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#and i don’t jst mean that for me. for everyone who had present-but-not parents
sadlazzle · 7 months
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sometimes i rlly wanna ask my mother if she thinks my hearing is as bad as hers bc i KNOW she is not saying half the shit she does knowing i can hear every fucking word
#it’s the little things especially. little comments that usually one says under their breath#or at least makes an attempt to keep to themselves#your general disdain to my existence in your presence does not go un fucking noticed#u know what jst made everything abt it all soooo much worse too ?#the other day i was talking w my dad abt it (bc he’s the only one who knows what mother is like)#and he said to me that after they lost my brother she wanted another child. she wanted me. worst part about that ? i was surprised#bc she has never treated me as if i was wanted. never#she was physically there for my childhood but she didn’t spend time w me and was emotionally distant#and i’ll b completely honest with you. her just being ‘there’ was not enough. a parent just being ‘there’ is not fucking good enough#and i don’t jst mean that for me. for everyone who had present-but-not parents#they didn’t raise us. they didn’t spend time with us. they didn’t treat us as anything but a chore in reality even if we didn’t see it then.#but they were ‘there’ so it’s fine apparently. i say fuck that#id rather she not have been there at all than go thru what she put me thru for years and years#absence probably would have hurt too. but there’s no way it could hurt as much as all she’s done#sorry abt the rant in the tags. i only recently in th last yr reached a point where i began to truly realise these things#but i will keep on ranting here. i cant get out of my current situation rn so letting it off my chest here is the only option#keeps me somewhat sane. so u cunts(affectionate) better deal w it !!!!!!!!!#plum.txt#feel free 2 ignore#dl
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sunshinesukuna · 4 years
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king of the arcade
♕ pairing: arcader! kageyama tobio x reader
♕ genre: fluff
♕ inspiration: this playlist my friend recommended (pleaseee listen to it while reading, it is a whole vibe!) reply 1988 (dir. Shin Wonho), an old letterman jacket my friend found in the back of his closet that had karasuno's exact colours it made me want to cry.
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Miyagi, 14.34 JST (+9) Some time during 1984,
“Eh? He isn’t home?” 
“Yeah. He’s probably at the arcade,” Miwa said. She shrugged, like this was a daily occurrence —which it was— and paid no mind to her little brother’s business unless he was getting hurt.
Although you had anticipated that he would be out of the house, you couldn’t help but be a little disappointed. Your house was the way to the arcade, and he couldn’t have stopped by just to say hi or to bring you along? And what was he doing at the arcade already at this time of day. While everyone was frolicking at the beach or visiting relatives who-knows-where, your boyfriend was already wasting his coins at the arcade.
You wouldn’t call it wasting, per se, but… okay, he was throwing his money down the drain on what? High scores on arcade games that would eventually break down, leaving no memory of the tears and sweat shed over them? Please. It wasn’t like you were against it or anything, but you really wished he would take some time to take care after you, his girlfriend. 
After saying a quick thank you to his older sister, you sped off. You didn’t stop until you saw the big blue sign saying ‘SAKANOSHITA’S’ over the brick building. A bell tinkled above head as you opened the door. 
You had to squint so your eyes could adjust to the light, but the flashing of arcade games did little to help. The familiar sounds of Pacman, Galaga, Defender, and Mario Bros blared loudly over the entire arcade. You paid them no mind as a random song from played in your earphones.
Even with the earphones in your ears, you could hear him from here. You should be close. 
Kageyama Tobio is leaned over a bright blue arcade game. It’s his favorite, and the one he’s best at: Donkey Kong. His navy letterman jacket is tied around his waist, but you can still make out the faded orange KARASUNO VBC on the back.
“WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?” he screeched. This boy really did not grasp the concept of ‘inside voice,’ huh?
“It was a fluke! I just hadn’t popped my fingers before!” another familiar voice replied in shrill vexation. Kageyama scoffed.
“Yeah, right.” 
A nest of olive hair playing Pac-Man next to a blond glanced at the situation. You sauntered up to him and patted him on the shoulder, effectively causing him to jump up a little. The pinch server was always easily surprised.
“What’s he screaming about this time, Yamaguchi-kun?” you asked. 
“(Y/N)!” Yamaguchi rubbed the back of his neck. “Ah, he was about to beat his old high score, but then he needed to go to the toilet. He didn’t want to end the game, so he asked Hinata to cover him and...” He gestured to the fight unfolding in front of you two. You rolled your eyes. Typical Kageyama.
“You get the idea.”
Without looking up from his ongoing game of Tetris, Tsukishima said, “Do something about it, will you?” He twirled his finger around his ear. “He’s being too loud.”
The four boys were a motley pack of what could be called ‘friends’ from their shared passion of volleyball and arcade hopping. Wherever one was, the other three were sure to be trailing behind. As was the case right now.
You leaned back on an unused arcade game. “Oh really?” you asked. It amused you every time you pushed at Tsukishima’s buttons, and you were in sore need of cheering up today. You raised your eyebrows, challenging him to come at you with a rebuttal. “Look at you, ordering people around like some sort of prince.” 
