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leidensygdom · 24 days

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Ok, I'm gonna start a post idea I had been pondering. If you're either mentally or physically disabled and you have opinions about representation, this is the thread for you!

So, I've been seeing more people trying to tackle the topic of autism in their stories, but I've felt some of it tries to woobify a bit what is to live with autism, or just focus on the more socially acceptable quirks of it. And as someone with autism/ADHD (was suspected of it for most of my life, got it finally diagnosed by my therapist (who specializes in autism and ADHD) last year), sometimes I'd like for people to acknowledge the more unsavoury parts of it, the weird quirks, etc.

So, this post is going to be about that- If you wanna help people understand how your disability/neurodivergency affects your life, feel free to add to it! Just mention what do you have (no need for a full list, just what you consider relevant to the post) and some experiences, quirks, anecdotes or such that you think that are not often seen in stories or media, and that you consider an important part of it. They don't need to be huge things! I encourage people to share just whatever they feel comfortable. My list is gonna be a mix of stuff, but yours can be very different. Let me start!

Clothes and how they feel was surprisingly one of the most disruptive parts of my autism. As a kid, if I was forced to wear something that caused me some bad texture/sensitivity issues, it would significantly affect my behaviour and performance. It took me many years to be allowed to use mostly sportswear. (And it turns out being a "girl" (not anymore) wearing only sportswear tends to cause a whole lot of bullying)

This happens even nowadays. I've found out that non-heeled boots are more comfortable to me than sport shoes, because feeling something against the back of my foot makes me feel overwhelmed. I tend to wear yoga pants under actual pants, because they keep the actual pants' seams from causing sensory issues. There's almost a sort of ritual on how do I need to combine clothes to be able to function "normally", mostly consisting on reducing how much they annoy me.

On that topic, hygiene is actually a huge thing too. As a kid, I wasn't allowed to shower daily. Days I didn't shower, no matter how much I tried to keep my hygiene in other days, were "bad days" to me. I would literally plan hanging out with friends or eating out around the days I was allowed to shower. I could physically feel the difference between the day I showered and the day I didn't (even if I washed my face, armpits, used the bidet, etc).

This is true even nowadays. I can thankfully now shower daily, which isn't recommended by a lot of experts (specially because it can damage your hair and skin), but it's more worth to me than having days where I feel like I shouldn't be seen in public.

Being overwhelmed sucks! Meltdowns are mostly associated with kids, mostly because adults either learn to mask them, or do everything they can to AVOID having that meltdown. I've mostly figured out routines and such. There's this one place we go eat out every other Tuesday- And in the hours we go in, there's a sort of silent corner that is always free. This week's schedule was a mess, so we went yesterday to that same place, and the silent corner was filled with a very loud group. I got extremely overwhelmed. But enough masking drilled to me means I just sat there unable to talk for maybe 30 minutes.

Autistic adults still do have autism and experience often the full spread of traits, they've just found ways to mask, or avoid being in situations where they do need to do that. I've adapted my life and routine to that. But sometimes I land on situations out of my comfort zone that will make me feel just like when I was a kid. I want to freelance online because I'm fully aware I can't perform properly in a public facing job.

Group projects sucked so much. I know they suck for most people, but most times it was easier for me to do the entirety of the project by myself and add the others' names to it than dealing with chasing people for their parts. My college had a 6-months-long massive group project in the last year, with a 7 people group, which obviously I couldn't do alone. The whole experience was so harmful in so many ways I've had several full therapy sessions talking about it :'')

One of the reasons it's because mental flexibility is HARD with autism. If i set a schedule, I expect that schedule to be followed. If people agree to do a part, I expect that part to be delivered (unless there's a proper reason) on due time. People hate this a lot usually! It will tear group projects apart!

Stimming can be harmless, or it can be very annoying to some. I tend to shake legs and play with something in my hands. I could easy this off drawing in classes- My high school found out that I was paying more attention when I was allowed to draw in classes, and my academic performance was pretty much perfect, so they gave me permission to do that.

However, I had a teacher in middle school that did forbid me from drawing. I stimmed during a class with pens- She got so mad she sent me home with a note to my parents they had to sign. Fun!

Not exactly an anecdote, but I am ace. I hate the discourse about "making an autistic person be aro or ace is infantilizing autism". Aro/ace people can have autism. That's just how it is. I've been infantilized a lot for being ace- Which only got worse because I am autistic, and people perceived some of my special interests as child-ish. The combo didn't make things easy.

On that topic, people will often be very patronizing of your opinions or takes for being autistic. I've had people debate my sexuality (or lack of thereof), my gender identity and presentation, my hobbies, my preferences for everything, down to "what do you want to eat tonight?". This isn't too different to shitty takes about how "autistic people are more prone to being affected by the trans activistsTM", because people assume autistic people can't choose on their own. Trust me: We can.

Anyhow, I'd love if this post could be a good compilation of these sort of anecdotes! I think it could help people who wanna learn more about what is it to live with specific disabilities (and how to better portray them in media)

#nd #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #disability #disabled #autism #adhd #neurodivergencies #long post

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joels-shitty-puns · 6 months

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The Key To Your Heart - Track 9

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader

Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.

Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Panic/Anxiety attack. Alluding to sexual scenarios. Kissing. Fat shaming, name calling. Mentions of food, weight loss, weight gain, dieting, weighing, potential eating disorder, food guilt. Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f) maybe more smut later idk. Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).

Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!

Word Count: 2.7K

Series List: Here!

Miss Chapter 8? Here!

Hi everyone!! I really don't feel great about this chapter, I'm sorry if it sucks. I kinda just want to get it out there though because I don't see my brain thinking up anything better. A lot of writer's block surrounding this scene. Anywho, hopefully next chapter will be better, but I still hope you like it. Although we allude to a little bit of sexual situations now that they are together, I likely will avoid explicit smut being that Pedro is a real human and I am a guilty, guilty human for writing any smut at all. I don't want to offend Pedro (not that he'd ever see it anyway, I am delusional), but I also know people find real person fiction uncomfy as a whole. That being said, I think this story may be coming to a close pretty soon. I plan to have maybe one more full storyline chapter, and at least one little side bonus chapter :) Please let me know what you think in the comments, or DM me if you wanna chat! I love hearing all your thoughts. Thank you for reading and hanging in here with me.

Before the screen even had a chance to load, you canceled the request. Nervously looking at Pedro, he held your hand under the table. “What is it?” he asked gently.

“I just realized,” you replied. “What if they ask about us? About those pictures? What should I say?”

Pedro answered with a gentle stroke of his thumb on your cheek. “Whatever you feel comfortable with. I'm sure I'll be fine with whatever you say, baby. I know your privacy is important to you, and I trust you. I'm all in with you.”

“Okay.” You took a deep breath and once again began the stream.

“Live in 3…”

“2…”

“1…”

The fans began to file in, and before you knew it, you had thousands of viewers. Opting to start with your screen covered, you wanted to give an intro first before the big reveal.

It wasn't long before the comments flowed across the screen.

You took a deep breath, squeezing Pedro’s hand, and jumping in. “Hi everyone! It's me… a lot has been happening lately and I decided it might be time to show a little more of myself.”

-“First!”

-“Did she mean to start a live video ??"

-"Hiii! I'm a big fan"

-“Is she there??”

-“Do you guys see anything?”

“So… Here's me.” You turned on your camera, waving at the screen, your stomach twisting in deeper knots.

-“No fucking way.”

-“!?!!!!!”

-“SCREAMING”

“Hi… Some of you might know me, some might be surprised. But this is me. This is the girl behind the music.”

The comments flooded in, entirely too fast for you to read.

“I want to thank all of you for being fans and listening to my songs. It really means a lot and I hope you liked the album. Your support blows me away, especially with what little information about myself I've given.”

More comments.

“Well, I uh… guess I should read some of these comments and answer some questions. I'm sure there’s a lot you all are wondering about,” you stated nervously, starting to read.

-“Why did you hide your identity?”

“Why did I hide my identity… I hid my identity mostly based on poor self image. I never expected my music to gain popularity, never expected celebrities to know it. Never expected any of it, and it certainly brought its share of criticism. I was scared to be in the spotlight and I didn't feel like I looked good enough to be someone famous. You know? I'm not skinny, I have flaws, and that doesn't always sit well with the Internet. I guess I was mainly scared of how I would be perceived. I'm just a normal girl who had her whole life flipped upside down when I wrote my feelings down,” you laughed anxiously.

Choosing to ignore the storm brewing in the comments below, you addressed the earlier comment. “Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad I can make you feel more accepted by seeing more plus-sized people in the entertainment business. Everyone should feel seen and have a place at the table, no matter what you look like, or who you are.”

-“I think it's nice to have more celebrities that look kinda like me.”

-“You're so humble!!”

-“You should've stayed hidden lmao”

-“Shut up, asshole. Why are you here if you're going to be rude?”

-“I'm sure you're a real supermodel behind that keyboard bravery.. smh”

You weren't expecting someone to actually feel like you were representing them and making them feel seen. You didn't think you had enough of an impact for that. You certainly weren't treated that way when you weren't famous. Nobody really even noticed you before.

You could feel Pedro’s eyes on your face, his thumb swirling circles and hearts over the space of skin on the top of your hand, below your thumb. The place where his bullseye resides on his own. Does he trace that tattoo when he's nervous, the same way he is with me? Perhaps his tracing of your hand is calming himself as much as it is for you.

Desperately, you wanted to look over at him and be comforted by his deep brown eyes, but doing so would cause people to wonder who you made eye contact with and smiled at. So instead, you gave a gentle squeeze and a smile towards the screen, hoping he would understand.

