#and i ate a big late lunch so i missed dinner too <33

[scattered-winter]

thank GOD the week is finally over i did sooo badly taking care of myself this week

[pi-cat000]

MSA time travel idea (part 39)

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Vivi POV, 8, 9, 10, Lewis POV, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, Lance POV 18, 19, Lewis POV 2, 21 , 22, Vivi POV 2, 24, 25  Lewis POV 3,  Mystery POV , Vivi POV 3, 29, Lewis POV 4, 31, ViVi POV 4 , 33, 34, Lewis POV 5, Mystery POV 2, Lewis POV 6, Vivi POV 5

Part 40: here

...

LEWIS POV

Lewis comes to welcome the dark interludes which provide a brief reprieve from the parade of fake-Arthur-memories. The cold, empty silence is preferable to the increasingly dour scenes depicting the day-to-day struggles of fake-Arthur and fake-Vivi as they fail at dealing with fake-Lewis’s death. Not that either of them know about his death. Arthur doesn’t remember the cliff or the body snatcher, thinking fake-Lewis is alive and lost somewhere. Vivi doesn’t remember him at all. He’s been erased completely from her mind, leaving her confused and Arthur distraught.  Lewis has no idea how long he’s spent watching them struggle. The scenes come and go at varying lengths and changing levels of detail.  He must have lived through several weeks’ worth of fake-memories now. Months of Arthur’s life flit by, broken up into chunks. 

...

A conversation with Vivi, trying and failing to convince her that the other-Lewis had existed at all.

“Lewis…you know, Lewis. Please remember.”

“I’m sorry, I blanked out for a second there…what were you saying?” 

“Nothing. It’s nothing…”

“Oh shit…I was...how long was I out for this time?”

“An hour...You were gone for an hour.”

 “I’m sorry Arthur.” 

“Don’t worry about it. Was my fault…Mentioned something I shouldn’t have.”

Fights with Lance when the older man attempts to intervene and stop Arthur’s increasingly destructive behaviour.   

“This behaviour isn’t healthy.”

“What am I supposed to do!”

“Maybe, stop and actually think about this…” 

“Lewis is out there somewhere, and you want me to just give up!”

Hours spend online and in police stations trying to convince people to look for the other-Lewis. 

“Kid. You’re friend is listed as missing. We have alerts out in the neighbouring states and so far there’s been no word. Search parties, caving experts, were combing those old mine shafts for six days after you came in. There was nothing there.”

“Something happened there...something bad...if you would just...”

“The cave is just a regular cave. Those old mines are old mines. Nothing weird or spooky about them, just very easy to get lost in. There’s nothing more to be done so go home, eat a hot meal, get some sleep. If your friend shows up you’ll be one of the first to know. ” 

...

 It’s like watching a highlight real, only nothing about these memories is a highlight. He’s almost sure the fake-memories are selected and purposefully skewed towards negative experiences. Surely, even if this were real-it’s not real, it can’t be real-Arthur’s life wouldn’t be this bad without Lewis there.  

When the darkness falls away, transitioning into another memory, Lewis wants to yell out in frustration.

…

…

…

Lewis’s eyes open of their own accord and he’s looking out at the world, experiencing life from his friend’s perspective.

…

…

This memory starts with Arthur staring as a door handle, hesitating to pull it open. Lewis recognises it of course, he’s seen this door serval times, scattered in amongst the most recent lot of fake-memories. It’s the door to Vivi and Arthur’s apartment in Milton, faded green in colour and rusted around the hinges.

Arthur lets out a long breath which tranistions into a yawn, fiddling around with a set of keys with his one, good arm. Lewis tries not to worry when his friend drops the keys to the ground, hand slightly shakier than usual. Arthur probably hasn’t been sleeping properly. Not-sleeping is a running theme for this fake-memory-Arthur.

When the door does finally swing open, it is to reveal an irate Vivi. She is blocking the flat’s narrow entryway, her hands on her hips, expression creased into a scowl.

“In what universe does ‘I’ll be back early’ mean 11:30 pm?”

Arthur winces. Lewis can’t see his expression but his friend is probably grimacing. Most memories that feature both Vivi and Arthur involved an argument of some sort. Another form of torture for him no doubt. Seeing them struggle to come to terms with his disappearance was always a painful viewing experience. Lewis braces himself for some sort of emotionally charged argument, wishing he had the power to intervein. These fake-memories are some of the hardest to sit through.

“A lot of the guys in the lab work late hours.”

Vivi looks unimpressed, “And I suppose they’re all recovering from a recent amputation as well are they?”

“It’s been four months …It’s healed plenty.”

Lewis feels the echo sensation of pain as Arthur drops his bag to the floor, freeing up his remaining arm. Arthur lying to Vivi about his wellbeing is another common theme in these fake-memories. Vivi knows it too, Lewis can already see the tension in her shoulders.

“I’m fine,” Arthur tries to reassure, skirting around Vivi, avoiding eye contact. “The prototype for the new arm is almost done, we’re just waiting on the guys in programming to double-check some of the coding….”

“This new arm isn’t going to be worth much if you’re too exhausted to do anything with it.” Vivi interrupts angrily, following Arthur as he slinks past the small kitchen towards bedrooms at the back of the apartment.  

Lewis feels her grabs the back of Arthur’s shirts, pulling the other up short.

“I said I’m fin….wait.”

 Vivi drags Arthur to the narrow kitchen bench just big enough to fit two bar-chairs, ignoring his objections.

“Sit.” She orders, stopping over to the frig, pulling out a bowl and thrusting it into the microwave. The hum of the microwave makes the following quiet twice as uncomfortable. Even Lewis feels it.

Arthur clears his throat to speak and is cut off when the microwave lets off a loud ping.

Vivi all but slams the streaming bowl down in front of Arthur.

“You really don’t have to…” Arthur tries.

“Oh yeah? What did you eat for dinner?”

Silence.

“Lunch?”

“…”

“Because I only know you ate breakfast because I was there for it.”

More silence hangs between them.  

“Eat.” She instructs and glares until Arthur picks up the spoon. Lewis can feel Arthur shift in awkward discomfort as he starts eating. After living through so many of these fake-memories, Lewis is becoming an Arthur body language expert. 

“How was work?” Arthur breaks the silence, glancing at Vivi. She is sitting with her arms crossed, still upset, still annoyed. Lewis can read the worry fuelling her frustration clear as day. 

Her expression clears as she deliberately puts the issue of Arthur arriving late to one side, “Work was good. Duet is a real character but they’re nice and super knowledgeable when it comes to the occult and other supernatural stuff. They’re helping me research memory-related curses and whatnot. The first person, apart from you, who doesn’t think I’m crazy. So that’s a plus.”

“When my arm is fixed, we can hit the road and follow up on any leads you hear,” Arthur murmurs between mouthfuls and Lewis wishes he could face-palm because that is the exact wrong thing to say. Not for the first time, Lewis longs to be physically present so he can smooth over the sudden tension which spikes in the room.  “Or we could go before that…I mean…I don’t really need two arms.”

“It’s not urgent or anything,” Vivi responds with the forced cheer of someone holding back on speaking their mind. “I bleary notice that the memories are gone most days. Your arm is more important.”

 “Don’t say that,” Arthur stops eating to frown.

“Don’t say what? That I’m fine postponing the search for my memories for however long it takes you to get better?”

“That’s not…what I mean is that your memories are important.”

Vivi’s expression hardens, becoming terse, “Not more important than your health.”

Arthur tenses.

“My missing memories can wait,” She insists. “I’ve been doing fine without them. Especially now we live here and not in Tempo. I haven’t had a blackout since we moved.”

“It’s not just that…” Arthur retorts, frustrated.

“Then what.” Vivi snaps, almost yelling now, “Do you hear yourself speak?  ‘I don’t really need two arms,’…are you kidding me!  What could possibly be more important than your health.”

“You know I can’t tell you.”

Vivi lets out a long, frustrated breath, standing. “You promised, when we moved closer to the hospital labs, you promised that you’d make an effort to actually look after yourself.”

Arthur doesn’t respond as Vivi continues.  “When your arm is finished. When you look like an actual person and not a zombie. When we don’t have to have this conversation every day. Then we’ll go searching.”

The bar stool squeaks on the floor as Vivi pushes it back, “I’m going to bed. I’ve got work early tomorrow. You should sleep as well…when you’ve finished.”

A long silence stretches between his two friends, all the heat gone from the argument. Lewis can’t see Vivi anymore, Arthur’s vision is now fixed on his spoon which is resting on the lip of the bowl.

“I would tell you everything…if I could…” Arthur doesn’t look up. His voice is strained.

Vivi pauses in the doorway. “I know.” She sounds tired. Lewis’s heart aches. “That doesn’t change anything.” 

Arthur flinches.

A sigh and Vivi adds, “I better not find you awake in an hour because I’m going to set my alarm to check.”

“What?” Arthur finally looks up. “You can’t do that.”

“I can and will.”

“…but you just said you have work in the morning.”

“If you’re not gonna sleep then I’m not gonna sleep.”

“But….”

“Just the way it’s gotta be apparently,” Vivi finishes, strolling out of the room, leaving Arthur- and, through him, Lewis- to stare after her.

Arthur slumps, “God…damnit…” rubbing his eyes. There’s no anger to the word.

No matter how many times he’s seen Arthur and Vivi argue in the weeks and months following his counterpart’s death, it never got any easier.  They were both too stubborn for their own good. Arthur’s got a quiet, methodical stubbornness about him while Vivi is loud and abrasive. Mix that with emotional stress and an obvious concern for one another and the result was a whole load of tension. Lewis knows Arthur has low self-esteem and tendency to beat himself up and blame himself for stuff that definitely wasn’t his fault, but he’s never seen him this bad. It never seemed like that big a deal when both him and Vivi had been around to help.  Vivi too, he’s never see her so stressed and angry at seemingly everything.  Or maybe Lewis doesn’t know Vivi or Arthur as well as he thought he did. 

There is movement in the corner of the room and Lewis notices Mystery for the first time. The not-a-dog had been lying in the corner.

“What.”

Mystery just cocks his head to the side.

“I know you can understand me,” Arthur mutters, shifting with discomfort. Mystery doesn’t speak or do much of anything, trotting out of the room after Vivi. Not too surprising. Another trend in these illusions was that Mystery tended to just sit and watch.

Sometimes, Lewis wonders if he just imagined the whole ‘giant fox’ thing. His memories for the car park confrontation are fuzzy, he’d been in a lot of pain at the time and probably suffering a bit of blood loss. He’s lived through so many of these memories that the real would seams so far away. Then he remembers those shinning teeth biting into him, and very real physical pain. That was real. 

The real world was still out there. 

None of these memories were real. He had almost forgotten. 

“I’m not crazy,” Arthur murmurs, eyeing the dog uneasily before turning back to finish what’s left in his bowl. Lewis can’t read Arthur’s thoughts, but he suspects that his friend might be having similar doubts about Mystery’s true identity as well.

“I’ll find you, Lewis…”

For a second, Lewis thinks Arthur is addressing him directly before remembering that that’s impossible. This fake-memory-Arthur is addressing the ghost of a best friend he doesn’t know is dead. Lewis is only a passenger, watching life through Arthur’s eyes, invisible and stranded.

“I’ll find you …no matter what it takes. I’ll find you. And everything will go back to normal…”

…

…

…

The memory fades, darkening and Lewis is once again back in the dark.

...

...

...

“DAMNIT!”

He slams both fists into the ground, watching the darkness ripple under the impact. His yell doesn’t echo, swallowed by the nothing.

“Damnit…DAMNIT…DAMN IT ALL!”

Feelings of frustration and anger smother his hurt and sorrow. He growls, smashing his fist into the ground again. If this were the real world, he’d have to worry about bruising his knuckles or breaking his fingers. The void offers little in the way of resistance. 

