#and every summer without fail
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i try to have love and sympathy for all creatures but MAN do i hate ants
#our back doors dont seal very well#and every summer without fail#they're EVERYWHERE#i hate them#saymbles
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x men textposts!!!
#i don't know what it is but something about spring triggers the resurgence of my x men obsession every year without fail#jean grey#scott summers#bobby drake#warren worthington iii#i hate hank so he's not here#x men#textposts
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today is a bad day too, but not as bad as yesterday. i guess that's progress?
#helena rants#thank you to the people who reached out#that meant a lot#depression is a bitch and is being mean to me#can you have seasonal depression in the summer? because i swear it gets worse in the summer months for me#every year without fail#tw depression#<- just to be safe
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i think it might be time to admit that the nearly 2 years of allergy shots haven't done shit if i had my bedroom window cracked open for 3 hours yesterday morning to cool down and then i had an 6 hour long asthma attack and still woke up feeling like i was covered in bees.
#listen! i dont want to be the person inside 24/7 because ~allergies~ but what am i supposed to do?????#i take 4 doses of antihistamines every day and am still getting bad symptoms#genuinely if my dr orders more allergy testing this summer i dont think ill be able to do it. i was Suffering when i missed one dose of med#a few weeks ago i dont think i can go a week without meds without An Event#why is it so bad? i used to be able to go outside and touch grass and enjoy it but my immune system has just been failing me for 5 years no#anyways. time to go shower and scrub my skin off and wash everything i own :(#personal
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Save me, May to December by Megan Fernandes. Save me
#but goddd. also shoutout to The Woman Who Turned Down A Date with a Cherry Farmer by Aimee Nezhukumatathil#idk. something about summer nights turn me into someone who yearns for people who i haven't spoken to in a long time.#when I was fourteen in the summer I remember running around the yard and having dried-out bamboo sword fights like children would#and a decade later I still have the skeletons of bamboo everywhere back in the woods because it's impossible to fully get rid of.#and every summer I step over the brittle bamboo corpses on my way to the blackberries#and I remember the hollow thunks that the bamboo logs made when my friend and I smacked them against the old oak trees.#how apt to remember someone by the one plant that's impossible to kill. you think you've got it down and every year without fail it returns#even when it's gone it's never really gone. What do you do with a fuckton of dry 17-foot-tall bamboo logs once you chop them?#dead corpses that won't decompose. they just haunt the forest floor and crack underfoot to remind you of their presence.#dry and brittle and sunbleached and splintering in the july heat.#we used to burn them but they'd pop and crack and remind me of bonfires and the smell of smoke in his sibling's car instead.#I think the only route is acceptance and maintenance. it'll never go away. you just keep it at bay until you move away from it entirely#you can't uproot it but you can run from it I guess#but what use is that when it even grows along the interstate because people plant it without knowing how determined it is?#anyways. tentative plan is to find something even more invasive to choke it out /j
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few more months and then its gravy falls season again babyyyyy
#virgil.txt#love having a scheduled hyperfixation bc without fail every time i rewatch gravity falls around june and july. i get obsessed with it#for like the whole summer. i keep rotating deconstruction in my brain and its like its Not Time Yet but i know soon it will be. rahhhhh
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'Oh I won't cry when the kids leave' well look who's a fucking liar
#summer camp tag#the kids just left they left in waves and that somehow was worse than all of them going at once#'oh i wont get attached' 'oh i wont cry' 'oh i dont want to come back next year' lies lies lies lies#i cant do little kids crying it sets me off every time without fail so really i shouldnt have been surprised but damn#certain kids really set me off that i didnt expect they were more upset than i was expecting which was the issue i think#cant believe camps over it felt like forever and no time at all that theyve been here and now theyre gone
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i'm taking the jlpt this sunday and had a stress dream last night abt it bc it sort of snuck up on me and now it's kind of a question of how much my actual japanese abilities will carry me (versus if i should've been cramming on flashcards this past month) but the listening portion is far simpler conversation than my coworkers and i have so. i think that maybe instead of "damn i should've been studying japanese" my perspective should just be "i speak japanese"
#a key part of the dream though was that i failed because i went on a motorcycle joyride during the 40 minute break and didn't make it back#in time for the listening section. the prompt for the listening section btw was to write an essay in english about kirishima eijirou#so i was like damn i would've totally passed#anyway hashtag classic maya but idk#i think i have a bit of a complex abt it bc i was studying for n1 (highest level) in college#but w the switch to online learning we stopped studying the stuff i really needed to work on (vocab and kanji)#and whatever kanji i knew how to write went out the window bc i never had to turn in written homework again#so i really let myself go there for a good two years but since moving last summer i've not only been having japanese conversations every da#i've also actually been studying kanji in my downtime at work#so i have picked up most of the study guide-type information just really slowly over time#i read a ton of manga in japanese lately and most shows on netflix here don't have eng subtitles but i'm fine without them 95% of the time#with the genre of shows i watch at least#so i've been thinking a lot lately abt what my end goal is w japanese studies because 'be able to consume all the art i want' feels like#a good place to be#i do think in the end the only thing between me and n1 is a lot of genuine hard work studying vocab and kanji and reading serious articles#so i feel like all 'sekkaku da shi' i've made it this far why would i just stop working at this point#those are just my thoughts though aaaa i know reading/vocab/grammar section is way more hit or miss#personal
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i'm still alive i've just lowkey fallen back into my stranger things & hotd era
#every time summer comes around without fail i fall back into my craving 80s aesthetic content lifestyle LMFAOOOO idk why.#also it's hard because with m*ta i don't vibe with 80% of the characters so i just. dont care. about so much of the new content ppl make#HENCE WHY I GOTTA WRITE MY OWN SHIT and im working on it i swear it just takes me like 2 months to finish an 11k fic sorry
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I be getting mad at sitcom couples for taking three seasons to get together as if I’m not currently living out the world’s most frustrating four year long slow burn that might not even end with us ever getting together
#every summer without fail we start flirting and then we almost kiss and then we get amnesia about the whole thing and do it again#we are currently being the most overt we have ever been though so. who knows what could happen#bri speaks
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It's that time of year when it's hot but the wind blows just enough to keep you from sweating too much. The perfect weather before the unrelenting heat of summer arrives.
