#and he very much wants to because in human shape it's much easier to smooch pretty princes <3

[toffiendfee]

New AU idea, consider: Takumi is a (normally very sleepy) dragon, but one day he encounters the kingdom's crown prince while the latter is on a hunting trip, finds him very pretty, and takes him to his lair.

Crown prince Ryousuke actually thinks being kidnapped by a dragon is a fun change of pace, especially because the dragon is so cute.

Then prince Keisuke arrives to save his brother and slay the dragon... only to fail horribly, because he also thinks the dragon is very cute.

[wallwriterstuff]

Your dating Demetri post was wonderful, would you consider writing one for Felix too? 🥺👉👈

Thank you so much! I’ll be honest this my first time creating anything for Felix so it was a bit of a challenge but I hope you like it! I’ve had some troubles with bullet points in the last few posts as well but I think maybe this has sorted it? If it’s a bit easier to read like this please let me know! 

Okay so when it comes to dating Felix I feel there are two very different scenarios, depending on if you’re human or not.  

If you’re human:

·         This giant teddy bear is terrified

·         Of you

·         Which you and everyone else finds hilarious

·         You so much as get within three feet of him and he’s raising his hands in a stay back gesture with this pained little smile

·         He is a man in the shape of a mountain and he knows it. He doesn’t want to squish you or hurt you and he can very easily do both so his response is to just…not touch you at all

·         You ignore absolutely all of his wishes and literally tackle him- not that he moves of course

·         After that Felix is a little more willing to engage in some light physical contact – by that I mean he holds your hand and gets all excited about it like a little school boy with his first crush

·         “Did you see that Demetri? Her hand is so small compared to mine!”

·         Totally forgets you need food then proceeds to feel tremendously guilty about it when you remind him your starving

·         Loves to watch you sleep because you make such fascinating little faces as you dream, he imagines your dreaming of him when you smile

·         Surprisingly the best one on the guard to deal with a human mate when they’re sick. He’s used to staying level- headed in crises situations so it’s easy for him to just think logically about the whole thing              +Logically he knows turning you would make it all go away but instead he has the smarts to not turn you by force and instead swaddle you with blankets and force feed you soup and medicine

·         You love teasing him about his age and happily introduce him to all the modern-day slang. He torments Demetri with it daily now who resents you for it                   +  “Lol jk bro.”                                  “Felix did you just try to hex me?”                       “Idk man, have you seen bae about?”                                   “Felix if that is the name of the spirit you have sent after me I WILL end your existence.”

 If you’re a vampire:

·         No reservations whatsoever about cuddles, snuggles smooches and more                     + Demands on occasion to be the little spoon leading to hilarious situations where he has you draped over him like an ill-fitting blanket. You cannot physically wrap your arms around the width of his body no matter how hard you try

·         Even now you’re more durable he still puts effort in to make his touch extra soft and gentle. Physical touch is his love language since he doesn’t really like to talk about how he feels all that often so he does his very best to express his affection through all the little gestures he gives you throughout the day

·         A very playful mate

·         Will mess your hair up in the mirror just after you’ve combed it into submission, move your belongings to places only he can reach since he had all his shelves put to his height on his walls etc.

·         He is stubborn as hell so expect to argue over silly things like what movie to watch or switching your showergel (because the man is whipped for strawberry scented shampoo)

·         Equally, be just as prepared for sweet little gestures to make it up to you

·         He doesn’t really enjoy going out on dates but he will if it makes you happy, he prefers going to less crowded places, things like going for a hike or something so he can have you all to himself

·         Did I mention possessive? Will not hesitate to snap anyone in half who stares at you funny

·         His favourite thing to do with you is cuddle up in bed while he plays with your hair. He’s surpsingly good at styling longer hair to so if you have Rapunzel style locks expect to be his model while he practices intricate braids on you

·         Felix loves having you read to him because even after all the centuries he’s been alive, he’s never really gotten very good at it. He was born in an era reading wasn’t all that important to people like him, built for manual labour and in a physical role ever since, it’s not something he picked up easily and his distaste for it lingers

·         You always go to Demetri for help buying him presents because Felix is so laidback you never have any idea what he wants!             + “What about this? Do you think he’d use a fitbit?”                          “I think if you gave him sh*t in a bucket he would treasure it because it’s from you, Y/N. Now will you at least knock next time before you come in?”             + He did use the fitbit and loved confusing it with his lack of REM sleep and more steps in a day than the technology thought was possible. You caught him pacing the room at 2AM once watching the numbers go up with the most wicked grin on his face. He believed he was overworking a tiny man that lived in the watch bless him. 

·         Felix doing the exact same thing because he’s the dumbo that looks at your lips while you talk and gets distracted

·         Demetri despairs over both of you and has banned you both from ever saying the word present to him again

[gullethead]

Writing In Eternian

Hey! I made a post about a little season 5 easter egg yesterday (not linking it here because for some reason it blocks the post from showing in the tags)and while I was poking through the tags, I noticed that a lot of people want to learn how to use First Ones writing! Writing and orthography are actually things I'm really interested in, so I decided to make this guide for people. It's a bit more in-depth than the official press release, so if you just want to use that, feel free!

Here’s the original tweet from the She-Ra Twitter account, which has more examples: twitter. com /dreamworksshera/status/1055474341553623040

Here we go! Putting it under a break so it doesn't eat up your whole screen.

THE SOUNDS OF ENGLISH & THE IPA

So first of all, we need to start with a brief introduction to the IPA. (If you’re already familiar, you can skip to the next big heading.) Lots of languages use a lot of different letters or other characters to represent certain sounds, but when you're working with linguistics, you need to be able to say exactly what you mean. So, we made the International Phonetic Alphabet. This is a long list of individual letters and markings that represent very specific sounds, and you use them by placing them between slashes, like /d/, and sometimes to distinguish, you place the actual writing between corner brackets, like <d>. So for instance, /t/ and /h/ make the same sounds that <t> and <h> make in English, but <th> (usually) makes either the /θ/ or /ð/ sounds. These change based on where you live, but in general the consonants are the same for all English speakers.

Knowing this is important, because something I love about the First Ones alphabet is that it isn't just a letter substitution! Many "secret language" alphabets I've seen in kid's series (like Artemis Fowl, for instance) are just simple one-to-one substitutions for the Latin alphabet we use. But First Ones writing is actually very different! It uses the actual sounds made in the word. So if you wrote "cat" in the First Ones script (which I'm gonna call Eternian, after Eternia from He-Man, which flows better than "First Ones script"), it would actually look like "kat", because the letter c can be used for the sounds k or s, so it doesn't translate.

The alphabet we're using right now was created for the Latin language, derived from the Greek alphabet, which itself has a very long history behind it. English is NOT descended from Latin - it's a Germanic language, and the Germanic family is only kind of related to the Romantic family that developed out of Latin. However, a lot of our vocabulary has a Latin infusion because of mixing with Old French in the 1000s-1100s, and even before that, we used the Latin alphabet because it was the most common. This means that in order to express all the sounds we have, English speakers writing English had to combine different letters together; this, plus over a thousand years of different spellings and dialects, means that our orthography - our way of writing the sounds we say - is FUCKED. The Eternian alphabet is actually a much more efficient way of writing these sounds!

This is the total list of English consonants:

A few notes here:

To make sure you're not lost, /ŋ/ is <ng>, /j/ is <y>, /θ/ and /ð/ are <th>, /ʃ/ and /ʒ/ are <sh> and <zh> (the French <j>, not usually distinguished in English writing) respectively, and /tʃ/ and /dʒ/ are <ch> and the English <j> respectively.

Most consonants can come in voiced and unvoiced versions (although, because English is weird, these are called "fortis" and "lensis" because we pronounce them with different amounts of energy). /b/ is /p/, but pronounced using the vocal chords. Only the nasal sounds, the "approximants", and /h/ don't have pairs in English, although /h/ DOES actually have a common voiced pair, and you can technically pronounce the others voiceless in some languages although it's very rare.

The /x/ sound, famously the end of the Scottish word "loch", is only found in Celtic accents (Scottish, Irish, Welsh) and in the South African accent (because of influence from Dutch). Other English speakers realize it as /k/.