“I GET IT, ALL RIGHT! They’re miserable…they’re struggling…I get the point!”

Nothing responds to his shouting. He’s alone. He shouts again, screaming into the void. He’s stopped questioning the motive behind what he was seeing long ago. They were illusions masquerading as his friend’s memories. Designed to hurt him as much as you can hurt a person without touching them.

“Just stop already!” He rages. Nothing responds.

 Fury, white-hot, is better than the creeping sadness threatening to drown him. Sure, being angry about things had never worked well for him in the past. He’d been a very angry child and it was only thanks to his adopted patents and then Vivi and Arthur that he’d put the unpleasant emotion behind him.

None of that mattered here. Here, in the dark, the anger is his only defence against the green bastard’s torture.

Lewis regrets not punching the asshole when he had the chance. He wishes he’d done a lot of things differently. Lewis continues yelling right up until the dark once again fades into another memory.

..

NOTE: Resurrecting this fic in anticipation for a possible new video maybe? One can only dream. Sorry if it reads slightly different, i’m a bit rusty.  

Part 40: here

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. List 5 things you want to do before the year ends. I’d love to just be able to go to the beach and relax, but that won’t happen. That was the only place I could feel relaxed. Beaches have reopened, but the hours are limited and you can’t just sit/lay there like you used to be able to. You can only walk around. And anyway, the fact we’re still very much in the thick of this whole thing I don’t feel safe or comfortable going places yet or being around people. I wouldn’t feel relaxed at all. 

2. What color are your pants? I’m wearing black leggings.

3. Favorite motivational quote. Meh.

4. When was the last time you drank coffee? I’m drinking a Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink, which as the can says is a “energy coffee beverage.”

5. What was the last thing you ate?   Ramen.

6. Favorite animal. Giraffes! <<< Aww, saaaame. And doggos. (:

7. Favorite song. I couldn’t just choose one favorite.

8. Last movie you watched? I’m completely blanking at the moment in regards to the last movie, but I’ve binged a lot of a couple shows on Netflix recently. 

9. Any turn ons? Nice smelling cologne. 

10. Any turn offs? Cockiness and arrogance.

11. List 4 big words off of the top of your head. Claustrophobia, arachnophobia, agoraphobia, tryphophobia.  

12. What are some meaningful movies?   Hmm.

13. 2 most important people in your life right now? God and my family. Yep, I’m grouping my family cause I couldn’t just choose 2.

14. What are 3 things you want to do before the month ends? Let’s be real- I won’t be doing anything.

15. When was the last time you read a good book? I’m almost done with one called, “Never Walk Alone” by Willow Rose.

16. How long do you study for usually, if you study? I spend about 20 minutes to an hour when doing my Bible studies. 

17. Do you have any nicknames? Just Steph and Sis.

18. Favorite kind of perfume? (fruity, alluring, etc.) I like certain fruity and sweet ones, ones with patchouli, and beachy and autumnal scents from B&BW.

19. Do you have any international friends / friends who live out of state? Those of us in this survey community live all over. 

20. What is something unique that you do every single day? Probably that I have a bowl of ramen of every night.

21. If there was a movie based on your life, what would it be called? A series of unfortunate events <– Pretty damn accurate. Lmao. <<< Lol, I’ve made that joke before, too. I also find it quite fitting for my life.

22. When was the last time you bought a gift for someone? Last month.

23. Are you a shopaholic? I was. My online shopping got out of hand the last few years, too. However, I’ve actually been pretty good this year so far. 

24. What are some songs that always make you feel better? Upbeat and catchy songs help in the moment. Sad, emo, relatable songs can help as well, though. Sometimes just shouting along to “I’m Not Okay” saying, “I’M NOT OKAY, I’M NOT O-FUCKING-KAY!” or something can feel good. ha. Need some good angst.

25. List 3 activities that you can only enjoy by yourself. Surveys, reading, and listening to ASMR.

26. If you could live in any biome (and survive) which biome would you live in? I don’t think I’d last long in any biome.

27. How do you like being roused in the morning? Uh, I don’t.

28. How was your day? What did you do? It’s only about 330 in the morning, but so far it’s been fine. I’ve had my bowl of ramen, scrolled some through Tumblr, watched YouTube videos, and now I’m doing surveys and listening to ASMR.

29. What did your last text message say? I sent my brother a TikTok video that reminded me of our doggo.

30. Do you respond to texts quickly? It depends.

31. Who was the last person you called? My mom.

32. List 5 things that are on your wish list. I don’t knowwww.

33. If you were famous, what do you think you would be famous for? I wouldn’t be famous. I’m not that special or talented. <<< Same. I don’t want to be famous anyway.

34. Winter or summer? Winter, HANDS DOWN.

35. What is a quality that all people should have? Empathy would be great.

36. If you could have a large collection of one item, what would that item be? I already have a large collection of giraffe stuffed animals, books, key chains, and graphic tees. I don’t have room for more.

37. What have you been thinking about lately? My mind is always a jumbled mess with a lot of stuff that is always on my mind from my health, family, and just life in general. But this year has and continues to give me a lot to think about as well.

38. What is the secret to a happy life? Ha, you’re asking the wrong person.

39. What are some phrases you say often? I know I have my many “Stephanieisms”, but I always seem to blank when asked this question.

40. Favorite food? Ramen, scrambled eggs with shredded cheese, spinach, and green onion, Wingstop garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings, spaghetti and meatballs, pasta salads, pesto pasta, deli sandwiches, and baked potatoes.

41. List 3 wishes. I feel like you’ve asked me this in different ways a few times now.

42. What are some of your greatest fears? Losing my loved ones, death, never getting better/getting worse, never doing anything with my life and just wasting away...stuff like that.

43. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? Some stuff for the last Bible study I did.

44. Most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen (in real life)? Beautiful beaches and mountainous areas. I went on a gondola last year that took us up over 9,000ft and the views were breathtaking. 

45. Spicy food:Like or dislike? I used to be obSESSED with spicy food, but I haven’t been able to eat it for a few years now due to some health reasons. It sucks. :/

46. Scary movies:Like or dislike? I love ‘em. I used to be a big baby, but I did a complete switch a few years ago.

47. Do you like to travel? Yes.

48. Any regrets? I have a lot of those.

49. Do you like rain? I love the rain.

50. What do you spend most of your money on? It used to be food or clothes, but this year I haven’t been doing a lot of shopping. 

51. Would you rather visit the past or the future? Past.

52. Favorite clothing store? Hot Topic and BoxLunch.

53. What is the best advice you can give to those who are feeling down? I’m always feeling down, so I’m not the one to ask about that either.

54. How often do you think about your future? Does it scare you? The future terrifies me. My mind is more wrapped up in current and past stuff.

55. What angers you the most? Injustice and corruption.  

56. When was the last time you got majorly angry? In my personal life, it’s been awhile since I’ve been angry. I get irritated and frustrated very easily, though.

57. When was the last time you got really sad? Sadness is one of my personality traits.

58. Are you good at lying? I used to be when it came to lying and downplaying about myself like with how I’m doing and really feeling, but my emotions took control. I still downplay and leave things out, but it’s obvious I’m not doing well. 

59. What foreign language would you like to learn? I’d like to be fluent in Spanish. I’ve been wanting to brush up and start practicing again. 

60. How many languages can you speak and what are they? I’m only fluent in English, but I can speak some Spanish.

61. How often do you go to parties? If you don’t, what do you do instead? I stay at home.

62. What books do you plan to read this year? I’ve read several this year and I plan to read several more. 

63. Do you have breakfast every morning? Nope. Very rarely these days since I sleep until like 3PM everyday. Sometimes I’ll have breakfast foods for a late lunch or dinner, though.

64. Tell us a secret. Nah.

65. How many concerts have you been to? Seven.

66. Last hug? My doggo. I haven’t hugged a person in months.

67. Who knows you better than anyone else? You guys, probably. ha.

68. Baths or showers? Showers.

69. Do you think you’re ambitious? I haven’t been for a long time... 

70. What song is stuck in your head? None at the moment.

71. Countries you’ve visited? Mexico. Besides my own, of course.

72. What do you most value in your friends? Understanding and low maintenance. 73. What helps you to sleep better? Listening to/watching ASMR can help. 

74. What is the most money you have ever held in your hand? 1k.

75. What makes you nervous? A lot of things. 76. What is the best advice you’ve ever been given? Hmm.

77. Is it easier to forgive or forget? I always forgive but never forget. <<<

78. First mobile phone? A gray Motorola flip phone.

79. Strangest dream? I have a lot of those.

80. Best dream? Hmm. 

81. Who is the smartest person you know? My younger brother.

82. Who is the prettiest person on tumblr? All of you.

83. Do you miss anyone right now? Loved ones who have passed away.

84. Who do you love? Why? I love my family. They’re my everything.

85. Do you like sharing? Sharing what?

86. What was the last picture you took with your phone? Probably of my doggo.

87. Is there a reason behind everything that happens? I believe so.

88. Favorite genre of music? I like variety. 89. If you had one word to describe yourself, what would it be? Mess.

90. Describe your life in 5 words. Nahhh.

91. Describe the world in 4 words. Nahhh.

92. Craziest thing you’ve ever done? I’m boring.

93. First three songs in your favorite playlist? I’m not checking right now.

94. Are you more creative or logical? Logical. I wish I was creative.

95. Would you rather lie or hurt someone with the truth? I mean, it kind of depends. If it’s something serious and they need to know, then I’d have to tell them even though it would be hard and could hurt them. 

96. What are you most proud of? I don’t feel proud of myself for anything.

97. What personality trait do you admire in other people? Those who are driven.

98. When you imagine yourself as really, really relaxed and happy, what are you doing? I’m at the beach, just staring out into the ocean while listening to the waves crash in and out and feeling the cool ocean air on my face, breathing it in.

99. How do you usually start a conversation? I usually don’t, ha. But I suppose with a “hey” or something of the sort.

100. What is the best news you could hear right now? That it was all just a horrible dream. <<< Oh man. If only.

[purplesurveys]

900

1. What’s the last thing you ate? Shawarma. It was a usual meal of mine at school so I’ve been missing it a lot during this quarantine, and I was happy when my dad got me a couple ones yesterday.

2. What’s your favourite cheese? I haven’t been super experimental when it comes to cheese mainly because the better ones are a little expensive and I’m more willing to spend my money on other foods...but the best one I’ve had is feta.

3. What’s your favourite fish? My favorite cooked or grilled fish is tilapia and eel; as for raw fish I love tuna.

4. What’s your favourite fruit? I don’t really like fruit but I’m open to eating avocado-flavored things like shakes and cheesecake; and I’m okay with strawberry-flavored candy hahaha.

5. When, if ever, did you start liking olives? I’ve never liked olives. I take them out of my pizza and such.

6. When, if ever, did you start liking beer? I never *liked* beer but sometimes I’ll have a bottle if and only if it’s to socialize at a party. I just keep the grimace to myself lol because I personally never found it good. I had my first beer at Marielle’s debut, four years ago.

7. When, if ever, did you start liking shellfish? High school. That was when my palate started to expand and I wanted to try being more adventurous with food. I got into shellfish pretty early on and my mom even used to buy a kilo of mussels just for me. 

8. What was the best thing your mum/dad/guardian used to make? I love my dad’s laksa, risotto, curries, and chicken wings. My mom doesn’t cook much but I do like her spaghetti.

9. What’s the native specialty of your hometown? My city doesn’t have native food of its own; and I’m not sure about my province’s specialtes either only because cuisines from other provinces are far more popular. I can say though that most visitors who come to the country often try adobo, sinigang, kare-kare, and bulalo.

