#and hey.....minkey.

[raytoroapologist]

hey remember less than a year ago when a good portion of mcr fans on here called him minkey and then it stopped suddenly and nobody ever brought it up again

[namelessdubu]

I just decided I will start promoting my SHINee fanfictions on AO3.

So as an introduction: I write canon compliant (with a few exceptions), I dedicate mostly to Minkey but I've been trying with some Onyu aswell as 2Min and Jongkey. I love writing long romantic/drama trops but they usually have some smut (at least a bit), I also write quite some PWP because hey life's short.

[minhoinator]

Hey I have nothing to ask but I just want to inform you that I borrow your original child characters name (Kim Yeongjin) for my minkey fics, I've spend so many times finding a korean girls name but I'm still stucked with your works, and I really really loved all of your works that's why I decided to borrow yours. Sorry for putting it here, I can't send you dms here and on twitter. I hope you don't mind!

I don’t mind at all! Finding names that work and that you like can be hard, and i’m glad you liked that one enough to use it yourself 😌

[peppertaemint]

hey! on the army/shawol drama –

i am a shawol and an army (or well... i am a bts fan lol i don't like associating with armys if i can help it) and to be completely honest i did see a level of nastiness coming from shawols this time around that i hadn't seen in a long long time. the accounts with the more inflammatory tweets seem to have either deleted or gone private for now except for this one: https://twitter.com/arcticminkey/status/1628075402156552215 / https://twitter.com/arcticminkey/status/1628111485078470678 ("didn't even change the spelling" 😭 of a four-letter word?!)

those tweets in particular annoyed me because they use the same rhetoric armys love to use (and which i loathe) – accusing other artists of "ripping off" their faves instead of acknowledging their autonomy, creativity and even humanity.

now i don't know if sm fans were already on edge because of the sm/hybe acquisition (understandably) and decided to take their frustration out on this – or if it was because the shinee plagiarism series holds a special meaning for many people – i think all of those things combined + the usual fan war logic might explain the overreaction. but yeah, i don't think shawols were all that innocent this time around. there WERE a lot of nice shawols who also shut that shit down fast, as expected, but i thought the loud minority was loud and especially nasty.

obviously armys were ten times as vile in response – WAY disproportionate, like you said, and like it tends to be. they make not knowing anything about kpop their personality and then have the nerve to call artists "flops" when they don't know them. just absolute fucking twats. lol if i may.

(apparently some of the louder elements on the shawol side turned out to be ex-armys, which sort of supports a pattern i have been noticing for a while. armys are fucking annoying and call these people "leftovers", acting like they hold a grudge against bts specifically, but – to me at least – the issue is that while they move away from bts they do not unlearn the superiority complex, bullishness, and overall nastiness that they practiced as armys, and bring it with them wherever they go. genuinely when i say armys have made fan culture worse as a whole i mean it. this is based on my impression of things and not any hard data though lol so i concede i might be way off.)

anyway! the whole thing was ridiculous. any plagiarism accusations over common phrases are ridiculous. i concur with the last anon who is asking for jimin on nolto. MAXIMISING THEIR JOINT SLAY etc.

also re: shinee contracts: if i'm not mistaken their contract extensions are usually 3 years long. they renewed their original 7-year contract in 2015 for 3 more years, then again in 2018 for 3 more years. contracts are frozen during enlistment, so if my calculations are correct they should be renegotiating fairly soon, once taemin is out. not sure what that means in the grand scheme of the hybe/sm takeover but i believe that's the timeline. (i agree with your take on the situation btw – i really don't think groups and solo artists like shinee will be affected creatively, and they'll retain their usual freedom in that regard, but i do worry that if hybe stays obsessed with targeting the US then artists who are "only" popular domestically might see their promotional activities take a backseat. i hope i'm wrong. we'll see!)

sorry this was so long! appreciate your blog :)

Hi! Thank you for sending this in for more balance.

I have that account on mute, which is why I never saw that crap. And I'll be controversial (but also agree with you) - ex army are spreading gross behaviours. But shippers are also at the route of a lot of shitty behaviour. I say that as someone who likes shipping for fun so I see it. I've seen a lot of weird stuff from MinKey shippers in the last year. And no surprise the account you mention is in that category. Other ship accounts are problematic too but MinKeyers have been the worst lately. They just get way too comfortable speaking on things they shouldn't. They had a whole thing about MinKey bringing gay marriage to Korea.... yeah. Read that again. If you're a fan of Key or SHINee, it should be pretty fucking obvious why that's a really bizarre and just grossly insensitive way to go.

But anyway. There will always be nastiness and as SHINee World keeps growing, it will be harder to keep up our behaviour standards. But I think we have to. The fact that most people deleted is positive. Minho said we're a reflection of them so I hope shawols will keep taking that seriously.

Thanks for your Ask!

[gaykey]

hey asher, have you ever read shinee fanfics?

a long time ago, like, i'm talking 2012 era. i used to read minkey fics lmaooooooo

[fluffypotatey]

Hello there! I hope your month is kind to you. Have you watched the Netflix Monkey King yet? If so, what are your feelings about the plot and the characters? Thoughts on the changes?

I've read a role swap fic idea LMK AU where instead of Tropitaka finding SWK in the mountain, LBD was the one who did it instead. Of course, she wasn't a crazy reformist extremist yet in when thwy met. Cue LBD seeing thia trapped monkey and thinking "i can fix him" while SWK goes "i can make her worse". It kinda ended up with both of them bwcoming worse for the turn because of each other enabling the worst and Macaque, who took SWK's plac with the pilgrims instead, sealed both of them together. Cut to the present where the duo came back and became big bad against Macaque, who's taken to protecting Megapolis as its shadow. The fic idea is under my #role swap au tags becuase the other details took too long to summarize the whole thing. Point is, in an AU where SWK is working with LBD instead of Macaque, but willingly, or maybe not, what would it take for SWK to turn on LBD, whether it involves Macaque or not? How do you think SWK would deal with MK, who is under Macaque's mentorship instead, while running the Lady's orders?

