's way more than I thought anyone would send hahah

Definitely sounds interesting. I can see how you might end up like that but it sounds unusual. i don't know a whole lot about hinduism, but if you want, can you elaborate on how being hindu affected your catholic experience? just for curiosity :>

i relate with the "talking to G-d as if He's my imaginary friend" thing so much. i don't do that much now, but it's just way easier to speak directly than through very specific pre-written prayers sometimes...

hyperfixating on Bible Lore TM is kinda fascinating. i would not have chosen levitcus but i can see the hypothetical appeal of analyzing The Rules. (i was a child of chaos.) i don't know anything about revelations. what is going on in there?

bothering church adults with dinosaur questions is hysterical. also, where does it mention not wearing purple again? because religious jews do follow a lot of the commandments that originated from there, but that one's never come up. seems like a weird mistranslation/misinterpretation maybe?

makes sense why you'd leave based on that, i think that's more or less a common experience with ex-christians from what i've seen? good luck with the rest of that ♡ 👍 ♡

[ickadori]

FORGIVE ME FOR BEING MIA, how you been, dori ??

I was in my little depression slump bc I did in fact not get that job so I was going Through It, but oh welp! In the mean time I see you got into another hyperfixation LOL, I never seen WB but I read everything you write anyways 😚 tho fuck my luck bc I was initially drawn to Endo visually but he's already someone else's bitch apparently 😒 it's okay, I'll fuck takashi or whatever his name is to get that creampie so i can get endo's mouth on me *shrug*

Anyways I've been dealing with my stress by being delulu~

Like imagine after that last drabble where Sukuna called you his girl, you ghost him because of the stress. Like you don't wanna deal with it and fuck it's gonna be so awkward after he finds out you didn't get the job. Honestly, your heart can't handle his teasing, even if he only does it as a joke. You arent in the mood for his smartass mouth, so you silence his notifications and keep on going through the motions.

Tired after weeks of radio silence on your end (and the assumption that yall stopped fuckin around and were on the road to a relationship now) Sukuna makes his way to your house and parks up and WAITS. So imagine his surprise when you finally answer the door and it's not you- it's his step-brother Choso. The place reeks of sex and he can see remnants of your lipstick on Choso's neck.

You couldn't handle Sukuna's tough love, but Choso is nothing like Sukuna. He's sweet and comforting, supportive and exactly what you needed. Hence, you and him have been passing the days together while he took care of you during the day and the night.

Sukuna is livid obviously. All but forces his step-brother out while he goes to yell at you for being a little sell-out slut, but he doesn't get the chance because you look so broken. In a too big shirt that he knows isn't yours, eyebags and a mess of hair. It doesn't take long for him to figure it out. And as much as he wants to yell at you for sleeping with his relative of all people, he's more upset at the implication. You didn't trust him. Maybe you never did. Maybe he's been the only one in this thing the entire time. Before he can get anything past his lips, you answer all his questions in one go.

"It's not like you would have cared anyways."

It's like a dagger to his chest. You have no idea what you mean to him, do you? To be fair, he's never exactly made it a point to convey his feelings. Fine then. He'll show you, talk you through it even. He's going to prove himself in the only way his emotionally constipated ass knows how- and he's gonna start by ripping that shitty shirt you're wearing off.

You're his now. Completely. And he won't let you doubt that again.

-

You ain't gotta write anything on it bc ik ur into WB now, i just desperately needed to get it out somewhere and tbh ur like one of the only ppl i told abt that interview so yeah 😭 me and my lil broken heart jus vibin 😔

-choso bbg anon (keeping his spirit alive and strong)

STEP BROTHER CHOSO????

noooo bc why can i see choso being the perfect rebound man, esp after dealing with someone like sukuna. like you said, sukuna is all tough love and rough edges (in the beginning anyways - he doesn’t start smoothing out until well in the relationship), but choso is the complete opposite.

he’s sweet and understanding and he doesn’t care that you and sukuna used to mess around bc he’s always liked you - he’s the perfect guy to build you back up when you’re feeling low.

ofc that’s not working bc you’re still stuck up sukuna’s ass but it’s an attempt!!

but stop 😭 sukuna being hurt when he sees choso leave your apartment?? that’s what i like to see 🙂‍↕️ unlike the last time where he was uncharacteristically sweet and gentle during sex, he’s going back to his old ways - the ways that got you hooked on him in the first place.

but why do i feel like sukuna took a page out of choso’s corny ass simp book, his words not mine, and had a bouquet of flowers and one of those overly priced teddy bears waiting in the passengers seat for you. he had no idea what he did to fuck up but that man was ready to make amends by any means necessary

[turbulentscrawl]

OMG HI I'M SO SORRY.