-“Hi, I'm a big fan of yours. Can I ask… is what you said on your album true? You've never been kissed before? I haven't either and I was starting to feel like I'm just a freak.”

“Oh, honey, you aren't a freak. Everyone has things happen at different times in their life. But yes, everything I wrote in my album at the time I wrote it was true. And don't worry, I have felt the same way. Seeing others be kissed, falling in love… having the things I wasn't, it really hurts. But it'll be okay.. nothing is wrong with you. You're deserving of love.”

You hoped they wouldn't pick up on your usage of past-tense wording. Pedro, still holding your hand, rubbed his other hand over your arm gently.

-“Wait… at the time you wrote it? What about now?”

The comments were going wild.

Welp…

Your hands shook, and you used your opposite hand to place on top of Pedro’s that gripped yours. He squeezed gently, feeling the nervous tremors pass through your body, continuing to rub gentle strokes over your arm with his opposite hand.

“Uhm…” your cheeks heated and your stomach sank.

“I've changed a lot since this album was first written. Experienced new things. But I'm still the same person.”

Shit.

-“Who did you kiss?! Is it the guy in your song?”

-“Will you tell us who the song is about?”

-“Wait a second… you're that girl aren't you!?!!!! The one in the pictures with Pedro Pascal!!!!”

-“OMG IT IS”

-“!!!!!!!”

-“IS HE THE GUY!?!”

-“ARE YOU DATING!?!”

The nervous tremors continued, now threatening to cause your teeth to chatter. A full panic attack was brewing. Pedro squeezed your hand again, touching your knee and trying to do his best to ground you without speaking up on your live video. Skipper could feel the waves of anxiousness pooling off of you as well and crawled forward to settle his body across your feet. You took a few calming breaths, but when you went to speak, your voice still betrayed you.

“I..” your voice cracked, shakiness evident as you could feel tears starting to edge their way towards your vision.

I can't do this. I can't do this. I need to shut it off.

You shut your eyes, taking deep breaths, trying to ease your nausea and stress.

Keeping your eyes closed, you spoke. “Yes.”

You took another deep breath. “Yes it was me, yes the song was about him. Yes.”

You opened your eyes to read the comments, tears pooling down your cheeks as you couldn't hold back your emotion anymore.

This is so embarrassing. The first time I show my face I'm crying and having an anxiety attack in front of the whole world.

You swallowed, choking back the full sobs that your body wanted to let loose. Wiping your face with the back of your hand, you began to read the comments, expecting laughter, criticism, and bullying. Instead, you were met with kindness.

Coming back to your senses, you gave a shaky smile. “Thank you guys. I'm sorry for my emotions.” You sniffled. Pedro was still rubbing your hands and arms, comforting you, having never stopped. His eyes still bore into the side of your head, and you knew he was struggling to not speak up or grab you fully.

-“Oh my God, are you okay?”

-“I didn't mean to make you cry I'm so sorry”

-“You and Pedro make a cute couple”

-“Oh no, please don't cry”

-“Idk if you guys are dating but you seem cute”

-“I'm so glad you guys are spending time together when he's the guy in your song”

-“It'll be okay, please don't be upset”

-“You're amazing, we love you”

“Yes, Pedro and I have been spending a lot of time talking after he publicly commented on my song a few months ago. The party was the first time we met in person and we're still figuring things out,” you let go of your worries and broke eye contact with the camera, looking to your side to meet Pedro’s gaze. “But… we're happy.” You smiled at him. He smiled back gently, squeezing your hand, worry and sadness plaguing his face over your well-being. Breaking eye contact, you looked back at the screen.

You giggled before answering “well, I think that's all we have time for today. Thank you all for joining me!” You silently clicked off the stream, closing the browser, turning off the computer, and turning to Pedro. He grabbed your other hand in his, now holding both. “Are you okay?” He asked, concern etched in his face.

-“AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!”

-“IS HE THERE WITH YOU!?!”

-“whaaaaat”

-“SCREAMING”

-“Shut. Up. This is insane.”

-“YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE I CAN'T TAKE IT”

“I think so,” you nodded.

“Seeing you panic and not being able to do anything without potentially making it worse… It killed me. I'm so sorry. I just wanted to pull you into my arms and end that video myself. I hated seeing you so upset.” He stared down at your intertwined hands, rubbing his thumb over them again.

“I appreciate you being here for me,” you let go of his hand to stroke his cheek. “I couldn't have done that without you.” You met his eyes, leaning forward to rest against his forehead. He let out a shaky breath. “I love you. I'm so proud of you.”

“I love you too,” you replied with a smile. “Let's move to the couch, huh?” You asked, pulling him up from the chair. He stood, just as your phone rang, a call from Rose. You quickly answered.

“I saw the live stream. You did wonderful! Don't worry about any of the negative comments you saw or any stories that come out of this. I'll handle it all.”

“Thanks, Rose.”

“Anytime. Take care.” She hung up.

You updated Pedro as the two of you walked towards the couch. “Do you want breakfast?” He asked.

“Maybe in a minute. Can I just hold onto you for a few minutes?”

“I would love nothing more.”

He sat on the couch, you sitting next to him, before he gave you a look. “What?” you laughed. He patted his leg.

“Let me hold you.”

“I'm too heavy for that Pedro, don't be ridiculous,” you shook your head.

“You're the one being ridiculous.” He reached over, pulling you into his lap. “I'm too heavy! You're going to hurt yourself,” you whined.

“You're not too heavy. You're the perfect size, baby. Come here,” he pulled you forward, your body sliding down his thighs as he wrapped his arms around you. You straddled his lap, knees on either side of his hips while he rubbed your back gently. You placed your arms around him, nuzzling into his neck and closing your eyes. You both sighed, and he grabbed a blanket next to him to pull over your bodies. “I could stay like this for hours, wrapped in your arms” you sighed comfortably.

“Why don't you?” He turned his head to kiss your lips. You lifted your face up, taking your head off his shoulder to kiss him deeper. The kisses were lazy and comfortable, holding each other and enjoying the warmth of being in each other's arms.

Finally the two of you broke the kiss, settling back on his shoulder, him tilting his head to lean against yours. His hands sprawled over your back, pulling you forward a bit to adjust in his lap. You let out a soft whimper at the contact, fully aware of the location your bodies connected at the moment. “Feel how much you mean to me?” He asked, his breath ghosting your ear as he pulled your hips forward again. You whined. “Yes..” you answered breathlessly. The temptation to keep doing that was overwhelming. But he once again wrapped his arms around you, rubbing your back as the two of you comfortably dozed off, finally relaxed after so much stress of the morning.

Hours later, you stirred, feeling Pedro still underneath you. At the feel of you moving, he stretched a bit before settling with his arms around you again. “Morning, baby” he hummed. “Guess we fell asleep,” you smiled.

“Some of the best sleep I've had in a while, here with you.”

“Same here.” You blinked your eyes open, kissing him on the lips with a peck. “What time is it?”

He turned his head to look at the clock on your TV. “5 o’clock” he laughed. “Guess we both needed some rest.”

“Mmmm, I guess so,” you hummed, settling into him more.

“Good thing I brought nonperishables. Are you hungry?”

You pondered. “Yeah, I am,” you looked into his deep brown eyes. “Breakfast for dinner?” You smiled at him.

“Sounds perfect.” He pecked your lips before you slid off his lap, the two of you standing to stretch. It wasn't long that you two stood apart before you leapt forward again to give him a hug. He laughed, hugging you back. “I'll never get tired of being in your arms,” you smiled into his chest, breathing in his scent.

“I'll never get tired of holding you in mine,” he pulled his face back to look at you.

“Now let's eat! I'm starved,” you scampered towards the kitchen, him giving a gentle pat to your butt before hugging you from behind as you grabbed the breakfast foods. You giggled, setting food on plates as he kissed your neck, still wrapped around you from behind. “I'm starving too,” he replied back to your earlier statement with a growl, biting your ear.

“Pedro!” You giggled, smacking his arm gently. He chuckled, pulling away and grabbing his plate as you both headed to the table.

The two of you ate, filling the space with light conversation, both of you occasionally sneaking Skipper some bites under the table. He could get used to having two humans spoiling him.

The chatter came to a natural pause, eating in silence and smiling at each other across the table. Pedro stopped eating, wiping his hands and continuing to stare at you. You laughed, asking him what was up. Suddenly, he looked nervous.

“I, uh…” he rubbed his neck. “I was going to wait until after we had at least a first date to say this, but…” he trailed off, and your mind spiraled. Is he breaking up with me? Is he not interested anymore? What's wrong?

“I was wondering if… you'd be my girlfriend? Exclusively?” His cheeks flushed.

You stammered, dropping your fork on the plate. “You… you want… me to be your girlfriend?” You smiled.

He nodded. “If… you'll have me.”

“You want to be my boyfriend?” He nodded again, looking down at the table.

“Yes. Yes, are you kidding? Please! I'd love nothing more.” You grinned, jumping out of your chair to move to him.

He stood, pulling you into a hug. “Really?” He smiled at you.

“Really,” you nodded. “Now kiss me,” you held his face.

“Gladly,” he pulled you closer, kissing you deeply, his tongue asking for entrance to your mouth. You squealed, surprised, but letting him in. You'd never experienced this sensation before. But it was… incredible.

He licked your lips, the two of you exploring the inside of each other's mouths, tongues dancing together. The kiss was heated and deeper than ever before, both of you finally pulling away for air, him coming back in to peck your lips a few times, sucking your lip between his own. You sighed shakily. “Wow.”

“I love kissing you,” he smiled against your lips.

“I love kissing you. You're a good kisser,” you smiled back.