hey! i’m doing well 🥰 but sorry no, i still haven’t watched Netflix’s Minkey King yet 😭 it’s on my list don’t worry!!! when i do watch it, you’ll know (because i’ll probably be spamming my blog with nothing but that lol)

as for that au 👀 it definitely looks interesting but I will say, I personally think LBD was in her villain arc already when she finds SWK but the sentiment would probably be the same lol

it does make me wonder why Macky would be chosen as Tripitaka’s companion instead of SWK in this round. did he run into the monk just before he was supposed to meet SWK? was SWK already freed by LBD and Guanyin chose Macky as the next viable option?

anyway, for your questions

1) I think this SWK probably would be willing to betray LBD very easily. remember that when Tripitaka freed SWK that first time, the monkey had sworn to be his companion but immediately when against that promise once freed because the idea of serving not just a mortal but a pacifist monk felt insulting to him. so if SWK was freed by someone else who promised him revenge on those who hurt him but then he later found out was using him to wipe out the universe? he would easily dip

man’s has his own agenda and it doesn’t involve wiping out the universe and destroying his island with his monkeys

and if it concerned Macky? he probably wouldn’t show it, but I think he’d be very against LBD harming Macky and would even side with MK for it (but who’s to say that he isn’t against using MK either 👀)

2) yeah Sun Wukong and MK’s relationship would be so different in this au (but that even begs the question on whether MK’s origins are the same or he was created for the same reason 👀)

and if Macky’s mentoring the guy, then it’s a whole mess of using MK to get to Macky. also i feel like his revenge would be slightly different because I doubt Macky would have been able to kill Wukong in the past (maybe seal him away again?), so instead his anger is more out of Macky loyalties switching and allowing him to be sealed away again. he could even believe that Macky was simply doing what he was told because he was bound to the monk for the journey, and now sees MK as fulfilling that same role. maybe idk

tbh i don’t think evil!SWK and MK would have the same kind of dynamic progression that MK and Macky have in lmk. if anything, MK would be terrified of swk and his power but also be worried about the emotional toll the monkey king places on Macky.

but yeah idk those are my thought on what I can glean on this type of au

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Hey RiaCE ! I noticed on that funny MinKey post you made that someone asked if you were making a joke or not. Then I saw your reblog. And I just feel confused and weirdly disappointed?

Shawols, generally, are older and have a good sense of humor. Do you think there's a reason people didn't get the joke? Is this a media literacy thing, or a symptom of seeing what you want to see (ship wars, something to be outraged by)?

I can't say for sure and I think there are possible answers, some which may not even cross my mind. Your options are interesting to take into consideration. It could be a media literacy thing, but I also don't exclude that what I was trying to convey did not come across as clear to everyone. My screenwriter prof in college told me once that as much as I was aware that my text was satire (I wrote a text about Bono going to some group therapy because he feels the burden of carrying too much for all the social issues he is involved with and his arms feel heavier literally and metaphorically because of all the bracelets) my writing wasn't clear enough. I thought I was a comedy genius. So who knows, maybe my attempt at humor failed, but I also know that it's impossible for everyone to laugh at all the jokes.

What I didn't expect was the violent reaction, especially since, as you said, Shawols are older and do have a sense of humor. Not that I interact with hundreds daily, but I see their posts. Perhaps some new generation of young fans are becoming more vocal, more obsessed in taking shipping seriously or hating it with a passion, instead of moderation and having fun.

[taeminuet]

Heartbeat (15/?)

Title: Heartbeat Fandom: SHINee Pairings: Jongtae; Minkey; OnKai Chapter Wordcount: 3.5k Overall Rating: R (Some chapters will be NC-17; these will be marked.) Chapter Warnings: ableism, mental illness,  Summary: In which not every problem needs to be fixed and not every person needs to be saved; sometimes you just need support.

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1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 7.5 , 8 , 9 , 10 , 11 , 12 , 13 , 14

Chapter 15: Minho

Minho’s head hurts. It’s feels like someone cracked him across the back of his head, and he feels just a little bit sick when the tries to sit up, nausea twisting in his gut. He overdid it last night, he thinks, trying to remember what all had happened. At some point, he can’t, the whole night a blur that fades to black.

He remembers snippets: it had been finals – the championship game. They’d won, and then… And then Lu Han had pulled Minseok away to celebrate (i.e. make out against the lockers,) and Minho had gone out to celebrate with his other friends. They’d been driving, and they’d had the beers on the floor of the car, even if it wasn’t safe. And Minho had bent down to get one and – and nothing. And nothing after that.

He’s not sure how he got this bad of a hangover off cheap beer, but his head is pounding, and he has to squeeze his eyes shut against the minimal light coming off of – of something…

It’s too white to be his ceiling lights, too close to fluorescent, and it burns through his closed eyelids in a way that makes him groan uncomfortably. It hurts, and Minho has to all but ball up to blink his eyes open, staring at… at strangely unfamiliar bedsheets. At an unfamiliar room. At an unfamiliar face in the mirror, too angled, hair framing it all wrong.

Minho opens his eyes, for the first time in memory and the several-hundredth time in the last few years, to an unfamiliar life. To a notebook written in a familiar hand, with unfamiliar names and faces and facts.

He falls into a routine that he’s not aware is a routine: the stages of grief all packed into such a short about of time: denial, grief, anger. He’s not sure who he would bargain with, but a part of him is willing to try that too.

But in the end, what choice does he have but to do as his notebook says. To get up. To keep living.

He’s confused, slightly, when he manages to find out the time. It’s a little after 9'oclock, but from the darkness outside his window, kept at bay by the sharp florescents in the ceiling, it’s night, not morning. And from the loose schedule in his notebook, there’s no reason he should be waking so late. Or maybe there is one? But there’s no notes, no indication of why.

Only the tentative knock on his door, the way the woman peers in – Nurse Jung, Minho’s mind recalls, in his own script – keeps Minho from continuing to think about it.

“Can I…” he pauses for just a moment, the beginning of the phrase clicking in his mind like an empty lighter, sparking against nothing. Something he read, only moments ago, but he doesn’t quite remember the context, the meaning. He shakes free of it. “Can I help you?”

She smiles, the kind of practiced but slightly frazzles smile, like she’s trying to keep from letting on how stressed out she really is. “How are you feeling?”

Minho doesn’t know how to answer that question. At all. How is he supposed to feel when he’s just had his life turned on it’s head? How often does he have this mental debate with himself?

“My head hurts,” he says finally. “Can I have some medicine? Or is that not okay for me, since…?”

