#and for some reason what i'm providing them isnt cutting it every time

[yoshistory]

there should be an achievement that pops up over my head the moment i scrape everything that can be scrupt from the internet intersphere about my life.

[theid0loftimeandspace]

I wish I was useful and had a skillset I could turn into an income. Something where I could afford the need to only work part time elsewhere and have a mostly reliable second income. As time goes on the more I realize there isn't much security in working for someone else. I hate having to rely on someone else for income and my well-being in exchange for the autonomy over my life, schedule, and in some instances up for debate-- body. After the pandemic changing a lot of things in the economy (for the worse) and being laid off twice, employers becoming increasingly flakey and dishonest.... I just don't think selling my soul to a corporation for 25 years to MAYBE earn an adequate retirement savings that's vulnerable to market/bank crashes and inflation is really the best option anymore. As far as I see it if I'm fucked regardless I may as well as crash and burn trying to do something myself. What would I even do. Sell more landfill fodder that wont even break even? Go back to school for a monkey degree and pray it will get me a job this time that I'm going to inevitably hate? You can see that there are good and services people want, but what could the average person reasonably provide without commodifying the fuck out of it and ending up burnt out? There are things I could go to school for that are logical but I know I'm not cut out for them. They may not be relevant and useful by the time I'm done like what happening to graphic design degrees. You hear of people managing to make a decent living off things like knitting stuff and selling on Etsy. A lot of the times they are supported by a second income.

There HAS to be an alternative way to get extra income that isnt gig work like Uber. Call me a spoiled brat, but I don't see a life worth living as working 5 days a week for some asshole to never be able to afford having a normal life of a reasonable quality. I don't care if I get a one week paid vacation or ALLOWED family/sick leave. Or insurance that costs just as much through my employer as it does buying it privately. I will never be selfish enough to bring children into this world so this stuff is mostly pointless to me. I don't want to spend my 'best' years doing this shit. I don't want this for anyone. No one should have to do this anymore. If this is my fate and destiny I will certainly kill myself. This isn't a life worth living. I have seen people like my mother and grandmother, trapped in the corporate workforce, for whatever reason, and how sad and unhealthy they all turn out. My grandma retired, still had to work a few days a week to afford to live, and died less than 2 years later. So many people die right after they retire and still can't afford a full retirement. I'm not playing this game. I want to live now. All I think about is how I'm going to get out of this and somehow support myself. When I have a job its "How I'm going to find something better?", or how much I hate this current job, and I look at my checks and see how it will never be enough despite all that time I sold. It is ALL I've thought about since 2020 losing my one and only stable job since, as hard as it was. My location makes it worse because decent paying work just simply doesn't exist within a reasonable transit for me. I can't hope to afford to relocate. I understand what I have to do, but its the skills I don't have. What I have I don't even know how to use. It is becoming so painful that I will have to do something even if I'm just spinning my tires AGAIN.

Working itself doesn't bother me. I get its a part of life. When the job is a decent one and there is work-life balance, its fine. I've worked two jobs in my life where I actually content to be there, its possible to LIKE your job. The irony is these were the two jobs I ended up being laid off from unfortunately. Working for someone else becomes miserable to the point of suffering when it consumes your every waking moment. Its when the environment is high stress, scheduling is bad, coworkers/management are needlessly assholes, and pay is shit compared to what you are required to put in, and you just resent what you do. It is so hard to find good work now. I'm tired of this rollercoaster of uncertainty. I don't want to do it anymore. I had one job recently I REALLY wanted. I ACTUALLY wanted this job, it made me excited at the thought. I was totally qualified for it even! Everything about it worked. I even got in the first round of interviews. Then I didn't get it. Its like, ok if I have to work for someone else can I at least like the job? No? Ok. I'm just so done with this losing game called life. I want to do something about it but then I'm reminded I cant because I don't have money. I want a beautiful life. LET ME LIVE.

[dragonclaude]

I got a big ask by @isdisorigionalenoughforyou about little details of my Action game AU and I decided to dedicate a few sketches to it!

Question 2 is a reference to this older drawing, and if you'd like to see more about the AU checkout my pinned post for a quick link tree!

As usual, longer answers under the cut, enjoy!

There is a non-zero possibility that Togami corp has an entertainment room with a karaoke machine and card games/board games to play with others during moments of relaxation. Makoto, Hina, Yasuhiro and Kyoko could be options for their own solo songs and also there would be at least a duet in there with you and Hina. Making the rest of the game would be priority and I would only do something like this if there’s enough money and resources left over but y’know xD I wouldn’t want to add distractions like the Despair Karaoke places during the combat-focused sections; It would mean I’d have to consider something like that for every other remnant or else it would be……weird to choose only Ibuki for that. But maybe postgame she would welcome the challenge or something, who knows!

