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jkbabiey · 4 years

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𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚔 𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎 ⤇ 𝙹𝙹𝙺

Words: 2.9K

Pairing: Jungkook x doctor!reader

Genre: angst; fluff; established relationship au ; minor character death :(((

Synopsis: “He would never make you feel any less for having a human side, a weak side. Instead, he would embrace it with everything he had. Always.”

Song Rec: End of a day - Jonghyun ; Breathe - Lee Hi ; That's Okay - D.O. ; Not Alone - NCT 127 ; Try Again - Jaehyun, d.ear ; Inner Child - V ; Through the night - IU ; Be Your Enemy - Taemin, Wendy

The heavy rain fell like never before. The streets were completely drenched and, unfortunately for your completely timid and, currently, partially stoic nature, completely crammed. Your shift in the hospital had just ended. You were exhausted and, on days like this, you couldn’t find your job as a cardiothoracic surgeon more bitter. You loved your job, after the many hardships you’d had to endure to get to the position you are in today and so much effort you had to put into it, you couldn’t have any doubts about your love towards medicine and surgery. And you didn’t.

But the truth is that doing what you do every single day - fighting death itself - wasn’t easy. It takes a colossal number of rocky roads to fully accept and understand that some lives are just too frail for you to save, and, sometimes death is just too stubborn and strong-willed to let you win.

You hadn’t travelled all those paths yet.

Today, you had lost 2 of your patients. Patients you had been following and helping for the last 2 years of your medical career. They held a soft spot in your heart, and they both had had surgical procedures today, with you as their surgeon, as always. But during their surgeries, there were several amounts of complications and your patients weren’t strong enough to handle all the fights they had yet to battle. Unfortunately.

You were still a 29-year-old girl. You were still a dewy-eyed silly over-emotional and easily-attached little girl. To lose 2 of your favourite patients in one day was still way too much for you. But, among your group of friends, you were the hardcore one and you hadn’t cried. Your weak and human side was the last thing you wanted to show to your colleagues. The competitiveness that ruled the medical industry wouldn’t allow you. You had worked hard to build up the reputation you held today among everyone in the hospital. The hardcore emotionless goddess of surgery.

And even though you were, indeed, a hardcore surgery goddess, you were far from emotionless. You cried watching sad movies and were one of the few doctors that actually spent some time of their day to get to know their patients. You were pretty sure, you were going to cry as soon as you got to your black G-class Mercedes Benz, closed all your windows and called your boyfriend. You were sure you would call him as soon as your ass landed on the driver’s seat, and you were sure you would start to cry as soon as you heard his soft boyish voice. Because, amongst all of the soft spots in your heart, he owned the softest of them all. And to talk to him was exactly what you needed.

So, when you got to your car and hopped into it, you looked for his name on your contact list on your phone, for the slightest seconds, because he was right on top of it, from how often you contacted him.

‘Dickhead <3’

Calling…

Call declined.

And that’s when you remembered the small petty argument you two had had the previous night.

The night before

You were still seating in the dinner table, a pout on your lips while you tried to count how many plates you’d have to wash. Your boyfriend had already abandoned you to play with his friend, Taehyung, leaving you and the uncountable plates you had to handwash because Jungkook had decided to ruin your dishwasher. You had had a long day and you really weren’t seeing any way you could handwash so many plates all by yourself. So you decided your boyfriend would be your best and most viable solution. So you stood up from the kitchen’s table stool and walked towards the living room’s sofa in tiny weary steps.

“Guk, can you please help me do the dishes tonight?” you asked after sitting next to him, using the cutest voice you could remember and the most adorable face expression you thought he would fall for.

“Nope, today’s your day,” he answered shortly, not tearing his eyes from the videogame one single moment.

“Babe, please, I had a long day.”

“Yeah, me too. Go do the dishes.”

“I helped you do the dishes last week and you never returned the favour,” you pouted.

“Are you seriously going to keep bothering me? I have one moment to relax by myself, and you have to come here and ruin it!”

Your eyes widened, not expecting him to snap at you so quickly, and for something so small.

“I had a hard day, and I haven’t had a moment for myself as well. Can’t you just help me this once?”

You knew you were being bratty and childish and, probably, a pain in his ass. You knew he probably had also had a very tiring day, after all, he’s Jeon Jungkook, Korea’s golden boy. But you were just so tired, and at least the presence of your boyfriend in the kitchen as you two did the dishes, would surely, make the task a lot more enjoyable.

“Is it so hard to do the fucking dishes? Are you that dim-witted?”

You knew he didn’t mean to call you dumb. If someone asked him, on any other day, about what made him fall for you, he would probably answer something about how intelligent you were, but this time you got affected by his comment. Probably because, that same day, your superior had said you weren’t good enough to be a surgeon due to you being late to his presentation – “A good surgeon is never late, maybe you should reconsider your options.”, those were his words.

“Fuck you Jungkook,” you finally said, turning your back on him, deciding to do the dishes by yourself.

“No, fuck you!” he shouted, throwing the controller to the couch after pausing his game.

He stood up, following you to the kitchen in quick heavy steps. He was looking for a fight. You weren’t in the mood to argue right now, so as soon as you got to the kitchen, you decided to forcefully close the door on his face.

He didn’t barge in as you expected - he could be quite explosive. When you finished cleaning the kitchen and went to your shared bedroom, he was already in bed, laying down only in his underwear and playing something on his phone. You took your clothes off - needless to say, he didn’t spare you a glance. Even the next morning, when you two woke up at 6 AM to go to work, you two never said a word and he didn’t kiss you goodbye like he always did.

Two could play that game.

But, truth is, you couldn’t play that game.

You loved him too much. But he had just declined your call and you didn’t know how to deal with that. So you drove home as fast as you could, still not a single tear on your cheeks, and when you finally barged into your shared apartment, you saw Jungkook laying on the couch and watching a movie. He, once again, didn’t spare you a glace, and his face was completely disinterested in your sudden presence.

“Stop being a dick!” you yelled at him, your voice cracking, from how long you had been holding back your tears. His eyes were quickly directed to you, and his eyebrows furrowed when he noticed the shiny look in your eyes, sitting up on the couch, and staying there, unsure of what was happening. Until tears started running freely along your soft blushed cheeks and you took both your hands to wipe them away. That’s when he stood up, and rushed to you, standing in front of you and softly holding your wrists, so he could pull them away from your face.

“What happened?” he asked softly and your sobs only seemed to intensify. He picked you up, holding you tightly in his arms, your legs wrapped around his waist and your face hidden in the crook of his neck. Then he sat with you back in the couch and waited for you to calm down, not saying anything. Just rubbing your back and playing with the roots of your hair.

Then you finally calmed down and decided to pull your face away from his neck, to look him in the eye, for the first time in the whole day.

“What happened baby?” he repeated softly, nudging your still wet nose with his own and you looked down, playing with you fingers.

“My life sucks.”

“Why?”

“My week has been a nightmare so far and now you’re a dick and I really wanted to talk to you just now but you declined my call and I really can’t stand you,” you stated, your voice cracking numerous times, and Jungkook chuckled looking at how helpless you looked and you really wanted to slap him, but then he pecked your lips and grabbed the back of your head, bringing it back to his chest and laying down in the sofa, with you on top of him.

“C’mon, tell what got you all worked up…” he muttered playfully, lovingly looking down at you.

And that’s when tears started pouring out of your eyes once again. At some point, you were already uncontrollably sobbing in his chest, your fists grabbing his shirt and Jungkook’s grip on you tighter than before. The look on his face wasn’t playful anymore, and the furrowed brows and worried eyes were back, his full attention on you.

"I-i had the worst day Jungkook," you let out in a tremulous waver. Jungkook encouraged you to keep going, even though no else but him - that had met you for about 9 years now and knew you better than anyone else ever could - would understand a single word that came out of your mouth. "When I started working as a surgeon there were these 2 charts that were handed to me. An old grumpy man named Charles and a 16-year-old girl, Jessica, the typical teenager who thinks she knows it all. They had pretty severe heart diseases and even though Charles didn't even like me at first and Jessica called me an 'ugly bitch' the first day I met her, I took care of them. They went through a lot and they were so strong. I gave so much of myself to make them stay, you know? I worked so hard to keep them safe," you cried and even though Jungkook already knew what this was about, he prefered to let you let it all out, just humming from time to time. "They've been with me since day 1, they've watched me become a better surgeon and a better person overall. They were closer to me than my own friends” You stopped talking for a few minutes, while Jungkook kissed the crown of your head and your breathing calmed down

"Jessica was turning 18 next week. She was a total romantic. I used to talk to her about us." Jungkook smiled. "Most of the times me and you argued, she was the one to tell me what to do. I talked about you to Charles once. He didn’t really like you that much. But I think it was more of a protective instinct than anything else." you paused and Jungkook kissed your forehead, in a way of support. You closed your eyes and sighed.

"They had surgeries today. I mean, I'm not dumb, I knew by their vitals that they weren't going to last as long as I wanted them to, but I just wasn't prepared," you voice started cracking and wavering once again and the tear stains that had already dried out were once again freshly wet. "Surgery was too much for them, I shouldn't have done it," you cried out. " I am so sorry, this was all my fau-"

"It wasn't... It wasn't your fault. You're a surgeon, it's your job and unfortunately, this is a part that comes with it. It's not your fault. You're an amazing surgeon, they knew it and they trusted you with their lives for 2 years. You never let them down, but no one lasts forever and they were no exception. As you said, they all had severe diseases and even though you're a great surgeon, which was proven with how you kept them here for 2 whole years, you can't always conceive miracles. It was not your fault.”

You two kept quiet after that, you knew he was right. Of course, he was, he was Jungkook. You weren't crying anymore and a great part of that was due to Jungkook's back rubs and constant forehead kisses.

“You know, Jessica never had her first kiss” you whispered. “I used to tell her kissing was disgusting anyways, so she wouldn’t feel left behind by other girls her age” you giggled softly and Jungkook stroked your curly hair, smiling.

“Charles was pretty rude at first, we disliked each other for about 2 weeks and then he told me I reminded him of his daughter because she was also the feisty type. They didn’t get along very well. Haven’t talked to each other for two whole years and today I had to call her after the surgery and tell her that her amazing dad had just died on the table. What hurts the most is that she was so unbothered, I was probably way more devastated than her. He was almost like a father to me.”

"They sound amazing," he commented after you stopped talking.

"They were amazing," you muttered and smiled, sighing softly a bit after and looking up to your boyfriend, who was still massaging your back, his hand was underneath your shirt, directly placed on your skin. He knew his touch always calmed you down, even in the toughest of situations. He would always be the one to get to soothe your nerves. You had met him 9 years ago, but every single moment with him still felt like the first. He was the only one who got to see this side of you. He knew how it was behind the scenes. Behind the perfect and intelligent facade laid some painful experiences and he had lived every single one of them with you. He had experienced the sleepless nights before an exam. He had woken up in the middle of the night to find you seated on the living room’s couch with a cup of hot chocolate in your hands and tear-stained cheeks, all this coming from the constant doubt you would never be able to get rid of and that still haunted you today. ‘Am I good enough for this?’ And he would always stay up, reassuring you that ‘Yes, you’re good enough’ and he would repeat that as many times as you needed him to. Because he knew you were good enough. God, you were so much more than enough.

Jungkook loved you beyond question. You meant the world to him. And looking down at you, he couldn’t help but think about the topic that hadn’t left his mind for the whole week. And that had been the cause for the snappy temper you had been obligated to deal with these past days. He had been pestering his members with this same topic too, and they were already sick of telling him to ‘go for it’. He couldn’t stop thinking about it.

What if it’s too soon? How could it be too soon? He had met you 9 years ago and started dating you 3 years after that. Of course it wasn’t too soon.

What if you didn’t want to be committed to him in that way? Jungkook knew you had quite a problem with commitment, you were terrified of getting committed to something for a lifetime. But... damn... You loved him. He could see it behind your eyes whenever you looked at him. Or in the way you’d lay awake in the middle of the night staring at his face, illuminated by the moon’s shine, and thinking he was asleep. Or in the way you were so comfortable with him, to the point of laying on top of him, eating chocolate cookies, wearing white cotton panties and a t-shirt of his that looked way too large on you, probably because you measured only 5′1′’. You both knew that he was your safe space and you were his.

You would never break down like this in public, in front of your colleagues or your superiors. You couldn’t. But with him, you knew you could and you would anytime you needed to. Because with him you knew you were safe. There would never be any judging. He would never make you feel any less for having a human side, a weak side. Instead, he would embrace it with everything he had.

Always.

“Will you marry me?”

#jeon jungkook #jungkook scenarios #jungkook scenario #jungkok bayby #jungkook baby #jungkook masterlist #jungkook #jungkook doctor au #jungkook reaction #jeon jungguk #jungkoo #doctor au #doctor!reader #established relationship #established rp #would you marry me #marriage au #angst #fluff

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taehyungiestummy · 6 years

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Blood, Sweat, and Tears -- Chapter Sixteen

Masterlist Previous Next

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 6216

I skip down the hallway towards what used to be my father’s office, but I need to start thinking of it as an office that I am sharing with my brother. Either way, I am late to a meeting that I didn’t even know was happening until this morning, and honestly, I was still trying to process last night’s events to even care that much about the meeting.

“They can’t start without me, so they will wait until I show up,” I shrug.

It feels like an eternity since the last proper meeting that Yoongi and I held. A lifetime ago when our father was alive, and my biggest worry was dealing with the Fakes. This meeting is going to set the bar for all that is going to come from now on.

I make it to the office door, swinging it open to announce my presence as I step inside.

