#and i don’t want tk leave with these things plugged in

[pimento-playing-hopscotch]

Can we end January early?

And like I don’t mean start February, but have this next twelve days be a month less void-

Cause January has been too January this week 🫣🫣

[wheezyseeker99]

Guilty as Sin

Warnings: pining, alcohol consumption (just a little), swearing, smut in many forms aka masturbation (female), oral (female receiving), penetration (fm), and multiple orgasm

18+, MDNI

Summary: based on my interpretation of the song. Also if you can’t tell, I’m obsessed with the way he was as a whole on April 11, 2024.

Anyway, good luck soldiers if you read.

I moved in with my best friend Cam a few months ago. Reason being I wanted to work on the east coast, and he isn’t usually home often. So I take care of the house while he’s on the road, and I get to spend time with him when he is home. It’s a win-win for the both of us.

The longest stretch for when he’s home is when hockey is in its off season, which is supposed to start soon here in Philly. With this losing streak, they are definitely not making playoffs. It’s sad because they really did have a good season up until now.

Tonight Cam has an away game. I decided to stay home since I had to work so now I have the place alone once again. Earlier he sent me a song that reminded him of me, and that made my day so much better. Work has torn me to pieces lately, but today was rougher than others. I’m debating whether I should take a personal day tomorrow just to recuperate.

I’m sitting here putting the finishing touches on graded assignments before the game starts. I’m feeling tense. Sometimes I can’t figure out why I put myself through the torture of teaching children for a living. It’s so hard to do, but in the end, it’s so rewarding. I close my laptop and shove it with the graded assignments into my bag and grab a bottle of wine from the kitchen. It’s a normal occurrence at this point to watch the games with a drink in hand.

Right when I make it back into the living room, I glance up at the tv to see that TK passed the puck to Cam and he scored. I gape at the tv for a second.

My best friend just scored.

I jump up off the couch and shout in excitement. I pull out my phone and pose next to the moment on the screen, sending it to Cam for him to see later. In the heat of the excitement, I sit back down and continue watching the game.

When the first period is over, the score is tied. I think it’s almost safe to say the losing streak is over but I don’t want to jinx it. I finally decide it’s time to eat so I go to the kitchen and make a sandwich. Though, when I walk back I see Cam on the screen doing an intermission interview. I paused my eating mid-bite.

Holy shit. He looks hot as fuck right now.

I stare at him for the rest of the interview, spiraling. This isn’t the first time I thought of Cam in that way. Honestly, it’s always been in the back of my brain, but I don’t have the balls to act on it. Cam has always been the one that’s there for me. He cares about me and he actually listens to me. That’s a rarity for a man. He’s so precious, and I’m not screwing up our friendship because I’m touch starved.

For the rest of the game, I kept thinking of the things that I shoved deep inside my mind. And they all had to do with my best friend. The wine didn’t help with that either. I turned off the game and went to brush my teeth.

Cam probably won’t be home until the middle of the night so I leave a light on for him and trail into my bedroom, closing the door behind me. I lay down and the thoughts are back immediately.

Maybe I should get it all out while he’s not here.

My inner voice usually doesn’t say yes to things so easily, but here I am, thinking about throwing my thoughts to the wolves. This is far too unhinged. Is it bad to think about him in this way? I rack my brain until my phone lights up with a message from Cam.

‘That’s my girl’ with a picture of him cheesing at the camera. My eyes trail over the picture, looking everywhere from his bare shoulders to his lips. It’s safe to say that I metaphorically want to jump his bones immediately. Feral as hell.

I plug in my phone and lay it on my bedside table, hoping that he doesn’t notice that I didn’t reply.

It’s helpless to be this way. I slide my shorts off, leaving me in a big tshirt, and lay down again. When I close my eyes, I see Cam. I let out a deep sigh. What if, just this once, I give in to it? No harm in rubbing one out while thinking about my best friend right?

I close my eyes again and trail my hand up my thigh. My fingers aren’t my own, they’re his. His lips messily attacking my own. I’m breathing hard, swirling my fingers around my clit.

Cam. Cam. Cam.

My mind is running wild with all of the things we’ve never did. The way he’d manhandle me sticks to my mind like glue. He’d mark my body as his. I tilt my head back and gasp when I press two fingers into myself, applying pressure to my clit with my thumb. Cam’s calloused fingers would feel so much better than my own. He would curl them in a certain way that would make me melt into the palm of his hand. I feel my body shaking and soon I’m chanting his name while I’m crashing through an orgasm.

When I open my eyes, I notice how labored my breathing is. I take a few minutes to regain my ability to breathe and fell asleep.

…

My dream is starting to feel so real. It’s like Cam is haunting me. He’s laying behind me in bed, sliding his hands against my bare thighs. I feel his lips against the back of my neck. But it’s not real. It can’t be. I keep my eyes closed while I whimper out his name. It really feels like I can feel his breath against the shell of my ear and hear him softly hum.

There are kisses being pressed down my neck onto my shoulder. The scratchiness of his beard scrapes the sensitive skin. I lean into the fantasy, reaching my hand behind me to grab onto his hair, moaning at the way his mouth feels against my skin. It feels soft against my hand. If only this was real.

I roll over and open my eyes, and the world stops. Blue eyes hold my gaze.

“This isn’t real.”

“It is.” He places a kiss on my jaw and then pulls away to look at me. “You called me and I assumed it was a mistake. I kept my airpods in just in case you just wanted company while you slept.” His hand goes back to stroking my thigh. “But then I heard you moaning and calling out my name. Care to comment on that?”

My skin is on fire when he touches me and his eyes are burning into me. I bite my lip, but he lifts his thumb up to set my bottom lip free from my teeth. I let out a deep sigh, trying to control myself. I have to be honest now. I lay onto my back and stare at the ceiling.

“I thought I only plugged in my phone to charge. I didn’t mean to call you. I’m sorry. I just-”

“You’re sorry for what exactly?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t think you’d ever find out.” I cover my face with my hands. “I really embarrassed myself and I’m sorry if it’s going to be weird between us now because of what I did.”

He pulls my hands away from my face and holds them. “I’m glad you did it. I’ve been holding back from this for a long time.”

I stared at him, more shocked than I’ve ever been before. “You’re not mad at me?”

“Think about it. Use that pretty brain.” He taps a finger to my forehead. “Was I not just kissing your skin baby?”

Oh wow.

I’m at a loss for words so I nod my head. He nods back at me, smiling broadly. “Exactly. I love you just as much as you love me. So tell me, may I kiss you some more?”

I nod again and press my lips to his. The world fades around us. Cam’s hands come to my hips and lifts me onto him. I’m straddling his lap and I gasp for air when our kiss breaks. I didn’t realize he’s only wearing underwear until now. My hands settle onto his bare shoulders, feeling his hot skin under my touch. This feels like a fantasy. He licks his lips, silently begging for more. There’s a spark in his eyes when he looks at me. He smoothes down my bed head, and tucks a stray hair behind my ear.

“This is what I wanted for so long.” His voice is low and it sends a shiver down my spine. “I’m sick of sharing you. You’re mine now.”

I gulp and mindlessly nod my head. I’m physically and mentally melting into him. His hands trail up and down my back, like he’s mapping out his territory, until they settle on my ass.

“Come on now baby. Cat got your tongue?” He smirks. “Tell me you’re mine.”

“I’m yours Cam.”

“Mine.” He says through gritted teeth while he smacks my ass. He brings his mouth back to mine. The kisses are growing more urgent and heated, and I grind down onto his lap, needing more friction between my legs. He lets out a strangled groan into my mouth, smacking my ass again.

Cam removes his mouth from mine and moves it to nip at my neck. His beard grazes my skin, making my head tilt back. I moan out his name when he bites down on my pulse point. He reaches a hand between us, feeling my wetness over my underwear while I continue to grind into him.

“Who did this to you baby?”

“You.” I gasp. His fingers pull aside my underwear and press into my clit. I scream out and lay my head on his shoulder.

“Fuck. So pretty.” Two of his fingers circle against my clit until he presses them into me. I rock greedily onto them. “Look at you taking me so good.”

His praise has me clutching onto him for dear life. I have no other coherent thoughts besides him. I’m chanting out his name again for the second time tonight when I slam into the most mind blowing orgasm I’ve ever had. He brings his fingers up to his lips and sucks them, moaning at the taste of me. My hands drop to the waistband of his boxers. I start tugging them down while I give attention to his chest, lips meeting any piece of his skin I can reach.

Once I freed him from his boxers, he flips me over onto my back and takes off my panties and tshirt, leaving us both stripped down to nothing but skin.

Cam’s gaze shows an expression I’ve never seen him have before. It looks like a look of untamed desire. Kind of animalistic. I want him so bad. He’s back on me in an instant.

Our chests pressed together, mouth attacking mine. His hand lifts my thigh over his hip, sinking into me further. His hips move in long strokes. I moan into his mouth as he thrusts into me at a slow and steady pace. He’s taking his time.

We lose ourselves in each other and forget everything else. The feeling of him on top of me, in me, has me at an intoxicating level of ecstasy. Reality feels so far away, but we’re in it. I try to commit this all to memory until Cam moans into my mouth, biting down on my bottom lip as he lets my lips go. He starts going faster. He takes my hands and holds them above my head while he tucks his face into the crook of my neck. I scream out in bliss. The snapping of his hips blurs my vision and my body is aching to release.

“Please.” I stutter out. I’m too overwhelmed to say anything else. It’s too much.

“Let go baby. I’m-“ his voice breaks and he lets out a guttural moan. His desperate thrusts are starting to stagger when I tip over the edge. His mouth crashes down on mine, muting the whine that’s coming out of his throat. A wave of pure pleasure washes over us as we ride out our climax.

“Fuck I’m so in love with you.” He whispers against my lips. His chest is still heaving while he slides out of me. I’m lying here breathless and mind-numbingly blissed out. He looks down at me like I’m the greatest thing to ever happen to him. He bites his lip when he looks down at the mess we made and quirks a brow at me. “Think I need to clean you up now.”

Cam shuffles down the bed until he’s face to face with my soaked pussy. He swirls a finger around, mixing his cum with mine.

Oh my god.

I throw my head back and moan at how sensitive it feels. I try to squeeze my thighs together but he pries them open and lowers his mouth to taste me. My legs start shaking immediately. I grab onto his hair as he shoves his face further into me, licking every place he can before sucking my clit into his mouth which elicits another breathless scream from me. He chuckles against me but continues his assault. I’m writhing in pleasure until I come apart again, breathing hard as he licks me through my orgasm. My hands fall to the bed and he stands to leave. I whimper but he shushes me, saying he’d be back. Cam comes back with a wash cloth and gently wipes me clean.

After he takes the wash cloth back to the bathroom, he comes back and lays down with me. He pulls me into him, both of us still very naked. I lay my head on his chest and snuggling close. I love this feeling. I lift my chin to rest on his chest and look at his face. He has an arm tucked behind his head and the other plays with my hair.

Cam looks so content. He removes his hand from behind his head and lifts my thigh over him. He traces patterns on my upper thigh. It kind of feels like he’s tracing out the word ‘mine’ on it. I kiss his chest and smile to myself as I lay my head back down. I listen to his heart beat for a moment.

“We’re not just best friends anymore, huh?”

“No baby, we’re not. We’re so much more.”

[strandnreyes]

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thinks along the work alcoholic Carlos in post-s4/s5 train!! Also, it is just so funny how much range these thoughts have 😅 like do I need the wake up call to be dramatic af, say Gabriel-like shocking or do I want an argument or do I want a smaller incident? ER calling and that phone call, or do I want him to not take that call and learn about it just hours later, perhaps even after TK leaves the hospital? Or do I want a simple but most hurtful "Why would have I called you about this (happy) news? you wouldn't have answered/been there anyway"? So many great possibilities!!!

I’m assuming you meant workaholic and not work alcoholic because those are two very different things lol

I can’t speak for anybody else imagining/writing these scenarios, but I know what the wake up call in my fic is going to be already. I don’t want to spoil it, but I will say it’s nothing of the gunshot/ER/injury sense. so if anyone was wanting that, sorry to disappoint

I will plug There’s Always Tomorrow by @three-drink-amy. Part 1 of 2 is published as of now, but it’s really good and it fits into this discussion

[marjansmarwani]

I wrote this before that teaser dropped and it was going to go in a different direction, but I started having thoughts. So welcome to my s3 premiere spec fic, I guess. Here’s some softness for your Wednesday!

--------- When TK rolled over in bed and got his first look out the bedroom window he was immediately disoriented. He was fairly certain he had fallen asleep in Austin, in the bed he shared with his boyfriend. He was almost certain of that. But if that were true, it didn’t explain the white blanketing everything. It almost looked like…

“Is that snow?” 

TK twisted to see Carlos’s sleep mused head peering around him as he squinted at the window, his expression mirroring the confusion TK felt. 