“So are you,” he smirked. “My beautiful girlfriend.” He gave a kiss. “How about that date tomorrow?” He pulled away to look at you, letting his hand rub across your lower back, just above your butt.

“I'd love to,” you stroked his face. “My handsome boyfriend.” You wrapped your arms around him again, blissfully.

“Tomorrow,” you two sighed in unison.

@pedrotonin @starcrossed02 @lightupsketchersperson @cartoon-garbage04 @tyferbebe @maryfanson @gwendibley84 @faithfullyyours2000 @brilliantopposite187 @hc-geralt-23 @jenniferpendragon @winchestergypsy90 @red-red-rogue @theendwhereibegin @lottieellz101 @oliversaurus @kyga01 @milly-louise @titabel @taz-97 @stefanibear003 @marantha @fandomoniumflurry @ilovemybrown-eyedbabygirl @leiadjarin @hmneighbors

Thank you for reading!!! Let me know what you think ❤️

Taglist: (Want in? Let me know!)

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfic #a! wrote a fic #pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal x afab!reader #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x plus sized! reader #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x musician!reader #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal rpf #rpf #key to your heart

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caffstrink · 1 year

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do you have any tips on how to live off as artist professionally?

First of all art isn't always a viable option depending where you live. The only reason ive been able to live off art is because the american dollar is worth 5x more than the brazilian real so even if i didn't get many comms i could still get by with the few i had. and if that wasn't the case I'd pretty much be eating breadcrumbs off the floor like a pigeon.

1. Whore yourself out and draw fanart of every popular or trending thing to gather attention to youe art

2. Learn your platforms: learn how each websites algorithm works, learn what are the best hours to post, etc

3. I cannot stress enough how important it is to find your niche

4. Everyone is fake no one wants to be your friend, other popular artists will start following you the moment your following becomes good enough. They'll start to interact with you too and want to become mutuals in order to share followings/traction. If you can play into that you can get them to share your stuff as well, but honestly don't fall for it bc most of them shittalk other artists on their privs or personal servers and the stress isnt worth it

5. Draw nsfw if possible/if you're comfortable with. People who commission porn pay well and they often have very few options when commissioning stuff bc most artists don't accept porn commissions.

6. Accept being an artist is a hard job that doesn't pay really well. If you're freelancing on comms life's always going to be a tightrope, so i suggest trying to do professional work once in a while so you can at least have the security of a salary. Draw backgrounds, gestures, scenes, studies, and the likes, bc those are what companies will want in your portfolio

7. Depending where you live it's extremely hard to live off as an artist, and being an artist is often means a very difficult struggle with finances. It's a job that requires passion, and more often than not turning art in a job causes creative burnout and complete loss of spark for it. Ask yourself: why do you want to be a professional artist? Isn't it better to keep it as a hobby? Maybe a side gig if you need money? You can still pursue art even if you don't do it to earn money, and it doesn't make you any less of an artist. It's a difficult job, and you need to understand its not going to be viable at all times and sometimes you'll have to throw in the towel and do something else to survive and there's 0 shame in that.

8. Be professional and courteous with your clients. Don't be a doormat, but don't go around ghosting people or being passive aggressive or taking them for granted and never deliver any product. Doing art for money is a JOB. Treat it like such. Inform your clients about delays, or any issues that may come up.

9. Take care of yourself and by that i mean eat decent food, exercise your arms, get 8 hours of sleep and get some sun (or take vitamin D periodically if youre a basement dweller). This isn't some self care uwu shit, it's actual science that your body is a machine and not providing what it needs to function leads to issues, and some of those issues include affecting your mental health, and mental health issues include and are not limited to: anxiety, depression, burnout, loneliness, feeling like your art sucks, feeling unmotivated, feeling like you're a failure, etc. Same with physical: for the love of GOD you DON'T want wrist issues. You dont want carpal or ulnar nerve entrapment. Don't draw 24/7. Don't push yourself either. If youre feeling shitty its time to STOP. Just picture a shitty graphics card trying to run minecraft with 5 shaders and 10 mods at once on fullscreen with 60 fps. Thats you. Youre the graphics card

10. Don't be a bitch, don't get involved with drama. Can't be an internet artist if you get cancelled so don't try to start shit at any point in time. Don't be a shit person.

And from the top of my head thats it, hope you like eating plain bread 🍞

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morpheus-the-sandman · 7 months

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The blog is open now!! :D

Info I might. Change some stuff here and there just so you know!

TW staring in the drawings at the bottom ⏬

Hello im lazysimpluna or you can call me Luna or Finley

My carrd

Other

More about me down⬇️ in this blog pls read everything thanks!

im not good at writing and my grammar isn't that great so forgive me for typos :'D I also didn't used Tumblr as much so I'm still learning things

Important none of the stories are Canon to clowns og project!!

the main aus that are mentioned here are the

Sandman au/ Morpheus or morph that's how most call him he's a bat demon he's there to give the children good dreams and comfort them protect them he lives in his smol dimension in the middle his tree where he lives in with Noah, his brother fushigi, ivy, and hoshiko / personality : he's sweet, caring, comforting his presence his inviting like a soft bed like you're getting tired and all yk but he can also be chaotic he loves to be crazy with his friends and do random funny stuff he's also very adventurous he loves to take a look around at places he wanders around alot of aus when he has time to he's interested in other aus that aren't dangerous or anything he loves to hang out and all so you might find him sitting near where you living at watching the stars!

Monsterbed au / crow is there to protect the children he will be under the bed or in the closet well most likely under the bed he doesn't like the closet very much / he can only speak in chirps outside his au when he's back in his he will speak normally / his au is a dreamcore au / personality : is still in work I didn't quite explored his personality yet but I would say for now that he's sweet and protective of his loved ones

SH wally ( I call him that now idk I feel like it's better then father wally) actually idk if I keep that name if you might have better names let me know I suck at them XD / anyway he's there to take in children in need let's say morph finds a child that has abuse going one or something else like it lost its parents ect morph will ask that child if it wants to come with him he doesn't force them but he if a child declines he will still look to take action and get them to a better place then in the human realm if a child says yes morph will take them to sh wallys realm and leave them there for sh wally to take care of them once they grew up they can decide if they want to leave back to the human realm or stay with wally/personality : not developed yet but he's very calm and patient that's all I can say!

Ugly duckling wally aka Noah he's morphs adoptive son/ personality : sweet, playfully, joyfully,

Hoshiko/wish wally he's also morphs adoptive son / he travels trough different aus grading wishes depending if a person deserves the wish he can see it in thair hearts if a person deserves it or not / he floats mostly in the air but obv he can also swim in water /personality : still in development but I would say he's quiet energetic, has lots of energy, he does like to mess around with someone, he's playfully and teasing,

Fushigi and ivy not alot to say here fushigi is there to defeat bad dreams ect like morph is he's morphs real brother / ivy is his best friend even tho ivy doesn't want to admit to that , fushigi found ivy while defeating bad dreams ivy was different from the other nightmares he seemed alone and seemed like he actually didn't liked to be feared and all so fushigi took him in / fushigi likes to Crochet stuff / personality of fushigi : still in development but he's sweet calm patient, ivy's personality : also still in development all I know is he's grumpy, teasing, likes to mess with people,

Comfort star / she's there traveling around aus to comfort everyone when they need it at any time when they try to sleep or whatever it might be / she has problems with feeling things she can't feel things so she might sound or act numb at times but she trys her best her sister is always there to help her with it her problem with not feeling alot is also why she often comes back with cuts ect bc she feels numb both emotionally and physically she does not feel pain so she would often be rather at morph or wherever to get stitched back up / personality : still in development but she's playfull, sweet

Letters from felix/Yeah I added another AU I have for a while idk why I didn't added him when I first did this blog but he travels trough dimensions too so I trough why not he's silly and is adventurin trough dimension and he writes letters to his human he's inspired my letters from Felix the series the bunny Basacally my childhood :3] personality : chaotic, he loves to mess around, playfully, adventures

Shooting star

She's like a help for traveling inspired by the cat bus from totoro uwu she acts pretty much like a cat and can't talk she be meowing and purring but she understand you!

And also morph father the uhh good home in this story I didn't drew him yet but he's basacally just like og home but a smol house that follows morph around

!! Boundaries!!

Yes you can

✅ make fanart absolutely tag me please!!!

✅ Shipping? Yes ofc but please only ocs sonas or yns.

