#and i know i’ll eventually start and i know i may even start selling well!

[dagasinfilo]

i do not think i can mentally handle having no income anymore but i do not think i can handle literally anything that’ll give me an income

[decolonize-the-everything]

hey, just wanted to thank you for your blog, it really helps to see someone write and share so many well written takes and useful posts about all the things that are going on but also like, it's nice to see someone with consistently good positions and without compromissions

Thank you 💗💗

Watching that scene with Valerie and her letter from V for Vendetta altered my brain chemistry as a teenager, esp in the context of the protagonist being tortured for just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Let me dig it up for y'all because its just. Lemme show u, words won't do it justice.

But like this is why I don't compromise and can't ever see myself doing it, no matter what.

Tw: fascist violence, homophobia

Transcript under the cut

I'm never ever compromising who I am or what I believe in, it's the only thing they cant take from us. Fuck fascists, I will love my siblings even if it kills me.

"I know there’s no way I can convince you this is not one of their tricks. But I don’t care. I am me. My name is Valerie. I don’t think i’ll live much longer, and I wanted to tell someone about my life. This is the only autobiography that i’ll ever write, and – God – i’m writing it on toilet paper. I was born in Nottingham in 1985. I don’t remember much of those early years. But I do remember the rain. My grandmother owned a farm in Tottlebrook, and she used to tell me that God was in the rain. I passed my eleven plus, and went to a girl’s grammar. It was at school that I met my first girlfriend. Her name was Sarah. It was her wrists – they were beautiful. I thought we would love each other forever. I remember our teacher telling us that it was an adolescent phase that people outgrew. Sarah did. I didn’t. In 2002 I fell in love with a girl named Christina. That year I came out to my parents. I couldn’t have done it without Chris holding my hand. My father wouldn’t look at me. He told me to go and never come back. My mother said nothing. I’d only told them the truth. Was that so selfish? Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us. And within that inch, we are free. I’d always known what i’d wanted to do with my life, and in 2015 I started my first film: The Salt Flats. It was the most important role of my life. Not because of my career, but because that was how I met Ruth. The first time we kissed, I knew I never wanted to kiss any other lips but hers again. We moved to a small flat in London together. She grew scarlet carsons for me in our window box. And our place always smelt of roses. Those were the best years of my life. But America’s war grew worse and worse, and eventually came to London. After that there were no roses anymore. Not for anyone. I remember how the meaning of words began to change. How unfamiliar words like “collateral” and “rendition” became frightening. When things like norsefire and the articles of allegiance became powerful. I remember how different became dangerous. I still don’t understand it: why they hate us so much. They took Ruth while she was out buying food. I’ve never cried so hard in my life. It wasn’t long until they came for me. It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place. But for three years I had roses – and apologised to no-one. I shall die here. Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch. But one. An inch. It is small and it is fragile, and it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us. I hope that - whoever you are - you escape this place. I hope that the world turns, and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I do not know you, and even though I may not meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you: I love you. With all my heart. I love you. -Valerie."

[natalievoncatte]

This isn’t really a ficlet. It’s more of a screen test. If I like it and you like it, this might be my next project after my SCBB fic is done. I’ll start posting excerpts of that soon!

CW: Mentions of death and dying, and loss.

Of all the things to kill Lena Luthor, it was a heel shearing off her shoe. It wasn’t even a proper high heel, just a two inch rise on a pair of rather stately shoes from a designer of no particular note. Lena had since passed on the Louboutins, and had long adopted more conservative cuts for her suits and dresses. She’d given up her title as CEO decades ago and now fulfilled the role of director emeritus of L-Corp’s research and development division.

It had been a good life, except for one glaring exception. She’d cured over twenty types of common cancers, developed vaccines, and almost personally reversed global warming. She had only one regret as the heel sheared off her shoe and she went tumbling down the stairs to the floor of the L-Corp lobby.

Curiously, she was only dimly aware of the pain. It was something distant, like it was happening to someone else. She heard more than felt a crushing blow to her hip and when the marble rushed up to fill her vision, the world simply went explosively white and the only thing she felt was cold.

The world stayed white, which had perplexed her. Lena had never believed in any sort of life after death, even though she had a vague sense of the supernatural. Her mother was rumored to be a witch in the Irish village where she grew up, and she’d been told as much when she visited as an adult to seek out her roots. She expected, well, nothing. Not even an awareness that there was nothing, just an absence. As she grew older, on those nights when her mortality came crashing down around her in the fitful depths of the early morning when sleep rejected her, she would rationalize death as simply not having to get up tomorrow.

She did not expect to find herself standing in her old office, the one from a lifetime ago. Her stark minimalist desk dominated the room. Without knowing why, she ran the pads of her fingers along its cool length, a ghost of a sad smile dusting her lips.

The sofa was there, too. She could barely bring herself to look at it. After Kara’s betrayal, she had disposed of it thoroughly and rearranged the office. She’d eventually be driven out of the room entirely by grief and settled into another office on a lower floor and began spending more time at home, but the penthouse gave her no solace, either, and she ended up selling it and ultimately moved the research and development department back to Metropolis and worked there.

Lena’s breath caught at the sight of a familiar photograph on one of her bookcases. She took it in trembling hands, knowing then that this must be an illusion or a dream, because she’d smashed the frame and shredded this photograph in her own two fingers.

It was her and Kara, faces pressed together and grinning, their eyes so radiant with joy that it burned Lena’s heart to see and she immediately hurled it across the room, hurling it at a vase of rare plumerias that Kara had brought for her, leaving behind a full belly and a soaring heart.

A hand plucked it casually from the air and set it on an end table near the sofa. Lena stood her ground, though her legs began to tremble.

Standing in her office was a man she didn’t know, dressed smartly in a black suit that would have been in fashion all those years ago. He had a curiously calm air about him, reserved and almost peaceful.

“Who are you?” said Lena. “I’m dead, right? Are you God? The Devil?”

“I am not a god, nor am I one of the true immortals, though it is said that in strange æons, even death may die.”

“Then who are you?”

“My name is Mxyzptlk. Kara might, perhaps, have told you of me.”

“No.”

He snorted softly.

“Typical. I am a very long lived being, Lena Luthor. My kind measure our lives in eons, and as a wise human once said, a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. For the last ten thousand years, I have been a troublemaker and an imp. Now I shall be something else. I have decided I shall be grand and wise.”

“What does that have to do with me?” said Lena.

“Not you. Kara. I still owe her a debt, and I must balance myself before I truly transition into my next iteration. I am here to balance that debt.”

“How?”

“By giving you the opportunity to give love one last chance.”

“I was never in love with-“

“Do not lie to me.”

Lena took a half step back, grabbing the desk for balance. Mxyzptlk took a few steps closer.

“I am as far beyond you as you are beyond an ant, the very forces of chaos and entropy heed my command. All time is an open book to me. Whether you admit it to yourself or not, you never married because you were hoping they Kara would stop giving you space and time to heal like you said you wanted, but never did.”

“How dare you? You don’t-“

“What Kara did to you, the way she manipulated her identities to confuse you, was cruel. Lying to you for so long was cruel.”

“Then why should I take you up on whatever this is?”

“A do-over. You’ll go back with your memories intact. You’ll have the chance to set right what once went wrong, and so will she. Or you can avoid her entirely and seek happiness elsewhere. You can leave National City behind or refuse her lunch invitations or whatever it is you think you wish you’d done. I’m not here to force you to love her. I’m giving you another chance, in truth, on her behalf. One she would pigheadedly refuse out of some misplaced sense of morals or decency.”

“Have you offered this to her?”

“No. Where she has gone now, I cannot follow. I can’t even show you where she is: her god has taken her home to his warm light. She rests in the lush fields of a prehistoric Krypton she never knew, spending eternity with her family. Rao has even used his strength and purpose to talk Mother Sol into allowing the Danvers into his domain.”

Lena’s voice cracked. “What?”

“Kara passed earlier today on Argo, from old age and cumulative injuries from her time as Supergirl, without a yellow star to protect her from them.”

“It sounds like she’s happy,” said Lena, turning away. “I… I still want her to be happy.”

“Rao is a bold god, a strong and protective one, but he is an honest lord. He does not give her the gift of forgetting, and perfect memory of love lost can be make a hell of heaven.”

“She loved me?”

“As much as you loved her. Enough to let you go.”

Lena’s hands began to shake. “It’s been so long. How-“

There was a knock at the door. Lena jumped, almost falling.

Mxyzptlk flashed to her side, crossing the space without moving.

“Choose now.”

“Who’s out there?”

“I don’t know. Whoever has the strongest claim over your soul, I suppose. You must choose now; to delay a true god is beyond even me.”

Lena swallowed, hard.

“Do it,” she whispered.

The world went mad. Everything was spinning, and trying to throw her stomach out of her body through her nose. The acrid smell of jet fuel and burning electronics stung her nose. The pilot beside her was unconscious.

And then…

The spinning slowed, and she was no longer falling. A gentle sense of lift raised her into the air, the city falling away from the cracked glass in front of her. Very gently, the helicopter came to rest on the roof, and she glimpsed a familiar figure in a cape and skirt, and her heart nearly exploded in her chest. There was a gust of wind that rocked the chopper and ice crystals crawled over the glass, crackling in the National City sunshine.

Then, she was there. Kara tore the door loose in a single, fluid motion and climbed inside, pausing to check the pilot, peering through flesh and bone to asses his injuries.

Then she looked at Lena.

Kara’s breath caught, and her pupils blew wide. Kara stared at Lena like she was something knew, unknown and wondrous, the edges of her lips curling just so despite the self serious tone as she asked if Lena was okay.

It was her. Alive, here, now. Lena couldn’t help herself; she lifted a trembling hand to cup Kara’s soft cheek, without thinking. Her throat nearly closed and no words escaped her lips. She just felt that warm, soft skin and stared right back into Kara’s otherworldly eyes, savoring the tickle of Kara’s loose honey curls slipping over the back of her hand.

“Miss Luthor,” Kara said. “Your heart is racing. We’d better get you an ambulance.”

“You saved me,” Lena whispered.

“That’s what I do,” said Kara, winking at her.

Lena almost died again.

[lyrakanefanaticwriting]

Heyy I've got a fic request- Avery randomly remembers her ancient pontiac and tells Jameson about how her mom gave it to her. So he gets it back somehow and fixes it and takes her on a ride and she starts crying <33 💔

OMG HELP I GOT THIS REQUEST LAST MONTH BUT IVE BEEN IN THE BIGGEST SLUMP EVERRR IM SO SORRY 😭😭

but here you go!! 💗

Jameson laid back on the floor, letting the tools in his hand fall to the ground with a clatter. 2 months ago, Avery had told him about her ancient Pontiac, which her mother had given her before she passed, and it hadn’t left his mind. So, a week later he decided that for their 2 year anniversary, he was going to fix it and give it to her. It was difficult, of course, and Jameson wasn’t even sure if the car was still in one piece, or if it had been scrapped, but he was up for a challenge. Eventually, after tracking down every car dealer in New Castle, he found a run down garage which was owned by an old fella named Walter. Jameson was lucky he had came when he had, because Walter was about to sell the car for parts. He struck up a deal for a lot more than that car was worth, and brought it back to Hawthorne House to fix it. It took a month and a half of meticulously working every day, and somehow keeping it hidden from Avery, when today he finally finished. Jameson stood up, wiping the dust and grease from his hands onto his pants, and examined the car. Pontiacs weren’t exactly Jameson style, as he was sure it wasn’t Averys either, but it wasn’t about what the car looked like. It was about what the car meant to her. And if Avery wanted an almost falling apart car that seriously needed to be put down, then she was going to get one.