The /r/ sound is weird. What /r/ technically represents is a trill, like in the Spanish <rr>. However, in English, that trill is very rare; what we use <r> for is called a "postalveolar approximant", [ɹ̠]. However, it is usually easier just to write the letter r, so that's how we transcribe it for English's IPA.

English also sometimes has what are called "syllabic consonants", which are consonants that can act as the center of a syllable in the place of a vowel. In English, these are mostly /l/, /m/, and /n/. For instance, the word "bottle" is technically pronounced [ˈbɑɾl̩] in General American English, and the same goes for words like "rhythm" and "button"; however, because this would complicate things a lot, phonologists consider it to include a very small vowel, so with the example of "bottle", it would be /ˈbɑtəl/ instead.

The vowels are a bit more weird than the consonants. Our alphabet was originally created for Latin, which only has ten vowel sounds, long and short a, e, i, o, and u (although technically the short vowels are /a ɛ ɪ ɔ ʊ/ instead of /a e i o u/, because fuck it I guess). However, we have a MUCH different vowel "inventory" in English - instead of the uniform 10 paired Latin vowels, in General American English we have anywhere from 11-13 vowels depending on your interpretation along with three diphthongs (combinations of two vowels used as a single vowel):

If you look at the British (Received Pronunciation) chart it's much different from that, which is why the accents are so distinct; however, Eternian is made with GA English in mind, so I'm just going to focus on that.

More notes:

/ə/ (a schwa, like in "uh"), /ɜ/ (very similar and hard to distinguish in writing), and /ʌ/ (something between an "uh" and an "ah"), are all very close to each other and sometimes interchangeable, especially between the first two.

/oʊ/ is usually simplified to /o/, and /eɪ/ is sometimes simplified to /e/, since the normal versions of those sounds don't show up so we don't have to make the difference clear.

A lot of accents in North America make /ɔ/ sounds (similar to "aw" or "au", like in "caught") into /ɑ/ sounds (the o in "hot").

Now, let's move on to the alphabet!

ETERNIAN GLYPHS & SIGILS

The "letters" of the Eternian alphabet, in my opinion, are better described using the more general term "glyph". This is because, while they are distinct shapes that mean specific sounds, they are used kind of artistically and variably within one large interconnected word-shape called a "sigil", much different than we would consider letters in the English alphabet. These glyphs are organized in words by lines starting at the basic shape of the sigil and stringing them together in order.

Eternian glyphs are split into two major categories that differ by shape: consonants and vowels.

CONSONANTS

The system of glyphs for Eternian consonants is actually very easy to remember, once you get the shapes down! Let's go back to the voiced/voiceless pairs. English has eight pairs of these, four plosives (made by quickly starting and stopping air with your mouth) and four fricatives (made by constantly moving air through your mouth). These eight pairs - along with another pair for /r/ and /l/ even though they aren't voiced/voiceless, because they're also closely related - make up most of the sounds in English and most of the consonant glyphs in Eternian. In each of these pairs, the voiceless (and /l/) have a basic, empty polygon shape; the voiced pair (and /r/) use the exact same shape, but with a dot in the middle. Like so:

Outside of this, English has four more vowels - /m/, /n/, /ŋ/, and /h/ - and two "semivowels", which can be used either as a vowel or a consonant. One of these semivowels, /j/ (the English y), is used as a vowel in Eternian, while the other, /w/, is treated as a consonant. Except for /w/, these remaining consonants are all marked by the fact that they’re solid color; they also all use the same basic shapes as many of the others, but aren’t related to the sounds which share their shape:

Pretty simple once you get the hang of it! Excuse the messiness; if you want a more precise rendering, you can reference the original release at the top.

I'm pretty sure this is all accurate, but there's one thing that seems weird to me. In English, <th> can be used to express either voiceless /θ/ or voiced /ð/. However, in Eternian, they gave us a "dh" glyph. I assume that this is meant to represent /ð/. However, in Wrong Hordak's "Smooch The Chef" apron, "the" is spelled with the glyph used for /θ/. But honestly I'm just assuming human error on that one, especially because /ð/ is very rare at the beginning of words except for articles or pronouns like the and these, most cases of <th> at the beginning of a word are /θ/ like in "thorn".

Now, for vowels!

VOWELS

Like I said earlier, this bit is much more complicated to get than the consonants, but luckily, this is actually much better for English than Latin letters!

Eternian vowel glyphs are divided, seemingly at random, into two subsets with a single exception. First are line-glyphs, which are formed by altering the connective line between two geometric glyphs. The others are circle-glyphs, the ones used for /ɛ/, /i/, /u/, and /o/. These function in the exact same way as the consonant glyphs, except that they are all circles where none of the consonants (except /n/) are.

There's a few issues here with transcribing words, but they mostly come out of simplifying English's horrible vowel fluidity. For instance, there's no distinct letter for writing the schwa /ə/, but it can be folded into the letter for /ʌ/. That, and combining /ɔ/ with /ɑ/, simplify 16 sounds into 13 letters. The last letter, /j/, is the other semivowel I mentioned above; <y> in English can be used for either /j/ or /aɪ/ and /ɪ/, but this letter specifically represents the /j/ sound like in "yes" or "yak".

BRINGING IT TOGETHER

This is where things get very interesting. Let's start with the basics, walking through how to write the word "Adora".

Eternian, as a writing system, is much more artistic by design than Latin, and words and sentences can be constructed in many ways which are all read the same way. Eternian words - better called "sigils" - are read right-to-left, like Hebrew, Arabic, or traditional Japanese and Chinese. We form the sigils starting with a line sloping down in that direction book-ended with dots. The exact angle and length doesn't matter, but the right side is always noticeably higher than the left, like this:

We then add two additional decorative lines built off of that base, which end in dots:

These flourishes can be curved, geometric, or a mix of both, and often inform a lot about the "personality" of both a sigil and its writer, and can distinguish one sigil from another. They're like the sigil's signature. They can be any shape or length, but never overlap with themselves or other lines.

The next step is to begin adding the sounds. Much like the flourishes, these are constructed differently for every sigil, although again they are all read from right-to-left and the symbols are placed with that in mind. These are strung down from the sigil's base, connecting with straight lines. Let's start by placing the a-sound in "Adora" near the right-side edge of the line (this is the /ʌ/ line-glyph, like the u in "fun"):

Because the /ʌ/ glyph is a line, it replaces the normal connecting line. Let's finish this syllable line with the /d/ glyph:

...and then add another line with the glyphs for /orʌ/:

Generally, when a cluster ends with a line-glyph, it connects back to the base line. Clusters not at the end cannot end on a line-glyph (though I'm not sure about what to do for line-glyph-only words like "I" or "a" - perhaps the base line is changed, the line curves in an arc, or it ends at the changed portion?). Additionally, line-glyphs are always turned in the direction they're going - the beginning and ending /ʌ/ glyphs are flipped from each other, because the ending glyph is turned upwards going towards the base line while the beginning is stemming from it.

The important thing to remember is that sigils can be formed in a variety of ways - the flourishes, line angles, how you structure the syllables, all of these are dependent on the writer, so long as they follow those general rules. I constructed that sigil “AD.ORA”, but it could just as easily be “ADO.RA”, and in larger words there’s much more potential for structural changes.

Sigils in a sentence are connected through lines which meet the word next to each of the flourishes, and which bend to fit the shape of the sentence. Sentences are not read in any specific direction, but words are clustered in aesthetically pleasing ways and sentence order is shown by these connecting lines. However, The initial word in a sentence only has a line connecting on its left side, the final word only has a line on its right side, and words in between connect to the previous word on their right and the next word on their left.

Let's try extending this to a simple sentence - "Adora is She-Ra." We already have the She-Ra sigil from canon, so we just need to connect them with the word "is".

First, let's write the next word, below and to the left:

And connect the two with a line:

And then repeat with the "She-Ra" sigil.

...and finally...

There we go! You've officially written a sentence using Eternian glyphs! I hope you have fun with it! If you have any questions feel free to shoot me an ask. Thanks for reading!

[dracula-in-purple-story]

Romantic Idiots

How to confess to your crush(es)?

Option 1 : Do not let your brain and heart clashes together and give you mixed signals. Then confess.

Option 2 : Give him/her/them an Applin or any shiny Pokemons. Then confess.

Advice : Panic if fail. 

