#and be her carbon copy in looks after .... what??? 40 years???

[uniiiquehecrt]

As much as I do like MLP Season 9 and find it to be a good send off for the show, Cellys retirement bugs me a bit. Like she just got up one day and was all "hey Twi sis and I will be retiring next year! It's all yours now! Kthanksbye!" Like I love ya Tia but couldn't you give Twi a heads up? Poor mare was having a heart attack.

I THINK ABOUT THIS A COMPLETELY NORMAL AMOUNT FRIEND YEAH (i mean... i have you know that but STILL)

I have various ... opinions ... and general thoughts about Celestia and her relationship with Twilight. and while ultimately I think they have a precious sort of mentor/teacher relationship, it's also something that is WILDLY imbalanced. With that power imbalance only really being touched on in season 8, episode 7: "Horse Play". I think there's another one that specifically touches a bit more on Twilight's rose colored glasses of her mentor... but I can't entirely recall which one. Just that, after Twilight's ascension, it DEFINITELY came up more and more frequently.

Unfortunately the show never got to have that 10th season they could have had to round everything out, including wrapping up Twilight's particular arc of overcoming her inferiority complex in comparison to Princess Celestia. I'm not really sure what the reasoning behind mismanaging the episode times like that was exactly, but in the very least they'd ended FiM in a way that was otherwise perfectly sound and appealing to gen 4's audience. (You know, before gen 5 production team decided to bastardize it not even a year out...)

Also, Twilight deserves a different design than a recolor of Celestia's puppet rig. :')

[sequinsmile-x]

In a Sky Full of Stars, I Think I See You

She could live like this, in their quiet, ordinary lives, sitting snuggled with him on this porch swing with their children asleep nearby for 100 years and it would never be enough. 

Emily reflects on her life with Aaron.

-x-

Hi friends,

I sat down at my laptop after work today because I wanted to write, but I had no idea what I wanted to write. This is what came out of that...I hope you like it!

Please let me know what you think <3

-x-

Words: 2k

Warnings: None

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

When they bought this house, she’d fallen in love with the porch. 

It was one of her favourite parts of their home, the place where she loved to sit as often as she could, the busy world slowing down around her as she settled into the peace she’d only ever found at home. She’d sit here most nights for a little while once the kids were all in bed, settled and safe and warm as they slept, their house a place of safety for all of them. 

It had become a tradition of sorts ever since she was pregnant with Violet. She’d felt drawn to the porch swing in a way she couldn’t explain, sitting there most nights as she enjoyed the peace, her hand pressed against her belly as she felt her baby move. Aaron would find her out here even on the coldest evenings, staring at the sunset or the stars in the sky. He’d bring her hot chocolate and wrap a blanket around the two of them, keeping her warm as she told him about constellations. 

She’d sat out here when Violet was a newborn, the little girl wrapped up warm and snuggled against her chest as she whispered how much she loved her against her soft, dark hair. She’d done the same thing when Benjamin came along, and she’d still bring him out here some nights now, the movement of the swing soothing the six-month-old to sleep when all else failed. 

She hears the door behind her open and she smiles when she turns to see her husband standing there, the baby monitor in his hands as he walks back over to the swing. 

“Is he okay?” She asks unwrapping the blanket from around her shoulders so he could sneak back in underneath it, his arms pulling her closer on instinct, something she knows he doesn’t even have to think about. 

“He’s fine,” he says, kissing her forehead as he settles back down next to her, “He looked pissed it was me who went to check on him,” he adds, smiling against her skin, “But he fell back to sleep pretty quickly.” 

She hums and rests her head on his shoulder, “He definitely got your frown,” she says, tilting her head to look at him, “Violet too.” 

He smiles at her, “Well, given they are both carbon copies of you I’m glad they got something from me.” 

She leans up to kiss him, his lips warm and soft against hers before she pulls back, “Speaking of Violet, she got her fingers trapped in the swing earlier,” she says, blowing out a breath at the memory of how the three-year-old had screamed out, how she’d been inconsolable until Emily kissed her fingers better and wrapped Spiderman bandaids around them even though her skin wasn’t broken. 

“I’ll put some wood in the frame to keep it still,” he says, frowning at the thought of his daughter being hurt, “I guess we can’t be too careful when our kids are as adventurous as they are.” 

She chuckles and nods, “That’s true. We’ll be screwed when Benny starts walking.” 

It was strange to think how much her life had changed in such a relatively short period of time. In just over five years she’d gone from being in Paris, alone and afraid Ian would pop out of any shadow, to being here with a family. It felt like a lifetime had passed and yet no time at all, and now she couldn’t imagine her life without Aaron and the children. Most of the time she was grateful that she’d found what she once told herself she’d never have, but sometimes,  it made her sad she’d only found this type of happiness so late in her life. That 40 years had passed before she got the happy ending she never thought she’d get to have 

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” 

She looks up at him, unaware that she’d drifted off into silence, and she smiles softly at the concern on his face. He loved her in a way she would have once told herself wasn’t real, the stuff of books she’d read when she was younger, and she loved him in the same way. She could live like this, in their quiet, ordinary lives, sitting snuggled with him on this porch swing with their children asleep nearby for 100 years and it would never be enough. 

“Do you ever wish we hadn’t wasted so much time?” She asks, not even aware she was going to ask it until she has, “I think about it sometimes,” she says, smiling sadly, “What would have happened if we’d got together earlier.” 

It was no secret they’d both been in love with each other for years before they got together. It seemed obvious now looking back on it. How desperate she’d been to find him after Foyet had attacked him, how she’d looked after him afterwards and helped him settle Jack back into his father’s home, a life without his mother. Aaron had been the same - showing his love in other ways when he had no idea what name to give how he felt about her. He’d yelled at an Attorney General for her when she was in danger, he’d called The Vatican for her. Clyde had told her that Aaron had threatened him if anything ever happened to her, a confession he made at their wedding, a glint in his eye as he got as serious as he ever did when he told her he was happy for her. 

She loved their life but she’d always want more of it, always be desperate for more time with him and their kids. 

He sucks in a breath as he considers what she’s said. He couldn’t say he’d never thought the same thing. That he’d never looked at her as she danced around the kitchen with the kids, Violet dancing on Jack’s feet as Benjamin sat on Emily’s hip, and wished he could have more of this. It made him feel greedy sometimes, that what he had would never be enough, but he knew it was normal. He knows even if he’d kissed Emily the first time he thought about it, the ink on his divorce papers barely dry, the extra few years wouldn’t have been all he needed or wanted.

“Yes,” he says honestly, tucking some hair behind her ear before he runs his knuckles down her jaw, “I do think about it sometimes,” he smiles softly as he cups her neck, “But I like to think everything worked out exactly like it should have.”

She scrunches her nose up at him, “You don’t believe in fate.” 

“No,” he chuckles, “No I don’t. We both went through a lot and fought for what we have now. I believe in us not fate,” he says, and she blushes, his endless affection for her always enough to warm her from the inside out, “I had all the trouble with Foyet, and then Ian came back. Who knows what would have happened if we’d been together then?” 

She hums softly as she thinks about it. She looked back and wishes she could have been there for Aaron as his partner when Haley died, that she could have pulled up the weeds of guilt and self-loathing that had planted deep in his gut when he had no one around to tell him it wasn’t his fault. The flowers of it had been left to bloom for so long that even now she had to remind him he wasn’t to blame, something she’d remind him for as long as she needed to.

On the other hand, she’s grateful he and Jack hadn’t been hers when Ian was after her. They would have been in even more danger than they already had been, easy pawns in Ian’s game as he tore her life to pieces. She thinks she would have actually died for them, her grave as real as her love for them, and then she wouldn’t have what she had now. She wouldn’t have them, or Violet and Benjamin or the house. She would just be a memory to them, not a wife and a mother. 

“I guess you’re right,” she says, smiling at him as she rests her head back on his shoulder, “I don’t think I’ll ever stop wishing for more time with you.” 

He pulls her impossibly closer, his arms tight around her as she ends up in his lap, “I’ll never stop wishing for more time with you either.” 

They both frown as the door to the porch opens and they turn to see Violet standing there, her favourite teddy hanging from her hand and her hair a mess. 

“Mama? Daddy” Violet says, her eyes bleary, “I had a bad dream.” 

“Oh, Vi,” Emily sighs sympathetically and opens her arms up, making room in between her and Aaron for the little girl, “Come over here, sweet girl, it’s cold and you aren’t wearing anything on your feet.” 

Violet runs the short distance across the porch and climbs into Emily’s lap, snuggling against both of her parents the moment she’s wrapped up in the blanket with them. Aaron makes sure he’s got a decent hold on his girls and frowns, thinking of the stairgates they have inside. 

“How did you get downstairs princess?” He asks gently tugging at one of her now loose braids to get her attention. 

She shrugs at him, “I opened the gates.” 

His eyes widen and he looks at Emily over their daughter's head and mouths at her so Violet doesn’t hear, “She’s all you.” 

Emily sticks her tongue out at him and then turns her attention back to Violet, “Do want to tell us about your bad dream?” She asks, and Violet shakes her head, pressing her forehead into Emily’s neck, “What do you want, honey?” She asks and Violet shrugs, her tiny fingers fiddling with Emily’s necklace, tangling in the fine chain. 

“Mommy was about to tell me about the stars,” he says, nodding towards the sky, and Emily raises an eyebrow at him and he winks at her. 

Violet looks up at her, wonder shining in her eyes, “Talk about stars, Mama.” 

Emily sighs and shakes her head at them both before she turns to look at the sky, “Okay, well you can’t always see a whole lot in the city because of all the lights,” she says, smiling as she feels Violet settle back against her. She scans the night sky for a few moments before she sees her favourite constellation, faint but just about visible, and she points at it, “That one over there is Hercules.” 

“Like the cartoon,” Violet says, settling deeper into her side, clearly already sleepy now she is warm and in the safety of her parent's embrace.

“Yes, baby,” Emily replies, sharing a smile with her husband briefly, “Like the cartoon. It represents strength and courage,” she can practically feel Aaron’s stare burning into her skin, can feel how he holds her a little closer, but she keeps looking ahead, sure if she made eye contact with him she’d get emotional. Driven to it by the conversation they’d had and the beauty of being able to sit here with her husband and daughter and look at the stars together, “I used to look at it when I lived in Paris before I had you.” 

Aaron holds her closer, knowing that comment, the veiled history behind it, was for him, not their little girl. He looks down and sees Violet is asleep, her eyes closed and her cheek squished against Emily’s chest. 

“She’s asleep.” 

Emily tilts her head to look down at her daughter and chuckles lightly, “I’ll never fail to be amazed by her ability to just fall asleep like that,” she says, smiling at him, “If only she’d done it when she was newborn.”

Aaron laughs and leans in to kiss her, careful not to disturb Violet and risk waking her back up. When he pulls back he runs his thumb back and forth over Emily’s cheek, “Want to stay out here for a little while?” 

She nods and rests her head on his shoulder, adjusting her hold on Violet, “Yeah, let's stay out here.” 

-x-

Tag List:

@ssa-sparks, @ptrckjcne, @lyds102, @glockleveledatyourcrotch, @hotchnissenthusiast, @danadeservesadrink, @ssamorganhotchner, @emilyprentissisgod, @notagentprentiss, @freesiasandfics, @emilyshotchniss, @thecharmingart, @paulitalblond, @hancydrewfan, @camille093, @whitecrossgirl, @moonlight-2-6, @rawr-jess, @florenceremingtonthethird, @jareauswife, @ms-black-a, @beebeelank, @aubreyprc, @zipzapboingg, @psychopath-at-heart, @criminalmindsgonewrong, @fionaloover, @kinqslcys, @prentissinred, @ccmattis-22, @denvivale317, @thrindis, @hotchsguccitie, @cmfouatslota77, @alexblakegf, @aliensaurusrex, @prentissxhotch, @emobabeyy, @victoiregranger, @stormyweatherth, @wanderingdreamer009, @ssablackbird, @luhwithah, @lex13cm, @prentiss-theorem, @dont-emily-me, @mrs-ssa-hotch, @jocyycreation, @itsmytimetoodream, @hotchnissgroupie, @controversialpooh, @capsshinyshield, @canuck-eh

Join my tag list here!

[kmp78]

No, Jared. Just no.

I really want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but it's so hard to justify why he'd even be hanging out with teenage Lolitas in his 40s...

I want to say that maybe he thought bike rides and trips to the carnival were innocent enough. That nothing more than a hug happened behind closed doors in those first few years. That he didn't intend for Val to be a "serious gf" by 20 and that's the reason for all the distance in their photos or why he looks upset to be papped.

I want to say a piece of him knew that it was weird even after she was legal for them to do what they were doing. But then I remember how much of a slut he was then and how easy it must've been with her and why would he want to start over after so much energy had been spent on her?

I wholeheartedly believe that's why in those last couple of years she got to meet momma and was allowed to touch his arm in public. I think she had grown up some and wanted more and he didn't want to have to start from scratch with someone else so he threw her some bones. Must still not have been enough, but probably kept her strung along another year or two.

There were so many team Val towards the end and when we met GTGT; "we" were all okay with her relationship with JL in her mid-20s, fully knowing their origin story then. But I just can't look back at things and give him that benefit. He has chosen women (I use that term veeerrry loosely) so much younger all these years and you pair that with all the old bus stories of young girls being alone with the guys and---

Indeed... 🤔

When it's one young chick here or there, fine. No biggie.

But when it's one (always Russian) young chick one after the other year after year and they're all basically carbon copies of each other...

It just makes you go hmmmm. 🤔

[hvneybxns]

(—) ★ spotted!! BLAIR ELLIOT-HILTON on the cover of this week’s most recent tabloid! many say that the 44 year old looks like NATHALIE KELLEY but i don’t really see it. while the HEIRESS/CURRENT CASTMEMBER OF THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS is known for being BRASH my inside sources say that they have a tendency to be FRIVOLOUS i swear, every time i think of them, i hear the song AREA CODES by KALII {she + her / cis female}

great-grand daughter to conrad nicholson hilton, blair hilton herself was born into more wealth than she would ever know what the do with. butler, suites for bedrooms, she was adorned on from the moment she opened her big wide eyes screaming at the top of her lungs - her first moments in the world only cementing how dramatic blair intended to be. she was in private schools to ivy league without much effort on her part, the natural blonde doing all she could to live up to the stereotypes that came with her hair colour.

blair was known for being wild, partying and using all the money she had access too. when her daddy was sick of her, she became the problem of her first and to do date, only real husband who was a member of the board for the hilton chain and the only man blair can claim to have ever loved.

unfortunately for them both, blair didn't love him as much as she loved her partying and wild ways and after ten years together, tom called it quits on their marriage and sent blair back home to daddy at 30 years old. finally deciding to make blair 'work' for a living she was given Hilton Worldwide Holdings Inc, her father placing his foot down that she would in fact use her big college education.

naturally blair bounced in and around positions for several years as she continued to live her life very much as a socialite before the company finally named her director of creative output. an entirely made up position for her with an insane salary she didn't need and making her a pain in the back side for any architecture that came along to help build new hotels - luckily for her she just usually slept with them. in doing so at 37 blair ended up a mother for the first time to her little girl, angelica, who is a carbon copy of her mother and spends most of her time with her father or at boarding school. she loves her daughter, she's just not cut out to be maternal.

when blair turned 40 she decided that it was long over due for her to have a new husband and began to take note of all the offers she got from pretty little a-listers and other socialites a like and married another man within 6 months of starting her search so that she could enjoy walking around with a big shiny rock. not that it stops her from taking it off.

not long after her marriage blair signed on for the new season of the real house wives of beverly hills and has been adding her dramatic flare to the show since, unafraid to throw a drink, show her knickers or make out with someone elses husband.

[reddit-aita]

AITA for not wanting to raise my new sibling?

Throwaway account here.

I am a 24 year old woman who just finished my bachelor's degree and started my first professional job. I had a rough childhood growing up. My father was an alcoholic and my mother didn't really want to be a mom and she was out partying all of the time.

My sister is 16 now and I feel like she is my kid. We were left alone for days and even weeks at a time when I was growing up. My sister was much younger than me so I took over the role of being a parent to her. I was the one who washed her hair and helped her with her homework and held her when she cried and made sure she had food to eat. My parents never did any of that for us.

When I was 16, something happened at my parents' house that made me fear for both my safety and my sister's safety, so I moved out and took her with me. My parents didn't care. I got two part-time jobs, went to school, and raised my sister the best I could. We were really poor but I would have given my life for her (still would) and she is really good kid.

A few years ago, my father died and my mom remarried. The new husband is pretty much a carbon copy of my father. After my father's death, my mom reached out to me for the first time in years and said she wanted to be back in my and my sister's life. I didn't really want to, but my sister wanted to, so I did it for her. At first it was okay, but my mom is back into drugs and her new husband is just as bad if not worse.

The problem is my mom and her new husband had a little girl (she is six months old now) and apparently they are doing the same things that she and my dad did with me and my sister (leaving her alone for hours at a time). I was not aware of this, but I have to say I am not surprised. Another relative reported her to CPS and now they need to find a "temporary" home for my half-sister or she is going to be put in foster care.

My mom suggested me but I said I didn't want to raise another one of her kids. I understand that she is my half-sister, but I have pretty much raised myself and my sister and I am just tired. I am finally looking at a future where my sister will be going to college in two years and I will FINALLY have a life of my own. I have sacrificed so much for my sister and I don't regret that at all, but I just want to have a life where I can be lazy for a bit if I want and I can focus on just myself, instead of constantly caring for another human being. I've never had that chance before.

My mom is livid and saying that I am a horrible person for not taking in my half-sister. She says it will be "temporary" until she gets her life cleaned up, but this woman has never had her life in order. I know if I take my half-sister, I will be raising yet another child and I won't have a chance to live a life of my own until I'm over 40. I do feel awful about my half-sister ending up in foster care, and I do want to be a part of her life - I just don't want to be a parent to her. AITA for saying no?

Edited to add: I did try to shelter my other sister as much as possible about what was going on in our home. She was seven and a half when we moved out, so she doesn't remember a lot about what happened, and we weren't in contact with our mother until 2019, so I just kind of brushed off her questions and said that our parents weren't mentally well and I thought we would be better on our own. I was really hopeful that things had changed, but I still kept a really close eye on what kind of contact I allowed them to have (I have supervised every in person interaction they've had, for example). I did talk to her tonight and gave her the whole truth, and while she was upset to learn it, she definitely understands a lot more about what happened and why we're not going to have contact with our mother anymore.

As for the relative who reported her to CPS, she is not in the position to take on a baby due to a chronic health condition that is growing progressively worse.