But no one even glances in my direction; they are all too deep into conversations to notice.

Yoongi is at the head of the meeting table talking to Taemin, Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung. I can tell without hearing a word that they are worrying about something that happened last night, and they need to figure it out fast.

Off to the right side of the table, Namjoon and Hoseok are deep in a conversation that better not be focused on what Namjoon learned just an hour or so before in the kitchen.

“Areum,” Sooyoung’s voice is a whisper as she steps up next to me.

“God, Pebble, nice to see you,” I chuckle, linking my arm with my best friend. “Thanks for last night. You really saved my ass.”

She giggles, dragging us over to the empty seats at what is my head of the table now. “Well, I knew that you probably went off to get some, and I couldn’t let anyone ruin that for you.”

I roll my eyes, “You’re not wrong, but don’t bring that up right now.” I plop down in my seat, turning to place my legs over the arm rest.

“Why? You’ll become a blushing mess?” She settles into her seat, smirking like the evil teasing girl she is.

“Just let it go until you are dying my hair later,” I wave her off.

“Are you seriously going to dye your hair? What color are you thinking?”

“Like a midnight blue,” I tap my fingers on the table. “What do you think about that? Think it would reflect how I am right now?”

“Definitely,” Sooyoung nods a few times. “It’s about damn time that you dyed your hair. Everyone here seems to change their colors up constantly.”

“There’s a reason for that,” I waggle my index finger at her.

“I think these boys have become addicted to different hair colors, though,” she shrugs.

“That might be true. It is better than drugs, so I can’t complain.” I look over to see Yoongi still deep in conversation with the four other boys. “Hey! Gossip kings!”

All the boys look over at me; small smiles on most of their faces.

“Can we get this party started now or what? You’ve been whispering up there for way too long. You have to share with the class after some time,” I grin, feeling like the leader I have always mean to be.

“She’s right,” Yoongi runs a hand through his hair. “Everyone, sit down, and then we will get to business.”

The four boys around Yoongi disperse in seconds. Jungkook sits down next to Sooyoung, and Taemin sits down next to him. Jimin takes his place next to me, and Taehyung sits down next to him with Namjoon and then Hoseok on his other side.

“Damn baby girl, when did you get so demanding?” Jimin chuckles as he reaches over to pinch my cheek.

I slap at his hand, “I’ve always been like this. How else will you boys listen to me?”

“She has to keep the balance,” Taehyung’s voice is just above a whisper; his eyes flickering over to me as a tiny smirk forms on his lips.

I feel the squeal aimed at Taehyung fizzle in my throat, as any interaction with him would send my brother into a spiral. Instead I just glare at my boyfriend who just dives into hacking on his laptop.

“Was that a reference to the bedroom?” Jimin is careful to keep his voice down.

“Oh, you know it was,” Sooyoung smirks, leaning back in her chair.

“I regret telling you so many things,” I grumble. “In this moment, I hate you all.”

“Okay, if I can have everyone’s attention,” Yoongi speaks up from his standing position at the end of the table, getting everyone besides Taehyung to look over in his direction. “Before we touch on the negative, there was a lot of positives that came out of last night. For starters, all of the partners that my father was working with will continue to be with us, and are happy that Areum and I are going to be taking over. They are happy that we will keep the family name alive, and that we are feeling up to get back to work.”

“Life stops for nothing,” I comment. “We have to pull ourselves together and get back to reality.”

“That is why we had the party to get some of the younger people into the business, and I am happy to report that we were able to get five new little businesses to partner up with us.”

“I say that at least three of those are because the guys in charge have the biggest crush on Areum,” Hoseok giggles.

“Are we betting?” Taemin perks up, looking around at everyone.

“I can’t help that I am super cute,” I sigh, wiggling around in my chair. “Yoongi won’t let those idiots come close to me anyways.”

“Only in professional meetings,” Yoongi firmly states. “Now, onto why I wanted to hold this meeting in the first place. In the past few days, the main Bangtan bank account, as well as Areum and my accounts, have been receiving money from nowhere. The bank can’t tell me where any of it is coming from, but they all come with notes that are encrypted that the hackers are doing their best to figure out.”

“I believe that it is the Red Wolves,” Taehyung speaks up in a monotone voice that makes me a bit sad. “I have been working hard to try and find any leads that they are doing anything, but it is just dead end after another. They are good at hiding, but I just need to find the right path.”

“The Red Wolves are the only ones that are after us for no reason, and they never back down no matter what we do,” I cross my arms. “They have some sort of vendetta against us, but from my understanding they are the ones who started this whole bullshit fight. It is just a matter of time before we corner them.”

“And we have the manpower to take them out once we find them out,” Jimin boasts.

“Moving on from that, since V is doing all he can for more than just that task, Taemin has had a development with the guy at the bar,” Yoongi steers the conversation back on track.

“Ah, yes,” Taemin slowly pushes his chair away from the table so he can stand up. “The man has not missed a single day of coming into the bar, which is not that weird most of the time. However, he has been alone every single time until a few nights ago. He met up with a lady about twenty-five years older than him, I’d say.”

I feel my whole-body tense as I remember the lady who came up to me in the bathroom at The Lotus, and how she was clearly a member of the Red Wolves. If she is the one who visited the guy at the bar, then we have a serious problem. And one of those problems is me not being able to remember what she looks like.

“They sat at a booth all the way in the back, and talked for a few hours,” Taemin continues. “None of the servers could get their names, and they paid with cash. The CCTV’s were able to capture sort of okay video clips of them, but so far the hackers have not been able to give a definitive match with anyone in the area.”

“I have no proof, but I have a gut feeling that they are both Red Wolves members,” I tap my index finger on the table a few times.

Taehyung tilts his head just enough for us to lock gazes. “The Lotus?” He mouths, remembering just like I did.

My shoulders move up slightly in a shrug before I look away.

“I get the vibe too, Bambi,” Taemin nods at me. “They aren’t really doing anything wrong, though, so we can’t do anything at the moment. I just keep my eye on them, so that if they were to act out of line, we’d be on them in seconds.”

“They want us to know they got together,” I let my hands clench into fists. “Why else would they come to a Bangtan owned bar?”

“To hack into our systems there,” Taehyung answers. “Someone has tried to get in recently, with no luck, of course. Us hackers are the best of the best.”

“They are plotting something, and I hate that we can’t figure out what it is.”

“We will,” Taemin takes his seat, scooting back up to the table. “I doubt they will attack out of nowhere, or start a fight in a public place. We still have plenty of time to figure out what is going on.”

“They’re playing with fire,” I roll my eyes.

“They’ll get burned with the time is right, Bambi,” Yoongi is now sitting, arms on the table as he leans forward. “Now, Jungkook, you have a mission to report on.”

“Yes,” Jungkook intertwines his fingers, placing his hands behind his head. “Just a few nights ago, I took out two Red Wolves’ members that were messing around outside a Lee’s Supermarket. A business that we work close with. They looked to be messing with security cameras, and possibly waiting to tamper with some deliveries.”

“Why would they do that?” Sooyoung questions.

“I think that it must be to hurt the Bangtan name, since we work so close with that business,” Yoongi answers. “Bangtan does the security for all the buildings, and we are partners with the shipment business. If both of those were to fail, we would be to blame.”

“So, I took them out,” Jungkook finishes his story with a shrug. “It seems like the Red Wolves are getting braver with going out and trying to tamper with us. I’m sure I’ll be taking out a few more of their pairs before long.”

“What now?” Namjoon speaks up. “Do we need to come up with a plan?”

“All I can do is hack, so I am trying to give us some more leads,” Taehyung replies. “Suga, you said that there is stuff in this room that you still are trying to decipher.”

“He’s left the deciphering to me,” I raise my hand for a few seconds. “Not that I have gotten anywhere. People are helping gather all the hi-lighted words into charts, so that has been helpful at least.”

“Once you break into our father’s computer, that is when everything will unravel,” Yoongi nods a few times. “I think that he has a lot of information locked in there for some reason. Why he wouldn’t leave instructions to let us in is beyond me.”

“He wants to make sure that only those who are meant to get in do so,” Jimin says. “If he left a note with clear instructions, then anyone might be able to get in.”

“I think we can also put some hidden microphones in the bar to try and pick up on the conversations of the man and the lady if they come back,” Taemin adds in. “There was too much noise last time the met, and we couldn’t hear a single thing they said.”

“I think that we wait for them to come to us,” Hoseok speaks out. “If they want a fight, then they can come and get it.”

“I’d love to kick some ass,” I smirk, rubbing my hands together. “I am sick of those assholes ruining my life and trying to hurt my family.”

“That’s why we are going to come out on top,” Sooyoung shrugs, filling the room with a calm. “We don’t need to worry about anything because in the end, Bangtan will be the ones that will still be standing. Those Red Wolves don’t know what shit they are getting into.”

********

I stare out the window as Namjoon drives away from the mansion. Out of all the days I would rather not go to university, today has to top the cake with the new rules that Yoongi has put into place for me.

“Don’t think too negatively, Areum,” Namjoon glances back at me through the rearview mirror. “It’ll just be a few more weeks, and then you don’t have to deal with those people again.”

I groan, pulling my gaze away from the window. “That’s comforting, and all, but being forced to go back to the classroom means that the Fakes are going to come up to me, and I just want them to stop. They keep texting me, and tagging me in pictures on Instagram. No matter what I do, they just don’t get it. They don’t understand that I do not like them. So, I am the most pissed about that new rule that Yoongi has set in place for me.”

“You don’t have to listen to him, ya know? You are an adult too. He may be your older brother, but just because your father is gone, doesn’t mean that makes him the boss of you.”

“He just worries about me,” I sigh, running a hand over my now midnight blue hair. “I listen to him because I don’t want him to worry any more than he does. With what happened to our parents, I don’t blame him for his worries. I’m sure that he is trying to teach me something too.”

“What could he possibly be trying to teach you?”

“How to act towards people that you despise,” I chuckle. “He’s done damage control with the fathers of the Fakes, but he made it clear to them that I was not going to suck up to their daughters anymore. That I was not being true to myself, and their daughters are not the friends I would ever have around me.”

“Does that mean you won’t blow up at them again?”

“I make no promises,” I frown as the car pulls up to the university’s main building.

“I wish you luck, then,” Namjoon puts the car in park.

“Thanks, Joonie,” I weakly smile, grabbing my backpack as I shove the car door open. “I’ll see you later, unless Taehyung comes to pick me up, but who knows if he will.”

“I still can’t believe that you have a boyfriend,” he chuckles.

“Whatever,” I roll my eyes. “Bye.” I jump out of the car.

“Bye!” Namjoon’s voice reaches me before I push the door shut.

As I begin my trek towards the door, Namjoon drives away in the black BMW. If the weather wasn’t beginning to prepare us for winter, a lot more people would be outside with me, and I would have to deal with a lot more stares.

I just wish that I was at home, doing work at the seat next to my desk as Taehyung hacks away. There would be no worrying about what people think about me, or having to deal with people that just can’t get it through their thick skulls that I am over them. There would just be love all around me.

It takes just a few minutes to reach my Japanese class, opening the door and heading straight to the seat that I claimed as mine the first day of class. My classmates are glancing over at me, but there are no whispers of surprise at seeing me. It is just how I wished it would be like.

I pull my pencil pouch, folder, notebook, laptop, and water bottle out of my backpack to settle back into my classroom routine. Now I just have to hope that I am left alone until class begins.

“Areum, it is so good to see you,” Blondie’s voice shatters my peaceful thoughts.

“You have to be fucking kidding me,” I mumble to myself, wishing that I could turn invisible.

“She’s always in the library,” Chewing Gum says. “Like she’s trying to avoid people.”

“They say people who go through trauma do out-of-the-norm things,” Glasses comments. “Look, she’s even dyed her hair.”

“I hate Yoongi so much right now,” I place my fists on my lap, trying not to think of how satisfying it would be to smack these girls.

“Are you not even going to look at us?” Cheekbones asks as the four of them step up to my desk. “We’ve missed you so much, even after the incident when you were with that motorcycle boy.”

“None of you are in this class,” I tilt my head to barely look up at them. “If you could please leave, as there is only a few minutes until the start, that would be great.”

“What is up with you?” Blondie places her hand on my shoulder, but I quickly move out of her grasp. “If you would just tell us what is bothering you, we could help you out. If you need to see a grief counselor, I’ll find you the best one in the city.”

“I don’t need a grief counselor,” I glare up at the girl. “What I need, is for the four of you to leave me alone.”

“For how much longer?” Glasses questions. “We have been giving you space for weeks now. We didn’t even come up to you are the Halloween party that Bangtan hosted.”

“Forever,” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “I want you to stay away and never talk to be ever again.”

“But we are your friends, and we want to make sure that you are okay,” Cheekbones whines.

The laugh that leaves my mouth is one filled with venom at the statement that the ditz just spit out. “You think that we are friends?”

“Of course,” Blondie firmly nods. “We’ve been friends since high school. Our fathers work together, so it was only a matter of time before we would meet and hang out. We’ve spent time at each other’s houses, and we text each other, and share fashion tips.”

“If it wasn’t for my father, there is no way in hell that I would have ever spent a second with any of you,” I shake my head. “I was forced to hang out with you, to be friendly to you, and I hated every single second of it.”

“You’re just saying that because you are still grieving,” Glasses stomps her foot once as if that shows what she is talking about.

“She’s right,” Blondie takes a deep breath. “We’re best friends. You and I are super close, and you are just stressed with everything that has been going on in your life.”

