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#and actually gonna have a lot of free time from now on
jobean12-blog · 3 days
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For the Love of Plants...and You
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader (plant!dad Bucky AU)
Word Count: 1,229
Summary: You and Bucky go shopping for new plants and he has the best idea.
Author's Note: My lovely friend @sagechanoafterdark shared this wonderful little idea with me and I was so happy to have inspiration for more plant!dad Bucky! YAY! Thanks so much Sage! Thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Divider by @firefly-graphics thank you sweet Daisy! 🥰
Warnings: it's soft, sweet and fun, spicy and silly, some implied sexy times and Bucky is delish.
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*If you want to read more about plant!dad Bucky you can find his other stories on his Masterlist labeled with 'plant!dad Bucky AU'*
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“Are you sure you don’t want anything else doll?”
You look up from the current plant in front of you and stare unblinkingly for a moment before bursting into giggles.
Bucky’s arms are full of plants and his handsome face is obscured by various leaves and flowers.
You sift through the flora that hides him and find his blue eyes bright and crinkled at the corners with his wide smile.
“What?” he asks.
“It’s just…you’re so cute.”
His cheeks become tinged with a flush of pink and you lean through the leaves to place a sweet kiss to his lips.
“Thank you for carrying everything. We really need to start getting a cart.”
“Nah doll, then we’ll go home with even more plants. And you don’t have room for more plants. At least this way we are limited to what I can carry.”
“What are you saying Bucky?” you ask with feigned shock.
He’s quiet for a moment and you worry that he thinks you’re serious.
You open your mouth to speak and reassure him you were just teasing but he beats you to it and says, “I’m going to build you new shelves.”
Now it’s your turn to be quiet.
“Doll?” he asks, trying to see you from around the armfuls of plants.
“You want…you want to build me shelves for my plants?”
He finds a free space on the plant stand outside and places a few down so he can actually see you.
“Yeah. Of course. I want you to have all the plants you can fit.”
“I didn’t know you could build things.”
Your voice comes out slightly breathless.
The corner of his mouth lifts into a devious smirk.
“Sounds like you like that I can do that,” he murmurs as he slips his free arm around your waist and tucks you into his side. “I’m pretty good with my hands.”
“Mm,” you hum, laying your flat palm against his chest. “Very good actually.”
He dips his head to capture your lips, lingering with a soft kiss that has your fingers fisting in his shirt.
“Do you have a tool belt?” you ask him when he finally pulls away.
“I do.”
“You should do it shirtless. So, you don’t get too warm.”
“So shirtless with my toolbelt. Anything else?”
You tap your chin playfully.
“Your dark wash jeans. The really fitted ones.”
“Is this some secret fantasy you have?”
You bury your face in his neck and mumble something incoherent.
“What was that?” he chuckles.
“It wasn’t until you said you could build me shelves!” you squeak.
“This is gonna be fun,” he simpers as he releases you to grab the plants again. “Let’s go check out.”
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As promised, later that day Bucky shows up at your place in his dark jeans with a tool belt hanging low on his hips.
“Why are you wearing a shirt?” you ask.
He covers his laugh with a cough and grabs your waist, pulling you into his chest.
“I didn’t want to take the train shirtless.”
“Oh. Yeah.” You answer. “Right.”
He laughs. “Right.”
“I know you think this is hilarious, but you don’t understand…”
His expression softens. “What do you mean doll?”
“It means a lot to me that you’d do this, and you support my love of plants.”
“Of course I would. And of course I do. And you know I love plants too.”
“I know, but even if you didn’t I just know you’d do it anyway.”
He brushes his lips lightly across yours, holding your gaze as he whispers, “I would.”
“Can we take this off now?” you ask as your fingers slide down his chest and under the hem of his shirt.
“Sure.”
He kicks the door shut with his booted foot and lifts his arms above his head. You start to peel the shirt from his body, the action deliberate as you watch every inch of his toned stomach come into view.
After staring at the distinct V shape at his hips you focus on the dark trail of hair just under his belly button then practically let out a moan when his abs flex and move as he shimmies.
“This is like porn,” you sigh dreamily.
That makes him laugh and he gets tangled in the sleeves of his tee.
You keep staring, enjoying all the shifting muscles of his torso.
“Little help here doll face.”
“Oh!...sorry Buck!”
