#and at worst feels like the constant defending of our own genders we have to do in real life!!!

[triptychgardener]

Hey so just maybe consider that constantly asking trans women about their justifications for their various reads of character's genders over and over and over again may, in fact, get exhausting and it sucks and you should probably stop.

Like I tend to answer asks assuming good faith and because I don't mind giving an explainer every now and again. And it can even be fun now and again to go through the my analysis process.

But the fact that so often transfem reads are interrogated endlessly over and over again while trans women are expected to be ever-flowing fonts of gender knowledge who have to defend their reads from people who haven't even done a basic bit of analysis makes actually engaging in this fandom and taking it seriously a fucking ordeal.

If you don't agree with or are confused by a read, consider reading a bit more analysis on it or, barring all else, just move on! Unfollow or block! We literally cannot stop you and it will save everyone a lot of time and energy!

[endobiologist]

Trans Guy Tips #4; Socially Transitioning

Now this one is a tricky one, and it's a situation almost every trans person has to go through at some point in their life, unless they stay in the closet for life, but if you're planning to come out, and you don't know how to approach the situation and don't know how to judge if it's safe, I hope I can be a reliable guide for you on this journey.

This is usually the first step in any trans person's journey, before they physically transition, (which some don't as well). However here we're talking specifically about trans men.

So while some of the things I say could apply to trans women, always remember I'm writing about trans men from a trans man's point of view, so that's the targeted demographic here.

Once I learn more about trans women's struggles and things they go through, since I don't have the personal experience of it, I will definitely write trans women articles as well, and as well non-binary people.

So let's begin, with a list of important things to keep in mind whilst coming out to the world or at least to your family and close friends.

1. Safety is everything.

Always no matter what.

A good way to test if someone is going to be safe to come out to, is to casually bring it up in in a conversation topic, something like "What are your thoughts on lgbtq people, or specifically what are your thoughts on trans people?"

If they become aggressive and violent about it, and start being transphobic or defensive or any of the signs of bigotry, do not and I mean do not come out to them yet.

If it's a parent, I'd suggest at least wait until you're of age to move out, or have moved out, to come out to them. Sometimes people will get verbally and physically violent towards you if you come out to them and they're not accepting of it, so the most important thing is to always judge the reactions of people, and if they react well, then you can come out to them.

2. Always choose trustworthy people to keep your secret whilst you're in the closet.

There's been a lot of people who trusted idiots who they thought were their friends and they ended up outing them to the whole school they were in, etc. etc. But there was a lot of stories about this happening multiple times.

Make sure the people you tell would take the secret to their grave, especially if you're in an abusive household and can't come out for fear of violence.

3. If you're in a very abusive household, especially one that's openly homophobic and transphobic, as hard it is, please wait to come out as long as you possibly can until you have a place of your own and you're safe for sure.

A lot of people have been known to kick out their own children on to the streets because of them being LGBT, or do much worse...

Now of course these are some of the worst case scenarios, but being LGBT you always have to think about every bad thing that could occur so that you can prevent it.

4. When it comes to actually coming out, I would always recommend bringing a good friend or close family member who supports you, so that you have backup, not only for them to chime in and tell their piece and defend you, but just them being there makes the other person not want to be as violent towards you, because they fear what others will think of them.

If you're coming out to an extended family member or anyone, don't trust to do it alone, always bring a good friend.

5. One of the best ways to come out that I've seen are ways that are jokey and hilarious!

It seems to smooth over and make it a much more pleasant transition for everyone, and usually even homophobic people won't get too mad, they might even laugh!

I've seen people bake cakes with the words "Surprise I'm gay!" on it, things like that.

Just little cute things that are nice to do for your parents or people you're coming out to, but make it a surprise and that you're actually lgbt!

Now remember though, always follow the first rule and make sure safety is priority, but if you know you're safe, but you're just not sure they understand, starting out with jokes helps a lot.

6. The second step you should do after coming out is always try to explain your side of the story.

If there are people who don't let you get a word in, let them know that you have important things to say and that they need to listen to you and then they can say whatever they need.

Explain how it feels to be trans, explain why you know you're trans, of course you shouldn't have to ideally, but unfortunately a lot of people won't understand unless they're given more information, as the subject is completely foreign to them.

I know my grandma specifically reacted so well, all she did was ask me questions about it, and once I answered all her questions, she hummed in satisfaction and she never questioned it again and completely accepted me.

And a lot of times you'll get people who are pretty neutral, people who will call you by your chosen name and gender but don't really totally care as much as you want them to, but they still go along with it and just kind of assume you know what's best for you, which is a really kind thing really.

I've had a few people react neutrally and it's actually relaxing, there's no pressure put on for being gay, either over positive or over negative. but I have to say as a trans person and gay person, and grey-ace person, I love the people who ask questions the most.

I don't mind answering, and it means they're trying to learn more about something they don't understand, which means they have a huge heart and huge open mind.

Some people may get annoyed at the constant questions, but I absolutely adore them.

To me, every time someone asks about me, they're showing interest in my life and my feelings.

7. Next the scientific method.

Look up on any scientific article anywhere, and you'll find studies done on trans men and women's brains.

It was shown factually multiple times, over and over, whenever they repeated it it did it again, that trans men have the same brain structure as cis men, and trans women have the same brain structure as cis women, and non-binary people have somewhere in the middle. This was factually proven, you can look it up, so if they try to use science to defend against you, educate that that science is actually for LGBT rights and has explained how it works even.

8. Try to be gentle when it comes to pronouns.

For a lot of people, especially people of foreign languages where some languages don't have genders, or will have different genders, or other things like that, or even just English speakers that aren't used to saying 'they', or your family not being used to your pronouns yet.

It can take a while, and I know it's frustrating, it could take even a few years for them to finally get it right every time.

It's not supposed to be an attack towards you, it's genuinely hard to reprogram yourself when you think someone is one thing your whole life and then it turns out they're the other thing! So be sure to be gentle with them while they're practising, remind them every time they make a mistake, but remind them gently, as they are trying to do the right thing, they're just slipping up due to habit.

In general, be patient with non-lgbt folks, if we're mad at them, it just drives them away, rather than driving them toward us to help and assist us.

We should be grateful for our allies.

9. Once you've come out and your parents probably still have questions, I would recommend sitting down and having family night where you read together some good articles about transgenderism, and LGBT+ in general.

If they're not familiar with it, this type of education can help them a lot to understand the terminology and how to address you, and basic respect for trans & lgbtq+ people.

Overall it's a learning experience for both of you, and it would be amazing to do if they're willing to learn.

Remember that it's a journey for all of us, and everyone has a lot to learn.

10. When selecting your name, I have one piece of advice/a question for you; "Does it spark joy?"

The most important thing, it doesn't matter how odd sounding it is, or differently spelled it is, or whatever your name is, if you enjoy your name, that's what matters.

Always pick the one that calls out to you.

And it's okay to change it from time to time, people need time to figure out who they are!

And with that, I conclude my fourth part!

I hope you were helped by this in any way, and thanks for reading.

[rudysrings]

Twin Pogues of the OBX - 2

A/N: Ayyy. Seems like no one hates the concept so I decided to go ahead and continue... Let me know what you guys think!

Warnings: Cursing, Mentions of sex, guns, slow burn

Word count: 3190

Masterlist

ON WITH IT!

Once you reached the depth of the boat, you released the anchor, letting it fall out of view. You swam across the Grady-White, looking for anything worth collecting, hoping not to find a body, especially your dad’s body.

Near the floor of the bow of the boat, there where keys. You swiftly picked them up, your lungs beginning to burn from the lack of oxygen. You worried that you would take an involuntary gasp of air, so you turned back with only the keys. You wondered how the keys didn’t get lost during the storm.

You broke the surface with the keys in your hand, brushing your hair back from your face. Your friends were over the side of the boat and John B let out a sigh of relief.

Kiara huffed too, “Oh my god, that took forever.”

Pope asked if you had found any dead bodies and you shook your head no. You saw JJ mutter something to himself and look at you with slight guilt. You were gone awhile. He probably thought he had pushed you to your death.

You hoisted yourself up onto the bow and swung your legs over.

When you told the rest of the pogues that what you had found was a motel key, they seemed slightly discouraged and sarcastic that that was what you had salvaged.

Kiara suggested that you guys report the wreck to the coast guard, hoping for a finder’s fee.

On your way there, JJ approached you at the bow, his hand resting on your shoulder. You turned, and he looked at the deck.

He patted your shoulder and pulled his lips inside his mouth, making his face resemble a monkey’s.

“I’m glad you didn’t, ah, drown or something, aight?” He patted your shoulder awkwardly and walked away before you could even respond to that extremely random statement.

You heard Pope laugh at him, slapping his head, “Dude, glad she didn’t drown? Is that the best you can do?” JJ stopped his laughing real quick with a hard shove to the shoulder.

“Ay, shut the hell up, will ya?”

Going back to your beer, you turned back to the water. Kiara nudged your shoulder. “JJ’s right you know, that wasn’t rational.”

You smirked, swirling the last of the beer at the bottom of the bottle. You wrinkled your nose as you realized it was probably just backwash. You took a swig anyways, “Since when am I rational, Kie?”

Kie scoffed, shaking her head at you in disbelief. “You could have died you wretch!”

You shrugged, tossing the bottle aside, “And? Wouldn’t have been the worst way to go. Y’all would have had a helluva story to tell, eh?”

“Story, what the fuck, Y/N?”

You chuckled, shaking your head. Her nurturing reminded your brother. “Honestly, you and John B are the same person. Just gender swapped. You’d be amazing together. I’d never escape your combined mothering powers.” You watched your legs swing over the edge of the boat, something that was far from safe but kept you on edge in a good way. You saw Kiara’s blush and smirked. “Diving was fun, anyways.”

Kiara pursed her lips. “Honestly, you guys are perfect for each other, too.”

You weren’t entirely sure what she meant, but you had a good idea. You knew asking questions would simply draw more attention, so you decided to let it slide.

When you reached the coast guard, John B and JJ went inside to notify them, trying to make their way through the loud crowd.

You crossed your arms as you waited with Kiara and Pope. Pope was staring at you intently and eventually you had enough of it. “What is it, Pope? Why are you looking at me like one of those corpses you so badly want to study?”

Pope didn’t flinch at my obvious attempt to deflect the conversation. “You gonna keep pulling shit like you did back there?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” You said.

Kiara raised her eyebrows as Pope said. “Even if you don’t, I think you should know that John B’s blood pressure can’t take you risking life and limb to check out a goddamn boat wreck.”

You rolled your eyes, “I think I know what my own brother’s blood pressure can take, but thanks for the evaluation, Pope.” You brushed a lock of your hair behind your ear, folding your arms, “Besides, it’s not like my blood pressure can take John B’s constant delusions that our dad’s not dead at the bottom of the ocean somewhere.”

“Y/N!” Kiara hissed at my bluntness.

You held your hands outward, questioning, “What? We all know it’s true.”

Just then, John B and JJ returned, JJ saying, “Well, that went well. So what’s the plan?”

John B insisted that you guys check out the motel room that those keys opened, Kiara agreed to be look out.

As you guys pulled up to the motel, JJ let out a low whistle. You could see why. Agatha had really done a number on this place, even worse than the Chateau. The shingles were barely hanging on to the roof and the entire place just looked drowned, like it had aged fifty years overnight. You noticed furniture all around outside, probably to dry since it would collect mold and mildew if left damp indoors.

It didn’t make sense that someone who owned a Grady-White would stay in a run-down place like this. John B voiced this thought of yours.

You, John B and JJ hopped out of the boat, JJ tying it down. As you guys turned to leave, Pope said to John B, “Don’t let them do anything stupid.”

JJ shrugged, “Oh, we will.”

You winked at Pope, John B sighing, “I’m not making any promises.”

Kiara handed the motel keys to John B, warning in a low voice, “Be careful.” At John B’s lack of response, she leaned forward, giving him a hard look. “I’m serious, be careful.”

You nearly laughed out loud at your brother’s dumb response, an awkward chuckle and a breathy “Heh, yeah…”

As you guys walked down the hall, JJ nudged your side and nodded his head at John B, as if to say, “Watch this.”

He grabbed John B by the shoulder and chin, turning his face towards his; they were only inches apart.

John B’s eyes widened, JJ saying with an overly romantic tone, “Just be so careful, John B.”

Laughing, you watched as John B shoved JJ off harshly, sending him into you. Your back hit the back of his tank top and you caught a whiff of his scent. At first you were repulsed, expecting boyish BO, but surprisingly, JJ smelled of salt, sea salt. He must have been surfing this morning. You pushed him forward, ignoring his dumb grin.

John B looked disgusted, “God, you’re so weird.” He said to JJ.

JJ shrugged, his shoulders reaching his ears. “Dude, what the heck was that about?”

John B looked at him sarcastically. “I don’t know; maybe she wants us to be careful.”

JJ rolled his eyes, clapping him on the back, saying “Every since you’re being threatened with exile, she’s just been like—” JJ caressed John B’s face again, “Oh, be so careful, John B.”

You snorted when JJ added, “Just give me that John D already. Like when are you gonna swoop in on that?”

You but in, agreeing, “You two need to just bang already. I feel like I’m going to puke every time I look at you guys.”

John B’s looked tense. “You know the rule, guys. No pogue-on-pogue macking.”

JJ looked over at you, mocking John B’s statement silently.

You giggled and John B said, “JJ you need help. Not like a little help, you need a lot of help. ‘Cause it’s like every girl who has a heartbeat, you’re just like… UNGHHH…” John B stuck his hands out, acting as if a magnet was forcing him forward, dragging his body.

JJ scoffed, “What? It’s not a big deal. Your sister’s no different!” He defended, gesturing to you.

You slapped him on the shoulder for bringing you into this.

John B turned to JJ, raising his eyebrows. “Don’t bring my sister into this, dude.”

JJ held his hands up. “Whatever, man. I was just sayin’…”

You sighed, walking over to the door. “I think this is us guys, twenty-nine.”

JJ walked over, knocking on the door swiftly before raising his voice to a high-pitch and mimicking in one breath, “Housekeeping.”

You bit your lip to keep from laughing. That sound nearly sent you. JJ had always been a master of voices, but this was one of your favorites.

When John B asked if he should open it, JJ added something in Spanish and your eyes widened. You brushed your hair forward, hoping no one would see your random flush of skin.

“No power. No security cameras. No one’s gonna know,” said JJ. It was true, this was a beyond ideal situation.

Your brother unlocked the door, letting the three of you in and locking it behind him.

There wasn’t much inside. You figured it was probably a man over 50 given his choice of clothing, but there was no identification. There was a map with some coordinates pointing to off the continental shelf, which made no sense since no one fished there.

John B found a safe, but was trying to guess and check the password, JJ focused on the map. You realized there was a post it with a pin number on it and you picked it up, handing it your brother. “Here, try this.”

It worked. When he opened the safe, you immediately saw piles of cash. “Well, shit…”

You called JJ over and a giddy smile took over his face as he saw what was inside. Of course, he immediately went for the gun.

He picked it up, turning this way and that, pretending as if you guys were in some sort of lame action movie and he was taking down some cronies after him.

In all honesty, you were jealous. Crossing your arms, you pouted. “I wanted the gun.”

JJ shrugged. “Too slow.” Adjusting his position, he asked, “Come on, take a picture of me.”

John B stood up, shaking his head.

You looked at him like he was an idiot, “Seriously? You want to make our own incriminating evidence?”

Suddenly there was a hard rock hitting plexiglass sound from the window and John B looked over, before jumping to the blinds by the door of the motel room, hissing, “Cops.”

There was no way you guys would make it out in time.

You looked over at the window, ushering the guys over, “Hurry! Out here.”

JJ went out first, John B following. You shuffled out quickly, and felt an arm at your waist. You turned to see JJ, who was looking at your feet, focusing on helping you onto the ledge he was on. You leaned out, nearly falling but trusting him to hold on to you as you closed the window door with your hand. JJ pulled you back to the ledge with one swoop, the quick movement making you crash into his side.