10. What’s your comfort food? Cheeseburgers, samgyeopsal, pad thai, and chicken wings.

11. What’s your favourite type of chocolate? Milk chocolate. And it gets a lot of flak because it’s not actually chocolate, but I do enjoy the flavor of white chocolate too.

12. How do you like your steak? Rare.

13. How do you like your burger? I like mine with caramelized onions, a mayo-based sauce, and brioche buns; barbecue sauce or jalapeños are add-ons I have no problem being put in my burger. I don’t like tomatoes, pickles, and lettuce.

14. How do you like your eggs? Scrambled if on toast; omelette with cheese, tomatoes, mushrooms, and bell peppers if with rice; and obviously, poached if on top of an Eggs Benedict. I don’t have a preferred style for eggs.

15. How do you like your potatoes? As French fries or mojos.

16. How do you take your coffee? If someone is making the coffee for me, I request for lots of cream and sugar. I’d drink any kind of coffee but black. If I’m at a coffee shop I typically get caramel macchiato.

17. How do you take your tea? I enjoy lemonade iced tea. I don’t really like hot tea.

18. What’s your favourite mug? I suppose my favorite is the only mug I own, which is a white mug that changes colors depending on the temperature of the drink inside.

19. What’s your biscuit or cookie of choice? I can’t stand biscuits anymore because those are what my grandma/mom packed for my recess nearly everyday throughout grade school. I don’t like store-brought cookies either because they taste super processed, but my favorite as a kid were the Presto peanut butter cookies.

20. What’s your ideal breakfast? Garlic rice, a packed omelette, and hashbrowns if I’m somewhere fancy. Scrambled eggs and hotdogs when I’m at home.

21. What’s your ideal sandwich? Monte Cristo or banh mi.

22. What’s your ideal pizza: Quattro formaggi. If we’re talking more experimental pizzas, barbecue pizza is a guilty pleasure.

23. What’s your ideal pie (sweet or savoury)? I’m not a big pie person but I do love savory a lot more, like chicken pot pie. I think most of the sweet pies out there are fruit-based anyway.

24. What’s your ideal salad? Spicy tuna salad. I’ve been having such a craving for it :(

25. What food do you always like to have in the fridge? We always have white bread, eggs, my mom’s cranberry juice, and veggies.

26. What food do you always like to have in the freezer? In the freezer we never run out of various meats and frozen meal packs, like frozen bangus, hotdogs, chicken nuggets, French fries, etc. We also often have ice cream, but it’s not a must-have for us obviously.

27. What food do you always like to have in the cupboard? Pasta, canned food like luncheon meat and corned beef, cup noodles, various condiments like soy sauce and fish sauce, 3-in-1 coffee.

28. What spices can you not live without? I can’t cook but I do know I like salt, pepper, paprika, and cumin. I’m sure I’m missing other essential ones lol

29. What sauces can you not live without? Sriracha, bagoong, banana ketchup, gochujang, peanut sauce, gravy, barbecue sauce, aioli, mayonnaise.

30. Where do you buy most of your food? My parents don’t have a supermarket preference; they just go to wherever is most convenient for them at the moment. Once I start doing my own grocery shopping though I would rather go to a supermarket where they’d have a wider selection for foreign foods, like those that would have Pop-Tarts and sriracha sauce. Just the foodie in me that constantly has to have food from other cultures.

31. How often do you go food shopping? My parents do the groceries once every two or three weeks, I think.

33. What’s the most expensive piece of kitchen equipment you own? Aside from the obvious ref or cooking range, probably the coffee maker. Not sure how much it cost my parents but it’s supposed to be branded haha.

34. What’s the last piece of equipment you bought for your kitchen? Dad bought a couple of pans because he didn’t like how our old ones were starting to get too many scratches.

35. What piece of kitchen equipment could you not live without? Refrigerator. So many things would spoil without it...that’s why when we get blackouts the first thing we worry about is how long the ref would stay cold.

36. How many times a week/month do you cook from raw ingredients? I’ve only done it once.

37. What’s the last thing you cooked from raw ingredients?

38. What meats have you eaten besides cow, pig and poultry? Crocodile, carabao, lamb.

39. What’s the last time you ate something that had fallen on the floor? Don’t remember exactly when but it has to be sometime recently. I’m not too grossed out by this.

40. What’s the last time you ate something you’d picked in the wild? I have never done this.

41. Arrange the following in order of preference: Italian, Mexican, Chinese, Indian, Thai, Sushi – Indian, Thai, Italian, Japanese, Chinese, Mexican. This question is a teeny bit annoying and a little offensive. How would you like it if I referred to American food as ‘ribs’ lol

42. Arrange the following in order of preference: Vodka, Whiskey, Brandy, Rum – Vodka, rum, (some) whiskey. I don’t drink brandy because that’s what my grandpa, who had alcohol issues, used to drink.

43. Arrange the following in order of preference: Garlic, Basil, Lime, Mint, Ginger, Aniseed – Aniseed, garlic, basil, ginger, lime, mint.

44. Arrange the following in order of preference: Pineapple, Orange, Apple, Strawberry, Cherry, Watermelon, Banana. –

45. Bread and spread: I don’t really munch on this particular food. Toast and butter is enough for me.

46. What’s your fast food restaurant of choice, and what do you usually order? It’s either KFC or Jollibee. In KFC I get a Zinger and a brownie; in Jollibee, I usually order the chicken-spaghetti set, large fries, and a Yum Burger. If they have tuna pie on the menu I’d get that too. My appetite gets exceptionally large when it comes to Jollibee hahahaha.

47. Pick a city. What are the best dining experiences you’ve had in that city? I no longer remember what exactly I ate but I had a blaaaast eating in Bali. I also had a sushi platter in Fukuoka that I’ll never forget.

48. What’s your choice of tipple at the end of a long day? I don’t drink regularly but if I’m out with friends and we want to chill after a tiring day, we get a pitcher of a mixed drink.

49. What’s the next thing you’ll eat? Eggs and hotdogs for breakfast. Probably with bread.

50. Are you hungry now? A little bit, considering it’s nearly 10 and I still haven’t had breakfast.

51. Do you eat your breakfast everyday? I’ve been having it everyday now because I’ve been home for...most of the year...sigh. But I skipped it all the time when I was in school because getting to class on time and having a clean attendance record mattered to me more than filling up my stomach. 52. At what time do you have breakfast? On weekdays I have it between 9-10 AM. On weekends when my parents are home, we have brunch instead at around 10:30-11 AM because they wake up late.

53. At what time do you have lunch? I normally skip lunch now. In school I just had tiny eating breaks throughout the day, but I didn’t have lunch per se.

54. What do you have for lunch? My usual purchases were instant noodles/kwek-kwek, tapsilog from Rodic’s, or shawarma rice. Thrived on these three for my entire college life.

55. At what time do you have dinner? 7-8 PM, depending on whenever my dad is finished cooking.

56. What do you have for dinner? My dad likes changing up our dishes everyday :) It’s one of my favorite things about quarantine. Outside of the quarantine, I’ve never had a main dinner dish.

57. Do you light candles during dinner? No.

58. How many chairs are there in your dining room and who sits in the main chair? 6 chairs. We don’t have a ‘main’ chair that’s larger than the rest, but my dad is the one who sits on the chair on one end of the dining table, or what we call the kabisera in Filipino. My mom, siblings, and I sit on either side of him. 

59. Do you eat and drink using your right hand or the left one? I use my right hand for the spoon and my left hand for the fork. I drink with my right hand most of the time.

61. Mention the veggies that you like most: Broccoli, cauliflower, lettuce, cabbage, spinach, asparagus, string beans. Idk what eggplants and bell peppers are but I like those too.

62. What fruit and vegetable do you like the least? Cucumber and ampalaya. 63. You like your fruit salad to have more: Air. Hahahaha I do not like fruit salads.

64. You prefer your vegetable salad to contain more: I love vegetables but don’t really eat vegetable salads? I don’t think I’ve even heard of those.

65. What’s your favourite sandwich spread? Whatever goes on banh mi.

66. What’s your favourite chocolate bar? Whittaker’s peanut butter chocolate.

67. What’s your favourite dessert? I really love macarons, cupcakes, and cheesecake.

68. What’s your favourite drink? Just water. Other drinks make me fuller more quickly.

69. What’s your favourite snack? Pringles, French fries, corndogs...anything deep-fried, really.

70. What’s your favourite bubble gum flavour? Strawberry, or just the original bubblegum flavor.

71. What’s your favourite ice cream flavour? Salted caramel, queso real, or cookies and cream.

72. What’s your favourite potato chip flavour? Original or sour cream and onion.

73. What’s your favourite soup? Miso. Have to have it whenever I have Japanese food.

74. What’s your favourite pizza? Already answered this, but I will always order quattro formaggi if I see it on a menu.

75. What’s your favourite type of dish? I have lots of favorites, but I think chicken curry takes the cake for me. 

76. What food do you hate? Fruits, any dessert with fruits.

77. What’s your favourite restaurant? Yabu. It’s a Japanese restaurant that doesn’t even serve sushi (because I’m still ticked off by that sushi question lol).

78. Do you eat homemade food, or food delivered from outside? These days I eat food cooked by either parent. But when I’m on my own, I buy my food.

80. Who cooks at home? My dad does most of the time. My mom will make breakfast on the weekends.

81. What kind of diet (e.g. low-fat, high-fiber, high-carbohydrate, balanced diet etc.) do you have? I’m not on any.

82. How do you keep yourself fit? I just moderate my food intake in general and make sure I stop eating once I feel full. I don’t work out or count calories and stuff.

[crystalized-dreams]

So, we ended up going to Tennessee last weekend to see some friends (And well, go to Worlds while there anyway), which if you check my Twitter or are subscribed to my Youtube channel, you likely already knew 😛 But anyway, it was nice to go somewhere new. I had never been to Tennessee so I had fun just enjoying Nashville.

Before we get into the general trip stuff, I’ll talk about Pokemon and Pokemon Worlds a bit 🙂

So, we picked up our badges on Thursday afternoon. Figured it was best to get that and the shop out of the way ASAP. I think I generally liked the colors/theme of the Worlds 2017 stuff better, but I still really liked the lanyard at least. I loved all the Pokemon with the different instruments. I kind of wished there was more merchandise featuring all the Pokemon for this over just Pikachu. They did, however, give out this free poster which was perfect (And we were even given a few extras!):

So, while we didn’t really buy any of the exclusive stuff, we did get these adorable plushies: And here’s the bag by itself:

We also got some packs of cards with our spectator badges and these were essentially the highlights from our pack openings: I did not get nearly as nice cards from opening the digital versions 😛

They also had a demo station for the Let’s Go games! I was really excited to try them out:

And even got this cute Pokeball stress ball for playing:

I actually had a lot of fun with it. I really like the look of the game and how Pokemon show up and just exploring. The world feels so much more alive which is really nice. The Pokeball controller worked well, though, I found I accidentally would hit the button versus moving it sometimes, but I think that’s more just because I was getting used to it. It also reacted fairly well, but I couldn’t figure out exactly where the timing was for Pokemon who move around a lot and sadly, my time with the demo ended before I could play around with it more.

I’m really looking forward to it though. Now to just… finish Ultra Moon.

But yes, some pictures from the Pokemon Center, the main room, and where it was being held: #gallery-0-9 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-9 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 33%; } #gallery-0-9 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-9 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

The view was so nice.

The Prize Wall

I want one of these in my house.

One of the various stands around. Meloetta was the Pokemon available to download. If only it was able to come with a ribbon…

Part of the Stage! I love the building names.

All the set-ups were genuinely really neat.

They’re really nice. But honestly, the card artwork is my favorite.