——————————————————————————

“A helicopter ride, archery, hot air balloons, watching the sunset on the beach…” Avery trailed off, her head on Jameson’s chest.

“Don’t forget the ice sculpting challenge.” He added, a smile playing on his lips. Avery huffed.

“I still think I won that. Your dolphin looked more like a whale.” She said. Jameson laughed.

“What’s the difference anyway?” Avery snickered, and although Jameson wanted her to keep lying on her chest as they watched the twinkling night sky, her big surprise had not yet been revealed.

“Avery…” He trailed off, sitting up. Avery sat up too, meeting his eyes. Jameson wanted to get lost in them and never come back. “I may have one last surprise.” She quirked a brow.

“Like what?” She said, a sly smile playing on her face. Jameson couldn’t help but smile back as he pulled her to her feet, and took her hand. He led her to the garage, although the car had been in the giant storage room before he took it out, and put his hands over her eyes.

“I’m going to see it anyway, Jameson.” She said, with a playful huff. Jamesons smile grew.

“I know. But I want the surprise to last longer. I’ll tell you when you can look.” If her eyes weren’t covered, I’m sure Avery would have rolled them, but instead she just nodded and followed him. He opened the garage door before leading her inside.

“Are you ready?” He asked her. There was only one moment of hesitation before she spoke.

“Yes.” Her voice was sure and confident, and just from that Jameson could feel himself falling in love with her a million times over again. He removed his hands from over her eyes and heard her physically gasp as she stared at the car in front of her. There was silence, as she slowly walked towards the car and let go of Jamesons hand, and Jameson didn’t have to see her face to know she was shocked.

“Jameson…” She said, trailing off as her hand brushed the cars surface. Jameson just stared at her as he waited for her to say something else. Anything else. “How did you find this?” Her voice was full of disbelief and awe. Jameson smiled.

“Well it was difficult, as I didn’t know if the car was even still in one piece, but I eventually found it.” He said. Avery turned around to look at him, and Jameson saw tears in her eyes. Immediately, his heart stopped. Had he done something wrong?

“Jameson.” She said, the tears now starting to slip down her cheek. Jameson immediately backtracked.

“Oh Avery, I’m so sorry. Did you not want to see it again because it reminded you of your mother? I’m seriously sorry Heiress, I didn’t know-“ He started apologizing, but Avery cut him off.

“No!” She said, putting her hands out. Jameson paused. She brought them back to her sides and smiled. “It’s just… this is the best gift that anyone’s ever given me. I always wondered what happened to this car, and now you fixed it for me? Jameson.” She said, her voice breaking on the last part as she rushed over to him and brought his lips to hers. Jameson felt the blood rush back into his face as he kissed her back, wondering how he got so lucky. Eventually they separated, and Avery held his face in her hands.

“Thank you.” She said, tears running down her cheeks. Jameson wiped them away individually with his thumb, before speaking.

“Of course. But, Heiress, how can you like the car when you haven’t even driven it yet?” He said, a smile playing on his face. Averys eyes widen.

“You mean, the cars not too old to drive it?” She asked, raising a brow as a grin overtook his face. Her smile made his stomach twist.

“Well, it was,” He said, grinning himself and reaching into his pocket, pulling out a pair of car keys. “Before I fixed it.” He held the keys out for Avery to take, and met her eyes. She stared into his eyes for 3 seconds before grabbing the keys and his hand, and speaking.

“Let’s do it.”

Avery drove the car out of the garage and onto the racing track, but slowly, in case the car couldn’t handle it.

“Oh, cmon,” Jameson said, once they were on the track. “Can’t you speed up?” Avery face was still full of disbelief, and when she laughed it was breathy.

“You sure?” She asks. Was he sure the car was safe? Well, yes, since he’d updated all of the gear and made sure everything was working fine. He gently took her chin in his hand.

“I’m sure.” He said, softly. She held his eyes, before nodding and putting her hands back on the wheel. Without a warning, Avery suddenly speeds up and starts driving faster than Jameson thought she would at first. A grin overtook his face as she drove faster and faster, as if testing the cars limits. She drove, again and again around the track without saying a word. Then, suddenly, a sob rattled her chest as she slowed down and pulled over on the side of the track. Jameson leaned closer to her too see if she was okay.

“Avery? What’s-“ He was about to finish, but she cut him off.

“Thank you.” She said, tears streaming down her face.

“You don’t know how much this means to me. It almost feels like my mom is still alive, and taking me out for a test drive in my brand new car.” She said, sniffing and laughing sadly. Jameson smiled back, and kissed her nose.

“You’re welcome, Heiress. But just for the record, I think I have to ask….” He said, taking her hands in his. “Was your mom a fan of fast cars?” Jameson placed her hands back on the wheel, and held his own over them. Avery stared at his hands on hers before turning to him, tears still in her eyes. She was luminous, absolutely beautiful and brilliant in every way, and then she was smiling. To make matters worse for Jamesons heart, she raised a brow, and that little movement made his heart race.

“Are you challenging me, mystery boy?” She asked. Jameson gave her one of his winning smirks, before bringing his face close to hers. It looked like he was about to kiss her, before he brings his mouth to her ear instead.

“Guess.”

——————————————————————————

SORRY THIS IS KIND OF LONG BUT HERE YOU GO!! 💗💗 (also again im rlly sorry that it took so long for me to make this, ive been lazy 😪)

[marvelmaniac715]

Since Schmigadoon was not green-lit for Season Three, I might just write it myself at this point. Last year on the 13th of May I wrote a plot summary and a cast list, I’ll put them together in this post so you can see what I’m going for because I might adapt it into a script style fanfiction (songwriting isn’t my strong suit). I know I’ve already posted this, but I just wanted to see if anyone was interested in reading this. Here’s the (extremely lengthy) plot summary:

A few years have gone by and Josh and Melissa have twins (Oliver and Annie). Life is stressful and the family struggles to connect with each other, so either Josh or Melissa suggest taking a family vacation to Schmigadoon or Schmicago to destress. They get there and find a deserted woods, with nobody around. There’s a brief interlude with dancing rats (Cats) and a woman who looks remarkably like Bobbie from last season who insists that she’s a train (Starlight Express). There’s no catch this time, the family can leave whenever they want, but just as they go to leave (filled with disappointment) a chorus of children approach (the kid choir from Joseph and The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat) and Josh and Melissa’s kids get excited and run off into the woods with them. The rest of the season is Josh and Melissa searching for their children whilst learning Into The Woodsy life lessons about parenting from Schmigadoonians who now take the form of fairytale characters (Into The Woods) and (confusingly) Les Mis inspired characters such as a French woman who had to sell her hair in order to provide for her son (Fantine from Les Mis but genderswapped Cosette to bring back the boy who played Carson in Season One). Meanwhile the twins become disillusioned with life in the kid chorus and stage a coup against their leader (the Narrator from Joseph with subtle influences from Bill Sykes from Oliver). The season ends with the family being greeted by a third leprechaun, the triplet to the other two leprechauns, who’s name is Johnathan (in honour of Johnathan Larson). The final song of the season is a mix of Seasons of Love and Children Will Listen as Josh and Melissa - along with their children - return to modern society with a closer bond than ever before.

And here’s the (also lengthy because I wanted to put in detail) cast list:

Cecily Strong - Melissa Gimble:

Melissa is the same as she always is, kind, funny, a big fan of musicals, but the stress of parenting two hyperactive twins is starting to wear her out, and she’s less willing to join in with Schmigadoon shenanigans than usual, and she may yell at this season’s leprechaun when he eventually appears for putting her children in danger. Also, is a forbidden romance with a stranger who’s not so unfamiliar in the cards? Melissa is faithful to Josh, but old lovers and crushes have a certain way of getting to you…

Keegan-Micheal Key - Josh Skinner:

Again, Josh is the same as he always is, except he too is stressed out by raising twins and his teaching position, and he’s developed a much stronger interest in musicals that he, along with his wife, tries to pass down to his children. In my hypothetical third season, his reaction to the newest version of Schmigadoon (the ‘Schmoods’ and surrounding French district) is a lot like Melissa’s reaction to Schmigadoon in Season One, because this is the period of musicals he is most familiar with and he gets so excited whenever he spots a reference. Is he a cool dad? Well… he certainly has a thing or two to learn from a few Schmigadoonians, but he and his kids get along great (even if he is a little overprotective at times).

Dove Cameron - The Princess:

That isn’t a placeholder. That’s the character’s name. Think of Rapunzel from Into The Woods, but combine her with Cosette from Les Mis and Christine from Phantom of the Opera. She’s your typical ingenue at the start of the season, sheltered from the world by her adoptive mother (we’ll get to her) and dreaming of romance. But as the season progresses, she (with a little encouragement from Melissa) begins to break out of her shell and pursue romance with mysterious French Schmigadoonians (oh, the scandal of it all!).

Aaron Tveit - The Prince:

The Prince is a more villainous character, he falls in love with The Princess and is convinced that they are destined to be together (think of the two princes from Into The Woods with Marius from Les Mis levels of pining) and refuses to take no for an answer. This would be a sort of dark reimagining of Jenny and Topher’s romance from Season Two, and Melissa would point this out at one point (but nobody sees the comparison except for her). Does he find romance by the end? Perhaps, but that is yet to be decided.

Alan Cumming - The Wolf:

As you can see, a lot of character names are symbolic (a lot like Into The Woods). At the beginning of the season, Josh and Melissa are convinced that he’s the one who lured their children away (hey, they’ve seen Into The Woods and The Wolf looks VERY similar to the wolf that ate Little Red Riding Hood in that musical, they don’t want to take chances) but it’s a red herring, and the ‘sneaking around’ they catch him doing is merely to provide for his pup, Clawsette (Little Cosette from Les Mis, slightly inspired by the SNL Diner Lobster Sketch with the lobsters in terms of naming). His character will help to teach lessons about parenting to Josh and Melissa via a song, and the character may be French, with subtle references to Duly Blight and Mayor Menlove because of course there will be.

Kristen Chenoweth - The Witch:

What can I say? She’s the witch from Into The Woods, I just wanted to allow Dove Cameron and Kristen Chenoweth to play mother and daughter again. She would also teach Josh and Melissa about parenting in a VERY Children Will Listen inspired song.

Jane Krakowski - Leader:

Leader of the troupe of children that lures Josh and Melissa’s twins into the woods. She’s seemingly kind at first (she’s inspired by the Narrator from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat after all) but she soon reveals a sinister dark side reminiscent of Bill Sykes from Oliver, and she makes the children under her employ carry out her dirty work (crime such as theft).

Patrick Page - The Narrator:

The Narrator from Into The Woods, but more sinister. There’s a running gag where Josh and Melissa (big Into The Woods fans) continuously try to sacrifice him to whatever monster or rival is onscreen, thinking that that will help them to ‘reclaim their own stories’ like it did for the characters in Into The Woods. He gets more songs that show off his awesome deep voice, and he isn’t employed by the leprechauns. He’s their father. That would extend the parenting theme I’m trying to build and show the sometimes strained relationships between parents and children.

Martin Short - All Three Leprechauns:

He’s back as the leprechauns! This season’s new addition is Johnathan, a very Rent inspired character who may have a striped scarf. And yes, he would have a line paying homage to that show, such as ‘sorry my land isn’t as flashy as my brothers’, I’m struggling to pay rent’. It’s stupid, I know, but it brings me joy.

Tituss Burgess - Unsure:

I want him to be in this, but I’m not sure HOW. He’s a phenomenal actor though, so I want him to at least have a cameo as a French villager (Ratatouille the Musical, anyone?).

