#and i don't blame him cause boy howdy.

[cbk1000]

So, I have another crazy story about the clinic where I used to work; this time as a patient instead of an employee. Under a cut because it's very long.

So back when I first got really sick, I was in the hospital a few times primarily for really high heart rate. I work out a lot and my normal resting heart rate is in the 60s; back in February I suddenly started getting palpitations, and my heart rate was going up to like 140 bpm just standing at my bathroom sink washing my face. I wore a seven day monitor at one point and my highest recorded heart rate on that was 157 bpm--just shuffling like a zombie around the house. I was also super weak and just felt overall like death.

Hospital runs a bunch of labs and imaging tests and can't find anything that would explain it. The last doc I saw said there was a bright spot on my echocardiogram monitor that could just be flashback from the monitor, but taken with some of my symptoms, he felt OK with a presumptive diagnosis of pericarditis (inflammation of the sac around your heart), especially as the treatment is just high dose ibuprofen for a week, nothing invasive or drastic. I need to follow up with a cardiologist, but I don't have a primary care physician who can refer me to the heart clinic. I had just turned in new patient paperwork at a local clinic so I contacted them to see if I could get in, but they said it would likely be a month before I could be scheduled with anyone.

In the meantime, the ibuprofen isn't working and my condition is getting worse. I have my next period, and after a couple of heavy days, I get even weaker, my heart rate goes even higher, and I get really dizzy all the time. I also am now short of breath just rolling over in bed. I legit feel like I'm dying. Because my symptoms get worse after blood loss, it suddenly pops into my head that about 17 years ago after a blood donation I got really sick, and all my symptoms that I can remember having at the time are the same, especially the cardiac issues. I took iron back then and that resolved it. I started wondering if my iron was low, did a bunch of research into iron deficiency without anemia, and realized every single symptom, including ones I had been having for a while prior to the heart issues (terrible fatigue, brain fog, headaches, sleep disruptions, restless legs at night) could be from low iron.

So I need to get labs done, and also I do still need a referral to make sure my heart is ok. I can't get in with anyone, so out of desperation, I go back to my old clinic because I know they'll get me in quickly. They schedule me an appointment for the next day with a doc who is going to turn out to be batshit crazy.

I go to my appointment with my presumptive diagnosis of pericarditis, and the doctor asks if I had the Covid shot. I tell him yes, but my last booster was in 2021, so not relevant here.

Well boy howdy was I wrong. He launches into a whole-ass rant about how bad the shots are, how many people have been injured by them, tells me I, a formerly very healthy, athletic woman, now have heart issues due to the shot, etc. etc. I say, 'Ok, but would the shot really randomly cause me issues three years later when I was perfectly fine after I got it?' (The answer is no.) Doc stays the course in blaming the shot. I have paperwork I need filled out for medical leave from my job, and he PUTS ON MY PAPERWORK THAT I HAVE TO TURN IN that my cardiac issues came on and progressed after the shot (three YEARS after, you DUMBASS) and that his impression is post vaccine injury. I feel too badly to do much more than sway on the exam table and occasionally interject that I had the shot three years ago and I don't think that's the problem. The majority of my appointment is him ranting about the shots. Whatever, I'm desperate, give me my fucking referral to the cardiologist and order my iron panel.

I get labs done and sure enough, my iron is low. I start supplementing and shortly afterwards get a call from the cardiac clinic; I lucked out and got in just a few days after my referral was sent to them because someone canceled their appointment last minute. I see an ARNP at my first visit and she says the echo I had done at the hospital looks fine to her, but they'll do a seven day monitor, a repeat echocardiogram, and have me follow up with the cardiologist just to make sure they don't miss anything.

So they do this, and in the meantime, after a couple of weeks on iron supplements, I start slowly but steadily feeling a bit better. My fatigue and brain fog that I was having every day improve significantly after only a week on supplements. My dizziness goes away. I feel a tiny bit stronger every day and now can sit up longer and start holding conversations with people. It's slow but steady progress for about three weeks: and then I get my period again. It doesn't knock me back to square one, but I definitely take a couple of steps back in my recovery. It's a little lighter this time, though, which is a good sign.

I follow up with the cardiologist. He says actually my heart is in really good shape; no signs of pericarditis or anything wrong with it; my high heart rate isn't due to a cardiac issue. Cool. I didn't think so at this point, but good to hear I don't have heart issues.

So I go back to follow up with my doc and plan to ask to really focus on the iron issue since the cardiologist confirmed my heart is fine. I have come a long ways but am still mostly bedridden; it is very slow to get your levels up on iron supplementation, and every time I get my period, it sets me back a little. Maybe some low dose iron infusions would help boost my levels so my recovery doesn't go backwards on account of me bleeding for a week every few weeks.

Doc comes in the room. He is clearly Not Happy cardiology did not confirm his conspiracy theories about the shot injuring me. I tell him about the symptoms I have seen improve and even resolve after about six weeks on iron supplements, and how I think most if not all of my problems are from low iron. He pretty much completely ignores this. He asks me if my fatigue and brain fog have improved. I say, yes, they were some of the first symptoms to improve after I started taking iron. He does not even acknowledge I have spoken. He tells me he thinks I have a combination of chronic fatigue syndrome and POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome) caused by the shot. I remind him I just told him my fatigue had improved a lot since starting iron. And my heart rate is coming down too and not spiking as much, my issue is that every period after I've been improving, I suddenly get a little worse again. He ignores this. He tells me he is going to refer me to the neurologist to check for chronic fatigue and POTS. Ok, whatever, I'm pretty sure I don't have those things, but fine, have another specialist tell you you're wrong.

After about eight weeks on supplements, I really feel like I'm starting to turn a corner. I don't feel normal, but my heart rate has come down quite a bit, I can stand and walk around a lot longer without feeling like I'm going to pass out, and I feel the closest to normal that I have been in months.

And then I get my period again and my heart rate goes back up. I'm super frustrated at this point because I was So Close to being a functioning human again, so I decide to push for a low dose iron infusion. I just want to boost my levels high enough to get me over this hump so every period doesn't set me back right as I feel like I'm coming back to life. I've read lots of papers on iron deficiency without anemia (meaning your hemoglobin is normal) and decide to make an appointment armed with one paper in particular which was written by a doctor who has been treating iron deficiency for decades, and which lays out really comprehensively the numbers at which patients should be considered deficient based on their labs and symptoms, what numbers you should shoot for when treating the iron deficiency (I am higher now but still quite a ways away from the goal), and also lists a bunch of symptoms women in particular have reported that have resolved with iron treatment. I highlight all the symptoms on the list that I have had, as well as other sections particularly relevant to my specific case. (Spoiler alert: I did not even give him the paper.)

So I go to my appointment and he asks if I've heard from the neurologist yet. I say no, I'm sure it will be a while (there's only one in town, and I'm sure it takes a long time to get in). In the meantime, I really want to focus on getting my iron levels up. I lay everything out: all the improvements I've seen, how my period keeps setting me back, and how I want to try just a low 100mg infusion to boost me up so I don't take two steps back every time I get my period. He tells me I have chronic fatigue and POTS as a result of the Evil Shot. I tell him, once again, that my fatigue has greatly improved on iron supplements. He does not even acknowledge I have spoken. He tells me a local doctor is being PERSECUTED and PROSECUTED for prescribing Ivermectin for Covid. Ok, that doesn't relate to my personal medical issues that we are here to discuss, and also, Ivermectin is not approved for the treatment of Covid. I ask him again if I can get a low dose infusion. I understand insurance probably won't cover it, that's fine, I can pay out of pocket, I just need him to order it. He tells me he personally takes Ivermectin. Good for you. Again, not related to my medical issues that I am here to dicuss.