Stat bonuses, no, but I have been thinking for a while about them giving you a slightly different fighting style. Monokuma outfit starts off with claws and you fight more animalistically, Anniversary outfit starts with metal fans and you do more dodgy/graceful movements. The only problem is there's not really a reason sakura couldn't have different fighting styles on default except for the fact we may run out of buttons to be able to use them all xD But I LOVE the suggestion of each giving a minor change like hearing the monokumas or making the songs a rock cover.

I don't think there would be a traditional fishing minigame with a rod and actual fish but you will be able to find harpoons/hooks with ropes that you can pick up as weapons that could also be used in that way. There is no doubt going to be large holes or chasms in the ground that you could send a hook down and see what you get. Maybe a Monosalmon or something could be caught then thrown to distract Monokumas like Siren monokumas in UDG xD (But also, you’re absolutely right, every good game has a fishing minigame so this should be no exception)

I agree, I think that's what I'm going to decide on for Nagitos fight in the end! But there is no way Sakura is going to bring him to other fights especially after seeing how dangerous his luck is when bringing him back to base. Nagito is an SCP needing to be contained xD As for linearity, I think all the remnants will be divided in clusters of "early" "middle" and "late" with Imposter being the last that isnt Izuru that you could do in the order you want. Sonia will be a special case in which her fight is scheduled for a certain time in the late-game and you can either wait until then or go after some remnants before going to Novoselic.

Since there would be abandoned supermarkets all around, you would be able to grab ingredients for protein shakes, tea or coffee to make at the base and bring with you like a health and stamina potion. I didn't think it could have a minigame attached to it but now I want there to be xD Perhaps you could brew your potions mix protein shakes of various ingredients so you can personalize your healing item. For example, maybe some ingredients provide slightly longer focus time, higher health, healing over time etc. and you can create a drink to provide either purely one effect or mix of several for your upcoming mission depending on what you think you need. Could be cool!

[effervescentdragon]

i agree that you seem great for fic recs so I wondered if you have any nico r fic recs? i’d really like to see him as more than just a background character as Lewis’ toxic ex <3

hi anon! thank you so much for this ask, i was gonna do it yday but i was way too drained, so thank you for waiting! i do have some nico fic recs, coming under the cut! as usual, mind the ratings and warnings yourself, bcs i'm mostly providing my own feedback and feelings about these fics! :) i'm picking the ones that stayed in my mind pretty much rent free. <3

-

again, first, ultimate, absolute winner about characterisation in my eyes is @kritischetheologie and Everybody Wants To Rule The World. it's the fic that made me completely unhinged, one of the best, morally grey, insanely well written fics out there, which i adore with my whole heart. it's a Seb/Nico, which i was very sceptical about, but damn was i proven wrong! some of the best, most in-depth characterisation and understanding of subject matter i've ever seen in my life. C's blog is also generally a well of Nico content, with musings and writings, and i have been getting my Nico fix there for quite some time now. it helps that C is very much Nico-like and i love her for it <3

kelogg's frosties & video games by @georgerussells - brocedes my beloved, alt '22 season, absolutely insanely well written (all of their fics are, ive read ALL of them, i should do it again). i love how nico is here, it's all told from lewis' pov but its raw, and just so in character, and wonderful. its the first brocedes fic i found and one of the reasons i fell down the rabbit hole. i adore it and rec it with my whole heart <3 (check out their crown series and the yt au series, i love those!)

high speed weekend survivor by @denialricciardo - nico/danny ric. may be one of my all time favorites, EVER. its an university au, and it's perfect. like, absolutely perfectly written, the author manages to literally effortlessly paint nico's character and all the little nuances, the technical talk is fascinating, everything about this fic just makes me so, so happy. i love it. <3

the torture of small talk with someone you used to love by finedae is a nico-focused fic ive read like 3 days ago and can't stop thinking about. i promised to leave them a comment soon when i get my brain right, but what i can say is that its. effortlessly funny and tragic in the same breath, lovely writing style, absolutely adore everything about it, how much they show despite it seeming to be just tell, it really isnt. peak characterisation. wholehearted rec. i love it. <3

the weight of the world we are holding by fadeoutslow is a 5+1 kisses fic with jenson/nico endgame that i think very much manages to perfectly encapsulate the characters of every single one person mentioned despite being so short (this is me wishing for more not a criticism) which is so fucking admirable. i love it. also, the world is changed because you are made is peak perfection (as is nico's ass, that's all im gonna say). :)

hot as hell by vandoorne is one of the hottest things i've ever read, and it's so effortlessly funny and just manages to get both nicos and jensons characters through. i love it very, very much. it's a witch/succubi&incubi au btw, so mind that :)

