#and i haven't packed my stuff yet but at least i have a packing list

[rightshoeonleftfoot]

How the flowers bloom

Pairing: Marius "Jäger" Streicher x GN!reader

Summary: This is part 1 of my smitten!Jäger x oblivious!reader. Reader has a mental breakdown and Jäger helps you feel better.

Warning: Slight warning, reader has a big breakdown questioning their life. Apart from that it's all fluff. This series is a slow burn (somewhat lol).

Words: 2.3k

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

This not proofread! Criticism is welcome and encouraged. I also do take requests for this fic :)

Today feels dull. Work takes longer than usual, your coworkers' voices grate your nerves more than usual. You have less patience for the customers yelling at you, less tolerance when your boss yells at you for the nth time to do something you haven't had the time for yet. After all, she gave you a never ending list of tasks to do, from mundane to tedious. You were getting to it.

Now, your boss asks you to be at the cash register, whilst also berating you for not going through the to-do list she gave you fast enough. The vase is filling up, one drop at a time. Now, you’re standing at the cash register trying to keep it together. It's excruciating, smiling at the customers like the stress of your job isn't starting to weigh on you.

Your vision starts to get blurry as you speak to the customer. It's been five years and you're still just an assistant in the bakery. You wanted to start your own business. Now here you are, acting as some sous-chef for an ungrateful baker, not a step closer to having your own bakery. What am I doing with my life? The thought rings loudly in your head, as a drop of water falls on the receipt you were gonna hand the woman.

You look down at it for a second, as more droplets fall on the receipt. The vase has overflown, and you're crying. The realization hits you as you wipe the tears off your cheeks and smile at the woman awkwardly.

"I'm so sorry." You chuckle in hopes of making the awkwardness of the situation go away. The lady surprisingly doesn't seem to take it badly. Instead, she looks almost.. concerned. "It's okay love. Everyone needs time off every once in a while." Her british accent is thick, yet it really seems like she cares. You nod in agreement and print out another receipt for her before handing it to her and heading to the break room.

You swallow the lump in your throat, mentally preparing to talk to your boss. You've decided, you're going home. You finally spot your boss, and she stares you down. Her gaze is piercing, like she's reading your every move.

"What the fuck are you doing back here? You're supposed to be out front." Her arms are crossed over her chest. An uncomfortable silence settles as you get the courage to speak up. "I'm heading home. I'm taking time off for the rest of the day." Your boss's face hardens, though she notices your teary eyes and she sighs. "Fine, take the rest of the day off. I don't need you today anyway." She doesn't seem genuine as she storms out of the break room, going to take care of the customers waiting for their order.

You pack your stuff up, almost relieved to be going home. Though the stress of losing your job seems to hit you as you put on your shoes to leave. It's a good paying job after all, right? The only downside is it's not exactly what you want to do for the rest of your life, but it's better than nothing you suppose. You sigh as you step out of the break room, the tears won't stop flowing. It's a never ending stream as you sniffle quietly, trying to bring the least amount of attention to yourself.

You glance at the line as you leave the bakery. It's the lunch rush, the line goes out the door. As you go to open the door to leave, you make eye contact with a customer. A smile appears on the man's face. You know him. He excuses himself from the front of the line and walks quickly towards you, before trapping you in a tight hug.

"Marius, wha- why are you here?" Your tone is laced with laughter as his hug lengthens. He doesn't answer for a few seconds, choosing to hold you in his arms a bit longer. He finally pulls back, putting his hands on each side of your arms. He's ecstatic to see you and it shows. "My op ended early, things got done a lot quicker than we expected." His smile falters a little when he sees your puffy eyes and red cheeks.

"Herzblatt, what happened? Are you crying?" The worry in his tone is obvious. He leans forward, as though to get a better look at your face to make sure you aren't injured. He backs off quickly, his cheeks now tinted red. What was he even trying to do? Confusion takes over as you're not quite sure why he reacted like that. He quickly reaches for a tissue in his pocket to hand you. "I'm okay Marius." You try to reassure him, chuckling to ease some of his worry.

He completely disregards your comment about being okay. "Did someone hurt you?" Instead of handing you the tissue, he goes to wipe off the tears off your cheeks himself. However, he stops himself and awkwardly looks away before handing you the tissue. You take the tissue from his hand, wiping your tears away. "Thanks." You take a deep breath. "No one did this, I'm just.. stressed." You feel a bit bad, complaining about your stressful job to a man who defends people's lives for a living.

"You were heading home, right? Why don't I make you dinner?" Marius proposes confidently. He seems almost too excited to be at your house again. He's fiddling with his belt loop on his pants, you notice he looks almost.. nervous. Granted, he's been like that around you for a bit, you just kind of assume it's how he is. "I couldn't ask that of you, I'd feel bad taking up your time like that." You really just feel like you're taking up space. Not that you don't want to spend time with him, you just don't want to feel like you're bothering him.

His confidence falters ever so slightly. He feels a bit rejected, almost like you're making an excuse to let him down easy. "Well, I don't have anything else to do and uhm, I missed you so..." He looks away awkwardly for a second, before looking back at you and smiling confidently once again. His cheeks seem a bit more flushed than usual. "Okay, yeah, if you're really okay with it, it'd be really nice." You feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. It's nice to have a friend who cares.

"I missed you too, by the way. Let's go." You sniffle as you wipe the last of your tears. His heart flutters at your words. Marius puts his hand out for you to take, but you don't notice as you've already started to walk. He quickly follows you, walking side by side with you.

The walk back to your house is... animated to say the least. Marius has a lot of energy, and a lot to talk about. The entire time you have your hands tucked away in your pockets, to Marius' great disappointment. He's talking your ear off about stuff he's recently watched and read, and he never seems to run out of talking material. His laugh is contagious, and you find yourself forgetting about all the stressful things that happened today.

You finally get back to your house and open the door for him. You take off your shoes and lock the door behind you both. He takes off his shoes and heads to the kitchen, going over to your fridge and opening it with you hot on his trail. You sneak behind him, peeking above his shoulder to see what he's looking at. "What do you want me to make for you, Schatzi?" His tone wavers a bit due to your proximity. He starts to pick stuff up from the fridge and puts it back in an effort to distract himself from you.

"Pasta would be nice." You mumbled, your hand coming to rest on his side to stabilize yourself as you look at what you have in your fridge with him. He freezes, the thoughts in his brain becoming a bit scrambled. "I uhm, I suppose I could." His tone was a bit hesitant as he looked back at you, not realizing just how close you were to him. He looked away immediately, taking a few things out of the fridge and walking away from you and towards the counter.

Marius gets to work. He seems to know what to make with what you have. He's expertly navigating your kitchen, he knows exactly where everything is. You get out of his way, resorting to watching him cook. You're leaning on the counter, looking at his every move, not saying a word. Then, he drops a glass and freezes. He's never done that before. Especially not around you.

"Scheiße." He mumbles under his breath. He's avoiding your gaze, he seems embarrassed. "It's okay, I got it." You stand up straight and head over to the mess he made to clean it up. His palms are sweaty as he tries to help you clean the mess, though he seems to keep dropping everything. You clean up the raw egg that fell on the floor, but accidentally cut yourself on the glass. "Tsk, shit." Marius immediately grabs your hand to look at the cut. He inspects your cut and helps you up.

"Let's get this cleaned up, Liebling." He leads you to the washroom but you stop him. You never understand the names he gives you, you never bother to ask since they seem innocent enough. "I'm okay, Marius. I just need to rinse it." You smile reassuringly at him, and he seems to relax, his grip on your hand loosening. He doubles down regardless. "No, I don't want any glass in your cut." He pulls you towards him and into the washroom.

He drags you over to the sink, and cleans your wound for you. His hands are sweaty and you can feel it. He's nervous, but it's nothing out of the ordinary so you don't question it. You lean towards him to see what he was doing better. He's cleaning it up, putting your hand under warm water, rinsing your cut to make sure there's no glass. He puts some polysporin on it and covers it with a bandaid, making sure it's nice and snug. He finally looks up to see you. "There, it's all-" He stops talking abruptly as his eyes meet yours.

You're confused as to why he stopped talking. His face is very close to yours, but it's not bothering you, you're usually this close to him. He clears his throat and looks away. "Uhm, yeah, it's cleaned and you're good to go." He smiles awkwardly, and leaves to go back to the kitchen to finish making you food. You can't deny his help is making all your stress vanish.

You walk back into the kitchen, and smile when you notice he cleaned up the glass. "Marius." You call out to him as he turns on the stove to make the sauce. "Ja?" He doesn't turn to look at you. "Thank you for helping me with all of this." You sit at the counter realizing he'd put his sleeves up to his elbows now. "Any time, do you wanna talk about what's bothering you?" You contemplate it for a second before speaking. "I don't like my work." Marius is stunned for a second as he looks at you.

"I thought you loved baking?" He checked the sauce before leaning over the counter to pay more attention to you. "Well, yeah. I just-" You sigh, trying to find your words. "I want to have my own bakery, you know? I'm tired of being some- some sous chef to my boss." You clench your fists. "She treats me like shit, Marius. I've been there for five years and she's not any closer to letting me have a little bit of freedom when it comes to designing the menu."

Marius seems to think for a second. "Why don't you take out a loan? I'll help you find a good spot for your bakery, I can help with the renovation. You'll make that money back quickly." His positive nature is contagious. "You think I could do it?" You don't want to get into debt, it's worrying. "You have the experience and the passion. Besides, I can be your taste tester, ja?" He smiles, trying to lighten the mood. "But for now, focus on getting food and relaxing, Schatzi. I can set something up on the TV for us."

You nod, feeling relieved to have someone there for you. He focuses back on making you a good meal, occasionally spilling some things and bumping into dining chairs and counters as he navigates the kitchen. After a few minutes, he plates the food and presents it to you. Pomodoro pasta, and it looks mouthwatering. "Living room?" He asks as he holds both bowls in his hands, looking at you eagerly.

"Yeah." You hurry to your living room, sitting on the couch, and he puts the pasta bowls on the coffee table. Before you can grab the remote to turn on the TV, he snags it from you. He sits on the couch next to you and sets up a documentary on quantum computers. You lean back on the couch, leaning into him since he's so warm. He freezes but doesn't move. As you both watch and eat, you're hit with a strange sense of calmness.

You focus on the documentary, and though you don't understand everything, you don't mind. He loves explaining it to you anyway. You, however, never notice all the looks he gives you to make absolutely sure you like what you're watching. After all, he'd give you the world if you'd only just accept it.

[loveroftoomanyfandoms]

Cooking Up Love, Chapter 14

Pairing: Chef!Matt Murdock x F!Journalist!Reader

Rating: T

Story Summary: Here 

Warnings/Tags: Hallmark levels of fluffy, cheesy goodness (and speed that their relationship develops, lol), no use of Y/N, Matt is not a vigilante, idiots in love, revenge is sweet 😉

Word Count: ~3800

A/N: A heartfelt thanks to everyone who has read, liked, reblogged, and/or commented on this not-so-little self-indulgent Chef AU of mine -- like Chef Matt, I appreciate each and every one of you.

I would be remiss if I didn't give a special shout-out to the OG members of the Traumatized Irish Catholic Boys Discord server for the encouragement and cheerleading while I was writing this story -- @souliebird, @theradioactivespidergwen, @mattmurdocksscars, & @bellaxgiornata -- y'all are the reason Chef Matt even exists and for that I can't thank you enough.

While this may be the end of the main story, like every good (and some not-so-good, tbh) cheesy Hallmark rom-com, there's lots more to this tale! Chef Matt and Reader don't want to let me go, so I have more planned for them. Whether it winds up being several smaller one-shots or another multi-chapter thing remains to be seen, however, so stay tuned!

As always, thanks to @theradioactivespidergwen for the divider!

Tag List: @yarrystyleeza @hailey-murdock @mattkinsella @bellaxgiornata @danzer8705 @chezagnes @shouldbestudying41 @thepunisherfrankcastle @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment @roseslovedreams

"Girl, you should have seen her," Skyler said as she filled you in over the phone on everything that had happened that morning at the Bulletin . "When she first walked into the office and saw all your stuff missing from your desk she got this smug-ass look on her face -- she was so sure you had either quit in embarrassment or had gotten fired over that article. God , was it satisfying to watch karma bite her in the ass."

You huffed out a laugh. "So then what happened?"

"Ellison had asked me to let him know when Kelsie had made it in, so I texted him and he immediately called her to his office,” Skyler continued. “She thought for sure that she was getting reassigned to Features so she made a big production of having 'no idea' as to what Ellison wanted then took her sweet time going to his office. Little did she know what was actually in store." 

She chuckled. "She was fuming by the time she came marching out of there. First she tried denying the whole thing, then once Ellison showed her the proof we had gathered she accused you of trying to frame her, then she accused me of trying to frame her, then by the time she had packed her desk and was being escorted out of the building by security she had accused Ellison of trying to frame her and was threatening to sue the Bulletin for wrongful termination. I'm so glad you waited until after she had left for the weekend to move your stuff over to your new desk because the moment she realized that her little scheme hadn't worked and you had just moved to a bigger, better desk was priceless."

You sighed and shook your head. "Well, at least it's over and I can just move on with my life."

Skyler was quiet for a moment. "Still haven't heard from Matt?"

