#and half of the rivalry i talked about aren't good

[athanwritesthings]

Fall Out || Fem!Reader [Izabella Bardot] x Damian Priest - Pt. 1

A/N: *snickers* all I had in brain was angst and with the ideas I got, it'll make perfect for this to be long and to have continuations. Expect another part or two in the next couple days after I get to requests. Have fun!

Word Count: 1,596

Summary: You've always been the one to cause issues, finding the solace in making your opponents and rivals second guess or become over-emotional. You tangle yourself into a rivalry with Rhea as your team feuded with the men of TJD, and in turn, always managing to find a way to get under their skin, especially Damian's. At least, you hoped you would... All (permanent) characters in Pt. 1: Izabella Bardot [Main character] Grayson Waller, Randy Orton, Kevin Owens, Rhea Ripley, Dominik Mysterio, Finn Balor, Damian Priest.

It was another Monday Night Raw, another night listening to my teammates talk and bicker in my locker room as I pull my boots up, tying them as I listened to them. I sit up a few moments later, leaning my elbows on my knees, looking up to the three of them.

For as much as they bickered, they worked well together, even with them being extremely hotheaded and easy to anger. With this little bickering session, Grayson stood between Randy and Kevin as they argued, always acting as their mediator.

This was apparently their way of figuring out how we wanted to deal with the Judgement Day. As if we weren't equipped with the tools to do so already. Leaning back in my chair, I cross my arms, just listening to Randy and Kevin's arguments.

As much they fought about little things like this, you'd think I'd honestly find them annoying. That'd be quite the opposite. I found it comical, always having a smile broken out on my face as I'd watch on. I made it a thing to step in if it went way too long, of course, just so they'd divert their attention back to the match - and actually not waste energy on yelling each others head off.

After a few good minutes of listening to them, and Grayson shooting me a pleading look for help, I finally speak up. "Hey. We're not here to continuously fight or bicker with each other." Kevin goes to open his mouth again, but I tilt my head slightly from where I sat. He stopped before even starting, a small snort leaving Randy, who also quieted after seeing the look on my face.

Grayson, once the two other men hushed, looked to me, his brows furrowing slightly. "Ya gonna be out there with us at ringside, right?" I roll my eyes slightly, even though his tone was one of worry. Standing up, I walk over, my shoulder leaning into Randy's arm a bit. His arm snakes around my shoulders, my eyes staying on Grayson.

"I always am, aren't I?"

I could see the nerves that had Grayson in a vice grip, as all four of us stood in the gorilla. He had never been the type to be so nervous, always noted as the other, mostly, level headed member of the group. Kevin must've seen and registered this too, his hand giving Grayson a reassuring clap on the shoulder, a half smile pulling at the corner of his lips.

Randy's frame seemingly towered over me as he stood behind me, wrapping wrist tape around his wrists and hands. His gaze, after what felt like a good few minutes of drilling into the back of my head, looks to Grayson. "You'll be good. We're gonna be out there with you." Always blunt and to the point, Randy was.

A faint smile crossed Grayson's face nonetheless with the reassurance from us. The smile slowly fades for a split second as Kevin's theme goes first, hearing the crowds almost deafening cheers as soon as it hit, and he came out. Following suite a few seconds later, Grayson goes out with his theme, meeting Kevin at the stage.

You'd expect it not to be such a loud pop whenever Randy's theme would play, but the crowd always proved you wrong. At that point, with my first step out to the gaze of the crowd, I threw my gimmick on, a wide, yet sly smile on my face as I walked out with Randy. His fingers were intertwined with mine, before letting them go after a few seconds as I walked out in front of him a couple steps, him following me.

It didn't take me long to look away from the crowd around us as we made our way to the ring, my gaze connecting with Damian for a split second, before sliding over to Rhea, who stood in ring with the three other members of Judgement Day. One would think she'd kill with the looks she doled out to others.

I lift my hand, waving with my fingers to her, and partially to Damian, Finn and Dominik's eyes fixated on the other three in my group. Damian's jaw was set, an almost permanent seeming scowl on his face, ever since we walked out.

His shoulders rolled back, ripping his eyes from me as Randy let me up the stairs first, Kevin following suite behind him, Grayson electing a different way up, pulling himself to stand up on the ringside.

A little laugh leaves my closed lips, ropes opened for me by Randy. Damian's eyes didn't dare look back at me again, my mission seemingly being effective up to this point in time. Getting under Rhea, Damian, Finn and Dominik's skin, had been a total success so far.

Perhaps my mission had been more than a total success. With the ref not looking, and with Randy and Kevin off the apron and on the ground after Dom and Finn attacked them as Damian went for his finisher to reach the matches end, I pulled Damian off Grayson, canceling the pin just as the ref went for the three count. A grin, and a laugh as a look of complete surprise and anger crossed his face. "What the fuck?" Was all that he let out, his voice an angered yell.

Rhea, just as she looked at the crowd, a smile on her face as she counted along, had missed me pulling Damian off. I wave, once again, my fingers at him, an innocent smile on my face. That had been wiped off my face quick, seeing him move quick as he slid out of the ring fully, fully deciding to chase me then.

A look of fear flashed in my eyes as I took the initiative to run, making sure to run towards where Randy and Kevin were.

As soon I passed Randy, who was already standing up, his body blocked Damian from passing him. "Touch her, and you're dead." When I heard this, I knew it was safe to stop and turn. I laugh lightly, a grin on my face once again.

"Oh, so sorry about that! I didn't mean to do that." My grin still on my face, as I watch Damian, scoffing, his gaze on me for a few seconds. With my eyes on him, I kneel to Kevin, who's sitting up now, on his way to standing. "Get Dom and Finn dealt with, you two."

Randy, looking to Kevin when he called his name, easily registered the look on Kevin's face, as Damian turned to get in the ring before getting counted out. Grayson, on the opposing side of the ring, watched, as he leaned against the middle rope, on one knee.

All it took was Damian to look at me one last time when he got into the ring, then seeing his team taken down from ringside, and Grayson capitalizing on the distraction, hitting Damian with the Rolling Thunder Stunner, and getting the one… two… three count!

Rhea, who was already screaming her head off at Damian, stared in complete shock, with her hands almost resting on her head, before she stuck her hands out at the ref. Grayson, rolling out of the ring, had a huge smile on his face. I ran up, Kevin and Randy following, all three of us smiling. Grayson's arm rested around my shoulders, one of my hands resting on his back, as we walked backwards, the crowd cheering loudly.

Back in my locker room, I packed my duffel bag, my face slack and not full of any emotion, except showing off how tired I had been. I was ready to go to the hotel room. Rest assured, I was due to see someone from TJD as soon as I walked out, all before Randy got back from his locker room.

Sure enough, with my luck, when I opened my locker room door, Rhea and Damian stood a few feet away from me, Damian's arms crossed over his chest, Rhea's hands in her pockets. "Finally coming out of her cave, hm?" Was all I was greeted with from Rhea first.

I snort, as I look the both of them over. "Upset about your match results? Didn't like the taste of your own medicine?" Damian's arms drop as he walks over, his 6 ft 5 in height towering over me like Randy. Yet there was a different feeling to him than Randy. Maybe it was the aura or vibe he gave off.

Damian's eyes trailed me up and down with an unhappy look, crossing my own arms as I leaned back slightly. "You are meddling with the wrong people, chica. If I were you, I'd call my guard dogs off before it becomes a huge regret of yours down the line." His voice was gruff, yet the look in his eyes didn't match up with how he sounded.

"Matter of fact... Next Monday. I'll bury you so far into the ground, perhaps they will back off." Rhea states as she steps up too, an unbelieving laugh leaving my closed lips as I looked at them with an incredulous glint to my eyes.

I didn't think much of it. I never really did. As long as they were boiling because of me... that was all that truly mattered to me in the first place. I watch them leave with one last look, before I go off to find Randy, Grayson and Kevin.

I never told them about the interaction between Rhea, Damian and I...

(to be continued...)

[mchlgayser]

𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐄𝐍 ft izana kurokawa

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: The gang leader of your boyfriend's rivalry team to a liking to you, his queen.

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: angst to fluff / ( ☆ )

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: yandere theme, jealousy, possessive and obsession, violence, languages, and death threat

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: HELLO! OMG, first of all, I am freaking out (not really) because I don't know how well this is gonna turn out. After all, it's been so long since I last made a one-shot with yandere themes! The last one was Shidou Ryusei's from Blue lock. But it wasn't gonna be half as gore (I think?) as this one! Hopefully, it was okay BUT let me know what you think in the comment! Happy reading xx (E/T known as eye types)

You were in the kitchen eating breakfast when your boyfriend came in 'Hey,' You bid eyeing up from the bowl of milk and cereal towards him. He got out a glass and poured cold water, chugging it down. 'I gotta go, Kakucho called and there'll be a meeting!' He kisses the crown of your head before he left the estate.

You blink a few times looking back at the spot he was at and the front door not far from the kitchen hall. You shrug continue eating, your acrylic nail made a tapping sound against the phone as you scroll using your other hand.

It was late, nearly a quarter of one but still no sign of your boyfriend. Izana was supposed to be exactly thirty minutes ago, max but here you are waiting for him yet the half-Filipino guy never made it back home until a phone call erupted the spacious hall.

'Where are you?'

'Hey, lovey, I don't think I'll be back tonight. There's been a mistake at work and I need to get it done. Kakucho will drop by to get you some food-' The passcode on the door is punched open and the sight of the scarred male arrived.

'He's here, see you!' You hung up the call and get the plastic bag from Kakucho 'Woah, this is a lot!'

'Izana asked me to get an extra, as an apology...' You huff, eyes on the heavy plastic bag 'Would you mind accompanying me?' He was reluctant but nodded nonetheless. 'You get this ready, I'm gonna bring us some fine wine!' You singsong as you skip to the wine restoring cabinet and get the finest wine, the one you got on your birthday.

Kakucho sat on the medium-sized couch whilst you sat on the main couch, getting comfortable 'But don't Izana have works for you?' You asked away, pouring down the wine into his wine cup. He shake his head 'I was done for the night, Izana is occupied because a new gang was requested to do private business with us.' You wiggle your brow at him 'Really, I guess that's why he was so busy the rest of the week.' He hums and bottoms up the drink while you did the same 'Ahh, this is so good! Here!' You gave him the whole bottle and smile lazily 'You should hide or throw it while you can, Izana will be pissed if he knows I drink more than a cup!' You hiccuped

'Already?' Kakucho chuckles and puts aside the wine, away from you. 'But the gang you was talking about, who are they?' He looks up from you, one brow furrowing 'Why do you want to know? Do you even know other gangs other than Tenjiku?' You pout at him 'Izana told me all of his business partners, I wanna know if I know this one!' You hiccup once more. Kakucho walks out to the kitchen to grab a water bottle and handed it to you.

'They're Doncan. Do you know them?' You gulp the drink and wipe off the access from the corner of your mouth 'Oh them - but aren't they like you guys, rivalry?' He handed you a proper napkin once he speaks up 'A new gang formed, and surprisingly gained lots of members in a few months. They wanted to take out the two top Japanese drug organizations. We had no choice but to join hands. It's a win-win situation anyway.' He shrugs gulping down another cup of wine. You look at the half-full glass with lust.

'I want more drink!' You snapped out of your thoughts and slap your face 'Easy Y/n if you hurt yourself I will be responsible for it. You know how Izana is...' You sigh in contempt, laying down on the couch with a faint thud 'My boyfriend is so dreamy! Always putting me first.' Your eyes hooded and sleepy 'You should sleep. I will take care of you until Izana's home.' You hum patting his arm through his suit and yawning 'Thank you Kakucho!'

The sun barely set when you woke up in bed, neatly tucked and hair tied just how you liked it. Your head was a bit sore from liquoring up so you got up but a light nudge held you back. You spun your head around seeing Izana in his sleeping attire with his glasses on and a laptop on his lap. His one hand was around your neck and collarbone while his other hand was used to scroll the sensor. 'You scared me!' You revealed as you turn your body around and went to hug him 'What time is it?'

'Barely seven.' He answered eyes never leaving the screen. He turns to you for a moment plastering a chaste kiss on your side temple 'I'm going to work at eight, not gonna be as busy as the other day so I was wondering if you want to follow me?' Your eyes lighted up, it's been so long - one week since you visited or even set foot inside the building.

'Sure, wake me up when it's time to go!' He hums petting your shoulder and caressing it.

You and Izana arrived at his workplace. The guards lined up already waiting for his arrival. You two got arms lined together as you two strode together inside the entrance.

'Ryo Yamada is inside your office room.' Informed Kakucho, stealing a glance and a quick smile your way. You two went inside the elevator accompanied by three of his men into the room. Two of them waited outside the door and you three get inside.

A man probably around your age neatly sit on the leather couch. His Rolex watch flexing inside the dimmed light room. 'There you are! And I see you bought one of your bitch.'

'Be careful how you speak, this is my fiancé.' Despite feeling stunned by the man's remark, you have a shake with him 'Y/n L/n.' He gladly took your hand placing a gentle kiss on your knuckle 'The pleasure is mine, Ryo Yamada.' Izana tears his face away from you and scoff 'Stand far from my missus, Ryo.' The man laughed, both of his hands beside his head.

'Chill Kurokawa, I won't devour the lady... Yet.' Izana was ready to pounce and forget about all this shitty assists from his gang but you held him back.

'It's okay,' He cooled down, adjusting his tie, and have a seat with the man in front of him, you at the side, half-listening.

Izana was not blind. He could see the look Ryo was giving you. That infamous dirty stare he laid upon his victims. Izana being Izana, he would've killed that man with a snap of his finger but every time you held his hand and assure him, he'll just sigh and try to cool his head down. Key Word: Try.

'Aw, come on don't try so hard and be so lovey-dovey! I might die because of jealousy!' He scowls lowly, eyes hooded over your figure. The tanned hand of Izana had reached for his back pocket where he kept his gun. One wrong move again and he'll shoot without hesitation.

'Now business aside,' He man-spread on the chair, hands over his knees with his eyes bore from you to Izana then back to you 'How long have you two known each other?'

'That was none of your' - He was cut by you 'We met in 2005. Izana just got released from juvenile and he was with my brother. Izana calls it 'Love at the first glance.' You chuckle tearing your eyes from Ryo to Izana to see he had already looked at you. That sharp purple eyes of his relaxed in you.

'That's cringe.' His pupils diverted. Hell no, Izana won't let anyone, he means anyone and not even Kakucho to insult how he fell in love with you. It wasn't cringe or drama-like. It was Izana Kurokawa falling in love with you. No matter what, he won't take comments about how he fell in love with you. His haven and his majesty.

His gaze turns from you to Ryo. A fast motions whistle and a scream erupted inside the soundproof room. Ryo was shot right in the knee. His knee busted open out from his expensive slack. A painful agony scream erupts once more. His eyes were bloodshot.

'F'ckin hell! That hurts!' Izana eyes weren't quiver even one bit. His eyes were steady and plain. 'One wrong move again. And I'll make not to miss that thick skull head of yours.' He planted the gun to his forehead mimicking the 'Bang' sound 'You should've thought about the worst consequences before you came barking at my queen, you pathetic loser.'

