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allthingslinguistic · 4 years ago

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How we made a better podcast website for Lingthusiasm

We recently redesigned the website for Lingthusiasm, a podcast that's enthusiastic about linguistics which I've been making along with Lauren Gawne and a team of excellent people for the past 5 years.

As part of the process, we did a lot of research and thinking into what a podcast website could and should contain. The more I talked with people about what their goals are when visiting the website of a podcast, the more appreciation I developed for website design as a way of communicating with people. Just like how we design a Lingthusiasm episode itself to bring people through an interesting linguistics topic regardless of their level of familiarity with previous episodes or with linguistics in general, a podcast website needs to work for multiple types of visitor.

We'd been meaning to redo our website for 2 of those 5 years. And the more I talked about this project with other people, the more people I found who also had a website they'd been meaning to make, or revamp, or had recently made or revamped. In the process of researching what podcast website visitors want and trying to find great podcast websites to model ourselves on, we learned that many podcast websites aren't actually as useful as they could be, so I decided to write up what we did and what we learned, in the hopes that it'll be useful to other people who are interested in podcasts or web design more generally.

Or, if you prefer clickbait summaries, You'll Never Believe We Made This Website Using Tumblr! (Ahem. Sorry about that.) Here’s a little preview:

A Theory of Opacity

The Problem

The Background

The Research

The Goal

The Design

The Implementation

The Results

The Takeaways

The Thanks

Step 1: A Theory of Opacity

Podcasts have what's often called a discoverability problem: it's hard for prospective listeners who might like a particular podcast to know what's out there.

I propose, however, that this problem is not unique to podcasts, and that we could understand the nature of this problem better by calling it opacity: the degree to which you're able to try before you buy without committing a substantial chunk of time, money, or effort. For example, books have a higher opacity than newspapers, despite both being text, because it's easier to read through some news articles before buying a physical paper or online subscription. Books, even when you can leaf through the first few pages, are often designed to be a unified rather than a modular experience, so you don't know before committing to it if the premise that seems intriguing on page 1 is going to pay off well a few chapters later. Even if you're getting access to the book itself as a gift or a loan, the time that it takes to figure out whether you're enjoying it is still rather daunting. Similarly, buying a product in a store often gives it a lower opacity than buying the same product online, especially items like clothing.

The opacity of a product is a big factor in how you need to think about connecting it with the people who might be interested in it. My local grocery store does not need to invest effort in figuring out how to reduce my opacity with respect to, say, lemons, because I already know what a lemon tastes like and what I might use it for and the lemons available to me in Canada are all really much of a muchness as far as quality goes. Anyone who has somehow made it to adulthood without trying a lemon can already do so in a very low-risk way by ordering most cold drinks at a restaurant, so further free lemon samples probably aren't going to move the needle much and they should try a different marketing strategy. But, if the grocery store starts stocking a fruit that hasn't been commonly available in Canada (say, soursop), or which is commonly available but comes in widely varying qualities (like peaches), they would probably find it helps with sales to reduce the opacity of the fruit — by providing free samples, cutting one open so I can see what it looks like inside, providing selection instructions on how to know when it's ripe, or even hand-selling me on why I might want to try it (as happened to me many years ago with Honeycrisp apples).

In mature markets, you can often tell the opacity of a product category by noticing which ones have opacity-reducing ecosystems around them. Books have tons of factors which aim to reduce their opacity, from the blurbs and cover art on the book itself to the reviews and recommendations in the broader book ecosystem. It would be sort of ridiculous to imagine an ecosystem like this around newspapers (hey, seven public intellectuals have each written a sentence about why you should try the New York Times! here's my top 10 list of newspapers you should try this summer!).

Podcasts are also relatively opaque, because of their length and the increased demands of the audio format, even though they're often free. And one big thing that's opaque about podcasts is the question of why the podcast website exists in the first place.

Step 2: The Problem

The first problem that needs to be solved when considering a podcast website is figuring out who it's for. See, the normal way that most people interact with most podcasts, most of the time, is through their chosen podcast app. I see this at conferences: people who've had an interesting conversation with me and are excited to find out I have a podcast will pull out their phones, search for the podcast name in their app, and follow it right from the app, no website involved at all. This is why many podcasts don't really have great websites, and sometimes even don't have a website at all, because you can really can get away with it for a while.

But getting away with something doesn't mean it's actually great tactics, and in the case of podcast websites it's not. That's because, as we found through some surveying, while the median listener of your podcast doesn't use the website, there are two very important outlier groups of people who do use podcast websites, and you really want to help both of them. The tricky bit is that these two outlier groups are on completely opposite sides of the median, in terms of their relationship with your podcast.

Prospective listeners

The first group is people who have never listened to the podcast and they're checking it out, maybe considering listening, maybe looking for a transcript instead, maybe trying to decide whether they're willing to accept an invitation to guest on the show, maybe they're a journalist who's considering covering the show, maybe they're clicking over from social media, maybe they've just stumbled across the name of the show and they've googled it trying to figure out like, what its deal is. They're not sold on the show yet (that's why they're not in the podcast app!) but they're actively in the process of deciding whether they want to get into the show, and so it's super useful and valuable to give them a compelling answer to the "would I like this?" question in a centralized location which you have full control over. You're halfway there because they've managed to find you already — wouldn't you want to help them over whatever remaining hurdles they're wondering about?

Big fans

The second group of website visitors are people who are really keen on the podcast and they're taking the leap into becoming even bigger fans — or they're big fans who are returning to the website regularly. Maybe they're visiting the shownotes page for extra reading, maybe they're looking for a platform-agnostic link that they can send to friends or students to try to get them to listen, maybe they're looking for social media profiles or bonus content or merch or to find other fans, maybe they've reached the level of fandom where they're determined to consume every scrap of content you've put online. Again, this is a great group of people! You really want to help them! It's good for your show if fans have an easier time giving you money, buying merch, finding any extra content you've made for them, sharing the show with prospective new fans, and otherwise engaging with you more deeply in the way you're looking for.

Even if, just to pull random numbers out of my hat, 80% of a podcast's listeners aren't visiting the website on any given month, helping that (say) 20% through a website gives you disproportionate impact because website visitors are at a liminal stage: mostly people with the potential to convert from prospective listeners to actual listeners and from median fans to highly engaged fans, both of which are things every podcast wants.

Therefore, you need a podcast website. And crucially a website that somehow miraculously works for both complete newbies and die-hards. No pressure.

This was the situation we found ourselves in when we decided to get serious about revamping Lingthusiasm's website earlier this year. We'd known we had this problem, and we'd even done twitter polls and threads to confirm our assumptions about the two types of podcast website visitors based on our own experiences visiting the websites of other podcasts in our own podcast listening lifecycles. Now it was time to solve it.

Step 3: The Background

But first, a brief orientation to the previous state of Lingthusiasm's website, which had been the case for its first five years of enthusiastic linguistics podcasting. Lingthusiasm's original website was formatted as a blog, with each new episode and transcript (and occasional announcement post) appearing as its own post in reverse chronological order, plus some static information showing up on the sidebar, which also contained menu links to static pages like "about" and merch.

Originally, there hadn't been that many episodes or static pages, so this layout sort of worked, but as they'd kept growing, this became an unwieldy experience for everyone except the median listener, the one who shows up at a podcast site already interested in the show and just wanting the link to the most recent episode. But as we established, the median listener is less likely to visit the site than either the newbie or the superfan. Plus, because each episode had its own shownotes page, the median listener generally visited the site when prompted to by the link to each new episode page as shared on social media — they weren't going to the homepage really at all. So, while we wanted to preserve the episode pages, which were serving their purposes completely adequately, the main, first homepage, the thing you find if you google "Lingthusiasm" or click the link in our bio? That part was begging for improvement.

Let's scroll down a bit. Sooo much text. Side menu bars...not great. And is the most recent thing we've posted (in this case, a transcript) really the first thing a new user wants to see? Who knows…

There was one further complication: our whole site was hosted on Tumblr. Making a blog-based site have a static homepage is very straightforward on, say, WordPress. Maybe now that Automattic has bought Tumblr, it'll become an option there too one day (if there are any Tumblr staff reading this post, hey, drop us a line, we'd love to chat). But for the meantime, we were on Tumblr with Tumblr's existing feature set, and we didn't particularly want to leave. Partly, that was just because it would be a pain to migrate our existing site over somewhere else.

But a bigger part is that both Lauren and I as cohosts had well-established blogs on tumblr, Superlinguo and All Things Linguistic, long before we started the podcast, so having the shownotes posts live on tumblr let us both reblog them easily to our followers, not to mention letting our followers continue sharing and spreading them (which they do!). Tumblr is actually our second highest social platform in terms of followers, just after Twitter and higher than Instagram or Facebook. And it's much more link-friendly/multimedia-friendly than most other social media sites, with no algorithm to fear, so we're actually quite happy to keep investing in Tumblr. Just...not at the expense of the website being easy to navigate as a website.

But the mitigating factor here is that Tumblr has been around long enough that it has an extensive library of themes people have made for it, and it also has no qualms about letting you dig around, MySpace-style, in the html and CSS for free. So, maybe it'll be possible after all...

To recap, the challenge: make a website that would be a great experience for two very different types of users, all on a platform that was really designed to facilitate us doing no such thing. We commissioned Liz McCullough (different spelling, no relation!) to help us with further research on what the website needed to accomplish, investigation of which tools we could use to build the improved site, and finally the implementation that would bring the goals and the tools together.

Step 4: The Research

We did three things to assess the current state of our podcast website and how well it was working for its visitors.

1. User testing

In early stages, when we knew we needed to improve the website but not exactly how, I was talking with my friend Julia Evans about how we were working on this problem, when she very kindly volunteered to take a look at our current site and narrate her first reactions while I looked over her shoulder. This was very helpful!

Not only did Julia's reactions highlight (again) how bad our mobile experience was, and how our list of static pages was long and made the eyes glaze over, but she also made a couple of very concrete and useful observations, such as that we weren't highlighting the existence of transcripts enough and that people other than instructors might be interested in a list of episodes by topic, which resulted in us splitting out the "teaching" page into a more general "episodes by topic" page and a more instructor-focused "teaching" page.

2. User survey

Since having one person look at the current website was already providing useful insights, we decide to do a survey about what people in general are looking for in a podcast website, which I ran in a rough-and-ready way from my twitter account, using a mix of twitter polls and highlighting people's comments to see if they would prompt further replies. Obviously, the people who follow me on Twitter are not a balanced sample by any imagination, but since they're likely to over-index for "people who are interested in my podcast", I figured this was an acceptable sampling bias.

Here are a selection of the helpful comments we got from people about what they do (or don't) use podcast websites for:

When I was collecting ling podcast eps for teaching reasons I visited websites (including the lingthusiasm tumblr) to look for things like transcripts and lists of episodes by topic otherwise as just-a-listener I rarely if ever do

I listen to podcasts all the time, at work, on my commute, and at home. I simply forget there is a website to visit, so I’ve never gone to one. This is actually reminding me that there have been some podcasts with web pages I meant to visit to get more of the story!

Both transcripts, and "more info" but specifically links in the shownotes.

I'm kinda also looking for community. (I'm thinking about starting my own podcast so my perspective is both a fan of yours and figuring out my own plans.)

For me, it's always one of three reasons: 1. I heard about the podcast somewhere and want to get the official feed URL to subscribe to. 2. An episode doesn't have thorough enough embedded notes and I want more info on something mentioned. 3. Looking for how to support it (💰).

Never. But I assign a LOT of them (including yours) and students who don’t already listen to podcasts on apps on their phones actually go to the website to listen.

Both ends of the spectrum of engagement for me: Trying a one-off episode of something I won’t subscribe to or going deep on show note links for something I listen to religiously.

I really only use a podcast's website for two reasons - to learn more about the show if I've just heard of it and am thinking about starting to listen; or if I've enjoyed a show for a while and want to find a link to their merch (for shows that don't include this in the notes.

The vast majority of the time I’m visiting a podcast website is because they’ve invited me to the show and I’m doing a “Do they align with my morals & values?” check.

A podcast website is the best place to figure out if you like a podcast before committing to subscribing.

There were also quite a few comments about how people visited podcast websites looking for transcripts and for more information in the shownotes, such as the spellings of names, links to websites or books mentioned, links to merch, and further reading. Both of those two things the Lingthusiasm website was already doing, so this was nice validation for us!

However, since we can tell from stats that new fans often go back and listen to all of the old episodes, it seemed that an area for improvement would be doing more to help people get to transcripts and shownotes pages for archival episodes, rather than only highlighting the most recent shownotes and transcripts blog-style

I also asked a few survey-style questions of what people use podcast websites for, which resulted in agreement that recommending a few starter episodes for new listeners would be useful (even though most podcasts aren't doing it yet), the vast majority of people just visit a podcast website once or twice (not for every episode), and mobile is somewhat though not resoundingly more popular than desktop.

3. User profiles

Based on people's responses to the twitter survey, plus private conversations and our own experiences as podcast users, we had Liz McCullough, as her first step in redesigning the website, do an audit of our old website with potential user scenarios extracted from the twitter thread, an assessment of how well the mobile and desktop sites accomplished those scenarios, and proposed solution where applicable. Here's a sample of what one scenario looked like:

Scenario: I’m clicking a link from social media.

Mobile: At the time of testing, the most recent post is a transcript, so I don’t immediately even understand that this is a podcast (just something with “episodes”). I have to scroll down a little bit to see a playable episode and down a LOT to see anything else. I might never make it there.

Web: If I’m looking, I can more readily understand what this is, given that the “about” section in the right panel is viewable without scrolling. Still, the most recent post takes up most of the space.