I just added some things to the match up and so I'll just copy paste what I sent, along with the updated things. I'm so sorry if this is a bother.

I'm 5'3 with mid length brown hair and bangs. I'm an ENFP-T if that matters lol. I'm also bisexual! I don't really have a preference for gender, nor for hunter/survivors. My favorite colours are green and yellow. I'm a Taurus and my fashion sense sort of. Is like, star-core / star aesthetic if that makes sense? I feel like my love language is to (receive) words of affirmation (give) quality time

Oh gosh, where to start haha!

In general, I'm sort of energetic, friendly and bouncy. I don't find it hard to socialise with people 94% of the time. I am very. Very. Passionate about my autistic special interests (high school Musical, art and general creative acts and such). I'm always on the move and have been described as a manic pixie dream girl at times haha. Despite that, there is always that 6% of the time where I sort of slip up.

I am not a flawless social butterfly, I will admit to that lol. I sometimes grow awkward and quiet, usually because I'm surrounded by people who I don't really know how to talk to or I struggle to mesh well with. This tends to get me excluded from most friend groups because, like, most people don't like loud, awkward messes. On top of that, I'm actually extremely paranoid. I'm terrified of the dark because I'm convinced someone is out to get me, it's kinda funny :3. The paranoia does get really bad, that I struggle to leave my room because like. Again, worried someone is out to get me.

Anyways, that's only 6% of the time!!

I'm insanely creative. I've always been so. I love to read, and write, and draw and paint. It's my special way of expressing myself. I plan on being an author, something I've dreamt of since I was like.. 2? Or something ^w^

I've been told I'm a bit of a rambler, once I get started on something it's difficult for me to stop. Especially when it's something I find fascinating. I love to research topics I like. I have spent an embarrassing amount of time researching early childhood trauma and the way a stressful event can effect a developing mind.

I love being in the spotlight and used to take drama classes because I loved having people's eyes on me. I hope that's not a red flag haha, I just like having attention on me sometimes!

I also used to take horse riding lessons. I was a horse girl as a kid. I'm sorry.

I listen to all kinds of music. Country, rap, pop, jazz. I love experiencing all different kinds of sensations!

I am always somehow moving. Whether that's talking to someone, rocking myself back and forward, I'm always some how on the move.

One of my BIGGEST flaws though is that I'm pretty socially unaware as well. I can come off as rude and insulting without meaning it to be, and unless someone tells me that I'm being insulting, I'll probably double down until someone makes me actually think about what I'm saying.

I think my ultimate deal breaker I'd someone with overly unhealthy attitudes to approaching a relationship. I'm really big with communication so someone who struggles to talk to me if they're feeling upset, or someone who lashes out at me for things I've genuinely never done. If you can't be mature and speak to me like a grown up, I won't want to be with you.

Im sorry!!

sorry for the wait on this! Hope you like <3

I ship you with Demi Bourbon!

-Demi is also a social butterfly who can get along with all sorts of people. She’s highly adaptable, understanding, and friendly, almost to a fault. She’d be just as open and welcoming to you as she is anyone else, regardless of whether you’re in a peak social mood or feeling a little more awkward that day, so meeting and getting to know one another is easy.

-Demi is a very “go with the flow” type in regards to conversation, and she is a fortunate mixture of intuitive and forgiving that means she’s not likely to suddenly fly off the handle if you happen to say something insensitive or insulting (or for any other reason, really.) She prefers to get you alone if she can, quietly let you know that she doesn’t super appreciate whatever was just done or said, and then try to explain why. And if you apologize, she accepts, and what’s done is done.