“No,” I stare right at Blondie. “My best friends name is Sooyoung, and she has been with me since my mother was murdered. She knows more about me than you will ever know. She has always been by my side not because of the money that the Min’s have collected, but because she has wanted to get to know me. Areum is not some puppet that you can suck up to so that you can get ahead in this world.”

“Now you are just talking crazy,” Cheekbones pouts. “We know a lot about you.”

“Oh, do you now?” The venom laced laugh leaves my mouth once again.

“Ask us any question, I bet we can answer it,” Chewing Gum crosses her arms over her chest as she blows a gum bubble.

“What is my preferred fighting style?” I smirk as their faces go blank.

“Trick question, you don’t fight,” Cheekbones points an index finger at the ceiling.

“Wrong. I am trained in knife throwing, kick-boxing, and firearms. I have just started training in karate. If it came down to it, I could fight all of the kids in here, at once.”

“Ask something else,” Glasses waves her hand across her face.

“Fine,” I run a hand through my hair in annoyance at the girls. “What is my dogs name?”

“That’s easy, you and Yoongi have Holly,” Blondie grins, looking like she just won a trivia contest.

“Holly is only Yoongi’s dog.” I scoff, “My husky’s name is Snow. Want to try another question?”

“Well, we know that you have a boyfriend,” Cheekbones blurts out.

“Oh, yeah, the vampire at the party,” Glasses slaps her fist into the palm of her other hand. “You slow danced with him, and then kissed before we lost sight of you.”

“I remember his name, um, Taehyung,” Blondie nods a few times.

“Wow, you four are a lot smarter than I thought,” I roll my eyes, noticing that the professor, Dr. Liu, has made her way into the room, but is just watching this scene unfold. “That has nothing to do with me personally, though. Have you noticed that I don’t wear dresses anymore? That I chopped my hair off? That I have almost no make-up on? Did you ever wonder why that is?”

“You’re grieving,” Blondie sighs, her eyes showing a glimmer of sadness.

“I’m done grieving. Not just for my father, but also for the self that I have left behind. I changed because of all of you!” I slap my hands down on my desk as I burst out of my seat. “I don’t have to pretend to be nice to you anymore, so the Areum you knew is no more. This is the real me! I don’t wear dresses every day, and I don’t talk like everything is some juicy gossip. I hate people, and I hate spending my time with any of you. All of you are fake!”

“Areum, please, there is no need to shout,” Blondie whispers, looking around at all the students staring at us.

“Yes, there is, or else you won’t listen to me!” I feel the urge to throw something, but I fight that desire away. “I don’t know any of your names. All I think when I see you is traits that I associate with you. None of you have ever been true friends. All you do is hang around me in hopes of getting money. Is that all I am to you!?”

“No, not at all,” Blondie’s cheeks are reddening. “Sure, it’s fun that we can go out and do fun things with you, but you are more than that to us.”

That venom laugh bursts out of my chest once again. “If I was more than just money to you, then you would know about who I really am. You wouldn’t act fake when around me. You would try and become friends with people that I enjoy being around. You wouldn’t make me want to punch every single one of you without regret. I am sick and tired of you coming up to me, and I want you to stay away for a long time. All of you,” I growl.

“She’s so mean,” Cheekbones huffs, walking out of the room.

“Hasn’t she always been?” Chewing Gum rolls her eyes as she follows Cheekbones.

“We’re sorry for putting you through hell, Areum,” Glasses slightly bows at me. “You always were distant. We should have known, sorry.” She fixes her glasses before walking off.

“You don’t mean any of that,” Blondie has tears welling up in her eyes. “You don’t even know what you are saying right now.”

“I mean every single word,” I fall back into my seat. “My father can no longer force me to be nice to you, and I have reached the last straw of patience when it comes to any of you. Yoongi will deal with your fathers, and I can finally live peacefully without you ruining my days.”

“Fine,” she sniffles, wiping the tears off her cheeks. “We’ll leave you alone for now, but that doesn’t mean we won’t check in on you from time to time.”

“I’d rather you didn’t,” I turn my face to look at the front of the classroom. “Now, if you could please leave, you are cutting into class time.”

“After everything I have done for you,” Blondie’s voice no longer sounds like she could burst into tears at any second. “I can’t believe you.” She stomps out of the room in the next second.

“Fucking fake ass bitches,” I sigh, rubbing my temples with my index and middle fingers.

“Well, that was one way to start off class,” Dr. Liu clears her throat to get everyone focused on her.

“It was awesome, that’s what it was,” a boy who I have never spoken to, but know as a baseball player for the university, speaks up. “That was kickass, Areum.”

“Yeah,” Haru, a girl that is in the book club, nods a few times. “Those girls think that they are queens around here, but you put them in their place. I always knew you were nothing like them.”

In the next split second, everyone is shouting out praise for me standing up to the Fakes. They are impressed that I had the guts to call them out on their shit, and that I have started to act like how they could feel I wanted to act. It feels good to know that they don’t see me as some sort of freak since this isn’t my first outburst.

“Thank you everyone,” I chuckle without the venom. “That was nothing special, though. I just couldn’t take being miserable and lying about myself.”

“I always knew that you weren’t like other girls,” baseball boy grins.

I shrug, “I haven’t grown up like most other girls.”

“Well, now that that is out of the way, is everyone ready to start class?” Dr. Liu looks around the room, but her eyes end on me.

“Unless you want to ask me some questions, let’s get class start,” I smile at the professor.

“Alrighty then,” Dr. Liu claps her hand together. “I think that it is time for a pop quiz.”

The class erupts into groans, but I just grab a pencil with a gummy smile on my face. Nothing can ruin my day now. It is all changed from now on.

********

I run my thumb and index finger across my eyes, giving them a break from staring at my laptop screen. Being back in the classroom has tired me out, but I still have one class left until I am able to go home. At least I am able to relax in the library in between each class.

“Just one last class, I can do it,” I take a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling. “Still, something is missing.” I look back down at my laptop and my face lights up at the sight.

| Tae: You’re missing me, that’s the something.

| Ari: Tae! You are right. I am missing you.

| Tae: I saw you fight with the Fakes. Not going to lie, it was kind of hot.

I roll my eyes.

| Ari: Got to keep the balance, right?

| Ari: It felt so good to get it off my chest. They should be leaving me alone now.

| Tae: That’s good. I don’t really like seeing you angry like that.

| Tae: You deserve to be happy more than anything.

| Ari: That is very sweet to say, Taehyungie. With you, I think that will be the case.

I smile, looking around for CCTV to show Taehyung that I am doing much better now.

| Tae: You look very beautiful, babe. I can’t wait for you to get home.

| Tae: I want to give you so many kisses.

I feel my cheeks heating up from the statement, shrinking into my seat to try and hide.

| Tae: I see you trying to hide away from me. You are too cute.

| Ari: I try to be, but I can’t have someone seeing me blush while looking at my laptop.

| Ari: They’ll probably think I’m watching something dirty.

| Tae: Am I just supposed to not flirt with my girlfriend then?

I feel my heart skip a beat; still not used to being called girlfriend by Taehyung.

| Ari: It’s not fair because if I flirt with you, I can’t see your reaction.

| Tae: That’s not my fault that you have to go to school and can’t just be with me all day.

| Ari: Is there a reason that you hacked into my computer other than to flirt?

| Tae: Yes, and babe, listen, this might be too much for you.

| Ari: What is it?

| Tae: I found some stuff about your mother and her connection to the Red Wolves.

I feel my mind go blank as I take in the words on the screen. The one thing that has been plaguing us since that lady came up to me has been revealed, and it still just feels like a dream.

| Ari: Send whatever you have over to me. All of it. I need to read it.

| Tae: There’s a lot, Areum. Are you sure you don’t want to wait until you get home?

| Ari: Damn it, Tae. Give them to me right now. It was my mother, I need to know.

| Tae: Sorry, sorry. Give me a minute, you’ll get everything as pop-ups.

I focus on my breathing to calm myself as I wait for the documents to pop up on my screen. I have to be strong for what could be waiting for me to read.

In exactly a minute, multiple documents from newspaper articles to official business statements take over my screen, leaving only the chatroom visible.

| Tae: Don’t force yourself to read something if it gets too difficult to process.

| Tae: And please, talk to me if you feel like it is too much. Call me if you have to.

| Tae: I am here for you, Areum. I want to help you, but you have to let me help you.

| Ari: I’ll message you my thoughts once I am done, so don’t go anywhere.

| Tae: I’ll be waiting for your message.

I take a deep breath, enlarging the article on top. “Now, what were you hiding, mother?”

The first article is titled “The Family Behind the Red Wolves” and is the first time that I have ever seen the names of my mother’s side of the family. My mother’s maiden name is Han, meaning that we can now search for Jieun Han. She also has a twin sister named Soojin, and then a younger brother Hyunwoo. Her father’s name is Sanghoo, and her mother’s name is Misook, but I doubt we will be able to find out if they are still living with how long it took to find this little bit of information. I don’t know what I would do if I had the chance to contact them anyway. It seems they want nothing to do with Bangtan with how they send Red Wolves’ goons after us.

I close the file, looking to the next article that seems to have to do with my mother’s death. Even if I could remember the chaotic day surrounding her murder, I don’t think I could read about it.

“Another time,” I sigh, closing the tab.

Next is an official looking paper that has my mother being disowned from the Han family, and the reason for it is that she has betrayed the family name.

“Because she married my dad?” I mumble, exiting out of the tab to keep moving.

The next few articles talk about the Red Wolves from before I was born. There has always been a war going on between them and Bangtan since the two came into existence. None of it explains where this hatred between them came from, but it is clear that my mother’s decision to marry my dad and become a member of Bangtan was not what started the fight. The Red Wolves clearly do little good for the city, but they just can’t be taken down.

Then a more positive article appears of my mother and her twin being praised for their accomplishments. Soojin has just won a spelling bee against college students while still in middle school, while my mother is crowned champion of a karate competition.

“Well, there’s where my interest of karate is coming from,” I happily sigh as I take in the pictures of my mother and aunt as kids, smiling like nothing could ever go wrong.

After that there is a few articles surrounding my parents’ marriage, but nothing that stands out to me as weird. They were very public about marrying, so there are all kinds of photos of them being super cute. Maybe they were rubbing it in Grandfather Han’s face?

I make it to the last article, still in a bit of a weird state from all that I am reading, wondering if I will be able to focus for my last class.

The last article is titled “Red Wolves have New Leader” with a blurry picture of what appears to be a woman rushing into a building with large men in suits surrounding her. She is most likely Soojin, the twin that would still be alive to take over the gang. My heartrate speeds up as I think of my mother’s beloved sister coming after the group that took her away from the family. She must be torn, seeing as she’s going after her niece and nephew for a conflict that they didn’t even know about. Still, why would the Red Wolves kill the daughter of their leader? Was it a mistake?

“No, what if it wasn’t them?” I feel my breath quicken as a thousand explanations try to play out in my mind, but nothing makes any sense. “Why can’t anything be easy?” I run my hands through my hair, tugging gently at the roots.

| Tae: Babe, are you done reading?

| Tae: You look like you want to scream, and I wish I could comfort you right now.

| Tae: I want to talk all this information out with you.

| Ari: There’s so many questions that I now have no answers to. There are so many answers that I don’t know what to do with.

| Ari: Life is just a giant puzzle, isn’t it?

| Tae: Yes, it is. Life can never be easy. We have to work for everything.

| Ari: I feel like I am going to throw up with all that I know. My mother really kept a lot of secrets.

| Ari: It’s like I don’t even know her.

| Tae: No, you do know her. You just know one part of her. She kept things away to keep you safe. I am sure of it.

| Ari: Thank you Taehyung. For that, and for sending me the documents. It helps, but at the same time it hurts.

| Tae: Do you think that you will be okay for the rest of you time at uni?

| Ari: I don’t know how I will be able to focus with all that is swimming around my head now, but I’ll manage.

| Tae: If you get through this next class, I’ll give you a surprise.

| Ari: A surprise? What kind of surprise?

| Tae: One that will make you love me even more.

| Ari: Impossible. I already love you more than I have ever loved someone. I can’t even explain how much I love you.

| Tae: And I love you more than binary code could be able to transmit.

| Tae: But trust me, this surprise will make you forget about the hell of all this shit.

| Ari: That is all I want right now. Today has been a bit much.

| Tae: I’m sorry about that babe. I’ll give you all the kisses to cheer you up.

| Ari: I would like that. I’ll see you soon, then, Tae. Just one more class.

| Tae: One more class. You can do this. I love you.

| Ari: And I love you.

In the blink of an eye, the chatroom is gone, and I am left with too many thoughts swirling around in my head. With all the answers comes more questions that overwhelm me. Is it even possible to get answers with the state of things?

“It has to get better, it has to,” I sigh, placing my head in my hands. “It has to, or I don’t know what I am going to do.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It has been a hot minute since a chapter of this came out, and I am sorry for that. Blame school and all it’s crap. Now that it is Spring Break, this will not be the only chapter. I am going to work hard to get as much out as possible, so enjoy! Don’t forget to let me know what you thought! :D

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softkyuhyunie · 6 years

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please tell me about the rest of the members too !! kyuhyun is my bias (somehow bc at this point i know the least about him and ryeowook), but i like pretty much all of them??? also what shows can i watch bc i like watching shows !! I've seen the newest weekly idol and the one with henry and kyuhyun, and i've seen the start of super tv but then i got confused between that and super...junior? tv? the one with guests that shinee was on, please teach me how to watch super tv

Ahh welcome to the Kyu cult stans club! he’s adorable I love him so much

anyway! since I covered the basics in my last post, I’ll be jumping straight into the members I didn’t discuss last time.

