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#and i am just really sad today
pardonmydelays · 1 year
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at this point i don't even care about speak now tv that much, i just want to know if taylor is coming to my shitty country
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xoxoemynn · 3 months
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❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
Hello OFMD crew, I know this isn't how we wanted to be spending our Pride month but I'm so happy to be spending it with you.
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
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naamahdarling · 4 days
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#fucks me up that there are two whole new animals in the house that i barely know#who depend on me for everything#barely recognize me as a friend or helper#and are so incredibly incredibly fragile#i got worried for junie today because her spay incision had some swelling#and it's normal to have some and i have seen it before#but after what we just wemt through i got upset and rushed her to the vet#who said it was fine and thankfully we have free office visits#but i was so upset even though i knew it was probably normal#i look at them and i see adorable cuddly sweet TEMPORARY things and i feel like something inside me got broken somehow#and i was right all along that after it was all over i would come back but not quite as myself#i just hadn't fully understood the extent#we are keeping them and it sort of had to happen when it did but i think it was too early for me#they are so cute and when they do cuddle it's so sweet and obviously i would fight for them as hard as i would for Fancy#because that's just how the deal works and it isn't about you at all it's about how they each carry a little world inside them just as we d#and that deserves equal respect and care regardless of my personal affections#but i look at them and i see little creatures that don't belong here and are foreign in some fundamental way#and that they will be gone in just a little while and things will go back to how they were#which is impossible#we will settle in and i doubt anything i am feeling is abnormal but I'm really struggling and i feel so bad about that#i don't know#it's just a lot to deal with#and i feel very lonely and sad about it#and under it all the sick feeling of having JUST held all three lads as they passed and the VISCERAL reality of it#and knowing one day if everything goes just right i will be holding them too#dear god life is so fragile and every living thing is just as mortal as any other
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crybaby-bkg · 1 year
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Bakugou has always taken care of you, even before you started dating him. when you were mere friends and still learning each other, he remembered all the small things about you. he always seemed to pack the medicine you preferred when you weren’t feeling good. always had a plethora of your fav snacks on his person somehow, like he was just waiting for you to mention wanting it.
he acts put off by it every time, with his scoffing and eye rolling and huffing. but you see the way his eyes narrow when someone beats him to the punch, when you reject his offer of medicine or food. early on you notice, that he just likes to care for you, look after you, be there when you don’t even realize you need someone.
he’s there when you get high for the first time—all worrywart and frustrated sighs when you keep slurring after an hour. he’s there for you, to help lay you down somewhere safe and ward off those with bad intentions. he’s there when you get broken up with—ready to email that fuckers job and let them know how they fucked you over. but he still holds you tenderly with every sob your shaking body heaves. he’s there when you get drunk—handing you waters and letting you pull him in to dance and sing off key.
and when you finally get together, it’s like you don’t even have to learn anything about the other. its likes you’ve been together for a hundred lifetimes, like your quirks have been ingrained into his everyday routine, like you’re the freckle on the lower left corner of his right hand. he falls into you, and you into him, easier than breathing. he just has a knack for caring—and learning and loving—about those he loves.
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HELLO I AM FEELING A LITTLE SAD but i thought about laughingstock, and it’s making it better, which is partially thanks to you! So big thanks!!!
yay! yippee!! yahoo!!! happy to contribute even if it's in a small way <3! here's more of the Gay Sillies! out of context style!
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b4kuch1n · 1 year
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hahaha wheee haha
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pessimisticprincess · 2 years
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not to be absolutely pathetic but i wish i could curl up in someone’s lap and cry my eyes out for awhile and not feel ashamed of all the things i feel
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edwinspaynes · 2 months
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zuzu-draws · 4 months
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I read i think one of the most emotionally devastating fics of my life last night, and I'm still thinking about it...Seriously...what was the Author on..? Yeah i'm talking about YELLOW for Aokise and i honestly can't remember the last time a fanfiction has left me THIS emotionally devastated.. :'D
I've realized that theres ALOT lf hidden gems in the community, especially for Aokise but simply because the fandom was active a long time ago, it'll be hard for me to find them. But from a little bit of my investigation, KnB was really huge on Tumblr back in the day. So if some Aokise fan's still around, could i get some fic recs for them? As you can tell, i really like angst.. :')
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thebirdandhersong · 1 year
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I think the problem. the problem is that I have always been afraid of not being invited into the inner circle. and am always wanting to be part of the inner circle. inner circle being the circle of love and companionship and communion. of course being a TCK and a bit of a sheltered homeschooled oddball child has nudged this further along over the years. but I didn't realise how STRONG that desire still burned. to actually be wanted.