You slip the shirt over his head and drop it to the floor, letting your fingertips run along the smooth metal of his left arm.
“There. Perfect.”
He takes you in his arms and spins you around until your back is against the door. Trapping you in place he settles both hands on either side of your head.
“You’re distracting,” he murmurs. “Not sure I can get to work just yet.”
“Me?” you ask incredulously. “Look at you.”
Your finger slips into the waistband of his jeans, and you give him a sharp tug, drawing him closer.
His hips press into your stomach, and you feel the hard length of him. You catch your bottom lip between your teeth and toy with the button of his jeans before running your fingers along the leather of his tool belt.
The muscles in his stomach tense every time your skin touches his and you watch his dark eyelashes flutter against his cheeks with his barely controlled restraint.
His toolbelt drops to the floor with a loud thud and you pull the zipper of his jeans down.
“Doll,” he hisses when your hand slips inside his jeans.
You slide down to your knees, taking his jeans with you.
“Fuck you look so perfect on your knees for me,” he grits out.
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You stretch out along the hard wood floor and press yourself against him.
Bucky’s fingers soothingly slide up and down your arm, his eyes closed and his breathing finally even.
“You need to make me a list of all the things you want me to build,” he says.
You laugh as you twirl a strand of his hair between your fingers. “It will be the longest list ever.”
“It better be,” he says, finally opening his eyes and pinning them on you. “I’ll building anything and everything if we can start every project like that.”
You kiss his neck, working your way to his chin and then along his jaw before climbing on top of him and kissing his lips.
“Deal!”
His hands are soft as they reverently trace the curve of your hips and waist. “You know what we still have to do?” he asks.
“What?” you smile.
“Name all the new plants!”
Your smile widens. “WE DO!”
You kiss him again and reluctantly move off him so he can get up. Once you’re both dressed, Bucky sans shirt of course, he starts working on the shelves.
You hold up one of your new plants, Devil’s ivy, and twirl the pot between your fingers, gently fingering the leaves.
“What do you think Buck?” you ask. “How about…Spaghetti!”
He looks up from the wood in his hands and nods with a smile. “That’s a good one, especially for the ivy.”
As soon as he finishes the thought his stomach promptly grumbles, making you both laugh.
“I’m just going to name these last two then I’ll start dinner…how does spaghetti sound?”
“Perfect doll face. It sounds perfect.”
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haunted-xander · 1 year
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So. Fatebreaker, right? Ryne's biggest fears made manifest, daddy issues personified, yes?
He's an amalgamation of Thancred and Ran'jit, his face, his voice and his weapon is Thancred's, but his body, his fighting style and his words are Ran'jit's.
Throughout the fight Fatebreaker constantly makes comments about how only he can protect Ryne, only he can provide for her, only he has even the right to so much as stand beside her, to be in her general presence. He's possessive and obsessive, repeatedly asserting that she is HIS and his only. Which is exactly what Ran'jit says basically every time we encounter him.
But this time it's in Thancred's voice. This time it's with the voice and face of a man she actually cares about.
Ryne isn't scared of Thancred, she never has been. Even when she first met him she was barely even nervous (as clearly shown in Thancred's short story). There's a lot of different feelings happening between those two, but fear has never been one of them.
But now, after things have gotten so much better, she is scared of Thancred becoming like Ran'jit. Because if Thancred was just a little further gone, if he was just a little less compassionate, he would've. It wouldn't be hard for him to go down the same path as Ran'jit did, to be incapable of letting go of the ghost of that girl he loved so so much to the point he'd stubbornly grip anything close to her he could. He didn't, but the fact he could've is terrifying.
It makes his final words, words that are Thancred's, so very important. This is her deepest fears made manifest, but he still says he wants her to be happy. Her happiness not only matters, but is important to him.