Your heart squeezed. You were still hurt and angry that he would believe that you would stoop so low as to pretend to get close to him in order to write a tell-all article full of false information simply to further your career as an investigative journalist, yet at the same time, you missed him. You missed the way he had waited with bated breath as you tried one of his culinary creations, as if your opinion was the only one that mattered to him. You missed the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled at you. You missed the way his hands had felt on yours when he had taught you how to identify fresh fruit and vegetables, the soft caress of his fingers as he had traced your face so he could draw a mental picture of what you looked like, and the way his breath had fanned over your lips as he had leaned in to kiss you.

You sighed and shook your head. You had spent the past 3 days crying over him, so the best thing to do now was to give up and move on. "No, he hasn't tried contacting me. He probably deleted the follow-up email I sent him trying to explain everything the second he got it and blocked my email address."

Skyler hummed. "Mmm, I wouldn't be so sure about that."

Your brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Just that I don't want you to pass up the opportunity to be happy either."

Suddenly there was a knock on your door. "Oh, hold on, Sky, there's someone here."

"I'll let you go so you can get that."

You nodded. "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow then." 

"By the way, you're welcome."

"I'm welcome? For what?" 

"Nothing, talk to you later, byeeeeee!"

Before you could say goodbye, Skyler hung up.

You shook your head with a fond smile as you went to answer the door. You were lucky to have a friend like her.

You opened it and sucked in a shocked breath at the sight of Matt standing outside of your apartment. “Matt?”

Matt smiled nervously at you. “Hi.”

You stood blinking at him for a few seconds. Finally you asked, “How do you know where I live?”

Matt bit his lip. “Oh, I um, I went by the Bulletin but you weren't there, so Skyler gave me your address. I know I probably should have called before just showing up at your home, but I really needed to speak to you and didn't think you'd answer my call, so may I, uh, may I come in?”

You hesitated a moment, then stepped out of the doorway. "Okay."

Matt walked in, then turned to face you as you closed the door behind him. "Thank you.” 

You debated on whether or not to offer him a seat, but ultimately decided against it. Instead, you wrapped your arms protectively across your chest. “What do you want, Matt?"

Matt fidgeted with the container you had belatedly noticed he was carrying. "I owe you an apology for my actions on Friday. I should have known that something was off with that article and given you the benefit of the doubt instead of automatically assuming the worst and accusing you of using me in order to further your career. Not that I'm trying to make excuses for my behavior, but it wouldn't have been the first time that it had happened."

Your brow furrowed and you uncrossed your arms. "What do you mean?"

Matt took a deep breath. "A couple of years ago I met this woman named Elektra, who was a restaurant reviewer for a small online magazine. We started dating and she eventually asked me if I would be okay with sitting down for an interview with her. Naturally I said yes, but when the interview was published it turned out to be a scathing review of both my restaurant and me as a person. Elektra had taken my words and twisted them to make it seem like all I cared about was becoming famous and that I was using my visual impairment to try to get a network deal -- and not only that, but she also strongly insinuated that I hadn't actually earned the Michelin stars that Nelson and Murdock had received and that the food at my restaurant was subpar." 

He shook his head. "The whole time we had been dating Elektra had been trying to get a job with a national publication and figured that an exposé on me would be her ticket in. Needless to say, we broke up after that but the damage had already been done. Her article had been picked up by The Hand , which absolutely tanked our reputation as a gourmet restaurant, forcing us to close Nelson and Murdock and nearly destroying my & Foggy's friendship.”

While you didn't know much about the culinary industry, you did know that The Hand was the premiere magazine for restaurant goers and their reviews were treated like gospel. “So that's why you don't trust journalists.”

Matt nodded. “After I found out that Elektra had used me I decided that I would never get involved with a journalist or do another interview again, but business has been struggling at Daredevil ever since we opened a few months ago so Foggy took it upon himself to schedule me for an interview with the Bulletin during Restaurant Week to try to drum up some business.”

He paused. “I was originally told that it would be with the writer for the food and restaurant section, so I hope you understand my… hesitancy at first.”

You huffed out a breath. “Yeah, it was supposed to have been Kelsie but she was actually out sick with food poisoning at the time, so it was reassigned to me. Oh, and by the way, it turns out that she wrote the exposé I accidentally sent you. She lured me away from my desk while I was in the middle of sending you my real article and swapped the attachment out in an attempt to sabotage me.”

Matt shook his head. "By the way, I did wind up reading your real article and I really appreciate all of the kind and wonderful things you said about me."

You shrugged. "I just wrote what I felt was the truth at the time."

"'At the time'?" Matt bit his lip. "Does that mean you don't still feel that it's the truth?"

You sighed. While you were still a bit hurt and upset that Matt could have thought so little of you, you could now understand the reasoning behind his thoughts.

You shook your head. “No, I do. I still believe everything I wrote.”

Matt huffed out a relieved breath. "Thank you. I um, I wanted to give you this.”

He held the container out towards you. “I promise it's not poisoned.”

You huffed out a laugh as you took it. “I believe you.”

“I also wanted to let you know that the butternut squash risotto, pesto pasta, cremé bruleé, and tiramisu will all be going on the menu at Daredevil next week.” Matt bit his lip. “I hope you'd still want to come by to get some.”

You nodded. “Yeah, I’d love to.”

Matt smiled. “I'm glad. And actually, how about --”

"Foggy, Foggy, Foggy, Foggy…"

Matt groaned as his phone started ringing. "I'm sorry, I should get this. It might be an emergency with the restaurant."

You shook your head and went to put the container of what you assumed was tiramisu in the refrigerator. “It's fine. Go ahead.”

Matt tapped at his screen. "Yeah, Foggy. Wait, wait, slow down… What? They are? How? You're kidding… Wow, okay, yeah, thanks for letting me know. I gotta go though… Yeah, I am. Okay, I'll talk to you later. Thanks. Bye."

"Big news?" you asked as Matt hung up the phone. 

Matt nodded. "Kingpin lost its license this morning due to multiple health code violations and has been permanently shut down, effective immediately."

You bit back a smile. "Really? Wow."

"Yeah, they failed a surprise inspection and --" Matt's brow furrowed. "Wait, you already knew. Did you have something to do with it?"

"Not directly." You grinned. "Skyler may have called the health department a couple of days ago and anonymously reported a case of food poisoning that originated there last week." You shrugged casually. "After all, Kelsie was dating the sous-chef and ate there right before she got sick. But how did Foggy find out so fast?"

"He and I have a friend at the health department -- Brett Mahoney. He keeps us apprised of goings-on -- not when we're going to be inspected, of course, but of shutdowns and such." Matt shook his head. "So wait, the food writer for the Bulletin is dating Wesley?"

You nodded. "Yeah, they've been together for a while, although I didn't know anything at all about ‘James’ except for his first name until Friday when Skyler did a deep dive into Kelsie's social media and found his profile.”

Matt shook his head. “I wouldn't be surprised if it turned out that he and Fisk were also somehow involved in her plans. I have a sneaking suspicion that they had been driving potential customers away from Daredevil.”

“You're probably right. They had to have known that Kelsie had been planning on covering Kingpin for the Restaurant Week kickoff, but then she got sick right as Foggy contacted my boss with the offer of an exclusive interview with you and by the time she had recovered enough to come back to work, it was way too late to try to convince Ellison to switch the story back over to Kingpin.” You shook your head. “At first Kelsie tried to fill my head with doubt about you, saying that you would do anything to try to salvage your reputation and that you were pretending to be interested in me while I was writing my article and would ditch me the second it was published.”

Matt shook his head, a slight smirk spreading across his lips. “Oh I can assure you, sweetheart, my interest in you is very sincere. Apologies if I didn't make that clear before.”

Your breath hitched at the term of endearment. The whole time Matt really had been flirting with you.

“I've never felt so comfortable with someone so quickly before,” Matt continued, “and have genuinely enjoyed getting to know and spending time with you this past week -- going to the farmer's market together and being able to make breakfast for you at the restaurant, having you come with me to the soup kitchen and Fogwell's then over to my place for dinner, getting your honest reactions during the blind tasting, finally knowing that you were just as beautiful as I had thought…”

A small smile crossed his face. “I'd really like to keep getting to know you, if you're interested.”

Your heart fluttered. “Yeah… yeah, I'm definitely interested.”

Matt grinned. “Then how about dinner tonight? My place, 7 o’clock?”

You nodded. “Yeah, I'd like that.”

“Great then. It's a date.”

You smiled. “It's a date.” 

Matt shook his head. “You know, now that I'm thinking about it, Kelsie must've been the person I spoke to when I went by the Bulletin on Tuesday.”

Your brows raised in surprise. “You went by the Bulletin?”

Matt nodded. “Yeah, I had wanted to talk to you about the blind tasting Monday night -- well, actually, what happened after -- but you weren't there and the woman I spoke to said that you were out on assignment and working on a big scoop, and she also said something else about you being one of ‘those investigative types’ who were always looking for a good exposé even if you had to make it up.”

You shook your head. No wonder he thought I had written that article. “Yeah, that was Kelsie, all right. I actually had gone home early that day -- I didn't sleep well Monday night because I thought for sure you were mad at me for rushing out of Daredevil on you.”

Matt shook his head. “Actually it was the opposite. I thought my advances had been unwanted and that I had made you uncomfortable, so I went by to check on you and apologize.”

“No, your advances were definitely wanted, I just…” You sighed. “When Foggy walked in and interrupted us I panicked and began overthinking everything.”

You shook your head. “I guess when Kelsie wasn't sure if planting seeds of doubt between us was working fast enough she decided that straight-up sabotage was the best way to go and wrote that fake exposé since it would hurt both me and you professionally rather than just personally. Luckily I caught it before it went to press and was able to swap it out with my real article, so now that I think about it, it's probably actually a good thing that you went off on me because otherwise I probably wouldn't have known until it was too late."

Matt winced and shook his head. "No, I should've realized that you probably hadn't written that article and calmly asked you about it instead of being an asshole to you, I --"

You shook your head. "It's okay. I forgive you -- this time. But don't think you can just make apology tiramisu for me every time you screw up, no matter how delicious it is."

"Of course not." Matt bit back a grin. "There's also apology cremé bruleé, and apology crepes, and apology --"

You swatted at his chest playfully. " Matt --"

You let out a soft gasp as Matt caught your wrist and pulled you to him, your heart thumping erratically in your chest.

Matt reached up and caressed your jawline with his thumb. "You know, I don't know if I can wait until our date tonight to be able to finally kiss you.”

You shook your head. "I don't think I can wait until tonight either."

A bright grin bloomed on Matt's face. “Well then, I guess there's only one thing to do.”

You melted into him as his warm lips pressed against yours.

You'd had no idea what you'd been in for when you'd first gotten your assignment, but you'd definitely hadn't known just how much it was going to change your life for the better. 

One Year Later

“Matt, honey? You in here?”

Matt turned towards your voice as you walked into the kitchen at Daredevil. “Hi, sweetheart.”

You huffed out a light laugh. “I should've known. You're supposed to be out in the dining area celebrating, Matthew, not at work in the kitchen decorating pies.”

Matt set the piping bag he had been holding down, feeling slightly guilty despite your playful tone. "I just needed to pipe the whipped cream onto these before they went out."

You walked up to him and took his hand. "The kitchen staff has it handled, love. Come on, everyone's waiting."

Matt followed you out to the dining area.

"Hey, there they are!" Foggy said, handing Matt and you each a glass of champagne. "The couple of the hour!"

Matt shook his head. "This is just as much of a celebration for you as it is for me, my friend."

"Ah, yeah, but you have a bit more to celebrate than I do, don't you, buddy?"

Matt grinned. "It has been quite the week, hasn't it?"

Foggy huffed out a laugh. "That's an understatement. I think we need a speech!"

"Yeah, speech!" Karen added. "Everyone, may I have your attention? Matt would like to say a few words."

You gave Matt's hand a gentle squeeze. "You've got this, sweetheart."

Matt nodded and cleared his throat. "First off, I would like to thank everyone for being here tonight. To our vendors -- thank you all for your patience with us as we got things up and running. I know I can also speak for Foggy when I say that you're not just our vendors -- you're our friends as well."

He turned to Foggy and Karen. "Foggy, you are the best sous chef and the best friend I could ever ask for. We wouldn't be here celebrating our first Michelin star for Daredevil nor our James Beard nominations if it hadn't been for you sticking by my side. Karen, same goes for you. Foggy and I are happy to welcome you as an official partner."

Next, he turned to you and took your left hand. "Next, I'd like to extend my heartfelt appreciation to my beautiful fianceé."

He paused for a moment, his thumb caressing the diamond ring he had placed on your finger during a surprise dinner date the night before. "I am so grateful that you wound up being assigned to interview me for the Bulletin."

"You're welcome!" Ellison called out from the crowd.

Laughter rang out from throughout the room.

Matt turned towards Ellison's voice. "Yes, extra thanks to you, Mitch."

A framed copy of your article hung proudly in the lobby next to a photo of Matt, Foggy, and Karen outside of Daredevil the day they had opened. After it had run, business had picked up almost immediately, with the restaurant being constantly packed and reservations being booked months in advance. He, Foggy, and Karen had had to hire both extra servers and kitchen staff to help keep up with demand and had recently signed a contract to expand the restaurant into the empty business space next door.

Matt smiled and gave your hand a gentle squeeze as he turned back towards you. "I'm also grateful that you were willing to give me a second chance after I was an asshole to you during our initial meeting, and a third chance once I had screwed up yet again.”