Solutions: splash page or prominent tagline near the top?

It's not really necessary to belabour how much the old website failed at most of the scenarios (here's the whole report showing how much it did), so instead I'll just give the list of our user situations (with a few additions that didn't make it on the report but were considered in subsequent design), in case this summarized list might help people:

I'm clicking a link to the main site page from social media.

I've clicked a shownotes link from social media and now I'm wondering what else is going on with this show

A friend sent me this link and said I'd enjoy the podcast.

I've heard of this podcast (potentially to do an interview or cover them) and I just want to figure out what their deal is and maybe contact info if I decide I like their deal

I googled "linguistics podcast" and ended up on your site.

Someone recommended your podcast and I don't actually listen to podcasts but maybe if there's transcripts?

I've encountered something else that suggests I'll probably like this podcast but what I don't like is typing things, can I just get a link to where it lives in my podcast app?

I'm a student and my teacher/professor told me to listen to Episode Number Whatever

I'm a teacher/professor and I'm trying to find that episode I vaguely remember from two years ago to forward to my students slash I want to see if there's anything else that's relevant for them

I'm not able to listen, but I regularly read your transcripts

I've heard a couple of recent episodes, liked them, and now I'm trying to decide if I should go back and listen to more

I listen all the time and want those sweet, sweet shownotes

I listen all the time and heard you mention merch on the show and now I want to find it!

I listen sometimes, but I really like what you're doing and want to support you

I've listened to all the main episodes and I've been told there are bonus episodes somewhere and I want them!!!

I've become a huge fan of this podcast and now I want to talk to other people who are into this thing as well!

Liz's summary points are also useful:

The current web site experience is heavily dependent on the most recent post. (On mobile, this is probably pretty much the only thing that people see.)

Ideally, there would be better architecture pointing people to where they might want to go, especially on mobile. A bit of structure would help a lot with the long-list-of-links problem.

It might be helpful to create some kind of “new listener” page for the truly uninitiated (which seems likely to be a decent portion of views, based on Gretchen’s poll).

I think it was especially helpful to have third parties involved at the user research stage, from having Julia as a friend doing a quick set of real-time reactions, to my twitter followers replying with what they looked for from a podcast website, to hiring Liz to do an audit of the site and how well it was serving its various types of users (note that Liz is a relative newcomer to the podcast and wasn't involved in creating or maintaining the previous website, so she hasn't had time to get used to its quirks and start taking them for granted, which I think was useful!).

In any case, what we've extracted from this user research is that there's a largely U-shaped, bimodal distribution in terms of who's visiting Lingthusiasm's website (and, we suggest, the websites of most other podcasts) — the new/prospective people and the people who know they already like us. This is the scenario that I described at the top of this post, but the research at this stage was what enabled me to figure out that earlier thing which I'm presenting out of order.

Step 5: The Goal

So, now that we've figured out the two primary groups of users that were being under-served from the Lingthusiasm website, plus a few more specific scenarios, we can work on what website elements would help them and how to integrate those into a cohesive website together.

The first thing we realized is that our two website user types had very different emotional relationships with us as a podcast, and thus with what they'd be willing to put up with on our website. Prospective listeners had essentially zero relationship with us: if we didn't show them signs of something relevant early on, they'd bounce and never come back. Die-hard fans already knew us and liked us -- if the first thing they saw on the site wasn't quite for them, they'd keep digging (especially by following the menu bar). Moreover, existing fans were also particularly likely to have other prospective listeners in their orbits: you know how, when you get really into something, and you want to persuade all your friends and family to try it too? So highlighting early on some persuasive/descriptive information about what the show was like and who might be into it was actually the most useful thing to do for everyone who'd be likely to visit the website. It's directly useful for prospective listeners and makes the site an extremely forwardable summary of why someone might want to get into the show, which is something that die-hard fans might not have come looking for but can appreciate when they get it.

Now that we know we need to persuade, we need to determine what information people find useful for deciding whether or not they want to get into a podcast. Bearing in mind that the internet is a big place and a show can be very successful by appealing strongly to a fairly specific niche, so we knew that helping people make an effective and accurate decision for them is better than promising to be all things to all people only to disappoint when people actually start listening.

Personally, when I hear about a new podcast, what I want to know is two things: one, do I like the premise? and two, does it execute on the premise well?

Lingthusiasm has a decent premise: many people like two-person conversation-style podcasts where you learn things about nerdy topics, language is something everyone encounters and therefore something people are often curious about, and half hour monthly episodes is a reliable but not overwhelming posting schedule. But where it really wins or loses is in execution: ongoing-host conversation style podcasts in general only work when the hosts have genuinely good chemistry, when the editing is invisible but effective, and when, crucially, the hosts actually make the conversation as interesting and funny as promised. This is why people pull out their phones and subscribe to Lingthusiasm after I talk with them about linguistics for five minutes at a party — because I've just given them a proof of concept. We can (and do) give proof of concept like this on social media through short audio clip posts, but it's pretty hard to get people to hit play on an audio clip if they don't know anything else going in.

As I talked about at the beginning of this post, podcasts are a relatively opaque format. Like with a book, most people require opacity-reduction mechanisms for a podcast — they don't just pick it up and hit play or start reading, they need something or even several things to convince them. Think about it like the difference between a movie and a tiktok video. If a friend sends me a tiktok with a very vague message like "omg", I'll probably just watch it no questions asked, since it's so short. But if the same friend is trying to get me into a show that's 10 seasons long, I'm really going to take a lot more convincing. This is why trailers and reviews are a thing for long videos and not short ones!

There are many opacity-reduction mechanisms that podcasts already use to attract new listeners, like creating short clips, soliciting reviews, and doing guest spots on other shows, in addition to the obvious things like art and descriptive text. But one way of reducing opacity that was particularly on my mind from my experience with the book world for Because Internet was the idea of doing podcast blurbs. After all, there are certain characteristics that are just more credible if someone else says them about you: in our case, we needed to establish that we're trustworthy sources of information as hosts, but also that we're genuinely funny and engaging. So we looked back through various reviews and recommendations that people had made of Lingthusiasm over the years and picked out a few sentences that covered these points to feature on the website.

(Other podcast styles may have different priorities in terms of what proof their prospective listeners need: for example, interview-based shows rely on the interestingness of their guests, and so don't need to invest as much in demonstrating host expertise or chemistry — in this case, something like highlighting a few well-known guests might be appropriate instead.)

Step 6: The Design

Okay, so what does it look like in practice to make a podcast homepage incorporating various ways of breaking down opacity for new listeners but which also is still useful and not off-putting for fans who want to do a deep dive?

Let's break down the elements of the new Lingthusiasm homepage (click to see the live version), which, hey, doesn't look like a blog anymore! Look, Ma, it's a grown-up website!

Small top menu bar - most people will skip over this automatically because it's a standard UI element, but it contains a few useful navigation links for returning fans and persists through the page, if people realize they don't want to be scrolling

Cover photo - with "Lingthusiasm: a podcast that's enthusiastic about linguistics" so you know where you've ended up

Narrow banner - with links to the show's feed on all the major podcast platforms (not just Apple Podcasts), so if you're already sold on the show and just came here for the link to the feed, you're not wasting too long hunting (it's not practical to link to the entire long tail of indie podcast apps, but including links to the most popular of them, and the direct rss link, signals to sophisticated podcast listeners that we're on all the other places as well)

Next block: okay, you stuck around below the link to the podcast apps, that means you'd like more about what the show's like?

Three short quotes from other people attesting that yes, we actually know our stuff, yes, we're actually for a general audience and not boring, and yes, we're even funny. All of these things are difficult to believe if people assert them about themselves, so we decided to borrow a page from book blurbs and let other people assert them for us.

A longer description of what the show is like, with the beginnings of a few logistical details like our schedule

The tagline at the very beginning and the longer description make a sort of sandwich around the testimonials, effectively saying "here's what this show is trying to do, and here's how people think it succeeds."

A grid of six navigational icons, leading to episodes, transcripts, and bonus episodes, plus about, Patreon, and merch. These boxes are partly for the existing die-hard fans, saying "hey, you scrolled through some text that maybe you didn't read particularly closely because you already know how to describe the show, here are some nav boxes that'll take you down the rabbit hole!" But putting the boxes here after the description also lets them be useful for the first wave of prospective listeners, the relatively easily convinced: "okay, you liked this description? here's how to get to the episodes" as well as media/scoping people who might not actually be intending to listen but who are looking for meta details such as the existence of transcripts or a link to the about page.

Three suggested starter episodes - An additional nudge for prospective listeners who are sorta interested enough to keep scrolling but not quite enough to click through. The episodes are not consecutively numbered and also have clearly signposted transcript links right next to them, making the point that episodes can be listened to in any order and reminding people that we have transcripts. This also increases the value of the homepage, which now also functions as a "where to get started" link for both us and existing fans trying to drag their friends down the rabbit hole.

Email newsletter signup box - At the bottom of the static page itself, for fans that are die-hard enough to want to scroll through this whole page before clicking any nav boxes. It's our firm conviction that there's no point in bugging people about the email newsletter signup before they even know what your thing is.

Below the static elements, and partly for technical reasons (more about technical details in a bit), we have the original new episode posts that comprised the entire homepage of the original site, in reverse chronological order. For new listeners, these are a few easy to click "play" buttons if they want to start listening right away. And in case any of our existing users were actually listening by navigating to the homepage once a month and clicking play on the most recent episode (our stats suggest there were very few of them), this behaviour is still possible.

Plus, at the very bottom, we have a pretty standard footer with more descriptive text and social media links. We assume that most people follow us on social media through some combination of being a super keen fan and/or seeing us in their feeds while already there, so we don't need to hard sell social media on our website.

This deals with the problem of the homepage not being useful for newcomers or people who want to dive deep into the show. We also had to deal with the navigation — having one menu bar with all of the static page links was getting unwieldy, and would be entirely too large in the mobile-friendly top floating menu bar of the new theme (previously the menu had been a static sidebar, which is kind of okay on desktop but really bad on mobile).

To figure out how to pare down the navigation, we looked at all the static pages and decided which ones thematically went together and a rough path that people might logically want to take from one to another. For example, "people" (the page with bios of our team) and "FAQ" naturally went under "about", "episodes" could also contain transcripts and bonus episodes, and the page recognizing Patreon supporters above a certain tier could be a sub-page of "community", the page that describes our discord server. Since taxonomies are hard, we also created redundancies by cross-linking sub-pages where we thought that people might reasonably desire multiple paths to them, such as linking to our crossovers page from both "about" and "community".

So far, so good. We made a rough paper sketch containing these broad elements. Obviously, because I'm showing you live screenshots, you know that we did accomplish this, but if you're someone who knows things about website design and is mostly here because you're like "okay, but I can't believe they did this on TUMBLR" this next section is for you. (If not, y'know, feel free to skip to the following section.)

Step 7: The Implementation

Now, how we actually accomplished this given the design limitations of Tumblr.

The hardest technical element was in figuring out what our most promising option was for creating the landing page, not just the blog view. We knew we needed something static to articulate what the show is and where the additional content for fans is, but we also had to integrate it with the existing blog side, which we had no intention of getting rid of as it's still very useful (each of the shownotes pages and transcript pages is a blog post).

Three options that we considered and ended up not opting for, in order from least to most complicated.

Use Tumblr's pinned post feature. We could make a post with basic descriptive and navigational elements that would be pinned at the top of the site, above the most recent episode/transcript post. This would have worked okay, but the menu bars were still cluttered and not great on mobile, so we would have had to do this and also find a new theme. Also, Tumblr's post formatting isn't great at things like "putting two images beside each other" or "links that aren't just static in-line text" so we would have had to hand-code that into a pinned post anyway...at which point we were also looking into other options.

Host the static homepage somewhere else entirely. For example, we could make a nice-looking static homepage somewhere like WordPress, and then mess with subdomains to get two sites hosted in different places to be seemingly unified. This wouldn't have been too bad for a new project — we could have pointed lingthusiasm.com to the static site and then hosted the tumblr posts under something like posts.lingthusiasm.com. However, since we already had five years of post links pointing to lingthusiasm.com/post/etc, we weren't especially relishing the prospect of setting up a whole bunch of redirects to make all those links still work. Alternatively, we could have hosted the new static homepage under something like home.lingthusiasm.com, but then we would have faced the inverse problem — we also had 5 years of linking people to lingthusiasm.com as the main show site and there wasn't an obvious way to get them to stop expecting a decent homepage experience right there.

Mess with Tumblr code to try and get the homepage to be a static page. According to an eight-year-old answer on Quora (definitely not at all a dubious method of getting tech advice), there's a block of posts snippet that you can delete from your tumblr theme which gets rid of the reverse-chrono list of posts and then you can hand-code something else there instead. We did actually try this method, on a separate "sandbox" tumblr account that we set up to test things without breaking the main Lingthusiasm site. Unfortunately, while it did remove the posts block as promised, it also broke all of the tag pages (such as), which apparently depend on the same posts block code snippet. We're not actually sure how much our users depend on the tag pages, so we briefly considered just going for this option, but it would have been highly inconvenient to us as hosts, because we use our own tag pages a lot. And besides, it would have left us, again, hand coding the new homepage from scratch, which again, seemed like a bit of a waste of time when there are plenty of nice, newer themes that are already doing a much better job at being responsive on mobile and other useful things.

The one thing that became apparent when we were paralyzed by which, if any, of these tedious, inconvenient, and aesthetically dubious options to pick, was that regardless of how we solved the static landing page issue, we definitely needed to find a new Tumblr theme with better mobile support and better menu options.