I mention that I have had restless legs at night for a long time, because I know this at least is commonly associated with low iron, maybe that will get his attention; nope. He totally ignores me again. I even try blaming the shot for low iron (sorry, Covid vaccine, sometimes you have to take one for the team). I say I have read Covid and maybe even the shot can deplete your iron; maybe the shot did this to my iron. No dice. (Mr. Jenn did applaud me for trying when I told him about it, though.)

He starts in about my POTS again. I say, ok, but POTS is a postural issue, right? He says, yes! I say, ok, then if I have an issue where my nervous system doesn't regulate my blood flow properly when I change from sitting to standing, why is my resting heart rate way higher than normal when I'm just lying in bed doing nothing, and why has my heart rate been coming down and is not spiking like it was after several weeks on iron supplements until I get my period? I'm not sure that fits with POTS.

He again does not even acknowledge I've spoken.

I ask again for an infusion to help boost me up so I'm not set back every period. He says as long as I'm menstruating it will set me back. Yes, I am aware I will lose more iron on my period, what I am asking is that while I am in ACTIVE CLINICAL IRON DEFICIENCY can we please do something to speed up getting my levels high enough so every time I bleed it doesn't knock me down again. He asks if I have considered a hysterectomy or uterine ablation for the bleeding (you know, invasive surgeries, instead of talking about birth control pills, which he didn't even mention). I said that was kind of extreme and I didn't want to consider that right now. I ask him about the infusion again. He says it's not a concern. I say, yeah, it is, I am having debilitating symptoms that have left me bedridden for three months. I need to get back to my life and my job. He tells me Congress is investigating the shots and it will come out how bad they are, but a lot of people won't believe it. I say, well, that's Congress' business, can I please have an infusion. He tells me insurance won't cover it. I say I know, I already mentioned that earlier (while you were ignoring me in favor of ranting about a vaccine I had three years ago), I have a health savings account, I can pay out of pocket. He tells me he's pretty sure I have chronic fatigue and POTS but we'll see what the neurologist says. I need to call and see if I can get in more quickly with the neurologist. I say, ok, in the meantime, since realistically it could take months for me to get in with the neurologist, can I PLEASE HAVE A FUCKING INFUSION. He tells me if I want one I will have to badger another doctor into it. (I can't remember the exact word he used, but the way he worded it made it sound like I was trying to bully him. No, you jackass, I am asking for an extremely common, low risk medical treatment for issues that have left me unable to work or leave my house for anything other than doctor's appointments for THREE MONTHS.)

So I left incredibly frustrated, needless to say.

Next day Mr. Jenn goes to his appointment at the clinic I initially tried to get into to follow up on labs he had done for an annual physical, and his doctor tells him his cholesterol is slightly high, but not enough to be concerned, he just needs to watch his saturated fats and red meat intake. Mr. Jenn tells him we've actually temporarily increased our red meat intake because of my health issues. He then mentions all of the issues I've been having, my lab results, and how I've improved a lot on supplements, but keep getting set back by my period. His doctors goes, 'Have you guys looked into infusions for her? You should try that.'

I DID BUT MY DOCTOR IS CRAZY.

Mr. Jenn explains that I had asked for an infusion and my doctor refused. His doctor gives him a weird look and wants to know why. Mr. Jenn explains it's because he's super set on it being chronic fatigue and POTS and won't consider anything else even though my 'chronic fatigue' and 'POTS' symptoms have both improved on iron supplements. The doctor again gives him a weird look and asks why he's stuck on those diagnoses and won't consider iron deficiency.

Because he's crazy, good sir.

Mr. Jenn's doctor then suggests we see if I can self-refer for an infusion and just pay out of pocket, but you need a doctor's order even if you're not going through insurance, so the next day when the clinic opens, I call, explain I tried to establish care there earlier so they have my new patient paperwork, but that I needed an urgent referral, and had to go somewhere else because they were a month out, but I really (REALLY) want to change doctors, is <Mr. Jenn's doc> taking new patients? He is not, but they'll put in a note with one of the ARNPs accepting new patients to see if they're willing to schedule me.

However, I know the new manager of the clinic (actually an old coworker from the crazy clinic that I'm friendly with), so the other day I texted her, briefly explained the situation, and she asked which doctor I wanted to see and said she'll talk to him when he's back from the long holiday weekend and see if he would be willing to see me. She will let me know later this week (he's not back in till Wednesday). So fingers crossed I can get in with a non-lunatic soon.

[wutheringmights]

enthralled by the directors commentary for CTB it's always so interesting to peek behind the curtain on the decision making process there's so much work you put into this fic and we love every minute of it. i 110% inhaled the newest chapter the moment i could and boy howdy it was a feast! i might be one of the people confused by the whole Impa situation tho lmao any commentary or insight on that bit?

Aw thanks I'm glad you liked it!

I'll try to break down the Impa situation in a bit more detail and hopefully I can explain it better this time:

Let's rewind to the beginning of the whole war situation, since it's necessary context

The War of Eras was a vastly unpopular war that resulted in the nobility gaining a lot of power and influence, especially over the Royal Family

Now, years later, another war is on the horizon against an enemy empire. In order to prevent this war, Zelda was going to marry a foreign prince to consolidate power, but the marriage fell apart.

There was the opportunity to marry Zelda off to a different prince, but the council who was in charge of this treaty tried to negotiate more favorable terms, which resulted in the talks falling apart

(These new terms may have been unreasonable on purpose since there is a strong wave of nationalism that is fueling the desire to continue fighting wars)

One huge issue with this whole situation is that the council who did all this excluded anyone who wasn't Hylian, including the Sheikah

So every single of of the other cultural groups/tribes in Hyrule are pissed, forcing them towards civil war

The Sheikah are one of the most powerful subcultures in Hyrule exclusively because they are the servants of the Royal Family, but they have also been scorned by this decision

Plus, the Hylian nobles keep asserting their power over the Sheikah, causing them to lose autonomy over their own business

So here is Impa's problem: she needs to reaffirm the power of the Sheikah, unite Hyrule under one banner, and ensure the Sheikah continue their sacred duty of aiding the line of Hylia

One of her key "tools" so to speak is Warriors, who despite being controversial in his own right is still the Hero of Hyrule

Warriors is captured by the Knights of Hyrule and turned over to the Royal Guard as a traitor

Him losing the Triforce is a sign that he is no longer blessed by Hylia; that means that the generals who don't particularly like him can have him punished in the Kakariko Well

But the generals, who are all nobles, know that Warriors is Impa's best weapon so they do not want her to come rescue him; so they assert their authority over the Sheikah by inserting one of their own to supervise Warriors's torture

This is fine by Impa as she wanted to break Warriors down a bit in order to make him more dependent on her

Four's rescue attempt fails; he and Warriors are taken to Impa's family home. Once there, she tries to funnel Warriors's anger into him joining the civil war against the Royal Family