He nodded towards Skyler, who stood next to Foggy. “And Skyler, thanks for your help with that. ”

Skyler chuckled warmly. “You're welcome.”

Matt had been cautiously optimistic when he had gone to the Bulletin to apologize for (wrongfully) accusing you of writing the fake exposé that you had unintentionally sent him, only to find that you weren't even there.

“Where is she?” Matt asked Skyler, recognizing her voice as the person he had initially spoken to the first time he had gone to the Bulletin to apologize to you. “Will she be back in today?”

He could feel her studying him. “No, she took a personal day,” she replied. “She needed it after everything that's happened over the past few days. You really hurt her, you know that?”

Matt‘s shoulders slumped dejectedly. He nodded. “I know. I was hoping to be able to apologize in person and explain myself.”

Skyler was quiet for a moment, then gave him an address. “Hers is apartment 3-B.”

A broad smile spread across Matt's face. If Skyler was willing to give him your home address there was at least a chance that you'd forgive him. “Thank you so much… Skyler, right?”

“Mmhmm. You’re welcome. Just don't make me regret it.”

Matt shook his head. “I won't, I promise.”

He had hurried to your apartment, where luckily for him, you had not only accepted his apology and forgiven him, but had also told him that you reciprocated his feelings  and agreed to a date, and then the two of you had kissed for the first (but certainly not the last) time.

He cleared his throat and focused his attention back on you. “I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, sweetheart. And congratulations once again on becoming the newest Assistant Editor of the New York Bulletin -- I'm so proud of you.”

He turned back towards the crowd. “And finally, to everyone here tonight -- Each and every one of you have contributed to Daredevil’s success and we can't thank you enough. I'd like you to know just how much each and every one of you are appreciated.”

He raised his glass of champagne. “So eat, drink, and enjoy. Cheers!”

“Cheers!” rang out throughout the room.

Matt pressed a kiss to your forehead as everyone toasted to the restaurant's success. “Love you.”

You hummed happily. “Love you too.”

As Matt continued to celebrate with Foggy, Karen, and you and the rest of their guests, he couldn't help but be filled with a sense of rightness. Daredevil was thriving beyond his wildest dreams, he was engaged to the woman he loved, and as an extra dose of karma, Fisk had recently been indicted on charges of tax fraud, racketeering, and money laundering uncovered as a result of the surprise health inspection closure.

Had you told him a year and a half ago that this would be his life, he'd have never believed it.

Now, however…

Well, he couldn't wait to see what life cooked up for him next.

[cowgurrrl]

From the Dining Table

Pairing: rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader

Author’s note: I feel like I should just leave the author’s note blank because there’s nothing I can do to make it better

Summary: “The love was there. It didn’t change anything. It didn’t save anyone. There were just too many forces against it. But it still matters that the love was there.” [4.5k]

Warnings: oh it’s so sad, mentions of bullying, hard conversations, goodbyes, June ruining everyone’s night yet again

Red Dirt Girl becomes the number one movie in America the first weekend it's in theatres. Box office numbers are insanely high, promising a high payout for everyone involved, and people are already talking about sweeping the competition during awards season. Peter sent flowers to your house to congratulate you, and you and Lilly are scheduled to do as much press together as possible before you leave for Ireland. It's the best-case scenario. So, why can't you let yourself feel good about it? 

Instead of basking in your accomplishments and the pride you feel for this project or going out to celebrate on the clear Friday night that settled over LA, you're packing boxes. You're only taking the things you can't live without, but going through your stuff and deeming what you need and don't is exhausting. The rooms in your house feel especially empty as you silently walk around, thinking your way through the tasks. You consider calling Ryan or your mom to fill the eerie quiet but decide against it. You'll have to talk about Joel if you call either of them, and you don't think you're ready for that yet. So, you open your notes app and try to find the strength to do at least one thing on your list of boring, necessary things that need to get done.

Your to-do list feels never-ending and daunting every time you glance at it. You haven't even thought about finding another manager despite it being the most pressing issue besides your move. You'd been with Mel since you came to LA and thought she'd be your manager for at least another four or five years. She wasn't perfect, but she always made sure your name was being spoken in the important rooms and fought tooth and nail for you. She was ruthless on your behalf. She got you to where you are today. That's not nothing. 

You sigh and pull your hair into a ponytail, debating on going through your books or closet, when a loud knock sounds from downstairs. To call it a knock is a little generous. It sounds like someone is pounding on your door, but you're not expecting anyone. You grab the baseball bat from your bedroom closet before walking down the stairs and approaching the front door. Your knuckles turn white around the grip as you peek through the peephole to see who could possibly be pounding on your door at nine pm. The second you figure out who it is, you drop the bat and scramble to open the door.

"Ellie?" You ask, cutting her off mid-raised fist. Her hair is in her face, and she's wearing her glasses, your porch light casting shadows over her eyes. A big backpack is slung over her big hoodie, and she looks distraught.

"My dad said I can still talk to you if I want. Is that true?" She asks breathlessly, and you look behind her to see if Joel or Sarah dropped her off but find nothing. You take a deep breath and nod.

"Come in," you say, opening the door wider for her to come in. She takes two long strides over your threshold and into your home while you wrack your brain about how to handle this. Is there a handbook out there for talking to your ex-boyfriend's daughter? "Please tell me you didn't ride your bike here."

"No, I took an Uber." She says nonchalantly as you follow her into your living room. You chuckle and turn to ask her if she wants water or a snack but stop yourself short when you finally get a look at her black eye.

"Oh, my God! What happened?" 

"It's not a big deal." She says as you force her to sit at your dining table, put her backpack down, and carefully take her glasses off her face. She winces when you put your hand on her chin to turn her face so you can see her eye better. Under the glow of your kitchen lights, you find a swelling bruise on her jaw and a cut on her nose. How did you not see her injuries in the dark? 

You rush around, gathering ice and a bandaid for her nose. She doesn't say anything as she sits there, looking pretty miserable, and your heart aches at the pout of her lips. You hand her an ice pack to hold to her head while you clean and bandage the cut across her nose. None of the bruises look especially scary, and despite a little blood staining her cheek, she's perfectly fine. You take out your phone flashlight and shine the light across her pupils, watching them dilate accordingly.

"Are you a nurse all of a sudden?" She asks, and you smile as you put your phone face down on the table in front of you. 

"No, but I've played them enough on TV to know how to check for a concussion."

"Oh, is that the requirement?" She asks, and you hum. She fights a smile as she breaks eye contact with you to look down at her hands, which you notice are also bruised and cracked. "Dad told me you guys broke up." She says quietly. She looks so defeated with her slouched posture and nervous foot tapping. You know now is not a time to lie to her.

"Yeah, we did."

"Why?"

"It's complicated." 

"That's exactly what Dad said," she says. The idea of you and Joel parroting each other from opposite sides of the city pulls all the air from you and leaves you floundering. "I'm not a kid. You can tell me what happened." And she's right. She's fourteen. She's old enough to understand how relationships work, but you don't know if it's your place to tell her what happened. You don't know what you're allowed to tell her. You don't know if you're overstepping or how to fix it if you are. 

"Sometimes," you start uncertainly, hoping the words will find you along the way. "Sometimes, two people can really care about each other, but that doesn't mean they'll be together forever or even good for each other." You say, and she makes a face.

"That sucks."

"Yeah, it does," you sigh. "Now that I told you that, can you tell me why you're showing up at my doorstep at nine o'clock at night?" You change the subject, and she bites her bottom lip as her foot tapping speeds up. 

"Dad and I got into a fight." 

"Does it have anything to do with your shiner?" You ask, nodding in the direction of her black eye.

"He didn't even try to hear my side of the story!"

"Which is?" You ask, and she very quickly dives into a story of a kid who's been picking on her all year. She said she told Joel what was happening, and he said something about ignoring it or talking to the teacher, which wasn't working. Apparently, the kids' parents are some big-shot tech people the teachers don't like dealing with, so they were just gonna let him do whatever until the end of the school year. Today, he said something along the lines of Sarah's mom coming back and Ellie's mom never being able to.

"And I never even knew her! But that's still my fucking mom, and I know how sensitive Sarah is about Angela, and I just got so angry that I hit him. A lot." She says like she's waiting for you to argue with her, but you can't even imagine yelling at her after hearing that. You open your phone and open your notes app.

"What's your teacher's name?" You ask. She tells you, and you have to take several deep breaths to stop yourself from finding the teacher's phone number and calling him to ask him if he thinks it's acceptable for a student to taunt another student's dead mother. "I'll call the school on Monday, okay? That kind of behavior is disgusting, and you were justified in what you did." You say, grabbing her hand and squeezing. She nods and smiles softly as she looks at you, her dark brown eyes looking right through you. 

"You know, I don't usually like most of the people my dad dates," she says. "But I really liked you." Her use of the past tense cuts deep inside you, and you swallow thickly.

"Yeah. I like you too," you smile. "But, just because your dad and I aren't together anymore doesn't mean we can't still hang out or talk. I still care about you and your sister, and I've got quite a few movies I still need to watch." You say, and she nods, but there's something sad in her movements. You wonder if Joel told the girls about Ireland and how they reacted. Even if he didn't, Ellie is smart. She sees the boxes in your living room and the stuff piled together. She knows something is happening. Something that will impede future movie nights and emergency visits in the middle of the night. She shifts in her seat and lets go of your hand to tug at her ponytail, effectively retracting from you.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Did you love my dad?" She asks, and you bite the inside of your cheek, shaking your head. You think about lying or just not answering her question altogether, but that's not fair. She opened up to you. She trusted you, and you know what it feels like to have that trust broken or not reciprocated. You stare into her eyes and try to not get emotional.

"Yeah, I did." 

"Did you break up because of us?" 

"Honey, no. No, not at all," you say, perching on the edge of your chair so your knees are touching. "Your dad and I... have very different lives and schedules, and we tried. We really, really tried, but I don't think the timing is right for us. I don't know if it'll ever be right for us, but you and your sister had nothing to do with why we broke up, okay?" You say, slouching a little to get in her eye line, and she nods. "When I found out about you guys, I wasn't scared or intimidated. I was excited because your dad only ever told me how beautiful, and brilliant, and amazing, and kind his daughters were, but when I met you, you exceeded all that. You and Sarah have become two of my favorite people on this planet, and there will never be a time when I don't cheer you guys on or want what's absolutely best for you. I mean, if I didn't like you, do you think I would've opened the door?" You ask, and she laughs. The sound makes you smile, and you put your hand on her knee. 

"You, Ellie Miller, are going to do incredible things, and I can't wait to watch it." 

"Thank you." She says softly, and you nod. There, in your kitchen, you share a quiet moment with Ellie where neither of you needs to say anything more. The love says everything you can't bring yourself to voice just yet. If you squint, you can imagine what her mother must've looked like. All big eyes and toothy grins and wavy hair. But even without any actual Miller DNA flowing through her veins, you see Joel, too. You see how he raises his eyebrows or can't hide what he's thinking to save his life. You see his smile. You see his kindness and anxiety. You see all the best parts of him. This time with her feels like a warm hug, as much as a goodbye. Nostalgic and sad and welcome all at the same time. You don't know when you'll be able to sit at a table with Ellie Miller and just stare at her again, but you know if you never see her again, you can count yourself lucky to have met such an amazing young woman. She must make her mom so proud.

"You know I have to call your dad to tell him you're here, right?" You ask quietly, and she nods. You sit there for another second before grabbing your phone and walking into the next room to call Joel. Your heart pounds in your chest as you stare at his contact information, a picture of him with his tongue out still set as his contact photo. You took it on Facetime when he was still in Texas. He was complaining about how his stomach hurt from eating too much barbeque, and he was pretending to be dead. Even after everything, it still makes you smile. You press the call button before you lose the courage to do so. He picks up on the second ring.

"Hey, I can't really talk right now. Ellie and I got into a fight, and she ran off, and I don't know what to do. Has she talked to you? Do you know where she might be?" He says quickly, sounding frantic as he shuffles with something on the other end.

"Yeah, she showed up on my doorstep about thirty minutes ago. She's fine. A little upset, but she's safe." You say and hear him sigh with relief. 

"Thank God. Okay, I'm comin' to get her. Can you keep her there until I can get to your house?"

"Of course."

"Thank you," he says. Neither of you immediately ends the call, but you don't say anything either. You can hear him breathing and imagine him standing there, flush with worry, and grinding his teeth despite the number of times you've told him to stop. It's the closest you two have been in weeks. "I really fucked up." He finally says, and you take a breath.

"All the best parents do."

"Yeah?" He asks, that familiar lilt returning to his voice. Your heart squeezes, and you nod.

"Yeah. Reminds your kids that you're human too."

"I guess," he says. It's quiet for another five seconds before he clears his throat. "Thank you for takin' care of her."

"She's a good kid."

"Yeah, she is." 

"I'll..." you start. You know you're talking in circles but don't want to get off the phone. He waits you out. "I'll see you soon." You finally say, and the phone moves against his ear.

"See you soon." He says, hesitating before ending the call. You exhale and stare at his contact photo for another second before locking your phone and walking back to the main living area. Ellie has moved from the dining room table to the couch, an old leather-bound book in her hands. You tilt your head to read the title. Much Ado About Nothing. One of your favorite Shakespeare plays that you never got to do. You perch on the edge of the couch near Ellie and smile when she puts her book down to look at you.

"That book looks older than you." 