Roseberg's vs Haminkton by dearest @jean----ralphio is a florist/coffee shop au that made me laugh out loud when i thought i was never going to laugh (dramatic, i know), and something i re-read whenever i just want to feel warm around my heart and be happy. (thank you for that again friend!) <333

and finally, I'm going to put my own fic here - Vielleicht, Vielleicht. a jenson/nico angst fest (which is getting a sequel from nico's pov due to popular demand and me being incapable of shutting up sometime soon i think) about their relationship throughout the years, non-linearly. because i can :)

thank you for asking, i hope these help and that you like them!

[tigerdrop]

I like how you interpret benrey as a guy who just wants love and affection. A lot of people tend to forget that despite benreys weirdness, before Gordon came along apparently benrey was friends with almost all his coworkers and let them come over and play games. During gmans confrontation with Gordon, benrey interupts and harrases gman (a very SCARED gman) for his playstation information. And at the end of it, when gman leaves, benrey grumbles about how he just wants to play games with people. I'm pretty sure the only person benrey can't figure out is Gordon. Because benrey got along pretty well with everybody else except Gordon. People say that Yeah benrey gets along with science team bc they are also supernatural, but not everybodys supernatural at black mesa? There's at least some humans that have gotten along with benrey. An obvious answer: Gordon gives a lot of mixed signals and also over reacts A LOT. it foils benreys weirdness, makes it more obvious. Gordon points out things that Yeah, makes benrey seem strange. To anyone else, benrey is just a chill dude. To gordon, benrey is a cosmic entity thing that wont leave him alone. And I'm also not saying benrey isn't weird, or doesn't understand things sometimes. But if benrey did have a lot of friends like he said he did, then he must've done something right! Gordon is like a lil messed up guy! Jumps to the worst conclusions all the time, And with benreys chill attitude or impassive tone, that of course would clash with someone like Gordon. Which is what makes them interesting to write. Makes them interesting to explore their dynamic in many ways I think

god i love getting asks like these. benrey is genuinely a pretty normal guy, weird eldritch powers notwithstanding.....like, him getting along with the other AIs isnt really a consequence of them all having weird abilities, like you said. tommy and darnold dont even have anything fantastical going on! theyre both just normal guys......at worst, benreys awkward toward others. gordons the only one he pushes around, and he only seems to push gordon around b/c gordon initiated an antagonistic relationship by being unable to provide his passport (and then immediately doing his gordon thing of "being belligerent and rude for super flimsy reasons)

this exact point is what i try to drive home in this latest chapter of co-op game theory: benreys awkward and absentminded and, yeah, a little weird, but to an observer that isnt gordon, his behaviors pretty straightforward. he threw a shitfit b/c gordon was being super fucking rude to him from the moment alyx met them! and she may not have known exactly why he jumped to (what seemed to be) the nuclear option, but gordons not even self aware enough to realize that hes being a major asshole. and the reasons he gives for acting that way only make sense to him! to anybody else, theyre borderline incomprehensible

but like.....if youre looking at it through gordons eyes, like youre basically forced to do by virtue of the first-person POV in hlvrai, its hard to see a perspective beyond "benrey is a freak and a jerk and a bonafide Bad Guy". which is why im having a lot of fun looking at them from every other characters' perspective

gordon might have a point that benreys done some bad stuff, but if it was all just a game/simulation, by his own admission......how do you justify that enmity to someone else? sure, he cut off your arm (in the thing that you freely admit isnt real, and is just a simulation), but you killed him. you won. isnt that enough?

its neat stuff and i know i talk about basically the same shit ad infinitum but thats why i like writing them so much!

[survivorbouvetisland]

Episode #4/5: “I'm just lying and making a big deal about things because it is funny”- Bodhi

Bodhi

I don't know what is even happening I'm just lying and making a big deal about things because it is funny

Roxy

Im aolot inactive. Lmfoa

the serious confessioanl didnt uplod :/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NesmOdGOnX4

Lol thibis eric's org

Trixie 

If all goes as planned, Shea is gone! We purposely threw the comp to get you out. I just wanna say it's nothing against you as a person, I would have loved to work with you but we all felt you were going to be a problem later on so we had to send you home now. 