To add emphasis, you rolled your eyes. The GAME OVER screen turned on with a slap of the button. Tsukishima glared at you through his oversized glasses. They shimmered along with the flickering lights from the other games. 
“Hey,” he said warningly. Tsukishima’s tone was as usual whenever you played your jokes with him. Behind the glasses, his eyes were as hard as rocks as he looked into you. Five seconds, ten... he blinked. You laughed animatedly at him, but relented once he pulled his hand back, in mock threatening.
“Okay, okay, I’m on my way...” you said. You gave him the side-eye. “Sheesh.” Finally doing what you had been meaning to do for the whole day, you embarked on your mission.
Kageyama was in the middle of starting a new game when you launched your trap. His fingers stroked over the controls innocently enough —unlike the tips of yours, that were slowly making their way around his hardened stomach. He jerked back at your touch, but you felt his body uncoiling a bit at your face. 
“Wha— ah, (Y/N).” You unknotted the letterman jacket from around his waist. Pulling it over your own shoulders, you rested your chin on his much higher shoulder.
“Don’t mind me, go on.” The muscles under your fingers tensed a bit as they prepared for a new game. Since the school you two went to didn’t have an arcading club, he had joined the next best thing. Volleyball. Combined with the wonders of puberty, he had grown into the tall, rather sullen man in your arms right now. 
To your surprise, the dark red GAME OVER signs flashed over the screen all too quickly. Normally, he could last much longer than the amateur arcade player, but today, he seemed a little off his game. 
“What happened, Tobio?” you asked. He turned over to face you, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down from the amount of physical contact he was getting right now. And in public!
“Let me teach you,” he suddenly said. 
“What?”
Using his much bigger frame and physical strength, he switched your positions. The sharp edge of Donkey Kong was now pressing into your lower stomach, as Kageyama captivated  you between his arms. 
His fingers brushed against yours, breath lingering at your thighs for a while as he inserted the coin in the slot. They moved over your fingers, that were situated on top of the buttons and joystick. 
The thundering of the giant gorillas footsteps let you know the game was going to start. As Mario appeared, Kageyama’s fingers on top of your pressed into your nails. His gamer instincts were sharpening. How could they not? When the beeps that accompanied Mario became his own little battle cries, and the princess trapped at the top his new charge. 
“Press faster,” he muttered. You were pressing as fast as you could, but Kageyama’s fingers above you egged at you to go faster. The more and more you played, the more frustrated Kageyama seemed to be getting. His constant critiques on your gameplay, despite knowing that you were an amateur, were getting to your head. 
Needless to say, the game ended quickly. Kageyama sighed in your hair. It would be sexy, if you weren’t about to go over the edge by him first ignoring you the whole day, and then this? You turned over and looked into his eyes. 
Kageyama opened his mouth to say something, but you beat him to it.“I’m not you, Tobio. I haven’t spent approximately an eighth of my life in arcades, so please excuse my inexperience.” 
He knitted his eyebrows together, the expression not far from his usual scowl. But his mouth softened at the edges as he pouted. 
“I was going to say sorry for that….” His tone was that of a six-year-old that had been caught stealing cookies from the jar. The Galaga game off to the side was very interesting as you realised what he was implying. “But if it bothers you that much, we can go get ice cream or something else instead?” 
His sudden confession had made you want to eat up your prior words. Instead, you parted your lips and broke off eye contact. Kageyama? Finally letting someone else take the reins? From all the stories you’d heard from Hinata, Tsukishima,Yamaguchi, and Miwa, this looked to be a pretty big stepping stone for someone like him. 
“It’s okay, actually,” you finally said. You turned back to the game and slid one of your own coins inside the slot. “What did you say about pressing faster again?” 
Kageyama held your hands and fingers with the same tenderness as he would a volleyball. The hold that said ‘I’m going to love and cherish you, but I’m also going to push you to your limits.’ In a good way, of course. He smiled at you. Coming from someone like him, it took everything for your heart not to melt right then and there. You saved the memory in case you needed it again.
His exasperated tone had switched to a more patronizing one, like a parent teaching a child how to ride a bike for the first time. The occasional ‘Jump!’s and ‘There’s a barrel right there!’ were accompanied by his firm pressing every time your fingers wouldn’t bend to your will. His fingers truly were a godsend, you thought.
A boy, a tangerine, and a salt shaker passed by in the middle of your game. “Oh? Where did the King of Donkey Kong go?” Tsukishima asked. His use of Kageyama’s nickname in the streets earned him a dirty glare from your boyfriend. 
“Yeah, Kageyama,” Hinata added. “Why can’t you be like that to everyone?” Kageyama scoffed. He guided the Mario on the screen, saving him from an incoming barrel that you didn’t catch sight of. 
“Because she’s my girlfriend,” he says, his trademark scowl making an appearance again. His smile’s fifteen minutes of fame were up, the limelight now shining back to his ever present scowl. 