✅ Im also okay with interactions trough I can't promise I will do all of them I mostly do what I feel like and if I don't feel like it I don't do it it also might take a bit

Donts❌

Please no applecest no wallycest no proships!!!❌

No nsfw with these aus mentioned here!!!❌

Don't do Ai bots of my aus I'm doing alredy bots but it takes a bit I get really exausted after a bit of working on bots like I get sleepy and all it takes a bit I know I'm working on them for quite a while now but still have patients I'm also not an expert when it comes to bots I'm still learning!! ❌❌❌

Don't message me privately if I don't know you please if I know you for a bit from my comment section you can ask me if you can message me and I might say yes , please have patients with me I don't feel comfortable calling you my friend so soon so I just call you a mutual if I know you for a longer while I might call you a friend! I had a really bad experience with an ex friend of mine I knew since my childhood and that left marks , I might get easily overwhelmed or exausted so I might dip or don't talk at all please don't feel like I'm ignoring you or anything I'm not I'm simply not feeling like talking or it is to much at that day for me!❌❌❌

🌟Things about me that are important 🌟

my pronounce are she/her, he him, im genderfluid and aroace, bisexual, ❤️

I have auditory processing disorder or called

(APD )

Wich makes me slower I might forget alot of things or I also have hearing problems sometimes like when somone calls me it doesn't end up in my brain I'm also very sensitive so sounds loud notices specifically

I also take a while to understand things so be patient with me

(HSP ) I am a highly sensitive person

I also have social anxiety

I'm really sensitive like I would say emotionally there are often times where I do take things too serious or something please tell me talk to me about those things if I understand stuff the wrong way

I'm 22 years old and German

I only speak English and German I can't speak other languages

I have 29 aus by now I might add more depending on what ideas I get ( idk for sure I know I have alredy alot and I didn't even developed alot of them enough I do want to put an line to it but I can't I love creating I love making it makes me happy so just be aware XD when I decide to do a blog for my other aus that I might not post alot about those depending on how I'm feeling ( maybe I post more when I get asks idk)

Fandom I'm in atm

Welcome home

And poppy playtime

I hope you have a wonderful time here!! :3

🌟Refs of my sillys🌟

#art #artists on tumblr #artwork #digital art #welcome home #welcome home au #welcome home artist #welcome home arg #morphthesandman #askmorph #wh multiverse

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rinbowaman · 9 months

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could u do a heethan reaction / comforting reader who has cptsd related to sexual abuse? i know it might be vv uncomfortable to write about so it's okay if u don't feel comfortable with it, but i wanted to try my luck 🥺

Of course, this actually is an important topic and I feel like Heethan will help teach us a little something on the matter (i know it sounds hypocritical given what he does to reader all the time) but he does love her and in a way i always imagined that deep down, reader never really truly means 'no' even when she's hesitant, not towards heethan. with samuel, gabe, or scott, it was definitely "NO!" but with heethan, she knows so (this does not make any sense and i dont condone to sexual harassment or sexual abuse.....i just love heethan and readen. if you get it, you get it.) they are soulmates. and just like with alot of the drabbles, heethan does teach us some valuable life lessons while helping readen cope.

FYI, in case if readers haven't read HHP, this covers the events from chapter 11-13/14. Readen actually did go through some shit and some of the stuff wasn't even seen by Heethan, so that's just to fill you in to avoid confusion. I highly recommend reading at least those chapters before reading this drabble.

PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE PROCEEDING!!!!!!

“Within Time.”

WARNINGS: THIS IS GOING TO HAVE SOME DESCRIPTIVE ACTS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT/HARASSMENT, NIGHTMARES, READEN IS TRAUMATIZED AND EXPERIENCES "WHAT IF....." MOMENTS, READEN HAS PTSD, QUESTIONS/PONDERS OF SUICIDE, MENTIONS OF MURDER FROM THE PAST, THIS ISN'T CANON BUT STILL VERY SENSITIVE MATERIAL BELOW THE LINE, PLEASE USE CAUTION WHEN READING.

Jolting up from the bed, casted in the pitch darkness of the night, your chest felt the pain of losing breath as you realized that it was only a dream.....at least....it was right now.

Glancing over to the side, you saw that Heeseung remained asleep soundly, his hand gently resting on your thigh as you caught your breath. It's funny just how safe you feel with him by your side, you wish that on some days that you didn't have to sleep.....for there were times where your dreams were a harrowing reminder of what happened months ago....with Scott.....

Granted, the man was no longer around...you recalled vaguely, as if it were a dream, that you could view the happenings of the event that unfolded through a black, narrowed tunnel that piped your vision as you allowed Eden to remain fully present, leaving you to 'rest' in the backside of your mental capacity. You saw what Heeseung did.....and there were alot of times...you wish he could do it over and over again.....all because the mark that Scott left on you, was painfully eternal.

.......................

The feeling of his hands squeezing your breast, his tongue licking your neck as he held you down, trying to take it further. His hands......not Heeseung...not your man...your husband...your soulmate.....but another man was touching you, going against you, licking you and tasting your skin. You......the territory of your loving partner.

Was it any wonder you felt so tainted? Despite Heeseung and Jake arriving just in time, it still haunted you.....what if they hadn't?

That is where your nightmares came in, for some nights, you not only relived the moments of you avoiding his kiss, while your body was forced to feel the touch of his hands as he grabbed, squeezed, licked, and kissed breasts. Sucking on your neck, and even biting on you. No matter how many times you've showered, scrubbed, and soaped yourself down, you always felt as if his hands were on you still....

Your nightmares forced you to relive all of that.....and also show you just what would have happened had Heeseung not been there to save you.

The view of Tiff's face laughing as you could feel Scott thrusting, his sweat dripping on your face, his voice groaning amid your piercing screams as your arms are held down, your body shifting upwards from absorbing the impact of him tearing into you.......why?......

Why was this in your head? You did your best to not think about what could have unfolded, let alone what actually had happened......was this the effect of just being traumatized? It was all so terrible.....as much as you love Heeseung and want to remain with him forever......you couldn't lie to yourself when admitting that the nightmares were becoming too much.......some nights, you just wanted to fall asleep forever and never wake up again.

The thought of taking your own life saddened you, not only because you want to live....your life was so decent before experiencing that terrible experience........but for Heeseung......you want to spend your life with him. You love him more than anything else in life....was it so bad that you grew sad and angry for wondering just why things had to go that way? What was wrong with you just being happy and living your life without meeting Scott and Tiff? Why did they have to take you away? Why did Scott have to say those words to you?....

........................

"Are you on birth control? If you're a virgin, I need to know right now because that would be a huge bonus."

.........................

Some days...you wonder if the scenarios in your dreams are real and the life you live with Heeseung are unreal. It became hard to determine what was actually happening and what was just a mirage. The nightmares kept coming, and they grew more vivid, haunting you with the touch and showing you the alternative fate you would have succumbed to. So many days, you wanted to tell Heeseung of what happened.....how fearful you felt......how your mind drifts off and reminds you that had your lover not find you, you would have been raped, abused, and forced into the most degrading acts ten times over while each man would have taken his turn, recording the entire event. But you couldn't bring yourself to tell him.....you break before you could even speak on the matter.

Shuttering, your body trembles as you forced back the tears. Usually you succeeded in keeping them at bay, this time......you weren't strong enough. You cried.....and you cried hard.

Moaning out your sobs as you placed our hand over your eyes, you felt the tears drench your face, coating it with stream after stream, forcing you to slip further into despair as you wished deeply that you could forget....that it never happened. You would never have these thoughts if only the universe could change the course of events....if time could revert and if things could be different...if things could have remained and been the way without Tiff and Scott.......

................

HIS PERSPECTIVE

You woke up to the movement of subtle shakes and heard the cry of the bell-tuned voice.

"Y/n??"

Raising up, your grogginess faded instantly at realizing that she was sitting with her chest pressed up to her thighs, knees bent with her arms looped around underneath. Cradling herself in, she sobs with a haunting tone emitting from those beautiful lips of hers.

"Y/n whats wrong? What happened?"

Pulling her in, you embraced her. Why was she crying? Who hurt her? You swore that you'd not only kill whomever would dare hurt her, you'd make it everlasting and painful for them.

Little were you aware.....you already had killed him. Yet his acts remained, and you never knew...until tonight.

"Y/n, please pretty baby. Dont cry, tell me whats wrong? Who hurt you?"

Sobbing, gasping for air, forgetting to breathe over and over again, she whimpers and bursts into a new set of tears every other second as she tried to find the words, yet her sobs grew more frantic and violent as she began to scream out your name. God.......it broke your heart.......you swore, it felt as if someone was digging into your chest cavity with pliers, ripping your heart out piece by piece the moment she cried out your name, knowing that you wanted to help her, you were willing to, you would do anything for her....you just didn't know what or how as she couldn't find the words to breathe out other than your name. Desperate for you to hold onto her, her body shakes even more, her hands spider crawl the sheets, searching for your hands as her face hangs low, her forehead pressed against her kneecaps.

"I"m here. I'm right here, please......tell me whats wrong."

Desperate for some closure, you voiced your words to try and get her to tell you. That's all you needed....was a name.....of whoever hurt her. Everything else, you already knew how to handle and had a plan...you just needed....the name.

"Who hurt you? Tell me!" Embracing her tightly, your body began to tremble on its own from the fury that was building up deep inside you. "Tell me.....and I'll ruin them."

"Y....you can't....." she whimpers out.

"Yes I can...and I will. Tell me y/n."

"N.....you cant.........you can't...."

Getting angry and irritated, you gritted your teeth as you demanded an explanation. "What are you talking about? Tell me and I will. You know I will, tell me right now."

"You wont be able to.......Heeseung..."

"Why?"

"Because you already did kill him.....but he still haunts me...."

.................

The last piece of your heart.....dragged out slowly from beneath your ribcage. You knew....you knew what she had meant.

"Scott......"

Yet a sense of confusion took over. You not only killed Scott, but you had also protected and saved her from him. Was it from when he took her? From when he slapped his hand against her soft cheek, staining it red from the sting? What was it?

"Y/n...."

As you started to softly speak her name, that's when it happened....she broke....for the first time since the incident, your otherwise usually happy, smiling, sweet darling y/n, who was always cheerful, gentle, and reflected just pure joy and love......finally broke.....in a way that you never wanted to see her reach ever again.

"I CANT!!! PLEASE!!!! MAKE HIM STOP! MAKE HIM STOP!!! I TRIED...I TRIED I TRIED I TRIED I TRIED....I COULDNT LET HIM....BUT HIS HANDS....I STILL FEEL THEM....GET THEM OFF OF ME!!!!!!"

She slaps her skin, peeling away what she sees were Scott's hands.....but you watched as she desperately grabbed hands full of air as she pushes away.....nothing......but it wasn't nothing. There definitely was something. You knew that...no one else could understand...just you.

Grabbing onto her wrist, you cradled to her and let her sob as she began hyperventiliating. Guiding her, you walked her through her breaths, helping her to gain control of her body once more.