She sighs a little. “We’ll see about getting you something for the pain – your doctor should have an approved list on file. Otherwise, though?”

“I don’t know. What am I supposed to be feeling? My notebook says I’ve been here for years. Why are you worrying now?” It feels harsh to say, but the way her expressions flickers tells him something, and Minho pushes. “What’s wrong?”

“You had a bit of a run in with another patient earlier in the day,” she says hesitantly. “It’s very unlike him to physically lash out at other patients, but it seems as there was some sort of incident…”

“I don’t… remember,” Minho says, and it’s so stupid because of course he doesn’t. It hurts, somehow, the pitying look in her eyes. “Did he… do you know why?”

She hesitates again. “He claims he didn’t. I suppose he doesn’t want to get in trouble, but he was found with you. Like I said, it’s very strange of Kibum to–”

She stops and clams up, but the secret is out. Kibum.

It’s… it doesn’t seem right, though he doesn’t know why. He doesn’t know anything about him, really, just what he has written: his name, his wheelchair, his basic personality, his favorite place to draw.

And, though he’s not entirely sure why, there’s little details, little things Minho’s written – the way his eyes get more catlike when he’s focusing; the way that when he laughs, it’s with his whole body and Minho should keep an eye out to make sure he doesn’t hit his own leg. It’s not a lot to know about a person.

But still, it doesn’t sit right with him, somehow. And maybe it’s a terribly idea to rely on instinct, but wha else does he have?

“Can I see him?” Minho asks, standing. He sways for a moment, head still aching a bit, but it’s starting to fade a little, and he doesn’t have any trouble walking to the door, attempting to push past Nurse Jung.

She doesn’t move. “I don’t think,” she says, “that that’s a very good idea.”

“Why not?” Minho says. “You said yourself he’s not usually violent. I want to understand what happened. I want to understand something–”

It comes out more desperate than he intended, enough to shock her into stillness, giving Minho just a moment to push past her. There’s a loose map scribbled in the front of his notebook, telling where everyone’s rooms are, and he knows that Key’s is the one just next door, so he heads to it quickly, his fingers rapping on the door before anyone can stop him.

There’s no answer, and Minho’s stomach twists, but he has to try. He urges the door open, just a little. “Kibum,” he starts, and that sounds wrong, so instead he tries, “Key, are you…?”

“Minho?” comes a voice, somehow deeper than he’d expected, a little rough like he’s been… crying. “Minho, is that…?”

Minho swallows thickly, his stomach suddenly lurching, almost twisting. “Can I come in?”

Key doesn’t answer, just for a  moment, and then, “I… yeah. Yeah, of course. I can’t–”

Key can’t come to him, and it’s not until Minho is inside that he sees why. Key is sitting in his bed, half curled into himself, and his chair is across the room, nowhere in reach. They’ve left him there, isolated him on his own as punishment, and Minho feels a flash of anger.

His fists tighten, and he looks down at the floor to try and hide the look. He doesn’t want Key to think he’s mad at him, because he’s not. He’s just confused, and now he can’t bear to see what they’ve done to Key, and just –

“I just…” he starts, and then he stalls, because as he’s looking down, something catches his eyes. There’s a photo, half sticking out from under Key’s bed, and he’d leave it, but he can see himself in it. He stoops to pick it up, and all of a sudden he doesn’t have any words at all.

In the picture, he’s smiling, almost stupidly, and no wonder, because Key is there and he’s… god. He looks so happy, and Key looks so beautiful, and Minho feels like something has stolen all of the air from his lungs.

Minho doesn’t want to look away from the photo, away from Key’s smile, but Key makes a soft noise that demands attention. “Minho, why are you here? Why–”

“I wanted to find out what happened,” Minho says honestly, and it doesn’t sound accusatory exactly, but Minho still finds himself rushing to add, “I don’t think you hurt me. I just… I just want to know. It’s hard not knowing.”

And Key’s face flickers, turns so desperate that Minho’s heart squeezes., because if Key has the ability to smile like he is in that photo, Minho wants to see it so badly.

“Minho, you have to believe me, I would never hurt you. Never. I know it seems stupid, but you just – you fell. You tripped backwards over my chair and you fell and hit your head, and they won’t believe me, but I would never…”

Minho doesn’t know what to say. What can he say here? He holds up the picture with a shaking hand, handing it to Key. His hands are shaking. “I don’t know,” he says. “I don’t remember it. I don’t remember anything. But, well, you know that already. And I…”

He takes a deep breath, staring at Key. There’s something startlingly genuine in his face, something genuinely disarming. He doesn’t know how to tell Key no, that he doesn’t believe him. But he can’t say yes either.

“I don’t know,” he says again. “I want to. I don’t know why, but I want to believe you. But I don’t know.”

He doesn’t know what makes him do it, but he does anyways, sliding down to his knees on the floor and leaning forward, resting his forehead against the edge of the mattress. He’s shaking slightly, more than just his hands now, frustrated with everything, with not knowing, with not understanding, with the exhaustion that’s weighing on him even though he only just woke, with everything.

And god, he doesn’t know if this is a good idea, but Minho doesn’t even know enough to be able to second-guess himself, and Key seems so desperate, so unlikely to get angry, that the blond lashing out at him feels almost ridiculous; Minho will take his chances.

“I want to believe you,” he whispers. “Why do I want to believe you so badly?”

It’s just a moment, and then there are hands touching him, sifting into his hair and almost petting him, like they’re trying to ease the tension out of him and reassure him all at once.  “I know. I know, Minho. It’s okay,” Key says, voice getting thicker with tears “I… I’ll prove it, okay? I’ll prove it. Just… help me down, okay? Help me.”

And it’s such a bad idea, but Key is drawing Minho’s hands to his hips, and he’s looking at Minho with such vulnerability, and so Minho obeys, following Key’s careful directions until Key is on the floor in front of him.

“Look at me. I’m… I’m completely in your hands now,”  Key says, voice trembling a little. “I know it’s not the same, but I’m trusting you, Minho. Try to trust me too. If you really can’t, I’ll understand, but you have to dig down deep in there and really feel it. Don’t listen to the notebook or anyone else, just see if you can feel something. Please.”

Minho’s heart squeezes. How? How can’t he trust the one thing he has in his own hand, the one thing that’s giving him some idea of who he is now, of what his life is now? How is he supposed to just ignore that?