So we started looking at themes first. The approximate plan was to see if we could find a theme with a better header/menu/mobile situation, and then perhaps use a pinned post to fill in a few more information/navigation options. But since we had static landing pages on the brain, and the dubious Quora answer seemed to indicate that something in this vein might actually be possible, we decided to try some search terms around static homepages or landing pages as well.

In the end, we managed to find exactly two themes which had already figured out how to put a bunch of stuff above the posts on your tumblr homepage, which seemed basically close enough to a static landing page for our purposes. Perhaps even better, since, after all, some people do find the most recent few static posts useful (they normally point to the most recent episode and transcript, plus any announcements going on). Both themes were from 2017 and by a user called Cubxanh, of which we bought the one that seemed more flexible, Phoenix 2.0. (Yes, it seems obvious to say "just google the type of theme you want" but I've subsequently managed to not be able to find these themes again on subsequent googling, despite knowing they had to be there, because I forgot the precise search string that produced them, so trust me when I say this was Advanced Search Skills.)

The theme was a very good start, but by no means the end of the process. The Phoenix 2.0 theme template contained a lot of modular customizable elements (slideshows! carousels! buttons! ribbons!), including many we didn't need and others that we wanted to move around or repeat more of. So the next task we hired Liz McCullough for was to make these modifications and in general figure out how to translate the general design vision we'd had (testimonials, navigation elements, starter episodes) into the assets available to us from the theme. Liz reports from the other end of having done all of these tweaks that the relevant bit of code is {block:HomePage} {/block:HomePage} and is actually documented on Tumblr's official custom themes variables lists. It's not clear to either of us why there are only two themes we can find that seem to make much use of it, but perhaps most people aren't mule-headed enough to want to reverse engineer "a website that doesn't look much like a blog" out of "a website platform that's pretty determined to be a blog" which, I mean, is very sensible of them.

Fairly early on, we realized that the Phoenix 2.0 theme contained a navigation box asset which would be useful for our purposes, but that it looked much better in the demo theme because it had consistent-looking art inside it as the icons. The specific icons from the theme didn't depict the elements we needed (and they would have been the wrong aesthetic anyway), so we decided to commission some icon-style art assets from Lucy Maddox, who we've worked with before on art for merch, in Lingthusiasm colours and vibe. This hasn't been in the initial plan but made a huge difference as far as the overall professionalism of the website. Liz also made the various podcast player icons all have a consistent size and colour scheme, which made them look much nicer together. Finally, we'd also updated our big splash cover photo a few months earlier with a new one in higher res, with an eye to it looking better on the new website.

We made the initial website draft on a "sandbox" tumblr account (an extra one that no one follows), which enabled us to test how all the custom theme elements and mods would interact with Tumblr's defaults pretty thoroughly before making it go live, so we were able to experiment with layouts and generally break it and fix it lots of times before transferring it over to the main site (where the subsequent fixes were a lot more minor). We're still tweaking the content on some of the other static pages, but a website is never truly "done", only live, and the core navigational design elements are all indeed live now.

Step 8: The Results

Our primary goal with the website redesign for Lingthusiasm was to improve the experience of several existing groups of people who were visiting it already, so we didn't particularly expect to see results immediately. That said, we've noticed in the weeks since the website redesign went live that we seem to be getting a modest but noticeable increase in website visitors. It's not quite clear why — it's consistent (i.e. following our usual weekly cycles) so it seems to be unlikely that it's linked to sharing activity. Perhaps google has noticed that the site is displaying better on mobile?

User feedback has, unsurprisingly, not generally noticed that the site was on tumblr in the first place, which was of course the goal, although it's also anticlimactic. (The few people who've told us they were surprised to find out it's tumblr have been very gratifying, thank you.) Nonetheless, despite the efforts that it took to find and customize a new theme to this extent, it was still much easier to just update the theme rather than changing our whole hosting platform. (And as far as I can tell, our actual tumblr followers haven't even noticed anything at all!)

The biggest result of having spent nearly two years talking and thinking about a website redesign is that we now have a much clearer sense of what people are looking for when they're visiting our website, which results in having a clearer idea of how we talk about Lingthusiasm on social media and in other places — especially the insight about how podcasts are an opaque format and how we need to reduce opacity in order for people to be more encouraged to try it out.

At first, we felt kinda sheepish about how long it took us to redesign our website. Surely we could have gotten around to doing it faster? And I mean, to be fair, part of this was just other projects coming up that were higher priority than redesigning an already adequate site — the research time was very spread out over an initial few months, and the active redesign time was about 6 months. But also, now that the new site is live and it's led to conversations about redesigning websites with various people, it seems like this is actually a fairly normal amount of time for it to take to redesign a website, at least if you're a mid-sized, mid-level indie internet project like Lingthusiasm. That's because the things we thought we were exceptions for are actually normal: everyone who's redesigning their site is doing so amid other projects (whatever the thing is that the website is for), and in conversation with an existing tech setup of some kind, which often involves making various kinds of adjustments based on what your tech tools are capable of.

Finally, the thing that takes the longest in a website redesign isn't so much the poking at the html and css and so on, but actually figuring out what should go where, largely by trying some version and changing your mind. It's like how writing a book isn't constrained so much by your typing speed, more by your researching and thinking speed. And it's actually good to do that thinking gradually over a longer period of time and by talking with people rather than rushing in and getting distracted by how much whitespace to add. It's relatively easy to hire someone to help with the tech or art aspects, but visual design won't be much good to you if you don't have a clear understanding of the more complicated side, the user experience design.

Step 9: The Takeaways

The best website is a website you'll actually maintain. It doesn't matter how elegant your website design is, if the information on it is several years out of date because getting into the update thingy is just such a pain or you need to start a whole email chain to get a minor typo fixed. But on the other hand, if the appearance of your website is irritating you so much that you never want to update any of the information, that's also not great! There's no single optimal design or tech setup, but there is knowing yourself first and your users second, and picking something you'll be able to live in comfortably and invite other people into as well. And this often means using some combination of existing tools, help from others, and things you do yourself. For us that meant, well, a highly bespoke tumblr setup.

Think about how opaque your thing is and what you can do to make it easier for people to have a sense of what they might be getting into. Do people still need education on what a podcast is or how to listen to one? Increasingly less. Are they always going to need a compelling description and indicators that you can execute well on your premise? Yes. (Everyone knows what a book is and yet books still put a lot of effort into what's on the cover.)

Therefore, if you do nothing else to improve your podcast website, have a beginner-friendly description of your show in a prominent location, rather than just making your website cater to existing fans. All current fans had to come from somewhere, and prospective listeners were the biggest group of visitors in our survey. A few suggested starter episodes is pretty easy to implement too. Getting reviewers people have heard of is a challenge, but you know those reviews you're constantly asking people for? Picking a few reviews from ordinary listeners that really seem to get what you're trying to do with your show could be a useful idea. (Protip: go for specific comments, like "I had no idea there were so many interesting things to learn about linguistics but now I can't get enough", over nonspecific endorsements that could be said about any show, like "omg this is the best ever" — while flattering, they don't tell a prospective listener very much.)

If you're at a later stage and looking for things that can level up the appearance of your website, I can't emphasize how much commissioning art for various UI elements made ours feel fancier. Also, link to several podcast listening platforms, more than just Apple Podcasts and Spotify. It's better for your show if your listeners aren't just tied to one app, because it insulates you somewhat from any one tech company's potential shenanigans.

Some other podcast websites we looked at while coming up with ours included Darknet Diaries (the best designed of the substantial podcast websites we encountered) and Gender Reveal (a good lightweight podcast website).

Step 10: The Thanks

With thanks to Julia Evans for extensive discussion of website desiderata, to Manish Goregaokar and Eaton for comments, and to Lauren Gawne, Liz McCullough, and Lucy Maddox for their work in making the thing!

If you enjoyed this incredibly long post about the implicit social functions of many website design elements, perhaps you’d be interested in the Lingthusiasm episodes on the implicit social functions of small talk or when people have different expectations around overlap. Or maybe you’d like this series on the implicit social functions of conferences and making virtual conferences more social.

#lingthusiasm #meta #podcasts #advice #websites

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callmemoprah · 7 years ago

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wordstoendanessay451 · 5 years ago

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welcometophu · 8 years ago

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Not Your Destiny: Chapter 30

Marked Book 1: Not Your Destiny

Chapter 30

[ Previous | First | Next ]

It’s all hands on deck at the shop on Wednesday morning. Insurance is still processing the cars, but the ones that are too damaged to be fixed have been hauled off the lot, and the ones that need detailing and cleaning have been towed to another place. Tony parks the Mustang in the empty back lot, and Ángel moves Helga into a nearby space until they can finish working on her.

Tanner and Hayley come in to help, along with Maritsa and Cleto. Zita is there while her children are at a program for a few hours, walking through and barking orders while Gabi writes everything down.

Tony’s shirt is smudged with soot as he scrubs down the walls, the water running dark. Maritsa works next to him, stopping to look at her fingernails.

“You’re lucky I get my nails done next week,” she mutters. “I am going to smell like smoke for my wedding. Which is in one week, thanks.”

“It’s not Tony’s fault someone lit the shop on fire,” Cleto reminds her, moving in close while Tony moves several steps away.

Maritsa deflates, dips her sponge back into the bucket and wrings out soapy, dark water. “I know. But it’s terrible timing.”

Ángel bites his tongue, because this isn’t the moment to ask if there’s any chance that Tía could be involved, or anyone else in Maritsa’s family. He still doesn’t want to think that any one of them would go this far to destroy what Maritsa has with the Mollicones. With the Lince.

“Ángel, I need you!” Gabi sings out, and he hurries away from the floor. As he slips into the office, she hands him a sponge and bucket. “We can rescue some of this. There’s a service coming in, but we need to be able to see what’s trashed and what can be done, and they’ll be redoing walls, pulling out the dead furniture, bringing in new.”

“I thought you didn’t have the settlement from insurance yet,” Ángel says.

“We don’t.” Zita sits on top of the one clean surface—Gabi’s desk—her legs crossed at the knee, a clipboard balanced there as she writes. “But we have money, and we’re paying for everything now and we’ll just put away the insurance money when we get it. I don’t want to wait to get our business open again, and I have a feeling this case will linger. Insurance will want to know more about the arson charges before they pay out.” She taps her pen against the edge of the clipboard. “They might pay the car owners first, but for us, they want proof that we didn’t torch the place on our own.”

“You’d think that with how much effort we’re putting into bringing it back to life, they’d get the idea that it’s not our fault,” Gabi mutters, scrubbing at the top of a file cabinet. “But no, apparently they think we might’ve let it all go up in smoke to get improved equipment. But we liked our setup. And the computer’s fine, and that’s honestly the one thing I would’ve liked to replace.”

“We’ll replace it anyway,” Zita says quietly. “I’ll just get that new system we were talking about, and it’ll take you some time to transfer the records. It’ll be worth it.”

“How were the paper records when you went through them?” Ángel gestures at the empty file cabinets, then starts scrubbing at his own desk.

Not his desk. The desk he’s been using, and it’s probably Zita’s desk normally. Or Tony’s, or maybe Maritsa’s. Someone else’s desk.

It feels like his desk by now, though. He reaches down, opens a drawer and looks in.

“Did you leave clothes here?” Zita asks, leaning over to look.

Ángel shakes his head. “Never really got around to it, although I should’ve. Glad I didn’t.”

Gabi snorts softly. “I love the idea that you leave clothes everywhere we are. Like you can’t resist undressing around us.”

His cheeks go hot, and he doesn’t want to go down that road, not when he wouldn’t just be talking about temporary tats with Gabi, or cleaning up with Luca. “The records?” he asks again.

“Smoky, but pretty much everything survived,” Gabi says. “The fire burned out the drawer we keep spare shirts in, then seemed to stop before it got to the records in the drawer above it. The food that Luca stored in the cabinets for snacks ended up disgusting and I already tossed it on Monday. But we can bring back the history.” She smacks the top of the filing cabinet, black water running down the side. “These aren’t burnt, but… I think I’d rather replace them, Zita.”

“Noted.” Zita kicks her heel against the desk. “Clean these out. I’m bringing in all new furniture. The cleaning crew will be starting in here tonight, and they’ll work through the weekend in order to get the place back to us as soon as possible.”

She sets the pen down, leans back on her hands and looks at the walls. “I’m having them gut the place,” she says quietly. “Redoing the walls, priming everything to get rid of the smell. They’re going to be working quickly, but they said they can do it. Some of the equipment is going to make it out, and we’re cleaning what we can before it’s scrapped or donated. It’s up to us to get everything as good as we can tonight, before they come in to get started. You guys will be doing work out back tomorrow, if we have anything come in.”

“We don’t have a tow truck,” Ángel points out. “We don’t have a way to get anything back here.”

“I’m hoping to borrow one for a few days,” Zita says, her tone bland. “Calling in a favor, if they can manage to spare it. I’ve already made plans to pick a new one up next week.”

“We should get two.” When Zita glares at her, Gabi spreads her hands. “What? There have been so many times when I could’ve sent out two different calls. One for road repairs, one to haul someone in. Things get backed up with only one person on call. If it takes two hours for a road repair, that’s someone sitting around waiting for that long if they’re next in line, or it’s business lost if they call somewhere else.”

Zita huffs and makes a note. “You have a point.”

“Of course I do. This is my place too.” Gabi smiles, pleased with herself, and winks at Ángel.

“I’m not going to be around to go out for you after next week,” he reminds her. “I have to go back to school.”

“Pfft.” Gabi waves away his protest. “You’ll be back for break. Should I expect to see you in March for spring break, or do we have to wait for summer? Send me your finals schedule so I know when you’ll be in and I can get you on the board for work.”

“What if I—”

“You’ll be back,” she says, like that’s that.