Luckily your hair was in a braid, or it might have gotten you guys caught.

John B held his finger up to his lips, gesturing for you guys to be quiet.

You nodded. JJ didn’t remove his arm from around you. There was hardly enough room for one person. Afraid you would fall, he pulled you even closer, so that your feet were on top of his. You were chest to chest, your back against the wall, JJ caging you, but not touching you. He wasn’t looking at you but into the window, his eyebrows furrowed with anxiousness.

Without anything else to look at, you stared at him. Your breath was coming fast from your fear, making you pant and take in large gulps of hot air.

Sea salt. Once again, you could smell it. Stupidly, your mouth moved before you could control it, “Did you go surfing this morning?” You whispered.

JJ turned to you, face blank and confused. “What?”

You saw Kiara and Pope run back to the HMS Pogue.

You flushed immediately, and JJ watched your blush reach your chest. “Uh, what?” You repeated. “Nothing, never mind.”

You looked to the side, trying to ignore his stare on you. His hand reached up, tucking a strand of hair that had come loose from your braid behind your ear.

He leaned back towards the window and John B and him shared a look of astonishment. They had taken the money. The cops had stolen from a crime scene. JJ whispered, “What the fuck?”

You looked back at him, eyebrows furrowed. Suddenly, he shuffled slightly, and the gun that was loosely tucked into his waistband slipped, clattering on its way to the ground.

Fuck.

JJ punched the wall slightly in frustration and cursed under his breath.

John B glared but didn’t say anything. You all flinched when the window curtain was opened abruptly. Afraid you guys would be seen, JJ moved closer, his chest flush against yours now. You could hear his heart racing and you were sure he could feel how fast your chest was rising and falling. Because of the crisis. Right, because of the crisis.

He leaned forward, hiding his face beside yours, his scruffy blonde hair tickling your left cheek.

You took a deep breath before holding it, your eyes closed. You didn’t want to catch anymore of his scent. It made you foolish and disoriented.

It was tense minute. It felt like hours to you. Finally, they were gone. You released your breath onto JJ’s shoulder, and you noticed him shudder slightly.

He pulled away, making eye contact for a little too long before moving. John B opened the window and hopped inside. JJ followed, disentangling his limbs from yours.

JJ reached his hand out to you to help you up, but as usual, you slapped it away. He rolled his eyes as he watched you hold onto the sides of the window frame, hoisting yourself through the space. For some goddamn reason, today had to be the day the tip of your foot got caught on the frame and you stumbled.

Instantly, JJ had his arms out, helping you through.

Once inside, you patted him softly on the chest and he let go of you.

You straightened your shirt, clearing your throat and following John B out the door.

When you reached the HMS Pogue, Kiara and Pope had it ready to go. You guys got in and Pope drove off.

Pope asked if you guys found anything and JJ held up the money and the gun. While Kiara and Pope shouted at him for taking something from a crime scene, you gave him a high-five.

What was life without a little danger, anyways?

When you guys returned to the docks, they brought in Scooter Grubbs’ body. Apparently, he had drowned while taking his brand-new Grady-White into the storm.

When you returned to the Chateau, you guys pieced it together. It was obvious that Scooter had to have been a drug dealer, otherwise it wouldn’t have made any sense that a marina rat like him could have copped a goddamn Grady-White.

Despite Pope’s initial doubts, you guys wanted to go after the contraband that was no doubt hidden in the boat.

For now, you had to lay low. Of course, to you guys, that meant throwing a kegger on your side of the island. You even invited the kooks. They were great at attracting attention, which meant less attention on you guys, and less attention from the fact that you guys had a gun stolen from a crime scene.

It was late, and you walked over to your brother with a beer in your hand. He was leaning over one of the campfire logs, looking out wistfully with his chin in his hand. You followed his eyes and saw that he was staring at Sarah Cameron, the local, certified golden girl of the kooks. Rolling your eyes, you gave him a shove. “Find someone in your own league, bro!”

He shook his head quickly. “What? No, I wasn’t—”

You stopped him from saying anymore. “I don’t care, JB.”

You turned, looking to get more beer when someone twirled you from behind. You were met with a solid chest and looked up to see Asher.

He gave you a grin and you gave a wary smile, uncomfortable with his sudden physical contact.

“We always run into each other at keggers, ay?” Said Asher.

You nodded, pursing your lips. “Seems that way.”

Asher threw his arm around your shoulder, taking the rest of your drink and downing it. “We should really try to change that.” He suggested.

He was asking you out. Embarrassed, you tried to shoot him down nicely, “Ahh, I kind of like it better this way.”

Asher turned to face you, stopping your pace. “Aw, come on! Let me take you out, Y/N.”

You smiled. “Sorry, Asher, but dating’s really not my style.”

Confused, Asher laughed, “But whoring it up is?”

You heard a sharp, “Hey!” and JJ appeared from behind you. How long had he been there?

He shoved Asher. “What the hell did you say?” He questioned, gaining on Asher.

Asher put his hands up in the air, “Listen, man, I don’t want any trouble. Besides, who the fuck are you?”

You saw Topper appear, Sarah Cameron at his heels. “What’s going on here? You dirty pogues giving my little brother a hard time?”

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Asher was Topper’s younger brother? You had slept with that?

Repulsed, you wrinkled your nose. John B approached to see what the commotion was about as well. He asked what was happening and JJ gestured accusingly at Asher. “This one’s calling Y/N a whore.”

John B’s eyebrow rose, his expression dangerous.

This was not going to end well.

“He did what?” Before he could reach Asher, Topper shoved John B, provoking him to shove back, leading to an all-out brawl.

You were tempted to join in, but Kiara held tight to your arm, not letting you out of her grip.

One thing led to another and Topper had John B’s head in the water, drowning him.

“JOHN B! Topper get OFF!” You screamed.

You watched as JJ’s jaw clenched at your hysterical cries. Steeling himself, he ran up to the fight, pulling the gun out of his shorts and holding it to Topper’s head.

Everyone on the beach scattered at the sight of a gun. Pope cursed with his hands on his head, furious.

JJ muttered something to Topper and he held his hands up, releasing John B. Kiara finally let you go and you ran up to your brother, who was coughing his lungs out.

Kiara joined you, helping John B up and walking him out of the water.

He shook you guys off, glaring at JJ.

You guys blew it. This was the complete opposite of laying low.

To be continued…

Masterlist

@treestarrrrrrrr​

[rae-arts777]

I want to talk about my religious trauma

I just want to tell my story, I know mine is minor, I know there’s worst out there, but I’m hoping maybe mine cause reach out to anyone experiencing the same so they feel less alone

Let’s start way back

Edit: (sorry I should have put this earlier) TW: slight sexual assault, self harm, suicide mention

Growing up a christian adventist, I knew Friday night to Saturday was worship. No electronics or TV unless it was veggie tales, or a Bible cartoon, and church Saturday.

Of course I acted out a bit, and would get scolded for not staying still. My mother however wasn’t upset at me for ruining church, just upset I wasn’t behaving and granted don’t blame her cause I was a brat lol. I would get in more trouble if I went with my grandma. I was “disrespecting the lord in his house” and well...I mean it’s hard for a child to sit still for 8 hours wearing a dress and shoes that made me itchy and gave me blisters

Now church was fun in some sense. Got to see my friends, food after services, I loved being able to help in the kitchen and help the elders as well.

Good right?

Well...as a child, we think what we know if right. I thought the way we had church was common to everyone. When I started school, it was different for me. I asked “why do my friends go to church on Sunday?” My grandma told me “they just don’t know the proper way, it’s your duty to tell them”

I remember...being really horrible towards a kid who’s family was an atheist. We were still friends, but I will tell him “you’re trusting the devil”. My words never seem to hurt him since he laughed them off, but I never stopped...I look back and have so much guilt. So much guilt towards others too since I tried to tell them church was Saturday’s, and going on Sunday was wrong. I think about how horrible I was, cause my religion never taught me to be accepting to others beliefs, it taught me that it’s my duty to turn others to the right way. And that makes me upset. If my religion was the religion of “accepting everyone no matter what” then why is every one else’s religion the work of the devil? And why are baptism, also who was Christians, deem “evil” like Catholics in our religion.

Middle school. I started attending the church school. Hell

I didn’t like our new pastor, something about the way he said things just...didn’t stick. His kids were a nightmare. They torment everyone. Got teachers fired they didn’t like. And went crying to their parents if they didn’t get their way. No they were not toddlers. They were teens. One got in between my old best friend and I, and since then her and I were never the same.

Because I liked art and anime...I was the weird kid, so they constantly picked on me. Pastor kids telling me certain kids here didn’t deserve to be made by god. That god made a mistake. I told them to stop, but they would go “you just don’t know. It’s hard for us!!! We don’t mean what we say!” And looking and writing this now, that was the first gaslighting and toxic friendships I experience.

It made me more mad the pastor told the whole church that his kids were perfect children. And they set an example of how all the kids in the church could act. That pastor family was just horrible. Lies, manipulation, just rude. He would make side remarks about my mum’s blonde dye hair. He would say something to my mum if I wore pants or a leather jacket to church. Just the way he said things, made my mum feel like she was a horrible parent. They made side comments when my dad would finally show up.

“I’m sorry my dad wasn’t constantly gone, he’s was too busy fighting for our country.” Is what they would want us to say.

Church become a chore. Not a joy. And when we got a new pastor, one I started to connect with, we moved away and in with my grandma

Now highschool. This is where I started drifting away from religion. I love my grandma..I really do ...but she’s so extreme. The Bible this. The Bible that. I can’t have a normal conversation without her being up the Bible. Can’t watch a movie, show, or listen to music that’s not Christian without her bringing up the Bible or turning it into a Bible lesson. I hated going to church. I hated hearing “repent. The world is ending soon”

Hearing constant that our young generation is filled with the devil, feeling all the eyes of the elders on me as I’m trying to comfort someone’s child so they can enjoy church peacefully

Hearing anyone experiencing love towards the same gender is the devil’s working

That everything I like is filled with the devil

My grandma start forcing religion worst and worst down my throat. Saying I have to be prepare. I need to make my choice. Don’t I want to be in heaven with everyone? I need to give myself to god

I won’t see my family members who passed away Catholic.

That I need to tell my other side of the family who’s Catholic the right way

The news comes on....hearing the Bible says this the Bible says that

Trying to defend trump with the Bible

This pandemic is the first plague, the world will end soon

The studies getting more and more. I can’t even read the Bible just to study out of joy cause I feel like someone is breathing down my neck.

I’m getting a headache just thinking about it.

And then I’m introduce the rotten apples of my religion.

We shouldn’t wear mask it’s God’s air

Only having faith is god will keep you from getting sick and heal you

Ever remember of LGBT is going to hell

Woman who abortion are going to hell

People will tattoos go to hell

People who don’t read the Bible everyday are going to hell

People who want to make this religion more open and accepting, are hearing the devil and are going to hell

People who kill themselves are going to hell

Mental illness isn’t real; it’s just the devil and you just have to be happy cause you have god.

I told my mom I can’t do it anymore, I just can’t, it’s more forced down on me too much. If the world is ending what’s the point? What’s the point of college? What’s the point of life? What’s the point of looking for love?! Cause I’ve been told so many times my own children won’t ever get to adult or teen hood cause the world will end! What’s the point. I’m so grateful to have a mother who understands..

And it pisses me out with these Christian movies. A boy is about to kill himself, and is getting told “you’ll go to hell! You really want that?! To go to hell?!” Why are you showing this?! That’s a last thing a suicidal person needs to hear. They don’t need a fucking Bible lesson, they need comfort!!! As a person who’s tried drowning, choking, and harming themselves, I fucking know I wouldn’t want someone to find me and say “you’re going to hell for that!”

And then you have those horrible people who think just cause they are religious that it gives them a right to be a shitty person. My grandma would fucking forgive a murder if they came out as Christian.

I told my grandma once “I do want to be more involved with the church, I want to give a sermon” and she told me “you can give a small one, not a full one, god did not use women to preach, he used men. I rather you do the children’s story”

.......

The Vice President...some Christians hate her cause “god didn’t intend for women to lead, if he did his apostles would have been women”

my grandma says “she slept her way to the top!” But oh! She didn’t mind if trump, a man who’s assaulted god knows how many women was in office...

Forgive everyone....you’re suppose to forgive abusers..my bullies....I was told to forgive them even if they never said sorry..cause god wants us to forgive

I allowed..a boy to convince me to do things...cause men always knew what was right...it was ok as long as we didn’t have sex...and it was ok...cause he was a Christian boy...

I just try to be a good human...I have sickenly forgave so many people who’ve hurt me....and now...I’m the pushover...

But what I did was wrong...

I’ve just....drifted away slowly...my grandma has sort of stop trying, maybe cause I’m an adult so I can make my own choices..maybe my mum told her something...

But the things she says makes me feel ashame for being Christian....

For the longest time I thought we were perfect people...now that I’m older...I see we’re just as bad..if not worst...

It makes me so sick...just thinking..how I forgave people who HURT ME cause ...if I can’t forgive, then God doesnt want me.

If god really wants all of his “children” then why if it when we says “I don’t want to forgive the person who gave me this trauma” then it’s “i forgave you why can’t you forgive them? It’s so simple, you really can’t do something that simple? Guess you don’t want to go to heaven”

I’m so done

I’m so tired..

I have a headache and started crying a bit while writing this and there’s so much more. But my wrist hurts and just...I want to scream.

But for the majority...that’s my religious trauma.

I’m not hoping to gain anything, just to reach to anyone else who’s going through the same emotions...you’re not alone ok?

[chelleblack]

RON WEASLEY DOESN’T DESERVE HERMIONE GRANGER

Ron is everything that is wrong when you like a boy. He’s controlling, jealousy, flirts with other girls in your face, makes you feel less, likes to make you suffer and cry, and if he feels in a small moment inferior to you, he makes you FUCKING STUMBLE LMAO

(Until today sun, i don’t understand at all the people who defend his bad attitude, and even dare to say that Hermione is the ONE who didn't deserve him. are y’all kidding me for god’s sake???)

This plot-twist-relationship is the worst couple in Harry Potter, it has no feet or head.

He was her "best friend". They lived fighting. They were opposite poles. They had nothing in common other than being in the same house and Harry. 

He insensibly mocked her dreams and interests, and, she tries to mold him to perfection of her ideal of the couple she wanted with a man: continuing to cover all his visible blemishes. He was a constant jealous, possessive and manipulative with her, but he also feasted on flirting with any girl who breathed around him, finally taking hermione as the second table dish, and she ALWAYS swallowed her pride for him. 

Tell me... Do you really think they would have gone that far? That our golden girl Hermione deserved a deal and end up like this? Because i don’t  and i still don't understand why this happened. The truth is that J.K. Rowling created an incredibly magical world, spells, magical creatures, the plot is attractive and her fame is well understood. But when it comes to romance or the personal development of certain characters... Let's admit it: completely missed the whole point. She went down the path of the safe and boring, the easiest to narrate; for example, marrying all the students to people from their own house. She didn’t venture or risk. They all had a similar pattern, and i'm not just talking about the cis-heterosexual-normative.

That Hermione liked and fell in love with Ron locally makes no sense with with the strong and powerful personality that she demonstrated day after day that she owned.

She didn’t allow herself to be stepped for people, she seemed to have a certain self-esteem -that evaporated thanks to that descendant with Ron-, because she showed that if someone treated her badly, she usually backed off and ignored them because she knew she was wasting valuable time with people who stood in her way with ignorance and comments that weren’t really important to her and her actions, and only gave them a spoon of their own medicine if it was serious. Like what happend with Rita Skeeter. But -apparently- everything was different when its about Ron, because it seemed that she loved being treated so wickedly, she forgave everything. 

And if that was the case, she simply would have fallen madly in love with Draco. Period.

