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sasodei-is-real · 4 years

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Know what annoys me the most about the naruto fandom? Sakura Haters. Sakura is one of the most realistic characters. She is a wonderful character with a developing conflict. She is loving, caring, strong and progressing both in terms of inner peace and strength. Even from the very first episodes, she develops. I have so many things to say, but I don't have time right now. Someday I will analyze Sakura.

She is a strong persona, with her good and bad accounts. She is a realistic character with a conflict familiar to us all. The fandom ignores hard, but vadny and sacrificial decisions on her part, calling it stupid egoism.

She goes through metomorphosis and self-awareness. And with the help of this, she becomes an integral personality. She is sensitive and emotional, but some call the manifestation of humanity - weakness.

Her loyalty and devotion are "she runs after the boy." And when, with all her strong feelings, she accepts a deadly complex decision with it's reasons (to kill Sasuke) that turns her into a more complex and multi-faceted person, people ignore this and call it stupid, I don’t take the whole and the whole point of the decision.

Her attempt to become a whole and separately confident and independent person, people call the act of a bad friend. They call it "She fell out with her best friend over a boy", not realizing that Sasuke had nothing to do with it. She wanted to become Ino's equal. Not to be a girl who was protected by a friend by giving a red bandage and holding it under her wing, but a flower blossoming thanks to her.

And this is evidenced by the symbolic scene with a red armband.

Everyone is shouting about the comic "Ino Pig", while everyone ignores the moments of joy for the success of their friend. Sakura blossomed. And instead of the red bandage - which Ino gave her to stop being ashamed of herself, her friend returns the ninja bandage to her, as an equal and formed person.

And do not forget that for Ino herself, Sasuke was only a pretext for getting in terms with Sakura. She was even annoyed with Sasuke. Because he made Sakura feel insecure.

(Ino is generally a very deep character and we need to talk about her separately)

Her relationship with Sasuke is called abusive and stupid chasing a boy. Like "She's an addicted fool. Sasuke treats her like that and she runs after him." You need to understand the difference between an abusive attitude and a psychological state. We are all humans. And we are all unpredictable. With close contact, especially when not the best things happen to us, we can hurt each other. This is not an abuse. This is a difficult psychological condition in which a person behaves aggressively and can hurt others. You may not notice it, but we are all like that. And of course, no one has the right to hurt you. So you can turn around and walk away. Or, take the blow and stay close to loved ones. Sakura and Naruto chose the second option. Sasuke is the most broken character. All his life, he ignored his own desires for a ghostly goal. And having reached it, he learned the truth and was empty. Sasuke from an early age threw his character into the far corner, and after the truth about Itachi, only broken fragments of his personality remained. Then, until the very battle with Naruto, Sasuke ignored his feelings and desires for the sake of a goal. First for revenge, and then in an attempt to preserve their partial integrity in the desire to create a world according to the ideal and understanding of the older brother. During the battle with Naruto, he cries. He understands that he is not obliged to kill those dear to him.

Sakura and Naruto took the hit. Sometimes to her own detriment, but Sakura decided to stay close to her loved one despite his condition. And the first thing Sasuke did after realizing and accepting everything was to apologize to Sakura.

Human relations are a complex and multifaceted thing, like ourselves. And to judge them by the one-sided words "abuse" when it is inappropriate is ridiculous and stupid.

Many call her cruel because of Naruto's beating. They call her a terrible person because of the stupid statement of a ten-year-old girl "he has no parents." But everyone forgets that from that moment on, her attitude towards Naruto began to develop.

Here's the introduction. You are over thirty years old. You are now a conscious person who has gone through a lot and already understands others and your feelings. And you are being judged by a silly statement when you were ten.

She realized how it is to be lonely, because the loved one is gone.

She realized how it is, to feel like a weak link and worthless. She started to work hard and one of her main motivators was Naruto. She realized how hard it was for a friend and this was the impetus for a request for training with Tsunade. She began to accept rejection and a desire to become stronger. For Naruto's sake, she made difficult decisions and lied. I agree, she's not the deepest person from this point of view, but she lied in the hope of protecting Naruto. She became attached to him. At one point, Naruto became the sunshine feeding sakura. And now, after Sasuke's attempt to kill her, she does not scream about her feelings. She screams about Naruto's feelings. "He always believed in you!"

They call her arrogant, forgetting that she has always struggled with insecurity.

Her thoughts were "I always act around Naruto like I know everything, but ...". I think this is familiar to all of us. Have you ever been like pretending to be know-it-all because you feel like you're not good enough? Same. Sakura accepted this and decided to fight.

Even as she became more mature, she felt insecure and grateful to Ino and Chioji for offering to participate with them in the Chuunin exam.

She felt terrible as she couldn't do much for Naruto.

She is a very symbolic character. Moreover, both from the point of view of subjective (egoistic) reality, and from the point of view of symbolism. She is sandwiched between Sasuke and Naruto. She is forced to be close to strong people, demigods and try not to be a burden. She is like a third superfluous trapped in someone else's conflict. But thanks to her care and feelings, from the third superfluous she became a symbolic balance between the two polarities. She is like The middle and balance of what is happening. A loving and reliable person. Home for both.

This is a difficult role. Painful. To love both and watch their suffering

(Someday we'll better reveal her symbolic role in interacting with Naruto and Sasuke)

I won't even talk about her strength development. Those who say Sakura is useless ate blind ignorants

And we have not even talked yet about her main conflict. About the manifestation of self-identity, to which led her , her care for friends. About her willpower. About hard work.