“Panic if fail? What’s that supposed to mean, Grandpa?” Hop glanced up hesitantly as he finished noting down the old man’s advice. His ex-champion brother nervously clenched around his Charmander plushies. 

The grandfather smiled coyly as he went to the kitchen to pour himself a cup of tea while the brothers tried to follow behind him. Their mother chuckled at this silly scene before the grandmother answered for her husband, also smiling coyly.

“Panic as in running away like an idiot. I swear to Arceus, when I was at your age, Leon, your grandpa over there tried to asked me out by throwing a Poke Ball at my window. Poor Appletun dearie got a fright that time and refused to acknowledge him for a decade.”

“Hush, sweetheart.” the blushing old man ruffled his wife’s hair before settling down. “Our daughter-in-law got it worse than you. Am I right, Helen?”

The said woman just sighed blissfully before snorting out loud, almost making the brothers laughed if they weren’t asking for some love advices. Standing up, she shuffled through the living room to picked up her wedding photos and was reminiscing the moment.

“Mom?” the older brother asked gently as to not interrupt the moment.

“Yes, Leon?”

“How did Dad confess? It can’t be worse than Gramps’ attempt.”

“Yeah!” the younger brother butted in while grinning at the offended-looking man, “What was it like? Could it be he try to serenade? Bet he sounds goofy and passed it down to Lee!”

“Hey! I sound amazing, Hopscotch! You are just jealous!”

“Boys,” the mother smiled at her sons’ playful banter. When they finally stopped, she smiled even wilder as she recounted the fateful evening.

“Well, he didn’t serenade, for starters. But he did tried to make an A Capella with Rotoms and Dittos. Never worked out since he first practised it at the Lake of Outrage. The Rotoms snitched on him with the Dittos were making ‘He love You’ letters while I saved his arse.”

“Oof, ouchies.” Hop scrunched up his face jokingly while Leon laughed as he imagined the scenario over and over. They pulled out their own RotomPhones when they were done though. 

“You better not snitch on me, dude. I must do this myself.” The ex-champion pleaded with his little bro nodding beside him.

“You got it-Roto! Don’t stutter when you confess-Roto!”

“We make sure to taped you guys so we can see who’s got the worst end of the stick-Roto!”

“ROTOMS, NO!”

The purple-haired brothers panicked as they chased their cackling phones, leaving the amused adults behind. 

“I bet two thousand PokeDollars that they would failed terribly and cutely at the same time.”

“No need to bet, Mother. It’s obvious that their ability to confess is still strong in their blood.”

“Rude, ladies. Very rude.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Now back at their shared apartment at Wyndon City, Leon was pacing around. His little bro had already went out to find his crushes. The new chairman wished he had this kind of courage. He wished, just not gonna happen. He and Raihan are just friends with a healthy rivalry of ten years! How is he going to react if he just confess out of the blue?! That’s why he got a perfect plan! Sonia had helped him devised a lot of plans. Plans related to shiny Pokemons were quickly rejected due to him being a natural shiny repellent. Flowers were also a big no, Raihan’s Pokemons tend to gobbled up flowers from his fans. Chocolate was supposed to be part of the plan, but Sonia rejected that idea because it was overrated. So this is the result. Just ask Raihan to go out with him and make sure he knows it’s a date and not a Valentine’s Day hangout. Solid A+ Plan! “Over a phone call? So outdated, Master Lee. Not gonna lie but that’s so last season,” the RotomPhone floats around in front of Leon while showcasing the contact details of his master’s dream man. “I don’t want Raihan to see my face if I ask him face to face! It’s too obvious!” “Ain’t that the plan?” “No!” “Okay, okay! Geez, you humans are so overly complicated. What happen to mating calls? It’s so much easier.” “Shut it, Rotom...” With a heavy sigh, he slouched over the single-seat coach. Maybe it’s a bad plan, but it’s the only foul-proof plan he could ever execute. “Okay,” Leon sat up and slapped both side of his cheeks to concentrate, “I’m ready! All I have to say is ‘Go out with me this evening’!” Snatching RotomPhone from the air, while apologizing, the purple-haired man pressed ‘Call’ with confidence. It rang for a few times before the Dragon Gym Leader picked up with his smooth, husky voice. The voice he should still get used to but still melt every time he heard it. “What’s up, ex-champ? Feeling lonely on Valentines?” Let’s be boyfriends. Leon’s mind went on short circuit for a bit. He didn’t respond for a minute, making the silence unbearable. “Uh, Leon? Are you there?” “LET’S DO BOYFRIENDS’ DATE!” Unfortunately, his mind ended up fusing what he initially going to said and his current thoughts. Freaking out, he ended up the call without hearing the reply. He just screwed up. He managed to screw up the only foul-proof plan. This is not what it should happen and yet, here he was. Leon stomped his way to his bedroom, slammed his door open and threw himself onto the bed in frustration. He really shouldn’t take Option 1. ~~~~~~~~~~ Arriving at the Hammerlocke Gym, Hop quickly strode towards the lift, and quickly slid his access card. He went in but not without getting bumped by Raihan, who never seems to noticed him as the top Gym Leader dashed outside with the biggest grin plastered on his face. Leon succeed, huh... The lab assistant shook his face to focus on his mission. He really put a lot of effort finding these Pokemon after all. Gramps’ advice always worked! Reaching his destination, he walked out slowly towards his so-called Rival Gang. They were grooming and playing with Zacian and Zamazenta. The Legendary Pokemon was really ease up on Victor and Gloria real quick. Hop let out his own Legendary Pokemon partner, Eternatus, scaring the occupant in the room, especially the albino-haired boy. “Hop! You idiot! Are you trying to scare me half to death?!” I wanna smooch you til I melt though. Grinning characteristically, he settled himself down between the girls, who now switched their focus on Eternatus. Victor, the new chairman’s secretary, smiled gently at him as greeting. Arceus, I would love to see your smile everyday, every time. “So, how’s the research coming up, Hop? Having such a rowdy Pokemon like this dragon must have damage the lab a few times.” Marnie smirked at Hop while throwing a Heavy Ball for it to catch. Such a graceful badass. With a super effective smirk. “Natus can shapeshift to a smaller size to roam freely so it’s not a problem,” the lab assistant answered before side-glancing his Legendary partner, “the problem would be giving Sonia a hard time to examine it.” “Typical. Seems like giving you Eternatus is the right choice. After all, I don’t think I can handle two huge responsibilities at the same time. Am I right, Zacian?” Gloria, the newly-crowned champion, winked at the Sword-wielding Warrior Pokemon. Zacian huffed out a pleased grunt, almost indicating it agreed with her. Are you trying to faint me with your adorable wink?! Finding the right time, Hop waited for the opportunity as they talked and played around. Occasionally battling or betting matches, making curry at this unusual location, talking about work. Hop had to thank Arceus when Victor popped the question. “So... today’s Valentines Day, ain’t it? You guys got some confession to make?” Silence taking over the room. Marnie and Bede tried to hide their blush but failed miserably while Gloria was looking embarrassed for once. Hop took a deep breath. “I do.” Shocking his gang again, he took out four Love Balls. Each of them had their unique designs that Hop took the time to do. “It makes me sound crazy but I think... I have a crushes on you guys. Super, duper big ones,” he slowly exclaimed as he handed them each of their own unique Love Balls, which they took it gladly. A good sign. Victor had Sobble with heart-shaped eyes drawing; Gloria had Scorbunny with its ear forming a heart-shaped drawing; Bede had a heart-shaped Solosis drawing; Marnie had Morpeko with heart-shaped cheek pouches drawing. “Hop, I hate you,” the Fairy Type Gym Leader started scowling. While Hop thought he was already damaging their friendship, the blushing albino head also threw him and the others a Love Ball. “You make me look so underprepared that it hurts.” “Me too.” The Dark Type Gym Leader joined in as she too had four Love Balls. “Me three.” The secretary chimed in, also with another four Love Balls. “I’m an idiot,” Gloria was flushed red as she took out four boxes of chocolates. The gang bursted out laughing at their rightfully-called lover. Lovers... that rings nicely to my heart. Our heart.

[at-the-exd-of-everythixg]

✩ ][Rhys and Sal][

@blind-mutant

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice?

Sal,,,,he just,,,has no inside voice. He's the guy to run into the room screaming Rhys's name and Rhys just slowly looks up from where he's sitting right next to Sal.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does?