Ángel had been thinking about doing research. Finding a project he could work on with Hayley, combining Chemistry, Physics, and Magical Studies, or branching out into something else. But he’d planned on staying on PHU campus, working there. Not coming back to Florida.

His gaze drifts to the door, and Gabi makes a small noise.

Fine, she may have a point.

“Hey, do you need anything?” Tanner pokes his head in, waves a piece of paper. “Luca gave me a list, and Hayley and I are going to go pick up Emerson and then stop at the store.”

Gabi coughs.

Fine. She may have multiple points, and Ángel will probably be back next summer, with Hayley. He rolls his eyes and doesn’t bother to say it, though.

Zita slides off the desk, flips pages on her notepad, and starts listing items off for Tanner. Most of them are cleaning supplies, as well as paper, coffee supplies, and other things to take back to the house for now, along with a fresh stock of plain white t-shirts. Ángel notices that Luca’s snacks go on the list, along with stopping off at the office supply store to order Gabi’s computer and a new printer. Zita picks up the office phone, plugs the cable back in.

“Keep the phone,” Gabi says. “It’s been covered in fingerprints and oil all along. We’ll wipe it down, and a little soot will remind us that we’re not immortal.”

Tanner’s brow furrows. “Do you really need a reminder?”

Gabi and Zita glance at each other. “Sometimes we need a reminder that we’re not idiots when we try to be careful,” Zita says slowly. She picks up her purse, pulls a card from her wallet and hands it to Tanner along with two paint samples with colors circled and numbers written. “Pick up the paint while you’re out, too. Hopefully we’ll be starting that on Monday, so you might as well get it now.”

“Do you need help?” Ángel offers, and for a moment Tanner looks like he considers it.

Then he grins and shakes his head. “Nah, Hayley and I have got this. Emerson’s doing well, and we’ll get it all done and be back in a couple of hours.”

“I’m bringing food in for a picnic out back,” Zita offers, and Tanner’s expression clouds.

“Can’t,” he says. “Martin/Cruz dinner tonight.”

Oh, shit. Ángel forgot about that.

Tanner knocks into Ángel. “I’ll take you home, unless someone else is giving you a ride after we’re all done here. But thanks for the offer, Zita. If we didn’t have a family thing, we’d love to eat here.”

Zita waves him off. “Go. Get things done so you can get back and not be late for your family dinner.”

Gabi tilts her head, frowns slightly. “Ángel, why don’t you go out back and get started cleaning up.”

He thinks about offering to stay, but Gabi nods at the door, and Ángel takes the chance for escape. He walks Tanner out, gives Hayley a hug before they head off, then walks to the back and out.

Tony’s already there, a broom in hand, pushing at debris. He glances up as Ángel lets the door swing closed behind him, then straightens up, leaning on the broom. “What are you doing out here?”

“Gabi sent me.” Ángel looks around for another broom, and failing to find that, grabs a pair of work gloves and puts those on instead. He hauls over one of the trash bins and starts picking up debris to put in it. “She and Zita have everything under control in the office. I was just getting in the way.”

“Mm.” Tony starts sweeping again, pushing the largest of the mess toward Ángel while piling up the dust and dirt and ash in a separate space. They work in silence for a time, until Tony stops, leaning the broom against Helga so he can pull of his shirt, use it to wipe the sweat from his face.

Ángel takes the moment to lean against Helga’s bumper, patting her. “What are we going to do about Helga?” he asks quietly. “She still needs to be fixed. Did the parts go up in smoke?”

“I’ve got what I need to finish up with her,” Tony says. “We’ll get her back on the road before it’s time for you to leave.”

“It’s not that long.” It’s hard to think about that way, that the wedding is only a week away, which means Ángel and Hayley will be driving back to PHU the weekend after. So much has happened in the time since they came home. Angel’s pretty sure his life will never be the same.

“Yeah.” Tony balls up his shirt, stalks to the door. “I need to get a change of clothes.”

“There’s nothing clean in—” Angel’s voice trails off as the door bangs closed behind Tony. “Everything’s covered in ash, and it’s not like I mind seeing your naked chest,” he mutters under his breath. “But hey, run away while we’re talking. Because that went well.”

Ángel strips off the gloves, drops them on Helga’s hood. His car’s in good shape, relatively speaking. As good as the Mustang maybe—they’re both functional and not damaged by fire. Of course, they never finished the motor for the Mustang’s top, so they’d better get a new cover for it.

He walks over, runs his hand along the edge of the door. He flinches when the door to the building slams closed, turns slowly to see Tony walking toward him. Tony nods at the Mustang, and Ángel doesn’t wait for a second invitation; he opens the door and climbs in, settling into the driver’s seat.

Tony slips into the passenger seat, sinks down with his head tilted back.

Ángel lets his hands fall on the steering wheel, slides them along the pebbled surface.

“You’re not driving my ‘stang again right now,” Tony murmurs. He has one hand across his eyes, keeping the sun out.

“Didn’t plan on it.” Ángel drops his hands, crosses them to keep himself from touching anything else. “It’s just a clean place to sit.”

Tony tilts his head, gaze dropping from Angel’s head to where he sits. “I should tell you to go clean up before you sit in here.”

“You’re still shirtless and your jeans are a mess,” Ángel counters.

“My car, my rules.” Tony inhales, lets it out slow and even. “Let’s just sit still for a while. Where it’s quiet.”

The silence doesn’t last long before Angel’s phone buzzes. He glances at Tony, and Tony looks down at his hand, raises an eyebrow. Ángel takes that as an invitation to interrupt the quiet and pulls his phone out, frowns as he sees the message from Hayley.

Tony’s friend Daphne is at the store.

This might not be something to share with Tony. I wouldn’t exactly call her a friend, he sends back.

Girlfriend, Hayley sends. She’s talking to Tanner and Emerson about Emerson’s Talent. She’s being really nice.

She is NOT NICE. Ángel wants to make sure Hayley gets the point. She’s met Daphne, even if it was briefly. More than once, Ángel thinks. He starts typing, but doesn’t get to finish the thought before Hayley replies and Ángel sits upright, staring at the screen.

She’s got loads of ideas and knows a guy that Emerson can talk to. Someone who might be able to help with the seizures.

Tony’s shoulder presses against his. “She?” he asks, and Ángel just scrolls down to show him the earlier piece of the conversation, feels the way Tony goes tense against him. “Tell her it’s a bad idea,” Tony orders.

“I’ve been trying, believe me. I don’t like Daphne.” He looks over at Tony briefly. “Sorry.”

Take the names if you want but don’t take her advice. Daphne’s NOT NICE. She’s not even nice to Tony and they’re dating. Still. I think.

Tony doesn’t offer clarification before Ángel presses send.

Tanner’s listening, but Emerson keeps trying to step backwards. I don’t think he trusts her. And if you don’t trust her, I don’t trust her.

Ángel breathes more easily after that text. Good, he sends back. Good instinct. Don’t trust her. Pretend and get rid of her. Talk to Tanner later, okay?

I will, Hayley promises, and the phone goes silent. Ángel drops it on the seat, moving his hand when Tony picks it up to look at the conversation.

Tony blinks, then hands the phone back to Ángel again. “Sorry, shouldn’t have taken that without asking.”

“Well, it’s not like you thought I’d be talking about you,” Ángel mutters, face heated.

“No, it’s true. I told you before: she’s not a nice person, although she thinks she is.” Tony leans back, head tilted so he stares up at the sky, hand resting in the space between them. “And she hasn’t exactly been nice to me for a long time. In her defense, I haven’t been putting much into the relationship, either. I’m pretty sure she can tell. I did cut her out for New Year’s Eve.”

“You broke up with her,” Ángel points out. “Why didn’t you just stay apart?”

“It’s complicated. We’ve been together a long time.” Tony’s mouth thins. He lifts his hand slowly, crosses his arms, shoulders bunching with the movement. “Like I said, we got together young. There’s a lot of history, a lot of things we’ve been through together.”

Ángel reaches before thinking, touches Tony’s forearm. He pulls back when Tony flinches, but Tony shakes his head.

“It’s okay,” Tony says, and Ángel flattens his hand, curls around Tony’s warm skin.

“Why do you keep going back?” he asks.

“How do you feel about Hayley and Tanner?” Tony asks in return, rather than denying that he does keep going back.

Angel frowns. “What does that have to do with anything?” he asks. When Tony gestures, Ángel sifts through his feelings, tries to find a way to put it. “Fine. I uh….” He tries to make sense of it, mouth twisting in frustration as he thinks. “I still love her. I mean, I probably always will, and we’re going to be friends forever—which I’m pretty sure is different from you and Daphne.”

Tony doesn’t deny it, just stares up at the sky.

“But I’m not hurt about her and Tanner anymore,” Ángel admits. “I’ve moved on. Mentally, I mean. I want her and Tanner happy, and I’ll be there to support her, and I really hope they work out because I think the magic had the right idea.”

“Do you think it’s forcing them?”

Ángel twists in the seat, hand against Tony’s chest as he shakes his head. “No, not at all. It can’t. It’s not a love spell, it’s just a way of bringing out what’s already there. Or I guess in this case what has potential to be there. But it can’t make them fall in love; they either will or they won’t, no matter whether the magic sees something perfect between them or not.”

“Did it scare you?”

It’s a strange question, and Ángel can’t read anything behind the mask Tony seems to wear, quiet and still. “Did it—maybe? I thought I knew exactly where my life was going, and suddenly it just… wasn’t. Suddenly everything shifted sideways and I was left feeling like the ground wasn’t even stable under my feet. And when I first found out, if I could’ve just gone back in time and had it all the stay the way it was, I probably would’ve. I knew how things worked then, with Hayley as my girlfriend, and Tanner as my best friend, and it all made sense. And for a little while there, nothing made sense, so yeah. I was angry, but maybe a little scared, too.”

Tony nods, licks his lips thoughtfully. “That,” he says slowly. “You were with Hayley for what, two years? I was with Daphne for eleven. And the first few were good. I mean, we had a few hiccups, but overall, they were really good. I’ve been with her since I was in high school, and even if it wasn’t perfect, I knew where I was going. Eventually. I wasn’t rushing to get anywhere, and when she started pushing, it felt—it felt like she was trying to force something that wasn’t actually there. That I knew wasn’t there, and maybe I’d known it for a while, and something—”

“What?” Ángel asks, when Tony just stops talking.

Tony inhales, holds it for a long moment before it slips out slowly. “Something made me look at things differently. And that terrified me.”

“Oh.” Ángel rubs at his wrist, realizes that Tony’s looking at him now, not the sky. He can feel the weight of Tony’s gaze, the strength of his regard, and Ángel looks away. “Maybe it’s time to break up with her again. Or stay broken up,” Ángel suggests quietly. “If she’s not good for you.”

“Maybe,” Tony agrees. He sits up, leans forward with his elbows on his knees, palms up and ink in view.

Ángel flattens his palm over his own ink, covering the cat from view. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

Tony arches an eyebrow. “This wasn’t personal?”

Heat floods Angel’s cheeks. “Different kind of personal. Just for personal reference. Obviously you’re attracted to women—you’ve been dating one for more than a decade. Are you attracted to men at all?”

“You want to know if I’m bi?” Tony asks.

Ángel manages to nod, then Tony’s hand is on his cheek. Ángel goes absolutely still as Tony leans forward, mouth warm and lips chapped as he kisses Ángel. Time slows down, Angel’s heart thundering in his chest as his mouth opens slightly, invites the kiss deeper.

Electricity sparks and flickers explode around them, the Mustang starting with a violent rumble.

Tony pulls back abruptly, eyes wide. “Shit.”

“I didn’t mean to.” Ángel reaches for the steering column, sends another shock to stop the car, but it’s too late.

Tony’s already out of the car, the door slamming in his wake. He’s gone before Ángel can call out, stalking across the lot and into the shop, the door falling closed with a thunk.

Fuck.

Ángel slumps back into the seat, slides down until his knees are bent and squeezed under the steering column, and he can barely see over the edge of the door. Maybe he can just stay here for a while, at least until he has to go home. Because he’s sure as hell not chasing Tony inside, not after that exit.

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#welcome to phu #welcometophu #not your destiny #phu marked #marked

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rue-by-another-name · 8 years ago

Text

“Rum & Coconuts” - h.s. Part 5

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

-----

You felt like it was back when Harry was touring for months and you could hardly talk to him, let alone know where he was. But this time around, you were running a business and you knew that while you were slaving over paperwork and getting paper cuts and paint on more of your clothes, Harry was probably just sitting around writing or swimming in the ocean or drinking and that made you a little mad and jealous but also made you focus more.

Savie was over the fucking moon, of course, because she and Beau were together and he was visiting her for a little while and sticking around as he worked on his next exhibit.

“Artists really can live anywhere as long as they have space to work,” Savie told you as you flipped through some design books. Your office had never been more messy and stocked in your life as you surrounded yourself with work and threw yourself into it to fill the void in Harry’s absence.

“Uh huh,” you mumbled, attempting to listen while also looking for the perfect red leather couch - preferably a darker maroon.

Mr. Euing was over the moon as well with your dedication and hard work after your vacation. The meeting he'd had with you all before about stepping up your game and really investing yourself so that others would then invest their money seemed to be the right way, as you were collecting more clients and gaining more attention.

It probably also helped that Liam enlisted you to design his son’s nursery and then flaunted it ... but you also liked to believe it was because of all your hard work.

“You’re not even listening to me,” Savie whined. She was pinning swatches to one of the boards in your office and you looked up from where you were sitting on the ground surrounded by literally a circle of books.

“I’m listening,” you nodded, “He’s an artist and works everywhere.”

