#and also im sorry about the zoo inconsistances

[marshmallowatheart]

To All The Boys I've Loved Before (Part 16)

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“Okay, what’s going on?” Logan finally asks, hands on the steering wheel and eyes on the road but he’s too well attuned with his surroundings to not notice the giggling kids in the back seat.

“Heather and Darrell are playing cupid,” Veronica remarks, chewing on a piece of liquorice as she twists around in her seat to get a look at the giggling duo.

“Cupidress,” Heather corrects. “Or well you could just go ahead and call me Aphrodite, the goddess of love.”

Logan chuckles, brows perking up, amused, “Alright, Miss Goddess of Love, who are you aiming your arrows at?”

Veronica tilts her head and informs him, “Nope, Cupid’s the one with the bow and arrow," she points directionless at him with her liquorice as he drives. "Aphrodite has a magic girdle.”

His lips curves, remarking, “Chill out Athena, I was talking to Aphrodite here.”

Veronica rolls her eyes, munching away, trying to focus herself on the scenery outside instead of the boy next to her. “Sure, Poseidon, get back to your mixed up mythical references.”

“Sheesh, someone’s testy this morning.”

“Not all of us can sleep through the car ride like Wallace here," she jerks her thumb in the direction of the back seat where Wallace is leaning his head against the window, snoozing away until they reach the zoo. "And I didn't get enough sleep last night."

"Thoughts of me?" He quips, batting his lashes. "Hey, I get it. Sometimes I’m up all night, just thinkin’ about myself.”

She resists the urge to smack his shoulder since he's driving and settles for making him regret his unwanted snark. "Actually I was baking a chocolate cake for us to have for dessert but guess who just cost himself a slice?"

Logan groans, he wants to look at her with pleading eyes but he doesn't want to take his eyes off the road for too many seconds. "C'mon, Veronica, don't I get credit for driving us all there?"

"Nope, you wanted to drive," she mercilessly points out.

"Heather asked me to drive," he retaliates. "Who am I to deny the kid her wish?"

Veronica sneers at the reminder. "I drive perfectly fine, thank you very much and if she had a such a problem she could have rode with Dad and Mrs Fennel."

"No!" Heather objects, almost leaping out of her seat to defend her choices but thankfully has on her seatbelt holding her down. "The whole point is that Dad and Alicia can have some alone time!"

"Oh," Logan lets out, comprehending who her two victims of love were.

"And she said you drive like you're in a NASCAR game," Darrell points out and Heather objects with a loud hey for the treachery. He shrugs, "That's what you get for sticking me with the middle seat."

"Urg!" Veronica huffs. "That happened once! And I thought we were being followed by the E-String Strangler. And maybe you shouldn't get any cake either."

"Who wants a piece of the leaning tower of Pisa anyway?" Heather snarks. "Besides we want ice cream for dessert, not cake."

Veronica lets out a long psshhttt sound and grumbles, "It goes down your throat the same either way."

--vm--

“We’re getting on the bus!” Keith eagerly says, map in hand, ready to go.

“Dad, no," Veronica whines, she's hungry and hot and wants to just sit and eat something - anything - before they start their journey from one end of the zoo to the other.

“It’s only half an hour Veronica. Half the zoo, half an hour," he emphasises like it's a bargain they can't possibly pass up on.

"I've got snacks," Alicia interjects and Veronica's eyes are drawn to the overly big beach bag that Alicia's carrying. "You can have some to tide you over until we can eat," she offers with a smile and Veronica eagerly accepts, looking at her best friend's mother like she's a savour sent from above.

"Sandwiches are life savers," Veronica hums happily, settling on the upper level of the double decker bus with Logan next to her. She admits, it is easier to take the bus but hunger takes precedence over everything else and Veronica's never been more grateful for Mrs Fennel.

Logan chuckles, nodding his head and stares at her adoringly. Yesterday while surfing he'd come to many revelations; one being that he's gonna show Veronica just how real they are. He's come to understand her a lot in their short time together and knows he can't lay out his feelings to her just yet.

She'd been firm in the fact that she doesn't want to date him and doesn't like him but he feels like that's changed - they've changed - in the sense that she does care about him, has fun with him, can be honest with him and maybe all these feelings were always there buried underneath the spells of her letter. And now he's opened the letter - broken the spell - he's seen her bared feelings and he wants to open her heart and see what's in there now.

She's been hurt, she has trust issues and she'd rather leave before she's left. She has all these pre-determined notions in her head and he's hoping he can deconstruct each one and in time she'll come to see him as he sees her.

So he's doing his best, showing her he likes her, showing her she can trust him and showing her that he's there - that he's going to be there. And he can see that she's doing the same even if she doesn't realize it yet.