Rhys does because sometimes Sal actually listens a little to him! But as if he'd leave his Starshine.

Who actually keeps their word and leaves?

Sal ups and flies off for a bit to cool down. A bad part of him kind of wants to come back to Rhys being worried and actually wanting him back.

Who trashes the house?

Both of them do but mostly Rhys since Sal is gone by then.

Do either of them get physical?

Sal unintentionally if you count exploding as getting physical.

How often do they argue/disagree?

A LOT at first but they eventually get into a rhythm, Rhys learns how to deal with Sal and Sal learns to soften around Rhys so they definitely end up fighting less.

Who is the first to apologise?

Rhys! And u know what? It definitely makes Sal want to apologise more because goddammit don't be a good person Moonie.

Sex:

Who is on top?

Sal. Physically? Also Sal.

Who is on the bottom?

Rhys. As Sal likes to say, "There's no end ta' dis bottom Moon!" (He's drunk and horny when saying this).

Who has the strangest desires?

Rhys does for sure. But those two weeks in August? Sal's pulling a Magni and begging to be bred and to hear Rhys talking at all times.

Any kinks?

Rhys,,,it'd be easier to name what ISN'T his kink but he loves the lingerie, bondage, spanking and being shoved into his place by Sal. Sal's kinks include lingerie, admittedly he enjoys both ends of spanking and does being serenaded count as a kink? It definitely gets him wobbly in the knees.

Who’s dominant in bed?

Definitely Sal I'd actually laugh at Rhys being dominant to him.

Is head ever in the equation?

Always. I'm really shocked tha we've never written any kind of sixty-nining(?) With them since Sal adores sucking Rhys off and I wouldn't be too surprised if Rhys liked giving Sal head. The chance to have both of their faces buried and squeezing around each other's thighs? Maybe we don't write it because we know the boys would nut immediately.

If so, who is better at performing it?

Oof that's a tough one...honestly? No idea. Guess the boys will just have to have a contest over it ;)

Ever had sex in public?

Yup, over or under the bar counter.

Who moans the most?

Rhys does.

Who leaves the most marks?

Rhys also does because Sal is a peach and bruises ridiculously easy.

Who screams the loudest?

Rhys.

Who is the more experienced of the two?

Sal is since he does more men while being with Rhys and Cecil was rather longtime and constant while Rhys had some moments to himself and other patients.

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?

Fuck always. But y'know, Rhys can always turn it a bit mushy at the end and Sal can't dare get away.

Rough or soft?

Rough. Same gig with the fuck and mush stuff.

How long do they usually last?

I assume 30-20 minutes for Rhys? Sal can usually go 15 minutes for most dicks but advanced ones take more energy before he needs a few minutes to breath. Though this is due to the fact that Sal strains his powers and doesn't take care of himself + light poisoning over time. Fully powered and healthy? Two hours baby.

Is protection used?

Nah, not needed expect for two weeks ever August.

Does it ever get boring?

Nope, both of them are VERY infatuated with each other. If being vanilla was a kink then these two would be it.

Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? 

The bedroom of one of Sal's scams. But hey! When there's a heart shaped bed and valentines treats...

Family: (Going on the kid meme where Sal gets pregnant, plans to keep it a secret, but immediately blurts it out and starts crying as soon as Rhys walks into the room)

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children?

Absolutely not but sadly a lack of alien biology means they were not prepared for what those two weeks of August meant.

If so, how many children do your muses want/have?

Just one since its....already an emotional thing enough. Rhys can't handle Sal crying for 11 months again.

Who is the favorite parent?

Sal is because oh god he's softer than melted butter on his Lucky Star.

Who is the authoritative parent?

Rhys is but honestly? Not that authotive. He's melted chocolate.

Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school?

Sal is. He's never been and he turned out fine!.....ish.

Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around?

Rhys. Their baby is just as bad as Sal and now he has two short gremlins pawing at him for snaccs.

Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children?

Rhys will. He's a soccer mom.

Who goes to parent teacher interviews?

Both of them since they'd both mess up equally. Together??? A mess. But a hot one!

Who changes the diapers?

Sal does unfortunately. Luckily? Baby also does not use the bathroom as much as a normal human.

Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby?

Rhys will but Sal does in the early months since he just gets instincts up and going at first. ("The baby buzzed." "Oh she's hungry.")

Who spends the most time with the children?

Rhys will. Absolutely takes more time off in order to just spend time with his beautiful baby and mush about how it's his little piece of Sal all for him.

Who packs their lunch boxes?

Sal will because that's parent stuff!! He saw it on TV and that's the most parent thing he could do!

Who gives their children ‘the talk’?

They probably get Bex if I'm honest? Neither of them had a good experience with sex for the first time and I doubt an alien and a gay mutant catholic Irish boy would have been given a sex talk at all.

Who cleans up after the kids?

Rhys will.

Who worries the most?

Sal and Rhys both do but in different ways? If they get into a fight then Rhys will worry about their baby facing the bully without help and Sal will worry about teachers abandoning his baby.

Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from?

Sal 100% Swears to the kid when putting them to bed and that's the first thing baby greets Rhys with. A big ass swear out of their smol baby body.

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle?

Rhys does,,,and Sal.

Who is the little spoon?

Sal. Not intentionally!! But when you're that smol....Rhys love his little hot water bottle man.

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

Sal does and he isn't sorry.

Who struggles to keep their hands to themself?  

Sal must make things dirty or he will die.

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

It all depends on what can distract Sal or how long he's tired. Rhys's best bets are podcasts because Sal is amazed by them and will actually lay in his arms for fifty minutes to listen (and konks out halfway but shh).

Who gives the most kisses?

Rhys!! Sal's never been smooched so much in his life!!

What is their favourite non-sexual activity?

Probably flirting arguing over a podcast or Rhys explaining a book to Sal. Rhys's is trying to convince Sal that napping is a cool hobby but nah he ain't buying it old dusty man. ("Did yer really have t'add dusty?")

Where is their favourite place to cuddle?

In bed! With their blankets and pillows!!

Who is more likely to playfully grope the other? 

Both of these weenies.

How often do they get time to themselves?

Often, they have good working schedules so there's a lot of mornings and sometimes afternoons to themselves.

[strigital]

Headcanons: Hero of Kvatch - Kassandra Saryn

‘tis about time i did something like that with Kassie. so here we go!

Kassandra is a halfbreed: she’s got a Breton father and a Dunmer mother. She looks very much human in almost every way, from the shape of her face and complexion of her skin, to the Nibenayan accent of her speech and a preference for simpler, less posh things. The only elven things about her are her pointed ears, predisposition to magical arts and slower aging.

Kassie’s got heterochromia: her left eye is bright blue and her right eye is vibrant green, which is believed to be the result of mixed blood. Her unique physical traits are also attributed to her vast and complicated genealogical tree, which includes centuries worth of interracial marriages, infidelities and all sorts of blood mixing between men and mer you could possibly imagine.

Her natural hair color is chestnut brown, not pearly white. Her hair was bleached by exposure to strong magical energies at a very young age, when her mother used a teleportation spell on the girl and her twin in order to relocate them from Morrowind to High Rock, to their father’s family.

Getting such a dose of raw magical energy not only made her hair standout in the crowd, but also awoke her own magical talents. Kassie got predisposition to Destruction and Illusion, while her little sister’s magic leaned towards Restoration and Alteration.

Kass considers herself a self-taught mage like her mother, though anyone at the Mages Guild would call her incompetent, unskilled and dangerous to both herself and her surroundings, especially after you learn that this girl favors Fire spells over anything else. She’s chosen fire not so much because of her Fire Resistance inherited from her mom, but rather because of many ways she finds instant fire out of nowhere useful in the wilds. However, Kass is NOT good with her spells: most of them aren’t even real spells, just random conjurations of magical fire and as such, most often than not, she ends up burning something. Usually herself. A nasty burn scar on her left arm and a frequent smell of burnt hair are constant reminders that she's in a dire need of a tutor. On the other hand, her skills in the arts of Illusion are a lot better. The only spells she knows from this school are a Candlelight and a somewhat effective Chameleon which are quite useful and help her out far more often that a little wild magical fire. Lucien believes that the reason why she’s far more successful as an Illusionist, rather than a Pyromancer is because one of her signs is the Shadow, which is known to favor anything that has to do with invisibility and sneak.