Fred Armisen - Unsure:

He’s in the same boat as Tituss for me, but I would perhaps cast him as Alan Cumming’s character’s ‘mate’ or something so that Layton x Menlove could live on in a way.

Ann Harada - Leader of the Rats:

Somebody had to do it. She’s basically Grizzabella from Cats as a rat, and when the characters help out in the final episode, she leads the charge. This is no slight against Ann Harada, she’s great, but I thought it would be fun if she could have a song (or a brief snippet of a song that keeps getting cut off as a running gag similar to ‘I’ll drink to that’ lady from last season) inspired by Memory from Cats.

Jaime Camil - The Phantom:

No prizes for guessing which 1980s musical inspired this character. Melissa has a big crush on the Phantom of the Opera, and she may have a brief romance with this character (Baker’s Wife from Into The Woods all over again) but she gets over herself and sets him up with The Princess, seeing her as a version of Christine, and that it would be the ultimate fan service to set the two up together in order to ‘fix the ending’ of Phantom.

Ariana Debose - Francine:

Fantine from Les Mis, but she doesn’t die. And she has a son unlike Fantine. (Mason, played by the boy who played Carson in Season One). She helps to teach parenting lessons due to her dedication to her son. By the end of the season, she may have a romance with The Princess, but I’m currently undecided.

The Twins - Casting Unclear:

The twins are about nine or ten, and they’re scrappy and adventurous. They love musicals like their parents, but because this is their coming of age story (Into The Woods, remember) they will go from naive to wise by the end of the season, after overthrowing a powerful dictator, of course…

[secretswiftymarvelfan]

Some Cruel Joke - Johnny Storm x Reader (College AU)

Summary: Your confidence and beliefs take a hit after overhearing some nasty things

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: Angst! Girls being bitches! Fluff! College Drinking! Language!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics​

Masterlist

You were scribbling in your notebook, writing the idea you had for your next assignment as you walked out of your evolution class. You tried your best to stay out of everyone’s way, but you still heard the scoffs of people in such a rush they couldn’t wait a couple of seconds for the path clear. When you got outside you move over to the side completely out of the way, still scribbling in your notebook as you sat down on the steps.

“Hey there’s my favourite genius,” Johnny says announcing his presence as sits down next to you.

“Genius is being kind” you point out shooting him a look.

“Don’t sell yourself short shortcake, I have it on good authority that Reed is always trying to beat your scores” Johnny says nudging you with his elbow.

“I highly doubt that,” you say rolling your eyes.

“It’s true, Sue is constantly complaining that he studying so hard to beat you, you may just be the reason they break up” Johnny chuckles.

“Still not finding this reassuring” you point out shaking your head at him.

“Oh, you know what I mean” Johnny laughs.

“Thankfully yes, after all these years I’m fluent in johnny” you chuckle.

You had been friends with Johnny for as long as you could remember. You guys were practically inseparable at school even when his popularity grew, he always found you in the lunch hall and walked back home with you.

“What are your plans this evening?” Johnny asks rubbing his hands together.

“Um probably studying, maybe get a start on this assignment, I’ve got a really good idea for it,” you say tapping your notebook with your pencil.

“Well, that can wait,” Johnny says snatching your notebook from you.

“Johnny!” You complain trying to grab it back.

“Nope” Johnny says holding it out of your reach “I’ve been invited to a party at the Kappa house and your my plus one”

Your shoulder slump as you look back at him uncertainly “I dunno johnny” you sigh.

“C’mon it’ll be fun, I’ll be with you the entire time,” Johnny says reassuringly.

“But I have so much work to do” you argue gesturing to your notebook in his hand.

“The party is later tonight, if you’re still working then, you need to re-evaluate your work-life balance,” Johnny says giving you a pointed look, “please shortcake” he pleads.

He gives you his puppy dog eyes that instantly made you melt every time. But even without the pleading look, you knew you’d give in eventually, you’d never pass up an opportunity to spend time with Johnny. You’ve always liked Johnny, even before you knew what it was you were feeling towards him, and as you grew older, your feelings only grew stronger.

Of course, you never said anything, because of who he was, and who you were.

“You promised not to ditch me?” You relent.

“I swear, and as soon as you want to leave, we’ll go, together” Johnny promises hand over his heart.

You smile warmly back at him “Thank you, Johnny”

Johnny beams back at you “anything for you shortcake” he says passing back your notebook “I’ve got to get to baseball practice but I’ll pick you up at 7” he says quickly kissing your cheek, jumping up and walking away.

That evening you and Johnny were walking to the party together. You had foregone your usual jeans and sweater, instead opting for a plaid skirt you’d been wanted to wear for ages but were never brave enough to. You’d paired it with a cream long-sleeve ribbed turtleneck top, and knee-high boots

You swallowed nervously as you glanced down at your outfit. You were certain everyone else there would be wearing much more revealing clothing, much sexier clothing. You were gonna stick out like a sore thumb.

“Hey, you alright?” Johnny asks his hand slipping into yours, startling you.

“Oh-uh-um- yeah was-um just thinking I could have worn a different top or something” you stutter shrugging your shoulders.

“Are you kidding me shortcake?” Johnny exclaims with a lopsided smile “you’re smoking hot right now”

You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks as you looked down at the floor, trying and failing to hold back a smile. As you looked back over at Johnny you could see him smiling back at you warmly and for the first time, you thought maybe the hopeless crush you had, wasn’t so hopeless.

“I think we’re both gonna score tonight” he then winks.

Nevermind.

“Yeah sure,” you hum quietly, nodding your head and looking back down at the floor.

Johnny kept hold of your hand as you approached the Kappa house, guiding you inside and into the kitchen. He only dropped your hand when he made you both a drink.

“Don’t worry it’s not strong” he promises as he passes you your red cup.

He puts his hand on the small of your back, gently guiding you out of the kitchen and into the living room. He quickly found a spot on the couch, it was a bit tight with so many others. But you didn’t mind, not when Johnny stretched his arm out behind you on the back of the couch.

Conversations flowed around you, Johnny laughing and talking with all his friends, with people he didn’t even know. It never mattered with Johnny, he could make friends with anyone. A couple of people asked you questions like what you studied, hobbies, and the typical get-to-know-you questions, but none of them sparked a conversation. So you just sat and listened to Johnny’s conversations instead.

“I’m just going to the restroom,” you told Johnny leaning in so he could hear you over the music

“You okay?” He asks to lean in as you did.

You give him a reassuring smile, nodding in response before standing up and walking out of the room. You made your way up the stairs, about to round a corner when you overhead a conversation that made you freeze.

“Did you see that dork he brought with him?” One girl said, and it didn’t take a genius to know that they were talking about you and Johnny.

“Yeah there’s no way they’re together, she’s a pity fuck at most” another girl stated.

“I bet it’s his initiation, fake date her, like Wyler, did with that art creep” the first girl laughed.

You felt your heart clench at their words. You knew your chances with Johnny were practically none existent, but hearing others thought the same was heartbreaking. You had been the butt of jokes for years, you’d been told someone liked you only for it to be a cruel joke.

But you knew Johnny, he was your friend. He wouldn’t do anything like that, every move he made, words he said couldn’t be fake, for some initiation.

You didn’t dare face those girls though, you didn’t want to see the looks on their faces as they laughed at you. So you quickly turned around and rushed back down the stairs.

When you poked your head into the living room you couldn’t see Johnny. You then heard his loud laughter from the kitchen. You followed the sound of his laughter, finding him in the kitchen with a couple of his friends, all of them with their backs to you as they remade drinks.

“So that chick you brought? She your girl?” Colin asks making you stop short at the threshold of the kitchen.

“Ah” Johnny sighs, his shoulders dropping slightly “no… she’s just a friend”

“Not gonna happen then?” Bryce then asked.

“Nope, not a chance” Johnny states shaking his head.

“Well, you had me fooled” Bryce chuckled taking a sip of his drink.

Your heart practically stopped. If it wasn’t for the loud music and raucous conversation you were pretty sure you could hear your heart breaking. You just couldn’t believe it, you didn’t want to believe it.

You couldn’t be here, you couldn’t face Johnny right now. So you left. You got all the way out to the front porch before you stopped. The guilt of just leaving without saying anything makes you pause. Pulling out your phone you were about to call for a cab and text Johnny that you were leaving.

“Hey, you okay?” Johnny said behind you, jogging down the stairs to meet you.

“Um- yeah just wanted some fresh air” you mutter looking down at the floor.

“Are you sure? Did something happen?” Johnny asks putting his hand on your arm.

You quickly turned, so his hand fell from your arm “actually I'm pretty tired, can we go home?”

“Yeah, yeah sure,” Johnny says his eyes searching your face, or at least as well as they could with you avoiding his gaze.

Keeping your eyes on the ground in front of you, you started briskly walking back towards your place. You didn’t wait for Johnny, you only knew he was following when you heard him jog to catch up.

The walk back home was pretty much silent. Johnny occasionally asked you questions like ‘did you enjoy yourself’ and ‘did you like chatting with his friends’ but you just responded with small hums. You just hoped your excuse that you were tired was good enough.

“Hey um-“ Johnny says clearing his throat quickly “we’ve um been friends for a long, long time and um there’s no one I enjoy spending time with like you because you’re just- just so awesome, so uh I was wondering if maybe you’d like to go out sometime? Like a date?”

That was what finally broke you. The final nail in the coffin. Despite everything you heard you were still clinging to the hope that it wasn’t true. That johnny wouldn’t fake ask you out, as a dare or joke. But it just happened.

“Please don’t do that Johnny” you whispered “please don’t be that guy”

“Shortcake? What- what do you mean?” Johnny asks confused stopping to face you.

“Please don’t be the guy who asks me out as a joke” you mutter, hugging yourself tightly as you glanced over at him tears in your eyes.

“What-“ Johnny breathes out, his eyes wide.

“I’ve been the butt of that joke for years, all through middle school and high school” you admit shaking your head as tears stream down your face “I heard what those girls said, that I must be some pity fuck or-or a fake date for your initiation, I heard Bryce say you had him fooled” you continue watching as Johnny's face fell, you’d caught him out and he knew it “yet I still believed maybe it’s wasn’t true, but it is- it is true”

“Shortcake…” Johnny mutters taking a step towards you, stopping when you stepped back.

“I just never thought you’d turn into that person, be cruel enough to get someone's hopes up only to pull the rug out from underneath them and laugh” you sniffle wiping away your tears, watching as a flicker of hurt washed over Johnny’s face.

“Shortcake, you’ve got it all wrong” he muttered shaking his head “those girls are just jealous assholes, and Bryce said that because he honestly thought we were dating, fuck I even told him to stay the fuck away when I said we weren’t because you're my shortcake” Johnny exclaimed gesturing back to the party.

Your eyes scan his desperate face, trying to work out if you believed him or not. You wanted to, you really did but you’d been hurt so many times before.

“Do you know why I call you shortcake?” Johnny says sighing gently.

You shake your head, shrugging your shoulders “I dunno because I’m short and I like cake” you guess, unsure what this even had to do with it.

Johnny lets out a light chuckle “well that does apply, but no” he says shaking his head “it’s because in 7th grade when I didn’t make the baseball team, you shared your last slice of strawberry shortcake that your mom made with me to cheer me up, and from that moment on I knew you were special and that I was head over heels in love with you”

Your lips parted in surprise “johnny i- i-“ you stutter in disbelief.