But Key is  taking his hand, placing on his leg, and Minho can feel the fragility under his palm, feel how much faith Key is putting in him right now.

Minho swallows thickly and slides his hand upwards to Key’s waist again. Key lets him pull him gently, doesn’t pull away, and that level of trust is terrifying, but it’s also touching enough that Minho doesn’t question himself, doesn’t stop himself from caving to the urge to pull Key into his arms, holding him gently.

Key isn’t as small as he would have expected – his shoulders and arms are broad, matching his hands, bu still it’s not what it should be. Key’s legs are too badly damaged, what would have once been muscle and bone now damaged, quite possibly beyond repair. Minho knows that much at least – it’s written in his notebook, a perfunctory note next to a memo not to bring it up if he can help it.

But whether or not he’s his full weight, his full strength, Key is so pliant in his arms, so trusting. Minho can’t believe that someone like this could even attempt to hurt him.

But beyond that even… Key’s voice is desperate and raw, truthful in a way that can’t be faked as he pleads, “You have to believe me. I would never ever hurt you.”

Minho still doesn’t have a right answer, but he isn’t sure he needs one, not when he’s so close, not when he can feel Key like this. He tries to clear it all away – no words, no memories, no thoughts; just the shape of Key in his arms and the way his entire body is shaking, his heart racing where it was caught in his throat.

“It’s okay,” he strangles out around it, trying to will it back into it’s proper place in his chest, but it won’t listen, just stays where it is, making his throat feel tight.. “I… I believe you. I know you wouldn’t.”

Key goes almost slack in his hold. “You believe me,” he says, and when he looks at Minho, his eyes are wet and he’s smiling shakily. After just a moment, he curls back into Minho’s hold, like he doesn’t want to leave. Minho doesn’t really want to let him go.

“Tell me about that picture,” Minho asks. “Please.”

And Key does. He tells Minho about his whole morning, his whole day, telling Minho a story about himself that he doesn’t remember. And it’s a little unnerving, but Minho doesn’t doubt it’s true.

“I thought,” Key says, and then falters for the first time. “I thought you’d remembered something. Something about me. And you got upset and fell. It was just an accident. But I crawled over to you to make sure you were okay, and the nurse found me like that and assumed… But god, thank you for knowing I didn’t, Minho.“

Minho frowns. “What… what did you think I’d remembered?”

Key stiffens in his arms. “I don’t want to upset you again,” Key says. “It’s fine. It was just… I was a fluke, or… Or, I don’t…”

“Please,” Minho says. “Please, tell me.”

And Key huddles closer, like he’s afraid of Minho pulling away, but nods. “A few days ago I called you perfect. And this morning, I did it again, and you asked if I’d said that before. Like you remembered me saying it. Like…”

“I wrote that,” Minho breathes. “I think… it’s scratched out, but… you can feel it through the paper. Or… or, I don’t know. Maybe just because I wrote it, I can… but I…”

“Oh,” Key says, and he doesn’t sound disappointed. He sounds in awe, and Minho pulls back in shock to see Key’s eyes watering.

“Please don’t cry,” Minho says, panicked. “Please don’t.”

“I’m not crying,” Key says, even though he clearly is. “I just… you cared enough to write that? Even if… even if you decided better after, you cared enough to think you’d want to remember that.”

Minho bites his lip. “Why wouldn’t I?” he asks, a little bewildered. “You’re– I mean, I’m not. At all. But to have someone like you think that…”

“Someone like me,” Kibum repeats, and his voice is flattening a little bit, like he’s expecting Minho so insult him, and Minho honestly has no idea why.

“You’re… god. You’re beautiful. And you’re – that you trust me this much? That you care this much what I think? I don’t – you’re amazing,” Minho says, and he knows he sounds bewildered because he is. Why would anyone think anything less of Key after what he’s seen?

“Your way with words never ceases to impress me.” Key says, and he’s teasing, but his voice is wavery and affected and he still looks like he’s about to cry. But he smiles faintly along with his teasing, and it’s so soft and affectionate and beautiful.

And Minho’s been going with basically gut instinct since he woke up, and he’s here, so he doesn’t see why he should stop now.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks, and he feels like it sounds ridiculous, but Key’s breath hitches like Minho’s just struck him, and he looks so terrifyingly hopeful.

“Yeah,” Key says. “Yeah, please. Kiss me.”

Minho slides his hand up to cup Key’s cheek, the other staying around his waist to hold the blond steady, and kisses him.

It’s nothing special, Minho doesn’t think, just his lips pressing softly against Key’s. His lips are probably a little dry, and his hand is shaking against Key’s cheek, and he probably kisses like the inexperienced moron that he is.

But Key’s lips are soft and slightly chapped, and Minho feels his breath catch in his throat, pulling back from Key to just stare for a moment. He doesn’t know what to say, what to think, just gapes for a moment, his heart racing in his chest.

And then Key kisses him again, just as gentle as the first time, and Minho can’t think of anywhere else he’d rather be.

“Key,” he breathes, and it’s like it breaks a spell, because Key stops kissing him to smile helplessly.

“I never thought – I wanted for so long, but…” And Key’s smile falters, just like that.

Minho feels his chest tighten. “I’m… I won’t forget. Not yet. I just woke up. I have days. We can figure this out. Whatever this is. Key…”

“Yeah. Yeah,” Key says, but he looks tired suddenly, almost exhausted. “I… I want you to stay. But… I’m supposed to be in trouble for hurting you. Even though…”

“You didn’t,” Minho says, and it comes out certain and vehement. “I know.”

“Minho…” Key says, and his voice is so soft, shaking just a little.

“I… I don’t want to get you in trouble,” Minho says finally. “I’ll be here tomorrow. We can figure this out tomorrow. Key…”

“Tomorrow,” Key says, and he sounds hopeful and also like he’s frightened by that hope. “Minho… kiss me again. Before you go.”

And Minho does. He presses kisses to Key’s lips as he helps him back up, back into bed. He pulls Keys’ chair closer, just in case, and kisses him again and again. And he’s fully aware that Key isn’t sure if these kisses mean goodnight or goodbye, but…

But Minho’s not willing to hurt Key like that. Even if he’s still confused and lost, even if he doesn’t understand, he feels something for Key. He doesn’t know what yet, but it’s there, and he felt it. And he’s not going to give that up just yet.