“Ronica," Heather says, bright eyed as she turns from her seat in front of them. "Make sure to take out some good koala-ty pictures,” she giggles and nudges Darrell, who's looking excitedly at said Koalas and giggles along with her.

“Don’t worry, she’s got the koalafications,” Logan winks, instantly joining in before Veronica can make a snarky remark.

"And if she's underkoalafied, we just have to bear with it," Darrell outright laughs along with Heather, the two thoroughly enjoying themselves the moment they stepped out of their houses.

"So glad I could be of amoosement to you," Veronica remarks, straight-faced and seemingly exasperated. The kids giggle wildly and Logan chuckles, happy that she's not really upset and Veronica obligingly snaps shots of the Koalas hugging the trees and eating leaves.

"Guess what," Wallace leans forward in his seat, his head popping between Logan and Veronica, startling the couple.

"You've finally found where they're stashing the unicorns?" Veronica pipes, hope springing in her eyes.

"It's better than unicorns, Vee," he grins widely, suddenly full of energy unlike his earlier slumberly state.

"Damn, man," Logan chuckles. "You've got it bad."

"You would know," Wallace reproaches, nudging Logan with his shoulder from the back.

Logan peaks at Veronica and she shakes off his look. "Is this about Georgia?" She asks, brow arches, already knowing the answer.

He bobs his head. "She said she can meet me at the zoo. Isn't that great?"

"Ronica," Heather calls out once again. "Look," she says, pointing to an Orangutan swinging on the tree. "It's you!" She bursts out in giggles.

Veronica huffs. "Oh and look at that, you're right there next to me," she sticks out her tongue, unwilling to be defeated by her little sister.

"Who's the eleven year old, again?" Wallace chuckles, shaking his head.

"I'm eleven and a half," Heather points out, firm in the fact that she's not merely eleven anymore.

“Oh, hey, Heather, look it’s you,” Veronica smirks, gesturing to the Tasmanian Devil, a cheeky smug look on her face while Heather gasps.

“I happen to think it’s adorable,” Logan winks, earning Veronica a playfully triumph tongue out from Heather.

--vm--

Heather obsesses over getting a picture with everything. And more so, she obsesses over getting Logan and Veronica to take coupley pictures together whenever she sees coupley things. Like if two animals are being cute together or if there's statues that seem romantic - not that there are many - except maybe for this one particular statue. It's a statue of a sailor, dipping a nurse and kissing her full on the mouth.

Veronica hasn't denied her sister much but this is one of the things she simply cannot do and Heather whines, "C'mon, Ronica, it'll be so romantic! I mean you dragged Logan to the zoo and you can't even give him one kiss?"

Veronica gaps at her little sister. "You dragged Logan to the zoo and I'm not gonna kiss Logan like that here with dad right there! I'm not insane."

Heather concedes the point but she's not happy with it. "Urg, fine, but I still want a picture of you two with the statue. I need proof to send Meg that you actually have a boyfriend."

Veronica sighs, she's been meaning to tell Meg about Logan's new role in her life and now that everyone but Meg knows, she really doesn't have much of a choice.

She's standing next to Logan, their fingers laced with a camera ready smile in front of the statue as Heather snaps a picture and shakes her head, asking them to try another pose.

It takes three more tries before Heather is satisfied with one where they're gazing into each others eyes.

She leaves them be and turns to her father, begging him to let her take one out with him and Alicia.

Keith chokes back a cough while Alicia chuckles, accepting the request. Veronica's just glad that Heather didn't demand they kiss in front of the statue like she'd done with her and Logan.

--vm--

“I am a koalafied match-maker,” Heather brags, puffing out her chest and twirling around like the power of love has given her unreserved energy even though it's the end of the day and everyone else is exhausted.

“Oh, are you now?” Veronica arches her brow, she's holding Logan's hand and they're walking up a nearby park to set up a nice evening picnic. Alicia has prepared a variety of food and kept it in a warmer in the car along with a cooler filled with water and soda. They also have Veronica's homemade chocolate cake for dessert that Veronica's been coaxed into sharing with Logan. And Logan has somewhat been coaxed into getting ice cream for the two kids - three kids including Veronica.

"Mmmhmm," Heather hums, she's smiling wide, proud and again she's got that 'I know something you don't know' look on her face. "Just look at you and Logan.”

Veronica's hand tightens it's hold on Logan's. “Me and Logan?”

Heather notices the look on her sister's face and freezes, decidingly changing her mind from saying anything more because one, Veronica looks stricken and two, she doesn't know if Logan's supposed to know what she knows.

Veronica stares at her little sister, she's got a feeling that she needs to know what Heather knows so she lets go of Logan's hand and dashes after the now running girl. She feels an adrenaline rush hit her because it all makes sense if what she thinks is true, she just doesn't know why her sister would do that to her.