The group of other boys snicker as they make their way to their intended games. Kageyama’s breath on your neck now feels more relaxed as he plays with you. You 
“What was that all about?” you asked, when the game was finally over. 
“Nothing.” He doesn’t seem to give it much thought as he laces his pinky in yours, the gesture sweet and unique to Kageyama.
“You sure?” 
Kageyama looks to the floor. There was a spot of mud on his Converse, probably from those rascals earlier that morning when he had tried to go get a gift for you earlier this morning. Even more was probably stained on his jeans. Thank goodness you didn’t look out your window when the tragedy happened. He remembered not wanting to show up to your house looking so soiled, so he took refuge at his usual place: the arcade.
If only you could see that his letterman jacket was two sizes two small and had ‘SHOYO’ on the tag, he would have—
“If I had to tell everyone why I love you,” he blurted out. He trains his eyes on the grey tiles beneath again. “I would talk myself hoarse at the end of the day, (Y/N).” 
You smiled at his words, catching sight of his mud-stained jeans, a still pristine ring box peeking out of the pockets.
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frywen-babbles · 5 years
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Sounds of Silence pt1
A/N: Modern AU with Mitsunari! This is loosely tied to Everything comes with a price, set over a year after it. Unlike before, there won’t be a set release schedule bc this fic isn’t completely finished yet. (I just need some validation and motivation oTL). A big thank you to @dear-mrs-otome for telling me this idea doesn’t completely suck <3
Also spoilers for Mitsunari’s route!
When he opened the door all he could do was stare.
Behind it stood a young woman. And not just any young woman but the one he had seen at the library countless times reading books to kids in sign language. The woman he secretly always hoped he’d see when he went to the library, whose smile he couldn’t stop thinking about.
***
At first, Mitsunari was annoyed by the voices coming somewhere out of sight. Libraries were supposed to be where you could study in peace, he had no idea what could cause such a ruckus.
The sound of laughter guided him to the children’s section of the library, but what he saw wasn’t what he expected.
A young woman was standing in front of a group of kids, a book open in front of her, animatedly reading the book in sign language. The kids were excited, laughing and giggling at the what he assumed were the exciting parts of the story.
Mitsunari felt enamoured, his annoyance long forgotten. He didn’t even realise he had stared until the story was over and all the kids were circling her, trying to talk to her all at once. Her smile brightened her face and she looked so natural and happy amongst the kids Mitsunari felt almost jealous.
Just then, she caught him staring. He felt his face heat up and he turned around sharply, stomping back to the table he had reserved for himself. He planted his face firmly on the book open in front of him.
Gods, that was embarrassing. Who goes around staring random women, when they were supposed to study. Ughh…
*****
He saw her walk towards the children's section from the corner of his eye and somehow his head turned to look after her. She stopped to wait for a boy in his teens to bounce all excited to her a book in his hands. They shared a greeting but Mitsunari couldn't follow the signs they spoke with. It didn't stop him from staring after them when they continued on their way towards the room where he had seen her read to the kids.  
"Hey, are you even listening to me?"
Mitsunari turned to look at Sakon who looked at him a wide smile on his face.
"Or are you too busy staring after women to tutor me?"
"If you have time to lazy around and comment on everything I do, you must be ready for a quiz about all the important battles post-Honno-ji?"
"Ack! No! Don't you have any mercy, we just went through them 30 minutes ago?"
"Then what are you doing fooling around, you incorrigible dimwit. Get back to studying."
"I'm sure no one would have made me work this hard in the Sengoku period..." Sakon mumbled with a sigh.
"What was that?"
"I'm studying!"
When he was finally free of Sakon, he made his way to the children's section. But it was quiet, the children long gone. He was just about to turn around when he noticed a schedule on the wall. She would be back in an hour.
He could wait for that long.
Wait, maybe he shouldn't? Would that be weird? But he really did want to see her read again.  
He didn't see her until he got up to get some coffee from a vending machine. She was sitting on the sofas next to it with the same boy as before, lost in an animated discussion he could only guess the topic off.
A part of him wanted to loiter so he could watch them talk, but the reasonable part of his brain forced him to return to his table.
As soon as he saw her followed by the silver-haired boy he stuffed his things to his bag and stood up to follow her. A group of excited kids were already waiting for her but he stayed behind until everyone had sat down. Then he stepped behind the parents by the door, his eyes following the movements of her hands taking in every sign.
Unlike before, this time when she was finished she kept glancing at the clock and hurried away as soon as possible, almost colliding with him. The silver-haired boy tried to stop her but after some hurried signs let her go. The look on the boys face looked a bit like a lost puppy and for some reason seeing her hurry away like that made Mitsunari feel a bit same.
He was brushing his teeth in the evening when he felt the buzz of his phone in his pocket.
[23:12:45] <<bookshy>> do u evr feel like ur stuck in ur life? [23:12:52] <<bookshy>> like u shld hve accomplishd so much mor in ur life tn u hve?
