#and deserves a hell of a lot more love
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vent post
#and before anyone who hates my shit says “yeah because you ARE a loser way to have self awareness for once”#i promise you this would be me with or without the LO fandom LMAO#anxiety is a hell of a thing#and as much as i internally guilt myself into thinking it would be better if i just shut up and hid away forever#i also know that's the trauma speaking because the adults around me always told me to shut up#and even as an adult i still encounter people who talk over me and make me feel like i'm not allowed to be outspoken#but the pen is mightier than the sword and all those years i've spent being spoken over i've been honing my penmanship#i have fun talking about the things i talk about and i don't have any less right than anyone else to do it#i am cringe and i am free#self post#vent post#altho on another note i do wanna make time this week to go find new series to read#too many of my favorites have turned to shit and it's taken its toll#i KNOW there are better comics out there that are genuinely well made#i already have a few that i'm reading that i love but i need to balance out the good with the bad more lol#i just need to take the time to go find good stuff instead of pouring so much of my attention into the bullshit that doesn't deserve my tim#i think both things can be true#i can have a lot of fun dissecting and writing about series i don't like#while also nourishing myself with good works that restore my faith in this medium#“perfectly balanced as all things should be”
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He's a Beautiful Butterfly!
#tgcf#hua cheng#xie lian#In a moment of perfect seridipity; this was on the same page as my forgotten pahknohk redraw.#Butterfly creature hua cheng is one of my favourite doodles to do when I'm sitting around waiting for something or in a long meeting#They are all very silly and he is always having a good time. As he should be.#'OP Why?' I am once again putting it out in the universe that all the poorly drawn characters are 3-7 cm tall. They are all creatures.#If you wanna see pretty; ask to see San Lang. He's just the normaliest guy ever!#Hua Cheng in particular deserves to be a lot more monstrous and uncanny. Love me some uncanny HC designs#I also do want to reflect on the fact that initially I was like 'Dang his esteem is so low - he should be genuinely monstrous.'#then i realized 'oh god he's just like me for real (grew up ugly and unwanted and now can't reconcile with being Not That as an adult)'.#Growing up pretty privilege is not doubting what the hell people mean by complementing you. Why are you lying. What do you want.#Shout out to all of us insecure creatures. We'll get there eventually <3
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they should've made my brother the older of the two of us. i mean he's smarter, he's cooler, he's bigger, he looks better than me, he's more determined than me, more analytical, more disciplined. of course, that'd mean I'd shrink into the background of my life like a rather pitiful peanut but hey, at least I'd have an excuse for it this time around
#i was... not okay. for a lot of my teen years. my parents had to keep so much attention on me#which. frankly didn't even work either. i don't think they were the right parents to grow a trans kid. for all they clearly love me & i too#they just didn't have the resources. but just bc their efforts didn't work that didn't mean my bro got any less the short end of the stick#and that's not fair. he deserved all the time and attention i got. hell he deserved twice as much. the kid's a legend. it wasn't fair#he's younger than me and probably already twice the person I'll ever be#it's incredible what a good man he turned out despite it all. i wish#. I don't know. I don't know what i wish. I don't feel very good about myself today#i wish i got to know him more. back then. instead of being all fucked up in the head. i look at other siblings we know and i just#i feel like that door closed up on us. and i hate it. i hate it so much
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‼️The Cruel Prince spoilers‼️
I’m not the only one who never forgave Taryn for what she did to Jude right? Like with Valerian and Locke, yeah I despised them, but it’s not like I truly expected them to be better. But taryn was jude’s family. Her twin. And it makes it worse that Jude was always so savagely loyal to Taryn when Taryn wouldn’t do the same for her. Like Jude straight up shoved Cardan into a tree without thinking because he made her sister cry. Whereas Taryn not only didn’t help Jude, was the reason she was suffering and sincerely didn’t see how she was being awful??? I was honestly hoping when they duelled that Jude would rightfully beat the shit out of taryn because of all the ways she’d let Jude down. It still makes me mad to think about. Jude just deserved better. Ugh.