From here, one of two outcomes can occur:

OPTION ONE: the civil war is vastly unpopular with the people, which means that any negative outcomes of another war can be blamed on the rebels for not contributing to the Hyrulean war effort

This turns the rebels into scapegoats that unites the kingdom and strengthens the Royal Family over the Hylian nobles, thus reaffirming the power and influence of the Sheikah

OPTION TWO: the civil war is popular with the people and the Sheikah side with the rebels. Warriors's involvement with it gives the movement legitimacy because he is the Hero of Hyrule

But the legend of the Hero's Spirit is intrinsically entwined with the divine rights of the line of Hylia; even if Zelda is disposed as the ruler of Hyrule, her descendants will eventually take the throne again since the tradition will never fully be erased

That means that even if the status quo appears to change now, it will eventually revert to one where the Royal Family rules and the Sheikah are powerful

Both Option 1 and Option 2 have vastly different means of obtaining a favorable outcome

But Impa can play both sides since the Sheikah are ripe to split into factions-- one based around her, the other based around her grandmother, Jakucho.

So even if one faction fails, the other will live on

No matter what side of the fight Warriors takes, the status quo will never truly change, and that's why it's a lose/lose situation no matter what

TLDR: Impa is trying to use Warriors to play both sides of a political issue to ensure that no matter the outcome, the Shekiah ultimately benefit and the line of Hylia is secure

[whitherwordswither]

Logs from the Starfields, VIII

Captain's Log #0.08:

Akila keeps callin' my name.

Not just because I kinda like the shabby little town or the way Helga says hi to me every time I wander in to The Rock. I've also got unfinished business here. Of the Ranger variety. I finally head on up and turn in the bounty they'd sent me out on the other day. Looks like I'm the right type'a folks they're lookin' fer. And y'know what? I could use some good flowin' my way. I have a chat with the Sheriff and he sends me and Emma out to investigate a call from help from… Waggoner Farm! Well, hey. I know where that is. I done did a delivery there not too long back! Nice folks. If anyone is botherin' 'em, I won't hesitate to put a couple boots up some asses.

We land and Mikaela waves us over. She's right scared. Says a group of gruff lookin' merc-types were tryin' to get her to sell the farm to 'em dirty cheap. Said they'd be back, then headed off in to some nearby canyons. I ain't ever tracked no one before but Emma seems to think I do a good enough job of it. We weave our way through some proper jagged rockface, blast through some hostile local wildlife and eventually reach a small encampment.

Turns out this merc unit are old Freestar. Like them's that fought against the UC in the war. Or whatever. I straight away don't like the way the boss man here is talkin'. Seems like they ain't gonna go quiet. They open fire. Big mistake. Emma and I lay waste to the group without too much trouble. Though I had to quick-like ingest some Med packs 'cause damn, that leader-boy packed quite a punch. … We scour their camp for clues afterward and I notice a ship in the distance. Turns out this is a stolen vessel from the HopeTec shipyard. Curious. The plot deepens! But at least the farm should be safe for now. I let Mikaela know things should be good, but keep the comms open just in case. Then me n Emma head back to Akila to report in to Daniels.

Daniels used to be affiliated with this group of old school Freestar mercs. 'Cept everyone else after the war got jail time and turned out to be some not good individuals. Why they're comin' back with a vengeance now, who knows. Emma parts ways at this point. I don't blame her. She's got a daughter to look after. I sit and chat with Daniels a bit, get some extra information about the group we're probably dealing with and hand over the data slate we found about the ship. Seems I've got my work cut out for me!

Unfortunately for me, that takes me back to Neon. Of all the rotten… Sigh. …Gotta do what y'gotta do, though. I meet Pryce, one of the Rangers stationed here and he gives me the low down about how things operate in Neon. Like I hadn't already figured that out from my prior trip here. I play nice and he takes me to see an acquaintance who might know something about that stolen ship. Apparently, it was seen landing here before it was handed off to the merc group later on.

Nothing's free on Neon. I keep getting reminded. And the guy don't want no credits! Fine by me. Instead he wants me to talk to some scumlord loan shark who is comin' after him now because his dead brother owed money and somebody's gotta pay. I don't like that kinda bullshit. I head over to the warehouse where this small group of Syndicate baddies are operating and try my best to talk the greasy mustached prick outta doin' what he's doin'. Even though I know it ain't gonna go over well. I know the type. I have to end up dispensing some lethal justice. Good riddance, in any case. Fleecin' hard workin' folk like that. If you ain't got respect for another life, then boy howdy, you've lost the right to yours! I don't regret what I had to do.

The bloke gives us the name of the ship-jacker, who is conveniently hanging out at Madame Savauge's place, just a short jog from here. Pryce and I confront her. She's much more easy to persuade in to talkin'. She ain't lookin' for trouble, just tryin' to make creds the only way she knows how. She don't hurt no one. Just takes ships. I don't lean in to her too much about it. I'm after bigger game. She gives up two names and an encrypted data slate. Pryce says one of the boys back at The Rock is good at decryption and I need to report back to Daniels anyhow. So we part ways.

Back on Akila I hand over the tablet to A… Aa-… Shit. I forgot his name. Well, the data-guy! And fill Daniels in. He recognizes both names. I get a little more info about the targets, then set my sights on Maya. The ship-jacker said Maya had mentioned getting called away for a medical emergency. And ain't no place that values privacy and medical emergencies than The Clinic. Since I'm already familiar with the station and have done some work there I decide that'll be my first stop. Time to go pay a patient a visit.

I meet another ranger, Ben, who is stationed at The Clinic. He introduces me to Ari, the station's IT. The name Maya doesn't ring any bells and she doesn't appear to be listed in the system. Makes sense. Wanted fugitive and all. Ari gives me Admin access to check the station logs, see if anything looks funny. Someone's installed an external program from the VIP wing.

I talk one of the doctor's in to giving me a card to access the area. Didn't even have to persuade 'em. Just let 'em know I knew enough about Medicine to not mess anything up.

Soon as I step foot in the VIP wing there's already a dead nurse. Welp, I can already guess this prognosis. And it looks like the area turret has been set to kindly ask anyone to drop dead.

I take out the turret and check around. Ain't nobody else here. The terminal in the patient's room has definitely been messed with. I deactivate the program and find a data slate. Smart enough to mess with the station's systems and steal a medical transport but not smart enough to take the message with you that tells me exactly where you're goin', eh? Almost like you want t'be found!

On my way out I try to look for someone to report to about the dead nurse. Or maybe someone might've been a little curious about the explosion they heard from the VIP wing. But everyone's occupied. Even Ben doesn't seem interested. Weird.

But I ain't got time to argue. I get back in my ship and pop in the coordinates for the Sakharov system.

I jump right in to a cluster of fuckin' asteroids and have to do some quick maneuvering. Don't want to be the shortest-lived newest deputy of the Freestar Rangers, yeah?

Sakharov is a fairly small system. Just one star, one planet and it's moon. The only other notable locale upon cursory scan is an abandoned mining facility here: Eklund Excavation Site CL25. Seems like the best spot to start lookin' I reckon.