Sakura is the most realistic character. She was middling. Just a human. Who realized her role. Bravely accepted her weakness in order to be able to become strong. Everyone can see it in themselves. In different aspects. Sakura is a very symbolic character.

In a word.

I love her. You can treat her whatever you like. But the character hating, while you don't even understand what it is about ... you better keep quiet. It looks pathetic.

Now I have a lot to do. But I am writing this post at night because it has accumulated.

When I have time, after all the promised analyzes, and also sasodei topic, I will take apart the Sakura character. She is wonderful.

Love her🌸💙

P.S. I have a lot to do now (*^*) Sasori and Deidara are in my heart 🐥❤🦂 And many work on my hand too sooo.... eehh😅😅😂😂

I hope you are doing well🦋

Love you💙💜💗

#naruto #naruto shippuden #sakura #sakura haruno #sasuke #sasuke uchiha #sasusaku #narusaku #inosaku #ino #ino yamanaka #sasori #deidara #akatuski

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mira--mira · 3 years

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Hi! I was wondering

How do you think Hashirama and Madara would be in a Road to Ninja version?

I remember once reading a Hashimada fic (which I never finished RIP) that was about Madara appearing in the RTN universe and the 3 things that stucked with me were:

1.- Madara was the first Hokage (something that Madara thought was horrible when he saw his sculpted face on the Hokage mountain 🤣)

And personally I think that it would not have been like that even in the RTN universe because we didn't see his face along with the other faces of Hokages in the movie (Yeah, apparently I'm basing myself on a movie which I'm not even sure if it's canon or not, even though Kishimoto wrote it) and the RTN characters didn't seem to even know who Madara is.

2.- Hashirama having his bowlcut as an adult

And I agree with the Madara from that fanfic, it looks awful on him. Hashirama, babe, I'm sorry but the only ones who can rock that style are Guy Sensei and Rock Lee, I know you just were trying to be cool but it doesn't suite you.

3.- Tobirama was a porn writer

Instead of being a fan of forbidden jutsu and creating justus, he wrote porn novels a la Jiraiya. And I'll hold that headcanon with my dead hands.

The only other fanfic that places the founders in the RTN universe is one where the protagonist is Mito (it's an interesting one-shot that pairs her with Itama 🤔)

She was kind of a shy person 🤔? And so it was Tobirama 🤣 which I found fun.

Hashirama, as the first fanfic I mentioned, was the Tobirama of the place (saddenly Madara wasn't in this fic).

So I would like to know what are your versions of the founders (or only Hashirama and Madara if it is too much) in the RTN universe! And how do you think things would be

Hmm, RTN is an interesting concept to me but, to be honest, I don't think Konoha would exist if a lot of personalities got flipped 😂 I haven't read any RTN fics with the founders, but if you, or anyone else, have links at hand I'd love to check them out 👀

1. Madara

Here's the big one and the crux of why I don't think the village would exist. Typically I characterize Madara as an extremely responsible man who internalizes things when he shouldn't, takes himself way too seriously, is aggressive and abrasive even to people he loves sometimes, but genuinely loves the people closest too him. Reversing this would make a character that slacks off, takes no responsibility, and is completely passive in life and has fleeting attachments to others around him. Assuming he wouldn't die on the battlefield, I could see the RTN "alternate" personality coming about of Madara's being so overpowered and competent that he loses interest and distances himself from things before he can get attached and lose them.

It makes building a village very hard though. (At first I was tempted to go RTN Sasuke route and maybe RTN!Madara is a little more openly flirty than canon!Madara, but the passivity and refusal to take responsibility would be the "core" qualities for me.)

2. Hashirama

Hashirama is a bit weird because he has a lot of surface-level "conflicting" traits in canon. He is optimistic but he pushes beyond his natural attitude and uses it as a mask to hide instead of addressing his feelings. He's mischievous, likes jokes and games, and can be a bit hedonistic with his pleasure but can equally be serious when necessary and will willingly sacrifice for others around him. And simultaneously, Hashirama and Madara are connected by a shared sense of idealism but also anger. Hashirama is a very kind, but extremely angry, man. I think a RTN!Hashirama would share a kind of apathy of RTN!Madara but instead of passivity his lack of anger would manifest as cruelty. Because canon!Hashirama is angry but his anger is usually a righteous kind. I don't think RTN!Hashirama would go out of his way to be cruel, but he doesn't have the empathy of canon!Hashirama, especially to others' suffering. He enjoys fighting just a bit too much and has no qualms about killing. In his mind, he should always come first in any situation and prioritizing (or even considering) others' is effort and him going out of his way to be "nice" and the other should be thankful. Similarly if he feels any negative emotion, he won't bottle it up and swallow it down, he'll immediately address it, usually confrontationally. RTN!Hashirama is as intelligent as his canon counterpart but he doesn't suffer fools and he hates it when people underestimate him. He's pretty proud and vain, tbh.

I really don't think the above would make him the "Tobirama" of RTN verse. To me Hashirama and Tobirama have different core values and perspectives and inverting Hashirama's doesn't make it become Tobirama's, if that makes sense. This one is also wordy bc I immediately knew how RTN!Madara would be RTN!Hashirama is a bit harder to pin down. But I hope it's clear why I have doubts about the village existing...maybe if RTN!Hashirama got it in his mind as a pet project for the hell of it, that he'd be a better leader for the country and not just the Senju alone, and RTN!Madara liked the idea of no responsibility and being able to detach even further than he already was? But that's still kind of grasping for a reason.