“I think so,” he told his boyfriend, turning his gaze back out the window. “Assuming I’m not seeing things. We’re still in Austin, right?” 

“Last I checked,” Carlos confirmed. “But your mom has been after us to visit and frankly I wouldn’t put anything past her.” 

TK chuckled at that before pulling back the blankets and preparing to climb out of bed. But the cold air hitting his body was unexpected and he let out an involuntary yelp that had Carlos looking at him in concern. 

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly, putting a reassuring hand on Carlos’s arm as he yanked the blankets back over himself. “It’s just, really cold in here. I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Maybe your dad doesn’t have the heat on yet?” Carlos suggested. “It’s not like we were expecting this.” 

“Maybe,” TK allowed, “but I doubt it. Owen Strand has religiously had every thermostat in every place we’ve ever lived set to 69 degrees my entire life. Seems like a weird choice to stop that now. But,” he countered with a smile as he slid back under the blankets and moved closer to Carlos, “it’s plenty warm right here.” 

“So that’s your solution?” Carlos asked with a laugh even as he wound his arms around TK and pulled him closer, “Hideaway in bed until the snow is gone?” 

“Just until it warms up in here,” TK corrected. “I actually like the snow. I’ve kind of missed it.” 

“Don’t say that too loud,” Carlos murmured into his neck as he burrowed closer to TK, chasing the warmth of his body, “you might have a riot on your hands for accidentally starting this.” 

TK scoffed but didn’t say anything as his focus was more on his boyfriend who was currently doing his best to impersonate a koala, “Don’t take this the wrong way babe,” he said after a moment, “because you know how much I love your cuddles, but what exactly are you doing?” 

Carlos looked up at him sheepishly. “I’m cold,” he admitted. “And I don’t like being cold.” 

TK laughed but snuggled closer, wrapping his arms around Carlos. “Then I guess it’s a good thing we don’t have to leave this bed ever again.” 

“We both have jobs, TK.” 

“What?” TK asked with a grin as he pressed a kiss to the inside of Carlos’s neck. “You don’t think your Captain will give you a day off for this?” 

Carlos bit his lip as TK’s lip found more sensitive skin and shook his head, “No,” he replied when he was able to get his breath back, “and neither would yours.” 

TK sighed and laid his head back against Carlos’s chest. “How much time do we have?” 

Carlos stretched a hand out to the nightstand, grabbing his phone off the charger. He frowned as he looked at the screen, turning it to show TK, “It’s dead.” 

TK frowned and rolled over to grab his, ignoring Carlos’s protests at the loss of contact. He picked his up and hit the power button. The screen lit up, the battery icon in the corner informing him that it was at 4% even though it was still plugged in. 

“Do you want the good news or bad news first?” he asked Carlos as he rolled over again. 

“Bad,” Carlos told him, “always the bad first.” 

“In that case, the power’s out, which at least explains why it is so cold in here.”

Carlos groaned and pulled the blankets tighter around them. 

“What’s the good news?” he asked. 

“The good news,” TK began, shifting so his arms were around Carlos again, “is that we have at least a half-hour before we even have to think about getting up for work. Besides,” he added with a sly grin as he felt Carlos press himself even closer, “our power’s out. It’s not our fault if our alarms never go off.” 

[rafael-silva]

catching fire: a multichapter tarlos fic

general summary: 

“Dispatch, we have a 10-33 at our location. Fire has ignited, we need Fire and Rescue, Medical and back up. Three individuals trapped, two officers and one civilian.” “Fire, Medical and back up is on route to you now,” comes the quick reply. “Officer Reyes, report.” Radio static. “Officer Reyes, report.” Silence. “Carlos!” Nothing.

Where Carlos and his partner respond to a noise complaint that quickly escalates into a blazing fire, putting their lives in danger. The 126 are called to the scene and TK’s heart drops into his knees when he learns that Carlos is trapped inside the burning apartment. The 126 frantically work to save the officers, and they deal with the aftermath together, as a family.

chapters: 4/? 

established tk strand/carlos reyes, major character injury, emotional hurt/comfort, hurt/comfort, angst, whump, fluff, team as family, worried tk strand, hurt carlos reyes, angst with a happy ending, on call injury 

word count: 8.6k

on ao3 | ch. 1 - ch. 2 - ch. 3 - ch. 4

*****

chapter 4 snippet: 

All TK could do was wait as the minutes and hours pass by. He tries reading in the book his father brought him, the one that’s been on his nightstand for weeks, but he keeps reading the same line over and over again. He eventually gives up, tossing the book back into the duffel bag and settles in the chair by Carlos’s bed, watching the officer sleep with nothing but the steady beeping of the heart monitor for company.

Sometime after, his phone pings with a text from his dad, asking if everything is okay. TK quickly replies back, telling his dad there has been no change and noticing his phone has less than ten percent power, he plugs it into the charger his dad also packed for him.

TK falls asleep sitting by Carlos’s bed, and he’s woken up some hours later by aches echoing through his body from the position. He brushes a soft kiss to Carlos’s forehead and then lies down on the cot that was set for him. He sleeps for a couple of hours until he senses a nurse come in to check on Carlos, as it happens a few times throughout the night.

Sleep didn’t find TK during the night. Both his worry and the nurses checking in on Carlos every couple of hours combined together didn’t make sleeping an easy feat. He gave up on getting some shut eye, and started going through the side effects of smoke inhalation in his mind.

He himself had gone through it before, however, not as severely as his boyfriend. And quite frankly, it was a bitch to deal with. Uncomfortable, unpleasant and downright irritating. And as much as TK wants Carlos to wake up and to see his boyfriend’s captivating brown eyes, a part of him is glad Carlos is sleeping through the worst of it. Carlos will be feeling much better once he wakes up. He’ll be sore for a while, but the worst will be behind him.

All TK could do was wait as the minutes and hours pass by. He tries reading in the book his father brought him, the one that’s been on his nightstand for weeks, but he keeps reading the same line over and over again. He eventually gives up, tossing the book back into the duffel bag and settles in the chair by Carlos’s bed, watching the officer sleep with nothing but the steady beeping of the heart monitor for company.

Sometime after, his phone pings with a text from his dad, asking if everything is okay. TK quickly replies back, telling his dad there has been no change and noticing his phone has less than ten percent power, he plugs it into the charger his dad also packed for him.

TK falls asleep sitting by Carlos’s bed, and he’s woken up some hours later by aches echoing through his body from the position. He brushes a soft kiss to Carlos’s forehead and then lies down on the cot that was set for him. He sleeps for a couple of hours until he senses a nurse come in to check on Carlos, as it happens a few times throughout the night.

TK is woken up by sunlight shining into the hospital room. He yawns, stretching his tired muscles and his eyes quickly land on Carlos. He wasn’t woken up by the nurse’s last visit and he momentarily worries that something had happened while he was asleep. He sits up, his eyes moving from Carlos to the heart monitor that is still beeping steadily. He’s so caught in his panic that he hasn’t noticed the nurse standing at the end of Carlos’s bed.

She moves her attention from the clipboard where she’s recording Carlos’s vitals to TK. She smiles sweetly at the younger man. “Oh, good morning. Sorry if I woke you.”

“No, no, you didn’t. Haven’t been able to sleep well anyway. Good morning,” TK replies.

“Not comfortable?” She points to the mattress.  

“Oh no, it’s fine, I’m just…worried,” TK points to Carlos.

She nods.

“He’s my boyfriend. Best thing to happen to me in well…as long as I can remember,” TK continues, a small smile forming on his face.

“Injuries like his have a very high recovery rate, and he’s young, strong and healthy, he’ll be back on his feet in no time,” she reassures TK.

He nods. “Yeah, thank you. I’m a firefighter, went through this a couple of times myself but not severe enough for hospitalization. I know he’ll be fine, I just wish he’d open his eyes,” TK sighs.

“The doctor will be here soon to give you an update on when he can be weaned off the sedation and extubated.”

TK nods again. “Thank you.”

“I’m Olivia, by the way,” she smiles at TK.

“I’m TK,” he replies.

“I’m in charge of this floor, so if you need anything, anything at all, you can find me at the Nurse’s Station down the hall,” Olivia says.

“Thank you, that’s very kind of you,” he smiles back.

“I’ll be back to check on him later,” Olivia informs TK before she’s turning on her heels and exiting the room.

And then it’s back to silence, the only sounds coming from the machines attached to Carlos.

TK sighs, leaning forward and clasps Carlos’s hand with his own.

“Hey, babe. It’s just me and you,” TK whispers.

Carlos remains unresponsive.

An hour later, TK’s still holding onto Carlos’s hand and using his other to reply to messages from his team. He had received messages throughout the night and well into the morning, but had just gathered enough energy to start responding.

A knock on the door gets his attention, and he turns to see his father pushing it open and stepping into the room, two cups sitting in a holder in his grip.

The smell of coffee immediately hits TK’s senses.

“Morning,” Owen smiles at his son.

“Hey, dad,” TK replies, mustering a small smile himself.

Wordlessly, Owen pulls out one of the cups and hands it to TK, who gratefully accepts it with a nod.

“How’s he doing?”

“The same, nothing changed overnight,” TK shrugs. “The nurse said the doctor will come by later to give an update and to see when we can wake him up and remove the breathing tube.”

Owen nods. “That sounds promising.” “Yeah,” TK agrees.

“He’s gonna be fine, son.”

“Yeah, I know,” TK says, not fixating much on how his voice still cracks with those words.

He lifts the cup to his mouth and takes a sip of the hot beverage.

“I got you some time off,” Owen tells TK.

TK’s about to say something, as much as he would want nothing more than to spend time with Carlos and help him recover, he still doesn’t want to leave his team shorthanded. But it seems Owen can read his son’s mind, because he’s speaking before TK has the chance to.

“And we’ll be fine in your absence,” Owen reassures him. “Besides, if you do show up to the firehouse, the crew will be the first to tell you to go home to Carlos.”

TK chuckles, knowing that’s true. He’s beyond grateful for his team. His team who became his family.

“How’s your chest? Everything okay?” Owen asks, his voice laced with concern after TK pushes out a small cough.

TK nods. “Yeah, they gave me some oxygen last night after you left, but no trouble since.”

“That’s good to hear, but I still want you to go get your chest checked out again now to be certain there aren’t any problems or late onset complications.”

TK hesitates, his eyes landing on Carlos before moving back to his father.

“It’s okay, I’ll stay with him until you come back. Shift doesn’t start for a while anyway.”

After a moment of consideration, TK nods and gets to his feet. He brushes a kiss to Carlos’s forehead and watches him for a few seconds before leaving the room.

Owen falls into the chair that was occupied by TK. He reaches out and gently pats the officer’s shoulder.

“Hey, Carlos, it’s Owen,” the Captain breaks the silence. “TK is gonna be right back. Everything’s okay, and we’re all here for you. For both of you. You just work on getting better and don’t worry about anything else.”

Owen is leaning back in the chair, going through his phone when TK returns. He looks up as TK steps into the room.

“Hey, how did everything check out?”

“Everything’s fine, nothing out of the ordinary,” TK reports.

“That’s good,” Owen smiles. “No change here,” his smile turns sad.

TK nods, moving forward as his father gets out of the chair, vacating it for him.

“I gotta get to the firehouse, but if you need anything or anything changes, call.”

“I will, dad,” TK promises. “Thanks.”

After sharing a hug, Owen pats TK’s shoulder and with a final look at Carlos, he exists the room.

*****

Andrea stops by the hospital a little after noon. TK hasn’t really moved since Owen had left, he’d get up every now and then to stretch his legs around the room, but always finds himself returning to Carlos’s side after a few minutes had passed by.

He looks up and a smile spreads on his face when Andrea pushes the door open and walks in, holding a brown bag in one hand.

“Hola, Tyler,” she steps closer to TK, glancing at her still-asleep son.

“Hi,” he steps into her arms when she opens them, wrapping an arm around her but keeping his hold on Carlos’s hand with his other.

“How are you doing?” Andrea asks as they pull apart.

TK shrugs. “I’m okay.”

“You haven’t eaten,” she states, not a question. And from the way TK ducks his head, she knows she’s right.

She’s seen this play out endless times before with Carlos, especially during his Academy days. When he’d be so focused on studying, he’d forget to eat.

Andrea chuckles. “Don’t worry, I figured as much.”

She gestures to the brown bag, and the delicious smell of tacos surround TK and his stomach rumbles. A flush colors his cheek as he realizes just how hungry he is.

“Thank you,” TK says. “But you really didn’t have to—”

“Hush now,” Andrea interrupts TK. “You’ll need your strength to take care of Carlitos. I know he’ll want to go back to his own home, no matter how much his father and I would try to convince him to stay with us for a few days, and I know you’ll be with him at home. So let me help you keep your energy, that way I’m helping you both.”