Not only has Maya booby trapped the place, there are these critters that look like they really love munchin' on the abundant cobalt they mine here. It's a bit of a maze to get through. And then I have to deal with a mess of homicidal robots and giant mining lasers. On top of fending off the 'balt-munchers.

It ain't too terrible of a job to get through though and once I have Maya cornered she goes down easy enough. She gives me what I need. I debate on letting her live out her last few weeks, since whatever she has seemingly doesn't have a cure. …But not only has she put lives in danger. She's killed innocent people. So I opt to do her a favor and put her out of her misery.

That's a wrap for this place. Before I head back to Akila I decide to survey the planets here since there are only two. With Bonner being a gas giant, there's nothing to survey. So that really just leaves lil 'ole Mir II.

I hail a random Freestar vessel passing by. That short convo brightened my day:

Freestar Vessel: "Do you know the way to Uranus?" Me: "Yeah, I do!" F.V.: "Good! Because it's right BEHIND YOU. Smell you later!"

And then they immediately grav jumped away.

I love folks.

Anywhoo~ I drop down to the surface of Mir II and get my scans. I notice a landing area up ahead and jaunt on over. Hey, spacer buddies! They don't ask questions. They just start firing. I pick 'em all off as I board their ship, take out the crew inside and… another ship for me! Gosh, they really are just givin' these things away, ain't they?

Seems like a nice little rig. I take her up in to orbit for a spin, then drop back down to go visit one of the places I seen in the distance. An old disused UC listening post. And but of course it's filled with pirates! I tra-la-la my way through, looting and shooting. Once I'm done I head back to my ship and jump back over to Akila. I register the new ship then turn right around and sell it.

Did I mention I bought one of the houses that was for sale here? The bigger one in The Core, just out back of The Rock. The realtor still likes to hang around by my front door but he's a nice enough guy so I don't mind too much. I spent a good amount of time crafting some furniture and placing all my goodies where I'd like them. I'm thinking I'll need another shelf for more of these plushies. (That reminds me. I need to head back to New Atlantis and get all my stuff from that room Constellation is letting me use!)

I think I'm done for the night. It's been a wild ride. Tomorrow I'll hunt down Marco and see maybe see how deep this Freestar conspiracy nonsense goes.

Eeyup. Catch ya 'round.

End log.

[gh0stlymoth]

Local guy flabbergasted and confused that they are, in fact, not immune to the 2005 movie adaptation of a classic love story.

[albatris]

howdy folks it's camp nano day 1, allegedly! g'morning special camp nano taglist @goosemixtapes @multi-lefaiye @chaotic-queer-disaster @the-one-who-makes-negative-noise @itisi-asimplegay how y'all doing?

what do I usually say in these updates? uh?

today's word count is 1,603!

well, I'm writing rental car book two ("but logan I don't remember you saying you'd even finished rental car book one" shhhhut the hell your mouth)

can't decide whether it's Nat POV or Zeke POV for the first scene so I've written a scene that is some hellish mishmash of both. it'll probably be a Nat scene 'cause it feels a bit odd to start off book two from the POV of someone who is currently an antagonist beating the shit out of my protagonist but like. eh!

tbf the scene in question is labelled "Nat and Zeke beat the shit out of each other" in my outline so it goes both ways. a mutual ass-kicking

fight scene!

also, yes, Zeke is known in certain circles as simply The Knight, for reasons :3c

today's jam is "handsome boys" by elliotly and today's mood is. oof ouch oof ouch. body hurt :c

today's excerpt..............................s,

A strangled, helpless cry twisted free of his mouth as he jerked sideways to shield himself from the light, his hands flying to the blistering, burning redness now clambering across his flesh. He was on his knees on the floorboards next, his arms wrapped over his head. Cowering. Whining in panic.

Zeke gave herself only a heartbeat to feel strange about how wounded he sounded, even from such a slight blow. Suddenly less like a monstrous beast and more like a small, frightened animal. A reaction based on instinct and expectation of pain rather than pain itself.

Her own instincts kicked in and she lunged forward, slamming her foot into his shoulder and knocking him over. He rolled onto his side, eyes wide and startled. She was upon him before he could properly react, driving her knife down into his chest. Blood roared from the wound, blooming rapidly outward.

The vampire let out another cry, this one more frantic rage than pathetic cowardice, his hand flying to Zeke's hand and the handle of the blade, grappling to dislodge the weapon and free himself. She smashed it deeper, she twisted it, and dragged it downwards, the serrated edge gnashing through his flesh—he would heal later, obviously, but the knife was in him now, so the only logical thing for her to do was mangle the wretched body he'd made himself at home in as much as she could.

and

"I..." Nat wheezed, all the frenzied anger and adrenaline finally giving way to panic under the press of the Knight's blade. "I—"

"Spit it out, leech," she snapped. "Before I slice you open."

"My cat," he choked out desperately. "My cat is here, and I—I don't want to stress her out."

The Knight visibly faltered, her expression quickly turning to one of sheer confusion. The knife pressed tight to his neck let up just a touch, and he opted not to take advantage of the lapse in her guard and lash out. He stayed limp, his head angled slightly away from her, trying to look as uncomfortable and pathetic as possible.

"Your... cat," the Knight repeated.

Nat nodded vehemently. "Sh-she doesn't like all the noise and—and all the fighting. She's stressed, I can hear her heartbeat going, and she's never—she's never seen me like this. I don't want to fight. I... don't want her to be frightened of me."

He risked a glance upwards at her. Her face was changing again, confusion turning to anger turning to almost-sympathy turning to disgust to alarm to confusion again. Was he lying to her? Trying to seem human and relatable? Attempting to joke? Catch her off guard? Was he, God forbid, serious? Nat grimaced awkwardly as he waited for the roulette-wheel of the hunter's emotions to cease spinning. He hoped it would land on something other than 'this bloodsucking freak is full of shit', but he wouldn't blame her if it didn't. It was, he realised all too late, truly a bizarre thing to say to someone hell-bent on killing him.

But please think of my cat!

The Knight was still for a long time. And a longer time still. And even longer. Painfully, painfully longer.

She thrust the blade forward again, her eyes flashing, and Nat squeaked in alarm. He was a dead man, he was a dead man, he was a dead man.

"If you were that worried about your damn cat," she growled, "why the hell did you attack me in the first place?"

"I—I panicked!" Nat insisted. "Come on, I'm a vampire! Panicking is—is basically our default response to everything! And especially to vampire hunters breaking into our apartments! What was I supposed to think? That you were here to invite me to your scrapbooking group?"

The Knight loosened her grip again, this time letting her knife-wielding arm go slack against Nat's chest. When she spoke, her voice was a vaguely irritated grumble. "Yeah, yeah, fine," she said. "I'll give you that. You lot really are all bite first and ask questions later, aren't you, though? I was told you, specifically, were reasonable."

"You broke into my apartment," Nat repeated miserably.

The Knight rolled her eyes. "We're done fighting. Let's talk." She didn't release him immediately, taking an extra second to lean in nose-to-nose and attempt to burn him alive with her glare alone. She came impressively close. "We're. Done. Fighting. You hear me, Finch?"

[kizzys]

Starkid Rewatch: A Very Potter Senior Year 🧙‍♀️✨

Schlongbottom and luna are precious souls

Joey and the blue headband - a thrilling saga

Once again: hermione's hair is more accurate than anything the movies ever did

Fuh-reeze motherfucker we're the wizard cops!