“Tomorrow,” Minho promises.

Key’s expression is all longing, so clear that he couldn’t hide if he wanted to. “Tomorrow,” he says, and then tentatively, “Goodnight, Minho.”

Minho swallows. “Goodnight,” he whispers. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

He will be. He has to be. He won’t let himself forget. Not this.

-

Next Chapter

[bymyside-fic]

Inktober Day #27: Thunder (~460 words) read on AO3 // AFF

- October 27, 2005 -

Nighttime at Hogwarts was usually a peaceful experience. The creaks of the old castle were the loudest sounds followed by the occasional sparks from the torches lining the halls. Most everyone was tucked away in their common rooms, doing whatever they wanted while they waited for light’s out. It was usually Kibum’s favorite time of day -- he enjoyed the serenity and the chance to hang out with just Minho.

It was nice.

Tonight, however, there was a thunderstorm.

He had seen the storm clouds forming in the enchanted ceiling during dinner, and since then, he had been dreading the inevitable first thunderclap. It came once he and Minho were up in their study closet, rumbling around them. Kibum pulled his blanket a little tighter around him as he glanced at the walls, making sure that they weren’t about to crumble down around them.

That was one nice thing about living in the basement here at Hogwarts: when storms came, most of the time you wouldn’t even know. 

Kibum took a deep breath once the night grew quiet again and went back to looking over his notes from Transfiguration. Minho sat beside him, his feet peeking out of the bottom of their shared blanket. He turned the page of his Defense textbook and looked up when the thunder roared again.

“Woah!” His eyes were bright with excitement when he looked over at Kibum. “It’s so...hey, you okay?”

“Yeah...” The thunder died down again, and Kibum smoothed the roll of parchment on his lap. “Yeah, I’m fine...it’s just louder up here.”

“We can stop for the night, if you want.” Kibum shook his head and Minho went back to reading, glancing over at him again whenever the thunder sounded again. After the third time, Minho started packing up his stuff.

“What are you doing?”

“We don’t have any tests tomorrow, so we don’t really have to study.” 

“Yeah, but...” He gulped when the thunder clapped again and shivered when Minho took their blanket and started folding it up. “It’s really not a big deal, Min...” 

Minho passed him his stack of textbooks, sighing when he didn’t take it right away. “Come on, Bummie.” Kibum was about to protest, but then the thunder sounded again. He took them and Minho blew the candles out as soon as Kibum opened the door. 

It didn’t take them long to get to the basement, and Kibum let out a deep breath as soon as they stepped into the cool air of the basement. Minho patted his back, offering him a smile before he headed down the hall toward Hufflepuff. “Hey,” Minho stopped, looking over his shoulder at him. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

[hansmannette]

undefined

played for the first time and yea i have a new main

[wooahaes]

Ahh we all have that one professor who makes u go ??? The fuck ??? At least 5 times in 20 mins lol I get you

Also the nct thing was purely by accident lol aksnsksms I initially listened to boom by nct dream, thought I’d listen to a couple more songs, fell down the rabbit hole and now I actively Stan 20+ men 💀 yeah I did that to myself lol but fr nct has some weird shit but a LOT of bops like if you like slow ballad type of stuff I recommend from home and my everything but nct u or if u like smth cute Touch by NCT 127 is p well liked by most people I introduce that song to! And most of nct dreams older songs are p cute too! I feel like you’ve made a grave mistake letting me talk ab NCT because I could go on FOREVER aksnsksms also I totally get the mark + Haechan duo lol I have a particular fondness for mark because we share the same birthday lol plus he’s so cute I just wanna fucking SQUISH

I would LOVE to hear you talk about Shinee!! All of their music fuckin SLAPS I’ve been obsessed with Body Rhythm every since it came out and like I got into the fandom p late so I don’t know much but I think taemin is fucking hilarious like he is very much my pathetic lil meow meow

-Baby Teume

literally i love her but the way she runs her classes... headache inducing. im probably going to scrape past with a C unless she decides to drop our lowest grade (highly unlikely but very welcome)

... my confession is that i actually enjoy sticker lmao like ik its not great ig? but i can still vibe with it

i have made NO mistake asking u to talk abt nct!!! pls talk to me about nct whenever u feel like it lmao i love hearing abt other ppls groups and the stuff they get passionate about!! literally i love when ppl give me song recs even if i dont end up getting into them bc its a lil 'hey i thought u might enjoy this' and i think thats sweet <3

i learned that marks emojis are a tiger and a lion and im like omg... tiger... another tiger boy to add to my collection. AND lions too??? mark nct ill give u a kiss omg /j

omg... u will regret asking me abt shinee i love them SO much. im ignoring the fact taemin just showed up on my playlist (highly recommend all of the shinee members solo stuff!!! i can absolutely give recs for my fave from each member even tho minho has like two songs to him rn but theyre both good fdkhdshf)

i always say taemin is my bias (hes adorable AND funny like... king stop my expectations are too high-) but i think im truly ot5 because all of them are so important to me. they were the first kpop group i ever listened to forever ago (sherlock (clue + note) is a legend and i love her so much), and i think dropping off shortly after getting into them (which would have been around 2015 because it was the time view came out) and then picking them a little over a year ago was genuinely like... something that really helped me out of a shitty place + hurt because i had missed the news about jonghyun entirely. but even then, i think its made me appreciate him and everything he's done so, so much. i won't get sappy but i truly love jonghyun so much and i'm glad he's no longer hurting. it'll always piss me off when people reduce him down to his death and nothing else because he was such a good person.

moving on from that before i get too emotional... i genuinely just love shinee a lot. i watched one of the shinee world concerts (IV i think?) earlier this year and its amazing how talented they were and still are. shinee truly helped pave the way and inspired so many idols and i adore them. its also fun to just watch them interact, tbh. i don't genuinely ship anyone because i find that weird, but minkey as a (platonic) pair are my faves lmao they always bicker like an old married couple but you can tell that they do love each other and are genuinely close friends.

and jinki!!! onew my beloved!!! i love him so much. he has such a warm presence and GOD his vocals... i die every time... coincidentally love phobia just came up on my playlist lmao but still!! highly recommend listening to DICE if u haven't!! the entire album itself is good but the title track is soo good <3 i always feel like i forget he's the leader of shinee because they're all so close-knit, it feels like they're all on completely equal footing even if jinki is the one leading them.