'Fuck this useless negotiation. With your gang or without, Tenjiku will remain at the top. You and all that shitty gangs below us can fucking rot in hell.' He finished opening up the door as Ryo's guards rush inside. A blood war was incoming but by that time, Kakucho had made sure to put you and Izana back inside the car and to your mansion.

'That scumbag.' You sighed bringing Izana into a hug. Your hand fished inside your purse to grab a pack of tissue wiping off the warm blood stained off his cheeks and lips.

'He won't get his way with you.' He scoops you in his arms earning a small yelp from you, but once you relaxed you laugh 'He won't. Never will.' Noses touching. His eyes find their way to your E/T ones.

[ponett]

I have now finally seen the Mario movie. It was Pretty Good. Here are my wordy thoughts on it. (I am going to spoil the entire movie. Duh.)

In many ways, the Mario movie does what I wish the first Sonic movie had done. They just took the characters and the premise and the world from the games, and made it a straightforward animated adventure movie. It's bright and colorful and remixes things JUST enough to include fun elements from multiple games, and it doesn't make Mario get adopted by James Marsden or whatever. It even has the music!

That's all you really need, right? Right...?

I'll get this out of the way up front. Chris Pratt was fine. He's fine

If anything, it really feels like they did the movie a disservice by letting us hear so little of the Mario voice in the previews. It took one scene for Pratt to disappear into the role for me. It was totally fine. If anything, I found Charlie Day's normal voice coming out of Luigi WAY more distracting, even if I did like him in the role.

Everyone else was pretty good, for the most part. Jack Black was obviously very good as Bowser, but I'm biased. Seth Rogen does the Seth Rogen laughs as Donkey Kong, but I thought DK was fun, too. (I liked his little rivalry with Mario where he was just constantly giving him shit.) The only casting choice I truly hated was Fred Armisen as Cranky Kong. I hated every line that came out of his mouth. He sounds atrocious. Just the worst. I swear to fucking god if they do a DKC movie and we have to hear him for 90 minutes

I did think Peach was lacking, but that was on the script, not Anya Taylor-Joy's performance. It's cool to see Peach fight, but it's one of those all too common instances where the writers put so much effort into making the main girl kick ass and be an effortlessly confident girlboss that they forgot to give her an actual personality. Not that I'd point to Super Princess Peach and its mood swing superpowers as positive representation or anything, but there's a happy middle ground, surely. Shrek was 22 years ago, just having the princess do flying kung fu kicks isn't enough.

Okay. With the voices out of the way, let's talk about the big picture:

It's way better than the words "Illumination Mario movie" implied, and I mostly enjoyed my time with it. The spirit of Mario is there 100%. But I'd also describe it as "ruthlessly efficient."

This was perhaps the main complaint critics had, and they were absolutely right. People have responded to these totally average reviews with "Well, what did you expect? Shakespeare?! It's MARIO!!" Like, yes, I would prefer it if the movie I paid to see had writing that was good instead of bad. What a shocker. My issue isn't that it's not "high-brow" enough. The problem is that it feels mercenary. It feels like an editor went through and deleted almost every line of dialogue that isn't some form of exposition, at the expense of the pacing. Any scene that's not a montage or some sort of action is kept as short as they could make it, with barely any room for embellishment, character interaction, or anything other than the bare minimum word count to hit all the typical Save the Cat Hollywood screenwriting 101 story beats to the letter. There aren't even as many jokes as you might think (and the ones that are there are extremely hit or miss, including a lot of the slapstick with Mario himself).

Mario and Peach's little arc together in the front half of the film is probably the worst example of this pacing. Even having read reviews that complained about how fast Peach goes from meeting Mario (by her admission the first other human she's ever met) to deciding to train him as the new savior of the Mushroom Kingdom, I was SHOCKED at how fast it was. They don't even lampshade it.

Peach takes Mario straight into the big training sequence where he learns how to use mushrooms and jump over platforming obstacles. Peach is apparently already a hypercompetent platforming pro and a great fighter, so there's no clear reason why she's taking the time to train this random guy to be half as good as her when the world is in danger. Then they set off on their adventure, Toad joins them, and we get a VERY brief travel montage. It's about thirty seconds total - just long enough to give Peach a line about how she wants to protect this beautiful world of hers to try and give her some stakes. We get the genre-mandated nighttime campfire heart to heart, which is exactly long enough to have Mario say he misses Luigi and to have Peach give the two sentence summary of her origin story and not a second longer. Then they reach the Kongs, and their big journey is complete. (They barely interact for the rest of the movie.) So much of the movie is like this - always ready to get on to the next scene as soon as a new one starts.

I'm not criticizing the script because I expect The Super Mario Bros. Movie to be a prestige drama - although there are certainly halfhearted attempts at a dramatic arc. The stuff with Mario's family was a fun enough idea, but again, ruthless efficiency. We get one quick scene with them at the start to give Mario some pathos, because I guess Save the Cat said he's gotta have some pathos. And then Mario gets his dad's approval amidst the action of the final battle in Brooklyn to resolve his arc, just so the movie can end as quickly as possible once Bowser is defeated. (Despite now having the approval of their family and their community back in Brooklyn, Mario and Luigi move to the Mushroom Kingdom off-screen without a single word dedicated to this decision, because that's where they live in the games.)

Look. I am not comparing it to The Godfather. Don't give me that shit. I am not asking for an extra half hour to explore Mario and Luigi's childhood trauma. I am not asking for the complex inner workings of the Mushroom Kingdom monarchy. I know this is gonna be a basic Hero's Journey adventure for kids. It just feels like it's turning down so many opportunities to have a little fun with the characters, to let them interact and play off of each other, to let there be some adventure on this adventure. This is the first time we've gotten to see these characters interact with fully voiced dialogue in a very, very long time! "Yeah, it's not High Art, but it's FUN!" Stories are fun! Character interactions are fun! The script could be having so much more fun!! It is adamantly against making the Story parts of this story-driven movie any more Fun than they functionally need to be!!!

Mario, Peach, and Toad's journey to find the Kongs is shorter than the training montage that precedes it. After the opening, Bowser mostly just sits in his castle and waits for the third act to start. Luigi's there, too, but he only gets one scene with Bowser and then the movie mostly forgets he exists until the climax. He doesn't even get to try and sneak out of Bowser's castle and get up to hijinx. He's just there to be a motivation for Mario, so he sits in a cage for half the movie. It's the bare outline of a script with action scenes added in.

Aside from the fact that it's Jack Black singing as Bowser, I feel like this overly-efficient script might be part of the reason why the "Peaches" scene stands out so much. It's a moment that didn't strictly need to be there to keep the plot moving or to provide an action setpiece. It's not even a reference to another Mario thing. It's just a fun and memorable little character moment that's there for its own sake. That's what the movie needed more of. To stop and smell the roses more often. To play in the space.

To be clear, this isn't a unique problem with this movie. Critics have been noting for years that second acts are disappearing from big Hollywood movies in favor of the Act I plot setup and the Act III action, even though Act II is supposed to be where you get to explore your actual premise. And lots of animated movies give me this exact same vibe of being too "screenwriterly," or feeling like they had an executive breathing down their necks and demanding changes based on focus testing. But these common issues are why I come away mostly feeling like the movie is on the better end of "average," rather than totally blowing my mind. You have seen this movie many times before, just not with Mario in it.

And, of course, there's the music. The score by Brian Tyler based on various classic Mario and Donkey Kong tunes (frustratingly all attributed to Koji Kondo) is absolutely beautiful, but it's unfortunately frequently overshadowed by the licensed music. Everyone already complained about things like the use of Take On Me in place of a lovingly arranged DKC medley, but it feels illustrative of the tug of war the movie is caught in the middle of, between wanting to be a lavishly faithful Mario movie and wanting to be a generic tentpole animated adventure movie. Every single licensed song used is the most obvious, overused song they could have picked for the scene. It reeks of cynical executive meddling and it took me out of the movie every time.

But there really was a lot of care and love put into this movie - more than probably any other video game movie ever made, not that that's a high bar. I don't want to underplay that too much amidst all my complaints spurred by the absolutely insane response to the reviews.

Aside from the countless background references that people will be picking apart for years, touches like the Captain Toad tune playing in the background of Toad's introduction or the Mario Kart 8 menu music playing in the kart garage really help bring it to another level of authenticity. I also enjoyed seeing some more obscure Mario enemies that felt like they were picked more for being fun to animate than for being nostalgic and marketable. No matter how many times I sarcastically pointed to the screen and deadpanned "reference. reference." I am not immune to noticing these things and smiling. I am not immune to the DK Rap. These alone don't make the movie good, but it's nice to have a video game movie that feels like it was made by people who like video games.

Most importantly, the animation is great throughout. It's leaps and bounds ahead of other Illumination work, and it's the best the Mario cast has ever looked. They even made Donkey Kong handsome, somehow. They're all so squishy and expressive, and they move so fluidly - especially in the action scenes. I particularly liked the more kinetic ones like the aerial Banzai Bill chase and the Mario Kart sequence. Truly, the Mad Max-inspired car battle on Rainbow Road where Mario literally does the speedrun shortcut is this movie firing on all cylinders.

Other, more hand-to-hand fights nail the Popeye-esque vibe Mario should be going for. He's an underdog who gets the shit kicked out of him by bigger, stronger opponents until he gets his signature powerup and turns the tables on them. My favorite animation of all probably came from the use of Cat Mario to turn the tide in the DK fight. They had so much fun making Mario move like a cat. Again, it feels like a choice made because it'd be fun to animate rather than just a nostalgia move.

It's that animation and that attention to detail that carry the film, really. They elevate it from mediocrity into being a fun watch for a fan like me, albeit one I couldn't help but pick apart with Anthony as we watched it at home. I'm glad I saw it, but there's a lot of room to improve with the inevitable sequel. I hope they do. I can't deny that I had fun with the movie, but I hope next time that fun is partially because of the script instead of in spite of it.

Stray thoughts:

Overall, I would say I enjoyed the movie a lot more than Sonic 1, but probably not as much as Sonic 2. Not that these movies need to be pitted against each other.

I hated the Luma. I hated how hilarious they clearly thought the Luma was. They have the fucking Luma break the fourth wall to end the movie and start the credits. This is going to be a deep cut for fans of bad animated films, but the whole time I was just thinking of the little fish from Romeo & Juliet: Sealed With A Kiss who's just the director's kid saying random nonsense. You know I'm right

I rolled my eyes at the "our princess is in another castle" joke and several other jokes that would have been dated in a gamer webcomic 20 years ago but I guess they had to be there

How much of Brooklyn did Bowser's giant floating castle take out? We know 9/11 happened in this universe because the Freedom Tower is there, hasn't New York been through enough

I can't believe there's a Diskun easter egg

The dog is the most Illumination character design in the movie. It felt like it wandered on set from The Secret Life of Pets

Mario being a gamer and playing Kid Icarus of all things just made me remember this tweet:

Yes Anthony did get mad at me for being thirsty for Bowser

[sneak-a-cat]

fucking. miraculous au where chloe got sent to a damned private school. like that shit fucks you up - speaking from experience - and is where she should have fucking gone like girly is the mayors child why is she there. why. it makes no sense. not saying that children of people of import cannot be sent to public schools but judging by the Everything about Andre and Audrey she shouldn't have ended up in a public school.

like i'm sorry but i truly believe she and some of the other characters should have gone to private schools and then there would be that fucked up rivalry between schools that happens - [redacted] die please. your not better at hockey or rugby than us. your rancid (not really but its funny to get so heated) - and like the friendships people have across schools... fr they are so funny.

bonus points if they go to an all girls school paired with an all boys school. wdym i'm speaking from experience and projecting? of course i am.

but back to the original point. WHY IS SHE THERE. people explain it in fics like her dad was making a public statement being like "wow guys the public school system i fund and help organise is so good i sent my daughter to it" BUT NO ONE WITH HIS MONEY WOULD DO THAT BECAUSE A LOT OF PUBLIC SCHOOLS ARE UNDERFUNDED

like i get that thomas astruc was just wanting to put "bitchy rich girl with powerful parents" in there as a trope but like.. buddy please... think it through.... i know thats asking a lot when talking about this man but pls

miraculous would be ten times funnier if they were all at a private school and were forced to wear uniforms and got weird fucking assemblies about breaking the uniform "individuality is for after school girls!" - quote directly from my old headmistress

like genuinely with fashion as a core theme in miraculous it would be so much funnier if they had to wear uniforms, and on non uniform day - generally charity work, pay to not wear uniform money goes somewhere good, it works well - everyone would go buck wild except for Adrien who in my heart he would escape in a hoodie and joggers

Alix would have the exact same hair and probably more piercings, i'm sorry i don't make the rules every year has at least one person who looks like that and we love them for that (yes she would go to the private school IN THE WIKI IT SAYS SHE LIVES IN THE LOUVRE WHY DOES SHE LIVE THERE THATS A FUCKING MUSEUM)

wait. never mind. Juleka and Alix are dyed hair solidarity girlies for realsies, plus in my head Juleka has fire makeup and nails which are amazing for the goth aestehtic but don't really go with the uniform but She Sticks To It. she is committed

oh and Luka my beloved weirdo who doesn't seem to go to school, yess they would be there Jagged pays child support in droves for Luka which is also used to pay for Juleka to go (they aren't twins to me don't talk to me. Luka is older and they are half siblings ok. )

maybe i'll just fucking write this who knows. idk how the french school system works, never mind the private school one but i damn well could figure it out

plus from my experience, private schools have extensive grounds with just enough upkeep to be fancy but not enough to block the view of the fucking road like so its kind of funny like what were you going for

which could be a banger place for an akuma attack which isnt - yknow - the Eiffel tower. again.

objectively sending a bunch of them to poncy schools would do fuck all, however, its a really funny alternate universe to create... this minor change would fuck up the timeline because i'm in charge and bored

i don't know what this turned into. to be frank with you i think this idea is just actually so fucking funny so i'm going to stick with it who knows where that will take me

also, objectively, this is the funniest continuity error to focus on in miraculous

[kingsdespair-if]

Boooooo 👻

I'm here 😈 I'm curious as to what it would be like to go on a Valentine's date with Amisha and Secret 💜 (poly route pls ✊😍)

Hello, kitty. 👻💜

You are quite persistent, aren't you?

I've already said no to poly for Secret. But since you're my favorite, I'll make an exception and give you this little treat.

As per request, Secret here will be the female variant.

Let's see.

~

It's early in the morning, and you're returning from your morning shower. As you dry your hair with a towel, you feel water droplets trickling down your neck. With your hand on the doorknob of your room, you pause before turning it as you hear a noise coming from inside. It's a conversation. No, it's a fight. Clearly, those two can never get along, and their early morning arguments have become a part of the routine.

You chuckle to yourself when you hear it.

"What are you doing? I already told you not to touch me!" Amisha barks.

"I didn't touch you because I wanted to. You stepped on my tail, so I had to push you away from me," Secret bites back.

"What kind of stupid creature even has a tail?"

"That's rich coming from the brute who literally turns into a tiger… WITH A TAIL!"