"Heather, get back here," she calls out, she's the star of the soccer team and she's beaten Heather many a times at racing so it's only a matter of time until she catches her.

Logan stays rooted in his spot, deep confusion spreading over his face as he watches the girls get further and further away, everyone else is setting up for their evening picnic and he wonders if he should leave them to it or catch up. The moment Veronica had tightened her grip on his hand, he'd felt the tension right to her fingertips.

Heather is hiding behind a tree, darting back and forth so Veronica can't grab her. "Okay, I was the one that sent out the letters," she admits, hoping her honesty gets her some mercy points with her sister.

“I’m gonna kill you, you little brat," Veronica lunges across and Heather darts away as quick as her small body allows.

“Oh, come on, Ronica, Logan’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you," Heather makes her plea. She can see the difference in sister's life; everyone in Veronica's life let her live in her comfort zone and Logan brought her out of it in a way that didn't seem all that uncomfortable and Heather figures that's a rare thing to have.

“Veronica," Logan calls out, jogging to the girls.

“You didn’t have to send out all five!" Veronica says as she thinks of how messed up everything has gotten with Duncan and how she's now keeping secrets from Meg.

Heather pouts, puppy eyes are out and her head tilts, just like she'd learned from Veronica and she slightly shrugs, “I thought five chances at a boyfriend were better odds.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Logan holds Veronica steady before she could once again dart to her sister and Heather quickly runs behind Logan. “What’s going on?”

“Veronica’s being totally irrational," Heather says, her adrenaline rush catching up to her.

“I’ll show you irrational," Veronica grunts, trying to move away from Logan but he wraps his arms around her and holds her tight against him with a soft but firm, hey - a hey that's reminding her that she's going attack mode on her eleven year old sister.

“She sent out the letters," she tells him, her anger slowly subsiding.

“Oh," he lets out a breath and loosens his hold on he see her face. "Well, you can forgive her since it worked out, right?” He gives her a pointed look.

“I just wanted you to be happy, Veronica," Heather softly admits.

Veronica sighs. “I wasn’t unhappy.”

“But you’re happier with Logan, right?” Heather peaks, still slightly behind Logan but now can visibly see her sister's facial reaction.

“Right," Veronica pats Heather's hair, softly, letting her know that she's forgiven. "But you owe me one."

Logan leans down to Heather when Veronica starts to to walk away, "Hey, kiddo, I owe you one," he winks and Heather brightens, all regret officially thrown out the window.

"You better not hurt her, Lo," Heather warns. "Especially not since you've got the Mars seal of approval."

He chuckles, rubs a hand over her head like Veronica had done. "I don't intend to," he softly says. "Thank you, Heather."

She bobs her head, smiles widely and drags him along to the picnic; she's glad she invited him.

[uncultureddirt]

I Let You Decide - Park Jisung

~REQUESTED~

“I wish I never did it. I swear”

‘You can’t let someone else determine your worth.’

You are you for a reason. You were placed on this planet with a purpose. Often times, as humans, we fail to understand the following concept: we are worth it. We tend to let others take the lead on determining our value; we allow them to decide who we are. We are never fully able to see how extraordinary we are. So we believe the words we hear. We fall victim to the critics, the assholes, and the liars. We let them tell us who we are. And we wait for them to announce that we are worth it.

~

Your bed had been decorated in papers, books, and pens. You resided in the middle of the chaos, wearily hunched over a textbook. To paint a picture, the scenery was dark around you, every aspect of it. The outside world was swallowed in night, too shadowed for the glow of stars, and too gloomy to keep you awake. You always found yourself in the same scenario, and every day began to feel like a loop.

‘You should have started this last week y/n,’ you thought to yourself as you wildly flipped through your textbook. The words on the page seemed to swirl and throw themselves at you. Each letter was visible, yet they refused to form cohesive sentences. Your English paper was due the next day and up until this point, you had not even begun to select a passage to base your paper off of. With the amount of energy you had left, nothing was making sense anymore. It felt like nothing was successfully able to hold your attention for more than a minute. Your mind was wandering and your eyelids were sinking, suddenly pushing you into a place away from crumpled papers and complex words.

Beep

Your body jolted, forcing your eyes open and pulling you out of your zombified state. You rubbed your eyes, lazily scanning your bed for the source of the noise. You tilted your head when your eyes met the glow of a screen. Your phone. Who could possibly be texting you at this hour?

Unknown: ‘Hey’

The number wasn’t in your contacts. You instantly began racking your brain, trying to guess who you might have given your number to. Right as you decided you were going to respond, they sent another message that almost made you jump at the sight of it.

Unknown: ‘You know I think you’re really cute’

“You know I think you’re really cute? Huh?” You read the words aloud, in utter disbelief. “Who the hell is this?” you mumbled while staring at the keyboard. You had to respond and began to quickly type, your fingers dancing across the keyboard. You had to know who this was.