Overwhelmed with emotion at Andrea’s words, he nods, accepting the food and her blessing. He always sensed it was a Reyes thing, giving all you got to the people you care about, and after hearing Andrea’s intentions and receiving her support, TK knows it’s most definitely a Reyes thing.

He excuses himself and slips into the bathroom, both to freshen up before eating and to give Andrea a few minutes alone with her son.

She’s smiling down at Carlos and running her fingers through his curls when TK emerges from the bathroom. They share a quick look before TK makes his way towards the small table placed near the wall where the food is waiting for him.

The room is silent take for the steady beeping of the heart monitor as TK eats, indulging in the bold flavors of the tacos, feeling satisfied as he takes one bite after the other. He cleans up once he’s done, throwing away the now-empty container and foil wrap. He washes his hands and then grabs the chair he was sitting on while eating, placing it on the other side of Carlos’s bed.

He reaches out, taking a hold of Carlos’s hand and running his thumb over the officer’s knuckles.

“His father and sisters should be here tomorrow.” TK looks up, momentarily putting the pieces together.

“They’re out of town for an event,” Andrea explains. “They know what happened, they’ll be back in Austin by tonight but their plane is landing after visiting hours.”

TK nods.

Carlos often spoke about his sisters, TK’s never met them in person (he did get introduced to them during one of the family video chats with Carlos) and he and Carlos had been planning a big dinner with Carlos’s parents and sisters where TK would get to meet said sisters, but then all this happened and well, life had other plans.

TK finds himself getting nervous at learning that he’s going to be meeting Carlos’s sisters in less than a day. Carlos had always reassured him that his sisters like him already and that there isn’t any reason to be anxious, but still, TK can’t help it.

Andrea’s saying something else then, bringing TK back from his thoughts.

“I’m sure Carlos will be awake before they get here.”

“Yeah,” TK agrees.

She studies him for a moment. “What’s on your mind, Tyler?”

“Hm?”

“You look like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders,” Andrea gives TK an empathetic smile.

TK sighs, running his free hand through his messy hair.

“It was just,” he pauses, gathering his voice. “It was a really rough call. On any day, it was bad but this one…”

“Carlos was in that burning apartment,” she continues for him, understanding.

“Yeah,” TK whispers. “And I was terrified. I didn’t want to believe it at first, when they said he was in there…but then I saw his cruiser and he was no where to be found outside. I don’t think I’ve ever been that scared in my life.”

“I can’t begin to imagine being there,” Andrea says. “My heart breaks just hearing about it. But you have to remember, Tyler, you got him out of there, alive.”

“I can’t lose him,” TK’s voice breaks, his eyes filling with tears as he looks up at Andrea.

“You won’t,” she shakes her head. “He’s going to come back to us. Come back to you. You saved him, amor.”

From the way Andrea is looking at him, TK immediately reads into her words. The meaning of her words are oceans-deep, which he catches on through the soft look on her face. She doesn’t mean TK saved Carlos just from the fire. She means that he saved him.

“He saved me, too. In so many ways. I can’t even begin to explain,” a small smile spreads on TK’s face. “I had my walls up when we first got here, I didn’t want to be here. I felt numb all the time, got through the days and they all blended together. But then Carlos walked into my life, with his charm, kind heart and those beautiful, expressive brown eyes,” he lets out a wet chuckle. “I could get lost in them for days.”

Andrea chuckles the same, her own eyes now glistening with unshed tears.

“And slowly, those walls started coming down, and it scared me. It scared me to bits. Opening up in the past almost destroyed me, and I was so adamant about not opening up again anytime soon. I tried running away but I couldn’t stay away from him. There was this invisible string, pulling us back together. There were so many reasons for him to walk away if he wanted to, and I wouldn’t have blamed him. But he didn’t. He stayed, through it all. And I remember the moment I realized I wanted him to stay, and then it didn’t scare me anymore. Opening up didn’t scare me anymore. I knew we were meant to be together. It felt safe. He felt safe. I can’t put it into any other words except that he saved me, in every way a person can be saved,” TK pours his heart out, a tear slips and rolls down his cheek as he looks at Carlos, a gentle smile adorning his face, eyes radiating love and warmth it takes Andrea’s breath away.

“I didn’t know what it was at first,” she speaks after a few moments of silence.

TK turns his gaze to her.

“I noticed a difference in my son,” she continues. “He seemed…happier, lighter. We would see him on Sundays at his Tia Lucy’s place every week, sometimes he wouldn’t stay for long, other days he would stay, but he’d be quiet. But then one Sunday, I looked at his face and saw light. His eyes were brighter, smile wider. It felt like I got my son back. I didn’t know what had happened, and I didn’t ask, but it uplifted my heart. Knowing what I know now, I can tell that that change happened when you decided you wanted him to stay. When you let him in. You breathed fresh air into my Carlitos.”

Andrea gets up and walks around the bed. She carefully sits on the edge of the mattress so she’s facing TK.

She reaches out, taking the young man’s hands into her own and squeezes and her voice is filled with tenderness and joy. “Thank you for bringing my son back to me, Tyler.”

TK’s smile widens, more tears flowing down his cheeks. He looks at Carlos when he says his next words: “We saved each other.”

[reyescarlos]

all through the night || a tarlos fic

❄️ @911giftexchange fic for @buckieys ❄️

happy holidays, sy! i'm wishing you a wonderful and prosperous new year. i hope this fic helps to usher in 2021 right!

word count: 5.2k || read on ao3

All through the night I'll be awake and I'll be with you All through the night This precious time when time is new

When Carlos envisioned winter in New York, his elaborate fantasies had somehow managed to eclipse the reality of what it might actually entail. He had enjoyed his brief stay, taking in the window displays along Fifth Avenue. It had long since been something he wanted to see for himself and the storefronts had more than delivered. But on the flipside of such a picturesque scene has come the downside of what heavy amounts of snow could mean.

It’s why he finds himself now planted in a too hard seat at JFK Airport, wondering how he’ll possibly fill his time now that his flight has been delayed until morning. Outside the blizzard rages on with no real end in sight and Carlos mulls over the merits of his decision to leave Texas in the New Year and make this city his home. This is a far cry from Austin. He’d once thought winter temperatures there could be bad but it’s been nothing compared to the arctic blast in the North.

He tries to keep busy with a book but his attention is split between the words before him and the cute guy across from him frantically digging inside his backpack, a phone teetering dangerously on his knee.

“God, where is that stupid thing,” the man mumbles to himself. “Come on charger, where are you?”

Carlos looks away, burying his head in his book to hide the smile that breaks out on his face. The guy is obviously peeved but Carlos can’t help but to find his muttering endearing. After another moment of fruitless searching on the stranger’s end, Carlos takes mercy on him.

“Here, you can borrow mine,” he says, unzipping his own backpack and fishing out his charger.

The man sighs in relief. “Thank you. I really appreciate it,” he replies, reaching over and taking the cord from Carlos.

He settles back and plugs it into the wall, the screen lighting up a moment later. Carlos smiles politely and gets back to reading, only to be interrupted.

“So, I take it you’re heading down to visit family before the new year comes, huh?” the stranger says.

Carlos looks up from his book, head tilting slightly. It hadn’t been expecting the man to strike up a conversation.

“Sorry, awkward small talk. I’ll let you get back to it,” he says, face scrunching as he gestures to the book in Carlos’ hands.

Carlos waves him off, bookmarking his page and closing it.

“No worries. We’re here all night so...plenty of time for that.” He licks his lips and drums his fingers against the front. “To answer your question though, no. Austin is actually my home so I’m just heading back.”

“Oh, cool. I’m going to see my dad. I thought he’d want to do the whole white Christmas, New York for the New Year thing but ever since he moved down to Austin last year, I think he’s gotten spoiled by the warmer weather.”

The man looks out of the window where the snow is swirling so heavily it’s hard to even see the sky or planes sitting idly on the tarmac.

“Guess I can’t exactly blame him.”

Carlos laughs. “It’s disgustingly cold here and all of that,” he says, gesturing to the storm, “doesn’t help. I don’t know how you guys manage.”

“You get used to it. I’ve only ever grown up with it so while I like to complain about the snow at times, I can’t picture this time of year without it. It’s been a few years since it’s been this bad though, I’ll admit.”

Carlos smiles a bit, looking out of the window briefly. “This is actually my first time experiencing snow. And the city was gracious enough to give me a blizzard to commemorate.”

The man smiles at this thoughtfully. He sits up, stretching his hand out across the aisle towards Carlos.

“I’m TK, by the way.”

Carlos touches his fingertips to his forehead before shaking TK’s hand.

“God, my mother would be so ashamed of my manners right now,” he laughs. “I’m Carlos. It’s nice to meet you.”

He lets go, his palm feeling extremely warm from TK’s touch. TK smiles at him, a slow grin that ultimately reveals his teeth. This man is very good looking, there’s no denying that. He’s got an easy way about him that makes Carlos feel comfortable in his presence as if they’re old friends catching up and not perfectly good strangers meeting for the first time.

TK’s phone buzzes, stealing his attention and Carlos is all too grateful for it. TK types something on the device for a few seconds before pausing.

“Sorry, excuse me for a second,” he says, putting his phone to his ear.

Carlos nods and gestures for him to go for it.

“Hey, Dad. I—,” TK starts out but stops short as his father speaks. “I bet it’s all over the news but I’m alright. Not looking forward to being stuck here overnight but,” he continues, his eyes landing on Carlos and away so quickly Carlos is sure he’s imagined it. “I guess there are worse ways to be trapped for a few hours.”

Carlos looks away then, cracking open his book again to keep himself occupied while TK chats with his father. He tries not to dwell heavily on TK’s look or what the implications of that glance could mean. It could’ve been a coincidence and nothing more. All the same, it doesn’t make his heart race any less to think that TK feels a spark too.

TK ends the call with a sigh, stretching out his legs before bouncing one of them. The gesture is distracting but endearing. For the second time, Carlos closes his book, this time putting it back into his bag for good as TK speaks to him again.

“Are you hungry? I could go for a bite.”

“I could eat,” Carlos says. He rises from his seat as TK does, both men dragging their carry-ons along with them.

They follow the winding path down from their gate, Carlos taking notice of all the fellow flyers now forced to wait out the storm. Some have taken to stretching out on the ground, laying on top of jackets like makeshift sleeping bags, others keeping busy with phones and tablets, hunched over in chairs.

Carlos isn’t looking forward to the uncomfortable sleep he’ll have tonight but as he looks over at TK, he wonders just how much rest he’ll actually manage to get. The guy is already proving himself to be a good way to pass the time and Carlos can’t say he wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to keep chatting with him.

As they approach the cluster of food stands, TK groans and it’s easy to see why. Many of the shops are already closed, no doubt the employees hurrying home before the worst of the storm kicked in. All that’s available now is Cinnabon but Carlos supposes that can suffice as dinner.

TK orders a hot chocolate and a classic roll while Carlos opts for a cold brew in addition to a roll as well. TK eyes the drink with raised brows.

“I’m fully committing to the cause of being awake until we board, apparently,” Carlos muses, pushing his straw through the lid and taking a sip. “Worth it.”

The two head to a nearby empty table, settling into their elevated seats before unloading their food. The scent coming off the baked goods is incredible and Carlos’ stomach suddenly feels desperate for a bite.

“So, Carlos, since we’ve nominated each other for the buddy system while we wait this storm out,” he jokes, “Why don’t you tell me more about yourself?”

Carlos drums his fingers on the tabletop as he tries to decide what to share.

“Well, you already know that Austin is where I’m from but the whole reason I’m even here now is because I’m going to be moving to New York soon. I’ll be transferring next month.”

TK’s brows raise. “Seriously? That’s awesome. Do you mind if I ask what you do?”

“I’m a police officer. I’ve been with the Austin Police Department for a few years but I’ve been considering leaving Texas for a little while now and I’ve been exploring my options. For some reason my mind kept coming back to the idea of New York and I figured I should just take the chance and see what happens.”

TK laughs and shakes his head. “Oh man, well, we have something in common, more or less. I’m with the NYFD myself.”

Carlos holds up a hand. “Wait, wait, wait. You’re a firefighter?” he laughs.

TK puffs out his chest jokingly and nods with a grin on his face. “That’s right. Ladder 252.”

Carlos does his best to push the image of TK in uniform from mind but the picture is an appealing one. He can see it so clearly, the way he’d look in suspenders, not to mention full gear. It’s almost unfair just how much hotter the man becomes as if Carlos hasn’t spent this whole time finding him attractive. He picks up his drink again for something to do with his hands, swirling the straw inside of the cup.

“Small world. Outside of my own little bubble, I can’t say I casually meet many people who are first responders. We seem to be a pretty special breed to get into this line of work.”