[stargazerdaisy]

Lucy goes UC and dies. Nyla names her daughter after Lucy. The series ends on a “22 years later” time jump, with a 60ish year old Nolan being assigned TO to Lucy Harper. So… technically Nolan and Lucy would begin and end the show together then, huh.😈

(Again, I know this anon, so trust me I'm yelling at a friend who did this on purpose, to provoke this exact reaction.) You really woke up and chose violence this morning, didn't you? I can't believe you would do this to me. When it first came in, I only read the beginning "Lucy dies and Nyla names her daughter" and I was already yelling. Then I opened it up and YELLED MORE. And then you just had to text me and make it EVEN WORSE. Just out here swinging the Feelings Bat, clobbering everyone you can, huh? Pretty sure that bat is wrapped in barbed wire too. OUCH, IT HURTS. First and foremost, HA, 22 years from now and Nolan is just 60ish? Alexi, is that you? Nolan is anywhere from 40 to 44, I swear they've mentioned like 4 possible ages for him. But 22 years from now would put him at 62 bare minimum, maybe even as much as 66. Freaking hell, the timeline is a mess.

But really? This is what you want to do to me? Make me cry with this idea? The idea of losing Lucy at all is breaking my heart. Like, I am having a hard time getting past that. But for the sake of persevering I will.

Let me tell you, there has never been a more doted on little girl than Lucy Harper. She is absolutely BELOVED of everyone in that station. Nyla is never hurting for babysitters and Little Lucy grows up recognizing that specific slightly misty eyed look people get when they make the connection with her name. Sometimes it feels like too much, but most of the time, she considers it an honor, especially by the time she grows up. Most of the cops she'd known growing up had since retired or moved into more administrative positions. Angela had become Captain not too long ago and Lucy was more than excited to serve under her. And trusty Uncle John was there as well. Tales of him being her mom's first Boot had been her bedtime stories. And Tim (not Uncle Tim, that had been firmly declared when she was 3, there was just....too much there) was the Watch Commander. Walking into Roll Call that first morning was intimidating as hell, with not only her mom's but also Lucy Chen's legacies looming over her. But Lucy Harper was determined to make them proud. She'd blaze her own trail, she was no carbon copy or ghost of an old friend. But there was so much strength and experience to draw on. She would be an asset to the LAPD. She had the best examples, after all. That first day was like nothing she'd expected, even after the Academy and all that her family had told her in preparation. But she was quick on her feet, ready to take action, and observant as hell. As they were turning in the war bags and body cams, Nolan told her just that. He assured her she would be great at this. And as she walked away, he looked over at the framed pictures of Lucy Chen and Jackson West, feeling like maybe it was finally coming full circle. That as the next generation of LAPD officers began, here as his career was coming to a close (Lucy Harper would be his last Rookie, that's for sure), that his fellow Rookies, from oh so long ago, were there with him again.

[tabloidtoc]

Life & Style, April 26

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Khloe Kardashian is a total fake

Page 1: Lady Gaga in a wedding dress on the set of House of Gucci in Rome

Page 2: Contents

Page 4: The Top 10 SAG Awards Looks -- Mindy Kaling, Jamie Chung, Amy Adams, Sarah Levy, Kerry Washington

Page 5: Kaley Cuoco, Nicole Kidman, Natalie Morales, Viola Davis, Lily Collins

Page 6: Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen celebrated their 12-year anniversary, posting heartfelt tributes to each other on social media, but their relationship hasn't always been so rock solid -- Tom admitted that Gisele has made a lot of sacrifices for their marriage and she hated living in Boston because she had no friends there and felt so alone because Tom was never around; things got so bad they sought counseling, which was the wake-up call that Tom needed -- he promised to make changes and he agreed to quit the Patriots and sign with a team in a location that was more desirable to Gisele and Tom stuck to his word and he came the new quarterback for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and since moving to Florida, Tom and Gisele have never been happier and they have date nights every week and always make sure to communicate -- it wasn't easy, but they're both really proud of how far they've come

Page 7: After multiple delays, David Schwimmer, Courteney Cox, Jennifer Aniston, Lisa Kudrow, Matthew Perry and Matt LeBlanc have finally filmed the highly anticipated Friends reunion special and they all got really emotional when they saw the set and being there brought back so many fond memories -- it's the first time in 17 years that fans will get to see the entire cast together since the show went off the air in 2004 -- afterwards, everyone went to Jen's house for dinner -- each of the stars was paid $2.5 million to appear in the special

* Throwback -- Dolly Parton in 1965

* Biggest Spenders of the Week -- Bobby Flay, Aaron Rodgers, Vanessa Hudgens, Angelina Jolie

Page 8: Drew Barrymore revealed that, after three divorces and a string of failed romances, she's sworn off marriage altogether -- Drew doesn't need a man to feel complete and she's happiest hanging out with family and friends -- if the right guy comes along later down the line, great, but for now, she's content with being single

* Becoming one of the most sought-after stars in Hollywood has gone straight to Ana de Armas' head -- the cast and crew are often left waiting for the actress to emerge from her trailer on the set of the new action thriller The Gray Man -- Ana's got a lot going on and she's juggling several different projects, as well as photo shoots and phone calls with her team and people don't stay mad at her for too long, but they have nicknamed her Ana de Diva, but she isn't upset by the scathing moniker because she's a big name now, and with that comes a lot of responsibility and the way she sees it, there are worse things than being called a diva

Page 10: The Week in Photos -- Orlando Bloom got a surprise visit from the Easter Bunny

Page 11: Jennifer Lopez in jeans at a photoshoot for InStyle, Priyanka Chopra dancing around her backyard in a bright yellow dress

Page 12: Animal Tales -- Gilles Marini posed for a pic with his African grey parrot Anya, singer Madison Beer leaned in for a kiss from a caramel-colored stallion, Kate Beckinsale's feline Clive seemed less than thrilled when Kate strapped him to her chest in a carrier

Page 13: Kaia Gerber and her precious pooch Milo snuggled up in bed, Malin Akerman and a goat

Page 16: Stars Behaving Badly -- Lisa Vanderpump let her parched dog drink from her water glass at a restaurant in West Hollywood, Maisie Williams went topless under a translucent jacket while shooting a new TV series about the Sex Pistols in London, HGTV Design Star host Allison Holker used a megaphone to give out instructions to Property Brother Jonathan Scott on the show's finale, Calvin Klein wasn't worried about stains when he shoved a pile of spaghetti into his mouth at West Hollywood's Mauro Cafe

Page 18: Say What?! Helena Bonham Carter who turns 55 in May, Chelsea Handler who admits she consumes mushrooms almost every day, Olivia Munn who is the proud pet parent of rescue dogs Frankie and Chance, Melissa McCarthy on doing her own stunts in Thunder Force, Brian Tyree Henry on Godzilla vs. Kong co-star Millie Bobby Brown

Page 20: Pete Davidson has officially moved out of his mother's home and into a $1.2 million luxury high-rise condo on Staten Island, and it's all thanks to his new girl girlfriend, Bridgerton star Phoebe Dynevor -- the Saturday Night Live star showed off his two-bedroom, two-and-a-half bathroom bachelor pad during a Zoom call -- Phoebe is a down-to-earth girl, but she doesn't want to date a man who lives in his mom's basement and she thinks Pete's mom, Amy, is awesome and says it's a great thing that they're super close, but being in a long-distance relationship is difficult enough so Pete and Phoebe need some alone time when they're together, which was almost impossible with his mother hanging out upstairs -- Pete knew it was time; he just needed that gentle nudge

Page 21: Matt James and Rachael Kirkconnell were spotted in NYC together, sparking speculation that the former Bachelor couple have rekindled their relationship -- the pair parted ways while the show was still airing after photos of the graphic designer at a plantation-themed college party in 2018 surfaced on social media -- Rachael made a mistake but she owned up to it and was willing to learn from it and it didn't change her feelings for Matt or vice versa and Matt was in love with Rachael too and he couldn't just turn those feelings off so no one would be surprised if they decided to reconcile

* Michael B. Jordan's girlfriend Lori Harvey was left reeling over photos of the actor sharing a smooch with Chante Adams on the set of their new movie A Journal for Jordan -- of course, they were just shooting a scene for the film, but Lori was still annoyed and she asked Michael about it, and he brushed it off and explained it was part of the job but Lori still has her suspicions and she's been thinking about dropping by the set just so she can keep a very close eye on them

Page 22: Cover Story -- Khloe Kardashian living a lie -- devastated by an unretouched photo leak, Khloe faces claims she's a body positivity hypocrite as she demands the viral image be taken down

Page 26: Alex Rodriguez to Ben Affleck: Back off my fiancee -- Ben gushes about ex Jennifer Lopez in a new article and A-Rod isn't happy about it (not quite Bennifer yet :)

Page 28: Prince Harry overwhelmed with work -- Harry struggles to adjust after trading his cushy royal role for a variety of normal gigs -- though his job for BetterUp is primarily remote, added stress comes in the form of Harry's Spotify and Netflix deals, plus growing charity work -- Harry finds all of his new, non-royal titles fresh and exciting, but while he's a great person, some in his inner circle say Harry's kind of dumb and worry whether he can handle the pressure

Page 30: Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli life after prison -- reunited following months spent behind bars, Lori and Mossimo try to pick up the pieces -- prison definitely took a toll on Mossimo and he doesn't expect sympathy, but he's still struggling to adjust to what he went through; it really broke him down and forced him to reevaluate his life

Page 32: Who Lives Here? Lil Nas X

Page 34: Entertainment

Page 35: Star Review -- Jonathan Van Ness

* As Seen On-Screen -- Meghan Markle wore a dark green coat while walking through Archie's Chick-Inn during her CBS interview which was J. Crew's Perfect Lightweight Jacket

Page 36: Go Green at Home -- reduce your carbon footprint even more with these eco-chic essentials, because our planet can use all the help it can get

Page 37: Beauty Crush -- get Jurnee Smollett's look from her makeup artist Emily Cheng for the SAG Awards

Page 38: Spring Beauty Must-Haves -- these product picks aim to reign as new-season favorites -- Camila Mendes

Page 40: Diva or Down-to-Earth? Rihanna bagged her own haul at Bristol Farms in Beverly Hills -- down-to-earth, Shay Mitchell worked from home with help from her most trusted assistant daughter Atlas -- down-to-earth, during a photo shoot in Malibu Brooke Burke got a makeup refresh from a personal primper -- diva

Page 42: Social Stars Posts of the Week -- Sofia Vergara sneaking Heidi Klum a chip on the set of America's Got Talent, Neil Patrick Harris finished the first season of The Irregulars while quarantining in Toronto, Jared Leto pretended to pluck the moon straight out of the sky during a masked outing in Italy, Beyonce treated her daughter Blue Ivy to a meal at Nobu in Malibu

Page 44: Horoscope -- Taurus Gigi Hadid turned 26 on April 23

* They're Not Together, But They Should Be -- Capricorn Charles Melton and Virgo Zendaya

Page 48: What I'm Into -- Kameron Westcott of The Real Housewives of Dallas

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs “Snow”

Another suggestion you guys gave me :) Hope you like it! 

Maroz 324’s sky was cold and blue overhead. It’s distant binary stars hung high in the sky over the flat, cold alien landscape painted in shades of blue and white. No footprints, or tracks of any kind crossed it’s surface, and remained that way until the shuttle roared down from the bright morning sky and towards the chilled surface.

The GA (Galactic Assembly’s( scientific landing crew felt the weight of the ship as it settled onto the ice, and unbuckled themselves from their seats turning towards the wall to grab their gear. The crew consisted of two Vrul, one Tesraki and a Rundi as it usually was…. That was all accept for the humans, who ducked through the door and into the room, tall and menacing with their forward facing eyes and glittering white teeth.

The human pilot, wearing an eyepatch, and accompanied by a Vrul and Drev of his own paused in the doorway, “We ran some diagnostics on the planet surface. The ice is made mostly of well…. Water which is obviously a good thing for us. As for temperature and atmospheric readings, we have mostly nitrogen, bu at least 21% oxygen. Not a whole lot of carbon. Outside reading on the ship shows that there seems to be no liquid water present on the surface, and as such indicates no bacterial presence, though that may mean nothing at this point. Temperature is a balmy -20 degrees Fahrenheit or -28 degrees celsius.

“Balmy, is this your humor, human?” one of the scientists wondered pulling on a contained environment suit with respirator, temperature control, and a crap-load of other life support equipment, “Subzero temperatures make this planet a deathtrap, unlivable. An extremely hostile environment.”

The human just smiles a calm smile,“Balmy at this point means, wow my face isn’t going to freeze off and shatter upon contact with the air.”

“But ... that's exactly what -20 means.” 

Behind him, the other humans were falling into the room pulling on multiple layers of clothing. The human before them did the same. Two pairs of pants, and boots, and then another strange fibrous layer, and then a large fluffy jacket above that. There seemed to be no room for life support aboard their uniforms. In fact, the scientists were skeptical whether the suits were airtight enough not to lose air rather than contain it. The human pulled on a cap over his head and delicate ears, which were sure to freeze in the cold. There was no question that humans weren't meant for low temperatures, seeing as they lost heat quickly, and had no hair to keep them warm.

That might be why it seemed as if their gear was so primitive…. Perhaps because they had to develop subzero life support systems early on. The original human pulled on two pairs of gloves flexing his fingers inside the suit before donning a strange set of eyewear which he perched atop his head.

As far as they could tell ,he wore no respirator, and there was nothing protecting his eyes from freezing inside his head. The rest of the scientific group had donned their gear…. The same gear they would have worn in the vacuum of space, and then motioned towards the airlock. The humans shuffled forward with a sort of swishing squeaking noise, and the scientists followed behind them. The lead human carried a specimen tube on his back with another vrul encased on the inside looking surprisingly bored as if he was used to the human’s atics by this point. 

They were growing rather nervous watching them, “Aren't you going to put on your helmets?” one of them wondered through the intercom.

The humans looked down at him. Through their noses and mouths were covered by strange fibrous material, the way their eyes scrunched hinted at amusement.

Behind them, the airlock hissed shut, “Why would we do something like that.”

The human hit the button and the cabin depressurized. The scientists looked on in horror expecting humans to fall to the ground dead, but they seemed more than ok. One of them walked towards the door as a decontamination spray bathed them in a fine layer of mist. The door lurched open with a clunk, and a wave of what must have been freezing cold air flooded into the cabin.

Together, the scientists looked up in shock expecting the human’s eyes to immediately freeze and shatter inside their skulls, or at least to see their skin turn blue. No such thing happen, together, the humans walked out into the snow with a soft crunch crunch. To their shock, the main human pulled the material down from his mouth, and then breathed deeply. Hot air plumed from his mouth in smoke like rings.

“Ah…. nothing like a little cold to invigorate the self.” he took another deep breath. For a moment they stared on in surprise, shock and awe, that was before the man began to cough violently doubling over for a moment, probably ready to keel over and die.

The other humans began to laugh at him.

HE pulled the material up over his face, still coughing, “Note to self, air very dry, lungs on fire,.”

The scientists stared on in wonder as the human quickly recovered.

“What…. But…. how/”

The human turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow, “Are you kidding. Where I come from it can get -40 degrees towards the beginning of the year. So cold you can turn boiling water into water vapor in seconds.”

“But ... but how…. You have no fur.”

“What do you think the jacket is for.”

“But your lungs.”

The human reached up and prodded at his nose with a hand, “That’s what this puppy is for keeps the air humid and warm for the lungs. I advise breathing through the nose in cold situations rather than the mouth.

“Your eyes….”

“Tons of blood flow, and there are nice and cozy inside my sull, stop worrying so much.”

He turned towards the planet hands on his hips, “I don’t know about you boys and girls, but I would consider this planet habitable, at least worth harvesting water from. So maybe some sort of base here.”

The scientists just stared as the (life support-less) humans marched into the snow.

“Think about it, one of the humans muttered watching as the scientists took their readings, “No one has ever set foot here…. Ever.” 

The lead human tapped his chin with a musing expression, “Mmm ... good point.” It was then that he left off a strange animal bugle and ran straight onto the tundra hopping and dancing and running around in circles on the white plane of ice and snow almost slipping and falling on more than one occasion. It didn’t take long before the other humans were running after him engaging in primitive and aggressive play with each other. 

A human took a running start and then dug his heels into the icy snow going skidding past another human who had flopped down on her back to open and close her arms and legs while laughing. 

A human leaped over her and then went rolling into the snow sending an explosion of white powder up after him rolling to a stop only to copy the woman before. The scientists, who should have been collecting samples, just stared on in wonder and confusion as the humans happily played in the snow and ice.

Two humans tackled another one and forced his face into the snow before scampering away only to be chased by their snowy counterpart whose warm skin was melting the snow on his face only to have it freeze against his skin. 

“What are they doing.” One of the scientists asked in wonder.

The Vrul inside his test tube sighed, “They are frolicking I believe is the term. Humans love snow, or at least some humans love sow. That one there is making a snow angel, those ones there just performed what is called a ‘whitewash’.”

The scientists turned to the Vrul hunkered down inside his specimen tube, “how do you know all of this?”

He sighed “The first time I visited earth, it was during a blizzard.”

“You’ve been to earth!” They exclaimed in unison.

“More than once unfortunately.” He droned watching as one human snuck up on another with a handful of snow shoving it in their face when they weren’t expecting it. He came over sputtering and spitting snow out of his mouth, “Ok, Ok, this means war.” The aliens looked on with worried expressions as the human trudged over to the ship where the heat of the engines, still cooling had melted a plot of snow in a wide circle around the craft. He dug his hand in towards the edge scooping up a handful of snow and began packing it together.

Together the scientists came forward with curiosity, “How did you do that.”

The human looked u in puzzlement, holding out his ball of snow, “What…. You didn’t know that it sticks together.” he tossed the ball of snow up and down in a single hand, “Well my friends, you are about to be introduced to a human game that has been near and dear to our hearts from times of great antiquity.”

He turned towards where the other humans were still ‘frolicking in the snow’ and violently snapped his arm around in an overhand circle. 

There was an explosion of snow on the back of one of the human’s jackets and he stumbled nearly falling flat on his face. He turned eyes narrowed, and then came barreling towards the human who had thrown it.

“SNOWBALL FIGHT!”  

The entire tundra broke into chaos around the ship, and the scientists ducked for cover as balls of frozen liquid began flying through the air at incredible speed. The first human was nailed in the face ending up on his back in the snow holding a hand to his nose.

The other humans only stopped to see if he was ok before continuing on in their mission. Two took up position behind one of the struts holding the ship up, one of them throwing the snowballs, while the other made them and handed them off with unwavering accuracy. 

Eventually someone was smashed over the head with a snowball the size of his own head and the two ended up tumbling to the snow rolling end over end as they tried to stick each other’s faces in the cold, wet ground.