‘im sorry, who is this?’

Unknown: ‘You don’t know? Maybe it’s better we keep it this way’

Unknown: ‘I just wanted to talk to you, beautiful ;)’

“What?” you whispered, staring at the messages that caught your attention in the middle of the night. The compliments were compelling. No one has ever said these things directly to you before. You moved your eyes from the phone screen to the mirror on the wall across from your bed.

The light in your room was dim, but was just enough to illuminate your features for you to see. You studied your face and then dropped your eyes back to a new message.

Unknown: ‘I could look at you all day long’

You laughed quietly to yourself. A large part of you was confused and honestly, almost annoyed. The remaining amount of attention you so desperately needed was pulled entirely from your essay to a mystery author text conversation. How childish… but you did want to know who was behind it. It was in your rights to know, right? Though slowly, your concern seemed to dissipate as you found yourself slightly blushing. A faint wave of confidence had overtaken you. You placed a hand to your face, warm from the blood rushing to your face, and softly smiled, lost in wonder.

-

You never found out who it was that night, and though you told yourself it wasn’t that important, the question endlessly circled your mind the next day. Due to your newfound confidence from the messages, you found yourself feeling slightly renewed. You walked through the halls of your school looking at everyone slightly differently than you had before. Everyone became a potential candidate for being your secret admirer.

‘Maybe it’s him? No, that wouldn’t make sense.’

‘Oh, wait may- nope, probably not him either.’

While you were consciously assessing others differently, you couldn’t help but feel like people were doing the same to you. Concluding you were likely just being paranoid, you scrapped the idea and placed your focus elsewhere. The most important thing was solely planning for an excuse to give your English teacher about why the only thing completed in your essay is your header. The question about who was texting you last night? That could be put on hold for a few hours.

-

You sat alone at your lunch table. You hated waiting for your friends to come back from the ordering food. Sitting by yourself always make you feel so vulnerable, like everyone was looking only at you. But what was the alternative? The lunch ladies had a habit of yelling at people who were in line without getting anything. You buried your face into your phone hoping to avoid any attention from being drawn to your lonely presence and also to distract yourself from the thought of it. You were beginning to flip through the messages that were sent to you last night when you were interrupted by a low voice.

“Uh, hey.”

You looked up, immediately turning off your phone.

‘When had he gotten there? I didn’t even notice him sit down.’

“Hi Jisung?” You spoke it more like a question more than a greeting. You knew Jisung. He was in a couple of your classes, but you two weren’t exactly friends. He always had a slight awkwardness to him. Though he was friends with some of the loudest and rudest boys, he failed to share some of the qualities they did.  

He was sitting across from you, but struggled to make eye contact. With one final glance at the table, he looked up to your face and continued, “Hi um did you get my texts last night?”

‘No way. There is absolutely no way.’

A siren went off in your mind as you fumbled through reasons on how this could be possible. He barely knew you, how could he say any of the things he said?

“Oh. So that was you. I did, actually. Well, thank you it was real-”

“Yeah uh, well I wanted to know if you wanted to go out with me maybe after school today?” He sounded rushed and robotic, almost like reading lines from a script. It felt unnatural and wrong, but you didn’t notice it then. You felt caught up in what the words were that left his mouth, not how they left.

You had never been asked out before. You always found yourself steering away from ‘relationships’ and always took on the role of the ‘good friend.’ This was new to you, and you weren’t opposed. The siren going off within you was blaring, and you wondered if Jisung could hear it.

“Sure.” As the words left your mouth you observed him wince slightly to himself. The action was minimal enough to go unnoticed, so when a smile covered his as he looked at you, you thought you might have imagined it. He was cute, he really was. You noticed the way his eyes lit up along with his whole face, you liked that.

“Cool, I’ll see you later.”

Jisung then walked back to his table with his head low. The boys erupted into laughter as he sat down in his seat, one slapping him roughly on the back. The table was zoo-like, the boys teasing Jisung throughout the rest of the period, occasionally throwing a look in your direction.

You directed your view back to your phone and sifted through the messages once again. Putting a face to your ‘admirer’ was strange, but it satisfied your burning night-long curiosity. You were fueled by a new high and were so focused on how good you felt that you forgot to think logically. The question of ‘why?’ started to lose importance. You had your suspicions about the sudden turn of events, no doubt, but you were going on a date with Park Jisung. ‘Why?’ didn’t matter.

-

He planned to meet you at a popular restaurant that you’ve been to a couple of times before. And thankfully, that meant that you wouldn’t have to take a while to figure out what you’d like to eat. It was set for six o’clock, which wasn’t the smartest idea, but you weren’t going to object. The place got extremely crowded during the evening hours of the day. It was always filled with hungry students, busy moms, and sharply dressed people in blazers who were just getting out of work. The crowd was diverse, but they all shared one similar feeling, hunger.