He stared at the screen for a while before he typed a reply. He didn't know who bookshy was, not really. They had been talking with each other for years, but always with nicknames, always through messages in the internet. It felt more comfortable that way somehow. Knowing there was always a person willing to listen to you without judging.
[23:13:05] <<ManjuDreamer>> Are you feeling like that right now? [23:13:07] <<bookshy>> ya [23:13:11] <<bookshy>> i dunno wht ill do w/ my life [23:13:19] <<bookshy>> i thght id do so mch more u know? [23:13:22] <<bookshy>> and now i jst feel liek im stuck nd see no way out [23:13:23] <<bookshy>> is ths my life now? [23:14:50] <<bookshy>> evry1 says i shld b happy w/ wht i hve [23:14:59] <<bookshy>> i hve so much im feeling ungrateful whn i feel like ths [24:15:46] <<ManjuDreamer>> You still have plenty of time to accomplish your dreams. It's not for others to decide when you can be happy. [23:16:02] <<bookshy>> guess ur rite
He heard a knock on the bathroom door and quickly finished brushing his teeth. When he opened the door Hideyoshi was standing behind it already in his pyjamas.
"I thought you'd never come out," he commented with a yawn and pushed past him to the bathroom.
"Good night," Mitsunari wished to the closed door before he retreated back to his room.
[23:18:30] <<bookshy>> how was ur day [23:18:49] <<bookshy>> i saw the prettiest person today like hot damn [23:19:13] <<ManjuDreamer>> I saw an interesting person today too, I wish I get to see them again. Other than that, it was mostly my student being an idiot, so nothing new. [23:19:53] <<ManjuDreamer>> I tried to do some research on a paper I'm writing, but it didn't progress much. I was just about to go to bed so I have energy to study more tomorrow. [23:19:56] <<bookshy>> srry to keep u up [23:19:57] <<bookshy>> night! [23:20:10] <<ManjuDreamer>> Night.
***
Mitsunari tossed the wig from his head frustrated, running his hand over his face. He glanced at the mirror of the bathroom, at the perfectly drawn eyeliner, the perfect shade of blush, the perfectly applied foundation. The perfect set of lies, painted on his face.
[13:33:14] <<ManjuDreamer>> I went to see my mother.
He hesitated a bit before he sent the message. It didn't take long for his phone to bling with a reply.
[13:34:29] <<bookshy>> how did it go? [13:34:48] <<ManjuDreamer>> As well as you would expect. [13:34:51] <<bookshy>> u wanna t alk about it?
His fingers ghosted over the screen of his phone before he put it down and looked at the mirror again. He reached for the makeup removal wipes from his bag and scrubbed furiously at his skin until the last remains of the makeup were gone.
[13:36:18] <<ManjuDreamer>> She's there but I feel like I'm losing her. [13:37:01] <<ManjuDreamer>> Every time I visit she seems further and further away. [13:37:15]<<ManjuDreamer>> Sometimes I wonder if the mother I used to know is there at all.
He started to type his next message, but stopped, gripping his phone tight in his hand.
[13:38:34] <<ManjuDreamer>> She's my mother, but it's so hard. [13:38:42] <<ManjuDreamer>> I don't know what to do.
He glanced at the mirror to make sure his eyes weren't red before he pulled his shirt over his head and replaced it with one from his bag.
[13:38:47] <<bookshy>> ur doing plenty already [13:38:49] <<bookshy>> u dont have to push urself so hard [13:38:50] <<bookshy>> im sure shed understand [13:38:59] <<ManjuDreamer>> But I'm all she has. [13:39:02] <<bookshy>> i know [13:39:06] <<bookshy>> but u hhave 2 thnk abt urself frst [13:39:15] <<bookshy>> if u feel its too much u can keep a brek. ur not prfect. u dnt have 2 b [13:39:50] <<bookshy>> im alws hr 2 tlk if u need me [13:40:20] <<ManjuDreamer>> Thank you. It means a lot.
He put his phone on the side of the sink and wiggled out of his skirt. He really should buy a new one next time he got paid for tutoring. The zipper didn't work properly anymore and the hem was starting to fray. He kicked the flats from his feet and looked at the kneehigh socks on his feet. They wouldn't be visible under his pants anyway so he let them be and took his pants and shoes from his bag before showing the skirt and shirt in their place. He considered showing the wig in after them but realised making the wig presentable after that would be too much of a hassle. So he gently combed the wig with his fingers to sort out biggest tangles and folded it neatly in a mesh bag. Flats into a plastic bag, then into the bag.
Like countless times before.
He got dressed and made one final glance at the mirror before he put the bag on his shoulder and stepped out of the bathroom.
"Oh, Mitsunari! Here to see your mother?" a nurse greeted him when he tried to slip past the nurses' office without being noticed. What a nosy bunch of quidnuncs insistent of mothering him.
“Yes. I was just leaving.” He replied with a stiff bow.
