#and i keep thinking i'll be okay later and then i kinda just. yknow.

[joohanisms]

idk if you wrote about this before or not but thoughts on taking junhans virginity 😭😭😭

i haven't!!!!!!! tysm for the ask so i have an excuse to <33

(half written before i went ia)

mmm first of all i think hed actively look for someone inexperienced to date while hw himself was inexperienced

less space for disappointment yknow how could hw disappoint you when you kinda just .. dont know better literally

but then he ended up w you <3 who actually does have some experience and its kinda nervewracking for him, he's not gonna lie

he's been putting it off for so long – sure, it only took a couple of dates for you to make out and your hands to wander. the way he tentatively gripped your ass made you want him kind of desperately.

but it never went past that. a while later, when the topic of making things official came up, his cheeks blushed a deep red while he looked down at his feet.

"ah, before we, you know, start dating for real... i thought you should know." and fuck, you think. there it goes. there's the catch. "i'm not too... experienced. actually, i've never had sex before. i don't want you to be disappointed if we get to it and i'm not any go–" his mouth is sealed shut as you kiss him firmly, hands cradling his face.

"you're stupid. i don't care. nothing of what you just said would ever make me lose interest," he wants to avoid your eyes, hide his face, but the way you're holding his flaming cheeks in place won't let him. "at most, it just makes me happy i'll be your first."

and since then, he's been avoiding – more like procrastinating, to be fair – getting sexual with you. the most you've done so far was dry humping each other on his sofa while his apartment was empty (that is, until one of his roommates opened the front door and he jumped out of his skin).

you don't want to push him, so you wait for him to come to you.

(but if anyone asked you whether you were fingering yourself in the shower thinking about him, you wouldn't be able to deny it.)

the next time he got to escape from his dorm and visit you and your blessedly empty tiny apartment, he has you on his lap, the movie playing on your laptop long forgotten.

you didn't notice anything before – he was the same hyeongjun as always – but now you can see how his hands are shaking and how he keeps taking deep breaths seemingly out of nowhere.

you detach your lips from his, studying his face. this makes him more nervous, the poor thing. did he do something wrong? is he this easy to read?

"hyeongjun, are you okay? you look like you're going to pass out." you try to leave the comfortable seat that is his thighs, but his hands shoot up and grab your waist, holding you down.

"hyeongjun. you're shaking. have you eaten? let me grab you a cup of wa–"

"i'm fine."

"really? what did you have for lunch? did you have enough? or did you have too much?" you can't help but worry for him. he's already a skinny guy, but you can't be too careful knowing how much time he spends online.

"i swear i'm fine! i'm just..." he trails off, looking at everything in your room but you. one of his hands leaves your waist to fiddle with a loose thread on your comforter. once again, you wait for him to come to you – he likes that about you, how you leave him to find ways to express himself instead of dragging it out of him. his tone is soft when he eventually finishes, "i'm just nervous, that's all."

you cup his cheek in an act of comfort, looking at him like he's some kind of baby bunny, small and defenseless. he finds he doesn't mind it too much.

"nervous about what, baby? what's on your mind?"

"i was thinking," he finally lets go of your waist to play with his fingers, "maybe it's about time we, uh, you know, fuck."

jesus christ. your tummy does a backflip at his wording.

"you know i don't mind if we don't, right? i'm fine with how things are now." you slide your hand down his neck and shoulder, and some braincell vaguely makes him think that you're not doing anything to help him go against having sex.

"but i want to," his response is eager and he backtracks, "if you want it too, i mean."

your mind is so clouded with the thought of not only having him, but also to have you be his first, that you don't even respond before you're pressing your lips to his again.

" of course i do."

[streaminn]

Are these your OCs?

What's the story about?

thanks for asking anon

also yeah, they are my oc's! (kinda)

big ass ramble below so read at your own discretion

originally, the guys (blue hair and white hair) were my personas/characters that i played back when i streamed but then i got distracted by wednesday and switched over to doing all this. Now they're my ocs! Meanwhile, the cloud personified? is my friend's

we've just been shipping the two together because its fine

Drai (blue hair) is a being who needs to kill to live. As in, he's sculk. If you know minecraft, there's this block in the later updates where if you kill a mob on it, it would grow from the xp absorbed. I took that idea and ran with it. So drai is iven sentience after absorbing what is essentially the 'life force' of the beings that died on him. Soon, he possesses a corpse and goes through life, adventuring and killing.

Until he stumbles across a stronghold and gets greeted by a god, Lati (the cloud), telling him to stay away from the portal and basically does their best to spook him. It doesn't work and they get to talking

they end up becoming roommates and catching feelings

except here's one unfortunate thing. Lati is a god, a god who has mentioned that they don't feel things the way people normally do and yknow, if you're a decent guy, you simply accept that it is what it is and move on. Drai tries to do so but unfortunately, his heart is too filled with their name and oh is it so hard to move on from a being so tied close to his soul.

Then he dies.

amazing no? i would explain it some more but i'll simply show you the snippet i wrote

Drai and lati lore? Who knows honestly, im rambling rn CW: Drai lowkey dies (not really) and an inhuman's thoughts on it

Its been a few lifetimes since then, maybe two? Since Drai has been seen around the smp Why? Well! Its because he's dead, kinda? Maybe? All you need to know is that he's gone, completely It was a tiny thing to note that Drai isn't human. He's sculk possessing a dead body after all, his conciousness a miraculous byproduct of absorbing too xp/life force of people from before. He's used to fighting, to absorbing more life during his troubles until he settled down in season 1. Except he never realized that it was xp keeping him alive and when he finally hung up the blade once in for all, he would take on the mantle of dead man walking too literally once more. Lati doesn't feel in a way people do, there is no indignant anger at the realization that they were losing Drai. Simply acceptance because isn't that what life is? For a concept, the laws of reality has always been something they've been intimately aware off but there's something that tingles in their chest as they stare at their dying … companion. Drai smiles alot. All crinkled corners at his eyes and teeth bared. Its a comforting sight, a routine for Lati to always see whenever they pass by the other in the dungeon hallways. There's an ache at the thought that there will be a time where they will see that smile for last time. They simple didn't realize it was that soon. Clearly, Drai didn't realize it either and when he did, it was far too late. (Lati didn't realize time passed that quickly, not till Drai stumbles like a puppet with no strings. A sack of potatoes dropping and hitting the floor in a sound that echoes around their head) Curse him, Lati thinks as she stares at the boy. He was practically a new born fawn with the way he stumbles upright, clinging onto the wall with a hand as his mortal mind finally dawns with reality.