Johnny gives you a warm smile, closing the distance between you his hands reaching up to cup your cheek “so shortcake when I ask you out it's not as a joke or for my initiation, it’s because I love you and I want to date you and because the idea of you being with anyone else kills me”

“Johnny” you whisper softly completely melting at his words.

“So is that a yes to a date?” Johnny asks with a lopsided smile.

“Yes, of course,” you breathe out a smile breaking out on your face.

Johnny's grin grows as he leans down and captures your lips in his. It starts off hesitant but soon grows in confidence as all the years you love you shared for each other pass between you.

Sharing is caring so please reblog if you enjoyed this and maybe even leave a comment to make my day!

Masterlist

I don’t have a taglist so follow @secretswiftymarvelfanlibrary​ and turn on post notifications to be kept up to date!

[safety-pin-punk]

Just saw a post telling people not to donate ‘fast fashion’ to thrift stores because its poor quality and they are already over run with fast fashion. I don’t even know where to start to explain why this is a bad take. But I guess I’ll attempt! (For context - I work at a thrift store that gets a LOT of donations every day!)

Everything that gets donated to a chain thrift store is processed and sorted. Yes even at those bin stores where you can pay by the pound for safety. If an item you’ve donated is deemed too poor quality for the store you dropped it off at, it doesn’t get thrown away, it gets sent to stores that don’t have the luxury of getting a bunch of donations every day.

When I say ‘too poor quality’ I mean in context to what else gets donated. For example: my store is in the middle of Rich People Town. So we get a lot of name brand clothes and a lot of high quality material clothes. So of course that is our first choice to put out on the sales floor when we get it. Someone else may have donated a slightly worn 50/50 cotton/polyester t-shirt that is still perfectly wearable, but we have better options at our store. So we send it to a store that *doesn’t* get those options as often.

If you think the shirt is so poor quality that absolutely no one would ever want it… well maybe you’re right… but you should still donate it anyway. Heres the process for clothes that aren’t sold at Goodwill (I cant speak on this topic for other chains though):

If clothes are not sold at a normal retail store after 5 weeks, they are sent off if an outlet store (typically pay by the pound). The point of outlet stores are to sell at ultra low prices to keep as much out of landfills as possible. If they still dont sell at an outlet store, the next step is auctioning it. The clothes are sold in lots for fairly low prices. The last stop for clothes that dont sell even at auction is that they are sent off to a textile recycler. So all non-ruined clothes eventually get used, even if its ‘poor-quality’

4. The ONLY clothing you should not donate is anything wet/moldy/covered in mildew or god forbid please do not donate clothes that have ANY type of bodily fluids on them. No one wants your kids pooped pants, the shoes you accidentally threw up on, or any uuhhh stained bedroom attire (all real things I’ve had donated). THESE are the only types of items that dont get put through this process. These types of clothes do get sent to landfills… especially if your kids poop is still in the pants…

[iu-jjang]

[FANCAFE] 230122 From.IU - Happy Seollal [Lunar New Year’s Day]

Strictly NO screencapping or sharing allowed on other platforms

Hello uaenas 👋🏻

Are you all have a happy seollal?

I got up early in the morning (by my standards) and returned home for the ancestral rites, ate lots of new year food and fruits, gave my new year bows and received bows too.. keke

Then I returned to my place with lots of food that my mum packed for me, organised my fridge and now I’m finally sitting down to catch my breath! (Actually there wasn’t much to do 🤫)

Many of you will probably be asking in the comments, so I’ll just tell you first that the most delicious dishes were braised short ribs and grilled fish!

Also, the TMI for today (someone will ask for sure, right?) is that my nephew made meatballs for the first time today (my dad used to be in charge of them all) and kept asking me to try them when we sat down to eat, so I tried my best to give all kinds of reactions and eventually I promised him that I would set up shop selling meatballs for him😀

We agreed that the name of the shop will be ‘Meatballs Made by Round Jeongyu Restaurant’~

I didn’t feel like getting up early, was in a daze on my way for the ancestral rites and now that I’m not a kid anymore, it feels awkward to be giving new year bows to my parents and grandma, but it was pretty fun for the whole family to meet and chat and the shiny new year food tasted good even though it always tastes the same and the four crumpled 50,000won notes that my grandma gave me in an envelope are really precious to me.

We tend to meet early, have our meal and go back home. Some uaenas may only be reaching their parents or grandparents’ place now and will be staying for the night, so have a safe journey and eat a lot of delicious food! (Although it’s a bit of trouble..🤫) Receive lots of new year pocket money too! (And give just a little..🙄) Exchange lots of well wishes too!! (Don’t listen to or be the one nagging..🤧) If there are any uaenas not going anywhere and just spending the new year quietly, I hope you have a good rest, eat well, have a good time and spend the short and full new year to the best 🔥

By the way, you know the day after tomorrow will be freezing right..? It’s going to be really cold.. If you didn’t know, you should now!! They say it’s going to be really cold, so take out your thermal wear and winter clothes again..

Coat..? No, that won’t do.. Start wearing that the week after the next..

There’s not much left to winter now! Let’s not give it any chance at all!!! For the rest of winter, dress warmly and don’t fall sick!

Lastly, I gave my word in the the video to uaenas in January.

Now that we’re starting our 6th generation of uaenas, we need a new nickname starting with 6 [yook] but my agency and I are both having a hard time thinking of one.. We have selected two names for now!

To give a bit of spoiler, it’s a close match between the name of a plant and an imaginary animal.

But come to think of it, it’s not just 6, even 7[chil].. myeon jo [turkey]..? 8[pal].. bo chae (stir-fried seafood and vegetables]..??

I don’t want to call our uaenas yookhoe (raw beef dish) or turkey or stir-fried seafood and vegetables..🥲

So anyway I’m trying to think of ideas in advance these days~ keke If you all have any ideas, do share them with us 😌

I’m going to take a nap now then.

As I had to leave early, I pretty much didn’t sleep last night, so I’m really sleepy now.

While I’m sleeping, everyone don’t take a break, eat lots of delicious food and enjoy the new year which only comes around once a year!!

Love love 🫶

Bye! 😪😴

Strictly NO screencapping or sharing allowed on other platforms

Translated by IUteamstarcandy with love

[darkmacadamien]

Whumptober 2023, No. 3: Journal

It begins innocuously enough, with an offhanded suggestion from Dr. Sharon.

“You may benefit from keeping a journal,” she tells him, after a particularly grueling session that leaves Jamie discretely wiping the corners of his eyes every time Dr. Sharon glances down to jot something down in her notebook.

“What, like a diary or something?” Jamie asks.

The idea isn’t totally repulsive (unless Jamie thinks about what his dad would say about keeping a journal, which just makes him sick to his stomach), but Jamie can’t remember the last time he’d picked up a pen to do anything other than sign his name. Besides, Jamie had never been any good with words.

“It can be,” Dr. Sharon concedes. “Or it could be a sketchbook, if you like to draw. Other people use it to save newspaper clippings, or to press flowers, or even to just write down their grocery lists.”

“Ok,” Jamie says, “but, like. What if I do it wrong?”

Dr. Sharon, in her infinite patience and wisdom, doesn’t seem fazed by his question. “It’s different for each person. As long as you enjoy doing it, you can’t do it wrong.”

“Huh,” Jamie says, picking at the hem of his shirt. “I’ll think about it,” he promises her.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

And Jamie does— think about it, that is. He doesn’t go out of his way or anything, but one day, while he’s out shopping, he sees a neat little stack of moleskin journals shoved back in the corner of one of those stores that sells everything under the sun.

He picks one up and runs his fingers along the smooth leather cover. The texture is nice, and he likes that the pages inside don’t have any lines, so he doesn’t feel pressured to write neat and proper, and it’s discrete enough that if his dad dropped by unexpectedly he wouldn’t be suspicious of it, so Jamie drops it in his cart and buys it.

Jamie will probably forget about it, anyway, until he finds it again in a year or two shoved in a desk somewhere, and he decides it’ll make a great Secret Santa gift since he understands how that works now.

Jamie doesn’t forget about it.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

The journal sits on his kitchen counter, taunting him each time he sits down to eat breakfast.

It’s just… Jamie has no fucking idea what to write about. He knows that Dr. Sharon said it’s different for everyone, or whatever, but Jamie can’t even work up enough courage to put a fucking pen to paper, which is just so ridiculous, like.

He plays football in stadiums filled with thousands of people, but he can’t write about his fucking day without having a nervous breakdown about it. Fuck.

Jamie finally manages to write his name on the first page, which fucking ruins the re-gifting value of the stupid thing ‘cause now Jamie’s staked a claim on it, but fuck it: a win is a fucking win.

The journal still remains on his counter, though, unwritten in other than his name.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Then Jamie’s dad gives him a call, and suddenly, he has something to write about.

Jamie hadn’t even answered the phone, but then he went and listened to the voicemail like an idiot. It hadn’t even been that bad, as far as messages from his dad go.

“Hey, junior,” his dad had started, even though Jamie hates it when his dad calls him that. “I see you still don’t know how that phone works. Or maybe you do! Oh, what am I saying— you’re some big-shot football player now, of course, you don’t have time for your old man.”

His dad had laughed then, sharp and guttural in the way that means he doesn’t find it even a little funny. “Only kidding, only kidding— anyways, I was just calling to let you know that I caught your last match on the telly the other day. Let me tell you, son, sometimes I wonder whether you actually do know how to play football—”

And then he’d gone off, drunken ramblings about how Jamie might as well up and fucking quit if he ain’t gonna take the sport seriously until eventually the beep that indicates time cuts him off midsentence.

His dad doesn’t even mention anything specifically, which means he probably hadn’t watched the game at all and had just wanted to call so he could bitch, and, on top of that, it’s the same old stuff Jamie’s been hearing since his dad started coming around in the first place, when Jamie was still young and hopeful with grass-stained knees and a desperate desire to please.

It fucks with him anyways; leaves him staring at the wall for a couple of minutes after the recording clicks off, his ears ringing like his dad had been there in person to tell him off.

Jamie deletes the voicemail, feeling like that one Greek guy who was cursed to do the same thing over and over and over again, and then that stupid fucking journal catches his eye.

Like those shitty magic tricks that make kids cry instead of laugh, he has a stroke of inspiration.

It takes him a moment to find a pen, ‘cause who owns a pen in this day and age, but when he does, he splits open the journal until the spine cracks, and then he’s off like a shot.

Jamie ends up writing four pages before he finally runs out of steam, his handwriting coming out clunky and too big and crooked from misuse.

He’s not sure if he likes the way it leaves him feeling, like there’s an anvil sitting on his chest, but he decides to carry the journal around a little more often that way if he ever has another desire to jot down his thoughts, he has it on hand.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

He gets the urge to write in his journal three more times that week. Once, after training, when Roy had ripped into him a little more than usual. Then again, while he’s out clubbing with the lads and he catches a whiff of his dad’s favorite beer. And then finally, when he’s looking through articles of himself online, and he finds a gossip rag trashing his hair, the fucking Philistines.

Each time, it leaves him feeling heavy and tired, with a seemingly endless pit in his stomach that sends bile bubbling up his throat.

“I’m definitely doing it wrong,” he tells Dr. Sharon during their next session.

Dr. Sharon raises her eyebrows inquisitively, so Jamie digs his journal out of his cross-body bag and hands it over. Dr. Sharon flicks through the pages carefully, eyes flicking over his writing in that freaky-fast way that would make Jamie think she wasn’t actually reading it if he didn’t already know she was dead smart.

“It’s like, every time I finish writing about something, I just feel so awful. Like, worse than I did before I wrote anything.”