-On that note, she struggles with deeper communication a little, only because she’s not the most eloquent speaker and sometimes struggles to verbalize her feelings effectively. In this sense, she’s also a bit of a rambler. But as long as you’re a patient and active listener, she’ll get her point across eventually.

-She also loves all kinds of music, and takes interest in other people’s hobbies. She’s not likely to hop up on a horse on her own any time soon, but she thinks it’s neat that you do! And you can talk to her about literally anything—for hours even, as long as she has a drink to keep her hands busy—and she’s completely enthralled the entire time. She remembers just about everything people tell her, and gives Words of Affirmation and Gifts as her love languages, referencing older conversations with those as much as possible.

-Demi isn’t afraid of the dark, but she thinks it’s kinda cute that you are. She wouldn’t make fun of you for it, but she does use it as an excuse to hold your hand and coddle you a bit. I have this cute image of you two settling down for the evening, and Demi holding your hand and charging down the hallway with you the second the light is flipped off. She’s giggling the whole time, and makes sure you get into the next room before her. She’ll be your shield from the monsters ;)

Runner Up: Lucky Guy

[doggoboigaugau]

CW: this is a vent post. it actually doesn't really mention anything too upsetting but it's very personal and will be long so I guess some won't want to bear that.

Yall is 'brother issues' a thing lmao bc the guy i've been talking about keeps making me feel that way 😔😔😔😔

OK so the first thing is the reason why i opt for brother issues rather than daddy issues is because i see him as a big brother, not a dad or anything. And i also don't feel anything romantic or sexual towards him, like in the other post, i only feel (and crave) family-like affection from him.

I guess it's partly because i dont have a big brother or an older male cousin, and during my childhood no one really considered me a boy, so i have always been craving to have a cool big brother or an uncle who will treat me as the boy i am and show me simple acts of affection that men often do to their younger male family members, like hugging shoulders, ruffling hair, sth like that...

It's so nice here when i grew up and escaped from that stupid homophobic and transphobic where i spent my whole childhood and secondary school years and studied in a place where i meet people who respect my identity and really see me as a boy. Including him. And it's not common for me to be closer than a mere acquaintance to a man who is older than me (most of my friends are my age or younger), so being with him makes me have feelings. Like i wanna be important to him so fucking bad.

The "he" in the two pics above is a new close friend of mine. We met in a language class where "he" is the student and im the teaching assistance, and tbh "he" brought me to hella places like bars and pubs and stuff where i had one of the newest and most exciting experiences of my life. "He" is also the person who helps me and the guy i have brother issues about to get closer like we're now. But i feel like the only reason why that guy gets closer to me is just because of "him", bc everything we talk about is related to "him" lmao (besides work ofc).

Earlier this evening, the guy called me out to have a talk, and he told me the exactly things i wrote in the pics above. The feelings i had that moment sucked so bad. I feel jealous over one of my best friends for having an older man considering "him" as a younger brother, i feel like a loser for having such a feeling.

I mean he cared for "him" so fucking much that it's so fucking obvious. And given that one of the main reasons we're best friends is because of out similar family background: we all have sth with dads--"his" biological dad left "him" and "his" mom when "he" was a small child while mine passed away kinda early (my dad was a very great man, but bc of his early passing away i kinda felt-- u know what i meant), we both have to try to work to earn money and support ourselves, and we always care for (and sometimes it even reaches 'stressing over') our moms and sisters. So when that guy told me he wants to help and care for my friend as much as he can bc of "his" family background, i just feel jealous so bad, and i hate myself so much for that yk. Watching someone having the things that u'll never have. im supposed to feel happy for my friend for meeting such a great man, and tbh i do, but still i cannot help feeling jealous and i fucking despise myself for that.