#taryn duarte hate club#SPOILERS LOOK AWAY#i wanted to marry cardan on the lone basis of him making taryn cry#everything he said was right#like she comes around and i was so glad that she and vivi were there for jude#(although tbh it would’ve been crazy if they hadn’t given jude was bleeding out from an awful wound but i digress)#but taryn fucked up hell of a lot and jude deserved a MASSIVE apology.#and despite it jude was always so loyal and good to her#love vivi#but fuck taryn#yeah forgiveness is good and all but i wish taryn had felt more remorse than she did#ugh!#anyways stan jude#the cruel prince#the cruel prince spoilers#the wicked king#the wicked king spoilers#tfota SPOILERS
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Sorry for bringing discourse onto your blog but your post just reminded me of when I saw an unhinged rant abt how “if they have a senior year all the parents of the rat grinders should try and violently murder the bad kids and when tbk ask for redemption instead it isn’t given to them.” And I get that like you wanted your thematic bullshit or whatever but you LITERALLY just advocated for a munch of adults to kill teenagers without mercy bc of tbk not thinking twice when they need to save the ENTIRE world. Idk maybe we’ve lost the plot a little.
OH BABY! We've lost the plot in Costco and need to find a responsible grown-up to help us find it again.
Anon, that's the funniest thing I've seen in a while because... didn't the Bad Kids just take down Oisin's Grandma not one episode ago? I'm sorry, what are the Copperkettles gonna do? Bobby Dawn (to quote Gorgug) is a regular freak. Henry can get someone to cast Plane Shift and go get Ruben back. Like, damn, I WISH the Ratgrinders' parents would show up so they can come get their kids, the fuck?
Also... The Bad Kids would never beg for anything not even redemption. Especially not from some adults who were about to kill them. They'd flip them off and insult them on a deep level only teenagers can before dying glorious deaths. And then they'd find each other across afterlives, figure out how to get back to the Material Plane and get revenge. Because what does death mean to the kids who died on the first day of school?
#If they wanna talk about angry parents#how about Lucy's parents who were left in the dark about the whereabouts of their daughter's body?#What about Yolanda's family????#ALSO ALISTAIR ASH IS ON THE MATERIAL PLANE RN AND HE DESERVES A HELL OF A LOT MORE GRACE THAN THE RATGRINDERS#anyways don't worry anon i love some drama and discourse every once in a while#and yes i know that only kristen and gorgug died that day but lemme have this#fantasy high#fandom wank#d20 wank#fantasy high junior year
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woke up with this stuck in my head... it's really difficult to overstate the sheer charm in Stan Freberg's vocals. at all times, but his role as Cecil especially! i feel i toss around words like "undiscovered" or "underrated" around too much but Time for Beany really is a gem i would love to see get more love
#as many Clampett fanboys as there are (i can't say i'm not one of them) i definitely feel a lot of his filmography seems to collect dust#ESPECIALLY his post WB work#which i can understand--not a lot of kinescopes survive for Time for Beany and Beany and Cecil as much as i adore it#definitely is a TV cartoon from the 60s and its stories arent the most intricate#but still. would love to see more of his stuff get appreciation rather than the same 4 years of cartoons he did (which deserve every bit of#praise they get)#b&c#clampett#(technically its Time for Beany but it's nice to have an all encompassing tag. despite me posting this on my laptop which for some reason#tumblr accepts as its own tag for posting on desktop and makes categorization hell)
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I cant believe fine im fine lost by 1.4% crying
-Please listen to both instrumentals if you can! While there are the popular songs, there's a lotta good ones out there that aren't talked about enough!-
Instrumental Links:
Nerd
The Bidding
[Reblog for more of a sample size of you'd like]
#the randomizer rlly put Jash's most listened to spotify song against the least favorited tmph song damn#also gonna say that y'all better listen & appreciate Nerd cos it deserves more love aight#not saying to vote for it but this song is so damn good & the refs are so fun#for everyone that puts that song low on your tier list. know i am biting your ankles#number 1 Nerd appreciator right here#tho with this. idk what to pick cos like Nerd has so much goin on in it & it makes me so happy to listen to#but like. its The Bidding you know? its so damn good#og is already catchy as hell & i love the way CJ did his cover of it#idk im torn. i like both a lot#chonny jash#chonnys charming chaos compendium#cj tmph#i wish you the best luck Nerd. you deserve much more#also Nerd has the funni skeleton riff guys#feel like that's important knowledge when voting#also tho bidding has the FUNKIEST bass & electric bits that rot my brain#also also has the most passive aggressive xylophone ever#also that marimba part tho????? especially on hearts “piece of shit” line? like hell yea bro fuck it up on that long ass complicated piano
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"Rodimus is a better Prime because it didn't hurt for him to bond with the Matrix while for Optimus it did" headcanon/theory my beloathed.