Which means it's also time I obsessively listen to Alela Diane on repeat while sitting outside in the sun and just imagining a life out in the countryside ,doing labor intensive farm work despite being weak irl lol.
#i'm just rambling#My music taste changing with the seasons is always so funny.#Me during most of the year: I am just here to exist and I'm moderately content with that fact.#Me during this specific time of year: I wanna be buff! I wanna live out in the countryside! With a wife! *Alela Diane plays in the distance#Is this considered like a gender thing???#I guess?#This happens every year without fail and it always makes me laugh.#It's not officially spring/early summer until my brain thinks of this at least once.
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Road commissioners everywhere throughout the US a few weeks ago: So, the new school year is starting soon. Jones, how’s it looking?
Jones: We’ve placed blockades cutting off access to several central roads that lead to most schools in the city. Staff, buses, and cars will all have to find alternative and less convenient routs.
Road commissioner: Wonderful. I anticipate a perfectly chaotic start to the school year.
#what I think about in my spare time#every year without fail#because they couldn’t have gotten it done earlier in the summer
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I NEED TO MOVE OUT NOOWWWWWWW
#i woke up at 3 pm bc this was my 1st day ‘off�� in forever#and when i went to grab something to eat our back door was fully open and my car was nowhere to be found#cat*#so i freaked out and started looking outside but when i realized she wasn’t there and my roommate also wasn’t recently outside#i knocked on her bedroom door and she was like ‘oh sorry i was asleep do you want me to help look’#YES i want you to help look what are you talking about#eventually i found her bc my cat is the best girl in the world and never left our yard- she was in the crawl space under the house#but not only am i pissed she let my car out then took a nap#but we don’t live in the safest city in the world and while we were both sleeping our door was fully 90 degrees open#so now not only do i feel like kevin (cat) isn’t safe here but I don’t feel safe sleeping here anymore#the lease is up in july and i finally get to leave#this girl is a random roommate my former roommate found to replace her#and the whole process/experience has been awful#i just have to survive 4 months#during the summer i might keep paying rent but fully leave and go live with family#bc my school isn’t in driving distance of any of my family#now i’m thinking about asking someone if they’ll take kevin for a couple months bc im so sorry about her#but my dad has a dog that doesn’t love cats and my best friend is allergic and my mom lives in another state#personal#delete later#also this is unrelated BUT every weekend without fail she does laundry at an insane time in the morning#and our washing machine is the loudest washing machine i’ve EVER heard#and of course it’s right against the wall of my room#not hers#i only get two days a week to sleep past 630 am and she almost always ruins it
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for the last 11 years I've been finding new anime by watching "every anime op 2023 summer" compilations and putting a pin in the ones that elicit an emotional responses. they should do that for american tv
#gave gintama a second chance because this one person who did comps would rank its ops at no.1 every time without fail#even when they weren't particularly good imo. 2011 summer op rankings they put samurai heart as honorary nr1
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i need this month to end already, august needs to be wiped off the calendar
#every year without fail august rolls around and my mental health gets beaten to a pulp#granted im insane all year round but august in particular gets me to google brain surgeons in my area#so i can get the lobotomy i deserve#its so funny that im on a two week leave right now so i should relax and recharge#but in reality im just rotting in my room <3 and any other activity is so unappealing to me rn#*rotting and overthinking and spiraling#i cant distract myself - had trouble falling asleep last night and when i did i slept like shit#yaaaaayy summer vacation ✨#i just want to stop caring. i want to win the idgaf war with minimal losses
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i wish the windows in my room had screens so I could open my windows to hear outside sounds and cool off without getting bugs or rain in my room
#the skeleton has spoken#that's the thing with where i live its hot during the day in summer but it actually gets pretty chilly at night#i'm always shivering in the mornings at summer camp#also it rains a lot#then again it rains a lot in every season#except winter actually even with snow we really don't get all that much#like we get snow every year at least once but it's always only a few inches#although i don't live up in the hills like some people they get a bit more plus they get more road freezing#huh i sound old talking about the weather#lowkey fun to analyze though#me make a short post without yapping for at least twice as long in the tags challenge failed yet again
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