"I think im dying," he says, a tremble in his voice as the revelation settles. "But- its okay," he tries to reassure, before his lips pull into that same stupid smile as if they were the one about to knock on death's door. "I always come back." He isn't wrong, Lati thinks. His origin as a parasite allows him some form of faux immortality but like all things fake, it could never hold up to the real thing. (But what if it could?) The thought is dangerous. Rules are made for a reason, to imply going against them…. Lati can't smile, they could never do it right and Drai laughs about it whenever it happens. It doesn't mean they can't try, it is only fair, no? To give the reassurance that Drai has always given them. This body's eyes squints, doing its best to do what Drai could do best and smile. They shake their head as their lips speak of a truth so bitter that it practically chokes at their throat. "Not this time." And yet, it leaves their mouth with an ease of someone that doesn't know how to feel. A calm sentence with no waver, no humanity, as if her friend wasn't going to leave soon, as if Lati didn't care. But, Lati doesn't feel. They never could so what was… As the day ends and the moon peeks overhead, the dungeons for once in forever is empty and Lati is given a realization. The emerald binding the two of them together glows on their chest, shimmering with an enchantment. Drai didn't know the significance of such a thing, atleast not the true extent. He was simply too nice to know what such a binding gift could do, as far as his mortal brain could comprehend, it meant that if they lost it, it would come back. Loyalty 3 shimmers as their thumb rubs against the galaxtic text. Drai may be gone, but it doesn't mean he has to stay so. They simply have to wait. After all, he always come back right?

anyways, that's godsculk. Simply a parasite in a mortal's body and a god falling in love

After that, we have Sacredgrounds.

See, drai dying brought grief for two lifetimes and Lati, a god who's desperate is willing to do anything. Even attempt to bring the dead back to life.

Except its delayed and the hope turns to pain. Its so bad that Lati physically changes from it, turning stormy at the loss of what's theirs.

Eventually, someone bursts out of a grave. Cain! (white hair) and he's actually the body Drai possesed. He doesn't remember much, only knowing half of what Drai has gone through but he does remember a Lati

but Lati looks different and she looks pissed after Cain ransacked their room for armor. Sure, they get confused for a moment, wondering why Drai looked so different but he's ..larger now. The scars a bit too worse and skin too pale compared to how it was before and it clicks that Cain isn't Drai's reincarnation but rather, an intruder.

it isnt until they see the emerald and feel the pull do they realize that wait a sec, is this.. Drai?

anyways they go from enemies to lovers and i love them, ty for listening and reading my rambling

[goobnnuy]

Alas, more redesigns!

First, Ellie, my beloved but my bane.

Her design has always been a thorn in my side but I really love this! She's got a bit more of a snout so she doesn't look like she's got a flat face anymore!

Can you tell a LOT of my characters are based off of Marina From Splatoon 2 in very small aspects? Mostly just the smile,, I had to use that smile- it's so good,,.,,. Yknow I kinda wanna put whiskers on her now. Huh,, I'll think about that later. Oh btw sorry if you can't read my handwriting,,

VAL TIME!!!

I'm changing a LOT of his colors to reflect his personality. I washed out a lot of em, made em a little more gray and kept the brightest things to be his eyes. His eye design is possibly one of my move favorite things I've ever designed. Actually lemme show y'all

This is his old design but GOD IM KEEPING THOS EYES LIKE LKOOK AT THEMMMM Ouughh Okay post over :3

[dullahandyke]

Hang on actually before I hit post limit.pinned post so I can edit this and have my tumblr thoughts even tho I'm post limited

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6.40PM

Yup okay hit the post limit <3 new followers please know this is normal

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6.47PM

Anonymous asked: did they put bugs in him again

Yknow it's hard to tell but I think they might have. Guys we need to get riku dewormed again, this keeps happening to him :(

Anonymous asked: I forgot I had notifs turned on for your blog . Oopsie daisy

HAHAAAAAAAA ANON I CACKLED.... flattered u have urgent coverage on which large surface I'm thinking abt being slammed into at any given time but ig this is an object lesson in paying too much attention to me or something

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8.06PM

Listening to a queer history podcast and it's so funny they're explaining to me what yuri is... I know ❤

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8.14PM

on my laptop now bcos i gotta study for this stupid test..d. and then afterwards theres a powerpoint im actually rlly gonna enjoy presenting but i gotta facking put it together, augh

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8.51PM

niche complaint but it sucks shit when animanga do the 'character suddenly becomes hot as part of a daydream/joke' gag and they dont go full bishie. give that man a delicate jawline NOW!!!

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9.13PM

really happy with this sticker on my laptop. whenever im feeling down i just rememebr that this man got a lobotomy

[ID: a black frame meme featuring Hajime Hinata from Super Danganronpa 2 at the chapter 1 cabin party, smiling and holding a glass of orange juice. It is captioned, "This man, got a lobotomy.]

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9.18PM

whew im a sneezy girl. the sneezing sneasler. wait thats a pokemon. ritalin on friday unless i have a heart murmur

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9.37PM

@effervescentleaf asked:

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9.39PM

i know im constantly posting abt my beard but its still weird as hell to consider that i have a beard that other people can see. when people look at me they see androgyny. what the fuck. i keep being drawn to people with beards and make-up/long hair/jewelry/whatever the fuck else as my favourite examples of gender non-conformity and like. IM that. im that with my stupid eyeliner. what the shit

also that reminds me im not gonna have time to do my eyeliner before my class test tomorrow :/ now i Could just go without it bcos i'll have a presentation later in the day that i should probably be serious for. but where is the fun in that. i will be wearing a hawaiian shirt instead of a t-shirt and thats all that can be expected of me <3

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9.55PM

i probs need to eat a proper meal but the call of pop tarts it is so great.... sighhhh i got the bread out the freezer for soup so ill see if thats defrosted. and if not. squints. cup noodles. kinda want the cup noodles anyway but the soup is gonna expire soon so i gotta be fuckinnn responsible and nutritious or whatever

sidenote i kind of rlly enjoy having just one long ledger of posts all day. kind of fun

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11.51PM

Ugh fuck my gay life I gotta make a PowerPoint... I'm tired I'm a bit sick i gotta sleeeep... wanted to make it fancy but ig that's fucked :(

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12.01AM

I saw a video of a cat and now I miss bubbles :( bubblesssss... I'm going home tomorrow tho so I'll see her then :)

[sundragon]

We've been in a weird place regarding...us? our life? as a system. It's probably something a lot of systems go through, at least it seems that way to me. As you get older, you think about what the rest of your life will look like more seriously. For us that means being 40, 50, 60, maybe older, and still plural.

Origin discourse takes such a backseat. It's practically thrown out the window. I think it got shoved in the trunk at some point. Of more interest is where are we going with this? We're not hung up on the lives/sources we miss, we're here in the present and mostly okay with it. Now what? Who are we going to be?

And the scary question - can we be content with just us for the rest of this life? Is that what would be best for us, or should we make ourselves uncomfortable and find another physical bodied companion?

But I recognize that shit for what it is, plain amatonormativity. It's gotten to us before. This insidious idea that we have to meet some physical person, and anything else is lesser. It's nonsense. The cognitive dissonance is very real. In our various forms and parts, I've been with Nate for 14 years - that is significant, more than any theoretical significant other.

This came to a fore recently because I just, reminded myself that we do not like people in our space. Doesn't matter if they're friends, and if we invite them. I don't feel like a whole person when I can't be alone in my den each day. Sure, finding a person I can be myself around sounds like a solution, but that's the thing - there is no person who can understand me the way they do, so to try is to fail.