One day I'm literally gonna snap and make a whole post addressing why what's wrong bc I'm tired of the inaccuracy and tired of ppl not understanding the Point TM of IDW and its version of the Matrix/Primacy and even more tired of people putting down Optimus in favor of Rodimus by essentially arguing that being unworthy means you deserve to be punished/put in pain bc you just weren't good enough to hold the Symbol of Ultimate Authority
#it's wrong on so many levels both in terms of lore and as well as like what the general themes of idw1 are#it's just a validation contest using the matrix as some magical symbol to decide who's the most special#which is ironically something that was a plot point in exrid/OP. specifically how stupid of an idea that is ldskjflksd#ppl revealing that they havent read anything besides mtmte/ll as usual#like half the reason ppl think optimus is a bad prime and rodimus is a good prime is literally bc like#optimus was written by an author who was specifically trying to deconstruct him (sometimes to the point of absurdity)#and rodimus was written by an author who takes a more optimistic/idealistic approach. and is also better at writing#but also like am i seriously the only person who thinks that that argument is fucked up?????#like 'OP felt pain which means he's unworthy/not a real prime/not a true leader'#ok so you think that there's a hierarchy of moral goodness in which anyone who falls short of that Moral Ideal should suffer#as a sign of their unworthiness?? like does that not sound dystopian as hell to any of you?? why would you WANT the matrix to work like tha#even if the theory were true (which it isn't) why would you view the matrix as a good authoritative moral judge of character#if its idea of 'moral judgement' is to inflict pain on anyone who's supposedly not truly good/worthy#wasn't the entire point of the ending of LL (including rodimus being a good leader) that everyone is worth it?#like rodimus literally said 'you ARE damn well good enough' or something like that#so what? everyone else in the universe tries their best and that's enough but somehow when OP suffers it's like#a sign that he's not actually a good prime/leader?? we're really going with the punitive perspective purely for One Guy??#swear to god ppl are projecting their authority issues onto Optimus the way they shit on him for things they would excuse#if any other character did it#Optimus is uniquely deserving of pain/being marked as unworthy bc idk he was a cop once and that offends my delicate sensibilities#what's even funnier is how much harm was inflicted by rodimus as a captain sheerly due to his stupidity or ego but everyone forgives him#i guess bc as long as the matrix likes him that means he's valid no matter what he actually does as a person#WHICH IS SOMETHING IDW ITSELF ARGUED AGAINST BC A LOT OF THE PRIMES THAT WERE CHOSEN BY THE MATRIX#WERE DICKS AND THE FACT THEY COULD WIELD THE MATRIX DIDN'T MAKE THEM GOOD PEOPLE#like oh my god stop using the matrix as an arbiter of moral authority in idw1 it literally goes against the themes of the story#including the themes that are embodied in rodimus himself#idw op love
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so wait… furina is the name of the archon role that “furina” had to play
wouldn’t make more sense narrative wise to give her a name of her own?? like scara gets his own epic chapter about him ridding himself of his past and adopting a new name then proceed to ignore said name in favor of “hat guy” but the actress playing “furina” doesn’t get to be known for her own name?