“Come and have some tea with us! How did the test go you told me last time?” Another nurse poked her head from the office. Mitsunari resisted the urge to roll his eyes and offered another bow.
“I believe it went well. I still haven’t received the results.”
Half an hour later he was still stuck at the nurses' office surrounded by what felt like a flock of mother hens, all determined to squeeze every bit of information out of him they could. He was just getting up from his chair when a voice behind him froze him on the spot.
"Did my darling Saki leave already? She was just here... Such a dutiful daughter, coming to see her mother so often..."
His knuckles turned white as he squeezed the edge of the table, his head down. He wanted to turn around. He wanted to see his mother as himself. He wanted... needed to see if she'd recognise him this time.
"We saw her leave a while ago, Mrs Ishida. She's such a nice girl."
He heard a nurse walk his mother away and the sighs of relief from the remaining nurses.
"Are you alright, Mitsunari? You know we'll listen to you if you need to talk. Or we can help you find someone-"
"I need to go now. Goodbye," Mitsunari interrupted the nurse who had put her hand on his shoulder to calm him. He got up in such haste his chair fell to the floor with a rattle, but he just offered a quick bow before he fled the office.
He didn't stop until he arrived at the bus stop. There he sank on the bench, burying his face on his hands.
He took the bus to the library, staring idly out of the window.
[14:36:09] <<bookshy>> did u make it home [14:36:35] <<ManjuDreamer>> No. I'm heading to the library. The nurses got me again. [14:36:37] <<bookshy>> lol how did u mnage 2 escpe [18:36:56] <<ManjuDreamer>> Mother came to the office. [14:37:09] <<bookshy>> oh no [14:37:10] <<bookshy>> im so sorry [14:37:21] <<bookshy>> how r u feeling rn? [14:38:29] <<ManjuDreamer>> I don't know. I'll try to find some reading to distract myself with.
At the library, he searched for materials for his upcoming paper but when he sat down and tried to read, the words didn't make any sense.
When he had read the same page several times over and still remembered absolutely nothing he was interrupted from his reading by a book shoved on top of the one he was just reading.
"Can't you see I'm-!" the sharp words died on his lips when he saw the same woman who had read to the kids in front of him. She tapped on the note on top of the book and he looked down to read it.
'This is the book I was reading. You seemed interested'
She handed him a second book, a note on top of it too.
'I'll read this next'
When she shifted her weight from one foot to another clearly uncomfortable, he realised he was staring. He offered her a curt nod as a thank you and she bowed at him a small relieved smile on her lips. She seemed to hesitate before she signed something but he had to shake his head.
There was a slight shift on her smile, on her posture, and she took a step back.
'I'm sorry' she mouthed and offered him a bow before she all but fled, leaving him to sit alone, feeling like an idiot.
[16:19:20] <<ManjuDreamer>> I think I just made a complete fool out of myself. [16:29:59] <<bookshy>> lol rly? [16:30:00] <<bookshy>> wht did u do? [16:30:02] <<bookshy>> i thght fool wasnt in ur dicktionary [16:31:18] <<ManjuDreamer>> And for that terrible joke, I tell you nothing. [16:31:47] <<bookshy>> noooo hw wll i evr know how embarassng u can be if u don tell me? [16:32:32] <<ManjuDreamer>> You'll survive.
***
"She's not here today."
Mitsunari was startled from his thoughts by a familiar voice behind him. He turned around, vaguely aware of the frown his irritation had brought on his face.
"Who?" he asked as if he didn't know exactly who was the 'she' in question.
"I got this for you, I'm sure it holds some useful information." Mr Otani handed him a flyer for the children's activities in the local libraries. Mitsunari stared at the flyer blankly before he looked at Mr Otani, letting his irritation show.
"And what am I supposed to do with this?"
Mr Otani just smiled and pushed a book towards him as well.
"I'm sure you'll find this useful as well. Come find me if you need anything else."
Before he had time to protest Mr Otani left him with a wave, a wide smile on his face. He considered running or yelling after him, but changed his mind when he looked at the book in his hand.
'Sign language for beginners'
He tucked the children's program leaflet securely at the back of his calendar and checked the book out.
Something about the sign language intrigued him. She looked so graceful when signing. And so comfortable and she seemed genuinely love reading to the children.
At first, he thought he’d look up a few signs. Just in case some of the children needed help in the library. Just so he could talk to her. No, he meant the kids. So he could talk to the kids. But few turned into a few hundred. A few thousand. He was so lost.
***
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ML Secret Santa
Merry (belated) Christmas @nayawata it is I, your gifter for the @mlsecretsanta with a fic about the OTP
Paris, France | July
She graduates. One day, she is at université, and the next, she is not. The morning after her final exam, she slips downstairs for breakfast and instead finds an envelope.   
Her parents' latest attempt to stop her from being so easily scared is three months in a city she doesn't know with a language she barely speaks. All expenses paid. She leaves in three months. Merde. 