"That's 'cause it is. It was my dad's in high school." She says, and you look at her, confused. 

"What?"  

"Yeah. He said his music teacher bought it for him or something. Dad really liked him. Wrote his name down in the acknowledgments in his first album and everything." She shrugs like it's nothing. Suddenly, you're back in New York with Joel, his hand over your heart as he listens to you recite a centuries-old monologue.

"He told me he didn't study Shakespeare in school."

"He probably didn't want you to know he's a massive nerd. He loves it. He made us go to the Globe Theatre when we were in England. It was actually pretty cool," she yawns. "I'm tired. Can I go lay down in one of the beds until my dad gets here?" 

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, that's fine. My room is up the stairs and to the left. I just got new pillows, so that'll probably be the most comfortable." You say, your brain still struggling to piece together what she just said. She yawns again and gives you a thumbs-up before standing with her book in hand and disappearing up the stairs.

Joel told you he didn't know anything about something you, apparently, both love. Why? Was he quizzing you? Was he trying to figure out if you actually know what you're talking about? Or was he trying to get another perspective? Did he pretend not to know so you could explain it to him in your own way? How the fuck did you not know? You want to call and ask him all these things, but you don't. You wait.

You rotate between anxiously pacing your living room, checking on Ellie (who's snoring in your bed with the book open next to her), organizing and reorganizing your stuff into boxes. Anything to keep your mind busy until Joel can get there. From the time you ended the call to when your front door opened and closed quietly, twenty minutes had passed, but it felt like a lifetime. Joel walks into the living room like it's his own house and smiles when he sees you, looking around the room for Ellie. He wearing his own glasses and a plain black shirt with jeans. The bags under his eyes are prominent, and his hair is messy. He looks exhausted.

"She went upstairs to lie down and fell asleep. I didn't want to wake her up." You answer his unspoken question, and he nods, his shoulders visibly dropping.

"No, that's okay. I'm glad she's gettin' some rest," he says, sighing deeply. "Did she tell you bout our fight?" 

"A little bit, yeah," you say, and he grimaces. You glance between the place where you and Ellie were sitting and him. "Do you wanna sit?" You ask, and he nods. Carefully, without even grazing each other, you sit across from him and stare at him. You don't know what you're supposed to say. You don't know if you're supposed to say anything. 

"You still doin' that movie with Pike?" He beats you to it, and you nod. There's no frustration or anger in his question, only curiosity. 

"I leave for Ireland in two weeks." 

"Ireland's beautiful." 

"It is." You say, not sure how else to respond. He shifts in his seat and looks at his hands as he nervously taps a rhythm into your table. 

"Thank you again for takin' her in and makin' sure she was safe. I really appreciate it." He says.

"I'm just happy she knew she could come here."

"Me too," he says. "Can we... do you wanna... I just need to say I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, but I did, and I'm sorry. I should've been better and more honest and less of a dick. You didn't deserve that." He word vomits, and your fingers twitch to reach for his. You take a deep breath and stare at him, watching his emotions play out behind his glasses.

"Thank you for apologizing," you say. "And I'm sorry, too. For everything. I wish things could be different."

"We could start over. Maybe try again," he says, his voice sad like he's trying, but he knows your answer won't change. "I don't... I don't know how to do this. But I wanna learn. I wanna learn for you." His words cut straight through to your heart, and your eyes flutter shut. You pinch the inside of your thigh to stop tears from forming, and take a shaky breath. He doesn't rush you. When you open your eyes, he's staring at you like you hung the moon and the stars.

"Sarah's gonna need you as she figures her mom out. It's gonna be hard, and she loves you more than I've ever seen a teenage girl love her dad. Ellie's gonna feel out of place, and she's gonna need you too. It wouldn't be fair to any of you to add this," you gesture between the two of you. "To that mix. It'd be too much. None of us would feel good about it. We'd all walk away a little burned and lot pissed off. I don't want that for us." You say, and he nods.  

"It's a nice dream." He says sadly.

"It is," you agree. "Can I ask you a question?"

"'Course." 

"When did it stop being fake for you?" You ask. He shakes his head, and his Adam's apple bobs.

"It was never fake for me. It just took me a little longer to figure out," he says, and you pinch your thigh again. "What bout you?"

"Texas," you admit, only a little ashamed at how late your answer is in comparison. "When you called me every day from Texas. That's when it stopped being fake for me," a tear spills from your eye, and Joel wipes it away before you can. His thumb is warm and familiar, and you almost lean into his touch before it can disappear completely. "This sucks."

"Yeah, it does."

"Do I, at least, get to know what songs on the newest album are about me?" You joke, and he laughs. He presses his lips together and rests his head on his hand as he looks at you.

"All of 'em," he says. "All of 'em are about you. Bout meetin' you or the way you talk in your sleep, but a lot of 'em are about New York."

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah."

"That was a good time," you say. "Ellie, um... Ellie told me about your trip to the Globe Theatre. Told me all about how much her dad loves Shakespeare," he chuckles like a kid caught with candy, and you smile. "Why'd you tell me you didn't know anything about it?"

"I don't know," he shrugs. "I really don't. I was thinkin' bout it the other day, and I just remembered seein' how much you loved it. Your eyes got real wide, and you got so excited, and I just... wanted to hear you talk about it. I think I would've stayed there with you all day if I could've." He says. You have to look away from him to hide to tears pooling in your eyes. 

This shouldn't be this hard. You're supposed to meet someone you love, and nothing else matters, and you get to be with that person forever. It's hard, but you get your whole lives to figure it out together. Who did you hurt in a past life that took this opportunity away? It's not fair. You want to rip the sky apart and scream at God and demand an explanation. You want someone to blame. You want more time. You want him, and not just the good parts that made you fall in love with him. You want the broken and ridged parts he's still hiding from you. You want the parts he hates. You want to lay them out on the table and show him you don't flinch when they catch the light. 

He puts his hand on your shoulder as tears fall from your eyes, and you sniffle. His thumb presses soothingly into your skin, and you let him. You shouldn't, but you do. You don't fall into his arms and sob like you want to. No, just like every juncture of your life thus far, you let yourself cry quietly and without fuss because there are things to do. And when you're done, you turn to look at him and see tears staining his cheeks too. You cover his hand with yours and squeeze his fingers, and he takes a deep breath.

"What are we gonna do now?" He asks. You pull his hand off your shoulder and hold it in your lap, both your hands covering his large one. You smile through your tears and kiss the top of his hand.

"I'm gonna go to Ireland, and you're gonna release your album. It'll hit the top of the charts overnight, and people will be singing your praises from the rooftops and speculating on what different songs mean like they always do. I'll lie in interviews and say I haven't listened to it, but I will because it'll be yours. You and the girls and Tommy'll go on tour, and I'll be there filming, and we'll try to talk when we can, but our schedules will get in the way until we don't think about each other all the time. I'll probably lose my mind because it rains so much in Ireland, and you'll go from selling out stadiums to crying at Sarah's graduation. And we'll both work way more than we should. And life'll go on like we were never really here," you say. "And maybe one day, when we're in LA at the same time, and nothing is stopping us and our schedules align, we'll get a coffee. And we'll talk. And we'll try again." You wipe Joel's tears away and try to keep yourself from falling apart. 

"I'll mark it on my calendar." He says, and you laugh. You squeeze his hand and nod.

"I'm counting on it, Miller."

You sit there for a few more minutes before you stand and hug him. It's quick. It has to be, but it's enough to settle your heart for a moment. Joel goes upstairs, scoops Ellie in his arms, and carefully carries her out to his car. He buckles her in and turns on the air conditioning so she doesn't get too hot in the California night. You stand outside, watching him be a dad, with your arms crossed over your chest. He shuts the door quietly and walks over to you.

"I hope you have a lot of fun in Ireland." He says sincerely.

"Thank you," you say. "I hope you have a great tour."

"Thanks," he nods. He looks over his shoulder to check on Ellie in the passenger seat before turning back to you. "I should get her home. She's had a long day."

"Of course." 

"I'll, uh... I'll see you around, okay?" He asks, and your heart jumps to your throat.

"I'll see you around, Joel." With that, he walks to the driver's side door, and you walk back toward your house, the space between you growing and growing as you get further away. Your chest hurts, and you know you're gonna go inside to cry some more, but you don't turn around. Not until he calls your name.

"I love you," he says from where he's standing in front of his truck. "And I don't expect you to say anything or change your mind, but I wanted you to know. I love you." Your hands are shaking, and your throat feels like it's tightening, but you manage to give him a weak smile.

"I love you, too." 

And then, he gets in his car and drives away with his daughter in the front seat. You go back to your empty house and your piles of stuff, and you cry, and in the back of your mind, you think, if I never speak to Joel Miller again, I think that's okay. I think it has to be.

[cramathonn]

Masterpost

Status: Closed

Hello, dear stranger on Tumblr. You may call me Cramathonn or Cram. I am just a silly guy who wants to write about his favorite characters casually, accepting requests every now and again. I prefer to be referred to with he/they/it pronouns, eventually the neos bomb/bombself.

Instead of sharing the fandoms of which I will most likely write/yap about, I will share the characters in specific, for I find it easier and less stressful for myself. That way, I won't feel obligated to write for charactes I'm not that interested in.

I will write for gender neutral and male readers only. However, when requesting nsfw scenarios, please do specify if the reader is afab or amab, solely for clarification and to make my writing experience easier. If not specified, I shall try my utmost to make it as generalized as possible.

However, if you desire to see some of my art, please go back to the main blog, @cram-cram ! I have recently wiped its history so uhhh yeah. An archive blog is tagged on the intro post if you wanna see my old stuff tho!

Without further ado, back to this blog and the info about what I write:

Green means go

★Fluff, angst and NSFW are all game

★Gore is on the table (be aware for my gore writing is VERY explicit)

★In NSFW content, majority of kinks are ok, the ones I won't do will be specified later

★Platonic and romantic scenarios

★Poly relationships!

★Monster x human

★Heavy subjects such as abuse and mental health (all with their due care and respect)

Red means stop

† Dubcon and noncon are a no go

† Watersports and age regression are a red in NSFW (if more surface, they will be added here)

† Very big age gaps! No thank you!

† Incest (not even stepcest)

† Character x character (more of a "don't feel like it" type of thing)

As for writing styles, you might get a drabble, a headcanon or a one shot. It all depends on my mood and how packed that week/day is for me. Please be aware that I am a college student and have a job, so I will be very very slow with publishing stuff.

Sensitive subjects will be properly tagged, so please pay attention as to not trigger yourself.

Now, finally, the list of characters I am currently obsessed with and desperately want to write about/read about. The sources to which they belong to will be in parentheses.

The menu

Billy Kid (ZZZ)

Anton Ivanov (ZZZ)

Grace Howard (ZZZ)

Rina (ZZZ)

Seth (ZZZ)

Qingyi (ZZZ)

Jane (ZZZ)

Kafka Hibino (KN8)

Reno Ichikawa (KN8)

Iharu Furuhashi (KN8)

Meursault (Limbus Company)

Heathcliff (Limbus Company)

Gregor (Limbus Company)

Rodion (Limbus Company)

Outis (Limbus Company)

Welt Yang (HSR)

Kafka (HSR)

Gallagher (HSR)

Chilchuck (Dunmeshi)

Kuro Kiryu (ES)

Rinne Amagi (ES)

Scar (Wuthering Waves)

Yuanwu (Wuthering Waves)

Yinlin (Wuthering Waves)

Please keep in mind that I haven't met Yuanwu in the story yet and that I haven't finished the main story of Wuthering Waves! So those two characters are the ones I am least familiar with.

These are the characters for now. This list will be constantly updated, with additions and removals always being a possibility, so please do keep an eye out! If you want to check if I write for a character, don't be afraid to ask! I tend to be rather forgetful, so ask away.

If you simply want my take on a headcanon you have about one of the aforementioned characters, please do send them! I love debating about headcanons and sharing my thoughts (I am a yapper at heart)

There will be no masterlist! However, the posts will be tagged by fandom, characters and writing style. So, if you came looking for specifics, clicking on my profile and using the desired tag should filter everything properly!

As to differ random yaps from requests, here are the following tags you should look for:

#yappingdemon → for headcanon debates and just me being absolutely deranged/insane about something (mainly a character or game)

#storytellerdemon → for actual writing, be it headcanons, scenarios, drabbles or oneshots

This masterpost will be tagged as both yappingdemon and storytellerdemon, to mark the beginning of both categories in the blog.

Thank you for your attention and for considering requesting from this blog in the first place! Yapping request shall always be open, however request status will be updated both here and in random posts, so please do keep an eye out.

I wish you a pleasant timezone

- Anxious Demon

[27dragons]

Quiz Meme thing for people over 50 - via @gilajames

1. Name one body part that doesn't hurt: my elbow (who gets that reference? but really mine doesn't hurt. at least not today.)

2. Were you able to answer #1 because you have taken ibuprofen recently? Nope, I haven't been able to take ibuprofen at all for a few years now because I'm prone to ulcers. (I also haven't taken any tylenol/paracetamol, because it straight up doesn't work for me for pain relief. It lowers fevers, but that's it.)

3. Name one activity you are greatly relieved you don't do anymore because fuck that shit: change diapers and otherwise deal with any (literal) shit that isn't my own

4. Have you gotten at least eight hours of sleep in the past five days. (Not each night, just total.) Oh yeah, I average about 6.5 hours a night and on the weekends sometimes it stretches to seven!

