#and continue to say some... uncomfortable/questionable things about a character with disabilities in canon

[frostycatblr-fandom-files]

Nothing "former" about that ARC trooper status. I have spoken.

[the-cryptographer]

For the yugioh ask meme - 9, 13, 18, 23, 31!

Thank you!! 9 and 13 got answered already. In my ‘ask’ tag if you’re interested  x’)

18. A random headcanon

Ah, I have so many at this point,lol. A lot of them really kind of spring up in the process of writing fic, andwhat I think makes sense and carries weight for that story so *shrugs*

There are some things I more or lessaccept as permanent facets of the characters, hmm:

Things about how Jounouchi’sgang life with Hirutani went, and how it ended. And how Jounouchi feels aboutthat, and how Honda helped and encouraged him in this huge way that Jounouchi couldn’t even acknowledge at the time and still struggles with acknowledging during canon. Experimental sexual encounter with Honda inmiddle school is also one of a few things about Jounouchi’s sexual history that’skind of permanently burned into my brain at this point as something that definitely happened.

Things about how Seto’s relationshipwith Gouzaburou went. I guess you could say I’ve crafted headcanons about how andfor what purpose Gouzaburou intended to mold Seto, and how and where heundermined his own motivations, but still ultimately succeeded. heh, I keepimagining Gouzaburou sitting on a recliner in hell, watching Seto build andopen Death-T and just shaking his head with such disdain. “What is all this? A death theme park? How is this going to monetiseproperly? How is this going to sustain Kaiba Corp? Seto. Seto. Papa taught youbetter than this~”And Seto’s just like, “fuckyou, I can build a death theme park and wear belts on my arms and piss awayyour whole estate and die penniless in a ditch if I want to – you can’t stopme.”Caught between a rock and a hard place, Seto. If you succeed at lifeand work you’ll only be doing what your abuser wants, but if you fail you’llonly be miserable. It’s your choice, with only your life on the line here :v

And, I guess Yami Malik not beinggone from Malik’s psyche post-canon is a headcanon? going from what canon’s seemingintent is in how it presents the end of Battle City, I think we’re meant to thinkthat Yami Malik is and Malik’s hateful feelings are gone(?) But I’m not surehow seriously anyone takes that? idk, I certainly don’t take it seriously.

None of these are fun headcanons,lol. idk, it can be a headcanon that Mai comes into town and treats everyone todim sum, right? Just imagine the whole gang eating dim sum. Imagine Jounouchiand Honda and Shizuka having a chopstick battle over the last shrimp dumpling.And then continuing to fight, over the gai lan this time, even though Honda doesn’t even like it.

31. Favorite duel

Isis vs Seto. It’s just… socathartic, omg. I have so many feelings about what this duel meant for both thecharacters. I like how it really ricochets through Seto’s fears and hubris anddownfall and resurrection, against Isis’s stony and completely assuredconfidence that they are utterly powerless. And how Seto ultimately believes inthe power of something more personal and connecting than just raw strength, andhow that becomes the power to decide your own destiny. It’s just- very good.

The Atem vs Seto duel from Duellist Kingdom, and the Atem vs Mai duel are second and third runners up.

23. NOTP

Ah, I still don’t really think I have any? I have prettynarrow preferences regarding a number of ships, but there’s not really anythingI think in abstract I’m really never up for seeing some portrayal of? In termsof ships I see regularly enough on trips around tumblr and fanfic land that I’mkind of full of mixed feelings on… the rest is under the cut:

I can’t say I find myself super interested in Atem/Yuugi. I don’t reallyunderstand myself, but I’ve even kind of been randomly and viscerally squicked at times byportrayals of them kissing or preforming sex acts on one another (as opposed topreforming sex acts on someone else in each other’s general vicinity, lol).Which is really bizarre, since I’m a big fan of emblematik’s fic and own agrand total of one R18 doujin about them. So, idk, there’s nothing objectionable about it in the slightest. But I seem to heavily preferAtem and Yuugi being platonic in most cases for some reason?

I’m also not really fond of the vast majority of Ryou/YamiMalik interpretations. I’m not really that fond of Yami Malik in a completelyseparate body and as a completely separate entity that’s not at all amanifestation of Malik prime’s emotional needs (or vice versa, really). I kindof consider Malik and Yami Malik a package deal, so I’m not really especiallykeen on seeing one ship dealt with in absentia of the other. And, even if I was,I kind of think Malik and Yami Bakura are better developed characters that canbe used to cover a lot of the messy Ryou ship dynamics, well, better. But- I really, reallylike (platonic or nonplatonic) angstshipping, and I do consider (platonicor nonplatonic) Ryou/Yami Malik a facet of that. A facet that can reap reallyinteresting results. And so I want to see a lot more of Ryou and the Maliks butmaybe not in the way I see the fandom usually be about them.

And, idk, it seems like I’ve had a lot of salty af feelingsabout Isis/Mai. I don’t know. I am (1) very overly invested in Mai being reallytraumatised by Yami Malik’s behaviour towards her, (2) very overly invested inMalik being held accountable as (at the very least) complicit in Yami Malik’sbehaviour, (3) very overly invested in Mai being allowed to never forgive Malikever, and (4) very overly invested in Isis and Rishid being there to supportMalik and be on his team basically regardless of how bad he’s fucked up ateverything ever. These four points feed right into so much that I love aboutBattle City and DOMA, and somewhere in them is a pretty big conflict ofinterest that kind of prevents Isis/Mai and Mai/Rishid from not being superfucked up on some level. And, idk, I don’t really see a lot of super fucked upportrayals of them? Which is fine, I guess? I think my four points up there areperhaps overly specific readings of the text? But they all kind of lead me tohaving a kneejerk reaction against the ships bc my insect brain goes: ‘this ispressuring a woman to get over her abuse and pretend it didn’t happen’. Whichis something I’m familiar as with per my personal life, which is kind ofuncomfortable. Which makes me want desperately to read a Isis/Mai fic aboutgaslighting, and them dealing with dissimilar approaches to their own abuserecovery and erroneously expecting the other to be on the same page, and eventually beingable to understand each other and knowing their relationship needs a lot of distancein places and that’s sad but it still might be something worth holding onto? SoI guess I’m back to shipping it again, except I have to write it myself orsomething, idk.(except i also understand that everyone i unabashedly ship Maiwith is a tiny baby and that has its own potential problems – just ones ihaven’t had to live with? idk, why doesn’t ygo canon have any passionate,hot-blooded adult people i want to ship Mai with? Vivian, you are my onlysalvation.)