Sydney, Australia | October 
It’s a jarringly young city. Everywhere Mylène looks she expects to see historic architecture and instead sees nothing beyond the nineteenth century. Her auntie chatters good-naturedly from the drivers seat which is on the wrong side of the car. Everything is strange and it feels a little like she can’t breathe and she cant make a sound and she is so so glad when the car stops and she can get inside the house and play her song and feel like she is still at home. 
The first two weeks she only leaves the house with one of her cousins or aunts, too scared to venture outside without some kind of security net. They take her on outings every few days, doing the tourist shtick at what is probably their attempt to make her feel welcome. The multiple trips to the city aren’t too bad, but when they head anywhere else she feels off kilter. The ocean is too big and the countryside is too foreign. The suburbs are too sprawling and quite frankly she doesn’t even know where to start with the birds. 
November
She goes for a walk alone the first week of November. Three pictures of the waterfront reflecting the clear blue sky later and she realises she is lost. Very lost. She isn’t even sure which way is home. She would like to say she was brave enough to find her own way home but the truth is that pedestrian’s hassle her along until she crashes into something large and solid with an eep of surprise. 
The large and solid something responds with a grunt that shocks her into leaping back. And looks up. And up a little more to find the something’s face shuffled into a terrifyingly grumpy glare. She shrieks and cowers a little before the glare retreats into something a little closer to concern.   
She’s fumbling out an apology as best she can manage and trying desperately not to give in to the urge to flee when the man in front of her guides her gently to a bench. “Are you okay?” he asks and she can’t help but suck in a breath at his accent because it is wonderfully, blessedly French. 
“T’es Français?” She hopes he understands what she is trying to say. 
He starts in surprise. “Oui.” She can’t help the wave of relief that sweeps over her and switches to French for a more coherent apology. 
The guy’s name is Ivan and he doesn’t know how to get back to her aunts’ place, but his english is much better than hers and he is brave enough to ask for help and big enough to hide behind when the strangers get to be too much. Mylène thinks she quite likes this arrangement. It takes a full hour to find home, and she is glad for Ivan’s company.
He slips her his phone number moments before she shuts the door. Merde.
Three days pass before she even has the courage to save the string of numbers to her phone. Two more before she sends through a safe, neutral, hi this is mylene :) 
Ivan replies twenty-seven anxious minutes later.  hey mylene good to hear frm u  glad u hadnt lost my no
sorry, she replies 
dw i was jst disappted i might not get to see u again
oh i d like that
me too this wknd?
Deep breath.  yeah i d like that
sat 1pm we can try tht walk again?
yes please
He arrives at the front door at five minutes to the hour. She’s been ready for the past ten minutes, but she still jumps at the sound of the doorbell. 
This second walk is far better than the first, even if there are more people out on the weekend. They find their way to a market near a library and Mylène can’t help but feel a little nervous but Ivan is quietly reassuring. He buys her a little pin for her bandana and his face when she pins it straight to the fabric is something she really wants so see again.
She learns a lot about Ivan that day. He likes heavy metal, hates the heat, tries to be gruff and intimidating but cares too much to pull it off convincingly.   
She tells him about Paris, how scared she is of just about everything because so much of it is just too much a lot of the time, that she likes cats better than dogs, about her dad’s job, and that her deepest desire is to be brave.   
Ivan returns her confidences with the slightly ashamed admission that he is really not a cat person and Mylène giggles at his despondency before rushing to reassure him that she doesn't hold it against him. 
Later, she texts him. the cat thing is mostly because they re quieter  also because of the superhero he was kinda sweet
hte who
chat noir the paris superhero a couple years back in the news a lot both him and his partner total badasses in spandex
oh that superhero
i met him a few times he was at our school on superhero business n stuff he was really kind little dorky
that school that was awlays in the papers was urs?francis dupain or smth i almost went there
francois dupont yeah that was a crazy time scary too wait what dieu we might have been classmates thats so weird i was turned into one of the monsters one time
oh no
there was this mean girl she teased me and i ended up a monster
you could never be a monster mylene
no like an actual monster type creature monstrous from a horror movie pink jelly thing horrificater i scared people and kidnapped them i don t remember what happened much but everyone was really nice to me for a while after
wait the first time that was u in there
yeah that was me
wow working through that must have been hard
i had help chat noir came and talked to me a few times my parents really helped im glad u had that
December
There is no snow for Christmas this year. She gets a second summer instead, of the kind that Paris rarely sees. Ivan texts her every other day to complain about the heat. Her aunt takes her to the beach, and Ivan shows up in a pair of stupidly bright shorts that apparently were a gift from his sister. They make her laugh, and he grins. 
 you re really easy to talk to ivan um thanyk u no really it s really nice i like it
sorry if i made it weird i just mean t like we re friends i like talking to you
mylene its fine im sorry i dont take compliments v well it means a lot that u can say that thank u
He hands her a parcel a few days before Christmas. Inside is a pin she recognises from - oh. Its Ivan’s. From his favourite band. “You’re giving me this? Haven’t you had it since you were a teenager?” 
