#and i haven't figured out how to fix it

[ayzrules]

Your tags on https://www.tumblr.com/ayzrules/725611442866454528/ive-heard-a-lot-of-people-say-dont-reach-out-to

#i still do get bitter over how much time and energy i was willing to put into group 1 that group 1 wasn't returning to me#like this stuff takes so much time to get over

God, yes. I feel like I've been trying to "get over" a friendship that became like that for longer than the friendship has actually been good and healthy for.

Good on you for changing your priorities and sticking with it. I try to do something similar, every time I find myself dwelling on how hurtful that was, I channel the energy into making contact with a different friend.

I hope all the people with excuses in the tags see posts like yours and see what the takeaway is - that the result was NOT the friendship staying as it was with no effort from them. If you treat someone with lack of care, they WILL eventually start to care less about you, for self-preservation if nothing else. Good excuses and good communication about them can stave this off, but only so much.

Hang in there and thanks for sharing.

Good excuses and good communication about them can stave this off, but only so much.

gosh, so much this! Like, I didn't get to this point without talking to said friends - I got there after we had multiple conversations about it and it finally became clear enough to me that nothing was going to change. I think part of it was that I'm the kind of person who puts 100% into things I decide to invest time into, to an extent where it can get detrimental to my own health (i.e. staying up all night working on something instead of getting reasonable sleep) and this kind of bleeds into my interpersonal relationships. That group was my "top priority" in terms of channeling energy and enthusiasm for a long time, and the realization that the others in the group just didn't return the sentiment for whatever reason (and I mean that in the most neutral, least accusatory way possible - i understand that all of us are dealing with school, mental health, jobs, etc) was both difficult and freeing for me. I actually did exactly what the original post said you shouldn't (oops, haha) and literally wouldn't message first in the chat for weeks or months at a time - and every time I did that, the chat was just dead. Zero activity. I think that helped put some things into perspective for me too, especially when another chat I was in didn't suffer from this kind of issue.

every time I find myself dwelling on how hurtful that was, I channel the energy into making contact with a different friend.

100%! It's definitely been a much healthier way of coping with it for me. I haven't cut anyone from group 1 off or blocked/gone no contact or whatever, but I also don't go out of my way to randomly pop in and say hi anymore. Wrt my newer groups/chats I've always thought of it as like, filling the space that group 1 used to hold in a way? if i think of a fun activity that i might have liked to propose to group 1 in the past, i suggest it to my new group instead. i'm more than happy to do work and organize activities or fun lil events like music streams with new group because i get more than just "Ooo" as a response to suggestions. lmao.

If you treat someone with lack of care, they WILL eventually start to care less about you, for self-preservation if nothing else.

100% that last part. i haven't looked at any of the tags in the original post, but i hope those people can understand that it's supremely unhealthy to be waiting desperately for someone to respond and getting upset when they just don't while seeing them respond elsewhere, or wracking your brain for ways to engage people - who are supposed to be your friends! - in ways where they won't just ghost in the middle of the conversation, or feeling bitter when you're trying to put something together for them but the intended recipients don't seem invested or particularly receptive at all (me a few hours before seeing the original post, lol). even though i haven't left the chat or blocked anyone etc, i've definitely moved on, mostly because it was really doing a number on my mental health and I just... didn't want to feel so sad and lonely all the time, yknow? I also wasn't going to blame them for it, because it's not their fault that our expectations of friendship were misaligned. it just happened. sometimes that's what life is. if any of them reach out to me, I respond and engage, and I do still occasionally seek them out. they're just not "top priority" for my energy or time anymore.

Hang in there and thanks for sharing.

thank you <3333 and thank you for sending this ask! I'm glad it's not just me who feels this way. I really did feel like I was going insane, lol

Wishing you all the best <3

[snickerdoodlles]

Any headcanons about Chay and Khun? We have very little of them interacting in canon but what's there is SO interesting to me

ahh, my two beloveds!!! yes!!!

the first time Khun shlorps Chay up for craft night, Chay's beyond annoyed by Khun never asked and just assumed he had no plans (which, he didn't, but Khun didn't know that!). he sticks as many heart sequins on the furniture as he does the craft cars until Khun notices and bolts laughing while Khun yells he's an ungrateful brat behind him. Khun kidnaps him again the next day for lunch (again! with the no asking!!) and unloads a bottle of glitter on Chay's head to "make you fabulous enough for my presence, hmph," and Chay laughs and enjoys lunch despite himself.

weeks go by and Chay actually begins to relax more with Khun and appreciate his company. he asks Khun when his next craft night is and Khun lights up with glee. it's at this craft session that Chay goes to grab a brightly colored box he assumes is washi paper and gets his hand smacked away by Khun and scolded, "no touching the bombs!!"

Chay blinks. "the what."

"those aren't bombs," Arm says absently as he carefully positions two paper cranes on his motorized car, "didn't want to scare the kid, i'll add them later. those are just the fuses and some spacers."