idk, I don’t like Mokuba/Shizuka either. except it might befine if somebody convinced me Mokuba and Shizuka could connect on a meaningfullevel that wasn’t just ‘making JouKai drama happen’. and i don’t likeHonda/Shizuka either. except i do like it, because I like Honda/Otogi/Shizukatriad. except I’ve never read any Honda/Shizuka by itself that wasn’t justuncomfortably assuming that Shizuka would get with Honda and not dealing withthe fact that Honda is an entitled lying liar who should question just what it ishe feels entitled to, and why. andwhat kind of relationship he’ll be participating in, and why. smh.

And I have a hard time seeing Atem being attracted to Anzuin canon, so I’m not big on shipping them, but it wouldn’t drive me away fromsomething either? Anzu/Atem: why not? and i used to feel sort of ‘why not?’ but not super interested inAtem/Kaiba. but then I gotangry at antishippers and then I talked to rainstormcolors too much, and now Ikind of ship it. Except I still get the feeling that most people who ship itaren’t really looking for the same dynamic in it that I’m really looking for.Which is, when I think about it, the exact same problem I have with JouKai(except slightly less bad, bc JouKai is much trashier). So I’ve done a 180degree turn here from notp problems to otp problems because for me they are thesame problems. always the same problems.

ETA: Itoccurs to me I probably could have added Seto/Shizuka to this list. Myunderstanding of Seto is that he’s someone who wouldn’t be at all compassionateabout her no-money, abuse, and disability problems. And my understanding ofShizuka is that she’s someone that would take that keenly to heart in arelationship. But, oh noes, once more I have read at least one fic for thisship that I liked. And I kind of like the idea of fucked up Season Zero Seto/Shizuka a lot too ;_;

Thank you again for the ask x)

[heromanvasco]

☣ Have you ever rp'd with someone you knew for a fact was abusive but tried to give them a chance/to make up your own opinion on the roleplayer? Did they change or did you understand what people were talking about?

Taken from meme: [x] ||No longer accepting||

Warning: This will get long and I will be very mad as I recount this story. Sorry for me getting really riled up about it, but ughhhhhhhhh I just can't. I have to tell the full story to really get the point across.

OKAY SO LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT A PERSON. This person literallybecame the bane of my existence even though I didn't actually interact withthem in the truest sense.

Even though I wish for nothing more than for them to trip over arock and land on a pointy rock, I am still a bit grateful towards them. I'llget on that a lil later down the line.

Let's start with how I know them. As we may probably know, I'vestarted Tumblr rp'ing as an indie, with Haru Miura as my muse. A lot of theissues I have with tumblr rp'ing came about on her blog mainly. Ahahahathere were some hard times, but I stuck with it. I love Haru too much to justditch her, in other words. I'm a stubborn mule, what can I say?

Anyways, she's from the series: Katekyoushi Hitman Reborn! andthere are a lot of attractive male charas in the series. This fandom is justnotorious for the yaoi shipping. Like it's very hardcore. There are sometimeshetero ships too but not a lot of it.

Let's put it this way: I've been turned away many times with the'but my muse is gay' excuse. Like---- okay? Did I ask to get in their pants?No. Canonically, Haru is die-hard in love with 'Tsuna-san' so what now? Don'tuse that against me. B[

Again, lots of very attractive male charas... and these musesattracted a certain muse from the DNangel series. (yes the same one I mentionedin a different ask if you read that one) Daisuke has forever been ruined and Irefuse to even try to read the series because the situation just gave me somuch stress.

So the muse was set to a very young age, most probably the canonage. I forget if that meant he was 16 or younger. I don't know the series so Idon't know the age. Let me tell you, I have so many issues with the person. SO.MANY.

Where to start? There is the fact that even without eveninteracting with the muses to start, they'd instantly try to form relationswith them. Sending some suggestive memes or asks. You cannot just go to aGokudera and have Daisuke glomp him. It doesn't work that way? If you knowGokudera, you should know that he does NOT take kindly to people who act toofamiliar.

The mun could NOT understand for the life of her that mun=/=muse. They kept sending anons about why are they so mean? Be nice to that'Daisuke kid'. Um... no? How about you calm down a bit and actually try tointeract rather than jumping the gun? It was in their rules they wantCHEMISTRY. They want to take things slow and not jump the gun. You broke so manyof their rules. You kept sending in anon asks and even if they tried to talk toyou on im, you'd try to play all the pity cards.

I will NEVER EVER live down the fact that you told someone: I'mtaking medication because of you. It's because of you that I'm depressed so I'mtaking pills.

EXCUSE MOI!?!?!?!?!??!?? What is wrong withyou??????????????????? SHE ACTUALLY LEFT TUMBLR RP BECAUSE OF YOU. I LOST AFRIEND BECAUSE OF YOU. Then you have the gall to say that you never said it?I've seen the screenshots, don't mess with me.

I do NOT condone underaged things at all. Your muse is 16 andthere is no indication as to whether or not you (the mun) were underaged aswell. Of course people will be nervous about the way you kept trying to force18+ content on them. If you are underaged, that's illegal and that can makethings very complicated. People kept telling you they were uncomfortable withit, but all you'd say is: "Age is only a number!~"

YEAH? WELL, JAIL IS JAIL!

Now, I can think of at least 5 muses that I know were heavilyaffected by this person. I know for a FACT that at least 2 left because of themand their constant harassment. A very close friend of mine had to constantlytoggle between enabling and disabling anon asks because they'd send so many.