This is the complicated area of the aroace spectrum that we inhabit. It's not a storybook situation. Some parts of it are kinda sad, and by design it means we'll always be longing for each other just a little bit, but that's preferable to forcing ourself to settle. We don't deserve that, and neither would the other party.

Part of that is the fact that for us, a partner is nothing less than another half. If I'm with you, you're half of my whole life. I can be complete without you, but if I'm in a partnership it takes as much priority as my own life does. Dating and hookups are meaningless to me and I'll never bother; entwine our souls or get lost lmao. They can come apart later if they must, but yknow. Point is I don't do casual or halves, your identity matters to me like my own.

That's a tall order, and so far, my brain had to split itself into pieces to make it work. If you want to get mystical about it, you can theorize that I am this way *because* my mate existed beside me once upon a time, and now we're forced into the same get-along sweater. I dunno man, we just work here.

We didn't try to get involved with anyone recently, but everything else just brought these thoughts forward in a way I couldn't keep ignoring, eh.

[spacecowboy6780]

HII !!! LOVED YOUR ART ♡

do your csm ocs have lore? i'd love to read it ! (not me trying to make fanart no how would you think that nooooo of course nooooott)

HAADJKFMKLGD THANK YOUUU SO MUCH 😭😭 i dont know if i really have any good lore yet... im pretty bad at making that typa stuff i kinda just draw things lol

Orion!!

(i draw him a little differently each time dw abt it)

his pants are like- loose at the bottom so not tight fit :)) and he has like black combat boots i guess he's a whole sucker for black and white clothing hehe..

has a tongue piercing and a piercing on his right ear

he has a contract with the fox devil

likes the color white

does mma, anything to do with shooting things, and fishing

barem's right hand man (just a person to do his dirty work lol)

he's wasian, white mom (died during his birth), japanese dad (hates him for his mom's death and makes him try twice as hard because of it)

from a rich family who owns a [blank] company (i haven't decided what yet, i feel like a gun company would work but that's kinda ironic cuz yk)

he was a good child! always trying to meet his father's standards so he could do well, he wanted to be the best because he wanted his father's "love" (it wasn't really love. his father was emotionally manipulative and abusive and only gave him "love" whenever he did something in his favor or good. when he didn't he would tell him how much of a disgrace he is. only to treat him nicely again when he did something good.)

a social bird, made friend easily all throughout his school years, a popular and friendly person. he started to realize he could do whatever during his highschool years, because of his status as the sole heir to his father's company so he started to become more rebellious, going out more, skipping classes, getting drunk, but he always brought back straight A's. he became a rowdy asshole genius typa guy

closeted homo up to college years, he started really embracing his gay then. during highschool and middle school he would date women but he didn't really feel anything for them and would usually break up with them after a few months. he would make up the sweetest and most heartbreaking reasons why and they would forgive him, when in reality he really didn't care about them

his dad was suffering from heart issues as he got older, and as orion got older he grew to hate his dad, he slowly poisoned him with arsenic which led to him having a heart attack and dying!! one day he accidentally put too much arsenic into his food but he was like yknow what it's okay and then made sure to keep the maids away from his slowly decaying father, put him to bed early and tada he had a heart attack

he got away with it cause a) he’s the sole heir to the company and b) if he went to court? 💰💥💰💥💰💥

he met barem at the chainsaw church!! he was curious about it, flyers and all over town so he went to check it out. he got a tour from one of the church members before bumping into him. it was kind of a physical attraction at first, he just wanted to get into his pants. so he got a tour from barem, saying he didn't remember any of it (playing dumb blond stereotype lol). but after talking to him he was like hey wait this guy is also kind of cool and an eye opener (idk what he would've said i'll figure something out) and then he started to reeeeally take a liking to barem. he started to appear more around the chainsaw church, mostly around barem and talk to him a lot but he wouldn't join it. he didn't want to marry a woman. barem asked why he would come to the csm church if he didn't want to join it. orion was blunt and was like to see you ofc. barem was like ???.

sooner or later orion became his right hand man (i'll explain more on how later), or more of a person to just do a lot of his dirty work because he was so willing to do it. he's also willing to pay for all of barem's expenses. lol sugar daddy

ok i think im done for now but ill make like- a better doc for him i think he's like the first kind of fleshed out oc i've made in a while haha!

[creaturefeaster]

Heyy if it's not too much to ask, could you talk about Zack? And Idk... Something with Tay? (I love them, they're my life)

I gotchya!

I'll give the rundown of Zack & Taylor's general dynamic throughout their part of the story, since that seems to be in line with what you're wanting :3.

~*~

Taylor is one of the only people that Zack can't really bullshit-- something Zack really loves to do to a lot of people, mind you,-- and as a result it's something that absolutely drives Zack up the wall. In many ways, but especially in like, yknow, a gay way.

Zack loves a challenge, but he's also good at knowing the limits of people's patience. Initially he chooses to stick around Taylor because he's interested in seeing what he can get away with, and for how long. Taylor is merely a well-known acquaintance to him at the start, and his original intention after the Fault was to use Taylor's practical nature to score free food and supplies for a while without having to put in the 100% effort it would have taken alone. Even that, though, he fails at with Taylor because Taylor quickly has none of that shit with him. So they both end up equally pulling their weight.

Zack and Taylor both don't tend to keep close friends. Zack makes a lot of people think they're his friend, but his real friends would be the ones he keeps some emotional distance on (i.e. like Taylor, before the Fault). Taylor on the other hand is just a bit of a introvert and doesn't click well with most people.

That all being said, you could consider it quite marvel that they continue to stick with each other and only with each other. In a way it could be said that Zack did get to Taylor, because initially Taylor's a pretty straight edge person with rigid morals & a very law-abiding attitude. But barely a month down the line and they're off raising a special flavor of chaos together wherever they go.

It may also be that, deep down past his conscious knowledge, Taylor's favorite kind of person is just someone who can get him riled up. Zack's naughty little tricks and schemes fire up Taylor's brain, but in a way that his post-apocalyptic self kinda loves. He won't admit it but Taylor really, really loves the freedom he has in the post-Fault world. And Zack enables him so hard.

Another reason Zack stuck around Taylor was because he just thinks he's stunning, honestly. Taylor is tall, built, has flowing golden hair and a perpetual aura of mystique irradiating from his sunglasses. So that's like catnip to Zack, someone who is very openly gay & flirtatious alongside the fact. As far as they both know, though, Taylor is straight and so Zack is on a one-sided pine train for several months. (Or at least he thinks it's one-sided! ;])

Said reason above is also a driving factor of the third reason Zack sticks around Taylor-- because he wants to protect him. It is not because he thinks Taylor is a beacon of kindness, or that he thinks Taylor is necessarily deserving of protection, but really he's just like. Okay he's hot & knows a lot of stuff so let's see how this turns out. Zack could probably survive on his own post-Fault, however reckless as he may be, but he does not believe Taylor could survive on his own. And he knows Taylor would try to make it on his own because he's an antisocial hard-ass.

So anyway, a lot of their initial journey is pretty rocky. Because neither of them keep close friends often, and neither of them stick around the same person every single day 24/7, there's a lot of tension and aggression and disagreements. But the more they go on together, the more they learn about each other, and the more they save & aid each other from harm, the greater is the bond that grows between them.