I really love these so much

I was so tempted to buy one of these, but $50 was too much for me… 😦

I really loved the stage. I love the buildings being all Pokemon world themed and it just really makes me wish there was some big combined Pokemon game of all the various cities and things we’ve gotten from every game. The Pokemon World is already so huge and there’s so much to see and I wish they’d actually use that versus constant new regions. At this point, I’m just kind of tired of new regions and new Pokemon. I’d mind a new region less if we could visit it alongside familiar ones, but I think there’s plenty of Pokemon at this point 😦

Moving a bit more outside the convention center, I wish we got to do more in Pokemon GO, honestly. We seemed to manage to miss every single raid, there weren’t too many Pokestops actually in the main room, my GPS was constantly a bit finnicky, and I just didn’t have much luck with spawns either. I at least finally got a Sneasel and I did get a shiny Sunkern:

Also Tom traded me one of the Shiny Mareep he caught when we had visited back in April so yay 😀 And I at least got a lot of gifts to send back to people. Since I don’t go out much (and sometimes just can’t especially with the weather lately), I don’t usually have many chances to give gifts out 😦

But yes, as to one of the biggest reasons for going, it was to pick up this from a very amazing friend:

This was one of the prizes for the first winner of the Sylveon Girls Battle in 2016 in Japan and one of my most wanted items that featured Mega Audino T~T My next big goal will be Mega Audino Ddakji:

So, if you’re in Korea or know someone who could maybe help with those, let me know! ❤

Going into general Tennessee, it’s time for various random tourist-y pictures and food tours 😛 #gallery-0-10 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-10 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 33%; } #gallery-0-10 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-10 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

I couldn’t help but take pictures of some of the things at the airport when we landed

This was in the center of the hotel’s main entrance. Though, this was taken as we were leaving…

Close-up because of the cute bird in the tree!

Fireplace in the lobby.

Flowers in the hall.

Our hotel room!

The breakfast at the hotel! It was nice.

The hotel actually occasionally had stuff for dinner too though.

And for lunch as well!

And they switched it up a bit. Some nachos with chili and cheese! They also always had cookies–chocolate chip and oatmeal raisin.

Our very first meal was at the Corner Bakery Cafe that was right at the corner of the hotel. I had a Club Panini with Chicken Carbonara.

My husband had the BBLT with the Asian Wonton Salad. The drink was a Hibiscus Lemonade. I actually really liked this place, but due to the hours, we didn’t manage to go there again sadly.

This pig was near the entrance of Martin’s Bar-B-Que Joint. You’ll see we ate there a few times 😛 As it was my husband’s favorite and pretty much everything we had there was good. I wonder if this pig has a name. I will name him Sir Pig for now.

Meanwhile, I got a sausage sandwich and potato salad

My husband’s pulled pork and corn bread~

Dessert! I got pecan pie while he got their fried pie to try.

On another day, my husband got the “redneck taco” and potato salad.

Meanwhile, I got the sausage platter with hush puppies and cornbread.

On our final day, I had actually still been sick from the day before and so, we didn’t have lunch (paired with just not many people being open on Sunday). In combination with that and it being our last day and my husband still wanting to try a lot, we kind of overdid it a bit. I got a brisket sandwich with a side of mac & cheese and a baked potato. He got the the Brisket Burger with the cornbread, and then Loaded Fries and Catfish for sharing. And a strawberry cake for dessert.

They also had homemade brownies. I miss this brownie.

Also cheesy bread to share.

And olives! My only issue is only some were pitted and it wasn’t even just like… one specific type that wasn’t pitted. It was a bit random.

My husband’s pizza~

This is from Hot Diggity Dogs 🙂 I got a normal hotdog and the Polish Sausage while my husband got the Nashville and Bratwurst. Also cheese fries.

Straight down from the convention center was Al Taglio, a pizza place. I got an all cheese pizza.

Wild Bill’s was essentially a soda stand in the convention center. They had all kinds of different soda’s and if you got one of their special cups, you could get free refills on Friday and Saturday. While soda isn’t really my thing, my husband enjoyed it.

One thing we saw a lot was a Party Bike. Which was like a Party Bus… but with a group of people biking. They were always kind of amusing to see.

Butterfly we saw at the airport!

But yeah, I had more fun than I would have expected and there’s definitely more I would like to do and see so hopefully we have time to go again. And hopefully we won’t have another person pulling the fire alarm or another super hot day that destroys me because those were really the only bad things.

As for Pokemon Worlds next year… We don’t have too many plans, but Washington DC is a pretty good location for us, so maybe~

A Trip to Tennessee! (Pokemon Worlds and Goals) So, we ended up going to Tennessee last weekend to see some friends (And well, go to Worlds while there anyway), which if you check my Twitter or are subscribed to my Youtube channel, you likely already knew 😛 But anyway, it was nice to go somewhere new.

[cosmosogler]

i waited to get up until 7:30 after going to bed around 11, but i was still awake for a large portion of the night. i know because snoopy would meow and i meowed back like five separate times. it’s funny because if i reply she meows again, but if i don’t she goes quiet.

i spent too much time dicking around on the internet so i skipped my workout and just went straight to the vet’s office. it was kind of raining so instead of waiting for the bus to come to my side of the road i caught it going the other way and waited at the bus station in the bus to start the route. on the way there the bus hit a bump and the woman across from me dropped her baby car seat trying to save her purse and i near dove out of my chair trying to catch it. 

i think she wanted to start up a conversation after that but i REALLY didn’t want to talk so i just smiled at her and looked away. i drummed my outside three fingers against the side of my seat. my right index finger was still bandaged from yesterday and i didn’t have a lot of mobility with it.

i’ve been smiling at people a lot while out in public. i guess apologetically. like, sorry for being on the sidewalk here. sorry you caught me looking at you briefly. but i’m so afraid of ignoring someone i walk by. like, it would be rude to not acknowledge them, right? it ends up getting me into a lot of conversations i don’t really want to have though. 

it was worse in flagstaff. getting stopped by random men. i think i wrote about it here a few times when it happened. like the 50/60-something man who indirectly asked me out and i pretended it was a joke. here it was the gay couple. the first guy was louder and said i was the first person who had acknowledged his existence all day. the second guy was quieter and i felt REALLY bad asking him to speak up every other sentence. like in a weird indirect way i was, like, forcing him to be more public about his boyfriend or his homelessness. 

but i’ve been having a lot of trouble understanding people lately. i guess because there are so many new voices and i don’t have any familiar people who i already know how they talk. i can’t pick these new people out from a crowd or a busy street. 

i have to ask mom to repeat herself all the time too because i don’t catch the first or last half of her sentence sometimes. she kind of sighs and repeats herself. i feel stupid like i can’t focus long enough to hear a single sentence.

after i picked up snoopy’s medicine i ran all the way to another bus route’s stop so i wouldn’t have to wait for over an hour again. i caught the bus right as it was driving up, but when i looked up i noticed i was standing by the interstate sign and not a bus stop. the bus stopped for me anyway though and i wanted to thank the driver for a million years. he looked kinda bored though.

so when i got home 10 minutes after leaving the vet’s office i cleaned my apartment and started my laundry and washed some dishes and put together my schedule for the month on my calendar. snoopy is one of very few cats who doesn’t like the flavor of the medicine so i had to hold her down. she was pretty mad at me for like an hour. i left some (new from uncle mike!) cookies on the ottoman for her and she ate them while i wasn’t looking. i put off lunch for a long time. when i finally did eat i only made it through half the serving. i could tell, when i sat and thought about it, that i was still really hungry. but my body just said “nope, no more” and i lost all interest even though i knew i was going to be hungry and weak later.

after that snoopy was sick on one of the rugs so i put that in the wash? i think? i forget when that happened. either way around 2:30 or so i went out to the grocery store. i only spent like 33 dollars for the week’s worth of food this time. i had left my list a little open-ended, so i spent a while looking at different things and ended up picking none of them. it’s hard to get myself to buy food for the future when i look at everything and my body says “meh.......”

when i got back i finished up the taz episode i had started last night and bummed around online instead of making dinner at the time i normally eat. i didn’t start cooking anything until around 7 when i usually have my food ready around 6:10. i didn’t make a ton of food so i didn’t have as much trouble forcing it all down as i did at lunch. i had a little ice cream afterward too while snoopy sat next to me. 

i dunno... i started feeling worse as the evening went on. tomorrow’s my birthday. the physics grads all want to go to the museum of natural history since i suggested it when i saw the flyer on my fridge. 

i was folding some laundry last-minute when it really hit me that i have a lot of emotional problems. it was like getting dunked in cold water. i had a similar problem back when my courses got changed on wednesday... these people don’t know anything about me. it’s impossible to choose a “first time” for them to see me at my “worst.” maybe jennica saw me pass out during the prelim exams and it doesn’t even matter. i don’t know that for sure though.

i’ve been grinding my teeth a lot. it hurts a lot. the dentist never called me back though and i haven’t had time/energy to try again. i’ll have to do that on tuesday and see what i can do.

just, thinking about craig i guess. and game theory and different categories of players. these are related because game theory applies to social interaction by way of, like, tolerance of miscommunication. i was gonna say he changed the way i play the social game but actually thinking about it further, he didn’t change it at all. 

for all the emotional impact it feels like he left on my life sometimes, when i think about it in the context of the rest of my life it isn’t a particularly special occurrence. he insulted me and betrayed me and belittled me in all the same ways everyone else has since early grade school. since, like, kindergarten. even the assault in particular is like, that’s not what gave me trust issues with physical contact around other people. mom hitting me all the time when i was 4 did that more than anything else. 

so why, when i think about why i feel so bad all the time, does that icky feeling of getting sat on (more than sat on) while trying to nap come up first, floating to the top like gross fat? even before everything else that came before it? why were the words craig used practically the exact same as the words everyone else before him used but it’s his face saying them when i think about it?

maybe it’s easier to hate one person than it is to hate everyone. i don’t know.

unwanted contact overload happened before him too! in high school people would sit on my lap while i was in the common room talking to my friends. people would grab my shoulders from behind and start digging their thumbs into my shoulder blades as some weird sign of affection. that happened at nau after i left villanova too! that must have been like the only time i ever snapped at heather.

man... i know my journal entries here are really long. if you’re reading all the way through them... thanks, i guess. i know i’m Just Too Much. too much, all the time, never ending, just a flood of sewage emotions leaking everywhere. i don’t have anywhere else to process all this stuff. i don’t have a therapist right now. haven’t seen a psychiatrist in over nine months. group doesn’t start for another 4-5 weeks. though when group starts i’ll probably be complaining about that long-windedly here too.

i’m always too much. i don’t know how to make myself any smaller. i don’t think i can tuck even a single fold more of my Too Muchness into myself without something else spilling out. 

i’ve been having a thought, the last few weeks, as i’ve started grad school. that thought is “i am setting myself up to fail, because i am not allowed to have nice things, because i am bad and i hate myself.” 