I'm not the luckiest person with romantic love (in fact, my love life is just a pile of mess) and i've kinda given up on finding someone who really loves me lmao... and now even this i can't have. I feel like i'll have to take care of myself forever🥲🥲🥲🥲 like having no one to care for you like that guy with my best friend... It's like i'll never have what i wanna have and it's my fucking fate to keep watching other people having what i desire. All my life i've just been standing in a distance and watching people having those of things, having a big brother, having a close-knit friend group, having a healthy romantic love,... fuck it sucks so bad i hate my life lmao

I never plan to grow old 💀👍 like i'll die (kms) as soon as i think my job here on earth in this life is over 💀💀💀

[ubike-official]

having some communication issues with an irl. hhh let me spin my yarn in the read more

so i have this irl that I've just been loathing speaking to more and more for months. Like we used to talk a lot and have a good dialogue going andall, but increasingly more and more I'll call her to want to talk about smth and she just bulldozers all over me. and by the time i can get a word in I'm just so mentally spent listening to her and trying to respond meaningfully that I can't even remember what it was I wanted to talk about. And I've mentioned this to her. we had a big talk about this after she got drunk one night and it was just a giant mess. ANd she was doing better for a while, and I just hate that I have to bring it up again constantly like, hey. remember what I said about you not really making me feel heard. Bc like Idk, i have this thing and noticed it in a lot of others that when there's a moment of silence you usually ask the other person if they're good or give them free reign of the conversation when you've already talked a lot. and she never does that. Or she'll ask me questions abt a new topic she wants to talk about rather than giving me a moment to collect myself and talk about something I want to bring up. And like, i know part of it is on me. I have a knack for speaking like I'm ending a conversation. But like, it's infuriating because she always just starts talking about herself every single time, and like, i don't want to be self centered but god can i share anything abt my life for a second??

i know she's had a rough childhood and never felt safe or secure with her family and its not about me. It's about trying to scratch that itch of finally getting to express yourself when you get beat down every time you try by caretakers. I know how that hurts but like, fuck. I've had the same upbringing and I squashed down that part of me from early on. ANd that sucks, no one asked me to do that and I shouldn't have had to. But I've expressed this to her and she seemed to get it, but I guess not and it's so infuriating. And even when I do get a word in and say my piece I feel like she never truly engages with me in what I say. She immediately thinks of herself and how'd she'd react. And I get it, that's very normal. But in every conversation... like stop it!!

Our friend went through a really devastating breakup earlier this year and she's still processing it. ANd she was telling us about this earlier this week and the friend I'm upset with legit listened only to turn the conversation to herself like "if you can't find love, then what does that mean for me? Then I'm really hopeless!"

and again i get it, its not personal. It stems from a lack of care early on that is still unhealed. But oh my god, our friend is crying her heart out abt a breakup with someone she was going to marry!! and you are gonna make this about you while she's still choking back tears!! TIme and place!! I'm just sick of it. ANd I don't even know how to bring it up bc i know this friend is always being told she's too sensitive and too self centered and it makes her worse each time. It's just cruel at this point but I don't know any good way to express this growing resentment. Maybe there is no good way! Like fucked if I do and fucked if i don't. Bc it's not fair to her to not communicate my needs and grow resentments slowly but it's also not fair to me to just ignore it. fuck yk!!! I know legit all my friends have had this issue with her and talk to her abt it, hell i've had this conversation like 3 times now but i'm sick of it. I want to be patient, I know how much trauma affects our ability to grow. but like !?!?!? hhhhhhh

[alvaroz-starrs]

This is very self indulgent, and I would like to share my fanfics. Yes. There is a part two, I'll see when I'll post that in my scheduled thingys <3 (this was made like two weeks ago)

I like you. have a byortis fan-fic

Dance with me!

Byron x Mortis

(Note: The most intimate they get are neck kisses, little bit of making out, and cuddles, also there is some swearing)

"Huh, you've changed things up" Byron looked around the room, the furniture was rearranged and the cobwebs were gone.

"I just thought I'd spruce things up for your next visit, dear." Mortis guided Byron towards two chairs sat across from each other, with a table in between that had some wine with glasses.

In the corner of the room there was a table that contained a record player on it, right next to it was a bookshelf, with what seemed to be spell books.

Byron sat down across from Mortis. Scanning around the room. Spotting new objects, recognizing old ones.. why'd he have this pit in his stomach..?

"How has work been?" Mortis knew Byron wasn't one for small-talk, but he was genuinely curious, not only that, but Byron seemed anxious. He was just trying to find a way to ease him.