"Baby breathe...look at me...breathe baby...breathe.....thats it......breathe."

The room was dark with only the light peering in from outside, the streetlight's pale blue glare seeps into your window, casting a dimmed tone into the room as you witness the shine on her cheeks. The tears were relentless.......but no more. You were going to take care of that for her.

"Baby....breathe...." you didn't ask her, you only kept helping her to breathe again. Honestly, you felt that asking her any further was something that wouldn't help, but you were surprised when she opened up fully, gasping out the events that took place right before you arrived to bring her back home...

"I'm...i'm sorry........I.....I....I couldn't let him....he tried but i wouldn't let him kiss me......but i couldn't stop him from touching......I....I can't forget how it felt....he touched.......he did things......that only you should have done......and if you hadn't came.....he would of.....he...he. and his friends...they...they would have held me down and-"

"Shhhh....y/n come here."

Turning her to face you, you laid her head on your chest as you cradled her in your arms. Rocking her, you caressed her cheeks until nearly forty minutes after the fact, she finally succumbed the exhaustion of sobbing and fell back asleep. You however, remained awake for the entire night.

..................

HER PERSPECTIVE

You woke up to find that Heeseung was still awake, cradling your body as he stared out the window, watching the sun come up. Reaching up to grab the collar of his t-shirt, he glances down and lovingly cradles your cheek in his palm.

"You okay?" he asks.

Nodding slightly, you felt like crying again noting that he hadn't slept at all since your episode. The way he looked at you with nothing but love in his eyes, you felt shameful for keeping him from peacefully sleeping.

"I'm sorry about last night..."

Shaking his head, he switches his gaze on the bedding as he furrows his brows. "Don't be. You did nothing wrong and you have nothing to be sorry about...."

Sniffling, you relaxed and steadied your breath as you tried to hold back the tears you felt coming back up. When suddenly his voice spoke out, completely shocking you...

"Babydoll....."

"E....Ethan?"

Switching to a sinister gaze, one that was not displaying that eerie and malicious smile that he always wore, instead, it was the look of a cold blooded killer. Ethan remained facing the window as he rested his chin in his hand, elbow propped against the window sill.

"Have you been having bad nightmares.....of Scott?" he carefully asks.

Nodding, you buried your face into his chest. Once again, you steadied your breath as you felt your body shake from bursting into tears any moment.

Placing his hand over your head, he pets the back of your hair as he looks down and watches as you remained plastering your face against him.

"Have you been thinking of going to heaven?" he placed the words delicately, already figuring the answer, but needed to be sure.

Shocked at his question, you nodded as you kept your face burrowed into his pectoral muscles, not wanting to look him in the eye.

"kay......come on get dressed......"

You were confused but didn't ask questions as you got ready and followed Ethan to the car. Strange, normally when you were upset or feeling down, Heeseung always aided you in coping, yet this time, he switched over to Ethan...which was.....quite shocking considering the issue you were experiencing....was something that despite being out of love and fulfilling your deepest desires, Ethan himself had done far more than Scott ever did......

Driving, you recognized the area that Ethan took you to. It was the farm that he and Heeseung brought you the morning after your first night. It was the farm, "Terres de Nice". He knew how much you loved being here, it was so beautiful, peaceful, and calming. Parking the car, he took you by the hand and for the first time, since your many visits to the farm, he walked you around the pasture. As the cows, sheep, and horses grazed over the wide spread of fresh green grass, he walks you up to the large barn. You were somewhat nervous, as you wondered if the owners were okay with two random people coming up on the property without permission. Yet the moment you both entered the barn, an older woman greets him, instantly recognizing him.

"Heeseung, long time no see."

Wide eyed, aside from you and Jake, you never heard anyone else call him by his birth name. Ethan remained, never switching back which made things even more confusing as you watched him develop a calming expression, his sinister gaze slightly fades as he develops a look that was more human than demonic, yet he still was.....Ethan.....

"아줌마, 그동안 잘 지내셨어요?"

The woman, who was what you assumed of Korean descent as she and Ethan conversed in the shared language.

"난 괜찮아, 대학은 어때? 거의 끝났어?"

"네, 그렇습니다. 졸업 후에 한국에 가서 가족을 볼 거예요."

You stood by as you listened in as they spoke, Ethan gently pulls you in and introduces you to the elder woman.

"제 아내이고 이름은 y/n입니다."

The woman smiles and walks up, gently taking you by the hand and she gently shakes it while smiling and speaking in broken English.

"I so nice to meet you. Very nice."

You smile back whole heartedly, she was so frail and nice, her hands were boney as she gently rubbed your palm while greeting you. With the bit of Korean that Heeseung, and Ethan had taught you, you applied what you've learned and spoke back in her native tongue.

"안녕하세요, 만나서 반갑습니다."

"ooooh!" the lady gasped out in a pleasant expressive tone. Looking over to Ethan, she smiles as she tells him "매력적인 젊은 여자." Facing in your direction once more, she tells you "So very pretty." As she pats Ethan on his back.

Smiling, as he pulls you in by the waist, Ethan asks the woman, "내 아들이 먹고 있니?"

Nodding, the woman replies back. "예, 그는 우나와 함께 있습니다."

Taking a couple of handheld, wooden brushes off the wall, Ethan takes you by the hand and trails you away from the barn after thanking the elder woman and admitting a slight bow, which you did the same as he walked you further into the pasture. Whistling out, loud and harshly, the high pitch of his whistle pierced your ears as it ringed through the sky. Immediately after, a loud neighing echoes right back, as if it responded to Ethan's call.....and it did.

Whistling out once more, this time in a patterned tempo, the neighing responded as you heard the gallop of the creature coming in closer and closer. Looking from afar, you watched as the black stallion came up, galloping towards Ethan.

"Come here boy." Ethan calmly calls out as he extends his hand and receives the creature as it halts to a slow stop, right as it's snout touches Ethan's hand. "Good boy!" Ethan rubs the creatures snout and forehead, gently moving the hair away from its large eyes as he kisses the horse before patting it's neck. Taking you by the hand, he walks you over, around the front of the horse and towards it's side, placing and keeping your hand in contact with the large animal. Taking one of the wooden brushes, Ethan slips the leather strap over your hand as glides your fingers through, resting your palm on the wooden backing. Placing it back on the creature, he leads you with his hand over atop of yours, and sets the pace as he guides you in brushing the animal's back and stomach.

"This is Connor." Ethan speaks calmly into the back of your head as he continues to guid your brush strokes.

"Is...he yours?"

Ethan smirks as he looks as he tilts his head back and looks at Connor's face while the animal neighed out. "In a way. When he was born, back in my first year of college, I visited him often to play with him. So the owners let me name and claim him."

At peace and feeling the effects of tranquil and joy, you continued to brush Connor, never knowing until now that the creature existed. After a moment or two, another horse gallops up close, a beautiful red mare with a white diamond pattern on her forehead with black hair draped over her neck, matching the soft strands of her tail.

"Ah, this is Una." Extending his hand, Ethan gives a small whistle as Una trots right up to him, placing her snout under his hand just as Connor had done. "She's....Connor's girlfriend." he chuckles out, petting her neck as the two horses began softly necking each other.

Taking you to Una, he guides you to brush her, while taking the second brush and begins tending to Connor. In a standstill moment of time, you both brushed, fed, and walked the two horses around the pasture, conversing about anything and everything. He never asked you about what your nightmare was about, but you could tell it wasn't because he didn't care....he did. That was why he didn't ask. Instead, he knew, that the hauntings of your thoughts.....the events that could have transpired, the feeling of being stained by Scott's hands was something he couldn't change, yet he took it away by taking you to visit Connor and Una nearly every other day. He showed you how to saddle the horses, and taught you to ride them through the trails that he often took Connor to whenever he had time off from school. Little by little, you felt yourself feeling healed and drifting to the reality of your world, your life, living new experiences as Ethan, and Heeseung would take turns showing you the ropes of the pasture and even showed you some of the other farm animals.

Later in the upcoming months, you both would aid the owners in picking fruits out of the orchard, prune the trees, and play with the dogs. It was comforting, touching, and so........free.

"Free...."

Yes, free. Just as the horses galloped freely in the wide open, you felt free.....and it was exactly what you needed as you realized you were trapped in the dark cloud of trauma. But each time Heeseung brought you to the pasture, or when Ethan would take you horseback riding, you felt yourself breaking away from that cloud, and enjoying the freedom of feeling how you wanted to feel. Happiness. Comfort. Warmth.

Just as Connor took to Heeseung and Ethan, Una took to you just the same. Taking in the responsibility of caring for her, loving her, and cherishing her, you felt that your life had meaning and a purpose, which was something you never really felt even before the incident. But with the bond that you were developing with your pretty little mare, the feeling of having something to live for...something that was, for once, an entity you provided care for, instead of being the one that needed protection, you found a sense of fulfillment. Sensing your new found glory of emotions, he knew he succeeded....