TK laughs. “I fell into this because of my dad. He’s been a firefighter for years. He, uh, actually was on site during 9/11. I always thought he was incredible but knowing the full scope of what he and so many others did that day and for people in times of crisis, big and small in general, it just made me want to be like him.”

Carlos frowns, unsure of what to even say or think. “Your dad’s a hero.”

“I like to think so.” TK draws in a breath, squaring his shoulders. “Anyway, now he’s kicking ass down in Texas so, even though I miss him as my captain, I know he’s doing great work with his crew down there.”

Curiosity gets the better of Carlos as he asks, “What station is he with?”

“The 126,” TK replies, taking a sip of his hot chocolate.

Carlos’ eyes widen. “Captain Owen Strand is your father?”

It makes sense the longer he looks at TK. Captain Strand is an attractive older guy and TK clearly got handed some solid genes. Still, it throws him for a loop to realize they have a legitimate connection to each other.

TK tilts his head to the side. “You know him? Shit, okay, wow, small world just got a whole hell of a lot smaller.”

“Unbelievable,” Carlos laughs in disbelief. “I don’t know him that well but we work together sometimes on calls. He’s amazing in the field and he’s really turned that station around.”

TK practically beams. “Guess this means we’ll be seeing each other again soon once we finally make it to Austin then.”

“Uh, yeah. I guess so. Assuming you don’t get sick of me before this night is through, that is.”

TK holds Carlos’ gaze for a moment and if it were anyone else, it would be unnerving but something in TK’s stare just sends a thrill through Carlos, excites him in a way no stranger has ever really gotten under his skin.

“I don’t see that happening,” he says plainly, as if this is an irrefutable fact and not something that’s truly subject to change.

Carlos doesn’t argue the point. He merely enjoys the next few hours, seeing just how easily TK’s theory pans out.

~*~*~

The contrast in weather between New York and Austin is one of the first things Carlos’ remarks on as he steps outside of Austin-Bergstrom. He’s never been more grateful for a forty degree afternoon. He’s kept Michelle updated about his new set time and he waits patiently outside of arrivals. Beside him now, TK types out a message on his phone before smiling over at him.

Carlos has had hours to get used to that look on TK’s face and yet he’s still brought up short. Last night and the early morning hours were spent talking to TK about everything imaginable, trading stories about crazy calls they’ve been on and even touching on personal things like their families. When they grew tired of talking, they watched movies on TK’s laptop, fighting off the urge to sleep for the mere sake of hanging out.

It isn’t rare for Carlos to become friendly with a person but this connection to TK feels different in a way he can’t quite parse.

By the time their flight boarded, Carlos knocked out for the entire length of the trip but it had been worth it in his eyes to stay up and take advantage of the uninterrupted time that stretched before him with TK. It was safe to say a bit of a crush had formed, as absurd as Carlos felt for it. TK was going to be in town for the next few days and that prospect was both thrilling and terrifying. If he could feel this close to TK in one night, there’s no telling what could happen in a few days.

Before he can get lost in that thought, Carlos sees Michelle as she pulls up to the curb, the trunk popping open.

“Are you good out here?”

“My dad’s coming in just a minute. I’ll be just fine,” TK muses as Carlos puts his carry-on inside and slams the trunk shut.

“Alright, well. You have my number now so text me whenever you’re free. I’ll show you a few places while you’re here.”

Carlos extends his hand but TK rolls his eyes jokingly and pulls him into a half hug instead.

“We’ve spent the night together, Carlos. I think we’re past handshakes now.”

Carlos’ face burns with TK’s wording but the man merely laughs.

“See you soon?”

Carlos just nods and finds the wherewithal to get inside of Michelle’s car. He waves after he buckles himself in, TK lifting a hand in response.

“Okay, who is that?” Michelle asks immediately, head turned to take in the sight of TK.

Carlos tips his head back against the seat. “You won’t believe the night I’ve had.”

~*~*~

Carlos has spent two days showing TK some of his favorite stomping grounds. TK relished in all that Austin had to offer and Carlos has been happy to see that their closeness from the unexpected overnight at the airport hadn’t been a fluke. If anything, these outings have only made Carlos feel closer to TK.

Michelle has been relentless in her teasing, finding it all too amusing that Carlos managed to cross paths with Captain Strand’s son of all people. She’d clung to his every word during the ride home from the airport as he filled her in on how he waited out the storm.

The 126 meets at their usual bar and Carlos is glad for this post-work gathering. It’s the perfect time to show TK what a real honky-tonk is like, further immersing him in the culture of the state his father now resides.

TK sits next to him at the table, the large group so packed in that his leg presses against Carlos’. It’s light but it’s enough to make the point of contact all Carlos can focus on even as everyone else at the table engages in conversations that overlap, laughing amongst themselves. He does his best to ignore it but it’s difficult not to take notice of each shift TK makes. Michelle keeps looking at him and Carlos, to the best of his abilities, avoids her gaze knowing that it’ll make it just that much more difficult to act as if he isn’t freaking out internally.

“I’m gonna get another. You want anything?” Carlos asks TK.

TK shakes his head. “No, I’m alright but thank you though.”

Carlos nods once and gets up, finding it much easier to breathe already now that he’s no longer sitting beside TK. Michelle catches his eye as he leaves from the table and he can hear her shoes as she follows behind him to the bar. She rests against the counter facing the room at large as Carlos gets the attention of the bartender and asks for another beer.

“You sure know how to pick them,” Michelle laughs at his side.

“Chelle,” he groans, shaking his head.

She merely laughs again, bumping her hip against his. “When did your life become a romantic comedy?”

“I must’ve missed the memo myself because this sure snuck up on me.”

The bartender sets a bottle down in front of him but Carlos doesn’t move. This little reprieve away from everyone but Michelle right now is welcome.

“I like him. He’s nice. Really cute too.”

“Oh, so you’ve noticed?” he deadpans, looking over his shoulder at TK.

He looks so at home here, hanging out and laughing with these people he’s, up until now, only known secondhand from his father’s work stories. TK is personable as ever, Carlos knows all too well. Had he not been swept away after one night in the man’s company?

“I think this is so great.”

“Funny, I think it’s the universe trying to mess with me.”

Michelle scoffs, finally turning to face the bar like him. “There are worse things in the world than a seemingly perfect guy practically falling into your lap. We should all be so lucky.”

Carlos casts the mental image aside, taking a sip of his drink. “The timing though. I can’t think about guys right now. I need to be figuring out my next set of moves for New York.”

“If those plans just so happen to include an attractive new friend…,” she trails off with a grin.

“I don’t know. I don’t want to screw this up because yeah, he is a new friend and we get along well, it’s a good feeling.”

“Do you like him?”

Carlos falters. “I barely even know the guy.”

“That’s not even remotely close to what I asked you.”

Carlos scratches at his forehead before letting out a sigh. “I do. Which hardly makes any sense at all. It’s only been a few days and yet I can’t stop thinking about him. That’s strange, isn’t it?”

Michelle shakes her head. “No, actually. I don’t think so. You guys had such a cute introduction to each other and you clearly hit it off. Some people just click and are meant to meet. The fact that you two had a connection to each other beforehand without even knowing it? I think there’s something to be said for that.”

“What, you think it’s fate or something?”

Michelle shrugs. “I wouldn’t rule it out. Your flight could have been a day earlier or even a few hours before his. On a plane filled with hundreds, you connected with him, Captain Strand’s son who just so happens to live in the city you’re about to move to. I think it’s worth seeing just how far it could go. If you ask me, you’ll wind up with a boyfriend in no time.”

Carlos mulls it over for a moment. He can admit he is in fact curious. It’s been a while since he’s felt this drawn to someone and with TK, it’s been as natural as breathing since they first met. The timing is less than ideal but it’s been so long since Carlos has felt this urge to get close to someone, since he’s felt safe enough to even open his mind and heart up to the possibility.

“Maybe you’re onto something.”

“One of these days you’ll learn to just accept my brilliance, no questions asked. But this will do for now.”

Carlos rolls his eyes but drapes an arm over her shoulder, pulling her into his side and kissing her temple.

“I’m going moments like this with you,” he says.

Michelle sighs and pats his back. “I will too but we still have time on the clock, right? Let’s not think about that now.”

Carlos sighs, knowing she’s right. It just feels as if these moments are slipping through his fingers, the new year and all its changes lurking just around the corner.

~*~*~

As customary, the Ryder house is the staple for parties among the team and New Year’s Eve is no different. Carlos has lost track of how many times he’s sat on their couch or been treated for Grace’s incredible home-cooking. It’s always been a source of comfort for him, being surrounded by these colleagues who have become an extended family to him.

This time next year, he’ll be in another time zone, familiarized with a new group of people. Carlos knows he’s jumping the gun. There’s no doubt in his mind that he’ll be able to visit back home and that this collection of people will still love him as they do now.

Carlos looks around the living room, taking stock: Marjan blowing into a noise maker in Mateo’s face and bursting into laughter, Paul shaking his head and dropping his face into his palm. Over by the kitchen he sees Grace and Judd swaying to the music playing as Captain Strand takes Michelle’s hand and begins dancing alongside the other couple. It warms Carlos’ heart and breaks it too, seeing this all for what will be the last time with this city being home.

Suddenly the room feels too small and he finds himself heading for the door, grabbing his jacket off of the coat rack. It’s cold out but Carlos remembers just how bitter the weather in New York was. This is nothing compared to that. And it’s this thought that twists at his heart a bit more, one more reminder of how much his life is set to change sooner than he thinks he’s ready for.

The new year is biting at his heels and time is just slipping by. Logically he knows that he shouldn’t be outside now, that he would be wise to savor these memories with his Austin crew while they’re here rather than lament later. But it all feels like too much and the last thing he wants is to let his pensive mood be a dark cloud over a celebratory and joyous time.

Carlos keeps walking until he reaches the park nearby the Ryder household. Naturally it’s abandoned as everyone is tucked away inside their homes either enjoying a quiet night in or throwing parties like the Ryders. Carlos draws in a breath and takes a seat on one of the swings, his fingers clutching on to the links. He quickly stands up the second he hears footsteps approaching, a figure walking towards him.

“It’s just me,” comes TK’s voice and sure enough the man’s features come into focus the closer he gets until he’s settling into the swing beside Carlos.

“I saw you take off. I just wanted to check that you were okay.”

Carlos smiles a bit. “I appreciate it. I’m okay. I’m just...thinking about a lot right now.”

TK sways on his swing, letting a comfortable silence fall between them before he speaks.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Carlos’ heart and thoughts feel so heavy now, such a contrast to how lighthearted and hopeful this holiday is meant to be. But TK looks at him with such genuine care that he finds himself almost desperate to unburden himself a bit.

“Sometimes I wish I could just stop time, you know? But hell, it’s New Year’s Eve. What more proof do I need that life is always moving forward?”

Carlos sighs and rocks slightly back and forth.

“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be a downer. You should head on back inside, have fun with the others.”

TK is silent beside him, long enough for Carlos to pull his gaze toward the other man. TK is eyeing him thoughtfully.

“You’re scared about what comes next. That’s totally normal. Moving away, starting a new life somewhere else, it’s a big step. A huge change.”

Carlos frowns as he nods. “I wish I could see the end, you know? I wish I could see if it’s all worth it, that I’m making the right choice.”

TK hums in thought. “Well, the best way out is through, right?”

“So you don’t think it’s a mistake to move out to New York?”

TK shrugs. “I don’t know you well enough to say one way or the other for sure. But no, I don’t think it is. I think the fact that you’re even considering it at all should tell you something about how you feel about where you are now.”

Carlos grows quiet, considering the man’s words. But TK isn’t done dishing out his opinion.

“You’ve got an amazing team here, there’s no denying that. It’s a real family, not to mention your actual family is here too. But—and mind you I’m super biased here— New York is an amazing place to be, to live. If you’re feeling restless in Austin, I think New York is the perfect alternative.”

Carlos laughs at this. “So, so biased,” he muses.

TK jokingly puffs up his chest. “Hey, it’s not my fault people have written songs about it and flock to it from all corners of the world,” he jokes. “And all of them, like you would, find home.”

A soft sigh escapes Carlos’ lips as he grips the chain link of the swing.

“That does actually sound pretty nice. I’d miss everyone here like crazy but maybe it’s time for something new? I don’t know. I keep waiting for something extraordinary to happen but nothing ever really changes around here. And there’s nothing wrong with that, of course. I just—“

“You’ve outgrown it,” TK says simply. “And there’s nothing wrong with that either.”

Carlos smiles at him and nods. “I suppose not, no.”

“At least you’ll come to the city knowing someone; you won’t be alone or completely starting from scratch.”

“You? You would take that on?”

TK rolls his eyes. “Of course me. You think I’d leave you high and dry? Damn, I know New Yorkers have a bit of a rep but jeez,” he teases.