3. Hashimada

Equally I think any Hashirama/Madara relationship would be ehhh. They definitely wouldn't have the overwhelming bond of their canon counterparts, and it could be a relationship ripe for unhappiness. The closest I can think of to making the ship work is RTN!Madara would be drawn to Hashirama's absurd level of self-confidence and able to let the casual cruelty slide off instead of getting worked up about it. In a way RTN!Hashirama is stable and predictable. If he's pretty overpowered, there's less of a chance RTN!Madara would lose him, so their relationship isn't deep but it's more or less dependable and Madara knows exactly what he's going to get. In contrast RTN!Hashirama has an audience in the form of RTN!Madara and a partner that's not going to push back against his ideas. RTN!Madara doesn't ask for much and he doesn't complain when RTN!Hashirama puts himself first. He doesn't want, or might not be capable of, the deep emotional bond their canon counterparts have. RTN!Madara wouldn't leave Konoha (if it existed) in the AU, because he doesn't really care. If someone upset RTN!Hashirama and he decided to leave to 'do it right' RTN!Madara would probably follow, maybe out of some loyalty for RTN!Hashirama but mostly because it's what's easiest.

4. Tobirama

The core of Tobirama's character to me is prioritizing logic over emotion and both a conscious and unconscious failure to realize he can't completely eliminate emotion. Tobirama loves his brother, he's curious and has a desire to find out what makes things work and is willing to bend morality to get results if it'll serve a greater good. He's very aware of the unfairness of the world but believes it's an unspoken truth of humanity and can only be mitigated through logical means, but never completely erased. He'll be the sacrificial lamb, the one that works in shadows so his brother can have his utopian dream. Despite everything, he loves his genin, the strongest bonds he has aside from Hashirama, and does try to instill in them lessons he think will help them and lead to peace and stability in the village. He's still influenced by the prejudices of his time and can never find it in him to truly forgive the Uchiha.

A RTN!Tobirama would be a man ruled by emotion. Him writing erotica all day definitely could be one way this manifests lol. But overall he's sensitive and spiritual and can't stand the idea of killing. He and RTN!Hashirama don't get along and he actively tries to avoid his brother. RTN!Tobirama has equally strong principles as canon!Tobirama, but they're pacifist in nature and while he likes his studies, he prefers to be out talking to people and learning from them first hand. He's very naive and can be easily taken advantage of and he has trouble focusing on any one thing for too long. No matter how many times this happens, he never can harden his heart or be overly suspicious of others. RTN!Tobirama would most likely be the one support peace in this AU. He embraces the Uchiha and all the Senjus past enemies with open arms, almost to a foolish degree. It'd be a bad idea if he became hokage in this AU because he's a terrible negotiator and has a bad people-pleasing streak and struggles with long-term tactics. With the exception of RTN!Hashirama, who he considers an aberration who doesn't have a soul, humans at their core all have good intentions at heart.

5. Mito

I characterize Mito as a very level-headed woman. Her marriage to Hashirama is political in nature but they grow to be good friends and she never expected to fall in love and she's glad Hashirama didn't want a traditional wife. Mito is devoted to her community work (she works hands-on with people in the village), she seeks out connections with others and, despite the distance, remains close with her family in Uzushio, constantly writing them letters. She's spiritual and follows the Uzumakis' beliefs (not gonna list this OoT spoiler lol) and studies fuinjutsu in her spare time, something she's done since she was a child. She is willing to sacrifice if it meant protecting something she considered greater than herself, much to her own personal detriment. She loves and is proud of her children and grandchildren, but if she had a choice, she would have chosen to remain childless, she finds her true calling elsewhere.

RTN!Mito, similarly to RTN!Tobirama, is ruled by emotions. She dreams of one day making a good marriage for herself and centers romance and being a mother as her ideal life, but she's extremely picky when it comes picking the perfect husband. RTN!Mito knows how much she's worth and she refuses to settle and will not even entertain the idea of an arranged marriage. She has a hard time forming long-lasting, deep bonds with other people and views starting her own family as the solution to this problem. At times she can be a bit absent-minded and unintentionally selfish, but she's not actively malicious. She blusters a lot and depending on the situation can come off as cold and uncaring, but it's only to hide the depth of her true feelings and loneliness. In this AU she would absolutely refuse to marriage RTN!Hashirama. Nothing on hell or earth, could make her change her mind.

Mito is such a blank-slate character it feels like writing an oc more than a canon character, tbh. And this is something I don't see brought up a lot but a "heart full of love" to combat the kyuubi's hatred to me has never been exclusive to romantic or familial (to children) love. *cough* I want a complex female character who's not vilified for not wanting to have children and/or regretting having them *cough* Mito's "love" was for the people of Konoha and Uzushio. My personal headcanon regarding her and Hashirama's child (I don't think she had more than one) was that she was dedicated to her son, but quickly realized being a mother wasn't her dream or something she even actively liked. The kid was well-cared for and she was dutiful towards him, but Hashirama was the parent that loved and embraced him with his whole heart and it led to some tension between Mito and her son as the kid could tell the difference and neither of them were "wrong" to feel the way they did. This is why Tsunade was shown with Hashirama instead of Mito, he was a lot more present in her life when she was young (instead of Kishi just not having made Mito as a character yet). But after Hashirama and Tsunade's dad died (and then Nawaki), she and Mito grew close but it was definitely more of a friendship or student/mentor relationship rather than a traditional grandmother/granddaughter relationship but both were satisfied with it and loved eachother. Likewise I didn't want RTN!Mito's characterization to be shallow and hit misogynistic undertones with her being an "opposite" to Mito's calm, level-headed, focused on her work/passions characterization.