"A long time ago, I saw a pretty, delicate flower...it was the most beautiful flower i've ever seen. Picking it from it's root, I took it and planted it in my own garden, where I cared and nurtured it on my own. I watched it grow and bloom....I watched as it shed it's petals and fall dormant during the cold months of winter, before greeting me the moment spring arrived. I watched as the sun would rise, expanding the highlight of its beauty, and watched as the moon kissed it's color as the night dew mirrored my unconditional love for it. A moment of despair nearly killed me, when a man stumbled across my pretty little flower, and clipped its stem, taking it from me to wilt away from afar. I felt as if i was withering away.....I lost my pretty flower.....my garden was empty, lacking color and joy for my flower was no longer there. Out of despair, i tore the fence and destroyed it, unable to view at how stark dead it looked, for my pretty flower was the only thing that brought my garden to life. It brought me joy and happiness, but no more as it was gone. for months, even years, the weeds and grass swarmed what was once my own little patch of contentment. Eventually, it became congested and harrowing as the broken fence line and posts were choked out by the ever spreading vines, and the tall thorny weeds that blocked out the sun. It reflected the lack of life and beauty my garden once had.....it was forever gone....my garden...no more. Until one day, as I went to set the entire region aflame, unable to bear the view of ugliness that continuously presented itself to my sight, i caught a slight glance of what initially, i couldn't believe.....I tore out the weeds, pulled out the grass and peeled back the vines, and there she was.....my pretty flower grew back for me....stronger than ever with bushier leaves, larger petals, and multiple blooms in various colors. My pretty flower has come back to me....because she never left. Her roots remained, and though she was cut deep......she still grew back because she knew i needed her.....just like she needs me. Through all the blockage of the ugliness that surrounded her, she still grew and became everlasting....she triumphed over the ugliness that concealed her away from me.....she is strong...she is bold....and she is alive and well, never letting the clipping prevent her from blooming for me. She has become more beautiful and thriving....I realized, that while I may not have been there for her....my flower has always been there for me......it took her a while to regain her stem and her leaves......but she made it. There is nothing that my pretty flower can't overcome, through wind and storm, my pretty flower will remain and continue to bloom for me.......if you let her....if you give her a chance.....my pretty flower will always come back.....time, will heal all wounds....." - Heethan

-Fin

Enjoyed this piece? Show love and treat your girl to a cup of coffee. ♥️

☕ Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/reinbow

#heeseung x reader #heeseung scenarios #enha x reader #heeseung fanfic #heeseung fluff #enha fluff #enha imagines #enha scenarios #heeseung imagines #heeseung au

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1eoness · 6 days

Note

BROOO u were literally probably the first author whose fic i read when i first searched up leon smuts last year 😭 ur works r so good n idk if u'll see this but it's nice to hear abt ur perspective, i feel like fics abt leon these days r so fucked up and scary, it reminds me of when i first read a fic of yours and it was nothing but normal and hot? i just mean it's like, what fanfiction should be, how smuts should be, just p in v and stuff without all that crazy shit, it sucks to see writers these days waste their talent on writing dead dove fics that are so horrendous that it really affected me mentally

helloo!! (im not dead mueheaheah)

WARNING : Mentions of dead dove content and the likes of its themes!

before i talk : [HIIIIII HEHAHEH thank you for your support!! i'm glad you liked my (very subpar) work! now that i look back on it those themes did enter a somewhat gray line at some point because i lacked a lot of experience in writing. i do not condone ever letting your professor have sex with you nor do i promote any kind of hate-motivated sex, or dubcon! it was merely a bold attempt of expressing hormones (if you know 😭) like a lot of people my age commonly do and so i had (and still have to) reedit the tropes in my work a bit, also because i turned 18 now and i wanna readjust my boundaries! i hope you dont mind. regardless, i love that you like those themes. very good! love you!! /p]

anyway, leaning more towards the topic at hand. i don't doubt that your opinion is much different than a large part of the community under this tag. which is a very, very good thing! i'm pretty sure it was ever since @/gilfhub's posts started to quickly rise in the top pages that lead a lot of users to be influenced and begin to tear down a very, very important boundary. i'm very sorry to hear that being exposed to that affected you mentally, that's the entire reason why i absolutely abhor blogs that post and enable that content. you're not alone on that either <3 and i agree! people should ALWAYS write boundaries in mind. i've lurked around the tag a lot and noticed a lot of "popular" writers who also have an alternative blog for dark content (this isn't just a specific account, there are a lot of these.) warnings don't make things better, they don't fend witnesses away, and it doesn't make you any less insensitive. "dead dove content" itself (which is really just incestual/horribly taboo sexual assault fantasies, no need to sanitize it) should always be suppressed and private (or, well, NOT WRITTEN AT ALL). the moment you put it up on any kind of digital page, you are attracting ANY kind of viewer and none of that shit is cute, i'm sorry. projecting your trauma onto a character is one thing but writing them as someone who skips the morality line is just straight up trying to exercise your power through the wrong means. just as much as you have the power to express yourself, you also have the power to make someone very uncomfortable. people don't think about these situations in the long run, that's why. they seem to really like using the "leon is just a character, i promise he won't care" argument which i also think is total bullshit cause this isn't even about leon, it just entirely reflects what your true values really are. they centralize around the need to express yourself at the expense of other people's comfort (because, for the nth time, it's a public space with an unpredictable demographic yet people seem to really like just doing the "bare minimum" on their part). whilst your perception of a traumatic experience may be valid, it doesn't give you any excuse. this is far from the idea of free individualistic expression, it is just as bad as some 4channer posting about wanting similar situations be inflicted onto them with even real, sentient people. because we all know why these themes allow themselves to be exposed to the audience and that's because it tries to appeal to a very specific group of people (which is very disgusting.) they want to be so condescending, too. like "oh grow up, i'm all under ur skin and for what." it's blatant ignorance, you're not very smart!

and finally as ironic as it is, porn is to blame for enabling a lot of similar themes. it's so obvious, too, a lot of fictions like the ones you mentioned that are dead dove always have to mention pornography titles in it. (honestly doesn't have to be dead dove either). sanitization can be done in MANY ways, and a lot of the times I notice it's through the way of romanticizing or aestheticizing it. I'm talking about those who put up mini pinterest-board headers of like three whatevercore images and then putting lyrics at the bottom of it. it's like an attempt at writing a very bad fucking movie not gonna lie. for example, they end up trying to decorate their post with elements that fall under anything curated aesthetic. and guess what? we've all been there but NOT for writing about uncle!character and their kid reader thats just flat out WEIRD. trust me you are NOT anais nin, you do not have to write lyrical prose and try to beautify something that will always be ugly and demented to its very core. you cannot call dead dove content "artistic vents", either. i also think i can understand that some people are victims who have failed to get help thus they try to cope through other means. but i will never applause someone for making the right choices. i think there's no excuse behind writing dead dove content other than to self mutilate your mental health in the long run for a temporary moment of "safe fun", and not even knowing that it is also in/directly harming the public eye.

it's rotten. it's disgusting. dead dove writers should not be welcomed in any fictional writing space. i've been triggered over and over again and it made me put off writing and reading for a very long time. i've experienced something similar before and i have gone crazy over it, and trust me, the things these people write so "generously" for their viewers are NOTHING but toxic waste.

tumblr is NOT your space, but everyone has a space in tumblr, so be conscious of yours.

i also encourage people to not stay silent on the matters if they want to speak up on it but are afraid of getting backlash. i've seen people delete their accounts over it (which, i guess is good on them since then they won't have to confront this kind of space anymore).

#leon kennedy smut #ivy responding #loen s kennededyyy!!!!

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multifandoms27-blog · 2 years

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Seto Kaiba Relationship HC's

• ───────────────── •

Content: Seto Kaiba x gn!Reader

Warnings: None

Notes: I've fallen back in the Yugioh rabbit hole

• ───────────────── •

ADHJKHFKJ Okay, continuing from this

After you began dating, Seto let the rumors swim around for a few more weeks, wanting to enjoy what little secrecy he had left with you

When he did announce that you two were together, suddenly you became an "influential" interest on social media

Your parents/guardians were pretty impressed

Seto by now has learned how to ignore the public, and if he sees you struggling with it, he'll help you

Mainly by having you create new private accounts and turning notifications off on the now widely known ones

But when you go out in public, he almost always makes appearances with you

He wants you to be safe, and the media is saying that you're getting him out of his shell

Kaiba isn't very...attentive? Emotionally he's just not expressive

Sometimes he'll hold your hand or whatever, but never in public. In the beginning of the relationship, in private, getting him to be physically affectionate with you was like pulling teeth

Seto sucks as a romantic partner LMFAO

He's trying his best-

Seto eventually learns the importance of physical affection, and will try to give you some at every opportunity he can

He's still the CEO, he's a busy man

Makes sure you're safe at school or with Yugi, makes you check in with him every hour

If you don't respond or check in, he'll send Roland out to find you

Will probably make you turn on your location after a couple scares lol

Seto is possessive, but not exactly jealous

You agreed to be with him, so you belong to each other. Not anybody else

Always has you matching his outfits, no matter the color

Would probably try to persuade your parents into letting you move in with him after you two have been together for a year

He's pretty serious about you

Seto doesn't attach easily to people, so once he gets with you he pretty much thinks that you're it

That being said, if he's so busy to the point where he feels like it's tearing your relationship apart, he'll set aside time for you, even if he has to work a little bit while he spends time with you

When that happens, he'll probably have you come to the office with him, so you can still be in his presence

He also just likes being around you

Will take a 5-10 minute cuddle break every like, four or five hours

He's at Kaiba corp for a long time

His sleep schedule is shit btw, so if you text him randomly at like, 2:30 am, he'll hit you with "go to bed"

Seto is a great listener when you need to vent to someone. But he isn't that great with verbal or physical comfort

If you want comfort from him, he'll ask you to show him/tell him exactly what you want

After so many times of this, he'll remember what you want and will eventually be able to comfort you without asking what you want

That goes for almost every area in the relationship btw

After some time passes, he'll learn to be a good boyfriend for you

After you move in with him, he makes sure half of his room is empty so you can put your stuff in

"Seto, why is half of your room emtpy?"

"It's our room now. Put what you can in here, but then we have to leave for a dinner date by 8." Seto checked his watch.

"Well...can you help me?"

"Sure. It'll go faster that way." Seto nodded.