"Oh, you piece of…"

Okay, time to interfere. You turn the doorknob and enter. As soon as they see you, Amisha drops the candleholder she was about to throw at Secret, and Secret blows out the fireball she had just conjured.

"Good morning, ladies. I see we're all excited to spend Valentine's together, huh?" you ask, giving them both a knowing smirk.

Secret moves closer to Amisha, wrapping an arm around her shoulder as she growls in response to the physical contact.

"Oh, yes! Me and the kitty here were just talking about how much we enjoy each other's company, right?"

Amisha huffs and unfolds herself from Secret's embrace, walking towards you and grabbing both of your hands with her warm ones.

"Never mind the dumb half-lizard. I'm just happy you're here, and even more so to know that you set aside the whole day for me," Amisha says to you, her affection evident in her words and glowing orange eyes.

"Yes, for you. And for Secret too. You're both my girlfriends. And you both look wonderful today. Now, why don't you two take a break from your rivalry, just for today?" you reply, brushing a stray strand of hair away from her face and giving her a sweet kiss on the temple.

"Ugh, fine. I promise," Amisha says, raising her hand.

"Secret?" you ask, narrowing your eyes at her.

"Yes, my destiny?" she replies mischievously, blinking rapidly with her hands under her chin.

"Will you behave today?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. I always behave."

You shake your head, pointing at the black pillow that was set on fire a few weeks ago during one of the morning fights.

"Alright, ladies. Let's go. We have a wonderful day ahead of us," you offer your hands to both of them. Amisha grabs your left hand, and you hold out your right hand for Secret.

"I… I can't hold your hand like this. I might hurt you…" Secret looks at her own left arm, covered in scales, with big dark claws coming out where her nails should be.

You smile at her, grabbing her scaled hand and intertwining your fingers.

"No, you won't. Come on."

The three of you head out the door and manage to squeeze in all the activities you had planned for the day.

Amisha had organized a walk in the woods, a picnic, and some time to relax and watch the clear blue sky and peaceful white clouds.

Secret found some wild strawberries, and Amisha cooked a delicious sandwich with boar meat, wild herbs, and fresh bread from the kitchens.

You all took a refreshing dive into the waterfall and enjoyed the sunset from the top of a mountain, spending a lot of time stargazing.

The tent you brought turned out to be too small for three people to sleep in, but it didn't matter since you hadn't planned on sleeping that night.

The whole forest became the witness of your love for both Amisha and Secret.

𝙷𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚢 𝚅𝚊𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚎'𝚜 !💜

[escapetodreamworld]

carnival and love

(Working on a better title)

Words 6,057

Warnings: none, just fluff, flirting and mischief

Summary: the collinsport carnival is bigger then ever, a competition between business and a day with your family and girlfriend, Angie

A/n this was a birthday gift for beeb @arewecoolio i wrote it and sent it to her at the beginning of July, now everyone is allowed to read it, hope everyone enjoys it!

Tagging @sythaerin cause i know you wanted to read it

On June 1st a town meeting was called, all business owners were to attend. You go with Elizabeth and Barnabas, for two reasons, one, you're next in line to run the family business, two, you always go to town meetings to support your girlfriend.

You stand in the back of the room with Angie, talking before the meeting starts. "Do you know why we're here?" You ask, eyes scanning over the sea of people all crowding in trying to find seats. "I do." Angie says, a secretive smirk on her face.

You pout at your girlfriend, "really, you aren't going to tell me?" You give her your best puppy eyes, trying to coax her into spilling the secret. "You'll learn soon, my love." Angie says before being motioned over by the council, she nods at them, kisses your cheek goodbye before walking away.

You take your seat beside Elizabeth, moving her purse from the seat and setting it on the floor between you. The meeting goes on forever, just boring stuff like every meeting. Angie occasionally looks up from her notes and makes eye contact with you, offering you a smile that you always return.

Finally the head of the council calls on Angelique Bouchard, you perk up, Angie stands, moving to the microphone. "Good evening, I'm sure you all are wondering why you were called here today, it's because I have talked it over with the board and we have decided that this 4th of July weekend Collinsport will be hosting its first ever carnival" the room erupts in whispers and conversations. Angie looks at you before continuing. "As a way of bringing in money for the town, we have decided every business will work a game booth, we will be providing them along with prizes. The booth with the most tickets wins a bonus of five hundred dollars. If my booth wins, I will be donating the money to the town."

Angie continues on to talk about the rides and food trucks that will be, the entire room went crazy at the news as well, the mayor had to silence everyone so Angie could finish, she talked about how this year's firework display will be much bigger than last years. The crowd is buzzing with excitement about all this news, after Angie finishes her topic the head of the council tells everyone the rest of the meeting will continue as normal, more than half the people in the room file out, Barnabas and Elizabeth's included. "Are you coming?" Elizabeth asks, waiting by the row you are sitting in. 

"No, I'm going to stay, Angie will take me home." You tell her, Elizabeth glances at Angie, then looks back to you, she sighs.

"Do you have your keys?"

"Yes." You say. "Okay, don't stay out too late." Elizabeth says, adjusting her purse strap on her shoulder. "I won't." You promise. Elizabeth says bye and walking away to meet Barnabas by the door, you turn back to focus on the meeting, locking eyes with Angie, now that almost everyone has left she's more relaxed, eyeing you up and down, you raise an eyebrow at her, she responds with a wink and grin before turn her attention back to the mayor's rant about hippy kids and drug use. You don't pay attention, all you can think about is what that look Angie gave you meant, you definitely would be getting home late.

It's 4th of July, the last day of the carnival, and the only day you're required to work a booth. Every day before Elizabeth was paying her workers double to work it for them, Angie doing the same for her booth, so you could all spend time together and do all your family traditions. But the winner is revealed today and Elizabeth wants to be there, her and Barnabas still have a rivalry with Angie, and Angie enjoys the competition so you let them bicker and one up the other.

The car ride to the grounds the carnival is long, the car is packed, with Willy driving, Barnabas in the front, Elizabeth, Vicky and Juila in the second row and you, Carolyn and David in the back, Vicky, Julia and Barnabas all have blankets thrown over them to protect them from the sun. David chats excitedly about all the prizes he wants to win, on the way there. 

When we arrive Willy and Elizabeth get out first, opening umbrellas for the vampires, when you finally get out of the car you start helping get folding chairs and blankets out of the car, for the fireworks today. After everyone is out Elizabeth leads the way to the tent with the game the company is doing, balloon darts. You all file into the tent, Barnabas Juila and Vicky setting up their chairs out of the way from the game, because they'll be sitting in the tent until sundown.

Elizabeth opens the front of the tent, getting ready for opening in 10 minutes, you start putting everyone's things under the table holding all the small prizes, so it's out of the way. David is itching to go play games and eat as much candy as possible.

"Okay, listen up." You say, getting everyone's attention. "Rules for the carnival, Carolyn don't get in trouble, David don't just eat sugar today, Barnabas no killing anyone, the last thing we or this town need is a tourist to be found murdered." You say, everyone nodding, Carolyn and David definitely didn't listen. "Why was I singled out?" Barnabas asks, offended.

Angie walks into the tent. "Because you're the only vampire that is having a hard time controlling them self." Angie says with her usual snarky tone reversed for Barnabas. Angie walks over to hug you, you return her hug. Looking over her shoulder to see Barnabas rolling his eyes at Angie's comment, Julia and Vicky high five each other for having control.

Angie pulls back from the hug, keeping her hands on your waist. "Are you ready for today?" Angie asks you, you nod, "Ready for tonight! Less so for manning the game." You tell her.

Angie pouts sympathetically. "It'll be worth it, my love." Angie says, rubbing her hand on your side in a comforting way. You give her a small kiss on the lips as a 'thank you for easing my stress' you have to pull away before Angie can deepen the kisses, you know your family's eyes are on you. Angie smiles before turning towards Elizabeth.

"Ready to lose Lizzy?" Angie baits Liz with the nickname. Liz sends Angie her famous glare, but there's no hate behind it. "You wish Angelique, we're going to destroy you." Elizabeth fires back.

“You have your work cut out for you, Elizabeth. I promise not to gloat if you bow out.” Angie says with false sweetness, smiling a bit too sharp. 

“The Collins family has no intention of bowing out, but I do thank you for the opportunity,” Liz laughs, “I’m afraid I won’t be as kind before crushing you in the competition.” 

Barnabas, who had been waiting for an opening in the conversation, jumped in eagerly, “There will be no mercy at your loss when we lay you beneath stone slabs and crush you under immeasurable weight until your black soul returns to the pit of hell it crawled from.” 

Angie, You and Elizabeth blink, before the latter pinches the bridge of her nose. "Carolyn, please help Barnabas with his trash talk later." Liz says, Carolyn nods and looks at Barnabas ashamed.

Angie turns back to you, "I have to go, my love, but I'll be right across from your booth." Angie says, kissing your cheek before striding out of the tent, you unashamedly check her out as she goes, her shorts make her legs and butt look amazing.

You're not the only one that noticed Angie, Julia, noticed and in true Julia fashion she says something about it. "God she's got a nice ass." You whip around to glare at her, Julia grins at you, then glances over to Elizabeth, and you realize she said it to rile Liz up, and it worked cause Liz's face turns red with jealousy as she stares at the ground. You roll your eyes.

True to Angie's word her booth is right across from yours, as the day goes by and you take tickets, hand out darts and say your 'better luck next time's' you both will meet eyes and smile before getting busy again. When you sit down for what feels like the hundredth time to blow more balloons up, you catch Angie motioning a red faced David over, he's been running around with his friends in the sun for hours now, she tells him something then hands him money, David runs off again and Angie goes right back to working.

A few minutes later, after you've reset the board with balloons David comes running into the tent, hold a few cold water bottles. "Angie asked me to get you both some water." He says quickly, placing two on the table before sprinting out with the other two, you watch him swerve through all the people to get across to Angie's tent, where he hands the other two bottles to Angie, but before he can run off to rejoin his friends Angie stops him, he walks into her tent, where he reluctantly gets sunscreen rubbed into his face by Angie.

Finally David gets to go play again, and Angie looks over to you, winks and uncaps her water, taking a swig while keeping eye contact with you, your staring contest is broken when a kid runs up to your booth, this kid has tried six times to win the big green dinosaur stuffed animal, she hands you the tickets, and you give her 5 darts, "what color balloons are you aiming for this time?" You ask the girl. "Blue." She says with all the confidence in the world. You step aside and watch the balloon board, hoping she finally wins.

To your surprise the first three land their targets, the girl is getting excited, and you're getting nervous, you clutch your unopened water bottle as her fourth dart pops another blue, one more and she wins, Vicky, Julia and Barnabas are watching anxiously.

"Just one more sweetie." Her mother behind her says to her daughter, her mother is as amazed she's gotten this far as you. The girl concentrates very hard, her brow furrows, she throws her dart. 

POP

The dart pops another blue balloon, Julia, Vicky, and Barnabas start cheering, they've been acting as the cheerleaders of the booth every time someone wins, the girl is jumping up and down screaming with excitement, her mother is overjoyed her daughter won, you unhook the big dinosaurs, handing it to the girl. 

"Congratulations!" You say to the girl as she wraps her little arms around the plushie that's bigger than her, the girl runs off, her mother following behind as the girl races off to show her father. You smile, happy the girl got her prize. You take a drink of your water finally, gulping down more than half of it before recapping it.

A few games later and Vicky tells you that we're out of blue and red balloons, meaning you have to blow up more, you blow two up when a thought occurs. "Julia," you look around, the booth has no one around it at the moment. "Can you breathe?" You ask, she looks confused.

"What do you mean?" Julia asks.

"I mean can you three in your condition, breathe." You whisper.

"It's not needed, but yes." She confirms what you had wondered.

"Oh good," you say before tossing a bag of blue and a bag of red balloons and the three of them. "I've been getting lightheaded blowing those up for no reason while you three sat there." You say annoyed, you turn away from them, taking some free take to breathe air, and of course stare at your girlfriend.

You smell the hot summer air and all the fried foods as you watch Angie work at her booth, Angie's assistant clocks you, leaning in to whisper something to Angie, who immediately smiles and looks over at you, she stares at you like you're the only person here, her smile genuine and beautiful.

Sadly this time it's Angie forced to look away when the mayor comes to speak with her, Angie nods to something he says and excuses herself from the tent, walking away with him. You're disappointed, Angie's assistant gives you an empathetic look, your sadness must have been clear on your face.

A few minutes go by and a voice on the big intercom comes on. "Just a reminder that the game booths will be closing early today, one hour remains, hurry and win some prizes." You sigh in relief that it's almost over.

Angie comes back to her tent shortly after, but with one man down in the booth a line has formed around the game, so she's too busy to look back at you. After a few more people have played your game you notice something truly amazing, the shadows forming, you poke your head out of the tent to see the sun has moved to where it's now more to the back of your tent, meaning.

"The sun is no longer an issue for you three, you can move around the tent safely and help Liz." You tell the three vampires, grabbing your purse and water. You tell Liz you're gonna go, kissing her cheek in goodbye, before slipping out the side of the tent so as to not let any light shine into the tent.

You finish your water before throwing the bottle in the trash, your first stop, Angie. You make your way through the crowd, sliding into her tent. You smile at Angie's assistant, then creep up behind Angie, kissing her cheek. Angie turns with a surprised look on her face, then realizes it's you. "Hello, my love." Angie says before grabbing you by the waist to pull you into a real kiss. When you part just a few inches you smile up at her. 

"Hi." You stare into her eyes, beautifully blue and filled with joy. You could stay like this forever, in her arms, staring at her. "Can you sneak away from the booth and spend the rest of the day with me?" You ask, pleading with her with your best puppy eyes. Angie smiles, cupping your cheek, her smile turns sad and apologetic. "I can't baby, not for another half hour." Angie tells you, you nod, understanding.

"Okay, well, i'll help you here until then," you tell her, "then maybe we can go enjoy the carnival together." You say, hopeful. Angie kisses you and agrees. You ask what you can do, Angie grins, with her hands still gripping your waist she starts backing you up, the back of your legs hit a stack of heavy wooden crates, Angie's hand move to your legs, lifting you up onto them, giving you a passionate kiss before whispering against your lips, "you can sit right here, and continue to look absolutely delicious for me." You smile, give her a small nod, bumping your noses together in the process.

Angie backs up, looking you up and down. "Perfect." She says, her eyes telling you exactly what she's thinking. you blush under her intense stare, Angie finally pries her eyes from you, focusing on the customers.

You spend the half hour on that crate, in the time you pulled your legs up underneath you, which cut off blood flow so now you're legs hurts, you've finished Angie's half empty water bottle, you've distracted Angie twice and had a lovely conversation with her assistant, and you've had three men ask if you were a prize, each time Angie looked ready to curse a whole new family tree.

Finally that half hour is over and two of Angie's workers come in to take over for her and her assistant, Angie thanks them, explains what they'll need to do, then finally, she offers you her hand, you accept it, intertwining your fingers, Angie's pulls you off the crates, you, stumble into her but Angie's catches you, once your steady you and Angie leave the booth.