Past Members:

Kibum (Kim Kibum)

he doesn’t even look like the same person i’m-

Kibum was a part of the original SuJu lineup in 2005 as a vocalist. In 2006 he began acting, and slowly began focusing on his solo career more and more. He was completely absent from “Sorry, Sorry” promotions and “Bonamana” as well. He left SM and SuJu officially in 2015. He’s in Attack of the Pin Up Boys (a movie starring all 12 of the original SuJu members) as the narrator. He’s a good actor and he’s been in a movie and a drama with my wife Go Ara, so you know he’s got some talent. I personally don’t keep up with him much, so there’s not much I can offer on terms of his personality.

Hangeng/Hankyung (Han Geng)

He was the original leader of Super Junior-M until his departure in 2009. He left after filing a lawsuit claiming SM’s 13 year exclusive contracts were unfair, and also revealed that SM had refused to give him a day off in over two years, resulting in health issues. Hangeng won, but SM filed a appeal and later Hangeng and SM reached ‘mutual agreement’. He was also Heechul’s best friend and he’s a huge sweetheart, please listen to his solo stuff! He hasn’t put out music in three years now, but he has such a nice, calming voice

Super Junior-M Members:

Zhoumi (Zhou Mi)

This precious baby, my SON, is Zhoumi. I know I said before I wouldn’t talk about main or lead positions, but Zhoumi is the main vocalist of Super Junior-M and his voice is so goooooooood. He just dropped a new MV and honestly I love him so much, his solo stuff is amazing, I want to squish him He’s so close with his members and it honestly fuels me in life. He’s also the only fully Chinese member in Super Junior-M.

Henry (Henry Lau)

I honestly debated putting him here or in past members, since Henry left SM in April of 2018 and effectively left Super Junior-M. The maknae of Super Junior-M, Henry is also a undercover comedian in his own right. He’s got so many funny moment compilations I don’t know where to begin. He’s also close friends with Mark Lee from NCT. Henry is honestly one of the funniest idols I’ve ever witnessed, and his solo music is full of bops. He’s also an amazing violinist and is even the “mysterious violinist” in SuJu’s “Don’t Don” MV! Stan talent, stan Henry Lau

Members on Hiatus:

Kangin (Kim Youngwoon)

The “dad” of SuJu, he’s been on hiatus since 2016, when he committed his second DUI (the first being in 2009). He’s also had the police called on him and some say he assaulted his girlfriend, but the official report says the woman did not press charges and it was simply an argument.

He loves his members, and he’s truly a great singer (pls give him more lines when he comes back). He’s amazing and I hope he learns his lesson and is able to return to the group soon.

Sungmin (Lee Sungmin)

The cutest not-makne around! Sungmin has been on hiatus since 2015, when he got married. When SuJu announced their plans to return, ELFs protested again his presence in the group and he issued an apology and said he wouldn’t be joining SuJu when PLAY came out. if y’all pull the same shit again i will hunt you down and throw hands. He’s honestly just so cute, this gif is ruining me as we speak

Kyuhyun (Cho Kyuhyun)

oh boy. oh no. you guys opened the floodgates. a whole can of loving kyuhyun is ready to be served. i spent forever even just looking for a gif for this

Kyuhyun, the forever maknae of SuJu. I’m pretty sure he has the voice of a Greek god, and you can quote me on that. He’s incredibly dorky and sweet and just??? His smile owns my entire heart. He is the softest man alive and his hair is so fluffy! I love it!!! He’s so cute! and evil His hiatus is set to end May 24th, 2019, when he returns from military service. He’s also earned himself the title of “ballad king”. He’s called “vicious tongue”, but he loves his members and hopefully his return from the military will convince SM to bring OT11 back together again.

Extra Videos to Watch:

Zhoumi “Rewind” (Chinese Version ft. Tao) | (Korean Version ft. Park Chanyeol)

Henry “Trap” (ft. Kyuhyun and Taemin)

Kyuhyun “A Million Pieces”

Super Junior’s Super TV:

So this is a variety show that someone thought was a good idea to make, and the result is a funny show with a bunch of crackheads dorks running it. They have different groups on as guests. The lovely person who runs the tumblr @supertvsubs has the episodes subbed and available for download

SJ Returns:

A reality TV show that showcased SuJu and aired in 2017. I can’t find a reliable source that has all the episodes, but I’m sure you can find them around on YouTube with a little searching.

I hope this helped!! Thank you again for giving me an opportunity to ramble on about my boys :,D

If there’s any other groups you want to know about, please send another ask in! I’ll be posting a list of the groups I stan soon

#she speaks #guide to suju pt 2?#hell yeah

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timeana · 5 years

Text

Our Story

Our story started as any other…

His unusual beauty pulled me in and his soul, spirit and raw nature never let me go. I was infatuated with him from day one. It only took a stolen glance of his eyes and smile. I kept catching him secretly looking at me, with a shy smile taking over his face, trying to hide his gaze under his hair. He has many faces and I fell in love with them all. We were pulled towards each other like positive and negative sides of a magnet.

Knowing myself, I did try to push my feelings down and deep. I knew he deserved someone better than me. I was always grabbing hold on to any human connection coming my way. Physical or emotional, I just had to have it. Being faithful was never something I could offer as I was fluttering between any attentions given to me. It was a deep rooted part of my personality I was not able to deny. It was the first time wishing I was different. I wanted him all and I knew he deserved better than me. It was the kind of love, I known never before.

Controlling myself was made impossible just by being in his presence. Any convictions to stay away from him were washed away as a sandcastle by the dancing ocean. My freshly set up principles collapsed and crumbled around me.

I could not stop starring at him openly, had to be close to him, touching him. When our skin brushed, it was electricity charging me up, leaving me wanting for more. It was a vicious cycle.

It makes me smile to know that I was not left alone with my feelings. I was embraced playfully first and as time went on it turned into primal lust. We were in our own world. The universe and everyone in it receded to the background as we embraced each other.

Then my nature got the better of me. As our promotions ended I started working on my own projects. Meeting new people I came across new opportunities to satisfy my desires. I lived hard and fast. The day he found out my shameful truth, it broke him... I broke him. My actions shattered his heart to pieces. He was raw and in pain. His drained emotions lying everywhere like broken glass.

He never confronted me, but whenever I entered the room he recoiled, shut down and suddenly went quiet with tears in his eyes – he could not even look at me. My ways destroyed him and it destroyed me in return. It broke my heart knowing that I was the cause of all his suffering.

I was thankful he had Jinki and Minho to protect him and Taemin to give him some distraction from all the hurt. They never questioned what happened. Over time we slowly learned to love each other a different way. But our painful history remains a part of us forever.

Kibum mentioned meeting me again, long years from now, when his old and ready to leave this existence. I would love that, but what I would love even more is him finding happiness now, soon and for forever.

He is sassy, sensible and sensational - a real treasure. His hard, strong facade covers a complex, one of a kind gentle soul. Thinker and visionary, full of surprises. His ability to live in the moment high or low, gives him tremendous joy and grief in equal measures.

He is not only my ray of sunshine but my whole universe. Him loving me for who I truly am and not for what he wanted me to be, was the biggest gift life presented me with.

You all have to look after my beautiful little firecracker from here on.

Love him without hesitation… he is worthy

Keep my brother, Jinki in your hearts

His showing strength despite all the pain I put him through. As time passed he is finally able to smile again with his heart and soul and it makes me smile as well.

He carries us all and I would like him to share some hardship he faces so he has it a bit easier from now on. Please let him know, that showing emotions does not make him weak. To me, a man’s vulnerability displays strength and offers connection to us, weaklings. But I know better, that’s not the side of his personality he will ever be willing to display. He is a bastion to us all, the center we revolve around. An obelisk for future generations to come.

His voice does reach me always. We talk often, and with love for each other.

Thank you for embracing all of me and never judging my ways of living.

My brother, Minho is pure love, joy, care and sweetness

The tall, dark and handsome real life knight we all wish to meet one day. God created him on his best day. The unsung hero of hard work and dedication, spiced up with a competitive spirit and talent. He will win you over, no matter what. We are all lucky to know him and I was even luckier to know him well.

Your love and support means a world to us all. In our proudest and most fragile moments we all feel your arms holding us.

My youngest brother,Taemin

Our lovechild, a beast we unleashed onto this world. Our strength, looks, talent and creativity molded into his tenacity and vision. We all like to take credit for his success but the truth is, we were in awe of him from the beginning. Only witnesses to his growth and blossoming, from a beautiful caterpillar an even more beautiful, ethereal butterfly appeared. Hi is a true inspiration and muse. Please remind him that it is ok to take a well deserved rest, it does not make you lazy.

Look after yourself little brother. Stay healthy.

About ships in Shinee.

Have you noticed there are endless combinations?

There is no denying it; we love each other well and truly. Even our tease and bickering is done with openness is our heart. Not one of us is lacking in giving and receiving love.

Our family is pure; there are no calculated thoughts when it comes to the relationships between us. The satisfaction comes from giving love and care and when you are the one showered with attention, you take it in and recharge your batteries.

One is part of five

And

Five is One

#jonghyun #onew #minho #key #taemin #shinee #shawol #love #family #friends #kim kibum #5hinee

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marksseagulleyebrows-blog · 6 years

Text

Song Review: “Countless” by SHINee

On September 10, 2018 SHINee released their newest song “Countless,” along with “The Story of Music: Epilogue,” which includes the new song along with all fifteen songs from the previous three episodes in their series, “The Story of Light.” Essentially, “The Story of Light: Epilogue,” is an album repackage of their previous three mini albums. In this blog post, I will be doing a (really late) review on SHINee’s newest song, “Countless,” along with their album repackage/epilogue situation.

SHINee in their latest M/V “Countless” (members from left to right: Onew, Taemin, Minho, Key/Kibum)

This song is SHINee’s latest song and the final addition to their series “The Story of Light.” Before the song was officially released, SHINee performed this song at their FanParty on September 9, 2018. I have managed to find a fancam for Onew, Taemin, and Minho. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a fancam for Key for some reason.

Watching the music video for the first time, I was amazed. The music video was very aesthetic, and with each member having their own individual shots along with group shots.

SHINee’s Onew in “Countless”

In SHINee, my “bias” (favorite member) is Key/Kibum, however Onew has been a very strong “bias-wrecker” (someone who is a close second to your favorite and occasionally becomes your favorite for a short time) recently, especially with the release of this music video. He looked so cute throughout the music video. All his individual scenes with him on a couch on the phone was really cute and his adorable expressions made me incredibly soft and happy. Although I was a huge fan of Onew’s bright orange hair during SHINee’s “The Story of Light” Episodes 1, 2, and 3 promotions and miss it a lot, I still enjoy his new natural, brown hair. It makes him look really young an cute, and on top of that, it gives his poor scalp a break from constant bleaching and dyeing. Onew’s voice was so beautiful in the song and fit it perfectly, as expected of legendary vocalist. His voice is one of my favorite voices in K-POP male artists, as it can be soft and soothing or really powerful.

SHINee’s Minho in “Countless”

Minho looked so good in this music video, I was shook. His individual shots were beautiful, because, wow, who doesn’t love a smart man who can read? The set was beautiful, the lighter blue, pink, and cream background really allowing him to stand out in the middle. Similar to Onew, Minho had natural hair, in a comma style. Dark hair is a personal favorite color of mine of Minho, especially when styled in a comma shape, so I really enjoyed both Minho’s and Onew’s hair in the music video. Minho’s original position in SHINee was a rapper, and a common assumption with rappers, especially with those who come from SM Entertainment is that they become rappers because their singing was not good. However, this is not true at all, and Minho is a great example. In this song, his voice was so soft and smooth. I really enjoyed his voice and liked how he sang in the song rather than rapping.

SHINee’s Key/Kibum in “Countless”

Next is Key or Kibum. He is my bias in SHINee as mentioned before, and he blew me away in this song and music video. To begin, his hair. I loved Kibum’s bleached and dyed buzzcut from the three previous episodes of “The Story of Light,” however to bleach his hair is really damaging. It is evident that he is in the process of growing out his hair right now, and this awkward short-ish hair period looks really cute on him, and he just looks like a shiny little egg. His voice in this song, though, left me in awe. Kibum’s voice, I find to be really unique, so I really enjoyed that “Countless” was a slower song, because I could listen to the song and enjoy his and the other members’ voices in the song. On top of his hair and voice, I also loved Key’s outfit in the music video. There was a lot of patterns and different cuts going on with his outfit, yet all the pieces looked so good together. I particularly liked the little, low-tied tie he had on, because it somehow made the outfit even cuter.

SHINee’s Taemin in “Countless”

Lastly, is SHINee’s maknae (youngest), Taemin. To begin, his outfit for this music video was so beautiful. It matched with his mainly blue set, so his individual scenes a pretty monochrome aesthetic situation. Yet, somehow, I felt like Taemin got less screen-time in comparison to his older members, since it was really hard for me to get decent screenshots, but I’m not sure if this is true. I tried to find a screen-time distribution video, but couldn’t find one from a trustworthy channel/account. Even if Taemin received less screen-time than the other members, I feel like his scenes were all very beautiful. Something I noticed with Taemin is his amazing stage presence and acting. In this music video, he appears to be singing the song with great passion and his face helps deliver his emotions. On top of that, his high/long note after the bridge was simply beautiful and his voice is simply beautiful.

This song received absolutely no promotion from SM Entertainment, because SM doesn’t know how to promote their artists properly apparently. I heard about “The Story of Light: Epilogue” through a fan account on Instagram rather than seeing any post or update from SME themselves. However, this isn’t much of a concern as despite the lack of promotion, the song and album still had great success.