Oh and you know. Some of that tension & anger in the long run may have turned into pent up desire along the way ^^. Who's to know what they get up to when they're alone later on haha. heheheoo

🐈

[mwebber]

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them. (sebi please?)

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

ty for sending this, anon!

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

ahhh the only actual wip i have is girl!seb because the others are incoherent scribbles that i've marked down as In Progress... F. so far i think i've finally completed the story from 2005-2010, but from there things kinda fall apart--i'm trying to build up enough of the damage from 2011/2012 so that 2013 will hit harder, but atm those years are kinda falling through, mostly bc i don't know how to write jenson. i might have to re-do 2011 depending on how the rest of writing 2012 goes.

i feel like i keep talking about this project but haven't got anything to show for it so 💀 here's a snippet!

Indianapolis, USA - June 17, 2007In her Grand Prix weekend debut, Seb goes fourth fastest in her first practice session, qualifies seventh, and nabs eighth place, even after a messy start. She rises out of the car as the second woman in history to score points in Formula One—and the first to score a full point.  BMW is ecstatic with the achievement, immediately attaching their brand to her moment. Red Bull is right on their heels. To that end, Lewis’ win might as well be overshadowed by the media attention that flocks her way, but he doesn’t seem the least bit bothered, pulling her into a friendly handshake and half-hug in congratulations before being swept elsewhere. It feels just as good as a win. Seb is practically soaring, with nothing to kill her mood from the end of the race to the end of the day, even when Scott Speed almost dislocates her shoulder as he struts by, even when the boys try to take her out bar hopping and don’t succeed.  “I’ll head back to the hotel, you stay and have fun,” she says, waving them off as she tucks her ID back into her wallet. An idea is forming in her head on how she can celebrate, anyway. “Are you okay to get back on your own?” Beat looks torn, like he knows the responsible thing to do is accompany her, especially when she’s dolled up in a thin white shirt and short little tennis skirt, her legs bared to keep cool from the mid-June humidity. But the party is in full swing at the Slippery Noodle. “I’m going to get a ride,” she assures him, and fishes out her phone.  . ⋅ ˚̣- :  Twenty minutes later, Mark shows up in a taxi.

(she gives him a lap dance. they fuck nasty.)

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them. (sebi please?)

loathe as i am to call seb a character that i have headcanons for--i do very much find myself enjoying the idea that he can be more calculated (and cold?) than he lets on. similarly i don't know if i really like the whole, yknow, bratty-subby-tearful-cute thing that's popular in fanon? which, sure, it has its own basis, but i personally find it more interesting to see his more deliberate side and dissect him from that angle, kind of like an autopsy of Red Bull Seb, The Frat Bro Who Wasn't. i think charlie @sebrrari nails this in the whole "whether the medicine is enough" series! and though it was very much a reactionary fic, i think i get at the idea in and an and, and an and, and the end.

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

LOVE CONFESSIONS. i can't do them well but in my head they are sooo emotive. like in the nayq prequel when mark finally says it and the words absolutely destroy seb. or in wrestling in dirt pits when seb and mark admit they're still in love with each other in a moment of weakness. and i'll just spoil a bit of this girl!seb au, they say it after fuji 2007 and it's like the Crux of their entire relationship and not to toot my own horn but it works in the overarching story and i need to bash my head against a wall whenever i think about it. anyway

writer emoji ask game!

[ennaku-sirri-da]

Hey man Yknow what I’m actually kinda curious about what the basic plot of Roseverse is ngl. I mean from what I’ve seen habit is a big ol Grumpus muppet kinda fellow(BASED AS HELL BTW) soo ermmm, lore. Plz? *Looks at you with big ol eyes*

Okay I was gonna reply to this with a whole comic but it's taking a wHILE and I don't wanna keep you waiting THAT long so. Here's an answer in text for now!!

Roseverse didnt start out as an AU. It was a bunch of loose ideas all the way back in late 2021 for an idea I was struck with like when that Greek dude with the bathtub and the gold cried EUREKA! Except, you know, instead of making a huge scientific discovery I just made a bunch of nerd shit instead. Which is SOOO Haiderrrr /lh /affectionate

The idea was " What if Habit and Kamal were childhood friends"? ( Plaintext: What if Habit and Kamal were childhood friends? ) And so I worked off that basic premise. I took Habits diary pages, analysed them, and drew and thought out what he'd be going through and looked like at the time, with Kamal as well to mutually play off of each other. I did this ALL with my very good friend @prrusten 's help, hell we didn't even mean to make something so big, we were just talking and having fun and hitting it off!

But yeah. Here we are...Almost 3 years later! And now it's become a whole AU called Roseverse, after its Flower Kid sona/insert, Rose T. Flower. But it's not actually about him HwjjskHAKSJSJ--and its branched out beyond just Habismal though TBH Gillis is still the MOST underdeveloped character in the whole thing LOL I'll think of ideas for you one day someday muscleman. It's changed a lot too. There was a phase with Mad Scientist Kamal and everything. I don't think I'll ever post everything aha! But I will surely share content while I can.

Infact one of the changes is Habit's design...! You've seen some ofthe newer refs as opposed to Grumpus looking Habit, he looks more like a marionette. I still dearly love the old design...but messy stuff just happened and I feel immensely wrong using it again for newer art now. So I needed a specific revamp to indicate change for me. I don't really wanna get into every detail but I'll make a appropriate post about it one day or like update my pinned when I'm ready and know.

Here's a little drawing for you in the meantime Sharko! An old one but I think it still carries the spirit of the whole thing:

[ ID: Simple styled and digital colored art of Dr Habit and Kamal Bora from Smile For Me. It is in mostly dulled purple and pink tones. Habits hair gives a burst of rose and pink against the other tones.

He is closing his eyes and has caught Kamal in a hug from behind, leaning into his head. He looks worried. Kamal looks back at him, visibly tired, but there is a spark in his eye. Here his hair is long and falling down.

Whitish-purple text reads ‘’We’re in this together.’’ Then more transparent, ‘’Not Alone’’ and finally in bold clear text, ‘’Dont forget.’’ end ID]

And a song I more newly associate with Roseverse vibes...

[Thumbnail ID: A screencap from the anime Clannad. A man kneels on the ground to tightly clutch a little girl who hugs back. The background is sheer white snow. End ID]

[ VD: The music sounds melancholic, with twinkling noises throughout, and a slowly played track with echoing ambience. End VD ]

-

Morning edit: Aw Sharko.. I'm sorry this happened right after I told you about it but I've decided Roseverse will be shutting down and I shall post no further content of it for the time being. I will still continue like, using this blog for S4M stuff and make fanart in the Canon style sometime later but yeah man... :") (teary smile emote)

[greetings-humans]

introductory post (includes some interaction boundaries, more details on me (ao3 acc, etc) & a dni under the cut)

yeah it's about time I made one of those ig (disclaimer: I'll edit this, if/when the need comes)

hello there! im deelay! you can call me dee, if you want! [btw if you know my irl name, not here you don't unless we're DM-ing]

gender is so weird and I'm okay with any and all pronouns (barring it/its)!

for details on what to use when talking to me or about me (like pronouns and gendered terms etc) you can go here

-im a young adult and that's like all imma say age-wise. however please take that into account when interacting with my blog! some of the reblogs/posts here might not be what I'd have been okay with seeing when I was like under 14 or something. so yknow. exercise some modicum of caution please.