The scientists were making no headway and were forced to yell at the humans to knock it off hoping beyond hope that this was not some sort of primitive mutiny by the humans. It was so violent and aggressive.

“ALL OF YOU KNOCK IT OFF!” The humans stopped, and everyone turned to find the Vrul in the test tube with both of his arms crossed, just like the humans, “can’t you see you are ruining the  scientific field and contaminating it., “Either you play nice with each other, or you are all going back inside.” 

To their surprise, the humans slumped and muttered to each other giving the scientists time to go out and begin sampling away from the ship where the chaos had taken place. Behind them, two humans had begun rolling a massive ball of snow, which didn’t seem like it should have stuck together, but totally did. Another one sat in the snow and absently crunched on a snoball.

“Get that out of your mouth!” The vrul in the test tube demanded, “You don’t know what could possibly be in it.”

The human looked up at him licking his lips, “Don’t eat yellow snow.” He held out the snowball, “This snow is white.”

“It is from another planet.”

“What is yellow snow.” A returning scientist wondered, “I did not know that snow came in different colors.”

The human grinned malevolently, “Oh yes yellow snow. I know how to make it too. A serious process.” the other humans began giggling. The vrul inside his specimen tube did not seem pleased.

Behind them two of the humans had managed to stack three snowballs one on top of the other.

“What are you doing.

The humans turned to look, “Do you like it? This is our snowman.”

“Snowman?” They wondered in confusion. Another human walked up from behind with two snowballs and stuck them onto the middle snowball.

“Now it is a snow woman.” 

He received a face full of snow for his trouble.” 

Another human inched by on his back pushing himself through the snow on his back like some kind of strange arctic inch worm. The other humans, and aliens alike turned to watch him go, the humans with amusement and the aliens with confusion.

Apparently, despite being spawned in the dessert, or savanna, humans greatly enjoy the cold, when snow is involved, they will eat it, play with it, throw it at each other, bury themselves in it burrowing around like snow worms. No one understands why this is, by all rights it should kill them, but humans are adaptable basterds, and I suppose that the ability to live in a cold climate would give them no end to the water that they might need.

Still it is very strange, there is something about snow that brings out the primitive human, which will then display a strange sort of ritualistic play .

There will have to be more research done about this in the future, but for now it will have to remain a mystery. 

[lothioriien]

richie tozier and his zoomer teen: headcanons

A/N: I tried keeping this as gender neutral as possible, but idk it’s a lil implied that the kid’s a girl. i’m trying to learn how to write gender neutral stuff :”)

By teenager, I mean around 16-17! High school age!!

Enjoy!

Sometime in the early 2000s, famous comedian Richard Tozier went to a party and came home with a woman.

oh yeah they deffo got it on that night

But that was a one night stand kind of thing, and Richie didn’t have any contact with her until about a year later.

He got up the couch one early evening to the ringing of his doorbell, and found a basket and a bag filled with baby food, diapers, and clothes perched on his doorstep

And in the basket? A small child, an apology note from the mother, and a birth certificate with his name listed as the father.

Oh boy did his life completely change after that.

It was him and the child, against the world.

but let’s skip the details on him struggling to take care of an infant first and move on a bit to when the kid’s older.

You, of course, are the baby that was left on his doorstep, and Richie tried to be the best father he could be despite his touring career as a comedian.

He’d bring you to the shows, even if you didn’t understand a thing that went on, though eventually when you’d help him write some material when you were older.

Constantly touring with him as a kid meant you were homeschooled. But that didn’t stop you from having a social life. You’d be friends with a lot of his fellow comedians, and John Mulaney was your ultimate favorite friend of his.

you just loved the very tall and gangly twelve year old looking man named uncle john.

Your academic life though was not too bad. You’re pretty intelligent, but when it came to maths, oh boy.

As a kid, you’d ask Richie constantly about math. He’d hate the school curriculum you had because math was different back when he was younger. He’d always help you, but it was mostly the internet just teaching you both.

You’d introduce him to vines (through iconic vine compilation videos), but mostly because he was so confused with this new language you were speaking.

Eventually he’d say some vines back to you and it’d come off so weird cause he’s a 40 year old white dad. You love him, nonetheless, and appreciate the effort

A lot of your instagram stories or snapchat stories are you filming him as you sing “You are my dad! You’re my dad! Boogie woogie woogie!”

He found it cute at first, where he would smile at you hiding behind your phone and hug you after cause dang he loves his kid so much and would die for you

then later, he’s evidently so annoyed because you do it constantly. As in he takes off his glasses, puts his head in his hands and just sighs so loudly.

When tiktok became the new vine, you were on the app every single day, making it a goal of yours to become tiktok famous.

You’d force your dad to do tiktoks with you

“I love my daddy. he is my superhero”

“Famous relative check!”

BUT THE PERFECT AUDIO

“Don’t look at me like that.” “YOU’RE MY DAD. BOOGIEWOOGIEWOOGIE!”

Gaining some clout because he is a pretty famous comedian 👀

Saying “ok boomer” to him when he’d annoy you

But then he’d clap back by being like “What the fuck Y/N. I was born in 1976, i’m not that old.”

“Yeah but sometimes you think like a boomer.”

“Ok, zoomer.”

“Dad. No. Get out.”

He’s really chill with you swearing. You definitely got that habit from him.

“What the actual fuck, Richard.”

“At least have the fucking decency to call me dad, Y/N.”

He got you into video games at a young age. Every time there was a new console or a new interesting game out, you’d both be up early to go out and get the said console/game.

And in each game you’d play, there would be hilarious commentary.

it’s basically that video with bill hader playing god of war with conan but imagine that and a zoomer’s feral energy combined.

He also got you into becoming a cinephile. Though unlike him, you read the books before watching the movie.

Marathoning a bunch of tv series together and you can never watch any new episode without him. Friday nights were reserved especially for it.

Richie can’t fucking cook for the life of him. Growing up, it was always take out, pizza, instant noodles, or mac and cheese.

He tried learning how to cook, he really did. But it was just so bad that eventually you’d learn how to do it. Then you’d try to teach him how too.

But did he get better as a cook?? Not really.

He once accidentaly set almost the whole kitchen on fire when he tried making pasta when you were 15.

“DAD, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUT WATER IN THE POT FOR PASTA.”

“HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT? I JUST WANTED TO DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOU!”

“I APPRECIATE THE GESTURE BUT PLEASE DON’T EVER TRY TO COOK AGAIN.”

The following morning, he got up and learned how to make pancakes with sausages, bacon, and eggs.

It was damn good, and by far the best thing he ever made.

So his pancakes became a regular thing.

On casual dinner nights at home, he’d let you have a drink with him and be drinking buddies. He taught you how to drink and be safe with drinks (cause we stan a protective father amirite)

Speaking of protective father, he’d be so picky and open about the people you’d date

“Really Y/N? That person? They’re fucking trash and you know it. You deserve better, sweetie.”

“But dad. They’re hot.”

“That’s still a no from me, kiddo.”

Having the most random, yet somehow meaningful conversations with Richie, yet roasting him at the same time.

“Y/N, do you think I would be classified as a papi by people.”

“No. You still wear hawaiian shirts over a t-shirt. You’re too tacky for that. You’re a papa, not a papi.”

But somehow, you also adopt his fashion style?

Cause hawaiian shirts are pretty cool? Very John Deacon ala 80s aesthetic?

And then he roasts you back from the time you called him tacky.

“Respect the drip, Richard.”

Even though you always poke fun at each other, you guys are actually so open with each other and just talk about anything and everything.

Oh no when you first got your period, he was panicking and nearly bought the entire aisle of pads and tampons because he was so clueless

Meeting the Losers Club was exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time. You didn’t know what to expect of them or what they’d expect from you.

You clung to your dad the whole time, watching him reunite with his childhood friends. Each one of them had a look of surprise and confusion the moment they laid their eyes on you.

They found you to be like a mini-me of Richie, as both of you were clad in printed/hawaiian shirts and glasses.

“Jeez, Richie. Why’d you decide to bring a fucking clone of yourself?” asked Eddie.

“That’s my kid, you dumbass! Eddie, this is Y/N.”

“No shit, you have a kid! You got married, dipshit?”

“No, uh, it’s just them and me.”

You decided to butt in jokingly, “Joe was in the picture for a while too,”

“Joe? Who the fuck is Joe?” The minute Eddie asked this, Richie knew what was coming next.

“Joe mama.” Thus receving a high five from your father and a groan from Eddie.

at first, everyone else would not believe Richie ‘Trashmouth’ Tozier had his very own kid, but the minute you started to get comfortable and joke around, it really clicked for them.

“There’s no doubt they’re Richie’s kid. Look at them! They’re basically a carbon copy of him!” Eddie would have exclaimed.

You‘re very liberal and open-minded, supporting the LGBT+ community and such, but you didn’t really know Richie’s stance on it.

Perhaps it was because he’d been surpressing his feelings for a specific boy from his childhood for almost his entire life, and he didn’t really talk about that topic so much.

But when you saw the chemistry between your dad and Uncle Eds, you sensed a little something there on both ends.

always saying a specific vine under your breath when you see them “two bros, chilling in a hot tub, five feet apart cause they’re not gay” (thank you to for this hc)

OKAY UNCLE EDS LIVES IN THIS AND HE’S DEFFO A BIG PART OF YOUR LIFE AFTER ONE SPECIAL TRIP TO DERRY, MAINE.

You’d say the vine so much, Richie eventually heard it and pulled you aside.

“Y/N, I- how did you know?”

“Know what dad?”

It took a little while for him to come up with the proper words to say. How was he gonna break this to you?

“Y/N..honey, I’ve had feelings for your Uncle Eds ever since we were kids. I-i don’t know, it really scared me as a kid to feel that way so I never talked about it. I guess what I’m trying to say is, kiddo, I’m gay.”

“Huh? I thought you were American?”

the man was basically on the verge of tears. He was so tense, he almost forgot to breathe. But the moment you hugged him and told him that it’s okay, that you love him so much, and that you’re so proud of him, he wrapped you in the biggest bear hug and cried. You cried too.

A/N: Imma end it here for now :)

So sorry it took forever!! I hope you enjoyed!!

Let me know if you want a part 2! 🤪

[popculturebuffet]

Reviewcaps: Amphibia: Swamp and Sensibility / Wax Museum

This week Anne tries to treat life like a ABCFamily Original Movie with predictable results while Kermit the frog cameos and the rest of the family wonder into a few possible Jordan Peele Movies. Then Anne stumbles into a Gravity Falls Homage and Frog Stan nearly murders her because that’s our boy. That’s our boy right there. Be warb under the cut. 

Wooo hoo! While this one’s a little wait both due to work on another review for a certain episode, this was a decent episode to cap off our long road trip. We’re now one week away from Marcy debuting and also Keith motherfucking David. 

I have no idea what enlisted is or what the hell is going on here but it’s keith david casually laying on a bicyle in full uniform. How could I not? 

Before we get to this week here’s last week’s recap, as tumblr ate it for reasons..  as you can also see if you click on my blog I tided up my subpages, so amphibia reviews can now be found in the general disney section along with ducktales and star vs. Now that’s out of the way our last episodes before marcy and keith, i’m a day behind, let’s a go. 

Swamp and Sensiblility

I”m also going to try going a bit looser.. still recapping what happens but not beat for beat as it’s gotten tiring and I sometimes strain for jokes especially when tired. So this week The Plantars find themselves stranded in Ribbiton, the most expensive city in amphibia after betsy breaks her reigns and, not having any other options are forced to stay with Hop Pop trying to keep the kids from getting distracted by the luxury. Thankfully they find an old friend: It’s One Eyed Wally!

Actually got an outside gif to work! Also hooray! But I did really like wally after his spotlight episode last season and his insane plan with the explosives that wound up paying off.. that’s some Wolverine level thinking.. no really he once cut the wires open in a sewer during a rainstorm so when the water inevitibly hit them it’d cause a blackout and hopefully help the x-men when it did if things had gone sideways.. which by the time it did, it did and they had. So good on you guys.  Anyways turns out Wally’s a rich boy but he’s gone too far because he know it don’t matter anyway.. and has been hiding his true self from his family, so the plantars showing up really dosen’t help. Thankfully he’s able tos top them from talking or correcting his father assuming their the help and our family takes lord rich asshole up on his offer to stay the night at their mansion, which in what I assume is a nod to gravity falls has peacocks on the lawn, though this being Amphibia their giant and deadly and you shouldn’t look right at them. 

Once in their fancy guest room, Anne wonders...

Wally explains, as I did he’s hiding himself. Anne sees parallels with a movie she was watching at the start of the episode from point to pop and lock which looks like my own personal hell.. aka an abc family original movie back before it became freeform, which is a more fitting name for what the network horrifcally mutated into over time so fair enough. It’s better than say keeping the names MTV or TLC long after either of those acronyms is at all accurate.. and at least with MTV they have almost 40 years of brand recognition to justify it with. But yeah it’s about a ballerina who wants to hip hop dance, you’ve seen the story a million time.. and a plot repeated here about a kid wanting to live their dreams but worrying their family won’t accept them or knowing they won’t, with wally, while not carrying for the money, not wanting to loose his family or his beloved bug... which reminds me of that Pokemon episode with James and his growlithe only without a carbon copy of jesse trying to use bdsm to make james obey which is not how that works Jessebelle. That’s not how any of that works. What.. what even was that episode.. I mean somehow it was really good and makes me question why Jesse and James never hooked up but still, what WAS that. 

Anyways, while Anne decides to interfere, the Plantars get a great montage of wondering into various creepy shit with toad saunas, rich people smashing things, and one frog in a peacock outfit among actual peacocks.. just.. yeah.. real Jordan Peele/Blumhouse “Rich white people are fucking terrifying” shit.. which is accurate. Thankfully instead of getting trapped in their own bodies or forced to star in the boy, our heroes make it back to Anne.  At dinner Anne outs wally as a frigging weirdo with predictable results. Yeah the one flaw I can find with this episode is it’s REALLY predictable up to this point: Anne watches a movie, is obviously going to encounter someone with similar problems, then tries using that movie as real life, it fails but then somehow workso ut in the end or dosen’t but the person is happy anyway. What does spice it up though is the final act, as Wally decides fuck it , he’s going to take control of his own life and issues a family challenge against his dad to do so, something Anne, and me honeslty, had forgotten about from last season as that was 30 years ago and one of the less memorable episodes. Still nice bit of continuity. But with wally lacking a mount because his dad’s a prick, Anne pitches in to fix her screw up and we get a decently shot sequence, and amontage, as Anne and Wally play rich polo against wally’s dad. Oh and of course the more notable part of this, Kermit the Frog here, if sadly the minty fresh matt vogel one instead of the sadly fired Steve Whitmire.. still not over that but oddly Vogel does a better job here than on muppets now as I genuinely could not tell it was him so it works. But yeah, it’s not Vogel doing a voice but Kermit DOING voicework for amphibia, because Muppets get wonderfully meta and Disney wanted to keep this gimmick going. yes going, as last year Fozzy did voice acting for Big City Greens... I fucking love this and hope disney keeps doing it for all their shows. Do Owl House next. 

Anywho Kermit commentates and it’s okay, they don’t do much with him but the sheer novelty of Kermit playing a thinly veiled copy of himself that still looks like a muppet still kinda works. Anyways wally ends up winning via hair accordion (”How long has that been in there?” “At least a full season”) and his dad dosen’t want Wally to leave the family.. which neither does he, he just wants to be accepted, his father accepts him, reveals he also likes music, happy end.  Final Thoughts: As you can tell I kinda breezed through this one but unlike other just okay episodes lately i’ts not half bad and while using a stock plot, it does use it cleverly, and to help flesh out a character we like.. it’s still very by thenumbers but the neat setting of the rich people mansion, the plantars journey through it’s creepy bowels and kermit the frog cameoing all really help boost what otherwise would’ve just be “the episdoe before the gravity falls homage” it still was but it was enjoyable enough. It’s just in a day where disney said gay rights and i’ts sister episode is again an homage to one of Disney’s greatst shows in it’s storied animated television history, it’s also easy to forget. If nothing else it was nice to have Wally back. I do think that helped. As you can probably also tell these road episodes have been wearing on me.. while their not BAD, and some are infact quite excellent, a few like this one, quarallers pass, and the acting and western episodes, are just.. eh. The character flaws they bring up are only one episode and they don’t really felsh out the charcters enough. Even here while it’s nice to get more dimension to wally i’ts not really by much. They just feel fairly stock in a show that while using some stock plots usually can do so creatively. I think that’s the core problem: it’s not that these are TERRIBLE it’s just I expect better form the show in a typical episode, and from the interesting setups the road brings, especially since it DOES deliver on them in other episodes and i’m kinda glad this stretch is finished next week. That being said it does go out on one hell of a note.. 

Wax Museum So after weeks of anticipation, our road trip ends on an episode that was hyped up before the season even began.. a weird move given this is week 5 and i’d of saved the interviews for closer like Disney does with ducktales, but regardless, this one was worth the wait.  First my quick, since I tend to go overboard on my thoughts on shows, thoughts on Gravity Falls: It’s fucking excellent. I stand by calling it one of disney channels best shows and while certaint hings could’ve used more time, like Dipcifica seriously I have no idea why tease that and then do nothing with it when they still had plenty of time left int he series even with Ford. But yeah a few minor quibbles aside the series was really good, left us wanting more which after seeing other shows sputter into flames at the end, hello Star Vs, I can live with. So yeah I was hyped for this one, especially since Amphibia creator Matt Braley not only worked on Gravity Falls but got Gravity Falls creator Alex Hirsch’s blessing.. and of course, Alex being a peach of a guy, just yesterday he proudly cooed over the fact Dana Terrance actually got Disney to have a bisexual lead character after he struggled to get anything remotley LBGTQ into gravity falls. He’s a good guy. And a weirdo but he’s my kind of weirdo. But being so nice, he naturally agreed to return as stan expy the curator and frog soos. While that is all we get, I do get not wanting to shohorn 80 refrences to the show in or get a ton of voice actors to come back for a cameo, nor try and include the twins due to the plot of this episode really not working with them around, thougH I WOULD have appricated frog mcgucket, but eh, you can’t get everything you want.  Said plot is again simple but really intresting: The Plantars stop in a small town and are dead broke, but Anne casually taking off her hood and being reminded she’s seen as a freak ends up as a lucrative buisness opprotunity as naturally small town yokels are fine with gawking. So with the plantars now having actual money to see the sighs Anne settles on the curosity hut, our mystery shack for the evening. The rest of the plantars, especially Polly who sees some eyes move, are utterly unverved byt he place and by it’s owner, the curator, our stan pines.. or stan ponds if you will. I mean if the series has a chuck and other normal names here an there, including Polly, then it’s not a stretch to say his first name stayed the same. Anyways, Stan shows the family around, including Air Mantis, because hell yes and some gnomes and other callbacks to gravity falls.. but I like how theirs only a handful to gravity falls monsters. There’s plenty of refrences but the episode wisely goes more for the FEEL of Gravity Falls: The creepy setting, weirder monsters (even if amphibia dosen’t shy away from weird , last episode had sheep bugs and all), and spooky vibe from the curosity hut all feel like the tone Gravity Falls went for, which is similar enough to amphibia the two mesh well. Plus the curator is basically a SLIGHTLY more evil stan pines... SLIGHTLY., and Braly naturally having worked on the show nails the character in writing while Hirsch steps back into the roll like it was just yesterday. It feels like a love letter to what the show was rather than just “hey remember this cool thing from it”, with still plenty of nice nods here and there. 