like people of fontain (partly maybe) know the truth so why not let her free? let her enjoy the simple human life she so so longed for? even the other furina wouldn’t want this
#i think her story is a better use of the (give character name) mechanic that wasn’t really needed in scara’s arc imo#like yeah it’s cool and all but we literally saw him throw the actual physical manifestation of his past into the fucking void!!!#i personally think it was kind of wasted on him on top of me thinking that idea was entirely stupid to begin with and hyv keeps proving tha#no one actually refers to him as wanderer or by the name they choose online.. its just scara#thats both bad marketing and confusing burying the character away from new players#and like the amount of shit u have to go through as a new player just to name ur weird huge hat angry little dude is just..#but imagine how impactful such a mechanic would be for ‘furina’ who spent all her live acting a role she wasn’t#at the end of all that agony do u think she could endure hearing people call her by that name??#unlike scara she did that for the people every moment of those 500 years knowing that the fate of every person is mere a breakdown away#there was nothing in that for her or for a reward she thought deserved.. just suffering on her own#it just makes more sense for her to want a different name a different identity that has nothing to do with that role#and again i think that mechanic is stupid anyway but if it had to happen i’d loved it more with ‘furina’#or idk give her like a clueless friend she gets to meet that keeps calling her a different name for reasons and her liking the name or smth#maybe give her a different role she gets to play.. or have neuvillette give her a name#same with scara i think it would have been a lot better if he went by a name he choose when all his previous names were chosen for him#i dont see how the entirety of genshin writers and devs agreed to this mechanic being implemented honestly#like traveler is literally there waiting for a single soul to address them by their actual name (the one we choose) but every time it’s jus#traveler traveler.. even their most beloved companion calls them traveler#like that alone should've changed the writers minds bc such a name would 1. either not ever be used or replaced by a nickname#2. the hell devs had to go through to not allow certain phrases and names and 3. the hell both teams will suffer should they add a new char#tl;dr stupid dumb mechanic but they should still give furina a new name#genshin impact#furina#fontaine archon quest#scaramouche
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A reminder that Steve, canonically, is a bitchy little mean girl (and I love that for him!), and he will still be a bitchy little mean girl in my punk!Steve au but in a completely different way, and honestly I can’t wait to be able to write more of him like this and to also show peeps this
#☩│redd speaks#about my writing#steve harrington deserves being a little mean girl#he's more than just that obvs#but that's a part of him i love that i think a lot of fandom seems to ignore/forget#punk steve harrington#how could hell be any worse?#i really should get on this more#maybe it'll be easier since i started taking adderall again and can focus on shit easier
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grief will have you saying shit like goddamn and fuck maybe the abuse was worth it
#ive made this post before i just cant find it and it’s all im feeling rn#god i miss my parents so fucking much even though they were the cause of SO MANY of my problems that idk if i’ll ever heal from#but navigating life w this grief and without their support- however little it was- feels like hell#but the abuse felt like hell too.#ive said it before but i was JUST getting to a place where i felt i could stand up for myself and knock down thwir shit a few pegs. or at#least become more resistant to it#i saw a future with them in it for the first time in my LIFE#and it was bc i’d done SO MUCH FUCKING WORK. and now i feel like it was all so fucking useless#it’d be easier if i was still in the phase of anger i was at like 19#but i’d processed that quite a bit and was trying to move on#FUCK. i had made SO much goddamn progress right before my mom got sick#then everything went down the toilet cus i cannot fucking have anything#it’s so unfair. i wish i could at least redo the last 3 years of my life#i would’ve done things so much different but i was so traumatized and still so angry and bitter and trying to preserve myself#ive come to the realization tjat the person i am today did not exist back then and therefore i shouldnt beat myself up bc it literally wasnt#available to me. i couldnt have done anythimg different bc i was in such a state of survival#and truthfully ive grown a lot since then even if im still in the trenches#the timeline of my entire life has been so fucking unfair#and i dont know how to reconcile any of it i dont know how to cope with my worst fears coming true#and i mean worst fears. even the way they passed. spot on to my worst fears#i despised what they did to me but i still didnt see life without them until i was at least 30#it was all so sudden and quick and shocking#yeah they were horrible parents but i was a horrible kid too. maybe i straight up just deserved that shit#and i’d go back to that and seeing a future with them in an instant#over this bullshit#it’s so hard. and then losing all my pets too at the SAME TIME. all my babies#everything that i loved ripped away from me in the span of MONTHS#it’s all too much. l oh fucking l. no wonder im 3 shots deep at fucking 3 pm#it just hurts so bad. so fucking bad.