-currently in uni, studying to get an english degree (every new thing I learn about teaching makes me want to yell at some of the teachers I've known/had, did they even study in uni? did they even keep in touch with pedagogical studies?? definitely not, form what I can tell)

-I'm technically a writer? like I write,,, supposedly lmao. like all the greats, the one thing I never seem to do is yknow write-

I write sometimes, let's say. and I'm also really interested in writing my own crime fiction novel one day. but that's for some day in the future lmao

-definitely a reader tho (yes ao3 and i are in a committed relationship)

~

-im also very very aroace, so like, blanket disclaimer, even if you might think I'm thirsting over a character, im really not and it makes me uncomfortable when others think so (and tell me that) so yeah lol

my interests and fandoms are. a lot. for example (and in no particular order):

merlin (bbc): im watchin s2 rn(August 2024)! i finally decided to pick this up again and properly watch it! esp since i really wanna read The Once and Future Kings by tjmcharg & And like the cycle of the year, we begin again by katherynefromphilly and i can't do that if i watched the show lmao

the magnus archives: my first podcast! as of September 2024 I've started s4 and all I want is to relisten to really see how much everyone has changed in the span of 4 seasons🥺🥺 mind your spoilers, I don't always tag! and if you're in s1 frankly just persevere until halfway through s1 or s2 at least before interacting, there's a lot of spoilers for the setting going around because the actual explanation doesn't come until quite later even if u kinda figure some things out on your own

DC (the bats, mostly)

windbreaker (satoru nii): im constantly reading the new manga chapters as they come out so beware spoilers! the anime is really cool too<33 talk to me about my children (sakura, tsubakino, umemiya, kaji, hiragi, suo) and all of the other children ofc anytime!

riordanverse (pjo, hoo, magnus chase, a little bit toa, pjo show [which was def better than the movies but needs more screen time to fix up the pacing and add more depth in the appropriate moments])

fullmetal alchemist brotherhood! (i used to have roy on my pfp, he's my favorite character! i also wanna write a huge character analysis essay on him but uni responsibilities mean that's very slow going). im collecting the hardcover editions of the manga slowly, and i plan on reading the manga properly as i buy them!

star wars (prequels, kotor, clone wars)

criminal minds: (im at early s14 as of July 2024, so mind your spoilers humans)

jujutsu kaisen! (I'm just about to finish s2 as of April 2024 but I know what's happening by the end of s2 and I've given up on the storyline so spoil away, I'll just ignore you and live my life in my fanfic sandbox:] )

yuri on ice is an old love of mine (ice adolescence😭😭 one day😭😭 oh one day😭😭 so that was a fucking joke, mappa count your days and also im stealing viktor you can't have him, im gonna write iceado WITHOUT YOU) (well imma write it with a friend but like most importantly WITHOUT MAPPA and I urge all creative yoi fans that think they wanna try doing their own version of iceado to go ahead and give it a go!)

haikyuu!!: I'm all caught up, manga and anime-wise! also patiently waiting for the last (😭) movie that should've been a season but anyways they better not fuck this up too much- (update: battle of the garbage dumpster was wonderful even if they couldn't animate everything... it was just so short)

bungo stray dogs is also an old but semi-revived interest of mine (im pretty much up to date with the manga, just haven't read the light novels)

tian guan ci fu / heaven official's blessing (as of June 2024, I've finished s2 and tgcf is amazing it's wonderful, I've started book 1 and am currently procrastinating on reading it)

there's like. so much more

sooo muuuuch moooreeee

so I'll just let you figure the rest of it out

If you wanna see some of my thoughts without infinite scrolling, you can also search for the tag "deelay words".

Another tag of mine is "deelay's tbr" (which stands for "to be referenced") which you'll find at posts that really make me Think™ and that I want to keep in mind when I do anything creative with the characters involved.

When interacting with my blog, if you want to avoid spoilers at all costs, I suggest blocking the fandom tag because what you consider spoilers might not be what I consider spoilers if we're at different arcs of whatever that media is.

That said, I'd also appreciate it if you gave me a heads up on spoilers in any asks.

~

if you're here for any of my fics then well.

if you're here for pjo, um. those fics are truly discontinued/on indefinite hiatus. that hasn't changed. I watched the show and I'm actually reading pjo fics again from time to time so if I get inspired enough and manage to plan out a decent fic out of Percy Jackson Revealed,,,, then maybe there shall be a fic. But!!! I have no idea what the ending is gonna be, and without an ending I'm doing nothing because the chances of me dropping the fic (again) would be higher than my anxiety during exam season (aka very very high)

if you're here for the man behind neal caffrey tho!! hi, there. I am working on that sequel, don't worry. it's just long (im at like 7k or so iirc? and im not even halfway through yet) and I'm also working on uni and this other writing project I have going on. feel free to send me an ask with any questions or comments or whatever. august 2024 update: this project is very slow going tbh! i think i need to recalibrate some of my plans because it's so tiring to keep writing some of the stuff I've planned for. white collar crime cases are more tedious than expected. im also like on and off working on a double homicide case fic for criminal minds (that I think I'll rework to become an original thing) and it's coming out much more easily😭

unnamed grishaverse project: yeah so, I have a project going with my friend noel @fifteenth-entity, we're fixing the darkling! this fic will take place like around 50-100 years pre-alina, and will feature the darkling doing darkling things while that generation's most prominent grisha (aka a bunch of queers) also do things that may or may not affect the darkling. and his views. and personality. there may or may not be character development in the works. (there is, he gets better). this fic is canon divergent before canon even happens. the entire plot of shadow and bone will be eventually reworked. (also, no darklina, no darkling romance, in general, this boy needs to get mentally healthy first and foremost and I'm also writing him as aroace sooo) [for more info on this just search "unnamed grishaverse project", it's the tag I've used in like the only post about this. do feel free to send me an ask about this tho!!]

ice adolescence-esque fic: mappa fucked up majorly with canceling iceado and im supremely annoyed, mad, and upset. it just so happens that I was in the middle of my yoi renaissance era when the news came out so with my obsession going strong, I really wanted to try doing something with iceado. and then @athenov got roped in a la "be my coach co-conspirator/co-writer, viktor(ia)!". this is not going to be a very linear story, we're going around and about in different points in time. the first narrative follows viktor at 17ish deciding to try to ratify the quad flip and it includes some insight on his friends and family (who are OCs, im not sorry, his backstory is so barren, we had to!) and on how he ended up so alone by the time yoi was happening. the second narrative is post-yoi viktor coming back to russia ft yuuri, yuri & yakov. this is not a russian gov-positive fic. russian culture is very interesting and some russians are wonderful people —diversity is a thing, after all— but to be perfectly clear, fuck the russian government and everyone supporting their actions. what they're doing is inhumane. [posts about this project will be tagged as "dee & athenov's yoi fic"!]