Anyways back to the actual plot, the rest of the Plantars decides to leave because this place gives them the creeps as does Stan, but once htey leave Anne finds something: A skipman! Which is a great name for a portable cd player.. seriously I had one of those early in high school, the skipping really was constant hell. If anyone ever complains about mp3s, smack em. I do not miss that era. Have a bit of nostalgia for it sure, but I do not actually MISS it. 

Anyways, yeah this is a big deal and it’s nice that even in the homage to it’s parent show, we get a rather big plot point: something else came from Earth and given Anne dosen’t recognize it as Marcies, though It still could be but I highly doubt it, it didn’t come with the three of them, meaning there were humans BEFORE.. possibly centuries in amphibia time given what we’ve seen so far. After all a great calamity had happened, it somehow invovles the box that brought anne here... no one says time travel can’t be involved. And it’ll raise even more in a minute. But first Stan offers a million coppers for it. not being made of money Anne instead bargins on her weirdness: One day of performance in exchange for the discman. Sounds good Stan. He certainly doesn’t have any evil plans. Wink... he’s telling you he’s winking because one eye’s under an eyepatch. Naturally Stan has less than good intetions and ominously plots to frog soos.. which I absolutley love how they just call him frog soos, who postulates on multiverse theroy because he’s apparently been licking himself agian. Oh that soos... I always knew he was on something. Also while he dosen’t get a high from it I don’t doubt human soos also licks himself for unrelated reasons. 

Anyways the rest of the family are skpetical of Anne meeting stan at night.. which is fair. I wouldn’t want my nieces or nephews, and one of the nephews is around anne’s age, around stan alone for any length of time. I mean he’s fine with his own family but I know i’d find them in a child size armadillo suit having been fed questionable canned meats after having to dance for gawking yokels. Plus stan has resting “Call the police fan” so HOp Pop wants to just discuss it in the morning first before remotley trusting this guy. But anne impulsively decides to just sneak out when their asleep. More on that in a bit.  Naturally trusting the strange man she just met who presumibly traffics ladypugs in this reality and constnatly looks like he wants your wallet goes poorly as Stan traps Anne and plans to incase her in wax like the other exibits. The plantars realize anne is missing and rush in with Polly trying to face her fear and ending up freeing ah orrifying monster “This is way worse’ indeed. Meanwhile Stan is annoying anne who’s praying for the wax to get her in one of the best bits of the episode.. because of COURSE stan would talk inncoently to someone he’s kdinapped while eating canned beef. To me it’s another nice touch: While the caretaker IS more of a villian than stan, for obvious reasons, given he’s put a random person behind glass just for not buying things, dressed his own grandson up in a humilating wolf suit and had soos use a fucking boiler for his employee break room, it’s not a hgue stretch to say a pre-character development, i.e. pre dipper and mabel to convince him to be slightly better, Stan would kidnap a bunch of freaky wax creatures. It’s also why i’m okay Jason Ritter and Krystin Schall didn’t return. Their great and I woul’dve loved to have dipper and mabel back.. but the episode just dosen’t work with them in it even as a cameo, and they could easily show up in a followup later if they choose to bring this character back. Probably not but hey stranger things have happend.  Stan does however reveal something important: He got the discman from newtopia.. where a bunch of OTHER artifacts are. Thankfully before that information becomes useless to Anne, Sprig and Hop Pop show up to the rescue and Stan fights them thinking their cops as he dosen’t want to go back to frog jail. And even once he finds out their not, he still wants a new attraction because this is stan and again, as good as he is by series end, or at least marginally better, I still wouldn’t put it past him to put sentient creatures in wax. This however backfires as once Polly frees the creature above sprig and hop pop free the rest, and the giant throng of monsters drags Stan off, with blood popping up.. though he assures us it’s just wax so he could show up again. Probably not. He also offers htem 10 perecent, and goes up to 11.5 but that’s as far as we go. Goodbye again stan. I’ll miss you buddy. Seriously I absolutley loved the character and even with a shifter copy it was really nice to have him back for an episode.  The family carts Anne off and back at the campsight Anne bemoans not getting the skipman.. luckily Sprig grabbed it on their way out, because h’es a good friend, but Hop Pop and Pollly are annoyed at anne for once again recklesly endangering herself without considering them and forcing them to save her (As polly pefectly puts it I”m tired of facing my fears anne) And that’s why I saved that: this episode deconsturcts anne’s tendency to act before she reallyt hinks or consult anyone else and actually has the family confront her on it, though she does genuinely apologize so hopefully it’ll stick. But yeah now newtopia offers even more promise and anne offers hop pop an accidental laser to the eye vai the skipman to close out the episode.  Final Thoughts: As you can probably tell If reaking loved this one. Instead of just apping gravity falls, as I pointed it out i more felt like a gravity falls episode in miniture, mixed with Amphibia to still feel like it belonged in amphibia, and with Stan back just slightly more evil. Slightly. Alex Hirsch was as always a massive delight and it was a treat to have him back, and it was a really damn good note to close the road trip out on after some middling episodes, toadcatcher excluded. Not much else to say, it was really damn good, easily the seasno’s second best after toadcatcher.  Next Time:  MARCY. KEITH DAVID. Ants? Good times. Until then you can find more disney reviews under the disney tab on my blog including the entire season of amphibia thus far and season 3 of ducktales thus far. Until we meet again, courage. 

[spaceskam]

I’m Not Afraid of Anything

Summary: 6 times Alex is strong and 1 time Michael has to be strong for him

warnings: violence, anxiety, homophobic language

ao3

.1.

Michael couldn’t help but smile as Alex moaned into his mouth.

He wasn’t used to this just yet, it still felt surreal. One day Alex was asking him to tutor him in biology, the next he was being kissed senseless against the wall in the shed behind his house. He’d never even kissed a human before Alex. Now he couldn’t get enough.

“What time did you tell your mom you’d be home?” Alex asked softly, his nose bumping Michael’s before he kissed his cheek and moved to his jaw.

“Um,” Michael whispered, his eyes fluttering closed to the feeling of Alex’s lips on his skin, “F-five, I think. Could probably, uh, um, push it to five-thirty.”

“Mmm, good,” Alex said, a lazy smirk on his face as he flipped them over so Michael was on top. Heat rose to his cheeks. Alex usually took the lead, usually stayed on top. But, when Alex’s hands pressed against his ass and pulled his hips impossibly close, he got the memo. 

It was so weird. His entire life he’d been told to be careful with humans. When the Antarians had fled their wartorn planet in the 40s, they’d landed on Earth to a different kind of chaos. Michael didn’t know too much about how it got to a safe-ish integration, but he’d seen enough 50s and 60s propaganda films on ‘How to Treat Our Antar Friends’. It was enough to know it wasn’t an entirely positive transition.

While there was no longer forced segregation, it still seemed to happen on its own. Michael’s neighborhood didn’t have a single human‒Alex’s didn’t have a single Antarian. Workplaces were hell. Antarians got paid less, they got passed on promotions, they had to fight their way to the top. Michael’s mother, as high as her position was being deputy city manager, had warned him of that. In the schools, most classes conveniently didn’t mix if they didn’t have to and most of the time they didn’t even communicate with their species. Well, unless it was to be rude. Michael understood that better than anyone.

It was virtually impossible to keep what species you were a secret. It was displayed on every legal document, including your license. Antarian children in elementary and middle school had “special time” where they would be taken for two hours a day and given what could only be described as group therapy. No matter how their powers manifested, no matter if they had never been violent a day in their life, they were still given group lectures about why they shouldn’t hurt people and how they should treat humans. Once they were in high school, that transformed into a required four years of Ability Training instead of normal electives in high school.

Michael was lucky. His mother started training him the minute his powers started to manifest as a baby. After she bitched at the school for unfair treatment, he was able to test out after freshman year, leaving him able to take actual electives like music.

Which is how he met Alex.

“Alex?” Michael whispered, melting into the feather-light kisses fluttering across his jaw and his neck and his shoulder. Alex’s hand mindlessly slipped between them and unbuttoned Michael’s jeans.

“Yeah, baby?” Alex asked, his hand dipping into Michael’s boxers. It may or may not have completely destroyed his train of thought, his head bowing against Alex’s collarbone.

Eventually, he got his thoughts back, though it took much more effort than he wanted to admit.

“Are you sure you don’t mind that I’m an alien?” he breathed out and Alex froze beneath him.  He very quickly pulled his head back to see Alex staring at him with nothing short of amusement.

“Michael.” His tone was so sweet and so soft that Michael almost missed how condescending it was. “My hand literally down your pants right now. Do you think it would be there if I had a problem?”

Michael felt his cheeks flush and he shifted a little bit which was genuinely a horrible idea due to the fact that Alex’s hand was still wrapped around him.

“I just don’t want you to get trouble,” he whispered. While it wasn’t illegal for aliens and humans to be together, it was relatively frowned upon and it also wasn’t exactly fun to be openly queer either. They’d have double targets on their backs. Alex didn’t deserve that.

“God, you’re gorgeous,” Alex said, completely ignoring his words as he went to kiss his neck. Michael reluctantly pulled away.

“But what about your dad?” Michael asked. He knew Alex’s dad was the worst. He was an outspoken advocate for Antarians not being allowed in the same school as humans or even on TV. He didn’t want his children to be exposed to them. Yet, Alex didn’t seem to share that sentiment.

Alex pulled away, looking at him with those penetrating eyes that made his stomach swoop and tie in a million knots. They were eyes that could kill, but eyes that made him feel more welcome and adored than anything else in the world.

“You’re worth the risk,” Alex said like it was easy. Michael let out a slow breath of air, taking in his words. His sweet, adoring words. You’re worth the risk.

Michael tried to move in for a kiss, but Alex’s hand grabbed his jaw and stopped him.

“Am I?” Alex demanded, his voice deep and hushed and making Michael’s head spin. The grip on his jaw got a little gentler, his calloused thumb rubbing across his cheek.

“Yes.”

He couldn’t say no if he wanted to.

.2.

“Is there a reason you’re hitting someone who is too nice to hit back?”

Michael had never been more thankful to see Alex than he was at that moment. Wyatt Long had him pinned to the locker, his forearm wedged beneath his chin. His lip was already split after the rude welcoming of a fist to the face the moment he, Max, and Isobel went their separate ways.

“What? And you are?” Wyatt asked, pulling away and letting Michael crumple to the ground. He watched up with a new kind of fear as Wyatt neared Alex. Though this happened relatively regularly and Alex had swooped in to save not only him but a handful of other Antarians from human assholes, it always made Michael nervous. He knew Alex didn’t care, but he had enough scars and bruises that doused his skin. He didn’t like seeing more.

“Oh, c’mon, you know I am. How many times do I have to send you to the nurse before you learn your lesson? It’s honestly pretty sad,” Alex said, smirking as his shoulders squared. Michael wanted to get to his feet, to stand up for himself, but he didn’t have it in him. Alex was brave and he wasn’t. The end.

“Are you gay or somethin’?” Wyatt accused. Alex licked his bottom lip as he took a step closer.

“Why, you interested?”

Michael watched in horror as Wyatt shoved Alex away and Alex responded by decking him in the face.  He scrambled to his feet and out of the way just in time for Alex to slam Wyatt into the lockers, a carbon copy of how Wyatt had just had him.

“Learn your fuckin’ place, Long,” Alex said in a sweet tone, shaking his head before he offered one last push and stepped away. Wyatt kept glaring but never tried anything as Alex picked up Michael’s bag off the ground and led the way.

“Alex, he could’ve hurt you,” Michael grumbled as he followed him to the music room. A few people gave them glances, but none stayed too long. The moment Alex glared their way, they’d look away. Michael had a lot of feelings about that.

“I’d like to see him try. I grew up with three brothers who regularly beat the shit out of me. I’m not gonna stop ‘til I win, especially when it’s that asshole. You should’ve heard what he said to Maria the other day. Like, he’s, like, a next-level racist and homophobe and xenophobe. Let me hit him a couple of times,” Alex insisted, closing the door to the music room after him.

“I just… I don’t want you doing that stuff because of me,” Michael said, crossing his arms over his chest. Alex smiled, nearing him and gently touching the cut on Michael’s lip.

“I know you don’t like it, but I don’t like seeing you hurt. I know you, I know you just take what he gives. And that’s so fucking strong of you to do, it’s ballsy, but… he deserves to get hit. You don’t,” Alex explained, moving to give him a kiss that stung a little but still felt nice. Alex’s kisses were always nice. “But, hey, look, if you want me to stop, then I will. Seriously. As much as I hate it, I will.”

“No, you don’t have to completely stop helping me. Just… just don’t instigate him more, please?” Michael asked, letting his hands rest against Alex’s chest. They’d be alone in the room for at least 5 more minutes, he could touch for just a second.

“Done,” Alex agreed, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek before pulling him into a hug. Michael melted into his grasp. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“You’re telekinetic. I’ve seen you in action. You could literally crush him. Why don’t you do anything?” Alex asked, twirling a curl around his finger. Michael breathed slowly, hugging him a little tighter.

“And give them a reason to hate me even more? No thanks,” he grumbled. Alex laughed and squeezed him.

In some ways, Alex felt a little like his idol. He was so strong and didn’t care about what anyone said. He didn’t have many friends, but Michael knew all the Antarians in the school liked him. He took everything in stride. He was amazing. He was a hero.

And somehow he wanted Michael.

.3.

“What’s wrong with you?” Isobel asked, swatting Michael’s hand away from his mouth so he’d stop chewing on his nails. He barely even looked at her.

Instead, his eyes were trained on Alex’s locker which had the words ‘alien fag’ written across it in bright red paint.

Alex hadn’t gotten to school yet, but Michael was dreading it. He couldn’t predict how he would react to it. Maybe he would laugh or maybe he’d be pissed. It was just something that a little too close to home. No one was supposed to know about them, but this…

“Oh, yeah, his locker. It’s so stupid how people think being nice is some big crime,” she scoffed, shaking her head. Michael curled into himself even more.

“But… but what if‒” Michael cut himself off, groaning as his head tilted back against the lockers. Isobel slammed hers closed, turning to him with a smirk.

“Why? You think that’s about you?” she laughed. Michael felt his cheeks flush and he was instantly reminded of the night before when Alex had snuck in through his window after his parents had gone to sleep. It was definitely about him even if they didn’t know it was about him. He didn’t know how he was supposed to continue keeping it a secret when everyone would be giving him glances. “No offense, Michael, but Alex wouldn’t go after someone like you. He’s, like, a badass. He would only go after badasses and, I love you, but you’re a baby.”

“Yeah, no, you’re right. Definitely. He-he definitely would never, ever hook up with me. Ever. Absolutely. And, and I would never even want to. I mean, he’s so, like, not my type?” Michael fumbled out, his cheeks burning hotter with each word. Isobel’s eyebrows pulled together, but then her lips parted slowly as her eyes widened.

”No,” she gasped, swatting at his arm all over again, “Oh my God! Michael!”

“He’s here,” Michael said once he spotted Alex, hoping to drop the conversation. Maybe she’d forget it. He hoped so.

Alex walked down the hall with Liz and Maria, the trio laughing until they weren’t. It died down when the locker came into view. Michael tried his best to become one with the lockers when Alex took a step closer, touching the paint. He couldn’t see his face and he was slightly more than terrified to see it.  Especially when his friends looked at each other with nervous eyes.

“Michael, come on, what the fuck have you been hiding?” Isobel urged, pulling on his sleeve like a toddler. His eyes were on Alex.

Alex who opened the locker and got his books like it wasn’t a big deal.

“Alex, are you okay?” Maria asked him, reaching out to touch his arm. He turned around with an amused smile on his face.

“I’m fine. They have no creativity, it’s honestly sad,” he said simply, linking arms with them and proudly making his way down the hall. He gave Michael a wink when he passed. Jesus Christ.

“Michael,” Isobel whined.

“I-I gotta go to class,” he said, slipping away from her. He couldn’t understand why Alex took it that easy. Shouldn’t he have been insulted? Or at least scared? What would happen if someone found out about them because of this? He seemed to not be taking it seriously.

Michael pulled out his phone and quickly sent a text his way.

M: are you actually okay? What if someone finds out?

A: I'm fine dont worry no ones gonna know. See you after school? ;) xx

.4.

Michael knew Alex well. They spent most of their time together and Michael had learned just how ballsy he could be. Alex was bold and unapologetically himself. He existed somewhere between “I don’t care what you think of me” and “well if you’re going to talk, I might as well give you something to talk about”. He was an instigator at his core. So Michael really shouldn’t have been surprised when, after a weekend of barely hearing from him, Alex strolled into school sporting t-shirt with alien fag written across it in the colors of the rainbow.

“Holy shit,” Isobel gasped and Michael instantly used her as a shield as the halls parted like the Red Sea to make way for Alex Manes. For the first time since Alex approached him the first time, Michael was scared of him.

Alex didn’t deserve the ostracization that came with being with him, but Michael didn’t deserve to be forced into it either. It was one thing if it was a mutual decision or if it was an accident. This was neither. This was Alex parading proudly what people already suspected when people knew how many times he’d come to Michael’s rescue. This was too close.

Panic built in his chest.

“Izzy, Izzy, get me out of here,” he begged, squeezing her shoulder desperately. She barely had to give him a second glance before she gripped his hand and swept him away.

It seemed to get harder and harder to breathe, even when they exited the building and fast-walked to make it to the back of the gym before he got too bad. The moment they made it there, he sat on the ground and put his hands on his head. Isobel sat in front of him, holding his knees as they breathed in and out in time together.

“I take it he did not consult you before doing that?” she asked quietly once he regulated his breathing again. Michael shook his head.

“No. I don’t know why he does stuff like that. I-I get that he doesn’t care and that’s cool and all, I like that about him, but that… that affects me. I’m not ready to tell anyone yet,” he murmured, pulling his knees close.