"Ah..well, some of the guests have been less than..corporative."

"What do you mean?"

"They've just been a bit more.. untrusting lately." Byron sounded tired and frustrated, but can you really expect the guests to trust a snake-oil salesman?

"Can you really blame them? The park as a whole isn't very.. up to code." Mortis paused for a moment. "And- after all, you are a bit of a con man."

"A BIT?!" Byron chimed in, Mortis thought he had upset him-"DON'T TAKE CREDIT AWAY FROM ME!" He was smiling, Mortis felt glad he wasn't upset.

"I'm not my dear," Mortis smiled. It had been a while since they were able to talk like this. "I just didn't expect you to take such..pride, in it"

"Might as well embrace it, I suppose." Byron looked up at Mortis, it seemed like he wanted him to say something, something in the back of his mind?- "Erm, how has your side of the park been?" "Any trouble with Willow?"

Mortis shifted in his chair a bit, "No, dear. She took it surprisingly well, I'm glad she wasn't too disappointed." "Oh, have you heard about the enchanted woods recently?'

Byron was confused, what about the woods? Wasn't that just an empty part of the park they would go to when they were young? "No, I haven't, I've been too busy I guess,"

"Do you remember that gardener who disappeared a while back?"

"Ah, don't tell me he died-"

"NO! no, no. He was found in those woods, he's doing.. alright I suppose, but those spores from the mushrooms messed with his head. Not only that but the enchanted spells on it didn't help his sanity."

"Oh, I guess that means we shouldn't go back?" Byron seemed disappointed, but also a little surprised. Not every day you hear that someone was corrupted by a mushroom.

"..Did you have plans to?" Why would he want to go back? He never liked it there when they were kids, Byron always fell in the creek. Mainly because Mortis pushed him in each and every time they went there.

"Ah- uh- no. I was.. Just thinking."

Did he have plans to go there? Why?

"..Uhm, would you like me to change the subject?" Was he okay? Was he thinking of doing anything harmful to himself? He did seem to feel down lately-

"I just wanted to go there..with you. Like when we were little, and you'd push me in the fucking creek."

"I said I was sorry! You-!"

"Uh-huh, suuuuureee. Each time we went there you pushed me in! You know what I had to do in order to avoid the wrath of my father???"

"YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME, YOU PETTY BITCH!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"..."

"Pft"

"Hahahah!"

"Hah, sorry." What a dumb time. Mortis could only think fondly of it though.

"It's alright, I had fun there. I know we both did."

Mortis poured some of the wine on the table into two cups, and passed one to Byron. They drank together, and that pit in Byron's stomach was slowly disappearing.

"Oh, on the topic of the past," Mortis walked over to the corner of the room with the record player.

"Did you find a nice song left behind by your parents?"

"Nope, even better. Just give me a moment to put it on."

The music started up slowly, why did it sound so familiar-

"Do you remember that song you used to listen to before Edgar and Colette were born?"

"Yes, it was my favorite song. How did you find it-?"

"I found some old copies of that disc. I thought it would be perfect for the next time you visited." Mortis grinned and walked towards the chair Byron was sitting in and leaned on it. Eyeing him, he then moved toward the front of the chair.

"What-?"

"Dance with me!" Mortis pulled Byron up from the chair, holding one of his hands with his own, and placing the other on Byron's hip.

"No, I.. uhm" He blushed a bit.

"You always used to dance to this song! It made you so happy." Mortis wrapped both of his arms around Byron, pulling him in. Close.

"It's just been a while since I've heard this song. Let alone danced." He was a little embarrassed, good thing they were alone for the most part..

"Remember I didn't even know how to? I still don't-"

"Then you can just follow my lead once again."

Hah, how persistent. "You're not giving me much of a choice are you?" Byron smiled, wrapping his own arms around Mortis.

"Not until I see how you used to smile~" Mortis spun around the room with Byron in his grasp for what seemed like an eternity, but they both couldn't stop smiling. Byron stumbled a bit, but Mortis kept catching him. After a few minutes of back and forth spins, Mortis leaned in.