Carlos laughs. “I only meant...you barely even know me. You don’t owe me anything.”

“Maybe so but I’d like to get to know you better. And if we’re gonna be calling the same city home, it’s kind of perfect. You get a new job, a new city, a new friend. Pretty sweet package, if you ask me.”

“You’ll be my tour guide then? You can take me to all the hot spots, Central Park and Times Square for starters.”

TK shakes his head in dismay. “God, Times Square,” he groans. “Hell on earth but sure, just for you I’d make the exception.”

“I’m honored,” Carlos says, placing a hand over his heart.

“As you should be. There aren’t many reasons I’d willingly go there so you should be patting yourself on the back right now.”

Carlos raises a brow. “But you’re thinking I’d be worth it?”

TK’s face grows serious. “In a lot of ways I’m thinking you would be, yes.”

Carlos' face flushes a bit and he looks away, down at his feet as he begins to kick out in earnest to start swinging.

Not for the first time since meeting TK he isn’t sure if there’s more to his words just below the surface, if he’s flirting or just being naturally charismatic. It shouldn’t matter either way, Carlos tells himself. Starting up a new relationship when so much in his life is already about to change doesn’t seem smart.

And yet it’s difficult to bear that in mind when he looks over and sees that TK is still watching him. The man smiles softly and follows Carlos' lead, swinging a bit.

In the distance Carlos can hear the rise in voices from houses where everyone is celebrating, just waiting to usher in the new year.

“One minute to go,” TK says, looking at the time on his watch and digging his feet into the ground to stop himself.

Carlos keeps going, breathing in the last dregs of this year before it’s gone with the tick of the clock. He looks up at the pinpricks of stars above, almost glistening in the clear sky. He closes his eyes, soaks in the moment, the last few seconds of this year winding down.

The New Years party goers can be heard shouting their countdown and beside him, TK joins in quietly as well.

10

9

8

7

Carlos opens his eyes once more and holds his breath as he upward, counting down the last few seconds in his head. This year is going, going...

3

2

1

Gone.

He exhales as shouts from the neighboring houses rent the air. He stops swinging then, digging his feet into the hard earth beneath him as he looks over at TK. Beside him the man’s face is flushed, the tip of his nose pink from the cold but his gaze is unrelenting as he leans forward.

Carlos’ body seems to move on its own accord, closing the distance between them as well. He doesn’t think about anything other than what TK’s lips will feel like and before he realizes it, he’s getting his answer.

It’s a chaste kiss, truly just a meeting of mouths in a gentle press but it warms Carlos from the center all the way through his entire body. TK’s lips are soft and warm despite the cold.

“Happy New Year, Carlos,” TK says softly.

Carlos doesn’t have the slightest clue of what the road ahead will look like exactly but it’s enough to know that in some capacity, TK is going to be a part of it. Be it as a friend or something more, it makes Carlos hopeful to see how life will unfold, what other surprises it may have in store.

Carlos stares at him for a moment and it seems as if TK and the whole world is holding its breath as they sit in silence together. This feeling in his chest is so unlike anything Carlos has experienced before. He likes to think things through, to anticipate at least three steps ahead but his future is such a blank slate that it’s truly anyone’s guess as to what will happen next. All he can do is control this present moment and as Carlos sees it, kissing TK is the only thing on his agenda for right now.

He leans in again and kisses the man once more, deeply this time, hand cradling the back of TK’s neck.

Maybe this is risky, maybe this will only complicate his life further when he settles in New York and has to figure out what this all means. But in this moment, that all feels like a lifetime away, a page from a chapter that hasn’t been written yet. There’s only the here and now with this beautiful man that fills him with possibilities.

[trashforhockeyguys]

Don’t Hold Me -4- Carter Hart

A/N: As always all previous parts are linked in my masterlist  Alrighty folks, it’s about to get going now. Hold onto your hats. It’ll be full speed ahead soon.

Your eyes peeled open. The room was too quiet. No roommate making noise, or guy trying to sneak out. The bed was too soft and big, you felt like it went on for days, compared to your tiny twin at school. That’s when you realized you weren’t in your dorm. 

You had no idea where you were. You didn’t recognize the room you were in, it wasn’t Travis’s, or even Nolan’s. You started to panic even more when you realized you weren’t in your own clothes. 

You sat up quickly, the whole room spun around you. You could hardly remember a thing about last night, much less actually leaving the party, wherever it was. Which scared you. You didn’t know where your phone was, or where you were. Or why you weren’t in your own clothes, in a strange bed. 

The panic started to set in, you needed to figure out where you were. But more importantly, how you got here. This wasn’t like you. Hell, getting black out drunk was something you did once, and you still regretted that decision and vowed never to do it again. 

You threw the covers off and started to rush out of the bedroom before you tripped over something and fell flat on your face. 

“What the fuck, Y/N?”

You flipped yourself over and scrambled away, “Carter? What the hell?”

“You stepped on me, you don’t get to be mad,” He argued, sitting up.

“How the hell did I get here? And why was I in your bed?”

“You don’t remember?”

You could feel the panic rise, surely you hadn’t done anything with Carter.  If you did anything with him you’d likely die. That was the one thing you didn’t want. 

“Relax, I picked you up because Travis called me. I brought you back here because you said you didn’t have your key. You passed out on the couch and then threw up all over yourself, so I got you to change into some fresh clothes and tucked you in, like a gentleman,” He explained.

“Why are you sleeping on the floor?”

He shrugged, “You were up and down all night, figured I’d better stay close in case you needed me to hold your hair back again.”

“You? I’m sorry, you what?”

“I held your hair back, while you threw up, multiple times. And had to force you to eat toast and drink some water.”

Your face heated up. No way did you ever want anyone to see you like that. Much less Carter. Who knows what you told him last night. You could’ve said anything and he probably wouldn’t tell you. He would just tell TK and probably laugh about whatever it was. 

You made a mistake by letting him take you, you should’ve just waited for TK to finally come for you. He would’ve come eventually. He wouldn’t have left me alone there. Ethan...oh god, your big brother. You were on the phone with him. Did he know you were okay? Did he even know what happened to you?

“Where is my phone? I need to call my brother.”

“Relax. He knows you’re fine. TK even came over to check on you last night, but you were already out of it. He offered to take you, but kinda figured it’d be best to leave you.”

“Take me? You make me sound like I’m a burden.”

He cursed and stood up. Since you were still on the floor he towered over you, making you feel like a small child. You just wished that you could disappear. You never should have left your dorm yesterday Why did you have to be so stupid? Again?

“Hey, no I didn’t mean it like that,” He replied, “It was actually nice having you here, didn’t enjoy the throwing up, but I actually got to see a little bit of that girl Travis always talks about.”

“He talks about me?”

“Yeah, him and Nolan. They always talk about how funny you are, and laid back, and how you’re kind of like one of the guys and a sister all wrapped up into one.”

He offered a hand to help you up. You reluctantly took it and followed him through the apartment. You’d never even seen his place before, but he seemed to have every curtain and blind pulled so it wasn’t overly bright. He lead you to the kitchen and pointed to a stool before going and rummaging in the fridge.

You stayed silent. You wanted to figure out just what happened last night, but you were scared to actually ask what happened. You were afraid to know. The fact that you blacked out scared you. Being out of control like that, not knowing what you’d done...that wasn’t you. 

You nearly jumped out of your own skin when he touched your shoulder a few minutes later. Without even thinking, you slid out of the bar stool and took a few steps back, needing the put distance between you two. 

“I’m sorry,” He quickly said, trying to calm you, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Just don’t… Don’t touch me.”

“Okay, back to that again. Got it,” He replied softly, “I’m not going to hurt you, Y/N.”

You hugged yourself, pulling on the sleeves of the shirt that was much too big for you. You just wanted to disappear. Become so much smaller than you were and just vanish. The way he was looking at you, it was like he saw you. The thought of it made you uncomfortable. You didn’t want to be seen. You just wanted to vanish. 

“I shouldn’t be here.” 

“Okay, I’ll get my keys and take you back. Your roommate should be back by now, it’s the afternoon.”

“No. I’d rather just walk.”

“I’m not letting you walk back to campus.” He replied, “If you don’t want to get into the car with me, that’s fine. But at least let me call TK to come get you.”

“No. I can manage just fine on my own! I don’t need anyone to babysit me!”

He groaned and turned around. He took a few steps away from where he was standing. The whole feeling in the room changed to something you couldn’t figure out. You got the feeling that he was mad at you now. 

He had no real right to be mad, he didn’t know you. This was the longest conversation you’d ever had with him, and it was because you’d likely thrown up on him the night before. You two had no obligations to one another. 

“You know, I actually liked spending time with you last night, when you weren’t calling me an asshole or throwing up.”

“Oh, so I have to be drunk for you to decide you like me?”

“No. God that’s not what I-” He rubbed his face and took a deep breath, “I don’t know what you’re so afraid of, all the time, but last night you weren’t. You were just you. Sorry that I actually enjoyed spending time with you.”

You shook your head, “You know nothing about me. Don’t act like you do.”

“And there she is again,” He laughed almost sadly, “Closed off and scared that someone might actually see you.”

You took another step back, like his words actually hit you in the chest. You hadn’t expected him to say anything like that, it almost scared you. You didn’t want this. You didn’t ask for him to question everything. You just wanted to leave, you wanted to get away. You didn’t want to be around him anymore.

“Stop acting like you know me! We aren’t friends, Carter. We just know the same people, that’s it.” 

“Wow, okay. I will go get your clothes from the dyer, and we’ll get you an uber then.”

“Perfect.”

But as he walked away, you felt like a knife was stabbing your gut. Like maybe you pushed him too far. You didn’t want anyone else, you didn’t need anyone else. But he’d taken care of you. The way he looked at you..he cared. You weren’t sure why, but he cared. 

As much as you wanted to like that, you couldn’t. The thought of someone else wanting to be a part of your life was terrifying to you. You liked having the small group that you had. Just Travis and Patty here, maybe your roommate when both of you were getting along. It was easier, safer. 

“Here, I washed them. Change or keep what you have on, I don’t care,” He dropped your clothes onto the counter, “Your phone is plugged up over there. TK will be here in five to get you.” 

“Carter, I-”

“I’m going to shower, I smell like cheap beer. Have a nice day.”

And so not even half an hour later you found yourself stomping back into your dorm, followed closely by Travis. He was trying to get you to tell him what happened. But all you wanted to do was yell at him for leaving you the way that he did. 

Your roommate was sitting at her desk, working on something for one of her classes when you threw the door open. Travis didn’t yet understand why you were angry with him, but he was about to. 

“C’mon, it’s Carter he’s harmless!”

“That’s not the point! C’mon Travis! Did you seriously think it was a good idea to leave me with someone I don’t know? Do you have any idea how scared I was when I woke up? I don’t know Carter, I don’t want to know him! And you forced us on each other!”

“It wasn’t like that! I was busy.”

“Oh yeah? With what?”

“I was just busy,” He replied. 

“You were with a girl. So you set someone I’ve talked to twice, two freaking times, pick me up when I literally couldn’t even see straight. I didn’t know where I was, or who I was. And you let him come get me, and take me back to his place. Do you understand how stupid that was?” You yelled. 

“It’s not like he was a stranger, Y/N. It’s Carter, he wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

“You’re missing the damn point Travis! You left me alone! You have no idea what could’ve happened to me but you were too busy with your whoever to care!”

“Is that what you really think? Seriously? After all these years?”

“Get out of my room.”

“Y/N-”

“Get out of my dorm Travis!”

That’s when your roommate finally got up and stepped between you. She held you behind her with one arm, while the other pushed Travis away. She’d never gotten in the middle like this before. She always just let you fight it out and deal with it on your own. 

“She said go. So I would before I call someone to make you leave,” She said calmly, “I doubt that would reflect well on the team.”

“Seriously?”

“Get out of here, she doesn’t want you here right now.”

He shook his head and took a step back, “Shut me out too, that’s okay. I’ll be here when you decide you want to talk.”

You didn’t start crying until he was gone and the door shut behind him. Twice you’d pushed too hard, and you knew it too. Travis was the best thing that ever happened to you, and you knew that. Yet you just pushed him away too. 

Before you knew what she was doing, your roommate sat you down on your bed and wrapped you up with your favorite blanket. She grabbed your little bear, that was old and ratty at this point, and put him in your arms so you could hold him. 

“It’s okay,” She told you quietly, “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

“I went too far.”

“He’s a puppy dog, and he loves you, he’s not going to leave you behind,” She promised, “He’ll probably leave some fast food outside the door later on as a peace offering. And I’m sure that other one will talk some sense into him.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, it’s okay. I’m the one who dragged you out last night. I should’ve let you stay here.”

You shook your head and allowed her to hold onto you. For once you needed to be held. And although she wasn’t all bad, she wasn’t who you wanted to be held by. She wasn’t who you needed. But you weren’t sure if you’d ever have who you needed. Not after the way you acted. He was gone now.