I never took a look at what book Minho was reading in this music video, however upon further research, I found out that the book is “The Ruby Knight” by David Eddings, the second story in the series “Elenium.” This book, is said to be apart of a deeper meaning behind “The Story of Light” series. I would never be able to explain the theory myself, however, there is an article discussing a possible theory for the whole series that I found rather interesting.

SHINee (members from left to right: Onew, Taemin, Key, Minho)

Overall, “Countless,” and “The Story of Light” series as a whole was a work of art. The music, music videos, and aesthetics are incredible and I am so happy to finally begin to listen to SHINee a lot more! Every song in the album was amazing,my current favorite being “Chemistry,” and they all are really catchy. The addition of the special track “Lock You Down,” was surprising, but still great. I just really loved this album and hope I can purchase the physical album of “The Story of Light: Epilogue,” sometime soon to finally have a SHINee album in my small album collection and support their music.

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fytaem · 7 years

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So I fell in love with your post regarding Taem & Jjong's solos. Can you talk about Onew/Minho/Key too if you have spare time? I miss them :D! Ty!!

I’m sorry it took me too long to answer TT so here we go again with an infinite text so grab some popcorn.

Okay so... how to explain my feelings about Lee Jinki without dying softly. Onew is the member of SHINee that, sincerely, I cannot find the right words to describe. He’s truly out of this world, and not because I believe he’s weird (he’s not), but because of how much sweetness, talent and magic holds inside his body and soul. I’ve talked about Jonghyun and Taemin having their own magic, but Onew does have a very specific kind of magic that is something I can’t describe. It only comes when he sings, when he appears on stage. Probably because he still has a mysterious ambience around him when he performs, but it’s a mystery that is attractive, that is beautiful, a mystery that you truly want to discover and you want it to come into your body and make you feel lots, lots of wonderful experiences. I’m not exaggerating, I still get incredibly emotional when I watch his performances of Nessum Dorma and Rainy Blue. Onew isn’t that kind of performer that searches to call for attention too much, but someone who basically enters, do his stuff and leaves, because he definitely knows what he’s doing and how everybody will put their eyes on him. I don’t know, really, it’s truly hard for me to describe Onew’s presence but I definitely love it.

I love this man so so so much. Really, I cannot look at this man and not think “I love him so much”. He’s so warm, sweet, wonderful, magical... He’s truly a gem. He has such a power, such a passion inside, everything just comes out when he sings, when he appears on stage. He doesn’t need to move like crazy or to get a special spot, because you know he’s always there and he’ll always catch your attention. He’s also like this as a person publicly. He’s not the kind of leader who will speak above the rest of members but someone who decides to be equally with them. He truly loves SHINee members and he’s SO adorable when he’s with them. Just look at his eyes and he’s full of love for them. Jinki is full of love, of passion, of only beautiful things and I swear I get truly mad when people still don’t get to see how beautiful he is inside (and outside). He also doesn’t speak that much, not like he’s introvert, but somehow he doesn’t need to speak too much. And this somehow breaks my heart, because sometimes you don’t know what he’s thinking or feeling, and I truly want to know what he saves inside his soul, because I know it has to be something wonderful, something magical. He’s so pure, funny, sweet... SOBS. I’m every day waiting for him to go solo. I know he still needs his time, he needs his space, but he definitely deserves one, he deserves to show to the world all the art he has inside because I know only beautiful things can happen when it’s about him. He has the voice, the presence, the talent. And I can’t be tired of saying how adorable, sweet and funny he is. SHINee is beautiful for lots of reasons, and one of them is because Onew is a member. I’m truly thankful every day for him to be a member of SHINee but also to exist. I feel so happy to know he exists, and I feel so glad to see him smile. I truly hope he’s always happy because he deserves it. And here I need to stop because for real I can’t continue fighting against my soul to not cry TT

Key is AMAZING, every single meaning inside amazing defines Key. I admire him so so so so much, both as an artist and as a person. I must admit that the first time that Key was releasing his first drawings I was like “what’s going on?” lmao, but once I started to see his beautiful designs for him and SHINee... I was truly fascinated. I admire people who imagine art in their minds and they’re able to make it real, and I mean to get the material for it or just being able to represent it, and Kibum is one of those people, very special people that isn’t easy to find. He’s incredibly creative, and this isn’t only about his designs, about his taste in fashion, but mostly because of how well he’s able to express his real self through music. It’s dumb to remind this but Key is an INCREDIBLE dancer and performer. We’ve got legendary stages from him and I’m pretty for that for the upcoming Dome stages he’ll continue giving us surprises, because he was totally born to shine, to show himself and receive all the love he deserves. I still remember that show in which he revealed he didn’t feel as loved as the other members when they debuted and I feel that’s so unreal because someone like him has to be admired for everything he does. He fought truly hard to get to where he is, and I’m SO glad he’s not afraid anymore to show the way he is. He’s sweet and beautiful, a person full of creativity, full of dreams, full of passion for life and music. Man, he’s FIERCE, but also a warm, sweet, open minded person. And his voice... I think we’re still not able to truly appreciate everything that he does. I mean... not only a performer and singer, but also an actor, a designer... good lord what he doesn’t know to do. He’s a person/artist that is able to find always to express something no matter the way they pick to express their art, because they’ll always do it perfectly. He’s an inspiration for fighting to be himself, for facing the judgement of the world and just express what Kim Kibum is and what Kim Kibum feels.

I feel like I’m repeating myself but I can’t feel tired of him, he has a big heart, an incredible mind and many ways to express himself. I wish he could also go solo, but I think he truly loves the acting world right now. Kibum is able to get into every one of his characters that well, I think he enjoys it that much because he’s also learning to show his different sides, learning from his works to know how, then, to express himself as a performer. He’s always different, stunning, he’d always give us something to shock all of us. He’s definitely unique.

Choi Minho, another individual that gets to do everything that he wants. EVERYTHING. It’s funny though because other people would use his determination for other kind of objectives, but Minho would always use it to make us happy. Minho is the love inside SHINee, is the heart, the spirit. He’s so incredibly positive and he’s an amazing fighter, he’s so determined that whatever he does it looks easy. I do also think we don’t appreciate enough how much Minho has improved as a singer and as a performer. Both Minho and Taemin had to work truly hard to improve, and as I understand how much excitement Taemin creates, Minho isn’t behind Taemin, he has trained a lot his sweet voice and now he sings even much better than vocalists of other groups. Minho has done lots of sacrifices to make us happy. Minho has been always working truly hard only for us. Minho is also a very precious human being, full of love, joy, hope and fun. He’s not afraid of giving his everything for each thing he does, he’s committed to each objective he has in life. His level of performance and singing isn’t a joke, in the last years he has developed such a strong personality that I love so much. We’re not talking about a “flaming charisma”, but a true man that is serious about his work and yet knows he can have fun because he truly enjoys what he is nowadays. He’s also admirable for all his achievements, for never giving up against the odds. He’s full of love, of kindness, of sweetness, someone like him isn’t able to have bad things in his soul because he’s too pure. And all these beautiful qualities are also art, because himself as a human being is art. People with warm hearts are always art, they are what we need to have some humanity, and Minho is a real human. We could say we need more people like Minho, but that’s kinda impossible, right? He’s unique. I think I’m mixing too much talking about personality and stage presence, but he slays in both ways. He doesn’t seem interested in going solo, I think he also feels comfortable as an actor and as a model. Still, being busy 24/6/365, he still plays sports like a random young man, enjoys going out with friends... he’s an extraordinary normal person.

I truly want him to show more of his creativity, because he has showed many sides of himself, but I feel there’s still to much from him to come and I’m definitely waiting for everything. How not to love Minho and how not to enjoy every single detail of his existence. He’s beautiful and lovely, so lovely.

I think this time I’ve mixed my thoughts too much, but it’s hard to truly express what I feel in my chest every time I enjoy SHINee. I don’t know if I can help people notice how unique and special they are in their own ways, but I truly hope that SHINee will continue their own path as they develope different activities alone. SHINee isn’t big because of being SHINee, but because of the hard work of each member. Their hard work makes them better, stronger. SHINee without these members wouldn’t be the same.

#ask #i'm in PAIN #feels #sobs

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wheredidtheyallcomefrom · 7 years

Text

The Future of the Trainees (part 9)

Rhythm Ta Lee Gwanghyun (Rank 44 -> Rank 43)

Chances – I was excited for this performance because it had three trainees who weren’t really given any focus in the earlier episodes and if their performance was memorable enough it could propel one of the boys into the Top 35. But… the performance wasn’t memorable at all. What is it with ‘Rhythm Ta’ that just can’t catch a break? Mnet is using it for the second time for the position evaluation and both times it was probably pretty meh. Although I would take last season’s performance over this one’s any day (mainly thanks to Cathy). I feel kind of bad admitting that because all three boys seemed to have worked very hard but I guess it’s a hard number to pull off. However, their practice cut was my favorite – they seemed to really work well together. Now let’s move onto individual opinions. Had the performance been better, I think it really could’ve only benefitted Gwanghyun. He’s a trainee from a big company, whose labelmate is getting a lot of attention, allowing for the Soomin edit. Plus he, just like Donghyun, made the smart choice of choosing Rap for this mission where it’s easier to gain attention due to the smallest amount of contestants. I absolutely loved Gwanghyun’s vocals in ‘Replay’ (even more that Gunhee’s) but he got absolutely zero attention for them so while I would��ve loved to hear him sing, I also know he would’ve been drowned out by all the other vocalists. Rap also isn’t as strange a choice for him as it appeared in the episode – Gwanghyun rapped in Starship’s ranking evaluation. So I’m going to assume he has an interest in it but it’s a pretty recent one that he hasn’t had a chance to fully develop. He did get the 10k bonus but I doubt it’s going to carry him into the Top 35. The kid really doesn’t have good luck with survival shows. But he does have a big company behind him who will hopefully debut him.

Skills – I really do like his vocals and can gush over them for a while but I’m going to control myself. I though his rap in ‘Sugar’ was pretty fun but in ‘Rhythm Ta’ the only thing I actually remember is his singing. I do get the feeling that his interest in rapping is recent so maybe with more training he can become better. His dancing is perfectly alright but he does look lost on stage a lot – he has to work on his stage presence.

Kim Taewoo (Rank 38 -> Rank 49)

Chances – He is pretty far from Top 35 and unfortunately he didn’t get much focus to be able to rise the 14 ranks he need to get into top Top 35. But he also didn’t get much focus prior to the last elimination. I always group him with Taemin and Junwoo but unlike them he didn’t even get to shine as a meme. I’m guessing that him passing the last elimination was mostly due to his looks being similar to several celebrities. I don’t know the celebrities that they mentioned in episode 5 nor did I see his resemblance to Sejeong but I did take notice of his looks. I wrote down something after the introduction videos to help me tell all of the trainees apart and for Taewoo I wrote down that he looks like a turtle which was meant as a compliment. And while he wasn’t shown to be a meme I cannot help but think that he is one behind the scenes. Although that might be influenced by the Taewoo’s and Taemin’s apparent friendship (I wish the Taemin a fast recovery and hopefully a chance to debut). And while I don’t think that Taewoo is as talented as many other trainees, I really am going to miss him when (if) gets eliminated. Skills – His first ranking evaluation performance was pretty bad but I loved him in ’10 out of 10’ – just like the rest of his teammates he looked and sounded wonderfully cheesy and laidback during the stage which is what I wanted to see from the performance. He is kind of distinct as a rapper due to his strange voice color but he needs to work on power and impact. He just sounds very linear when he raps if that makes sense. It’s hard for me to judge his dancing because his first performance wasn’t great but wasn’t too bad in terms of dancing and his group’s ’10 out of 10’ performance didn’t require great skill.

Lee Youjin (Rank 48 -> Rank 50)

Chances – I’m guessing from the name ‘Namoo Actors’ that Youjin is an actor in training. But despite that I 100 % believe that Youjin is very interested in music and the decision to come on the show was his and not his label’s. Just like the S.How boys Mnet didn’t specify that Youjin produced the song which he performed. He apparently has a soundcloud full of self-produced songs and he’s interested in rap. It’s a shame that except for his first ranking performance he really wasn’t able to showcase a cool rapping stage. And he won’t be able to because he’s not passing the next elimination. Honestly, I was surprised that he passed the first elimination – he has somehow flown under my radar, despite being in the top 60 every week. I just couldn’t even remember what he performed during group missions. I’m guessing that part of his appeal to national producers is his good looks (looks befitting an actor as I read somewhere). I personally want to compliment his leadership skills. He’s one of the oldest guys and this role is sort of always pushed onto him even if it’s a role that he wants. And I appreciate that he’s willing to make it easier for kids who are younger than him. And during the ‘Be Mine’ practice the focus was on Youngmin but I’m sure based on how unexcited he was about being the leader a second time, that Youjin did pull off a lot of work during the group mission. Mnet just didn’t care about him enough to show him.

Skills – For a guy who’s not an idol trainee he’s pretty good. I quite like his rapping although I don’t find it phenomenal and he’s been pretty consistent as a dancer. It tells you a lot if a guy who’s not regularly trained in dance and is a rapper ends up with a C rank after the re-evaluation.

#produce 101 #broduce 101 #lee gwanghyun #starship #kim taewoo #lee youjin

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shitfics · 8 years

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The Smallest of Deeds (5/8)

Jinki’s clan is gone.

Killed by humans, with no trace of a motive, on a night he spent away at Jonghyun’s cabin. To save Jinki from his loneliness – and his desire for revenge – Jonghyun suggests they journey south to find Taemin.