Marching backwards: 

Viktor did go according to what we imagine someone would like Hermione. He treated her very well -the same taste for reading-, they were reserved people, and he respected her and gave her the attention she wanted. So ... why did the Romiene-thing happen? Why?

The problem here is that if Ron hadn't been an idiot to her, this wouldn't have been another cis-heterosexual-toxic-romance to read. I think even the author herself was realizing this mess that would have created that "sweet" filling between these two in “Deathly Hallows”. Although, it’s also something that happens too fast, and leads to nothing lasting or pleasant. And, the most tragic of all, is that Hermione is the one who takes the first step... again.

I also don't think there should be anything romantic between the trio. Can't they just be friends? The three couldn’t be the representation that both men and women work very well together without reaching romance, that they will be good friends and nothing more? i mean, there are people who are upset to hear that Hermione and Harry would have been a better match (Although it’s true, he was healthier, more compatible, and the best: their fights didn’t end in tears, and compared to Ron... Harry was a sweet and kind boy, and not a sexist at all)

Hearing a romantic relationship between Hermione and Harry, some people annoyed that they were good friends and, as brothers, and that they were the representation of people of different genders, they had to be friends and that: nothing more. But doesn't that argument sound hypocritical to you? Because we would say the same about Ron.

Also if Dramione bothers y’all because you say is based on mistreatment and being a bully with her, but you come to defend Romione? With what morality and logic do you defend that relationship?

I can count on one hand all of Draco's supposedly unforgivable evil actions towards her, but i could make a complete list of all the times Ron was miserable with Hermione, and in the end, when objectively a serious observation was expected for that problematic behavior (like, it was given to the relationship of draco and hermione): nothing happened. Which demonstrated a fixation to the double standards in these two relationships.

And it is well understood that their future couple will need on going therapy and it is very understandable that divorce is the other step between them.

[dreadwulf]

*sigh* Okay, I just had to write this all out to get it off my chest and hopefully get over it and move on.

People tell me I look just like Brienne of Tarth. I’m tall, blonde, broad-shouldered, and homely. I get mistaken for a man, even when I have long hair that goes all down my back, even wearing a dress. I’ve gotten used to it.

My earliest memory of school is lying on the ground while a crowd of boys are kicking and hitting me, because I was an ugly freak. Girls grow earlier than boys do, you see. I was the tallest kid in my elementary, and I was hated for it. I endured constant abuse. When I got a little bit older, and I was almost 6 feet tall when I was 12, the abuse mostly turned away from being physical and into emotional and psychological. Girls followed me into the bathroom, laughing at how my clothes didn’t fit, how awkward I was, how masculine. Boys no longer hit me, just ignored or ridiculed me. Because it was the 80s I heard constant references to the East German olympic team, how I looked like a member. I didn’t understand the references at the time, but I knew it was yet another reference to how I didn’t measure up as a woman. Much later I learned about how those women were dosed with testosterone by the government against their will - a terrible story that the people around me regarded as a joke.  There’s nothing funnier than a manish woman, apparently.

When I was young I was undatable, never considered an option to anyone. I never kissed anyone until I was in my twenties, and was a virgin until I was 25. It’s bizarre when I look back now at photos of myself, because I’m expecting a hideous monster, and all I see is an ordinary girl - a little taller, broad-shouldered and plain, not pretty, but ordinary. But it all got into my head, you see. Inside I still feel like a freak. Undesireable. Unloved.

I started watching Game of Thrones from the first episode (mainly because I’m a big fan of Peter Dinklage!), and I was intrigued. Intrigued, but not obsessed, not yet. I’m a grown woman and I don’t have time for that sort of thing. But the first time Brienne of Tarth took off her helmet onscreen and I saw her face, I literally pointed at the screen and said out loud, “that’s me!”

Never in my life have I reacted that way before. Never before, and never since.

Granted, the actress who plays her is a great beauty, but the character of Brienne I latched onto instantly and felt a deep kinship with, especially after reading her story in the books. How as a child she was a girl very much like Sansa, who loved songs and romance and dancing and other girlish things, but the adults around her told her she was too ugly. Her septa told her no one would ever love or want her. She was shamed for wearing dresses and trying to be feminine, was told she was embarassing herself because her body was not womanly enough. She was made to feel like a failure just for existing, for being umarriagable, for causing the end of her house by being so ugly that no one wanted her. But instead of just crumbling and disappearing, Brienne of Tarth took up a sword and decided to make something else of herself. She wanted to help people, she wanted to contribute something to the world, and she decided to find a good lord and serve them as a knight. Brienne is brave and caring and defends the weak and wants to protect the people she loves. Brienne is a hero. She is a hero while not being tiny and delicate and pretty but large, sturdy, and ugly. In that she is completely unique, and completely wonderful.

A lot of old wounds opened up, watching that story and reading A Feast For Crows. Old issues I thought I was over all came back up. I identified powerfully with having your femininity stolen from you because your body is different, with being abused for not being woman enough, and with longing for love in a world that hates you. I remembered being hated, constantly and visciously hated, just for existing. I relived the bone-deep belief that I would spend my entire life alone, because no one would ever want me, a belief that was constantly validated by the actual people around me. I became painfully aware of the sense that I still have to this day of being constantly too big, too loud, too much, that has me slouching and shrinking and taking up less space and whispering timidly and the effect that those things have had on my life and career to this day.

And watching Brienne’s story, I saw how someone can endure the same things I did, and keep trying. Can keep struggling to succeed, and even fall in love. That was the most amazing thing of all, you see. This woman on television who looked like me, she was a love interest! She had her own romantic storyline! I could hardly believe it at first. I watched through my fingers trying to talk myself out of hoping. Because this never happens - an ugly woman, a masculine woman, is never desirable in fiction, never important enough to the story to be a love interest, and never worthy of romance. Yet here it was, it was happening right in front of my eyes.

Her love story with Jaime Lannister was a competely unique thing on television. An ugly woman with a beautiful man. A bond of deep respect and admiration, with undeniable sexual tension. Here were two people who can understand each other because they have both been hated for reasons beyond their control, who sought refuge in honor and knighthood and were loathed for it. Brienne understood how hatred can warp a person, make them someone they never meant to be, just the way she herself had been made to harden and close off to the world. She saw the person that Jaime might have been, if things had gone differently, and the man he could still become. Jaime for his part saw worth in her when everyone around him called her ridiculous, even though she was his enemy. He still knew that she was more deserving than any knight in Westeros, and believed in her when no one else in the world did. He gave her a sword and a quest and even a squire, lost his hand defending her, and he put his own life on the line to save hers.

Jaime openly adored her, looked at her like she was the most wonderful thing in the world, and I have never seen anything like that. A woman who looks like me, being looked at like that. Do you know what that felt like for me? Can you imagine it?

This story meant a lot to me, is what I’m saying. It was healing for me. I believed in that story, and I expected that even if there wouldn’t be a happy ending, at least there would be that respect for the character, and that she would be taken seriously by the narrative and her story would be completed in some fashion.

And then they aired Season 8.

In season 8 we learn that not only did the show never bother to adapt her storylines from the books, where she is slated to face Lady Stoneheart and the Brotherhood Without Banners, they gave her no story in replacement. She has no material impact on the storyline of the show, she simply doesn’t matter in any way. The only major storyline they kept from the books was her romance with Jaime Lannister, and in Season 8 they destroy that story in the cruelest possible way.

After emphasizing that Brienne is an adult virgin, they give her one scene with what we thought was her love interest, where they share one kiss. One. Onscreen within seconds of Brienne being naked Jaime looks dissatisfied and unhappy, and in the same episode, leaves her to go back to his traditionally beautiful ex. Leaves her crying and pleading with him to stay. And then her story ends, except for a brief bookend where she writes an entry in the White Book showing she still loved him, even though he abandoned and betrayed her in the worst way possible.

Right now I’d really like to know if anyone involved with this show ever gave a moment’s thought to what it would be like to watch that happen. After years of patiently waiting to get the love story we were promised for five seasons, instead, to humiliate and punish Brienne for daring to think she deserved love. Did anyone ever consider what that would feel like for women like me? If they did think about it, I hope they enjoyed the hurt they caused me, because the way this story played out felt outright malicious and hateful. They could have given me one tender moment, one declaration of love or affection, just to know what it would look like to see that onscreen for a woman like me. Instead they deliberately withheld that. And then went out of their way to invalidate absolutely everything about the storyline we had been watching, as if it had never happened, as if we had imagined it all, and been foolish to believe in it in the first place.

Yes, I know, it’s only a story, but stories matter. We wouldn’t put nearly the effort and investment into them that we do as a culture if they didn’t. My story has never mattered before, and it meant something to me over the last 8 years that someone was telling it. So was this ending intended as a deliberate slap in my face, or was that collateral damage that the show simply did not care about?

The messages sent by our media are sometimes unintentional, but they are usually given at least some consideration. So I wonder what sort of message was trying to be sent by giving the gender non-comforming woman who dared to open her heart an immediate rejection, and have her then swear to serve a celibate organization for the rest of her life? Giving up her inheritance, her island, her own sworn vows to Sansa, and everything else she cared about? Am I meant to regard this as a happy ending, I wonder? Her feelings and dreams don’t matter, but hey, she has a position in the small council, so Girl Power! Was there a single woman anywhere involved in this production who might have pointed out how awful this is?

I understand that what’s done is done and there’s no fixing this, and complaining about it is pointless. But what I really want, what I wish for, is for somebody to confirm that at least at some point this was a love story, and that for whatever reason, network interference or showrunner decision or whatever it was, it was changed at the last minute. Just tell me that at some point the intent was real. To know that would be helpful. Because right now I feel like a stupid chump for ever believing that anybody wanted a woman like me to have a love story, and you cannot imagine how much that hurts.

[mrduilalawoffice]

Attorney Mark Rosenfeld Talks About DUI’s and DWI’s

This was originally published on our website. To check out more of our content, visit [https://www.mrduila.com/attorney-mark-rosenfeld-talks-about-duis-and-dwis/]

Bert: Mark Rosenfeld has been defending Los Angeles drivers for over 17 years. Born and raised in Southern California, attorney Rosenfeld graduated from UB Santa Barbara and California Western School of Law. He has continued his legal training attending courses at Harvard, Exxon Labs, as well as studying with Jerry Spence, the Trial Lawyers College. Attorney Rosenfeld enjoys giving back to the legal community and continue to present and teach other attorneys throughout the state on driving related issues and trial skills, as well as serving as chair of the Criminal Law section of the Beverly Hills Bar Association.

Mark Rosenfeld, welcome to Money for Lunch.

Mark Rosenfeld: Thank you very much, Bert. Thank you very much. I’m glad to be here.

Bert: All right, so let’s get into this. DUIs and DWIs are basically the same thing, nowadays, right? It’s still driving under the influence versus driving while intoxicated, but they’re saying, you’re driving impaired. How common are DUIs and DWIs nowadays?

Mark Rosenfeld: Unfortunately it’s very common, and DWI or DUI, just depending on what jurisdiction, what state you’re in, is going to depend on what they call it. Basically it’s the same thing. If you’re impaired for purposes of driving, then you can get in a lot of trouble, and it happens pretty frequently. Probably about 1% of the drivers on the road end up getting arrested per year for driving under the influence of alcohol, or drugs, or a combination of both. That can be legal drugs or illegal drugs. It’s just anything that impairs the ability to drive.

Bert: Yeah, anything that impairs the ability to drive, and as you just pointed out, it doesn’t have to be legal or illegal, it’s just whatever is impairing your ability to drive. What’s interesting to me, Mark, and I want to get your thoughts on this, is that this does not affect anyone in the sense of, we see celebrities that get arrested for DUIs. We see the rich, the poor, the famous, and the infamous. It goes across all boundaries, right?

Mark Rosenfeld: That’s absolutely right, Bert. We see it across all different segments of society. The most prevalent is alcohol, but more and more, we’re getting more and more drug allegations in DUIs. You see all different segments of the population getting DUIs, people that don’t have licenses, people that do have licenses, 18 year olds, 80 year olds, across the board. It doesn’t discriminate on profession, or race, or gender, men, women, of all different ages and all different professions. I’m just as likely to be representing a school teacher as I am a professional athlete. It can, and it does, happen to anybody. It’s kind of the every person crime that can happen.

Get Help Now Bert: Sure, again, correct me if I’m wrong. There’s constant changes in the laws to make, for instance, DWIs are constantly revising what the legal limit for a blood alcohol is. I’m sure they’re revising the DUI statutes to make them, I guess, more stringent, is word maybe I’m looking for. Do you find that to be true?

Mark Rosenfeld: Absolutely, Bert. It’s fair enough to say, every year there are more and more laws on the books trying to prosecute people for driving under the influence, whether it’s broadening the scope of what it means to be impaired, or there is drilling down what the so-called per se limit is, the legal limit, or what the penalties are. Every year there’s new legislation that comes in adding classes, adding ignition interlock devices, expanding to include drugs, and combined influence. Many states, not many states but a few states, have gone to per se limits on marijuana, and those states that have recently legalized marijuana are soon to follow with specific levels of THC in the system that will result in an assumption presuming somebody is impaired.

Bert: Yeah, so the old presumption of innocent till proven guilty is, really doesn’t exist. If they pull you over, they’re just assuming you’re guilty, and you’re immediately in trouble right there.

Mark Rosenfeld: With driving under the influence, more so than with many other crimes, there is, in theory a presumption of innocence. But when someone is stopped under suspicion of driving under the influence, the entire event is watched by law enforcement officers, and they have a goal. They have a bias to stop and make arrests. Whether they result in convictions or not is a different story, but officers get credit, they get their statistics, they get awards, they get overtime pay. It’s very easy to see someone who may appear impaired and throw a label on that, that they’re drunk driving or driving under the influence of drugs and get caught in a very large net in a very big system.

Bert: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. You know what, it’s one of those things where unlike … If I’m drunk or impaired, and I’m stumbling around my house, I hurt myself, that’s on me. If I’m behind a vehicle that could damage property, kill people, it’s a different scenario. I think that’s one of the reasons that both politicians, as well as law enforcement people, are so, what do you call it, aware or heightened or concerned about who is behind the wheel and what kind of condition they’re in.

Mark Rosenfeld: Yeah, absolutely, and it is a very big concern. Like you say, if someone’s in their own house, or even if they’re walking on the street, and they’re impaired, they’re really not going to have an effect on anybody else’s life. But if they get behind the wheel of a car, then they can run that risk of hurting not only themselves, but other people. That’s really our worst nightmare is that somebody is impaired for purposes of driving and gets in an accident, and somebody is hurt or killed. We absolutely want to avoid that, but at the same time, we also want to avoid people who are not drunk of getting convicted of something that they didn’t do.

Over the years, over the decade, the term drunk driving has been falling away, in place for impaired driving, because they are stopping, and arresting, and convicting people, not of drunk driving, not what we would typically assume. We would expect to see where somebody is swerving, lane straddling, having trouble controlling the car. Then when they get pulled over, they stumble, have slurred speech, that type of thing.

They’re taking the limit down to the point where people are actually driving normally, they’re walking fine, they’re talking fine, and they have very low levels, relatively very low levels, of alcohol in their system and still get arrested, because many people, at a .08 are going to show some mental impairment. But many people don’t, and those people are driving okay, but they still get stopped and arrested for driving under the influence.

Get Help Now Bert: Yeah, sure, absolutely. All right, so let’s talk about this. You have a nickname of Mr. DUI in LA there, so I want to talk about winning a DUI or a DWI. How often is that a winnable case, because again, from my understanding, the police pull you over, they’re recording anything you say. In a lot of cases, they have a body cam, they’re recording how you behave and interact. There’s a dash cam that’s recording you. So the minute they pull you over, they’re recording you, they’re questioning you. And if they feel that you’re impaired, again I’m not really sure, you can walk me through the laws. I know that they can draw blood, and I think that as a citizen, you can refuse to have that, or you can refuse to blow, as well. So how winnable are these case? Talk about this.