We don't understand how much anger and stress this caused me. Ireally detest seeing my friends bothered. Having two of them leave the rp sceneforever makes me so angry. They didn't really ever rp with any female muses.Only one that I saw and she was a space sheep alien... I'd show proof but theblogs have long since been deleted---.

Now, it isn't to say that they only targeted KHR muses. Therewere others too from DBZ, Jack Frost, Pitch, a final fantasy character (who Ican't remember), and many... many more.

If you didn't reply to them quickly enough, they would get madat you in im. They'd try to guilt trip you into answering quicker by sayingthings like they felt hated, why don't you like them? Are you avoiding them?Things of that nature. I've seen things of that nature from various people Italked to. I talked to a lot of people about their experiences with this mun.

You could see their ooc posts talking about how they felt and itsounded like this person just had a lot of self-confidence and perhaps trustissues. I know how that is. I felt maybe they were just misunderstood orsomething. IDK. I felt they could be given a chance to talk if someone tried toapproach them slowly. (more on this later)

Though I would look around and see all kinds of interactionswith other characters. Muns getting the same kind of harassments. It was evenWORSE when any of these muses interacted with a certain muse from the KHRfandom. Apparently the muses were dating? idk. Either way, Daisuke washorrendously jealous and territorial.

If you so much as interacted with that KHR muse or had anythingremotely flirty in thread, an anon was sure to tell you to back off. They'dgrill you with questions about 'how do you feel about them?' 'are you datingthem?' things like that. It's annoying. I saw those messages so much. That KHRmuse is sort of a main character so it's hard to NOT interact with them if youare in the KHR fandom?

Like what do you want? Chill out, boo.

I've seen many friends of mine just being harassed by anonsbecause they interacted with them. Hilariously enough that other mun didnothing about it. Even if people asked them to talk to that person. Make themstop harassing people. She apparently doesn't like drama and that's fine--- butif you are the REASON because a lot of the drama because your friend refuses tochill--- That is quite literally your problem.

I do not believe you are being a good friend if you allow suchbehavior to continue. Even if she had a reason to acting that horribly topeople, you could always try to explain to people so they understand. Whenpeople understand, they may be more willing to forgive. The fact that she didabsolutely nothing did absolutely nothing to help either of their case. In theend many people tried to avoid both muns.

I played a female muse so it was fine for me to continueinteracting with them though. I never got hassled by them. I unfollowed thatKHR muse the moment I saw that she went along with doing 18+ stuff with thatunderage muse. I personally couldn't do it. It made me think of something in myown past and it made me feel horrible. I still interact with them, but I don'tfollow em.

So I saw their condescending attitude on many blogs. This onepitch in particular kept getting hounded over why they wouldn't be kind to Daisuke.(We realize this is PITCH, yes?) They were getting hounded by anons over whythey wouldn't give Daisuke (a kid) a chance. Like, it's illegal, that's why.

They weren't replying quickly enough to the threads they onlydid in ask format. The person was getting upset with how 'slow' they werebeing. They had time for 'other people' so why were you avoiding their threads?Why can't you reply already? Then it happened: "I'll give you one morechance to thread with me."

Yes, that is what was sent. I'm dead serious. I got sent thattoo so I mean, yeah.

Let's move away from other people and let's talk about ME. As Isaid, they don't interact with male muses. The only muse that I could possiblyplay as (and was super duper attractive) was Shugarl. I had a lot of caps in mycomputer because I like his face.

I sort of rp'ed as him 2 years prior to that but it didn'treally last as the only friend I interacted with left tumblr rp because ofdrama. So I shelved Shugarl and the Knights from the 'Legend of the Sun Knight'series. So I was like okay why not.

They do know of me from Haru's blog, so I had to make analterego mun. I named them Jay. This version acts like Neo when she's justtired and done with the world. I had to pretend to be a new person. Iinteracted with a close friend who was hassled by Daisuke a ton, and then Iinteracted with the KHR muse that Daisuke apparently is shipping with. That'show Daisuke took the bait and contacted me.

It didn't take long. I mean if you look at how attractiveShugarl is, wouldn't you also bite? lol

Anyways, I tried to talk to them, but unfortunately at the timeI was really sick. I was on a lot of medication because of my gastritis. It wasmost probably stress induced but also because of my diet? When I'm stressed, Icrave spicy food. If you know those super hot fire noodles... let's say I livedon that for a while lol. So yeah it got bad. Just drinking water had methrowing up everything in my stomach. I lost 15+ pounds in under a month.

It was bad. My one medication had a side effect of extremedrowsiness. Let me tell you, EXTREME was right. I was constantly just passingout. So I wasn't around much to talk or thread. Let's say that started gettingthem mad.

Why wasn't I responding? Did I hate them? Stop ignoring them. Ikept having to sorta apologize for being 'busy' aka I was super sick but Ididn't want to admit that. I'm stupid like that, okay?

So I kept asking them how they wanted to interact. I didn't knowa thing about their muse so I asked for their about page. Or even a rules page.They didn't have one. Too much work. Okay no, they had an about page but it wasliterally like their url, the name, age, and gender or something. A very simplebio.

They told me to read wiki to learn about the muse. Are youkidding me? No rules because why do they need one? Mistake number 1. They keptsaying they read rules of many blogs but we know they didn't. They keptbreaking them. It was in Jay's rules to not pester them too much about activitybecause he was a busy college student.

Did that stop them? Nope. //squint

Now let me tell you, even if I was sick, I still visited tumblrevery day. So making them wait for 3-5 hours was too long. I was going to begraduating and I had finals. YEAH, I'M BUSY. I was also super duper sick. Iwon't be online every waking moment, please. Did that stop them from getting somad at me about it? Nope.

I told them that I felt that they were guilt tripping me becausethey kept lamenting over how people don't want to interact with them. They keepgetting 'bullied' by people. I told them that I felt they were guilt trippingme at the moment. They kept saying that they weren't before they blocked me.Then a week passed and they talked to me like 'sorry I accidentally blockedyou!'

Sure. okay.

So I was like 'okay we can thread but I want to talk to youabout how I felt you were guilt tripping me.'

INSTA-BLOCKED.