5. Name one song that is NOT forty years old, what the fuck. The 1980s were, like, twenty years ago. Fuck you, the 80s were like, five years ago at most lol. That said: The Hamilton soundtrack, and also "Panic" by David Ford. Those are only like 10-15 years old.

6. Do you remember the last time you got carded (not counting 'we have to card everyone' places.) If we're not counting "card everyone" places, then I have never been carded. When I bought booze legally for the first time on my 21st birthday, they did not card me. Apparently I radiate an aura of "yeah she's old enough."

7. Name one musician that you keep hearing their name but have no clue what their music is. My Chemical Romance, I guess (I have a general idea what the music is but I don't know that I've actually heard it. I could be wrong about that I suppose but I definitely didn't know it.) I'm not really a music person, this is a lot of music questions for me.

8. Have the celebrities you loved as a kid started dying of old age? A few but not too many yet.

9. Have the celebrities you loved as a teenager started dying of old age? Same.

10. When did you start listening to the Oldies station? Another music question? I mean, I listened to the oldies station when I was in frickin college because I don't care about music and that was the station my boyfriend at the time liked. I really only listen to music in the car, and after I dumped that guy I switched to listening almost exclusively to tapes, CDs, and music downloaded to an iPod/phone.

11. Have you told a younger co-worker any form of the phrase "wait until you're my age/older/hit your 40s, then you'll..." Not really, though I've done the "wait until you have kids who are [age] thing to younger co-workers, and commiserated with co-workers of similar age about all the shit that hit us after 40.

12. Do you seek out older co-workers so you can quote something at them that they will get? Nope, because I am a work-from-home introvert. :D

13. Would you rather just stay home? At least 85% of the time, YES.

14. Have you reached the point that for birthdays, other gift-getting events, you say "I just don't need more stuff"? No, because I love getting gifts. When I was young, my mom told me she didn't care what was under the Christmas tree for her, she just loved opening presents. Seriously, one year when I was like 14 I got her a 6-pack of socks and wrapped each pair individually and she LOVED it. I thought she was crazy then, but I get it now. Anyway the only people who get me actual gifts these days are the Things and I'm not going to discourage them because they're so fun.

15. Do you often find yourself saying "I remember when" and you describe something so completely foreign to Life Today that you wonder if you made it up? All the FUCKIGN TIME

16. Did you look at this list at the beginning and hope it was a short quiz because you don't have time for those 50 item lists? Lol no because this counts as social interaction for me these days.

My fellow "old" tumblrs, join in the fun! (Or don't, I'm not the boss of you.)

[inkovert]

Things I want to do in 2024

I've never been the type to make resolutions and I know we tend to put more weight on them than they actually are meant to have, hence why we never follow through with them. So! I am attempting to just make a list of things I am hoping to do in 2024. very low stakes. not going to think of these as goals, just things I want to do. and hope that I follow through with some of them.

Health-related

Planning my meals and keeping a food journal: I've been on a health journey for about the past year and I want to try to get back on track with that and be more consistent with it. I've been trying to be more consistent with preparing home cooked meals rather than relying on frozen meals/eating out, eating 3 meals a day etc, and that's been going well so far, but it could be better. I think one way to help myself be more consistent is planning my meals out (not like meal-prepping just literally being like this day I'm going to eat these things so I have a more structured "menu" vs throwing things together in my head the day of). I think I also want to start keeping a food journal. I peeped that iOS added a Journal app to the new software and I might try that out to see how useful it would be for food journaling, doing things like documenting my mood around the times I eat, what I eat etc.

Find a new dentist and start flossing: When I say I've been on a health journey over the last year I really mean in every possible way you can think of lol. Dental health was one of them. I've made a lot of improvements but I'm so prone to getting cavities that I think I could make a few more. I am one of the 60% of people who do not floss every day bc I found it hard/time-consuming/unnecessary. But I started doing it a couple weeks ago and... it wasn't so bad? I was pretty consistent with it until I went home for the holidays and that fell to crap bc I couldn't find the floss I had packed. anywho. I want to continue to be consistent with that and make that a habit, in addition to finding a new dentist bc the last one I saw was a bit too...assertive and I didn't like their staff so decided never to go back there again.

Personal/things that actually make me excited

Decorate my room: lol. Can you believe I've lived in my apt for two years and I've yet to decorate my room (even the bathroom has some stuff hung up on the walls). I literally have the decorations sitting in a pile by my bedroom door collecting dust. So yeah. I wanna actually do that. Tbf what stopped me before was that I wasn't confident I'd be able to stay in this apt for long. I thought for sure after a year they would jack up the price and I would be forced to move. But, we're now going on three years and things have been fine so I should actually properly decorate the place.

✨ Get a tattoo ✨ The sparkles are because this is probably the thing I'm most excited about on this list. I have wanted a tattoo for as long as I can remember. And I finally decided last year that I was going to say fuck it and get one. But unfortunately the finances weren't financing so it got delayed. But it's happening this year!! For sure!!! Hopefully in the next few months!! I need to stop delaying it and just do it!! So yeah. I've made my best friend keep me accountable each step of the way so I can stop procrastinating. So she gave me a deadline of Friday, 1/5 to at least have a list of tattoo artists I'm considering. We're doing this!!!

Actually leave my house and spend time in places I enjoy: Since my two closest friends moved away last year I haven't had a lot of incentive to go out and do things. So I've just been spending a lot of time at home by myself. And solitude is so nice. So comfortable. So blissful. But I need to end that. Or at least cut down on it a little. There are things I actively want to do in my city but every time the weekend comes I end up staying in my house doing nothing for 2 days straight. And it's been great. But I need to push myself to actually go out and do things by myself. Go to live music concerts, hang out at bookstores or coffee shops. Just something to have a change of pace and environment. I know I will be better for it. I'm gonna challenge myself to go out by myself at least once a month. If I do more? great. But we're starting small.

Writing-related

Track my writing: I'm not going to push myself to have word count goals or anything like that because I think that would be counter productive and take the fun out of writing for me. I actually wrote a lot last year (I just calculated it - 174, 817 words according to Scrivener; kinda insane can't remember the last time I wrote that much in a year) so I don't think I have issues with word quantity or writing enough and if it ain't broke don't fix it! But I do want to track my writing a little more closely. I just think it could be fun tracking the stats behind it and looking back at it at the end of the year. and also maybe help me continue this consistency with writing that I've suddenly developed?

Write something for fun: I can't tell you how much it hurts me that I don't have any fun/silly projects that I can work on on the side that I don't care about getting perfect. I think it will be nice and freeing and challenge my writing chops a bit to write something completely out of my comfort zone, totally absurd, and purely for my enjoyment. I've just been too crippled with fear to even try and idk why. I want to do it so badly but I struggle with coming up with ideas (and with working on more than one thing at once). We'll see it if it happens. this is just a list of things I want to do who knows if I'll actually do them.

Finish the second draft of MDE: just gonna throw this one in here out of obligation. refer to the last sentence of the previous bullet point. I wrote half of it in a year, maybe it's possible to write the other half in a year?

If you made it this far, thank you for reading. gonna come back to this in 6 months and see if anything I listed here actually panned out lol

[prsk-krow]

HIHIII!! You’ve been my fav writer on here for a while noww so I’ve been thinking of requesting and i finally thought of smth !! I was wondering if I could request n25 with a reader who covered one of their songs??

love your fics!!! Byebyeeeee

{Niigo with a reader who covers a song!} [P]

Kanade Yoisaki

Kanade is always honored to have people paying attention and showing positive responses to her songs, so imagine her pride when she sees covers of them online...

Especially seeing you, who she has known and has shown her songs before to, publishing a cover?? She didn't see it coming at all, and was shocked by the sudden nature of it all!

She was just scrolling through her channel, looking for replies and feedback to see what her fans thought of her newest piece when she sees the cover on the recommended list! It caught her attention immediately!

She listens to it, and she's taken aback by the emotion packed into every lyric! Even though you didn't write them, she could tell that they meant something to you, that it wasn't just pretty words and sentences, but there was a soul behind it all!

She makes sure to leave a comment on your cover. After understanding the feelings you were conveying through her song, she couldn't help but feel satisfied with her own work, at least this once...

That cover was truly something special. I could feel the emotion behind every word, and the way you conveyed them was something that resonated with me. I'm honored to have caused such emotions with our work, and I hope to see you experiencing them with our future ones.

Mafuyu Asahina

Mafuyu hadn't really thought about the aspect of others really admiring her songs that way. She didn't make it for that reason, so she never gave the aspect of her fan's reception much thought.

That's why she doesn't think much of it when you say such nice things of her songs! She hadn't meant to show off her work to you, but once you learnt about it you couldn't help showing off your appreciation!

And that's also why it takes her by surprise when she sees a cover of one of the songs she created alongside her group sudden uploaded to your channel! You showed it to her in hopes of learning what she thought of it!

She was surprised when hearing that a cover was made of her song! Did the people hearing it like it this much? She always saw a lot of compliments on the comments but didn't think much of them. But this? She never really understood why having covers made was so touching, but in that moment, it clicked.

"Ah, I'm glad that you enjoyed it so much! Fufu, but to go through all that effort, you must have really been touched by that song, huh? It shows through your voice in this video! I can tell, even though it's my first time listening to it."

She simply smiled and thanked you for the cover while thinking to herself, just how their songs affect those who hear it... She has already smiled at a demo her friend made, so the feelings that a complete one can convey... She might need to learn more about what her fans do.

Ena Shinonome

Ena is one of the members who cares most about the reception that their fans make whenever uploading any new songs! She mostly does this to search for stuff that she could fix about her own parts, but also enjoys the compliments quite a bit...

However, she doesn't really expect her online, musician life to connect with her irl one! So when she suddenly sees one of her irl friends posting a cover, she is just plain surprised!

Sure, she had heard you complimenting the songs that they made, but she didn't think much of it! Especially as you continued to praise the music and lyrics, both of which she didn't create. However, now that she sees the cover...

"You... We're serious about that?? U-uh wait! I'm not really reprimanding you or anything! I'm just... Shocked, that's all! Um, I haven't really heard your cover yet, but... I don't know, it still feels out of place, and... Jeez, you really want me to give it a listen, huh? Fine, fine!"

She does listen to it eventually, and she's, once again, surprised! You, one of her irl friends, putting such emotion into her song?? She needs a few moments to take it all in for sure, but once she does, she sends a message telling you how good you did!

However, she also sends a few tips on how to do a bit better, since she can tell that it wasn't perfect! After all, she has always strived to be better at the things she liked, and she thinks that with such passion put into your vocals, you might be the same!

Mizuki Akiyama

Mizuki is quite amused by their fanbase, so they check up on the content that they produce every once in a while! They can't help but feel proud that their work can cause such inspiration for others to create as well!

They absolutely adore watching the creations that arise from their own! After all, they were the one who managed to strike a gold mine with the painter, so it's no surprise that they love fan content!

However, as soon as they find your cover of their song, they're immediately on the phone, sending you the same link with a teasing message alongside it! They can't help but find it so interesting that it's actually sort of amusing!

To start teasing you even more, they start listening to the cover itself, and that's when they realize just how serious you were about this! Feeling the intensity in your voice, in the way you express every word...

"What, are you still mad at my teasing?? Come ooonn, you know that I didn't mean it that way! By the way, your cover was great! It was amazing to hear just how much passion you put into every verse! Hehe, if I knew you were this spirited, then maybe you could volunteer to be the main vocals for our next song..."

Of course they continue to tease, but not before letting you know just how well you did! They feel slightly guilty for just taking your cover as a joke at first, but their support afterwards makes up for it, even if they may not think so!

[happy-lemon]

Get to Know Me - Sims Edition

I was tagged by @papermint-airplane, who you should follow if you're not already.

What’s your favorite Sims death?

I didn't think I had an answer for this because I don't usually kill my sims...and then I remember that the first story I posted on tumblr was a Black Widow Challenge. I think my perennial favorite is the old pool with no ladders trick, which got harder in Sims 3. But if you put cones and caution tape around the pool while someone is swimming... I mean, how did they miss those warning signs when they went swimming? *walks away whistling*

Alpha CC or MaxisMatch?

For Sims 3 I like Alpha hair, skin, makeup, skin details, etc, but I don't mind a lot of the EA clothes. With the right texture or pattern, some of those things can be really cute. And really...I guess it's the same for Sims 4.

Do you cheat your sims weight?

In Sims 3, no. In Sims 4, it's situational. I don't have an issue with overweight sims. I'm overweight myself. But it drove me bananas when Noa, an active sim who swims every single day for her job didn't lose the baby weight. So...sometimes?

Do you move objects?

Absolutely. It's the bane of my existence that you can't pick up and move sims in Sims 4.

Favorite Mod?

My favorites are all the toddler mods by @thesweetsimmer111.

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?

Livin' Large for Sims 1. I bought the first game for my kids and we just kept going from there. Now, I'm the only one who still plays. My first experience with the franchise goes back to playing Sim City on a Macintosh computer in college, so now you know I'm super old.

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing

aLIVE

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

Okay, so if we count sims born in-game, then in Sims 3 it would clearly be Keahi Solomon. If that doesn't count, then I'd say Ciaran Delaney. For Sims 4, it would be Travis Stephenson.

Have you made a simself?

I don't think? If I did, it would have been in my Sims 2 era, but I don't remember doing so.