6. Closing thoughts

#1: Wow this got long #2: I feel conflicted about RTN because it seemed to flip surface-level characteristics instead of deep characterizations, and ignored flaws altogether. The ones above, esp. Hashirama and Madara's, are kind of dark in a way? But that's the only way it makes sense to me...Gai and Lee caring about style and being stylish is a funny joke but if you were to actually poke and prod and say their personalities were inverted, neither of them would be top-notch ninja as we know...unless I'm just completely misremembering RTN because I realize it's been years since I saw it lol. Anyway, hope this was entertaining!

#naruto #hashimada #hashirama senju #madara uchiha #mito uzumaki #tobirama senju #asks #al-stuffy #rtn au #long post

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tetsuroyaoyaoya · 4 years

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A Crow Without Wings

tsukishima kei x reader - part three

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A frustrated sigh passed your lips as you ran a hand over your face. Some part of you couldn’t help but think over Kiyoko’s proposal to be the team’s new manager, and yet the other part of you was still screaming at you to reject it. On one hand, it really would be nice to belong to a team, to go to games, and feel what it was like to be a champion again. Although, you still weren’t sure whether you could manage with the fact that you weren’t the one playing anymore, and it was really beginning to eat you up inside as you continued to think it over.

Feeling someone gently nudge you from your thoughts, your eyes drifted over to Aihara as she pulled up a seat from one of the empty desks and placed it next to yours, sitting down and pulling out her lunch. Aihara and Sasuke had become pretty much your only two girl friends since your transferred to the school – if you didn’t count Kiyoko, that is. After they had approached you on that first day, you all had eaten together pretty much every lunch, the only exceptions being when Sasuke was forced to spend her lunches catching up on homework she had forgotten about, like today. During that time, you had all slowly become closer, and you were glad to have found friends almost straight away.

“Be careful, you might get lost in there.” She knocked her knuckles on the crown of your head and giggled as you winced, a hand reaching up to soothe the spot she had hit. Letting out a whine, you rested your forehead on the desk, your eyes trained to the floor. Aihara placed a comforting hand on your shoulder and you turned your head towards her, keeping it laid on the desk. She gave you a small smile of encouragement, probably having taken an educated guess at what was on your mind. You had told the two girls about Kiyoko’s offer and they had both urged you to take the leap and go for it, but also understood why you were struggling to decide, since they also knew about your injury.

If every step you took wasn’t a reminder enough about what had happened to your knee, then becoming the manager of the team definitely would be. And yet, you couldn’t stop thinking that it may be a good thing for you; to finally push yourself and get over it all. It was just so conflicting.

There was a brief knock at the classroom door and each ‘thud’ resonated in your head, alerting you to the oncoming migraine that was brewing. All of this thinking had begun to give you headaches recently.

“Daichi-senpai?” Daichi? Third-year volleyball captain, Daichi? Finally lifting your head from the desk, you looked over to see all three volleyball playing seniors at the door.

And they were all looking at you.

“Rei-chan!” Sugawara sent you one of his unbelievably contagious smiles and you physically couldn’t restrain yourself from giving him one back, even if you had wanted to. They gestured for you to join them out in the hall and you begrudgingly pulled yourself from your seat and walked over, ignoring the many stares from the others in the class.

There was a cool draught in the hallway, and you breathed it in as it helped you relieve some of the tension that had been building up over the past few days.

“You okay?” Asahi looked you over quickly in concern, and your brushed him off with a gentle smile.

“Yeah, I’m doing okay. How about you guys? What brings you here?” They all looked at you and an uneasy feeling settled at the bottom of your stomach. They were up to something, you knew it. They had the same look as Kiyoko had.

“Have you spoken to Shimizu recently?” Letting out a groan, you let your head fall back against the wall you were leant against. They just had to remind you of the one thing that you were trying not to think about.

“I don’t know!” You blurted out while in the midst of your inner conflict with yourself, surprising the boys stood in front of you.

“You… don’t know if you’ve spoken to her?” Looking back at Daichi, he was grinning at you with a concerning amount of cockiness, and you raised an eyebrow, trying to hint as the fact he didn’t want to test you right now.

“Yes, I have spoken to her, but I don’t know how to answer her yet.”

“Well, what did she ask you?” You blinked. Were they being serious, or had you just completely misjudged the situation?

“You don’t know?” All three of them shook their heads.

“Then why are you here?” Honestly, you had grown to love the boys, but you had come to learn that sometimes they were more of less functioning with the same brain, and you had a feeling that now was one of those times.

“Did she ask you to be our manager?” Pausing, your eyes found Sugawara’s. You were fairly certain that they weren’t supposed to know that yet.

“Maybe?” They all sighed in relief and it left you even more confused then you had been before.

“Good,” Daichi smiled at you, “We were going to ask you the same thing, but we didn’t was to spring it on you and scare you away.” Dumbfounded, you just stared at him. Kiyoko had mentioned that the boys liked you, but you didn’t actually think that they would want you to be their manager.