“So you admit that you’re banging Alex Manes?” Isobel teased. Michael glared her way. “Sorry, sorry. Maybe you should talk to him about it.”

“And say what? ‘Hey, you’re really confident and, while that makes me want to fuck you, when you’re overconfident about me, it makes me want to die in a hole’?” Michael scoffed, but from her lack of reaction, she expected him to say just that. “I can’t say that!”

“Why not? It’s honest.”

“Honesty is just gonna get me dumped,” he grumbled. Isobel gave him a sad little smile, squeezing his knee gently.

They were only able to get a few extra seconds of silence before Alex rounded the corner, smiling easily when he caught Michael’s eyes. He spared Isobel a hesitant look before nearing them with that confident swagger that was making Michael feel nauseous.

“There you are,” he grinned, sitting beside him. Michael closed his eyes and bowed his head. “Everything okay?”

“I’m gonna leave you two to talk,” Isobel said, patting his leg and kissing the top of his head before she stood and left. He stupidly wished she hadn’t.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Alex asked softly once Isobel was gone, wrapping his arm around Michael’s shoulders. What was he supposed to say? He wasn’t Alex, he wasn’t confident. How was he supposed to tell him that he wanted him to stop being so much of himself? “You… you don’t like the shirt, right? I’m sorry, I’ll change.”

How did he say that’s not all?

“Okay, thank you,” Michael whispered instead, still not lifting his head.

Alex waited a minute before grabbing his chin and forcing him to look at him. It made it that much harder. Alex was beautiful and had a demanding presence. How was he supposed to hurt his feelings when he looked like that?

“Alright, tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing.”

“Oh, so we’re lying now? I thought we were all about honesty,” Alex scoffed, narrowing his eyes at him.  Michael gulped, familiar tears welling up in his eyes. He was such a baby. Alex was so cool and he was… “Michael, talk to me, seriously.”

“I don’t like when you do stuff like that without talking to me. I-It’s gonna make people start finding out about us and I’m not ready for that. I’m not ready for people to know. At least not people who are going to make it their goal to hate me more. You-you scare me sometimes, when you do stuff like that. I like when you’re confident. I just… don’t like it when it puts me in a bad situation,” Michael grumbled, looking everywhere except for his face. Alex’s grip loosened before it dropped.

Michael hesitantly looked at him to see him looking almost confused. Go figure the one time he actually admits when something bothers him, it goes bad. It’ll always go bad, that’s how life works. Everything goes bad.

“I’m sorry I made you feel like that,” Alex said softly, mirroring Michael’s position against the wall. Again, his breathing started to pick up and his bottom lip quivered involuntarily.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you, I just-”

“No, no, hey, I’m sorry. I’ll talk to you more before I do shit. That’s what a relationship is, right? Talking it out, talking before we do things. And I know that we aren’t public and we don’t plan to be widely open until, like, way later, so I shouldn’t have done this. It just pisses me off when people think it’s wrong to be anything other than what they are. I mean, I love you, Michael. You’re not an insult. I wanted to throw it in their face,” Alex explained.

Michael sniffled, “You love me?” Alex rolled his eyes, but gave a sweet smile.

“You’re getting off-topic. We’re gonna talk more, right?”

“Right,” Michael agreed, nodding and feeling a little bit lighter than he had when the day started. The two stared at each other for a moment before meeting halfway in a hug.

Alex gave great hugs and it was easy to melt into it. He considered asking to skip class for the day, but decided it against it. His mom would never let him live that down if she found out he skipped. So, instead, Michael hugged him tighter and then let him go so he could take his shirt off and replace it with the jacket tucked in his bag.

“I love you too, by the way,” Michael said as they stood up. Alex grinned and leaned in for a kiss.

“I’m glad.”

.5.

“Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

Michael looked over to Alex’s innocent little smile. He had his feet in Michael’s lap which usually wouldn’t be a problem, but he was doing a lot more than just innocently using him as a footrest.

“I have a biology test tomorrow and you are distracting me,” Michael said, watching Alex furrow his eyebrows in confusion even as he pressed his foot harder between Michael’s thighs. He worked hard to keep silent, dropping his book to move his hands to Alex’s foot. “Also, my parents are downstairs.”

“Sounds like a whole flight of stairs between them and us,” Alex said, moving his foot to pull the chair towards his place on the bed.

“Alex,” he breathed slowly, finding it harder and harder to resist. Why did he have to be so hot? “Seriously, I have a test. And so do you. We… you came over to study.” Michael tried, he really did, but the closer Alex came, the more his excuses seemed shitty in comparison to him.

“I mean,” Alex breathed, leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth, “I can leave. I just wanted to spend some… special time with my boyfriend.”

“Alex,” Michael whined, helplessly gravitating from the chair and to the bed. Alex wasted no time, pulling him into the little twin-sized bed and moving him so he was trapped between the wall and Alex’s body. He couldn’t say he could complain.

Alex’s kisses had quickly become some of Michael’s favorites. He’d had a few kisses here and there, one of them being with Isobel which was actually revolting, but he had never had anything like Alex. All of his were deep and slow and used tongue which was fun. Alex was the first person he’d ever really wanted to touch and be touched by‒and it always felt like a blessing when it actually happened.  He couldn’t think of a nicer, gentler, or prettier person to lose his virginity to.

“Did you lock the door?” Alex whispered, his leg hooking over Michael’s hip and his fingers sliding lower.

“Um, no,” Michael breathed, his whole body heating up as he chose to be confident for once and slid his hand down Alex’s jeans first. He immediately checked to make sure it was okay and saw Alex smirking, so he grabbed him.

“You should probably lock the door if you’re gonna do that, baby,” he said hotly, a shaky breath following immediately after. He was making a whole lot of eye contact and it was making Michael’s head spin.

“You want me to get up?”

“I was thinking my telekinetic boyfriend could, uh, lock the door with his mind,” Alex suggested. Michael smiled, giving him a slow kiss as he tilted his head to secure the lock.

Except it didn’t budge.

He tried it a couple more times and when it still seemed to be fighting him, he pulled away from Alex to look over at it. He used the hand that wasn’t in Alex’s jeans to give it a little more concentration to flip the lock and it did. But immediately unlocked again.

“What the‒”

“Here’s your clean clothes, Michael, and I told you to keep the door unlocked.”

Michael nearly pushed Alex off the bed when his mother, Mara, let herself into the room. She stood in the doorway, a far too motherly look on her face and her hand firmly on her hip. Michael sat up, trying to make himself look presentable while Alex mainly focused on catching his breath even though he was clearly about two seconds away from laughing. Michael thought about actually pushing him off the bed this time.

“Looks like a lot of studying going on here,” she said, gesturing between the two of them before the books that were on the floor floated neatly to his dresser.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Guerin,” Alex said, lifting himself off the bed and walking over to her with his hand outstretched. Michael’s head hit the wall and he considered jumping out the window. “I’m Alex, Alex Manes.”

Mara blinked a few times before sharply turning her gaze to Michael. “Manes? As in Jesse Manes?” Michael sunk back to the bed with a groan.

“Uh, yes, ma’am.”

“And you’re dating my son? An Antarian?”

“Mom!” Michael begged, looking to her in desperation. Still, Alex was all smiles.

“Yes, ma’am. But, you know, I can assure you I don’t exactly subscribe to my father’s politics. Not even just with the ‘no alien’ rule, but, you know, the ‘no queer’ rule. He’s actually kind of the worst, so,” he laughed, turning his stupidly beautiful smile on Michael.

“Well, Alex, would you like to stay for dinner? That is, if my son can understand what an unlocked door means,” Mara said, giving him a tight smile. Alex had the audacity to laugh.

“I would love to stay for dinner, thank you. And we’ll even leave the door open instead, if you’d like,” he said and it took a lot not to pelt him with pillows. She smiled.

“I like you. I like this one, Michael,” Mara said, opening the door wide before walking out and leaving the boys alone. Michael immediately shoved his face into the pillow, groaning loudly. Not only did she ruin a really great moment, but Alex was just way too okay with it.

“Why are you freaking out? It’s not like we were naked. And I think we covered up what was happening pretty elegantly,” Alex teased, not-so-sweetly swatting him on the stomach. Michael moved the pillow to glare at him. “What?”

“Remember when I said sometimes your ballsy-ness is annoying? This is one of those times,” Michael grumbled, letting Alex laugh and pull his head into his lap.

“Michael, baby, have you looked at me?” Alex asked and he nodded slowly, “Your mother just came in on you not only making out with a guy, but one who has piercings and makeup and a lot of black. On top of the fact that I’m human. And I’m my father’s son. So it was either that or let your mother hate me for the rest of our relationship.”

“Why do you have to be right all the damn time?”

.6.

“Tell your mom thanks for lunch because holy shit.”

Michael watched with a smile as Alex shoveled his mother’s leftovers into his mouth as they sat behind the gym. He was a little too aware of Alex’s food situation. His father would get so much and it was first come first serve with five grown-ass men in the house. He’d gotten into a habit of food hoarding, but even then, sometimes he didn’t get enough. Ever since dinner where Michael had to begrudgingly explain to his parents that he was bisexual, he’d been asking his mother to make lunch for two.

“She will probably say you’re welcome.”

After the whole coming out scene, they told him that he didn’t have to, that they put it together which made it even more embarrassing. He was endlessly reassured that no one cared about that, but that they did care about his safety. Michael’s parents gave them both a long talk about being careful because they were dealing with a couple of different layers of stupidity. It was over an hour of discussing how they planned to handle it if people found out and, if the time came, how they planned to make it public. There was even a lot of reassuring that they cared about not only Michael’s safety but Alex’s as well. It was long and weird, but oddly cathartic and while Michael came out of it feeling a little flustered, Alex was very visibly in one of the best moods he’d ever seen. He had at least 30 texts of Alex gushing over how much he loved his parents. He came over nearly every day now.

“Did I tell you I got an interview?” Alex said, smiling even with a mouthful of food. “Get this, it’s at the UFO Emporium.” Michael snorted.

“Alex, that place is such bullshit. They’ve tried to get it shut down like seven times,” he chuckled. The place opened the year after the crash and started out as a place for humans to learn about Antar. However, it really wasn’t accurate and it became the subject of controversy from the moment Antarians started becoming a permanent fixture on Earth. That being said, it still hadn’t closed. Michael went there with Isobel and Max a few times purely for the laughs. “Why do you want to work there?”

“It’ll get my dad off my dick about getting a job. Might as well get a job at a place that literally has, like, no customers,” Alex shrugged, wiggling his eyebrows at Michael, “You can hang out all the time.”

“Alex!”

Both boys whipped their heads around to see Liz Ortecho headed their way with a smile. Michael could feel the panic in him rising at the sight of her. He knew she was nice and that Max had the world’s biggest crush on her, but he didn’t know what she knew about him and Alex. He still wasn’t ready for everyone in the world to know, but it would be fair for one of Alex’s friends to know since Isobel knew. It was a mess. He was a mess.

“Hey, Liz,” Alex said. She plopped down in front of them in a weirdly graceful way. Michael remembered Max mentioning she was a dancer. “You stalking me or something?”

She rolled her eyes dramatically. “No, but Maria isn’t here today and I didn’t want to eat lunch alone and I know you come back here to eat for some reason, so I came to find you,” Liz paused, eyeing Michael with intrigue, “Well, now I know the reason, but can I still stay?”

Alex turned to Michael and asked him silently if she could as if Michael could ever be rude enough to say no. Even if he wanted to say no, he wouldn’t have been able to.

“I don’t mind,” Michael said. She grinned so bright that it became exceptionally clear why Max was so infatuated with her.

“Yay! Hi, I’m Liz,” she introduced, holding her hand out to him. Michael hesitantly shook it. Alex snorted.

“Michael.”

“I know, Alex talks about you,” she said. Michael felt his face flush and turned to Alex who didn’t look embarrassed at all. Did he ever get embarrassed? Did he ever get scared?

“Nothing to worry about,” Alex chuckled, reaching out to wipe a crumb off the corner of Michael’s lips. Michael’s eyes widened. “Relax.”

When Michael looked back towards Liz, she was still smiling as she ate her food. She didn’t seem to think any of this was weird, but she didn’t seem to be curious either. She took it as if this was just a thing that happened.

“Max talks about you too,” Michael said softly. Her eyebrows raised at that and her cheeks got a little red.

Okay, maybe she wasn’t anything to be scared of.

.+1.

“I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.”

Michael’s giggle rippled through the air as Alex smothered him in kisses. While Alex usually came over to his house now, it was basically impossible to do anything other than the most G-rated kisses because of his mother always being around. They wanted something more than that and their options had been either driving out to the desert or coming to the shed. They’d chosen the shed because they didn’t want to suffer the 30-minute drive.

Alex let his hand slide down the front of Michael’s bare chest, breathing heavily with the biggest smile against Michael’s neck. It was heavenly. Even when he pulled away and they had to get dressed so Michael wouldn’t miss curfew, they couldn’t stop smiling. They hadn’t properly hooked up in a few weeks and, fuck, it felt good to just feel Alex again. He was so ready for a lifetime of that.

Or maybe that wouldn’t happen.

The door flew open right after Michael buttoned up his jeans. He was still standing shirtless as Jesse Manes stood in the doorway. When he looked at Alex, he was frozen. There was fear in his eyes and all over his face. It was something Michael had never seen before and, honestly, it was the most terrifying thing in the world. Alex was always strong and calm. Alex wasn’t ever scared.

Except Alex was scared now and Michael didn’t know how to help him.

“I can’t believe this,” Mr. Manes said, taking a step into the shed, “Under my roof.”

Michael kept looking between Mr. Manes and Alex. He was waiting for Alex to say something, to argue, to fight back like he always did. Alex didn’t budge.

It happened fast. Mr. Manes had Alex pinned to the wall by his throat. Alex was crying and shaking his head and begging him to stop. Michael was overwhelmed with hearing Alex so upset, hearing Alex cry a ’Dad, please’ with no sign of it actually working. None of this made sense.

But Michael had a decision to make. He could either be the coward he always was and just let this happen, or he could finally be confident and strong. He’d seen Alex do it a million times when he needed him and now Alex needed him. Alex needed him to be strong.

So he would be.

“Don’t touch him!” Michael shouted, moving forward and pushing Mr. Manes off of Alex. Except, what could that do, really?

He grabbed Michael by the arm and, in one fell swoop, grabbed a hammer and swung it back. The claw end buried into Michael’s bones, pinning him to the table he was leaning against. His scream mixed with the sound of Alex’s, blurring into nothingness. He couldn’t see, he couldn’t hear, he just hurt.

“I don’t want to see this in my house again, do you understand me?” Mr. Manes said. Alex was sobbing.

“Yes, sir.”

Michael was trying to breathe, trying not to focus on the fact his entire left arm was going numb from pain. He needed acetone. No, he needed his mom.

“Oh my God,” Alex choked when he got closer. Michael was taking in shallow breaths as he lifted his head enough to get a look at his hand. The claw was buried in his hand, hooking just enough to the table beneath it. Holy fuck. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Michael, oh my God.”

“Can you call my mom?” Michael whispered out, unable to take his eyes off his hand. How is that possible? How can one man have enough strength to break through all his bones and muscles? How could someone do that?

“I-I need to get you out of here first, your mom can’t come onto my dad’s property,” Alex sniffled, still crying so hard that it was hard to understand him. Michael wanted to be annoyed that he was the one keeping calm when he was pinned to a table, but he kept reminding himself that Alex had done it for him a ton of times. He could do it for Alex.

He could be strong for Alex.

“Okay,” Michael whispered out, closing his eyes and thought hard about his mom. He called to her, telling her that he needed her. It would take her 15 minutes to get to him, he just needed to get to the curb.

“Michael, I’m so sorry,” Alex cried. He wasn’t touching him, he was staying away. Michael tried to look at him.

“I’m okay,” he said and Alex let out a whine, covering his face. This was hard. How did Alex stay so strong all the time? Michael gulped, taking another heavy breath before he looked at his hand again.

Slowly, he worked the tip of the claw out of the table. It hurt like a bitch and he wanted to scream, but he figured that would just scare Alex and he didn’t want that. Once he got it out, he stood up with the hammer still buried in his hand. He brought it to his chest, hoping to minimize the blood and the pain.

“Alex,” he said calmly. It had to be the adrenaline. “Alex, c’mon, let’s go.”

When Alex moved his hands, his face was dotted with Michael’s blood. He focused on his breath and grabbed the back of Alex’s neck, pressing his forehead to his. Alex choked out another sob.

“C’mon. It’s gonna be okay. My mom’s coming.”

They went to the curb and waited. Michael managed to keep up his confidence for Alex until his mom arrived and the full force of the pain really hit. It suddenly made a little more sense of how Alex was able to keep his cool all the other times he’d seen him do it. He could handle anything that wasn’t his father.

So that just meant that Michael could handle that part for him.

[itsbuckysworld]

My son, Spencer.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Guest Appearance: None. World: Single dad AU Genre: Fluff Word Count: 2577

Warnings: bad writing.

Summary: Bucky didn't mean for Y/N to meet his son like this, but maybe this was exactly how it was supposed to happen. 

Prompt: Single Parent/Babysitter. written for @flightofthefantasies​ Beat the Heat writing challenge that I almost missed the deadline for. This is sorta rushed between orientation and the hurricane, I’m so sorry! 

↤↤↤↤↤  ↦↦↦↦↦

Bucky loved Spencer. He loved him with every bone in his body, every fibre of his being. Spencer was his little ray of sunshine, his little superman. No matter what, Spencer came first, which was why Bucky hasn’t properly dated in a little over 4 years.

Be it because being a single dad took all of his time and focus, or because, just like last time a relationship started to get serious, the mention of Spence had made the girl run to the hills. And so, Bucky vowed, for little Spencer’s sake and his own, daddy wouldn’t introduce him any lady friends until it was serious.

That’s why Y/N, the girl he’s crushing on and been on a couple casual dates with, had no idea Spencer even existed. Sure things were getting a little serious, but Bucky didn’t deem it over the seriousness threshold that meant Y/N meets Spencer.

He didn’t think it was a good idea, at the beginning, but Sam had insisted and, not knowing what to do, Bucky decided to give his plan a try, to date and not say anything about Spencer. And it had worked, for a little bit, but only because Bucky felt awful not telling her, despite how new it all was. Spencer was too important, so he had decided, even if Y/N meeting Spencer wasn’t at all on the table until way down the line, that he would at least tell Y/N the truth. That he was a father of a very energetic 6 year old that meant the world to him.

It was scary. He had tried and backed out a couple of times. Others it hadn’t been the right moment. Maybe she’d cut whatever their relationship was building up to short. Maybe she’d run. He didn’t know, but she had to know about Spencer. He was going to tell her today, and maybe have them meet in a month or two, he hadn’t yet decided.