i didnt rly get into my love for taemin but genuinely i adore him. he's so, so talented both vocally and dance-wise, i love to see the difference between his stage persona (typically his solo persona lmao taemin and his slutty slutty music... <3) when he's really just this very sweet catholic man who apparently only really interacts with his group mates and a few others outside of that. he's so funny and i honestly admire every live he did where he spoke english and messed up and accepted his mistakes? like. learning a language is hard enough, especially one as fucking weird as english, but he just seems to eager to try speaking english and accepts his mistakes. i think he definitely has a very good support network both in the people helping him learn english (job-wise) and in having someone like key there to correct him (and maybe rib him a little bit--but it's all out of love). also i still think its really funny he broke into keys place to leave him a birthday cake and then proceeded to steal one of his jackets. stole my heart at the same time smh

i will stop here bc i still have two questions left on my final but !!! i will absolutely give u shinee recs if you want!! shinee has SUCH a good discography with only a few songs that are... not good at all lmao. but every group puts out some bad songs sometimes, especially when they've been around for a long time! nothing wrong w that! + i'll probs throw in recs from each member's solo career because i genuinely love a lot of their solo stuff as well <3

[minhoinator]

A Definitive Ranking of the Softest Minkey Pictures That I Had On My Phone (as of Feb 13, 2021)

So we all talk about the delightful bickering nature of Minkey’s relationship, which is all well and good, but I for one am also a fan of the softer moments. Honestly, I’m probably missing some moments, but like the title says, these are just pictures I have on my phone. Also, side note, I’m indecisive as fuck and these could all be in the #1 spot at any given day depending on my mood. That, and: my ranking is my opinion, if you disagree and want to show me other, softer Minkey pictures, I’m really just winning, aren’t I? Anyways, let’s just get into it...

Coming in at #10 is: 

Like wow....okay....we get it Kibum you love your best friend....

Please, I just...everything about this is perfection. The height difference, their smiles, Kibum’s (relatable) hyperfocus on Minho...all of it, we just love to see it.

#9:

not to be who I am as a person but I love watching something with them together as a group and then you see Minho and Kibum over on the side having their own private conversation, which they occasionally get called out for lmao Like yes, please, flaunt your friendship...I’m very here for that as a concept.

#8:

it’s physically impossible to look at this picture and not get soft. they are BEAMING I just can’t deal with how precious they are

#7:

this one....shot through the heart every time istg...like they were messing around during the entire program and then Minho randomly wanted a hug? and Kibum obliged?? top tier. unmatched. legendary.

#6:

now we’ve got some fetus!Minkey and a Minkey Shoulder Phenomenon (MSP)......anytime Kibum does this it’s like it’s the first time all over again i just can’t deal with it it’s too sweet.

#5: 

this one would probably be the #1 if it were a candid picture, but since it’s a photo shoot, that deducts a few points lol but! It’s still cavity-inducing sweet and I love that for all of us but especially them

#4:

in an absolutely shocking move, I’m putting this one in fourth place. it IS one of the sweetest Minkey pictures of all time (honestly, they just have the best hugs)...like...Kibum’s contented smile :( how tightly they’re holding each other...I’m absolutely NOT being bowled over by how much they love each other I’m well-adjusted and normal. for sure.

#3:

hey, Minho, quick question...is there any other way you could have passed Kibum the mic? just wondering. no judgement from me, obviously. 

#2: 

you’re probably like “wow, how many times can you have the same two men hugging on this list of soft pictures” and to that I say THEY WERE SEPARARTED FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS AND THIS IS HOW THEY GREETED EACH OTHER (after a bit of playful bickering which I just adore)...like pls just look at how happy Kibum is :((((

....and.....

at #1......

I cannot even begin to describe how soft this picture makes me....their smiles?? please, spare me it’s too much...it’s just too much. The affection they have for each other is just astronomical and any time it’s displayed like this it just annihilates me in the best way...

Like I said, this ranking is as of the day i’m posting this, but I welcome and encourange Minho and Kibum to disrupt my rankings as much as they want

[gaykey]

"the man made it his mission to befriend every celebrity born that year" Absolutely, but it will never stop being funny to me that Minho is at most 91-line adjacent, not actually IN it.

do you mean, to the actual 91-line group, because yeah lmaoooo

kibum would only let him join sometimes

i think of all the 91 line group photos there are, these are two of the few, or if not only, ones with minho in 😂

kibum feeling generous on those days 😚

[alwayshinee]

hey do any of you guys have the photo of shinee around debut where (i think) minkey and ontae and jjong made hearts with their hands i cannot stop thinking about it. 

[minhoandthebabes]

Hey so I made a minkey crack fic

[taeminuet]

Heartbeat (21/?)

Title: Heartbeat Fandom: SHINee Pairings: Jongtae; Minkey; OnKai Chapter Wordcount: 3k Overall Rating: R (Some chapters will be NC-17; these will be marked.) Chapter Warnings: mental illness, mentions of past abuse, misuse of therapy methods, triggering, Summary: In which not every problem needs to be fixed and not every person needs to be saved; sometimes you just need support.

-

1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 7.5 , 8 , 9 , 10 , 11 , 12 , 13 , 14 , 15 , 16 , 17 , 18 , 19 , 20

Chapter 21: Jinki

It wasn’t his intention to frighten Taemin, but Jinki can’t find it in himself to feel too terrible about it. Later, of course he’ll apologize to Taemin, make sure he hasn’t upset him too badly, but for now, Jinki’s priorities are with Onew.

This whole situation was bad, and Jinki knows, in some logical place that is buried just as deep as Onew is right now, that this was all just a bad situation. The doctor was poking, prodding, trying to figure out what buttons Onew was sensitive towards, because in their heads, if they can teach Onew to work past those obvious triggers, then Onew will transition less often.

He also knows that that’s what Onew wants. It’s no secret. And if Jinki could give Onew that he would, because he would give Onew damn near anything. But the truth is he can’t, because someone needs to protect Onew when he gets like this, and nobody can but him. It’s what he’s there for, what he was made for.

And he will protect Onew, Taemin’s feelings be damned. Right now, he needs this doctor, needs everyone to back the fuck off.