Mark Rosenfeld: Bert, you would be surprised that there are very good defenses to driving under the influence cases. Like I said earlier, not everybody who’s been arrested is guilty of this charge. There is this bias out in the population that if you were driving, and you blew into a machine, or you did a blood test, then you’re done, and that’s just not the case. That’s something that people think because of the publicity that is put out there, the marketing and the advertising that is done by the government, by the National Highway Traffic and Safety Administration, by police departments, through grant funds, to present this image. They run commercials, they increase enforcement, and they want you to think that if you’re arrested, you’re guilty, and that’s not the case.

There are a lot of good defenses, and jurors will sit and listen when you take these cases to trial, and they will get educated, and they will learn that not everything the government is telling them is true. The jurors can sit and weigh what the right answer is in this particular case.

When we look at a DUI case, and we look at what is the likelihood of success, and what we’re going to win, there’s winning through jury trial, where you get not guilty verdicts. There’s also winning through settlements, through negotiation, if that’s what’s appropriate in the case.

There’s some very big defenses. There are legal defenses, there are legal strategies, using constitutional rights, state rights, to defend a DUI case. Law enforcement officers are supposed to play by the rules, and there are legal defenses in place to help people from the very beginning. The officers need reasonable suspicion to believe that someone has committed a crime before they ever make contact. Once they do make contact, the contact should be fairly limited to a very short period of time, and officers often will violate this law. They will delay, they will extend, detention to the point where it’s an illegal detention, where they keep somebody too long without probable cause.

There’s issues regarding unlawfulness of arrest that need to be looked at, and as you mentioned, when we get to a breath or a blood draw, citizens have rights as far as what they choose to do. The government is required to get a warrant if they want to draw blood. If some officers violate those rights, and they draw blood without a warrant, without an exception, blood test results can be suppressed. They can be thrown out.

If we’re talking about blood, the blood also needs to be drawn in a medically approved manner, and a lot of times that’s not done. Blood is drawn at police stations and jails, in conditions that are not medically approved and not sanitary, and resulting in injury, infection, and can cause problems for someone. When we see those situations come up, we’re often able to get blood suppressed or thrown out, which helps defend cases on legal grounds, just like the rules of evidence will prevent certain evidence from coming in, if it’s not trustworthy and reliable.

So legal defenses is one big field of defense. Another big defense are scientific defenses. The investigation that’s done by the officers is supposed to be scientific, done in a specific way. When field sobriety tests are administered, they’re standardized tests, which are supposed to be given to a person in a standardized fashion and scored in a standard way. If this isn’t done, it’s going to raise doubt as to the trustworthiness and reliability of the investigation, so that is always a big issue.

When we look at scientific defenses, there’s also common rising blood alcohol level. Alcohol levels in a person don’t stay constant. They change over time. When someone is driving, and they may have one blood alcohol level at the time of the test. A half hour later, or maybe even an hour later, their alcohol level has changed. It’s a moving target, which can create opportunities for defense. And there’s more.

Bert: You know what, and here’s the thing. You know this probably better than most people. Again, correct me if I’m wrong, it seems to me that law enforcement and prosecutors are very slow to admit any kind of, I don’t want to say wrongdoing, but they hate to admit that they don’t have a case, they hate to dismiss a case when they do. Am I right? It seems like, as you mentioned, they’ll delay, they’ll prolong, they’ll, what do you call it, ask for a continuance time and time again as they’re trying to build a case, versus just saying, “Hey, we don’t have a case right now,” and dismissing it. It seems like they hold onto stuff. Is my perception wrong?

Mark Rosenfeld: No, not at all, Bert. The prosecution and the prosecution team, which includes not only district attorneys and investigators, but also the police officers in the field, they are very aggressive in the way that they handle cases. It’s a very competitive business for them. Police officers want to make stops, they want to make arrests. Not only do they enjoy that work, but they keep tabs, they keep statistics on the number of stops, the number of arrests that they make, and they can not only make a lot of money in overtime, but work on promotions, and move up in ranks.

It’s no different when you get to the district attorney’s office. They keep track of the number of trials that they do, and they keep track of the number of wins, and if you want to get promoted in the district attorney’s office, you’re going to be trying cases, and you better be winning those cases. It doesn’t look good if you’re pleading all the cases out, and you’re cutting deals, or dismissing cases. The supervisors are going to be looking over the district attorney’s shoulders and wondering why they’re doing what they’re doing.

So cases can be reduced, they can be dismissed, but it’s going to take a good argument and good evidence to explain why that needs to be done. District attorneys and other prosecuting agencies will hold onto cases and will delay cases to get witnesses, find witnesses, and get the evidence that they think that they can, to prosecute a case.

Many times, you find this less likely, but it does happen, and it happens more than people think, but prosecutors will suppress evidence. It will be evidence that’s available that shows that someone may not be impaired, and that evidence never makes it to the defense attorney, and it never makes it to the jury, because it’s not helpful. We see that with the prosecution team as a whole.

You mentioned earlier about video, and the police officers are often required to videotape the entire enforcement contact, but when it gets to something that’s subjective and open to interpretation, like field sobriety tests, the officers, the suspect off camera. The camera’s pointed at the front of the car, and they take the person off to the side, and conduct this whole investigation where you can’t see what’s going on. And many times, for some reason, the microphones don’t work during that part of the investigation as well.

It’s amazing that there’s no record of any repairs or maintenance that needed to be done to the equipment, but off to the side people go. Officers say, well it’s for officer’s safety, it’s for the person’s safety, to make sure that they’re out of the street. Sometimes that’s true, and other times they’re in a well-marked parking lot at 2:00 in the morning, and no one else is around, and there’s no reason why the investigation couldn’t take place in front of a car where we could actually see what’s going on. So there is a competitive nature.

Get Help Now Bert: Sure, sure. Let me ask you this. Somebody gets pulled over. What do I have to comply with, whether I’m impaired or not, whether I think I’m impaired or not? Let’s say I get pulled over for a busted tail light, so they have probably cause to pull me over. And so Mark, specific to California, because that’s the area you work in, what do I have to give that officer? Do I have to talk to him at all? He asks me for my driver’s license and insurance, I can hand that over to him, but I don’t have to interact with him. Walk me through what should I do when I get pulled over?

Mark Rosenfeld: Sure, there’s what the law requires, and then there’s just in reality, what’s going to happen, and what you need to do practically speaking. In the field, when you’re driving, and you get stopped by an officer, the police officer really has unlimited discretion. They could let you go, they could keep you there, they’re very limited supervision.

If you get pulled over for an equipment violation, a broken tail light or something, the conversation should be very brief, polite. You should put all the windows down, keep your hands on the wheel. In real life, they’re not there as your friend to help you. They’re going to write you a ticket, or they’re not, and you should not answer any questions that an officer has about where you’re coming from, or where you’re going, have you had anything to drink. Really the best answer is to say, “I’ve got a friend who’s a lawyer, and he said really I shouldn’t talk to police officers. So here’s my driver’s license, here’s my registration and insurance,” and that’s about it.

The problem is that police officers don’t like that, and it may turn into a bigger investigation, so as little small talk as possible when you’re in the car. Definitely don’t tell someone that, don’t tell an officer, you’ve been drinking, because you’ve just given them a reason to get you out of the car. Don’t tell them that you have not been drinking if you have, because then you’re giving false information to a police officer, and possibly you could be charged with another crime. That’s when the answer of, “My lawyer told me not to talk to the police” is really the only answer you can give. By saying, “I don’t want to talk. My lawyer said not to talk,” that’s the answer.

It’s also important to keep in mind that if a police officer does ask you to get out of the car, the fireworks should be going off, and the flags should be going up. If the police officer’s asking you to get out of the car, things have gone wrong, and they are not going to be getting better. You’re not going to talk yourself out of something once they tell you to get out of the car. If they tell you to get out of the car, at that point, you really need to use your right to remain silent. You may end up going to jail that night. If they’re asking you to get out of the car, you’re probably going to jail anyways. If they ask you to get out, you have to stop talking.

You do not need to do, as long as you’re not on probation or parole, and you’re not under 21, you don’t need to do the field sobriety test. You don’t need to walk the line, touch your nose. None of that stuff is required, but if you are lawfully arrested for Department of Motor Vehicle purposes, you do need to submit to a chemical test, which is a breath or a blood test. It’s just safer to take the blood test. If you are going to be arrested, and the officer offers you breath or blood, just take the blood test. They’ll take you either to a nurse in the jail, or they usually will take you to a local hospital to have the blood drawn, and that’s going to be the best thing to do.

The more you walk and talk and do field sobriety tests, the more information you’re giving them. The whole contact, from the minute they walk up to the window, is a DUI investigation. When they ask you questions about whether you’re under a doctor’s care, they’re not doing that to help you. They’re doing that to build a case against you. So you do not have to do the field sobriety test or answer the questions, but you do, for DMV purposes, have to do a blood test after you’re arrested. I would recommend the blood.

Bert: Right, right. Mark, we’re out of time. Good stuff. I’d love to bring you back and talk more about our legal rights and what to do and don’t do. Again, I think this is a scenario where somebody like you who does it every day, you know exactly what to do and not to do. But for us individual citizens, most of us don’t know what our rights are. We don’t want to be rude, and especially if we feel we have nothing to hide, which is one of those big myths, if you have nothing to hide, you don’t need a lawyer, nothing’s going to go wrong. I’d love to bring you back and talk about that one myth, because that really hurts a lot of people.

Mark Rosenfeld, I want to thank you so much for stopping by.

Mark Rosenfeld: Thank you for having me on the show. It’s been great.

Bert: Alrighty, good stuff there from Mark Rosenfeld.

This was originally published on our website. To check out more of our content, visit [https://www.mrduila.com/attorney-mark-rosenfeld-talks-about-duis-and-dwis/]

[psychichideoutpeace]

My take on this foreign family’s  intercultural and interpersonal problems

It was 31st August, Well I clearly remember the date because that's my girlfriend's birthday. I was chatting with her in messenger and planning about our upcoming date night and It was a pretty intense situation. The TV was turned on as background noise, i wasn't watching it. Suddenly Tv has all my attention because I heard someone is saying “amra bideshider shathe aageo bhasha niye lorai korechi abong joyi hoyechi, amader itihash ache bideshi der shathe bhashar jonno llorai korbar, uni amar meye ke bangla shikhte dey na” 2 young daughter of his holding his arm from both side while he was briefing the press. Few moments later that news made it to online news platforms and I have seen people going crazy in support of a man named Imran Sharif, no wonder why ?

                                                Photo source : Google

Language itself in its raw form is not interesting, at least to me because I took it for granted. I have been using it since I started talking and no one stopped me from doing so. When I got to know at my early age that in 1952 people lost their lives in order to achieve the rights of speaking in our mother tongue, it straight away gave goosebumps and as I am writing this blog it's still the same feeling. So that's the strength and power of the “idea of our Bengali language” which can create larger spikes in all Bengalis' heart rate. So we are emotionally attached to this idea of our Bengali language and how this idea affects the behavior of people demonstrates real power. Now the question is why I am mentioning this ? because power yields people !  We have just seen cultural hegemony in action in the comment section of this news of Imran Sharif’s case. Let's look at what this case is all about and deconstruct it with the lens of cultural studies. 

                                                Photo source : Google 

Eriko Nakano US-Japan holding citizenship and Imran Sharif holding US-BD Citizenship tied the knot on July 11, 2008, according to the law of Japan. Eriko is a physician and Imran Sharif is an It engineer, and has his own It firm. So they both belong to superstructure. They used to live in Tokyo and the couple has been blessed with three daughters aged 11, 10, and seven. The kids were studying at a school in Tokyo. On January 18, Imran appealed for divorce but it was held in processing because he didn't attend the hearing and left Japan later. Upon asking why did he file divorce, Imran replied to the press that Eriko and her father booked an apartment which costs around 2.7 million USD and Imran had to pay the major part of installment of US$ 3,800 monthly, Eriko was paying 2000$. Imran was facing a hard time in his business and proposed Eriko to move to the USA so that he can do better with his skill there and earn more money. But Eriko was not willing to move to the USA. Eriko said, pay the installment fees as rent because he was staying in that apartment but Imran was not generating enough cash to pay out the taxing 3,800 $ US monthly and he was not willing to pay this much amount from his savings for the property in which he was not even a stakeholder. Eriko then asked her husband Imran Sharif to leave that apartment. She even sent three legal notices to leave the home because Imran stopped paying the installment. This sounds more like straight out oppression and unequal treatment but I have seen many people who actually wear the feminist's badge on social media, blaming Imran as he is not paying the installment and why would he ask Eriko to move to the USA if his IT career and business is not doing good in Japan. We know feminism, which became the buzz word of the internet in the 21st century, is actually about the oppression of women by men and feminist's stand for equal rights and treatment. There are feminists and then pseudo-feminists come along.

                                               Photo source : Google

Pseudo-feminism suggests that women deserve more respect, or people of other sexes do not deserve respect. Living in a culture where women face many challenges every day is the worst thing is that some people hurt the term feminism. On social media, hardly anyone knows about feminism and they end up being pseudo-feminist. Do pseudo-feminists really want equal treatment? No, they want to create a world governed only by women. Will a woman be getting away with any wrongdoing? Women on social media who identify themselves as feminists want equality and recognition for women they think to deserve it. They’re going to bash a woman if he’s their lesser wife or sister like a politician but they’re going to support a woman bashing that same political leader. Hypocrisy and pseudo-feminism get a melting pot here. 

Feminism is simply about freedom and is not about judgment. People who recognize feminism don’t wear the feminist badge. These are the people who want a good education for their daughter, and support their companion if she wants to be working in the field. Some women want to give their husbands food; some women want to take more care of their house and children than work. That is not making them slaves; it is up to them to decide what to do.

After analyzing the available information, It feels more like there are pseudo feminism or women supremacy present in Eriko’s actions which build up to some degree and lead to the current situation. I am not entirely blaming her for anything and I am not here to judge anyone. I am just writing my take on this. Do humans only value other humans when they have jobs, money, status and are capable of paying for mortgages ? What about someone suddenly losing their job ? Let's break it down even further. What if  men, husbands loses their job while wife is still working or earning more, will this make the man or husband lesser than who they are as human beings ? No right. Then why do the relationship and power dynamics takes a paradigm shift all of a sudden in these situations, I wonder why ? 

As Marks describes, capitalist society will inevitably experience conflict between its social classes. The owners and the workers will have different ideas about the division of the wealth generated, and the owners will ultimately make the decision. This constant conflict, or dialectical materialism, is what instigates change. Marks also describes that the only real social division is class. Divisions of race, ethnicity, gender, and religion are artificial, devised by the bourgeoisie to distract the proletariat from realizing their unity and rebelling against their oppressors. Here in this case we see race, gender, religion, ethnicity and also social class differences between the proletariat Eriko and Imran. 

In this case of Eriko and Imran, when Imran refused to pay for the mortgage of Eriko’s apartment, the relationship dynamic changed and Eriko wanted to evict Imran from the house.  

On January 21, Imran filed an appeal to the school authorities to take one of his daughters but they refused following the objection of Eriko. Later, Imran picked up the other two daughters from the school bus to a rented building on February 21 and returned to Bangladesh with them.

On May 31, a court in Tokyo handed over the custody of the two daughters to Eriko. On July 18, Eriko came to Bangladesh in search of the custody of her daughters leaving behind their six years old daughter in Japan. Despite her report being negative, Imran did not believe the report and refused to meet her children. On July 26, Eriko’s mobile connection was cut and he was given the opportunity to meet the girls blindfolded. On 19 August, Nakano Eriko,  filed a petition with the HC seeking its directives to return her two daughters Jasmine Malika,11, and Laila Lina, 10 from their Bangladeshi father Sharif Imran. The court then asked the authorities to present the two children before the court on August 31. It also asked Imran not to leave the country with his daughters for the next one month. At the directives of the court, Imran and Eriko, accompanied by their daughters, are living in a rented house in Gulshan 1 of Dhaka. The court will issue further directives over their dispute on 16 September. High court ordered them to stay under the same roof and suggested they figure out a mutual solution as these kids were staying in a victim support centre before. Lawyers were also suggesting the same. 