#Now we -the audience- ofc knew Thancred was unlikely to go down that path#bc if theres one thing hes been consistent in even in his darkest moments its living up to his loved ones' wishes and legacies#the only time he even speaks against it is his conversation w minfilia in amh araeng#and thats more a case of all his (poorly) repressed grief and stress exploding than him actually meaning what he says#and trying to control rynes life after minfilia literally told him to just let her live her life goes directly against that#i think about fatebreaker a lot. as i do all things related to ryne & thancred#and to me its so important to note that hes more or less ran'jit with just enough thancred in him to be *too* thancred for comfort#its so. her greatest fear isnt even the thing thats been haunting her her whole life (being forced to fill in for minfilia)#its having her free will taken from her by the person she cares about the most (thancred)#and for him to be trapped in endless suffering because he cant move on#just like ran'jit did and was#its not even necessarily that shes all that scared of ran'jit himself#what shes scared about is caring about someone like that#because then she wont say no or try to be anyone but minfilia#(thats also why this fear appears specifically after things get better)#(because she was already ready to forsake herself if it eased thancred suffering)#okay im gonna stop now i need to sleep gnight everyone#ryne waters#thancred waters#ran'jit#final fantasy#final fantasy 14#final fantasy xiv#ff14#ffxiv#xander rambles#at this point i should make a tag for ryne ramble posts i make so many of them#tomorrow. maybe. if i remember#edit: i made it#xander being insane about ryne
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@vanweek2024 day 7 - sunrise
tomorrow is another day
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aro-in-danyl · 2 months
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Alastor as a "Gift from God" AU part 2
I'll have you know it is very difficult to write from the POV of God so you get Roo instead. I had to look up bible verses for this.
PART 1 here.
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On the day of the first extermination cleanse.
When the first sinner was slain, Roo felt the soul attempt to rise. A fruitless endeavor, for their sinful deeds in life and in death ensured her roots bound the severed pieces of the soul to her.
Foolish angels, in culling the herd and stifling even the thought of rebellion, they only made her stronger. Roo tightened her vines around the soul and attempted to drag it down, down through the 7 rings, and to her.
Attempted, because before she even got past the Pride Ring, a stronger force yanked the soul upwards. Enraged and in disbelief she tightened her hold around the other souls being slaughtered by the dozens, but each and every time they were ripped from her grasp.
At the end of the day, when the exorcists were flying up and away from the slaughter, the portal to Heaven opened and Roo latched onto the connection and demanded an explanation.
"Have you gone back on your word?" her tone was taunting but her desperation and anger festered, "These souls are mine. Their punishment is meant to be eternal!"
Roo did not expect a response, God had not spoken to her since The Beginning, and God had no foothold in hell - usually. Today, apparently, was an exception.
God spoke to her, "My creations all return unto me in The End regardless. You know I cannot bare to be separated forever."
Roo did not buy this, "What ever happened to 'Depart from me, you who are cursed' was that not written?"
"Said by a King, not I." God refuted.
"But within your holy text." Roo sniped, "You reward their sin, their rejection of you, by accepting them back with open arms?"
"If you think that is what will happen to those who reject me twice, you know me not at all." And perversely, Roo felt relieved at this admission. "The righteous will have eternal life, the sinful - upon second death - nothing."
"And keeping them from me was merely a happy coincidence?" Roo felt emboldened, God must see her as a bigger threat than she thought, "To twist the meaning of your eternal punishment to exclude me, why I'd almost call that a quality worthy of a demon."
The portal, which had only been open seconds, pulsed with the force of God's anger.
Roo laughed. "You fear me enough to risk your angels falling into my grasp once again. Do you think this latest stunt of yours will keep me weak forever?"
"My angels have learned to evade you since then."
"Careful there." Roo feigned concern, "Anymore hubris and I'll have to save you a seat in Pride. I could put you next to your favorite child, wouldn't that be nice?"
God ignored the taunt, "I know your roots grow stronger on Earth. More fall to you everyday. Faster than even my best angels can catch them."
Roo smiled at the admission. To have her work acknowledged by the being who created everything, everything that would someday be corrupted and belong wholly to her.
God continued, "It is a testament to your strength that The End may be sooner than I thought."
Roo stopped cold. Her strength came from corrupting the creations of God, but if there was nothing to corrupt...
Ah. She thought. Nothing truly is an eternal punishment.
"Unless," God hedged. "We come to an arrangement?"
Suddenly the reason for God's desire to converse with her made sense. Here she was, weakened from the loss of over a hundred damned souls, from an event that would become a yearly occurrence. Here God was, with the threat of The End poised upon their fingertips, attempting to force her compliance.
And it was working.
But God had shown their hand too early, "How utterly demonic of you! You want to compromise with me? To reason with me?" She used her roots to trip a flailing exorcist trying to remove its spear from a corpse just because, "What can you offer me?"
"I will not hasten The End before its time." God stated, as if the threat of nothing was enough now that she knew God wanted something from her that they could not get themselves.