And yeah, he made a scene, yeah he ended group too early for all of them. He’ll feel bad about that later too, because whether it’s productive or not, he knows the routine is good for all of them -- for Minho who needs a routine to function because otherwise his schedules are meaningless, or for Jonghyun who, whether he believes it or not, needs a form of stability to lean on in lieu of what he thinks he’s missing. But right now, Jinki doesn’t care, because at least Onew is safe, even if he can practically feel his consciousness, a quiet, frightened ball of thereness somewhere in the back of Jinki’s head.

Jinki exhales, looking around the room, stiffening his shoulders and looking at Minho who looks positively alarmed and Key who looks exasperated but at least understanding. To the doctor who’s looking at him as if he wants to keep speaking, to parse Jinki apart, but is at least too cowed to do so. Jinki’s jaw clenches.

“Did you want to keep going? Or should I take my cues from Jonghyun and Taemin, then?”

It’s all rhetorical, all just a signal that he’s going to leave, because the doctor doesn’t even speak before Jinki rolls his eyes, turning on his heel and pushing out into the hallway. Behind him, he hears the doctor’s voice calling his name, but he doesn’t care, doesn’t give a fuck what anyone has to say right now. He’s all anger, all energy, and a part of him just wants to punch something until his knuckles bleed, but then Onew would wake up hurt, and that’s not acceptable.

He doesn’t know where Taemin and Jonghyun went, but he doesn’t bother trying to find them. Jonghyun is a good way to work out excess energy, sometimes, but with him and Taemin’s new thing, Jinki won’t step in and mess anything up.

But that leaves him at a loss, pacing the common room with the air of a caged tiger -- back and forth, back and forth, growling under his breath.

He’s furious, and pissed, and he’s got hours yet until he’ll be able to feel Onew even begin to peek out after this shit show. Someone in a goddamn position of power making Onew feel like he wasn’t good enough -- the doctor had found Onew’s trigger alright.

He’ll have to wait until tonight anyways, if then. Onew coming back in the middle of the day is a misery for both of them, and Jinki prefers to let sleep ease the transition, even though he’s not sure there’s any real way to ease waking up and missing chunks of your life. He wishes Onew could see a little, the way he can, but it would probably be worse in a way. It’s probably a blessing that Onew’s brain has blocked that particular trauma; he doesn’t think Onew would do well with coming back to any kind of memory of the threats Jinki is willing to both make and implement for Onew’s sake.

But Jinki would. That’s the thing. He would do anything for Onew, protect him from anyone in the world, and that means that he’s okay with this, with being this, with acting like this. Even if it makes him so on edge that when someone touches him, a hand on his shoulder and a name that isn’t his on their lips, Jinki goes taught, whirling in place.

“Onew, have you seen Tae? He--”

Jinki shoved back, pushing him away, and following after. He was smaller, sure, but he had the element of surprise, and everything in him was anger, boiling over at the sight of the boy he’d seen through Onew’s eyes that he only associated with crushed hope -- Jongin.

The thin plaster of the wall shooks a little as Jinki slammed him into it, everything in him screaming at him to hurt, to get rid of the thing that has caused Onew distress. If not for him, Onew wouldn’t have been so fragile this morning, so eager to help, eager to please, and vulnerable to those things being turned against him. It’s partially his fault that Jinki is even here and he feels anger boiling over as he shoves harder, not caring if he hurts him, not caring about the garbled noise of pain that it earns him.

“You,” he spits, the words harsh and ground out through clenched teeth, “must be Taemin’s friend. I’d love to say I can see why Onew wanted your attention, but the truth is, I really don’t.”

Jongin’s eyes are wide, a little panicked, and Jinki can practically see in his face how fast his heart must be rabbitting in his chest. Jinki prepares himself for a fight or for the inevitable call for help. But it doesn’t come.

Jongin’s eyes drop and he goes limp like a metaphorical animal baring it’s throat. Giving in. Giving up. “You must be Jinki then. Jonghyun mentioned you.”

Jinki feels a flood of confusion, and some of the anger is slipping away, because if Jongin is giving in, he’s not going to hurt Onew, right? But… but no, fuck. They’re not goddamn animals, and this kid has to at least be intelligent enough to know how to fake it. Jinki growls, grabbing Jongin by the shirt. “Go away.”

“I can’t very well when you’ve got ahold of me like this,” Jongin says, and the lightness in his voice is infuriating. “And besides, why would I want to leave? You just told me Onew wants my attention, and I have to say, I’m flattered.”

Jinki snarls, a vicious sound that edges on inhuman. “You are not going to give it to him.” You are never going to approach him again. You are going to attend to Taemin like you came here for, and you are going to leave Onew alone before you hurt him and I have to come rip you to shreds for hurting what’s mine.”

Jongin’s eyes come up. He’s not laughing anymore, and when he speaks his voice is somber and intent. “I don’t think that’s how this is going to work at all, actually. I came here to apologize to Onew because I didn’t mean to upset him, and now you’re biting my head off when I’m trying to do the right thing? I’m not stupid. I know what you are and why you’re here, but it’s not going to work. He’s not yours, you know. If anything, you’re his. And you’re hurting him like this.”

Jinki isn’t sure if what’s burning his his chest is hatred or anger or pain or a mix of all three. It feels like acid, like something sizzling away at his insides, and he lets out a sound like a cornered animal. It doesn’t make sense. He’s the one holding Jongin. He shouldn’t be afraid. He isn’t afraid. But his grip on Jongin is loosening, and the words that tear out of his are pathetic, barely a response, much less a retort. “Shut the fuck up. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t know us. You don’t know him and you certainly don’t know me.”

“No, but I’d like to, for him at least,” Jongin says. “So I’m going to keep coming back as long as he says it’s okay. Because you know what, if this is how you act any time anyone so much as scuffs Onew’s feelings, it’s a wonder he has anyone left at all.”

“He has me,” Jinki spits, all vitriol.

“He needs someone besides you around,” Jongin says. “And you can’t change that. Do you really want Onew to be all alone?”

“He’s not alone,” Jinki hisses. It’s a lie. He knows it’s a lie, that he’ll never exist in the same room as Onew, never be able to give him what he needs. He’ll never be able to hold him and tell him how perfect he really, really is, how he’s smart and sweet and kind and not a failure, not useless. Jinki can’t do any of that, but at least Onew is safe. Jinki might not be enough, but he’s all Onew has.