                                                  Photo : Google 

Now comes the interesting part, Why did Imran come to Bangladesh with his two daughters ? Eriko and Imran were married legally in Japan and there is a case going on about the legal custody in Japan’s court. Their daughters have Japanese citizenship. He was living in Japan and has US citizenship, so why Bangladesh ? Imran was saying in his press conferences that he won't get custody of the child in Japan’s court. Maybe to battle the ethnocentric advantage that Eriko had in Japan. But as these daughters are minors, In most cases the custody goes to mothers side. Maybe Imran made a calculated move that he will get the empathy of Bengali people as we have seen him saying to the press that Eriko takes these kids out whenever Imran tries to teach their daughters Bengali language. Bengali has a long history of fighting against foreigners for language. I found these statements of his, a bit over the top, dramatic and only to shape the public's point of view against Eriko. 

If we analyze the situation carefully, we can see, Imran is using tools like cultural hegemony to get advantage as he is communicating and reaching out to the mass people through press conferences, YouTube channels and interviews. Imran is exercising the power of language and culture more efficiently. He is forging his words carefully and deliberately to get the empathy of the mass people and Bangladesh is the only place where he can have leverage over Eriko in this case because he is now identifying himself as Bengali and wearing it as a vanguard to defend anything that coming against him. In a interview he said to a journalist that “ I am a Bengali like you are and I have the rights of a citizen in my country, only my passport is American that doesn't mean I am not Bengali” Imran is using identity politics to create positive public opinion about him. He is trying to portray Eriko as “other” and not as the mother of their daughter. Also he is trying to create a us versus them situation with these statements so that public sentiment remains on his side. People have already made lots of propaganda videos against Eriko on their own Imran Sharif didn't tell them to do so, Its cultural hegemony in action.    

On the other hand he has already sought Tk 50 million as compensation for revealing defamatory information about him from Eriko. Otherwise, he threatened to lodge a case against her over the matter. But we hardly have any detail explanation from Eriko’s side.

The future of three minor kids are now dependent on the dialogue and intent of their parents. The High Court on 16th September directed concerned lawyers to settle the custodial dispute between Bangladeshi father Imran Sharif and Japanese mother Nakano Eriko over their two daughters within 12 days and fixed September 28 for further hearing and delivering a final verdict on the matter but as of today there is no latest news available.

References :

High court sends 2 children of Japanese mother to support centre. (2021, August 23). Dhaka Tribune. https://www.dhakatribune.com/bangladesh/2021/08/23/hc-sends-two-children-to-a-support-centre-as-parents-fight-over-their-custody

Https://www.risingbd.com. (2147). CID rescues two daughters of that Japanese woman. Risingbd Online Bangla News Portal. https://www.risingbd.com/english/national/news/81810

Japanese mother files petition with HC to remove CCTV cameras from residence. (2021, September 6). The Business Standard. https://www.tbsnews.net/bangladesh/court/japanese-mother-files-petition-hc-remove-cctv-cameras-residence-298648

Japanese woman in HC for kids’ guardianship. (192021, August). New Age | The Most Popular Outspoken English Daily in Bangladesh. https://www.newagebd.net/article/146772/japanese-woman-in-hc-for-kids-guardianship

Japanese woman’s petition for daughters’ custody: HC asks father to present the children. (2021, August 19). The Daily Star. https://www.thedailystar.net/news/bangladesh/crime-justice/news/japanese-woman-comes-bangladesh-starts-legal-battle-custody-daughters-2155956

জাপানি দুই শিশুর বিষয়ে যে আদেশ দিলেন হাইকোর্ট | বাংলাদেশ. (1970, January 1). Somoy News. https://www.somoynews.tv/news/2021-08-31/

[terftouch]

My About. My name’s Tia. I’m 24 this August past as of 2017. I’m trans and I’m in transition. I’ve been officially doing so since I was 19. I’m pansexual. I’m in a relationship for three years now with Jonelle. She’s 25. She’s a cis-lesbian, not bi, not str8. And I will defend her and others like her saying that forever. So yes these relationships do work and do exist. And she started it. And she pretty much saved me from slowly dying of a life in utter loneliness and lonership. And I love her. I’m not into clothes, not into make-up. I’m mostly a sweat and tees and hoodies girl and own a few of the stereotypical things but I’m not into all the cutesy things. Short haired, heavy set, food safe semi-vegan (I’m not but totes respect the choices and food needs.) Ex-short order cook under the table, ex-server, berry picker, almond, olive and mushroom harvester and fish plant worker and about a hundred other things to make living cash to survive including sex work a few times. Currently a student starting my 3rd year of Women’s and Gender Studies with a minor in Sociology and I am looking to get into working with kids like me as from personal experience there’s just not enough people to do any of the work that we desperately need in the community. I’m working part time as a bartender in two places and I am a casual Ward aide worker at the hospital. Ex-drug user though never really went any heavier than weed, oil, acid and molly mushrooms and the few odd times. I’m a dyed in the wool Liberal/3rd Wave intersectional Feminist and a stanch supporter of Trans People and of The Equal Rights Movement. The LGBTQAIPD+ community means a lot to me. Anti-Terf, heavily Anti-Terf and for that matter most of the practices of Radfems and 2nd wavers. More on why later. I’m from rural Nova Scotia, Canada. And I mean that in the most redneck and coming out of racism and bigoted ways. I left home from abuse from being trans when I was 14 and it came from all sides of my family except my older brother who was largely not there in reality because of his one issues and them pushing him to cope with self-medication that became addiction. My hometown wasn’t much better. Really small and mixed religious but strongly religious. I took what things I could carry and went to my cousin’s place three miles away and soul him a lot of my things that he wanted and took the first train out and away to Toronto. I didn’t have a damned thing really just a few clothes and lived off of couch surfing from a few trans friendly folks but those places could only be temporary and after a pretty bad first year there including being homeless, assaulted a few times and an attempted rape to getting a sort of a share place in a really crappy sort of share house close to Brampton I left with two friends after someone in the share house didn’t take no for an answer and raped me. We took off in an old ford escort and headed for Vancouver. Actually that working and living sort of road trip was one of the best times in my life. Scary there’s a lot of things a lot of folks will try to pull of three girls but we made out okay actually. I learned some things though…. The prairies are as flat as a lot of people make them out to be. Regina is a nice city. Saskatoon berries are NOT blueberries. Flapper pie is only good when you’re either stoned or are chasing it with strong black tea or coffee. Churchill Falls has really nice people. Winnipeg is really hard to live in without a ride. I like and know how to make really good pierogi and there’s a silent h behind the r when you say it out west. Get groceries when you’re passing through anywhere out west. Wages are good even under the table and rent’s crazy high but there are things that are wicked cheaper like hamburger or cheese and milk sometimes than in Toronto or they were home. I like the mountains… We stayed in Bamf for three days taking a break and The Rockies were the first mountains that I’d ever seen. I lived in B.C. for two years mostly in and around Richmond and Vancouver except for an extended stint down unto the states with other friends and that was fine even though it was a sort of working thing under the table. I left B.C. because we lost our place because the landlord sold our building and we were plain and simply given the choice of a next to impossible lease or leave. Jen one of my best friends and I left and we made our way to her Aunt’s in Saguenay and stayed there a couple of months until we both got jobs in Montreal through other friends. And that’s when I ended up meeting Nat. My Ex. The Ex….Like that big one we all end up having. The literal worst thing that had ever happened to my life since leaving home. She was smart and she was really smart taking law and she was a feminist but not like I knew and I really knew damned little back then. And I fell hard….and I was so into her that I went full dive into radfem theory. I bought the whole thing hook line and sinker really. Privilege, socialization, GNC stuff and I was more than willing to take all of it and was even spouting all of it with her and her friends in her social circles both IRL as her “GNC Boyfriend” and that she was “showing me how to be free of the patriarchy.” And online with the groups we were both a part of, My friends list was her friends list and I argued gender abolition with the rest of them against trans folks that just didn’t “Get it.” And it was a good long while before I got it. And that was because of this person call Michelle like the French Michelle and they were a non-binary person and we were at a party held but some mutual folks and they argued tooth and nail about TERF ideology and gaslighting and all the things that I was doing, that Nat was doing. Which got me thinking, which had me friending Michelle on FB and us talking. And Nat finding out and demanding I unfriend her. Slapping me when I questioned why and went off on a rant about it being her place and her rules and my privilege. And I unfriended Michelle. And it really was too late at that point. Because I knew it…she had hit me because of having someone that she didn’t like on my phone, on my friends list. Oh yeah she went through my phone…al lot. Threw mason jars at me one night when I had changed my password. Yeah and it just went on from there. Until the night of our biggest fight that was again over nothing but her paranoia and her accusing me of using her. The trans hate just poured out of her that night with every glass of wine that she had and I went from drowning in her constant abuse to shouting back and standing up for myself and a screaming match, me getting hit twice, slapped once as I was trying to get out of our apartment and she raked my arm with her nails as she tried to pull me back inside I literally ran away from her. And with my phone and everything I was literally getting hate message after hate message from her and ALL of “Our friends.” Until the battery died on my phone. By the time the sun rolled around I was more than done…I hit that wall of just a short drop off an over pass that I hadn’t felt as bad in years and I took off and hitched to Toronto where I at least had people I knew. I was her make herself feel good project, her showing me off to her friends project. I was in that relationship and in the TERF community for way too fucking long and I know a boatload of them and seen all the shit that they pull. This is why I’m so strongly Anti-TERF. I didn’t stay too in Toronto, it’s a nice place if you want to visit and some folks are actually really great but me and that city well I really never could get a grip there. So after a while I moved to North Bay. And actually met my Uncle Robert. He’s actually my dad’s cousin but he sort of became a decent bit of stability for me and he knew folks down here in Sackville that’d help me and put me up as long as I helped out at their place. He was the one that got me thinking about getting myself on my feet. Because while not me and way older he did the same thing only in his day it was leaving school to work and leaving home to not get stuck in a crappy job you’ll die doing in a one horse little town. And now I’m here in New Brunswick, having gotten my GED and taking all the other classes I needed to get into actual college, I have an apartment in my name and I’m making the bills work and I have an address and a bed and things…just things and now black garbage bags full of what I could carry. I have an amazing girlfriend and a good community here with a great mix of international folks and I’m in one of the most queer friendly campuses in Canada. I’m lucky…and I know it, I was lucky enough to work for all of it, to have the chances, to get out of the abuse. And that’s why I’m blogging, that’s why I’m not letting TERF’s, TWERF’s, RADFEM’s and really all of those folks go unchallenged. I’m not attacking them I’m challenging their bullshit, I’m saying that there are people that don’t say the things they say and that there’s folks that won’t be quiet and let them. There’s a mix of other things in here too but yeah…it’s because people deserve to hear voices challenging people like TERF’s and other extremists.

[noctomania]

when i was first questioning my gender identity, i had a couple of battles. one was my long standing allegiance to feminism (i quickly learned it doesn’t disqualify me from being a feminist), another was the negative interactions i had had with trans men up to that point (there was i think all of 1 out of 4 or 5 i knew who wasn’t a jerk). Once i had resolved those two hurdles, I was left with “am I really?” probably one of the worst questions trans people have to deal with on our own because we know we aren’t the only ones who are going to ask that, but we’re likely the only ones who will ask us to our face. The rest will be sneaky subversive questions with ulterior motives to try and discredit or frame us as a lie. Furthermore as a threat even.

it does a number on one’s mental well being to constantly be doubted. for no other reason than they had doubts about something that solely has to do with you. Based on what? Their personal experience as a not at all trans person or even questioned? It’s hard to feel confidence in yourself when your foundations are already weak, the foundations that are usually built from community, representation, knowing you aren’t alone. Not everyone knows that. When you push and push on those people they will fall in on themselves, and it will be your fault.

“Am I really” isn’t so much asking what you are, it’s asking if other people will accept you. If people will understand what you do with your body, how you refer to yourself and want others to refer to you as, and whether or not these things change once or several times in your life don’t affect them nearly as much as some may think. At the point you ask yourself “am i really”, you already know your answer, you at that point only seek the approval of others. Not so much because you need it to reaffirm you, more so because you need their approval for your safety. It’s scary to be faced with this and knowing you’re going to have to defend yourself against people who haven’t even ever questioned their gender, much less experienced yours. The reason though that “am i really” scares me is because i’ve had others doubting me throughout my life, what gets me is when I am made to doubt myself. You have to realize “am i really” is taking a step back from confidence you were just in. It’s ok to doubt yourself sometimes, but don’t let others doubts of you be the only motive.

So when I was initially rethinking gender, which is essentially what I did to process my experience, I framed it around what had been in my mind all along. I let go of the stereotypes, the bullshit that was in the way, and just thought about myself. I most distinctly thought about when I am clothes shopping. I’ve most always been able to dress in boyish clothes thankfully, though I did have experience being forced into dresses and such. But I remember when I started actually shopping for myself in men’s clothing, the image i had of myself in my mind in the clothes never matched. It wasn’t until I actually allowed myself to question my gender, to let go of the constructed bullshit and transphobia, that I made the connection that this was why it never matched up. Mind you, before this, I had done some experimenting with clothes and styles and trying to “work with” my body. While it may have technically aesthetically worked, I was in constant discomfort. But when I finally stopped trying to be someone I wasn’t and really think about my experiences like why I was so excited to be mistaken for a boy or insistent as a kid in the tub that i had balls. It wasn’t that I was a bad feminist all this time, it’s that I’m a guy. I’ve just been told that because I have a vagina that I am a woman, but once I disassociated everything I realized none of that matters. I realized I had been torturing myself physically to maintain some level of denial. Not intentional denial. Just a resilient “us” and “them” mentality that had lasted even after interacting with trans people. Having spoken to trans women face to face and still somehow having that deep seated transphobia lingering.

I know how bigotry can linger. I know how it feels after getting over it, to look back and realize what was going through your mind at those times when not only should it have been a waking moment, it would have been basic decency to see the discordance between your thoughts and what you were experiencing and observing. This is the importance of getting out of your head and engaging in others. Recognizing what is real and what is constructed. What matters to you and what matters to others.

I’ll be honest, it’s a little scary looking back but not nearly as scary as imagining had I not grown or had those deep seated misconceptions been reinforced more. The real monster I might have become.

[idratherlivefreetofail]

Screenshots from THE TRUTH COMES OUT! | A Normal Lost Phone Part 2 (END).

Okay I already posted these screenshots last night but I was re-reading my caption for original post for it and honestly I didn’t like it. Even though it was well intentioned I felt like my thoughts were just all over the place and it did not do this game justice, I didn’t even spell Sam’s name correctly either. Plus I never fully talked about how the game made me feel personally it was more me talking about how I hate close minded people and I how I see LGBT+ people and how I think their identities and who they are is 100% valid and real. I’m re-writing this post and hopefully I can get the thoughts I want to say out there. 