I'm not kidding. I got blocked by just that. Do you understandhow much my animosity spiked because of that? My blood was curdling I was somad.

So another like half a week passed and they say something alongthe lines of:

"I'll give you another chance, do you want to thread with meor not?"

"I already told you that I want to thread with you. Youkeep asking me this. This is the 5th time you asked me. How many times do Ihave to tell you yes? Do you not understand that I'm busy? I'm a collegestudent. I'm not always online. I also told you saying things like that isreally guilt trippy."

Insta-blocked. I was mad, so I went off so I can understand theblock.

Still.

After being blocked for the THIRD time, I soft-blocked them.They tried to follow me again and sent a message: hi! :) This time Iinsta-blocked them. Not about that life.

I love how they always started and talked with cat emojis. Bylove, I MEAN I HATE IT WITH A DIE HARD PASSION. It was like they cared fornothing that other people felt. It was their way or the high way. They couldn'tbother to learn to do anything for other people.

Don't get me started on the fact that they didn't tag anythingand they NEVER EVER CUT THREADS. NEVER. Do you know how hard it was for me tofind anything on that blog? One thread was over 100 notes long and it wasn'tcut. Let that sink in.

It was long.

I had them followed on Shugarl's first blog. Do you know what mydash looked like? It was one-liner 100+ note uncut thread HELL.

So in other words, I wanted to talk to them and be a friend.Someone that they could talk to. I tried to talk to them many times but theykept saying 'I'm feeling uncomfortable so I don't want to talk about thisanymore'.

Dude, one time all I said was: "I think you should tryputting up a rules page. A lot of people like seeing one."

"I feel uncomfortable so I want to talk about somethingelse."

.... wut. Like, WHAT? I was just... giving you advice? It wasthe start of our interactions too. I just-- what?

I kept asking them if they wanted me to write the starter andthey kept holding back like 'I want to talk it out first' because they didn'tknow my muse. So I explained to them and they kept asking stupid questions.

"So he's an angry human?" "I just told you he's a demon. Like, he’s a real demon." "Oh okay! :) So he's got special powers. He's got angelic powers?""No... I just told you he's a demon." "What powers does he have?" "He makes use of mathematical equations to summon blades and otherthings." "Oh okay."

5 mins later."Can you tell me more about his fire powers?" "... He doesn't have fire powers??? Are you even reading any of what I'msaying? You are the one who asked me to tell you about my muse. It's rude foryou to not be properly reading." "I don't feel comfortable anymore, so I'm going to go to bed. Bye! =^.^="

I legit felt like I got cancer from this person.

I'm so serious. I forever laugh how they tried to make mepromise to be nice to Daisuke.

"I can't promise that. Shugarl is a demon. He's not nice,but he can be nice towards kids sometimes. You need to make Daisukebehave."

"I can make him glomp him and have marshmallows!"

"He will literally kick Daisuke if you do that. I told youhe's not nice."

"He's such a meanie!"

"He's a literal demon."

It was like talking to a 5 year old.

So in the end, I tried to interact with them but they drove meso insane we didn't even get that far before I finally blocked them forever.

---

TLDR: I tried to give them a chance but I couldn't do it. Mypatience reached it's limit and I blocked them. This is the first and only rpblog I ever blocked to truly block them and not to softblock. All because ofthis person, the name 'Daisuke' makes me feel unjust rage, and I'll never everlook at DNangel the same way. I'll never even attempt to touch the serieseither.

[flowisk]