You would have made one good god damn wizard god damn wizard hell of a wizard cop

It has an inscription at the side saying "i open at the close" whatever the fuck that means

Avp Harry and hermione really deliver the sibling dynamic

Have you ever read a book? Have you ever not read a book? No!

Someone had pointed out that all the weasley kids are redheads but Arthur and molly are both brunettes, and now I can't stop thinking about it

Tyler as mcgonagall is the greatest thing ever

It was DORA

MISS EXPLORER!!

Seamus looks like a fucking angel

Look at himmm

I'm gonna say it

Harry's a douchebag

Does baby want some wine with that cheese? Fuck you.

Tom

Ma

Mar

Mervl

Mer

Mar

Meervl

Rydle

You know who accidentally killed his sister while he was in a fight with his boyfriend? This guy, right here 🤙

That part in always dance where voldemort dances with ginny is genuinely so creepy

This makes fifty shades of grey look like a fucking book for kids

The basilisk is the funniest character in the whole show

Ginny's such a dumbass I love her

A squad™

I have no idea who jim is supposed to be but xir hair is on point

His wig fell off i-

(don't make me laugh I'm pissing)

Britney i love u

The boyfriends are at it again

Meanwhile ron and lavender are in a relationship speedrun in the bg

The lyrics may be weird as shit but get in my mouth is a fucking bop

This is like that b99 meme

Hagrid - the only scottish guy in a story set in scotland

You all remember fAWKES? The phOENIX? dumbledore left him to me when he deid

Brian just shaking darren more violently every time he laughs

So does this mean he was speaking dragon language in avpm or was the dragon speaking english

The school just blamed it on some Latina chic, cause they're racist!

Sssshhhhame on you, sssshhhheamus

Oh my god we're at that scene

You know the one

Scold me professor

That's the most i can type out

Gilderoy the mouse prince

Greatest scene ever

She can't see me unless she touches the notebook. Just the same rules as death note

There's very little we can do about it. You and I are the two stupidest people i know

I got it from professor slughorn before he got busted for "collecting young boys"

You can find harry at your neighbourhood bookstore this fall motherfucker

THIS SCENE

THIS GODDAMN SCENE

That'll be like taking our whole world and- and- fucking it in the face?

They're just resin! And boy howdy do they break like fucking twigs

How about a real butterbeer? Its just cream soda you fucking idiots!

God bless starkid and their spiderman references

I'm just your everyday, working class, blue collar...gay guy with a beard

Joey really made me cry here someone please give ron a hug

Okay alright fuck harry

I'd say we FOUND each other

Fuck the tie

Whoa is that a flying diary? Oh shit

Bloody hell! that snake is almost as big as THIS SNAAAKE

Scarfy is a damn hero

Joe walker dies

I just realized hagrid is not wearing any pants

He wouldn't have wanted you kids to be sad for one moment. He would have wanted you...to be gay 🏳️‍🌈

The hugs are gonna make me cry

Neville is crying i can't-

You are named after two of the bravest men i ever knew

ALBUS SCARFY POTTER

QUIRRELMORT ENDGAME WE REALLY WON FOLKS

He taught me how to love i'm crying

I love them so much

[angelsswirl]

Been Through

Chapter 4: Must be confused about me

Get ya, get ya, get ya shit together. Girl, I got 20/20 vision, and that's the reason I'ma keep my distance.

"I'm on my way to work now. Just dropped Lily off at preschool......Yes, Mom. I vetted the school extensively. She was on the waiting list since she was 2, so it better be worth it.....Okay. I have to go. Yes....I love you too."

You sighed heavily as you removed the phone from your ear.

Your mother, bless her heart, had a affinity for calling you at inopportune times, such as this one.

You were running late for a meeting. You don't like to blame your problems on your daughter, but this one was definitely her fault. After only two and half hours she had gotten attached to both Lisa and Jennie (you wish she would have just picked one and made this easier for you) and proceeded to have a mental breakdown when they eventually had to leave.

That mental break had caused the both of you to lose sleep, which meant you slept right through your alarm, causing Lily to be late for the one day a week that she went to preschool, and making you late for work.

And you hated being late for anything.

So, This was all your daughter's fault.

"Howdy, Boss." Your assistant, Max, greeted you as you trudged into your office. He handed you a warm cup of coffee. You took a sip, letting out a satisfied noise.

"Thanks, Max. I needed this."

He smiled, happy to be of service, "No problem, Boss."

You rolled your eyes, "Didn't I tell you to stop calling me 'Boss'? I'm a publisher who works for a publishing firm, I'm not the owner of this building. I don't sign your checks. That's the boss."

Max just shrugged happily. The beta was always infuriatingly happy.

"And stop saying 'howdy'. It makes me upset."

"You got it, Bos-Mrs. Y/LN."

You sat at your desk with another eye roll, "Maxwell. You know I'm not married. Just call me Y/N."

"But-"

"Aht! Call me Y/N."

You glared at the poor boy until he nodded back. You could feel a migraine sneaking up the back of your skull. After mumbling something unladylike in Korean, you set about turning on your computer.

"So, what's on the agenda today, Max-a-million?"

The twenty year old perked up at the question. The weirdo loved organizing and things of the sort. You're pretty sure his favorite part of the work day was when you asked him what you were supposed to be doing.

"Today is Tuesday. You've got a meeting with the boss in twenty minutes. Then, you have a manuscript in your email that I forwarded you. It needs to be approved by lunch. And by then it will be time to pick up Lily, and you can leave for the day."

You nodded slowly, "If a full manuscript needs to be approved in three hours why did you just now send it to me today?"

Max gulped, you watched his Adam's apple bobble in his throat. You felt bad at the look of pure fear on his face.

"I um...I'm sorry. It was only sent to me this morning. I was told that you already knew about it."

You wracked your brain for any mention of a manuscript approval by absolutely anyone you had ever had a conversation with.

You turned to Max, the headache was shifting forward towards your eyes, "No one told me anything. Ugh! Fine. I'll just have to skim. You can go back to your desk. Thanks, Maximus."

The boy scurried out of your office.

You sighed, then opened your email to locate the manuscript.

It was the last email you had been sent, you hurried to click it open and download it onto your computer.

It looked like a normal manuscript. No frilly font. No decorative cover. Just bare and unblemished. Just how you liked it.

Rosès Are Pink

Though, it had an absolutely shit title. That was an easy fix as long as the author didn't get attached.

Speaking of the author. You could tell it was a pen name. C.R. Park. There was no telling who that could be. But if you approved this manuscript then you'd probably be getting to know them a whole lot more.

You read the first line and frowned. Then you read the next. And the next. And the next. And soon your were through the first five chapters. The frown soon turned into an angry glare.

You dug into your cardigan pocket for your phone. You pulled it out and dialed a increasingly familiar number.

"Hel-"

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"Good morning to you too, Y/N. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE WRITING A BOOK?!"

"I didn't think I needed to?"

"Of course you fucking needed to. I'M IN IT."

"How do you even know that?"

"YOU FUCKING SENT IT TO ME!"

"You can stop yelling now."

"Boss? Are you okay?"

"GET. OUT. MAXIMUM."

"Yes, ma'am."