... i mean, it’s certainly a thought i am having. but just because it’s occurred to me that it might be the case, doesn’t mean it is the case, you know? and it doesn’t have to always be the case. but one thing i am doing about the thought is nothing. i feel like... i need permission to stop thinking that way. i need someone who is not me to look at the thought and say “hmm, yeah, that sucks, but here is that magical confidence that you have been missing for years so now you don’t have to think that way any more. i have been keeping spare confidence in my desk here, you see, and since you just so happened to come along i can give it to you like a big shiny diploma.” even though my last big shiny diploma, my, my physics degree, did nothing except make me feel bad.

i feel like... i don’t want to do anything else with my life. if i’m not going to do something that i personally think is important then what’s the point. i’m just taking up space and not contributing to the conversation. even though at this point i’m pretty sure i don’t have anything to contribute anyway and that makes me want to die because now i’m just a drain on everyone’s energy. i’m something that people have to Deal With. like an attention leech. 

how can i ever be happy if i am not doing something that matters to me? what if i could do the Most Important thing in line with my values? 

well, if i could do that, why bother with the second most important thing? it’s not as important as the most important thing. i don’t have a lot of time to live and when you don’t have enough time to do everything you gotta prioritize, right? 

but if i can’t do the Most Important thing... what’s even the point? i’m just gonna sit there on the sidelines and look at that important thing and know that it can’t be important to me. because i can’t work toward completing the thing, so i will have to put something else in front of it. but what in life could ever be more beautiful than the stars? what’s more elegant than the act of looking at stuff and figuring out how it works from the information you have? what’s more fun than making up rules and seeing if reality agrees with you?

and... if someday i find that i can’t do this, and i have to find something else that’s beautiful and fun, then i’ll have to live knowing that there was something more interesting that i couldn’t do. 

i know not everyone has that attitude. and not everyone can have that attitude. and i’m starting to think i might also be in that situation. but i can’t tell if it’s because i’m actually in that situation or because i’ve got something in the way that i need to get out of the way before i can continue.

maybe it’s selfish of me to think this way, or it means i’m spoiled. but like... if i’m only going to be alive once, and for a limited time, then if i can’t do what i think is the most important then what’s the point? 

i don’t know if i’m someone worth getting to know. i’m so stupid that i want to do physics but i can’t find a way to actually do it. if i can’t be creative and resourceful people will think i am boring and then i will be alone.

maybe i am making myself boring because i want to be alone. or, i think people will realize i am secretly boring and then leave anyway so maybe i am saving them time by letting them know upfront. if you make everyone hate you, you don’t have to worry about anyone ever loving you! and you don’t have to worry about betraying that love.

if you die from an injury, you don’t have to worry about what will happen if you survive your injury and have to live with that for the rest of your life.

[sky-on-blog]

1. What’s the last thing you ate? Ice cream, I think, last night.

2. What’s your favourite cheese? Pepper jack.

3. What’s your favourite fish? Salmon.

4. What’s your favourite fruit? Pineapple, even though it hurts my mouth to eat it raw.

5. When, if ever, did you start liking olives? I’m pretty sure I’ve always liked olives -- at least, the black ones. I used to take them from salad bars and eat them by themselves when I was little. Green olives are okay. I dislike Kalamata olives, though.

6. When, if ever, did you start liking beer? Probably like, after I turned 21. I disliked it for a long time until I tried things other than my mother’s Coors Light.

7. When, if ever, did you start liking shellfish? I’m pretty sure I’ve always liked shellfish, too. I don’t understand how people can not like crabs?

8. What was the best thing your mom/dad/guardian used to make? Uh. Nothing, really. My parents are pretty terrible cooks. Do cookies count? Because I can make those, too.

9. What’s the native specialty of your hometown? I don’t know. Scrapple? Delaware doesn’t have a lot of “native specialties.” Apparently muskrat is a thing that people eat there, even though I lived there until I was 24 and never once encountered it (thankfully).

10. What’s your comfort food? Goldfish, or peanut butter Captain Crunch. Also peanut butter M&Ms. And Reese’s.

11. What’s your favourite type of chocolate? Milk. 12. How do you like your steak? Medium rare. I thought I didn’t like steak for basically my entire life because I only ever had it more well done.

13. How do you like your burger? Medium, I guess? I’ve never really compared.

14. How do you like your eggs? Over easy, and preferably atop hash browns.

15. How do you like your potatoes? Fried and crispy. Mashed potatoes are good, too, though.

16. How do you take your coffee? With flavored creamer, or cream and sugar if it’s just regular cream.

17. How do you take your tea? Depends on the kind of tea. I like iced green tea, but only if it isn’t bitter -- so like, not from a teabag. And hot tea is okay, but I mostly just drink that to help with my throat or to relax; I don’t really love the taste, or anything. When I do drink it, though, I just drink it plain -- with the exception of some honey if I feel really bad, but again, that’s less for the taste and more for the effects. 

18. What’s your favourite mug? A fox-shaped one that I got as a gift.

19. What’s your biscuit or cookie of choice? Peanut butter chocolate chip.

20. What’s your ideal breakfast? Uhh. Depends on my mood, I guess. But there’s a place in Haines City that has these apple cinnamon waffles that are pretty amazing. 

21. What’s your ideal sandwich? Those Italian, oven-baked sandwiches from Domino’s. They are amazing. Turkey clubs are great, too.

22. What’s your ideal pizza: Light sauce with pineapple and jalapeno. Red Baron’s frozen Mexican pizza is awesome, as well.

23. What’s your ideal pie (sweet or savoury)? Pumpkin -- sweet. I wholly prefer sweet pie to savory.

24. What’s your ideal salad? The one you get at Olive Garden. That’s the only salad I can actually get excited about. Oh, or black bean and corn salad, oh my god. 

25. What food do you always like to have in the fridge? Something easily accessible. It’s not a “food,” but I always like to have soda. And onions, preferably red.

26. What food do you always like to have in the freezer? Again, something easy to make. Oh, and burgers.

27. What food do you always like to have in the cupboard? Goldfish, cereal, candy, coffee.

28. What spices can you not live without? Salt is the only one I could probably actually not go without, but cilantro and cayenne are pretty excellent, too.

29. What sauces can you not live without? Eh. I can live without most sauce -- I prefer things to be more dry. Does salsa count as sauce? I tend to miss that when I don’t have it. 

30. Where do you buy most of your food? Walmart. It’s right across the street, and it’s cheap. But we also go to Publix pretty often, too. 

31. How often do you go food shopping? Usually about once a week, but it depends on when Jeremy’s and my schedules line up and when we start to run out of food.

33. What’s the most expensive piece of kitchen equipment you own? ...I’m drawing a blank. Jeremy’s dad got us a frappuccino maker that we’ve never used in the pantry. Oh, there’s a Keurig in the closet, but it doesn’t work. Does that count? I mean, we have a microwave and an oven, but we don’t own those. Maybe the toaster oven?

34. What’s the last piece of equipment you bought for your kitchen? A coffee maker, when the Keurig stopped working.

35. What piece of kitchen equipment could you not live without? The microwave, without a doubt.

36. How many times a week/month do you cook from raw ingredients? Me personally, never. Jeremy, for both of us to eat...probably a few times a month.

37. What’s the last thing you cooked from raw ingredients? Chicken enchilada casserole. It wasn’t very good, which is why I don’t cook.

38. What meats have you eaten besides cow, pig and poultry? Lamb and deer are the only two I can think of. They have a lot of alligator down here in Florida, though, and I’ve been meaning to try that. Oh, I tried frog once, and it was awful -- but granted, it was at a pretty awful restaurant.

39. What’s the last time you ate something that had fallen on the floor? Yesterday, a walnut fell onto the kitchen counter and I still put it in my ice cream. I probably ate something off the floor yesterday, too. It happens.

40. What’s the last time you ate something you’d picked in the wild? Years and years ago, when my friends and I went cherry-picking.

41. Arrange the following in order of preference: Italian, Mexican, Chinese, Indian, Thai, Sushi – Sushi, Mexican, Thai, Chinese, Italian, Indian. Although, I’ve only ever had Indian food once, and nothing there was very good except the naan. So maybe that place just wasn’t very good.

42. Arrange the following in order of preference: Vodka, Whiskey, Brandy, Rum – I haven’t had brandy in a while and I don’t really remember what it tastes like, so I’m going to leave that out of the equation. But probably rum, whiskey, vodka, although I like all three pretty well.

43. Arrange the following in order of preference: Garlic, Basil, Caramel, Lime, Mint, Ginger, Aniseed – I’ve never had aniseed. But otherwise -- lime, garlic, ginger, mint (as long as it’s in dessert), basil, caramel. If the mint is in something savory, then it goes at the very bottom; I really hate mint in savory things.

44. Arrange the following in order of preference: Pineapple, Orange, Apple, Strawberry, Cherry, Watermelon, Banana. – Pineapple, orange, strawberry, apple, banana, cherry, watermelon.

45. Bread and spread: What? Like, my favorites? I like pumpernickel bread, and...I don’t know. Mayonnaise? That chili spread -- the famous one with the rooster -- is pretty good, too.

46. What’s your fast food restaurant of choice, and what do you usually order? Probably Popeye’s -- spicy chicken, usually tenders, with red beans and rice. 

47. Pick a city. What are the best dining experiences you’ve had in that city? Uh. Newark, in Delaware, has this pretty great Japanese buffet.

48. What’s your choice of tipple at the end of a long day? What’s a tipple?

49. What’s the next thing you’ll eat? I’m not sure. I might eat some cereal or Goldfish or something before work.

50. Are you hungry now? Sort of, but I don’t know what I want.

51. Do you eat your breakfast everyday? No. I’m never hungry when I wake up; I have to force myself to eat, like, a granola bar when I go to work. 

52. At what time do you have breakfast? Whenever I get up and feel like it. 

53. At what time do you have lunch? Whenever they give it to me at work, or just...whenever Jeremy and I get hungry.

54. What do you have for lunch? Different stuff. Usually burgers, hot dogs, fries -- something easy.

55. At what time do you have dinner? When I get home from work, so usually around 9:30-10.

56. What do you have for dinner? Again, different stuff.

57. Do you light candles during dinner? No.

58. How many chairs are there in your dining room and who sits in the main chair? There isn’t a dining room in our apartment, but there’s a table in the corner with four chairs. There isn’t a “main” chair; they’re all the same.

59. Do you eat and drink using your right hand or the left one? Right, usually.

61. Mention the veggies that you like most: Pickles, onions, jalapenos, tomatoes. 

62. What fruit and vegetable do you like the least? Cantaloupe is my absolute least favorite fruit -- I can’t stand the taste. And my least favorite vegetable...probably Brussels sprouts.

63. You like your fruit salad to have more: Uhh. I haven’t had fruit salad in a long time. I guess strawberries?

64. You prefer your vegetable salad to contain more: Tomatoes.

65. What’s your favourite sandwich spread? Oh, I answered this earlier -- mayo or that chili spread. Admittedly, though, I haven’t had very many sandwich spreads.

66. What’s your favourite chocolate bar? Crunch. 

67. What’s your favourite dessert? Peanut butter brownie sundaes.

68. What’s your favourite drink? I don’t know. I’ve been in a weird drink place lately where I don’t know what I want. Margaritas are pretty great, though.

69. What’s your favourite snack? Goldfish.

70. What’s your favourite bubble gum flavour? Just like, wintergreen, probably, or spearmint. I like lemony ones, too. They used to have a strawberry lemonade one that was really good -- I don’t know if it still exists. But I’m not a big fan of gum, and my teeth have like, no enamel, so I never chew it. Oh, I used to like Juicy Fruit a lot when I was little.

71. What’s your favourite ice cream flavour? Green tea. I can only ever find it from Haagen-Dazs at some Publix. Oh, and brown sugar. Baskin Robbins has one that has brown sugar in it and it’s fucking incredible, but I’m pretty sure it’s seasonal. 

72. What’s your favourite potato chip flavour? Sour cream and onion, or just regular.

73. What’s your favourite soup? Chicken tortilla.

74. What’s your favourite pizza? Jalapeno and pineapple. 

75. What’s your favourite type of dish? Sushi, or Mexican.

76. What food do you hate? Cantaloupe. Peas. Brussels sprouts. Oatmeal. Applesauce. Anything mushy like that. Oh, and oysters/clams. And frog.

77. What’s your favourite restaurant? Hibachi.

78. Do you eat homemade food, food delivered from outside? I eat both, but I prefer food that’s not homemade, usually.

80. Who cooks at home? Jeremy.

81. What kind of diet (e.g. low-fat, high-fiber, high-carbohydrate, balanced diet etc.) do you have? Uh. A really unhealthy, salty, fattening one.