“Really?” They all nodded once again, and you bit your lip anxiously. Knowing that there were more of them that wanted you on the team as their manager was tempting you further, and you had an inkling feeling that you were going to end up giving in.

“I’m thinking about it, I really am. I just need a bit more time to consider. But it’s really nice to know that you all want me there.” You gave them all an actual, genuine smile, which they happily returned.

“Of course, we would. If the other teams knew that even our manager can pull receives like that, it’ll throw them right off.” You giggled as Daichi tried to subtly nudge Asahi to get him to stop speaking.

“You don’t have to decide right now, we just wanted you to know that we would love you to be our manager. It would be a pleasure to have you there.” Feeling a blush rise up on your cheeks at Sugawara’s words, you turned your head away as they began to snicker.

“Oh!” Turning back around, you looked at Daichi expectantly.

“Can we ask a really big favour?”

~~~

It was absolute chaos in the club room. To be honest, chaos wasn’t even the word to describe it. You weren’t sure there even was a word.

“Even a demon’s eyes can fill with…”

“…Iron clubs?” Your head tilted to where the first years had positioned themselves, finding Hinata sat next to your brother with an expression that was way too confident for what you had overheard.

“No.” Making a quick one-eighty, you reached for the clubroom door handle when Daichi gently grabbed your arm at the crook of your elbow. The look in his eyes screamed desperation and you couldn’t bring yourself to walk away. Sighing, you gave him a weak nod and let him guide you over.

Tsukishima, as you had come to know the blond boy as, looked as if he was currently grilling your bother, which he probably was, and you found this as a chance to glare at the back of his head. He was unbelievably cold, absolutely emotionless, and quite honestly, a complete and utter ass. Not even just to you, despite every word he had uttered to you thus far being either a backhanded compliment or a straight up insult. If you were anyone besides Yamaguchi, you were more or less nothing but the dirt on the sole of his shoe.

How you would absolutely love to dig the sole of your own shoe into the side of his sour little face.

“Why should Japanese people be able to understand English?” Oh, boy. This was going to be fun.

“Kageyama!” Everyone turned their attention towards Daichi, and subsequently you as you were stood right next to him. Hinata and Yamaguchi looked somewhat relieved to see you, your brother barely spared you a glance, and four-eyes was staring you down in his usually condescending way. Flashing they all a quick smile, you all focused back on the captain.

Said boy began holding up signs with his hand, presumably the ones that they use to communicate during matches, listing them off one by one as Tobio quickly named all of their purposes off the top of his head.

“How long did it take you to memorise those?” All of a sudden, you felt very uneasy about the smile currently adorning Daichi’s face.

“I think it was the day we were taught them?” Ah, yes, prove his point and dig the hole deeper.

“Then I won’t let you use, ‘I can’t memorise the words’ as an excuse.” Even you tensed slightly at his tone and came to understand exactly why he was their captain. He was so nice that it was slightly scary to see him so serious.

“I-I can’t lose to Kageyama!” Rising from his seat, the middle blocker directed his most competitive look at your brother as if he was challenging him, only to get distracted by the second years at the other end of the room.

“I’m not going to lose to them, either!” He only continued to increase in excitement as well as volume, and you had seen enough. Were you really going to tutor these idiots?

“Okay, Shouyou. Calm down.” You placed a hand on his head, ruffling his hair slightly before coming to sit in the circle of boys, placing yourself in-between Tobio and Yamaguchi.

“So, what’s the damage?” You gestured for Tsukishima to hand you the pair’s practice exams so you could briefly look them over. Taking one look at their scores, you had your mind made up.

“Absolutely not.” Tobio made a sound as if he was offended and you sighed. Pointing at the top of the paper, you held it up for him to see.

“Did you spell your own fucking name wrong?” There were the beginnings of a word scribbled out where there was a space for a name. He merely stared at you blankly and you resisted the urge to hit him over the head with his paper.

“I’m sorry, Daichi.” You looked up at him, but he wore the same expression as you, and brushed you off with a small wave as if he already knew what you were going to say. Hinata still hadn’t calmed down and you watched on in disappointment as your brother began to pick a fight with him.

“Okay…” Clearing your throat, you focused your attention on Yamaguchi and Tsukishima.

“Study session this weekend?” Since you refused to be roped into dumb and dumber’s mess, and Aihara and Sasuke lived too far away, you figured you would try to weasel your way into someone else’s group.

“We already have plans.” Despite Yamaguchi’s delighted look, clearly, Tsukishima still had an agenda against you.

“Oh, come on. The more, the merrier. Plus, I’m a year above so I know more.” He refused to even look at you and you were impressed by his stubbornness.

“Absolutely not.”

~~~

Absolutely yes.

To: yams :)

b there in 5 xo

Yamaguchi had kindly texted you Tsukishima’s address yesterday and you were currently on your way to crash their study session. He had asked you for a bit of extra help since the two of them could only do so much by themselves and of course you had accepted, but you were sure it would be well received by the blond.

Hesitantly, you knocked on the door as waited sheepishly for the owner to come and answer. He eventually did, and you were almost sure he was about to shut it in your face.

And he was.

Until you smiled at him.

“I know I’m being rude, okay? You don’t have to look at me like that.” He raised an eyebrow, a little surprised that you had known what he was thinking. Was he that transparent?

“I brought a peace offering.” You held up the tub of homemade cookies you had brought with you, hoping that it would soften him a bit and convince him to let you stay, and luckily, it did.