Your emotions felt inconsistent throughout the rest of the day. One moment you were basking in excitement, and the next you were falling into a pile of worries and anxieties about the date. It was all you could think about, your mind was clouded.

You sat in front of your bedroom mirror that evening, your hand shaking slightly while glazing your lashes with a, hopefully, even coat of mascara. You knew it wasn’t a formal event, you knew it was ‘no big deal,’ but regardless, you wanted to look nice. As you watched yourself, the sweet words from Jisung poured into your mind. You found yourself smiling, not only outwardly, but every part of your body felt like it was smiling as well.

-

You pulled up to the shop a few minutes late. As you made your way down the sidewalk, you could feel the blood rushing to your ears and face. Nerves. They always found you in situations like this. You always seemed to be slipping into your own thoughts and your excitement was slowly melting into worry. Though you decided it walk going to be ok. He wanted you there. He asked you. As you pushed open the door to the restaurant you calmed down a bit.

‘You’ve already made it this far.’

Once you were in, your eyes immediately scanned the place.

‘Where is he?’

You made your way further in, finding an empty table to sit at. Before sitting down you surveyed the place one last time, searching for his smiling eyes. You didn’t see them anywhere.

‘He’s probably running late, I mean, I’ve done that countless times before. It happens to everyone.’

Furrowing your brows, you plopped down into the seat you had chosen. You flipped through your phone for a couple of minutes, constantly glancing at the time.

[6:10 P.M.]

You looked up from your phone at the noise of the door opening. You felt your heart in your throat, thinking maybe it was him. Just as it began to rise, you felt it plummet to the depths of your stomach. It was a couple. You sighed heavily, resting your chin onto your hand. The table you chose faced the window, allowing you to view the street. You found yourself absorbed in watching the cars passing by. You were being stood up, right? You had to be getting stood up.

‘Don’t think that. Not yet, at least.’

You shook yourself out of your trance and looked back at your phone. If you didn’t distract yourself, there was no doubt you’d overthink this.

[6:35 P.M.]

You began tapping the table with your fingers and letting your ears fill with the noise of conversation that wasn’t yours. The seat in front of you remained unoccupied as you stared at it, realizing something to only sadden you further. Every other table for two was filled. Whether family, friends, business acquaintances, or couples, everyone had someone. Somehow, on that specific night, the rest of the world had company. It felt like the universe was mocking you. You let your eyes fall back upon the empty seat. Maybe you were the only one alone that night, but not by choice.

‘He’s not coming.’

You knew that, but you so desperately wanted to be wrong. You wanted to see him come in and tell you that something terrible had happened and there was no possible way he was going to make it on time. That his phone was smashed and he couldn’t even tell you why he was going to be late to begin with. You just wanted validation that someone finally appreciated you and confirmation that whatever the reason for him not showing up was, you weren’t the issue.

With that, you pulled out your phone for the last time.

[7:50 P.M.]

“You know, why am I even waiting anymore?” you mumbled, hastily throwing a tip down for being allowed to stay that long without ordering anything, standing up, and walking out the door. You wanted to hear that someone was coming. You wanted to see that someone actually cared, even if it wasn’t Jisung.

But you didn’t see anything once you were outside. The air that met you was cold and dark. The world became unwelcoming, as if it didn’t want you. As if no one did.

Your face burned with embarrassment and stung with tears.

‘Am I really that pathetic?’

-

“Yeah uh, well I wanted to know if you wanted to go out with me maybe after school today?”

“No. Why didn’t you say no?” you spoke aloud to yourself as you lay face up on your bed. You thought back to lunch, being reminded of the laughing coming from his table. There was only answer that made sense. It was a joke, and you had fallen for it.

You wanted to move on. Reminding yourself that no one had to know you ever went. Convincing yourself that whatever happened tonight was his fault, not yours. Telling yourself that none of this is even going to matter after a while. And deep down, you probably believed those things.

But you couldn’t fight the fact that at that moment, it still really hurt your pride.

‘Why did he choose me to fool? Do I look easy or weak? Is it because I seem desperate? How many people know about this? Am I being laughed at? Was any of this genuine? Is this what the world thinks of me?’

You were lost in your thoughts and drowning in embarrassment.

‘He didn’t even show up. How could he not show up? I’d rather he’d shown up and tell me there that it was all a big insensitive prank than to leave me like this. At least I would have answers.’

Your vision began to cloud as it quickly welled up with a fresh set of tears. As you let your eyes close you could feel the tears stream down the sides of your face. You weren’t audibly crying, but maybe your body needed to cry, whether you felt like it or not.