Claptrap: A Somewhat Extensive Autistic Headcanon

aka the Autistic Claptrap Masterpost First off: my starting premise. My thoughts on Claptrap are that he is (accidentally) written as autistic, and the trait he exhibits as mockable and socially awkward are mostly autistic traits. Claptrap is written as a buttmonkey type of character, and the traits they use to write him are traits exhibited by autistic people. I don’t think this is on purpose, I think it is the sort of thing that happens when you have met autistic people in your life who you do not know are autistic. He is written to be the type of character who makes people socially uncomfortable. Unfortunately, as if often the case, what comes to mind when you look for those kinds of traits are autistic traits.  Now... > From Claptrap’s early beginnings in BLTPS, he is a character who is analyzed as having ‘something wrong with the way he thinks’. Angel and Jack both comment on this. Angel says ‘you can’t fight it, you have to work with it’ and Jack repeatedly lambastes and hurts Claptrap for not understanding things. In fact, the words used to describe Claptrap by characters confirm he has a cognitive disability, a canonical learning disability. Angel discusses how you have to ‘work with his programming, not against it’. Karina, the leader of the town Claptrap set off the fireworks, tells Claptrap that ‘his heart is in the right place even if his brain isn’t.’ > He is a character everyone finds socially awkward, and has a difficult time being around. He is hyper loquacious, he doesn’t take proper breaks in conversation, he has a hard time recognizing when to stop talking. Claptrap is aware of his own social awkwardness, and comments on it. However, even though he is aware of his issues with communication (he knows he has a hard time reading people, and expresses this) he also doesn’t have any way to fix his issues with people. He can’t magically become better at social recognition, at saying the right things or responding in the correct way. Keep in mind, even in situations where it is dangerous for him to talk, and he was met with physical abuse, like when staying with Captain Flynt, he couldn’t resist asking questions and still couldn’t parse when was an appropriate time to talk or not. An incredibly unfortunate example of this is seen when Flynt plays old recordings of Claptrap and Flynt together. (Flynt: A few of your have asked me why I keep playing these pre-recorded messages on a loop. Well, I’ve got a great answer for you: a red-hot poker to the eye. Isn’t that right, Claptrap? Claptrap: IT WAS JUST A QUESTION, MISTER FLYNT!!) > Claptrap does not take ‘hints’ easily. When people are mean to him in BLTPS, he assumes that they are his friends regardless and this is their way of expressing that even if he doesn’t understand it. He has a hard interpreting people’s words beyond face value. > Claptrap overshares, all the time, and lacks the capability to filter what he should or should not share. He talks about how he has he has an issue with his central processor that makes him share what’s on his mind. He has a hard time not talking. Even when he tries to give the player silent treatment, he can’t stop talking. > Claptrap’s model in-game is characterized by stimming, and repetitive motions and behaviours. In fact, more than other character’s idle motions are! Most characters idle motions are pretty still for the most part, aside from the BL1 crew. If you stand in front of Claptrap in Bl2 he is always rocking back and forth (vestibular stimming). If you meet him in Bl1 he is always volunteering to dance, and he continues to beatbox in BL2 repeatedly as a sound he likes. These are all very stimmy things. Also, if you’ve ever played the Poker Night game with him, he is always humming and moving in that even while sitting. He does a lot of audio stimming. In Poker Night 2 he even mentions playing kitten videos on his other processor while playing the game. > Repetitive vocalizations: tendency to repeat things, especially dubstep. His dubstep is so common you’d be hardpressed to find a form of media he’s in that doesn’t reference how he does it/can’t stop doing it at least once. > He has a loud voice, tonal issues and is designed to lack inflection. His voice doesn’t convey what he’s feeling. Although it’s a feature of ‘design’, it could be argued all Claptraps represent the same issues/are designed to be autistic. At large, they are considered imperfect: loud, klutzy, and incapable of providing the social finesse they are built for. > Which, speaking of, Claptrap is klutzy. He has some issues with motor control. > Claptrap appears to have executive dysfunction issues which is where a lot of anger in the series directed at him comes from, and a lot of how he fails to live up to what people want from him. Claptrap performs poorly. Partially because of the social aspect, and partially because Claptrap has issues following commands and remembering things, cognitive isues with details. Noteably, we have his flashback of what went wrong with the fireworks. There was no malice on his part. He couldn’t remember. Claptrap messes up orders, commands, instructions giving, many of these things a lot of the time, and none of it is on purpose. > Issues with emotional regulation: Claptrap cries a lot. Noteably, he isn’t always aware of it - ‘am i leaking?’ and he doesn’t always know why he’s doing it. > There are autistic people who rarely use gestures, and then there’s autistic people who use lots and lots of gestures. Claptrap is the second. Always using his hands in big exaggerated motion. > Claptrap’s communication issues are bad enough that he is ostracized in the communities he enters for it. This is partially because Claptrap is a tool and non person already to most people, but (worse) he is seen as a dysfunctional tool and non person > One of the most consistent characteristics about Claptrap is that he is impulsive and has issues with long-term planning. When Claptrap receives money, when Claptrap launches attacks, he immediately blows money or is making things up on the spot as his plan unfold. > Claptrap uses social scripts that he applies to all situations. An example of this is shown in Poker Night 2, ‘don’t look at the money or it’ll think you’re a creep’. Claptrap appears to have social scripts he follows for all situations regardless of context. > Socially inappropriate statements: many. > Unusual sense of humour. Claptrap has a tendency to over explain his jokes in case people don’t get it. He’s also pretty rigid about why his jokes are funny or aren’t. He will explain puns to someone to show why they’re funny and why someone should be laughing at them because they hit the checkpoints of humour. > Autism is characterized both by high empathy and low empathy depending. Claptrap has pretty high empathy - so much that he is very sensitive to other people’s loneliness, and it is in fact his biggest fear. Other people’s loneliness is in fact a greater fear for him than his own loneliness. He also has moments where he experiences low empathy, where he is out of step of the emotions of the people around him and reacts insensitively. > Very trusting in other people and believes others have good intentions (at first - we see Claptrap become more distrustful of people due to the fact people often have very bad intentions concerning him). Often leads to exploitation, as in Claptrap’s case.  > Sensory seeking - dude seeks out stimulating environments, sounds, noises and textures in many ways. Even in that early quest with the soft bullymong fur. I also found someone who wrote an interesting thread on Steam about the genocide of the Claptraps and related ableism here: check it Also relatedly, look at this art of this inspiring Claptrap: x And this one: x

[distant-rose-archive-blog]

I just wanted you to know that I just read all of the Little Pirates series this weekend and I am so, so, so in love with your Jones children. They feel like real honest to god kids with actual personalities rather than carbon copies of their parents. Beth is a riot and I'm trash for her and Killian's relationship. I have a few questions for you though. 1. How did you come up with the characters of Harrison, Wes, Beth and Neddy? They're amazing but they don't feel like Sues. (1/?)

I feel like that’s always a challenge in fanfiction writing with original characters. 2. Are you ever going to write a multi-chapter story for the kids or just continue just writing snippets of their lives as you are now? Because I would honest read the heck out of anything story you write for them. No pressure! 3. How many Little Pirates one-shots do you plan on writing and are you willing to write anything for Captain Swan that isn’t a part of the series? (2/3) Regardless of your answer, I will always read whatever you write. 4. You reblog a lot of Captain Swan stuff, which I appreciate, but are you going to watch Season Seven and do you think Season Seven will affect the Little Pirates series especially if it’s revealed that Killian and Emma have a child in the canon? You’ve kinda been quiet on that. (3/3)

As I have not updated all weekend since I was in my cousin’s wedding, I wasn’t expecting anything in my inbox this morning. I was pleasantly surprised and a bit overwhelmed when I checked into my tumblr this morning while I was having my coffee. I’m a wee bit hungover from yesterday.

I’m glad you like Little Pirates. I personally love writing the Killian-Beth dynamic as well since a lot of it is based upon my relationship with my own father. So, I love writing them. I love writing them all really, hence why I do it in the first place. 

I honestly feel like I’m being interviewed with the amount of questions you have, which I’m both flattered and overwhelmed by. I will try to answer them as best as I can. I apologize for the really long-winded answers, which is why I’m putting a “read more” here because it’s just a bloody essay.

1. It’s kinda hard to describe my character development/creation, but I’m generally struck with ideas of personalities while I’m doing something and I work from there. Beth came to me first. I just thought of someone who was super cheeky, super blunt and incredibly impulsive. Wes came to me originally as a rebel without a cause kind of guy who loves music more than people (this is still true) and Harrison was always just this haggard older sibling who feels the need to protect and keep the younger ones out of trouble, which ages him like a few good years. Neddy was late to the game. He was originally this quiet imp, but over time, he’s become much more thoughtful and sweet, but very secretive because he never wants to upset anyone. He’s aware he’s babied and wishes they would just stop. 