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

My favorite is almost always pale blonde, either Sims 3 or Sims 4. I rarely use it because I'm super aware that I could easily overuse it.

Favorite EA hair?

None of them in Sims 3. In Sims 4, I like the casual side braid.

Favorite life stage?

In Sims 3, it's toddler. All day, every day. Gimme those adorable toddlers! In Sims 4, the baaaaaaabies. OMG. The babies. I can't get enough.

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

I haven't gotten the hang of building in Sims 4 yet. Everyone says it's easier but I find it kind of daunting. I enjoy building in Sims 3, but I wouldn't consider myself a builder. Which is a long way to say... gameplay.

Are you a CC creator?

I'm not. I wish I had that skill.

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?

I do have Simblr friends! At least I think we're friends? And I became friends with @papermint-airplane through the Sims 3 sub on Reddit.

Do you have any sims merch?

I don't, but I think my daughter might still have the plumbob flash drive somewhere in the depths of her closet.

Do you have a YouTube for sims?

Trust me, no one wants to see that.

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?

Not a lot, really. I'm still a storyteller (I used to write Sims 2 stories on the TSR community forum) but I'm trying to get better at screenshots.

What’s your origin id?

It's not really worth sharing because I don't do anything online.

Who’s your favorite CC creator?

There are so many that I could make a list, but I tend to return to B5 Studio stuff time and time again. I have the entire Grant Park collection and if I make a house that doesn't have one of their doors, please make sure I haven't been kidnapped.

How long have you had simblr?

I think about a year and a half? I really only started it so I'd have a place to post screenshots that wouldn't get downvoted to hell, and I found a really fun community. Y'all are the best.

How do you edit your pictures?

I have zero photoshop skills so I just try to go for composition, angles, and lighting and hope for the best. Doesn't always work, but sometimes I get some bangers.

What expansion/ gamepack is your favorite?

Sims 3: University, because it has my beloved Jeffery Dean.

Sims 4: Growing Together, because baaaaaabies!

I'm tagging @nectar-cellar, @rebouks, @llamaheart, @erasabledinosaur, @getboolpropped, and @elderwisp. If you've already done it, this message will self-destruct in five second. And if you haven't been tagged yet and want to do it, consider yourself tagged by me.

[thessalian]

Thess vs The Purpose of Demos

With it being Next Fest on Steam and everything, I got to thinking. Because, like, most AAA companies won't actually give you demos anymore. I think the last one I saw for any of the franchises I actually like was Mass Effect 3, and I would have bought that game anyway (though honestly, I would have bought it on the strength of the demo too, so hey).

So while I was walking out to the shops (taking a break in the weather that has been incredibly bipolar today - bright warm sunshine to torrential rain and thunderstorm with little in the way of transition), I got to thinking about how many games I've picked up on the strength of the demos alone the last few years. Now, I've played around 90 demos according to my looking over of my "Thess vs demos" tag (though I'm sure I'm missing a few), and a fair few of those I haven't got simply because they're not out yet. So ... here's the list of the ones that I have picked up, solely on the strength of the demos, either from memory or from my demo tag:

Dredge (pre-ordered, one of my favourites)

Wylde Flowers (played under a different name, again one of my favourites)

Spiritfarer (another favourite)

Grim Tides (bought both games in the series on the strength of the demo)

A Building Full Of Cats (Devcats is awesome, and I just keep adding their games onto my wishlist on the strength of that one demo)

Logic Town (I have over 200 hours on that damn game and it is my ultimate Zen)

I Was A Teenage Exocolonist

Growing Up

Witchy Life Story

PACK MY STUFF

Sapiens

My Dream Setup (think this one was a gift)

Lake (this one was definitely a gift)

Fabledom

Boxes

Interior Worlds

Locked Up

Book of Hours

Room of Depression

Cook Serve Forever

Fall of Porcupine

Stray Gods: The Roleplaying Musical

Harmony: The Fall of Reverie

Street of Secrets

Venba

House Flipper 2

Code Vein (gift; not my fault I can't play it due to janky keybinds)

WitchSpring R (was fine until they made it controller only post-demo)

So that's more than a quarter of the ones on the list. Of those, sixteen aren't even out yet, five of the ones I played were more up front about requiring a controller than the two at the bottom of my list of purchased games, three timed out before I got around to playing them, and at least thirty didn't make the wishlist at all, either because too janky, not my thing, or other priorities. The rest ... well, the rest and the "not out yet" is why my Steam wishlist is exactly 130 games big.

It makes me sad, honestly. AAA companies will do all the flashy marketing stuff and prevent any reviews from coming out until at least release day, pushing for hype-based pre-orders and refusing to let anyone know what they're actually getting. Meanwhile, here's me buying all manner of games I'd never have otherwise heard of, much less touched, based on Steam going, "LOOK! DEMOS FOR GAMES!" Half the time I wonder if it's that they have no faith in their product. Then I remember that it's more that they don't care; they just want as many people as possible to buy it immediately on release if not sooner. They're perfectly happy to put up any barriers they can to an informed purchase for ... just as a for-instance, people like me, who is literally unable to play certain games and really need to have any given game in my hands for at least a few minutes to figure out whether a game is one I can play or not.

But ... like ... take Veilguard, for instance. It doesn't look like one I can play. Watching the gameplay left me with a migraine that still hasn't 100% quit yet because of all of the camera movement, and the ARPG feel of the gameplay looks like something I might find it fairly painful to do - maybe even impossible, depending on the day. But if I could have it in my hands, see the accessibility options, find a playstyle I could work with, I would be a lot more inclined to buy it. Now I have people all over reassuring me that the accessibility options will surely be enough (even though they're actually refusing to talk about those in Q&As at the moment) and that of course I'll find a playstyle that's right for me ... and yet I have the memory of playing the closed beta of Secret World: Legends and being unable to play. Of getting Code Vein and finding that the limitations they set on changing keybinds means I can't use an entire ability suite. Of buying WitchSpring R and having to return it immediately upon starting the game because while the demo didn't require a controller, the finished game did. Getting Jedi: Fallen Order and discovering just how ARPG it is and how hard it is to find keybinds that work for me given my limitations. Of having a game I really want - actually owning it - and being unable to play because of things I didn't know before I bought the thing (or it was bought for me, which is somehow worse).

So ... yeah, I'm frustrated that the AAA gaming space would rather obfuscate with marketing hype instead of letting us make an informed decision, with the end result that I either avoid games for a long time (if not forever) ... or risk ending up with a new addition to the collection of very expensive games that I only find out after the fact that I cannot play.

...Basically, MORE DEMOS, PLEASE.

[ladybugjournal]

New Chapter: The Planning

31 July 2024

Growing up, I never liked changed. I hated when things were moved around in my play room, I hated when I changed schools, I hated things I couldn't control. I still hate when I'm not in control, but I'm working on it. Now, I'm actually excited for the changes that are coming in my life.

Soon I will be moving, and then I will be moving again, and I have a lot of feelings about this. The main reason I'm moving, the real big change is that I'm going to Grad School! I've decided to get my masters in creative writing, and I'm excited for that.

The first move will be when my lease is up at my apartment in the hills (not The Hills TM). That move will come around November. I'm excited and scared, but ultimately, I know this is the best move for me.

My current living situation is not sustainable, it hasn't been for a while. Honestly, it hasn't been great for the past couple years, but I was blinded by love and trusted people who were lying to me and playing games with my head. It's corn dipped in cheese but that quote "betrayal doesn't come from your enemies" is so fucking true and I hate it.

I don't want to get into the whole thing right now, that is a story for another time, but I will say, in relation to this move, it's important. I know this will be better for me, it will allow me the freedom to take the next steps and not have extra stress because I'm walking on egg shells and not feeling safe in my own home, and also it will allow me to save money.

I'm planning on moving back in with my parents for a while (the couple months from the time my lease is up until I get into a program and move to that school). I'm going to try and transfer so I can keep working at the job I've had for the last five and half years. I wouldn't be paying rent (my parents are generous and want me to be able to save money, but I'm planning on helping out with groceries and whatever they'll let me pay for). But it will be good. I'm excited.

I'm applying to a bunch of schools (I have a list that I'm narrowing down right now). I'm leaning more towards the east coast, lower populations, small towns, forests and shit. I think I want to be around nature. I've lived in an over populated city/county for the last six years and I'm ready for the underpopulated. I want space to breathe, space to write, space to just be me. I need to slow down. I need the quite.

Also, if I'm under-stimulated my creativity will thrive because I will need to keep myself entertained. Plus, I'm aiming for a 4.0 (or at least graduating with a higher GPA than the 3.66 I graduated with in undergrad). Honestly, anything 3.8 and higher I will be happy with. So, less distractions would be nice.

I think I also just need to be by myself. I haven't been by myself for a very long time and I think we need to get to know each other again, become friends again. I've already started working on getting to know myself again. I've been journaling (by hand and here), and I've been having adventures on my own again. I think the best part about this is that even when I'm alone I don't feel lonely anymore. So, I'm calling that a win.

Okay, enough with the sappy shit, here is the plan:

September trip

Apply for grad school (applications are not open yet 😖)

Pack stuff I won't need for like 2 months (and take it to my parent's house already)

Tell my roommates I'm moving out at the end of our lease (and hope they don't explode on me)

October trip

Transfer request

MOVE

Start next steps for Grad School :)

This seems... doable.

I feel a little out of control, mainly because I'm just doing a lot of waiting. Waiting for the applications to open, waiting to hear back, waiting for my lease to be up, waiting to hear about my transfer. And yes, there are things I'm doing while I'm waiting. I'm preparing my portfolio and getting editing my submissions, I'm packing and planning, I'm going on trips and spending time with friends, but I'm still just waiting. I can't move past the next step because it's not time yet.

This is really turning out to be a training in patience. I'm not an impatient person, at least not an obnoxious impatient person. I'm fine to wait in line, I'm fine to sit in a car and drive for a long time to the fun destination, I'm fine to wait for a trip or something, but I like to be moving forward. I hate being stagnant , especially when I've decided on something.

Alas, I must wait, might as well plan and maybe try to distract myself from spiraling with creativity.

Wish me luck, Ladybug

[nightmyst14-blog]

Trying this out by writing about my Cookie Run Werewolf AU (I dont have a name yet, soon I hope). Just seeing it would be fair.

Everyone in the photo are listed in the pack, with White Lily being the lader.

Keep in mind, Human names are used in this Au. Ypu got a question, feel free to ask!

Here we go!

“C’mon Gabe, keep up!!”  Arthur said, with a grin, running through a forest, a white haired boy following him. He was covered head to toe in mud.

Wait up, Dad! “ The kid said, laughing.

Nah buddy, if you want to be the fastest, keep running!” He said.

They soon ran up to a 2 story cabin that sat in a small clearing in the woods, where a light blonde in twin braids stood there. The two ran up to the porch where the kid placed a hand on the stair railing.

“I win!!” Gabriel said triumphantly, falling on his butt to catch their breath.

“Phew! Good job, Gabriel! Got doing a workout…” The man said, handing on his knee as he can feel his heart practically beat out of his chest.

“You’re late, Arthur. .” The blonde woman said, looking at the dirty blonde with her usual annoyed stare. “Its past evening. You know better than to your pup running around this late.

“Sorry, April. Me and Gabe got distracted while visiting the border. We this awesome mud pool and couldnt help but try it out.”

“Mud bath!!” Gabe said, throwing his arms up, mud splatting onto the porch. The woman named April shook her head.

 She sighed. “ Go inside and clean up. That means you too, Arthur.”

“Hehehe, Okay. C’mon little buddy!” Arthur said, leading his son inside. Beatrice was sitting in the living room on the couch, reading a book. She hid a smile under her book as she saw the two walk in. “You all visited the mud holes on the way back, didnt you?’ She asked.

“I'm getting faster this time, Mama!!” Gabriel said excitedly, seeing Arthur walk up to the couch.

“Yup, Gabe beat me here. 2nd time this week!!” Arthur said, trying to lean in for a kiss on the cheek, but Beatrice held her book up to his face.

“Oh no, you’re not kissing me while dirty with Vidalia on my lap.” The noir haired woman said, pointing to the baby on her chest. They were holding a stuffed rabbit as big as them. “I heard April. Upstairs, both of you.”

“Awww, Bea…” Arthur said as he led his son upstairs.

Two more people soon come inside. A tall grey-haired man with a smaller woman who was carrying a crossbow on her back.

Have you seen Leader Pandora?” Ashton asked, bringing a deer he and Bethany caught that afternoon. 

“She’s visiting the Valley today, trading some of the vegetables for some of the pack’s honey.” Beatrice spoke up. 

“Clemont and Lillian went with her.” April said, shutting the door behind her. Mei-Mei and Kina had just come back, carrying bags of stuff. 

“Got it.” Ashton said. He slung the deer over his shoulder, heading downstairs to the basement to break it up.

“We’re back~” Kina announced through the house.

“What in the world have you got in there?” Bethany asked, raising an eyebrow. “Don't tell me you haven't another clothes donation box.”

“Oh don't be silly, Bethl! This time we went through one at a thrift store!!” Kina said, soon dumping the bag on the table. It was full of baby clothes. “Pick whatever you like, Beatrice!”

Mei-Mei giggled, clinging to her mother. She was excited to help.

Beatrice looks through the clothes, holding them up to her pup to see if it would fit or not. She soon came across a purple nightgown, with a matching headband. 