Dr. Sharon hums in acknowledgment. “I notice you tend to write about negative experiences with other people,” she says.

“Yeah, ‘cause I feel like I actually have something to talk about, you know? But then it just feels like I shouldn’t be writing bad about people behind their backs, like. And then I feel bad ‘cause I’m doing it anyway.”

“Would you say that the emotion you’re feeling is guilt?” Dr. Sharon asks.

Jamie snaps his fingers. “Exactly! And since it’s making me feel so bad, I just thought maybe it’s not helping me like it’s s’posed to.”

“That’s very insightful, Jamie,” she praises him. “Have you considered writing about things that make you happy instead?”

“Huh,” Jamie says. The thought hadn’t occurred to him.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

So, Jamie gives that an honest try, too. He writes about when he has a particularly good day at training, or about how he’s always wanted a dog when he sees one during his morning jog, or about how much he loves his mummy.

Then he branches off a little, remembering Dr. Sharon’s point that journals can be used for literally anything, and adds a newspaper article about Sam’s restaurant, and then some magazine cutouts from Keeley’s latest modeling gig, and then the note that Ted had left him after the Manchester City game.

Jamie goes to watch a movie with Isaac and Colin and saves the ticket, gluing it next to a wrapper from a butterscotch candy he’d gotten from Higgins. Roy brings him takeout one day after Jamie scores a hat trick, so Jamie snags the receipt while Roy isn’t looking and adds that to his journal too.

Jamie dedicates an entire two-page spread to a detailed stick-figure drawing of him and Dani playing pick-up, which nearly brings Dani to tears when he shows him.

“Jamie Tartt,” Dani says, his voice all choked up, “this is beautiful. You must let me take a photograph.”

Jamie does him one better and draws another, which does end up bringing Dani to tears, and when he’s done weeping and hugging the daylights out of Jamie, he hangs it up in his locker.

So, Jamie writes in his journal, and he cries on his journal, and he spills over-priced coffee on his journal. He decorates it with tacky glitter, and stickers, and any little odds and ends that strike his fancy.

He makes other people write in his journal, too, like Ted, who leaves him with a ten-page anecdote that Jamie doesn’t really get, but it makes him feel nice anyway, and Beard, who leaves a freakishly detailed self-portrait in red Sharpie, and Nate, who carries it around for an entire day to map out plays.

Jamie even manages to get Roy to contribute, who grumbles about it but takes it home anyway and gives it to Phoebe to sketch in (though Roy does end up leaving a surprisingly heartfelt note on the bottom of the very last page). Keeley uses a page to plan out an entire month of brand deals, and in a fit of unorthodox creativity, Ms. Welton makes a collage of all of Richard Mannion’s worst photos, which makes Jamie laugh because he never liked the prick anyway.

When he’s in Manchester again, he tracks down his mummy, who writes about Jamie when he was a sexy little baby, and Simon, who neatly records his best recipe for lemon tarts (Jamie’s favorite).

Jamie’s journal slowly becomes filled with little pieces of all the people he loves, until one day, he’s waiting for the ink to dry on the final page, with the journal so full he can hardly close it with the elastic band along the side.

Jamie cries a little bit, ‘cause it’d been quite a long journey with the stupid thing, hadn’t it, but then the lads get him another as a Secret Santa gift, so he gets to start the whole thing over again.

[the-bjd-community-confess]

Long-ass confession about thinking through changing up my collection

I have 3 various V0lks SD dolls and I think my hobby will be turning more towards this direction in the future as I think of selling off my collection of smaller non-V0lks sized dolls. I started in the hobby some years ago with much less room for dolls - so I decided to get a number of less expensive smaller dolls with non-standard measurements and although I have enjoyed sewing and making some items for them, I always enjoy sewing for the SD size more, and now I also have room to comfortably display more SD size dolls. The biggest problem though has been that I really don’t have much fun at all hunting the right size and style of shoes, eyes and wigs and other props and things for the smaller dolls to complete any new looks or the dioramas I had wanted to make, and often these things also take forever to ship, don’t look right or or fit right and so now I also have a drawer full of things that just weren’t quite suitable so that’s really just money wasted. I actually put those smaller dolls away in their boxes last year and so far I have not missed them in 9 months so I’m thinking it’s time to sell them. 

By contrast, I have my V0lks dolls out all the time and it is always exciting to anticipate the Volks releases via photos and announcements in V0lks News. I look forward to to making a seasonal order for one or more beautiful new V0lks outfits, some shoes, maybe a wig or other accessories several times per year and it is so nice to have everything arrive quickly, packaged beautifully, fitting perfectly and the items always looking lovely on my dolls so much that I usually want to set up a photo shoot right away so my photography has also progressed a lot. That adds a lot of fun to my hobby enjoyment overall and I’m finding out that for me, it’s worth the extra expense now that I have really thought about it. It even makes me want to sew more for them to add to their wardrobes and to photograph them more in casual everyday snapshots.

A few of my doll friends aren’t as interested in my almost-all V0lks focus now but I have also met some new people who also really love these dolls the most, and that’s fun because they also get excited for the news and releases.So I’ll get ready to sell the other dolls at reasonable cost and in enough time for people to hopefully be able to use layaway to buy them for Christmas, and also list everything that doesn’t fit one of my V0lks dolls - just have a big clean-out sale, then trade or give away smaller things if they do not sell and save that money towards eventually buying at least 2 more Vplks dolls in new sizes, either searching second hand or buying them one at a time as they become available via online FCS or by lottery. I know the dolls and items that I sell will probably not raise such a good amount of cash even compared to what I spent but honestly, I feel like I am better served to cut the losses and have a fewer amount of dolls that I really enjoy a lot to make a nicer collection right now and then only buying those types of dolls in the future that I know I can enjoy more easily to buy things for from now on. 

Why this long confession here? Well, I do get tired of reading mean confession posts about others. But mostly because I know a lot of bjd hobbyists consider people who mostly have V0lks dolls to sometimes be some kind of elitist brand snob (and to be fair some really are, that’s true) but for me, I guess confessing my process about how I arrived at my current decisions might help someone else also think on their own collection in a way that may allow them to let go of less-loved dolls without guilt about the sunk cost and also to help give themselves permission to change their ideas about how they want to approach the hobby according to what makes them happy - even if it means considering very different dolls right in the middle of their doll journey, regardless of what anyone else might think. 

~Anonymous

[neonradiation]

Album Review: 'Heart Engine' by Alpha Chrome Yayo

Key Quote: "For an ACY album, you have to expect the unexpected."

‘Heart Engine’ is the new 8 track album released on 10-Nov-23 by Belfast based artist Alpha Chrome Yayo. Par for the course for an ACY album, you have to expect the unexpected. So, I let the first listen wash over me then I inspected it a little closer…

1. All That Matters

Initially a little chaotic, this opener with freestyle organ does eventually find itself. For some reason I’m getting Frank Zappa vibes and then the humorous ‘Speak and Spell’ style vocals punctuate the music and I’m back in the present decade. It’s short and sweet. 

2. Heart Engine

This one is a different direction altogether - if it’s not an insult I’d describe it as chill or lounge music. It's a laid-back instrumental with a nice horn section, funky bass and even some pan-pipes for good measure. It’s also very melodic and has an old-fashioned fade out at the end - love it.

3. Dancing Is Love

So this one may split the listener's opinion - musically it’s very easy on the ear but the vocals are erm… not. Some kind of vocal changer is going on here I think but the lyrics do suffer because of it. I had to look them up and it was all about looking forward all week to dancing the weekend away. A good theme but not my favourite so far.

4. Stock Exxxchange

The market is open! Although the vocals have been manipulated here as well, we can hear the words this time around. This is a short essay about life in the financial City - I now feel qualified to buy high and sell low? It's an original sounding jaunty little number - what’s not to like?

5. Like A Mystery

Some wizard guitar playing on this one along with some beautiful electric piano and I’m already hooked. Although the lyrics are a little difficult to hear, this time it doesn’t seem to matter as much - it’s all about the vibe.

6. Snow Blossoms

That same vibe continues on this instrumental and I’m back in the lounge sipping an Old Fashioned cocktail.

7. Tuxedos And Tears

Out of all the vocal FX this one seems to work the best - somewhere between Daft Punk and a melodic Robbie The Robot. But what stands out on this track for me is the funky bass synth and piano riff which takes this track up a level. It’s one of my favourites on the album and it feels like we are just getting started.

8. I Wish I Was Watching X Files With You

ACY has saved the best ‘til last - I absolutely love this right from the very beginning. The house piano sounds sublime and the synth hooks are hooky. The vocals and lyrics add something special to the mix and the end result is one very catchy pop song. 

This is a mini-album really and I was disappointed when it came to end so soon (yes I know I can replay it forever). I just wanted to hear more new songs, especially in the vein of the last two. So I’ll be very interested to see which direction we go in next from Alpha Chrome Yayo - but I'm sure the humour will still flow...

Alpha Chrome Yayo Contact Details:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/alphachromeyayo

Bandcamp: https://alphachromeyayo.bandcamp.com

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5zLis4yrXwIFGKX7ZKZd12?si=ey2eVv9AStOMKs3Gb2EMGg

[illustrious-rocket]

10 Songs, 10 People

Tagged by @blind-the-winds

Rules: list ten songs, then tag ten people to pass the game on to! (bonus points if it's from a wip/character playlist!) 

I hope it’s okay if I bend the rules a little bit because let’s be honest, I don’t know 10 people lol... I’m going to just list some songs that come to mind and talk about them, and I’ll tag someone who I know will have fun with this.

Tagging: @lilliths-httyd-blog

Jax, because you mentioned I might be able to add to your list and Eva came up in yours, I may as well start with filling in the songs from the Rebuild movies, Utada Hikaru’s “Beautiful World,” “Sakura Nagashi” and “One Last Kiss.” The original series’ “A Cruel Angel’s Thesis” was described as “ an anglerfish lure to make you think it's upbeat and kickass, when it's literally an anime about depression,“ and “Beautiful World” could be thought of in similar terms. It plays during the credits of the first two films in the series of four, and both times it wants you to think that maybe this time, the world really isn’t so bad. Shinji and Rei end the first movie finally connecting. At the end of the second, Shinji finally goes fucking postal after being kicked around by his rotten father and decides to get what he wants with his own two hands. Maybe there’s hope that this time everything will be different. Maybe.

Nope. It’s all a windup for the absolute gut punch the third movie delivers. Things are as depressing as ever, possibly worse. And fittingly, “Sakura Nagashi” replaces the upbeat, hopeful sound of “Beautiful World” with a bleak and mournful one suited for the bleak film it concludes. But even then, one sliver of hope slips through - “everyone finds love, in the end” - that reminds the listener that even when things look absolutely hopeless, they will eventually get better. “One Last Kiss” is the end point of that journey, providing the point of view of someone who has survived hitting rock bottom and is managing to move on.

To progress onto some other answers...

The next one has a story behind it. A couple years ago I learned of an (apparently?) obscure late-80s Italian horror movie, Paganini Horror. Directed by Luigi Cozzi (the director responsible for, among other things, the infamous Star Wars ripoff Starcrash a decade prior) it is pretty much what its title implies, a horror movie using the violinist Niccolo Paganini as a central figure. The first red flag was why it came to my attention in the first place - the main characters are an 80s girl rock band, and in their very first appearance in the movie, they’re performing an “original” song that is actually just 95% copied from “You Give Love a Bad Name” by Bon Jovi. Bad enough, but that’s not why I’m telling this story.