Byron's face kept progressively getting redder, and hotter. Mortis leaning in didn't make it stop.

"I remember how much you laughed and smiled when I danced with you."

"Yes, I was uh, flustered." As much as he'd hate to admit it, it was true. As he spun with Mortis, he was completely lost in the moment. He couldn't stop smiling.

"Once you were the one who had to persuade me to dance."

"Only because I didn't know how! I needed you in order to dance in the first place!"

"Admit it, you enjoyed it as much as I did." Mortis pushed Byron's face up, softly pulling in, touching his lips.

"I-" Interrupted by something soft, unexpected, but lovely.

Mortis kissed him. Interrupting what little Byron had to argue. Byron felt warm and fuzzy. Instead of that pit in his stomach, he had butterflies. Mortis guided him to the chair he was originally sitting in. Gently holding him, expecting him to sit next to him..Byron was sitting on his lap, still shocked and flustered.

Mmmhmm..

"Have you 'regained consciousness' yet?" Mortis poked Byron on the cheek, expecting more of a reaction, but only getting Byron to playfully push his hand away.

"You're a jerk you know…" Byron's face was beet red, he leaned on Mortis, and was pulled in closer.

"I hate you"

"And here you are sitting on my lap? I never asked you to, dear." It was true, Mortis' grasp on Byron's waist had eased. Byron leaned in even more, waiting for another kiss.

"Jerk."

Mortis responded,

"Bitch"

"Twink!" Byron replied,

"Dumbass" Mortis smiled after saying that. Teasing him, and poking him quickly on the nose.

"...can you kiss me again?.." Their foreheads were touching, Byron's hands were on Mortis' face.

Mortis' lips touched Byrons. Loving every second that Mortis embraced him.

"..Mm....what a blushing mess you are Ron,"

"Look in a mirror dummy" Byron kissed Mortis again, but Mortis made his way into kissing Byron's neck.

The repetitive pecking and biting was almost too much to handle for Byron.

"S-stop! PffftHahah!! s-stop it!" Mortis slowed the kissing on Byron's neck, it tickled him, "Mortimer!"

"Sorry dear. Your laugh and smile, it's just so cute." Mortis moved away from his neck, giving him some space to breathe. Mortis ran his hands through Byron's hair.

"Mortis?"

"Yes Rony?" Mortis said, then pulling away to get a better look at Byron.

"Can…may I stay the night with you?"

"Wha- you-you want to stay?" Mortis was shocked, but this was a pleasant surprise.

"The kids are over at a sleepover, and uhm… maybe we could have some sort of our own" Byron cuddled up on Mortis, grabbing his hand and placing it on his own, bringing it up to place on his face.

"Pretty childish way of phrasing it.. sorry."

"Don't apologize. I like the idea, we can spend more time with one another." Mortis pulled Byron in, surrounding both of them with warmth.

"In that case, may I stay?.."

"Of course you can, Byron."

"...can you kiss me once more?"

Mortis smiled, pulling Byron up towards him. "Of course my dearest snake."

Mwah♡

The brain rot is strong with this one

[fairyswg]

bunny <3

I love you very very much. I really hope you read this sometime. All the way through. I think you were wrong about me.

I wrote you an essay, this isn't it. I was going to hide it somewhere in a place only you could find. And then I was going to retire this account so it'd stay only for you. I thought you deserved a really romantic gesture, you still do, but not that one and probably not from me.

I still think I'll probably retire this account.

I want start by saying I'm really sorry for upsetting you over last weekend. Before that Friday I'd spent the past week closing myself off as I watched you get further and further away from me and once you came back it came rushing out and then it closed up again. I wanted to wait until I was open again, because that's what you deserve. I think I probably ended up making you feel the way I did that passed week. Opening yourself up for someone only for them to parade around talking to other people and still ignoring you. I hope you know I never ignored you. The same way I know you weren't ignoring me.

When you came back on Monday you were upset and I understand why. I really am sorry. You must've felt like I'd just left you out to dry after you'd tried to open back up for me and the mess I made outside of that couldn't have helped in the least.