He gets so good at the boyfriend thing, that sometimes he'll come back home to give you flowers for no reason at all

He also likes putting flowers in your hair if you're on a picnic, with Mokuba, on vacation, or just to see you smile

He just gets even better when one day he comes home with a ring

• ───────────────── •

Here is my Masterlist in case you want to request, or look for more of your favorite character!

#yugioh #ygo #yugioh duel monsters #yu gi oh #yugioh seto kaiba #seto kaiba x reader #seto kaiba x you #seto kaiba #seto kaiba x y/n

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blackjackkent · 1 month

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Quick camp chats before heading out on the road again. (I'm thinking about making straight for the creche actually, since Rakha definitely thinks it's the most important thing to do right now, and then circling back for final nautiloid map stuff on the way to the Underdark.)

Rakha questioned Gale much more thoroughly about Karsus and the fall of Netheril; even though it happened a long time ago, she's still hungry for any new knowledge, more pieces in her picture of the world. I think this is probably not the last time that he ends up just discoursing to her on some random subject or another; if there's one thing Gale can't resist, it's an attentive student, even if it's one fully capable of ripping his throat out in the wrong moment. He also explained, much to her disappointment, that there's no way she would be strong enough on her own to channel the Weave as they did together - that it requires intense study even for someone with a natural magical gift like her. She's quietly bummed about this; she was taken with the idea of showing it to Wyll.

Having talked to Dammon, we have the option to ask Karlach directly about the engine in camp. She's not willing to give the full story until the Paladins are dead, but does explain that it prevents her from touching anyone and how upset that makes her, that she can't have a hug. Rakha spends a lot of time thinking about this afterwards. She has had sex with Lae'zel and she has had Astarion's weight on her as he sucked the blood at her neck, but beyond this, her experience with physical contact of any sort is... limited. But Karlach's longing for it is obvious. It must be comforting, she decides. Like the blanket of the Weave around her. Like Wyll's hand on her arm was, last night.

Astarion is indignant about Gale's orb: "To think, Gale's had this devastating orb within himself the entire time, and only just mentioned it? Who'd keep a secret like that from his friends? You can't trust anyone these days." It takes Rakha a little while to work out that he is being ironic. His response to the question "What do you think we'll find at Moonrise Towers?" amuses me, because his phrasing feels deliberately calibrated for Rakha specifically: "Who knows? Drow? Mind flayers? Death? Hopefully not ours. But maybe answers, if we can convince the right people to talk." Death and answers are Rakha's two favorite things in the whole world.

Wyll is super cute and kinda shy. "Since the party, I've had a spring in my step, and I've got you to thank." Sadly none of the (positive) dialogue options quite fall in Rakha's blunt conversational wheelhouse, but we'll go with, "It was a lovely evening. I hope we can share even more." Because it's true - talking to him was the best part of the party for her by far. She doesn't fully understand her own feelings, but she is realizing she feels better near him than otherwise. He smiles. "I'm sure we will. And when the time comes... I've got something in mind." He raises a hand to forestall her as she opens her mouth to ask questions. "Now, now - no prodding. You don't want to spoil the surprise. But I'll say this... it'll be worth the wait." The odd sense of pleasant anticipation with which Rakha receives this information is a rather new concept for her. She isn't sure what he means... but she is curious to find out.

He also tells her a little bit about growing up as a Duke's son in Baldur's Gate. Most of his descriptions of court and nobility are somewhat lost on her-- more interesting is his description of the transition into becoming Blade of Frontiers. She asks if it was much of a change. "Yes and no," he answers. "Father taught me the four pillars of power - courage, insight, strategy, justice. He reckoned I'd follow in his footsteps, first as a Fist Marshal, then as a Duke. Vanquish evil, maintain order, save the world. But a duke makes bedfellows with more monsters than he slays. Father called it 'diplomacy'. I called it 'hypocrisy.' In the frontiers, there is no posturing, no diplomacy. I slay monsters; I don't consort with them, even if I might look like one." As usual, Rakha tucks away these foundational tenets of his philosophy to consider for herself. Courage, insight, strategy, justice. None of them mean as much to her as violence, hunger, survival, death. And yet they are, perhaps, something to aspire to, if she should ever learn to control the beast... She wonders about that last statement, though. Wyll claims not to consort with monsters - but he travels with Astarion. He travels with her. He travels with Gale and that bomb in his chest. There are many in their group who could be called monsters. What does he see when he looks at them? Does he see his presence here as just another sort of hypocrisy, deep down?

#bjk plays bg3 durge #rakha the dark urge

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lanaevyssmoved · 7 months

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please keep the afhiri/gale stuff coming I’m Very Invested!!!

OUUGHH.. THANK YOU.... maybe i could share the outline for SOME of their fic. since it wont be until like next year that its readable because i have two issues. 1. ooo what if i did it THIS way instead.. and 2. i must finish it before i share any of it

fic takes place 3 years after the events of the game !!!!!!

afhiri is not officially moved in with gale but spends all their fucking time at the tower anyway when at waterdeep. moved in without making it official essentially because the officially pushes afhiri away

the start has afhiri returning from an adventure to find gale isn't home, so they spend their time busking on waterdeeps streets and sleeping in alleyways (refused a key to the tower when offered) until gale returns..... when gale returns afhiri takes notices and charges him at full force. he lets afhiri know he found something and wants to show her it. they return to the tower and he closes everything up and reveals an artefact to her from deep within a lost crypt

a large part of their relationship is afhiri's fascination and interest in his magic and his research - not because she loves power but because she thinks its cool and pretty. so gale seeks to constantly find new ways to impress her - even though a simple fucking fireball can still do that - he needs to outdo himself and convinces himself it's for them

upon fucking with the artefact, gale is possessed by Something that was trapped within it. and afhiri doesn't realise. cue chapters of afhiri not understanding why gale is different, gale internal monologues and intellectual (and sometimes not) debates with whatever is possessing him, and this being pretending to be with gale to essentially fuck with and control afhiri

i never explored The Horrors with afhiri - they're essentially immune to everything that happens in the game. not even what happens with gale traumatises afhiri in any way because afhiri didn't like him like that during that time. just thought it sucked bro. also maybe wanted to stab mystra because she's a cop

afhiri isn't even the one that saves gale from the possession - tara is, who recogonises it's not him immediately and saves the day. and afhiri still doesn't realise. when gale is happy to be free again and reaches for afhiri, they retreat away.

unfortunately during the Hurt ArcTM, afhiri is killed. dw the clown is rezzed but. it is hard on afhiri (this is where we get the only candor scene in the fic <3)

so the next part of the fic after The Horrors is an exercise in learning to trust again. helping afhiri understand what happened and being gentle with them. we had the hurt here comes the comfort

it is only after this happens that afhiri wants to get serious with gale. this is when AFHIRI proposes to gale. knowing how immensely important this moment is, gale agrees to everything she says. afhiri wants to be married. just be married. no wedding day, no being engaged. lets just be married now. he agrees, he deals with all the paper work the next day. they're married now :) . you have to know i cried when writing this scene :D

however during the Comfort ArcTM gale is unfortunately struck with some hubris. as he is wont to do. the realisation of how fragile their lives are. how afhiri is going to out live him. how easy it is for him to hurt her, what if this happened again? he can't have that, he can't have any of this. afhiri can't die, and he can't die and leave afhiri alone. obviously they need to fix that.

during this part of the fic gale convinces afhiri to seek immortality with him - and through his pursuit of immortality and has more hubris caused thoughts where he once again thinks of divinity, thinks of ascension. if they're gods, they can't ever be harmed. that's the only way to make sure they'll be together for eternity

#fray.txt #ask #neonbutchery #afhiri/gale #long post #OOUUUGHH....#FORGOT TO MENTION: THERE IS ANOTHER MAIN CHARACTER HERE BUT IM NOT READY TO PROPERLY INTRODUCE

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jonathanbiers · 11 months

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i lost the ask about it because i tried to save it to the drafts and it DISAPPEARED, but for those of you who voted 'i want your video' in my wip titles poll, i have written the sentences! this isn't the whole thing, but here's a lil sneak preview & reveal for what it's going to be.

the text included here isn't graphic, but mentions sex work, which the fic WILL later include. 🖤

from i want your video,

“They sound like they suck,” Argyle points out, exhaling as he presses the still burning end of the roach against the bottom of the ashtray.

Steve hums as if in thought, eyes turned up toward the ceiling. “I think mom would be okay with it, after some initial adjustment. Just not a conversation I wanna have with either of them, y’know—like, I’m not gonna call them and go, ‘Hey, mom and dad, I lied about the job thing. I’ve actually been selling videos of me touching myself on the internet, but don’t worry, it’s pretty good money.’” Steve looks over at Argyle with a put-on grimace. “Maybe let’s not.”

“Why ever not?” Argyle jokes, reaching over to set the ashtray down on the table by the couch. “I am curious, though—why only the solo stuff?”

“I’m not against the idea of filming with a partner. It just hasn’t happened,” Steve explains, his hand gesturing vaguely in the air. “It would have to be someone I trust. Turns out, that’s a very small list of people.”

The weed must be starting to really kick in, because Argyle doesn’t even really remember why he asked in the first place, doesn’t think twice before he lets slip, “You trust me, don’t you?”

He doesn’t even realize the implication of what he said, his already-short attention span even more of a mess. Not even when Steve considers him for a long few seconds, eyes giving Argyle a once over that, if it had been anyone else—and if Argyle’s self-awareness hadn’t gone out the window—would’ve made it obvious he was being checked out. Maybe because it’s Steve, and because they’re already friends, but it doesn’t make him feel uncomfortable like it normally does, put on the spot when he can tell someone’s eyeing him up.

It’s just Steve, and he’s just looking.