Last year I finally got around to actually watching this movie, and let me tell you, it is fucking unhinged. The plot literally revolves around the band needing a new song - because, in a moment of supreme irony, their manager feels the “You Give Love a Bad Name” ripoff is too unoriginal - and one of their members gets into contact with a shady salesman (played with ridiculous glee by Donald Pleasance, nearing the end of a career where he was in plenty better than this film including portraying James Bond archenemy Blofeld) who sells him “Paganini Horror,” an unpublished piece by Paganini.

Dude, I am not fucking kidding when I say this “unpublished score” is just “Twilight” by Electric Light Orchestra with the lyrics removed. They want you to believe a composer from the 16th century wrote an ELO song from 1981. The entire movie hinges on this. The band decides to use the score for their new song and creates a new set of lyrics (titled “Paganini Horror” in the film but more likely called “The Winds of Time” based on the lyrics) and decide to film a video for it in a house where Paganini once lived. Listen to this. Tell me that is not literally the EXACT SAME SONG as “Twilight.” (Warning for the image in that video, there is a skeleton and blood.)

It gets more unhinged from there. It turns out - though not without some extremely unsubtle foreshadowing - that the guy who sold them the score either is the devil or an agent thereof. They sold their souls to commit copyright infringement. Thus, when they go to Paganini’s old manor to film their video, they become trapped due to his curse from when he sold his own soul, and are stalked throughout the mansion by his demonic spirit. Now, you might have looked at that image in that video and thought, wow, that looks awesome. A skeleton with wispy white hair playing a violin with a bow that’s dripping blood?

Yeah, that ain’t true. In the actual movie, he looks like Tommy Wiseau wearing a cheap costume from Spirit Halloween, with a mask that you can clearly see the actor’s face beneath through the eye holes. He doesn’t even kill the way the poster implies; he has a switchblade hidden in his violin instead. Really, it’s just a slasher movie with the novelty of the killer being a famous composer from centuries ago. The concept is so off the wall insane that it’s bizarrely entertaining.

On a similar note is “Crystal of a Star” by Stefani Christopherson, the cherry on the top of the absolutely batshit crazy ending of the 1986 Alien ripoff Star Crystal. This movie is pretty much what you’d expect from that description - it stars by showing “Mars” with a blue sky and degenerates from there. Two whole groups of characters are briefly introduced only to be killed off minutes later before the actual protagonists even show up once. The sets are so cheap you can see that the floors in the spaceship are made of paper and bend under the actors’ feet. The ship itself is ridiculously designed, requiring one to crawl through a network of tubes to go anywhere. The acting is Z grade. The kills, except for the admittedly decent goop and blood effects, aren’t very frightening (they’re all done by a tentacle controlled through puppetry; at one point you can see the hand controlling it.)

None of that compares to the absolutely surreal experience of the last 20 minutes of this movie. The first sign something is about to go wildly off the rails is the fact that the alien, who has used the titular crystal (an all-purpose “computer” that can do whatever he needs of it) to hack into the ship’s mainframe, reads a digital Bible, specifically passages about treating one’s enemy as you would want to be treated.

That’s just the warning. It gets crazier.

With about 12 minutes left in the movie, the two remaining humans realize they need to confront the alien, who has taken up hiding in the engine room of their ship. When they face him, this weird killer alien who has been stalking them and killed their three crewmates.... apologizes and becomes ET instead of a Xenomorph. I’m not making this up. I couldn’t. The alien, GAR, even looks like ET, just having been put into a microwave and exploded first (the puppet used when GAR is fully on screen is admittedly well made, representing his slimy and somewhat ethereal appearance effectively. It’s easily the best thing in the film.) The entire ending of this movie has the two survivors become friends with GAR, repair the ship together with him, eat with him, and even play board games with him!!! He killed their three crewmates, the entire first crew of the ship, and possibly thousands more if he was at fault for the space station that exploded early in the film! And then, after all of that, the ending is born from sheer, unadulterated audacity - a “gravity tunnel” that can get the ship to Earth opens, which leads the humans and GAR to realize they have to part ways. This fucking movie actually has the gall to make the ending a sad farewell to GAR, who is taking another ship to return to his planet, This is complete with “Crystal of a Star”, a sad song that depicts GAR as a lonely space traveler the singer is better for having met. Now, I get they were going for some sort of spiritual thing (especially considering GAR’s redemption begins when he reads the Bible) but when all of it happens in the last 15-20 minutes of the movie, and he was an unstoppable killer alien prior to that point, it just does not land.

Just to knock a few better answers off the list...

I’ve been listening to a lot of the German synth-pop band Alphaville’s music of late, particularly their first two albums, 1984′s Forever Young and 1986′s Afternoons in Utopia, plus last year’s orchestral album Eternally Yours. Forever Young is an interesting one - by the admission of founding members Marian Gold and Bernhard Lloyd they didn’t know what they were doing at the time and made heavy use of machines that could generate music to make up for their lack of skill in playing instruments, yet it not only produced the group’s three most well-known songs (the title track, “Big in Japan” and “Sounds Like a Melody”) but a solid B-tier of secondary tracks (”Fallen Angel” and “The Jet Set” stand out for me.) Afternoons in Utopia shows a great evolution in their sound since the first album - they got more comfortable playing instruments, and the album seems to tell a loose story with a vivid, sci-fi hippie bend to it, using dreams, space and gods as recurring themes across the tracks and employing a gimmick where the first track on the album begins halfway through a sentence and the last track ends with the first half of that sentence, creating an endless loop. “Jerusalem,” “Fantastic Dream” and “Lassie Come Home” are my standout picks, but it’s such a solid album that even “Universal Daddy” - the song Gold has identified as his least favorite from the band’s entire history - is above average despite its silly lyrics.

And just to drop in one more, even though I’m way over 10 by now, I’ll stay in the same era and mention that Duran Duran’s “Save a Prayer” has long been a favorite. Its melancholy tone and lyrics struck a chord with me from the first time I heard it, to me depicting the theme of letting go of worry about what will come in the future to live in the moment, even as temporary as it might be.

(And since the original game asked about character playlists, I’ll answer that despite having long left the framework of this game behind: both “Save a Prayer” and “Sounds Like a Melody” both embody the Matt/Nekou dynamic I envision so clearly they might as well be theme songs, lol.)

[em-dashes]

05.18.2023 - Super Suddence May Update!

Total Word Count: 49054 (+11647 since last update, which is. wow)

So uh. Big news. Draft #2 of Suddence is DONE! WAHOO!! 🎉 🎉 🎉 

This feels a little surreal because I remember in April, this draft was crawling along soooo slowlyyyy. What spurred me into such a writing frenzy? Well. First, it’s the idea that once I finish this draft, I can treat myself to some Lego splurging. Second, it’s me discovering that I first started writing Suddence on May 17th 2021, so I was like haha! Wouldn’t it be sooo symmetrical if I finished draft #2 on the same date! That’s not possible, but imagine!

But, fellas, as you can see, it was indeed possible.

So, this second draft! The first half is pretty solid, but since the second half is pretty new territory, it’s quite messy. But all the scenes are there, even if some are only summarized.

If you remember, originally this was supposed to be a novella, under 40k words. It was a short little thing for me to retreat from my big sci fi series that is APHELION. But now it’s already at 49k, and with the summarized scenes expanded, it’ll definitely be way past 50k. So I guess this is an official announcement that You Are Now Entering Suddence is now a novel! Wild.

I’ll take a good break from this story to clear my head, and I’ll take notes for the next draft when ideas come to me.

I’ve been writing in dark mode, with the page colour set to dark grey and the text set to white. Now that I finished the draft, I’m allowing myself to change the text to black and the page colour to cream like a ~regular book~. It’s exciting to think about eventually printing it out into a real, actual book hehe.

I don’t have many new excerpts to share since a lot of it is 1) messy 2) spoilery. So here’s just a bit of the first flashback chapter :^)

Also reminder for Vancouver peeps that I will be at VanCAF this weekend! I’ll be mildly marketing this blog and Suddence, but mostly I’ll be selling art and stickers. I don’t know how many of my followers are even Canadian, let alone in Vancouver, soooo we shall see.

Thanks for sticking along for this one! I know most of yall are probably more interested in APHELION, and for me to suddenly switch into something totally different might have been a little offputting. Like I said, I’m gonna take a break from writing for a bit, and then hopefully I’ll get back into APHELION!

-Emily :^)

[clexa--warrior]

Elon Musk’s deal to buy Twitter has been met with surprise, derision, and gnashing of teeth — and an overwhelming amount of well-intentioned but poorly-informed commentary and analysis.

As someone who has followed the company closely since its inception and has had a chance to talk in depth about technical topics with Jack Dorsey and the company’s other founders over the years, I have a different view.

Here’s a series of common questions regarding the deal and the relationship between Dorsey and Musk about which I see the most errors and misconceptions.

Q: Jack Dorsey is launching “Bluesky,” a new social network to compete with Twitter. I’ll just join that instead!

A: Sorry to disappoint, but Dorsey played a key role in Musk’s deal to take Twitter private. The two are good friends. And Bluesky is an initiative launched by Twitter. In April, Dorsey wrote, “In principle, I don’t believe anyone should own or run Twitter. It wants to be a public good at a protocol level, not a company. Solving for the problem of it being a company however, Elon is the singular solution I trust. I trust his mission to extend the light of consciousness.”

Q: Uh, if “no one should own or run Twitter,” why did Dorsey advocate selling it to Musk… I’m confused?

A: To get it out of the hands of Wall Street investors, and turn it into a “public good at a protocol level, not a company.” Dorsey and Musk believe it can do more good for humanity if it’s an open technology than if it’s a company owned by any one person or by Wall Street investors trying to maximize profits for shareholders.

Q: What do you mean, a “public good at a protocol level?” What even is that?

A: The foundation of the Internet is built on protocols that we mostly take for granted now. TCP/IP and HTTPS enable the web. Modern e-mail is built on top of SMTP and IMAP protocols. Usenet newsgroups are built on top of NNTP. Dorsey envisions a foundational “Twitter” protocol that anyone can implement and run. This would need to become a formal Internet standard, which requires going through the Internet Engineering Task Force’s “Request for Comment” (RFC) process. This can take a long time. This is what Bluesky has been working on starting to map out.

Q: But the Bluesky website says its Beta is “launching soon.” Doesn’t that mean it’s close to ready?

A: It means they’re ready for you to start experimenting with some ideas. It doesn’t mean it’s close to being a “product” or “useful,” or some sort of viable competitor with any other product or service. And as of yet it’s difficult to know exactly what a service might look like. Eventually, it might form the basis for a new implementation of Twitter that would replace the current product, and it could be open for others to interoperate with — if they can build a functional and useful protocol, which may take years.

Q: This all sounds crazy. Doesn’t Musk want to make money by owning Twitter?

A: The goals are more ideological in nature. Musk and his backers believe that the global geopolitical arena was being warped by too much “woke” ideology and censorship, and wanted to fix that by first restoring voices that had previously been silenced —and then implementing technical and algorithmic solutions that allow each user to get the experience they want. They think this can “solve” the problems that people cite about social media content. Making money, they figure, will come from the secondary effects of enabling “free speech” and the possibility of building other services like payments and replacing government on top of such an app. Plus the company’s social graph data is a goldmine for other businesses that may wish to benefit from detailed knowledge of the makeup of society.

Q: Uh, isn’t it naive to think that there’s a technical solution to harmful content? Isn’t that likely to lead to more radicalization and cultish behavior?

A: Yes, it’s completely naive and they are being willfully ignorant of the harmful side effects of content. It is a kind of tech fundamentalist solutionism that posits that for any difficult problem, there must be a technical solution. Many sociologists and cultural scholars would argue differently.