Kass was born under two signs, which even Uriel Septim VII himself believed to be of prophetic significance. She was born during the season of the Shadow, on the 5th of the Second Seed, 410 of 3rd Era, yet a wandering sign with no assigned season, which is known to pop up on the night sky every now and again - the Serpent - was also present on the night of her birth. Kass believes that the Serpent is responsible for all the misery in her life, but the Shadow is the one which allowed her to dodge all those miseries despite all odds.

After her daring escape from an orphanage as a kid, Kass ventured to the Imperial Reserve, where a huntsman from Chorrol named Honditar took her in as his apprentice. She’d spend summers at his lodge, learning the secrets of survival in the wilds and would leave before winter, when he went back to the city ‘till next spring. Kass then would go to the Gottlesfont Priory, where kind nuns gladly took her in and taught her about herbs and traditional medicine. Those were the best days of her life.

Years spent living in the wilds made her quite an aloof. She developed a strong dislike for cities and civilization in general, preferring thick woodlands over cramped streets any day. She would only leave the woods and go to the nearest town in order to trade furs and occasional treasure for soap or new clothes. If a certain winter happened to be a bit too harsh she’d find a job at a farmstead as a shepherd or a maid, but as soon as thaw began she’d disappear into the wilds once more. On the other hand, she became a real pro at all this survival stuff. She could make a trap out of anything, track down almost any living being and never get lost in the woods. One look around and she’d immediately know where’s the north, how far is the nearest river and what kind of predator frequents this place. Unfortunately, this also means that she’s absolutely helpless in a city. The streets confuse her, the people annoy her, the guards scare her and there’s no way of telling which way is the exit! Her life in the cities became easier once she discovered a way onto the rooftops though.

Because the wilds are never truly safe, Kass learned to sleep like a rabbit, with her ears perked up and listening. She’s such an incredibly light sleeper, that even Lucien couldn’t sneak up on her during the night of their first official meeting. On the other hand, she has serious troubles getting well rested and can’t stay asleep for longer than four hours without a cup of strong chamomile tea or a sleeping potion. That makes her the second insomniac of the Cheydinhal family right after the Speaker.

Since she’s the wild hermit from the forest, Kassie is an absolute tragedy when it comes to high class socializing. She can’t do small talk to save her own life, doesn’t understand when someone is flirting with her or how to pay back a compliment and most of the jokes totally fly over her head! She is polite, however, mostly due to her having some experience working as a servant girl. Also because of her uncivilized way of life, Kass never had a lesson in courtship. Poor baby does not understand all those sexual innuendos and metaphors people keep telling, has no idea what sexuality is and is absolutely clueless when it comes to sex and/or making out. Madam Josele finds her innocence irresistibly adorable and more than once scolded Lucien for attempting to use his charms on the poor girl.

As such, Kass was never in love before joining the Brotherhood. Lucien Lachance was her crush since day one and he, knowing that, deliberately manipulated her with his charms in order to make her a loyal little puppy by rewarding good behavior with a smooch or a suggestive smile, but punishing undesirable actions by giving her a cold shoulder or talking in harsh professional tone. That being said, Kassie felt that her feelings towards her boss were doomed and so she kept her options open. During one of her contracts she met a rather dashing Dunmeri merchant from Wayrest, with whom she exchanged letters for quite a few months after he went back to High Rock to his boring wife. However, Vicente was the one who pushed Kassie towards Lucien and when she insisted that he already had a mistress, the vampire said something that made her change her mind in an instant: “she gives him what he wants, but you give him what he needs.”

Later in the future, when she becomes a mother to Lucien’s only child and a future High Listener - Lawrence - Kass won’t stay to rebuild the Brotherhood after the civil war. She’ll disappear beyond the mysterious blue door in the middle of Bravil’s lake to never be seen again.

Kass may have a very simple taste in clothes, but boy does she know how to make them! Even though her auntie and a step mother died before the girl was five, she learned quite a few things from her before her demise. Sussana Saryn was a quite popular tailor in Anvil and did miracles with all those fabrics her husband brought to her from across the seas on his ship, and Kassie was always there to help with sewing. Give the girl a piece of cloth, a few needles and a thread and you’ll have a simple but cute dress in less than a day!

Kass is crazy for simple, energetic folk dances, which she learned whilst working at farmsteads during harvest seasons. Nothing gets her feet moving as much as a violin and a handsome farmer’s boy with whom she could spin under a linden tree in the late afternoon ‘till she loses her breath. Ah! Truly happiness lies in small things like these.

Because most of her adolescence she was malnourished, Kass has fallen victim to stunted growth. Even at the age of twenty she’s got thin limbs, small hips and little to no volume in her chest area. Because of this she looks unthreatening and small, which in some cases greatly helps her with contracts in crowded cities and other places where the ability to be unnoticeable is crucial to the success.

Kassie dislikes people, because for the most of her life they were cruel to her and indifferent to her miseries. For this reason she always preferred the company of animals, because in her eyes an animal will not lie, betray or deceive: if it wants to kill you it growls and does not pretend to be your best friend, and if it is truly your best friend then it will gladly follow you to Oblivion and back. Even after joining the Brotherhood she remains quite introverted, preferring to play with Schemer when everyone else is gossiping at the dinner table, or go for a walk with Ragnar rather than have dull conversations with other members of the Black Hand.

For some reason Kass dislikes felines. Maybe it’s because she has to constantly compete with wild big cats for food in the forest, or because she was robbed by Khajiiti highwaymen so many times... She just doesn’t like felines: housecats, wild senches, Khajiits or anything in-between she doesn’t like. The only exception is Vicente’s cat, who lives in his mansion in Blacktown. She’s a fluffy gray Alfiq named after the Queen-Wolf, who somehow managed to win over Kassie’s heart with her big eyes and melodic meows. Must be her magic!

That being said, Kass only makes friends with a few people at the time and stays loyal to them ‘till the end. Her best friend is, of course, Vicente, whom she found very likeable since their first meeting. Monsieur Valtieri became like a father figure to her, a mentor and a friend in one person. She always found vampires fascinating, because they live for so long and most certainly must know a great deal of things! Even in times when she’d doubt Lucien’s decisions, her trust in Vicente’s wisdom would remain absolute.

Kassandra may be polite, shy and unnoticeable, but she certainly can make her own decisions. It is often believed that she’ll do anything for the Brotherhood and will never disobey an order, but in truth she always does things as her heart says. If she’s given an order which doesn’t make sense in her mind and just screams “not right!” at her, she’ll do things her own way. The job will be done, but the contractor may be left displeased.

Her favorite season will always be spring, because with thaw comes warmth, longer days, first harvest of berries and mushrooms, prey comes out from hiding... With spring she can breathe easier, knowing that hungry winter is behind and for the next few months she’ll be busy hunting, gathering and exploring away from those pesky humans and their suffocating cities. Her favorite weather happens to be heavy rain in summer, when the sun is brightly shining from behind the clouds, whilst a wall of warm water falls from the sky, rejuvenating vegetation and washing away dust and sweat. On the other hand, she hates storms. Lightning and thunder were always scary, but in the middle of the woods at night? Absolute nightmare.

Kassie’s favorite food (and beverage) will always be milk. Just your simple milk straight from under a cow. Since most of her diet usually consists of roasted game, raw berries and an occasional fruit, the “normal people’s food” like bread, milk and soup are rare commodities in her life. A glass of warm milk is all it takes to make this lil’ elf a happy camper.

However, ever since becoming Lucien’s agent Kass developed a taste for apples, specifically those big red ones the Speaker always orders from Bretoni merchants. They’re big, sweet and juicy and most importantly they keep both her and her horses well fed.

Once she learned that everyone and their mother in the Brotherhood have their own postal pets, be it a bird, a bat or a magical construct, Kass didn’t hesitate to get her hands on her very own courier. After many hours spent walking about the animal market, she chose a small but witty flying fox, brought to Cyrodiil by poachers from the jungles of Elsweyr. She named her Chestnut.

After some phenomenal events in her life, Kass became heavily involved in Brother Martin’s life. Despite her constantly running back underground to deal with the Brotherhood’s problems, she and Martin became good friends. In fact, she was the only one the prince was not afraid to share his secrets with. At some point she even brought him the Rose of Sanguine so he could destroy it in his ritual and through this, symbolically, destroy his own dark past. He never forgot this gesture.