I don’t identify as someone from the LGBT+ community. I know for sure that I am straight and a cisgendered woman. I have friends who are Bi and I have two sisters that are part of that group of people too. One is also bi and one is having a hard time really figuring out if they’re bi or pan. But for me myself I’ve never felt like I was anything different in terms of my sexuality and my gender and I’ve taken the time to really think about this too in recent years. I’m very confident about that part of myself now and I’ve learned so much more about who I am because I let myself explore my sexuality more but I know that I am in a very privileged position when it comes to my sexuality and gender identity. I’m able to explore that part of myself without having to face any form of hate or ridicule and I seriously wish that people who don’t identify as straight and cis were able have that too and it makes me sad and angry that they don’t. I know that I myself will never have to face the struggles that people in the LGBT+ community face in their lives. I’ll admit that when I was a teenager I was a little more open-minded then most people who had a similar upbringing to me and I felt like I wasn’t extremely judgmental towards other people but there was still parts of the LGBT+ community that I wasn’t fully accepting of because I didn’t understand it. But then thanks to the internet I was able to see more and more different kinds of people and was able to see more people talk about their struggles and what certain people go through when they don’t fit in what society considers “the norm.” So now I’m a completely different person and I see the world much more differently then I did when I was a teenager and I’m not only more comfortable in my own skin and with who I am. But I’m way more comfortable around other people people being who they truly are and who they want to be too. Now I’m 100% accepting of LGBT+ people and I’ll always try to defend the LGBT+ community when I can too because they 100% deserve to seen and treated like people because that’s what they are, they’re normal people. I try to see the best out of everything and everyone because I think every person has something beautiful about them and I think every person matters in this world simply because they exist. I see the world much differently and I see so much more beauty in everything now. Honestly this game completely blew my expectations out of the water and I’m 100% glad that it did. I’m seriously so incredibly happy that something like this exists and that this didn’t end on a “tragic” note either. I love that Samira escaped the world she knew wouldn’t accept her and wiped the slake clean for herself and I think that is an amazing note to end on for a game. Especially one where the main character is a bi-sexual trans woman. Transgendered people I feel get treated the worst out of the LGBT+ community. Not saying that other people in that don’t go through horrible struggles they absolutely do and I’m not trying to say that their struggles are nothing or erase them. But I personally feel like Trans people and people who don’t identify as either gender get the most negativity thrown at them and that really makes me sad and angry. So to have a game where it plays with your expectations and perceptions about not only of the main character's sexuality but their gender as well is incredibly amazing to me. People struggling with or figuring out their gender identity is not something I see be positivity represented in the media very often and that 100% needs to change. It’s a little more opened minded now and thanks to the internet more people feel like they have a safe place to talk about and think about that and it’s opening up much more conversations about that too. I remember when I was a kid seeing stuff on tv or in movies of LGBT+ people and especially transgenered people being treated like jokes, fetishes or in general people to never ever take serious, especially trans women. This is group of people that I feel needs much more positive representations in the media and I’m so incredibly happy that this game is one of those.  :) Honestly you guys... Even though I’m definitely in a much different circumstance then Samira was in this game I seriously wish that I had the strength to do what she did. :/ The environment I live in is extremely negative a lot of the time and it holds me back so badly and it’s extremely frustrating for me because I know that if I was in a more positive environment and with more encouraging people I would be able to move forward in my life. But because of circumstances and my severe anxiety and just how my brain works in general I can’t just leave or wipe the slate clean for myself like Samira did in this game. I can’t just drive off somewhere because I’m not able to support myself financially and for many other reasons too. Which probably sounds like a shitty excuse because she probably has to deal with much more then I ever will but still. I think what she did for herself was amazing and what she needed to do for herself and her life and I’m sure it wasn’t an easy thing for her to do. She’s very brave to do what she did at the end of this game and I wish I had that same courage and bravery.  If anyone reading this post identifies as LGBT+ I can’t even imagine going through the things and struggles you all go through. But please know that I think you’re strong, you’re feelings are valid, your identity and who you are is valid! You should never ever feel bad for being who you are and you should be allowed to be who you are, who you want to be and to be safe and comfortable in your own skin without being attacked over that! You deserve so much better then how you’re treated and seen by our society. If you’re feeling alone trust me there’s always some place to turn, there’s always someone out there that will listen to you and there’s people going through the same struggles you are. There will be people in your life eventually that will support ALL of who you are and not what they think you should be. I promise you that there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel even if it doesn’t feel like there is. Hang in there everyone because all of you are extremely strong and courageous people. Everyone matters in this world no matter who they are or where they come from or how they look or the kind of people they love. Everyone matters simply because we all exist. :) I do think the world is making more progress with that with every new generation and thanks to the internet I feel like more information and conversations are starting about how people are treated in society and how we seriously need to change our ways of looking at people. Not just with LGBT+ people but so many different kinds of people who struggle and are attacked for who they are too. I really do hope that the world gets there someday. I mean like Seán said at the end of this video there’s been so much progress that’s been made in the world and within humanity if you compare now to 200 years ago. Progress takes time, it doesn’t happen over night and it’s a constant battle. But progress wins overall in the end. It’s just unfortunately going to take time. You just got to keep hope that we’re all starting a change and leaving a mark that will effect how people think and feel in the next 200 years. Honestly guys I think this is one of my favorite games Seán’s ever played and this is definitely one of my favorite videos he’s ever made. This game is absolutely incredible and is just making me think so much about this topic and I’m glad that it is. I’m seriously so glad that this exists because it shows this side of life, a side of humanity in a respectable way. People are never just black or white, we’re all filled with so many different colors and spectrums that make us who we are and that’s absolutely incredible to me. :)

The last thing I want to do for this post is talk to Seán.

@therealjacksepticeye

Sean, you're a good person. I don’t care if you don’t agree with me when say that, you are a good person. I know that’s probably an extremely random thing for me to say and I promise you I’m not just saying this to blow smoke up your ass or to make you sound 10x greater then how you actually are. But this is seriously how I feel after watching this video. I seriously think this is one of the best games you’ve ever played and one of the best videos you’ve ever created. You showed so much empathy and understanding towards the people who are in the LGBT+ community and that’s incredibly heart warming to see from anyone. Even though you don’t go through the struggles that they do you’re very aware of that and acknowledge that you’re in a very privileged position and that you weren’t as open minded in the past compared to how you are now. But you still want to listen and try your best to understand LGBT+ people, their struggles and their identities. You treated all your LGBT+ viewers like they’re people and that their feelings are 100% valid and you wanted to give them hope that better days are coming for them and absolutely need that, they need to hear that and feel that from at least somebody in their lives. In my opinion the fact that you got so emotional all of sudden reading Samira’s diary at the end of the game I think says a lot of you and your empathy towards people too. I seriously and sincerely appreciate how honest and sincere you were throughout this video especially at the end. I don’t mind when you “thought vomit” in your videos because your thoughts and opinions can be very insightful, motivational and even inspiring too because you’re open minded. I agreed with every single one of your opinions and thoughts at the end of this, it makes me happy that you look at the world and people in a similar way that I do. Honestly both these videos you did of this game made me respect you even more the I already do. That’s all because you were just so genuine and honest about your thoughts and you handled the heavy topics that this game brought up in a very mature mature way. With this video and this game you and it have opened up discussions and conversations that need to be said and talked about much more often and I’m sure that you made a lot of people feel more hopeful about who they are and their situations. You empathized, you cared cared and you connected to your LGBT+ viewers too with this game and with this video. Plus honestly dude you constantly help me see a better and more hopeful perspective of humanity and life which makes me feel less dumb for trying to see the best out of everything and everyone. You constantly try to be the best person that you know that you can be and that’s the biggest reason I say and believe that you’re a good person.  Sincerely and honestly, thank you for playing this game Sean. :) -Vannessa

[garp19-alexgorcik]

Quotes from “On Being a Feminist in Games Studies” re-upload

“The difficulties were more about not being a hard-core gamer. Really, to stay in the industry you needed to be a gamer who loved games more than anything else. More than having friends and relationships and, basically, a life.”

 “During crunch times ahead of milestones, people were working 80þ hours a week.”

 “But the ethos of “manning up” and working really long hours at the expense of any other priority in life is also one that permeates the industry in ways that make it hard for anyone with parenting duties, relationship interests, and so on, to participate fully in the industry.”

 “Issues of labor conditions in the games industry and their gendered implications continue to the present day (see de Peuter & Dyer-Witheford, 2005, for an early depiction of conditions).”

 “But it was clear that the structures and ethos of production were quite masculinized."

 “The pathways into gaming are social––we often learn to game, are introduced to games, and find our way into competence, through our social connections (Taylor, 2008). We sit in front of the console with our friends and play together. We learn together and spend many hours gaining expertise.”

 “Scholars in games studies have tried to counter the myth of the socially isolated and inadequate “gamer identity,” arguing for the sociability of games.”

 “Social context is a big part of games and gameplay. Which makes it difficult for someone like me, who has friends my own age and older, who are queer women with feminist politics, who look at the games available to them and say “I don’t want to waste my time on that stuff––it’s violent, sexist and horrible” and then refuse to play with me.”

 “Inclusivity is a constant project. Exclusions don’t just “happen” in games or in games studies research, just as they didn’t just “happen” in the furniture-making industry. They are the product of active behavior on the part of those in power. If we want to have an inclusive society, culture, subculture, medium, or academic discipline, we have to work at it by pushing through the barriers of exclusionary behavior ourselves, or making sure we are not part of the snarling pack defending its territory from the “threatening other.”

 “In games, we still have the princesses and hyper-sexualized characters, but there are more games with women characters I can bear to look at, and play as. And online there are spaces in games where I don’t feel vilified and hated. But there are also persistent spheres of misogyny and hate that work to exclude me and other women. Just as in the offline world.”

 “If you identify as a hard-core gamer, maybe you wonder whether I should be entitled to write about games because I am a casual gamer, or a middle-aged lesbian, or really, more a media studies researcher than games studies. But does policing the boundaries of who is entitled to identify as gamer, or write and research about games, make the discipline of games studies stronger? What do we lose by such policing and what do we gain? More broadly, in games cultures, the boundary policing of gamergate embodies some of the drawbacks that can ensue.”

 “Culturally however, digital games negotiate a constant struggle for legitimacy, derived in part from the way that games are not seen as serious. They are still seen as marginal-to mainstream culture, as are the people who play them. Yet, they can be seriously tied to the cultural production of values and norms, just as other forms of media can. It is this very position on the edge––of the mainstream media, but also of serious/not serious––that is used as a rhetorical tool of some of the worst outbreaks of misogyny and hate speech we have seen in recent times.”

 “Eglash (2002) points to the ways in which geek masculinities are racialized, with African- American men cast as an opposition to the geek through tropes and stereotypes that align African American men with physicality and White men with more intellectual pursuits. That geeks and the bearers of other nerdy styles of masculinity have been the recipients of bullying behaviors from other men and sometimes women is observable, although with the rise of the importance and valorization of the high-tech industries, the geek male is less on the outer than he used to be.”

 “Gamergaters characterize themselves as out siders, maligned and misread, trying to protect the safe spaces they occupy in games from the invasion of diverse “others.” This strategic foregrounding of the marginalized characteristics of games and geek masculinities neatly elides or obscures the much more central and powerful positions these men occupy through their race and gender positions in culture more broadly.”

 “The stereotypes of gamers perpetuate the idea of marginal geek masculinities, and at the same time virtually obliterate women and anyone else from the category of gamer. In this, they are aligned with the gamergaters.”

 “the context of games cultures rather than broader cultures, we can see that hard-core gamers are at the center––and this group is generally young, White, heterosexual, and male.”

 “The marginalized geek gamer of the broader culture here occupies the center. The games industry perpetuates this centrality of the hard core. It also perpetuates the centrality of the Triple A titles as the most important games. Triple A titles tend to be the most risk-averse titles, while the indie games and mobile and casual markets exist on the margins.”

 “But the industry, perhaps because they view the hard core as central to their profit margins, is slow to change.”

 “Consalvo (2012) points out that publishers perpetuate the idea of the Triple A titles as the ones that matter through discourses which suggest that casual games are feminized.”

 “In other words, “real games” are the hard core Triple A variety and they are also the masculinized games (Vanderhoef, 2013). Vanderhoef also suggests that feminized casual games are perceived as an active threat to the hegemonic White male hard core. This concatenation of identity, content, and capital is potent.”

 “I want to touch on in this consideration of shifting margins and centers is games studies. As a discipline carving out a space for itself, it exists on the margins of the more established disciplinary areas. It maps onto the Humanities and Arts, but also exists in relationship to the IT, Computing Sciences and Design disciplines.”

 “Wasn’t the whole ludology/narratology debate of a decade ago about trying to create a meaningful and formal distinction between games and literary texts, and therefore methodologies?”

 “Although the Triple A titles were the predominating form of games in the earlier years of games studies, it is notice able that there were gaps in games studies around some very popular genres––sports games, children’s games, early casual games, games that didn’t reflect the researchers’ own interests, and have left gaps, some of which persist.”

 “Chess and Shaw (2015) point out that the initial academic event that captured the attention of gamergaters was a “fishbowl” session designed to attract more of the game studies scholars into the discussion on diversity. They felt the need to do this because of the ways in which “diversity” was being hived off into a marginalized strand of the field rather than incorporated into the key concerns and rhetoric of the field.”

 “As J. Sunde´n (personal communication, October 21, 2016) has commented “separatism is not primarily (or even secondarily) about exclusion, it is not about those who are not there, but about gaining strength collectively as a subordinate group”.”

 “In terms of gamer cultures and groups set up to support women and gay or lesbian players, Richard notes that “ . . . counter-communities within subcultures offer unique affordances for pushing boundaries and rebelling against hierarchy, and they allow members to form and foster skills, confidence, and networks that begin to level the playing field” (Richard, 2017, p. 173).”

 “The vestiges of marginality still permeate the sensibilities of at least some of the gamergaters. The ways in which gamergaters have constructed and us against- the-world mentality that is manifested through a kind of besieged and defensive reaction to critique”

 “While not trying to defend gamergater actions, we can see where the rhetoric of marginality might have arisen from. This does not make it acceptable. Clearly the kind of misogynist rage we witness in gamergate and other events like the PAX dickwolves, or the trash talk on Xbox live, comes from men wielding power that emanates from a privileged central position.”

 “The reality is that making more diverse games will not cause the current range of games so beloved by the gamer gaters to disappear. It is not a zero-sum game. “Having multiple game cultures does not inherently displace others. . . . Multiple communities can exist without taking away from one another” (Shaw, 2017, pp. 159–160).”

 “The impacts of these enraged attacks on women and on feminists and on women and/or feminist academics are clearly to chill speech (see Chess & Shaw, 2015, p.22; Ruberg & Shaw, 2017, p. xxi). If you think you may be subjected to campaigns involving doxing, hacking, and public humiliation, you think very carefully about whether you are going to say anything. The very same people who perpetrate these acts will argue they have a right to their hate speech as free speech. This “all rights, no obligations” approach ignores the limits to free speech that have always existed, and the ways in which hate speech curtails the ability of others to speak.”

 “It aligns with the cyber-libertarianism of the much broader cultures of geek masculinities. The culture of hate speech and hate mobs in cyberspace is heavily gendered and needs to be understood as such––it is not an accident (Citron, 2014). It draws from the structural power that men gain from their position at the center of a patriarchal culture. It functions to exclude women, queers, anyone else who games but is not part of the hard-core male center.”

 ” For as long as the industry understands this to be their core market, it will continue to validate the values being expounded by the hard core. This tacit acceptance of misogyny is not confined to games publishers. Shaw (2014, p. 275) suggests that “Misogyny, racism, homophobia, etc., were not invented by the internet, but they are enabled by technology and the cultural norms of internet communication in which this behavior is supported, defended, and even valued”.”

 “This is borne out in Massanari’s (2015) study of Reddit moderation, and the ways in which controversial posts drive up ad revenue. Sarkeesian (2017), in a talk at 2017 VidCon, also pointed to the ways in which the misogynist men who harass her constantly make money from their harassment. Fox and Tang’s (2016) study on sexual harassment in games shows that, as with more conventional organizations, if management is seen to act to close down harassment, then women will stay, but if they are perceived to either condone, or only pay lip service to censuring harassers, then women will often choose to exit rather than endure. The ability of games publishers to create change in this space is clear, and their unwillingness to do so on occasion can be attributed to either a supportiveness of the culture, or a perception that it is more profitable to allow it than not, or both.”