“Fine, but you better actually help.” The grin you gave him made it difficult to swallow any other insult he was about to throw at you, and he stepped aside to let you over the threshold before you could notice his hesitation.

“Rei!” Your favourite first year was already set up and in the middle of studying when you walked into Tsukishima’s bedroom, beaming up at you from the floor.

“Yams!” Reaching down, you patted the boy’s head and joined him in front of the low table in the middle of the room. Taking a brief glance around, you noticed that Tsukishima’s bedroom was surprisingly neat, and a lot more minimalistic than you had imagined.

Not that you spent any time imagining his bedroom, of course.

“Shiratorizawa Academy?” Glancing over at Yamaguchi, you noticed his eyes were trained on your hoodie. It was the first one that you had grabbed out of your closet this morning and you figured it wouldn’t harm anyone to wear it every so often.

“Hmm,” Answering his unspoken question, you nodded.

“It was my volleyball hoodie. It even has my number of the back.” Twisting around, you pulled up the hood, displaying ‘Kageyama, 13’ written on your back.

“You played for Shiratorizawa?” Shrugging, you brought your gaze over to the blond boy who had situated himself across the table from you.

“Don’t sound so surprised.” As per usual, you only received a scowl in reply.

“So, do you know Ushijima?” Your smile faltered slightly at the mention of the name, but you fought desperately to keep it on your face so as not to give anything away.

“He’s an old friend, yeah.” Yamaguchi was clearly impressed and seemed to have not noticed your little slip.

“Why’d you stop playing?” There it was.

“Ah, can we talk about that another day? I thought we were meant to be studying?” Yamaguchi pouted, but you distracted yourself by pulling your study materials out of your bag, placing them on the table.

“If you were so great, them why don’t we know you?” You shot Tsukishima a glare but obviously he was determined to push your buttons more than usual today.

“Yeah, Rei. We barely know anything about you.” Sighing, you ran a hand through your hair and began fiddling with the hems of your sleeves.

“I just got tired. It’s so competitive- “

“I bet you weren’t good enough, were you? You got kicked, right?” He wasn’t laughing, but that goddamn smirk he had on his face told you that he wanted to. He was mocking you completely unprovoked and you wanted nothing more than to rip that look off of his face.

“Why do you hate me so much?” It came out as more of a growl than a question, and you sensed Yamaguchi flinch as his eyes darted between you and Tsukishima. Said boy had eased his smirk, his mouth now set into a firm line, but his eyes were still dancing, taunting you.

“Fine.” You stood up abruptly when you received no answer.

“You want to know why I stopped?” Reaching down to the compression sleeve that neither of the boys had even noticed you wearing, you pulled it off, exposing your knee for them both to see.

Yamaguchi let out a soft gasp as he looked it over and you tried your best to hold back the tears as best you could.

“It was the finals. We were about to go to nationals. I was about to start my career on the all-japan national team. I had everything and it was all taken away from me. I can never play again.” You couldn’t breathe, your throat felt so tight and dry. A tear escaped your eye and ran down your cheek as you rushed out of the bedroom.

It couldn’t stay a secret forever, you knew that, but everything was hitting you all at once. It felt just like that day all over again and you couldn’t handle it, no matter how hard you tried.

The kitchen was the first room you saw when you made it downstairs and you slipped inside, hoping it was far enough away to allow you to calm yourself down a little before going back upstairs.

You lent against the counter next to the sink, white blossoming on your knuckles because of how hard you were gripping the edge. Tears dripped down onto the granite, but you couldn’t stop them as you tried to hold in your sobs. Just once, you wished you could be able to think about what happened without feeling like that, or even at least just to not choke up at the first mention of it. You had transferred schools to get a new start and yet every step reminded you of the past.

“Hey,” Flinching at the voice, you knocked off a cup sitting on the counter, the sound of broken glass ringing in your ears.

“Wait, don’t- “

“Shit!” Having crouched down to clean up the mess, you had begun picking up the larger pieces of glass, but one slipped, slicing a cut down the palm of your hand. You froze at the sight of blood, hands still shaking as you stared at it.

Suddenly, it stopped as your hands were being held in someone else’s, and they coaxed you up from where you had fallen to your knees. Guiding you across the kitchen, they brought you to sit at a dining table, them taking a seat next to you and beginning to look your hand over.

You were snapped out of it as you felt a finger brush over your cheek, gently brushing away the tears. Looking up, your eyes met with Tsukishima’s and widened. Reflexively tilting your head away, he took the hint and leaned back, moving his hand away from your face. He continued to look at you for a few seconds before carefully letting go of your injured hand and getting up from his chair.

“Stay there,” He mumbled it, but you nodded and stayed put, your eyes following him as he walked back over to the sink, avoiding the broken glass, and retrieved a first aid kit from the cabinet underneath.

“I hope you’re not left-handed.” His voice still carried a teasing tone, but it wasn’t malicious like before, he was just trying to bring some light-heartedness to the situation. He continued to send you worried glances, even as he was taking the things he needed out of the first aid kit.

“Ow!” You hissed as he applied the disinfectant to the cut without warning, and you resisted the urge to swear at him. He merely flit his eyes over to you and continued working on cleaning the wound.

You slowly relaxed and just let him bandage your hand up, meeting his eyes every so often when he looked up to keep a check on how you were faring. He didn’t need you passing out on his kitchen floor.