[officerrxyes-inactive]

In the Darkest Days

(read on ao3)

Summary:  TK's having a bad mental health day... It's a good thing he has his dad and Carlos to look out for him.

CW: Depression and depressive thoughts.

From the moment TK wakes up, he can tell it will be one of those days. He can feel the weight of the day pushing down on every inch of his body and just the thought of leaving the security of his bed is enough to make him wish he could just fade away to avoid all of his responsibilities. Yes, the dark cloud is hanging over Tyler Kennedy Strand’s head, and it isn't going away anytime soon.

But fading away isn't an option for him today. He can hear his dad downstairs making breakfast. They both have a shift in an hour. Taking note of the current time, he knows he needs to get up so he forces his body through the motions of getting out of bed and decides to take a shower. He’s not normally a morning showers person, usually opting for quick showers when he’s on shift and a longer one when he gets home at night. However, he thinks that maybe the steaming water will wake him up enough for his body, and his brain, to take the hint that shutting down is not an option.

Getting in the shower, he turns the water temperature all the way up so that the water is nearly burning his skin. He knows he should take the time to wash up, but it’s as if his mind and body are not connected. Instead, he just stands there, letting the water droplets roll off of his body and down the drain. After minutes of doing nothing except waste hot water he finally is able to convince his body to turn off the shower and grab a fresh towel.

By the time he gets himself dressed and downstairs he’s already mentally and physically exhausted. It’s also nearly time for them to leave for the station. He feels bad that he’s holding his dad up, yet his thoughts are too clouded for him to dwell on it too much. Reaching the bottom of the stairs, he is greeted by his dad’s always enthusiastic demeanor.

“Morning,” Owen says to him. “How do you want your eggs today?”

“I’m not hungry.”

Owen looks up at him, taking in his son's disheveled appearance. He must really look bad because he watches his dad’s face soften as he sighs. “Why don’t you take the shift off and go back to bed?”

He’s aware that his dad is always able to notice the signs that he is having a particularly bad day. The fact that he picked up on it right away though doesn’t make it any better.

“It’s fine, I’ll be fine.” He lies, knowing he won’t be. But that doesn’t mean he needs to take special treatment just because his dad also happens to be his captain. Everyone has bad days, he tells himself. They power through it and so can he.

Except his bad days are more than just bad days. A fact that he and his dad are both aware of.

Owen just shakes his head, not taking “no” for an answer. “TK, please. Just go back to bed. I can bring a floater in for your shift and I will tell the rest of the team you are taking a sick day. Please. You won’t be able to help anyone in this mental state.”

TK knows his team would understand; however, he isn’t sure he is ready to disclose to his team that his mental health is bad enough to warrant a day off. He appreciates that his dad understands that without him having to explain it.

“Okay,” he resigns without arguing about it anymore. Arguing takes energy. Energy that he does not have today.

Owen walks over and places a kiss on his forehead. “You’ll call me if you need me, right?”

TK nods, giving his dad a small smile.

“Good,” Owen says, returning the smile and grabbing his keys before exiting their house.

Trodding back into his bedroom, TK takes out his phone to plug it in and sees that he has a missed text from Carlos.

Carlos: Are we still on for dinner tonight?

Sighing, as much he would love to see Carlos, TK knows there’s no way he’d be up for doing anything besides laying in his bed for the rest of the day.

TK: can’t tonight. sorry.

Shutting off his phone and placing it back on the nightstand, TK climbs back into his comfortable bed, ready to let his body shut down for the day.

~~~

Carlos frowns looking down at his phone. Canceling their dates on the day of wasn’t entirely unusual considering both of their hectic work lives. However, TK would normally offer up an explanation for why he had to cancel at the last minute, or at least more than the three words Carlos received today.

Slipping his phone back into his pocket, he devotes his attention back to the paperwork piling up on his desk. He did his best to stay on top of it but this week had been especially busy at work. All the more reason he was looking forward to seeing TK tonight.

Carlos doesn’t get more than a few lines done before he feels his phone buzzing again. He expects to see TK’s name on the caller ID but instead it reads “Captain Strand.” They had exchanged numbers not long after his relationship with TK became official, but this is the first time Owen has called him. He isn’t even sure how to answer the phone. No matter how many times the other man tells him to just call him “Owen,” Carlos still feels like he owes the man some respect and continues to strictly refer to him as “Captain Strand.”

Deciding to avoid the matter altogether, he answers with a simple “hello?”

“Hi Carlos, it’s Owen. I was wondering if you could do me a favor?”

“Hello sir. Yes of course. What can I do for you?”

“Would you be able to stop by our house and check on TK for me?”

“Sure, I don’t mind. Is everything okay? He did cancel our date for tonight…” Carlos trails off. He wonders what could possibly be going on with TK that he wouldn’t want to see him tonight. And why was Owen worried enough to send him to the rescue?.

“He’s just not feeling well but I bet a visit from you could help. I left a key under the doormat if you want to stop by sometime this afternoon.”

Owen’s response provides more questions than answers as far Carlos is concerned. He decides it’s better not to press the issue anymore though. “Oh, okay.”

“Thank you so much Carlos, I really appreciate it and TK will too.”

The two men hang up, leaving Carlos slightly worried and wondering what on earth is going on with his boyfriend.

~~~

TK isn’t exactly sure how much time has passed since his conversation this morning with his dad. The way the light has shifted in his room indicates that it’s been hours. Yet in his mind it feels like minutes. Or maybe it feels like days. He has no idea, really.

He hasn’t stopped staring up, lost in the trance of watching his ceiling fan spin around. He's tried to sleep but the thoughts in his head are too loud and he cannot find a way to shut them off. Instead, he is choosing to let them run around in his head and let him sink further into his depressive state.

His trance is broken by the sound of the front door opening and closing. TK didn’t think that much time had passed that his dad was home already. Maybe he came home early to check on him, he thinks to himself.

“TK?” the guest calls. The guest who clearly is not his dad as he thought.

Carlos, he realizes.

But TK thought he canceled their date. He should probably go down and see him. Ask why he came. But he can’t seem to move out the cocoon he made for himself in his bed.

Much to his relief, the other man opts for coming right up and softly knocks on the bedroom door before entering his room.

Carlos doesn’t say anything. Instead he walks over and perches himself on the bed, next to TK. He then starts to run his hands through TK’s hair. It feels amazing. He didn’t realize just much he craved someone to be here with him.

“I’m sorry,” TK mumbles into his pillow.

“Why are you apologizing?”

“I don’t know,” TK pauses before shifting so that he’s looking at Carlos. He knows his eyes are puffy from the on and off crying all day. If Carlos notices though, he doesn’t show any sign of it. “I didn’t want you to see me like this,” TK adds.

“Oh, baby…” Carlos replies.

Before TK can say anything else, Carlos stands up and moves to the other side of the bed, climbing in next to TK. Wrapping his arms around him to spoon him, TK immediately feels comforted by the other man’s presence. Melting into Carlos’ arms, relief floods over him and he can’t stop the tears from rolling down his face. Carlos only holds him tighter, allowing him to let go of all of his bottled emotions.

TK knows this certainly won’t be the last of his bad days. However, knowing he has someone who cares about him this much, through the highs and lows, is enough reassurance to know that he will be okay.

[braveclxrke]

911 Lone Star fic - 

TK struggles the cope with the aftermath of being shot; inner demons he thought he left behind in New York follow him to his new life.

Read all the chapters on Ao3 (chapter 1 below)

The pale light crept in from the window, filling the apartment with a warm glow. Carlos carefully rolled over in the bed, over the last weeks he’d gotten used to moving cautiously in the bed, not wanting to knock TK. However, as he moved, he couldn’t feel a body next to him, Carlos looks up to see that TK was nowhere in the room.

“TK?” Carlos called; his voice already filled with concern. Carlos threw the sheets off his bed, walking around the apartment “TK?” If Carlos were moving, he probably wouldn’t have heard it, a small faint voice.

“I’m fine” The voice was quiet, Carlos walked towards the bathroom, trying the door handle but finding it locked.

TK stood in the bathroom, his hands bracing the sink. TK had gotten out of the shower about five minutes ago and gotten dressed for work but was still stood facing the mirror, not being able to bring himself to leave the warm comfort of the bathroom. Today was his first day back at work, he’d been off for around ten days, his dad, the doctor and even Carlos had tried to convince him to take more time off, to heal more but TK wanted to get back, he needed to. “Everything alright?” Carlos called from outside. TK had been staying at Carlos most nights, wrapped up in the arms of the man he swore was just a one-night thing.

“I’m just getting ready. I’m fine” As TK spoke his chest felt tighten like someone had tried a rope around his lung pulling it tighter at every word. TK looked down at his watch. He sighed, a ragged cough following, TK clutched his chest and leaned over the sink, using his other hand to brace himself. TK squeezed his eyes shut, the pain radiating throughout his whole body. Eventually, he pushed himself up, looking into the mirror; TK looked tried, and he felt it. He hadn’t slept probably for days, every position in bed caused his chest to ache and burn, everything hurt; movement, drinking, eating. TK felt his stomach churn and felt goosebumps rise on his skin; maybe he was getting sick, coming down with the flu. TK sighed and headed towards the bathroom door and unclicked the lock, pausing for a moment before pushing open the door. The once warm, steamy air was suddenly cold, and clear. Carlos was stood in the middle of his room, dressed in sweats and a t-shirt, today was his day off, the sight of the man-caused the frigid room to feel a little warmer.

“You okay?” It seemed that was all anyone asked TK now, and his answer had never changed since he left the hospital.

“I’m fine” TK pushed a smile on his face, trying to soothe Carlos worries. From the look on his face, it wasn’t working, Carlos walked over to him, his eyes scanning his body and face, TK tried to keep the smile, but he could already feel it falling. Carlos came to a stop in front of him, after a moment or two he reached his hand up, bringing it to TK’s collar fixing a crease in it.

“You know you don’t have to do back?” Carlos didn’t make eye contact with TK, focusing on his collar. “The 126 would understand- “

“The doctor said I’m fine to go back” TK interrupted him, shifting on his feet.

“She said you could take a few weeks to heal, its barley been two weeks” Carlos finished with the collar smoothing it out. Carlos kept his hands on TK’s shoulders. He looked up at TK; his large eyes focused just on him “I know you’re feeling restless, and you want to help but…” TK kept his eyes on Carlos as the man seemed to search for the right words. Carlos moved one of his hands to cup TK’s cheek, causing TK to lean into to comfort, closing his eyes for a second. “-You’ve got to take care of yourself tiger.”

TK looked at Carlos and felt his chest tighten for another reason, and for once, he didn’t quite mind it. TK reached his hand up and placed it on top of Carlos “I will” He quietly said, a small reassuring smile on his face, Carlos matched it. TK leaned forward and placed a light kiss on Carlo’s lips, wanting to stay in the moment for longer but willing himself to pull away. After the solar flare, TK had made a lot of decisions, one of them being admitting to himself that Carlos was more than just a fling. The pair still didn’t know much about each other, but TK was enjoying getting to know the man; his favourite meal, his friends, his hobbies. The horn roared from outside, and both men looked towards the door. “I’ll see you tonight” Carlos smiled. TK gave another swift kiss to Carlos before heading out the door.

TK pulled open the front door; his father was stood outside his car, waiting for TK. His body was tense, arms over his chest, his shoulders tight, TK knew when his father was stressed, he’d seen it when his parents got divorced, when TK had gone out on his first call, his first overdose and now. Owen had made it clear that he had wanted TK to take more time off, to heal more, but TK couldn’t take it anymore, he was agitated and needed to get back to work.

“Morning,” His dad said in a cheerful voice, uncrossing his arms.

“You know I could’ve driven myself,” TK said, walking passes his farther towards the car.

“Nice to see you too son” TK could hear the sarcasm in his dad’s voice, “We agreed that if you’re going to come back, we’re going to do it on my rules okay” This time no sarcasm in his voice. TK paused for a moment before pulling open the car door, he slowly bent down to get into the car, his chest protesting the whole time. TK tried to steady his breathing, but he couldn’t quite get a handle of it, “You okay?” Owen asked, TK went to say something, but he couldn’t get the words out, like the rope around his chest had tightened around the words causing to them to become lodged in his throat “Son” TK looked over at his dad, his face was screwed up in worry. TK took a moment, making small breaths slowly until the burning passed.

“I’m fine, I’m okay” he breathed, sounding like he’d just run to the car.

There was a pause, Owen pulled his lip into a thin line. “If you need more time to-“

TK held his hands up “-I said I’m fine!” He yelled, “Can we just go please?” he muttered, with that TK turned away from his father facing out the window. There was a pause, the car hadn’t started, for a moment TK thought his dad wouldn’t leave, but then the car engine broke the silence, the car pulling out of the drive.