Savie nodded and smiled happily, “I know you and Harry tried to set us up on purpose,” she waggled her finger at you, “And though I don’t condone meddling, I’m very happy you did this one time.”

“Operation Rum & Coconuts was a success,” you mumbled, biting your nail and going back down to search through inventory books.

“Stop it!” Savie cried, kneeling down and yanking your hand from your mouth. “You stopped biting your nails freshmen year. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

You looked down at your completely gone nails, shrugging as you reached for your coffee mug. “I don’t know.”

In reality, it was probably because Harry was gone. You hated to admit it, but you and Harry had grown together so much that you forgot all the goodness he brought out in you. You could only hope, not to sound full of yourself, but that Harry wasn’t going back to any of his old habits as well with your absence.

But he had a distraction with his album. And though you were bringing work home every night to keep yourself busy and attending dinners with Savie and Beau regularly, you still found yourself missing something whenever you walked into the large house you and Harry owned.

Sitting on the couch, you held the wine glass up to your chin and just stared at the fire place before you. It was quiet, ridiculously quiet, and something urged you to get up and start shifting through the entire cabinet of records you and Harry had collected over the years.

The sound of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band started playing throughout the living room, and you swayed slightly to the album as you recalled the times Harry had played this and swayed with you, singing the words softly as you sang along.

The music sparked something in you as you felt the chords move through you. You were jumping around on your toes as your hair swung around you and your own lonely heart bled onto the floor. You and Harry had worked hard on this house and you’d worked so hard to fit the aesthetic of what Harry had told you about once and you hadn’t forgotten. You’d worked to keep everything in the grey scale, but the idea of the warm feeling you’d once wished for in your own home with dark reds and oranges, rugs and candles started to seep into your thinking.

Scrambling to the kitchen, you found your phone in the bottom of your bag and texted Harry.

I’m redecorating our house.

You didn’t expect him to respond any time soon. You’d barely talked in the past two weeks since he’d been gone with just saying quick ‘I love you’s and ‘I miss you’s to keep you both stable.

Instead of waiting for the text back, you called Savie.

“It’s almost one in the morning,” Savie groaned, “What?”

“Do you remember that dream board I made about my house for that project I think sophomore year?” you asked, searching and tearing through your attic to find your old school boxes. “Do you have any idea where I put it?”

“What?”

“You know!” you cried, “That project I did about my dream house? With all the rugs and those rustic colors and the wood panel floors?”

“That’s why you’re calling me at one in the morning?”

“Yes! Obviously!”

“Are you drunk?”

“No!” Finally, your foot hit a box labeled Projects and you cried out in triumph. “Never mind!” you yelled, “I found it!”

“Jesus,” Savie grumbled, “Okay great. See you tomorrow.” She hung up promptly and you tore throughout the box until you found what you were looking for. It was all there - the color of the wood you’d want to use, the stain you’d use for the floors, patterns for the rugs you thought would correlate with one another and the paint swatches you’d want to make your different rooms. Lucky for you, sophomore year you had wanted to continue with the project and made way more rooms than she needed to so the fact that your house was now quite large between you and Harry wasn’t a problem.

You spent the rest of the night sorting through it and flipping through the design books you’d brought home with you. The two clients you were working on right now had pink and green tabs, but it was the orange ones that you kept for your own designs and labeled up a storm where you would be getting everything from.

It was around four in the morning when you finally heard your phone buzz and noticed the notification from Harry.

Just don’t burn down the house.

You couldn’t help but smile as you stood up on the chair above the floor where you had sprawled everything out from swatches to material samples and pages upon pages of books. You took a quick pictures, captivating the mess, and sent it back to Harry with no words.

Swinging in a hammock and cradling a guitar, Harry was surprised by your immediate response. He pouted, looking at his watch that was on your time, and rolled his eyes. Insomnia had been a big issue for you in uni, and if you were reverting back to those ways then he would seriously have to fly home and basically snuggle you to sleep forcefully.

But the mess of the living room made him laugh as he noticed all the notes and tabs you had already started opening up. It didn’t stop him though from what he texted back.

Go to sleep. It’s late and you have work tomorrow.

And with that, not because he wasn’t worried for you, but because he couldn’t allow himself right now to worry about you and knew you would take care of yourself, he put his phone on airplane mode and went back to the guitar currently infuriating him.

He’d be lying if he said that his music didn’t constantly bring him back to you. It made him wonder what you were doing, wonder if you were okay, wonder what it felt like sleeping in such a large bed with only yourself. He worried about you constantly, but not in a way that he didn’t trust you - more so in a way that he just worried that you would get bored of waiting around for him. Or, his greatest fear, that you wouldn’t be wearing that goddamn string around your finger when he got back.

He trusted you though, and he loved you immensely, and so he knew you were going to be okay. The fact that you were supporting this crazy endeavor for him at all made his heart swell and eyes water just thinking about it. You were the greatest thing in all his life, besides his mum of course, but also kind of greater than his mum because he just fucking loved you so much.

Not that he would ever tell you that considering you’d just laugh and poke his cheek and coo at him like a child - or burst into tears. Both of which he was a bit afraid to handle.

You did end up getting to sleep, but you woke up not four hours later with the motivation through get through the day and work as hard as you could only to get home and tear out some carpet and pack up some boxes of books so you could get rid of some of the modern looking bookcases.

It was a Saturday, a day off work, that you dragged Savie along with you to an antique store to start looking for some more furniture. You didn’t want everything to match. You were tired of the sleek modern feel your empty and large house was putting off, and you were ready to find some fun and different pieces to include in your new, warmer and eclectic feel.

“I just don’t understand,” Savie said suspiciously, “You’re telling me that you’re redoing that entire house? The place is fucking huge.”

“I can do it,” you said, placing a stained glass lamp in your cart as Savie pulled the larger push trolley behind you with a mahogany nightstand and other assorted furniture pieces. You’d found a large velvet dark mustard chair the other day and you could see Harry sitting in it so clearly you’d bought it right on the spot. The wooden feet even were curled like a lion’s foot and that was like furniture porn to you.

“I just don’t want you to overwork yourself,” Savie groaned as she heavily pushed the trolley. “You’re already working so hard during the day. And you’re telling me that you move around furniture all night on your own?”

“I have some of the moving crew already take out all the furniture. I’m going to repurpose it for the company. We can sell these pieces for future employers so it’s now all down in the warehouse.”

Your dress snagged on a candle wick and Savie was quick to get it undone before you broke something and had to pay for it.

“I need some more artwork too,” you mumbled as you chewed your bottom lip, “I want to line the walls with rich golden frames filled with art.”

Savie ran a hand over her face and groaned, “Who are you?”

“My house has to match my record player,” you said simply, “Easy as that.”

And as the weeks went by, your house slowly evolved into something you’d once dreamed. You found a plush dark brown leather couch slightly worn with crystal beads at the end of each arm. Rugs covered the floors and your bedroom had completely been transitioned into a more warm and comfortable atmosphere.

You placed Harry’s fedora on one of the fancy cast iron hooks you’d found and it just seemed to all fit into place. This was a home Harry would definitely come home to.

The painting was the most fun. Beau and Savie came over and helped you roll the paint on all the walls. There were dark burnt reds and oranges, as well as painting your parlor with a darker off-white and exposing some of the brick for character. You painted your kitchen a dark forest green with blue details and hung artwork all throughout the house.

You started falling asleep at work though, and that was when Savie had had enough. She stormed into your office, crossing her arms as she glared down at you.

“I’m going to call Harry and tell him that you’re endangering your health and that he needs to come home,” Savie declared. She looked slightly scary with her dark makeup and her outfit of the day, so you were quick to sit up straight and pay attention.

“What? No!” you cried, “No he’s doing fine! I’m fine! Don’t call him!”

“Then pull yourself together!” Savie cried, “You can’t keep beating yourself up over your house because it feels empty! This is going to go away. Harry is going to come back with an album and he’ll be busy and you’ll need to be there to support him and you can’t be tired like this! You also need to put your company first!”

“I’m sorry,” you groaned, leaning back in your chair and rubbing your face. “I’m just so antsy I don’t know what to do with myself. I want him home so badly but I also don’t want him to come home because it means I’ve failed him in being the supportive girlfriend I know I need to be. I want him to do well. I want him to succeed.”

“We all do,” Savie said softly, sinking down in the chair across from you and offering her hand. “But by redecorating and not sleeping while working yourself to death isn’t what he’s going to want to come back to, right?”

“Right,” you nodded. You fiddled with the string on your ring finger as you let out a long breath. “He told me we’d get married when he got back.”

Savie’s eyes widened as he raised her eyebrows at you, “And?”

“And what?”

“And how do you feel about that?”

“Well obviously that’s what I want,” you scoffed, “I’ve only been freaking out about it for ages and now it’s finally going to happen.”

“Then why are you bringing it up?” Savie asked, “Second thoughts?”

“I’m not having second thoughts about the marriage proposal or the idea of marrying Harry one day,” you shook your head, “That’s what I want. That’s all I’ve ever wanted since falling in love with him.”

“But?”

“Why do you think there has to be a but?”

“Because there always is,” Savie shrugged, “What’s going on love?” You thought for a moment and tugged at the hem of your dress as you crossed your legs.

“He’s going to be so busy,” you finally admitted, “He’s going to be all over the place again and touring maybe and promoting the album. He’s going to be back, yeah, but he’s not going to be around.”

You sniffled slightly and shrugged. “I’ve been so spoiled with him spending so much time at home and hanging around with nothing to do. I feel selfish that I wish we could go back to that for a little while.”

Savie just nodded, allowing you to vent and talk as she handed you a tissue.

“I feel so selfish for missing him so much,” you cried, “It’s only been a month and we’re halfway there but I don’t have a definitive date for when he’s coming back. He’ll come back whenever he finishes the album and no one has any control over that.”

“You and Harry are so strong together and that’s great,” Savie started, “But what’s even better about the two of you is that you’re strong apart as well. Look at you love! You’re running a fucking business and have some high end clients who count on you to basically design their lives. You design what people come home to at the end of the day. And for Harry, you don’t have to recreate your entire house or buy thousands of throw pillows for your patio.”

You couldn’t help but laugh as you wiped the tears away with the tissue and Savie squeezed your arm. “Because all Harry wants to come home to is you, regardless if you’re in a beautiful Bohemian mansion or a cardboard box.”

The thought made you smile as you nodded, closing some of your design books as you pressed your intercom to your secretary. “Hey Josh, just wanted to let you know I will be taking the rest of the day off, okay? Please cancel any meetings and reschedule them for me?”

“Sure thing,” Josh said before giving you a thumbs up through the glass. You turned to Savie and let out a long breath.

“I’m going to go and sleep the rest of the day,” you decided, “And I’m going to order some takeaway.”

“Perfect,” Savie smiled as you both stood and you gave her a hug.

“Thanks for keeping me in check,” you chuckled before Savie gave you a kiss on the cheek and you collected your things to go home. To think that you had completely redesigned your house in a little over a month was absolutely ridiculous. Savie was right, that you really needed to take a break and recuperate.

But there was something so calming about walking through your front door and seeing a warm and inviting one of a kind house. The antique store had been generous to you, and you’d found pieces you felt had belonged in your life all along. The new curtains in your bedroom didn’t completely block out the sun, and you appreciated feeling the sunset across your body as you slowly fell asleep for a well-deserved nap.

In the remaining time that Harry was absent from your life, you started playing music way more. You played every record in your collection and you sang and danced along to all of it. It reminded you of when you and Harry bought the place and would play music almost constantly. Somewhere along the way, you’d stopped that.

But not anymore, as your evenings were filled with a random assortment of throwback music. You also started cooking more now that Harry wasn’t around to make everything perfect. You experimented with different foods - some successes and others not. You found yourself walking around the house in only a thong way more often than every before mostly just because you could, and you also stopped bringing home work.

Your work stayed at work, and when you got home this was your time to sit back and relax. You started reading more and watched all the movies and Netflix series that you’d been putting off. You noticed the rom-coms Harry was watching on his account and that made you laugh. You also laughed when you got a text from Harry saying:

Disappointed you’re watching Stranger Things without me. Rude.

You knew he was probably doing well, and you never wanted to ask him how he was because you were afraid it would ruin whatever mojo he had going on. But you were always thinking about him, just as he was always thinking about you as well, and you knew that whatever he was doing, he was enjoying it and good things would come from it - whatever they were.

You were jogging across the street to meet Savie for lunch when you realized that the two months were almost up. Not long ago had you been running through the exact same weather - stupidly rainy of course - to meet Savie and Harry for lunch before your vacation.

Savie was already sitting in your usual booth and sipping from a teacup as she waved you over. “Why do you look like one of those high end fashion mums that always has her shit together because her nanny does everything for her kids?” she asked, looking you up and down.

“Our professional styles are very different and I’m not going to try and defend myself to you because you will find some fault in it,” you chuckled, sliding into the booth and flipping through the menu.

“So I need to talk to you about something,” Savie bit her lip as she put her teacup down and cleared her throat.

“This sounds serious,” you chuckled. “What’s going on?”

“Well ... Beau and I were talking and he’s going to go back to Paris soon. He wants to open a permanent gallery there and he’d like me to help. I do have a degree in art, you know. And well, designing spaces is kind of my thing.”

“Right ...” you nodded, “So what you’re saying is ...?”

“I’m going to move to Paris with Beau?” Savie squinted cautiously. “I know that this means you’d lose me at the company and that would kind of suck considering we’ve been together since day one, but I just feel like this is the right move, you know? I really love Beau and I feel we could start a life together. If this is the first step, then I want to take it.”

“Savie,” you cooed and reached across the booth to hold her hands in yours, “Of course I want what’s best for you! I’m sad to see you go and I’m going to miss you unmeasurably, but I want you to do what feels right! I’m happy for you.”