"You do not want to destroy everything you've created; you want it even less than I do. What is it you desire?"
The last few exorcists were getting ready to return via the portal, their clothes splatted in shade of red and an abundance of gore. They had yet to develop a tolerance to the violence they were perpetuating. Roo knew, just as God did, that many of the angels after slaughtering their first few sinners, had ripped their helmet off and vomited in disgust and despair.
Roo could feel their shock, their inner turmoil, their sense of righteousness, their loyalty to heaven. With time, and more exterminations cleanses, they would learn to enjoy the bloodshed. Or they would break. Such was the way of war.
"I wish to create a gift for Lucifer," God began, "A gift that will challenge him, embolden him, and remain by his side."
Lucifer! Why did it always come back to him? Around them, the corpses of the damned littered her domain never to rise again, God's angels grappled with the weight of their heavenly duty, and her influence weakened for the first time in decades. And yet it was Lucifer that made God lower themselves to speak with her!
Roo reigned in her rage, "And what does that have to do with me?"
"I am creating something unlike anything I've ever created before." God directed her attention back to the weak angel who'd finally pulled their spear from a corpse, "Immune to angelic destruction. Stronger than a thousand sinners, with the potential to stand against my Archangels, capable of vengeance and retribution."
Roo salivated. "And you're sending it here." Roo let the last of the shattered souls in her grasp go, not even paying attention as it shot upwards and away. "You'd create such a thing and put in my hands the instrument of your demise?"
"Which is why I appear before you. You know sin more intimately than I. So I implore you to cast off a piece of yourself for this gift and I shall do the same."
"And what is this gift?" The exorcist was attempting to clean the gore from the spear and failing. "And why should I give you anymore of myself when you've already taken so much?"
"A human soul."
"You intend to create a soul destined to hell before its first sin and gift it to the being who prizes free will above all else. Do you imagine he will thank you?" Roo didn't care about Lucifer's feelings regarding this gift, she couldn't wait to see the fallout actually, but she couldn't help but point out the obvious.
"No," God said, "he will not. As for you, this soul will bring a new age upon your realm. They will be The Avenger of the worthy. And a nightmare to everyone else."
"Do not repay anyone evil for evil," Roo quoted. "Is that why you need me? You want to avoid going against your own words, so you seek to blame me instead."
She did not give God time to respond, "But you still haven't told me what I gain. What do I care for this promised 'new age' or so-called Avenger when I am still trapped?"
"And that is my bargain," God attempted to comfort one of the angels weeping over a small sinner's corpse but their touch fell short. Seems they did not have power over anything in her realm but exorcised souls, she mused.
"With a piece of us both, this soul will have a direct link to us in a way no fully mortal being has before."
Roo would've gasped if she was capable of breathing, "Speak plainly!"
"They could free you."
"What's the catch? Why would you give them this power?" She could hardly believe it. It was too good to be true.
"You have the chance to be free. But you must convince this soul to do so of their own free will, knowing fully the consequences of your freedom." Roo dismissed this, she was The Root of Sin for a reason, and this soul was destined for her realm anyway.
"You are forbidden from interfering with their life before hell. And you must find this soul yourself once they fall."
A minor setback, but the call of freedom was strong. Still, she was not so blinded by this opportunity that she wouldn't ask, "And what, do you, The Almighty God, gain from this bargain?"
"A hellborn will become your greatest adversary, they will attempt to redeem sinners and remove them from your grasp." The portal to Heaven began to close.
"And should they succeed, your chance to convince The Avenger will begin to close. And you will never know freedom."
"A time limit!" She should've known they wouldn't play fair, "How long?"
They turned her attention to the newly built Tower in the center of the Pentagram. The timer below flipped through the numbers at record speed until it hit 365. "Seven full moons after the clock strikes zero for the last time. Do we have an agreement?"
God's voice was strong as ever, but the portal was now only the size of a quarter. Roo knew manipulation and this reeked of it, how clever of God to wait until the last moment to share all the details when she had so little time to think of it.
"When in hell, you use the proper term." Roo pretended to scold them. She reached out to the fading tendrils of God and sunk her thorns in as deep into the connection as she could.
"We have a deal."