“I… I want you to have it, to remind you that you can be brave.” 
“Zombie Skull Crushers is going to remind me to be brave?” She hates the plaintive note that her voice holds.
“Yeah, doesn’t it just sound brave and badass, just like I know you can be?” 
She hugs him, tight and grateful.
“Thankyou, Ivan,” she chokes out. “It’s the best present anyone’s ever given me.” He hugs her back, gentle and easy as breathing. 
She almost forgets the parcel tucked into her bag but presses it into his hands right before she leaves. “Joyeux Noël, Ivan." 
Her parents fly in for Christmas itself. She goes to meet them at the airport and the moment she sees them both she runs for them. Her dad catches her as she leaps and her mum folds into the both of them and she burrows in between both of them and doesn't leave their side if she can help it from that point on.
Paris, France | January
She leaves for home with her parents. The plane lands and she gets off and everything is so wonderfully familiar but she feels strangely untethered. Her home is still much as it was when she left, and her room is identical save for more dust than normal. 
And she can’t quite work out what is missing until her phone buzzes insistently and she drops her unpacking to fumble for her phone and check the screen. 
They’re all from Ivan, and she realises as she reads through them it’s him she’s missing. He’s worked his way under her skin, going form imposing to reassuring too easily. 
miss u already mylene
Oh, merde 
i rly had a great time with you when i go back home to chatres in abt a month can i see u on the way thru
What?
Two months and it had never come up how close he lived to Paris. To her. And she want’s to see him again and isn't that incredible. Mylène doesnt know what she ever did to deserve such a gift but there’s only one thing she can do 
of course i want to see you too i didn t know you lived so close
His response is almost immediate  yeah crazy huh
A month of of texting back and forth follows. Ivan is beautifully poetic when he tries, and Mylène learns ever more about her new friend. When Ivan returns to France, he knocks on her door when she’s the only one home. 
“Hey,” he says, like. a month of separation hasn't stood between them like anticipation. She stretches her arms around his waist as far as she can and laughs with joy at the tidal wave of affection swamping her chest. He curls his much longer arms carefully, fondly, around her back.   
“I missed you. Please don’t ever stay away that long ever again,” she mutters earnestly into his chest. His arms tighten a fraction, before he shifts one hand to tilt her chin up so he can look her straight in the eye.   
“Never. I promise, Mylène, I won’t ever stay away from you for very long anymore. I don’t think I could.” 
She believes him when he looks at her like that, like he wants to see right through her eyes into her soul and know it intimately. Three days later he asks her on a date. 
She says yes 
They go for a walk.   
She tucks her hand in his and the world feels a little less terrifying when she does.
14 notes · View notes
(UK) ideal first car for male 25 year old who comutes ALOT! !?
"(UK) ideal first car for male 25 year old who comutes ALOT! !?
Finally decided to get of my are and learn to drive next year, need a car that Is cheap to run (all aspects considered) but quite importantly,  a female isn't going to run a mile if I pull up in it!    I travel up and down the country every weekend  with a friend in a vauxhall astra hatchback, is that a decent enough car?
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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My dad said he'd buy me a BMW if the insurance isn't considerably higher than my brothers, who drives a 2004 VW Golf. I'm a 16 year old male and will probably be driving within a year but I want to know whether the insurance would be considerably higher than a golf. We live in Dallas TX Thank You""
Where can I find cheap car insurance for someone who has a dui?
I live in AZ and I am trying to find car insurance for someone who has had a dui. The only company so far is Bristol west but they are too expensive. Where else can I go?
Cheap car insurer for young driver?
I am a 19 year old male trying to find a cheaper car insurance quote than 1500. Does anyone know the cheapest car to insure? or a cheap insurer?
""To obtain my permit in the state of California, do I need to have my parents get insurance for me?
Or when I apply do I have to show proof that my PARENTS have insurance?
How to get car insurance cheaper for new drivers?
How to get car insurance cheaper for new drivers?
Do I have to include my husband on my auto insurance policy?
Without him on it, my monthly bill would only be $44. With him on it, it's $135. Do I legally have to include him on the policy?""
What is the best life insurance to get and where?
I'm young but not in the best health, I'm looking for life insurance, something affordable and legitimate""
What information do I need when I call insurance for a Quote?
I'm planning on purchasing a car in around 2 weeks time, what information do I need to give insurance so I can be added onto my parents policy? I do have the VIN of the car, is there any other information needed besides my parent's account information? Thanks. :)""
Affordable health insurance??
I asked before but i am looking for a health insurance that covers meds, eye checks, dentist, womens problems, in the united states.""
Is my insurance company liable?