82. How do you keep yourself fit? I don’t.

[healingmoonlight]

July 5 - July 12 ♡

my stay in London was amazing and I thought I’d share a little about each day of my stay ♡  Of course I was there mainly for Vivien, and there was just so much, but I referenced my journals and picked out some hi lights <3  ♡ 

July 5 - My Mamita and me arrived in London late at night; on the plane I watched Beauty&TheBeast 2017, read my Vivien book, and listened to Taylor Swift ♡ 

July 6 - National Portrait Gallery day ♡  We met everyone a part of the Vivien Leigh Circle and received a beautiful welcome Vivien tote bag, pin, schedules & such! I found Viv’s portrait in the gallery and even other OH stars (like JoJo Baker!) Me and my mum ate lunch at a pretty little French cafe decorated with vintage French posters ♡ I bought Vivien postcards from the Gallery, and we went to the afternoon lecture with Adrian Woodhouse (when I got his signature!!) and saw so many photos I have never seen of Viv. Then we viewed the Gallery archives of Viv and again saw many photos&clippings of Viv I’ve never seen <33 After we saw Buckingham Palace! <33

July 7 - Dear Vivien rest in peace ♡ V&A Blythe House Vivien archives viewings ♡ Saw SO much (btw I took photos of literally everything I saw this whole week!) Things we got to see include Gertrude Hartley’s Vivien scrapbooks, her beautiful head piece she wore in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Vivien’s journals, and letters Vivien wrote and received ♡ We also saw 2 3D slides of Vivien and they were so amazing it looked as if Viv was right there </3 For lunch me and mum went to another cute outdoor Paris cafe <3 We saw Big Ben, I tried my first gin&tonic (Viv’s fave drink) and it was so good omg. At night was the evening memorial at St.Paul’s “Actor’s” Church. It was so beautiful, my heart was so happy and everyone was there for Vivien <3 The Church was filled with beautiful Vivien photos and white roses, we had champagne to cheers to Vivien, and I even met Tarquin Olivier (who called me pretty and I almost died) and he signed my program <33 almost full moon tonight <3 

July 8 - Walking tour around London of Vivien related sights <3 We visited Durham Cottage, Waterloo Bridge, Eaton Square, the Old Vic, and many theaters <33 We all had white roses and photos of Vivien; My mom and me met another mother/daughter fans and we had lunch with them... we met so many people and fans and everyone was so lovely, I miss them all so much. Later that day I met a black cat with striking green eyes and he sat in my lap <33 Also we had watermelon margaritas :**)

July 9 - “Loving Vivien Leigh” at Queen Mary University - The love we all have for Vivien is just so amazing. We listened to lectures from Vivien authors, and people who personally met and knew Vivien, we all made collages of answers to why we love Vivien and such <3 we had tea and finger foods and Kendra Bean signed my Vivien Leigh book <3 The show and tell was absolutely incredible. It was full of costumes, letters, theater programs, magazines, photos, videos, fan art, dolls .... too amazing ♡ Tonight I had fish and chips, hot peanuts, visited Harrods <33 

July 10 - Visit to Notley Abbey - before leaving I got myself a pretty pink shawl! Notley Abbey was so magical and beautiful. It was Alejandro&Kevin’s wedding anniversary, and they married at Notley, so it was extra special! seeing photos of how Vivien decorated Notley comparing them to how it looks today was so surreal. We had tea and biscuits, toured the grounds, and had a lovely day all together. We went out for a group dinner, saw new photos of Vvien’s beloved Tickerage Mill (which I sadly could not attend to see the following day) and visited a Vivien ground mosaic ♡ 

July 11 - last day in London - Visited the V&A to see Vivien costumes and such <33 Saw her Duel of Angels Christian Dior gown, Caesar and Cleopatra headdress and costume sketch, and a little archive viewing display <3 After, we got to experience some England rain and had high tea in a gorgeous Italian cafe (I had sweet peach for Scarlett!) We finished up some shopping and went to The Ivy for dinner <3 (where Vivien would go to eat when she was just beginning theater shows) and had Sheppherd’s pie with pink rose and cappuccino after. 

July 12 - Traveling back to NY I watched Julie and Julia the film and had Darjeeling tea for Viv <33

[peanutscratch]

1 - 150

Incredible I did literally bring this on myself tho1. Who was the last person you held hands with?I honestly don't remember... Probably a friend from school or something.2. Are you outgoing or shy?Generally outgoing but it's draining... 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?School friends, but I've been meeting up with lots of people from back home or who graduated recently so it's been nice!4. Are you easy to get along with?YeOr so I've been told :P5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?I'd hope so? I assume so. 6. What kind of people are you attracted to?Cute people who are funny and who think I'm funny. 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?Pfft no. 8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?No one in particular... 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?Not really but idk how to initiate a conversation about sex ever. 10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?My friend Sydney a few nights back11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?👍12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?OH time for recent faves:- Jam Jam by IU- 最爱雨天 by Men Envy Children- 告白气球 by Jay Chou- 如果我们不曾相遇 by 五月天- Wild Heart by Bleachers and Sara Bareilles13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?Not really... At best it feels weird at worst it makes me feel uncomfortable. (people like touching my beard though? Which I'm actually more ok with :P) 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?Ye. It's all about being the right person in the right place at the right time. 15. What good thing happened this summer?Got to hang out with people!! Got to do a cool project in Boston!! 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?Lol probably not... 17. Do you think there is life on other planets?Yes. Undoubtedly. Definitely and with 100% certainty. 18. Do you still talk to your first crush?I barely remember who my first crush was. 19. Do you like bubble baths?Nah I only take showers these days. 20. Do you like your neighbors?They're fine. 21. What are you bad habits?Blaming myself and taking responsibility for things that aren't my fault.22. Where would you like to travel?Everywhere. All over Asia. Especially Japan, China, Singapore, Dubai, Thailand, everywhere. 23. Do you have trust issues?I trust myself. 24. Favorite part of your daily routine?Lunch! 25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?I'm pretty comfortable with my body but probably my figure. Would like to be more fit. 26. What do you do when you wake up?Try to get out of bed, take a shower asap. 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?Neither, I really am pretty comfortable with my body. 28. Who are you most comfortable around?Most of my close friends. 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?Don't think so. 30. Do you ever want to get married?Sure. More than that I want to raise a family tho. 31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?Nah. 32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?What. I'm not really big on celebrities...33. Spell your name with your chin.Jnhfzh (I tried) 34. Do you play sports? What sports?Lol sports. What's up sports it's been a while since we last met huh... 35. Would you rather live without TV or music?I already live without TV.36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?Constantly. Sometimes you gotta pick your battles. 37. What do you say during awkward silences?I don't. That's what makes it an awkward silence. 38. Describe your dream girl/guy?I like them and they like me. 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?Gimme those ethnic grocery stores yes pls!40. What do you want to do after high school?Lol. 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?Mostly yes. Very few things are completely unforgivable in my book... 42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?Thinking about something. Or recharging. 43. Do you smile at strangers?Sure, especially if they smile at me. 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?I think space would be less scary. 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?Knowing I've got stuff to do. Potential. 46. What are you paranoid about?Losing people I love. 47. Have you ever been high?Nah. 48. Have you ever been drunk?Yeah. It's not for me. 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?Probably not... 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?I don't usually wear hoodies? Probably black and red51. Ever wished you were someone else?Yeah, me except I have a better fashion sense and can speak like 40 languages52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?I wish I kept up speaking my mother tongue when I was growing up so I didn't have to struggle to relearn it now. 53. Favourite makeup brand?N/A54. Favourite store?Barnes & Noble55. Favourite blog?I really like those blogs that post creative coding gifs56. Favourite colour?Probably blue57. Favourite food?Pasta58. Last thing you ate?I made stir fry today for dinner! 59. First thing you ate this morning?Some rice bowl thing with tofu 👍👍👌👌60. Ever won a competition? For what?Don't think so? I did win a science fair in high school with lifesavers tho. 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?Nope62. Been arrested? For what?Also no63. Ever been in love?Yes. I'd like to think so anyway. 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?Lol don't even remember it... 65. Are you hungry right now?Nah too late 4 food66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?Same Friends Same Friends! 👉67. Facebook or Twitter?Fb68. Twitter or Tumblr?Tumblr69. Are you watching tv right now?Never 70. Names of your bestfriends?Steven, Winston, others71. Craving something? What?More hugs... 72. What colour are your towels?Mostly dark blue or teal72. How many pillows do you sleep with?2 ✌️73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?Nah74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?Honestly idek if I own any xD75. Favourite animal?Snek🐍🐍76. What colour is your underwear?Grey today77. Chocolate or Vanilla?I used to be hardcore chocolate but nowadays I'm really feeling vanilla. 78. Favourite ice cream flavour?Birthday Cake!!!! 79. What colour shirt are you wearing?Purple! 80. What colour pants?Burgundy 81. Favourite tv show?Yo I just finished this top quality anime it is called Flying Witch everyone watch it. Mob Psycho 100 is good too. Pls Watch Car Boys. 82. Favourite movie?Car Boys. 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?Have not seen either but probably the original. 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?Haven't seen either but probably mean girls. 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?The mean girl? 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?That turtle who's like "gnarly cowabungas dude" or w/e87. First person you talked to today?My roommate Jack88. Last person you talked to today?Steven89. Name a person you hate?I don't have time to hate people that's a lot of effort. 90. Name a person you love?Myself. 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?Lol usually also myself 92. In a fight with someone?Nah93. How many sweatpants do you have?I don't even know if I own one pair of sweatpants94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?Like 1 MAYBE. 95. Last movie you watched?I Think Kiki's Delivery Service? 96. Favourite actress?Idk I don't watch things :P Maybe Tara Strong? 97. Favourite actor?Lol do those McElboys count 98. Do you tan a lot?I Am South Indian. 99. Have any pets?I have a brother? 100. How are you feeling?Yeah101. Do you type fast?On phone ye on computer not really 102. Do you regret anything from your past?Not really? 103. Can you spell well?Ye. I choose 2 be Like This. 104. Do you miss anyone from your past?Most friends from high school... Probably gonna miss more once I graduate college huh... 105. Ever been to a bonfire party?Nope :0106. Ever broken someone’s heart?Yeah. Sorry I'm an asshole sometimes, it's not intended I promise. 107. Have you ever been on a horse?No but I have been on an elephant 108. What should you be doing?Sleeping fuck109. Is something irritating you right now?Yeah the fact I stayed up to do this instead of sleep 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?Lol yeah but it's still always just a crush so You Know. 111. Do you have trust issues?Deja Vu (heart is speeding) 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?I don't really cry in front of others... I can't even remember the last time I did. 113. What was your childhood nickname?Some of my relatives used to call me Nitu-kutti114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?Ye, hell I'm in Boston right now! 115. Do you play the Wii?When I'm home but honestly n64 all the way116. Are you listening to music right now?Ye actually 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?No #vegetarian118. Do you like Chinese food?👍👍👌👌119. Favourite book?Don't really have one... 120. Are you afraid of the dark?I've got realer things to worry about these days... 121. Are you mean?I don't think so? Not intentionally at least 122. Is cheating ever okay?Lol no it's so easy to not cheat just break up with person a before going to do things with person b. 123. Can you keep white shoes clean?Lol I can't keep white anything clean124. Do you believe in love at first sight?Sure why not125. Do you believe in true love?Absolutely. Not in exclusive soul mates but definitely in love and romance. 126. Are you currently bored?I'm doing this aren't I127. What makes you happy?Podcasts, drawing, friendship, languages128. Would you change your name?Probably not, I like it but also idk what I would change it to :p129. What your zodiac sign?Aquarius ♒130. Do you like subway?I like taking The Subway. But no. 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?Probably fuck it up horribly but somehow stay ok friends after a while in the end132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?You definitely already asked me this133. Favourite lyrics right now?"Oh, it's such a long and awful lonely fallDown from this pedestal that you keep putting me onWhat if I fall on my face?What if I make a mistake?If it's okay a little grace would be appreciated" - Idle Worship - Paramore134. Can you count to one million?I guess? But I'd rather not xD135. Dumbest lie you ever told?Dunno probably when I tell people I'm on my way somewhere when in reality I haven't even gotten out of bed and then get called out for being late :PP136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?Closed137. How tall are you?6'1"138. Curly or Straight hair?Both are cute but straight probably looks better on me139. Brunette or Blonde?Either140. Summer or Winter?The opposite of what it is currently141. Night or Day?Night142. Favourite month?I love holiday season so december 143. Are you a vegetarian?👍👌✌️144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?Milk145. Tea or Coffee?Neither unless it's that good good Thai Iced Tea146. Was today a good day?Ye! 147. Mars or Snickers?Mars by a mile 148. What’s your favourite quote?Idk... I'm quite partial to "when nothing is going right, go left" 149. Do you believe in ghosts?Not really but I like the concept 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?"When they see things go well for someone else, they credit the environment: 'Joan really was lucky today; she just happened to be standing there when the boss came by, so she got all the credit for the project work.'" - The Design of Everyday Things - Don Norman

[superfitbabe]

Guess who’s arrived home in Los Angeles?! Yep, this girl right here!