"I would like to reiterate that I didn't send anything to you. My managers probably did."

"What's the difference? You know I'm a publisher. I was bound to hear of it eventually." You wiped a frustrated hand down your face.

"What's the big deal, Y/N? Did you even read the manuscript?"

"Not all of it."

"Did you like it?"

"Chae, it's magnificent."

"So, what's the problem?

A heavy sigh left your mouth, and with it, your shoulders sag, "I-do you really want to put all of BP's business out there like that?" 'Do you really want to put all of BP's business with me out there like that' is what was really being asked.

"Yeah. The girls and I talked about it for weeks. The group is slowing down and we haven't liked the idea of lying by omission to our fans for awhile now. And I like to write. You don't have to worry anymore. " You could practically hear Chaeyoung's shrug.

"Okay. If you're sure. I hate the title."

Chaeyoung giggled, "So does Lisa. I'll let you fix it. Besides, it's not finished yet."

"You sent me an unfinished manuscript?"

"It doesn't have its happy ending yet."

"And what will that be?"

Chaeyoung paused for a second, "...You tell me."

~~~

"Mommy!" Lily bounded into your arms as soon as she saw you.

You brushed the brunette locks from her eyes and kissed her on the forehead, "Hello, my beautiful baby girl. How was your day today?"

"Good. Miss Taylor let us paint." She bounced in your arms, a semi damp peice of paper in her hands that she wouldn't let you see.

"That sounds like fun. What did you paint?"

"Families."

"Oh?"

"We see Lisa and Jennie today?"

I hope not.

"Not today, sweetheart."

"Oh."

You thought back to the previous day. Lisa was bonding with your kid while you were making out with Jennie on your bed....yep, sounds like you. You had been fine with that turn of events until you stopped kissing Jennie. Well, she stopped kissing you.

She stopped kissing you like she had suddenly remembered she left the stove on at home. You shared a very weird look before she pretty much ran out of your room like a terrified puppy. Or probably, more accurately, someone who just realized they made a mistake.

So, yeah. Now, you weren't so fine with the kiss and you could deal without seeing either of them for a good month.

"Mommy? Why don't I have a daddy or other mommy like the other kids?"

Your kid is trying to kill you. Hmm. What an ironic way to go out.

"Sometimes, kids only have one daddy, or one mommy. Some don't have either at all. But that doesn't make them different or any less special."

"Oh. Okay, " Lily laid her head down softly on your chest. "But I want another mommy. I don't like daddies."

"And you're absolutely valid for that. Mommy doesn't like daddies either."

"I want Jennie or Lisa to be my other mommy."

You had been so close to dodging the fattest bullet in parenting history, but no, your kid really did want you dead.

"We'll see, Dancing Queen. We'll see."

[ruffoverthinksthings]

I like the ship, I really do. If you don't mind can you do that ship list you had before with CJ/Jane?

1.Whois the most affectionate?:

Jane.CJ takes a long while to learn how to say “I love you” with beingcoerced, or feeling the instinctive unease at “showing weakness.”The first time she manages to say it unprompted, though, Jane demandsthat she tell it over and over again, much to CJ’s embarrassment.

2.Bigspoon/Little spoon?:

CJis always the big spoon. Jane enjoys feeling safe and protected by a“ferocious scourge of the seas” and CJ likes feeling in control and being protective over her “beloved First Mate.”

3.Mostcommon argument?:

CJ’smischievous habits and tendency to get into all manner of minortrouble. Jane keeps telling her she doesn’t HAVE to be a pirate,but so many years of buccaneer training and habit takes a while toundo.

4.Favoritenon-sexual activity?:

Stylingand brushing CJ’s hair.

Janehas long been jealous of the many royals who could pull off longhair, due to a mix of not being able to use her magic to modify herhair, and being stuck with the current bob style she had because itdoesn’t grow naturally unlike the others, because Fae Mortal BodyBiology is weird like that.

CJenjoys letting Jane brush, braid, and experiment with her hair, as itmakes Jane happy, and helps her live out at least one part of thechildhood they never had.

5.Whois most likely to carry the other?:

Jane,with the caveat that this is usually hauling CJ away from whatevertrouble she had gotten herself in this time. Jane may be tiny, butyou better believe that mortal body of hers is a LOT stronger than itlooks.

6.Whatis their favorite feature of their partner’s?:

Asmentioned, Jane loves CJ’s hair.

Conversely,CJ really likes staring into Jane’s eyes: “like getting a lost ina sea whose depths I’ll never see nor be able to understand.”They’re also her most common reminder of the fact that like her,Jane has in fact seen shit.

7.What’sthe first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings forthe other?:

CJpanics, threats, and tries to convince herself it’s all still aremnant of her playing with Jane’s feelings and she’s notLEGITIMATELY falling in love with her, pirates don’t do that; theylove passionately for as long as they’re in port, then they leavetheir lovers high and dry, till the next time their paths may crossor to be pined for during a cold night at sea, or when they’retaking care of their bastard child.

Asa result, she hangs out with Jane as much as possible, going out ofher way to arrange things together, to ensure that she mostdefinitely doesn’t love Jane, they’re totally going to enjoythese things as friends slowly piecing their strange friendship backtogether, she’s totally not asking Jane out on dates and trying todo something legit this time, nope.

Piratesdon’t do that, yep-yep.

Janespends a lot of late nights in her room ruminating, reflecting, andasking around (anonymously, or with the other Faeries who know tokeep it out of FG’s earshot or knowledge) about advice on whetheror not it’s actually true, and after the initial ruse is revealed,if she should give CJ a second chance.

Asa result, she goes along with all of CJ’s plans, because she canfind out if she wants to be friends or girlfriends, legitimately thistime.

8.Nicknames?& if so, how did they originate?:

“Captain”for CJ, sarcastically said by Jane whenever she tells her about herlatest endeavour that will definitely end badly. Example: “Captain,as your First Mate, I have to strongly suggest against crashing the Chocolate Ball.”

“FirstMate” for Jane, playfully said by CJ in response to Jane’swarnings. Example: “Well, it’s a good thing you’re just theFirst Mate, and I’m Captain, ‘cause we are swinging straight intothat giant chest of gold-wrapped chocolate coins!”

Othersinclude Blue (for Jane), Callie (for CJ), Baby Jane (for CJ), andMommy (for Jane).

9.Whoworries the most?:

Jane.

CJhas a very laissez-faire towards trouble, always figuring she’llfind some way to get out of her current predicament soon enough; thataside, she doesn’t have the lack of need for sleep, food, orbathroom breaks that Jane has, so she’s too tired or dedicatingmost of her energies towards getting into trouble than worrying aboutit.

10.Whoremembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?:

Jane,by virtue of being unable to forget anything.

11.Whotops?:

Jane.

12.Whoinitiates kisses?:

Jane.See above for the “most affectionate” question.

13.Whoreaches for the other’s hand first?:

CJ,though that was mostly a manipulative tactic by abusing the humaninclination to trust people who touch you. She took Jane’s hand tostop her from saying “No” when she was initially flirting withher as a playful, mean-spirited seduction.

Afterthe big Reveal, it’s Jane, showing that she’s forgiven CJ enoughto want to touch her again.

14.Whokisses the hardest?:

CJ.“She’s smooth like good whiskey, warm like a shitty barrel ofgrog left under the sun, and gets me drunker than either.”

15.Whowakes up first?:

Jane,but she doesn’t really sleep in the first place.

16.Whowants to stay in bed just a little longer?:

Jane. 

CJ is always up and eager at the crack of dawn to get to work, makinggood time out of whatever hours of the day she has.

17.Whosays I love you first?:

Illegitimately,it was CJ, again to try and seduce Jane and coerce her into arelationship.

Afterthat, again, it’s CJ, as Jane specifically refused to say it forfear that CJ might not feel the same still.

18.Wholeaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does itusually say?):

Jane.