"bombs??????" Chay insists again, louder.

because the thing is, Chay doesn't like violence. he doesn't like his self-defense lessons, he doesn't like violence on his doorstep, and for all that he can appreciate and even admire Porsche and Kim's fighting to protect (provided they don't get hurt), Chay really doesn't like fights happening around him.

but this is mafia. moreso, this is Korn's mafia, and Korn likes things messy, bloody, and chaotic, and Khun of all people understands the need to protect your loved ones even when your ability to do so is severely limited. so Chay's going to participate in Khun's coping mechanisms like making glitter bomb cars for home defense until Chay can figure out his own ways to look out for and support his brother and his boyfriend without physically fighting, because it's important to Khun no one else suffer the feeling of helplessness like he did.

[allastoredeer]

Ya'll ever just

Why is housing so impossible???? Why are there so many hoops you have to jump through just to get a roof over your head???? Who thought it was a good idea to make it hard to live on just one income???? Why is it so hard to live off of two incomes for that matter???

I have a job, I pay taxes like everyone else, so why is it a constant back and forth struggle to pay bills and buy essentials. You know, little things like food. I just woke up, I'm hungry, and I'm craving a few billionaires right now. #EatTheRich

Capitalism continues to suck the life out of me and I am being a husk of my former self.

[tosahobi-if]

do you have any art of ??? i feel like everyone but ???mancers are getting fed 😔

HAHAHA of course! here's a sketch i've been working on of ??? recently. i'm going to attempt to paint it so wish me luck (´ཀ` )

[doubldeckkr]

More art style experimenting⚡(have I posted any of my other ones? I don't remember.)

This time with Hawks because I NEED HIM he's the goat :]

[climbdraws]

how do you fix the procreate export issue?

Here's how I would normally export a file -

iPad Procreate -> Share -> PSD -> Upload to Drive -> Download on Laptop -> Open in PS

With the bug, I have to export like this -

iPad Procreate -> Flatten Individual Groups -> Drag Files into New Canvas Individually -> Share -> PNG -> Upload to Drive -> Download on Laptop -> Open in PS -> "Piece Together" Individual Files

With the bug, I cannot export any PSD or layered files without getting the super gross pixels. If I have layers I have to transfer them one by one as flat images onto a new canvas, save as a PNG, and then re-assemble them in Photoshop

The digital art equivalent of making a sandwich pulling it apart and then slapping it back together in another kitchen before you can eat

[beepbeepinthecorner]

When Mark Watney gets home, there sure is a lot of Tumblr nonsense to get caught up on.

(I just wanted to draw the crew being a friend group lol. And I think it'd be funny if Mark got to see a bunch of memes about him)

[kerizaret]

More hinamatsuri Tenmas au thoughts because it is developing...

Enter: W×S (because I'm biased. I know. Leave me be. I have thoughts for Leo/Need too tho! Just gotta flesh them out)

Bonus interactions:

[phenikas]

I've wanted to make this ever since I finished fixing Jack's textures

(click here for a full review)

[kazoosandfannypacks]

I think my new favorite hack to find a watsonian solution (explainable within the canon of the media) to a doylist urge (this happens because I, the author, want/need this to happen) is to just. assign your doylist desires to another character.

You need your characters to be sitting next to each other in the backseat, despite the fact that it's social norm to leave the middle seat empty? Oh, the driver of the car says, the seatbelt on that side's not working, you'll have to sit in the middle seat. Why's that seatbelt just happen to be broken? Oh, it's not. The driver just wants to see these characters together as much as you do.

[tvntheatre]

I haven't drawn this bitch normally in a while. He's too cute like this to be lost to time.

Ignore the unfinished jackass to the right.

[camellcat]

I've never drawn this man before and quite frankly I don't think I'll ever encapsulate him better than this either

[creationdreamobservation]

Red, White & Royal Blue [2023]

[falling-hand-in-unlovable-hand]

the worst part of break is the last day when you're just drowning in stress thinking about going back. i feel literally physically nauseous

[noradurstig]

trying to save the vibes this sunday by sleeping late, doing yoga, having breakfast on the balcony, chilling on the couch watching tennis and now seeing a movie in the expensive balcony seats that i've never given a shot before. I'm gonna feel okay no matter what it takes lmao

[asairayn]

me writing eclipse struggling with not knowing what he's supposed to look like and looking Wrong in sun's body and being unused to the way it moves and feels and then suddenly after FIVE MONTHS i realize WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE. WHAT DOES HE LOOK LIKE IN THE MINDSCAPE. FUCK. HE'S GOTTA LOOK LIKE SOMETHING AND THAT SOMETHING DEFINITELY ISN'T SUN OR MOON. GODDAMNIT. imma do some fucky shit with colors or whatever. like sure he doesn't have a MIRROR but he should either have rays or a hat and be used to whichever he has and he should be able to SEE WHAT COLOR HIS ARMS ARE