My key to making them not Sue-ish, I guess, is the fact I don’t view them as anyone I would want to be. I make them fuck up. A lot. They’re people I understand, but I don’t want to be them or really hang out with them. I gave a lot of them my own faults. 

Both Beth and Wes are inherently selfish and impulsive people who have absolutely no respect for authority or anyone really. They’ve not really sensitive to the feelings of others at all. They think it’s more important to spit the truth than consider how someone would feel about it. So you have three serious character faults right there. On top of that, neither of them are really in touch or want to talk about their own feelings. They would rather hide behind sarcasm and wit, then have a serious conversation about emotions.

Beth and Wes are also manipulative, though Beth more so than Wes. She’s so in habit of manipulating people that sometimes she doesn’t recognize when she does it, which will be explored later on. She’s manipulative, a skilled liar (something she shares with Ned) and on top of that, she’s very spiteful. She does a lot of things out of spite and anger without thinking about the long term. She has an entire serious relationship when she’s older out of spite due to the man she loves telling her that he doesn’t want to be with her. It’s a very shitty thing on her part. She took someone’s emotions for a ride because she wanted to make someone jealous. It’s not cool, but people do that. She’s human and flawed.

Wes is entire another bag of issues. I’m not sure if it’s been translating well, but he’s like a borderline sociopath at times. Wes is very charismatic, people are drawn to him, but he’s not really drawn to people. He could survive without people rather easily. He would miss certain people, but he could do without. He likes company, but doesn’t crave or need it. He’s very much lone wolf out of the four. He also has zero respect for authority and boundaries and has no issues breaking them for himself or the people he cares about which is a very short li- it’s basically just his siblings, Gideon and Bobbi. I haven’t talked about magic much, but Wes is obsessed with magic and sees his magic as an extension of himself. He would struggle picking between magic and people, which I personally am horrified by. He’s a bit Rumple-like when it comes to magic since he’s something he’s naturally good at. A lot of this stems from his competitive nature and jealousy. If you haven’t noticed, which you might have not because I haven’t necessarily pointed it out but I have tried to write it as a background issue, but there’s a lot of tension between Harrison and Wes. They snip a lot, because Wes is extremely jealous of Harrison and the perceived favoritism towards Harrison. He sees Harrison as the “golden son” and as someone to compete with. Harrison has no talent whatsoever in magic while Wes does, it’s something where he is just better than his brother at. 

Harrison and Ned are more on the introverted side. They’ve both more reserved and quiet. Harrison is more quiet out of social anxiety. A lot of that stems from expectations put on him when he was very young, not necessarily by his parents but by the community. His looks, which are very similar to Killian’s, have made really made a lot of people expect him to be like his father. They see him as a min-Killian, he’s just not. Harrison knows he’s not capable of that, which is natural since he’s his own person. He doesn’t feel he has his own autonomy and it really stresses him out. He doesn’t want to be either of his parents, he just wants to be himself but that’s not what people want so he’s just internally a mess. He has a very negative self-image and zero confidence - it doesn’t help that Wes constantly derides him. He also has anxiety because he feels the need to protect his siblings who are more outgoing and wild than he is. Killian subconsciously has conditioned Harrison to constantly feel the need to protect them like Liam protected Killian. So, more often than not, Harrison is put into very uncomfortable situations in order to help out the other three who constantly blunder into horrible situations because they have zero impulse control and are more extroverted than he is. He gets like gray hairs in his twenties from the stress of them. On top of that, Harrison is a bit on the righteous side - very David-like. His moral code is a bit black and white, which kinda leads him disapproving of a lot of the shenanigans that go on around him. There’s a reason, he’s on medication for anxiety. Some of it is family, but a lot of it is self-imposed.

Ned…this child. He’s new and I’m still working on him, but he’s very much babied and constantly shielded by everyone and he’s aware of it. He’s annoyed by it, which has led to him being very sneaky, secretive, cunning and a very gifted liar. He loves his family, but often views them as obstacles to his own fun and experiences so he lies A LOT to keep them for catching on, disapproving or freaking out about what he’s doing. Like he’s really young in the series so far, but when he’s older, like every other thing he says to his family is a lie. Like he’s very into baseball, which causes some strain with Killian because of his disability and Ned just hides the fact he’s playing baseball up until like high school. Just would say he’s over a friends’ house whenever he had a game. He fixes his report cards so his parents don’t stop him from having fun. That sort of nonsense. It just leads to so many issues. On top of that, he really resents the age differences between him and his siblings and basically tries to grow up too fast at times. Like he gets a tattoo at sixteen to match the one that the older three have. He makes so many horrible mistakes in high school in regards to partying, girls, drinking and sports that he’s kinda “been there, done that” by college and really is just the responsible one out of his baseball team and is more focused on baseball, his grades and writing than having fun. Which of course leads to him being kinda estranged from his team who hasn’t gotten to his level yet. He’s like a geek-jock in college with like only three friends.

Long story short: FLAWS. FLAWS ARE FUCKING IMPORTANT. Flaws make the characters, which is why sometimes hard to relate to characters like Superman. Sues are boring. Perfection is dull. 

2. Am I ever going to write multiple chapters on the Little Pirates? Maybe, but not likely. I have a ton of story arcs that I could write multi-chapters on but I don’t think I have a big enough audience to really write those. I mean older!Jones children have really colorful lives - Beth ends up a fucking realm jumping pirate in her own right, Harrison has an adventure in Agrabah and overcomes a lot of his anxiety before he replaces Emma as the Sheriff of Storybrooke, Wes has a lot of adventures involving magic with Gideon and Bobbi and Ned finds his own fairytale adventures while in college. I love these stories and I could write them, but they feature very little of the original cast which I don’t think a lot of people are interested in them. However, I am planning a Henry centric Labyrinth crossover fic which does have infant!Harrison (babe with the power) in it, which could count as a part of Little Pirates, but will mainly be stand-alone.