Kass is one of the few living people who knows that the last Septim did not die at the battle for the Imperial City. She made sure that nobody ever learns of what truly happened on that terrible night and provided Martin, who was no longer in possession of Dragon’s blood nor the Amulet of Kings, with quiet, safe and anonymous life somewhere in the meadows of the newly rebuild county of Kvatch. She’d visit him once every few months up until her journey to the Shivering Isles.

whoo boy, another long one, eh?

welp, y’all know the rules: if you made it to the end have a cookie and praise our Dark Lord while eating it C:

[himacchu]

👣

im making this shit up as i go don’t mind me

pregnancy

do the parents have one child or are there twins, triplets, etc.?

Hima, having grown up with a shitton of siblings, thinks it would be ULTRA fun to have as many kids as possible. Don’t know where her logic came from on this, considering most of her siblings hate her guts, but, when does she ever make sense? Maybe she’s compensating.

But, anyway! Let’s say, twins, for the first pregnancy! A boy and a girl. You know Hima’s gonna be over the moon when they arrive.

what do the parents name the baby(ies)?

I think both Ash and Hima would like cool, striking names–Alex would be one! And for the girl, Amber! Alliteration, gotta love it!

did the parents discuss other names, too?

Hima would spend a lot of time daydreaming over names, and every now and then she’ll go bug Ash with “HEY! Whaddya think of _____? Or ____? Or this or this or this or—!!!” She won’t stop.

Stealing from this old thing, Aster would probably be one of the names they’re partial to!

how do they decide on the name(s)?

Both, at the same time: “They uuUUUuuuH Sounded Cool.” They’re both simpletons.

what would the child have been named if they had been the opposite sex?

Whether there was two boys, or two girls, the other would be Aster, which is pretty gender neutral, luckily!

did the parents find out the sex during pregnancy or is it a surprise?

Hima insists on it being a surprise. It’ll be like finding a totally new Pokémon, she says. Not…not really, Hima.

were there any complications in the pregnancy?

evil cackling oh boy could you imagine how juicily devastating it would be for Hima to suffer a miscarriage? You know I’m into suffering.

But, no. Mars will fret and make absolutely sure that everything is going smoothly for her baby sister.

Though we can save it for an AU, maybe.

which parent carried the baby?

Ash, clearly.

how easy was it for them to conceive?

*legally blonde voice* what, like it’s hard? I uh! Have only a vague idea about how the technical stuff works tbh so! Anyways.

was the child carried to term?

Hm! Sure, why not.

did the parents deliver in a hospital, at home, or somewhere else?

Mars absolutely doesn’t trust these primitive human hospitals and their practices, but! Hima wants the Real Earth Experience ™, so they go to a hospital.

did the delivery go according to plan?

The doctors are probably extremely baffled by Hima’s unusually high pain threshold, but it goes fine.

did the parents have any daily rituals (reading to their belly, etc.)?

Ash’s ritual is trying to get Hima to fucking sit down and rest. She’s really wanting to play with Pokémon and take care of her berry farm.

do the parents have a baby shower?

Hima’s under the impression that this a Required Earth Tradition ™, and you know both parents are right there for any excuse to eat cake, so yes.

what about a babymoon?

A whomst now.

how supportive was the other parent during the pregnancy?

Ash seems like he’d definitely be supportive! I feel like he’d worry a lot ‘cause he’s not sure what’s going on, though.

which parent worried the most and which one was chill?

Ash would probably worry, but Hima’s got an ‘everything will turn out fine!’ sort of attitude.

which parent left pregnancy books all over the house and which didn’t touch them?

They probably don’t get much of those in the first place. They’re wingin’ it.

infancy/toddler

is the child a good sleeper?

Amber sleeps like a rock, but rolls around all over the place. Alex might wake up in the middle of the night and wail like a banshee.

how often does the child cry?

Alex is the crier. Amber will stick her whole fist in his mouth to shut him up.

which parent finds it easier to get them to stop?

Hima! She’s very patient with them.

how does the child behave at bath time?

Lots of splashing! They’re very fascinated by the water and make an absolute mess. Both parents think it’s a riot, though.

what is the child’s first word?

Fuck. Ash stubs his toe once and says it so loud it leaves an impression.

how bad do the child’s diapers smell and which parent has the misfortune of changing them?

They’re…average? Ash and Hima take turns.

which parent has a harder time adapting to their new role?

Maybe Ash, but they’re both having a blast with it. They probably think of it like taking care of Pokémon. That’s not how it works, guys.

just how terrible are the terrible twos?

Alex will bite things and Amber bonks him on the head when he acts up. She’s weirdly responsible for her age.

does the child go to day care? if they do, how old are they when they start?

They start around three!

if the child doesn’t go to day care, who says home to look after them?

Since Hima stays home to take care of her berry farm anyways, she’ll take them with her.

which parent babyproofs the house?

Neither–it’s Delia and Mars.  What are these fucknuts doing, Mars thinks.

which parents designs the baby room?

Both, but Hima’s more into it. She has a blast making it as colorful as possible.

which parent is more likely to give in to tantrums?

Alex is more of the tantrum type than Amber is, and depending on what he’s mad about/wants, both parents will do their best to calm him down and think through what the best course of action is.

is the child spoiled with toys?

Oh, definitely. It’s not necessarily that they’re bought whatever they want, but Hima will get everything cute she sees in the store.

which parent does the potty training?

Both!

which parent has to take them outside to hose them down after a particularly nasty diaper?

Either will do it.

which parent do they take after more?

Alex is like. an angrier version of Ash. Amber is actually a bit like Delia! With Hima’s cheeriness mixed in.

what habits do they pick up from their parents?

Alex might pick up a verbal tic similar to, but not exactly “uh-huh.” But of course, both love Pokémon as much as their parents do!

how often is the parents’ date night now?

Probably not as much as it used to be! But they still make time for each other.

who babysits when the parents go out?

Delia or Uncle 🅱itchie

child

how did the parents decide what school to send the child to? or was the child home-schooled?

They go to the local elementary school in Pallet Town.

who packs the lunches?

Hima has a lot of fun cutting their sandwiches into shapes and arranging the lunch box nice n’ pretty, but she can’t actually cook much without Delia’s help.

are the lunches eaten by the child, or thrown away?

Alex might get embarrassed from the cutesiness of it, but Amber will shove the food in his mouth if she has to.

which parent helps with homework?

Hima, since she’s definitely had more education. But she’s shit at explaining things.

what does the report card look like?

As much as he doesn’t like to admit it, Alex studies, and he does well. Amber gets great grades easily.

is the child/ren popular, or only have a few friends?

Amber is naturally charismatic, but Alex gets into fights easily. He chills out later on, though.

does the child play a sport?

They both play soccer!

does the child play an instrument?

Nope :0c

do both parents turn up to the matches/recitals?

Yep!

which parent buys their clothes? or does the child pick out their own clothes?

Hima buys the clothes initially, but she has Bad Taste, so eventually they pick out their own.

what’s the child’s style?

Both kiddos like sporty sorts of clothes!

is the child more interested in playing inside or outside?

They’re very encouraged to play outside and explore on their own.

how often does the child get in trouble? what do they get in trouble for?

Alex will fuckin fight anyone, you can imagine how that goes. Amber is a little goody-two-shoes, but with a bit of a mischievous streak.

does the child have any siblings/cousins? how well do they get along?

Two little sisters, named Alice and Celeste because I’m extremely creative

what pet does the child beg for? do they get it?

They are excited about getting Pokémon eventually!

is the child shy and reserved, or outgoing and gregarious?

Amber is sociable with everyone, but Alex prefers the company of Pokémon.

does the child still take after the same parent they did as a toddler?

A little less so! They’re becoming pretty distinct from their parents.

….I’m not gonna do the rest cause I just can’t think that far rn. But! Here’s some headcanons.

- Alex has an extremely strong sense of justice and is good at cooking. Some of the kids talk smack about his mom for bein Weird and he will punch their lights out. He’s also got a severe case of resting bitch face. He shows a softer expression around Pokémon, though, especially cute baby ones. When he’s little he hides behind Amber a lot and hisses at everyone else. He’s short and salty about it. Makes faces when his parents smooch. Momma’s (and Grandma’s) boy but respects his dad a lot. Scared to shits of Grandma Xena, though. Picks Charmander as his starter.