 “The games industry is diminished as a result. For as long as it remains risk averse, conservative, sexist, and complicit in cultures of racism and homophobia, it will remain marginal to other media cultures. It misses the opportunities to explore the complexities and nuances available––the rich possibilities of games to be so much more than they currently are. It puts a brake on innovation. But the impacts of the practices of gamergaters and the industry’s complicity in them are much broader than that. The exclusion and silencing of all but the few hard-core gamers, and the hate attacks, and execrable behavior toward all who are seen as “other” have a terrible impact on those people.”

 “Now, 30 years later, with the gamergate hate crowd, I did think twice about whether I wanted to write about identity and margins. Having witnessed the harassment of some of our colleagues, I really don’t want that going on in my life. Even though the gamergate crowd might be relatively marginal, they can have a strong chilling effect on speech. Again, there is a self-censoring process that is related to safety as Sunde´n also writes about in her research (see Sunde´n & Sveningsson, 2012, p. 149). However I also understand that if no one stands alongside those women who have been targeted nothing will change.”

  “We need to take these ideas seriously. As game designers, working out the ways that the affordances of games can minimize the game becoming a conduit for misogyny and sexist, racist, homophobic cultures. As publishers, the perception that the misogyny of the hard core is more profitable than the reduction of harms to the nonhard-core needs to give way to understanding that in the long term publishers are about culture as well as money and need to be alive to their responsibilities to cultural diversity. As players, users, and spectators of games, we also need to not be bystanders when the hard core exerts their power. And as games studies scholars, we need to maintain the current path toward inclusivity as a norm and be alert to the gaps and silences in the field.”

[inkognito97]

Fem!Obi-Wan AU

@ po-prostu-fangirl

Here is your second part!^^

Part 1 can be found here

When Qui-Gon Jinn had taken on a female Padawan all those years ago, he had mentally prepared himself for all kinds of things. Explaining to her the concept of sex, the functions of her body and the differences to his own, as well as the every prominent puberty and boy topic. Force, he had even asked Tahl – that had been the most embarrassing days of his life – for advice. In the end, it had not done him much good. One, his Padawan had already been educated and prepared for everything. Two, Obi-Wan had NEVER been anything like it was written in the books, she had never been especially bad tempered during her teenage years and Qui-Gon had never really had problems with her. Three, all his reading and all the private sessions he had with Tahl, had NOT prepared him for the case of his Padawan getting pregnant, ever, especially not by the Force. The last was what the Council in addition to the healers had come up with as an explanation. Granted, it was as good an explanation as any. But Qui-Gon still refused to believe that his dear girl was indeed the carrier of the so called Chosen One. He refused, he wouldn’t allow Obi-Wan to be treated this way, he would not.

 “Master?” a small voice brought him out of his half drowsy state.

“Mmh, what is it Obi-Wan?” he replied sleepily.

He heard the shuffling of her bare feet on the carpet of his bedroom, a clear sign of her nervousness. “Can I stay with you tonight?” She asked this most nights now, every since she had begun to show. He didn’t mind though, as long as his poor Padawan was happy. Also, he guessed that the need for contact was some kind of craving on her part.

“Of course, princess,” this was his newest nickname for her. Perhaps it were the awakened father feelings that he had developed for her, ever since the news of her pregnancy had come out. Or perhaps it was just the Force prodding him to watch more closely over her.

He scurried to the side of his bed and listened to the silent footsteps on his carpet. The long haired Jedi Master felt the mattress next to him shift and a second later, a warm body pressed against his. He instinctively turned and wrapped his arms around her form. It seemed to calm her.

A moment of silence passed between the two Jedi. Qui-Gon was almost on the edge of falling asleep again, when his Padawan spoke up. Her voice was barely above a whisper, but he could still make out every word, she spoke.

“I'm an annoying burden, am I?” the female said, disturbing the silence. “What? Why are you saying this, little one?” Where in the name of the Force had that thought come from? “Because I am not acting like a Jedi… with my need of constant attention,” a pause, “I am never going to be a Knight.” He could feel the slight tremor in her shoulders, followed by a sniff and silent sobs. Qui-Gon sighed inwardly. The constant changes of emotions were getting to him too. “Sshhh, there is no need for that, because you are a strong and brave and beautiful woman. Do you know why I know this?” Obi-Wan shook her head and sniffed. She slightly tilted her head to look over her shoulder. He sent her an encouraging and loving smile. “I know this to be true, because otherwise the Force would not have entrusted you with this child. You are something very special and you are very dear to me.” A watery smile appeared on the Padawan's features and the Master mentally exhaled in relief. He was never good with dealing with distraught people, especially women. “Beautiful?” she asked shyly. “You have the brightest presence in the Force, you posses a pure heart and I honestly dread the day that I find myself unable to defend you against all the masses of admirers,” he chuckled at the last part. “I wonder, if you will still say that in seven months,” she trailed off. “I'm sure I will. I KNOW I will.” A comfortable silence settled between the two when the young Padawan suddenly took his hand and guided it to her swollen stomach. Qui-Gon, who had no idea what this was all about, remained silent, even when his hand made contact with warm skin. “Can you feel it?” she asked. He hummed and concentrated for a moment, waiting for something to happen. Nothing did. She laughed, “No, with the Force.” “Ah,” he hid his embarrassment. Then Qui-Gon reached out with the Force and he sent a tiny wave through his Padawan's stomach. The Master was surprised at the small bright echo he received. “Force sensitive before it has a gender,” she whispered.  “It's incredible,” Obi-Wan was not quite sure, if her Master had even heard her, too focused was he on the life growing inside of her. It didn't bother her though, his joy and awe resonated in the Force and her mood became better as well. He truly was a Master of the Living Force, it was natural for him to be at awe at the development of new life.

She closed her eyes, intending to go back to sleep, but not before saying, “You are going to be an awesome grandfather, I can feel it.”

She didn’t get to know if he was shocked or humbled by her words, because the next instant, her exhaustion had already claimed her and she fell into a peaceful slumber, this time, not disturbed by nightmares.

Obi-Wan was glad when she spotted her friends upon entering the crowded dining hall. She briefly nodded at her Master, before going to them and seating herself at the table they had claimed. As soon as she sat, a tablet full of food was shoved her way.

“There you are Obi, we were wondering if something had happened,” Bant greeted her ginger haired friend. The female Mon-Calamari and Obi-Wan were best friends since the first day they met in crèche.

“Yeah,” Garen was also one of Obi-Wan’s closest friends, “You weren’t in morning classes.”

“I had an appointment with the healers,” answered the ginger haired Padawan around a mouth full of salad.

“With your Master?” Siri Tachi, a blonde human Padawan asked. She was sitting across from Obi-Wan and right between Garen and Reeft, the latter was very busy with eating everything that he could get his hands on.

“Yes,” she replied hesitantly after swallowing her bite. Siri’s tone did not bode well with her.

Obi-Wan’s friends exchanged glances and a silent conversation was held between them. For a moment, the pregnant Padawan felt like she was left out on something.

“Obi,” the tone in Siri’s voice made it clear that she did not actually wanted to talk about whatever was coming next. Siri took a deep breath, “You know you can talk with us about EVERYTHING, don’t you?”

“Of course I do,” she had no idea where this was going.

“Obi, the truth is,” Bant hesitated, “we are worrying, because you so often have to visit the healers. Also, you don’t join our partying anymore and we haven’t seen you sparring and training for a while now. We are worried that… that your Master might be involved somehow.”

Horror overcame the ginger haired Jedi. “How can you say that?” she was scandalized. Her Master loved her, if he didn’t, he would have thrown her away by now. They were talking about the man, who was giving up his freedom – something he craved and something that was deeply anchored in his very nature – to be there for her.

“Well,” this time it was Garen, “You have to admit that it IS kind of suspicious.”

She vehemently shook her head, not believing her friends could think so little of Qui-Gon. “No, you’ve got it all wrong. My Master is not responsible, not at all. He is helping me.”

“But you admit that there IS something wrong,” Obi-Wan silently cursed the blonde female sitting across from her.

Obi-Wan suddenly felt uncomfortable, but a gentle and questioning nudge over the bond she shared with her Master, reassured and comforted her in an odd way. She calmed down again and sent him a quick smile over her shoulder. He nodded and returned the smile, before turning back to his conversation. When she turned back to her friends, she found four pairs of eyes resting on her, Reeft’s included.

“Please Obi, you have to tell us, what is wrong,” begged Bant.

Obi-Wan escaped a suffering sigh. She had asked Qui-Gon, if she should reveal her pregnancy to her friends. Her Master had told her that only the truth will build up a friendship, while lies will break it. She knew what to do, she just wished it wasn’t so hard.

“There is nothing wrong per say, it’s just…” her friends were all looking at her with curiosity and great expectations, almost as if she would reveal that she was going to die soon. “well, I am… pregnant,” she shrugged helplessly.

A moment nothing happened, the table’s occupants were completely silent. Then, all hell broke loose. “What?” Bant exclaimed, her eyes were wide like plates.

“You’ve got to be joking,” was Siri’s opinion.

Garen was the worst, “Wait wait wait, are you actually telling me that YOU of all people had unprotected sex?”

“Garen!” both Siri and Bant exclaimed, the former even hit his arm, hard.

Obi-Wan was sure that her face had to be completely red from embarrassment and she wished that they were somewhere else and not in the crowded dining all, even though no one was really paying their table any attention.

“What?” Garen asked in confusion, “It was just a question.”

“Matter of fact,” Obi-Wan cut in, before it could turn into a full argument, “I didn’t.” She received three pairs of incredulous eyes for that, the one pair that was not looking at her, belonged to Reeft, who was staring intently at his meal.

“You DO know that it is not possible what you are just saying,” Siri asked hesitantly. “I thought so too,” her face turned an even darker shade of red, “the healers say the child was conceived by the Force.” She desperately wanted to run away right now, this was all getting too much.

It looked as if her friends wanted to say more, but what happened next, stopped them. Reeft had suddenly just stood up. He had taken Obi-Wan’s empty plate and replaced it with his own. It startled all four of them. Reeft was usually the one, who asked if his friends were going to eat everything on their plates. Giving away his own meal on his own free will nevertheless, was a miracle.

“Reeft?” Obi-Wan asked.

He had seated himself again, “You need to eat, you will need it.” Tears were forming in the ginger haired female’s eyes. It was great to be cared for and it was great that Reeft just accepted her condition, just like this.

“Thank you Reeft,” from the look in his eyes, he knew that she meant much more than just the food. “But I am not hungry.”

“Are you sure?” he sounded skeptic.

“Yes,” she laughed.

“Alright,” he shrugged and took his plate again, instantly digging into the food on it. Obi-Wan’s laughter was joined by her other friends.

“Congratulations then,” Bant said, “but… won’t it interfere with your training?”

Obi-Wan was about to answer, but she felt an all too familiar Force presence behind her. A moment later to large hands came to rest in her shoulder and she felt her Master against her back.

“Is everything alright?” the Master’s deep voice asked.

“Yes Master,” she leaned against him, thanks to the bench she was sitting on, it was possible in the first place. Qui-Gon allowed it with a gentle smile. Obi-Wan turned back to her friends, “I will talk to you later,” she vowed.

Only when she had received nods from her four comrades, did the pregnant female stand up. She followed her slightly overprotective – it caused a warm feeling to emerge in her chest – Master out and back to their quarters. She may not be able to run through her usual workouts, but that didn’t stop her to learn other aspects of the Force. The Living Force was quite interesting too, if you understood it and Qui-Gon was a patient teacher. Also, reading on the caretaking and birthing of children, could be considered study on the Living Force as well.

[fallopian-toob]

Tygerofaera

A Liberal Trans woman's opinions & interests.My About. My name’s Tia. I’m 23 this August past as of 2016. I’m trans and I’m in transition. I’ve been officially doing so since I was 19. I’m pansexual. I’m in a relationship for three years now with Jonelle. She’s 25. She’s a cis-lesbian, not bi, not str8. And I will defend her and others like her saying that forever. So yes these relationships do work and do exist. And she started it. And she pretty much saved me from slowly dying of a life in utter loneliness and lonership. And I love her. I’m not into clothes, not into make-up. I’m mostly a sweat and tees and hoodies girl and own a few of the stereotypical things but I’m not into all the cutesy things. Short haired, heavy set, food safe semi-vegan (I’m not but totes respect the choices and food needs.) Ex-short order cook under the table, ex-server, berry picker, almond, olive and mushroom harvester and fish plant worker and about a hundred other things to make living cash to survive including sex work a few times. Currently a student starting my 3rd year of Women’s and Gender Studies with a minor in Sociology and I am looking to get into working with kids like me as from personal experience there’s just not enough people to do any of the work that we desperately need in the community. I’m working part time as a bartender in two places and I am a casual Ward aide worker at the hospital. Ex-drug user though never really went any heavier than weed, oil, acid and molly mushrooms and the few odd times. I’m a dyed in the wool Liberal/3rd Wave intersectional Feminist and a stanch supporter of Trans People and of The Equal Rights Movement. The LGBTQAIPD+ community means a lot to me. Anti-Terf, heavily Anti-Terf and for that matter most of the practices of Radfems and 2nd wavers. More on why later. I’m from rural Nova Scotia, Canada. And I mean that in the most redneck and coming out of racism and bigoted ways. I left home from abuse from being trans when I was 14 and it came from all sides of my family except my older brother who was largely not there in reality because of his one issues and them pushing him to cope with self-medication that became addiction. My hometown wasn’t much better. Really small and mixed religious but strongly religious. I took what things I could carry and went to my cousin’s place three miles away and soul him a lot of my things that he wanted and took the first train out and away to Toronto. I didn’t have a damned thing really just a few clothes and lived off of couch surfing from a few trans friendly folks but those places could only be temporary and after a pretty bad first year there including being homeless, assaulted a few times and an attempted rape to getting a sort of a share place in a really crappy sort of share house close to Brampton I left with two friends after someone in the share house didn’t take no for an answer and raped me. We took off in an old ford escort and headed for Vancouver. Actually that working and living sort of road trip was one of the best times in my life. Scary there’s a lot of things a lot of folks will try to pull of three girls but we made out okay actually. I learned some things though…. The prairies are as flat as a lot of people make them out to be. Regina is a nice city. Saskatoon berries are NOT blueberries. Flapper pie is only good when you’re either stoned or are chasing it with strong black tea or coffee. Churchill Falls has really nice people. Winnipeg is really hard to live in without a ride. I like and know how to make really good pierogi and there’s a silent h behind the r when you say it out west. Get groceries when you’re passing through anywhere out west. Wages are good even under the table and rent’s crazy high but there are things that are wicked cheaper like hamburger or cheese and milk sometimes than in Toronto or they were home. I like the mountains… We stayed in Bamf for three days taking a break and The Rockies were the first mountains that I’d ever seen. I lived in B.C. for two years mostly in and around Richmond and Vancouver except for an extended stint down unto the states with other friends and that was fine even though it was a sort of working thing under the table. I left B.C. because we lost our place because the landlord sold our building and we were plain and simply given the choice of a next to impossible lease or leave. Jen one of my best friends and I left and we made our way to her Aunt’s in Saguenay and stayed there a couple of months until we both got jobs in Montreal through other friends. And that’s when I ended up meeting Nat. My Ex. The Ex….Like that big one we all end up having. The literal worst thing that had ever happened to my life since leaving home. She was smart and she was really smart taking law and she was a feminist but not like I knew and I really knew damned little back then. And I fell hard….and I was so into her that I went full dive into radfem theory. I bought the whole thing hook line and sinker really. Privilege, socialization, GNC stuff and I was more than willing to take all of it and was even spouting all of it with her and her friends in her social circles both IRL as her “GNC Boyfriend” and that she was “showing me how to be free of the patriarchy.” And online with the groups we were both a part of, My friends list was her friends list and I argued gender abolition with the rest of them against trans folks that just didn’t “Get it.” And it was a good long while before I got it. And that was because of this person call Michelle like the French Michelle and they were a non-binary person and we were at a party held but some mutual folks and they argued tooth and nail about TERF ideology and gaslighting and all the things that I was doing, that Nat was doing. Which got me thinking, which had me friending Michelle on FB and us talking. And Nat finding out and demanding I unfriend her. Slapping me when I questioned why and went off on a rant about it being her place and her rules and my privilege. And I unfriended Michelle. And it really was too late at that point. Because I knew it…she had hit me because of having someone that she didn’t like on my phone, on my friends list. Oh yeah she went through my phone…al lot. Threw mason jars at me one night when I had changed my password. Yeah and it just went on from there. Until the night of our biggest fight that was again over nothing but her paranoia and her accusing me of using her. The trans hate just poured out of her that night with every glass of wine that she had and I went from drowning in her constant abuse to shouting back and standing up for myself and a screaming match, me getting hit twice, slapped once as I was trying to get out of our apartment and she raked my arm with her nails as she tried to pull me back inside I literally ran away from her. And with my phone and everything I was literally getting hate message after hate message from her and ALL of “Our friends.” Until the battery died on my phone. By the time the sun rolled around I was more than done…I hit that wall of just a short drop off an over pass that I hadn’t felt as bad in years and I took off and hitched to Toronto where I at least had people I knew. I was her make herself feel good project, her showing me off to her friends project. I was in that relationship and in the TERF community for way too fucking long and I know a boatload of them and seen all the shit that they pull. This is why I’m so strongly Anti-TERF. I didn’t stay too in Toronto, it’s a nice place if you want to visit and some folks are actually really great but me and that city well I really never could get a grip there. So after a while I moved to North Bay. And actually met my Uncle Robert. He’s actually my dad’s cousin but he sort of became a decent bit of stability for me and he knew folks down here in Sackville that’d help me and put me up as long as I helped out at their place. He was the one that got me thinking about getting myself on my feet. Because while not me and way older he did the same thing only in his day it was leaving school to work and leaving home to not get stuck in a crappy job you’ll die doing in a one horse little town. And now I’m here in New Brunswick, having gotten my GED and taking all the other classes I needed to get into actual college, I have an apartment in my name and I’m making the bills work and I have an address and a bed and things…just things and now black garbage bags full of what I could carry. I have an amazing girlfriend and a good community here with a great mix of international folks and I’m in one of the most queer friendly campuses in Canada. I’m lucky…and I know it, I was lucky enough to work for all of it, to have the chances, to get out of the abuse. And that’s why I’m blogging, that’s why I’m not letting TERF’s, TWERF’s, RADFEM’s and really all of those folks go unchallenged. I’m not attacking them I’m challenging their bullshit, I’m saying that there are people that don’t say the things they say and that there’s folks that won’t be quiet and let them. There’s a mix of other things in here too but yeah…it’s because people deserve to hear voices challenging people like TERF’s and other extremists.