But when you did come back I was still glued shut, and I'd been trying really hard to be me again. For the first time ever it became really hard to open up. You were rightfully upset but what you said in your anger was horrifying for me. I don't think you know the power you have over me, the total control you have over me.

You know I'm not full of myself, or self-centred. You know that I don't act a certain way or lie. You know that I've never tried to guilt trip you. But I can't know that. Not for certain. Not always. So when you said those things, just like in December, I couldn't help but believe you. I rarely ever stand up for myself, not with someone I love as much as you. You know - most of all - that I always do listen to you. I think that was the biggest problem. I trust your word so much that I take everything you say as the truth. Obviously I don't blame you at all, you were upset and I should've recognised that, it was me that put so much weight on the words you said.

I think I've only ever lost myself twice in my life. The first time in December, when I hurt you and you told me just how awful I'd been, I started to genuinely believe I was evil. I started questioning the intentions I had behind every nice thing I did, even the things I did unconsciously. It took me weeks to forgive myself for it. I still know what I did was horrible, I’m still so sorry. I swore I'd never let it happen again, but when I hurt you again last week and you called me all those things, the same thing happened. I went crazy, I'm really sorry for how I acted, I was completely hysterical.

I wrote you an essay on Tuesday, when I still believed I was some sort of gross sociopathic weirdo, but it didn't feel right posting it. It was only yesterday, Wednesday, in the afternoon that I finally talked to a friend about it and hearing myself cry, hearing myself talk about you, how much I love you, was enough to remind me how innocent my love for you really is. The love I have for you is the purest thing I’ve ever cultivated. All those times you hurt me and I forgave you. All those times you left and you came back. I was never confident at all that you'd come back, I'm not cocky or proud in that way. I mourned you every time you left. Even the very first time, when you were only gone for a morning. That was the first time I cried over someone leaving me.

And every time I let you back in it was because I really thought I could make you happy. I hope you know already that I really really tried to make you happy. The most beautiful thing you showed me was always your smile, the most beautiful things you said to me were always,

'You've changed me for the better',

'You're the best thing that's ever happened to me',

'You make it easier to breathe',

'You make me feel alive.'

I gave you everything, over and over again. I love you but when you called me what you did you made me question my intentions, to the point I believed I was insane. Those things you labelled me with, I almost let manifest in myself, because that's how sacred your word is to me. You say I don't listen but it's the exact opposite. You have always been everything to me. Over and over again you carved your name into my bones and now I’ll always feel you when I pick at my scars.

I don't think I'll ever post that essay now, parts of it are lovely and I wish I could show you those parts, but there are parts I despise. The little flicks of self-loathing and pity, it reads like a letter from a bad dog who'd disobeyed its owner. I love you more than anything, but you can't convince me I was a bad dog. I can say with the utmost certainty now that everything I did - I did because I wanted to make you happy, even the mistakes I made. Even the times I disobeyed you, I only wanted to impress you or make you proud of me in some way but all those times when you disapproved it felt like you’d slapped me in the face, and not in a good way 0_o .

I really hope this doesn’t hurt you at all. I let myself go and I’m the only one to blame. I promised you I wouldn’t let you ruin me, and you haven’t. I’m sure we’ll both be okay. I know I don’t really want to love anyone else for a long while. I know I’ll never love anyone the way I loved you. You’re still the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You’re still so perfect. I really wish we could’ve been better for each other.

The things I said about you in that essay are things you deserve to hear thousands of times, you deserve everything, but I think it should come from another boy now (or girl ^-^). You really are everything. I keep editing this because I want to say more nice things, I know I should leave it to someone else now but you really mean so much to me. You’re the kindest, warmest most loving person I’ve ever met. I remember everything we used to talk about, I always will now. You told me you wanted to be a teacher, I think you’ll be the best teacher there is.

You're already looking for another boy to love, I can't help but feel a little betrayed by that. But I love you more than anything. These past 5 months would've been the worst of my life without you, but you made me the happiest I've ever been. I'll always love you so much. I think I'll miss you long after you forget my name, but I don't mind. I still hope I'll be a fairy in your mind somewhere, the same way you'll always be hopping through mine.

I love you forever bunny <3