“This one.” She said, setting it aside. 

“Awesome! I’ve found some great stuff. I even found a dress for April.” Kina said, holding up a light blue one.

“ I have no need for it.” Aprill said flatly, She rarely left the forest anyways, except for important things.

Oh Cmon!!” KIna replied. “It will be fun! Besides, you gotta at least have something nice in youe wardrobe. You dont wanna be-”

Soon there was howling in the distance, making everyone look up.

“Leader is back!!” Mei-Mei said, running outside.

April immediately goes out to the porch, seeing her sister and relatives walk up to the house.

April walked over to the trio, greeting them by resting their forehead and nose together, a custom in their pack.

“How did everything go?” She asked.

Pandora smiled, holding up a basket. “Yes. we got three jars of honey.”She said. “Is the rest of the pack awake?”

“Yes, they are.” April replied.

“Tell everyone to come outside. Pack Meeting now.” 

April nodded, showing heading back inside.

After 10 minutes, the entire pack was out of the porch, mostly the adults. The pups, except for the newborn Vidalia, were told to stay inside. Pandora stood in front of them, smiling a little.

“Good evening everyone.” She said. “As you know, this month’s Full Moon meeting will be starting in less than a week. We will be having our summer games there too.”

The group cheered, Bethany and Arthur high-fiving each other. They were in last year’s foot race against Winter Mountain's pack members. Hopefully they win this time.

“This time Arielle is going down,”Bethany said with a grin. I’ve been training all year!”

“Heck yeah! But I heard they got a new member last month.” Arthur added on.”  I fear for Ashton during the tug of war competition.”

Ashton shrugged. “I just like to participate.”

Pandora laughed. “ Also, my daughter Liliian is turning 17 soon. Her first hunt is soon, but it will also be held at Unity Lake, where the Full Moon meeting is being held.”

“Nervous, Lil?” Clemont asked his sister, nudging her.

“Kinda, but you and April did it so it shouldn’t be too hard.” LIllian said.

“Nah kid, you got this. You get to hunt your first deer. Always a rush.” Arthur spoke up.

“Will it be a competition?” Beatrice asked Pandora. 

“No. It will be our own thing while we’re there.” She answered. "One more thing. We seem to have run out of salmon and bass in the meat box. Would someone like to run to Half-Cresent River and trade with them? Raise your hand, I need two people..”

“I can go.” Kina said, raising her hand.

“I will as well.” Beatrice said, raising hers.

“Nah, Bea, Vidalia isn't even teething yet. I can go.” Arthur spoke up.

“I’ve been in the house for 3 months since our pup has been birthed. You watch her this time.”

“But-”

Arthur……” Beatrice growled, glaring at him.

“Alrighty then.” Arthur said, feeling her mate’s glare burn his skin. He didn’t want to argue.

“Alright so, Beatrice and Kina will head to Half Crescent River.” Pandora said. “Well. that’s all that needs to be discussed for now. Talk to me if you have any questions. I guess I can call this meeting done for now. You are all dismissed.”

Hope you guys liked it.

Dont worry, random shenangians are still happening, not changing that. Just wanted to try something that wasnt me just placing comics here (still like doing that, its fun.)

[gaykey]

So, Only Friends. Haven't watched it yet, but from the gifs it looks like there's a whole season of stuff happening in just one episode. What's your first impression?

oh anooooonnnn, it is jam-packed! now, i have a lot of feelings about this show, as you probably can tell, so, prepare for an essay.

a lot did happen in ep one, but of course, as it's the pilot, most of it is dedicated to introducing the characters, and their relationships and establishing the setting. and, as these characters are a hugely messy bunch of twenty-somethings, there was a lot going on.

and it was done so well, i felt fufilled after ep, bjt also, desperate to see where it all goes.

my first impression?

genuinely, i think it is gonna immediately be in my ult list of bl's, and a definite milestone for the industry as a whole.

now, thats sounds a bit grandiose, especially after only one episode but, idk, i have a good feeling.

but, it is seriously good. i think our hype was worth it.

it hit all the points that a first episode should, and showed off what each actor was capable of.

it had your mind going mad a little trying to think how it's all gonna pan out. it just? made me feel really excited for what's to come.

there's not a single story arc that i'm not interested in, and ngl, that's rare for me.

and like, queer dramas like this aren't too common, especially on a network like gmmtv. they've delved slightly toward edgy and sexy before, but not to this level.

of course, this is down to the brilliant p'jojo, the director - who also directed other stand out shows 3 will be free which i have watched, and loved, and the warp effect which i haven't watched, but have heard really good things.

p'jojo is a queer man himself (most of team behind this are queer in fact. this is a show for queer people by queer people.) and it really shows in his work. he brings forth discussion of topics that other bl's dont. his shows are mature, and real, and dark, and gritty.

he tends to broach topics, that are still quite taboo in society, especialy for mainstream thai media - or, at least thai media of this kind, which tends towards the silly, fluffy side, which tbh, is also a nkce contrast to the doom & gloom of a lot of gay media in the past. but, he shows issues like sex work, substance abuse, mental health, sex & sexuality - things that queer people may experience, but, who's stories get dismissed as too? dark to be protrayed for a wide audience in the bl sphere.

so, the direction and overall production is stellar, as is the cinematograhy (thanks p'rath), and the cast-!

omg, again, it's only ep one, but, wow, they're so fucking good.

they're all really flexing their acting chops in this one. and they are going all out, to the point where another director of bl dramas, p'aof (moonlight chicken, tale of a 1000 stars, bad buddy) was gagged at their performance

these are characters and roles that most fans would have never seen them on before. it's only recently, as of the last few years, from my experience anyway, that these actors are being taken seriously for their talent.

and only friends is pushing the boat out even more.

so, direction a+

story a+

overall look a+

acting & cast a+

now, all of my feelings could maybe be down to that first ep hype - but i don't think they are.

this is gonna be great. this, like kinnporsche, and itsay and not me, and a select few others, which were all signifcant moments for thai queer dramas - will be a cultural reset.

and i am soooooo excited to make it my entire perosnality for the next 12 weeks.

[demons2003]

My Boys (Chapter 7)

Series List

Y/n's Pov 

When we finally get to Dustin's house there are lots of van's parked out the front and people walking around holding boxes from the house. The boxes looked like they contained some of Dustin's stuff but I wasn't too sure from the distance we are at. We all get out of the car and Hopper uses his binoculars to look closer at the men. I try to walk towards the house but Jonathan grabs my arm and tries to keep me away from it all. Nancy also jumps out and tells us, "I have to go home." "No, you can't," Hopper says to her. I just continue watching as they pack Dustin's stuff into all the cars, wondering where the hell my cousin could be and worrying about him. What if they found him? What would they do to him? I have to find him as quick as possible. No one will hurt him.

"My mum, my dad are there!" Nancy tries to convince him but Hopper just tells her "They're gonna be okay." Nancy starts to walk away but Hopper pulls her back, trying to stop her from leaving and getting into trouble. "Listen to me. The last thing in the world we need is them knowing you're mixed up in all this," Hopper tries to reason with her. "Mike is over there..." Nancy fights but Hopper isn't having it. "They haven't found him. Not yet at least." Him pointing towards a helicopter that is in the air not too far from where we are parked right now. This is really serious now. What the hell have the boys gotten themselves into? "For Mike?" Nancy questions in a high-pitched voice while Hopper drags her back to the car. "And probably the other two boys as well, he isn't special," I whisper to myself but Jonathan seems to hear as he turns to me and gives me a questioning look. I just roll my eyes and look back over to Hopper and Nancy. Hopper almost throws Nancy into the back while the rest of us get in normally.

Hopper turns back to Nancy, Jonathan and I to ask us, "Look, we need to find them before they do. Do you have any idea where they might have gone?" Looking between the three of us. "No, I don't," Nancy snaps at him while I look out the window thinking. Hopper tries to force an answer out of Nancy but she doesn't know her brother at all. Not surprising really, Mike and Nancy were never close. It seemed like she hated him most of the time. There are so many places they could be right now. But where would they go if they were in trouble? Their houses would be out so where else would they go? Oh wait, maybe we could... "I have an idea!" I randomly express. They all turn to me as Hopper asks me where they could be. "I don't know where they could be but I may have a way to ask them. We need to get to my house right now!" I explain. Hopper nods his head and speeds the whole way to my house.

When we finally arrive I jump out of the car while it's still slightly moving and race to the front door. I love Dustin like my brother, nothing will keep me from protecting him and keeping him safe. When I finally get the door open I run in and go straight to my room, everyone else trying to catch up to me. I rummage through my bedside table, looking through everything in there until I finally find my walkie-talkie. "Ah ha, I found it!" I exclaim before I turn back to everyone. I hold it in my hand and turn it on, holding down the talking button thingy that Dustin had told me to use when he first gave it to me. "Dusty? Are you there? Dustin?" I speak into the walkie. "Dustin? Please, it's y/n," I continue to ramble. If he doesn't answer I don't know what I'm going to do. "Dustin, if you're there, I need you to answer me now! This is an emergency!" I slightly snap and my voice breaks slightly, getting more nervous as the silence continues. Jonathan comes up behind me, placing a hand on my back, trying to help me stay calm. I turn to him and give him a worried smile. "Dustin, do you copy?! I really need you to answer me Dustin," I slightly cry near the end.

Hopper grabs the walkie from my hand and snaps at the boys, "Listen kids, this is the chief. If you're there, pick up! We know you're in trouble and we know about the girl... We can protect you, we can help you, but you gotta pick up. Are you there? Do you copy? Over." We all sit there in silence, waiting for the boys to say something, anything at this point. "Come on boys," I whisper to myself, Jonathan giving my arm a quick squeeze. Hopper puts the walkie down and asks us all, "Anybody got any other ideas?" We all look around at each other when we hear through the walkie, "Yeah, I copy. It's Dustin. I'm here." I smile so wide and almost run to the walkie. Thank you, Dustin. "We're here," He whispers into his speaker. "Oh thank god," I say as I put my head in my hands, holding back my tears. I couldn't be happier to finally hear his voice again. Knowing that he could be safe.

Hopper picks the walkie back up and asks them, "Where the hell are you?" We needed to get to them quickly, we couldn't have those people finding them first. "Junkyard, inside the bus," Dustin answers him. I walk over to Hopper and grab the walkie from him. "All of you stay there, I'm coming to get you as fast as I can. Don't do anything stupid and stay safe until I get there. Got it?" I tell them, hearing a chorus of yeses from all the boys. "Being the babysitter helps for once," I turn to everyone in the room. Jonathan laughs but no one else seems to find it funny. I roll my eyes at them and continue, "Let's go, the faster I get to them the faster we can finish all of this crazy stuff I'm still trying to work through." They all nod at me, I quickly grab the gun from my dresser and we all rush back to the car, driving as fast as we can to the boys. 

Hopper decided that he'd drop Nancy, Jonathan, Joyce and I at the Byer's house and he'll come back with the boys himself. "No, I'm going with you. The boys trust me more than anything and I told them I'd be the one to come get them. They won't go with you unless I'm there as well." Hopper tries to fight me on it but realises pretty quickly I won't back down and I'm right. He drops the other three off and we start our drive to the boys again.

Sometime later

We finally pull up to the junkyard and I jump out of the car and head straight for the bus. I needed to know Dustin was ok and hold him in my arms to help myself feel better. Hopper grabs my arm but as I turn to yell at him he points over my shoulder. I look over to see three men looking around the place, one really close to the bus. I walk over to him quietly while the Hopper goes to deal with the other two people. Just as the guy starts to open the door of the bus I bring my gun up to his head and hit him with it. He falls to the ground while the Hopper works on the other two. I pull the door the rest of the way open and walk in, finding the boys and the girl hiding behind the chairs. "Y/n!" Dustin yells and runs into my arms. I wrap mine around him and stand there a minute, not wanting to ever let him go again. "All right, let's go," I hear Hopper say next to me as he walks into the bus as well. None of the other boys move until Hopper yells, "Let's go!" All at once, they grab their bags and we're exiting the bus. We all climb into the car and Hopper starts to drive us back to the Byer's house.

The whole drive was silent, no one talking about anything. I had an arm around Dustin the whole time not wanting him to disappear on me. I wasn't letting him out of my sight, not until I knew for sure that nothing was going to happen to him. Once at the Byers we all get out of the car and Joyce, Jonathan and Nancy all meet us outside the house. "Mike, oh my god Mike!" Nancy raises her voice as she runs over to her brother and gives him a hug. So she does care for her little brother. That's slightly weird to me. "I was so worried about you!" Nancy snaps at him as she pulls back from him, keeping him at arm's length, much like I was with Dustin. "Yeah, uh... me too" Mike awkwardly says. Nancy looks over to the group and seems to really look at the girl that was with us. "Is that my dress?" She finally asks. "God now's not really the time to figure it out," I whisper to myself but Dustin hears me and laughs a little. I softly punch him in the arm to shut him up, trying not to laugh with him. "Let's get inside," Hopper interrupts, breaking Nancy's focus. We all quickly walk inside and sit at the table. "Ok, so what's going on?" I ask the boys and the girl.