Their search for a place and purpose sends them to an organization known as the Inquisition, and the dangers they face after joining force Jonghyun and Jinki to confront parts of themselves and their relationship that threaten to break them apart.

more action! a new character! taemin finally catching up to what’s been going on between jongyu!

seungwan is wendy from red velvet. i was originally going to go with joy (since she’s my fave), but since her real name is sooyoung, i didn’t want people to mix her up with snsd’s sooyoung.

In a day, their entire way of travel changes. Seeking to take advantage of the fact the Venatori are human, and thus without the elven ability to see in the dark, they rest during the day and continue north at night. The shift leaves Jinki sleepless and irritable, but it’s easier to bear now that their mission has an urgency to it that hadn’t been there before.

The moment the moons are visible and the sun is hidden, Taemin leads them forward. Jinki follows closely, and Jonghyun stumbles along behind them on the mix of rock and sands.

True to Taemin’s prediction, the next camp they find is built against another one of the desert’s rocky cliffs and seated near an ancient Tevinter ruin. Their approach is hidden by a large sand dune, and the moment they hear conversation in Tevene, they stop and lower themselves to the ground to keep from being spotted.

Taemin licks his lips. “Their position puts us at a disadvantage, since they have the cliff at their backs to defend them. How do we want to do this? ”

“Depends on their numbers,” Jinki whispers.

“Do you think you can get those without being seen?”

Jinki nods. “Just give me a minute.”

He pulls off his boots and steps quietly towards the rise of the dune. The back of his neck tingles with the weight of eyes on him, but he knows he couldn’t have been spotted so soon. He looks back, expecting to see Taemin watching him, only to meet Jonghyun’s gaze — his lip is worried between his teeth, and his brow is creased, anxiety plain in the fidget of his hands in his robes.

Though he’s not certain he’s supposed to, Jinki can read what he’s mouthing clearly in the shape of his lips — be careful, please, be careful — and there’s more emotion in it than Jinki’s seen from him in days.

He looks away quickly, but his stomach is still fluttering when he flattens himself against the sand. Willing himself to ignore it, he continues his crawl up the dune until he can peek his head over the top to assess the camp.

A large blazing fire sits at the center. Men clothed entirely in black surround the flames, some in armor, some in robes, and Jinki has to fight the urge to run immediately when he sees one of the mages bouncing a ball of fire absently from hand to hand out of boredom.

He takes a breath and forces himself to count. Three warriors, three mages, and one of them is tucked near the wall with a cage covered in a ragged piece of burlap.

His fear vanishes the moment he catches a glimpse of pointed ears through a hole in the fabric. A cold determination rises in its place, and he narrows his eyes, scouring the camp for signs of weakness and the best point of attack.

He finds it easily.

Near the horses, a warrior holds a wooden cup out under the tap of a barrel of what he can only guess is liquor. His eyelids droop as his cup fills, and he rights himself with a sudden jerk of his spine before stumbling back to a bow and arrow left haphazardly in the sands east of camp.

He hurries back down the dune as fast as he can without making noise.

“Their scout on the east side is drunk and tired. We can likely knock him out without anyone noticing.”

Taemin nods. “Good. How many of them are there, besides him?”

“Only five,” Jinki slips back down the dune quietly. “Two mages with a staff, and two armored men. There might be more in the tents, but likely not many.”

“Sounds like numbers we can work with.” Taemin rubs his chin. “Jonghyun — is there anything you can do to open the cage from here, with magic? The surprise of that might create a good distraction from anything me and Jinki do on the east side, and the numbers would be in our favor then.”

“If I could see the lock, I might be able to melt it, but it’s too dark for me to do it from a distance,” Jonghyun says. “And it’s likely magicked, anyhow.”

“Then we have to clear out the camp first.” Jinki pulls his bow from his shoulder and notches an arrow on the string. “Any ideas for the mages?”

Jonghyun chews on his lip as he thinks. “I can make some kind of illusion, so they’ll think there’s a demon near. The Veil is thin here, so the mages might think something has really crossed from the Fade. And the sight of it might be unexpected enough to catch everyone else off guard.”

“Do that from the west, then, once they realize me and Jinki are coming from the east — that’d probably be the best way to split their attention.” Taemin gives them both tight smiles, then sighs. “Maker, let us get out of this with your blessings.”

Jonghyun glances at Jinki, then nods, and they split up.

Jinki makes a wide circle around the camp with Taemin until they reach the east side and spot the drunken warrior. The man is an easy target. Half his armor is off, likely to escape the heat of his drunken flush, leaving all his vital points vulnerable.

As satisfying as it would be to pierce the Tevinter bastards heart, he knows better than to do that when they need to remain unheard. He gestures for Taemin to wait. The pullback of his bowstring is silent, and when he releases it, only the impact of the arrow piercing through the drunken man’s throat makes a sound.

One mage looks away from his companions to glance over at the fallen man, but he only laughs and shakes his head when he sees the body. Apparently the man had fallen over in his drunkenness enough for his companions to assume that of him.

Jinki waits for his attention to slip back before whispering to Taemin. “Go for anyone sleeping in the tents.”

“Got it.”

He watches as Taemin slips into the first tent, then comes out a minute later with blood-darkened hands. When Taemin sneaks into the next, he keeps an arrow dawn, aware that even the slightest sound of struggle from within the tent might alert the Venatori to their presence.

As if on cue, a hand flies out of the tent opening, clutching at the sand as a strangled cry escapes from within. The canvas of tent erupts into flames, and Taemin stumbles out, hair singed and blood staining the front of his shirt.

“Kaffas!”

Jinki has no time to worry at the source of the blood. Strings of Tevene swears erupt around the camp as the remaining Venatori notice them and leap into action, hands going to their weapons.

Flames bloom from the western part of the camp in the shape of a beast — wolven or something else, he doesn’t know — and the Venatori mages attentions turn to the creature.

In the confusion, Jinki releases his arrow to strike at the nearest mage when he reaches for his staff. He draws another and aims for his next target, one of the warrior’s charging towards him and the now-burning tent.

Unlike the drunken one, this one is still in full armor, and his arrow bounces uselessly off the heavy plate armor covering the man’s chest. He tosses his bow aside and rolls out of the way, coming back up with his daggers drawn.

The Venatori warrior’s longsword passes in front of him in a wild swing, and Jinki realizes when he’s forced to jump back that drawing his daggers had been a mistake — he’d lost the advantage of reach.

He dodges a heavy upward cut, purposefully stepping away in hopes he’ll have a chance to draw his own sword. To free his hand, he throws his smaller dagger forward, regretting it the moment he releases it when the blade only causes a shallow cut to the man’s cheek.

“Fucking rattus,” he snarls, already preparing for his next strike as Jinki tries to pull out his own sword.

Suddenly, Taemin shouts from behind the warrior in Tevene. “You’d know a thing about fucking rats, wouldn’t you?!”

The sound of his own language from an attacker makers the warrior hesitate in his upcoming downstrike, and Jinki takes advantage of the momentary lapse to drive his remaining dagger past his guard into the gap of armor between his arm and chest and twists, making the man howl out in agony and drop his sword.

He pulls his blade out and turns quickly to the west end of camp. One of the mages is already dead, a burnt corpse on the ground, but the other is still standing, circling his hands above his head as he generates a storm of frost.

Jonghyun throws up his hands when the storm suddenly surges towards him. A thin barrier of fire comes up between them that melts the icy daggers before they hit, and Jonghyun collapses to lean on his staff, face pale from the exertion as he conjures a weak shield around himself.

The Venatori mage scoffs at his effort, obviously no longer seeing Jonghyun as a threat, and turns away to head for where his staff is seated on the sand.

Without another thought, Jinki finds himself running to the west side of camp as fast as his legs can carry him. He knows how the battle will play out once the man gets his staff — if Jonghyun can’t hold his own against a Tevinter mage without his staff, it’d be hopeless once he reached it.

Noticing Jinki’s approach, the mage snaps a barrier into place and continues towards his staff. The blue-green glow around his skin should be a signal for Jinki to back off, but he ignores it, remembering what Joonmyeon taught him the single time they’d sparred: though barrier’s deflected blades, they often did little against blunt force

When he reaches the mage, he dodges a startled toss of fire from the man and brings the hilt of his dagger down against his temple. The mage falls to the sand with a pained shout, but before Jinki can strike again, he has his staff back in his hands.

Blood pours from the fresh wound on his head, making his scowl all the more menacing as he raises the weapon to point it at Jinki. An ink-black darkness engulfs the crystal at the crest, congealing into a dark shadow before it flies towards him and shifts into a long tendril that wraps around his legs.

Jinki’s muscles seize the moment it hits. His legs go useless beneath him, and he spends his last second of control to send throw himself towards the mage.

A spark flickers across the Venatori man’s skin as he attempts to surround himself with a barrier, but it does nothing to keep Jinki from barrelling into him with all his weight. They fall to the ground in a heap of limbs, and Jinki doesn’t waste a second to right himself before he stabs wildly at the man’s chest with his dagger.

The first blow bounces uselessly against another barrier, and panic seizes his chest.

The numbness in his legs makes it impossible to stand, and the mage’s hands are hovering out of reach, the left brightening by the second as a fireball grows in his palm. His next blow is imprecise, only a jerk of his hand towards the man’s throat, and each one after it is weaker and weaker as it sinks in that he can’t move away from the growing prickel of magic along his skin.

Just as the fireball threatens to fly from the mage’s hand, his blade breaches the barrier, and he sinks it eagerly into his chest.

“Cursed abomination,” he grits, watching with satisfaction as the mage’s magic vanishes in an instant. He pulls out his dagger and stabs lower, then twists it to pull the blade towards his belly and leans back, gutting the mage open as easily as if he were a deer. The dying mage’s hands scramble desperately between his own stomach and Jinki’s arm as he pleas in weak Tevene for mercy.

Jinki smacks the flailing limbs away and silences the man with his blade through his throat.

He doesn’t want the mage’s dirty palms on him.

After the mage’s last breath, the spell on his limbs fades, and Jinki stands to shake the gore off his dagger. He looks around the camp, expecting to see some semblance of a fight remaining, only to find the camp silent save the soft steps of Taemin walking towards him and Jonghyun finally standing with his staff.

Taemin and Jonghyun exchange some brief words to check on each other, but it all sounds distant under the pound of adrenaline still in Jinki’s veins. “Are there none left?”

“All taken care of,” Taemin says. He sheathes his own small dagger and jerks his chin towards the caged elves against the cliff behind him. “Though I wouldn’t say we’re in the clear. I think we scared the shit out of the slaves. They likely think we’re bandits — might fight us if they think we’re here to take them.”

“Well, let’s fix that.” Jinki steps past them both to approach the cage.

When he yanks off the burlap obscuring most of it from few, the elves inside glare at him, and the few that are older or larger than the rest push the children behind themselves.

Jinki stops, realizing quickly that he’s ill-suited for convincing a group of scared elves that he’s here for them. He must look wild — the struggle with the mage had smeared a streak of blood across his face, and his hands are still covered with drippings from his gut wound. All, in addition to the vallaslin on marking his face, and they’re more likely to see him as a savage than a former Tevinter.

He clears his throat and makes sure to use his most polite Tevene. “We’re sorry if we frightened you with the fighting. We’re here to free you,” he says, gesturing to himself, then to Taemin and Jonghyun. “Manūmittimus.”

Most of the elves blink at him, still skeptical, but a young boy in the front leans forward to stare with wide eyes. “Truly?”

Taemin steps to stand beside him and answers in Tevene. “Yes, we’re here to help. We’re part of the Inquisition.”

Any trust they had earned seems to disappear as disbelief ripples through the cage in a visible wave.

“But the Inquisition was a Chantry organization, isn’t it?” One of the older women asks. “Two of you are elves, and one of you…” he gestures to Jinki’s face. “Well, I don’t know what you people are called, but I know you don’t believe in the Maker.”

“The Inquisition takes who they can, regardless of race. And I’m a devout believer in the Maker myself,” Taemin says, smiling broad. He reaches for the brooch on his cowl with the Inquisition insignia, unfastens it, and sticks it through the bars. “See? I work for them. I’m a map maker and a scout.”

Her eyes narrow. “You seem more likely to be a spy, considering you speak Tevene.”

“He’s not,” Jinki says. “We were both slaves in Tevinter, same as you. I escaped and joined a Dalish clan — then the Inquisition, when I heard they were fighting a Tevinter cult. Nothing from that country could be good.”

“Well, we can agree on that.” The woman huffs, seemingly in amusement. Her dark eyes flash in the light when she finally steps forward. “Sorry for interrogating you — just wanted to know if we were better off running back to the other slavers in the area in case you were going to use us for something worse.”

“I understand.” Jinki nods grimly. He places a hand on the lock, lifting it away from the cage, and squints at it. “Do you know if they have a key somewhere, so we can get you out of here?”

“There’s no key — it’s a magic seal.” She smiled crookedly. “Otherwise I would’ve picked it myself days ago.”

Jinki swears.

“Don’t worry, Jonghyun can likely do it.” Taemin interrupts. He turns, and Jinki follows his movement, realizing with a start that Jonghyun had stayed back several yards from the cage. “You don’t need to hover back there, you know — come give this a try.”

Jonghyun blinks at them until Taemin waves for him to hurry, then limps forward.

Jinki watches him, torn between wanting to help him and wanting to keep his distance.

Jonghyun’s face is pale, likely from the strain of overusing his magic, and his hands shake when he finally pulls them from his robes to place them on the lock. He murmurs something under his breath, bringing his hand to a glow, then jerks his hand back and bites his lip.