“So, for the first week or so I don’t want you on fire calls, the stress will be too much for your lung, even with the mask and everything” This was the other condition to coming back, one TK was still struggling with. “Other calls, we will decide case by case.”

“You mean you?” TK snapped, still staring out of the window as the scenery went past.

“Yes me, I know you TK you’ll think you’re ready and push yourself too far” It was clear TK’s attitude was starting to grate on his dad, he just wanted to keep his son safe and currently his son was being a dick. “Everyone is excited to see you, it’s all the 126 has spoken about all week, buttercup has missed you the most, won’t get off your bed” TK wanted to be excited, want to be eager to see the team again. Still, it just wasn’t there, and his mind was preoccupied, it had been since he left the hospital. TK reached into his pocket and pulled his headphones out, plugging them into his phone, trying to drown his mind in the music.

After what felt like the longest ride to the station, the pair pulled up. TK looked out of the window, the large doors to the fire station were open. TK stayed seated in the car, he thought once he saw the station, he would be excited, that all the doubt and worry in his mind would have been flushed out but as he sat there staring at what was his second home, his family he could only feel dread.

“Hey kiddo, you doin’ alright?” It was then that TK noticed his dad had gotten out of the car, walked around to TK side and was now crouched next to him, the car door open. “-And before you say ‘you’re fine’ you’re my kid, I know when you’re not okay” TK finally looked over at his dad, he looked exhausted, not only was he dealing with cancer, but now he had to take care of his son; it was meant to be the other way around. TK and his dad had always been close, talked about pretty much anything, and everything and his dad had always understood.

TK once again pushed a smile onto his face, turning to face his dad “Uhh just-just a little nervous to get back to work that’s all.”

His father reached up and cupped his sons face. “And that’s okay” His dad gave him one of his signature smiles before standing up and turning to face the station. TK followed suit, his hands nervously hanging at his side. As they turned the corner into the station, the team were cleaning the truck, chatting amongst themselves. After a moment the group turned around, hearing TK and Owen walking in.

Judd was the first to walk towards him, a subtle smile on his face “Hey kid” He said, his voice more quiet than usual. Judd pulled TK into the careful hug like he was holding a fragile bird.

As they pulled away, Paul came forward, shaking his head.

“Good to have you back kid hasn’t been the same without” With that Paul also pulled TK into a hug, being even more careful than Jud, giving his shoulder a squeeze as they parted

Before TK could respond, Marjan reached up for a hug, a soft smile on her face. Behind her was Mateo. “So, does this make you the probie now” Mateo gave TK a broad smile.

TK gave a small laugh, it is all his chest could conjurer. “Afraid not  probie ” TK joked, pulling the kid into a hug. As TK pulled away, he heard several little footsteps coming into the room, and then a loud bark.

“Buttercup!” TK beamed, the large dog bound towards the boy, stopping at his feet while wagging his tail. It had only been about two weeks since he’d seen Buttercup, but damn, he missed that dog. TK quickly bent down and hugged the dog, petting his head while Buttercup rapidly licked his face.

“Think we know who TK’s missed the most” Judd joked. After petting Buttercup and tussling the dog’s hair, TK quickly got up again and was confronted with a sharp pain in his chest, causing him to stumble back slightly.

“TK?” His dad panicked, grabbing onto his arm, TK clasped his eyes shut tight, taking slow, steady breaths.

“Is-is he okay?” TK heard Mateo spoke, after a moment, TK opened his eyes to see all the excited faces turned to fear and worry.

“I’m fine, I’ m-I’m okay” TK tried to reassure them, but none of the worried faces changed “I just stood up too quick, Buttercup got me all excited” TK tried to joke, he saw some of the worries disappear, but it still lingered.

“Alright alright, time to get back to work” His dad called, the group gave TK a finale smile, a few shoulders squeezes and light pats on the back. TK headed towards the rooms, placing his stuff in his locker, changing into a comfortable work shirt and hanging his shirt on the hook before going back to the bedroom. The room was empty, everyone off doing work. TK slowly walked over to his bed, sitting down carefully. TK took a deep breath, squinting as his chest ached. TK’s head hung a little lower, his eyes feeling heavy.

TK sat on the edge of his bed, grey joggers with a top, TK bounced his foot up and down, he just wanted to get out of this place, having been confined to a bed for a week. “So, your X-rays have come back clear, it seems the lung isn’t deflating and is healing quite nicely, so I feel happy discharging you from the hospital” TK felt a rush of relief, finally. He felt his dad reach over and pat his shoulder, a smile on his as well. “However, it’s going to be around six weeks until your lung is 100% back to normal so I recommend taking it easy, especially with your job, but if you’re careful you could be back to work in 2 weeks if the work is light” TK nodded along to what she was saying. Still, if he was honest he wasn’t listening after he heard the words ‘he can go home’ TK was just thinking about leaving.

“Thank you, doctor; we appreciate it” TK turned to his dad who for the first time in a while had a genuine smile on his face, his eyes full of appreciation.  

“No problems” The doctor smiled back “So before you are discharged, you need to pick up some medicine, you need some pain relief.”

All the excitement TK had felt had deflated “Opioids?” his voice had lost all its confidence.

The doctor gave the pair a strange look. “Yeah, I’m going to prescribe you- “

“I can’t take opioids” TK stuttered, shaking his head.

The confusion the doctor had only increased “I wasn’t aware of any allergies- “

“I can’t take those drugs” TK continued, not giving the doctor any more information.

“Sir you have to understand your wound will heal, but due to the seriousness of it, it will be excruciating-“

“I’ll be fine okay” TK assured her, he had to be.

Owen stepped forward, giving the doctor a small smile. “Doc, could you give us a minute please” The doctor paused before giving a slight nod and leaving the room. “TK…”

TK looks down at the ground, shaking his head. “Dad I know what you’re going to say but…” Tk looked up at his dad, trying to make him understand “I’m not talking those pills okay I’ve already relapsed with all the morphine they’ve given me- “

Owen stepped forward, giving his son a sympathetic smile, placing a hand on his shoulder. “TK that isn’t a relapse, you were shot okay. You need pain med.”

“Yeah, so I’ll get something over the counter okay?” TK could tell his father wasn’t convinced, he just wanted his son to be okay, to be able to take his medication but TK knew the truth. TK knew what would happen if he took those pills home if he started retaking them. It was just a flesh wound, it would heal, TK could get over it, but taking those pills again “Dad I…I can’t”.

TK and his father had spent a long time arguing about the pills, eventually, once Owen had heard from the doctor that technically not taking the pills won’t affect his recovery, he agreed. TK reached up with one hand and ran his hand through his hair. Since they left the hospital, TK had had a constant headache, like there was a small unbroken voice in his head fighting to get to the top. The voice was saying the same thing over and over, but TK had managed to drown it out. With working out, with Carlos and now TK was hoping that work would do the same. TK had to drown the voice out; there was no other choice.

[wrestlingisfake]

Final Battle preview

Rush vs. PCO - Rush is defending the ROH world title.  As far as I can remember, Rush is undefeated in Ring of Honor.  The only singles loss in ROH that I could find for PCO was his last shot at the world title.  It is probably worth noting that each man’s contract is expiring at the end of the year, and there has been little word on whether either of them plans to re-sign.

Rush is probably the hottest star in wrestling that isn’t signed to WWE, AEW, or New Japan.  You see his entrance and you can tell this guy is a big ass deal, far beyond anything else going on in ROH.  I’m still surprised they managed to sign him.  Pierre Carl Ouellet, meanwhile, is a minor name from the 1990s enjoying a cult resurgence as a monster brawler with a Frankenstein gimmick.  At 51, PCO isn’t a hot prospect bound for the big leagues, but he’s a can’t-miss draw at the super-indy level.  So this is arguably the biggest match ROH could deliver in 2019.  It reminds me of a big match from ROH’s early days, where a WWE fan wouldn’t get the appeal but hardcore indy fans saw it as a dream match.

Even someone like me, who only half pays attention to ROH, can see the appeal of this match.  Rush’s matches are fast and intense, and he quickly destroys guys with big explosive moves.  PCO’s matches are about how he feels no pain and keeps getting back up to do increasingly insane spots.  This is, fundamentally, the irresistible force meeting the immovable object.  I can’t believe we’re getting such a match from “The guy who taught Tetsuya Naito how to be cool” versus “The Mountie’s tag team partner,” but such is wrestling in 2019.

Ring of Honor has really fallen off a cliff this year.  The core of their star power left to found AEW, and their alliance with New Japan seems to be at its lowest ebb.  The whole controversy of CMLL firing Rush and Dragon Lee, who have become key figures here, would also seem to be a bad sign for the ROH/CMLL alliance as well.  So it’s been a rebuilding year for the company, and frankly I haven’t been impressed with what they’ve rebuilt.  Except for this one match.  This is very symbolic of their one shot to turn things around for 2020.  I hope they don’t blow it; I expect that they will somehow.

My gut tells me Rush is moving on to greener pastures, whereas PCO probably can’t do much better than being a big fish in a small pond.  Wild as it sounds, I think we might get a title change tonight.

Jay Briscoe & Mark Briscoe vs. Jay Lethal & Jonathan Gresham - This is for the Briscoes’ ROH tag team title.  The biggest question mark here is that Lethal broke his arm back in October, and although he’s vowed to make it to this match it remains to be seen if he’ll be healed enough to really go.

I haven’t followed the story closely, but Lethal and Gresham were friends until Gresham decided that he needed to cheat to get ahead, and then they fought over that, and then they reconciled, and now they’re both whacking the Briscoes with chairs.  I’m still not sure if the Briscoes ever officially turned babyface this year.  So to me this is a pretty standard 2019 ROH story, where there are no heroes and everyone’s an asshole.

In theory this should be a down-and-dirty brawl between two teams that would prefer to fight than wrestle.  But since it’s not officially billed as a street fight or anything, what we’ll probably end up with is a basic wrestling match where they just sneak a few weapon shots and low blows behind the ref’s back.  That’s fine to build to a bigger, wilder spotfest later, but not so much to be a featured tag match on Final Battle.  I guess Lethal and Gresham will win the belts with shenanigans to set up a rematch.

Shane Taylor vs. Dragon Lee Ryu Lee - Taylor is defending the ROH television title.  Dragon Lee had been a big name in CMLL, and a frequent representative of the company in New Japan, and of late he’s been getting involved in ROH through his brother Rush.  But since CMLL suddenly fired him, and they own the rights to the name, he’s now adopted the name “Ryu Lee,” using the Japanese word for “dragon” to honor his new deal with New Japan.  Lee’s preference among those three companies is to work for New Japan, so now that he’s got that contract I am very curious whether he remains a ROH regular.  I suspect this match will be the first clue.  Taylor has been a dominant champion but Lee has friends in high places, so the one they want to push should be very telling.  I’m kinda thinking Taylor retains.

Matt Taven vs. Vincent - Vincent used to be Vinny Marseglia, a member of The Kingdom stable with Taven and TK O’Ryan.  I’m not sure what happened to O’Ryan after Taven lost the ROH world title, but Vincent turned on Taven and has gone all in on the gimmick of being a horror movie slasher.  This means Taven is doing the “asshole champion you come to respect drops the title and then improbably turns babyface” thing.  I’m not sure I buy that, but I guess ROH kinda has to make the best of what they have to work with.  All I know is when I see Taven plugging his DVD I’m just reminded of when TNA put out that Jeff Jarrett retrospective as if he was Triple H or something.  Anyway, I guess the King of Kings King of the Mountain King of the Kingdom needs to win this match.

Mark Haskins vs. Bully Ray - This is being billed as a street fight, so the match cannot end by count-out or disqualification.  Bully Ray has been playing the bitter veteran bullying young guys for the better part of two years now.  He was mainly feuding with Flip Gordon, but even after they blew that off he just kept doing it, and when Flip turned heel they just sort of switched to Haskins.  They’ve even got Bully going after Mark’s wife like he did with Flip’s wife.  It’s the exact same fucking thing.  Which, I suppose, means Bully has to win this match to generate more heat for more rematches.  I would literally rather be escorted into a room where Bully bitches me out for being a bad fan than watch this crap one more time.

Marty Scurll & Flip Gordon vs. Bandido & Flamita - All right, so months ago Juice Robinson came to ROH to found a stable called Lifeblood, with the goal of elevating some new stars to replenish the roster after the AEW exodus.  Well, in an apt metaphor for ROH’s fortunes in 2019, Lifeblood quickly fell apart with half the team disappearing from ROH, leaving Bandido, Mark Haskins, and Tracy Williams.  They tried to recruit various guys to fill the void, but nobody has stepped up and Flip Gordon even turned heel on them to join Scurll’s Villain Enterprises.  Then Flip blew out his elbow during the heel turn.  Anyway, Haskins has his hands full with Bully Ray, and I don’t even know where Williams is, so now Bandido is starting a new tag team with Flamita and this is the closest we get to blowing off the Lifeblood/Villain Enterprises feud.