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the toxic masculine urge to be perfect and strong with no weaknesses
#I’m not even amab but I feel like toxic masculinity has affected me more than toxic femininity#I’m cool with other people crying but the instant I start I’m like “heerghhh no must keep the noxious brain chemicals in my eyes”#I never cared about my physical appearance being “feminine” but I have always hated showing vulnerability#Like I’ve had issues with body image but usually it’s more along the lines of “I have no muscle and I’m weak” than anything#Or when I was nine in ballet class I was self-conscious about not having broad shoulders when I looked in the mirror#and about having such a huge head in proportion to my body#Like obviously I’ve balanced out now that I’m fully grown and have lots of positive male (and female!) role models I look up to#But honestly it’s really reassuring to see guys in older media who are not very strong-looking or intimidating physically#bawling their eyes out for a role#And I’m like “damn they deserve love” and then I’m like “damn I deserve love too”#scrawny looking untoned guys rise up#Yeah my issues with body image started in a Dunham’s Sports when I saw that punching bag dummy with a fucking ten pack#staring down at me when I was six years old and messing with their elliptical machines#I was like “I want to look like that” and stayed on the elliptical for an hour straight#And then Man of Steel came out a few years later and everyone was talking about the guy’s physical transformation#and I remember the phrase “sculpted abs” being used and that fucked me up for awhile#Now I look back at that movie and go “holy hell that poor man is blatantly dehydrated. Fuck the directors”
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"Welcome to the world of girl love! It's slippery when wet!"
Happy birthday (11/27) to the party rocker!
#sdr2#my art#danganronpa 2 goodbye despair#ibuki mioda#I wanna make more art for ibuki but I must sleep#ibuki's one of those characters where you could say any queer headcanon and I'd believe it#bi? lesbian? ace? I can see it!#xe/xer/he/him pronouns? hell yeah!#ibuki just uses ibuki's name as pronouns? that one's canon baby!#aside from being queer af and a proud weirdo she's such a delight finding nice things to say people and good spots in bad situations#she tried to bring hajime's memories back and even when that didn't work she brought him some clarity by letting him know#he is who he is right now. regardless of his talent or memories#she deserved better from the canon but from what I've seen the sdr2 fanbase agrees and gives her a lot of love! go ibuki!
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Not to make you miraculous post on your pony blog but I feel like Chloe deserved to at least be redeemed somewhat. Why give Zoe all the development?