#in other words today has been an oddly sad day! discovering that the friends you've made have their own group chats#that are separate from the general group chat (that no one ever talks on) that you aren't a part of is......... i don't know#i KNOW i'm liked by them and i KNOW they love me but do they WANT me around?#like. i know i'm not UNpleasant to have around. i am a good listener and a good conversationalist.#i work very hard at it because it doesn't come naturally to me.#but clearly that's not enough to be added to exclusive group chats! clearly that's not enough to be part of inner core circles#i don't know this just came out of nowhere and i feel as if i've been slapped in the face#sitting at a table where people are talking about the thing someone sent to the group chat#or the photo or quote or reel someone sent to someone else is....... bizarre.#i am trying not to be so hurt by it! i am trying not to take it so personally#it happens. i know it happens. i know it will keep happening. it is just that i thought this was a place where i wouldn't be lonely#and this is the dorm community i've invested so much of my time and energy and love into since last year.#so i think i'm justified in being a little upset!#i'm not crying about it but that's because i'm not about to cry with other people sitting here in the study lounge!#the math is probably really wrong here but i thought that if i poured love in for the sake of pouring love in#somehow somewhere along the line i would also receive love. that i would actually be a part of this community.#anyway that's not going to change how i live here! i committed myself to doing my best this last year#because i don't want anyone to feel left out or unwanted or lonely. i already made the decision#to do everything i can to love the people here.#i'm not trying to toot my horn this is just what i actually want to and have decided to do!#i have birthday cards planned! i have midterm snacks planned!#i've just worked out how i can print christmas and easter cards and stickers!#i'm GOING to love darn it all i'm GOING to pour love in#i think it hurts especially because there's the boy problem going on too#of not being wanted in an area that i DIDN'T expect to be wanted in#and then learning that there is a collective not being wanted in this whole community#it is a Lot and it is very hard and i don't know what to do with it!#i have had this lie (that i'm inherently unloveable and undesirable) in my head since childhood#and i've worked SO HARD to shut that voice up. and it is so so hard to not believe it right now
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mochiwrites · 7 months
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nguyenfinity · 1 year
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Every time I draw Mamagi it does AoE damage (I am also in the area of effect)
Lighthearted bonus:
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#enstars#hiiro amagi#rinne amagi#i don't know if this is a bad time to be amagi-posting given that hiiro's fs2 just dropped but. oh well#also this might be the last thing i draw for a bit because i am in the final stretch of this semester#if you sent in a request. i will get to it and thank you for your patience#anyways i know i'm kinda being like 'haha rinne mama's boy' which like. yeah but also sometimes--#--sometimes you're an adult in their 20s and like. yeah sure you're technically an adult or whatever but you still feel like a kid yeah?#and sometimes you just maybe want your mom to help you when you're lost or confused or when you need someone to tell you it'll be okay#but you won't get that for whatever reason#sincerely: an adult in their 20s#....can you tell why rinne is like. a vibe to me now#anyways i'm not saying mamagi dying was a necessary evil but if hiiro and rinne had an adult who actually loved them at home they probably-#-wouldn't have left and we wouldn't have the main story#if she was alive today tho she'd be going to their lives sorry i don't make the rules (yes i do)#if she ends up being exactly like the rest of their village in some future lore i'm gonna be so sad.#she'd throw hands with niki's parents#imagine leaving your sons behind because you straight up died (couldn't really do anything about that)#meanwhile your son's boyfriend's parents just. up and left him because they could#also posts with her will be tagged mamagi#if you read all that <3#mamagi#she'd adopt all the bees and alkaloid too#imagine if they got their singing skills from her#also mamagi 1 rinniki shipper (also does not care it's not legal)#rinniki
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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ox1-lovesick · 7 months
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hi
#life update nobody asked for lol#I missed you guys my pookie wookie dookies#I deleted all my social media and life is so great wow#still a lot of mental health problems but I'm finally learning to deal with my emotions and not hate life (wow)#is it bad for me to say I'm so glad I left blr#I will probably never come back here lol but I think (?) today is txt's debut anniversary and since I am the self proclaimed empress of moa#downgrading to a flip phone actually#I unstanned txt and all the kpop peoples too (SHOCKER)#I do feel really nostalgic and sad when I think about them but I think it was the thing I needed most#delulu is infact not the solulu#daydreaming about beomgyu being the new student at my school and being soobin's bestie was never the greatest idea hey#it's so freeing to not care about them and focus on what's infront of me#if you need a sign to start growing out of kpop and start worrying about your own life here it is babe 😭 don't let anybody give you shit#Not to say kpop is bad or anything I just think for me it was getting a bit out of hand#As much as we all make fun of the delulus it's so easy to fall down that spiral when these idols constantly tell you they love you#The parasocial relationship was REAL istg these people felt like my friends#Hueningkai does not give a FUCK about me and he is so real for that#Thinking about deleting this blog but I'm logging off after this so I very well may forget it exists again#But I just wanted to share what's been going on#And I miss you guys a lot#I may have outgrown kpop and tumblr but you all still have a special place in my heart#I miss the good old days 😭 when discord let's me back in I might visit wme#Not much has changed with me but mentally I feel like a whole new person#But I hope you all are doing GREAT#Living your best lives and doing things that make you happy#You owe it to yourself more than you owe these celebrities anything#xoxo savie 😝🤟🤟🔥🔥🔥
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misslisamiray · 7 days
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Do you ever get really in your feelings over your own writing or art?