I feel really bad that I had to vote Zack out especially with him being a newbie. I also feel awful not letting Roxy in on our alliance. Hopefully with merge she can join us. She really doesn't deserve to get voted off so soon.

So we threw the comp yet again and it worked - Zack is out. I would have liked to work with him but I knew he'd be a vote for the other side once we merged. Nehe's voting confessional for him was BRUTAL. It makes me scared if I ever got a vote from him. We had yet another tribe swap, back to 3 teams again. I travelled through tribes and landed on Skua with basically all my alliance minus Austin. I hope he manages to stay safe so when merge comes we can reunite as the Outsiders. 

I wonder who Adelie is gonna send home, huh?

QuilLynn 

I feel bad blindsiding shea tonight, i genuinely like him and would have liked to work with him. I think the tribe swap fucked him over a bit because he picked people who were already closley aligned (like nehe+trixie, austin+zack) for me right now the safe and smart thing to do is take out shea. I do want austin gone soon though, because once we merge he'll be a huge threat because he has connections on both sides.

so that immunity was a mess. The day started out good, tribal went as planned and we got out shea and going into the new immunity we thought we stood a chance and were genuinely going to try to win, however, knowing that bodhi and kelsey are probably on the bottom of that tribe and would be possible numbers for our alliance come merge we decided to throw it and take out Zack who we believe to be a number for skua. Austin has it out for jay it seems and is looking to take out his numbers and I think he actually thinks he's running things and making the decisions. Thats fine he can think whatever he wants, but it was trixie  and I who made the Shea blindside happen and saved his ass. We OMG INSTANT TRIBAL BRB

This instant might come back to bite me in the ass rip, its messy and people still haven't voted and I think austin thinks i'm voting him

I think roxy is really buying my "innocent newcomer" act right now that i'm using to cover my ass for this zack vote. I'm hoping i can get out of this still with the trust of all my tribe members. If i had to pick one to go next it would be Ali, because that rat went to austin saying I voted him... We'll see what the future holds

This new skua tribe is the perfect stiuation! I have trixie who is my #1 in this game, nehe who i'm closely aligned with and roxy who thinks were together 100%. I really want to win these upcomong challenges because I feel like there will only be one or two votes before we merge and I want all four of us on this new new skua to make it! It would break my heart to vote roxy at this point as we already blindsided her twice at tribals and she still trusts us, so i'm really hoping it doesn't come down to that. I'm also hoping for another clue, since i have one from skua before I think getting a second clue would really help my chances of finding one of these fucking idols!

Once again my team won, I mean so far this whole game I've only been on a losing team if we threw the challenge. I know i'm going to look like a threat come merge but i'm kinda looking forward to it. I'm hoping I can still use my innocent newbie "idk what i'm doing" act to get people to trust me, but I know eventually they'll want to take me out. I feel after this challenge our "outsiders" alliance from albatross will be over. Austin only got 10 points in the challenge so odds are he'll be taken out next, and if he's not then I'd take that as a sign that he joined the other side and if thats the case we'll have no use for him. Part of me is hoping that adelie takes him out tonight that way we don't have to do the dirty work later, but unfortunately I think that comes with the price of losing a jury vote. 

also, nehe is really pissing me off. If we lose the next immunity idgaf about the alliance at this point I like roxy more right now and I'd send his ass home.

The tribe chat is fun and all but... Roxy, girl. Sometimes it's a bit much. Jokes  and sarcasm just flies over her little aussie head. God bless.

Jacob 

Austin be throwin'? I played the challenge for less than an hour and I still got a better score. I hope he doesn't have an idol.

Shea

Aint shit

Austin 

:)

Rig-gate is real huh

Lily 

honestly i dont even know whats going on right now. we swapped? thats cool. we're not going to tribal? rad. honestly like if i got voted out next round i dont know if i'd care that much this premerge is just so chill for whatever reason its like my natural habitat

Andrew

I think Ali is a robot. Also lily and I are lookin for an idol™

Ali

I need to merge next I don't trust these hoes

Kelsey 

My goodness...after that disaster of a video challenge, I was truly blessed to stay. I had never really had the opportunity to connect with anyone and Regan basically eliminating herself was...luck, dear, it was luck XD But then a scadulous tribe swap happens and I'm even LUCKIER!!! With a tribe of four, I feel like we totally could just slay the house down and all four people are people I'm able to bond with over something quickly. Jay was super on the Regan boat and knows that I'm not the best with speaking with people, as was the other snake picture. And Austin says he's rather close to Jay, so I'm feeling rather good if we go to tribal, not that we wi- oh, we already lost, ok. Austin says he would love to work with Jacob and I and to eliminate Jay, which doesn't sound the most predictable, but at this point in the competition, I've never made it to the top thirteen and I usually mess it up for myself when get too involved with voting and being gung ho. This time, maybe I can just take a deep breath and survive past another one...apparently, there is this "plan" to convince Austin that I'm going home which makes the pit in my stomach advance even further but...it can't be helped. I could be making top TWELVE. TWELVE!!!! I've got to just take a deep breath, close my eyes, and jump off the bridge. Let's hope I land in foam~! And THAT'S all there is to it! Bon Apetit, beh-bay~ Kelsey Mikaelson