You both walk hand and hand through the path, crowds parting for Angie. Everyone slowing down to see the two of you 'love birds' as the town calls you, walking together. "So, i thought we'd check out a few games, we only have thirty minutes for that, then food, because I've watched you all day and you haven't eaten anything yet," Angie says, replacing her hand in yours with an arm around your waist as she guides you over to a rigged ring toss game. "Or do you want to go on some rides before we eat?" Angie asks, moving to standing infront on you, pulling you close with her arm around you.

You think about it for a moment. "Eat then rides, its not a carnival if you haven't at least almost vomited," you say, making Angie chuckle and shake her head. "But Angie, why are we at a rigged ring toss game? there must be better games here." You ask, turning to look at the game, watching kids fail over and over.

Angie stands behind you, arms wrapped around you as she explains. "Because i looked at every single game here, and i can say with all the confidence in the world, that this game has the stuffed animal you will want." She says, her breath hot against your neck as she rubs her nose against you pulse. You turn in her arms a bit, giving her the best arched brow you could.

"With all the confidence in the world?" You question jokingly, making fun of her. Angie scoffs in fake annoyance before grabbing your hips and turning you back around. She points at the stuffed animal. "It's adorable." You tell her. "Told you." Angie smugly replies.

You roll your eyes, and get an idea. "Want to make it interesting?" You ask, leaning back against her. "What do you have in mind?" Angie replies. "Play the game, but if you lose, you have to take me to the shelter and let me play with the puppies for as long as i want." You say, smirking, cause Angie doesn't let you go there anymore after the hundredth time you were there and begged her for a puppy. 

Angie hums, thinking it over, before agreeing. "But if i win, you come with me on my next business trip." She says, you groan. "Angie," you whine. "That's a five night trip, investors and businessmen talking to me about buying shares and telling me how to run my family's company, it's so boring." You complain.

"Those are my terms. And you don't have to go into the meetings this time, you can spend the days however you'd like, I just can't stand the thought of being away from you for six days." Angie assured you, trying to make this trip sound fun.

"Oh so I'm only there for your pleasure at night," You tease, turning your head enough to kiss her shoulder. "Alright, fine. You have a deal." You finally agree, Angie hugs you from behind, before stepping away to buy the rings for the game. You watch, smiling, so sure you're going to win this, but soon you remember you forgot to add a very important rule to the bet, 'no magic' you curse yourself for it, knowing Angie doesn't honor your forgetfulness when it comes to bets.

You watch, as every single ring slides right onto the bottles, you sigh, a thought of what you'll pack runs through your mind as Angie retrieves the stuffed animal, Angie walks over to you, presenting you sniffed animals to you. You take it, smiling at its adorable face, then signing. "Any chance you'll let me out of it because I forgot about your powers?" You ask, making yourself looking all pouty to plead.

Angie smiles, carefully caressing your cheek before pulling you in for a kiss, stopping just short of connecting your lips, "pack that lace set i bought you." Angie says against your lips before kissing you, answering your question.

You accept your fate. Six days of boring meetings and annoying men, but at least their will be amazing sex every night. You meet Angie's lips, kissing Angie, sealing the deal. You pull away when the intercom says 15 minutes till game booths close.

"So are we done or do you want a stuffed animal?" You tease, Angie while amused, shakes her head no. You nod, but continue to tease her. "Are you sure? because that one would look great in your bedroom." Angie has to pull you away from the games.

Angie manages to get you off the subject of stuffed animals and onto the subject of food pretty easily, mostly because you're hungry, you both decide corn dogs and fries would be the easiest thing to eat. While you're both waiting in line to order, you see David running around, a large cotton candy in his hands. 

"His blue tongue doesn't match that pink half eaten cotton candy." You state, pointing David out to Angie, she looks at him, witnessing his sugar high with you. "Oh lord." Angie says, watching him fade from view. The person in front of you finishes ordering, while Angie is distracted you order. Two corn dogs and a large fries. 

After you both have finished eating, Angie suggests going into the funhouse, you agree, thinking it could be cool. However from the moment you enter the attraction Angie lips are all over you, by the second room you give up and just lean against a wall, kissing her.

"Wait." You mumble against Angie's lips, she pulls back, ready to ask what's wrong. You hold up your stuffed animal, making a show of covering its eyes. "He's too young to be seeing this." You say, goofing off. Angie's laughs, smiling at you all happy and amused. Angie leans back in, capturing your lips again.

You're not sure how long you've been there, but your lungs are begging for proper oxygen instead of the short intakes you've been taking between kisses. When Angie and you hear coughing you stop kissing, but Angie doesn't release you from her grip, just turns her head to see who interrupted her.

You clear your throat before speaking. "Hello Mrs Williams, enjoying the carnival?" You attempt to make small talk.

She smiles, "Oh yes, it's been wonderful so far, it was lovely to see you both, come find me later." Mrs Williams says, glancing between you and Angie before giving you both a polite smile before walking away.

"We can mark funhouses off the list of places we can make out." You say, giggling at the awkwardness of being caught. Angie laughs too, resting her head on your shoulder.

You both soon find your way out of the funhouse, the sun having completely set during the time you were in there. Angie asks what you want to do now, you smile, you grab her arm, wrapping it around you, you lean into her side as the two of you walk around, no destination in mind, just enjoy the moment.

The moment doesn't last, soon David, Carolyn and Vicky come running up to you. "Y/n! Angie! Come with us! We're going to take Barnabas on the UFO ride, see if he throws up!" David says, bouncing up and down.

You look at Angie, silently questioning if she's up for it. "Why not! It'll be interesting whether he does or not." Angie says after thinking about it for a moment.

The five of you find Barnabas, dragging him to the ufo, while you wait in line Barnabas begins talking about the strange things he's seen. "And they've been cooking everything in oil, tubs of hot oil, and people are eating it." Barnabas tells Vicky, who nods along, already knowing this. Finally the line moves, and you all get on the UFO.

"What is this place?" Barnabas asks the operator. Carolyn and Vicky have to drag him over to the padded walls, you and Angie lean against the walls, a few spaces away from the others, not wanting to be near Barnabas.

The ride starts moving, slowly at first, but starts to pick up speed, Barnabas starts letting out a slew of curses, everyone im the ride looking at him, you and Angie just laugh as he starts trying to pull himself from the wall, he'd be strong enough to do it, but Angie is keeping him glued to the wall. Barnabas continues to shout and insist he should be freed from this hell. The operator ignores him.

When the ride finally slows to a stop Barnabas drops to his knees in the ride. He doesn't move, it takes Vicky, Carolyn and you to pry him off the floor, Angie's too amused to do anything but watch. Dragging him out of the ride isn't easy, especially because he refuses to walk, he just drags his feet while you and Vicky hold him up, all he does is complain about the world spinning as you struggle.

You sit him down on a bench, Barnabas dramatically slumps forward. "That thing was constructed by Satan himself!" Barnabas shouts. you roll your eyes. Vicky pats and rubs his back, David sits beside him, both of them concerned about Barnabas. Carolyn and you are growing tired of all this, Angie seems sick from the display of affection. Carolyn walks off, with a grumble about Barnabas not vomiting and being a baby.

"Right well, we're going." Angie says, not wanting to stay and see Vicky and Barnabas any longer, grabbing your free hand. "Okay um, Vicky, it's getting late so watch David," you say, then turn to David. "David, stay with Vicky, please." You beg, Angie already pulling you away with her, you turn, you turn around, falling in sync with Angie's steps. "Are you alright?" You ask, trying to read Angie's face.

"I'm fine, my dear, I can only take Barnabas in small doses." Angie explains, you understand that. he pisses you off just about everyday. "Lucky for you we're going on a trip next week!" You say, acting more excited then you are. Angie stops mid-walk, pulling you back as you attempt to keep walking, and like a poorly executed dance move you spin, stumble and end up in her arms, face to face, your arm and stuffed animal squished between your bodies.

"I know you aren't excited, but it means a lot to me that you're going, and I promise we'll have fun." Angie says, there's an emotion in her eyes, one you can't fully read, sadness? joy? Maybe both, she is vulnerable at this moment, something that's very rare for her.

"Being anywhere with you sounds wonderful, I'm looking forward to the week away, not having the Collins clan or the town breathing down our necks, watching our every move." You reassure Angie, squeezing her hand before bringing your joined hands to your lips, kiss Angie's hand tenderly.

Angie closes her eyes, breathing in when your lips touch her hand. "I love you." Angie breathes out, opening her eyes again to stare into your soul with her icy blue eyes, she watches your face, looking for any signs of disgust or any lies when you speak. "I love you too, Angie." You say, offering a warm loving smile, easing Angie worries with a kiss, just like you've done so many times before, and will continue to do for as long as you live.

Angie's shifts back to her confident playful self, getting more possessive and flirtatious with her touches. She's looking at you like you're prey, you have to gently remind her that you're in the middle of a carnival, with children all around and people watching your every move. Angie lets out a low growl noise when you mention being watched.

Angie composes herself, before suggesting you both head towards the fireworks that are about to start. You agree, following her as you try to relax and ignore the aching Angie's stare and growl caused.

Angie takes you in a different route then the rest of the crowd is heading, then you realize you're heading right for the ferris wheel, it's not the most original thing she's done, but you're still excited for it, what does surprise you is when the ride operator sees Angie he waves you both through the line, then hands Angie a picnic basket and blanket. 

You try to catch Angie's eyes, to silently ask what she's planning, doesn't look your way, so you settle for giving the ride operator a confused look, he shrugs and smiles sheepishly, you sigh.

When the ride clears and you're let on, Angie gets in the cart first, you settle in next to her, the man running the ride sets the bar down and locks it in place, soon you're moving backwards and up in the air. Angie carefully places the blanket over your legs, it has cooled down a bit since the sun set.

As you suspected, the ride stops just as you reach the top, you glance behind you, seeing no one in the cart directly behind you or in front of you for that matter. Angie slides closer to you, setting the basket on her other side.

"Okay, we're alone, what are you up to?" You ask eagerly, no longer able to hold your confusion in. Angie turns towards you, taking your hands in hers, giving you a bright smile, and right before she opens her mouth you're sure you have it figured out. "Oh my god," you say, shocked and confused.

"You're proposing?" you ask, nervously. Angie opens her mouth to speak but you stop her. "I mean, I knew we were heading there," "y/n" Angie says, but you keep talking. "but we talked about waiting until i graduate college next year." "Y/n!" Angie says louder, finally stopping you, you look at her wait.

"I'm not proposing yet, cause you're right, we agreed after college, and also, on a stopped ferris wheel during fireworks, give me a little more credit then that." Angie says starting serious, but laughs at the end.

You sigh in relief, then smile at her amazing laugh. "Then what was all this about?" You ask, still smiling at her.

Angie stops laughing but doesn't stop grinning. "I was going to romance you then ask you to go on my business trip with me, but you're love for bets and forgetfulness on rules was a better way of getting you to go." Angie explains, you facepalm and groan. "Of course." You say embarrassed, it now makes sense, Angie would have a way to get you to do something she knows you find boring.

Angie just laughs, teasing you. You find your beet red face behind the stuffed animal. Angie pulls it away from your face. "You are adorable when you're embarrassed." Angie states, watching you closely. Angie slides her hand under the blanket, resting her hand on your bare skin just above your knee.

You glance down at her hand, not visible under the blanket but you can see the shape her hand makes. You glance up at her, Angie's looking at you with that same look she was giving you before you both left to go see the fireworks.

You clear your throat. "So what was your master plan to get me to go? besides getting me up here to watch fireworks." You question, glancing at the basket. Angie removes her hand from your leg and retrieves the basket.

Angie places the basket on both your legs and opens it. "I know carnival food isn't healthy in the slightest, so I brought some healthy things." Angie says, letting you root through the basket. You find grapes and sliced apples, then you pick up two half full water bottles with a carbonated slightly yellow liquid. You look at her confused.

"They refused to let me bring a glass bottle and cups up here." Angie shrugs, you open one and smell it, champagne. You hand a bottle to Angie. "Here's to getting me to go on that trip." You say, and cheers a smug Angie.

You both sit there, eating fruit and sipping champagne as the mayor starts his speech on the stage the town built. "And finally, before we start the fireworks, the winner of the town business contest." He says, and you lean forward in anticipation. Angie leans forward too, the cart tipping forward slightly.

"Collins cannery!" The mayor announces. You let out a "ha!" Teasing Angie. "Elizabeth won't let you forget this" you tell her, knowing Elizabeth will brag about it.

"It's okay, I'll just remind her that you and I are intimate, that always silences her." Angie replies, grinning at the idea.

"Angie, that makes it so hard to look at her." You whine, knowing no matter what you say won't stop her.

"It's hilarious to see her turn red though." Angie says, while putting everything in the basket and back in the corner. The fireworks are about to start. "you're evil." You say as you curl up into her. Angie turns her head and bites your earlobe before saying right against your ear. "Yes I am." You can feel her grin against your ear.

The sky starts lighting up with color, loud popping sounds following closely after the flashes of light. And you aren't paying attention, way more focused on Angie's hand making it way back onto your leg, higher up this time, you do the same, placing your hand on her thigh.

Angie lightly digs her nails into your leg, her mouth biting all over your neck, causing you to moan, no fear of anyone but Angie hearing you with all the noise around you, however you don't think you would be ashamed if someone did hear you both up here, making out and groping each other like teenagers.

You hadn't watched any of the firework show, only pulling away from each other when the ferris wheel started moving again. You gather up the blanket, handing it back to Angie, you both got off the ride, making your way to the exit. The Collins agreed this morning to meet at the car after the fireworks.

You and Angie walk hand in hand out of the carnival and into the parking lot, where Liz is arguing with Carolyn about a ton of giant stuffed animals in the car, clearly not David's or yours, all though David is holding a dinosaur stuffed animal bigger than him, Carolyn must of given that one to him, and Julia already in the car.

As you approach the car Liz notices you and Angie, and grins, Carolyn takes the moment to climb in the car to get away from her mother.

"Angelique, it's a shame you didn't win, maybe next year." Liz says, gloating over her win.

"Elizabeth, I just thought you should know what y/n and I were doing on top of the ferris wheel during the fireworks." Angie says, not taking it any further because you're completely red in the face, clear to see in the floodlights of the parking lot is all Elizabeth needs to guess what Angie implied.

Elizabeth's face turns from smug to angry and embarrassed immediately, she walks away, getting in the passenger seat. You turn to glare at Angie, who's just barely holding on laughter. "For that, you're taking me to see the puppies at the shelter." Angie nods, telling you it was totally worth it.

You sigh, shaking your head. You see Barnabas and Vicky nearing, Willy stumbling behind them. you give Angie a kiss goodbye, before climbing in the car, to be suffocated by all the stuffed animals, you hold yours close and watch Angie walk to her car, putting a basket and blanket in the back, get in and speeding off. Your car starts and leaves right after hers, and all you can think about the whole ride home is how amazing tonight was and how excited you are for your trip.

[captainhattersvoyagerstuff]

Caretaker Part 2

This is the continuation of the review started here

Scene 10 Hoedown from Hades

The crew finds themselves in the middle of some kind of Southern hoe down. I'd like to say these no longer exist, but I'm from Texas, so I can't. Everyone gets out their tricorders. They aren't in Kansas, thank goodness.

I told you there would be an evil corn on the cob lady

Turns out they are actually on the array but for some reason, they are stuck in this holographic hoedown from hell with pushy holograms that are programmed to entertain them or something. I don't quite know what the alien responsible was thinking, or the writers. This old lady comes out screeching for people to eat her damn corn on the cob! It's bizarre. Fabulously bizarre.

A girl grabs Tom's arm because even holograms know that Tom is easy. And she's like, let's go in this dark barn to Tom and Harry. And then pitchforks show up (this was bound to happen) and it turns out this was just the waiting room for the fun stuff.

That's actually a giant needle about to pierce Harry's chest.

Scene 11: Aliens experimentin'. Ain't it always the same?

The fun stuff is the crew hanging from these meathook like things while needles go down into their chests and they scream. Harry has the best scream. Janeway's scream sounds like something altogether different is happening.

After they are properly vaccinated against weird, the crew reappears on the ship. Everyone except poor Harry. The Delta Quadrant and apparently the writers hate Harry Kim.

Scene 12: Janeway Meets Chakotay

Janeway contacts the Maquis ship and Chakotay wonders why she knows his name and buddy are you ever in for it. Turns out the Maquis were taken earlier by the same entity and they are missing a crewman too, B'Elanna Torres. She suggests they work together, so three Maquis guys beam over.

"Oh, yeah, I was spying on you all this time." Great intro Tuvok!

Tuvok immediately goes over to Janeway's side and Chakotay realizes he's been betrayed and then he sees Tom Paris who also betrayed him and he's ready to beat the crap out of Tom. These guys have some intense rivalry that will no doubt continue through the show. But Janeway just stands right in front of of this big terrorist guy and barks at him to lay off, and he listens. If I had a tenth of that woman's presence, I'd have my own cult by now.

Oh, and notice the guy in the goofy vest in the background. That's Ayala. This guy was an extra on this show more than any other extra on any Star Trek show but he only gets a name once, and a few words of dialogue, so people use him in fanfic a lot. I didn't realize before that he appears so much so I'm officially declaring a "Where's Ayala?" hunt for this series.

Scene 13 The Banjo guy

Janeway, Tuvok, and Chakotay beam down and run into an old guy playing a banjo and who thought this up? It turns out banjo man is a powerful alien who used his great powers to yank ships light years away randomly to his front door.

Notice how Janeway glares down at him and gives orders while the supposed terrorist Chakotay sits down at eye level and tries to reason with him. I love this show.

Scene 14 You thought your hospital stays were bad

B'Elanna Torres and Harry Kim wake up in a hospital room with boils all over them in an underground area where these Ocampan people live. Some of their doctor guys come in. Half-Klingon B'Elanna immediately tries to kill him and gets restrained.

Guys, meet B'Elanna!

So yeah, sucks to be them, but at least there are no banjos there.

Scene 15 Janeway talks with long lost spy bud, Tuvok

Tuvok, the most sarcastic and thus the best Vulcan ever, and Janeway talk.  Janeway laments about Harry.  His parents apparently tried to send him his clarinet.  I’m betting they had lunchables for him too.  Janeway promises to get everyone home. Umm.

Scene 16 Neelix.

Voyager meets Neelix.  I realize some people really like him but most of the time he annoys me so, so much.  He is on a ship picking up debris and wants water.  But he can help them find their missing people!  Don’t do it Janeway! Don't let him on the ship!

Neelix already knows the plot.

Janeway does it.  Poor Tuvok is embraced by Neelix.  Tuvok will continue to be harassed by this guy for 7 seasons.  How he didn’t eject him into space and claim it as an accident I'll never know.

Tuvok, my man, this is just the beginning.

Scene 17 Fun in Ocampaville

Back with Ocampa Kim and Torres are told that the Caretaker sent them there. The doctors don’t know what’s wrong with them and calmly say that they're going to die. They don't take it well.

Hey, no need for frowny faces!

They give them this slop and tell them to watch the nature screen.  They don’t even have cable. The Caretaker sucks but the Ocampa like him because he helped them out by making them an underground city. This happened after "The Warming" turned their world to desert.  Warming? Whatever could they be referring to?

We're now into the next episode of the pilot. I swear the other reviews won't be so long.

Stay tuned for our wacky baddies, the Kazon! Also, Neelix in the bathtub!

[blossoming-sun]

Why I think the Miraculous Movie is amazing

First of all, the Kwamis and the miraculous. When the miracle box is introduced in the movie, the only Miraculous in it are the Ladybug, Black cat, turtle, fox, and bee. If there are any of the other miraculous, we aren't shown them. Honestly praying that those are the only ones, because the other ones kind of suck.

Also, another thing that I found interesting was that Hawk Moth seems to be impacted from using his miraculous, even though it's never said that the butterfly miraculous is broken. He has visions of destruction when he looks at it at the start. He passes out on the floor after akumatising someone for the first time. He lets himself go over the course of the movie- either because of his obsession or the effects of using the miraculous.

Anyway, I love how the kwamis and miraculous are so connected in this. Nooroo poking his head out of Hawk Moth's button in the song he sings, and Tikki actually shifting between the two at the very end of the movie. And speaking of the end of the movie-

The akumatised people:

No objects for you, an evil butterfly is going to crawl inside of you and painfully turn you into a monster. Ladybug and Chat Noir actually have to fight till the end. they can't take the easy way out and just... rip their notebook or something. Also loving how (as far as we know) the akumatised victims are just random guys. Always hated how in the show out of over 2 million people in Paris, Hawk Moth always chose to go after one specific group of teenagers. And can we talk about how Hawk Moth akumatised himself at the end of the movie? He turned himself into a literal GOD. No magic notebook for him, he literally destroyed all of Paris and turned a river into lava. Why didn't he do that in the show?

The characters:

Chloe still sucks at the start of the movie, but she isn't weirdly possessive of Adrien, which is good. Also, Marinette isn't a stalker in this, which is an upgrade. Chloe and Sabrina seem to have a somewhat-healthier than canon dynamic, especially at the end of the movie. But tbh in canon Chloe literally locked Sabrina in a closet at one point, so there isn't much competition. Also she seems to have more of a rivalry than bully dynamic with Marinette at the end of the movie, which i wish had been explored more. But oh well.

I love chaotic Tikki. Imo "WE'RE GOING TO GO ON ADVENTURES AND ALMOST DIE" is way better then "Oh, I believe in you!" Which Movie Tikki does as well, but it definitely felt like she had more personality than canon Tikki. Plaggs characterisation I'm not a massive fan of. I like his apathy and how he likes rotten things (ties in with him being destruction) but they didn't need to turn him into a fart joke. Seriously. Something I do like about both the kwamis is how their personalities are so different- because they represent opposite things. From the start of the movie, it seems like they also hate each other (Master Fu begs them not to fight when he opens the box) which is neat.

Agreste drama:

Adrien telling his father that he sucks in that one scene gives me life. I also really like how Gabriel is a bad dad, but not actually terrible. He lets Adrien leave the house. But he still sucks in the sense he pays 0 attention to his son. Even Nathalie calls him out on it. But unlike in canon, Gabriel seems like he's actually trying. He just lost himself trying to get Emilie back. And with the Hawk Moth vs Chat Noir and ladybug scene at the end, I 100% think that Canon Hawk Moth would have just taken Chat Noir's miraculous and made the wish instead of stopping. He's definitely not perfect, but he's more of a good guy than in canon.

Also, with the timing, yes I feel like it was rushed, but tbf the creators of this movie managed to do the same thing the show's done in 5 seasons in an hour and a half. Also the animation was amazing.

Uh and thats all I have to say, so here are my hopes for the sequel:

Gabriel redemption. I want to see him be a good father and try and move on from what happened

Main Villain Mayura. (I also want her to frame Gabriel for her evilness)

More Chloe screentime. She was an Icon.

Queen Bee, Carapace and Rena Rouge

More Agreste drama

A bunch of cute couple stuff between Marinette and Adrien

[thatndginger]

Actually @writeintrees I am not quite done with talking about the Shapeshifter Coffeeshop AU, because I can't just leave anything alone lol

Side note: the coffeeshop au world is just our world. No magic or shapeshifters or anything, just cute vibes

The shop is called Salty Dog Cafe. It started out as a joke because Carlisle was a sailor on cargo ships in his twenties, but everyone loves the name. It's near one of the city's piers, yet another reason to embrace the name. The staff refer to themselves collectively as the 'dog pack', and it's a tradition to write what kind of dog you think you'd be on your nametag - or other animal, if a dog doesn't quite fit.

The logo is a scottish deerhound wearing one of those sou'wester hats and sporting an exaggerated beard and a smoking pipe. Warrick likes to hide the logo somewhere in window murals. Currently, the Instagram-follower favorite is one he did of the hound - wearing the hat and a yellow rainslicker - standing in a little boat and facing down a kraken. Occasionally Warrick'll swap the deerhound for another type of dog (one that a staff member has claimed) to see who notices.

The Salty Dog opens at 6am and stays open until 10 at night, which is how they have such a diverse array of regulars and the whole morning/evening shift thing. Whoever is the designated baker for the day usually gets in at about 5am to start in on the morning's goodies. Kerr' schedule usually means he's working the morning baker shift the first half of the week, then flips to evenings for the second half. No one knows how he manages this but he actually get annoyed if you try and put him on all mornings.

When the second location opens, Reese calls it the Salty Cat Cafe, and has Warrick make a second logo that depicts a grizzled persian cat in sou'wester hat and pipe. A friendly 'rivalry' between the dogs and cats is born shortly after - no one takes it too seriously though, it's all for fun and publicity. The baked goods at the Salty Cat are a lot 'tamer' than the Dog, owing to the fact that Kerr mainly works at the Dog and his protege Aleksei isn't nearly as good at coming up with gross-sounding-but-tasty recipes. Yet.

Warrick and Kerr do manage to convince Carlisle to get a liquor license for the Salty Dog (it doesn't take much convincing, honestly) and create an entire menu for it over the course of a few very long, very tipsy weeks. The drinks aren't actually that boozy, just enough to get the flavor and kick from the alcohol. Jay and Portia refuse to sell more than two to a single customer, insisting that they're baristas not bartenders. The cafe only sell this 'hard coffee' option after 5pm, and usually only on nights when there's live music in house. It's more of a novelty thing, honestly, but it draws business all the same.

As for the regulars...

While everyone is convinced that Adrien Montrose is part of the mafia, he's not. The Montrose family are business tycoons, and they may have some cutthroat business tactics, but they're not criminals. Adrien starts coming to the Salty Dog because he's the manager of one of the family's businesses nearby, and one of his staff recommended the cafe. He keeps coming because the coffee is actually really good, and he secretly enjoys the way Kerr 'haggles' him into buying some of the baked goods in the mornings.

(They started dating when Adrien came in one evening on a live music night and Kerr used the opportunity of a full house to corner Adrien and ask him if he was actually part of the mafia or not. Adrien used that as an opportunity to take Kerr on a date disguised as a 'come to this address and find out' challenge. They just ended up hooking up in Adrien's office. The animals.)

No one is aware that Adrien is a Montrose at first, and they definitely don't know that he and Lucas are related. Lucas only appears occasionally, almost always when he's made it his goal to make Adrien's day difficult. He's set to inherit the CEO title for the Montrose Group, and likes to make sure his youngest brother knows his place as a simple manager.

Along that line, while most of the Salty Cat staff are pretty sure Luka Kovac is a mafia enforcer or something, he's actually a giant nerd working at the local planetarium. He just looks scary as hell. He likes the cafe because it's quiet and has a cozy atmosphere, and someone on the staff keeps stocking the 'take one, leave one' bookcase with vintage sci-fi. He starts leaving his own sci-fi books in exchange, and slowly everyone catches on to the fact that he's just a giant, soft dork.

Calypso de la Fuente is a nightclub owner, which is why she only ever shows up in the hour or so before the Salty Dog closes. She'll only come in when she's had to be awake during the day for something, which happens every couple of weeks. Whoever is stuck making her horrifying twelve-shot, amaretto-drizzled monstrosity usually also has to navigate her trying-to-be-nice-but-too-tired-for-niceties conversation. Then she'll down half the drink on her way out the door and head to her club until the wee hours of the morning. She and Jay have definitely flirted with each other, but Calypso already has a girlfriend and Jay just likes flirting with terrifying women.

[seedlessmuffins]

Hello footblr: hockey department! 👉👈 I saw on here a whileeee ago about you comparing crosby/ovechkin to messi/cr7. I always kind of compared ovechkin to neymar with them both being kind of flop artists (trophy wise) but crowdpleasers who really showcase their sport. (Also they’re both set to break Gretsky/Pele’s goalscoring records before they retire 😋 ) I didn’t grow up watching hockey or football so thats kinda my own uninformed opinion and I was wondering your thoughts. Is there a better Neymar equivalent in hockey that I can look out for? I haven’t watched hockey since leaving DC but I’m in North Carolina now so… really considering jumping on the bandwagon for next season. 

hi anon, i think this is one of my favourite asks i've ever received, so first of all thank you so much for this!

(the rest is below the cut if you want to read my analysis! sorry this is so long anon)

it's hockey season! ask me questions!

when i was comparing messi&cr7 to sid&ovi, i was mostly comparing the rivalry not the individual players. the rivalry is similar in the sense that since like 2005ish, they have been competing for the same titles not only with their club teams but with their countries and individually. they also have very similar play styles, messi as a false nine/cam who produces play and assists (as well as scoring goals) matches well with sid, who is a center who creates plays and assists (as well as scoring goals). cr7 as a winger who primarily scores goals, although he does assist and create plays occasionally (although more when he was younger then now), is very similar to ovi, who is also primarily a goal-scoring winger.

neymar, however, is kind of a thing of his own? i don't think there's any really good comparison for a skiller who is arguably the third best of his generation who is leading his country. the closest comparison i can think of is connor mcdavid, he is a skill player who is currently the best in the world, and he has the expectation to lead canada to greatness but he hasn't been able to play at international competitions for reasons that aren't his fault. if you are looking for skill players who play beautiful hockey with lots of tricks, may i recommend highlights from the sedin twins, connor mcdavid, connor bedard, and trevor zegras? they have some gorgeous plays and some impressive skills that are so fun to watch.

in terms of teams, if you are in north carolina now i truly recommend the carolina hurricanes! they are a really well built team, who plays gorgeous clean hockey with great defensive work. technically, as a team, they are the most fun to watch for me because visually, they are hockey tactics in motion and i adore that. stunning, stunning team to watch, and they are slated to do quite well so they will go far! i am slightly biased as i recently jumped onto the canes bandwagon while doing research for another friend here, so i have a lot of canes content on my blog if you scroll (or you can dm/ask me anything about them! honestly i love talking shop). if you're looking for a team with many blorbos you can obsess over, the pittsburgh penguins are a great team for that! many players you can obsess over, and shoutout to pensblr fr i love it over there they are so much fun to interact with. i always like to advertise the canucks on here, i think they are a fun team to watch! very high scoring, lots of skilled play although a bit sloppy. lots of drama, lots of goals, what more could you ask for in a team! and for one more option, the florida panthers are quite scrappy and surprisingly good, their entire team is like an underdog that somehow keeps winning! they're fun to watch and though i am not a fan, i am keeping half an eye on them after their playoff performance last year.

those are my recommendations! please let me know if you have any questions about teams or players, i enjoyed this so much! if you decide on a team, let me know if you want links to watch!

[starlitfunkster]

Look at them! Six-same faces.. again.

...Can you tell that I'm self-aware, and know that these OC's are unoriginal as fuck?

Did you also know that despite one of them sharing my first name, they are not a Sona?

And also, did you know that they aren't made for shipping??

..My head hurts, lets get this over with.

(Separate images below as well as Bios!)

Corona Yasu - First Sibling - Bee - Hothead, tends to hate being called Coron (i.e. colon in Japanese). Has a rivalry with Karamatsu, who she sees as cringe. Maybe she should talk to Pokan, who's also trying to be a cool kid. Is the fry-cook in the cafe, making the more afternoon stuff. Also may or may not be a pyromaniac.

San Yasu - Second Sibling - Butterfly - The 'smartass' of the group.. and is also the only one called a shortass, even though she's the same height as her other sisters. She likes to organize things, and everything she writes down almost always comes down to threes. Don't even ask her how that happens, it just does. She's friends with Choromatsu because of their shared interest in Nyan-Chan.. however Niko thinks its something more. Despite repeated assurance that, no, it isn't a crush! She handles the finances because she is the most mature out of the siblings.

Kuro Yasu - Third Sibling - Raven/Crow - The gothic one. She keeps a bar hidden in the cafe through another door. Why? Don't ask her, she does it for spare change. Has an unrequited crush on Ichimatsu, but refuses to speak about it because she finds it embarrassing. She goes out to raves whenever she's off work, typically to block parties. Nobody recognizes her outside of her work partially because she's the only one that stays up at night. She's practically nocturnal, as one onlooker described her.

Pokan Yasu - Fourth Sibling - Bunny - The genki-girl! And also the wannabe cool-kid. Every attempt at being cool reminds her that these attempts are all pretty dumb. She's one of two bakers, being close to Niko as a result! She's also the only one that can calm down Corona when she and Karamatsu are nearby each other. It's because she hates seeing Corona rant about 'cool-kids being cringe' when that would make Pokan cringe.. which she sees as kind of hypocritical.

Aria Yasu (Guys I swear I wasn't even trying to make their name similar to mine-) - Fifth Sibling - Swan - The elegant one. Also the most graceful of the sisters, and one of the few that has a hobby outside of her job. She's the waitress at the cafe, taking orders, and successfully giving out the correct items to each customer, with the correct prices (+tax) as well. You may be allowed to get as much as you want, but be sure to have the right amount of money before you go in. Her hobby is ballet, something she is very good (and passionate) at. She's also empathetic towards her sisters, being able to tell if they are having an 'off' day.

Niko Yasu - Sixth Sibling - Kitty - The cat-lover. She will only say 'nya!" unless she has to speak to others. She adds 'nya' to the end of her sentences instead. She's the one that bakes a lot of the sweets alongside Pokan. She also wears cat-ear headbands and fake tails on her back just to make people think she's half-cat. She also tends to be over-protective of her siblings, especially if they show signs of having crushes on anyone. It's why people don't fall for any of the sisters.. because Niko threatens them if they end up 'breaking their hearts, nya' or 'harming my sisters, nya'.

[lord-squiggletits]

Would you tell us about your tf big bang fix? 👁 also!!! Where do you get your ideas for titles? They always slap 👌

Hiiiiii worm

Okay uh FONIB the big bang fic, I'm not sure exactly what is the most exciting part to tell you guys about. I think the most interesting part about it will be that in this specific version of MegOP, it's post war and Megatron is the one who hunts Orion down while he's in exile and tries to pick fights about shit. Basically Megatron is trying to reignite his rivalry with Orion because (slight spoilers) it's the only thing he has left after the war is over, but Orion has literally moved on? So instead of Megatron having that connection with OP, OP literally just looks at him and is like "you are so fucking pathetic and you're just annoying me, can you talk to me without acting like a weirdo or trying to fight me" and Megatron does not handle this well because uh. He is trying to escape the mortifying ordeal of being known and acting as if he's perfectly fine, but also there's no war to frame his interactions with OP and OP sees right through Megatron's attempts at a violent, homoerotic rivalry.

Basically this is the "Megatron is so pathetic" MegOP scenario and I'm so excited about it because Megatron IS pathetic and. And I feel like there are too many fics where people write him as being so smart and foresighted when it's like. No this guy literally lives for war and killing and once he can't justify bloodshed to himself what does he have? Nothing. Drag his ass.

Also, I'm glad you like my title ideas because honestly? Most of the time I completely fucking wing them, about half the time I just title fics with the first random title that comes to mind (generally just for the PWP and other one-shots that aren't that important) and the other half of the time I just pick some random song lyric or poem line or ask my beta reader for a suggestion.

I think the main reason some of my fic titles slap is just because I have a really good eye for picking lines/poems/etc that thematically fit what the story is about. My favorite ones in particular are WATMM and how the entire story is basically framed around the story told by the titular poem. PUE for the way that I was able to title drop the fic in one of Optimus' speeches and the way that ties into the whole theme of forgiveness in the story. And that one sub-chapter of PUE called "Dulce et decorum est" which is a reference to a famous WWI-era poem about the horrors of war because of how well it reflects the plot. I also like NATP and EATP as companion pieces because I think the change from "not according to plan" to "exactly according to plan" is very cheeky and cute and just fitting in a very simple way.

[a-tale-of-legends]

Hmmm. Okay. I keep feeling that there's something missing from TLH that makes it feel complete. Now, that's probably the lack of a timeline that I keep forgetting about, BUT I also have another opposing force in the mix: Team Rainbow Rocket. Now I've been avoiding talking about them bc talking about them would mean talking about Poppy, who was very under characterized with no real backstory. Now, he's still in development, but him being a faller has helped me piece together who he could be and how he plays as a protagonist for usum. Rainbow Rocket doesn't even appear until the end of USUM. I don't know if Poppy has actually encountered them or not, since they end up becoming a rival to TLH for a period of time.

Here's what I do know/ ideas that I think would be cool:

Each leader is essentially Cursed-Chosen. I'm adding Chosen cause they ended up winning in their timeline, so something gotta balance out the Curse that the legends pokemon has placed on them.

So yes, these guys have powers of their own alongside their given legendary. This guys are a threat.

The members of Rainbow Rocket are the ones seen in the post game, with the addition of Lusamine from a different dimension. Rose and Colress I'm debating on though. Not Rose from this au, he would refuse their offer( given that he did ultimately win in the end/hj),and alternate reality Rose. Same with legends! Colress, I feel like Eva has eagle eyes on him so even if he wanted to join( he is slightly curious) he wouldn't.

For Admins, I know for a fact that there's a RR! Silver, one who never doubted that his father was the best and continues to push his ideology onto others.

Maybe an RR! Blue or Red? I already got TLH! Green, so I'm left with those. I wouldn't be surprised if Giovanni tried to make Red or Blue a weapon on his side. I think Blue might be more interesting, only because he was the more "weak willed " of the two. Giovanni would know where to strike the child where it hurts, making him feel vulnerable enough to strike. Not saying that Blue would join willingly - hell no. This is Blue we're talking about. No, this is an abduction. He must likely get mind controlled and turned into a super soldier( Giovanni keeps him in line by mentioning how maybe if he chose Rec, he wouldn't be so disappointed all the time).

Yeah, that would probably mean RR! Blue and RR! Silver would but heads a lot.

Not entirely sure if I would add rivals or other canon characters to RR's ranks. I feel like they're pretty stacked already.

....okay maybe RR! Shauna. Maybe.

Okay to actually plot stuff: they are basically competitors with TLH for 1) gathering Legendaries and 2) Finding a way to break apart a Chosen and Chooser. As a refresher, this formula for that was created by Sakura and Volo individually, but not together. Both sides thought the thing wasn't complete and ditched the project, not knowing the other had the missing link. Lysandre is probably the one who really kickstarts this, however. Someway or another, he had gotten his hands on Volo's half of the formula and has been experimenting with it ever since. Once TLH got wind of this, it started a back and forth of who has the formula and even funnier, who has Volo( I think it would be funny if he was being thrown around like a football ).

So basically, the job of the Chosens is to stop TLH and RR and make sure the legendaries aren't being interfered with in general and do whatever their day job is. Pour one out for Jude y'all. He's gonna fucking need it.

The only good thing about the TLH - RR rivalry is that they are often going to focus on each other, wasting resources on each other. This makes it slightly easier for the Chosens to divide and conquer. Slightly.

And I think that's it? For now. I....really need to make a timeline, fucking hell.

[let-me-iiiiiiiin]

alright, hang on, this might actually be good????

cringe-worthy dialogue aside I can actually see potential in the new expansion. I checked out a more detailed review of the new features. let's go.

Female Dwarves have BEARDS now

Not gonna lie, this is when I realized things may not be so dire. If they hadn't cared at all, they would have just reskinned the dwarves. But they're doing much more than that!! Actual BEARDS for FEMALE DWARVES!!!! I think this really shows that they are not just going to make another cash-grab. Upon closer look I also really like how the crystals look like. It may even make up for the boring faces!!

2. Delves

Honestly at first I thought they were referring to the dwarf-elf hybrids, but then I realized no, they are talking about CAVERN DELVES. As in, DELVING. Slight disappointment, but not too much, because I did honestly enjoy the adventures in the Zaralek cavern. I think more of that might be nice.

3. Universal Dynamic Flight

YES. THANK YOU. I'VE BEEN WANTING THAT. I'VE BEEN WANTING THAT SO MUCH. The option to toggle between the two is also extremely good, especially from an accessibility standpoint.

4. The everything else

Honestly, the features don't look half-bad. I think they might be working with good intentions here, because I can't really see anything wrong with them. They don't really clash with existing features, and they aren't really super flashy, and they don't seem to be clunky. Still unsure about hero talents (because lmao they are really adding sub-classes to sub classes) but let's see how they handle it before roasting the hell out of it.

Now, for the story. (I'm not looking forward to this, but here we go.)

"we witness thrall and anduin having a moment"

*spits water* having a WHAT??

2. Anduin's angst

I do make fun of the cinematic for its dialogue decisions but I am glad that they are not glossing over anduin's gruelling experiences. he is so young but he has been through literal hell, unwillingly and then willingly. It takes time to get acclimatized to (relatively) peaceful existence.

On the OTHER side of this scale, I do dread how they are going to handle this. I read (and write) fanfiction, so I am aware of the many ways fans have written about their favorite characters getting and healing from trauma. Sometimes, it ends up becoming very melodramatic. With how dragonflight was handled, I do hope they will be able to keep this from becoming something of a gag. The chances of anduin's angst becoming pure senseless whump are low, but never zero. Unfortunately.

3. Alleria Windrunner "unique rivalry" with Xalatath

Just say toxic lesbian yuri. We all know what's going to happen. You cannot trick experienced homoerotic subtext readers. "being torn between her own nature and the maddening call of the Void to which she is attuned" that is an INCREDIBLY lesbian description, are you AWARE OF THAT???? A "unique rivalry" whose "twists and turns will come to define the nature of this new conflict", just say it's enemies-to-lovers okay???? love wins. hate also wins cause toxic yuri. Also, her story description has the LONGEST paragraph among the listed NPCs. That alone proves it.

Seriously, just look at what they wrote for Anduin, their specialest little boy:

'Anduin Wrynn: Having survived his ordeal with Domination, he will grapple with his relationship with the Holy Light that he no longer feels worthy of.'

ONE SENTENCE. Whereas Alleria has a whopping THREE SENTENCES in a LONG-ASS PARAGRAPH.

As long as they handle this as homosexually as possible, I am willing to forgive Alleria for "my..... visions..... are not like the others..... (gay)"

4. The Arathi (aka the human tribe in the new zone)

Honestly, no opinions. Depends on how they handle the story.

5. Nerubians (and a possible spider allied race in the future)

Alright, I have a few thoughts on this. We may ask Blizzard for characters of ALL kinds of races, but that depends on whether it's worth it to introduce all these things. (Mainly for money reasons I'm guessing, but also from functionality of the NPC race as a player character, and a variety of other things).

One thing about the playable races is that they are made with all sorts of animations. Sitting, flying, free-fall, kneeling, sleeping, and all those other stuff have their own animations. Some of these you will see whether you do or don't want to (like the pose of your character while they are on a mount).

And without exception, all playable races have to have the essential animations, and they must not look unnatural. Sure, they might look a bit weird, they should not look impossible.

A thing about nerubians is that they are, well. SPIDERS. They have a lot of legs. That's a lot of limbs to coordinate. The designers would need to figure out how to do the animations for something that is almost as long and wide as it is tall, and that's made a lot more difficult by the simple fact that nerubians are SPIDERS. I repeat: SPIDERS. If you cannot imagine a Nerubians riding your Mammoth mount, I assure you, the designers likely can't either.

BUT. Not all hope is lost. Because there is something unique in the concept designs in the Blizzard post...

Please take a look at the image below:

You can see here that while most of these designs are not playable race-friendly, ONE among them is.

This character is bipedal. They seem to have a tail behind them (you might see the shadow between their legs, which, disappointingly, is not a gigantic cock) but we already have characters with tails. Namely, the newly introduced Drachtyr. And while it is not exactly typical to have a character with four arms, it is not too big of an adjustment. THIS character would most likely be able to sit on a mount without trouble.

It is also, remarkably, wearing almost a full set of armor. One notable thing about playable races is that they are all able to have transmogs, which is a thing blizzard wants to make accessible for everyone because it's such a popular feature of customizing your character. The other spider NPC models are only wearing tabards or helms and etc, but this one has: a helmet, a pair of pauldrons, a chest piece, gloves, a waist item, and BOOTS of all fucking things. Also, do you see its pose? That's a classic Horde Night Elf stand (I'm sorry I don't remember their names). Everything about them screams "made for future player gameplay"

I'm guessing that once Xalatath and Alleria make up and have hot lesbian (redacted), the nerubians will join the fold and we will have our hot monster playable race. Rejoice!!

Also, look at these quotes: "Queen Ansurek has embraced these modifications [...] The society of nerubians offers up a citizenry in a variety of forms, some of which we’ve never seen before." This feels like they are really going to do it. I'm guessing we will get them at the end of War Within or at the end of the expansion trilogy. Which is nice! Always wanted to play a weird fucked up race tbh. The Dracthyr are cool, but more variety is always more fun.

6. Kobolds are coming back

Yessss. It's been a moment since I last saw those little fuckers. I hope to see more of them.

7. The everything else

Honestly... This is not looking bad either. I was pretty hasty with my judgement during the first look, but that was because the dialogue just squicked me. I am glad that they are taking this seriously and with great thought, and I hope to see the results in the coming years. I am looking forward to seeing what they do with all these ideas!

ok. i'm going to play now. guardians of dream is out

[gaycey-sketchit]

(Gary anon) Yeah, I can see why Undertale was held in high regard. Shame the fandom offset some people. (For popular series like that, while I do feel I'd missing out riding the hype and joining those fresh reactions in real time, sometimes just need to be in the right headspace to absorb it properly) Yeah, but some watchers feel obligated to guide the LPer, whether they want it or not. For games that have the same results each time, it makes sense to want help a new player.

.

(Part 2) In something like Undertale, where everything you do counts? You can't "guide" that, everybody wants a different path and results that can't be agreed on. No one wins here. (Probably found his footing on how to deal with things as a creator. Working on other projects to distract from the attention helps too) Like, there's definitely companies that indulge in shady practices, but more often than not, the higher-ups are more to blame than the developers.

(Part 3) The concept artists is not responsible for why the game is released half finished. (Heh, I've been lucky to find scans online during the 2000s; though I have seen physical copies. Much easier and cleaner now compared to back then) It's always nice to see multi-generational characters interact with each other, don't get many chances to have them all in the same place. (Though the concept does feels milked in recent years; not specifically referring to Pokemon)

(Part 4) Best chance now is either somewhere during the Mew search or that hypothetical Ash vs Gary rematch. (A solo Gary flashback feels more likely for the first option though) And there are all the PWC first round titles, and it seems there was a bit of confusion of what the titles meant at first. Thankfully it seems to clear up now; and shows again why we wait for proper translations. xD

Yeah.

Oh, I totally get that. I have been late to the party with so many fandoms because for one reason or another I couldn't get into it when it was newer and at the height of its popularity.

Yeah, backseat gaming is a Whole Thing. I've noticed it quite a bit in livestreams. I totally understand wanting to give advice when you're watching someone play something you're familiar with, but sometimes it's better to just... not.

Yeah. He's probably kept pretty busy these days, between Deltarune and having apparently done some music for the upcoming Pokemon games.

Yeah, questionable business practices usually aren't the fault of like, programmers and concept artists. These people are mostly doing their best with the deadlines imposed by higher-ups.

Amazed by the dedication of some people to like... do that whole process of scanning (and sometimes translating) whole manga so more people could access it. (Though I just like. Bought mine from Barnes & Noble a few years back. How times have changed.)

Yeah, it's interesting stuff! Pokemon Masters sure has been good for that. (And yeah, true, the concept has been milked a bit by some. I'm not too familiar with the MCU but I've seen complaints about it kind of like that.)

Makes sense! Would love if this hypothetical Ash vs Gary battle's circumstances really brought things full circle by like... taking time to touch upon their past together. Would love that. (Talking about their rivalry always ends up sounding so romantic.)

Cool cool!!

[fleurspun]

The Art of Pretension

summary: You strike a deal with Nikolai to save yourself from a disastrous arranged marriage.

note: fake dating nikolai lol english is not my first language u might see some errors and also you can find this on ao3 

word count: 5.8k

When my tutor asked me where I saw myself in ten years, my twelve-year-old self answered something along the lines of pursuing higher education in Ketterdam University and occasionally taking trips to The Grand Palace to annoy Nikolai, a prince of my age whom I was often forced to study with to promote ‘friendly competition’— whatever that meant, about being forever his older brother, Vassily’s shadow.

Ten years later and I don't think I'll be fulfilling the latter any time soon for very unfortunate reasons, including Vassily’s untimely death.

Instead, I'm sitting on a velvet blue chair on the other end of the King’s newly-polished marble table, which felt comically long, by the way. Instead, I abandon my shame and face the boy who I was now obligated to call the Tsar. Instead, I was here in Os Alta to make a proposal. Literally. Because in the next few seconds, I would be asking Nikolai Lantsov, the Tsar of Ravka and the reason for the many wrinkles in my forehead, to...

"Marry me." 

I say it with my whole chest as if I was simply barking out orders at a palace servant, "Or, at the very least, pretend like you want to marry me."

We are both rendered speechless by what I had just said, and our silence is as uncomfortable as a sock rolling halfway down a shoe-clad foot.

There’s a subtle look of shock present on his face before quickly schooling it back to something a little more controlled, "Little bossy coming from somebody who wants my hand in marriage, no?"

Huffing, I sink back into the chair, "Pretend hand in marriage." 

Silence falls on us again, but this time Nikolai has his brows knitted, trying to figure out why'd I want to do this in the first place. After all, we've spent the better half of our mortal lives in a catfight. It could've been counted as a childhood rivalry, yes, but unfortunately, Nikolai and I are both destructively competitive, much so that what was once a quarrel between 9-year-olds over simple geography and literature became a fight between 22-year-olds (who both have much better things to do) over politics and pride.

It takes a good minute before he gives up, striding across the floor to get to my seat. He sighs, planting a hand in front of me as he leans into the marble, "You've got me again, princess. Go, elaborate."

"Parents want to marry me off to this Fjerdan boy, and he's terribly stupid and arrogant." The words pass through my gritted teeth, "I am a scholar at Ketterdam University, Lantsov. Royalty, at that. I can't get married to a man who lowers the intelligence of the whole room every time he talks."

Nikolai licks his lips, nodding in amusement. He's clearly enjoying the predicament I'm in. Bastard. Chances are, he'd reject the deal just to see how it plays out, "Watching the boy annoy you to your wit's end would be fun—entertaining, even. I'd throw a ball every two weeks just to see how you’re holding up. Perhaps I could learn from him.”

"Ha-ha. You're predictable, Nikolai."

"But also, I have to say, the idea of you being cross at somebody that isn't me is making me a little jealous." He moves forward, tilting the bottom of my chin with the pad of his finger, “I think I should be the only one to see this little scowl of yours.”

What?

I could feel my breath hitch from his comment. "What do you mean?" I stab a finger at his chest. I’m making a move to get out of the seat, hopefully covering the red coming up on my ears, "Look, if you aren't going to take this seriously, I might as well just lea-”

I'm startled when he grabs at my hand to stop me from moving away from him any further, his thumb smoothing over my wrist, "It means I'm interested, darling. What's in it for me?"

Nikolai gently pushes me back down on my seat, and I do the impossible: I oblige, "I hear Ravka’s coffers are nearly empty, and with everything going on, I know you need the money I’m offering you. What’s inside those coffers won't be able to support the people and those little pet projects you have.”

He scowls at the comment, “Huh.”

"If you accept my offer, I’d be willing to fund you. I mean it, every personal project you need the money for. I earn more than what I need and the exchange rate between kruge and Ravkan money is good.” I bite at the bottom of my lip, smiling as if assured he’d take the deal, “You’re smart as a whip, Nikolai. You’d get more benefit out of this than I would.”

His ears seem to have perked up at my last statement, immediately turning his head to meet with my eyes. His expression is melting into something cocky as if telling me he’d already figured me out. “I’m an ethical person, princess.” He shakes his head, sucking on his teeth, “I don't take offers where I get more than the other, and you don't make offers that put you at a disadvantage.”

I scoff, “Oh, my. Is Nikolai Lantsov willing to put morality over coin? Did coming back to court soften you up?” His eyes are boring straight into my soul at every word I spit out, “You’re a privateer, Nikolai. You took what you could get.”

His tone, however kind and sincere it sounded, was filled with stinging poison, “Correct. Privateers took what they could get, but I am a king now, and kings get whatever they desire.”

I cross my legs, smoothing over the wrinkles on my dress, “What’s your point, Nikolai?”

“You obviously have some sort of plan under this fake relationship proposal, and I’m trying to fish it out of you. There isn't any way you’d let me get so much in exchange for so little.” He kicks the leg of my seat so that I’m forced to face him, “So, it’s either we play this stubborn game of ours a little longer, or you just tell me what it is.”

If there was one thing worth noting about Nikolai, apart from his freakishly good looks and his sunlight hair that just has to be styled to perfection, it was that he was observant with anybody and everybody. He had such a keen eye that by the ripe age of 15, he could tell whenever I was lying or hiding something. The catch is? I don't have a tell. Or at least I think I don’t. I once looked him dead straight in the eyes, stating a lie so coherent it could've easily been the truth, and yet, he flashed me his childish, toothy grin, and pointed out my lie. 

Not even my own sisters or my own governesses knew how to figure me out, and the fact that Nikolai did never failed to get under my skin.

Slightly on edge, I mask my nervousness with a snarky comment, “Can never get anything past you, can’t I?

“So?”

“My papers are based on the theology of the Ravkan saints. The books I need for research are in the Apparat’s possession, as well as a bunch of scrolls from the palace’s restricted library.” I shrug, “Thought I’d have an easier access if I had a direct relation to you and the palace.”

Clearly pleased with my answer, Nikolai lightly taps on my cheek, the gloves’ leather rough against my skin, “That wasn't so hard, no?”

His gloved hands are stuffed back into the pockets of his coat as he walks back to his own seat, and I hope they sweat so bad that they stain through both his ridiculously expensive gloves and his ridiculously expensive coat. Insolent little peacock.

Nikolai is now clearly evaluating the deal I've given him, judging by the furrowed eyebrows and with constant nibbling of his bottom lip. He’s back in his seat from across the table, bouncing his knee ever so slightly. His actions are making me weirdly anxious even though I was confident he’d strike up the deal, and I imagine I've turned blue, vis-à-vis lack of breathing. 

"You’re going to get a deal, but on one condition.” He pauses before his lips curl up into a little Cheshire grin. "You have to say please."

—

Three weeks from now, our first plan would be set in motion. A massive party for the nobilities and the merchants to mingle amongst their pretentious little selves would be held inside the Grand Palace, right in the heart of Ravka. My family, of course, would be invited to see their youngest daughter hanging off the arm of the king. 

Very fortunately, I was allowed by the university to take a month-long vacation to Ravka, where I’d settle into a guest’s chambers every night. This new arrangement would ease the other people in the palace into our very fake relationship, however, it would mean that I’d have to spend every waking hour in his presence. That wasn't something I was looking forward to, but it was a sacrifice I was willing to make. However, Nikolai was a king—a tremendously busy one, at that— and it wasn't as if he’d go out of his way to spend time with his pretend girlfriend whom he surely hated: me.

I assume we are in Os Alta from the way my carriage ride goes from rattling to smooth. With this, I packed up the book inside my purse, and opened the carriage curtains to reveal the pinnacle of all gaudy monstrosities Ravkan architecture has birthed, the Grand Palace, and waiting for me in the entrance is Nikolai—

Wait. Huh?

Nikolai?

Why’s he there? 

“You gonna get down from there or you want me to carry you out?” Nikolai is leaning against the frame of the carriage door, “Hi, princess.”

I frown, taking his offered hand as I climb out, “What are you doing here?”

“Might come off as a shock, but I actually live here.” He answers, pure sarcasm seething out of his tongue. His other hand moves from behind his back, revealing a bouquet of snowdrops and native Ravkan flowers, all tied between fine strings of twine, “I sure hope you still like snowdrops.”

I take it from his hand. Given his track record, it wasn't all too surprising that Nikolai knew the basics of making bouquets look coherent and appealing, but he didn’t need to know that. He was plenty good in many other things already, “Not really your talent, is it? Flower arrangements?”

“And acting like a besotted little princess certainly isn't yours.” Nikolai pauses, gesturing to the multiple people around us, “A thank you would suffice.”

I look around, facing the palace servants and a few grisha looking at us with clear intent to figure out why the princess of Novyi Zem was here, and I remember that I was here to be his fake girlfriend, and not to annoy Nikolai into ripping out his hair, 

“Thank you,” I mumble begrudgingly. 

“Thank you… what?” He raises his eyebrows at me, waiting for an endearment.

I try not to throw up in my mouth, “Thank you, solnyshko.” I made a move to walk away into the doors, but I couldn’t get any farther away with Nikolai’s hand gripping on my waist, pulling me right back to him. A small gasp escapes my lips when his hands find their way on the small of my back, tracing circles while my hands are placed flat on his chest to stop myself from crashing into him.

Nikolai lowers his head and presses a kiss on my temple, whispering, “Try not to act so repulsed, princess, disgust doesn’t look that good on you.”

—

It’s been four days and we have not spent a single hour together. Normally, being away from Nikolai was something to be celebrated, but right now, I was his fake girlfriend, and his fake girlfriend did not enjoy the pity stares and gossip she was receiving from the servants and the grisha. Poor, naive princess waiting for the busy king’s attention.

Until now. 

Nikolai has invited me to dine with him and his friends tonight, and he seems excited about this, even doing as much as sending a personalized dress and pieces of emerald jewelry to my room. I find myself arriving earlier than what was said in the card, and Nikolai, ever so punctual, is alone on one of the chairs with a bouquet right next to him. He’s deep in thought and tapping his fingers on the table in a song I’m not very familiar with when I arrive. Nikolai shakes sober when he sees me, eyes scanning everything from my head to my toes, “Hi.”

“Well, hello.” I cross my arms, narrowing my eyes at him, “Finally decided to talk to me, have you?” 

“You’ve been waiting?” He’s grinning wicked, head lazily propped on his hand, “I know you’ve missed me, princess, but you don’t have to make it so obvious. "

Nikolai doesn’t have to stare to notice that today I’m not in the best mood today. 

He earns an eye roll from me when I chuck the bouquet out of his hand, “I miss not being the recipient of all the hot palace gossip, that’s what.” I scrutinize the flowers a little longer, “Good saints, Nikolai, these are wilted. Is this how you treat your lady?”

“Judging by the beautiful gown I had made for her and the jewelry hanging from her neck, I think I treat my lady quite well.” Nikolai gestures to the variety of beverages on the table, “A drink, darling?”

“What are my choices?”

“Yes or no.”

Sighing, I answer, “Whatever you’re having.”

Our conversation is cut short by the doors creaking, entering now are Nikolai’s friends. I’m glad to see familiar faces, namely Zoya and Genya who frequently visit Ketterdam to see me, and apparently some guy who runs the Crow Club downtown. The night is young, and while we eat, Genya makes small talk to entertain the group, “I hear Nikolai’s invited you to stay for the month, leading up to the party. What for?”

Nikolai is quick to answer, “We’re finally making it official to her family.”

Everybody has stopped their movements, either shocked or in the middle of processing the information. Did he not tell them beforehand?

“Official?” Tamar asks.

“We’re dating.”

Genya lifts an eyebrow, inquisitive, “You’ve been packed these last few days, Nikolai. Why didn't you tell us your girl was here? We could have cleared up your schedule!” She turns to me, “I hope he’s been spending enough time with you.”

“Well, he hasn't had the time to talk to me, let alone spend a few moments together.” I answer, plastering an obviously fake smile to get my point across, “But what can we do? Kolya has precious things occupying his day and it’s only unfortunate I’m not included.”

I see from the side of my eye that he’s seething with anger, hiding it under rapid slicing of the knife on his steak. It was only a matter of seconds before he talked, “If you didn't give me a headache every time you opened your mouth, maybe I would have made an effort to actually spend time with you.”

Oh.

I hear gasps from around the table, even from David, who has kept to himself all evening. The utensils dropping on the porcelain plates make screeches and clangs. Zoya is furious, brows furrowed with her tongue biting her cheek and Genya is constantly looking over at me to see how I would react.

I smile. A tight-lipped, tired smile.

Without a second thought, I abruptly get up from my chair. It makes a scandalous little screech that garners the attention of everybody in the room, including Nikolai’s, who is looking at me with a mixed expression of regret and anger.

“I don't wish to make your busy night harder for you, moi tsar. Have a good night, everybody.”

—

It’s deep into the ungodly hours of the night when I hear another knock from my door. I’ve been left to soak up my emotions, namely anger. Exhausted, I think of feigning sleep to let the person realize I wouldn't be getting up soon, but I do the opposite anyway, “A second, please!” I say, slipping on a silk robe. 

When I nudge the door open, it reveals Nikolai. Just great. Perfect.

“Can I come in?”

I decide to indulge in pettiness so I don’t say a word, only gesturing with my head.

He settles on leaning on my vanity table, taking a deep breath before softly letting out, “What’s wrong with you?” Nikolai doesn’t wait for an answer, “How are we supposed to be believable if you act like that when somebody even looks at us?”

“Look at us? They barely see us together, Nikolai.”

“They finally saw us together three hours ago and what did you do?” He works his jaw, “The moment you got an opportunity to talk about our arrangement and convince them we’re real, you tell every person with an ear to lend about how your own partner doesn’t give you the time of day.”   

Nikolai is off my vanity, walking towards me until I’m forced to take slower steps backward. His breathing is ragged and it’s obvious he’s trying his very best to stop whatever anger is boiling in his blood.

“How am I at fault here? The last time I checked, I wasn’t the one who let their partner have no company at all for four days.” I let a finger jab into his shoulder, “Have you heard the gossip, Nikolai? The servants all think I’m some stupid princess who forced her way into the castle for you to start giving me attention, and you’re making it all too real for them.”

“Tell me, then, smart girl. How was I supposed to react when you told them you think it’s unfortunate you weren’t important enough to occupy my day?”

“You were supposed to act your part as the charming king, telling his lady that he’d take time off for her and coddle her up until she was practically melting in his arms. You’re used to swooning people into taking a bullet for you, so what’s not clicking?”

Nikolai doesn’t say or do anything, instead, he walks closer and closer until my back hits the wall next to the door, eyes boring into me as if I’d committed a terrible crime until his expression breaks into something I was so very familiar with. He’s relaxed his jaw to give way to a forced smile like he’s clearly figured out what to do with me. I’m hoping it isn’t murder.

“You want my attention, princess? Fine.” He plants a hand above my head, he smells of brandy and that one ridiculously expensive perfume he likes so much and it’s overwhelming my senses. Has he been drinking? At this hour? How irresponsible. “Oh, you’ll get my attention alright.”

The way he’s towering over me is enough for my voice to catch on my throat, and I don’t say anything until I manage to get a small croak of, “Good.”

I can see his eyes flickering from mine to my lips before he turns away, reaching for the doorknob, “I’ll have handmaidens here by seven in the morning to prepare you.”

“What for?”

Nikolai sneaks a glance back at me, and the faint ghost of a smirk is on his lips, “You wanted attention, didn’t you?”

—

Right on the chime of the morning bell, about 12 handmaidens enter my room, Genya making her way in last. I see them carrying boxes, which I can only assume are dresses, and my suspicions are proven when they lay them out on the table, revealing gorgeous fabrics of various colors and embellishments. “I saw Nikolai make his way to your room late last night. Must’ve done more than just reconcile if you’re still asleep at this time.” she lifts a brow suggestively, poking at my arm.

“Give me a break, Genya. It’s like seven in the morning.” I groan out, trying to block out the light from the windows, “What’s with all the dresses?”

“The king had them made just for you.” Genya drags me by the arm, “Now, get up, because you have to meet with him in exactly two hours, and Nikolai does not like to wait.”

True to her word, Nikolai was waiting in his private dining hall at nine in the morning, “Hi, pretty. I see you’re wearing the dress I sent you.”

I shrug, taking a seat across from him. The scene is dramatically similar to when we made our deal, and I stifle a laugh at how stupid we must look: begrudgingly sitting across from each other with daggers for eyes, “What are you planning, Nikolai?”

“I’ve taken time off from my kingly duties, and I’m planning to coddle my lady until she practically melts in my arms.” He directly quotes me from last night, sending over a mischievous grin, “Since she wanted the attention so bad, today she’ll find her fill of it.”

He certainly wasn’t lying. 

Nikolai’s brought me around the Little Palace, parading me around the most crowded of hallways and courtyards with his hand settled on my waist, squeezing on it ever so lightly when somebody greets us. He tells the trainers he’s in here to overlook how the new training regiment is performing but spends more time planting kisses on my head and fixing my hair than actually looking at his Grishas train. It’s obvious he’s overplaying his role, out of spite or not, but after yesterday, I’m sure I shouldn’t be in any position to complain.

When we are asked to join them for lunch, Nikolai doesn’t hesitate to take them up on their offer, immediately following them onto the dinner hall. Two seats up front are reserved for us, and he pulls my chair closer to his when I sit down, “Princess, how far are you from melting in my arms?”

Near, actually. I’m not the most used to public affection and I’m one forehead kiss away from fainting into the cold, dark earth, but Nikolai didn’t need the satisfaction of knowing he’d put me into such a condition.

“Very far. I feel bad for your future wife if this was your best shot at it.”

He laughs, “You’re damn hard to please, aren’t you? This isn’t enough coddling for you?”

I never liked acknowledging that Nikolai’s smile was pleasant to look at, so I turn away from him when I sip into my glass of kvas, “You did say I was hard to please.”

“Then, I hope this’ll suffice.” 

Nikolai pulls me into him and presses a kiss on my mouth, and all of my senses are focusing on him and him only. I can feel him smiling into it, his fingers splayed out on my waist, and perfume’s scent is rendering me weak in my knees.

I try to shake myself sober from the desire to pull him in, instead placing a hand on his chest to push him away lightly. I can see him shift his gaze from me to the crowd of people who are doing a bad job of trying not to stare at us. His eyes are back on me and he subtly licks at his lips, breathing heavy, “You taste like kvas, princess.”

—

Nikolai was a true romantic, and I hated it with all my whole being. I regret ever complaining about how much he didn't take the deal seriously, because I’d sure take that over trying not to burn red every time he showed me some type of attention. He constantly brings me to dinners where he’d lace his fingers with mine, drawing incoherent letters and shapes on my hand while he had small talk with one of his advisors, pulling me away when he wanted to have an early night and brushing away the stray hair on my face when I was busy scribbling off on my notebook. I’d try my best to not flush red, occasionally hiding away to collect whatever was left of my sanity that chipped away at every forehead kiss he’d give me whenever I fixed his hair or his clothes. Butterflies started to burst into my stomach, and every day I do my best to swat them all dead and remind myself that this was an act and nothing more.

Slowly, the things we were only supposed to show in public turned into things we subconsciously did in private, and that terrified me.

I start to seek refuge inside the libraries Nikolai promised me in the deal, avoiding his presence more often than usual. Focusing on my papers would help sober my mind from constantly thinking of Nikolai’s annoyingly soft kisses and his even more annoyingly pretty smile and possibly even save myself the embarrassment I’d face if he saw me like this. It’s nearing eleven in the evening when I decide to take a small break from writing, cracking my knuckles until my fingers feel somewhat sore. It was also nearing eleven in the evening when I hear a familiar voice calling out my name in a soft sigh, “I haven’t seen you all day.”

Oh no.

“You’re a mess, Nikolai. Look at you.” I lean back to get a good look at him.

He’s dragged a chair opposite mine, settling down on it rather slouched. Nikolai’s tousled mess of hair is juxtaposed by his pressed, kingly clothing, and my body betrays me when I reach out to him, running my hand over his hair to push it back from his forehead. My actions have surprised us both, and I try to salvage the silence with the clearing of my throat, “What brings you here?”

“You, clearly.” He answers nonchalantly, “Since when do you hide out in a dusty library for hours?”

I take a second to answer and I raise my eyebrow, giving him an amused smile, “Don’t tell me you’ve missed me, Nikolai.”

There’s a glint in his eyes, “And what if I did?”

“Then, you’d be a liar.”

Nikolai takes it upon himself to stand and loom over my chair, anchoring himself on an arm pressed on the back of my seat, “Oh, milaya moya, I’m many things, but I’m certainly not a liar.” He leans down further, and I’m reminded of the reason I hide in the eerie library aisles. My breath hitches when he speaks again, “And stop flattering yourself. We have fittings in three days for the party.”

—

The fittings took quite a bit of time, and by the last day, Nikolai and I were invited to try on what we were made to wear for the ball. Both of our clothes are pulled in on a mannequin, and we are equally in awe of what they made in a few days’ time. Nikolai’s presented with a gold and blue court tunic with delicate embroidery and a sash. My off-shoulder gown resembles Nikolai’s tunic colors, black embroidery extending under my black corset. My corset is the last thing to fix in my perfect-fitting dress, and it’s impossible to do alone. I try my best to do whatever feels right, and I know it’s taking me a long time when Nikolai shouts out from the outside, “Princess? What’s taking you so long?”

“It’s my corset.” I mumble, rolling my shoulders, “Unless you’re here to help, I suggest giving me a minute or two.”

He knocks, “Come here. I’ll tie it up.”

I push the heavy doors apart with some struggle, and Nikolai is staring, rather wide-eyed when he sees me. His arms are crossed when he walks over, nodding in satisfaction, “You look beautiful in Lantsov colors.”

I turn around to let him grab at the lace of my corset, “I look beautiful in anything.” 

“Of course.” He works his way from the top laces. 

I understand I underestimated the proximity this puts us in when I feel his breathing on my neck when he moves his fingers around the laces, splaying his fingers on the small of my back. I groan when he suddenly tightens it, “Too tight?” He asks. It takes him a few minutes to figure it out, and when he finally does, he lays his hands on the smooth surface of the corset on my waist for a few minutes, “The gold brings out the spite in your eyes.”

“Charming.” 

—

Today, I’ve woken up earlier than usual to prepare for the ball everyone’s anticipating. I’m sitting on my vanity when handmaidens enter my room, with them the gown from yesterday in tow. Upon laying my eyes on the corset, I remember Nikolai’s hand on my waist and I try to pull myself away from the thoughts in my head. I couldn’t afford to think these things, not when I’m supposed to spend hours of him doting on me for show. It would be too dangerous of a game, and I wasn’t exactly the person to dabble in risks. Counting down is the only thing I can do to keep my nerves in check, and it doesn’t provide much help when my heart starts to pound in my ear a few minutes before Nikolai knocks on my door to fetch me.

We are a hallway away from the venue when he stops, reaching for my hand. There’s a gold-band ring on his thumb with an uncut emerald, and he’s carrying an identical one on his other hand, “Just so they know.” And with that, he slips it on my thumb and drags me inside.

I’m quite pleased about how well the party is going. People are fooled by our show, and they’ve been tirelessly asking about our matching clothes and jewelry, intrigued about how this relationship between the youngest Zemeni princess and the Ravkan king bloomed, and I do my job well, gushing about it like it wasn’t just an act we put on.

 I’ve also come to introduce Nikolai to my family, who are all gasping and clutching their pearls, “Is this why you haven’t sent letters this past month? You’ve been spending all your time here in Os Alta!” My mother says in fast Zemini, “And with little Nikolai too, no less.”

“I can assure your daughter’s been enjoying yourself, Your Highness.” He answers her in perfect Zemeni, flashing a charming smile before he bows, “She’s finding solace in one of our many libraries.”

“We never thought you two would come to terms with your feelings. Especially with our little girl here, who was practically glowing red when you two entered the room.” My mother pokes at my arm, “Sweet girl. What has he been doing to you to have you all shy?”

I stutter out an answer, and when no words escape my mouth, I pull Nikolai away from my parents.

“Shy, princess? Did I hear that right?” He laughs, letting himself be dragged off.

“No.” I pant. Nikolai wasn’t exactly a feather, “Now, go. Fool more people.”

“Alright, alright. No need to get pushy.”

Nikolai must’ve been fooling a whole nation because it’s been a good hour since I’ve seen him. I’m growing tired, so I decide to find drinks to sustain me for at least a few more hours. There, I see the boy I’ve been looking for, and… with another princess, too. He’s standing over a glass of brandy with her, and it seems like he’s enjoying his time. I could feel an ugly boiling of emotion at the bottom of my stomach, and my face contorts into something of obvious disgust.

Oh no. No, no, no. This wasn’t happening. I wasn’t feeling this way. Not for him, no.

Nikolai sees me and he excuses himself promptly from the princess, who I’ve identified now as the Shu princess. “Hi, pretty.” He lifts my knuckles up to his lips, “Is there anything you need?”

“You,” I jab a finger at him subtly, holding him at the arm, “are coming with me.”

When we arrive at a secluded room, I push him against the door. “Bold, aren’t we?” He says.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing? What are my parents gonna think if they see you chatting up the Shu princess who is clearly interested in you?” I hold him by the collar, “I know you aren’t the most delighted to be seen with me, but save me the shame, Nikolai.”

Nikolai is peering down on me, reading the expression plastered on my face, and his expression of confusion is melting into something of a knowing little smile, “Are you jealous?”

“Obviously not!” I chew at my bottom lip, crossing my arms defensively after such an accusation.

“Stop lying to me. I can tell when you are and you know that.” Nikolai shakes his head, taking me by the waist so that I’m the one against the door, “You think you don’t have a tell, but you do, and I’m rather elated I’m the only one that knows what it is because that means,” He says slowly, tone enticing, “I’m the only one that’s so constantly looking at your lips.”

I look up at him and glare, eyebrows furrowed, “So what if I were jealous? It’s not like it would matter, wouldn’t it? This is just an act we put on for both of our benefits.”

“You’re a stubborn girl, aren’t you?” Nikolai sighs, dragging his hand lower on the door, “I look at you like you hung the stars, the moon, and every celestial body in the night sky, and you’re telling me you think I’m just putting on an act? Good saints, princess, they told me you were smart.”

“You… were flirting with her.” 

“And I kissed you in front of the whole Little Palace.” He lowers himself down to meet with my eyes, “I wasn’t flirting with her. She was, but not me.” He cocks his head to the side, grinning, “Why don’t we save ourselves the embarrassment of admitting to everybody this was all fake, and allow me to actually take you on a proper date?”

“I suppose that would be fine.” I turn my head to the side, unable to retain eye contact. His hand is tilting my face back at him, “Oh, no, no. We’re well past the point of being shy, I think.”

“You are impossible.” I try to muster a poisonous voice but my eyes betray me when it flickers between his eyes and his lips. Saints, his pretty lips, and his pretty smile. I hate him for what he’s doing to me, and yet somehow I’d hate it even more if he were doing this with anybody else. 

I don’t have to look at him to know he’s reading me, figuring me out like I’m his favorite puzzle. “Far from that.” Nikolai presses a soft kiss on my mouth. I return it almost immediately, pulling him in by the hem of his tunic. Nikolai runs his tongue on my bottom lip before he pulls away, leaning in to get another on my jaw, “I’m improbable, princess.”