Q: What does Dorsey mean, “I trust [Musk’s] mission to extend the light of consciousness?”

A: This is a reference to “longtermism,” the heavily marketed philosophy being promoted by Musk and his friend William MacAskill that asserts the only thing that matters is humanity’s future in space, and that the only goal of the living is to maximize the number of future humans alive, as well as the number of artificial intelligence instances that could possibly exist in the future. This mandate is most often used to brush aside calls for improving conditions and alleviating suffering among the living here on Earth now. Because, the theory goes, giving a poor person a blanket isn’t likely to be as useful for the future of humanity as building a rocket to Mars. Longtermism is heavily influenced by “Russian Cosmism” and is also directly adjacent to “Effective Altruism.” Musk’s stated mission, which he intends to fulfill in his lifetime, is to “make humanity a multiplanetary species.” The anti-democratic urge in longtermism is rooted in the belief that “mob rule” will lead to nuclear annihilation; we should, Musk thinks, be guided by “wiser” minds — like his and Putin’s apparently.

Q: Okay, so Musk and Dorsey are collaborators in some weird Mars cult, and don’t actually care about making money from Twitter?

A: Yeah, you’re getting it. Musk also seems pretty interested in helping advance Putin’s “multipolar world order,” which is why he plays footsie with QAnon and MAGA accounts, and pals around with Putin and Dmitry Medvedev. “How are things going in Bakhmut?,” Musk asked Medvedev.

Q: So this is why Musk has been so supportive of the Russians lately? I thought he was on Ukraine’s side, since he helped them out with Starlink?

A: It’s best to look at Musk as a kind of power broker between multiple parties, including Ukraine and Russia. SpaceX was made possible by laws passed by Dana Rohrabacher, Putin’s favorite Congressman. He really doesn’t like the US government, the SEC, and our politicians, and all things considered, he’d probably prefer to replace all of it with an app — call it “X,” the everything app. Elon might say: “Do we really need a government, or could everyone just vote with an app? Be honest.”

Q: So Musk wants to overthrow governments, and Dorsey is helping?

A: Don’t be so dramatic. Everyone knows that the only way to advance society is through technocracy. Musk’s grandfather, Joshua Haldeman, was involved in the technocracy movement in Canada in the 1930’s and was arrested — because it was seen as a threat to the government. The philosopher James Burnham wrote in his 1941 book, “The Managerial Revolution” that society should be run by technical managers, not elected politicians. Russian “methodologists” and “political technologists” concluded the same thing in the 1990’s when they realized that “democracy” would just lead to mob-rule by populists. Democracy, they concluded, must be managed. This is what Putin has concluded, also.

Q: So Putin, Musk, and Dorsey share the same vision?

A: It’s complicated. All seem to think a “multipolar world” is a good thing, because after all, shouldn’t Russia get to do its thing and not be bothered by anyone else? That’s “free speech” and opposes “cancel culture,” right? So yeah, that’s aligned with Putin. But Putin himself doesn’t support free speech; his government censors wildly, but it does support speech that breaks the hegemony of the Western elites. As do Musk and friends. This is internally inconsistent.

Q: Back to the money thing… won’t advertisers balk at all this potential chaos, and won’t Twitter’s business model suffer?

A: Musk and the people backing all this are more interested in reshaping the global order than in earning fake “fiat currency.” Their real goal is to usher in “hard currency” and re-base global currencies around scarcity and physical assets. So no it really doesn’t matter much what happens to Twitter’s ad model in the meantime. It will probably do alright, and they can probably find other ways to make money, like adding in payments and weird Dogecoin schemes.

Q: How is Twitter going to help them kill off fiat currency? You mean like replace the dollar as the world’s reserve currency?

A: As the Russian “methodologists” will tell you, it’s incredibly important to control the information space if you want to alter the real world. As the world plunges deeper into war and economic chaos in 2023–2024, there are real (perceived) opportunities to advance cryptocurrencies and asset-backed tokens to replace the dollar. Whether any of this is realistic or not remains to be seen, but this is what they’d like to pursue — Musk and his deal backers in particular.

Q: So this is why Musk seemingly “overpaid” for Twitter? He and his backers want to use it as a tool of information warfare, to kill off the dollar and help usher in Putin’s “multipolar world?”

A: Yes, that’s why they “overpaid” for Twitter. Because the end goals have nothing to do with Twitter or its ad model by itself. It’s merely a means to an end. Musk is likely to join forces with Trump’s Truth Social and Kanye West’s Parler to try to control much of the information space. And they’ve got the threat of Putin’s nukes to force the issue.

Q: So isn’t Musk’s ownership of Twitter a national security risk? Shouldn’t the deal have been stopped on national security grounds?

A: Yes, this is all a national security risk and the deal should probably have been stopped. The fact that it wasn’t is reflective of either fecklessness or capture of the US government.

Q: Can Musk and his friends really do all this? Should we really be worried? It seems so far-fetched.

A: That remains to be seen, and it’s unlikely they can achieve all they’d like to on the timeline they’d prefer. It will likely take years to make Bluesky into a viable product. However, just because it’s hard doesn’t mean they aren’t going to try. As for the broader anti-government agenda, as we’ve seen with January 6th and other attempts to challenge government, even unsuccessful efforts can be incredibly damaging. It’s worth monitoring the direction this takes and, the effects that it has on society and democracy.

A few other minor corrections to popular commentary on the deal:

Musk will just manipulate the stock price to make money. There is no more public-facing “stock price,” it’s a private company now. $TWTR is no longer a thing.

Boy, Jack really screwed Elon by making him overpay. No, Jack basically asked Elon to buy the company and Elon set the price. Jack owned around 2.4% of Twitter. It’s not clear if he even transacted his shares, or kept them.

Parag is smarter than Elon, he forced him to overpay. Eh, I’m sure Parag did his job, but as CEO he was really responsible for operational concerns. It was the company’s Board and legal team that brought it to a successful close. Parag got his agreed-upon severance package.

Elon never really wanted to do the deal… but they forced him. No, he wanted to do the deal all along, for the reasons I outlined. He might have liked to force some disclosures or lower the price. At some point, the delay and expense of potential litigation wasn’t worth it.

For the record I think Elon is a sociopath, and that this all is going to end in disaster — I just couldn’t stand seeing so much shallow, poorly informed analysis proliferate. So I’ve done my best here to set the record straight.

Ultimately what we are dealing with is the fact that social engineering through control of the information environment is an inevitable reality—the only question is who has the means and moral authority to do it. (I’ve written a whitepaper about this set of concerns here.)

If democracy-minded people don’t seize control of the information environment, powerful sociopathic autocrats will do so instead. We leave a power vacuum open at our peril, and at the moment, Musk and Putin are the ones with the most will to fill it.

[punkscowardschampions]

Tancy (pt.4 basically)

Nancy: [Okay, so when we have been at this crackhouse for GOD knows how long, ignoring Grace’s attempts to contact us, just truly doing the most to lose ourselves here, eventually feeling like you gotta get out and you can’t just leave because you’ve spent all your money and are not feeling like calling your family about this, as well as the obvious tentative reach out that this is to him]

Nancy: Could you send a car to come pick me up?

Nancy: I’ll pay you back when I have it

Teddy: [do obvs because you know where she is, you got that peek before you unfollowed + her dealers are your dealers clearly, and send her whatever relevant deets about said car she would need idk I’m not a posh person but I assume like an ETA or whatever, likewise also send her some money because she clearly doesn’t have any]

Nancy: Thank you

Nancy: I’ve forgotten how the buses work and I don’t think I want to stand out at the stop here even if I could work it out

Teddy: I wouldn’t know where to begin with something like that

Nancy: If there’s ever a time to get mugged, I’m not sure if it’s preferable to have nothing on you or that’ll just anger them

Nancy: I wasn’t sure if you’d blocked me as well as unfollowed

Teddy: Where’s the fun in that? You may want to set me up with someone more suitable or keep me in the loop about how the bidding went

Nancy: You’ve reread the conversation then

Nancy: I know I said some things in the heat of the moment that I didn’t mean

Teddy: I didn’t need to, I haven’t forgotten what you said

Nancy: I wish you could

Teddy: You would, but alas, it appears I didn’t catch your disability after all

Nancy: Sorry seems a little redundant but I am

Nancy: I don’t even understand how we started arguing, never mind how it got to that place

Teddy: Never mind ghoulishly dissecting the argument once again, go home, go to bed

Nancy: You really won’t talk to me?

Teddy: What do you expect me to say?

Nancy: It’s not much of a conversation if I direct you

Teddy: You want me to tell you I also said things I didn’t mean, that I don’t love you

Teddy: but I’m not going to

Nancy: I just want to talk to you, whatever the truth is

Nancy: that wasn’t the part that hurt me the most, though, for the record

Teddy: I’m far too busy crying, naturally

Nancy: That was mean, like actual bitchery, to throw that back at you

Nancy: you already left and I hadn’t forgiven you for that and then you said you loved me just to take it back and I don’t know

Nancy: you said I can’t handle it, you were right 

Teddy: It hasn’t escaped my notice you’re a bitch, awkward if it was supposed to

Nancy: Nope, you definitely called me one then too

Teddy: For the record, I didn’t take it back, I don’t

Nancy: You wished you weren’t

Nancy: which if I was being gracious I would say is fair but it isn’t and I’m not 

Teddy: You wished for anyone but me first

Nancy: No one else would love me, challenge me, that’s what I meant

Teddy: Everyone would love you, you can’t stand the thought

Nancy: Other people have said it before, but they either didn’t mean it or didn’t know me enough to have it be an informed opinion

Teddy: Did he?

Nancy: God, no

Nancy: he was famously in love with [whatever his fiancee’s actual name is] for the majority of that ‘relationship’ so, what’s the point in bullshitting

Teddy: His parents have famously never said it, to him, his siblings or each other

Nancy: It shows

Teddy: & yet, a frightful number of children, considering

Nancy: They take their duty to keep numbers up seriously

Nancy: or have incredible sexual chemistry, either or

Teddy: Both, possibly

Nancy: Pretending to be Scottish makes slightly more sense as a roleplay

Teddy: I do hope they at least attempt the accents in the bedroom

Nancy: I’d pay to see it

Teddy: Wouldn’t we all

Nancy: And I didn’t wear your mother’s necklace to the crack den, nor sell it, another one for the record

Teddy: You wouldn’t be contemplating taking the bus if you’d sold it, nor escaping with it in the former

Nancy: True

Nancy: has she not checked the safe since you gave it to me?

Teddy: They filed a claim with their insurance the day after the party

Nancy: But it’s one of a kind, before the added sentimentality 

Teddy: A truly tragic loss, in every sense

Nancy: What have you been doing, since the party?

Teddy: Yours or mine?