Savie smiled, “I knew you would understand, but it’s still bittersweet. I’m leaving one person I love for another.”

“You’re always going to have me,” you smiled, “And you can come back and visit and stay in my new fancy guest room with the fun crystal lamp that lights up like a disco ball whenever you want.”

“I cannot believe you bought that thing,” Savie laughed, “But okay. Deal. And we won’t be leaving for a couple more months but I just wanted to obviously give you a heads up.”

“Of course,” you nodded, “Congrats babe. I’m really happy for you.”

“Thank you,” Savie blushed, “You and Harry will finally be free of my third-wheeling.”

“And we can still go on some double dates when he gets back before you leave,” you nodded, “Win-win.”

You were in the shower the first time your phone rang, and then the second call you missed was because you didn’t want to slip and kill yourself on the marble floor to get to your phone so you let it ring. You’d been talking on the phone a lot with your parents lately since you had the time, and you hadn’t called your mum yet that day so she was probably going to get feisty with you - even if it was super late at night. This was your mother of course.

But when you finally got dressed in a big comfy t-shirt, your heart nearly stopped when you noticed you had two missed calls from Harry. It was nearly two in the morning and you knew Harry was well aware of your time, so something had to be wrong.

You instantly called back, breathing heavily as you sat down on your bed and nibbled your fingernails until Harry answered. “Angel,” he croaked.

“Harry? H, what’s wrong?” you asked, “Are you okay?”

“I know it’s late,” he sniffled, “I’m sorry for calling. Were you sleeping? I hope you were sleeping.”

“I was in the shower,” you admitted, “I’m sorry. What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Though the call was potentially under duress, it was still so good to hear his voice. You hadn’t heard his voice in so long, and you had to close your eyes and let out a long breath in order to keep yourself from completely losing it.

“I miss you,” Harry breathed, “Fuck, angel, I miss you so much babe.”

“I miss you too,” you said, “But Harry, you’re supposed to be working on your album. What’s wrong love?”

“We’ve been in a rut,” Harry admitted, “We think we’re doing such great things but I’m writing all this bullshit and I don't even know if it’s me. I have lyrics but what if the tune is wrong? What if I’m not presenting the correct image, you know?”

“I’m sure you’re doing great babe. You’re working hard,” you said softly, “People are going to recognize that.”

“I don’t even know who I am,” Harry croaked, “An artist making music without an image,” he laughed sadly, “Who am I kidding?”

“You know who you are,” you said quickly, “You know exactly who you are.”

“You know who I am,” Harry sniffled, “You’ve always known who I am and I’ve never been able to pull myself together enough. You hold me at such a high standard. I try so hard for you to be the person you want me to be, but I’m just a guy down in Jamaica pissing away the hours and trying to write music.”

“You’re writing an album,” you corrected him, “And you’re more of a man than I ever could have asked for. I know who you are because you’re part of me and I know that you’re always going to keep that part of me protected, no matter what.”

“I’ll protect all of ya,” Harry croaked, “Always.”

“I know,” you whispered, “I’ve always known.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Harry admitted, “Something isn’t clicking.”

“You’re having a breakdown because you’re in a rut?” you asked, sitting up straight and shaking your head, “I won’t accept that Harry Styles. You said it yourself, you’re an artist, and you get to establish whoever you are right now, do you understand me?”

“Love, I ...”

“I’ve been listening to our old records,” you told him, “I’m just going to talk and you listen, okay?”

You knew what was going on. Harry was having a slight anxiety attack and the best way to get him to calm back down was just to talk. You’d soothed Harry on countless occasions when he’d been stressed before during the band years, and you were capable of doing again. This wasn’t the first stressed call you’d received late at night.

“Okay,” Harry whispered, “Okay.”

“I’ve been listening to our old records again. I play them all throughout the house and our house is so beautiful, Harry. I’ve made it something so unique and original - something very much me and you. There’s pieces of you everywhere from this large yellow chair I found to this little fancy teapot with a small dent in it. I started redecorating our house because I was lonely and scared of being along and I just felt so exposed. So I dove into the one thing I knew how to distract myself and nearly killed myself over trying to work on this huge grand project all on my own. But Savie told me something so important and it was that I’m in the business of creating things for people to come home to and feel at home. But I don’t have to work hard to create something for you to come home to that you’ll want to return to at the end of the day because you already have me, and I’m all you really need, right?”

There was a pause on the other end and you could hear Harry’s slow breathing as he hummed in agreement, “You’re all I need,” he whispered.

“Well you’re all I need too. I don’t care what your music sounds like or if you talk about another girl you saw on the sidewalk. I don’t care what the album looks like or even if you swear in the lyrics. I don’t care because all I know is that you’re going to work hard on it and it’s going to be amazing and it’s going to be you. And all I need is you.”

You heard Harry sniffle as you held the phone so impossibly close, as if you were trying to absorb Harry just by listening to his breathing. “Are you sleeping okay?” he asked after a moment, “You’ve been up late.”

“I’m just fine,” you nodded, “All’s well. I took the day off the other day and slept all day.”

“Are you still having bouts of insomnia though?” he asked, “Are you drinking enough? God, I wish I was there to take care of you and just look after you and hold an umbrella for you in the rain.”

“I’m so good, Harry. Really, I’m so happy. I’m so happy for you and everything you’re accomplishing and I miss you so, so much but I’m so happy with what you’re doing.”

“I can’t believe you’re letting me do this,” Harry breathed, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

You were both quiet for a moment, just enjoying the sound of each other’s breathing so close to your face as you ran your finger along the threading of your duvet.

“Baby?” Harry croaked, “Are you still there?”

“I’m always here,” you said softly, “You know that.”

“M’gonna be home to ya soon,” he whispered, “So soon.”

“I can’t wait,” you hummed, “I miss you so much.”

“God I miss you. I miss everything about you. Running with you in the mornings with you little jackets and tank tops and those spandex you wear. And I miss the coffee you make and how the whole house smells like coffee. I miss the way you hips wiggle when you get excited and sing along to music. Shit, baby I miss you so much.”

“I miss everything about you,” you admitted, “I miss the life you bring to our house and everything around you. I’m excited for you to come home.”

“M’gonna be gone a lot m’afraid,” Harry sighed, “‘Fraid I’ll be working a lot.”

You nibbled your lips before mumbling, “I know. I’m okay.”

“Can come with me whenever you want,” Harry breathed, “Whenever you want.”

“We can talk about it later,” you agreed, “You should get back to work. The more work you get done now, the quicker you can come home, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll see you soon, Harry,” you whispered, “I’m going to go to sleep now.”

“I love you,” Harry said, “I’ll see you soon.”

“Love you too.” You tossed your phone to the side, demising the temptation to call back and just listen to him breathing. Playing with the string around your ring finger, you rolled it between your fingers as you thought of what it meant and what it would soon signify and that was enough to easily help you fall asleep.

There were no more phone calls and that was just fine with you. Hearing Harry’s voice had been so lovely, but it had also made everything just so much more real and in your face. You wanted him home and you wanted him home now. You missed the feeling of his eyes on you as you worked or the way you’d hear him move around somewhere else in the house as you woke up in the morning.

A couple more weeks passed and you were starting to get antsy. The two months were slowly coming to an end and you didn’t know the date Harry was coming home. It made your irritable at work, and you were doing your best to stay calm whenever something set you off merely because you were strung up and emotional.

“You really need to get laid,” Savie said as you sat at the bar with her Friday night. You were both still dressed for work, and you were nervous that Savie would spill her wine on her dress considering her no-fucks state. But considering it was just another from her endless white dress collection, you put the thought into the back of your mind.

“Oh wow thanks,” you rolled your eyes, “I’ll just call my boyfriend and ask him to stay at my place tonight. Maybe if we’re quiet then my roommate won’t hear us.”

“You two were never quiet,” Savie rolled her eyes, “Please, the night you both starting having sex was the end of all full night’s sleep for me.”

“Whatever,” you mumbled, “The point I’m trying to make is that I can’t fucking get laid now can I when my boyfriend is halfway across where-the-fuck-ever he is and we don’t talk more than one text a week.”

“Someone is getting far too salty for me to handle,” Savie chuckled as you took a swig of your beer. You didn’t even like beer that much so you had surprised both yourself and Savie when you’d ordered it.

“I should probably just go home,” you sighed, waving the bartender over to pay for your drink.

“And turn on that vibrator!” Savie cheered, raising her glass.

“You’re leaving soon then, right? Not fleeing the country fast enough,” you chuckled. Savie smiled at you as you kissed her cheek. “I’ll see ya tomorrow babe.”

“Sleep well,” Savie called after you, winking as she made an inappropriate motion as you flagged down a cab.

Your house was quiet as usual, and you hummed under your breath as you sorted through your mail, kicking off your shoes as you went towards the living room. You placed whatever record was already on and started it, swaying and bobbing your head as you placed the mail on the counter and attempted to unzip the back of your skirt.

You were struggling, groaning loudly in frustration when the sound of the door opening made you stop and freeze in your tracks. The thought of someone else being in the house with you was something so foreign by this time that you almost forgot other people had keys to your house. Had Savie followed you home?

But there was no mistaking the figure setting his bags down in the doorway. He was tanned and slimmed down a bit but his hair was still as wayward as always and the tropical shirt on his broad shoulders was one you’d remembered packing for your vacation ages ago.

It was Harry. It was so Harry, and you had been waiting for this moment for almost two months now yet here you were standing just staring at him with wide eyes as if you’d caught your first glance at the tooth fairy.

Harry looked up, his eyes wandering around the house as his mouth fell open a bit seeing the new decorations and layout. “Fucking -” he mumbled under his breath, a look of awe coming over his face before you finally made a slight move in the kitchen and his eyes fell on you.

“Um ... hello,” you said cautiously, almost in a shy manner. But just the glance of you had Harry tearing up, and he nearly collapsed as he got to you, engulfing you in his arms as you felt yourself tearing up as well. Harry was here and he was holding you and it had been so long but he smelled the same.

“God,” he cried, running his hands through your hair as your eyes fluttered closed at the feeling you’d missed. Tears fell from your eyes freely and Harry kissed them away before pressing his lips to yours fervently and roughly. His entire body was shaking, as was yours, and both of you were laughing through your tears as you got a good look at one another.

“Welcome home,” you cried, reaching up and just enjoying the feeling of his skin beneath yours as you brushed the hair from his forehead.

“It’s amazing,” Harry nodded, “You’re amazing. I love you.”

He leaned forward and kissed you again, his lips slowly moving against yours now as you both just nearly consumed one another. He jerked away, reaching for your hand and you watched as his entire face fell, his shoulders slumped and he slowly landed with a thud on his knees in front of you when he noticed no string on your finger.

“Y/N,” he croaked, and his lower lips wobbled as he looked up at you with so much pain. “I don’t ... I -”

“Harry!” you couldn’t help but laugh as you held up the correct hand. The string was still there, washed a million times over as you’d never taken it off and it had had to have been knotted time and time again, but it was still there and Harry instantly just started sobbing.

“Oh my God,” he cried, grabbing your hand now and sitting back on his knees as he let out a long sigh of relief. “I felt like I was dying,” he admitted, “Nearly died right there.”

He rested his forehead on your thighs, his hands coming around to hold the back of your legs as you ran your fingers through your hair and stood before him, just allowing him to collect himself for a moment before he kissed your skin and looked up at you. “Angel,” he breathed, “S’what you are.”

“I try,” you chuckled. Harry stood now and you leaned against him, allowing yourself to mold against him as you just took in the feeling of him once more. “Here,” you pulled away and took his hand, “Let me take you on a tour.”

Harry couldn’t keep his hands off you as you led him through your house. Every room he was more in awe than the last time. “We lived here,” he mumbled, “We used to live here in this same house.” He recalled back to when you used to talk about your derma house and how you’d wished for it to be something so different and subtly authentic. He liked how you’d decorated everything in such a simple antique style. It wasn’t flashy - it was clean and homey and warm with a touch of color and intrigue. It was you, and it was him.

But what made him the happiest wasn’t the new record box stand or the fact that you’d found a legit mini juke box for your kitchen, it was the fact that you were happy and that’s what made him the happiest.

By the time you finally got to the bedroom, Harry suddenly had a flash of panic. “What did you do with all our clothes and stuff while you were changing everything?” he asked, chewing on his bottom lip as he walked over to the new mahogany dresser on his side of the bed.

“I just boxed it all up for a bit and then put it all back,” you shrugged and flopped down on the edge of your bed. “It’s all pretty much situated in the same place as everything else. Are you looking for something?”

“Do you remember that box where I keep all my journals?” Harry asked, “Wanna put my new ones in there.”

“Oh,” you bent down and pulled the dark wooden box from under your bed, handing it to Harry as he gave you a look of relief and kissed your forehead.

“Thank you love,” he mumbled, going over to his dresser and pulling out a journal you remembered from back when you’d first met. The old binding was nearly breaking and the light brown leather had been tarnished quite a long time ago from use. But Harry opened it nonetheless and flipped to the back where you remembered he’d bled over trying to sew in a tiny pocket.

“What are you looking for?” you asked, sitting back down on the edge of the bed and giving him some space. Harry flipped the journal upside down and something fell into his hand before he tossed the book aside and turned back to you.

“Made a promise,” he shrugged, sinking down to his knees in front of you and opening his hand, a ring sitting in his palm as clear as day. Your eyes widened and your lips parted in surprise.

“Harry,” you whispered as he held the ring up and took your hand, pulling at the string with his teeth before giving you a look as if asking for permission to put the ring on your finger. You nodded instantly, watching as Harry slid the ring onto your finger and kissed the back of your hand.