3. I think I’ve said this before, but I have no idea how many one-shots I’m going to write for Little Pirates. I have no end number in mind. Though I do know I have at least ten ideas in the works that are a mix of requests, original ideas and semi-requests. I just made a queue bar so people can see where their requests/prompts are in my lineup. As for non-Little Pirate related material, I’ve thought about it. I’ve really wanted to write a Top AU-Captain Swan/Captain Charming fic where Killian is Maverick, Emma is Charlie, Liam is Goose and David is Iceman. I’ve been doing research for it and I’ve found that like 60% of Top Gun is like actually impossible so I’m trying to make a more realistic plot line and it’s just been nutty research-wise. I’ve also been thinking about doing a Henry centric summer league t-ball story that’s about Henry figuring his life out post-college with a romance plot line with Ava Zimmer, but that could be considered a part of LP because it would feature Wes and Harrison. I’m like incapable of writing anything but domestic Captain Swan it seems. I suck and like my own characters too much. So, needless to say I’m trying, but failing fucking miserably. Too many ideas, not enough time to research and write them. 

4. I’m little confused on this last question. I haven’t said anything about OUAT season seven…at all. I haven’t been quiet at all. The reality is that I haven’t said a word. There’s a reason for that. While I plan on watching season seven because I adore Colin O’Donoghue and Hook…I’m just not excited. I love Captain Swan and I really don’t trust A+E to do this season right without Jennifer Morrison. I’m just not really invested in it, but I am curious what they’re going to do. After reading all the D23 stuff over this weekend despite being at my cousin’s wedding, I’m like 60% convinced there is a canon Captain Swan spawn, which could be interesting but I’m not like over the moon about it. I could live with or without it. I’m kinda “meh.”

I’m not sure how or why OUAT season seven would effect Little Pirates in any shape or form. I think I’ve made it clear that it’s a canon divergence post-season six. Everything that happened between seasons one to six is canon, but season seven has absolutely no baring on my universe at all. It would be insane to try and incorporate season seven stuff into my universe which is like 85% fully formed. I intend to view season seven as an alternate reality to mine. Like in comic terms, the season seven is Earth-1 and Little Pirates is like Earth-16. LOL.

Unless you’re asking if I’m going to stop writing Little Pirates because season seven would make it not-canon, which, the answer to that is no way in hell am I going to stop writing just because my universe isn’t canon. Captain Swan is one of the very few OTPs that I have that IS canon. Canon disagreements don’t bother me. I’m happy to live in my own little universe while the canon goes in an entirely different direction. So, I’m not bothered. I assume I will get less readers because of season seven, but whatever. Eh. 

Apologies for the novel length response, but you did ask a lot of questions. I hope I answered them to your satisfaction.

[newyorktheater]

The stunning production of “Fairview,” Jackie Siblies Drury’s challenging play, is now being remounted with the same extraordinary cast and creative team at the Theatre for a New Audience in Brooklyn, a year after its brief run at the smaller Soho Rep, and two months after winning the 2019 Pulitzer Prize for Drama. The new run offers theatergoers a second chance to see what the buzz was about. But, for better or for worse, this second run also comes with a new context.

“Fairview” is in three acts, each one cleverly investing the title of the play with a completely different meaning, and in the process blowing up the audience’s perceptions and increasing our discomfort.

In the first, Fairview sounds like the name of the suburb where the play takes place. As it begins, Beverly (Heather Alicia Simms) is peeling carrots over the dinner table in the living room, preparing for a birthday dinner for her mother. One by one the other characters enter – her loving and lovable husband Dayton (Charles Browning), who has to be prodded to bring the correct silverware; her visiting sister Jasmine (Roslyn Ruff), about whom Dayton says “That woman knows every thing about every body and never has one good thing to say about anybody”; Beverly’s bubbly teenage daughter Keisha (MaYaa Boateng), who chatters on about a teammate who is always late for practice, but then asks Jasmine a favor – to help her convince Beverly to allow her to take a “gap year” before college. Mentioned but not yet arriving at the party – Tyrone, Beverly’s busy if neglectful brother, who is a lawyer on the fast track to make partner, and Mama herself unseen upstairs.  Keisha talks about her best friend Erika.

It feels like an affectionate, and inviting, and familiar, look at a comfortable black middle class family. It promises some laughs, some warmth, maybe some low-stakes intrigue that leads to a moment where a character says something wise or sentimental.

“I love these women,” Keisha says, in an aside to the audience. “Joy. And Dancing and Singing!”

But from the get-go, things also seem a little… off.  There’s a bit too much dancing and singing, and even when Jasmine is not dancing, her gestures are self-consciously theatrical, almost regal. The music Beverly turns on has momentary blips and glitches. There is something too elegant about Mimi Lien’s set; the color scheme — off-white, decorated with an all-white abstract painting — starts to feel like a clue. Most telling of all, in retrospect, is the very first line of the play. Beverly says to Dayton: “What are you looking at?!”and then “You say hello, you don’t just watch a person.” Much later Keisha says to another character: “I can’t hear anything but you staring at me.”

Drury has said that “Fairview” grew out of her interest in exploring “surveillance.”  By the end of the play, it seems clear the playwright has been examining what many have come to call the white gaze. The white gaze can be taken as literal in the theater, given the demographics of theatergoers. This was driven home by a recent essay in the Washington Post by Gbenga Akinnagbe, who portrays wrongly-accused black defendant Tom Robinson in To Kill A Mockingbird, who wrote about how taxing it has been to portray an oppressed black man in front of a mostly white audience eight times a week.

But in Fairview, Drury is making a larger point, delivered meta-theatrically, that black people always feel on stage, always being observed, judged, summed up.

This message helps make “Fairview” tricky to review.

In awarding “Fairview” the Pulitzer, the jury described the play as:

“A hard-hitting drama that examines race in a highly conceptual, layered structure, ultimately bringing audiences into the actors’ community to face deep-seated prejudices.”

Is it fair now in a review to reveal more of that “layered structure” than most reviewers did last year? The concept of a “spoiler” arguably has been rendered moot in a work that’s been labeled an exemplar of the age and thus considered a candidate for the canon.