Your thoughts were fuzzy and blurry as you drifted off to sleep that night. And strangely enough, there was only one thing managed to remain clear.

An empty black seat.

-

It’s funny how our minds work. They make us think things, and feel things that no longer exist, or perhaps never existed in the first place.

You fell victim to the unconscious workings of your mind that very night. It occurred when you suddenly decided that everyone thought of you like some big joke. Though the evidence was remarkably slim, as only one event transpired which supported your thesis, you couldn’t void the idea.

And come morning, you had subconsciously clutched to those feelings while you slept. Once at school, it felt as if everyone around you knew what happened, like there was a sign taped to your back that read ‘I was stood up.’ A few times you turned around to check if people were staring at, but no one ever was, of course they weren’t. There was no sign on your back.

You stared at your feet as you walked, noticing a stain of mud on your white shoes. You were searching your brain for when you could have possibly been walking in mud when you felt someone bump into you.

“Oh I’m sor-” you quickly stopped your sentence. You failed to piece together the rest of your sentence as Jisung rushed past you, his vision desperately aimed away from your face.

‘So now he’s coward?’

You dropped your head again, forcing down your heart which had made it way to your throat at the sight of his face. But within seconds of your social silence, a deep voice broke through the noisy hallway.

“Hey y/n!” You turned around. “Enjoy your date night?”

It was one of Jisungs friends, one of the loud ones. He smiled and began to walk next to you.

“Sorry?”

He rolled eyes, “It was a dare y/n.”

‘Of course it was a dare.’

You expected it by now, sure, but hearing him confirm your thoughts still pierced you. Each word felt like a slap across the face. You didn’t want him to know you felt that. So what you said next was a lie, a complete lie.

“I knew that from the start.” Your mouth drew a straight line as you forced composure and before he could see you break, you quickly walked away. The boy was confused for a moment, but he then called after you with a lucky guess.

“Oh come on, don’t tell me you actually went!”

You wished you could say you didn’t, but that would have been your second lie.

-

You pushed your way into the bathroom, thankful to find it empty. You placed yourself in front of the last sink and looked up.  

The mirror was cracked in the corner and slightly foggy, but it still served its purpose. You then found yourself staring in the eyes of someone. Someone who looked sad and you wondered, why? Most people would probably be able to brush this off, right? Why was she unable to. Maybe it was because she had actually liked Jisung and before she could even take her chance, it became clear he didn’t feel the same. You began to then wonder why he didn’t.

You searched your face and body, noting every flaw. They seemed to jump out at you as if they had been circled with a marker. Maybe you were just a joke.

You stood before that mirror as you had done last night. From them until that moment, you looked the same and you were the same, aside from one change. How you felt. How you felt was not determined by yourself. No, how you felt now was a result of how he made you feel.

Isn’t it remarkable, what our minds can do? The way they can distort things? Your image became an ink blot, its appearance determined not by facts but by feelings. How? How can others become so powerful to us that we let them determine what we view?

You took your eyes away from the mirror and pressed your face into your hands.

Your eyes are useless when the mind is blind.  

-

You decided to get away from the crowd during lunch and put your focus into your essay. You had never finished it, but your teacher decided she would let you submit it late for at least half credit. Placing yourself at a table in the corner of the library, you began working.

A joke.

You could almost see all of the boys laughing at you as you wrote. But you ignored it and pushed on, letting your pen drag quickly across the lines. You lost track of time as you let all your energy flow into your work. You felt closed off from the world as you sat there, in your own space.

Until your space was invaded.

“I didn’t want to do it.”

You looked up, only to meet eyes with him. With Jisung. You wondered what compelled him to sit there. To remove himself from his friends and come find you. You wondered. Though through questioning, a sudden thought fell upon you. He was there, before you, filling the space.

The empty seat was no longer vacant, but rather occupied by him.

“I’m sorry y/n.”

~

a/n: I truly would like to apologize for taking so long to publish this work. Thank you for being so kind and supportive during this time, it means a lot. My sole purpose for beginning this blog was to further engage my love for writing and also to entertain my audience. I want you all to feel everything from happiness, sadness, love, and everything in between during these fics. I hope I share some good stories and messages with you all. I will be fully running this blog and taking requests again after May 13. After that time I will be done with most of my hard classes and AP exams. Thank you all for being so amazing I love you all and I hope you enjoyed this :)

[otakufander]

Snow days and fireplaces

Summary: Deceit is cold. Some backstory. Cold Virgil. And cuddles. I'm really trash at summaries so you'll just have to take my word for it, this is pretty sweet. Deceit is called Dimitri in this.

Pairing: Romantic DLAMP

Warnings: snakes

Notes: This was supposed to be out for Christmas but since I procrastinate like a pro it wasn't. I really didn't have a plan for this but I'm happy with how it turned out :). Hope you enjoy. Constructive criticism always welcome. Please point out mistakes and inconsistencies. I didn't look over this before I posted it. And I went many days in between writing.