“Iknow what you did, and if I don’t, I will find out, so don’t trywhatever shit it is you’re chewing over with this, Captain.”

-First Mate Jane

19.Whotells their family/friends about their relationship first?:

Jane.

Againsther better judgment, she decides to go to the local relationshipexpert and student guidance counselor, Fairy Godmother, and BOY HOWDYwas that a bad idea.

20.Whatdo their family/friends think of their relationship?:

FairyGodmother regrets everything, but understands that the VKs alsodeserve a chance at love, even though she’s going to be screaminginternally for all eternity that she was directly responsible for theease, convenience, and frequency with which her daughter and hergirlfriend can go “below deck.”

Hookis ambivalent towards Jane, so long as CJ knows she will have toditch her the moment she tries to make her do something like settledown and hang up her captain’s hat for good. He’s no stranger tohaving been in love, so he doesn’t really blame her for wanting tobe in a relationship, and assumes that like him, it’s onlytemporary.

21.Whois more likely to start dancing with the other?:

CJ.Jane is still rather shy about this, but CJ has grown up in bars anddecks where bawdy shanties, drinking, and dancing was the norm.

22.Whocooks more/who is better at cooking?:

Jane.

She’shad plenty of time to experiment and has used baked goods as a formof apology and bribery over the years. She can’t really enjoy foodthe way we do, as a big part of the enjoyment of a meal comes fromthe satisfaction of feeling full, and what Jane has is an essentiallybottomless, magical void.

Ona side note, CJ will happily eat anything Jane makes.

23.Whocomes up with cheesy pick up lines?:

CJ.

“I’min the mood to get drunk on booze, and on your love—care to joinme?”

“Avast!A see lovely siren yonder, luring me in with her beauty.”

“Anychance I can have a go at unlocking your treasure chest?”*

*“FUCKING HELL, WHO DESIGNED THESE BRA CLASPS?!”

24.Whowhispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear duringinappropriate times?:

CJ.Jane gets easily flustered by it. During appropriate times, it’sJane.

25.Whoneeds more assurance?:

CJ.She’s constantly in conflict about giving up her lifelong dream ofpirateering for a much more responsible, legal life with Jane. Atleast with Jane, she knows she only has one destiny to worry about.

26.Whatwould be their theme song?:

“Undercover”by Kehlani. 

“One way or another, I’m in love with you/ Slidingunder covers, undercover/ They don’t want to see you happy, we say‘Fuck You!’”

27.Whowould sing to their child back to sleep?:

CJ.Hook made a point of teaching and singing his kids all manner of seashanties, of lost loves, of great treasures, and just enjoying lifeas a pirate out on the open seas.

28.Whatdo they do when they’re away from each other?:

Janeengages in all manner of hobbies to try and pass the time, becauseshe’s got all of eternity to waste and no real pressure to achieveanything.

CJgets into all manner of crimes and mischief, because Jane is prettymuch 90% of her impulse control.

29.oneheadcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart:

Afterseveral years in Auradon and learning all her options to becomebetter than a criminal, CJ finally womans up and tells her fatherthat she is formally going to be joining the Auradonian Royal Guard,the Naval division, to explore the world, sail the seas, and build upcredits for college.

Hooksmiles bitterly, tells her that is her choice, and that from thispoint on, his daughter Calista Jane Hook has died in his eyes, andthat if their paths will ever cross, she should expect no mercy fromhim, and neither should he show her that.

CJspends the night drinking to the memory of the late CJ, Future PirateQueen, killed by the stroke of a pen signing an application form tothe Auradon City Naval Training Base, survived by Calista Jane“Callie” of the Lost.

30.oneheadcanon about this OTP that mends it:

Janecarries and drives home CJ after she finally gets black-out drunk.The next morning, she does everything in her power to sober her thefuck up, cleans up all the spilled alcohol, drool, and vomit fromher, brushes and neatly braids her hair, and drags her over to thenearest full length mirror.

Shehelps her shrug off her red “Captain’s” coat and fold it up forthe last time.

Then,she helps her put on her new coat: blue, with gold buttons, and theinsignia of the Auradon Royal Guard, Navy Division on the collar.

Janekisses Callieon the cheek, before they both look at their reflections in themirror.

“Lookinggood, Captain,”Jane says.

Calliesmiles. “Please, it’s just Ensign. For now.”

[spacemomalex]

So... Sera being unpopular is sexist, but you admitted you don't like her either... so are you calling yourself a sexist then?

Alrighty I hope you’re sitting down because boy howdy do I have a rant for you!

Why I dislike Sera as a person, not a character

As a writer (like many on here) I have an interesting relationship when it comes to my feelings for a story, it’s characters, and my own morality. That means, I am perfectly capable of being incredibly approving of, fascinated by, or even adore a character who’s morality is very different from my own.

This is very true for Sera. As a character, Sera is a complex thought provoking creature. 

As an elf, one would expect her to have an understanding of why racism against elves is such a terrible thing, but she doesn’t. Instead of caring about elves and the struggles they face, she ignores and dismisses them as simply being “too elfy”. Which is a throw back to the people in our world today who are the ones effected by racism, but deny that it exists for “points” with their oppressors/to avoid being oppressed/don’t want to admit how oppression affects them.

She of course brings to our attention racial stereotypes, (her conversation about how most elves can’t actually shoot a bow), but again doesn’t seem to realize that those stereotypes can be harmful to other elves. (Say, an elf who can’t shoot worth a damn is brought along and given a bow and told to fight. Despite their protests that they can’t shoot one, they are dismissed and as a result people get hurt and killed and the elf is blamed for not helping. Even though they made it clear that they could not shoot, the fact that the stereotype was so reinforced in everyone else’s mind, they ignored that fact and it would be their fault people were hurt. Not the fault of the elf who couldn’t shoot in the first place and tried to prevent this from happening.) 

This applies to when talking about the Dalish. Sera constantly refuses to understand them or their ways, or why city elves try to follow the old customs. Writing them off as simply ‘old’ and therefore not worth her time to learn or apply to her own life. She simply refuses to see how human oppression of elves truly affects elves and firmly believes that the only problem is the nobility and pride.

Even when supplied with firm proof that the elves have every reason to be “elfy”- as shown with the scroll about Red Crossing and the temple of mythal- she is steadfast in her denial of elven culture.

This makes her fascinating. It makes her a commentary that we should look into and ponder over our own actions and thought processes regarding race and oppression. I love her as a character because we get to see this young girl, hurt by a parental figure be allowed to grow into a young woman who still feels the affects of that. We get to see this young woman who is not shamed for her past and allowed to make mistakes because of it.

As a person though? Sera is a willfully ignorant prideful little shit who doesn’t want to admit that things are more complex than what she wants to believe. Why? Because she doesn’t want to admit she was ever wrong. I can understand why she feels this way, having been raised by an abusive human, but I was also raised by abusive racist, sexist, ableist, homophobic assholes and I will always fight for the rights of the oppressed groups these things hurt. Because I know better about how my privileges and the parts of me people are trying to oppress. Sera never learns how to be a better person and understand her own race better.

This mindset is one in the world today that we are all watching destroy our freedoms. I dislike Sera as a person because she is the exact kind of close-minded person that allows racism and other oppression to roam free, and at times even contribute to it, that I try to fight against. 

Why Sera is Horrible LGBTA+ Representation