But one thing was for sure. He certainly did not plan or want it to be in T-30 minutes.

Bucky scurried around his place, trying to have it clean, and dialing every contact on his phone. Babysitter had bailed on him last minute. Steve couldn’t pick Spencer up. Sam couldn’t take him until in about an hour, when it would be too late, and Natasha would have taken him, but she would have ended up dropping him back off in about 40 minutes, couldn’t keep him for long. Soon he was out of friends to call, out of family members to ask favours for, and before he knew it, Y/N had texted him she was on his way to pick him up for whatever they had planned today and Spencer was running around half naked, fruit cup forgotten in the kitchen.

Before he knew it, there was a knock on his door and he had time to take one deep breath. Nothing more. It was now or never.

He looked disheveled and exhausted when he opened the door, and Y/N gave him a confused look. Was he okay? Before she could ask, he interjected.

“Uh, change of plans… There’s something I have to tell you” And with that he opened up the door, revealing the little rascal hanging onto his leg.

There wasn’t any yelling, or running – at least not yet – no shocked faces either, as he sat on the couch with her, and prompted Spencer to leave with a “Why don’t you go get the dinosaur coloring book so we can show daddy’s friend Y/N, yeah?” and with that the little boy ran, the promise of a good 5 minutes without the kid around – the coloring book in question was very well hidden, it would take him a hot minute to find – so he could explain to a wide-eyed Y/N what was happening.

“So uh… yeah. That’s Spencer–” Bucky gulped and he’d think his saliva turned into a ball of iron with how hard it was to swallow, but he somehow pushed it down and found the strength to continue – “My son”

“Come again?” was all Y/N could say and Bucky sighed deeply. It was now or… Well, it was now or nothing.

“I was going to tell you. Remember the other night when we went to the movies? I got that emergency call from work? Or that day at the park and you had to rush to get to your grandma’s?” Y/N nods along, staring at his blue eyes, not wanting to miss a single detail. “Yeah so… I wanted to tell you before you met him, it’s just… No one could watch him while we went to the museum today so...”

Bucky’s head hangs low, as he plays nervously with his fingers on his lap. He’s ashamed to say the least. How must he look to her now? Like a terrible father. A liar. A fraud. A weirdo. It was a matter of time before she told him she didn’t want to go on any more dates with him. And he would have to be okay with that… It wouldn’t be the first time he had to… Move on, act like nothing ever happened and pedal on through. For him and Spencer. He couldn’t afford pausing his life to weep a breakup. No matter how serious it was.

God, why did he listen to Sam’s stupid advice?

“James” he sees her hand over his fidgeting fingers on his lap, and is prompted by her silence to look up and meet her eyes, guilty and sad. He doesn’t think she’s called him James in a long while. Maybe that’s bad news.

“I’m horrible, I know. I should have told you sooner, I get it if you’re mad at me, and I understand if you’d like to leave. I-”

“Bucky, you’re fine” and her tone is so sweet it almost makes him melt. But nothing else can be said as Spencer returns with his coloring book in one hand, a box of crayons in the other “Talk about it later” she says, and there’s silence.  

If Y/N is actually upset, she hides it well. Instead she’s getting off the couch and kneeling in front of the coffee table to color with Spence and she plays along as he points to every dinosaur and names it with confidence. He really loves dinosaurs. Bucky mimics her actions and sits on the other side of his son, proud of how smart he is, yet terrified this is the first and last time Spencer will see Y/N. He can only pray it turns out okay, for his son’s sake.

------

If anything, Y/N’s shocked.

Shocked that he never told her, but at the same time, the more she thinks about it, the more she can see where he was coming from. Her sister did the same when she got back to dating after having her daughter. Not everyone feels comfortable going into a relationship where the other person has a child, and unfortunately it drives a lot of single parents to have to do similar things. Would she have wanted to know sooner? Yes, she can’t lie. But she can’t lie either and say that it would have changed anything.

Spencer is a carbon copy of his father. She can’t help but stare at the two of them as they effortlessly chat and draw. Not only are his chocolate curls the same deep brown as his dad’s. And his lashes so full and long and soft, making the same hue of vibrant blue pop out. His chubby cheeks are adorable and they make Y/N wonder if Bucky had the same chubby cheeks when he was Spencer’s age.

Not only does he look like his dad, he seems to act like him too. Sweet and funny and adorable. The way his tongue pokes out as he focuses on coloring inside the lines makes her picture her first date with Bucky, as he focused just as hard to try and get her a silly toy from a machine at the carnival.

She doesn’t know where things with Bucky are going, at least not long term. They are… They just are something. It’s all so new yet so good. But as she finds herself laughing and playing with the sweet boy, she knows it wouldn’t have made much difference to learn about him yesterday or tomorrow. It didn’t change that Bucky was wonderful. If anything, it proved he was an amazing person. Caring and loving and… Bucky was just good. They could always take things slower, but Y/N knew one thing. She wanted things to keep going.

It’s 4pm when Spencer is taking his afternoon nap in his room, and Bucky has made Y/N and himself some tea as they sit on the couch, facing each other, knees touching and the nerves taking over Bucky’s gut all over again.

Y/N’s looking at him with a sweet tender look, and he doesn’t understand it. How is it that she’s still here like nothing has happened? He doesn’t know, but he’s glad.

“Spencer is such a sweet kid” is the first thing she says, nonchalantly, as she sips her tea.

Bucky sighs happily. “He is…” He runs a hand down his face and scoots closer to Y/N, placing a hand on her knee. “I’m so sorry I didn’t say anything. And that you had to meet him like this. Without any warning”

“You say that as if you were taking me to a hurricane.” He giggles along with her and stares into his tea cup, searching for God knows what. Silence reigns in the room for too long, and when she asks him why, he’s relieved to not hear judgement and hatred in her voice, but genuine curiosity instead.

And he tells the whole story. How it’s been him and Spence since he was born. How even though Spencer is the most important thing in the world to him, he doesn’t think he should feel guilty he wants to try his hand at love again, and how, sadly, he’s proven the theory that having a kid isn’t the best opener on a date. He hadn’t dated seriously in so long, but Y/N had appeared out of nowhere and he didn’t know what to do.

“I chickened out, thought you might… It’s whatever, I… I-I have to protect him first” he says and Y/N’s heart melts. It’s as if there’s a heart filter around Bucky all of a sudden. All he did, he did thinking about Spencer, about guarding him from any potential pain. So noble, so kind.

Y/N reached over, cupping his cheek in her palm, the soft stubble she had grown to really like on him, warm and fuzzy to the touch. And then she’s kissing him, deeply. Unlike any other kiss they had shared so far. It means a lot to her that he’d share this with her, but it means even more to Bucky that despite all the guilt he feels and the absolutely horrible plan of not telling her, she’s giving it a chance. Everything seemed to have turned out better than expected, so far.

Y/N bites her lip when they part, and it’s one of the cutest things Bucky’s ever seen. After holding Spencer for the first time, or when Spence finally said daddy for the first time. This moment, feeling like this, is kinda up there.

“Maybe we can take him to the museum next time?”

It’s like music to his ears. Shocking, for sure, but angelic. His lungs feel on fire, like he’s going to dissolve into a puddle if this keeps up. The sigh he expels is so deep and relieved and filled with adoration. 

“You want to go out with Spence?” he asks, incredulously, and Y/N nods eagerly. 

“Is that weird? Too fast? Too fast for sure… –” she pulls back a little, an apologetic look taking over her features – “It’s just an idea, if and when you’re comfortable with that” Bucky ponders it fondly.

“...Okay” finally he whispers, a grin appearing on his face that he can’t control. “Maybe later?” and Y/N nods again, understanding. Her fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck make shivers run down his spine.

Bucky starts to pull her in by her waist, almost prompting her up on his lap, for a repeat of that last kiss, that burning, intense, meaningful kiss. His lips are almost feeling the warmth of hers when there’s a thud behind them, and Bucky looks to find Spencer rubbing his eyes at the bottom of the stairs. Awake already.

“Daddy, can we watch the dinosaur movie?”

“Again buddy?” There’s no annoyance in his voice, if anything Bucky finds it amusing how his little boy could watch the same film over and over and over again without tiring. He supposes it’s a good thing it’s at least a very educational film. Spencer nods cutely, Y/N can’t help but ‘aww’ and clutch her chest in adoration. That little boy is too cute for his own good.

“I want Y/N to watch it too, can she stay?”

Bucky looks to you, mouth slightly open in surprise. You don’t have to, his eyes scream at you, but you wave him off and scoot to the other end of the couch, opening space for Spencer to sit in the middle and cuddle up to his dad. 

“A dinosaur movie? I’m in!” and Bucky smiles stupidly wide as Y/N helps Spencer up on the couch, his feet dangling off the edge and his tiny hand remains on her knee, where he placed it as support to hop on.

Correction, this is the cutest thing Bucky’s ever seen.

━━━━━━━

hope you enjoyed this rushed piece. FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED! 

HERES MY ASK

HERE’S MY MASTERLIST

Have a good day dearies! Take care if you’re in the Hurricane’s path!!!

Smooches, L xo <3

[mentalcase22]

I’ve had requests to provide some sort of character guide, so I figured that since I’m working from home and need a bit of a break from Writing, that I’d work on that.

Duncan Thomas - POV character.  Duncan has dark brown hair, has a nice, well-kept beard and is 6′3″.  He’s well endowed, at least 9.5″ 

Kelly Thomas - POV character.  She’s got classically red hair, green eyes, a cute ass, and perky breasts.  Maiden name, O'Sullivan.  She’s 5′2″   She’s one of my quintessential fantasy women.  Short... red-head.  Unf.

Kara Scofield - 5′1″.  She’s a carbon copy of Kelly, except she’s got blue eyes.  Kara is incredible in the bedroom once you get her going.  She’s insatiable, and very good at oral sex.  She hasn't had sex with a man besides Duncan since Chapter 13.  This was done intentionally, and mentioned only in passing

Marie Sanderson - Kelly’s friend.  Works in the the office with Kelly.  She and her husband are swingers.  She’s got black hair, shoulder length and wavy, she’s tall and thin, smaller sized breasts.  She’s 5′5″ with larger breasts than Kelly.  C cup.  29 years old.

Ed Sanderson - 40, 5'9”  He’s Marie’s Gynecologist husband and owns The Mess Around.

Mark Bakersfield - 30.  He’s shorter than Duncan.  He’s a smart-ass, fun loving guy.  He’s the eternal bachelor that gets surprised by a girl and falls hard for her.  He’s funny.

Drake Taylor  - A friend of Duncan’s from high school.  Drake is a lawyer.  He’s 30 years old.  Probably a little less than 6′ tall. He’s balding, so he shaves his head by choice.

Molly Taylor - Drake's wife. 5'4”, short light brown hair,and crystal blue eyes.  Molly used to be a nurse.  She’s 28.  She’s had a baby, and as such her body reflects that, but I think of her as that friend of your wife’s that you shouldn’t be attracted to, but are.

Derrek Taylor - Drake’s little brother.  He’s 27, and a carbon copy of Drake, except he’s got hair.

Dana Richardson - Molly's little sister.  Divorced. 26.  Light brown hair. Teacher.  Blue eyes.  Dana was intended to be a very dirty girl in the bedroom.  She loves anal sex, had a rape fantasy filmed at her behest, and will not say no to any realistic sexual request.

Erin Underwood - 22, Erin is the waitress that Mark, Drake, and Duncan hit on in the first chapter.  She develops a severe crush on Duncan.  She’s got a great ass, small tits, blonde.

Kimber Daniels - 22-24, She’s Erin’s best friend.  She works at the bar that Erin works at, as well as Double D’s.  She’s got spectacular, 38 DD breasts.  She’s taller than most of the other girls.

Heidi Edwards (Sullivan married name) – 28 years old, 5'6”, long hair, curly blonde, small breasts, great ass.  Heidi is Kelly’s friend from high school.  Her husband, Dale, cheated on her, so she left him.  She was originally intended to play a larger part in the story, but I decided to go in a different direction.  She’s a Masseuse by trade.  She's very submissive and was intended to be the Danielle role of live-in submissive to Kelly and Duncan.  She was also replaced by Amy, who I felt came out being described and fleshed out so much better.  Amy is incredibly easy to write about., Heidi always feels forced.  I’m not sure why.

Danielle Baker - 18.  She’s the quintessential blonde right out of high school.  After discovering sex, she’s likely more insatiable than any of the other female characters.  Very submissive.  Long blonde hair, blue eyes.  She’s not dumb, just oblivious, excitable, and ditzy.

Becky Murphy - She’s a pixie cut blonde that is currently dating Mark.  She’s thin, but not skinny.  She’s likes to do slutty things to get under Mark’s skin.  She doesn’t do it to embarrass or humiliate him, more to get a reaction.  She doesn’t realize it, but she likes being someone’s and being used by others.

Rachel Murphy - Becky’s sister.  2 years younger, though I never nailed down their ages.  She’s incredibly tight, vaginally.  She’s based off a girl I knew and dated that had that very condition, only more pronounced.  I always thought it would be interesting to flesh out a character that was like her, but also a size-queen.  As for Rachel, she’s slutty, and doesn’t like Becky’s short hair, so hers is kept long.  She likes being in a relationship with her sister and Mark, but Becky is very reluctant to call it that.

Zeke Winger - Cop.  He’s blonde, 5′10″ or so.  Originally, the idea for Zeke was that he was a device to help bring Kelly out of her shell.  I wanted a cop that was overstepping his bounds and sort of free-using Kelly.  I’ve also been fascinated with other stories that feature a cuckolded POV character.  I don’t want to read about it in my own voice.  I want to watch someone else being humiliated.  That’s where he came from.  He’s all to happy to be verbally, physically, and even emotionally abused.

Amy Winger - Zeke’s wife, also a cop.  Amy wasn’t intended to be nearly as important to the story as she turned out to be.  She’s blonde, taller than Kelly, and intended to be a stunningly gorgeous blonde.  I started picturing her as looking like Gretchen Mol, in Rounders, and that’s what her hair is described as.  Curly, blonde, relatively short.  She’s got larger breasts than Kelly.  I like to write her as someone that enjoys being submissive, but enjoys being treated like a whore even more since it humiliates her husband and turns him on.  It’s the idea of a happy marriage and two people that do things for each other, but are also a cuckold and a cuckquean.

Steve Van Heuven - He’s a friend of Danielle’s from home.  18.

Stacy San Miguel - Half-Hispanic, also a friend of Danielle’s. 18.  Her oral skills are unmatched.

Conner - Danielle’s boyfriend, also from her home town.

The following are minor characters.

Paul - Heidi's boyfriend.  I haven’t described him yet.

Howard Sellers - Kelly's Boss. Married

Bob Deekins - Marie's Boss.

Paris - African American Hostess at Double D's (Pink work clothes)

Cooper - Kelly's college boyfriend.

Polly - rocker chick from Duncan's first shoot

Sara - tiny girl from Duncan's second shoot.

Casey - athletic girl from Duncan's 3rd shoot.

*****

Cross over characters:

These are characters from the other story, My Sister Made Me.  I’m describing them as they have been viewed from the POV of Duncan and Kelly.

Samantha Andresani - Blonde, 18.  She works at Double D’s.  Pretty, but has a sadness about her.

Alex and Toni Andresani -  18, both of have long dark hair, twins.  Incredible bodies.  They are potentially interested in doing a photo shoot with Camille.

[kenkamishiro]

Ishida’s Q&A comments from YJ compilation, Part 8

Once again Ishida continuing to give answers that don’t actually answer the questions at all lol.

For anyone who doesn’t know about the relevant Questions to Ishida contest, please read here. You can start from Part 1 here.

The recent set of zakki:re and interview translations take a lot of time and effort, so if you enjoyed it please reblog or leave a like. Thank you!

2016

No. 1

Still 1 month left of this year! What’s something you still have left to do for 2015?

The storyboard.

Good luck.

No. 2

Sensei, please share with us a piece of news that was important to you in 2015!

I forget.

I wasn’t feeling so great in 2015.

No. 3

December 17 is Airplane Day! Now then, please share with us a memory you have that is related to airplanes!

I like the window seats.

Probably that time on the plane to head to the New Years party, when the staff was forced to stop because of me...

[T/N: Referring to his New Year’s party escapades in the volume 6 omake.]

No. 4-5

December 24 is Christmas Eve! Now then, please share with us a present that you want now as an adult!

I don’t need one since I’m an adult.

Even adults want presents too, you know!

No. 6-7

When you think of New Year’s Day...you think of New Year’s money!! Please share with us one way you spent the money you received from New Year’s when you were a child!

On games.

I was jealous of other people’s families since I didn’t have a lot of relatives.

No. 8

Sensei, please tell us your philosophy when it comes to food!

I think of meals as work.

I consider meals as work when I’m eating alone. When I go with people I eat whatever I like.

No. 9

January 28 is the birthday of the late Komatsu Sakyou! Now then, please share with us one of your favourite sci-fi works!

Gantz.

It’s not Star Wars...

No. 10

Please share with us one aspect or behaviour of the opposite sex that you unconsciously care about!

Their face.

How they use social media.

No. 11

Please share with us a Twitter account that you’re most interested in now!

Inagawa Junji-san’s for his ghost story tweets.

I find that accounts of artists are helpful for studying.

No. 12

Please share with us one of your favourite genres/videos that you end up watching on video streaming sites.

I got Netflix so I could watch Terrace House.

I still use it.

No. 13

If you were to ever film a Taiga drama who would you pick as the main character?

Siebold.

But why?

[T/N: A Taiga drama is a type of long-running TV drama period piece, often produced by NHK.]

No. 14

Graduation season is in full bloom! Now then, please share with us one of your favourite graduation songs!

“Lion” by Amano Tsuki.

Uh-huh, yup.

[T/N: "Lion” was one of the songs included in Ishida’s Spotify playlist.]

No. 15

Sensei, if you could decide the design of the 10,000 yen bill, who would it be a portrait of?

A cat.

A cat...?

No. 16

Today is Weekly Manga Day! Please tell us your number one favourite manga that is released weekly!!

I’m curious about what Ooima Yoshitoki-san will draw for her next manga.

Just how much do you care?

No. 17

Sensei, please share with us one thing that makes you go, “Man, I wanna go see this,” now?

Commentary on demonstration boards for shogi.

I went to one! Man, was it interesting.

No. 18

The final day of March is...Orchestra Day! Now then Sensei, please share with us a memory you have that’s related to musical instruments!

I bought a piano recently, and I’ve been playing it almost every day.

And I still play it.