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel au#alastor gift from god au#hazbin god#hazbin roo#Sorry no alastor yet#I got caught up in the backstory#because I had to figure out a reason God would even consider doing this#I also had to figure out why God allowed Sera to keep doing the exterminations#God is very manipulative and Roo is not afraid to point it out#there's another reason God gave this specific time limit#It ensures that Roo will actively encourage the Exterminations to keep happening despite how much power she loses from it#As long as the clock never reaches zero for the last time she will have eternity to convince Alastor#A bit of yandere! God slipped in with the whole 'No one can stay away from me forever. I'll kill everyone first'#God doesn't like the pain the exterminations cause but they do like yoinking souls away from Roo#Roo: :P sweet a shattered soul to feed me-#God: YEET#Roo: My Souls!! D:<#Also Roo is not a reliable narrator#God does not like having angels kill for heaven but it's the only way to keep Roo weak#for now >:)#notice how God answers Roo without actually answering her#and plays up the connection Alastor will have to Roo and how it could free her rather than trap her further#And scurts around the fact that Alastor will have the same connection to them#don't worry though cause Roo is gonna realize that last bit eventually#Neither God or Roo want The End and that is why they both agree to this#It's a risk to them both but it's better than nothing#Sure God put in a lot of caveats but Roo if given an inch will make an apple tree and God knows that
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whattheskyknows · 3 months
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After 10 trillions years I have finally sat down and played the first Danganronpa. Gotta say I actually enjoyed it a lot more than I anticipated!
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extervus · 5 months
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OOPS forgot to take pictures for my one year anniversary on testosterone cause I went on a walk with my bf and then ate a lasagna garfield style so uhmm here have some pics from the last few months ok?
Featuring @binesetakeout as that sexy lil binch in the top left corner
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gifti3 · 6 months
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happy bday to me! 🎂🥳🎉
for this very special day i wanted to list and compare the presents and interactions i got in the mobile games ive been playing consistently lmao
under cut cause the pics are big
Time Princess A letter with 10 golden tickets, 100 stamina, and 10000 coins
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Obey Me! Nightbringer 1 UR+, UR, and SSR Joker each 3 Demon Vouchers 30 Karma Points 200 AP 30000 Grim 50 Devil Points Along with a bday video, birthday calls from the characters throughout the day and a UR guarantee for a 10 pull There's half-off on Devil Tree unlocks There's also special birthday dialogue in the Surprise Guests: -- the first Surprise Guest I did gave me 30 more Devil Points -- and you can press anywhere on the boys and get max hearts :]
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What in HELL is Bad They haven't implemented bday stuff yet so nothing (´。_。`)
Twisted Wonderland A Happy Birthday from the character you have set as your favorite card and a Tenfold Key Set (for rolls)
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and last but not least.....*drum roll* 🥁🥁🥁 Love and Deepsace! Special Happy Birthdays from each guy which include them singing happy birthday to you :3 Birthday Dialogue on the home screen Presents from each one (items you can use to decorate their desks) 500 Diamonds 5 Empyrean Wishes 1 Bottle of Wishes: SSR 1 Energy Capsule: Powerful And 2 birthday stickers
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#so whb is technically in last place but since its a newer game ill let it pass this year#so time princess is next in line for last place#its a fine gift but since they dont have any characters saying happy birthday it doesnt do much for me#nightbringer kinda surprised me!#i was expecting a call and some devil points#but this is a lot more then i expected :3c#also i go crazy for free UR+ Jokers#i was thinking of adding regular obey me but decided to skip it since i only really just log in for dailies for the most part#(and i dont even do that everyday if im not feeling it)#also theyre practically the same minus the calls (but i have the old ones that i havent listened to yet still)#twst was cute nothing too crazy#(thank you for ur presence lilia)#i liked love and deepspaces happy bdays from the characters a lot because they sang lmao 😭#also i feel very special from them saying all this nice stuff about hoping that i get what i want and that i stay healthy and stuff dwsiiws#it feels like obey me has more in character interactions BUT when i think it about it more#deepspace has the models actually hand you gifts#also the moment you have with the characters feels more personal#but tbf theres more obey me characters and you do get those calls throughout the whole day! (also they give more stuff imo)#so i cant really pick which one i liked more :d#dutp#obey me nightbringer#twisted wonderland#love and deepspace#im now 26....#oh jeez#long post#still doing the same shit i was doing in middle school uashusha (i mean playing dating games)#my personality has refined over the years tho#anyways im gonna celebrate tomorrow with my family :]#this is the end of my post tho ill probably post about the asmo phone call later
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sprinklethetangerine · 4 months
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I think this is a pretty reasonable situation to cry in, right?