As I said on the confessions, Sera should not be considered good representation of a lesbian relationship. Why? Because she’s childish and manipulative and close minded.

That really should be enough, but let me go into explicit detail.

On the childishness of Sera, let’s talk about her prank pulling. I will say this, her prank pulling and hatred of the extreme magical bullshit going on was refreshing. It was so nice to see a character who was just an every day person getting caught up in things far beyond the natural world. Even more nice to see a gut busting girl who didn’t care what others thought of her and was solely herself and enjoyed bringing stuffy folk down to a more human level. The problem with this however? It plays into her utter denial of the elven gods and culture and to things outside of the “norm”- such as Cole. It plays into her prank pulling actually being cruel at times because of her lack of awareness for the suffering of others.

When she spoke to Cole, she referred to him as a ‘thing’. She never considered the possibility that someone so different from herself deserves recognition as a person- and that’s a shitty fucking thing to do. Cole may not have started out human, but he tried so hard to be kind and to help others, she, as somebody who was not normal herself and had faced dehumanizing treatment, should have known better. After Cole had proven time and time again that he did not deserve the awful treatment, she never changed from that hateful dismissing stance about him. (not that I saw anyway) 

(Note; I also realize that Vivienne and Blackwall were not the nicest to Cole either, but I could write a ten page book on why Vivienne is a boss anyway because, at least, she avoided Cole and had some fucking class. Blackwall I just despise in general and I will always hate that creep)

When she pulled her pranks, she never considered the potential harm they could do. For example, making Cullen’s desk wobble? Amusing, definitely, had Cullen been a normal man. But Cullen is a recovering drug addict and a survivor of some rather extreme trauma, it’s obvious he suffers from severe PTSD. I’m positive that any “controlling” behavior he had towards his own personal desk space did stem from a need to control his surroundings after the terrible events he suffered. Her making the desk wobble could potentially cause a minor break for Cullen if it was a bad day for him. But she doesn’t take that into consideration, she only blows off Cullen as “too uptight” without seeming to understand. Like, there’s plenty of pranks you can pull on somebody that won’t have a negative effect on them. And what about the water bucket on Josie? Granted meeting with nobles is boring and annoying, but the Inquisition NEEDED their support. The Inquisition needed important allies so that they wouldn’t be attacked or turned against. She could have turned away potential allies just because she wanted to humiliate Josie. And Josie didn’t even deserve that! Josie (and Cullen!) worked so hard to keep the Inquisition from going under so that they could save the world. I didn’t see Sera consider these consequences and that bothers me to no end. Pranks are fun, but there is a time and place for the, and a way to do them. Sera didn’t do any of that. (She also put lizards in Solas bedroll- what if one bit him and it was poisonous? Would she have cared?)

And! She doesn’t take her relationship with the Inquisitor seriously at all at first! She writes off the Inquisitor’s interest and says she only wants fun. Somebody who’s only looking for a fling and basically says they do not want to have a relationship with you is not somebody who is ready for a relationship. Especially since later she basically tells the Inquisitor that they do have a relationship and that the Inquisitor can either choose to keep Sera by saying her entire culture is a lie, or lose Sera. What a terrible thing to ask somebody to do. 

If someone who was barely a christian demanded that I give up my gods just because they didn’t believe in them, I would tell them to take a fucking hike off a cliff. A god you don’t even really believe is not more important than the gods I have devoted myself to. What you want and you believe should not matter more than what I want and believe. If you cannot respect my beliefs, then I have no respect for you and you clearly do not love me enough if you cannot respect my love for them. And, if you ask me to give up my gods for you, then what else will you ask of me? What else will I have to lose to satisfy you? This is the logic I apply to any and all relationships.

Again, while this makes for an interesting story and dynamic between the inquisitor and Sera- what does love mean between the two of them. In my rather hefty experience in the dating world, it sets up a platform for abuse and manipulation.

So let’s review; Sera doesn’t consider the consequences of her actions in relation to the thoughts, feelings, and needs of those she says she loves. Is that somebody we really want representing lesbians? As a (genderfluid/demi) girl who wants a relationship with a woman, Sera is not someone I want people to look at and think ‘oh, so that’s what women who like women are like’.

Especially when compared to literally ANY of the other women available for a lesbian romance. Or are they simple not up for considering because they’re bi in many cases? Are bi women who love women somehow less important to you? Think on that before you consider Sera as a good representation of a gay relationship please and thank you.

Character Critique VS Sexism

And now onto the main point you are so backwardly trying to be clever about.

When it comes right down to it, you can dislike a female character without it being sexist. For example, I dislike Sera, as a person, because, again, I find her childish, arrogant, and borderline abusive.

The reason such characters like Sera are generally unpopular does have a lot to do with sexism I will not deny that. And it has to do with having so few genuinely interesting female characters, that many will take whatever they can get. But not enough of them will. Many are still stuck in how wonderful and amazing the male characters are, that many females characters fall to the wayside. Sera is no exception. Because she is not an attractive male that they can ship with another attractive male, Sera is simply not going to have as many supporters as say, Dorian (whom I have an entire rant on why he’s good gay representation, but also cliched). That means they are going to be more critical of her flaws and failings, without taking into account why she is such a good character because sexism in the offline reality is so critical of women in the first place.

Sweeping statements of Sera being annoying “like all women” or writing her off as only childish without understanding her own problems with accepting herself because of her foster mother’s abuse, is sexist. I am capable of feeling sorry for Sera and wanting the best for her, while also understanding that she is not the only representation of all lesbians. Not everyone is capable of doing that yet. People, especially men, brain washed women, and younger folk, simply do not have the tools at their disposal (nor want them) to understand that Sera is simply one kind of woman and should be thought about more deeply.

And that doesn’t take into account how Sera is not a dynamic character. She just barely changes throughout the story line. She (along with others, and I have some major words to share with Bioware about the lack of character growth in their stories) remains the same childish, mildly manipulative, arrogant, brain washed racist and does learn any lessons from her time with the Inquisition. Her character, and her story line, I chalk up to male writers just, being honestly not very good writing female characters in general. She could have been an amazing character, a really amazing person, but all in all I feel she just falls flat on the things that truly matter to me as a person.

I could go on, but I would be repeating myself on this particular section.

So, TLDR; Your reach is not clever. If you had bothered to actually read my post you would have seen that I brought up legitimate points of criticism of Sera’s character- such as her deep set racism born of self loathing and brain washing, her manipulative and childish behavior and her lack of change through the story line. I’m not impressed by your salty attempt to make me look bad because you don’t like what I had to say about Sera.