[ask-lightning-n-dusk-blog]

Unsure about doing this... here goes

I have announced on this blog before that I am an MRA, well yes, that does mean at times I will pause to talk about issues relevant to that. That being said, here is a warning that the following will contain mature subject matter. Only read if you can handle adult discussions.

This is my own experiences with sexual harassment.

 Over the last several months something has been called to my attention, an aggressive series of social justice movements seeking to divide people based solely on born traits or otherwise superficial identifications. One of the most dangerous trends I’ve seen is the concept of trying to say who can and cannot suffer in certain ways, for instance saying only women, transsexuals or other sexual “minority” groups can experience sexual harassment or at least their suffering is more important because they are “marginalized”. To be clear, if you are the victim of genuine harassment, rape, sexual or violent assault, murder, discrimination-anything like that- your suffering is real and understand there is no circumstance that makes it less important. We should not be governing ourselves by who we can forget, the children starving in Russia do not need our help more than those starving in the US. Each person has to decide who they will help for themselves, but do not mistaken such choices for evaluations of who is or is not important. The suffering of a white man is no less important than the suffering of a black woman. When you help someone, you really do need to be mature and realize your choice should not be based on who is or is not important, but rather what your heart leads you to do.

So here goes, my sexual harassment experiences, yes plural… they all kinda blur together over the course of a five year period. You see, about ten years ago now, I joined the army. I was told me being a virgin would be a problem, but I never understood to what degree until I entered. Outside the army some people would ask questions and maybe be a little rude trying to guess the size of my penis, but never anything I couldn’t handle… it was just seriously awkward is all. (There were a few times when the teasing got out of hand to the point of me running and crying from bullies who thought it was funny to constantly badger me about sexual concepts and positions when I was in the sixth grade for some reason, but my parents eventually homeschooled me so that stopped all together.)

(A warning, anyone even thinking of finding out who was in my units and going after them let me be clear- you try and I find out, I will ruin you. Those guys could be mean, but a damn lot of them would have willingly laid down their lives for me so screw the hell off. Maybe that’s why I sometimes hesitate to bring this up, because I know some jerk will always try to say something nasty about soldiers using this as evidence. This is not something against the army. The army has problems and this centers on one of them, but the people in there can be good people. Reform it by all means, but don’t try to hurt the people in it.)

The army was a different story though. One of the major issues with sexual harassment in the army is the frequent imposition of not being allowed to leave certain areas coupled with group punishment. This means if someone thinks it’s funny to constantly ask questions about your genitals you cannot demand he or she leave, nor can you leave yourself. Demanding they knock it off and trying to get them in trouble usually causes just as much trouble for you, if not more. If a woman, knowing you’re a virgin, begins to insist that you are therefore a pedophile, and you rightfully snap at her, you are punished right along with her and the rest of your unit. The idea is that this should create cohesion by making the unit suffer together. What it really does is silence victims because other members of the unit see it as easier to silence them, than address a trouble maker. This means, like me, many people in the army and similar services are subject to nigh and sometimes actual daily sexual harassment or other forms of harassment (people with mental handicaps have it far worse generally BTW) with little to nothing they can do about it.

It’s hard to say what was the worst of it either. Maybe it was AIT where I was constantly told I needed to compare my penis size to other men, which of course I never did nor did they want me to do, I was just an easy target because I was a virgin and they could use the “curiosity” excuse to get away from being called the dreaded “gay”. (Ironically this was a problem word even among those who were staunchly anti-homophobia.) Maybe when I turned people down to visit bars with them and constantly had to defend myself against accusations that I was either hiding the fact that I was a pedophile or fantasized about rape. Maybe it was because at times I subjected others to the same treatment because it was the only way I was ever able to be relieved from it myself (not excusing that, I never should have given in, but I did). Maybe it was experiencing the same harassment from women as men, when feminists and most of society had always taught me this was a “gendered” issue. Maybe it was my loss of innocence regarding women entirely when I slowly found out that women treated each other and other men exactly the same and only men could ever be expected to get in real trouble and only if they were harassing women. Maybe the worst was when a homosexual man grabbed me in public, rubbed his genitals on me and when I threw him off me, I was shouted down by him and my peers for “homophobia”. Maybe it was the constant need to explain to even the more rational people that no, there is no connection between penis size and virginity, nor worse yet, pedophilia, rape, serial killers or other forms of violent crime- why would there fucking be, how did that line of questioning even make sense to them anyway?!!-. Guess they thought they were “just making sure”.

Go ahead folks, tell me, which is the worst sounding of all that? Some of it was near daily, some weekly, some of it got better over time, some got worse and to tell the truth it was all so frequent it all blurred together. (To be fair the gay guy was a one time experience, though as you can imagine it stuck out.) It was worst when I first went in and didn’t know it was coming. Over time I did learn to redirect conversations and how to make people just as uncomfortable discussing my sexuality as I was. (A favorite trick of mine was to question the insecurities that must obviously be present in someone so afraid of virgins.) Maybe the worst of it was knowing no one else really had it much better and no one who wanted a solution had any idea what it would be.

I suppose I should address something that happened as a result of all this. If I were to trace the origin of this, it probably was experiences like this- but I suppose it’s possible I’m just self-diagnosing-. For whatever reason, I have lost all interest in being sexually active, even in a marriage relationship. I suppose that makes me part of a legit minority group officially recognized by a social justice group- a-sexuals… no. I refuse to play that game. You can care about me because I was human and hurt, I will not let you pretend I’m “one of you” so you can continue to neglect concern about my brothers. (Make no mistake, all men are your brothers and all women your sisters.) To LGBT, I remember how you guys acted years ago before you started adding letters. Virgins, by choice or by biology were pariahs to you guys. I have no problem with gay or trans people themselves, but advocacy groups associated with them... I was your enemy ten years ago because I didn’t want to have sex before marriage, and five years ago because I said I wasn’t interested in having sex. Now suddenly you speak for me because you wanted to add a vowel to your dumb acronym? No, you don’t get that privilege. I’m not a-sexual, I’m a virgin. It was mostly people on the political left even in the army who attacked me for my sexual choices. The left gave me the label “virgin” and refused to let me forget it, now I won’t let them forget it. I’m taking that label to my grave.

If anyone feels the desire to apologize to me who didn’t do anything to me, don’t you dare. That’s nothing more than virtue signaling. The only reason to apologize for something you personally were never involved in, is to be seen by others as being sorry, it’s profanity in my book. I hold no grudge against random gay people because one molested me, nor do I hate the sexually active because so many people of that persuasion couldn’t leave me the freak alone. If you feel sorry for me, just say that, but know that I’m fine and moving on, but don’t you dare try to legitimately apologize for something someone else did.

Do I feel like a victim? Objectively myself and many others at the time were, but now, not really. It was years ago and there’s no reason for me to demand anything now, just recognition that my problems were real and therefore, the problems of other men are too. I’m not demanding justice, nor apologies, I’m just asking people to finally realize equality means equality. My suffering is the same as yours, whether I’m part of your group or not. I guess that’s another reason I refuse to identify as an a-sexual, I refuse to give the social justice movement that kind of an out. No, I’m not an a-sexual that you can now pretend to care about when before you thought I was scum of the earth because I was a white male virgin. You either care about me as a human being regardless of my identity or you can get lost.

               So yea, that’s my story and my feelings. Do with them what you will.

[thewebofslime]

October 9, 2019 (LifeSiteNews) – Back in June, Matt Walsh of the Daily Wire wrote a savage column titled “Now the Left is Normalizing Pedophilia Right in Front of Our Eyes.” The growing phenomenon of so-called “drag kids,” he pointed out, is normalizing the sexualization of children, with “the ‘drag kid’ who posed with a naked man, and the ‘drag kid’ who danced at a gay bar while men tossed money at him” being two of many prominent examples. Most recently, one of the drag queens at Drag Queen Story Hour performed a stripping dance for children. Yeah, you read that right. Walsh, of course, received immediate pushback, with some progressives even accusing conservatives who had the gall to condemn this public grooming of being the weird ones. There’s nothing sexual about this at all, they lied, and thus anyone who sees something sexual about stripper dances, posing with naked adults, and gyrating in outfits modeled after sexually provocative adult clothing is the one who should be ashamed for even thinking that this is inappropriate. It doesn’t matter how obviously grotesque the displays get—progressives will defend them. They’re all in, and they’re betting the kids. It gets worse. Two days ago, I spotted a tweet from renowned radical feminist Julie Bindel, who has recently found herself a constant target of transgender activists for her refusal to cede the word “woman” to biological men (Bindel has not only received threats of physical violence, but trans activists—biological men—have swarmed her recent events). Bindel had posted an article titled “Desmond is truly amazing—and hot!” with the comment, “Here is the founder of the Paedophile Information Exchange Tom O’Carroll (who I interviewed 4 years ago—he made my blood run cold) celebrating child drag acts.” Desmond, for those of you who don’t recall, is an 11-year-old child drag queen, and his performances are all the rage in the LGBT community at the moment. Tom O’Carroll is a British pro-pedophilia advocate, who was convicted and imprisoned for distribution of child pornography as well as multiple sexual offenses against children. His 1980 book Paedophilia: The Radical Case argues that adult-child sexual relationships should be normalized, and describes his own sexual experiences with children. Pedophilia, O’Carroll says (and he has had support from GLBT pioneers like Richard Green), is an orientation like gay or straight, and thus there are no moral grounds for preventing people like him from finding sexual fulfillment. “I am not interested in why I am a paedophile,” he wrote, “any more than others are interested in why they are ‘normal.’” I’m not going to link to his disgusting blog, but here is how O’Carroll—who, again, has been advocating for the normalization of child-adult sexual relationships for decades—sees the drag kid phenomenon: Let’s face it, when a pretty young boy tells the world he is gay and dances sensuously in front of grown men, wearing vampish dresses and makeup; when “she” strips off items of clothing or goes on stage scantily clad right from the off; when dollar bills are accepted as “tips” from an audience apparently wild with excitement; when all this is going on we are getting far more than just a celebration of gender diversity or an innocent display of precocious performance talent. And that’s great. It is wonderful that a rare niche has been found in the modern, developed world within which at least a few kids can truly be themselves, in ways that deny neither their gender feelings nor their sexuality. Being a drag queen, or a drag princess if you will, puts it right out there, in the open for all to see. It says, loud and proud, “I am a sexy kid, with sexy feelings. It’s totally cool for grown-ups to get turned on by me. I love it. That’s why I do this stuff. It’s great. It’s fun. It’s me!” Panicky conservatives, needless to say, spin it differently, desperate as they are to pretend that kids have no erotic dimension, or at least none that is self-generated. In their telling, performances such as Desmond’s and those of fellow artists such as “Queen Lactacia” (Nemis Quinn Mélançon-Golden) are a travesty in the worst sense: these are kids, they claim, who are being “sexualised” by exploitative adults hell bent on corrupting their supposed natural innocence. It isn’t just conservatives who recognize these drag performances for what they are. Chillingly, pedophilia advocates do as well. In fact, O’Carroll goes so far as to call out those denying the sexual nature of these performances and points out why he believes they are doing so: So why all the denial? Why the coy insistence that kids’ drag performance has nothing to do with their sexuality? Hypocrisy, basically. For decades now, gay politics has revolved around respectability, and that has meant aping hetero-normativity: gay couples with committed relationships, marriage, and parenthood, have become the promoted model; the old, carefree “promiscuity” of the gay life is frowned upon (if still a reality for many) and any cross-generational sexual contact with youth is now far more taboo than it ever was in the “bad old days” when homosexuality was a discretely practised underground phenomenon. Hypocrisy is detestable for its dishonesty; but on the other hand it works. Politically, it makes sense. Denial of the sexual element in kids’ drag performances has recently resulted in them being perceived as on the “respectable” side of the gender revolution, despite all the excitable right-wing huffing and puffing. While It cannot have been much fun for the Napoles family to be subjected to official investigation for child abuse, it is now becoming clear that they have gained a measure of support from the authorities. O’Carroll’s comments don’t need much analysis. Yes, he mocks conservatives—but that’s because he thinks we’re backwards, oppressive prudes who want to shut down events with the potential of assisting him in pushing his cause to the mainstream. In fact, he is giddy that thus far, polite society appears to be willing to let Desmond’s parents get away with enabling their son in this awful fashion. He defiantly agrees with what Matt Walsh wrote in his column a couple of months ago—but says that this is a good thing. Walsh is right. Pedophilia is being normalized right in front of us—and that is being celebrated by activists who believe that this is a step in the right direction. Jonathon’s new podcast, The Van Maren Show, is dedicated to telling the stories of the pro-life and pro-family movement. In his latest episode, he interviews Fr. Frank Pavone, the National Director of Priests for Life, the largest pro-life ministry in the Catholic Church. Van Maren speaks with Fr. Pavone about his experiences as a pro-life priest and leader. Fr. Pavone shares how his dedication to the pro-life movement began in high-school and continued while he was in seminary. After he was ordained a priest, he preached about abortion almost every weekend from the pulpit, leading to a profound impact on his parish. You can subscribe here and listen to the episode below: