#and he gets a harem of hot babes who want his babies

[djsherriff-responses]

Search results for Captain Laserhawk be like:

[wernher-von-brawny]

Winter 2023 Faves

So, this was a season.

Nothing wrinkled my brain – No Bocci or Do It Yourself!! – but these were enjoyable company with my morning muffin. No ranking this time, but here’s my top four:

Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

(Campfire Cooking in Another World with My Absurd Skill) AKA A Boy and His Dog: The Isekai

An isekai’d salaryman whose superpower is an Amazon account – I kinda think this is what The Shield Hero should have been.

I’m a sucker for great animal sidekicks, and Veldora, I mean Fenrir the super-wolf is absolutely adorable, no matter how obnoxious. And who can forget rat boy, I mean baby slime? If you’re gonna Rimiru, then female child soldier/swiss army knife is an another adorable merchandising opportunity.

And extra points for the cooking tips, but all your wyvern stew and orc-burgers made my chicken nuggets and buttered noodles feel even more like peasant food.

They handled the repeating gags well, and all the characters from goddesses to butchers are well written. But Ash Ketchum (or whatever he’s called in this show) needs to grow a damn pair.

Kyuuketsuki Sugu Shinu 2nd Season

(The Vampire Dies in No Time 2nd Season) AKA Stupid, Stupid Vampire

In a stronger season, this would have been a Returning Champion, but in Winter 2023, being such a solid player bumped it into the leaderboard.

Always amusing and queer and weird and I like everybody in it. I think it had already found its groove in season 1, but the S2 opening titles were WAY better. Like, I would sometimes actually watch them instead of skipping.

It always left me smiling, and I hope we get a season 3.

Rougo ni Sonaete Isekai de 8-manmai no Kinka wo Tamemasu

(Saving 80,000 Gold in Another World for My Retirement) AKA Isekai Lesbian Capitalist

More like Little Orphan Anime, am I right? 😃 Or maybe The Legend of Tanya The Merchant.

I sometimes got too busy to keep up with all the shows, but this one kept me coming back week after week.

On the one hand, I can see where they painted over what'sername from Bookworm, but on the other, I don’t care.

I was amused by how the world would bend implausibly to conform to our Mary Sue’s ambitions. The king just shows up unannounced at a restaurant to foil the machinations of an evil merchant? Sure, babe. I think I saw that same thing in an old episode of Three’s Company.

IDK if we’ll see more of her, but she’s my imaginary friend, and I’m glad she her dukedom got.

Benriya Saitou-san, Isekai ni Iku

(Handyman Saitou in Another World) AKA I Had To Die and Be Reincarnated In Another World To Finally Get Some Fucking Appreciation

I was surprised by how quickly I fell for this. I think I needed something to take the place of Picking Up Girls In Dungeons, and this satisfied. Plus, dick jokes!

I also liked how it would mix it up between short four panel gags and longer arcs. Fave found family show of the season.

The rest of my watch list:

Isekai Will Never Die:

Isekai Nonbiri Nouka (Farming life in another world) AKA What If Superman Was A Farmer?: Harem Isekai AKA Indolence Is Sin: Part 2

Isekai Ojisan (Isekai Uncle) AKA I’m You But Better, You Fucking Neet

Kami-tachi ni Hirowareta Otoko 2nd Season (By the Grace of the Gods 2nd Season) AKA Isekai Slime Tamer AKA Indolence Is Sin: Part 1

Shin Shinka no Mi: Shiranai Uchi ni Kachigumi Jinsei (The Fruit of Evolution: Before I Knew It, My Life Had It Made 2nd Season) AKA My Kawaii Gorilla Wife: The Isekai

Tensei Oujo to Tensai Reijou no Mahou Kakumei (The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady) AKA Isekai Lesbian Princess and Her Harem

Wholesome and Adorable:

Itai no wa Iya nano de Bougyoryoku ni Kyokufuri Shitai to Omoimasu 2nd Season (I Don’t Want to Get Hurt, so I’ll Max Out My Defense 2nd Season) AKA VR Is Life

Sugar Apple Fairy Tale AKA A Girl and Her Hot Elf Tsundere AKA Medieval Fruits Baskets

Tomo-chan wa Onnanoko! (Tomo Chan is a Girl!) AKA My Dude, Just Make Your Fucking Move Already!!!

Tsundere Akuyaku Reijou Liselotte to Jikkyou no Endou-kun to Kaisetsu no (Endo and Kobayashi Live! The Latest on Tsundere Villainess Lieselotte) AKA My Dude, She’s Sitting Right Next To You, Make Your Fucking Move Already!!!

Edgelords Assemble!:

Hyouken no Majutsushi ga Sekai wo Suberu (The Iceblade Sorcerer Shall Rule the World) AKA Dorm Room Workout Bros: No Homo

Kage no Jitsuryokusha ni Naritakute! (The Eminence in Shadow) AKA Isekai Edgelord: Utlimate

Ningen Fushin no Boukensha-tachi ga Sekai wo Sukuu you desu (Adventurers Who Don’t Believe in Humanity Will Save The World) AKA The Emo Quartet and Their Talking Sword

Returning Champions:

Several second seasons, but nothing that qualifies as a “Returning Champion”. Picking Up Girls In Dungeons or Hero Academia might have been included, but for the fact I’ve lost interest in them and stopped watching.

Pour One Out For Interspecies Reviewers:

Oniichan wa Oshimai! (Onimai: I’m Now Your Sister!) AKA Eromanga Sensei 2nd Season - This was animated with so much love – of boobies!!! (hehehe) But seriously, mad love to all my eroanime senseis out there. Your commitment to never half-assing the job of making beautifully drawn sex farces is greatly appreciated. You are doing God’s work.

And one for my “Definitely Eventually Watch” list:

Lupin Zero AKA Lupin: Year One

[hadtochangeuserbecauseimparanoid]

I was already okay with me and my baby having a harem but after meeting the bois and watching highschool dxd with em, an anime that babe watched at 13 that he figures out he kinda wanted a harem from, I am even moreso comfortable with it because even the dude in it has a fave but still loves the other chicks. Moreso we plan to have like, a fwb situation until/ through them finding their own main partners, and if we/they wanna continue with them and their partner cool beans. One condition he has to freeze sperm and get snipped bc I'm the only one who can have his kids (unless we break up then hell have some frozen just in case for that too).

I have immeasurable trust in my baby and him getting pleasure regardless is hot to me, we already have wanted a third+ for a while now but once we move out I know exactly in what way he wants to add partners now that I've watched that anime, and I can genuinely only see benifits from it. We ofc will also add dudes too eventually but I've also expressed I'm so more than okay with starting with a female since he ofc trusts me but I know his past he would be healthier if we brought a chick in and made a baseline of what's allowed and what's not with that first, so I can go off of that example when introducing a dude eventually.

[superhero--imagines]

A/N: Sorry, but this has been living in my brain rent free too, my commission info is here

* Honey if you’re tall with a big butt-

* You’ve got his heart the second he lays eyes on you

* Like everything he is and everything he will be -

* Baby you can have it all if you’ll agree to be his

* If you’re not tall with a big butt, well don’t worry Yuuji’s still going to adore you it just takes a little time

* It’s not so much because he doesn’t think your smoking hot or anything-

* It’s just, well, Yuji’s kinda dumb

* So anyone outside of his immediate go-to type, it just doesn’t register in his brain

* You can bet your ass he’ll say dumb crap like-

* “Friends can hold hands right?”

* Or

* “Friends kiss sometimes, no big deal!”

* But don’t worry babe, it might take a little while, but eventually he’ll notice all these feelings he’s been categorizing as “friendly” feelings and “positive” feelings are actually Romantic feelings

* Once he finally figures it out, you won’t have to wait long-

* “Oi, (Y/N/N), want to be my lover?”

* Like seriously, not even a second after he has this ‘monumental’ realization

* After that things are pretty easy between you two

* It’s not like much has changed, he’s still your friend, and he doesn’t act any different-

* You guys were holding hands and, apparently, kissing before you were officially dating

* It’s not even that he’s greedy with the way he touches you or anything-

* I think the only thing that does change is that Yuji makes an effort to spend more time with you

* “Oi, wanna go to Shibuya this weekend? There’s a Taiyaki store I’m dying to go too”

* He makes an effort to spend time with you even when he’s not around, like sending you texts and voicemails when he’s away

* Part of the reason he’s so insistent on spending as much time with you as possible is probably because he’s not sure how much time he has left

* I think, Yuji is a really simple guy who sees the good in everyone, so he’s also kind of attracted to anyone given the right circumstances

* But I think, he especially wants someone compassionate

* Someone who will hold him during depressive episodes where he’ll wonder- what if I hadn’t joined the occult club? What if he had played track like everyone wanted? What if he had just minded his own business

* What if Megumi hadn’t followed him to the hospital that day, how different would his life be right now

* And it’s the same regret and remorse that fuels his cursed energy, but for some reason it feels like it’s magnified right now

* It feels like he might drown in this despair

* During those days you just hold him, whispering good things about the world.

* Soft things that’ll help him right now-

* Something to give him hope

* “Hot tea on a cold day” you whisper

* “The feeling of basking in sunlight after a cloudy day”

* There’s a moment of silence as you think of something else to say

* “The smell of rain, and fresh cut grass” he’ll mumble back, and you grin

* “Getting Taiyaki in Shibuya with someone you love” you reply with a grin

* “With ice cream filling and boba?”

* You laugh, what a weird combination

* “Anything you want”

* Yuji’s not the one that’s hard to get along with tbh, the one you have trouble with is Sukuna

* “You know you’ll never save him, I don’t know why you’re trying so hard”

* You would hit Sukuna if it didn’t mean slapping Yuji’s cheek too

* “Shut up what do you know”

* Honestly Yuuji’s a little surprised at the hatred Sukuna shows you

* “Shouldn’t you be happy they’re around?”

* For one because you’re around there’s been more *clears throat* romantic incidents, which of course always leave Yuji in a pretty vulnerable state

* He’s only an orgasm away from having Sukuna take over tbh

* And besides-

* You’re his weakness

* They say the sun is 92 million miles away, but he swears his sun is walking in front of him on the in Shibuya, his hand held firmly in yours

* If anything ever happened to you-

* He wouldn’t be able to live with himself, he wouldn’t be able to go on anymore.

* And that’s when the curse that lives inside him wins

* So he really doesn’t get why Sukuna’s acting like this is the worst thing to ever happen to him

* Sukuna opens an eye on Yuji’s cheek

* “I hate their kind most of all, even more than Jujutsu Sorcerers” he grumbles

* He really does hate you-

* He hates that you’re kind

* He saw your type all the time at his harem, some lowly thing relatives had sold off for money and honor-

* Or a prize from a nation he conquered

* Some dumb creature that thought you would get a reward for sacrificing yourself

* Truly idiotic

* The worst part is he’s starting to like those little fantasy’s you spin for Yuji

* He can feel the sunlight warning his skin after a cold day

* He can taste the heavy condensation of the steam that wafts off of his cup of tea, brushing against his face. The heat in direct contrast to the cold winter air

* And it hurts him to know he probably won’t feel like that again, not for a long time

* Not with you helping Yuji work through his negative feelings like you do

* So he hates you

* He hides his contempt in general, it only leaks out through an occasional insult

* “Where’s your kindness now?” He’ll jeer when you’re having a bad day

* Only for Yuuji to smack his cheek to get him to shut up

* “Ah, don’t pay any attention to him. He’s just grumpy”

* For the most part it’s nothing you can’t handle

* Really you kind of forget he’s there most of the time, until one day you see Sukuna pop out and take a bite of your Taiyaki as you hold it out to Yuji who said he wanted to taste the flavor

* “Oi that was mine!” Yuji screeches, slapping his own face while Sukuna smiles from his hand

* “You just like torturing me don’t you?” He weeps, and you offer him sympathetic pats on the back, giving him another bit of your Taiyaki

* He continues on about how Sukuna just loves to torment him, and honestly why can’t they get along when they share a body

* But your mind is elsewhere

* The next time Sikuna see’s you is when Yuji’s sleeping, the damn brat snores so loud he’s considering throttling him just to get some peace and quiet

* That’s when he hears the door creak, seeing you curling inside around it, a plastic bag in hand

* Great, the perfect end to the perfect day

* “The brats sleeping” Sukuna grumbles from Yuji’s hand-

* He would have spoken from his face but the only thing more annoying than having to deal with Yuji’s snores is having to hear the lovey-dovey crap tumble from his lips when he talks to you

* He figures you’ll leave, or maybe curl up against Yuji on the bed but instead you kneel down, your hand dipping into the plastic bag

* “I’m not here for him,” you start pulling out a Taiyaki.

* “You wanted one right?” That’s why he took a bite, because he wanted to try it too

* Though, annoying Yuji was probably an added bonus

* You hold up the Taiyaki to Sukuna’s ‘mouth’

* And he’s overcome with emotion

* It’s not like he hasn’t had concubines from his harem feed him a great number of things before -

* Like he hasn’t ever felt the tender act from one of his many lovers -

* So he hates that you’re the one that’s bringing out all these emotions in him

* And as he takes a bite from the Taiyaki he finally admits it-

* If you were in his harem, a moronic kind fool like you were one of his lovers

* You would be his favorite

* And that’s why he hates you so much

* Because just like Yuji, you’re his weakness

* “It’s not the same flavor” he mumbles

* “Sorry I couldn’t get the ice cream, it would have melted on the way here-“

* Sukuna wouldn’t have minded one bit licking the cream from your fingers, maybe he would even catch that embarrassed face you always make with the damn brat

* “So I got you a custard one, and a chocolate one, and on the off chance you weren’t in the mood for something sweet I got you a curry filled one too”

* You stumble, hand flying into the bag to pull out the other two, holding them up to him

* And despite himself, Sukuna finds the sight quite...cute

* “Well, I suppose these offerings will do for now wench” And his words are harsh, but you smile like the kindhearted fool you are.

* And that’s how Yuji starts getting pestered for “just five minutes alone with their baby”

* “Scared I’ll show them a better time than you can?” Sukuna grins

* Of course he is! Sukuna had a literal harem of lovers. Who knows what kinds of techniques he knows

* But Yuji’s pride won’t let him admit it

* Yuji scoffs

* “I’d rather die again then let you come anywhere near them”

* It’s kind like you’ve got two boyfriends

* One pink haired one that’s the literal personification of sunshine

* And another, more dark and sadistic one

* And it’s sort of a funky little relationship

* But it’s yours

* “I wouldn’t trade you for anything in the world” you whisper.

* Your lips brushing against his

* Yuji wouldn’t trade you for anything either

* He loves you ❤️

[holylulusworld]

Hated Love 3 - Post-wedding apocalypse

Summary: Will your wedding become a dream or a nightmare?

Pairing: Mobster!Dean x Mobster!Daughter!Reader

Characters: Sam Winchester, Ruby

Warnings: angst, love-hate relationship, Dean hates the reader, and she hates him, language, snarky comments, arguments, smut, public sex, unprotected sex, arranged marriage, food play, anal play (not really; does eating pie off a butt count?), implied threesome (mentioned/and implied)

Kink: Foodplay

A/N: Y/F/N = Your father’s name

Catch up here:

Part 1 - Hated Love

Part 2 - Hated Love – The Reckoning

Kinktober 2020

Wedding days should be filled with laughter, cake, white dresses, and people crying as they watch the bride and groom confess their love for each other.

Wedding days shouldn’t be filled with odd noises coming out of the bride’s room right before the ceremony.

“Look at you, filled to your limit,” Dean purrs, holding your body against the wall.

He’s driving wildly into you, not caring anyone who passes your room can hear he broke your fathers’ rule to not see you before the wedding.

“Missed this tight little pussy. Your father is an idiot for believing he can keep me away from my girl.”

“I’m, fuck me, not your girl, Winchester,” your eyes roll back at the way Dean grips your ass to fuck up into you. “Did you forget that I’m your fiancé?”

“Never, sweetheart,” Dean grins, rolling his hips faster. “How could I ever forget I’m allowed to fuck you anytime I want to from now on.”

“Already daydreaming?” you laugh when someone knocks at your door, to tell you that the ceremony will start in ten minutes. “Faster, Dean. I want to cum before I agree to marry your sorry ass.”

Dean tries to fix your dress while you fight with your hair. “The zipper, I think it’s ruined,” you groan at Dean’s words, adding another bobby pin to your hair. “Do you have a clasp pin?”

You would laugh about Dean, even find it adorable he tries to fix your dress but not three rooms away your families wait for you to attend a wedding – your wedding.

“Dean, you can’t use a clasp pin to fix my wedding gown! Why did you have to rip it down my body? Jesus, I swear you’re a kinky bastard,” Dean grins, nodding eagerly whilst his hands creep toward your ass to squeeze it tightly.

“Guys, you should stop doing whatever you are doing and move your asses outside. Y/N’s father is close to starting a war. John is no better. I can tell, I never saw Y/F/N that mad,” Sam calls from outside the room, snickering. “Dean, stuff it back inside and hurry.”

“I ruined her dress,” Dean curses, still fighting with the zipper. “Do you have a safety pin? Or a jacket she can wear?”

“Wait, I’ll ask Ruby. Maybe she can help Y/N out. Just wait here,” you roll your eyes at Dean when he tries to repair your dress with a bobby pin.

“Dean, stop trying,” a deep sigh leaves your lips, realizing this could be a sign. “Maybe we shouldn’t marry. For years we hated each other and now you want to marry me.” Dean has the guts to smirk at your words.

“Oh sweetheart, you are mine and I intend on collecting,” he husks, grabbing the back of your neck to kiss you fiercely. His tongue slips inside your mouth to explore every inch of your wet cavern. “I will not let you slip through my fingers again, Y/N. Now be good, get out of that dress and we will try to fix it.”

“If not,” you grin, sliding your hand over Dean’s chest, “I can still marry you in nothing but my underwear…”

“Perfect, Ruby,” you smile, checking on your wedding gown. “Where did you learn to sew? I never thought you would be the one saving my dress.”

“Let’s say Sam likes to rip my clothes off my body too. I hated that I had to explain why my clothes got ripped open almost every week,” Dean snickers, watching Sam’s cheeks turn pink. “Don’t act all shy now, Winchester.”

“I know you would like to talk about my sex life some more, but we should not wait any longer or Y/N’s father will lose his patience. I think he already checked on his gun,” Sam tries to turn your attention back toward your wedding.

“I guess it’s time for a wedding,” you smirk, holding out your hand for Dean. “Don’t you think I’ll let you out of sight, Winchester. I don’t need a runaway groom.”

“Damn, I forgot my sneakers,” Dean grins, taking your offered hand to squeeze it tightly. “No one will stop me from marrying your cute ass, sweetheart.”

The ceremony is short, honest, and filled with insults. Which means you called Dean a humorless jerk. He called you a frigid bitch. You exchanged rings and swore to each other not to stray.

Whilst John grinned throughout the whole ceremony, even dared to laugh, your father remained stoic. He didn’t like you acted as if the ceremony or rather the whole wedding is a joke to you and Dean.

Your father’s mood didn’t get any better when you insisted that the wedding was perfect to you. Even though you laughed, joked, and threw insults at your husband, it was the wedding you wanted.

The after-party, or as you liked to call it, the desperate people buffet who look for someone to fuck after a wedding, went on until 2 am. Your father grumbled the whole time, not missing John was in a good mood.

When the last guest finally left the ballroom you kicked your shoes off, grabbed the last piece of cake, and pushed it into Dean’s face.You laughed your ass off, he wasn’t amused.

That’s how you ended up, bend over the table with the cake, hands tied tightly behind your back with Dean’s tie whilst your husband smears the cake all over your ass.

“You should see your ass, baby. Ready to get eaten,” you gasp, feeling his teeth sink into your left cheek to leave an angry bite mark. “What will your daddy say when I send him a copy of the video?”

“He’ll believe I married a kinky bastard who likes to smear cake onto my butt,” you giggle, feeling his fingers slide through your folds. “No cake on my pussy or you’ll lose your dick.”

“Shhh…, sweetheart,” Dean smirks, licking more cake off your ass, moaning as you press your butt into his face. “I’d like to take your ass.”

“No,” you grit out when Dean’s teeth leave another mark on your right cheek. “Not now, Dean. I want you to fuck me on that table. Give me the perfect ending.”

“Babe, you’ll get anything you want but I already chased you through the ballroom. We had a food fight and now I’m going to fuck the life out of you,” Dean smirks, feeling wetness coat his fingers.

“I want your dick, Winchester. Give it to me,” you complain. “I’m your wife, fulfill your duty,” laughing at your words Dean gets up to slowly unzip his pants. His dick slaps against your ass and you whine feeling Dean step away from the table to take another picture.

“I must admit I never imagined our wedding like this,” Dean is back on you. This time he slightly lifts your butt to slide into you with one forceful snap of his hips.

“Dean,” you cry out, walls clenching tightly around his thick cock. “Fuck me, please.”

“Love it when you beg me, Y/N,” if not for the pressure he builds in your core with every sloppy thrust, you would gladly slap his face. “Love it, even more, when you moan my name.”

“Dean, fuck,” one hand cups the back of your neck to hold you forcefully down, the other grips the edge of the table. Dean speeds up, ignores his phone started to ring moments ago. “Dean, the phone.”

“Later, sweetheart,” his moans turn louder, and you swear, it’s the most erotic sound you ever heard. You don’t know how the sex feels to Dean but the way he calls out your name gives away he enjoys it as much as you do.

“It won’t stop ringing,” he’s angrily grasping for the phone, to yell at anyone who dared to disturb him. “Dean…”

“Shit give me just a minute,” you feel the knot tightening, ready to snap anytime when Dean speeds up once again. “I need to tell you something,” he pants, dropping the phone onto the table. “I guess you’ll not like it.”

“Make me cum and we can talk about anything, Dean,” falling hard you rest your head onto the table. “Come on, Winchester. Give it to me good.”

Dean groans at your words, not needing more encouragement to fill you with his sticky cum. He’s fast to pull out.

“Promise me to not get mad.” You cock a brow when Dean removes the tie, offering you a sly smile.

“What did you do, Winchester?” He’s grinning cheekily whilst he hands you his jacket to cover your modesty. “Dean?”

“You see…erm-uh,” he coughs, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. “Do you remember Vegas a few years ago?”

“Vague. I know we woke in a bed…with Sam,” you hum, closing your eyes. “I think it was a hot mess back then. Why do you bring Sammy up?”

“Well, it’s kinda – whew, there is no good way to tell you,” eyes narrowed you fist Dean’s shirt to bring him to your eye level.

“Jesus, tell me what’s wrong. I’m freaking tired and want to drive home, maybe smear more cake onto my husband and lick it off,” Dean huffs, glancing at you. “Dean, you are scaring me.”

“Okay…let me tell you what happened in Vegas didn’t stay in Vegas. Somehow, and I don’t know how it happened, you did not only fuck me and Sammy, but you also married my brother. The marriage never got anulled, and this means you are still married to my brother,” Dean gasps for air when he finally stops talking. “Sorry.”

“What the…?” you blink a few times. “Wait…what? I’m married to Sam?” Dean nods, not missing the dirty grin on your lips. “Does this mean I can have both of you? I always dreamed of having a harem…”

Dean’s jaw drops when you grasp for his phone to send the video he made to Sam.

“Ruby said he can go to hell. I think my baby brother is lonely and heartbroken. Sammy is at your daddy’s house. Imagine, having us both in your room for daddy to hear…” Dean can barely end his line before you drag him out of the ballroom.

“This is the best wedding ever…”

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[reversecreek]

ziggy strutting up to me like this gif as i hold up a crucifix n say begone begone vile beast BEGONE from my vicinity i will NOT buy u a happy meal wretched little boy...... some live action rp to start this off..... and SCENE. takes my bow. his pinterest is here n his playlist is here.

* dylan minnette, cis male + he/him  | you know ziggy benson, right? they’re twenty-four, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of his life? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to hand crushed by a mallet by 100 gecs like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole glitching televisions impaled by remotes, nonchalantly texting the babes as a stove fire ravages your kitchen & cartoons turned up so loud it fries your eardrums thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is november 24th, so they’re a sagittarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt she/her  )

HISTORY;

from the second ziggy ws born he didnt stop screaming. within the first hours of his life he gave his father an ear splitting headache tht prompted him to say “that uncooked chicken’s fucking demonic” n joke abt popping “it” in the oven to roast. when this understandably received disgusted glances frm the nursing staff he ws all like “jeez alright alright i’m kiddin i’m kiddin can’t a guy have a joke around here?” n i feel like that sets up their dynamic so nice n sweetly <3 (sarcasm) (lips pursed)

frm day one he ws just honestly a rly hyperactive child. when he laughed he’d shriek it out at the absolute top of his lungs bc he’d just get this huge giddy surge of energy all the way to the very tips of his toes n it’d hit him like a shock from a fork in a plug socket. their parenting style ws rly just lazy tbh.... they didn’t have much time for disciplining him. ziggy’s mum wld halfheartedly be like “ziggy quiet now....” n then go bk to nuking whatever vegetables she’d defrosted until they tasted like dinosaur bones..... this wld not make any difference in ziggy’s behaviour

his father rly just took the stance that it ws ziggy’s mum’s job to discipline him or raise him in general which is. 🔪 please enter the 20th century sir.... get ur noggin sorted..... needless to say he wsn’t much involved in ziggy’s life n honestly generally jst didn’t like him. ziggy was a responsibility he didn’t want (accidental prregnancy) n in his literal words once said (blatantly while ziggy ws watching cartoons on the sofa) tht ziggy just “harshes my fucking vibe a lil bit”. 

he wound up leaving when ziggy was six ish.... ziggy watched thru a crack in the blinds as his mum tried to grab at his jacket to make him stay as he lugged out his suitcase..... she even tried to physically cling onto him so he cldn’t get in his ride bt the door wound up slamming n she sat on her knees watching the lights pull out the drive n even long after they were gone. ziggy didn’t rly kno what to do abt this (emotions hd never been smthn he particularly understood, his own or how to handle other people’s) so after watching her fr 5 minutes he went out n gently shook her shoulder n was like. mom come inside u look weird out here. FKGHSFHGSFHKGFHKSGSFGHK. this was him trying to show love <3

ziggy’s mum is like.... rly relationship dependent. she gets all her self worth n validation frm whtever man she’s dating.... so she went on this like.... wild rampage of jst. dating a very large string of men. they ranged frm dreadfully boring to downright awful n were always below her standards. ziggy quite literally hated. all of them. every last one. even one that tried to b nice to him by offering to help him do his math homework when he ws 13 (bc ziggy was struggling a lot w this) n in response ziggy loudly barked until the man gt scared n stumbled backwards into a dining chair on his way out of the room. KGHFHKSJHFJGSHKFG

while him n his mum hv a kind of strained situation (there’s a great deal of resentment from her end n kind of. blaming him fr “driving his father away” n it’s never spoken abt bt it’s very much Present in their relationship n honestly ziggy kind of resents her too fr bringing some of the men into their lives tht she did) there is. love there...... sometimes she’ll like. reach out to cup the back of his head n he’ll duck his head away n be like wtf are u doing checking me for lice? n she’ll jst smile like :)...... knowing that’s how he loves. KHSFGKJGHKSFGFHKGSHF. ugh we love men who know how to process their emotions yesssss king give us nothing <3

(abuse n violence tw) idk i won’t go into it too much bt even tho ziggy’s constantly like 🙄 when his mum shows him affection he wld quite literally. kill fr her n almost did one time.......... narrowly avoided getting charged w assault when one of her bfs was drunk n evil n he went into protective mode.... idk he. has gone thru a lot n seen a lot n so has his mum. they look after each other the best they kno how despite the negatives in their relationship.... it’s complex <3

literally got in trouble so. often. at school. he ws always hyperactive (undiagnosed adhd n also probably not helped by the fact he ws jst allowed to eat sm junk food w 459729457952 sugar percentage all hours of the day) bt when his dad left n like. dealing w acting out so severely at home where his mum’s bfs were concerned it rly escalated..... i jst think he ws like. literally a terror. probably got suspended so many times. maybe even was permanently expelled before he cld get his diploma honestly. set off a firework in school hallway. smthn absolutely reckless n stupid.

hs hd a bunch of jobs mostly in the service industry...... usually ends up getting fired.... worked at mcdonald’s fr a while n then one day he went in rly high n ate three cheeseburgers in front of a weeping child who hd ordered one.... promptly gt fired bt he ws like yo fuck this place i’m quitting n threw off his apron n was like who’s with me??? who’s joining the union??????? to the rest of the staff n they were all mostly like >_> <_< before security approached to forcibly remove him n he grabbed a cookie n crammed it into his mouth in rebellion mid frantic n frankly possessed escape.....

in terms of wht’s going on to this day w his living situation i honestly think he still lives w his mum. i can just see this. KHGFSKGHSFGKSFGH. in like. a ramshackle bungalow in delphinus heights.... having said tht she probably isn’t. there tht often nw she’s dating her latest man (jonas, somehow always sweaty no matter the weather, wears too many gold rings n smells like shoe cleaner) who owns a car dealership n thinks he’s a kingpin for it. still home sometimes tho.

PERSONALITY:

ziggy spends his days working shifts at an ice cream parlour (one he got fired from once bc he broke in high n ate sm ice cream he was lay on the floor in the bk pants unbuttoned stomach bulging sm calling himself garfield saying he had too much lasagna. they hired him bk tho bc he has a harem of middle aged women who lust after him n it brings customers....) or like. cruising parties...... setting off fireworks.... skateboarding...... breaking into abandoned buildings.... filming stupid jackass type tricks....... playing guitar hero...... getting drunk at the arcade..... sometimes busking fr cash in a tossed dwn hat (very badly) (thinks he’s sick at it however)........ or alternatively...... fucking chicks aha...... fuck.......... not exclusive to chicks tho just had to sound despicable bt :smirk: he’s bi Baby.... 

i won’t lie he’s kind of an asshole................ never rly was taught properly how to empathise with ppl so like he struggles w that....... sometimes he’ll say smthn tht’s genuinely just quite mean n doesn’t need to be said but he doesn’t rly realise it’s like bad. n he’s like. what’s the deal haha why are u mad...... 

fuckboy. genuinely jst. rly summarises it well. insatiable. sleeps around wildly. will say he’ll call u back n then will not call u back. lies like oh babe i’m moving to france tomorrow fuckkkkkkkkk sucks so bad that we can only have one night but let’s make it special yeah? tits? n then they’ll see him casually skating past them on the street a week later n be like well clearly he’s not in france. ziggy doesn’t care.

calls himself a “genius inventor” bc he once gutted a vintage analog television n made it into a fish tank. it literally leaked water a bit. still convinced he is a literal visionary never seen before never done again. he’s like i’m on the brink of greatness. i’m the next einstein.

has a bit of a god complex where he thinks he’s the sexiest person in any given room n it’s kind of funny bc like dylan minnette’s sexy to me bt tht isn’t a widespread opinion n ur being a bit bold ziggy...... regardless has confidence thru the roof tht isn’t rly deterred by anything or anyone.....

dyes his hair 49729572459752 colours every colour under the sun. sometimes all at once jst different patches. wears lots of tie dye tshirts n basketball shorts even tho he doesn’t play basketball. rly colourful sneakers. just lots of loud colours tbh. often wears a paper clip in his ear as an earring. pierced it himself. someone probably recorded him doing it fr his insta story. probably was drunk.

drives a vespa around tht is baby blue with pastel yellow polka dots. it has lots of tin cans attached to the back by string like on those cars when u just got married. he did not just get married. u can hear him arriving frm over a street away.

almost never pays fr anything bt is always like “yo it’s my treat” n then either dine n dashes or u have to pay

his idea of romance is nuking a hot pocket as breakfast in bed n then complaining he’s hungry n eating half

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

fuckboy antics: he’s insatiable. rabid. notorious. mayb they fkd n he didn’t call........ jst completely ghosted........ mayb they were genuinely into him n he honestly built up kind of false pretences abt them having a connection n then jst dipped..... cld  b good fr angst n drama <3 someone please egg his house he deserves it <3

high skl heathens: locals tht were equally chaotic in hs..... just picture him having this group of misfits tht were like so loud n always getting up to no good doing god knows what god knows where.... probably gt arrested together breaking into an old abandoned hospital one time........... rly just doing the absolute most at all times............. probably so loud........... drinking n smoking far too much.....

an attempted teenage relationship: i’m like. tentative to even put this one bc i just feel like ziggy wld be a shit bf. KJHGFSHGFHGSFHGFKGHFKSG. but. maybe it ended in drama.....i’d say this wld probably be a girl bc in hs he probably ws less open w his sexuality... maybe ziggy cheated on her or she cheated on him................ angst........ strife.... we love it we love it........ i crash my car into the bridge... i don’t care... i love it... sudden icona pop moment me stood on stage singing karaoke.... it’s just gone 7am as i write this so i apologise if this is losing any. coherency. smiles so sexy....

last adolescent plot i swear: i picture when ziggy was expelled he somehow amassed a large group to protest w signs outside the school fr him to be accepted back. it didn’t work. he threw a party when he received news he hadn’t got back in anyway. maybe ur muse was involved or helped organise this or was violently opposed.

enemies: ppl who just. don’t like ziggy bc like honestly that’s so fair n valid. KJHGFKGHKSFGHSGKHSFHG..... mayb he like. exploded their mailbox one time when they were younger. mayb he skated over their toes. mayb he fucked their bitch aha fuck................. (joking btw) (don’t condone misogyny) (hashtag feminism). cld be fun to play around w

fwb: probably hs a few of these......... mayb they’re cool w things being no strings attached n lax n at ease w ziggy being the mess tht he is in general..... mayb they want more bt ziggy cannot provide...... mayb they literally don’t get on at all n this is their only mutual ground n they keep coming bk to each other.... :smirk:..... whatever u Farncy....

maybe ziggy’s mum dated ur muse’s dad at one point???? we can discuss this if u think it fits..... cld be fun to play around w............

coworkers: past or present r fun..... mayb they were like WTFFF is this guy fking ONNN at a past job (he’s had a few in the food service industry so pretty open in tht area)... mayb they work w him at the ice cream parlour now..... cn discuss the dynamic probably wld be dependent on the muse involved fr like. how he’d act n stuff.... :yum:

[niksfiks]

Gotta Get It Right: Chapter 11

PAIRING: Loki/OFC

RATING: Mature

NOTES/WARNINGS: Trigger warning: mentions of dubcon, violence, PTSD, sexual assault, and physical abuse in later chapters. 

Also on Ao3 

Feedback is always appreciated (just being an attention whore screaming for comments/reblogs). Taglist is open

Tagging @fandom-and-feminism @fadingcoast @igotloki  @mrshiddleston-uk @mischievousbellerina  @amwolowicz 

Chapter 11: The Dungeons Below

The mind...is a fragile thing. Takes only the slightest tap to tip it in the wrong direction. Charles Xavier, Dark Phoenix (2019)

Loki suppressed a shudder upon entering the prison block. He was all too familiar with the cells, having spent far more time in them than he ever wanted to admit. Those who now occupied this prison were criminals, tried, and convicted for their crimes. He never should have been held, much less beneath the palace. He had tried to save Asgard from the Jotunheim, and from his brother’s idiotic lust for war. That business on Midgard with the Chitari had not been his responsibility. Even if it had, Odin had no right...

He stopped himself mid-thought, refusing to allow the memory to progress. Things had been set right with Odin gone, Thor off-world, perhaps never to return, and Loki firmly ensconced on the throne of Asgard. Regardless of anything else the woman had done, she had cemented his right to rule. And that alone was reason enough for keeping her alive. The other reasons he kept to himself, forgetting them when he finally reached her cell.

The woman sat on the floor with legs folded, her back against the wall. Her hands lay relaxed on her knees, palms turned upward as if to receive something. Loki watched her for some time, focusing on the slightest changes in her expression. He wasn’t sure if she was lost in a vision or simply dreaming, but her brow remained furrowed while her lips moved in silent speech. Just as he decided to leave, her eyes blinked open and bore straight through him.

“What?”

“Hardly a complimentary greeting, Midgardian.”

“If it’s a compliment you’re after, maybe you should visit your harem.”

Loki smirked. “We do not practice such archaic beliefs here.”

“Sounds like a personal problem.”

“I would think,” he said, approaching her cell, “that you would be more appreciative of the one who saved your life.”

“You’d think,” she responded absently, standing in a swift motion. “But technically, you’re not the one who saved me, are you?”

Loki stood silent.

“Figured as much. So the question remains: what?”

“Are you attempting to ask what it is that I desire by visiting you here? Or, perhaps, do you mean to inquire of the time?”

Aleksa rolled her eyes.

“There are so many possible variants of questions beginning with ‘what’, I couldn’t possibly list them all.” He leaned toward her. “You wouldn’t live that long.”

“Except for the part where you told your people to inject me with whatever happy juice it is that makes you immortal-ish. So I appear to have plenty of time. By all means, ramble away.”

Loki’s brow quirked as he wondered just how long she’d been feigning unconsciousness.

“What is your name?”

“Haven’t figured that out already? You’re losing your touch.” she scoffed.

“You proceed from the assumption that I haven’t.”

Aleksa shrugged, her arms folded.

“Regardless, I thought Midgardian soldiers were trained to recite their name and identifying number over and over when questioned. No matter. The data found on your identification tags has proven quite useful.”

Her hand instinctively went to her neck, searching for a chain that wasn’t there.

“Petterson is quite the surname. Perhaps I should just call you ‘pet’.”  

“Only if you have a death wish,” she snarled as she stepped closer to the force field.

“Pet, it is, then.” Her jaw clenched as he grinned. “There will come a time that your little excursions will wear my patience thin.”

“Stop chasing me and it won’t be a problem anymore. Besides, seems to me that your guards need more exercise now and again.”

“Now and again?” he scoffed. “Are you aware that you’ve attempted seventeen escapes in  three months?”

“And made it outside the walls of... whatever-this-is... fourteen of those seventeen times.” Her voice grew distant. “I still need to step up my game.”

“Your game? Quite the shame to waste such extraordinary talents on a... game.”

“But you’d have me play yours.”

“This is no game, pet.”

“Then what is it, Jotunn?” Aleksa growled.

Loki ignored the insult and grinned, satisfied that he was wearing her down. “Opportunity.”

“For what?”

“Well, that remains to be seen, doesn’t it? You are obviously a warrior of considerable expertise, and I admit to being quite intrigued by your,” he paused, “handling of the Tesseract. Certainly, there are other talents that remain hidden.”

“All in service of Asgard, no doubt.” Her voice soft, she added, “Or did you have something more personal in mind?”

Loki was suddenly aware of the difference in height between them as he looked down at her, trying to ignore the sightline straight to her cleavage. “I’m sure we could come to some sort of an arrangement.”

“Fuck off.” An admonition that sounded both sultry and threatening.

“An insult, the typical human response.” he balked. “Why unleash your hatred on me? Was it not your beloved SHIELD that sent you here to fetch those poor, lost academics? And was it not your decision alone to challenge me to duel in exchange for their lives?”

“Just like it’s your decision to keep coming after me every time I escape.” She returned to the back wall, sliding down to the floor. “Maybe you should find a hobby.”

“Oh, I’ve already found one. And it’s proving most entertaining.”

“I repeat,” she said with a sigh, “fuck off. Especially if you’re offended by typical human insults.” Aleksa glared at the sarcastic smile creeping across his face, then decided to disengage. He wanted her attention and she was going to withhold it.

“You can’t ignore me forever, pet.” Loki stared at her, noting the timing of the rise and fall of her chest. His mind wandered to the flesh beneath the tunic, what it might feel like against his own skin.

“It pains me,” he said with a shake of his head to return himself to the moment, “to see a creature of your considerable abilities left down here to rot, but, if that is what you wish...”

With no response, Loki sighed, turned, and made his way to the corridor.

“Oh,” he paused, speaking over his shoulder, “thank you for not instigating another riot during your last escape. It made finding you so much easier.”

He heard the slightest change in the hum of the force fields surrounding the cell before something hard hit him in the back of the head. He spun to find her still seated. The cup that had been in the cell with her now lay on the floor next to his feet. He picked it up, then looked back at her.  She was watching him, her facial features relaxed, almost inviting him to react. He only grinned and resumed his journey out of the prison.

Aleksa sat motionless for some time after Loki’s departure. Her mind raced with new plans for escape mixed with memories that felt more like dreams. She tried to think of simple things like the places or people she knew to settle her mind, but even that failed. Her childhood home in Charleston morphed into an even smaller hut near a cliff. Stifling hot summers spent in band camp became much cooler days walking shorelines with her mother.

Except it wasn’t her mother. Her mother died in an accident. Or was it a raid?

Blue skin.

Red eyes.

So much ice. And fire.

Fire.

“C’mon, Colonel. All you have to do is light the fire. Then you and your friends can go home.”

Aleksa’s eye squeezed shut, trying to block out the vision. They were nightmares, illusions. None of it was real.

Was it?

The desert heat was real. The smell of spice and gunpowder and whatever chemicals she’d been exposed to were real.

“Just light it. You can do that, can’t you?”

She began a breathing exercise, a deep inhale followed by a slow, steady exhale while summoning a white candle in her mind. All she had to do was light it and keep the flame steady.

“The flame will cease to flicker when your mind is calm.” A soft voice, neither male nor female.

“Light the pyre. ” Another voice, definitely male and definitely malicious.

Breathe in.

“You can control matter, control the energy that binds it together.”

Breathe out.

“Just a spark. That’s all. I’d hate for you to have the deaths of anyone else on your hands.”

Breathe.

“What d’ya say?”

“No,” she growled. “Better a few soldiers than thousands of innocents.”

“Never let your gifts be abused.”

How many are dead because of me?

“Poor Rose. Her death will excruciatingly slow without anyone to ensure she receives the proper treatments.”

Rose?

Her mind wandered to a baby, small with bright blue eyes. A child become woman become old, the blue never fading in her eyes, regardless of how distant they became.

Sweet little Rose.

She saw Erik’s face, smiling as he cradled the babe. The smile turned evil as his face morphed into Malick’s.

“Leave her out of this.”

Just kill me instead.

“Then bring me what I want.”

Aleksa’s eyes flew open and she stood, pulling energy from the floor into her body. The lights in her cell flickered, followed by the lights in surrounding cells. The block fell dark for a split second then returned to normal lighting.

None of the other prisoners noticed that the cell at the end of the row was suddenly unoccupied.

D’Varst, on the other hand, thought on all he’d witnessed for a moment before making his way out of the dungeons.

[iaal]

Happy Birthday Geegee (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

I open my eyes to the sound of my alarm which is the mello beat of Zombie by the Cranberries, an original better than any covers. After a few seconds of tiredly looking up at the ceiling with my beautiful smokey eyes, I remember something. It’s my birthday! I jump out of bed excited and get ready for school. After getting ready, I look in the mirror and flip my beautiful dark hair and wink at myself. I look really pretty (A.N. she’s not conseeded or anything, it’s just that lots of people tell her that she is!) I am wearing the Hunter High School Uniform, looking very cute like an anime girl with thigh high white socks and a school blazer and a button up shirt with some buttons undone to reveal a little bit of my chest (I’m not a slut btw), but rebellious with my tie all messy and sneakers and lots of black bracelets stacked up my arm.

“Au revoir!” I shout as I leave my house, which is French for see ya later. In the sky, there are lots of clouds. I want to vape all of them.

“Geegee!” I hear a voice call, making me look away from the sky. It’s…. HISOKA!

He waves at me, coming to stand by me while we both walk to school together. I peep around, making sure there’s nobody to see him with me. Hisoka is my secret boyfriend, so absolutely NOBODY can know that we’re together. Usually we walk to school together, but you can never be too careful when cheating on your boyfriend with a total babe like Hisoka.

“You fucking idiot!” I scream at him. “What if Tonpa was here!?!?!” I’m afraid of Tonpa finding out about my love for Hisoka, because then he might break up with me. Hisoka chuckles happily at the idea. He wants me to break up with Tonpa but I can’t leave the fat little dude, I love him too much.

Hisoka is very sexy, though. Today he’s wearing the school uniform, as usual, but with the shirt tight enough that I can see the outline of his bara tiddies. His hair is colored black which is very hot like a goth or emo and styled back like normal, and he is wearing a star and teardrop makeup on his cheeks even if the teachers yell at him he won’t take them off because he’s a magician. He’s really fucking hot, if you couldn’t tell. I stare at him with approving eyes until he speaks.

“If Tonpa was here then I would fight him for your love!” Hisoka declares.

I roll my eyes, but secretly I’m happy to hear him say that. Hisoka fighting people is really hot, even if I only want them to have sex while I watch. Just the thought of it makes me giggle evily.

“Well?” I ask him. Hisoka looks at me.

“Well what?” he says. I stop in my tracks.

“IT’S MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY YOU ASSHOLE!” I shout, stomping my foot.”YOU FORGOT?”

“W-wait, Geegee please I’m sorry I forgot I promise to make it up to you!” he weeps, falling onto his knees. I cross my arms. Even if he’s sexy that doesn’t matter if he forgot my birthday.

“Don’t bother, dick. Not even Bungee Gum, which has the properties of gum and rubber, could keep me with a person so insensitive as you are!” I shout, running away and leaving him to cry alone like the little bitch boy magician he is.

Everyone else rememered my brithday and they all clap when I enter the school. Some of the popular kids don’t, but they don’t matter because everyone else loves me. Standing at the end of the hall, between all of the students, is my boyfriend. He smiles at me wide and I run to him giggling.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!” Tonpa says. Everyone cheers when we kiss, because it’s totally romantic and everything. “I got you this!” he says, holding out his arms to present to me…. A UNICORN! I swoon. It’s pink and white with a glittering horn and nice horse eyes and a shiny coat and irredencet hooves and it smells like cotton candy. “You can even name it whatever you want!”

“COOCHIE!” I declare. It’s only fitting, since I am the Coochie Queen. Everyone sings Happy Birthday and we eat some cake and drink juice until someone comes up and punches Topa. I think it is Hisoks but it’s NOT and actually it’s…. PRESTON, THE PREPPIEST BOY THE SCHOOL!!!!

“I LOVE YOU GEEGEE!” he declares as Tomp falls onto the cake and peopel scream. Pariston loves the attetnion and is sparkiling. He’s hot, even if he dresses all stupid because he has beautiful blond hair and sparkling brown eyes and perfect skin and he is very tall with long graceful limbs like those of dancer or something like that.

“Yeah?” I say dubiously. “Prove it!”

“I got you a birthday present, too.” he tantalizes. “Well-” Pariston says with a mischivious twinkle in his eye, and just as he is about to say what it is, someone else comes in and steps on Tonpa. I gasp.

“POUF!?!?!” We all shout, staring at the beautiful man named Pouf who is my age and has butterfly wings and a sad somber beauty and plays the violin. He’s not a skater boy at all but I can’t deny that he’s hoot too.

“Geegee-” he says, getting down on one knee with his hand over his heart, “I love you!” I GASP.

“YOU ABSOLUTE BAFOON!” PARISTON screeches at him, “I WAS JUST PROFESSING MY LOVE TO HER AND NOW YOU’VE RUINED IT!”

“She doesn’t love you,” Poof told Partson with a smirk all smugly. “You see-”

“Don’t speak for me you asshole!” I tell him. “You just stepped on my boyfriend, how could I ever love you!?” I’m ccrying as I realize how popular I am and how much everyone loves me, why am I so desirable? All I wanted was a nice day with Tonpa and Coochie and then to go home and dom the absolute fuck out of Hisoa! Why is it so hard!??! Pouf and Pariston look at me and how upset they’ve made me and start freaking out. I run away, holding my middle finger up at them. Coochie follows me into the ladies room but the boys don’t because they’re not allowed in becuase that’d be sick!

“wHAt’s wrong Geegee?!?!” my friend Kane asks.

“YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING KANE!” I scream at her. She nods in understanding. “There there,” she says, patting my back.

“Why did god make me so perfect?!?!” I sob, but my makeup is waterproof so it’s okay. “All of them want a piece of this fine ass and I can’t handle it all!”

“You should think about which one you really want,” Kan says wisely. “Or perhaps you should start a harem.”

“I’m not allowed to do that until after highschool,” I tell her sadly, but with resolve.I know what has to be done. I climb on Coochie the Unicorn and leave the bathroom and go into the school but now the halls are empty for class and probably Pariston has been arrested for assault.

Then I go into the computer room.

He’s waiting there for me, the only one I want.

I get off Coochie and smiel at him, taking off my clothes.

“Why are you putting up a camera, baby?” I ask flirtatiously.

“I’m not going to destroy you without a live television audience!!!” says Mettaton. Happy birthday indeed.

[grandmasterofwangxiancultivation]

SV ch.49

not even new years eve’s preparations can stop me from reading this. and it begins with women bickering and lowkey fighting over lbh! ptf- ladies, he is gay for sqq. end of the story :3

EDIT: sqq analysis of the female characters is GOLD, like a true reader!

Looking at it from this perspective, Luo Binghe really… is doing quite miserably!

Dignified Stallion novel male protagonist, are you still okay in that department?

SQQ MAKING ME LAUGH IS THE BEST LAST GIFT OF 2018 THANK YOU. why do you think that’s the case, babe? lbh is waiting for someone special GUESS WHO. GUESS.

omg is someone going to tell him how gay lbh is for him? he even KEPT HIS CORPSE FORGODSAKE-

EDIT 2: 

Could it be that the male protagonist’s coolness level was now no longer tied to him? Or in other words, was the male protagonist’s “coolness” no longer here?

(THEY ARE TIED TO YOUR A- uhm.)

This… Shen Qingqiu couldn’t help but look up at the gloomy Luo Binghe, and suddenly felt like he couldn’t stare straight.

(he can’t stare straight a.k.a. how sqq became gay)

Oh no, could it be that he has committed a sin by raising a perfectly good Stallion novel protagonist… into an asexual?!

*chokes*

EDIT 3: 

He had clearly just been curiously onlooking in the Huan Hua Palace. How did he unknowingly walk into a bamboo forest? And no matter how he looked at it, it was a quite familiar bamboo forest….

(...WHAT THE hell? why is he in a forest, i’m confused-)

Cang Qiong Mountain, Qing Jing Peak.

(b u t- did he teleport himself there or something? WHAT IS HE DOING THERE, WHAT’S HAPPENING, EXPLAIN-)

EDIT 4:

System: [Your current location: Luo Binghe’s dreamscape.]

When Luo Binghe’s consciousness was unstable and wildly fluctuating, bystanders would often be affected. They would be sucked into this dreamscape as immense as a deep-sea whirlpool. In other words, they would get screwed by falling into his immeasurably vast “brain hole.” See the beginning of the original Dream Demon encounter transcript for details.

omg OMG LBH’S DREAMSCAPE I KNOW WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN, I THINK I KNOW, I THINK I READ IT SOMEWHERE OMG ARE THEY REALLY GONNA KISS? i don’t rembember where, but i saw a fan art with the two of them- OKAY BETTER KEEP READING

EDIT 5: 

Shen Qingqiu couldn’t help but lament: It’s been a long time since he last saw such a little fresh sunshine youth Luo Binghe. 

(aaaaaah teenage lbh gives me life alkfdpokajefpioeq but why do i feel like that’s a trick?)

As he strode over, Luo Binghe called out in high spirits: “Shizun!”

Shen Qingqiu was hidden in the dark, so this was naturally not directed at him. He turned his gaze and indeed saw someone wearing a green robe standing at the end of the stone-paved road.

(OMG I’M SHIVERING, sqq watching himself an lbh together, pls, gayness, pls can you SPARK RIGHT NOW-)

Luo Binghe obediently tried again. As a result, this time Luo Binghe did not ram into him. Instead, with a slip of his feet, he directly hugged Shen Qingqiu’s waist.

(such a clever little shit, look how cute he is hugging his beloved shizun :3)

EDIT 6:

In the dreamscape enchantment that Luo Binghe created for himself, he would certainly only choose memories he felt were the most beautiful. If the memories of Qing Jing Peak could occupy a place here, they should be related to Ning Yingying. Why would there be this section?

(I- *sighs and throws her arms in the air* I give uP, I GIVE UP HOW CAN HE E THIS OBLIVIOUS? THE ANSWER IS IN THE QUESTION!!!! if the memories he feels are the most beautiful are those with you, wHAT DO YOU THINK THAT M E A N S-)

Thinking like this seemed a little vain, but…… probably… perhaps… just maybe… this section of master-disciple affection was placed a bit higher in Luo Binghe’s heart than Shen Qingqiu had imagined?

(COME ON SHIZUN, COME ON, YOU CAN DO IT! THAT’S THE RIGHT DIRECTION!)

EDIT 7:

Suddenly, a thread of chilly air crept up Shen Qingqiu’s neck, as if there was a both cold and hot line of sight climbing up along his spine.

(SHIT HE IS HERE. HE IS HERE.)

Shen Qingqiu’s first reaction wasn’t to take to his heels and start sprinting for it, but to stay in place and adjust his facial expression to his most natural.

(i love that he doesn’t really fear him. i love this, so much words can’t even begin to convey it. PLS LET LBH KNOW IT’S YOU. PLEASE)

EDIT 8: 

Shen Qingqiu braced himself and met his gaze.

After a long while, it was Luo Binghe who first sighed.

He murmured: “Being able to dream… is still nice.”

(OKAY WHAT DOES IT MEAN, LBH THINKS THAT SQQ IS PART OF THE DREAM? WHAT. BIG, POWERFUL DREAM LORD, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THAT’S THE REAL THING!! ODIJGOEIJGFIER THESE TWO WILL BREAK ME-

also, lbh pls don’t be so sad and anguished, or else i’ll feel like dying-)

Seeing him leaning against the bamboo and staring blankly, Shen Qingqiu remembered his dazed appearance on the head seat during the day, all alone. Then upon comparing this version of him with the impressive commanding splendor of the original work, Shen Qingqiu couldn’t help but feel a little sad.

(omg my heart, mY HEART. PLS SHIZUN. YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN GIVE HIM HAPPINESS.)

EDIT 9:

Luo Binghe said: “I wonder if Shizun could have a word with me.”

Shen Qingqiu’s heart was currently filled with sympathy for Luo Binghe, so he pleasantly and amiably replied: “Okay. What do you want to talk about?”

He didn’t expect that after he spoke up, Luo Binghe instead froze. He instantly stood up straight and left the bamboo, a trace of disbelief showing on his face.

Oops. Shen Qingqiu thought: Does he think this reaction isn’t right?

(ANXIETY

sqq stop talking bullshit, what you are feeling is called love, not sympathy-)

After remaining silent for a while, Luo Binghe spoke up: “In the past, Shizun never even bothered to look at me, just walked off on his own, don’t even mention talking with me. Perhaps my imagination today is a little too beautiful.”

Shen Qingqiu’s heart stirred.

(OMG I FEEL LIKE CRYING, HOW LONELY HAD MY BABY BEEN UNTIL NOW, THIS IS SO UNFAIR, PLS GIVE HIM HIS SHIZUN, BE HIS SHIZUN AGAIN SOHVCOIWJFIOW)

EDIT 10: sqq patting lbh’s head gives me the same chills that wwx’s calling lwj “er gege” gives me.

He had barely patted twice when all of a sudden, Luo Binghe raised his arm, his left hand gripping Shen Qingqiu’s left wrist.

Shen Qingqiu’s expression solidified as he thought: Isn’t this a bit too close?

(AND IT SEEMS LIKE SOMETHING IS HAPPENING OMG)

Immediately afterward, his right wrist was also firmly grasped. Suddenly looking up, Shen Qingqiu felt his vision blur.

As if gently touched by feathers, his cheeks were swept. A strange sensation came from his lips, both soft and slightly cool.

His eyes opened wide, meeting Luo Binghe’s dark pupils. His throat bobbed with difficulty.

He wanted to speak but had no way to open his mouth. Because his mouth was bitten.

(omg OMG YES-)

EDIT 11: LSKFNPISJOPKDGPOKSROPGKWRO

EDIT 12:

What ultimately breached his state of complete breakdown was a system reminder accompanied by its own celebratory BGM: [Coolness Points +500! Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations! Important things must be said three times! ]

THE SYSTEM GIVING HIM COOL POINTS FOR BEING GAY IS LIFE

Shen Qingqiu: “What. The. F***——————?!?!”

He finally understood why Luo Binghe had not pushed down a single girl to the point where not a single shadow of the 3000 harem beauties had been seen, yet the coolness points had never decreased.

Because he had used Shen Qingqiu to make up for the coolness points aaaaaaahhhhh!!!

FINALLY. FINALLY GUYS, FINALLY, I CAN’T BELIEVE I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD!!! WHAT A BEATIFUL WAY TO END THE YEAR, THANK YOU SO MCH MXTX!!!

SQQ DON’T BE AN IDIOT ABOUT IT AND K I S S  H I M  B A C K omg i need ch.50 NOW

[twdixonimagine-blog]

You could’ve just asked//Negan

Info: Rosalie is caught touching herself to the thought of Negan and he comes to help

Warnings: smut, swearing

Note: using the prompt ‘caught red handed’, also, this is my first submission to Negan smut week and I’m very nervous but let’s see how it goes

It was late at night and Rosalie was alone in her bed, staring at the stark grey ceiling. Her mind bounced from thought to thought mindlessly. The thoughts ranged from a walker kill to how Simon was being a big flirt today. Then she thought of Negan, Simons’ superior. 

He was quite attractive but he had a large number of wives, not something she’d want to be. Cramped in one room in cocktail dresses with about eight other women whom all fucked the same guy, no thanks. She had a large room, her and Arat being the female versions of Dwight and Simon, and she liked it. She was alone and it was quiet. But how she would kill to have one night with him without those other wives bitching about it. 

Her mind wandered to Negan and his whole demeanor and every other thing about him. The way he’d lean back in a very poor posture, his smile and the way his tongue ran across his straight white teeth. His leather jacket, and his glove, how it would feel to have that glove touch her most private areas, even just her face would be enough. How it would feel to have his scruff between her legs, ticking her inner thighs as he ate her out.

Her hand found their way underneath the band of her shorts and underwear. The other snaked up underneath her shirt to her nipple where she fondled it beneath the thin white shirt she wore. Her fingers brushed over her slit that was now soaked just thinking of Negan. As she pushed her fingers inside she could imagine how much longer and talented Negans’ fingers would be inside her. She cried out his name at the thought.

Outside this caught Negans ear, he hadn’t thought much at the first one, but the second more desperate one sounded like it needed to be investigated. He thought maybe she needed help after falling or what he wanted was to hear her pleading to be a wife. Negan let himself in her room without warning, maybe due to curiosity, maybe due to his superiority. He was not disappointed at what he did see. Rosalie was sprawled on the bed, her nipples poked through her shirt and one hand was playing with the one. Her other hand was down her pants, her hips grinding against her hand. Her mouth was agape and her chest heaving.

“Fuck,” He breathed out and her actions ceased, she scrambled to cover up “Don’t be shy now, if you needed my help you could’ve just fuckin’ asked and I’d be here”

“Negan” She panted.

“If you don’t want me to, say no and I’ll leave”

She didn’t speak, maybe in shock or maybe because she didn’t want him to leave. Negan took off his jacket, about to take off his glove but she stopped him.

“No, don’t” She said desperately.

“Leave the glove on?” He asked raising his brows.

She nodded, too embarrassed to say anything.  

“I like that” He growled as he fell to his knees in front of her. He used his hand to ease her down, then pulled her to the edge of the bed. The cold leather sent chills down her leg. He pulled off her pants and then panties. He looked at her, legs wide open and dripping for him. He smiled to himself before sliding a long, leather finger inside her. Her head immediately was thrown back and mouth open in a quiet moan.

“So wet and I wasn’t even in the fuckin’ room” He grunted as he thrusted his finger into her hard, the palm of his hand hit her clit.

He added a second finger and Rosalie used her two hands to twist and punch at her nipples to help bring her closer. He pumped his fingers in and out of her fast, the leather and her slickness helped him do this. He loved watching her writhe underneath his touch and he was just getting started. As he felt her start to clench around his fingers he moved faster. When he knew she was about to go, he pulled his fingers away and she squirted on him.

“Fuck you” She panted, looking down at him in embarrassment.

“That was fuckin’ hot, sweetheart. Sherry hasn’t ever done that” 

“Was that a compliment?”

“You could say that, or payback for soaking my shirt” He laughed quietly.

“Guess you’ve got to take it off” She spoke with a half smile. 

“Guess I do, and this glove” He removed both, one was better to watch.

His arms flexed as he removed his white shirt from his chest. His tattoo and chest hair was so attractive. None of this she would’ve even guessed he had if he hadn’t been here, right now in this moment in this situation. She had to regrets.

He delved his face into her pussy. He brought her legs over his shoulders to make her more comfortable and open to him. Everything she imagined but so much better to actually feel it. His tongue was exploring new places she didn’t know to go with her own hands. His scruff against her was tickling but also prickly, but the feeling of his tongue inside her beat that. His nose would press up against her clit when he moved his tongue more. He brought up a hand to start playing with her clit to help her come. She cried out in hopes of a release quicker.

“Fuck” She cried out and squeezed her nipple hard “Faster”

 He rubbed faster and she came right on him. Her tolerance to hold out an orgasm was fading as she became more and more sensitive. He knew what was next would just drive her over the edge.

“Take off your shirt” He demanded.

She sat up and quickly removed her shirt as she heard his belt coming undone. He was as eager to get to her as she was to him.

“Damn, you have no idea how much I’ve wanted to have you like this” He said as he crawled on top of her.

“What do you mean?” She blushed.

“Naked and ready”

“You’ve got a harem of women who would be naked and ready for you at the snap of your fingers”

“But, I wanted, want, you, babe” He said before kissing her.

His hand tangled into her hair and the other held my cheek. His tongue fought hers for control and of course, his won. He laid her back and moved his lips to her neck as he lined himself up. He ran the tip of his cock up and down her slit, teasing her. Sliding it in halfway but then pulling away. She whined.

“What do you want, baby? Tell daddy and he’ll give it to you” He spoke huskily, his breath hot on her neck.

“Fuck me, Negan”

“What?”

“Fuck me, daddy, please” She moaned for his contact.

He thrusted into her and she bit down on his shoulder to not scream out in pleasure. When she pulled her mouth away, she left teeth marks and some saliva. 

“Don’t be quiet now, darling” Negan told her.

He continued his steady pace going, hard enough to keep her moaning. She cried out his name and many profanities as he fucked her. He kissed her, catching her moans in his mouth. This was more than just fucking, at least to him. He pulled his mouth away and looked her in the eyes. They were needy.

“What do you need, doll?” He asked her.

“More” She moaned.

He did so. He thrusted harder and used his hand to help speed up the process. It almost hurt when he started to rub her clit but it still felt good. She moaned and knew she was coming close. He had wore her out and made her oversensitive. She cried in pain and pleasure, her eyes closing. He nipped at her neck.

“Look at daddy, look at me while you come all over my cock, yeah?” He spoke out of breath.

“Oh, yeah” She whined as she came all over him.

It was now his turn. He kept thrusting and Rosalie, still coming down from her other orgasm, was still writhing beneath him. The pleasure hadn’t left her yet. When he came inside of her, she came again. The littlest thing made her come all over again. 

Negan rested his head in the crook of her neck, his damp forehead on her neck. A red spot was forming form where he bit her on her neck. He pulled out of her but stayed laying on top of her. He could feel how the two of them were breathing out of sync, but he rose and lowered with her every breath as well as his own.

“You can’t love me, Negan” She said stroking his hair.

She was smarter than he thought. Maybe she could see right through him and to the love he felt in his eyes. Past the lust and want, she saw what was underneath. He didn’t like how well she could read him.

“Sush. Just, relax. Sleep. We can talk tomorrow, okay?” He said looking up at her.

“Yeah” She smiled before kissing him, content with her current situation. 

In bed, naked, stroking the hair of a man who loved her.

@negans-network @negansmutweek