Chloe should have been redeemed and she & Zoe should have shared the bee miraculous. Imagine the plotlines
#ive posted a lot about how chloe was so so so disappointing but i truly just cannot understate it enough#literally NEVER seen a show fumble that bad#like how do you set up a legitimately good and well paced story arc just to throw it away#some people told me that it was because the creator hated chloe and didnt want her to be redeemed. which like. ok fine#but then why did they go so far out of their way to give her a redemption arc. why did they do that. they just didnt have to do that#but they did it and its so weird!!!#chloe deserved better#ironically them screwing up her storyline so bad made me care about her ten times more than i did before#i havent seen season 5 so again. no spoilers or whatever for that#but just what ive seen of zoe so far im like. man she is boring as hell. they really really really needed Chloe to be the edge of the group#she is truly the missing component#miraculous ladybug#not art#i love putting the meat of the post into the tags. good format#i still have so many miraculous thoughts lol
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Would really kill for a heart to heart scene between Stede and Oluwande when they’re all debating whether or not they should return to the Revenge. Because, I could honestly see it going one of two ways.
One, Stede is adamant about returning regardless, though his drive gets a bit shaken when he hears how bad things have gotten. He kind of separates from the crew for a tad to ponder and shed some tears, and that’s when Olu can swoop in for further insight. He can sort of ask Stede why he’s so set on returning even after the marooning and danger, and that’s when Stede can drop something like,
“He might hate me now. He might not ever have truly liked me at all. But I’m going back for him. Because I’ve realized two things. My family is here at sea, and I...I love him. I don’t intend on leaving either ever again. So we’re getting all of our damn family back.”
OR
Stede gets so heartbroken/hurt by the news of the sudden downfall that he also shuts down much like Edward did. It throws him further into a sea of guilt and pain, and he feels unmotivated to go back. He blames himself for his crew’s pain, and for Edward’s shift. So he sort of clams up and doesn’t know what to do, as he doesn’t want to hurt everyone even more.
But following the same trend of understanding, Oluwande could visit him (and sort of parallel Lucius visiting Ed as well). They could talk things through, and Stede could cry about being a failure to his crew, but also to his love. And the mentioning of love is what connects them together that much more, as they both have a reason to head back towards the Revenge. So Olu could sympathize that much more and be like,
“The people we love are aboard that ship. So let’s go get them back.”
#OFMD#Stede Bonnet#Oluwande Boodhari#Gentlebeard#Blackbonnet#Revenge Rambles#I JUST HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS...#Like them sharing that they both love someone aboard the Revenge and bonding over that#And kind of shaking hands on it in some kind of way like yes#Yes let's go get our loves#It might be a very bad idea but we NEED to do it#Like everyone else would be like uhh lmao we JUST got kicked off#They JUST left us here#Why the hell would we go back#But Olu would probably get it the most#Pete MAYBE if he was really wanting to find Lucius#But Olu definitely has the most emotional maturity#I also just think that Stede and his crew deserve to bond more#And knowing each other's more vulnerable emotions would definitely be a good starting point#Would make Stede want to fight for his sea family that much more
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You seemed to like the first ones so uhhhh here is more because i really enjoy drawing this guy. digital this time!
AUVFHJNDMKVFDK,LM?????/ MY BOY. MY BOY!
#ask a ghost#asker: saltyr3mix#au: where the dust settles#tagging this as nyx#<- bookkeeping tag#anyways oh my GOD??#lovely watcher boy <3 he has seen hell and back and he's literally just. a random 17 year old.#canon age for you with that one :3#(this is why pandora refers to him as a kid a couple of times.)#also eensy little canon detail: nyx has brown eyes :3#a couple of appearance notes since im thinking about it: nyx's hair was bleached at the time he was caught because of a bet he made w viole#he's one of the younger people working for starr after getting recommended to go there by a few people#i have no idea how far you are in the story PVNKDL there's a point where this all gets shown but i could happily talk more#he deserves more screen time but pandora hates him vehemently so he doesnt get a lot of it </3#<- this is why i have plans for alternate povs and other stuff. since pandora has such a limited scope.#nyx is the youngest person in the group (before that title was held by accius but only barely)#okay thats enough random info pfnjhfdkmld#also i swear to god im gonna cry one of these days youkeep DRAWING THEM i never expected anybody to do that </3#(happy tears i swear)
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