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It was a cold cold day. The snow was falling heavily. It was already a foot deep and wasn't stopping anytime soon.

Dimitri was laying in his bed covered by blankets. The heating wasn't working and he's just to scared to light a fire in the fireplace.

He swears that he was a snake in his past life due to him not fairing well in the cold and his high capacity for lying. That was until he met the others.

He had met his boyfriends purely by chance. He is a snake milker and zoologist. He worked at the local zoo at the time. His old boss called him a snake whisperer because he seemed to just have a way with serpents.

~

He was doing a show with snakes when a strange group walked into the room where he was doing the show. They didn't look like the type to hang out at all. They all looked to be in their mid to late twenties. They were all attractive in their own way.

The first to enter was a short slightly chubby man with glasses and wearing a blue polo with a cat hoodie tied around his shoulders. His hair was a light brown curly mess. He had freckles dusted all around his face and a smile to light even the darkest spaces.

The second man to enter was slightly taller than the first. He was very skinny and pale. He was wearing dark makeup, a purple patchwork hoodie and ripped black skinny jeans. His hair was straight Raven black with purple ends hanging in his face a bit. He had an intimidating air about him.

The third man to enter was the tallest. He had a regal air about him, a bit like a prince. He had dark brown hair styled a bit like a jock from a football movie. He was wearing a red bomber jacket, a white t-shirt and Levi's.

The final man was just shorter than the tallest. He had short black hair, it was slicked back off his forehead. He also had glasses, they were the same frames as the first man. He was wearing a black polo shirt and a blue striped tie. He had a professional air about him.

Dimitri was immediately captivated by them. He did his usual show and ended with milking a snake. There was a small problem when he went to get the snake to milk. The snake was gone. He told everyone in the audience not to panic and to look around their feet slowly as a venomous snake was currently loose.

He spotted the snake looking at the curly haired man who looked terrified starring down at it. He told the man to stay calm and not to move. Just as the snake went to bite he caught it's head and put it back in the box. He then ended the show and told the man to hang back while everyone was pouring out.

The group stayed back. He absolutely ripped into his assistant who was in charge of the cages for allowing a snake to escape and fired him on the spot. He apologized profusely to the man and the group for putting them in danger.

“It's alright it wasn't your fault kiddo.” The short man said. “I still feel terrible that you were put in danger. It seems that we’ll have to be more vigilant about the show and who we let watch the cages.” Dimitri said. “It's alright you saved me and that's really all that matters right?” The short man said flashing his bright smile. “I'm Patton by the way. Patton Valentine.” He said holding out his hand to shake. “I'm Dimitri.” He said taking Patton's hand.

The professional looking one stepped forward and stuck out his hand as well. “My name is Logan. Logan Crofter. Thank you very much for saving Patton.” He said. “No problem, but it shouldn't have been necessary.” Dimitri said taking his hand as well.

The princely man then also stepped forward. “Regardless, you saved our Pattoncake. We cannot thank you enough for that. My name is Roman. Roman Prince.” He said. “It's fine.” Dimitri said taking his hand as well.

The final man stepped forward. He seemed really familiar to Dimitri for some reason. He didn't put his hand out. “Yea thank you for saving him. I'm Virgil. Virgil Shea.” He said. “No problem. Wait a minute, Virgil Shea, that sounds really familiar to me.” Dimitri said. “Wait a minute. DIMITRI! Dimitri Sanders!?” Virgil said looking shocked. “Yes. Virgil I haven't seen you in years.” Dimitri said equally shocked.

“Wait you know one another?” Logan asked confused. “Yes we do. It's just been a long time.” Virgil said like it wasn't a happy memory. “We used to be best friends in high school. But something happened” Dimitri said at their stunned faces. “Well now you must tell us Storm Cloud. What happened between you two?” Roman asked boisterously.

“My boyfriend at the time kissed him. And I was so in love that I didn't believe him when he said that my boyfriend was lying” Virgil said. “Wait how did you figure out that he was lying, what made you finally believe it?” Dimitri asked accusingly. “Im so sorry Dee. He told me when he dumped me. I wanted to reach out to you so badly. But I couldn't. You moved away before I could and I deleted your phone number so I couldn't contact you. I felt so bad about it for years.” Virgil was rambling now, how breath was shortening. Dimitri knew that he was working himself up so he decided to cut him off with a hug. It was so unlike him but he had to do something.

Virgil stopped shocked. “It's alright Virgil I'm not angry anymore. I haven't thought about it in years. It's alright.” Dimitri said pulling away.