For that matter, are there any great plays that hinge on surprise – that are “spoiled” if you know in advance what happens? Does “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf” have less of an impact to those theatergoers who already know George and Martha’s secrets? Will “Fairview” on a second viewing?

The theatergoers in Ancient Greece are said to have known the plots of all the great tragedies in advance; scholars maintain that the communal knowledge  is much of what gave these plays their power.

There’s much talk these days that our culture has become atomized – that our digital lives are divided into niches, that there’s no longer any collective knowledge. But “Fairview” implicitly assumes a modern-day communal knowledge – the knowledge of family dynamics that comes from watching sitcoms. In “Fairview,” Drury is questioning the accuracy – and fairness — of that knowledge.

For those of you who are planning to attend “Fairview”; feel I’ve told you enough so far to go on; and/or don’t want anything “spoiled”: You can stop reading this review at the end of this paragraph.  But I will continue to describe the play (beneath the photographs), albeit mostly in outline, for two basic reasons. It will help explain how well crafted Drury’s writing is, how complicated the challenge mastered by the actors, and how both technically and aesthetically accomplished the work of the creative team  — Sarah Benson’s direction, Raja Feather Kelly’s choreography,  the quartet of designers’ intricately coordinated production.  I also feel it only fair that a theatergoer be told what exactly is potentially uncomfortable in the show, so that they can make an informed decision about whether they want to attend.

Heather Alicia Simms as Beverly

Charles Browning as Dayton

Heather Alicia Simms and Charles Browning as man and wife Heather and Charles

Roslyn Ruff as Jasmine

MaYaa Boateng as Keisha

At the end of the first act, in the suburb of Fairview, Beverly faints, the lighting changes – and the entire first act repeats, with two crucial differences.  The first is that none of the characters from the first act say any of their dialogue; they silently and precisely repeat every movement they made.  This showcases Kelly’s choreography,  revealing just how inspired and meticulous it is. The choreographer has planted gestures in the voiced run-through of Act I that now have a different resonance in the second run-through. We are made to grasp the artificiality of performances we had taken to be largely realistic.

The second difference in Act II is that there is now a soundtrack – a voiceover discussion of race by four new characters, all of whom are white. And this is now the second meaning of fair view – fair as in white.  The first part of their conversation is each in turn discussing the question: “If you could choose to be any race at all, what race would you be?” What’s especially admirable in this cringe-worthy conversation is that it is not terribly exaggerated. Their commentary stays within the bounds of what you might actually overhear people, maybe slightly drunk, saying at a party.  It reflects distinctly different attitudes towards race — blunt, ignorant, tortured, patronizing, well-meaning, from “You’d just want to be Black so you could say the N-word.” To “the person in my life who expressed love to me in a way that I could feel it, that was Mabel.” (her black nanny) – all problematic because the subjects of their conversation are treated like The Other.

Both the movement on stage and the voiceover commentary become increasingly overheated and surreal and more and more interconnected (kudos for the coordination both to Kelly and sound designer Mikaal Sulaiman.) And then, in Act III, the white characters appear on stage, taking the identity of the characters we were waiting for in Act I – Tyrone, Mama. Montana Blanco goes to town with their costumes, a pointed satire on white envy, appropriation and distortion of black culture. They are intruders and instigators, changing the narrative, imposing stereotypical behavior and situations on the black characters. One even breaks in on Keisha’s aside, a violation of standard theatrical practice.

It’s all too much for Keisha, who rebels, breaks the fourth wall, and talks in a long, impassioned monologue (beautifully delivered by MaYaa Boateng) about the need for white people “to make space for us” for “my people of color…my colorful people.” She makes her point about the dominance of the white gaze not so much through her words, which are not especially memorable, as through one action, requiring audience participation. It is the third meaning of the title of the play – and it is itself a pun. She is asking for a fair view – fair as in just, view as in perspective. The last word in the piece is “fair.”

But she also means a literal view: In a variation of what Taylor Mac did at one point in his A 24 Decade History of Popular Music, Keisha/MaYaa Boateng asks, gently insists, that all the white people in the audience get up on the stage, and all the black characters/actors sit in the audience. Those theatergoers who don’t identify as white stay seated.  Keisha/Boateng (for it’s not clear at this point whether it’s the character or the actress) sits in a row in the middle of the auditorium, with her back to the stage, facing the theatergoers who remain in their seats for her climactic address.

It’s proven an uncomfortable moment for many people, for a variety of reasons.  “It’s curious to me that even a simple embodiment of a gesture toward dismantling white supremacy is so difficult for people to do,” Drury told American Theatre Magazine about this moment. There feels in her remark a lack of empathy towards theatergoers, who may be disabled for example, or shy, or ambivalent or uncertain about their identity.

It might be worth mentioning that the Pulitzer is awarded for a script, not a production; the five jurors, all of whom were white, might not have had to get out of their seats, because they might not have attended a performance.  If you find my mention of the jurors’ race irrelevant and even in questionable taste, “Fairview” might not be for you.

  Fairview TFANA at Polonsky Shakespeare Center Written by Jackie Sibblies Drury; Choreography by Raja Feather Kelly; Directed by Sarah Benson. Set design by Mimi Lien, costume design by Montana Blanco, lighting design by Amith Chandrashaker, sound design by Mikaal Sulaiman Cast: MaYaa Boateng, Charles Browning, Hannah Cabell, Natalia Payne, Jed Resnick, Luke Robertson, Roslyn Ruff , Heather Alicia Simms Running time: About two hours, with no intermission Tickets: $55-$115. “New Deal” tickets for those ages 30 and under or full-time students of any age: $20 Fairview is on stage through July 28, 2019

    Fairview Review: 2019 Pulitzer Winning Drama About Race and the White Gaze Remounted The stunning production of “Fairview,” Jackie Siblies Drury’s challenging play, is now being remounted with the same extraordinary cast and creative team at the Theatre for a New Audience in Brooklyn, a year after its brief run at the smaller Soho Rep, and two months after winning the 2019 Pulitzer Prize for Drama.