- Amber is a Big Fuckin Lesbian. Very popular w girls. The type to play the prince in the school play. Also decent at cooking. She’s actually scarier than Alex is when she’s angry. She wears her hair in pigtails like mom used to, early on, but switches to a single ponytail. She’s the one to be silly with her parents. She picks Squirtle!

- Bonus! Alice and Celeste. Both are pretty quiet, but in different ways. Alice is grumpy and would rather read than talk. She befriends a Croagunk on a vacation to Sinnoh. Celeste is very timid and is pretty much glued to mom and dad and her older siblings, always hiding behind them. She wants to have a Pikachu just like her parents do.

- Alex is soft on Celeste, but Alice freaks him out. She constantly talks shit to him. rip in peace

- Amber has the respect of all her siblings, even Alice.

[3one3]

The Sequel - 820

Chocolate Chips

André Schürrle, Juan Mata, other Chelsea/BVB players, and random awesome OC’s (okay they’re less random now but they’re still pretty awesome)

original epic tale

all chapters of The Sequel

Getting from Miami back to Dortmund was more complicated and time consuming for Christina, Espen, and Lukas than for Nick and Rio. The horses would board a KLM flight from Miami International to Schiphol Sunday evening, and would be loaded on a truck for the 2.5-hour road trip home from there on Monday afternoon. The humans had to get on an American Airlines flight on Saturday night, spend an hour and a half at Heathrow at 9 on Sunday morning, fly another hour and a half to Düsseldorf with British Airlines, and then fidget for 45 minutes in a pre-arranged taxi to get home to Ahlenberg. André expected his wife to want lunch and either a walk around the property to stretch her legs, or a rest on the couch to relax and let go of the travel stress. Espen wanted to go home, and did. Lukas wanted to nap, and did. Christina wanted to take her clothes off and get in André’s lap, and did. It was there that she enjoyed her most satisfying ride of the weekend.

“Easy, baby,” he told her when her nails dug into his back. She had one arm around his neck and one threaded under his arm so she could hold his shoulder, and her face right next to his. His hold on her, on her butt and her back, was much more gentle. They were on the couch in the living room. The rider was trying to use the ability of her strong abdominal, thigh, and butt muscles to move her hips and thus her body in a way that would convey how glad she was to be home, and how much she missed her partner. It was such a relief to her to be able to see him in person, and touch him, and hear his voice without the effect of her iPhone speaker. It wasn’t all down to the scare on Tuesday either. Being away from him was just a lot harder when he wasn’t being mean to her all the time and picking fights, and when her riding wasn’t a problem but wasn’t exciting either. The actual competition wasn’t fun or interesting enough to distract her from missing her 6’ blonde, and she didn’t have any personal issues in the saddle to torment and pull her mind away from simply longing for him. For example, Saturday was the second and final part of the Global Champions League competition, and the Grand Prix, and the most excited Christina felt throughout the day was while she had her second breakfast and watched Marco score two minutes into his first game back after being injured forever, again. And even that was short lived, because Marco was always making André look useless by comparison. He wasn’t useless to her.

“Kiss,” she demanded when she let go of his shoulder and paused her moderately paced bouncing.

“Do you want to turn around so I can help you?” the footballer suggested before pecking her lips and then her neck. Christina came back from two weeks in sunnier climes looking like some kind of goddess to him. Her skin was toasted and her complexion made shiny, her hair was many more colors than when she left, and believe it or not, her grayed-blue eyes looked a lot less tired. That her first priority was working to rectify their intimacy deficit endeared her to him further. It was all love coming from her, not some need for sexual gratification. Still, he wanted to give her the second thing too, especially in light of what she did with her lips before climbing on. “Let me help,” he said, and smooched her again. In his experience, she never got off by facing him and moving up and down or rocking back and forth. If she faced away, he had better access to rub her sensitive spots.

“I had to wait more than three weeks to see you and you want me to turn around where I can’t see you?” The sun-kissed rider kept her face as close to the footballer’s as possible, as if to scan its contours at close range with the tip of her nose.

“I just want to make you feel good,” André chuckled.

“Kissing you makes me feel good,” his wife replied, lips as close to his as possible without actually being engaged in a kiss. Her fingertips- gentled, and with claws retracted- settled on each of his cheeks.

“Then do you want to lie down so you can kiss me and get off at the same time?”

“What’s the hurry?”

“There isn’t one, I just...You’re just very sexy.”

“So what you mean is my sexiness is so extreme that you need to go to town on me and do the thing and you have no self-restraint?”

“Yes. Yes that’s it exactly.” He smiled across at her, thin lips together like he was trying not to smirk, though he had no intention of concealing the truth. He didn’t think she’d be upset to know he just wanted her, and that her want for him was such a turn on. He didn’t think she’d feel used or something, or take it the wrong way. That was something that kept happening between them, for a long, long time. They kept reading their gestures and their words the wrong way, and it made them both wonder what was going wrong- why there was some translation problem in between. Rather unexpectedly, it seemed to him as if that problem was going away while Christina was away. The player thought she was being more open with him instead of guarding against bad reactions, and that she was understanding everything he said in the way he intended rather than latching onto the worst possible interpretation and adding it to some case file of evidence toward her indictment of their future together. He might have actually been a little wrong on that, since she was actually keeping a lot of her thoughts and feelings from him while she was traveling, preferring instead to share them with Juan only, but he wasn’t wrong about how she’d take his desire upon her return. She smiled back, rolled her eyes a bit, and then pecked his forehead.

André leaned back out of the way while she lifted up to do a 180 in his lap. Sometimes she tried to make a stripper or prostitute trick out of spinning around on him without first getting off his favorite appendage. It was a lot easier to just get up and move. Two very large and warm palms greeted her breasts as she settled on him again, and she felt his breath at her neck. That was a pretty good way to be close too. The rider relaxed back against her player’s chest and let him take turns holding her up a little so he could control the tempo and speed at which he moved in and out of her, and letting her do it herself while he rubbed her clit the way she liked. Christina still found ways to kiss him. It hurt her neck to turn so far around, but she managed, and when it got uncomfortable then he just made sure to keep his lips and even his tongue on her shoulder, or her neck, or her cheek. He toyed with her too, bringing her very close, knowing for sure from the sounds she made and the way she tensed the muscles in her behind that she was fighting not to finish until she got the exact feeling she wanted, and then taking his hand away from where they were joined. He hugged her waist with one arm and used one finger to gently feel around that area after he forced her to experience that which she was trying to delay for the right second, and he felt something he hadn’t in a while.

It’s really good to be with her when I know for sure that she wasn’t just with Juan, or with him recently, André thought during the little break he granted his wife. Her ribs grew against his arm a little less each time she breathed. Some of the hair falling out of her top knot tickled his shoulders and collarbones. I never really feel like she’s different, physically- it’s not like I know someone else’s cock has been inside her- but there is always something in the back of my mind. I love it when it’s like she can only get this from me. I don’t even know what “this” is, but...it’s there. It’s real. There is a thing she only looks to me for, and I don’t even know if it actually has anything to do with sex but I know she can get it from that. I love that its what she wants as soon as she gets home. I hope it means she’ll think twice about how she schedules her next shows.

“Your turn, babe,” Christina mumbled lazily. “Like this, or do you want my mo-“

“Like this. Don’t even move, pretty girl.”

She took her turn to zone out while André “went to town” and did “the thing”. She just felt good being near him again, and being able to smell his deodorant and clean t-shirt scent, and feel his voice against her skin. He sounded so much better in person, and not just because he spoke to her differently when they were having sex than when they were talking about what he had for dinner. It really did give her that coming home feeling. And she was sure that was a good thing- that André feeling like home again was a good thing, no matter what it meant for her relationship with the other midfielder in her life. But she didn’t take a second out to acknowledge that whatever she thought or felt immediately following a well built to orgasm could be hyperbolic in nature, or naive, or deliberately overlooking something. It was too nice a moment to be that rational.