“…The spell’s seal is too complicated for me to break properly, but I think I can do it with brute force.” He casts an apologetic look at the elves inside. “You might want to brace yourselves.”

Each of the elves clutches a nearby bar and turns their attention to Jonghyun’s hands.

Sweat collects on Jonghyun’s brow as pure light rises from his hands. His fingers clutch the lock tighter. The cage shakes, sending tufts of sand into the air and forcing Jinki to squint.

Suddenly, the white glow turns a sharp green, and the very air around Jinki seems to crack. The cage tips, throwing the elves inside onto the ground, and falls with a loud crash.

Jonghyun collapses with it, but his voice rings out clear from inside the resulting cloud of sand a moment later.

“Is everyone alright?” He coughs, trying and failing to wave away the dust as he forces himself up. “I’m sorry about that, I didn’t want to—”

Jinki pushes past Jonghyun to check on the elves. Finding the door of the cage, he yanks it open and helps the first woman he sees climb out. The rest follow after her, until only a few children too small to get out on their own but too weak to be lifted by the others that are left inside. Jinki reaches down and pulls them out, keeping the smallest under his arm until he can pass it to the nearest adult.

A dozen pairs of eyes blink owlishly at Jonghyun in the moonlight, a wariness in their gazes that Jinki recognizes instantly. Back in Tevinter, any human among elves would be the person in charge, and a mage doubly so.

The thought makes him scowl. Though Jonghyun shifts under their stares, clearly uncomfortable, they all stiffen with the acceptance of authority when he stands on shaking legs and clears his throat.

“Do any of you all need healing? I don’t have much energy left, but I can try and help if you have severe injuries or illnesses.”

A rumbling muddle of confused Tevene follows his offer. Jonghyun wrings his hands in confusion, and the woman that had questioned Jinki earlier looks at Taemin with a furrowed brow. Sensing the problem, he steps forward to intervene with his trademark disarming grin.

“If you’re not comfortable being healed, don’t worry — he’s just another a member of the Inquisition. You don’t have to listen to him or accept any magic.”

Jonghyun frowns. “Some of them might need healing, though…they look like they’ve been starved for days.”

“They were just about to be used for blood magic,” Jinki snaps, and only Taemin is near enough to hear him hiss his next words. “They’d be better off far away from any mages right now.”

Jonghyun’s lips tighten. From the stubborn crease in his brow, Jinki thinks he’ll dig his heels in and insist on helping — he saw that expression when they last argued — but this time, he only nods and turns to leave Jinki and Taemin alone with the group of elves, who relax the moment he disappears behind one of the tents still standing in the Venatori camp.

Taemin clears his throat to draw their attention back to him. “Well, anyway — I can give you all directions to safety, if you could provide me with some details on what the Venatori have been up to.”

The elves’ testimony proves everything they suspected: the Venatori planned on using the slaves and an ancient Tevinter ruin to take back the western fortress from the Inquisition. The slaves had no commonality other than that they were all cheaply bought in a bulk purchase from the magister running the operation.

They didn’t have the name of the magister — they were all from the bottom rungs of the market, and had none of the intricate knowledge of political dealings those who worked in magister and other noble houses gained — but simply the title is enough to make Jinki’s blood run cold.

He knows, logically, that his former master isn’t of the character to be involved in such a bloody scheme as this one.

But it had been years. And though he’d seem regretful of what he’d done to Taemin, on that last night when Jinki had forced himself back to his rooms to steal the maps they needed, how much could he trust that?

The magister had promised never to do blood magic, before he did what he did to Taemin. Who knows what he’d be like now, especially after they both ran?

He falls silent as he loses himself in his thoughts. In the background, Taemin’s voice is a quiet drone as he teaches the elves how to read the stars to find their way to the nearest Inquisition camp and a few sources of supplies and water.

What would he do, if the magister were to show up here?

Creators, he wanted to kill the man for everything he’d done. But that would mean seeing him — and if his pathetic attempts at hand-to-hand combat had taught him anything, he should know better than to think he could stand up against the bastard behind all his worst memories.

A hand on his arm jars him out of his thoughts, and he jumps.

“…Jinki?” Taemin eyes him with concern. “Did you want to talk with the elves before I send them on their way?”

He tries to swallow, only to realize his mouth is too dry for it to do anything but strain his throat. “I don’t have anything to say, no. But do you think it’s a good idea to send them back on their own?”

Taemin shrugs. “The more distance we put between them and whatever magister is behind this, the better, considering what the Venatori want is bodies — we don’t want them to get recaptured if we’re out numbered when we encounter another group.”

Jinki nods, seeing the logic. “It is best they leave, then.”

He looks over to the group one last time. A dozen tired faces and pairs of hollow eyes stand before him. Even the woman he had spoken to earlier looks lost behind her mask of determination, and his chest pulls with a painful sort of nostalgia. Had he and Taemin looked so confused when they’d freed themselves and escaped Tevinter?

There had been moments of doubt, if their freedom had been worth it — slavery in a noble’s house was certainly easier, compared to the stealing and running they had to do for weeks — but that doubt had disappeared the moment he saw Hyoyeon. A free elf, a Dalish elf, one that had never been touched by slavery or any other terror the shems could inflict on them.

He lifts his chin, then nods, trying to imitate the everything Hyoyeon had been to him that night, and speaks slowly to suppress every trace of Tevinter in his accent. “Dareth shiral.”

One of the children stares at him in wonder, and two of the elves bow their head back. The rest only stare at him for an awkward moment before nodding to Taemin and turning towards the east horizon.

Jinki and Taemin watch them leave, a quiet understanding between them.

Eventually, Taemin nudges him with his elbow. “We should probably clean up so we don’t smell like crazy cultist guts while we sleep, and find Jonghyun.”

Too drained to bother with words, Jinki mumbles in an acknowledgment and drags himself towards the now-empty Venatori camp. He rubs at his face and grimaces, somehow only noticing then that the blood on his face has cracked and dried. The barrel of water remaining in the Venatori camp is enough to wash the blood off of his face and armor.

The familiar worn and dirtied tan of their canvas tent already sticks out amongst the black fabric of the Venatori’s tents. Jonghyun must’ve gotten sick of waiting for them to return and set it up himself.

He opens the tent flap quietly and steps inside. An empty bedroll rests to the left, and Jonghyun is already resting in the other, flat on his back and chest heavy with sleep.

It’s an inviting image, despite the tension between them. A part of him aches to join Jonghyun under the covers — he could use anything warm and familiar now — but he knows he wouldn’t be wanted there.

Jonghyun had made that much clear by setting up the second bedroll for him.

***

At the rustle of cloth within the tent, Jonghyun startles awake.

His heart races. He knows where he’s no longer dreaming — there’s none of the fog or greenish tint to the air that the Fade had — but fear is still echoing in his pulse.

He slows his breath and turns to Jinki. Maybe if he replaces the image of Jinki from his dreams with the real thing, he’ll calm down enough to go back to sleep.

Jonghyun stares at him, expecting his heart to slow, only to find his throat closing in panic when he spots dried blood under Jinki’s jaw.

Bile surges up his throat. He hurries out of the tent, not bothering to close the flap behind him before bending over to face the ground.

His stomach continues to roll, but when he produces nothing more than spit, he straightens himself with a grimace and wipes at his mouth. So much for trying to go back to sleep.

Warily, he looks back inside the tent. He expects to see Jinki awake and annoyed from the noise he had made running outside, but somehow, he’d managed to stay asleep.

A shiver of fear runs up Jonghyun’s spine, and he snaps his gaze away from Jinki’s face. Though his eyes are closed, he can only imagine them open — open and wild and flashing with triumph as he twists his dagger in the gut of the Tevinter mage and calls him a cursed abomination.

That hadn’t even been an illusion of the Fade — it’d been something he seen happen with his own eyes, transposed from his memories of the night to his dreams.

He knows he’s nothing like the Tevinter mages Jinki hated — he’d never once considered practicing blood magic, and the only powers he cares about are the ability protect and heal — but did Jinki know that?

When they first met, Jinki had threatened him, simply because he was a mage. And Jinki had called him a maleficar, weeks later, after he’d been nothing but friendly and kind.

He’d forgotten and forgiven all that long ago. It’d been easy to, with the apology Jinki had given, and his shift from surly to friendly to subtly flirtatious as the weeks went on…

But the way Jinki had spit out abomination at the mage as he killed him — that same slur he had spit at Jonghyun only a year ago — makes him feel like he might be the next mage on the end of the elf’s dagger.

With a sigh, he fixes the tent flap closed to block out the sunlight and looks out in the distance for Taemin. Maybe he could ask to switch tents, if only till his watch is over.

Heading to the edge of the camp, he finds Taemin on a towering formation of rocks near the cliff wall with his hand in his chin and his gaze out on the far horizon. He approaches the rocks as obviously as he can to avoid startling Taemin, but it doesn’t seem to help.

When he whispers his name, Taemin’s ears flinch violently as he leaps up, and only a quick adjustment in his balance saves him from falling from his perch.

“Andraste’s ass, Jonghyun!” Taemin huffs. He turns to him as he shakes the sand off his breeches. “You scared the shit out of me — I expected you to be knocked out from using magic today. Can’t sleep?”

“I’m having trouble.” Jonghyun smiles wryly. He climbs up the rocks until he’s on one just beneath Taemin.

“Battles tend to do that to people,” Taemin says. “I couldn’t sleep for two days after my first fight with the Inquisition, even though I didn’t do anything in it at all.”

“Mm.” Jonghyun fiddles with his robe, then takes a deep breath. “Speaking of sleep…I actually wanted to ask a favor of you, if you don’t mind.”

“Oh?”

“Could I sleep in your tent tonight? At least until Jinki’s watch starts?”

Taemin’s brow furrows. He stares down at Jonghyun, obviously confused by the request. His mouth opens around a question, but seems to think better of it, because he closes it shortly. “Sure?”

“Thanks. I’ll probably head there in a bit, then.”

Jonghyun leans against the rock to his back, wanting to wait at least a few minutes before heading to find Taemin’s tent. Taemin’s eyes are on him, he knows, still curious and confused from his request, but he pretends not to feel them. He doesn’t want to explain that he’s too afraid to sleep next to Jinki because it seemed more and more like Jinki sees mages as something dangerous and less than human.

The clearing of Taemin’s throat breeches the silence. “Can I ask why you want to stay in my tent?”

Jonghyun sighs.

Of course Taemin would ask.

“I’m not sure Jinki would like me talking about it.”

“I’m not sure he likes anyone talking about anything, usually. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.”

Jonghyun laughs, soft and bitter. “I suppose that’s true.”

“Something is really up with you two, isn’t it?” Taemin sighs. “Not that he’s ever chipper, but he’s seemed even less happy since we left the Inquisition. Is it because I found out about you? I tried not to tease him too much, but I can see how me knowing he has a lover at all might make him weird…”

“No, it’s not that.” Jonghyun runs a hand through his hair, only to grimace when his fingers catch in a knot. “It’s nothing to do with you. He’s just…scaring me, a bit. Especially after how he killed that mage.”

Taemin raises an eyebrow. “The Venatori one? I thought you’d be happy he killed him, considering you were in a tight spot.”

“I know. I am, and it needed to be done, but…” Jonghyun hesitates. “I’m not sure if he sees me as any different than them, since we’re both mages.”

“I’d say he does. He wouldn’t sleep with you if he thought you were like the ones from Tevinter, you know?”

Jonghyun frowns. “It’s not that simple.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No.” Jonghyun sighs and resigns himself to explaining in full. “Back at the Inquisition’s main fortress…there was a friend that he made, Minho. He was the templar that spoke to Kibum to give us this mission. I guess he talked to Jinki about Circles. We had a fight about it before we left — it sounds like he thinks the mages should be put back in them, and that their freedom was a mistake.” Jonghyun sighs. “We fought about it. I know I never told him much about life in the Circle — just like he never told me much about Tevinter — but I still thought he’d take my word for things.”

Taemin’s expression tightens. “He really said you should be locked up?”

“Not directly. But he said the Circles might be necessary. To protect people from power-hungry mages.”

Taemin winces. “No wonder you fought. Shit.”

“Yeah.” Jonghyun sighs. “I tried to bring it up again later, after we’d calmed down, but he didn’t see any need to talk about it. So I just…dropped it. And now I’m worried one wrong move on my part will make me seem like one of the Tevinter mages, or he’ll think I’m using blood magic like he did when you were at my cabin, and he’ll…” his throat tightens. “Do to me what he did to the mage last night.”

“I don’t think he’ll do that.” Taemin leans down and places a hand on his shoulder. “I know Jinki. He’s an asshole sometimes, but he wouldn’t murder anyone.”

Jonghyun places his hand over Taemin’s, enjoying the brief contact. “You’re probably right. I just…worry.”

“I get it.” Taemin pats his shoulder before pulling his hand away. “But if you don’t feel safe, you don’t have to stay with him. I was happy for you two, but if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work.”

Jonghyun nods, then falls silent. As angry and frightened as he’d gotten with Jinki seeming more like a templar and less like the Dalish man he’d known, he’d somehow never reached around the logical conclusion that their relationship would come to an end from it.

He doesn’t want that, does he?

The mere thought feels like a chasm opening in front of him. He tears himself away from it before it can find a way to burrow in his mind and stands up.

“I’m going back to bed. Feel free to wake me when you get Jinki for his turn on watch; I’ll return to his tent then.”

“Sure thing.” Taemin nods. “You get some rest.”

***

The moons are full and bright through the open flaps of the tent when he wakes to the sound of Taemin folding his bedroll.