“How - what?” you gasped at the beautiful ring. It was unique and something far better than anything you’d ever pinned on your Pinterest board. “Harry,” you cried, “Oh it’s so gorgeous.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” he asked, leaning forward and pressing his lips to your forehead as he cradled your head in one hand, the other clasping your hand between your chests as he held you close. “Got that ring years ago.”

“No!” you laughed, “No you didn’t!”

Harry nodded, a cheeky smile on his face as he stood again, reaching for his old journal and flipping to one of the pages. “Look here.” He showed you the page, dated almost four years ago right around the time you and Harry had been dating for almost a year.

Today I bought a ring. I wonder how long I can hide it from her before she finds it. Kind of hope she does.

“Oh my gosh,” you covered your face with your hands as your cheeks flushed. “I can’t believe ...”

“What?”

“Well, that after all this time I’ve been freaking out wondering if you’d want to spend your life with me and here you were knowing you would,” you laughed, “You’re awful.”

“Gotta keep you guessing,” Harry winked, grasping your hands in his before pulling you to your feet. “You still wanna marry me?”

“Oh absolutely,” you nodded, reaching up and pressing your lips to his as you both kissed sweetly. When you pulled away, Harry tried to keep it in but he couldn’t help it as he yawned. Laughing, you rested your hand on his cheek, “Tired?”

“Exhausted,” Harry nodded.

He was asleep rather quickly too, curled up next to you nearly encompassing you in his limbs as you laid next to him and massaged his scalp until his breathing leveled out and he was deep in sleep. There was nothing better than the feel of his fingers digging into your skin in his sleep and his breath on your neck as you knew he was comfortable and home right by your side.

Right where he was meant to be.

-----

This was more of a filler between the next two upcoming parts. But I wanted to showcase a bit of the anxiety as the two of them were away from one another but also show the love and support and trust they have for one another. The next two parts will be fun, I think, and I’m hoping to have them written soon if you’re all still willing! Thanks for all the laughs and love!

Part 6 HERE

#harry styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles fan fic #harry fic #harry fan fic #harry one shot #harry imagine #harry styles fluff #harry fluff #rue_by_another_name

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topfygad · 6 years ago

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How to Apply for an Argentina Visa for Filipino Tourists or Visitors – I am Aileen

If you’ve been following my updates lately, you would know by now that I am soon going on my biggest adventure (yet): a trip to Antarctica! Of course, no single country or government owns Antarctica so visitors do not necessarily need visas to go there — however, if you’re sailing to this ‘White Continent’, most ships would depart from ports such as Argentina, Chile, Falkland Islands, New Zealand and South Africa. For my case, I’ll be sailing on an expedition with Hurtigruten that’s starting from Argentina, and as a Philippine passport-holder, I needed an Argentina visa.

Now… I gotta be frank: getting an Argentina visa has been the most difficult and most expensive tourist visa that I’ve ever applied and paid for (so far). But despite that fact, the process can be fast and hassle-free given the right preparation and know-how; so with my experience and knowledge, I hope this guide will help you get that visa ASAP should Argentina be in your upcoming travel plans!

But first, a disclaimer:

NO ONE can give you a guarantee on your Argentinian visa’s approval: not even a lawyer, a consultant, a travel agent, or an embassy employee. Anyone who says otherwise is most likely going to be a scammer. That being said, what I can offer you here is a comprehensive guide with helpful tips to increase your chances of getting that Argentina tourist visa.

Top photo of Iguazu Falls from Shutterstock.com.

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How to Apply for an Argentina Visa

Step 1: Determine the type of Argentina visa that you need to apply for . .

There are, of course, various types of Argentina visas out there that you can apply for: a visa for studying, a visa for business, a visa for being an Argentinian’s fiancé, etc.

For this particular guide though, I will only be discussing the requirements for a tourist visa since it’s an experience that I’ve gone through myself.

If, however, you have a different situation or purpose of visit, it’s best that you contact the Argentina embassy for more information and for the complete requirements via this email: [email protected]

Step 2: Prepare the required documents for your application . .

Depending on your circumstance, click the symbol ‘+‘ below to view the corresponding requirements for each section. Make sure that you have authentic, original, and complete documents at all times!

(A) Argentina Tourist Visa WITHOUT Any Guarantor/Sponsor

Philippine Passport. Other than providing your passport itself, you need to provide a photocopy of the information pages on A4 paper. Make sure as well that your passport is valid for 6 months beyond your intended travel date, it has your signature, and has at least two (2) blank pages. .

A duly accomplished Argentina Visa Application Form.

Print this Argentina Visa Application Form in A4 size.

Download the application form from here (it contains English translations on the 1st two pages because the form is in Spanish).

Properly fill the form with your information in CAPITAL LETTERS (even your email address).

Erasures are NOT allowed and you should also NOT write outside the boxes.

Put a long dash line “—” in all spaces that are not applicable to you.

Ensure that you have signed it with your signature. On this section, it will ask a date: this must be the date when you submit your requirements to the Embassy. It’s best to leave it blank just in case — otherwise, they will make you redo the form (which is still not a problem, but to save time, it’s preferable to be careful).

There are sections here that ask for your flight dates and hotel in Argentina…

This does NOT mean that you are required to book your airline and hotel beforehand because the embassy does not necessarily require applicants to book it before approval — as a standard, they only need proof of reservation first. That being said, for your flight, it’s best to acquire a reservation which can be done via an airline (directly) or with a travel agent. And in case you’re wondering where to look for the best flight deals, my go-to platforms are Momondo, Kayak, and Skyscanner.

Meanwhile, for hotel bookings, it’s best to do it with Booking.com or Agoda.com. With them, you can reserve a hotel with NO pre-payment and you can even cancel the booking a day before your arrival with NO cancellation charges at all.

4 cm x 4 cm Photo (white background). Photos that are pixelated or of low resolution will NOT be accepted. .

Cover Letter with Daily Itinerary Details. This is for explaining why you are applying for an Argentina visa. Along with this letter, you must also provide your day-to-day itinerary.

If you want to see a sample, here was the letter I submitted.

You must sign the cover letter at the bottom (with your FULL name — including your middle name — in capital letters). .

Flight Reservation. This should be a round trip ticket confirmation or reservation. It’s best to secure a reservation via an airline (directly) or with a travel agent.

In case you’re wondering where to look for the best flight deals, my go-to platforms are Momondo, Kayak, and Skyscanner.

Ensure that the flight document shows your name and that it is extracted from the airline directly (meaning that for example, if you book via Skyscanner, the e-Ticket you’ll typically receive is from the platform; however, the Embassy wants it to be from the airline directly. So just use the booking reference code and extract the data from the airline’s website). .

Certificate of Employment (COE). Submit the original COE document that is duly notarized, and it should properly indicate your full name, passport number, your position, start date of your work, a brief description of the duties that you do, your monthly salary, and your approved duration of leave.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Your COE must be notarized in the country in which the letterhead of your certificate indicates. So if for example you work for a company that’s located overseas, the Certificate of Employment that they will provide for you must be notarized in that particular country address — and NOT the Philippines.

For self-employed / business persons.

If you’re a freelancer, submit your Certificate of Registration and latest ITR (original, and photocopy in A4 paper).

If you own a business, submit your Business Registration issued by DTI / SEC (including all the Articles of Incorporation and latest General Information Sheet) and the company ITR. (Original, and photocopy in A4 paper).

For unemployed persons.

Given the way the Embassy of Argentina presents its requirements for visa application, it’s best that you acquire a guarantor/sponsor if you’re unemployed. (See section B below for details). .

Bank Certificate and Bank Statements (or Passbook). These must be an original copies from your bank encompassing information for the last three (3) months of the current year.

How much should you have in your bank account? The Argentina Embassy did NOT mention any minimum balance requirement, but after a bit of research, I found out that you must at least have $100 (Php 5,000~) per day of your stay — you can use this as a standard but of course it’s always best if you have more. .

Hotel Reservation.

If you’re planning on staying with a friend in Argentina, a notarized letter of invitation must be submitted (more details of this in section (B) below.

For hotel bookings, it’s best to do it with Booking.com or Agoda.com. With them, you can reserve a hotel with NO pre-payment, and you can even cancel the booking a day before your arrival with NO cancellation charges at all.

Once you’re done researching, please remember that the hotel reservation you must present to the Argentina Embassy is a direct confirmation from the hotel — not just the document you got from Booking.com or Agoda. (So for this, you can just email the hotel to ask for a document confirming the booking). » TRAVEL TIP: When booking your accommodation with Agoda, use my promo code ‘AILEEN7’ to get a 7% discount! .

* * * * * *

(B) Argentina Tourist Visa WITH Guarantor/Sponsor

This kind of application is applicable for students, minors, unemployed persons, husband/wife (if one of you will be supporting the other), self-employed persons/freelancers* and others. This also applies to anyone who would have a company/agency to sponsor the trip.

For submitting the necessary requirements, simply submit the requirements listed in section (A), numbers #1 to #5, as well as #8.

When it comes to (#7) Bank Certificate and Bank Statements, you should ask these from your guarantor/sponsor — such could be your mom, dad, brother, sister, friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, relative, company, etc. (Technically, anyone can be your sponsor). In addition, you should submit…

Guarantee Letter. An informal letter written by your sponsor and guarantor certifying that he/she will be funding or sponsoring your travel expenses. This should be signed by him/her, and notarized in the country that he/she resides in. ..

Photocopy of Guarantor/Sponsor’s Passport. Provide a photocopy of the bio page only; if not, it can be a photocopy of any Visa page or any government-issued ID.

If your guarantor/sponsor is a foreigner or foreign national, please also provide a photocopy of his/her identity card (I-CARD) or AEP (Alien Employment Permit). .

ADDITIONAL NOTES:

If you’re a student or minor…

You should provide:

Affidavit of Support from your parents

DSWD Permit (must be authenticated by the Department of Foreign Affairs)

Birth certificate

Parent’s government-issued ID with picture (this can be their passport, Driver’s License, etc.) .

If your guarantor/sponsor is a foreigner or foreign national…

If he has NO account in any of the local banks in the Philippines, he/she can provide a photocopy of his/her bank statement with contact details.

Providing pay slips will help. .

If you’re going to stay in the address of an Argentine resident and NOT a hotel…

Your host must write a letter of invitation and send the original copy to the Embassy. This serves the sole purpose of initiating the visa application process and does not guarantee, under any circumstances, the granting of visa abroad. The letter is informal and shall meet the following requirements:

The letter must be written in Spanish.

It must be addressed to the intervening consular authority (e.g. .Al Sr. Cónsul de la Republica en…)

Contain all personal and contact details of the inviting person in Argentina: name and surname, DNI, address,telephone or mobile number, and email address.

Contain all personal and contact details of the foreigner invited to Argentina (in short, YOU): name and surname, nationality, date of birth, type and passport number, telephone or mobile number, email address and any other contact details)

Explain the reason for traveling, relationship of the invited person with the host, duration of stay in the country, the place of stay and estimated dates of arrival and departure.

Express that the signatory will be responsible for the departure of the said foreigner once the permitted length of stay expires.

Include this paragraph: “Como invitante de extranjeros, he leído y comprendo los términos de establecidos en el Capítulo VI dde la Ley 25.871, artículos 116, 117, 118, 119, 120 y 121.”

It must contain the signature of the host, certified by the corresponding Notary Public and relevant Public Notaries Association.

This original document of letter of invitation must be sent by the host to the Embassy of the Argentine Republic in Manila by post.

* * * * * *

NOTE: Additional requirements may be needed as deemed necessary by the Consulate of the Embassy of Argentina – Manila.

Step 3: Process your Argentina Visa application and pay the processing fee . .

Thankfully, you can just walk in to the Embassy of Argentina in Makati (from 9AM to 12PM) in order to submit your Argentina Visa application. The consular section’s details are as follows:

Embassy of the Argentine Republic in Manila – Consular Section 8th Floor, Liberty Center, 104 H.V. de la Costa St., Salcedo Village, Makati City Tel: 845.3218/3219/3238 Fax: 845.3220 E-mail: [email protected]

Filing Hours: 9:00 AM – 12:00 PM (Monday- Friday) Visa Release Hours: 2:00 PM – 4:00 PM (Monday – Friday)

Once you reach the 8th floor, the entrance of the Embassy has a doorbell button on the left side — just push this and when you hear a beep, it means that you can proceed to open the door. Head directly to the counter and express your purpose. The officer will scrutinize your documents and ensure that everything is complete and in order.

If they deem your documents to be enough, they will give you a deposit slip indicating the visa fee that you will have to pay. As of October 2017, the fee is at $150 (or Php 7,600~). For payment, you just need to head to the BPI branch in Leviste street which is just a few blocks away from the Embassy — afterwards, you need to go back to the Embassy to provide the proof of payment/deposit.

NOTE: Be reminded that this visa fee payment is non-refundable and it does NOT guarantee the approval of your Argentina visa.

The officer will then advise you that they will call or email you within 10 days about the schedule of your interview.

Step 4: Attend your interview appointment . .

They told me to wait for 10 days for a notification as to when I’ll be scheduled for an interview — however, they e-mailed me 2 days after and scheduled my interview the next day.

Don’t forget to bring your passport for the interview (and any other documents that can help support your application). After submitting your passport at the counter, you will have to wait a bit until your name is called… I was scheduled for a 10AM interview but they only started the interviews at around 11AM, so it’s best that you bring something to entertain yourself with (you’re asked not to use your cellphone inside so maybe bring a book or a Kindle).

Now for the actual interview itself, mine only took about a minute, and I think it’s mostly because I wasn’t really staying in Argentina as much given that the main purpose of my trip was for Antarctica. The interviewer was the Ambassador himself and he was quite friendly — we spent a bit of time talking about Antarctica, as well Argentina itself!