Zack

I have had Nehe and Austin approach me for a solid three. However, I have also been approached with a solid three person alliance with Trixie and Quillyn. If I can get this group to final five, I think I would be sitting pretty. Unfortunately, that means I have to turn on my alliance I've had from day one with Shea, Roxy, and Ali. But Ali and I have talked and he's going to jump ship with me. 

So, I've had Ali, Austin, and Nehe all trying to subtly convince me to trust the others of the three. It quickly became apparent that they're all working together, or at the very least, Austin has them both wrapped around his finger. Austin also mentioned Bodhi and Jay being numbers for him on the other side. Having everyone on my tribe trust me, I realize that this is my opportune moment to make a game-changing move and flipping the vote on Austin. I convinced Trixie and Quillynn (who have offered me an alliance for the time being) that if we want to succeed at all, we need to split up these three. More specifically, take Austin out because he seems to be the main tie for all of these people. Take out the kingpin, the rest will scatter. With Roxy still trusting me over everyone else, we should have just enough votes to take Austin out. I don't like sitting around, doing what I'm told, and waiting to be taken out in the final six. So sorry, Austin. I really hope you're out this week.

Jay

Regan is going to straight up murder me for voting her out, but sorry. You blew up on Kelsey, you're going home. Sorry not sorry. Also you're just gonna vote with Austin every vote and we can't have him having more power than me :)

Hey guys! This might be my last confessional in this game. So, Austin says he has an idol and that he's playing it. So like, I decided that I'm just gonna go for voting him. The thing is, if me, Jacob, and Kelsey stick strong, and he plays an idol, one of us go. HOWEVER, provided it's not me, whoever is left from Kelsey and Jacob is still trusting of me. Which would not be the case if i threw a vote onto Kelsey and Jacob left. Tribal is starting now. Good luck to me I hope things go well.

Nicholas 

hi so im trying to win this paintball challenge so my ass doesnt get voted off. i feel like for the first time ever in a survivor game i dont fit in with my tribe and like they are going to cut me the first chance they get. oh well i guess we will see what happens. its time to shoot some bitches

Nehemiah 

So now i'm on the albatross tribe and you can say that I'm on the bottom but actually theres people on the tribe I trust. Trixie and Ali are instant ride or die homies in my opinion and so is Austin. After I helped us win the lip sync with my amazing talent Trixie and Quillyn wants to have an alliance with me and Austin as we are the outside forces I am 100% fine with this. But Ali isnt with the other side he's with me and Austin. So this is also good if we go to a tribal. So i'm set up pretty nicely.

We have decided to throw the challenge to get out Shea. I personally have no connection to shea in the form that I didn't care if we threw the challenge. The outsiders alliance of me, QuilLyn, Trixie, and Austin is definitely off to a good start. We got shea to vote Austin and Ali is on board to vote Shea. I'm in a good spot when it comes to everything. I don't know how I'm going to fare going forward in the game but I do think I'm in a very good spot and I know how to speak to people. Zack was doing the challenge all by himself. We tried to throw it and he just wouldn't but to be fair he didn't know. So i had to talk him into throwing and getting out Shea leading on the idea that if he does so Austin and me would work with him. Everything should be good tonight.

The outsiders threw yet another tribal so we can get out Zack.

After our tribal of blindsiding Zack there was in our guts either a tribe swap or merge. As you can see it was a tribe swap and ironically I ended up on a tribe with my 2 fellow Outsiders and Roxy. I lied to Roxy the previous vote but I don't wanna loose that relationship just yet. There's a good chance my new tribe can win immunity and not have to vote off Roxy but if such things happen we are 3-1 and we have the ammunition to take aim. I only fear for out other votes that we need secure which that is being Bodhi, Ali, Kelsey, and Austin. I need all 4 of them to stay safe but I have a smart feeling that ain't gonna happen. But I still stand on what I said last time in that I'm in a good spot and I don't have to do much bullshit or manipulating just yet. I showed I can be sneaky as well as cutthroat when I need to be but I'm good for now.