Most straight relationships in media: “Even though there's no development and no chemistry and we don't look like we love each other that much we'll date because we're straight and that's what we're supposed to do. Right??”
Most queer relationships in media: “If saving you is a sin, I'll gladly become a sinner.” — “Dying together also included a ‘together’.” — “You changed my destiny from the moment we touched.” — “I would know him in death, at the end of the world.” — “The hero and the warrior were like the sun and the moon...”
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As any self-respecting Zane stan, of course I've seen Decoded. And of course I loved the sweet but subtle character moment of him being bashful and awkward when Jay brought up the statue.
For the longest time, I've always interpreted this moment as Zane being his typical humble, bashful self. And while I'm sure that's true to an extent, recent events from Dragons Rising have led me to consider an alternative interpretation.
If I may bring your attention to this quote from DRpt2:
"Zane had impressive shoes to fill. No one could live up to him, maybe not even Zane himself."
I dunno. There's just something about the fact that Zane's own legacy has outgrown him, that he's overshadowed by the memory of his past self, that rather than a testament to the love his friends and community have for him he instead sees the statue as an insurmountable burden he can never hope to live up to...
Which brings me to yet another blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment from the Shadow of Ronin video game (I know it's canon-ness is debatable, but hear me out for a sec)
While everyone is gathered around Nya and speaking to Borg via hologram, Zane is...gone. He's off in the distance, standing at the base of his statue, just...staring at it.
God, and when you add this all up to Zane's Ice Emperor baggage...yeah.
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in my head after the events of camlann merlin returns to camelot and, still riddled with terrible guilt and grief, confesses to leon about everything that had happened and everything he had done, magic and all. and instead of outrage or betrayal or scorn or judgement (or even death, as he had briefly considered) leon shatters him with a deeply apologetic expression and a whispered “my friend… you must have been so afraid, and so tired.” and merlin collapses into heaving sobs against him and doesn’t get back up for a long time.
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Hmmm just gonna spit this headcanon out in text post form since A. I don't think I could exposit it well enough in image form and B. It's not actually textually/thematically substantiated and I don't like actually staking my stuff on just vibes alone*
But anyway. I'd say it's pretty evident that all the islanders forgot their names, right? King obviously. Because why the hell else would he do that, but also Siffrin No Middle Names No Last Name.
They're 'pretty sure' they've 'always' been 'Just Siffrin' 'as long as they can remember'. It's a pretty cruel twist of the knife to say that they don't even get to keep their birth name as a memento, which is why I'm saying as such.
My utterly unsubstantiated claim is I think it'd be cute to say that Sisyphus *is* the name Siffrin initially picked, assuming the myth of King Sisyphus is recontextualised as idk, just a play or something in the setting. But I like the idea of Siffrin going 'oh shit 🫵 he's just like me fr' at a tortured fictional character long before the irony kicks in.
As for how Sisyphus -> Siffrin. I think that chronic mumbler and emotional doormat Sif just did not correct people who misheard the name during their time travelling, and went through enough places with incompatible phonologies (pronounceable sounds in the language) without ever really writing it down that it just got kinda. Changed until it was unrecognisable, and Siffrin just went with it until the earlier pronunciations slipped out of their swiss-cheese brain. And they just kinda don't remember any of that.
Also, something something the horrid realisation that Siffrin also named themselves after a King. Just not as blatantly.
*(though I think there's something here about Siffrin, a guy from a belief system that seems to thoroughly disincentivise autonomy and self-motivated choice continuously having their hand forced to make changes/choices they don't want but have no choice but to... It's not solid enough to really back this up tbh, but it informs it.)
Anyway.
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Once more thinking about something that permanently altered my brain's chemistry and the way I see life and I think I should share it here, even if no one is going to see.
In the How to Train Your Dragon book series, there is a scene where Hiccup faces an enemy who owns an axe that has two sides, one that is golden and shiny, the other that is blackened, bloody and rusty. He would throw the axe in the air and make decisions depending on which side it would land on. Said axe eventually is used to decide Hiccup's fate.
However, despite being trapped by the narrative in many ways, Hiccup is the protagonist of his own destiny. He reaches for the axe as it falls, and turns it himself so it lands on the golden side. Whether the axe was going to land on the gold or the dark side originally is irrelevant. He chooses to be alive and be free.
Every time I go through a difficult moment, as I am right now, I think about this scene, as silly as it may be.
I am allowed to grab the destiny axe. And so are you.
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Hey mutuals! Which vibe do I give off!! *Several pictures of undiscovered unconscious life floating among debris in space stand next to a picture of a Sanrio character you've never seen before*
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