#ughhhhh#you know what becausd i hate myself (not really dw) this isnt gonna be a vaguepost#if youre reading the tags buckle the fuck up#so last week and the week before were spring break for me#and the week before was jjst full of studying and exam stress to the point where i couldnt attend my archery lessons#cause all i was doing at that time was either studying or feeling like shit for not studying#but when spring break hit actually THE VERY SECOND it arrived I had to go to another city about two hours away to visjt family#and guess what? I STAYED THERE FOR ALMOST THE WHOLE ENTIRE SPRING FUCKING BREAK#so i couldnt even do most of the shit i wanted to#and even there i couldnt enjoy my time#why? because ALL I DID was study. my cousin tutors me and I was failing these 3 specific subjects#so she was helping me withtgem and she wouldnt leave me be#and when my (undiagnosed) adhd made me shit at focusing and my mind keot wantering and i kept looking away because i was understimulated#i got shouted at which was not very fun#whats worse is she did it in front of people. literally in public.#then we come back home THANKFULLY and she comes with us. because of course.#and now all my time all of it except for one or two hours of the day is just studying#the only free time i have is when she sleeps#and school. literally never in my life have i been happy to go to school and yet id rather be there than here.#but what choice do i really have#its either this or fail the exams#it gets worse. on thursday i was really tired from school. i came back and PASSED OUT#and by passed out I mean PASSED OUT#idk if it was cause it was hot outside or school just drained my energy but i could barely exist at that point#then my cousin finds me on the couch sweaty and basically dying#what does she do? she wakes me up like “alright time to study”#so yesterday i did charity work and it involved carrying a lot of heavy boxes and stuff so i naturally came back drained and tired and she#STILL WANTED ME TO STUDY so the second we got back I just slept and i was practically comatose so she coukdnt even wake me up#i slept for 11 hours and woke up to MORE STUDYING HURRAY and then at 5 i went to archery class and we got back at 8 and she WONT STOP#i just want to go home. im so tired. physically and mentally and emotionally. i just wanna go fucking home.
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hella1975 · 2 years
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im being so serious besties i am not cut out for academia
#like yes i know ive had a very uniquely shit experience in doing a degree i actively not only hate but also am BAD AT#but also i just. cannot hack it#'but hella you go mental and pessimistic every single exam period' i know that but. im right also#like the other day i said to my mum how much ive just been enjoying my job recently#and how huge a deal that is bc i HATE my hometown and ive never ever considered my time here as possibly being good#and my 20s will hopefully be a lot of travelling but in between that to save easier im gonna live at home#so i dont have to worry about rent so alas that means when im saving up for my next trip I WILL BE IN MY HOMETOWN#and as excited as i am for my twenties that is one huge downside to me but i was really cheerfully saying to my mum#that literally for the first time ever ive considered it might not be too bad bc lately i have just enjoyed my job#like i enjoy the people and the work and the lifestyle of it and while it's never gonna be ideal as a means to an end it's actually good#and instead of focussing on that she went OFF on one about how she wants me to stay in education and keep getting qualifications#and she was like 'you could do an english degree you've always wanted to do english or how about open university-'#and i was just sat there blinking at her like girl.... no#like i could FEEL myself shutting down like the terror of having to return to this environment when ive got my sight so set#on that 'one more year and im done one more year and im done' mindset like that has been the only thing getting my through#is that im halfway through the course now so im closer to the other end than i am the beginning and if i can just push through#ill be free from it for the rest of my life. so the thought of immediately returning to academia even for a subject i adore? i felt ILL#and my mum apologised the next day without me even having to say anything bc she realised she kinda bulldozed me there#but i just know whether it's the adhd or ive actually been traumatised by this econ degree#(<- and im being serious there like ik 'traumatised' is a big loaded word but idk what else to use#and this degree has done so so much damage to me like it has convinced me that i am fundamentally a stupid person#to the point i refuse to add up bills when with friends or do answer any sort of intellectual question even if i KNOW i know the answer#bc ive just gone so so long of being bad at the only subject im studying like just SURROUNDED by it and being bad at it relentlessly#and i dont think people realise how damaging it is to very simply just... feel stupid all the time. but oh my god i used to be so confident#and bright and now i wont even do basic addition in front of people)#i really truly dont think i can do this again in any capacity. like the constant exams and studying and assignments#i just cant do it. maybe i just need a year or two away from it after this degree but my goddddd rn i cant see it#yes it's exam time for me can u tell. it always makes me existential and on the verge of vomiting at any given moment#i hate it here i hate it here i hate it here i dont care about iterated deletion of strictly dominated strategies shut the fuck up#hella goes to uni