“I shouldn’t have pushed you like that. I’m sorry.” Taken aback at the sudden apology, you tensed as he secured the bandage around your hand.

“I won’t tell anyone. Neither will Tadashi. I’ll make sure- “ You interrupted him, which probably pissed him off, but he really deserved it right now.

“Thank you.” A smile adorned your features, and for the first time, Tsukishima’s lips upturned slightly, smiling back.

~~~

The gym was empty when you arrived, the boys busy getting changed and the coach clearly running a little late. The net was already up, and a basket of volleyballs was positioned just outside of the boundaries of the court. You found yourself wandering over, tentatively picking one up and giving it a spin in your hands.

It had been so long since you had held a volleyball like this, and you had almost forgotten how good it felt. Absentmindedly, you walked over to the back of the court, still spinning the ball.

One serve wouldn’t hurt, right?

You took your signature position; body facing sideways, the volleyball sitting atop the palm of your right hand, pointed to the other end of the court. Taking a deep breath, you calmed your racing heart as best you could, and tossed the ball high into the air.

The run up seemed almost foreign to you now, but it was exhilarating none the less, and you let your instincts take control as you neared the court. Your feet planted themselves firmly on the gym floor as you crouched low, eyes never wavering from the ball. And then, all of a sudden, you were in the air, arm reeled back ready to hit, your legs kicked up behind you.

Whatever urge had led you to this point had not prepared you for what it felt like to see the sight that had awaited you in that moment. Your body was way above the net, giving you the view of the entirety of the opposite side of the court.

No blockers, no libero; just you and the ball.

And then you hit.

It felt as if all of your strength, excitement, and anger was transferred into that one hit, and you smiled as widely as your mouth would allow when you felt the long-lost sting of the ball on your hand. It landed neatly in the back-left corner of the court, rebounding off of the floor and ending up on the balcony level of the gym somewhere.

Making sure to put your right leg down first, you landed gracefully back on the court and stared at your right hand. Red was already tainting your skin, leaving temporary evidence of how hard you had hit the ball.

After almost seven months of feeling hopeless and distraught, you had finally delivered a serve, and it felt amazing.

“Woah,” Your head snapped up to the gym door, where pretty much the majority of the team, including the coach, had crowded and were staring at you in awe. Looking them all over, your eyes landed briefly on Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, who were looking at you in both amazement and concern, until they finally landed on your brother.

He was absolutely furious. You don’t think you had ever seen him so angry in your life and the feeling of guilt began to rise up in your throat.

“Tobio- “

“What the hell were you thinking, Rei?” You looked away from him, hands balling up into fists at your sides as you felt him staring you down from where he was stood at the doors.

“It was just one- “

“It was reckless. Are you stupid?” As you turned to him in shock, he began to approach you, still fuming.

“That could have crippled you, and you know it.” His voice was considerably lower, knowing that you didn’t want anyone to find out just yet. Glaring at him, you huffed, any happiness that the serve had given you now long gone as you fought to repress your anger.

“I won’t do it again.” You rolled your eyes at him before walking off to go and retrieve the ball, leaving the team very confused at the confrontation.

“That was weird, right?” Nishinoya muttered to the rest of them, and some nodded slowly in response, still confused. They began to file into the gym and continued to look between you and your brother warily.

“Just… don’t say anything about it to either of them, okay?” Ukai knew exactly why the spat had happened, and he knew why the both of you had reacted the way you had, but now wasn’t the time to bring anything up and make things worse.

It was clearly a problem you needed to sort out between yourselves.

Despite it, practice continued to run as normally as it usually did, and you sat on the bench with Kiyoko as the team played a few practice matches.

“Are you okay?” Tilting your head slightly, you sighed as you turned to look at her.

“To be honest, not really.” She hummed, her eyes following Tobio as he took his position, ready to serve.

“He doesn’t seem like the type to get angry at you.” Shaking your head, you looked back to the game, keeping your eye on him as well.

“We both lost something that day. His finals were the same day as mine, and that was when he was abandoned by his teammates.” Her mouth formed an ‘o’ as her eyes widened in surprise.

“He feels guilty that he was able to bounce back from that straight away and he’s able to carry on playing and I can’t, so he doesn’t want to see me make it worse.” She nodded in understanding.

“I’m glad he’s here with all of you, though. He’s the happiest I’ve seen him in years. Thank you.”

The practice finally came to an end and the boys were called to gather around Takeda for an announcement. Tobio still seemed on-edge, and you held back from saying anything about what happened earlier.

“So, this is rather sudden, but Ouginshi High School requested a practice match tomorrow, and I accepted. They were very interested after seeing us at the Inter-High prelims.” A buzz of excitement spread throughout the group and you watched as your brother relaxed slightly, allowing himself to put the argument aside for now.

“Don’t forget the regret and bitterness of losing to Seijoh. However, you don’t need to hold on to the feeling of losing. Hurry up and wipe that away!” The team cheered, immediately thrilled at the prospect of playing another school again. As usual, Hinata and Noya were already back to bouncing around and you giggled as some of the other boys scowled at them.

“Actually, sensei? May I say something?” it didn’t take much for the team to calm down and focus on you as you stepped forward. The attention wasn’t unusual, but you still weren’t used to them staring at you the way that they did.

“Go ahead, Kageyama.” Glancing back at Kiyoko, she gave you a thumbs up as she beamed at you, encouraging you.