Well, technically I’m behind the screen, but you get the idea. Maybe look at the logo. Yep, that’s me!

Anyways, this year has been….WOW. Let’s just put it at that. I cannot even begin to describe the whirlwind of fiascos, accomplishments, lessons, discoveries, and new adoptions that this year has given me. I think I have transformed more drastically in this year alone than in the years one to eleven. Crazy how time flies!

Just today, I made a quick plan of what’s in store for the next month, big and small. December is my favorite month out of the year because it’s the month of my birthday, Christmas, winter, and when my family and friends and I can spend the most time together! There’s so much to come and I’m thrilled for everything. Enjoy!

TENTATIVE PLANS FOR THE WEEK

WEDNESDAY (12/6/17)

This morning, my family and I woke up to a major Ventura County wildfire emergency notification from the local news broadcast. Areas of mandatory evacuation included Brentwood, Bel Air, Beverly Hills, South of Mulholland, and various boundaries of Highway 33 and Highway 150.

Luckily, the wind blew in the opposite direction from where we were, so our residence was safe from mandatory evacuation.

School for the rest of my sisters was cancelled due to wildfire complications.

I rushed to make cinnamon chia pancakes with Lakanto’s gluten free pancake mix. It’s an amazing mix that is high in fiber, probiotics, and low in carbs and sugar! I topped mine with a True Nutrition vegan salted caramel protein blend (had the rest of the protein on the side), pomegranate seeds, strawberries, a dark chocolate cherry Health Warrior chia bar, homemade muesli my sister made for me, and Lakanto monkfruit maple syrup.

My family and I ended up visiting the Westfield Topanga mall for the day and enjoying some delicious Vietnamese food! I got two orders of veggie spring rolls with tons of peanut sauce. No surprise.

We went to Home Goods to buy some Christmas presents for family and friends. I’ve officially completed my holiday shopping!

At the mall, all I bought were triple AAA batteries and some water. My family, on the other hand? Basically the entire stock of Nordstrom.

Traffic hit us HARD on the 101 S freeway for a while. We were afraid that the police blocked it off due to the early wildfire, but in reality, a car accident caused the delay.

Coming home, I found a REALLY special package waiting for me! Let’s just say there’s an exciting review in the works…

After unpacking our purchases, I was so ravenous that I whipped myself up a quick soybean soyaki noodle salad with carrots, butter lettuce, Nori, and sesame seeds. I piled on an extra head’s worth of butter lettuce and Sriracha after taking the picture!

Upon finishing the salad, I was still pretty hungry, so I made myself a large bowl of puffed kamut, Nature’s Path blueberry cinnamon flax cereal, and unsweetened almond milk. I mixed in some cinnamon and Stevia for extra flavor!

I wrapped my presents, wrote this post, and inserted the triple AAA batteries into our new Body Analyzer scale.

Last minute treat: I baked some of The Lion’s Choice snickerdoodle cookie dough! The results were fantastically delicious!

THURSDAY (12/7/17)

School’s cancelled for my sisters once again to give people time to evacuate from the wildfire.

Quick bodyweight exercise with a focus on legs.

My dad and I drove to Irwindale. Why? We visited the Huy Fong Foods Sriracha factory!

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Arrived unexpectedly early and re-organized my wardrobe.

I also tested out the Body Analyzer. It’s SO COOL!

Lunch was a swiftly put-together steamed butternut squash and pomegranate seed salad with spinach, seitan, and sweet chili sauce. I photographed my salad with coconut aminos, but sweet chili sauce ended up tasting better.

 Afterwards, I had more puffed kamut, Nature’s Path cinnamon flax, and almond milk. YUM.

More unrelated-to-school fun.

Grocery shopping with the mother!

Dinner’s probably going to be leftover broccolini, soybean noodles, soyaki, and nori.

FRIDAY (12/8/17)

Early-early in the morning, exercise for an hour and a half to my favorite music and YouTube videos.

Get ready for the day while listening to different versions of the “Happy Birthday” song.

Bake a pound and a half of Japanese sweet potatoes, mash them in a bowl with maca powder and cinnamon, form a one-ingredient cake, and top it with sunflower seed butter, cocoa fig jam, and a caramel sea salt Health Warrior chia bar. Oh yeah, and some birthday candles (hopefully).

Eat that alongside some soyaki-marinated seitan (homemade recipe), a peanut butter and jelly Bobo’s Oat Bar, some vegan chocolate truffles I received from my roommate, and an entire jar of The Lion’s Pack iced gingerbread vegan edible cookie dough. Part of a complete breakfast.

Ride our indoor Spin bike while watching my favorite YouTube videos or Netflix movies. I was originally going to hike around Santa Monica, but the wind has blown in so many ashes and dust from the wildfires that the air is too unhealthy to consume.

Meet up with one of my best friends at 11:00 A.M. for some vegan donuts at Donut Friend and lunch at Sage Vegan Bistro!

Planned order at Donut Friend: Drive Like Jelly, Husker Blu, and a DIY gluten free donut filled with cookie butter, topped with maple syrup, graham cracker crumbs, and pistachios

Planned order at Sage Bistro: fried plantains with maple syrup and the 8-Wing Platter made of battered cauliflower in buffalo sauce, barbecue sauce, and sweet and sour sauce with celery, carrots, and vegan ranch. AAAAAAAND possible a vegan dessert to take home…

Come home to meet with my family after my sisters finish school (if it’s not cancelled again). This is also the time when I will probably open presents, if I do not open any presents prior to lunch.

Enjoy a healthy Vietnamese dinner before tucking into sixteen or thirty-two ounces worth of dairy free Carbolite and three giant scoops of vegan birthday cake, snickerdoodle, and peanut butter or brownie cookie dough.

If I’m not hungover from food already, I’ll bake vegan brownies. YUM.

Die from a food coma and NOT go on the scale the next morning.

SATURDAY (12/9/17)

Start the day off right with some extra pumped exercise from heaps of glycogen stores.

Open Christmas presents with my family and bask in the glory of being an amazing gift-giver or crawl into a hole of shame for being awful at it.

Meet with my cousin and his girlfriend and spend the day together, possibly around Sawtelle.

Arrive home late after an exhausting day of fun!

TRAVEL PLANS

Get your Konnichiwa on, because we’re flying to Japan on December 21st! You have NO IDEA how excited I am for this trip. Since turning 13, I have always adored Japanese culture, food, fashion, media, and general social and philosophical principles. Anime used to be my water and air, so it will be interesting re-watching some old favorites to learn some Japanese! Our specific destinations are Tokyo and Kyoto. Oh yes, Japanese sweet potatoes and kabocha squash will probably be ABUNDANT. I am absolutely stoked to also look at art museums, gardens, and even some traditional Japanese theater!

DIET UPDATE

In all honesty, my diet is not going to change almost at all over winter break. Sure, I will eat out more and indulge quite a bit when I go to Japan, but my eating habits will remain fluid throughout the break. I might emphasize a bit more on fruits and vegetables while I’m back home since I never really ate fruit in school. I still allot one day out of the week to enjoy one or two cheat meals, and maybe try out some new products and recipes.

FITNESS ROUTINE

Just two weeks ago, I started incorporating some more high-intensity training and strength training into my exercise regimen. However, instead of an hour and a half (sometimes even more) of exercise, I only train for an hour TOTAL. I have never realized that I have saved SO much time by reducing my time in the gym! Boy, do I miss the gym. I really do.

If you’re wondering whether this will affect my menstrual cycle or not, it might, but I have been experiencing more issues with my cycle. It’s gotten to the point where I may have to look into birth control. And I’m not looking forward to it. Sigh.

WINTER BREAK BUCKET LIST

Try all of the dairy free Halo Top flavors.

Hike all the way to Santa Monica.

Bake black bean brownies.

Choreograph some dances to my favorite songs.

Finish my blog’s secret project.

Solidify a proper plan for balancing out my hormones and cycle.

Master the Alphabet Aerobics song.

Sing on my YouTube channel or Instagram.

Publish my next Friday Friend Features by January 5th.

Learn basic Japanese greetings and social phrases.

  Plans for Winter Break: Travel, Diet, Exercise + Lifestyle Guess who's arrived home in Los Angeles?! Yep, this girl right here! Well, technically I'm behind the screen, but you get the idea.

[theglobediary]

If you had been following us on Instagram, you would have seen that several things went wrong on our visit to Greece. In fact, some things went wrong before we had even arrived in Greece! Usually, we aren’t so unlucky when travelling. But beyond all the unfortunate events, there were some incredible, out-of-this-world moments that I am so glad Craig and I got to experience along with friends! Here’s a recap of our best as well as our least favourite moments of the trip:

Best Moments:

#6: A Rooftop Dinner at the New Hotel in Athens

We only had a few hours in Athens (before leaving for Santorini the next morning) so we had planned and reserved a table for dinner at an amazing restaurant with all our friends. Our flight delays (cue #1 worst moment) and luggage troubles meant that we had to miss that and instead grab a very late dinner at our hotel. Lucky for us, our hotel happened to have a pretty great view. We stayed at the New Hotel, and ate at the rooftop bar which boasts panoramic views of the city and of the Acropolis too. That plus incredibly accommodating staff, who found me the biggest bowl of gluten-free pasta, plus a strong cocktail, made our first official few hours on holiday, SO much better.

A post shared by YesHotelsGroup (@yeshotelsgroup) on May 24, 2017 at 2:31am PDT

#5: Sunsets in Santorini

It’s pretty much on every to-do list you’ll find on Santorini, the sunsets are a must-see! I can’t imagine anyone not loving these views. They are the most incredible I have ever seen! You’ll know, if you’ve read our Santorini Travel Diary (or my annoying Instagram posts) that everyday, like clockwork, I was out there snapping away at the sun setting. While I didn’t get to see it from Oia, our villa happened to be a perfect spot along the caldera to view it — minus all the crowds. So remember for your next visit, Imerogivili is a pretty good sunset viewing spot too.

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#4: A Day Exploring the Islands in Lefkada

I stupidly did not bring my camera for this. Silly Leigh. I wasn’t sure what we were in for and I pictured both my camera and cellphone hitting the bottom of the ocean with no possibility of replacement in the near future — because you know, travel = life = no money for anything else. Steve, our host from our villa, offered to take us out on a boat for the day to visit Meganisi and Skorpios islands — and I am so glad we took him up on his offer! Besides getting to see the nearby islands, we got to snorkel into a bat cave, grab a local lunch plus get up close with an octapus.

