#and i cant stop listening

[monakisss]

tower princes doodles i made when i was reading nona the ninth (a few of them were wips but they're all abandoned at this point)

leaving an ianthe under the cut bc i'm not sure if it counts as suggestive or not 😭 cw ianthe tridentarius??

[inkz123]

Error awooga time Error awooga time Error awooga time-

[inkskinned]

i keep thinking about hobbies and how i often spill over myself to pick up new ones. i have adhd, i end up trying something for like a month and then just getting far enough in it that i move on, satisfied.

and that should be fine; but it's never fine.

i am a pretty decent artist; but i can't just make art for my dnd campaign, i should be selling dnd maps and character designs and scene setting pieces. i can't just make my friends matching earrings, i need to get an etsy and ship them internationally and take bulk orders. i make pretty good props and decorations and use them to throw my friends parties - but i should be running a party planning business and start taking paying clients and networking and putting my skills to actual use.

for some reason, i never figured out the specifics of pottery. it was a fun class and i enjoyed myself - and still, i'm embarrassed, years later, that i put in all that useless effort. everything i make has to be stunning. stellar. i should have applied myself more. maybe i'm too lazy. maybe i'm broken and selfish and needy. actually creative people would have kept going; they would be bettering themselves at every possible opportunity.

we find ourselves in this trap, even accidentally: we need to commodify our time, because it is a commodity. if we spend our efforts and our time not earning, isn't that the same thing as burning free money? and god forbid you ever take up a hobby that ends up being more expensive than you thought. you sit in your car and you look at the receipt and in your head you hear a conversation that isn't even happening - your mom or your friend or your partner all saying oh great. not this shit again. it's always something with you, and it never actually means anything.

i have realized this horrible thing, recently - i'll get excited to start a project, pick up a new hobby. and then i just... stop myself. i start thinking about the amount of time it will take, and how it'll look in my monthly budget. what if i can't even produce a good enough final product. sure, it's exciting to think about how i could make my friend her own custom dice. but i'm just polluting the earth if i don't get it right. better not bother. better not try.

restless, i get caught in the negative space. the feeling that oh god, i want to create. and that horrible sense - yeah, but i don't have the time to just put to waste.

[reineydraws]

saw those gifs of sj ward being cute and laughing in full mihawk costume and thought, "body swap mishanks au" and then @eastbluesaga humoured me about it so now there are doodles 🥲💖

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

i know they never met please just hear me out

[themaarika]

all of the dream how does it mean life, it never die women are my favorite guy

[whisper-and-tangle]

life, it never die

[opikiquu]

these 2 gonna drive me insane

[spengsart]

hello ghost fans i understand now

[pinetreespants]

baaah's in sad

[naughtystiel]

show me where the delicate stops and take a bite

[bia-bonne]

When I saw Shinjiro with Fuuka on his shoulder I dropped EVERYTHING to draw them.

Maybe I'll re-do this doodle and make it better, drawing Fuuka is fun.

[figmasefield]

I don't believe in God but I believe you are my savior

Yuri for the soul

[youaremydearestdream]

the outsiders musical rant !! sorry if this doesn’t make sense, i just had to get it out there !

i find it interesting that despite being the main character of the outsiders musical, ponyboy does a lot of harmonizing with others instead of just taking the melody

he takes the melody when he’s narrating,, especially about his problems (tulsa ‘67, his solo parts in i could talk to you all night and far away from tulsa, etc.) but when he sings with other people, he is normally heard harmonizing

he opts up in grease got a hold and great expectations, leaving everyone else behind as they sing the melody. this shows his yearning for a life outside of tulsa, and a life outside of his problems. he takes the lower harmony in i could talk to you all night with cherry, and the highest harmony in throwing in the towel. he is always consumed by the need to get away.

cherry keeps him grounded. he can relate and connect with her, but it’s not enough. meanwhile, pony is disconnected from his brothers, but with darry most of all (darry sings the lower harmony, musically the furthest away from pony) while soda is the connector between the two, which is why soda is the one who takes the melody during the chorus of throwing in the towel when all three brothers sing together— soda is literally in the middle of them, stuck between a rock (darry) and and hard place (pony)

ponyboy is almost always harmonizing with everyone, except for when he’s with johnny. johnny is who he sings of running away with. by killing bob (in self defense!!) johnny is the one who makes running away a reality, which is why it’s fitting that johnny is the one takes the harmony when he sings with ponyboy in far away from tulsa and death’s at my door. he’s the one that pony feels the most safe and comfortable to be himself around because pony knows that johnny always understands him.

it’s only until after johnny dies that pony begins harmonizing with him instead, jumping between low and high harmonies during stay gold. this shows how affected he is by johnnys death— his harmonies are as “unstable” as he is. he finally comes back to the melody when he sings the last line of the song by himself, internalizing johnny’s message: to stay gold, to be himself, and to learn that there are so many more reasons to why life is worth living.

during the finale, he lets darry and sodapop read out the narration, showing that he has successfully mended the gap between him and darry. he sticks to the melody throughout the entire song. he no longer opts up like he did in the beginning because he has realized that running away from his problems (and running away from the melody) cannot solve anything. by the end of the outsiders musical, ponyboy has finally grown into his own skin and is no longer ashamed of where he comes from.

[vannahrt]

DID YOU FORGET THAT HELLISFOREVER!!!!

Bonus:

[heynhay]

will you break and take all the words from my mouth?