They finally made nice, after years they finally reunited. They talked for a while after that. Dee learned that they were all in a polyamorous relationship. He was surprised at first but it's not to weird anymore.

They all started hanging out together for a while. Dimitri learned that Logan is an astronomy professor, Roman is a small time actor, Patton owns a daycare, and Virgil fulfilled his childhood dream and opened a tattoo parlor.

They confessed to Dee that they all had a crush on him after a few months. Dee had developed a crush on all of them as well so the feelings were immediately reciprocated.

That leads us back to the present day.

~

He was just laying there lost in memories when he heard one of his boyfriends return. He heard Patton say “why is it so cold in here” and he heard him taking off his snow gear.

Patton then called out “Is anyone home?”. Dee called back “Back here” He called from the bedroom. He heard Patton walking back and snuggled deeper into the blankets.

“Hey there Dee.” “Hi Pat.” “Why is it so cold in here kiddo?” “The heating won't work.” “Why didn't you just light a fire?” “...” “Are you scared of fire?” “How’d you guess.”

He let out a surprised squeak as Patton picked him up, blankets and all, bridal style. Pat may be short but he is surprisingly strong. He carried Dee to the couch and started lighting a fire in the fireplace.

As Pat was lighting the fire Dee ordered some food from the nearest pizza place. After he finished ordering Roman came home.

“Hello my dears, Padre, Snek how are you both doing this fine afternoon?” Roman asked walking over and kissing them both. “Pretty good today kiddo.” Patton said happily. “Cold.” Dee said. “Well we can't have that now can we.” Roman said. He pulled off his snow gear and got under the blankets with Dee pulling him close. Dee snuggled into the warmth.

About 10 minutes later Logan came home. “Good evening my dears.” Logan said as he took off his snow gear. “Hey Lo” “Hey kiddo” “Hello Calculator Watch.” Logan walked over to the couch and kissed his boyfriends. “Great now we're just missing Virgil.” Patton said.

They all settled on the couch and started talking about their day.

Dimitri was home all day so not much to report. Patton had a half day at the daycare because of the snow. He is ecstatic because one of the LIU kids is greatly improving.

Roman's role as the Ghost of Christmas Past in a production of “A Christmas Carol” is going amazing.

Logan had a normal day at of classes. The day was cut short because of the weather.

They all discussed their days and cuddled while watching some random holiday movie.

(20 minutes later)

“Has anyone heard from Virgil? I'm trying to reach him but he's not picking up.” Patton said concern lacing how voice. “I'm sure the buses just got delayed because of the snow Patton.” Logan said. “Yes! I'm sure our emo nightmare will be home shortly.” Roman said boldly. Dimitri was worried, it's not like Virgil to be late and not at least send a text.

(40 minutes later)

Ok now everyone is worried. Virgil isn't picking up the phone and the snow is really coming down.

Patton decided to go and get Virgil's favourite patchwork jacket for him, for when he comes home. He audibly gasped from Virgil's room. He walked back to the living room hurriedly. He said that Virgil's snow gear except for his heavy jacket is still there.

Now everyone is extremely worried about Virgil. He doesn't have his snow gear in a blizzard, and he's not picking up the phone.

(50 minutes later)

Virgil walked into the house. He was covered in snow. His was shaking and his lips were blue. Everyone got up and ran to him.

“Virgil where have you been!? Oh my goodness your freezing!” Patton exclaimed.

“Yes Virgil, where have you been, you are almost an hour late.” Logan asked.

“S-s-sorry g-guys the bu-uses got s-shut down.” Virgil managed while shivering.

“Don't tell us that you seriously walked home in a blizzard without your snow gear. You should have called us. We would have picked you up” Dimitri said shaking his head.

“Yes why didn't you call J-Delightful? We were worried sick.” Roman said.

“I-im sorry. M-my phone d-died. A-and even if y-you w-wanted to p-pick me u-up you c-couldn't, the r-roads are all c-closed.” Virgil managed still shaking violently.

“It's alright kiddo you just scared us is all. Now let's get you out of these wet clothes and into something warm. And next time you go out your taking all of your snow gear.” Patton said starting to help Virgil out of his jacket.

After they had gotten Virgil out of the wet clothes and into something warmer they all curled up on the couch. They formed a cuddle pile to help warm up Virgil. They put on some Disney movie and one by one fell asleep. Dimitri was the last awake.

He sat up slowly as to not wake the others. He looked over the peacefully sleeping faces of his boyfriends. He smiled and wondered what he had done to deserve these four amazing people in his life.

He looked out the window. The snow had fallen multiple feet at this point. There was no way they were going into work the next day.

He laid back down. He looked over again and said quietly “I love you all so much”. He was really surprised when Virgil responded “We love you too. Now go to sleep”. He smiled and chuckled before relaxing and falling asleep warm and happy surrounded by the loves of his life.