My insurance company offered me a policy to cover a de restricted scooter which I agreed to take out, but in order for this policy to take effect I had to give up 4 months of cover totalling around 160 and pay a 80 deposit on the new policy. Last week I was sent a letter notifying me that my insurance was cancelled so I called them and was told that I had to return a copy of my CBT certificate. I rang on Sunday and was told a completely different story and that was that the company they placed me with had decided that they were not going to cover me even though the whole point of changing them was because they specificity dealt with my type of vehicle . They have now offered another policy for 515 pounds with is 100 pounds more than my previous and I am not willing to pay this as they lied to me and told me that I was insured to ride around even though they knew that I was not covered. I have copies of the insurance certificate to prove that they sold me the policy and all other relating documents. Please advise on what I can do.""
Renters insurance in California?
What does renters insurance cover? I'm renting a room from a friend but want my own insurance to cover personal injury without using the homeowner's coverage as well as if something gets accidently damaged by me for it to be covered. Is this included in renters insurance?
Car insurance for a month?
Is there anyway of getting a car insurance for just a month cause I'm selling my car in the next month so don't want to take out a years insurance for it? Thanks
Car insurance in New Zealand?
Im thinking of moving to New Zealand. I would want a car at some point and don't know how much car insurence would cost. Im 19 been driving for a year and a half. No accidents, convictions etc?""
Cheapest car insurance for female 37 on provisional?
Just bought a car Citroen c2 having real trouble getting insurance quotes under 600....HELP!!
Cheapest Car Insurance - Canada?
Need a cheap car insurance... Don't spout off answers if you have no idea... I've researched: TD, RBC, CAA, AllState and Statefarm Living in Ontario!""
How much per year does health insurance cost for an average 50 year old with no employment benefits?
just a single person. no previous health problems. I realize this depends on specific circumstances, but you can ballpark estimate it for me thanks.""
Auto insurance question?
I was a passenger in a car accident and my laptop was broken. Would the drivers insurance cover it? Even if it was liability, it should still have to cover it right? He says the insurance says no because I wasn't injured... That doesn't make any sense.""
How much should my car insurance be a month?
I am 19 and I drive a 2003 Jeep. I've been with Geico for 1.5 years & my policy price has went up two times! When I called to ask why it would go up they explained that it was nothing to do with me or my driving record (seeing how I've never had a wreck or a ticket) but that it depends on the claims from other people. I know this is how some things work, but I don't think I should be pentilized for someone else's claims. Is this how every car insurance works or is it just Geico? I'm going to start calling around to today to get quotes...but I wanted to hear from people other than a sales person.""
Where do you find affordable health insurance with a pre-existing condition?
Where do you find affordable health insurance with a pre-existing condition?
Peugeot 206 gti insurance cost?
Does anyone know roughly how much it would cost for first time insurance? I'm 18 by the way.
Where can I find cheap roofing insurance?
I am looking to start a roofing repair company (residential only at this time) . What I am going to do is secure the jobs, draw the contracts, purchase material and collect payment. I have 3 crews that will do the labor and they each provide liability as well as worker comp on their crews. What I looking for is a company that will insure me with liability (1 million) for my protection. What I am running into is that every company that I talk to says that you have to be in business for 2 years or greater or they are quoting me 7 to 9k a year. I have over 10 years experience in quoting, selling and installing, can anyone help out in finding affordable liability insurance? Thanks""
Why is insurance for mazda cars so high?
I heard mazda cars often increase your insurance? Why do they? Is it for a good or bad reason? Answer with detail please :)
Insurance and tax for a corsa?
im looking at buying a 06 (56) Vauxhall Corsa 1.4i 16V SXi 5dr for a 1st time car and was wondering how much would insurance, tax and a MOT usually cost for this kind of car?""
Why don't people just buy themselves health insurance?
I am 26 years old and have had a major back surgery. Still I pay just $98/month for my Blue Cross of California PPO health insurance. Why doesn't everyone without insurance just go buy it for themselves instead of buying an Ipod or new cell phone? This would keep the government from rationing health care and having more power over us citizens as well as not forcing some people to pay for others.
On average how much do you pay for your car?
My boyfriend makes about 1,100 a month. I made about 1,200 a month. We're young, so we don't make that much but we do live together and we have been since I was 18. Pretty soon, I should be making around... 1,400 a month. WE NEED TO GET A CAR. I had one but gave it to my mother who was struggling. We want to get one so here it goes: 1, When we go to the car dealership what information (other than the standard info) will they ask for? 2. What is required to buy a car other than insurance and a license? 3. How much is an average down payment? 4. Say we get a used car made before 2005, how much on average should the monthly payment be? I know there's a million answers but this but anything will help. Maybe like a honda civic or ford focus, something small and cheap. You're help is very valuable. :) :) :) :)""
(UK) ideal first car for male 25 year old who comutes ALOT! !?
Finally decided to get of my are and learn to drive next year, need a car that Is cheap to run (all aspects considered) but quite importantly,  a female isn't going to run a mile if I pull up in it!    I travel up and down the country every weekend  with a friend in a vauxhall astra hatchback, is that a decent enough car?
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/do-i-still-have-pay-excess-my-car-insurance-anthony-johnston/"
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