Jongin is looking at him, just looking, something scornful and disbelieving in his face, and Jinki feels a flash of rage. His arm comes up, his fingers curled into a fist, utterly prepared to lash out, to hurt Jongin. But he can’t. He can’t, and he doesn’t know why except that this isn’t just his hand, isn’t just his choice, and something intangible, some flicker of something is stopping him.

Jinki snarls, angry with himself now as much as Jongin. He steps away, raised arm falling, but that doesn’t stop him from using the arm around holding Jongin to shove him back a little harder against the wall, a vicious spike of pleasure running through him when he hears something crackle warningly, whether it’s Jongin’s body or the plaster, he doesn’t know or particularly care. As long as he’s putting space between himself and the threat, between Onew and the threat, ensuring that Jongin can’t follow.

“You don’t know anything. He made me to protect him, and I’m going to do that. Someone has to keep him safe, and that’s definitely not going to be you. Everyone else hurts him. You were here for thirty fucking minutes and you hurt him, and now I’m here because he can’t handle that.

“All you fuckers who keep trying to ‘help’ him aren’t doing shit, and you can’t ‘fix’ him, so give the fuck up and go away. We don’t need you here. Onew might want you around, but Onew wants a lot of things that only end up hurting him, and you’re not going to be another in a long line of them. This won’t happen again, I won’t let it.”

“Jinki…” Jongin says, and there’s a frown on his face now, something lost and sad, and Jinki feels anger well up in his throat because they don’t need this kind of pity. Jinki knows what he’s doing. He does. “Why do you assume I’m going to hurt him? I know I fucked up, but I’m just human, and I can try and apologize. I can try and make it better. That’s why I’m here, so why--”

“Shut the fuck up,” Jinki snaps, glaring. “You think you’re the first person that Onew’s thought was nice and sweet and wonderful? You think you’re the first person he’s latched onto. You’re not special. You’ve known him for thirty minutes. Maybe he thinks highly of you, but you’re deluding yourself.”

“Nice to know he thinks I’m wonderful. Tell him I think the same of him,” Jongin says, and it’s so fucking cavalier, so casual with Onew’s feelings, and Jinki hates this. Hates Jongin.

“Fuck off,” Jinki bites out again. “You’re not some knight in goddamn shining armor. You can’t fix him. You can’t rescue him from some goddamn tower and make everything okay.”

“Listen,” Jongin says, and his voice is serious again, that sudden flip that makes Jinki’s stomach twist. “If Onew wants a knight, I’ll try and bring a fuckin’ horse into this place if I have to. Because you know what, Jinki, I’m not trying to fix him. Maybe he’s not perfect, but that doesn’t mean he needs fixing. I think Onew’s just fine and it’s you that’s hurting him, because it’s pretty clear to me now that you don’t give a shit what he actually wants. You’re smothering him.

“And if it’s what he wants, then honestly fuck you. I’m going to come back every day if I have to until I get through to him that I’m not going to hurt him. He’s Tae’s friend, and I want to see him safe and happy, because getting through to my asshole best friend is hard, but Onew seems like a good friend to have.

And even if it wasn’t for Tae, I think Onew deserves a chance to not feel like you’re going to come out and ruin something for once. So either you stick aroudn forever and smother Onew to death, or you let me talk to him. And I’ll be damned if I’m not going to try and be whatever knight he’s looking for, even if it kills me in the process.”

Jinki drops Jongin. He doesn’t even know where to fucking start on that, but he’s reeling and furious, and if he doesn’t let go of Jongin now, nothing’s going to stop him from punching him, so something in his just�� makes himself let go before he can. And Jinki’s furious about that too, in a different way, frustrated and angry and he doesn’t get why.

Jongin is smirking now, shaking his head a little, and he peels off the wall with a tiny wince that makes Jinki vindictively pleased. It doesn’t last. “I have to go find Tae now, since you’re no help,” he says, pushing around Jinki. “But tell Onew he looks really cute in that sweater you’re wearing. Later.”

Jinki lets out a hiss, nearly animalistic in its fury, hands bunching at his sides. Every fiber of what makes him him wants to destroy Jongin, to get rid of this threat before it becomes an issue. But every fiber of him is just a portion of what makes up his and Onew's shared being, and where he wants to hurt Jongin, that same small unconscious part of himself that kept him from decking Jongin in the face  is keeping him from moving now. He’s frozen to the spot, unable to go against Onew's subconscious wishes, and Jinki is furious.

Normally this problem wasn’t an issue. Normally what Onew felt, deep down, Jinki acted on:

Minho upsets Onew each time he forgets him, so Jinki tries to keep Minho at least partially at bay.

Jonghyun is a spark of life that doesn't happen often around here, one that Onew enjoyed even as he took pity on him, so Jinki keeps Jonghyun at their side, serving the double purpose of making Onew's life interesting and honestly just getting out the sexual frustration that Onew’s never had to deal with.

Key is often abrupt and snappish, enough to make Onew scared, so Jinki is accepting, but wary around the blond.

Taemin is precious and fun and obviously harbored a desire to keep Onew at least moderately secure, so Jinki has no issue with keeping Taemin close. Or hadn’t, until now, when Taemin’s best friend is such an obvious threat.

Normally it’s an easy realm of give and take, and Jinki has never clashed so desperately with Onew before, not to this extent. And it hurts. Jinki knows he isn't useful to Onew in the ways he wants to be. This was all he has – keeping Onew safe – and Onew isn't letting him.

Jinki trembles, all anger and hatred and pain. “Fuck you,” he bites out at Jongin's retreating back, an admittedly weak response, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t give a shit what Jongin thinks, but he’s going to stay away from Onew if Jinki has to keep Onew sleeping until Jongin gives up. And just that thought is sickening, but Jinki is fuming.

Angrily, he storms away towards their room to hide in the dark. At least there, he can be sure that no one can hurt Onew.

--

Hey guys~ I know I’m a week late, but I wanted to space some stuff out~ I’ll be out of town on New Years weekend and I’m,,, honestly just not up to putting something up on Christmas Eve? So instead of posting last week and making you guys wait a week, I moved a week and am doing two 3 week blocks. Which means that this will be back the first Sunday in 2018. Wow. It’s been a wild year, you guys.

I look forward to seeing you guys in the coming year~!

Next Chapter: 1/7/2018