~

Another thing: If you have a genuine, not malicious or mean-spirited, question, feel free to send me an ask. Keep it chill, though! if you try to pick a fight i will delete the ask for the first time, but on strike 2, you're blocked.

i like to think that I'm open to discourse on some topics but not if you're starting out all aggressively cause if you're aggressive, I will be defensive (while privately having a panic attack) and we're not gonna get anywhere. Not that I can't get aggressive sometimes when I'm annoyed/offended or sth, like I'm not perfect but this is a general rule of a thumb yknow. Try not to be aggressive. or prepare for an aggressive conversation if you are.

so. once again for the people in the back

If you're here to pick a fight with me then gtfo please.

I don't like fighting, it makes me anxious, so save us both the trouble and be as civil as you can be if you have a disagreement with me. don't forget to check my dni tho. I'm not gonna sit around having basic arguments about my rights to queerness as an aroace person or some stupid shit like that.

that said, unless I'm literally at your post saying shit you disagree with. don't come at me. literally block me. it's fine. I quite literally do not mind or care. like, if you saw my post or reblog and decided I suck then just block me will you?

~

Moreover, if you ever want fic recs for a fandom I'm in, you're definitely welcome to send me an ask! but if you don't feel like talking, anything I will ever tell you is straight from my ao3 bookmarks. sooo, feel free to hunt around those! [in case the link isn't working for you, my ao3 username is Justice_not_Revenge]

ao3 disclaimer: anything before 2021 is not necessarily something I claim. So like don't think I'm into this thing or that I'm passionate about this ship just because in 2019 I bookmarked 100 fics with it, people tend to grow and change so yeah.

some generic DNIs

if you're anti-lgbtq+ in any way (cmon im queer myself this one should be obvious)

if you support AI art or AIs stealing fic content (if you're the type to use other people's OCs in character.ai with no permission, then like go away and don't you dare touch my OCs without talking to me and getting my explicit permission first)

literally anyone who thinks violating someone's concent is nice and fun and quirky

racists, ableists, sexists/misogynists, incest shippers, pro-shippers, etc

okay that's all! thank youuu-

[respitelocklyre]

I made the cheer squad!!! I have a lil more to say but that's the important bit- updates under the cut like always ✨

Cheer tryouts were waaay different than i expected!! I kind of thought it'd be a big ordeal but it was just me and one other freshman who tried out, so we were obvs accepted lol Not that we wouldn't have made it in anyways since we both looked fucking great!! Especially considering I haven't even done any of those moves since last fall. The squad is pretty small and i don't think they do competitive stuff but that's fine, we never did in high school either. I'm more interested in getting to know the rest of the silkball team we'll be cheering on, if the try-outs were any indication of what's to come 🤭 There's this cute owl-guy I might have my eye on- i think he works at the tavern too!!

Oh yeah, i also got the work-study at the tavern! I figure i'll just quit if i don't like it lol but anyways come say hi if ur on campus- i promise you'll recognize me on sight. I'm pretty easy to spot hehe

Oh oh oh and congrats to Mire for getting on the team too!! and for scoring some points with their crush (they can thank me later~). I wonder if they're gonna be able to play well while being cheered on lmaaooo

Classes have been fine, but tbh i haven't rlly been able to pay attention to them since i've been busy partying, meeting new people, and adjusting to life on campus! It's kinda overwhelming, my contacts have like doubled since i got here. And everything is like...way different, yknow? Obvs I didn't think it'd be the SAME as high school, but the vibes are soooo different is all. idk what to make of it all yet but i know that im LOVING being away from home and enjoying my freedom so far <3 Cathy told me the first month or so would probably be rlly hard but idk what she was talking abt bc no one grounds me for waking them up when i get home at 2 am and not even the raven queen can stop me from eating icecream for dinner now.

+++++

In reality, this party was kind of lame, even as Respite typed otherwise to his friends— they'd opted to ditch him for a studying session, so he sure as hell wasn't going to let on that the party was anything but lit. They had a feeling most of them probably wouldn't care, but Willow might feel a touch regretful, so the lie was worth it.

After sending the message to the group chat and briefly checking tinder for any new DMs or matches— maybe he could escape this place and turn the night around— to no avail, they pocketed their phone. How annoying. They rolled their eyes and leaned against the wall, taking a slow sip at the drink they’d been nursing for the past hour. Respite wasn’t really a fan of drinking on the best of nights and all they had to offer here was shitty beer. After a moment of pouting and observing the dimly lit room, they turned and parted the dusty, moth-eaten curtain to look out the window again.

If anyone had noticed the way Respite kept flitting out to the porch or the front window, no one said anything. They did try to keep it discreet, at least, and simply worked it into the way they naturally made the rounds every now and then to talk to different people or get another drink. He liked to move around a lot at parties anyways to make sure that he saw everyone's faces and said hi to them all.

On the opposite side of the spectrum was Mettie, who, shortly after arriving and greeting a few people, had taken an edible or something and parked himself outside on the porch. From there, he seemed to be spending most of his time at the party smoking with other people who needed some fresh air and enrapturing (ensnaring?) them with his long-winded conversation. Respite wasn't sure if this had been his goal when agreeing to come to the party, but it had been the result.

It dawned on Respite slowly that they hadn't really seen Mettie at a party like this before. Well, okay— they'd seen Mettie at one or two big house parties in passing, but they'd never actually spent much time watching him. He’d been the dealer for about 75% of their high school (it was a devastating loss to the community when he’d done his year abroad), so it was hard not to run into him from time to time at parties. But in high school, he was mostly regarded as weird and off-putting. People got what they wanted from him and were generally polite, but it wasn't like he was always invited to stick around. And when he was, it did usually end up like this— he'd put himself in a less populated corner somewhere and make puzzling conversation with those willing to listen.

In their hometown, it had felt like everyone else tolerated it because Mettie was a valuable resource. They knew his penchant for rambling, though, and tried not to engage— Respite himself included.

They couldn't place the feeling as they watched Mettie from the window now, with a handful of people gathered around him, held captive by the way he spoke. These people weren't just being polite, either. They were listening— sometimes even smiling and laughing with him. Sure, they were probably stoned too, but that hardly mattered. It's not like this was the first time it had happened since he’d learned Mettie was also attending Strixhaven. At their cafe shift, during orientation, and at the career fair...things were clearly different here.

A couple of years ago, Respite never would've invited Mettie to a house party with him. It would've been social suicide— he knows; he'd thought about it once early on and didn't even get far enough to invite Mettie before the ridicule started up— and though it had taken a lot to fight against their instinct, they needed to test their theory: Did people here actually like Mettie's company? This party seemed to confirm it for the positive.

In Respite's mind, the jury was still out on whether or not Mettie was cool, but at the very least it seemed like no one was going to corner him in the bathroom and interrogate him about why they saw him talking to the freak who looked like he was one bad day away from shooting up the school (untrue, of course, and tasteless in a way only teenagers could be, but Respite had forced out a laugh at the time).

There was a feeling of relief in that. In knowing that neither of them would be under constant scrutiny from peers and adults alike. Being unknown was freeing in some ways.