Once we were done talking, the Ambassador said that I got the visa, and then the officer assisting him told me to get a claim stub at the counter which will show the date as to when I can claim my passport with visa.

If you’re curious about the possible interview questions that they will ask you, naturally, it will vary depending on your situation and background. Nevertheless, I can assure you that there won’t be any tricky questions! This is NOT a quiz but just a simple background check.

Besides, I even had the chance to hear some of the other interviews (since the walls were thin haha) so to give you an idea, it will typically cover the following aspects:

– Your background: proof of strong ties with the Philippines, your job, your financial capacity, etc. – Details & purpose of your trip: where are you going to, why you’re going, how long, where you’re staying, if you have relatives/family in Argentina, if you prepared your itinerary, etc. – Your relationship with your sponsor: only if you’re applying with a guarantor/sponsor – Your travel history – Etc.

Again: there really are no difficult questions since they only want to know more about you and your trip. So just be honest and concise.

Step 5: Claim your Argentina visa . .

My claim stub indicated that my passport with Argentina visa will be ready after 1 working day, so I just headed back to the Embassy on the date mentioned. You bet that I was relieved when I finally saw the visa with my very own eyes!

When your Argentina visa is not granted, I’m NOT sure if the Embassy will give you reasons for the denial, nor do I know if they will let you appeal (since it’s an experience I haven’t [thankfully] gone through).

That being said, I have a feeling that since the Embassy is so meticulous with the requirements, their acceptance of your application at Step #3 above might most likely mean that you already have a strong chance of getting your visa approved (but don’t take my word for it — all in all, I wish you the best of luck!)

Activities to do around Argentina?

Come read my posts about it by reading my detailed travel guides now!

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F.A.Q. (Frequently Asked Questions)

◘◘ When is the earliest time that I can apply for an Argentina visa? You can apply as early as three (3) months or 90 days before your planned trip date departure. Anyhow, the Embassy advises that you must apply at least 30 days before your intended date of departure from the Philippines.

◘◘ How long is the duration of a tourist Argentina visa? All tourist visa holders are permitted to stay in Argentina for a maximum period of 3 months or 90 days. If there’s a need to stay longer than 90 days, an extension can be requested from the National Immigration Office prior to expiration of the period originally granted.

◘◘ How much money should I show in my bank account? The Argentina Embassy did NOT mention any minimum balance requirement, but after a bit of research, I found out that you must at least have $100 (Php 5,000~) per day of your stay — you can use this as a standard but of course it’s always best if you have more.

◘◘ How long does the Argentina visa process take? The tourist visa application has a turn-around time of about ten (10) working days, however due to the volume of applicants as well as due to your circumstance, it could be longer or shorter than the aforementioned. For my case, mine took about only 5 days in total to process.

◘◘ How can I follow up on my application? If you haven’t heard back from the Embassy in 10 days, feel free to call or email them to follow up. .

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Though the Embassy officers might give you a hard time on your Argentina visa application, always remember that they just mean well. In fact, with their help and this guide’s help, you’ll surely increase your chances of getting that coveted approval!

All in all, I hope that the tips and info that I’ve shared here will help guide you.

Good luck!

Do you have any other info or tips to add?

If you’ve already applied for an Argentina visa before, how was your experience?

Were you approved or denied? Please feel free to share your story!

Did you like this article? Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or YouTube and be notified about my newest posts and updates!

source http://cheaprtravels.com/how-to-apply-for-an-argentina-visa-for-filipino-tourists-or-visitors-i-am-aileen/

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eurekakinginc · 7 years ago

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"[D] Doubts on theory of Perturbative Neural Networks (PNN), CVPR ‘18"- Detail: Hi,Recently, Perturbative Neural Networks (PNN) paper got some attention in this subreddit, especially in the context of reproducibility of the results. The authors provided interesting results as well theoretical motivations and properties of their PNN. However, I got stuck on the Section 3.3 Relating PNN and CNN, so I wanted to ask experts here to resolve my doubts regarding this particular section.Let me start by noting what is the purpose of Section 3.3: In my opinion authors want to show that given convolution matrix A and input vector x we can find a unique perturbation masks matrix N of PNN layer, hence the relation between CNNs and PNNs. But is it true in practice? When reading this section I got few observations and questions:The authors assume that N=d, which means that the number of perturbation masks - N is equal to the number of pixels in the feature map times number of channels - d. This assumption is rather not realistic and even in their experiments they limited the number of masks to N \approx 256. For comparison, the input image had d=224x224x3. Note, this assumption allowed them to use Eq. (7) to prove their reasoning. However, when d != N, we cannot use it, and we should use least square solution Eq. (8), which was not used for some reason.After Eq. (19) authors write that in case when eigenvalues of X^+AX and A are distinct, there exists a unique solution for their problem, however there are no comments on the validity of this condition in their case. What if there is no solution? I will discuss it later in this post.Why actually we are interested in finding matrix N? If N is fixed during training, so we have no control over it and it is randomly sampled. The relation between PNNs and CNNs would be clearer to me if the authors showed that given A and x and some random masks N we can always find linear combination weights which approximate the output of CNN layer. This would be a good motivation for me.Let assume that Eq. (19) has unique solution, and we know that given some matrix A and some input vector x we can find a PNN layer which will approximate output of this convolutional layer. Actually, I'm not sure if this is a real relationship, since this solution is valid only for certain input x. When we will take different input image x' this will just not work anymore.Those are general comments from my side, which I would like to see explained in the paper in order to better understand the motivations for this interesting method.Additionally, I have a major doubt regarding the proof in the Section 3.3. I redo the derivations and stopped at the Eq. (16), which is: A X N^1 = X N^-1 A (16) In the next step authors apply strange and potentially danger trick with Moore-Penrose pseudoinverse to obtain Sylvester equation (18). However, in my opinion Eq. (16) is already in good form to be interpreted as Sylvester equation. If we introduce a new variable Y=X N^-1 , we obtain Sylvester equation of formA Y - Y A = 0 which does not have unique solution for Y, hence no solution for N matrix. This seems to contradict the main conclusions of the Section 3.3! Now, if my observations are valid it may mean that apparently the Macro View section is not the best motivation for the relation between CNNs and PNNs, if such exists .... Caption by kmkolasinski. Posted By: www.eurekaking.com

#machine learning #data science #software #programming #engineering #saas #eCommerce #marketing

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jenniferlawxrence-blog · 7 years ago

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Which are the best books or learning resources to prepare for the GRE?

Hi, I am Vince, and I have been a fulltime coach for 9 years.

Update: I've a 77-item GRE prep checklist in my website which is going to be a fantastic supplement to this Quora response.

Suggestion: Instead of just following a pre-made, one-size-fits-all GRE research plan you locate online, I would highly advise inventing your own, using my personal guidance below for each region of the test. You are the 1 who wants to determine what your weaknesses and strengths are, in which to invest additional hours and less time, and also what portions of the GRE the applications to which you are employing care about.

Construct Foundational Skills

Many verbal reasoning questions may be dependent on if you're able to define the words from the question or the response options. My #1 suggestion is to find out GRE words every day in GRE Vocab Ability (the publication I co-wrote). In addition, we carry a word root indicator.

Contain a pronunciation so that you are able to use it in language, a short definition, a mnemonic, a sentence with the term, and some other synonyms you wish to learn. Watch my website for illustrations and a graph explaining how to arrange your vocab studies.

Your everyday reading (see below) will even assist with GRE terminology. Look up words you do not understand; they will be a lot easier to learn because you have noticed them in context. Whatever strategy you use to find out vocab, quiz yourself. It is simpler to keep things if you are quizzed on them.

Reading Comprehension -- constructing your capacity to know the literalsignificance of what you are studying and also to understand how different sections of a passing function regarding the entire world. You are going to need to have the ability to read passages written in a graduate degree in regions such as the humanities and sciences: this ability is the basis of your GRE verbal preparation. The more you need to prepareyourself, the more significant enhancing reading comprehension becomes more. If you do not have very long until you take the GRE, it can be hard to boost your reading ability in an appreciable manner -- it is normally a skill that takes some time to build.

Read about all types of distinct topics; you will comprehend a passing better if you are familiar with its subject matter. This will enhance your understanding and teach you language. It is going to also provide you with material for those essays!

Mastery is vital, as you'll also need to conclude your way through several queries, not simply plug numbers into formulas or resolve x.

My best recommendations would be to utilize the Manhattan Prep GRE Set (in case you've got more time, such as 4 or 2 months) or CliffsNotes Math Review (if you've got less than 4 weeks) to develop conceptual understanding. Utilize ETS's mathematics review (that is on line here) to develop conceptual understanding, also.

Significant: for theories you haven't ever heard or that you are otherwise feeble on, utilize Khan Academy to construct base through exercises and videos. I have made a dictionary which classifies the mathematics questions from the Official Guide by technique and concept so that you can practice employing a concept as soon as you've discovered it. Be sure to build in summary sessions; you would like to be reviewing topics once you are beginning to overlook them. I will get into real math method for the GRE in Measure 4; by method, I suggest methods for performing particular question types.

Read what ETS writes concerning the essays on its own site; it provides a great deal of excellent information. Back in The Official Guide, in addition to at the Verbal Practicebook, you will find sample essays from actual GRE takers. These are fantastic models for the writing because you're able to see exactly what the ETS graders reward.

Next, read and also emphasise the topics for the Issue article as well as also the topics for your article; ETS publishes all potential essay topics on its own site. After that, write custom essays untimed initially to come up with your abilities, then compose them once you are delighted with the way the untimed ones seem. That I exceptionally urge obtaining a fantastic author to check out your essays. They Say, I Say is the very best publication I know of to increase your writing, because it immediately permits you to integrate academic writing constructions in your writing.

All these are queries which involve rebuilding or strengthening a debate or describing a paradox. Comprehension is secondary to plausible rationale here, and such questions require different abilities.

You may notice questions like those on the GRE, however, ETS has not published quite many.

Learn Strategy

Every GRE question type could be made simpler with great methodology.

I'm a tutor, therefore I am biased, but I feel that the ideal way to understand technique is by a mentor, and that means you're able to speak through the principles of queries together with the other human.

I provide a whole GRE class that I made for LinkedIn I believe is useful. Magoosh is great, also.

What About In-Person Courses?

I tend to steer folks away from many organizations' classes. In brief, I'm among those hardly any long term, full-time tutors on the market. Tutoring isn't a frequent livelihood, therefore most tutors are operating part-time while they complete graduate school or search for a "normal" job in their area of interest.

Hence the GRE Trainers working for large organizations are often inexperienced. As soon as they get more experience and recognize that they can come across customers by themselves they leave the big company and it hires more beginners.

That is the reason why large organizations do not usually tell you who is instructing their GRE courses.

Caution: If you are learning technique by a static source such as a book or a movie, be prepared to experiment and be flexible. When a technique is not working on a sure ETS query, it might be the technique's error more than yours. Consider it; speak about it with somebody else; attempt another manner.

GRE verbal clinic and GRE mathematics practice with actual (ETS-written) queriesis vital to hone your strategy and to receive realistic experience.

These will be the most crucial clinic publications, because they feature accurate GRE sample questions, which can be somewhat more complicated and realistic than any other firm.

I have explained all of the Quantitative Practice Book's queries on my Youtube station.

It is possible to supplement with Barron's 6 GRE Practice Tests (that I co-wrote) -- just be certain that you finally master that the ETS issues. I am also fond of that the Manhattan 5 pounds. Publication of GRE practice issues. Remember that these books are for additional math practice and therefore are less useful for additional verbal training.

To begin with, clinic untimed. This is your opportunity to work on theories and techniques without any time pressure. Timed practice is best done when your abilities and techniques are somewhat sharper.

Consistently circle annoying questions or queries you guessed, which means that you may review them. Do not write on your novels -- if you examine questions, they need to be blank.

You will likely need more than just two pc training tests, so I would supplement with Manhattan Prep's online GRE practice tests (that can be found with the purchase price of some of those novels in the Manhattan Prep GRE Place). Do not examine Manhattan tests overly much -- they are not exactly the real thing. I would plan for taking 5-8 clinic tests throughout your homework.

I would take the initial ETS Powerprep Timed Evaluation about halfway through your homework, and choose the next step toward the finish of your homework. Do not forget there are simple, moderate, and difficult sections for the next segments of both mathematics and verbal in each and every test. Here is a response crucial that will let you access them all.

My buddy Brian has released a comprehensive guide to utilizing the ETS Powerprep program.

A last source of fresh queries is that this ETS practice paper evaluation, but I would do it survive, as it includes some inquiries in the Powerprep tests.

Reviewing is where you know the most about the GRE as well as the principles it functions by.

Inspection difficulties, identifying that which had been analyzed, perfect technique, and takeaways. Write down these things. You ought to be reviewing issues you have right as far as you examine ones that you missed. Keep working with a query till you are able to describe it to a buddy. This will permit you to get a great deal more from the ETS novels, because it ought to be taking you twice as long to examine a query as it requires you to perform you. The fantastic news? Inspection is the thing that makes you better in the evaluation! Review, do not just do!

Now go back and focus on theories and techniques until you are ready to exercise again. At some point, you are going to want to do queries you have wrong again -- from scratch -- thus do not write on your publications, and wait till you have forgotten a query to redo it.

Bonus Recommendation: You are applying to graduate school soon, right? I highly suggest reading Graduate Admissions Essays -- it is an intelligent summary of the entire application procedure, not only the essay. The writer, Donald Asher, is a specialist on entries, and that I heard a lot although I have been doing so for quite a while.

#gre