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orcelito · 1 year
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OK WAIT here's a ITNL chapter 14 section that's not really spoilers. just a sweet lil section
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after this is where it's more Spoilers. but for now. HERE U go. happy birthday vash & also Uhhhh @ ITNL readers I PROMISE i am working on the chapter. things r just hard lol
#speculation nation#itnl shit#spoilers bc of uhh. Conversation. i wanna keep the conversation a secret for now lol#not bad spoilers it's just better digested as a whole probably#ANYWAYS heres some more vash & kaite bro time. god im gonna miss kaite when we gotta say goodbye to him#but he's still here for now and he gets to watch vash tinker with his (very internally fried) arm#before and after this section is vash inspecting the damages & thinking of what he can do to try to fix it#which i do have a lot written. but im gonna be going thru it for accuracy & also keeping in mind the thing from earlier#the possibility that average operational power of his arm comes from vash himself rather than extra batteries#this is with the assumption that a (relatively) small output of electricity is not smth that would fuck with his lifespan#just a normal expenditure of energy. like moving his flesh muscles. just a constant lil stream of electricity that he gets from eating & w/#no need to dip into his life reserves for it. bc if he did that would get impractical.#idk im going to think about it more. i really dont Need to figure out how his arm works#but listen. ive built a robot before. im in polytech. i wanna think about wtf his arm actually Is#even if this is coming in the context of all the internal wires being blown & a bunch of shit straight up Melted#his arm is... very very blown... he's gonna be going one-arm for a While still lmao. oh well#i think it's a good thing to remember that he is in fact physically disabled. he can make up for it Especially in a fight#but it still will inconvenience him in a lot of ways. cool biotech arm is cool but also it's nice to remember that he Is physically disable#and so i am embracing it. he's tinkering with his arm in his free time but if he has to spend weeks (or months) w/o his prosthetic#well that's just the reality he's gotta live#anywyas. Here u go. snippet. that's a few hundred words so idk if this counts as a snippet but im calling it a snippet. Here You Go
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byanyan · 6 months
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we're down to 9 drafts left that're from before february, plus 5 which are from the last week. progress has slowed over the last couple days (for various reasons) but hoo boy, we're still working our way toward being caught up and only!! getting!!! closer!!!!!
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catgirlhell · 1 year
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update stuff
because friday is my art posting day i've literally been in a conundrum about stuff... like not every commission that comes my way is some big bitch!!! and i kinda built a brand for awhile on posting my big beautiful catgirl on fridays. im slowly working through like. doing this stuff As A Job™ (which is insanely difficult believe me) while still being aware that im on a time limit because i'll be back at school in the fall...
but im almost through my queue! i'll be starting my last wips tomorrow and then probably reopening slots early on in the week! once im through this current queue honestly i'm probably gonna. not do stuff for a week or so as i take care of other stuff (i have a completely different job in ttrpg work, believe it or not).
the next batch of commission slots will be a bit pricier than the last and there'll be fewer, but its moreso because at my current rate its just not tenable! after i open slots again towards the end of this month, i'll probably open them one last time towards the latter half of august and that'll be it for the summer. i might take one or two here and there throughout the proceeding school year, but in all actuality im probably staring down the barrel of the most stressful one i've ever had.
ty to everyone who likes to come and look at my silly little drawings!!! getting to a stage in my life where it actually seems possible to subsist off of my commissions is really heartening, and i owe it to people who reblog and retweet and buy my services ;w;
happy fat girl friday night gay people!!!! im gonna keep drawing big bitches!!!!!!!!