But there was a dread in it, too. In losing the structure Respite had spent years delicately building the pieces of their identity around.

A memory from when they were kids came to mind unbidden, of the time Respite had accidentally knocked over one of Mettie's earliest sculptures. It had been unsteady and the base made of air-dry clay toppled easily when Respite bumped the dresser in a fit of energetic excitement, sending it crashing to the ground. The roughly attached bits and bobs came loose and scattered across Mettie's bedroom floor, transitioning from art to disjointed pieces without purpose or clarity in an instant.

For what it was worth, Mettie had taken it in stride even as Respite desperately crawled under his bed with a flashlight to gather everything, apologizing and promising to help him glue it back together. After staying quiet for some time, he'd declared it an act of fate that only added to the piece and gave it new meaning. Respite didn't understand, but they'd been so terrified of being yelled at that they nodded in agreement even as their cheeks were pink from crying. They still attempted to fit some of the pieces back together until Mettie insisted they just put it in an empty shoe box so that he could make something new of it. To this day, Respite had no idea if Mettie had ever fixed it, restructured it, or simply left it as a memorial in his closet.

They wrinkled their nose up at the unwarranted assault of a flashback. Clearly they'd been hanging around Mettie too much already if their thoughts were starting to get this metaphorical. He downed the last of his warm beer, hoping the bile on his tongue would force him to refocus on the party.

[mxtcha-tea]

Where I've been and where I am now

Alright, please read the pinned post first. That's more important than this.

WARNING; IMPLICATIONS OF SUICIDE

Anyways, hi

Oh gosh, it's been such a long time since I've step foot in here. It's unbelievable that this was here since 2021. But anyway,,,

Hi, I go by citrus now! Not an exciting or groundbreaking name. I decided to change my name, yet again, and just went with citrus. I think its sounds nice? Idk

Alright, back to what I wanted to talk now. So, after this post I sorta got back to reality?? I mean, since I spend most of my time in tumblr back in uh, 2020 to 2021, it kinda became a little place for me to stay in the internet.

But after my leave, I didn't have anything else to hold onto other than trying to keep my grades alive because believe it or not, my grades plummeted after that!! How sweet!!

While the internet has been one of my worst addiction, it was still a place that I'm (fairly) comfortable to be in since I could talk about my interests whenever I want(believe it or not, I have no one to talk to at school, wow, shocker)

And that's where the storm started, I was thinking of not-so-friendly thoughts and attempted, yknow, forever sleeping. I was lost and I was too scared to tell anyone about it.

It went from me thinking of that, and then denying and then telling myself that I only think that way to make myself be pitied and then forget about it and the cycle continues.

That's until around, maybe August 2022, I started to think straight again and tried (emphasis on tried) to make myself better again. There's time it works and didn't but slowly as October came in, I started to feel better.

I still think about forever sleeping but very rarely. And now that my mind is (slightly more) okay now, I wanted to get back here and apologize for my past behavior and for leaving everyone in the dark.

Alright enough about the depressing stuff, I wanna talk about how I am now. Well, I'm good now! Maybe still a little lazy like I was before but nonetheless, I am a-okay

I managed to socialize a bit at school and got myself a friend that I'm more close to than others (technically best friends, but they still don't know a lot about me like how I don't know a lot about them, so there's still a little gap there)

(And if anyone cared enough to know) my main interest as of now is Twisted Wonderland. After the English translation was announced, I went ham and eating up content about twst like it was my last meal.

Anyways, here are more infos that are more than less interesting;

I got myself in reading more literature, whether it's in English or malay tbh

I also got interested in coding and believe it or not, I'm kinda trying to make a game using renpy

I still write and draw thankfully

....i got myself some cat headphones

I have an exam later in uh, I think January so I've been trying to get myself motivated to at least study

And that's about it. And to conclude it all with a question, actually 2 questions

What are you gonna do with this account now?

Well unlike my old account that I deactivated, I'll keep this one up for obvious reasons

Do you have another account on tumblr? (and maybe accounts on other platforms?)

I do have set a new account on tumblr for my twisted wonderland interest. But i'm still trying to fix the theme and clearing my drafts over there so I won't tell the @ for now

And yeah, I do have other accounts on other platforms (but that's a story for another time)

Thank you for reading this all the way through and have a nice day!

[lovelyrotter]

yknow i keep tryin to brush it off n keep it quiet cause i genuinely dont know where to do w/ my life in terms of like, romance. or the specific almost-qpp stuff that happens within two partner systems outside of their romantic rships. but it really does suck being the guy who fronts to be alone. i cant stop thinking abt what 🧢 told me. "all you've had from us has been rejection". like i dunno what to do w/ this!!! in like a going forward kinda way or like, ??? i dont Object to those words but its hard to grapple with yfeel?? and i was absolutely part of the problem too and thank fucq we can talk abt it like adults. thank fuck i got the words to express myself now and that im a whole, intact person cause goddamn i was fractured alll across the system until like literally last year. shits was freaky i do NOT recommend. but like, i realize and accept that ive been a problem and imo thats pretty easy for me to do now (also thank fuck) cause im just so much more focused on progress to wanna even ENTERTAIN burryin my head in the sand abt my own issues, of which i still have many, cause i mean, what is this text post abt even. its me trying to avoid acceptig that i have been continously rejected, no matter what i did, who i talked to, what i said. even later that day like legit an hour or so later im pretty sure he started splittin on me, which i dont hold against him but it still. hurt. cause i thought things were good, like i thought i wasnt fuckin up like that. i feel like im the most annoying person in the world. and i rlly am okay w/ having alone time most of the time, cause i get to be myself and think my thoughts. but me so firmly believing im the mst annoying pos in the world does have a hand in my alone time. which means half the time it aint alone time, its self isolation. which isnt good. and smth i need to talk abt. but they never know who to put on front for me and/or my ppl arent readily avaliable a lotta the time so im. i dunno. i need to talk w/ this one guy but im nervous af about it. i'll get it all out eventually

[oakskull]

Guess who finished this illustration set,,

MEEEEEEE!!!

It's Cogchamp fnf sprites!!! I would have made a mod but unfortunately I don't have the right software to do so

Featuring such characters as

Tutorial Fox

5up.xtml

Brother Dearest

Tub and Crumb

Prime Bell

Um sir.

and last but not least, Sammy wants murder

These are weeks 1-4, and week 5 will be in a separate post bc of image limit(derogatory) and I worked really hard on this!! (more thoughts and stuff under the cut, I got kind of rambly haha)

It was super fun to draw in this style and I feel like I learned a lot about shading and shapes (shoes especially) by trying to recreate the style of a professional artist. I think I'll do more exercises like this in the future, just to keep learning!! Also obligatory reminder that these drawings are referenced HEAVILY from the original game sprites. I was trying to draw the cog champers(and dream) like they would be a mod for the game, so the poses and style are extremely similar if not the same. If I were to redo these illustrations I might put more personality and originality into the poses, but I didn't actually study the style at all before creating the first illustration (fundy, the one I posted here is actually a redraw to make him higher quality, the original was too small)

So yeah, over all, this was super fun and I'd definitely do it again. Maybe I'll redraw some of these in the future to be more creative, you can tell which ones I drew later on bc of the variety in poses and expressions, I was a lot more comfortable with the style (tho I did keep my own eyes and mouth style bc expressions are something thats really important to my style and I didn't want to feel like I was just like,, tracing) Sorry for rambling so long, I'll put this under a cut for all the people who just want to see pretty art.