Fighting back a yawn, Jonghyun sits up and rubs his eyes. He knows that he’d slept since the moment he entered the tent— dim as it was, he had memory of being in the Fade — but it still felt like he’d barely rested.

He rubs his eyes and blinks at Taemin. “You didn’t wake me up?”

“Sorry.” Taemin smiles at him apologetically. “You still looked exhausted. I couldn’t bring myself to.”

“It’s fine.” Jonghyun smiles back. Though he’d meant to slip back into Jinki’s tent once it was empty, it’d probably been good he got the extra sleep.

Jinki’s stare bores into him the moment he leaves the tent.

Had Taemin said something to him after their conversation? He wouldn’t put it past him to interfere, if only for the excuse to lecture Jinki for a change.

Jonghyun straightens his posture, trying not to show his nerves. He still hasn’t decided how much he wants to allow Jinki to see he’s hurting, when all his earlier efforts at reconciliation had been rebuffed.

Jonghyun passes him a warmed bowl of oats and water. Jinki lingers with it after he passes it over.

“Starting something up with him again?” He asks. The tone of his question is teasing, but the smile on his lips is more of a sneer. “Didn’t think it would happen so soon.”

Jonghyun blinks, entirely confused by the sudden question. ”Starting something? I don’t get what you mean.”

“You know — whatever it was you had with Taemin,” Jinki responds. “I suppose you have a thing for elves?”

Jonghyun’s stomach drops before what Jinki had said even sinks in.

Rage boils in his gut. A series of curses rests on his tongue, threatening to spill over. He yanks his hand back and says the first string of words without swears that flits through his mind.

“I don’t have a thing for anyone, in case you haven’t noticed.”

The tattooed curves over Jinki’s brow rise as his eyes widen.

Before Jinki can respond, Jonghyun turns away and bites the inside of his cheek.

Of all the things Jinki could have brought up, he had to bring up Taemin. As if his childhood friend was causing the rift between them, and not his own prejudice.

Anything to avoid bringing up the slurs he’d spit at the Tevinter mage. And the fact that he thinks mages should be locked away and ruled by templars again.

With shaking hands, Jonghyun smoothes out his robe, grabs his staff, and stalks ahead to where Taemin is waiting for them.

Taemin takes one look at Jonghyun’s expression. “Well, you look madder than a drugged dragon.” He glances back over his shoulder at Jinki and frowns. “What’d he say?”

“More ignorant shit, as I should’ve expected.” Jonghyun grits his teeth. “It’s nothing.”

Taemin eyes him skeptically, but eventually concedes with a shrug. “…Alright. I won’t push. But if you need me to tell him off, let me know.”

“I can handle it,” Jonghyun says. “Silence has been working well for us, I think.”

“Well, as long as we get done what we need to get done, I can live with awkward tension every time we stop to make camp.”

“Good.” Jonghyun huffs and adjusts his staff in his hand.

***

From the moment they leave camp, Jinki’s mind is on everything but their surroundings. He barely sees the dunes and rocks around him. Every time he blinks, the image of Jonghyun sleeping in Taemin’s tent appears before him, and everytime he looks over his shoulder, the stony set of Jonghyun’s lips remind him of the hurt beneath the anger in Jonghyun’s voice when he’d snapped at Jinki early that evening.

He doesn’t know whether he’s more angry with himself for lashing out with his snide comment, or at Jonghyun for leaving him to wake up to an empty tent without a word. Though he knows better than to think Taemin or Jonghyun would sleep together, his stomach still twists into knots at the thought that Jonghyun would prefer to share a tent with Taemin over him.

With his thoughts preoccupied, it takes him a while to realize they’re being followed.

At first, he writes off the noises coming from behind them as curious fennec, following them for meal scraps as animals would do with his clan back in the forest — but when he sees a person-shaped shadow stretching from a nearby rock, he twitches his ears back to listen.

With the constant sand blowing through the Western Approach, it’s hard to distinguish the sound of steps — they’d used that to their advantage when attacking the Venatori — but once he concentrates, he can hear the steady crunch of dirt under a pair of feet.

He feigns a scratch at his thigh to pull out the dagger strapped there, then hurries to catch up with Taemin and Jonghyun, who had ended up ahead of him.

Jonghyun clams up the moment he arrives, but Jinki forces himself to keep his expression neutral. “We’re being followed.”

Jonghyun’s first instinct is to look back, and only a quick placement of Taemin’s arm over his shoulder stops him.

“Animal or human?”

“It sounds like a person.“

“Just one?”

“I think so,” Jinki says. “But we should be careful, regardless. One mage is dangerous enough.”

Behind him, Jonghyun voices his displeasure at the comment with a huff, but stops with that.

“I say we confront them,” Taemin says. “Better now than when they have allies.”

Taemin addresses the empty landscape with as much authority as he can muster. “We know you’re following us — show yourself now, and put any weapons you have aside.”

Silence.

Taemin clears his throat. “If you don’t come out, we’ll come looking for you. You’re not likely to get away, and any attack you might make will result in a swift strike back — we’re with the Inquisition.”

A woman’s voice echos back at him.

“The Inquisition?”

Jinki pinpoints the source of the question — a narrow and barren tree rotting between two rocks — and a woman steps out from behind it a moment later.

Her hair spins in a wild tangle above her shoulders that hides her ears, but her eyes gleam like an elf’s in the night. A small dagger rests in one of her hands, and what looks to be a flask of water sits at her waist. Jinki’s stomach lurches at the confidence in her step as she approaches them, and the warrior-like firmness of her arms. Only the bareness of her face keeps him from seeing Hyoyeon in her place.

“Yes, I’m with the Inquisition,” Taemin says, voice still guarded. “Who are you with?”

“No one but myself, at present.” Her lips twitch with mild amusement, and Jinki relaxes instantly. Her accent is entirely Tevinter. “I escaped a week or two ago from some bastards I was sold to. Been wandering since.”

Taemin’s guard falls, and is replaced with his usual grin. “Well, congratulations on that.”

“Thank you.” She smiles tensely and palms her dagger into her other hand. Her movements are tense, as if she’s poised to flee, but there’s no sign of fear in her eyes when she levels them Jinki. “You’re from the Inquisition too?”

“Yes,” Jinki says, wanting to be the one to speak to her. “We were originally sent out here to investigate the old camps the Venatori left behind, since they were supposed to be gone. But then we ran into a party of them, and found they were using blood magic. So we’re trying to stop it.”

The woman startles, and looks at him with wide eyes, likely not expecting to hear her own accent from the mouth a Dalish elf.

“…You’re Tevinter?”

“He is,” Taemin answers for him. “And so am I, if you haven’t already noticed. I like to imagine I have more of an Antivan accent now, but apparently that’s not the case…”

“And him?” She juts her chin out at Jonghyun. “He’s Tevinter too?”

“No,” Taemin says. “He’s a friend of ours. Also with the Inquisition.”

“I see.” Her lips purse in thought, gaze remaining on Jonghyun. He shifts uncomfortably under her stare until she turns back to Taemin. “So — have you stopped the Venatori yet?”

“Not yet,” he says. “We’ve taken care of a few groups, so far, and are sending the elves we free back to the nearest Inquisition camp. But we heard there’s a magister leading this whole plan, and we’re continuing until we find him.”

She nods. “I heard the same — he’s planning on taking out the western fortress. He’ll have a harder time of it if you’ve already freed some of the sacrifices, but still….he’s a powerful mage. One group of slaves might be enough to do significant damage.”

Jinki shivers. He’d heard, through his magister and his fellow slaves, rituals with dozens of sacrifices carried out to kill a powerful rival or boost the mage’s powers. But it had always seemed so distant and improbable, like a heavy nightmare that would never come to pass, compared to the flesh and touch of the magister taking him to bed.

He’d never had time to think of it until the magister proposed using his blood for power. And due to Jinki’s refusal, he’d used Taemin’s instead. Though Taemin had eased his guilt the one time they’d discussed it, back at Jonghyun’s cabin, a part of Jinki still holds himself responsible for the scars that cover Taemin’s body. He wouldn’t let anyone go through that again, if he could stop it.

He turns to the woman, unconcerned that he might be cutting off whatever conversation her and Taemin were having. “You should get out of the area, in case the Venatori find you. We’ve cleared out all the Venatori east of here, so you should be able to get to the Inquisition camp safely.”

Her attention snaps to him, and her eyes glint at the new angle. “I’m not leaving. There’s still more of us out there. They’re scared of the Inquisition, so I want to help you.”

The stubborn set of her jaw echoes his memories of Hyoyeon, and he finds himself needing to swallow a lump in his throat. “I’m alright with that, if you’re a decent fighter. We can’t risk having a liability, since they could just use your blood for magic.”

She grins at him. “Have you heard of the arenas in Minrathous?”

“The magister that owned us never took us there, but I remember hearing of them.”

"I was a fighter there. Did good, for a few years, then had a spell of sickness that weakened me. That’s why I’m here — I was sold to the Venatori when I lost one too many fights.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re not stuck with them anymore. We’re much better company.” Taemin smiles and leans towards her. “Though I don’t believe we’ve caught your name yet…?”

“Seungwan.” She finally puts her dagger in the small sheath at her side. “And yours?”

“I’m Taemin. Official Inquisition mapmaker, and unofficial leader for this mission.” He gestures behind him with a purposefully grandiose sweep of his arms. “The Dalish elf is Jinki, and Jonghyun is our mage.”

“I see.” She eyes Jonghyun narrowly at the confirmation of his status as a mage, but eventually turns her attention back to Taemin. “I’ll help you all with the Venatori that are left. Do you have any extra armor or weapons? Potions, at least?”

“We have potions, but that’s it,” Taemin answers. “We’ve been taking supplies and rations from the Venatori camps as we go, but we left the last one behind a few miles ago.”

“Then I’ll make do with what I have, until we get some more of the bastards.” The smile she attempts strains at the corners of her mouth, and he flinches with her when her lip splits.

He hadn’t noticed before — he’d been too distracted by the similarities in her build and posture to Hyoyeon — but under the surface of her boasting is a deep weariness from wandering. Even in the darkness, Jinki can see that the skin of her broad shoulders is blistered and burned from exposure to the sun.

Jonghyun seems to notice it at the same time as him, and speaks up from behind them both. “Perhaps we should set up camp early. Sunrise is only a few hours away.”

She eyes him suspiciously, but eventually nods in agreement. “Fine with me. From what I remember overhearing about, their plan is still a few weeks away, and they’ll likely delay it even more once they realize their shipments of sacrifices aren’t coming in.”

Seungwan designates herself as first watch and settles at the highest point in the area.

As Jinki sets up the tents, Taemin marks his map with the landmarks they had passed that night. From the corner of his eye, he watches Jonghyun. The mage fiddles with their single iron pot for a moment before climbing up to the dune where Seungwan had settled.

Even when he tries to angle his ears towards them, he can’t hear the low conversation they’re having. Jonghyun kneels behind her, hands out to hover her shoulders. The soft glow from Jonghyun’s magic lights trickles from where Seungwan had perched to bathe the camp in a blue light that blends purple with the orange from the sunrise.

He turns back to finish the tie on their tent rope before Jonghyun can catch him looking.

To his surprise, Seungwan follows him to sit at the far end of camp. Stretching out her legs, she takes a seat on the ground and digs into her meal. As Jinki had expected, the blistered and peeling skin that had been on her shoulders is gone, replaced by the bright red flush of healing skin.

She wipes her mouth and tilts her head towards Jonghyun. “Strange mage you have here, asking permission before he touches or magics you.”

Jinki takes a long sip of his broth as his thoughts spin from the simple statement. Unsure how to respond, he answers with the shortest response he can manage. “He is.”

“He seems kind. Are all mages in the south like that?”

“I don’t know. He’s the only one I’ve met,” Jinki answers. It’s a half-truth, but it’s the only answer he feels like giving. Joonmyeon and the Keeper of his clan were gone now, and as Dalish elves, they hardly counted.

Seungwan hums. “And you don’t trust him enough to share with him?”

The direct question flusters him. “What?”

“He mentioned that I’ll have to either share a tent with you or him, since there’s only two tents. Which kind of implies you refuse to share with him, doesn’t it?”

Jinki grits his teeth. It made sense for Seungwan to assume he was the one with the problem — most people held wariness of mages — but the thought still angered him, and he speaks without thinking. “I’m not the one who decided that.”

The snap in his voice instantly quiets her, long enough for him to worry that he’s somehow frightened her. But when he glances over, she’s staring down at her empty bowl with a thoughtful expression, plainly trying to work out the implications behind his statement.

It’s the same thing he would do, if he were thrust into a group of strangers and discovered two of them were avoiding each other. But Creators, if she was as nosy as Taemin, and started asking him questions…

He stands and hands what’s left of his soup towards her before she can have a chance to protest. “Here. You can have the rest.”

She blinks down at the bowl, then looks up, a flicker of prideful defiance in her eyes. “I wasn’t that close to starving. You don’t need to give me your meal.”

He shrugs. “I have first watch, and eating too much will make me tired.”

“Thanks.” She takes a deep drink from the broth, not bothering to hide her hunger now, and wipes at her chin. “You’re fine sharing your tent with me, then?”

“I’m fine with it,” Jinki says. There’s another bit of Hyoyeon in her answering smile, and he finds himself returning it. “Just don’t complain when you have difficulty waking me for my watch.”

She snorts. “I know how to deal with that, don’t worry — a bucket of water can wake anyone.”

#jongyu #da au #long fic #i luv seungwan so much ;-;#and jinki Fucks Up Again

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