It also happened to be Easter, so André presented his girl with a basket full of treats after she went upstairs to clean up, put her luggage in her dressing room, and put one of his crewneck sweatshirts on herself. He thought that was cute, but not as cute as the way her eyes grew when she started taking apart the basket. Besides the standard chocolate bunny, cuddly plush bunny, pastel almond M&M’s eggs, and fake grass, he got her frosted sugar cookies in the shape of bunnies, bunny and chick macaroons, a stack of chewy chocolate chip cookies, an individually wrapped gourmet brownie with extra dark chocolate and a hint of orange zest, a carrot-shaped and colored plastic bag of popcorn, and some flat chocolate eggs with pretzels, caramel, and sea salt on the top to make them look like decorated Easter eggs. There were fresh yellow daffodils to go with it. He got a smaller basket for Lukas too, with a lot of marshmallow treats, and an egg decorating kit so that they could do that together after his nap. André even hardboiled 18 eggs in preparation. He’d never boiled an egg before. His mom made fun of him when he called her to ask how. First he asked the Internet, but he didn’t trust the answers. There was too much conflicting advice on boil time, rest time, ice baths, and additives. He hid some wooden eggs around the back yard for Lukas to find too.

Easter was an important holiday for his family when he was growing up. It was a big deal. Easter for Christina’s family was just the egg painting, the egg hunt, and a barbecue. They only managed to really celebrate it once since they got together, because of their busy schedules. When the rider was pregnant, her in-laws came to London to do a big Easter dinner. André knew that wasn’t happening since everyone was waiting for Melanie to pop, and Christina would knife him if he asked her to roast a lamb or something on the day she got home, so he bought sausages, rolls, ground beef for cheeseburgers, and some pre-constructed chicken kebobs with peppers, onion, and cherry tomatoes, as well as the ingredients for her barbecue sauce recipe. Having a bookshelf in their kitchen meant having things like actual cookbooks and her folder of printed out recipes right where he could find them. Most of her experiments came from the web, but she had two or three very old cookbooks with trusted recipes flagged with everything from little Post-Its to folded napkins. André knew from experience that the only barbecue sauce she liked in the whole wide world was in there, and got the stuff for her to make it when he realized it was only a few things and not very labor intensive. All of this forethought and effort earned him the “I love you so much it hurts” face, and then Christina wanted to sit on him and eat chocolate for a while.

“Slow down and save some for dessert,” he told her when she bit into her second cookie.

“You’ve been such a busy little Easter Bunny. They need to get your boo-boo fixed up so you don’t have all this free time,” she told him, ignoring the suggestion. She sat sideways across his lap on the couch with her back on the corner cushion, and had her plush black bunny under her arm. The black bunny was particularly dear to her, because she couldn’t imagine anybody else buying someone a black Easter Bunny, or anyone else knowing that she would love it.

“I can try a little running tomorrow. How about you? How is your ankle?” The temporarily injured player grasped the chronically injured rider’s ankle and palpated around the spot that was most often swollen.

“It’s okay. Not better, not worse. I think saltwater helps. I went in the ocean two days within like an hour of riding in the morning and that was the best that it felt. These cookies are amazing. Where did you get all this stuff?” Maybe I don’t wanna know, Christina considered, glancing at the basket on her lap. This could be dangerous. I shouldn’t know where to get delicious cookies.

“At the Easter market downtown.”

“Oh, so there isn’t some bakery I can go to when I’m in a bad mood and get one of these?”

“Some of the sellers are from local places and some just do the holiday markets and events, I think. I bought the baskets at one stall and then went around to different tables to pick the things to put inside. Isn’t there a label on the package?”

“No. Did you not like any of the pre-made baskets or did you remember when I said I hate the pre-made baskets because you can never get all the things you want and half the stuff you don’t like anyway?”

“It’s quite difficult to get a pre-made Easter basket for a girl who doesn’t like milk chocolate, marshmallow, or cream eggs.”

“Are you saying I’m difficult?”

“I would never.”

“Where are my puppies?”

“At work.”

“How long do you have to go to work tomorrow? How much of the day can you spend with me?”

“Who are you and at which horse show did you replace my wife?” André teased, again confident that Christina wouldn’t take his joke too seriously.

“Shut up. I told you how much I missed you. I need to catch up. And I have to go to London on Wednesday, so-“

“What for? You didn’t mention that.” His easy tone flattened in an instant, and his eyes finally dropped away from her previously adorable face. Let me guess. She missed Juan just as much and now she needs to go do this same thing with him too.

“To help Isa close up the barn, mostly. Cornflakes and Wizzy are going to Box Hill on Tuesday. Also I need a haircut and I don’t trust anybody but my regular guy, and Juan and his dad are opening the restaurant that night. I can squeeze all of that into one trip.” It wasn’t lost on her that she’d steered their lovely afternoon into unpleasant territory, despite her casual tone and nonchalant explanation. She just hoped that talking about her 24-hour hop to London as if it were some small, inconsequential thing that she just had to do would duly make André see it that way too. She took another bite of her yummy cookie and glanced over at his downcast but still beautiful jewel toned eyes. “It’s important to him- the opening night,” she added more quietly. “And I have to go over anyway. I have to make sure everything is taken care of at the barn. I don’t want Isa to finish on his last day and accidentally leave a door open somewhere, or leave a trough right side up to fill with water every time it rains, and he needs me to look through what equipment and supplies are still there to tell him what to send here and what to leave, take, or throw away. I haven’t had a haircut since Christmas and I’d rather go to the person who’s been doing it for me for 5 years than gamble on a new stylist here. It’s better to just make one trip instead of three, right? More time with you...” She just kept going on and on because her seat wouldn’t say anything. She also tried poking at his hand holding the base of her basket for her on her legs.

“I see.”

“I just planned it out this morning. The restaurant had the soft opening Friday, so they didn’t set the real opening date until yesterday after they were sure everything was good to go, and then Isa just told me the ponies are going on Tuesday. Nat didn’t even tell me yet, by the way, which is...Well, let’s just say I have feelings about it.”

“Okay.”

“Please don’t be upset with me,” Christina begged, cracking. It was clear that André wasn’t taking her news as “no big deal”, and there was no point in continuing to pretend.

“I’m not upset with you,” he corrected. “I’m upset with...how things are.”

“That sounds like the same thing.”

“I wish you didn’t want to go see him. I wish you didn’t miss him the same.”

“I’m not going there because I want to see him,” his wife countered emphatically. She put her half eaten cookie down inside the plastic packaging and wiped her palms together to get rid of the crumbs so that she could try to pull his face closer by the neck to give him a cheek smooch. “If I didn’t have other reasons to go, I wouldn’t be going. I wouldn’t just go see him.” I can’t say that I don’t miss him the same though, because I’m dying to see him. The only reason I wouldn’t just go see him is that it would get this reaction.

“All right.”

“And if you somehow get to go to Monaco with the guys and you get to play, I’ll watch at the restaurant. I know for sure the bar has some TV’s.”

“All right.”

The worried rider relocated her basket of sweets to the empty cushion next to her player, relocated her legs down on top of and between his, and tried to hug around his waist while burrowing into it with her face. She thought she could fix his disappointment with extreme snuggles. She thought it was working when he put a hand on her back between her shoulder blades and another in the back of her hair. I don’t know if it’s possible to communicate a lie through a hug, but I hope it is, and I hope it isn’t really a lie anyway. I don’t want to upset him, and I don’t want him to think he’s just one of two. I miss Juanin like crazy too but not the same way. It’s different, somehow, Christina argued with herself. If someone gave me a choice last night and said that there would be no knock-on effect, no secondary considerations...I would still choose to come here, not go to Juan. I needed boyfriend.

“I need you,” she mumbled, almost by accident.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“What did you say?”

“I said I need you,” she sighed. “I was running on empty. I need you or life isn’t...anything. It’s just a series of things I do every day. This you- Or the you that you were until a few minutes ago, who talks to me about stuff every day, and thinks of me, and wants to make everything nice, and understands what I say back to him, and can tell me a thousand important things in a kiss or a squeeze...I need that you. You’re the chocolate chips. My life is just a boring, empty cookie without the chocolate chips. Or something. I don’t know.” Even when I escape to the beach with Juan and get to feel good, real life is still bland and flavorless if things aren’t good with Schü. A holiday is always going to be nice. It’s the stuff in between holidays that needs to catch up.