Scurll’s contract with ROH actually ended a couple of weeks ago, but he has a handshake deal to work this show and the one on December 15.  The big questions now are which company he’ll sign with and how ROH will write him out of the company.  But presumably those questions won’t be answered until the 15th, so even at this late date we’re still in a holding pattern, and I’m guessing they’ll keep acting like  everything is normal.

Logic would suggest Scurll should do the job so ROH can put over Flamita and Bandido.  Then again, it wouldn’t shock me to learn that Bandido is getting ready to leave, so you never know.

Jeff Cobb vs. Dan Maff - This is basically a battle of two big mean guys.  Cobb is just back from a month-long tour with New Japan.  Maff is a recent acquisition, and notably filled in for Brody King to help Marty Scurll and PCO defend the ROH trios title.  That kinda makes me wonder if Maff could end up playing a role in the final fate of Villain Enterprises, but that probably won’t affect this match.

Cobb is--say it with me this time, folks--expected to have his contract come up soon, and may or may not be getting ready to leave.  If he’s staying, he should probably win this match to build him up for whoever is champion going forward.  If he’s leaving...well, Maff seems to be a budget version of Cobb, so it would make sense to have him be the guy to send Cobb packing.  We’ll just have to see what happens.

Angelina Love vs. Maria Manic - Love won the women’s title at the last ROH show I watched, but it turns out she lost it back to Kelly Klein shortly thereafter.  Then Klein suffered a concussion, which turned into a pretty big story abut ROH not taking care of her and letting her contract expire, and I don’t know what’s going on with the women’s title anymore.  I occasionally wonder if they’ll even continue to have a women’s division after this show.  Manic is clearly their big new project, but apparently they almost let her go to NXT before locking her into a contract.

The story of the match is that Manic is a big mean monster and Love is terrified of her.  Usually in this kind of story the heel gets to demonstrate that they can come up with some clever way to outwit the monster, and the match is about whether that works or not.  But as far as I know they haven’t given Love anything--she seems to just be a lamb led to the slaughter.  It’s possible Love is preparing to leave and this is the blowoff for her character.  If so, I’m not sure who will be left to fight Manic.  There’s only like five other active women in the official roster, and I haven’t seen any of them wrestle in months. 

Dalton Castle & Joe Hendry vs. Silas Young & Josh Woods - This is scheduled for the pre-show.  Young and Woods are apparently calling themselves “2G1T” (“Two Guys, One Tag”), which is possibly the most alarming sign of the creative energy left in this company.  I think Castle and Hendry have been passive-aggressively feuding and teaming for months and I’ve kinda given up trying to figure out where this is headed.  I guess Castle and Hendry win.

Rhett Titus vs. Kenny King - Another match set for the pre-show.  Titus and King were a tag team ages ago, but now King is a wannabe top heel and Titus is a prelim guy.  Well, I guess they’re both in the pre-show so technically they’re both prelim guys.  I assume the point is to give King a win, but if this guy was ever going to be something in ROH, he would already be well beyond the point that beating Titus would mean anything.

[jessekg]

A firsthand account of the Beatles' final concert, 50 years ago today

It was 50 years ago today that the Beatles climbed the stairs of their Apple Corps headquarters at 3 Savile Row in London, plugged in their instruments and played together publicly for the very last time.

The short concert, which was scheduled for a particularly cold lunch hour break, was held so that the Beatles could record a live performance for their film, Let It Be. It lasted only 42 minutes before the police shut it down, but it's become one of the most iconic moments in pop history, and has been referenced in everything from The Simpsons to the video for U2's Where the Streets Have No Name.

It didn't take long for people to gather on the streets below, crane their necks out their windows or climb to their own rooftops to watch, but atop the five-story Apple building, the group was small. Joined by the Beatles was keyboardist Billy Preston, a camera crew, and a small crew of Apple staff. That included Ken Mansfield, then the group's U.S. manager, who was sat beside Yoko Ono, Ringo's then-wife Maureen Starkey, and Apple secretary Chris O'Dell on a bench. Mansfield was so close to the action that he lit four cigarettes, put them between his fingers and held them out so that George Harrison could warm up his hands between songs.

"I just happened to be working in the office that week, it was sheer good fortune," says Mansfield now, over the phone from his Florida home. "I didn't know it was going to happen and was told 15 minutes before going up."

At first, Mansfield says it was just like "another day at the office" at Apple Corps. "There was always something going on in that building. It was like walking into a movie studio with 10 movies happening at once. The Hells Angels might be there in one room, while the Hare Krishnas would be holding court somewhere else, a video shoot somewhere else. Things were changing every minute."

Mansfield has written about the moments leading up that historic concert in a book called, simply, The Roof, which is a firsthand account of what he saw between 1968 and 1970.

"There are so many books about the fact and details, like who played cowbell on the fourth take of whatever song, but I wanted to talk about what it was like personally," he says. "How it felt to walk down that street and walk into their world and see them in their everyday action."

Easing the tension

Those two years were a particularly volatile time for the Beatles, who managed to release two albums, Let It Be and Abbey Road, despite holding on by a thread. John Lennon officially told the group he was leaving in September 1969, just eight months after the rooftop concert.  

"Even during the two days leading up to the concert — and they really kept it a secret in the building — there was a lot of dissension," he says. "George was having a lot of problems with the whole thing. I was with him in L.A. when they had finished The White Album, and he said that was too big a project. They simply took on too much. Then to walk into this other thing two months later, both a new album [which would become Let It Be], rehearse for another concert, and do a film. He was really having a problem."

In fact, the concert almost didn't happen at all, right up until the last minute. "When they were there at the door they still weren't sure about it until John said, 'Come on, let's go, let's get it over with.'"

To put Harrison at ease, and perhaps to help ease the tension among members, Billy Preston was brought in to play keyboard. Preston knew the band from their early days in Hamburg, and had gone on to play with the likes of Ray Charles. You can hear him quite clearly throughout the performances, but nowhere more than on his solo on Get Back.

"They loved Billy," says Mansfield, adding that the group played with the idea of officially making him the fifth Beatle. "I think it was Paul [McCartney] that said, why do we need a fifth Beatle when we can't even get along with four?"

Having Preston, a close friend of Harrison's, around was "like having calming odours in the room," says Mansfield. "No one would be arguing with him there."

As such, Preston is the only musician to ever get top billing on a Beatles song from outside the group. When Get Back was released as a single, it was credited to "The Beatles with Billy Preston."

"They didn't do that with anyone, not Eric Clapton, not anyone," says Mansfield.

Location, location, location

What Mansfield says many don't realize is how truly last-minute the decision was to perform on the rooftop. In fact, just before, he had been sent to scope out the Sonoran desert, in the southwestern United States, as a possible location. "Think about trying to put that together," he says. "The plan was they would setup in the desert and put the word out and invite every kid in America to come watch for free. That's wonderful, but how would you like to underwrite that for insurance? Or be the one bringing in the Porta Potties. Half the kids wouldn't have come back alive."

When it was all said and done, everyone walked down from the rooftop in silence.

He mentions other location ideas in the book — everything from the Pyramids of Giza to the British House of Parliament — but in the end, the roof just made sense.

"I think they were comfortable there," he says. "That was home for them. It was like going up to another room in the house."

British rock group the Beatles performing their last live public concert on the rooftop of the Apple Organization. The concert lasted for TK minutes before police shut it down. (Evening Standard/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

Blue Meanies

While the location was an example of how spontaneous things could be at Apple Corps, especially that day, some elements were more carefully orchestrated.

"We had locked the doors downstairs, but there was such chaos in the street below that the tailors and the bankers started complaining — soon enough the Bobbies are banging on the door," says Mansfield.

In the film, police officers can clearly be seen trying to make their way in, eventually forcing the band to pull the plug. As it turns out, they were a bit more complicit. In fact, everything was coordinated, and the police even called 10 minutes before the raid to give everyone a chance to dump any "stash" they had on them.

"I think it was more like, 'Look, you're going to get to see the Beatles up close and personal, but let us get what we need to get done first,'" says Mansfield. "Everything about that day was special."

When it was all said and done, Mansfield says everyone walked down from the rooftop in silence. There was no after-party or celebration, as you might expect, and everyone, including the Beatles, went their separate ways and carried on like it was a normal day.

That said, there was a real sense that it was a moment in history, even if they hadn't realized it yet. "I remember when I was sitting about four feet away, I saw John look at Paul and Paul at John, and the unspoken words were, 'It doesn't matter, what's done is done, we're a rock 'n' roll band, it doesn't matter, this is us.' At that moment they needed that. That escape back into who they were."

As Mansfield writes in his book, "The day began without a sound check and ended with a soul check."

[hejbeauty-blog1]

From this (left side) to this (right side) in 1 year

– I kid you not!

  1. Avoid heat

I know it’s a tough one but try to avoid heat as far as possible. For my part after washing my hair I always do my make up first so my hair can already air dry a little bit. And it’s not only about the beautiful hair dryers and curling irons, which are obviously damaging your hair I mean did you once accidently touch your curling iron when plugged in? Yes, It’s burning hot! Also try to wash your hair with cold or tepid warm water.

2. Cut it regularly

Yes, its sounds at first contradictory but only if you cut your hair regularly and it is in good condition new healthy hair could grow. That’s what every hairdresser would tell you. I’m suffering from split and snapping ends and I cut my hair always when I feel the ends are very dry, split and damaged. Honestly, I cut my hair by myself and therefore I have the control of cutting off not too much. But just go to your hairdresser of your choice and tell him that you’re in the process off growing your hair and only want to cut off the necessary bits. Believe me only if you cut it regularly your hair will grow.

3. Hair mask once a week including head massages

To maintain your hair it will need love! Do a hair mask every week and if time massages your head a little bit while working in the hair mask. The massage will stimulate the blood circulation and therefore enhance the growing process. I mostly use coconut oil as a hair mask.

4. Eat a lot of fish or make it the easy way and take omega 3 fish oil supplements

Nutrition is a very crucial thing for most of our “problems” be it your hair, be it your skin, your nails or your overall health. For my part I just don’t eat enough fish. I like salmon, prawns and sushi etc. but just not enough on a regularly basis. As soon as I got into omega 3 softgels in course of one of my diet attempts I noticed a hell of a difference.

5. Take hair vitamins for example silica or biotin

Similarly as omega 3 does extra hair vitamins support the healthiness of your hair and stimulate the growth. I take both!

6. Try not to color too often

Yes same as heat could color your hair causes a lot of damage because of the containing chemicals. Honestly that’s a tip I don’t even follow myself. But maybe try to not use permanent color but instead hair tint that stay in for multiple washes. These tints are less harmful than the permanent ones.

7. Don’t use Hairbands with metal clips

Your hair could easily break or snap exact where the metal clip meets your hair. I’m only using hair bands without metal clips. Recommendable are the Invisibobble hair bands. They are gentle for your hair and don’t leave the annoying marks after wearing it the whole day.

8. Be careful by brushing your hair especially when wet

When your hair is wet it is very fragile and could easily snaps while brushing. Be as gentle as possible and always brush from the bottom upwards. I can recommend the “wet” brushes. I bought mine at a local TK Maxx but I think outside Germany it is far more popular and easier accessible. Or you can order it online on Amazon. For me the wet brush totally changed the hair brushing game.

9. Make a loose braid before sleeping

Yes, also too much rubbing of your hair on your clothes or on your sheets while sleeping could course damage. So I recommend making a loose braid before sleeping it prevents your hair from rubbing and tangling. Moreover if you wet your hair a little bit before braiding you will have nice soft waves the next morning.

10. Take hair oil

I like the ‘anti-breakage + keratin oil’ from ogx. It’s a hair oil spray. It smells nice, not weighing your hair down and don’t let it look greasy! I use it when my hair is freshly washed and every time when I feel it’s very dry than I just spray a little bit into the ends. You can also use a little bit to tame your baby hairs.

I hope you liked my 10 tips to how to grow your hair faster. And I promise you as soon as you just follow a couple of these tips it will change your hair game!

XOXO hej_beauty

Links: 

Coconut oil: http://amzn.to/2xEvxjS

Omega 3: http://amzn.to/2hCJ1q4

Silicia: http://amzn.to/2wpeLS0

Invisibobble: http://amzn.to/2fFHnU7

Wet brush: http://amzn.to/2fEzluz

OGX Hair oil: http://amzn.to/2fEZObh

  -> Everything also available at your local DM except the brush

Disclaimer: All Amazon Links are Affiliated Link

  New Blog Post on 10 tips to how to grow your hair faster is online! From this (left side) to this (right side) in 1 year - I kid you not!