Now that I think about it, I suppose most, or at least a lot of us, have probably done that over big, dramatic moments. Stuff like character deaths (or reveals that a character assumed dead isn't), Important Confessions, reunions of characters who thought they'd never see each other again, etc. I know I have.
But... what I am currently absolutely melting over does not fall into any of those categories AT ALL. If you've been reading Down With the Rickness:
1. First of all, I love you. All the likes/kudos and comments this story keeps getting give me life.
2. Spoilers for an upcoming chapter of my own damn fic below the cut, I guess. 😅 Where I am in the original handwritten version is slightly ahead of what's typed and posted, so this is stuff that will be in the chapter that goes up next week.
There's this part where they've both fallen asleep, & Rick wakes up first - and discovers Morty's research doomscrolling. Remember earlier in the fic, where Morty kept looking up ideas on how to help Rick with his cold? It was all pretty harmless stuff at first - the worst of it being people arguing on some message board over whether Vitamin C does any good for colds (and being assholes to each other about it. 😄)
But of course, he eventually ended up on some WebMd "everything-is-a-sign-of-impending-death" type sites, and yeah... Poor kid fell asleep with like 20 tabs open, and they're ALL stuff like "Much Worse Diseases That are Often Mistaken for the Common Cold, and How to Tell the Difference Before It's Too Late."
So Rick's trying to figure out what to do about this: Wake Morty up & try to reassure him that he's going to be fine? Wake him up to start a fight about it? Sure, he's touched by Morty's worrying (which he'll never admit), but still insulted by his grandson apparently thinking he's that weak. Or just let him sleep & put off dealing with this?
While Rick’s having this internal debate, he notices Morty shivering - it's no surprise to anyone he ends up getting sick too, right? - which leads to him trying to judge if Morty has a fever by feeling his forehead with one hand and his own with the other to compare. 🥺
Let me tell you, I was a MESS writing this scene a few days ago. The care & concern that wouldn't be shown so easily if Morty were awake, Rick's frustration that his implants aren't working & all he can do is this (and he can't even tell anything)...
This part made me feel sooooo warm and fuzzy, and just... the feels are overwhelming. The fic's almost over, there's a lot of fluff like this ahead, and just... like I said, I am melting.
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When I think about it, I think one of my favorite things about the Curse of DarKastle lore is how it presents an almost comical inversion of the classic Beauty and the Beast story. Instead of being rude to and angering a witch who curses him to be trapped in a beastly form until true love can break his curse, Prince Ludwig gets startled by a witch and howls, to which she responds by bestowing werewolf powers upon him--I don't think the ride specifies, but it seems like he can turn at will? Or it may have been more emotionally linked. But in any case, it's not presented as a curse (in spite of the ride's name -- I think that comes later when everyone gets trapped as ghosts, at least in my interpretation) but rather as a gift in service of his "dark destiny". She prophetically tells him that he's going to become the "wicked ruler of a corrupt kingdom" and then turns into a wolf herself and actively guides him in overthrowing his parents and ruling the kingdom with an iron fist. It's like the same setup as the witch in Beauty and the Beast, only instead of trying to teach him a moral lesson, the witch in Curse of DarKastle looked at this awful little prince and went "I can make him worse" and then enabled and encouraged his many subsequent murders. It's such a wild story setup for a ride and I kind of love how bonkers it is.
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