#3: Snagging the Perfect Villa in Lefkada

This villa is pretty much the reason four couples found themselves in Greece together in the first place. It inspired the whole holiday and thank goodness for that. It had a huge kitchen with an outside barbeque area so we could cook our meals and those dinners in were some of my favourite times on the vacation. I know it must seem like Craig and I travel to eat — and we do — but it’s also nice to have home-cooked meals especially when you’re away from home for so long (And I was getting a bit tired of Greek salads).

#2: Seeing the most beautiful beach, Port Katsiki:

I don’t think I’ve ever seen water quite like this. Beautifully turquoise and easily the most photogenic beach I’ve ever seen, it also gets extremely busy. Nonetheless, we managed to grab a couple of empty chairs and get in some good tanning time before returning back to our villa. But note to self, in future I will get waterproof flip flops (shoes) to go into the sea with — those pebbles are killer under your feet!

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#1: Lunch at Amoudi Bay After Exploring Oia

Oia can get a bit much when the tourists flock in and the sun beats down on the marble pathways only to beat up at you again. After exploring for only an hour or two, we were all ready to either retire to the villa or hit a seafood lunch down at Amoudi Bay, which is even frequented and recommended by locals! As you will have read in the travel diary, the 230 steps down to the Bay is no joke. BUT it is SO worth it. We had the freshest seafood, with some of my favourite Greek starter dishes, it was definitely one of my favourite meals in Greece.

Check out our Photo Diary on Exploring Oia.

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Worst (or Least Favourite) Moments:

#2: Driving with the Greeks

You know, you have to be pretty brave to drive in South Africa, so I have a pretty high tolerance for crazy drivers and chaotic roads. That said, the Greeks take it to a whole new level. From our first taxi ride from the airport to our hotel in Athens, to us hiring our own van to drive to Lefkada in, I pretty much thought we were going to die every second that we were on the roads. Particularly nerve-racking is the drive from Nidri over the mountain to Port Katsiki, along the most narrow, windy roads I’ve ever seen. Although it is pretty much necessary to drive on that island, driving can be super stressful on holidays. Hence why Craig and I get walking-injuries — rather that than getting in a major car accident!

#1: Flight Delays and Luggage

Look, flight delays happen. They are unavoidable. That said, we experience a higher likelihood of delays every time we fly with this particular airline (which shall be left unnamed for the meantime), in addition to bad service, lack of communication and no effort to make up for their lack of service. So while we accept the waiting in airports and eating up chunks of our holiday is sadly a risk one has to undertake when flying with them, we would at least expect better service. I, for one, understand how easy it is to drop the ball, especially in a big company, but I do believe that it is the company’s responsibility to make it up to their customers afterwards. And it’s that kind of service afterwards that makes customer’s coming back. But I am going to reserve judgment till I receive a reply.

I’d love to hear what you guys think about particular airlines and bad service. Is it something that you take into consideration when booking flights or does the price win over everything?

Update:

I am currently in Durban, South Africa, visiting my mom who is still recovering from a mild stroke. The weather has been miserable and I haven’t been able to do much blogging or exploring while I’ve been here so far. BUT I’m hoping to get out this week to show off my hometown to you guys a bit more. Keep a look out on our Instagram Stories!

~ Leigh

You Might Also Like:

Our Travel Diary from Santorini

Our Travel Story So Far

PIN THIS FOR LATER

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My Best & Worst Moments in Greece If you had been following us on Instagram, you would have seen that several things went wrong on our visit to Greece.

[lovemesomesurveys]

FOOD SURVEY

1. What’s the last thing you ate? Ramen.

2. What’s your favourite cheese? I love many different kinds of cheese. Cheese makes everything better.

3. What’s your favourite fish? I don’t have one.

4. What’s your favourite fruit? Banana.

5. When, if ever, did you start liking olives? I don’t know when exactly, but I’ve liked black olives for as long as I can remember. I’ve never liked green olives.

6. When, if ever, did you start liking beer? I never liked beer.

7. When, if ever, did you start liking shellfish? Never. 

8. What was the best thing your mum/dad/guardian used to make? Not used to, they still do cook delicious meals. A few of my faves are my mom’s lasagna, meatballs, and tacos and my dad’s spaghetti and scrambled eggs. Also, I’m not a big burger person and I don’t like steak or porkchops, but the rest of my family loves when my dad makes those things. 

9. What’s the native specialty of your hometown? Probably Mexican food.

10. What’s your comfort food? Ramen.

11. What’s your favourite type of chocolate? Milk and white chocolate. 

12. How do you like your steak? I don’t.

13. How do you like your burger? Not a big burger person, but if I eat one it’s gotta be well done. I don’t want any red in my meat. *gag*

14. How do you like your eggs? Scrambled, sunny-side up, hardboiled, deviled... I love eggs.

15. How do you like your potatoes? Like every way they come, ha. I also love potatoes. 

16. How do you take your coffee? With flavored cream or cream and sugar.

17. How do you take your tea? With a packet of sweetener. 

18. What’s your favourite mug? It’s blue on the outside and yellow on the inside with Peter Pan and the gang on it. 

19. What’s your biscuit or cookie of choice? Sugar cookies or shortbread.

20. What’s your ideal breakfast? Scrambled eggs with shredded cheese and spinach, country gravy, hash browns, and coffee.

21. What’s your ideal sandwich? Either bologna and sharp cheddar or colby jack cheese, mustard, and mayo or turkey, salami, either of those cheeses, spinach, mayo, and mustard. Also, a pickle on the side and some olive oil for dipping. I miss a good deli sandwich, though. That sounds really good.

22. What’s your ideal pizza: White sauce, feta and ricotta cheese, spinach, garlic, and crumbled meatballs with pesto on top and ranch for dipping.

23. What’s your ideal pie (sweet or savoury)? The only pie I like is cheesecake.

24. What’s your ideal salad? Lettuce, spinach, tomatoes, black olives, shredded cheese, shredded carrots, pieces of hardboiled egg, and ranch. I used to love peppercinis as well, but I can’t eat spicy stuff anymore. :(

25. What food do you always like to have in the fridge? I like to have some kind of sandwich fixins so that I can always make a lunch. <<< Same. And eggs. And shredded cheese cause I like to add it to my ramen.

26. What food do you always like to have in the freezer? Healthy Choice steamers pesto pasta meal things, pizza, and Smart Ones breakfast meals.

27. What food do you always like to have in the cupboard? Ramen. 

28. What spices can you not live without? Garlic, salt, black pepper, oregano, basil, chives, paprika (a must for deviled eggs). 

29. What sauces can you not live without? Ranch, olive oil, pesto, marinara, white sauce, mayo, sour cream, gravy, sausage gravy...  I don’t know for sure if a few of those fall under the sauce category, but whatever.

30. Where do you buy most of your food? Walmart and another local grocery store.

31. How often do you go food shopping? We do two big grocery shopping trips a month with a few quick trips in between if we need something.

33. What’s the most expensive piece of kitchen equipment you own? The fridge, probably.

34. What’s the last piece of equipment you bought for your kitchen? Hmm. I think it was the home beer dispenser my brother and I got my dad for Christmas. 

35. What piece of kitchen equipment could you not live without? Keurig, fridge, stove, and microwave.

36. How many times a week/month do you cook from raw ingredients? I never do. I’m not a cook at all, the only things I make are microwavable, cooked in the oven (frozen foods like pizzas), or made on the stovetop (ramen).

37. What’s the last thing you cooked from raw ingredients? Wait, unless you count making hardboiled eggs for deviled eggs. If so, then there’s that. However, that just consists of me putting the eggs in a hardboiled egg cooker thing. I don’t have do much, ha.

38. What meats have you eaten besides cow, pig and poultry? That’s the only kind I eat. 

39. What’s the last time you ate something that had fallen on the floor? I don’t do that ever. If it falls on the ground, it’s trash now to me.

40. What’s the last time you ate something you’d picked in the wild? I’ve never done that.

41. Arrange the following in order of preference: Italian, Mexican, Chinese, Indian, Thai, Sushi – Italian, Mexican, Chinese. I don’t eat Indian, Thai, or sushi.

42. Arrange the following in order of preference: Vodka, Whiskey, Brandy, Rum – I don’t drink.

43. Arrange the following in order of preference: Garlic, Basil, Caramel, Lime, Mint, Ginger, Aniseed – Garlic, basil, mint, caramel, ginger, lime. Not sure what aniseed is.

44. Arrange the following in order of preference: Pineapple, Orange, Apple, Strawberry, Cherry, Watermelon, Banana. – Banana, strawberry, watermelon, apple. I don’t like orange, pineapple, or cherry.

45. Bread and spread: Wheat, white, sourdough, bagels. Pesto, olive oil, peanut butter, mayo, garlic spread, cream cheese. 

46. What’s your fast food restaurant of choice, and what do you usually order? I don’t have one anymore. 

47. Pick a city. What are the best dining experiences you’ve had in that city? Bubba Gump restaurant is fun place with good food.

48. What’s your choice of tipple at the end of a long day? I don’t drink.

49. What’s the next thing you’ll eat? I’m not sure.

50. Are you hungry now? A little bit. 

51. Do you eat your breakfast everyday? I rarely do now. I was doing pretty good for awhile, but then I started sleeping in past 2PM and having late lunch. 

52. At what time do you have breakfast? If I do eat breakfast food nowadays, it’s for dinner.

53. At what time do you have lunch? Like 4 or 5PM.

54. What do you have for lunch? Usually either a sandwich or a Healthy Choice steamers microwave thingy.

55. At what time do you have dinner? Around 8PM.

56. What do you have for dinner? I have a small list of foods I eat cause I’m picky and have food/appetite issues, but I’ll have something like spaghetti and meatballs, burritos/tacos, breakfast for dinner, or takeout like Wingstop or pizza. Sometimes I’ll just have another sandwich.

57. Do you light candles during dinner? No.

58. How many chairs are there in your dining room and who sits in the main chair? We don’t have a dining table or even a dining room anymore. We had to turn that space into a bedroom.

59. Do you eat and drink using your right hand or the left one? Right.

61. Mention the veggies that you like most: Spinach, broccoli, green beans, and corn.

62. What fruit and vegetable do you like the least? I don’t eat a lot of fruits or veggies to be perfectly honest. As bad as it sounds, I haven’t had any fruit the past few years. Spinach is the only veggie I have somewhat often. And like I mentioned in this survey, there are fruits and veggies that I like, I just don’t eat them often.

63. You like your fruit salad to have more: I don’t like fruit salad.

64. You prefer your vegetable salad to contain more: Spinach.

65. What’s your favourite sandwich spread? Mayo, pesto, or an olive oil/vinegar mix.

66. What’s your favourite chocolate bar? Reese’s white chocolate. 

67. What’s your favourite dessert? Brownies, cupcakes, cheesecake, muffins, donuts. 

68. What’s your favourite drink? Coffee and Starbucks Doubleshot energy drinks (that’s coffee, too, but still it’s different).

69. What’s your favourite snack? Movie theater popcorn.

70. What’s your favourite bubble gum flavour? Minty flavors.

71. What’s your favourite ice cream flavour? Strawberry.

72. What’s your favourite potato chip flavour? Sour cream and onion and original Ruffles with ranch dip.

73. What’s your favourite soup? Pork ramen.

74. What’s your favourite pizza? Didn’t I describe that already?

75. What’s your favourite type of dish? Just give me boneless garlic parm and lemon pepper wings from Wingstop, please.

76. What food do you hate? Seafood.

77. What’s your favourite restaurant? Wingstop.

78. Do you eat homemade food, or food delivered from outside? Both.  

80. Who cooks at home? My parents and brother.

81. What kind of diet (e.g. low-fat, high-fiber, high-carbohydrate, balanced diet etc.) do you have? I’m supposed to incorporate a lot of protein.

82. How do you keep yourself fit? I don’t do anything.