“Yeah, I trust you,” Steve says finally, his head lifting slightly so he can slide his own arm under it, the picture of comfort and ease. “If you want to, then yeah, I’m down. We’d just both have to get tested first—safety and all that important shit.”

“We—huh,” Argyle mumbles aloud, his eyes blinking like that’ll clear away the clouds hovering over his thoughts. It takes a second, but he remembers the earlier parts of the conversation eventually, his mouth dropping open just a bit. “Oh—” Argyle’s mind seems to pause completely while he grasps for words to say. It takes him an embarrassingly long time to come up with anything. “I think maybe I shouldn’t be high for this conversation.”

#*writing #stargyling it up in the word doc tonight #however after this im going to be shifting my focus to my stonathan week wip

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rosenfey · 2 months

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You can make this public Ambie, but its something I've also been struggling with. I honestly understand what you meant when you were talking about like... feeling like you can't love/like said fictional character because other people have claimed them. I'm assuming you mean Gale because i SORTA feel the same but in the sense of... I make Gale gifs but other people's Gale content does so much better so I'm like... am I doing it wrong? Am I enjoying the character wrong? Am I making poor content? Do I not have THE RIGHT to enjoy him because people enjoy said creators content of Gale more than mine...? And yeah its a spiral, to the point I beat myself up over it. It's like... their content blew up overnight while my Gale stuff struggles. Sooo I guess I'm kinda in the same boat and it sucks.

Dear Taylor, thank you. ♡ I am going to write more about this because it's a way for me to organise my thoughts and maybe hopefully also to help me (and you maybe!) to feel better.

I think a lot of this has to do with kinda being on tumblr for a long while. It's ultimately hurtful behaviour but old habits die very hard and it's super easy to feel like it's all some sort of competition - when it isn't obviously, but the anxiety goes deep.

I mostly get it when I feel like I am not making enough "content" (shouldn't probably call gifsets / edits / anything creative "content" in the first place, actually because it strips it down from being something we should do for our own enjoyment. im gonna get there) for a character.

I get like this with Gale as well namely because he is my comfort character in the sense that his story helped me and taught me a lot, and it's just incredibly deeply personal and important to me. But I remember when the "norm" on tumblr felt like (it wasn't maybe but it felt like it) people laid claim on characters. At least in my personal experience, this was really the case because I remember I had a falling out with my ex friend because I started shipping my oc with the same character as them. Unfortunately, I started to believe that this is normal - that oops, they claimed that character and hence I can't have that character myself. I still don't like that character anymore even though I used to love them, simply because somewhere in my mind it feels like a guilty territory, like I don't deserve to like that character anymore.

I haven't been this affected by a fictional character ever before in my life. Gale literally saved my life when I was at a very very very low spot. And he continues to do so. I can safely say he is the reason I am still here. So I think that's why I feel backlash sometimes - even when it's just my own feeling, because nobody has ever told me "hey hands off, its MY emotional support wizard" - because I need to unlearn this habit of feeling like I am not enough. Or that my love isn't enough and that I am not a true "fan" enough. All of that "I am the no.1 fan" and canon url stuff from tumblr from years past is unfortunately still within me. And I can safely say I am working on it, however, there are some bad days sometimes.

I stopped posting about Faerene x Gale because at this point I only talk about my ocs because I feel like I need to "make up" for the fact that other people talk about their OCs / Gale x Tav ships more often. And if I don't post about mine it makes me feel like people will assume I don't like this pairing as much as others do. Same when it comes to gifsets and stuff, I feel like mine aren't getting much traction because somehow I don't "deserve" to love this fictional character as much because other people post and talk about them more often than I do.

It really really really sucks but I fully believe we can work on it!! At least I can always tell myself that even though I have these feelings I will not let them take over me. Because we don't act upon them. We don't go around and tell people "hands off my comfort character I love him more than anyone". We don't feel like this because we are bad people. I think we are just deeply hurt somehow. But that can be healed and I believe in us.

Just remember that you are more than what you post online. Your online presence doesn't define how you feel about things. You cannot simply measure love. Love is unique for all of us!! And it's incredibly beautiful that we get to love a fictional character so much and that Gale has brought so much joy to many other people. Your experience with Gale is different from mine and everyone elses! Nobody. I mean nobody. Can take that away. And spoiler alert, most of them aren't even trying to.

#ask #wizardblood #sorry i got carried awayyy but i need to sort my brain #today is a mental health-care day

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smalltownfae · 4 months

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Updated Top Favourite Authors

This is my current (2024) top favourite authors. The more I read about others that I considered favourites in the past the more I was aware about how they weren't favourites after all. These will probably never leave my top because they are the best of the best to me. There might be others that are close (like Joe Abercrombie, Juliet Mariller and Tolkien), but not quite there yet at least. Fair warning that all of my favourite authors have works I do not like.

Robin Hobb

The Realm of the Elderlings series had such a profound impact on me that I doubt any other work will ever surpass it. My favourite character of all time is in it and even though the series has flaws I can't help but love it in spite of that. The writing, the atmosphere, the character work, the themes... almost everything hits so right for my taste that is absurd. That said I did try the Soldier Son trilogy three or four times and I can't seem to get into it. I somehow still haven't given up because I keep thinking "maybe someday in the future". I am very delusional. Also, her works as Megan Lindholm that I tried also didn't captivate me nearly as much as that first series I read. She somehow hit the mark with that world and I still didn't find the same brilliance in her other works, but the impact of Realm of the Elderlings is so big that she is number one.

2. Oscar Wilde

The man, the myth, the legend. The Picture of Dorian Gray was not only the book that made me get into classics, it was also the book that made me get into reading. I was always an avid reader except for a period during high school where the only thing I read and reread was Harry Potter. That period of my life was filled with social situations so reading took a backseat. I went back to it and found my love for it again when I started to work, which sucked out my entire social life at the time. Reading was again a great comfort to me like it had been in my childhood and tween years and Oscar Wilde helped with that. That is also when I found out that I shamelessly plagiarized his The Happy Prince story in fourth grade because I had seen a cartoon adaptation on tv. It hit me how amazing it was that this author's works were having an impact on me that far back and without me knowing. I didn't even know what plagiarism was back then, but my teacher apparently didn't know that work because she loved my story and thought it original and emotional. Now, not all of his works are great. I think most of his poetry sucks, especially, and I don't like all of his plays. But, I recently reread The Picture of Dorian Gray in english this time (I own the complete works in english and this particular book in my mother tongue too) and I fell in love with it all over again. I also reread The Importance of Being Earnest and it still made me laugh really hard. So, just like Robin Hobb, it is this high up the list for the impact it had on me. My friends know that I am obsessed with RotE and Oscar Wilde so much that one of them brought me stuff with his face on it after she visited Ireland.

3. Kazuo Ishiguro

Somehow I think most people don't get his works the way I get them. Even from his first work that I read, that was also his first published book because it was the only one available in the library, I felt a strange connection with it. I can't explain how or why, but when I read an Ishiguro novel I feel calm and relaxed even if the plot isn't particularly that. It also always makes me think about something. I must say that I read his works translated (The Buried Giant being the only one I own in english and I haven't read it yet). But, his works were translated by different people and it always gives me the same feeling which makes me think it really is something about the author. Even if I rated his first book 3.5 stars or something like that I still think about it and I often think that I should rate it higher for that because 3 star books don't stay in my head like that. I don't know. This one I really can't say why it gets to me, but it does everytime. The only time that it didn't was when Ishiguro wrote short stories, but I also listened to those on audio so I am not sure if that is why the experience was different. Either way, I didn't really like the stories. I have been noticing that works with too much focus on music tend to be a miss for me, even though there are exceptions.

4. Terry Pratchett

Pure genius. I have only read Discworld books (and Good Omens), but even in that series it is very hit or miss. However, there are always moments in the books that make me go "oh, that was really good". When Discworld books work for me they really work. I am also one of those odd ducks that started with The Color of Magic and really liked it so I continued the series until there were no more books available in the library. I foolishly recommended people to start with that book and then they never read another Discworld book ever again. Nowadays I know better. Comedy is also hard to do because it will depend on a person's sense of humour. Since I like puns and clever social commentary, Discworld is my ideal brand of comedy. Plus, the characters can be quite charming. It reminds me of a very good cartoon.

5. Octavia E. Butler

The reason why she isn't higher on the list isn't only because Fledgling is an abomination. It is also because she always has identical themes in her works and similar main female characters. It is great that I do love those themes and the way she addresses them, but at a certain point it starts to feel almost like if you read one you have read them all, which isn't exactly true. Even though there are many similarities between her works, there are also some differences which are good enough to keep the readers engaged. I have yet to read her short stories and one of the series but I am looking forward to it. While I feel like the other authors on this list are brilliant at writing, Butler's style is simpler and straight to the point. It's her ideas that shine in her works. Plus, she is the author that made me not give up on scifi because it showed me that it can have heart and a focus on people instead of the just the science and technology.

The end

The similarities between my favourite authors is that there is a moment I realize that a lot of other people don't get it the way I do. When they read their words they don't feel the way I feel and they don't experience the wonder and the joy that I do. When I get that feeling is when I know an author is a favourite and it only becomes more of a certainty when I speak to people that felt the entire opposite or didn't feel anything at all. It didn't speak to them and that is alright. The authors that work for them probably mean nothing to me too, but I always like to hear people be passionate about their favourites as long as it's genuine and if it is it shows on their face. If you see this post feel free to tell me a bit about your favourite authors and why you love them :) I might find new favourites or get a new appreciation for them if I already know them.

#top favourite authors #robin hobb #oscar wilde #kazuo ishiguro #terry pratchett #octavia e. butler #booklr

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