No. 19

Entrance ceremony season has arrived! Now then, please tell us about a schoolteacher who’s left the biggest impression on you!

Some student hacked the school server and the teacher intercepted the culprit.

That’s the kind of school I attended.

No. 20

New dramas are starting one after another! Now then, please share with us a series that’s left the biggest impression on you among all the dramas that you’ve seen recently!

Right now I’m currently watching Mad Men.

I watched all of Mad Men. I can’t believe what happened at the end of “Meditations”...

[T/N: Not entirely sure what Ishida meant by that last line, but I think “Meditations” refers to the last episode of the second season, titled “Meditations in an Emergency”.]

No. 21

Sensei, please share with us one game that’s popular in your circle!

The staff and I often play Mafia a lot together.

Recently we’ve been playing table RPGs.

No. 22-23

Today is the day in which the elephant was first introduced to Japan! Now then, please share with us a person/thing/culture from overseas that you would like to come to Japan!

David Downton-san.

I don’t think that.

No. 24

It’s that time of year where it’s getting warmer even at night! Now then, please share with us something about hanging out at night that you still remember!

That time I went drinking at a bar in the outskirts of Tokyo with Takahashi Kunimitsu-kun.

I don’t want to go there again.

[T/N: Referring to that time in April 2016 where Ishida and Takahashi were at a bar and a middle-aged woman started hitting on Takahashi for 3 hours lol.]

No. 25

May 19 is Boxing Day! Now then Sensei, please share with us what you thought was the best match ever!

I like the match with David Haye.

Clearly it’s Darth Maul vs. Obi-Wan.

No. 26

Please share with us a story about a debacle that you or someone else caused at a drinking party!

The first time I met Nakayama Atsushi-sensei, I made so much of a fool of myself.

I was so piss-drunk that I fell asleep in the bathroom I think.

No. 27

When you think of June you think of June Bride! Now then Sensei, please share with us a story that you remember that has to do with weddings!

I drew the welcome board for my friend’s wedding.

That time I left early since I didn’t want to be late for my senpai’s wedding, but the flight ended up being delayed by over an hour...

No. 28

Sensei, please share with us one of your favourite literary works for children!

Ringing Bell by Yanase Takashi.

Stormy Night.

[T/N: Ringing Bell (Chirin no Suzu) was referenced in :re by Kaneki during Arima’s death scene. You can read about it here. Stormy Night also seems to have influenced :re.]

No. 29

June 16 is Wagashi Day! Now then Sensei, please share with us a confectionary that you like!

It’s not available in Fukuoka, but sweet mochi cake.

I want some now.

[T/N: Wagashi is traditional Japanese confectionaries.]

No. 30

June 23 is Olympics Day! Now then Sensei, please share with us a competition from the Olympics that you still remember to this day!

Uchimura Kouhei’s horizontal bar performance at the London Olympics.

I don’t really watch TV much, so questions like these are tough for me to answer.

No. 31

Please share with us your slogan for the latter half of 2016!

I won’t be late. I wasn’t able to keep that promise for the first half of the year.

Good luck with that.

No. 32

Sensei, please secretly tell us about one shop that you think is the King of Restaurants!

The Chinese restaurant by my previous workplace.

The stir-fried oyster with lettuce was perfection.

No. 33

Summer has arrived! Now then Sensei, what do you think of as “summer food”?

The spicy Mexican crispy noodle salad from Family Mart.

Ah that, that was so good. But I don’t see them sold anywhere now...

No. 34

If you could see exactly one historical event or incident live in person, what would you want to see?

I want to see Tezuka Osamu-sensei’s workplace.

The Perry Expedition.

[T/N: Tezuka is the “father of manga”, having drawn iconic manga like Astro Boy, Black Jack, and the currently airing anime Dororo.]

No. 35

When  you think of summer, you think of the ocean! If you could raise just one sea creature as a pet what would you choose?

An octopus.

So I can eat it.

No. 36

Sensei, please share with us the most nerve-wracking moment you’ve ever experienced in your life!

That time when I had to address a speech to over a hundred people for the launch of the anime.

Finishing the manuscript before the deadline of the final chapter.

No. 37-38

Sensei, please share with us a word or phrase that’s been stuck in your head recently!

“Pandas exploding in the wild.”

It’s from group_inou.

No. 39

Sensei, please share with us a small luxury that you use in your everyday life!

On days I stay up all night I buy carbonated drinks.

Feels kinda pathetic huh.

No. 40

The disbanding of idol groups nationwide is hot news, but please tell us about an experience that you’re still reluctant to part ways with.

A little while ago, I bought a copy of Jump every week for several months.

It was so I could read Hunter x Hunter.

[T/N: Question is most likely talking about the disbanding of the top male idol group SMAP which was announced around this time of the year.]

No. 41

Sensei, what item makes you think, “whoever invented this is a genius”?

The PC.

Amazon.

No. 42

What was the most interesting reception you’ve received up until now that has made you the happiest?

I got a shikishi from the staff to commemorate 100 chapters of being serialized. Though no one from that time is left anymore...

I also got a shikishi from the current staff. I was happy.

No. 43

Sensei, please share with us a moment that’s made you feel the generation gap the most!

Encountering people who were born in the 2000′s.

Sha-Mail.

No. 44

It’s Reader Autumn! Please tell us what you consider as your bible!

Recently it’s “Speak Aloud and Rhyme”.

Now it’s “Drawing the Morphological Human Body with Boxes and Cylinders”.

No. 45

Sensei, please tell us about a manga/anime/novel that you’d like to see as a movie!

I’m looking forward to “Satoshi: A Move for Tomorrow” being released this fall.

I missed the chance to watch it.

No. 46

Sensei, what were you most enthusiastic about playing with when you were in school?

Smash Bros.

Games that are updated periodically.

No. 47

Sensei, please tell us about something that you’ve used for many years and have been unable to throw away!!

I throw things away when I need to.

My Cintiq 22HD (DTK-2000/K1) LCD tablet. The size and responsiveness of it matches it better than the latest model.

No. 48

Sensei, when was the moment you felt you became independent?

If I’m living.

What? Probably when I got my pay cheque.

No. 49

November 2 is Family Culture Day! Sensei, please tell us about a rule that’s only found in your household!

Playing no more than 1 hour of games a day.

That’s proper.

No. 50

Sensei, please share with us any furniture/interior work that you want to replace right now!

The bookshelf.

Same.

No. 51

Sensei, please share with us the first CD you’ve ever bought!

Morishita Reika’s “Your Wind is Blowing” (most likely).

Most likely, yeah.

No. 52

This year has had various movies become blockbuster hits, but in your opinion what work do you consider as a hit?

It’s actually a drama, but Game of Thrones.

I recommend it.

previous || next

[brianobrienny]

Appraising Real Estate Content Consumption [Analysis]

Can you remember the last time you worked in your office? Not just to grab your mouse and comfy chair, but actually entered the office before 9 AM and stayed until after 5? For me and my NetLine marketing colleagues, it was March 14th; we’ve all been working remotely ever since. I’m sure the story for many of you is the same.

Regardless of whether we’re talking about the commercial or residential side of the industry, the Real Estate profession certainly finds itself in a curious place. According to data from Realtor.com, and analysis from Norada, median listing prices are up 12.4% with properties selling nearly two weeks faster than in 2019. One of the biggest reasons for this is due to the lack of inventory in the market—total listings are down a staggering 39% YOY.

The commercial side of the business, surprisingly, appears to be fairing a bit better than expected. According to Commercial Real Estate Trends & Outlook, a report published by the National Association of Realtors, the office market has been impacted by The Pause, but hasn’t been crushed, fortunately. The report also states that commercial sales fell 5% year-over-year in 2020 Q2, with leasing volume fell by 4%, and construction down 5%.

With people staying in their homes in more ways than one, we wanted to get a better sense of how this has impacted Real Estate content consumption and the types of information these professionals are after. To answer these questions, we dug into Audience Explorer to find out just what the Real Estate profession is pursuing.

Getting a Lay of the Land for the Real Estate Audience

As we always do to start, let’s choose “Real Estate” from the buyer selection dropdown menu and choose “United States” from the Region filter. By selecting the U.S. as our Region, this brings our total number of content recommendations from 66,349 to 62,298 over the last 180 days.

Remember: even when audience numbers are smaller than other audiences within Audience Explorer, it’s important to recognize that niche is nice. Just like buying your first start home, it’s better to start smaller and work your way up and out than it is to go broad and work backwards.

Let’s begin to build the case from this report.

What We Can Decipher From the Top Trending Topics

From a B2B marketer’s perspective, there are only three topics here that appear to be directly connected to the world of Real Estate: Small Business, Commercial Banking, and Facilities Management. Every other trending topic on this list could be something you’d see on any number of Top 10 lists. Perhaps that is connected to something larger. Wonder what that could be…

We hate to keep mentioning it but the influence of COVID-19 and its impact on everything in our lives is undeniable and ubiquitous. Each audience we seem to analyze shows the marks of COVID impact. Every Top 10 list includes one or more IT/Computer/Technology topics. Businesses that have always operated in a face-to-face capacity have been forced to adapt to a new Digital-First reality. It is this new reality that puts IT Reliability at the top of the Trending Topics list.

Innovation is an interesting topic on this list at 6. Given the obstacles before us, it’s clear that businesses have to evolve to compete. What does this look like in the world of Real Estate?

To answer those questions and provide more context around these trends, we asked Mary Byrnes, a realtor-marketer based in Philadelphia with over 30 years in the field, to share her thoughts around what life has been like for Real Estate professionals, how COVID-19 has changed her business, and what specifically is driving this new tech adoption.

Providing Context: An Expert’s Perspective

Since mid-March, Byrnes has had to use everything at her disposal to continue serving her clients and protect her business. How she has navigated this moment in time certainly has been innovative and showcases why technology is so prevalent on the Trending Topics list.

“There are so many new ways that professional Realtors have reacted to COVID-19 that it’s hard to narrow it down to just a few,” Byrnes said. “Realtors were not allowed to leave their homes to sell Real Estate in Pennsylvania, so working around this took some ingenuity.”

On Business Intelligence and IT Reliability:

“Cyber Security has been a hot topic for a few years but even more so during the shut-down.  Gmail is a big factor in hackers getting into settlement rooms and stealing client’s equity and funds right before closings.

Using secure wifi is so important and most Realtors are oblivious to this as you see them in Starbucks and in Paneras openly using the unsecured networks. WiFi sharing in a household of students and workers was debilitating, so I used my MIFI at home when the Internet was overwhelmed during school and work hours with 6 users at home. Using this also allowed me to protect my client’s information.

On Innovation:

“One client of mine was relocating and listed their house right before the shut-down. He had to leave town and his work was interrupted by having to do FaceTime tours with buyers. We used Facetime to “show” the homes which offered some interesting advantages to both sides because normally, they never get to talk.

In order to minimize the number of people inside of a home, a home inspector I work with went alone and recorded a live and interactive home inspection video in 3 segments: Interior, Exterior and The Lot using the Marco Polo App. Using this app, we were all able to watch the home inspection in real time and could ask questions or point out concerns from the App. This Marco Polo App interactive recording home inspection is an idea that I believe should stick around even after COVID-19 goes away.”

On Commercial Banking:

“COVID-19 separated the men from the boys. Most lenders were flailing while the few good ones had sufficient funding and drive to get buyers over the finish line despite the constant curveballs. Digital signatures were not allowable with lenders but we found ways to work through that one eventually. Some Internet lenders collapsed because they had no backbone funding to sustain them.”

What the Buyer Stream Tells Us

What immediately jumps out here is the level of professional consuming content from this field. In the 8 examples provided, 6 of the buyers were at or above the VP level. If you want specific proof that the Real Estate field is moving on the fly, seeing the interest from these Job Levels certainly provides it.

The second interesting detail is that the topics they’re consuming are all unique. Sure there are connections with the 5 technology topics, but they’re not carbon copies. These organizations all have technology questions but their own priorities and needs.

While we see that one Senior Manager registered for a Live Virtual Event, it’s clear that text is the preferred format of consumption for Real Estate pros (which we’ll confirm again later). White Papers, eBooks, and Research Reports were

quite popular across this sampling.

Slicing Up the Pie Charts

The most visual, and interactive, portion of Audience Explorer is the pie chart section. Here, content consumption data is broken down into 4 specific categories: Job Function, Job Level, Company Employee Size, and Company Industry.

Job Function

Almost 40% of the total content requests were made by Agents or Brokers. Considering that so many realtors are solopreneurs or partners in a smaller company, this is somewhat expected. However, there are still the big boys like Berkshire-Hathaway and other investment firms able to strike in a market starved for inventory, making it easier to connect the dots with Senior Management.

Property Managers are third on this list, followed by General Management and Leasing/Acquisition. As we saw with the NAR report, leasing is down compared to 2019 so these professionals are likely looking for content that can help them to position their buildings and office spaces in the best light possible. It’s a complete guess, but perhaps they’re more likely to consume Innovation content than anything else.

Job Level

The Job Level filter allows you to review which job titles/levels of seniority are interacting with content. In the Real Estate audience, Owners (18.1%) make up the majority of active consumers, followed by the VP (16.6%) & Manager (11.1%) levels. Knowing that the VP level was very engaged in the Buyer Stream, let’s filter this report by their Job Level.

By doing this we see that the majority of these professionals are also Agents or Brokers working predominantly in the field of Real Estate (58.9%). What is most intriguing about the industries following the Real Estate profession, however, is seeing Finance (9.8%) and Telecommunications (7.1%) surpassing Construction 4th (6.3%). Given the obvious relationship between construction and Real Estate, this may be a bit surprising initially. But when you begin to think about it, you’ll remember that Real Estate doesn’t happen with commercial banking (finance)…oh, and we love Netflix and Instagram (telecommunications) and they need wires in the ground and in the sky to make WiFI happen.

Company Employee Size

Admittedly, I was surprised to see 1 to 4 sitting at the bottom of the pile at 5.3%. Given that nearly 40% of the consumers in this audience are Agents and roughly 20% are Owners, I would have expected to see more shops in the 1 – 25 employee range with a greater slice of the pie.

Then again, when you look at the Most Active In-Market Companies, the 50,000+ at 12% begins to make a lot more sense. Anytime you see Walmart, CBRE, and Cushman & Wakefield, you know you’re playing with the big boys.

Company Industry

Naturally, Real Estate is the big winner here at 57.6%. Retail and Consumer Goods, Finance, and Service Industries round out the Top 4 fields with the rest of the market fighting over 2.5% or less, respectively.

Which Type of Content is Requested Most?

Despite the fact that eBook consumption is up nearly 2% overall from 2019, White Papers are the preferred format in this profession. White Papers are the most “scientific” and “buttoned-up” of all the content formats. When you factor in the amount of legal, financial, and municipal knowledge that is required by those in the Real Estate, White Papers stand out as a logical choice.

Closing the Deal

The professionals in the Real Estate audience are a resilient bunch. They’re working day and night to serve their clients and acquire new tenants. If your business is in the technology, finance, or human resources industries, this is an audience that needs your expertise to improve their professional footing and improve their standing in their respective markets and meet the new needs of their customers.

We’ll be back next month with another Audience Explorer breakdown of a brand new audience. Let us know if there’s one you’d like to know more about!

Special thanks to Mary Byrnes for providing her expertise and insight to this article. She is one of the Top 5% of Realtors Nationwide and has served the Philadelphia Suburbs for more than 30 years.

The post Appraising Real Estate Content Consumption [Analysis] appeared first on Marketing Insider Group.

Appraising Real Estate Content Consumption [Analysis] published first on http://rssmix.com/u/11592782/rss.xml

[tanbrian]

The Last Jedi: BTan Review (Spoilers)

Here it is: I decided to write everything out because I obviously have too many feelings to process lol #allthefeels. A movie that has already proven to be a fairly polarizing 2nd (or 9th, if we're really counting) entry into the Star Wars metaverse deserves some cathartic play-by-play analysis. After all, that's more than half the fun (and point) of being a SW fan, is it not? Obvious disclaimer for SPOILERS, and I only saw the movie once - Thursday premiere night. Without further ado... here I go. *deep Lamaze breaths.

Comparison: Empire.

Let's be honest: with an ominous title and precedent-breaking RED Star Wars logo, it was inevitable that this second entry in this trilogy would illicit endless comparison to it's predecessor - namely, Empire, the 2nd SW movie ever in the OG trilogy, which has a darker tone and is widely regarded as the "Best" SW movie ever by fans - arguably, I might add. (IMO, A New Hope is the best SW movie of all time. BUT I DIGRESS) Considering how much TFA was designed after A New Hope, for better or for worse, it would be no surprise that The Last Jedi would mirror, borrow, or dare I say steal from Empire: major elements, settings, plot lines, et al. Fans and I alike were simultaneously loathed and relieved to find that this was both true and... not true, in this case.

Let's break it down via Empire lines:

Hoth: Empire/Rebel stand-off with low-rising ships and AT-AT fighters in a cold-climate planet with snow and winter-y creatures? Check. (this time at the end, not the beginning! what a twist.)

Yoda/Luke on Dabogah: Mentor/mentee jedi "training" period that transports a main character away from central Rebel action for the majority of the movie? Check.

"I am your father": Said main character is only to return for a climatic confrontation on an Empire ship with the main villain and discover parentage? Check.

Rebel characters engage in a cat-&-mouse run from a Empire ship that tracks them (A la Boba Fett & the Worm monster in the Asteroid fields)? Check.

Reunion-Hopeful end scene: With some medical care, hand holding, smiling, and small sliver of hope left just by still being together despite all the odds? Check.

Puppet-Yoda. period.

Thankfully, nobody's hand was severed or body was carbon-frozen. (Let's not get all Starkiller Base on us again.) Elements were certainly borrowed, but I don't think it was a hammer over the head in the same way that TFA was to A New Hope. A lot of the reviews are citing how "different" and "surprising" the plot twists and storyline went, and I will give Rian Johnson credit there. This was certainly not a carbon copy of Empire because, while borrowing fairly obvious major elements - Yoda/Luke and Luke/Rey being the most - it does its own thing with them....that doesn't always work out for the best, however.

1. Dagobah vs the Island (Ach-To, or whatever.)I think a lot of us expected (and were ready for) some head-on Yoda training of Rey. Give us a training montage. Knock her to her feet, do handstands, and make her lift that X-fighter from under the ocean (Did anyone catch that down there!?). OK - we don't need the whole she-bang, but give us something. I get that Luke is in no way the same master or teacher as Yoda, and he was going through this whole crotchety old-man complex and didn't actually want to train her. But when he and the movie actually got around to it... what even happened, really? We were treated to, frankly, weird and beautiful but unexplained cinematographic sequences (life! death! balance? and a dark seaweed-y dark tunnel?... ultimately leading to fun with mirrors? so many Reys, so few parents). My issue with them is this whole "training" period - which is a significant if not major crux of the whole movie - is that she's not really trained at all. Luke is basically like, "You're scary, Rey. ...OK, I'll watch you swing around my light saber." Like, what? I feel like the trailer gave the same level of impact of Rey's whole training on that damned island. She goes there, she gets trained eventually, and then she's a stronger Jedi - excuse me, er, "Force User." The movie really dragged its feet with this, and not in a satisfying way to me.