“Ah… um, I-I’ve been asked by the third years to join the team as a manager, ready for when Kiyoko leaves and I just wanted to ask if anyone objects to that? It would mean that the first years have to deal with a new manager every year but-“ You didn’t get chance to finish as the boys crowded around you and Tanaka swung his arm around your shoulders.

“Yah, Rei-chan. Why would we have a problem with that? We all love you!” They broke out into another cheer and you giggled as Hinata and Noya came bounding up to you, unable to keep still.

“You’re going to manage us, Rei-chan? That’s so cool!” Their reaction was overwhelming, and you couldn’t stop grinning. You could feel the joy begin to build up and you hoped you could stay like this forever, in a team of people that supported you as well as each other, not letting anything bring you down.

The team began packing up and putting the equipment away, leaving you to chat with the coach about a few minor things.

“I would love to have someone like you teach them a few tricks,” he started. “Is your knee healed enough for that though?” So, you were right, he had known who you were.

“Not yet. I’m trying to get cleared for minor practice but at most I’ll only be able to do a few spikes at a time and not all the time.” He nodded and smiled, clearly expecting that kind of response.

“I can help verbally, of course, and stationary receives and tosses would be perfectly fine.” You could see in his eyes that he was already brimming with ideas of how you could help them improve.

“Just take it easy, okay?” He pat your shoulder before walking off towards Takeda.

As the boys were finishing clearing up, you wandered outside for a breath of fresh air. There was a jumble of emotions running through you and you couldn’t decipher any other them. Tilting your head upwards, you gazed at the stars dotting the dark night sky and sighed.

“I don’t know if I should ask if your hand or your knee is okay first.” You jumped at the voice, turning to find Tsukishima stood a few feet away from you, already dressed, ready to leave. Holding your hand up, you showed him your left palm and smiled. It had been a shallow cut, and so had healed a lot quicker than you had anticipated it to, the only remainder being a long, angry, red line across your skin.

“Both are fine. Thank you for asking.” He tutted and looked away, mumbling something you couldn’t hear.

“Hmm?”

“Shimizu-senpai asked me to give you this.” He held out a black jacket, very obviously trying to change the subject, but you took it and unfolded it. It was one of the team’s jackets, except this one had ‘Manager’ printed across the back. You giggled as a feeling of excitement ran through you. Pulling your bag off of your shoulder, you slipped your arms into the jacket and shrugged it on.

Leaving it unzipped, you twisted your torso for a second so Tsukishima could see the back. He was suddenly reminded of just a few days ago, when you had done the same thing to show him your name on the back of your volleyball hoodie.

“How do I look?” His blush was barely visible, even as the lights positioned outside of the gym illuminated the both of you, and he really hoped you hadn’t noticed anything.

“Like your brother.” He deadpanned and you scowled up at him.

“Well, that’s not nice.” A small chuckle erupted in his chest at how childish you looked, despite attempting to intimidate him.

“It suits you.” It was serious this time, and you were slightly taken aback, expecting him to carry on teasing you like he usually did.

“That serve… It was the same as Oikawa’s,” Staring at him in disbelief, you scoffed.

“Wow. I really am out of practice if it’s the same. Has he really gotten that good?” He furrowed his eyebrows and gave you a confused look.

“It’s my serve. I taught it to Oikawa four years ago.”

“And Kageyama?” You laughed. It was funny really, how your brother knew your serve, yet it was taught to him by someone else.

“No. But that’s why his isn’t as good. No matter how much he practiced, Oikawa could never perfect the serve to be exactly the same as mine.” Tsukishima eyed you up and down as if he didn’t believe you, but you just smirked at him.

“You’ll see.” He was about to reply when the other team members began to file out of the gym. You spotted Tobio and couldn’t help but frown at the look he gave you.

“Let’s go.”

“You’re not getting changed?” He had an extremely sour look on his face as he looked between you and Tsukishima, clearly not very happy.

“No.” He began to walk off without you and you found yourself rolling your eyes at him again. He was taking the situation way out of proportion. Nevertheless, you picked up your bag and hauled it over your shoulder once again and started off to catch up with him.

“Bye, Tsukki!” You laughed as you caught the look he gave you as you glanced back over your shoulder, but when you waved to him, he waved back.

Tobio hadn’t gotten that far, and you slowed your pace as you fell into step with him.

“Four eyes? Really?” Glaring at him. You nudged his shoulder as you walked, and he nudged back.

“He has a name.” A huff.

It was silent the majority of the way home, but you felt Tobio release some of the tension and anger he held towards you and finally relaxed properly. You enjoyed the cool breeze as you walked, but it wasn’t long before you arrived outside of your house.

“I’m sorry about earlier.” He stopped as he reached the front door, turning his head to the side as he looked at you through his peripheral.

“Me too.” Entering the house, he left you outside where you stood alone for a few minutes, before you took a deep breath and stepped inside yourself.

For the first time in a very long time, you were content. There would always be that tugging in the back of your mind – the urge to play – but this as the first step to getting over what happened and getting to carry on with your life at least.

Everything felt just right.

~~~

The Rise and Fall of Kageyama Rei:

It’s no secret that Kageyama Rei was close to becoming the greatest female volleyball star of this generation, with the most versatile set of skills shown by any player in years. And yet, she just disappeared.

Find out the real story behind the Shiratorizawa ace and U-18 hopeful in this exclusive interview from our inside source, and be the first to know the truth…

taglist: @iamthepenguinwhosearseisonfire, @loreblackthorne

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