Mike starts to explain how they'd found this girl, Eleven, in the woods the night after Will went missing. She had powers and was trying to help them find Will, knowing that he wasn't dead when they'd found the body as they heard him on the walkie-talkie. Hopper tried to ask questions there but Mike kept explaining what had happened. He continues to talk about there being another world like Hawkins but it was, what they called, the Upside down. He explained a way to possibly get to this place but it was starting to really confuse me. I was a nerd but I wasn't really a science nerd, never really understood how it all worked. He showed us an acrobat and a flea on type rope, the flea upside down and the acrobat the right way up. He says that we were the acrobat and that Will and Barb were the flea. "And this is the Upside Down, where Will is hiding. Mr Clarke said the only way to get there is through a rip of time and space." Mike explains further. "A gate," Dustin tries to add to help as they really don't understand what's going on. But probably know more than me at this point in time. "That we tracked to Hawkins Lab," Lucas adds in as well. "With our compasses," Dustin explains further. My head is going to explode from all this information.

We all look at them really confused, not 100% understanding what they were saying. "Okay, so the gate has a really strong electromagnetic field, and that can change the direction of a compass needle." Dustin tries to explain further, somehow I understand that. "Is this gate underground?" Hopper asks the boys. They all turn to him and Eleven answers with a yes. "Near a large water tank?" He asks her and she says yes again. I look at her confused, why does she know so much? How did she get so involved in all of this? "How, How do you know all that?" Dustin asks Hopper. Good point. "He's seen it," Mike answers for Hopper. "Is there any way that you could... that you could reach Will? That you could talk to him in this.." Joyce asks looking at Eleven but she interrupts, "The Upside Down." "Yeah," Joyce agrees. This is getting really crazy. Eleven nods her head. "And my friend Barbara? Can you find her too?" Nancy asks her, Eleven nodding to her as well.

Mike grabs out a walkie-talkie and places it in front of Eleven. She closes her eyes and we all wait, the only noise being heard being the static from the walkie. The lights flicker but come back as Eleven opens her eyes and whispers, "I'm sorry," to Joyce. Joyce becomes confused and asks, "What? What's wrong? What happened?" "I can't find them," Eleven breathes out, her voice breaking. Joyce lets out a heartbreaking noise as Jonathan wraps his arms around her, stopping her from collapsing. Eleven then gets up and heads to the bathroom. I couldn't stand anymore and fall onto the couch, thinking about everything that's happened in the past 24 hours for me.

I knew nothing about what's been going on these past few days. I knew Will's disappearance was weird and something was going on but not something this crazy I wouldn't have thought of something like this. Everyone else knew about all of this and had been processing it for days. I had barely a day to catch up and understand what was happening to us all, making my head want to explode. Dustin comes over to sit with me, putting a hand on top of mine. "Are you ok n/n?" He asks me. I let out an almost cruel laugh, shaking my head. "Not really buddy. A couple of days ago everything was completely normal, nothing weird was going on, besides Will's disappearance. Now I find out everyone I care about was messed up in this crazy ass thing. I just can't take it all in yet, not in one day. Give me some time though. Then i may be somewhat ok," I tell him and pull him into a hug. I get why no one really told me what was going on, but it made it so much harder to try and wrap my head around everything. I was going from 0 to 100 in such a small amount of time. I can't crack under the pressure and information I've been given today. Not when everyone is so focused on it, I need to deal with it all myself.

Dustin pulls away from the hug and walks back to the table where all three boys are standing around it. "Can you explain what happened?" Jonathan asks the boys, him also standing around with them. I stay on the couch and watch from there, not really wanting to get involved unless I can help. "Whenever she uses her powers, she gets weak," Mike tells him. "The more energy she uses, the more tired she gets," Dustin adds on. "Like, she flipped the van earlier," Lucas tells us. "It was awesome," Dustin coolly says, but I know he's freaking out on the inside from how cool it would've been. "But she's drained," Mike continues. "Like a bad battery," Dustin explains to us. "Well... How do we make her better?" Joyce asks the boys, wanting to find her son as soon as possible. "We don't. We just have to wait and try again," Mike tells her. Great, more waiting. I fucking hate waiting right now. I just want to do stuff. Get it all over with. Get everything back to how it used to be. Though it may never be normal again. "Well, how long?" Nancy asks her brother, probably wanting to move as much as I do. "I don't know," Mike slightly stutters. "Just great," I whisper to myself, no one hearing me because I was so far away from everyone.

Everyone deflates a little when Eleven comes back saying, "The bath." Joyce turns to her and asks, "What?" "I can find them. In the bath," Eleven tells everyone. Cool, some good news for once. We all look at her confused, not understanding what she's trying to tell us or how the bath will help her find Will and Barb. I walk over to the table to join everyone else as she starts to explain how she used a tank in the lab to go into the Upside down without really going there. That being in the same environment, like the bath, could help her to find Will and Barbara so much easier.

All of a sudden Dustin runs to the phone and starts to call someone. "Who are you calling at this hour?" I ask him but he just waves me away, completely ignoring my question. Little shit. Everyone sits or stands around the table looking at him, confused about what he could be doing. "Mr Clarke? It's Dustin." He answers. Why is he calling a teacher right now? He can't help us with all of this. "Yeah, yeah, I just, I... I have a science question," Dustin finally settles on saying. "Do you know anything about sensory deprivation tanks? Specifically how to build one?" He asks his teacher. Oh, this is gonna be good. "Fun," Dustin says, trying to find a way to explain what this it's for. "You always say we should never stop being curious. To always open any curiosity door we find. Why are you keeping this curiosity door locker?" Dustin asks, making me laugh at him. This is so fun to watch. Nancy looks over at me and glares. Wow, live a little you little bitch. We need to have some fun about the situation we are in. There's a pause between Dustin and Mr Clake. Dustin then runs over to the table, asking for a pen and paper. He and Mr Clark then spend some time talking about what's needed in order to make a sensory deprivation tank. When it's all finished Dustin says goodbye and hangs up the phone.

Eleven looks at him curiously and he says, "Do you still have that kiddie pool we bobbed for apples in?" Pointing to Joyce. "I think so. Yeah," She answers him. "Good. Then we just need salt. Lots of it." Dustin continues. "How much is lots?" Hopper asks, it's important to know. Dustin looks down at his notepad and says, "1,500 pounds." "Well, where are we gonna get that much salt?" Nancy asks the obvious question. We couldn't just go to the shops and get that much salt without getting asked a lot of questions, questions that we can't answer. We all think for a second about how we could get that much salt. "The school!" I yell, everyone slightly jumping at my outburst. I was just happy to help and I seemed to scare everyone else. "Yes, let's grab that pool and head to the school," Hopper says and we all quickly get out of the Byers' house. Joyce, Hopper and the Kiddie pool get into his car and the rest of us get into Jonathan's, all of us heading to the school to finally find Will and bring him back home to us all.

[deeisace]

Right then so then

Plan for tonight

Pack a laundry bag for tomorrow, sort through my wardrobe (cs I didn't get any further than my documents box the other day) at least - and 1/3 clothes drawers if I can, then also draw out a floorplan of this new flat and make a furniture-wanted list

Tomorrow then - laundry, shower, sort all 3 clothes drawers as poss., top up lecky, go chase up docs about T, ring my current landlord again to get an answer if I can stay til 27th instead of 24th (they want me to pay that three days rent if so, but have not said if I can or not yet. To quote mum - "wankers")

General list, poss weekend jobs - get original moving boxes off the cupboard tops, sort through art cupboards and pack up what needs careful (ink paint canvases) in said boxes, sort through books,,, clean all of kitchen, I still haven't chucked the old blinds the landlord's workmen didn't bother to, so that,

Idk what else

Oh! Refind and resend all my referencey stuff to the new landlord people, cs it's a new flat application, so even though they've already got it they need it again (?????). Tomorrow, cs writing this list took most of my remaining brainpower tbh and I'm still not even home

[i-cast-teatus-deletus]

Clothing - Pajamas (Part 1)

I did a phenomenal amount of legwork when it came to pajamas. There are tons and tons of websites out there that sell "plus size pajamas" and it turns out they go up to a 2X, also a 2X on their size chart is a US 16/18. Most of the search results for the first WEEK OR TWO didn't result in anything appropriate that was ALSO made of a tolerable fabric. I know exactly how long a recycled polyester pajama bottom is going to last, unfortunately. If this is a pair of pajamas that you likely won't use again after you've recovered, it's less of an issue, but I am trying to buy stuff that's a little more durable than that.

So you can imagine my shock and delight when I came across Land's End. I recognized the name, but I had never purchased anything from them, and this seemed as good a time as any to try.

Firstly, if you buy anything on the LE website and you're getting anything less than 50% off of the list price, you're getting scammed. They routinely have 60-75% off coupon codes, and usually there's a code already in effect on the website, a separate code for coupon sites (possibly multiples?), and a code for the mailing list at any given time. None of these three is always the best price, it will typically depend on what you're buying, and I highly recommend you try all of the codes at checkout to see if you can lower your total.

I ended up, if you can believe it, putting in THREE orders in a relatively short span of time (7 or 8 weeks, as I recall), mostly buying various clearance items to try them out. Not everything I bought was pajamas, obviously, but I'll highlight the pajamas that fit the theme here

I really loved the flannel pajamas, which are 100% cotton, sold separately as tops and bottoms, come up to a 3X and, inexplicably, fit me PERFECTLY. I'm used to clothes being wrong in at least one dimension, but their 3X is the correct length and everything. I love it so much I went and bought more pairs of flannel pajamas, and I got compliments on the pattern that I chose. It's a really warm and durable flannel, too, not like a lot of the cheap stuff most places use for pajamas.

They also have a flannel sleepshirt, which I also am quite fond of (especially as a light robe), that buttons up the front. I also bought, as mentioned before, a shirt/shorts set of their Tencel pajamas. They also have robes in a wide variety of fabrics, though I haven't bought any of those yet.

If you need to go larger, or find the patterns too feminine, they sell men's pajamas as well, up to a 4X, though I was less impressed with the men's pajamas pants that I bought. The flannel pants I bought in a 4X have been pilling already.

Unrelated to pajamas, though, I did buy some of their men's underwear (boxer briefs) and have been SUPER impressed with how comfortable and durable they are. If you're in the market for boxer briefs above a 2X (like I had been for years), they are definitely a place to look. I also bought a pack of cotton boxers from them, which were also really nice (though I wear them a little less often than the boxer briefs), but especially for surgery recovery (and especially wearing them as shorts) they are really great.

[darkimpala1897]

Another au that I have spaced out thinking about but I haven't written yet

This one is called three jocks and a baby and here's the amazing headcanons

The baby just showed up at Benny's dinner in a car seat with a note attached that said "I'm sorry I can't do this E"

Andy was the one to find said baby he sorta tripped over the car seat and fell face first in the dirt

Jason thought it was some sick joke Eddie was playing like he stole someone's baby or something all because at the end of the note it said E

Yes they took it to Eddie well it was screaming bloody murder and Steve because he's mama Steve just immediately took the poor thing rocking it looking at them like they were the most horrible people on the planet

Eddie being well Eddie said something along the lines of "You do know how sex works, it's needs a man and a woman to create that."

Jason smacked him for that one telling him to qoute on qoute "take it back."

Eddie being well Eddie said "To who God."

Steve well they were arguing made a list of what they needed giving it to Andy

They went to the baby store absolutely confused poor guys and Andy the entire time was holding it away from him like it was gonna bite him or something

Gareth by some odd miracle was there because his mom recently had a baby and he was there getting last minute stuff for her and he just sees Andy walk by holding this poor baby like it's a disease he doesn't know what to do except laugh but also thank god for the hilarious Karma

He obviously went over there and helped Andy hold it the right way well also teaching him the jiggle but no he didn't help them with shopping he just watched finding it hilarious

They didn't know what it was till they changed it which yes they rocked paper sissored it and poor Chance lost they found out it was boy it went something along these lines

Chance gagging trying to keep it together

Jason covering his nose: "God that's toxic that's not human."

Andy trying to keep his lunch down: "Hey it's a boy."

Exactly how that went in my head poor Chance

They called it baby for almost a day intill they read on the blanket in the car seat that it's name was Wyatt

They decided to just keep Wyatt in the Carver's guest house because no they have no idea who mommy dearest is so they have no idea which one of them is the father

Putting the crib together was the funniest thing ever they called it baby jail and it took them forever to put it together because the instructions were in Swedish

Wyatt doesn't even use the crib all that much he either sleeps in someones arms or in the pack and play which was much easier to put together by the way

Jason calls the baby swing they found the holy grail because it gives them two hours of peace at most

Steve comes over every once and awhile just to make sure the kid is still alive that's how much faith he has in them

Eddie gets dragged along for the wellness check were he pretends to not enjoy but he does

Gareth even does a wellness check every now and again because he also has little to no faith in the idiots that are Chance Jason and Andy

The first time they gave Wyatt a bottle was a interesting experience because they had no idea what they were doing Andy was reading from a baby book giving advice Chance was making sure Jason was holding him correctly so he doesn't choke and die Jason was about to start ripping his hair out

Wyatt only spits up on Jason it's the funniest thing at least according to Eddie because to him karma was doing amazing

Andy figured out how to make him laugh about two weeks after they got him he just has to pull his hat over his eyes and say peak a boo it's so cute

Wyatt won't sleep unless Chance hums Baba O'Riley by The Who to him

Steve enjoy's babysitting for them he just loves kids

Even though Jason, Chance and Andy are curious about which one of them is Wyatt's father they actually don't really want to know

They take him to the aquarium like it's the cutest thing ever

Should I write this in the future or just leave it in my head?

Peace✌️