In Empire, you were on Dagobah forever but were enraptured by Luke's fear, frustration, and mystery over the force and his training (not to mention the charm of puppet-Yoda, bless him). Here, I couldn't wait to get off the island. I feel like I was stuck on LOST. Nothing was happening, the main mystery was "What Did Luke REALLY DO to Ben?", Rey talked to Kylo Ren a lot, Rey and Luke stalked each other... and - perhaps most insulting of all - our entertainment/comedic relief was pulled out of admittedly cute but pretty ridiculous creatures. More on all the creatures below, but for now: I'm anti-porg (hated all the random noise placements), and pro-caretakers - cute and funny. BUT - do you see what I mean? How was this adding to anything? We were charmed and entertained by Yoda and Luke all on their own as characters - their dynamic, struggles, values taught, etc. Here, it was like... welcome to the Island! We're, here... on the island. There are cute things and some mysteries. Train yourself Rey and leave as you like. See what I mean? Similar to Empire, but... not really, or at all, a better or improved version just by being different from it.

The saving graces are Daisy and Mark Hamill, who deliver strong and captivating performances as expected. Sadly, it's the writing and script here that fail them. Point is: this is a major/the plot point of this movie, Rey's training and answers as a Force User. Sure- what's happening with the Resistance is important, but the mythology and magic of this SW story is getting built with Rey. While necessary to bring her to the island with Luke, I just think our time there was a bit wasted. Too much "lemme follow Luke" ... "lemme follow Rey"... "oh look, another Porg!" *holds head in hands.

2. Rebels vs The ResistanceMeanwhile - because this movie, as SW movies are apt to do, requires a lot of Meanwhiles - the Resistance is stuck. They're out of fuel, tracked by the Empire after a mission, and getting clipped down. ...totally sounds familiar, right? In Empire, they run and hide - but get caught. They had the benefit of a budding romance with Han & Leia, and chemistry between them all - Chewie included. Here: they try to run, but are stuck. My issue is what they do to make it different this time, instead of Astroid Fields and a Cloud City: I guess they went with "A Codebreaker" and "Political Mutiny."

I have to admit: it must be really challenging to figure out to do with the Rebel/Resistance story arc. I'm sure when they sat down to write this script, they thought "OK: while Rey is off being important, what can we give the Resistance to do and make it fun, compelling, and just as consequential?" -Sadly, I think they really struggled here. It becomes the major middle of the movie, which just drags. Here was their solution: Introduce 3 new characters; go on adventures; solve the problem, and combine the plotlines. go.

First, as I'll discuss below with the Crowded Cast, the new characters (with the exception of Kelly Marie Tran) don't really amount to any new, exciting chemistry. It's less of a family, and more of a clusterf*ck to figure out what to do next... and then some.

Second: The Go on Adventures part was, simply put, random. Finn and Rose's romp to the casino land was a great plug/opportunity for a Mos Eisley Cantina - feel, not to mention pretty incredible wardrobe and set design. I felt mesmerized watching that first long shot of the casino: over the top, significant attention to detail, and fabulous. I do like the backstory we get on the planet's riches from sales to the Empire. Still, those are the highlights, but its all... random. and very quick. I don't want something to just "be a highlight" - it should have some purpose and add to the story. Otherwise, we're in prequel territory (Naboo is beautiful! ...so what?) The rest: "Find the Codebreaker" mission, randomly given by Maz - just seemed silly, and they didn't even manage to make contact with mustached Justin Thoreaux - settling for Benicio Del Toro in jail. Again, all random, and all just kinda like... ok, *shrug*, I'll just go with this? I know that's the spirit of SW - being a ragtag crew that just "figures it out" as you go. Here, however, they give a lot of twists and turns that your head is in a tailspin. They're in the casino, then in jail, but now they're riding creatures, but they got caught, but DJ saved them, but then he sold them out...? You're left feeling like, Wow. what was the point of that at all.

Meanwhile... Mutiny is afoot! Admiral Holdo vs Poe for control. Like I'm saying, it's all just like... so what? They're stuck in space and they need a solution, so Poe waits on one while Holdo pursues another one. It really feels like a placeholder, one that I think they just didn't need to develop all that much- yet, develop they did. They threw in so many twists into this plotline that felt unnecessary: we're abandoning ship?! oh - there's a planet down there? wait - leia's awake? no, wait - they're shooting us all down?... it felt like a waste of time. Sure, show them in struggle against the Empire, but let's move on. (Here, I'd like to note this movie is 2 hours and 30 minutes. that's LOTR territory, yall - not in the good way. Like, yikes.)

To summarize the Empire talk, I think they borrowed many checkpoint facts but didn't change them in truly effective ways. Let's be honest: the Empire framework is one we were all thinking about going into this. Below are more reasons why I think this movie's approach was successful... or not.

Crowded Cast.

Any true fan will tell you why the OG trilogy is the best: chemistry. Carrie, Mark, and Harrison had on-screen spark that continues to last 40 years later. All they had was droids and a walking carpet in Chewbacca as successful, impactful sidekicks (...forgetting the Ewoks, mind you.) We didn't need more. Even when Lando shows up, it's not a big deal - because it feels natural.

Characters aren't just being thrown in and added just for the sake of more characters. (If they are, it's for some plot point or twist that really pushes things along. Lando case in point: Empire needed a double-agent to get Han carbon-frozen & bring Luke out of Dagobah to encounter Vader, get hand cut off, hang from a Cloud City antenna, etc.)

I really thought in TFA, we were building to just that kind of "family" power. In our trio this time around, I think it was a solid effort at re-emulating what once was - The jokes and "banter" in TFA was believable, and you liked them as a crew. A family.

Unfortunately, this is less like a family of a cast than ever before; It's more meta, like: Here's this conflict in space that obviously involves hundreds of characters. Let's give each of them a little spotlight. There really is just too, too much going on character-wise. I'm just going to go at this bullet style with all the ancillary characters, because I have all of the complaints.

General Hux: admirable attempt to emulate Tarkin, but given way too much screen-time as if he actually matters. I think he's funny in the "evil" role - but that encapsulates my problem with it entirely. you should not be funny, or "evil" with g-d quotes around it. (Also, he's Bill Weasley. Like, just train your dragons.)

Snoke: NO. Why? Where's his story? Who is he? WHAT is he? He's just an <insert here> CGI bad guy from nowhere? What - were those scars that looked just like Anakin's head scars just to F*** with SW fan theories?!  There are plenty of bad guys in the SW universe that have Force powers and came out of nowhere. Like, who is Count Dooku, even. But I'm even fine with Dooku. This is like decades after the Emperor has fallen, and now "Snoke" rules the world... we def need a little more than just a gold f***ing kimono.

Captain Phasma: Fail. What an absolute waste. She could've been a cool, deep, fun character. Give her way more screentime over Hux. Instead, we get two lousy fights and a shot of Brienne's eye... like, *applause for your death?

Emo Kylo Ren. Sorry, reviewers: this is NOT a spectacular show of acting. This is bratty, brooding boy turned young man all wrong. I get it, I know -- this shows how darkness is complex and conflicting and not one side of the coin, I get that. Despite that, he still comes off as an impish child. Like, King Joffrey status. (Does that change anyone's mind?!) I don't care that he has great hair and "broods" well. Snoke's dialogue with him is the only thing I like about the two of them: "Take that stupid mask off your face." "You're nothing but a child." Very, true. That's the character. I shouldn't be able to make fun of the darkest evil and now supreme leader in that way. (...then again... Trump.)

Overall, I have been incredibly disappointed with the dark side in this new trilogy. Not menacing, threatening, or even "dark" at all. Throwaway characters. The fact that it can basically be made a joke - Emo Kylo Ren on SNL; Hux's ridiculous flailing and fails - is telling. Now, the light side:

Admiral Holdo: more like Who, doe? Laura Dern is an incredible actor, and she was very underutilized here. Very few lines of dialogue to sink her teeth into, and the whole Mutiny situation all passed by in what felt like an inconsequential flash. I feel like her inclusion was not necessary at all. It felt very Battlestar Galactica-y: commander of a rival ship comes, creates political conflict. She's also completely out of place with that hair and wardrobe... I get you commanded another ship, but aint nobody else on the Resistance looking like that. She looked more suited to the casino.

DJ. again, who? Benicio Del Toro, another fantastic actor, underutilized in a way that demonstrates he prob shouldn't have been used at all. His stuttering was pretty insulting and not charming like I guess they thought it would be. I'm guessing he has some double-agent turn to play in episode 9 (I guess as the Lando addition), but he certainly didn't add any value to this cast or story whatsoever.

Maz Katana: Well, that was funny, but random. Another wasted resource in Lupita Nyongo.

Rose. saving grace of the movie! Anyone knows I'm the first to shout about inclusive representation in entertainment; giving an Asian-American nerd such a highlighted role was fantastic. and not just b/c shes an Asian-American Nerd; just because she was fantastic in it. She's also 28, so she's just like me. That's empowering and awesome to see. Totally emulated the Rey, Finn, Poe trio dynamic-chemistry we got in TFA. Sadly, she's the only one we really got it from, other than:

Finn and Poe. sorry, they go in together because they really didn't give me much this time around. A lot of snappy dialogue and jokes that mostly landed. I'm disappointed, because I was ready to see that TFA chemistry continue and build. It mostly just remained stagnant, which isn't development to me. Also, I guess they're supposed to be main characters, but why didn't it feel that way? In TFA, they had an excuse - this was all just starting, and they had star power in Harrison, Daisy and Adam Driver to share screen time with. Now, I really feel like I needed them to step up as movers in this story - the same way Han was. Sadly, script and writing spread their power potential across far too many others.

Basically: it's crowded. It's like double the cast with half the punch. It's part of why I criticized Rogue One: ensemble cast that seems thrown together, just for the sake of being together. I think Laura Dern and Benicio Del Toro, hands down, just should not have been added. I'm hoping they can revitalize the familial feel we got in TFA in episode IX; I think we will, now that we got that reunion scene and JJ will be back.

Separately, the OGs:

Leia. the movie did an incredible job bidding her adieu. Luke's reunion with her sends chills down my spine. "No one's ever really gone." She's reportedly not in IX at all, so I'm sure they'll have her pass peacefully.

Luke. By contrast, I think his death was anti-climatic.

Puppet-Yoda: was skeptical on his re-appearance, but leave it to Frank Oz to put you back at total Yoda-zen ease. His lines on failure particularly hit home for me, and it def maintains the heart of SW here: the empathy and hope, in the face of loss and despair, really is what matters.

Is this still Star Wars?

One of the more shocking allegations by angry twitterverse is that this movie "RUINED" SW, and that this "isn't a SW movie at all." Especially saying this is worse than Phantom Menace or Attack of the Clones! Can it be? I ultimately have to disagree. There are light sabers, the Force, Luke and Leia, spaceship battles, and droids. Also, it splits characters/storylines up in stupid ways on "adventures" that all eventually pull together and make sense (we guess). it's DEF still SW.

I do see their point, however. SW is a space battle/family drama, but you can't help but feel it's pull into different territories on this one. For one, I mentioned the Crowded Cast issue. My most immediate comparison on this one is Battlestar Galactica: stellar ensemble cast & chemistry, with very similar cat-&-mouse chases from the bad guys in space. Sadly, I just don't think SW is built for this kind of meta-character building. That's my main critique for this feeling less "SW".

Second: The chemistry. The humor, comedic relief, and jokes. I mean, where are we going with these? I'm mostly okay with a lot of the "easier" funny moments, because there are a lot of those in the OG trilogy; all it took was one Chewie growl to get us going. I'm glad they didn't do away with them completely - this is still mass entertainment after all. However, I do think they simply went overboard on this one. Ex: The milked BB-8's abilities way too far; is he really capable of taking out multiple humans? It felt a little like Guardians of the Galaxy but with a lot less natural comedic punch. Again, I credit that to chemistry and the crowded cast: there wasn't a lot of opportunity to build much on what was created in TFA. We got it out of Rose, Poe and Finn in limited doses; not much else. Otherwise, we were given a lot of Porgs. Please, let Jar Jar and Ewoks be a lesson of late.

The Last Jedi is totally a SW movie; however, it does admittedly feel different. I would say it feels stretched. Strained. A little frenetic & confused. It does all find itself by the end, but rather than all that being "Ah, The Plan All Along," it feels more like... "Oh, thank god they got there."

Action Sequences

One way it is totally SW, however, and I'm glad they did this justice: epic light saber battles. This struck a golden, perfect balance between the aerobatic, choreographed prequel fights to the more raw, emboldened OG trilogy fights that focus on face and grit. The climax fight is one to behold and is going down in the pantheon as one of the best, likely a top 5. Snoke's chamber and that red backlight is fantastic - ominous, bloody. A little shocked by how good those guards were; where the hell did they get trained? I'm sure we'll get more Kylo vs Rey in episode IX. Rey, thank god, has stepped up her game - treating it like an actual sword instead of a heavy hammer to drag. (But do you see what I mean about there being too much going on this entire movie? I totally forgot that Kylo Ren even had a crossguard lightsaber. like, completely.)

The space sequences are, as predicted, breathtaking and exciting. Wouldn't expect less. In the middle "we're out of fuel!" part of the movie, it does just feel like being stuck on a chess set piece; that's claustrophobic, but not really in the captivating way here. Not like Gravity. More like... I got tired of playing chess and left the board overnight & forgot it was there for a week. and i dont care.

Cringe-worthy.

There were truly a lot, like a lot, of cringes here. These are undeniable, in fact, and simply cannot be done away with. The movie lives with them forever. *sucks teeth*

Floating Leia. NOOOOO. (please send me every meme ever). This is obviously a very polarizing decision. Personally, I think they should've cut that entire segment and left it on the cutting room floor. Kylo Ren doesn't need to get close to shooting her; she doesn't need to be asleep; hell, there didn't need to be a Laura Dern or any Mutiny, imo. She could've hit her head in an explosion and been in a brief coma, if ANYTHING. Idk. It was a lot. Esp considering Carrie has passed, it felt... super, really, uncomfortably weird. Therefore, I will rewind that scene x100 times. (It's up there with "Anakin, you're breaking my heart! You're going down a path in which I cannot follow!" also, I cannot believe they killed Admiral Ackbar with such little grace as that. Offended.)

Blue Milk. What might be a charming easter egg to some was really just a funny-disturbing, horrifically-cringey moment. Luke Skywalker on his knees, sucking down milk from the Tittie-Testicles of a bantha creature in its crotch, spilling it onto his scraggly beard. humiliating. this is not the master jedi I'm looking for. I want to unsee that immediately.

Mirror, mirror. maybe some people thought it was cool. maybe its deep, insightful, or artistic in some way idc to know about. I just dont care. It was giving me Mirror of Erised vibes from Harry Potter, which felt stupid and went totally unexplained. *snap, snap!

Emo-Bitch Moaning: on behalf of Hux and Emo Kylo himself. So many lines, I can't even dredge up from memory just yet, they're that painful. Greatest hit: Kylo bitching "YOU SHOULD BE!" or something equally bitch-worthy to ghost-Luke during their fight. groan.

Benicio Del Toro's stuttering: painful and offensive. of no value.

Rose's "kiss" of Finn. Ouch.

-Creatures

There were, simply, a lot of creatures this time around. Here's some reactions to the greatest hits:

Porgs: I'm decidedly anti-Porg. I wish Chewie ate that roasted one in front of their crying faces. I also can't believe they started burrowing into the Falcon; the disrespect! Please swat them off the drawing board for episode IX, JJ. Unlike Ewoks and even Jar Jar, they added absolutely nothing to the story. Keep it purposeful, not random, please.

Caretakers: cute and hilarious. random.

Canto Bight riding creatures: They look like Voldemort. Actually a cross-breed of Dobby/house elves and Voldemort. Disturbing. (also, why all this Harry Potter crossover!?) random.

Ice Foxes: Cute, pretty, again very random and barely added anything of value.

One can't help but see the commercial angle in throwing the kitchen sink in with these creatures: they're automatic money machines to cash in on Christmas plush toys, not to mention drawings, books/resources to develop in on their stories/backgrounds, etc. Creatures are also a hallmark of SW. Again, though, you can't help but feel like it was a bit overdone here. I hardly remember any creatures from TFA, other than the octopus. (See? That was a fun adventure - and we met Han that way.)

Cliffhangers/Theories

It just seems hard to believe, however, that Rey and Kylo aren't TWINS to Han and Leia. How could they be otherwise connected so strongly and randomly? Just one fight in the snowy woods, and they've got psycho-powers to each other? I guess it could just be a coincidence of their Force powers. High midichlorian count, holla.

I'm still banking on the Kenobi theory myself: why else bring Ewan and Alec Guiness's voices from the grave for her TFA dream? Help us Rey Kenobi - you really are our only hope.

Conclusion

If you read this far, you need to get a life - much like myself. Ultimately, my word on The Last Jedi is: B. OK. Idk! I think there was a lot riding on this movie: It was going to determine how a huge leg of this new trilogy was going to continue and be as an identity, really. TFA did a beautiful job building the legwork, and Last Jedi was both a surprise and let down in many ways. You can't snuff the highlights that made it shine: Canto Bight's casino, the light saber duels, Daisy and Mark, and Kelly Marie Tran. It just needed a lot of editing, which it clearly didn't get enough of at it's running time. The Cringes shoot down at this film significantly.

Most importantly to me: Part of what makes SW fantastic isn't exploding ships and sword fights; plenty of movies have just that. What makes us fans is the draw of their mythology, continuing/evolving story, and feeling like we're on-board with the "Family" of characters we love the whole way through. It's why I love many installments of Final Fantasy, LOST, Battlestar Galactica, and GOT: it's character-based, character development that gets breathtaking. I think Last Jedi may have lost the heart of that, by nature of feeling random, sloppy, and going too long without going much of anywhere. I'm certainly glad to be off the island and out of that awful Chess-like impasse between their spaceships. Moments with Yoda and Luke separately were strong and kept the heart of SW. Still, there were just a lot of choices... too many polarizing choices. the kind you can't come back from, and that really get the movie off the swing of things.

I will obviously be re-watching and contemplating for weeks to come. Ah, to be a SW fan! Feels good. (and a little sad, but good all the same).