On a more art related note, you may have noticed that Dream is Pico, you may be thinking "but dream isn't on Cogchamp" and you're Right. I didn't know what else to do okay? He's fundy's Ex so it kind of fits??? I dunno man, I gave him a more steam punk mask but kept the majority of his design similar to my normal dream design, so as to keep the Dream vibe. Yknow where he's always just a green blob? It kinda slaps tbh, branding is important.

Also regarding Prime Bell, again, I didn't know what else to do, I was thinking of doing something with the egg, but that's not on cogchamp (thank goodness) so I needed something else. I decided that the only like, tangentially related thing I could do was make an Evil prime bell, based on how Sam steals it idk maybe in this world its always the demon thing and is kinda like the ring from lord of the rings, where once you have it you can't give it up. In any case designing Prime Bell took a while (plus some help from Yipcord and Chaos Crew thx guys ❤ and specifically @valpurgatory who is what inspired me to personify the Prime Bell in the first place with their turn everything into a women philosophy (I @ed him so you can check out his blog he slaps. She's like the go to for saving women from Wilbur Soot's dirty mits)) but drawing it was surprisingly quick, mostly due to the fact that I figured out how to easily recreate the texture on the Lemon Monster's body. I did no shading bc that's what the Lemon monster looks like, and it kind of hurt bc it just looks kind of unfinished to me,,, I had some trouble with the week 5 design for Prime Bell bc I didn't want to abandon my first idea. I probably should have and would have gotten a better result, but I can't be bothered tbh. This is the 3rd day I'm working on this project (these were surprisingly quick the churn out, probably bc I was having a blast) and I simply do not want to alter anything. My idea was good but the execution didn't pan out. What am I saying the week 5 prime bell design isn't even on this post sjjdjsks

Anyway, go check out fnf(Friday Night Funkin) it's a rhythm game, it's free and the OST Slaps. I'd also highly recommend listening to the Whitty mod songs and the Neo mod songs,,,, good good music.

[psyched-for-you]

Can you please validate me resting? I've had to skip so many uni classes recently and I'm going to have to skip a pre-exam test thing that's in a couple days because there's no way in anywhere that I'll manage to learn all of Shakespeare in my current state by then, which kinda stresses me out more the closer the test gets. I've had to rest more often and for longer periods of time the past few months/years (idk time), and it's rly working! I can create again and i can keep myself, most of the time, at a 'were ok' level, which is a big improvement, but sometimes it just hits me that I'm in uni I love and that im supposed to attend classes regularly so I don't fall behind, which anxiety and adhd make so easy, and that I'm not doing any work like the rest of my classmates, and I think rn it would be a huge help to have someone else validate me doing the right thing (resting), and im terrified of texting my friends abt this bcs theres such a social stigma around it and it would break my heart if they went the 'yeah sure but you have to work yknow, make urself' route, and opening up is so tough. Anyway, hope this is in any way coherent and that you're having a good day! Ill go do some Little Tasks to calm down haha -D

It's so very okay to rest, and honestly super important. Once you're completely burnt out, it's very hard to come back from that space.

I rested a lot during my education. It took me 4 years to finish my master's rather than two years. I had to take a half a year break once, I had to push some classes to a later semester. And during my thesis, I got so stressed and ill that I had to take a whole year off, before I could return and finish my studies.

And you know what? That's ok. I'm here now.

Life is not a race, and there's no "end goal" when you will stop running.

It's important to take time to prioritize being okay in the moment, bc that's where you live!! No one knows the future, but you know that you need to function right now, and that has to be a priority along with any future plans.

I hope your friends will be understanding, bc you know your own limits best, and it's so important for you to respect those limits and take care of yourself.

Best of luck!

-Quinn

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Episode 7 Time

Ugh I kinda hate that Aphmaus doin her little youtuber intro in front of every episode in these earlier ones bc its like. how the fuck am I supposed to work that shit into the start of literally anything else much less a more conventionally told story

Idk she walks around town n runs into Kiki and her lil hamster party

Something about Kikis design just really irks me and Im pretty sure its her oversaturated darkish pink shirt, even more so when its combined with that bright red hair and big bright red heart on her chest. When I redesign her I'll probably replace it with a more earthy pink tone

The exchange between Kiki n Aphmau can stay the way it is mostly, I'll definitely have to tweak it though and completely rework that last paragraph so it doesnt sound like an obvious explanation of a game/mod mechanic

Zenix is also nearby saying "What strange adorable creatures" which is cute, I think I'd like it a lil bit more if he was maybe also petting/holding a hamster while saying that

She has some fun w/ a hamster in the enclosure, Im kinda hesitant on giving her a pet like that ngl, but I feel like a hamster is a bit less of a 'deal' than her dog so yea, I'll see what I'll do

If she keeps the hamster, she'll drop him off at her house (or maybe in the chicken enclosure idk) and then walk around town talking to everyone, if she gives it back to Kiki she just goes to talk to everyone in town right away

While shes doing that, she runs into Paul ofc and they have the same lil exchange that they have in the OG

Once shes done w/ all of that she goes over to the beach to start building that boat where she meets Brenden, who just finished the docks and is Exhausted. He says the thing about the docks being done AGAIN while wheezing and panting a bunch, Aphmau tells him he did a good job like in the OG and Brendon just thanks her without mentioning poop, thank god

Then she also goes to talk to Garroth, their exchange is also mostly the same except Im changing the line "I'm having an item delivered here for the boat" to smth like "I/Zenix and I have had something built for the boat, we should get it tomorrow" bc I feel like they kinda mentioned that the village is cut off from all the other villages but then they didnt fully realize that that would make things like this difficult yknow?? (or me and whoever wrote this just have a different definition of "cut off" lol)

Aphmau starts trying to build the boat, maybe Brendon offers to help once hes rested properly bc he seems to know a lil more than Aphmau. At this point we should probably do another small timeskip and show the boat being built via montage equivalent or by just showing small snippets and interaction. I'd also like to get Paul and Kiki on board (ha) bc they also know about what happened and they need all the help they can get

I'd also like Garroth and Zenix to help a lil or at least offer some emotional support. Like, I dont remember Zenix at all and I do know that most of the big moments for Garroth n Aphmau come later but some small cute interactions before that could be nice

Okay nvm I watched further ahead in the episode and what she ended up building was more of a raft or smth which could probabls be built by a single person in like 2 days if they had some skill and patience lol. Im keeping those previous points though bc I like the idea of this being a bit of a bonding moment despite it all (and I'd kinda like Aphmau to be a pretty skilled builder in my version idk why)

EDIT: NVM SHIT I MISSED SMTH; so Zenix sneaks onto the boat and looks into the chest/maybe puts something in it??? Dont remember what it is or what it leads up to so Im keeping for now

So yea, thats it for this one babeyyy