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raeygina-george · 1 year
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I need to do art style studies but i CAN'T
#raey spam#i wont be able to draw for like 2 weeks due to The Busy........#oughhhhh i wanna shade clothes sooooo bad right now#(normal human desire)#i also wanna work more on my omori designs#color prototype for basil is done so im literally so close (this is gonna take another 3 months bc im not putting actual time into it)#after that i gotta make refs for all of them#well I don't Have to but i would like to#then i can do a full illustration w them#and i need to do a composition study sooo bad omg#i really wanna start working on more involved art#instead of like. random headshots of characters not doing anything in specific#i also gotta do a revenge......... best not to leave it till next year but i also only have like 4 days left that im free in july.... so sad#some more details on my omori au for the no one that is interested:#actually I straight up dont have any#i should draw them fighting sweetheart...... ough....#i also need to draw like every day lately I've been feeling like my art is kind of not where it could be?#i do like my art but im conflicted ig?#idk how to explain it like. i often feel like i improve a lot between each piece but that also means that pieces from like not that long ago#are Not Good to me#idk it's like. feeling as though only a couple select pieces are worthy of any attention at all#also i have a lot of art styles i wanna study that are all wildy different so like how am I supposed to choose#well I'll just keep making art I like and whatever happens happens ig.#oh i wanna draw mari like really badly#maybe i can do a little traditional art of her as a treat.............#anyways is anyone interested in seeing some of my wip omori designs ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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terzomega · 1 year
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i only need to do the. idk beta reading process ig for the next one. if u even care
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haitanisbug · 2 years
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An one more thing bc I’m a hater tonight, I cannot stand CANNOT STAND ppl who were born in the south lived a great part of their life here and then move to a northern state. Y’all have the worst opinions, have this weird sense of superiority and ultimately you’re just dumb as fuck.
#first off… it’s like they THINK they have a free card to just shit talk everyone in southern states. as if everyone who lives in the south#is a lost cause and that we’re all unanimous. Northerners and ppl on the west coast do this all the time but it’s 10x worse when it comes#from someone who was born in the south because they just play into that rhetoric to separate themselves from those of us who still live here#Like I constantly hear ppl say say shit about how we should just cut off all the southern states because everyone is racist and uneducated#HUHHH ??? idk there are so many way to encourage progress and change and MAKE it happen here.. but instead people like to smear the ‘just#get rid of them all’ as if a lot of us here arnt victims of poor policy corrupt legislation too.. as if there arnt GOOD ppl here trying to#do good work.#and the ROMANTIZATION of everything SHITTY. dear lord#like just today I saw a tiktok where someone was saying they were jealous of their friends who got hit by the hurricane being they live in#the north now and are missing out on it???? WHAT ??!!!#people died from hurricane Ian??? I just saw today I think the total damage is up to#in the billions????? and not only will our state legislature do nothing about it .. we sent gonna receive a ton of funding from the#government either. whole fucking communities torn to shreds and this bitch is making a tiktok about how she has fear of missing out because#she didn’t go through a natural disaster?!!!!!#I am so done with ppl who move north#don’t ever come back here again with your dumb ass superiority driven opinions#bleh#tj.talks#prob delete this actually I’m just very mad
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toastsnaffler · 10 months
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my supervisor AND my manager both aren't in today so I'm just practicing shit... im boored
#ive done 2 rounds of free fatty acid titration + gonna do a round of dh spectophotometry this afternoon to mix it up...#i was meant to be working more on emc w my supervisor but cant do it without her here so. we wait#i mean its not that boring i like doing the actual work. but theres just so much waiting inbetween stages#and its not a long enough length of time to go do anything else so i just have to stand around and look busy..#yawwwn. wish i had more to do to distract me from thinking im fighting for my life defending the mental fort against le depression#tis the season innit. its weird bc on some levels im doing far better this year than i have the past few years like im managing it rly well#mainly through heavy control of how im allowing myself to talk + think abt things im trying to nip anything -ve in the bud#prevention is better than having to drag my limp cold body back out of that hole#but also at the same time. there are things im deeply dissatisfied with + cause me a lot of pain to think abt#which im having to shelve bc most of them are beyond my ability to solve. or just take time/alternative environments#and also bc ik that this time of year i dont have the mental tools or energy to dedicate towards solving anything complex#so im just. very detached from how i feel. locking that shit in the back of the freezer until spring. what can u do yknow#at least i have a job to keep me busy and make me too tired to think in the evenings. im surfing this shit fine for now#OKAY five more mins and i can take this stuff out of the incubator and go to lunch woohoo#this rambling is what HAPPENS when i dont have enough to do at work. smfh#.diaries
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