Nancy: We can try that, filling in those gaps

Nancy: failing that, from my party works just fine

Teddy: Since yours, losing Ivo some more money he’s nonetheless still failed to realise is missing

Nancy: Must mean his habits are out of control again, big shocker

Nancy: I didn’t know you knew how to do your future job though, smarty pants

Teddy: It isn’t difficult, G & Daddy dearest pretend to make themselves feel clever & super important

Nancy: That’s all anyone does in this town for work, I’m pretty sure

Nancy: my friends try to tell me what they do, like their jobs don’t all sound boring and identical no matter what

Teddy: & like you’d be interested anyway 🥱

Teddy: no one has anything even vaguely worthwhile to talk about, if not careers, it’s children or spouses & it’s becoming a problem

Teddy: at this rate, I’ll have to spend time with people my own age

Nancy: At least everyone your age will have Uni drama

Nancy: my friends remained somewhat interesting in those days

Nancy: I could tell you every weird thing Ivo did for you to potentially use against him, if you like

Teddy: You’re barely out of Uni, your friends should be involved in drama, or at least not be this level of bores

Nancy: I have tried telling them

Nancy: I’ll catch back up when they all break up or start cheating on each other, we’re just in a honeymoon phase

Teddy: Of course

Nancy: I hope you get bored enough to want to talk to me again

Nancy: no offence

Teddy: All taken, I hate being

Nancy: Well I hate this

Teddy: It’s your fault, don’t come to me to fix it

Nancy: No one else can

Teddy: You could try

Nancy: What do you think I was doing in [whatever part of London you had to get yourself to and are now like omg the horror]?

Teddy: The opposite of talking to me

Nancy: You didn’t want to talk

Nancy: you told me goodbye multiple times

Teddy: You threw every present back in my face

Nancy: I didn’t throw anything, that was you

Nancy: and we’ve been over this, I thought you were laughing at me for wanting to be with you

Teddy: You intended to return them all to me as though they were never given

Nancy: I said that but did I, no

Teddy: Well no, but only because you were in [the shady part of London] apparently penniless 

Nancy: I’m not giving them back

Nancy: even if you demanded it, I don’t want to

Teddy: They’re yours to do what you want with

Nancy: They’re the nicest presents I’ve ever been given

Nancy: not just accounting for quality

Teddy: It’s a new day & the start of your birthday month, you should be due another

Nancy: Of course, I’m sure everyone got the memo

Teddy: I don’t know what to get you now

Nancy: You got me this car ride home

Nancy: and cash so I don’t have to beg my parents for any

Teddy: Those don’t count, silly

Nancy: Yeah they do

Nancy: if you really hated me, you’d have left me to get stabbed to death

Teddy: I told you I’ve got 0 interest in hating you, Nance

Nancy: Good

Nancy: you can follow me back then

Teddy: When the car picks you up

Nancy: The app says [however long this car still is away]

Nancy: I’ll save all my best thoughts and pics until then

Teddy: Going to [where she did] wasn’t your best idea

Nancy: I was very upset, in my defence 

Nancy: I needed sedating

Teddy: As was I, so go ahead & post any pics that’ll devastate me further before I follow back, hopefully they’ll get lost among [someone we’re shading for posting constantly]’s

Nancy: I wasn’t sucking dick for drugs

Nancy: I’d not be broke if that were the plan

Nancy: and I look like an actual meth head so it’s throwbacks or nothing

Teddy: Post a throwback to [one of their happier times, giving the most recent that’s possible before tonight for full take me back to then vibes]

Nancy: [do that but then just be sending him pictures you have of y’all that you’ve kept on your phone like remember when]

Teddy: [follow her back so you can interact with this either on her story or feed even though you said you’d wait, we all know you cannot, join in too by sending her pics you’ve kept which obvs include ones she didn’t know you’d taken where she looks adorable]

Nancy: You made me look kind of pretty

Teddy: You’re beautiful, nothing to do with me

Nancy: Is too

Nancy: [send him more pictures that are fully giving couple hence they never saw the light of day]

Teddy: [send her the coupleyest ones you have too, and then the sauciest ones you have, just a not at all casual escalation as we’re going through]

Nancy: Yeah, that’s all you 

Nancy: I’m not trying to see myself naked unless I can see you too

Teddy: If you really loved me you’d always be naked

Nancy: but you love buying me clothes

Teddy: But you look better out of them

Nancy: Okay

Nancy: but I’m keeping on the jewellery 

Teddy: Please do

Nancy: I missed you

Nancy: even when I was really, really off my face

Teddy: What did you take, who did you fuck & how did it feel? 

Teddy: tell me everything

Nancy: [the laundry list of drugs and their effects but lbr if sex occurred it’s giving you didn’t consent/don’t remember so you can’t say anything there, like are you a rich enough gal/good enough customer they didn’t risk it or did they take their opportunity, big yikes lmao]

Teddy: Sounds fantastic

Nancy: I’ll bring you back your own

Teddy: You’re going home

Nancy: You can get it later, if you’re so insistent I’m going home

Teddy: I can get my own later, once I settle up your tab

Nancy: Don’t you want to see me?

Teddy: You broke my heart & you aren’t forgiven

Nancy: How are you ever going to forgive me if you won’t see me

Teddy: How am I supposed to look at you after you made such a fool of me?

Nancy: I haven’t though, no one knows anything

Nancy: it was just us and you did it right back

Teddy: I was disgustingly vulnerable, you weren’t

Teddy: I don’t know anything, Nancy

Nancy: What do you mean, yes I was

Nancy: I was basically weeping about the cake in front of everyone

Teddy: Which doesn’t make us equal at all

Nancy: I’ve said I love you loads more than you have

Nancy: I’m trying, but you just see your own efforts 

Teddy: You were thrilled about my efforts, including the cake

Teddy: I wasn’t about my cock not working for [however long]

Nancy: I’M not discounting YOURS

Nancy: I didn’t put a hex on you

Nancy: but I know, how shit that must’ve been

Teddy: & I haven’t discounted how Ivo treated you, he’s lost a fortune tonight

Nancy: Is it making you feel better?

Nancy: he’d only waste it making a fool of himself with Cara

Teddy: Not really, but it wasn’t meant to, I did it for you

Nancy: I know

Nancy: I don’t know how to thank you when you do nice things for me all the time, it’d become the only word in my vocabulary and I’m actually not that horrifically disabled

Teddy: You’re actually very clever, I know

Nancy: Well, no need to get carried away

Nancy: I couldn’t be in Uni, or do whatever hot boy job it is you do

Teddy: You absolutely could, but you’re so intelligent you’ve chosen not to

Nancy: You are being forced, on both counts

Nancy: which is so unfair

Teddy: Yes, woe’s me

Teddy: if only I were horrifically disabled

Nancy: Pretending at Uni would be easy

Nancy: they’d have to give you help

Teddy: Will you show me how to extend all my deadlines?

Nancy: Of course

Nancy: if we’re spending Christmas together, I’m not watching you write essays

Teddy: If I last until Christmas, I’ve got limited term time before they realise my assignments aren’t the same as my brother’s because we share an identical passion for [the course]

Nancy: That’s genius

Nancy: and honestly, as if it matters to any of your lecturers who’s doing the work, they’re just doing theirs ticking boxes

Teddy: Nevertheless, I want to be kicked out when the timing’s right, not on some lecturer’s say so who, btw, desperately needs to get a life

Teddy: agree to help me & I’ll agree to see you

Nancy: Of course I’ll help you

Teddy: Okay, direct the car here

Nancy: If you change your mind this time, I’m coming in anyway, fair warning

Teddy: I’ve already been warned you look like you’ve developed a crack habit

Nancy: You’ll let me borrow your shower won’t you

Teddy: Perhaps I’ll give you a bath, if you’re good

Nancy: You loved the bath at my old place

Teddy: 🥺 the memories

Teddy: I should’ve bought it, forced them to rip it out & deliver it here

Nancy: You’ll have to rent the place out, there’s been no one permanent since [some rock star rented it after you]

Nancy: at least our first time was against your house, that’s going nowhere

Teddy: The renovations weren’t brick-by-brick extensive, no

Teddy: you just can’t manufacture the chaos unless you commit to fully doing everything yourself

Nancy: People are always let downs, fact

Teddy: But I’ll definitely rent the old place whenever you need a break from your unbearable cousin, say the word & it’s yours again

Nancy: Oh God, her

Nancy: I better tell her I haven’t died

Teddy: No don’t, let her think you have

Teddy: she was certainly killing me earlier

Nancy: You’ve been talking to her?

Teddy: Imagine

Teddy: I mean WAY earlier, before I left

Nancy: You scared me

Nancy: but you’re right, she can keep waiting

Teddy: She deserves to suffer & if not on your birthday, when? It’s the most fitting date

Nancy: You won’t have to suffer hers

Nancy: it was so hellish it felt like a month

Teddy: I’d simply have to admit defeat & abandon the plan if destroying her entire life took a year, true

Nancy: You’re far too hot, even she will have to get over herself to get under you

Teddy: 9 months from start to finish, obviously, that’s the clear winner, even though I could propose & organise a wedding in far less

Nancy: Definitely 

Nancy: even though she’ll milk EVERY second and I’ll wanna die

Teddy: She’ll want her bridal shower in [somewhere we’re dragging to filth]

Nancy: and the hen in [giving the trashiest destination known to man like HELP ME]

Teddy: I dread to think what her honeymoon suggestions will be

Teddy: [I imagine he’s throwing out places rn that aren’t even that trashy cos he’s rich af and doesn’t know the half of it so she can be like oh no no, here and here sis]

Nancy: Try [really trashy places, thanks normal fam and background for the information, even if we’ve not let it humble us at all in any meaningful way lmao]

Teddy: Somewhere I refuse to locate on a map never mind willingly travel to, shocker

Nancy: Thank GOD I will never let it get that far

Nancy: the locals would see you coming a mile away

Teddy: An immediate divorce would be mortifying but 0 tops jilted at the altar

Nancy: It’s giving only happens in the movies in a way she could not predict

Teddy: I’d hate for someone other than you to be my first wife

Nancy: I’d hate it more

Teddy: Would you cry?

Nancy: I’d do much worse things than cry

Nancy: but yeah, I don’t see how I wouldn’t

Teddy: It would essentially be my funeral, I demand some tears

Teddy: short of you throwing yourself at my coffin, or in this instance, at my feet

Nancy: It could be your funeral

Nancy: I’ll happily share the day for the romance of it all

Teddy: You’re so hot when you’re issuing death threats

Nancy: 🥰 don’t think I don’t mean it

Teddy: I think you’re very capable of it, that’s the turn-on

Teddy: no one enjoys an idle threat

Nancy: So true

Nancy: I love your brain

Teddy: Ours complement each other, in more than those words could hope to express

Nancy: I feel it too

Nancy: what you said, about being alike and feeling alone when you’re not there

Teddy: You recognise parts of me no one else wants to look closely at

Nancy: It didn’t feel like it could be real, that you could be exactly how you are

Nancy: even in my family, I feel like an alien, or the only human, either way, alone and wrong

Teddy: Referring to us both as orphans was incredibly accurate

Nancy: Oliver would be a great codename for you, if I hadn’t dated several Ollies and Ols 🙄

Teddy: [tell her how many Ollie’s/variations of there currently are on your Rugby team because it’s giving a Rugby boy name but idek how many players there are so don’t @ me]

Nancy: Makes for a shit couple’s costume, truly, never beating the allegations

Nancy: Pinky promise I haven’t slept with any of them yet

Teddy: The yet keeps things believable

Nancy: You’ve not asked for things to be kept between us

Nancy: and now I’m back, you’ll be able to fuck whoever you want again

Teddy: [tell her whether you’ve slept with any of them or not/how far you’ve gone with who because will always give her kiss and tell deets of whatever has or hasn’t happened]

Nancy: And you said I’d oversold it

Teddy: I said what I said, yes

Nancy: Perhaps

Nancy: I could make it as good as I said though, I maintain that

Teddy: I don’t doubt your capabilities, I maintain that

Nancy: When is your next class?

Teddy: [whenever it is cos I can’t remember if King’s has a half term in october like school and I’m deffo not about to go and try and look when it isn’t that important]

Nancy: Just wondering how long I can keep you to myself

Teddy: As long as you like

Nancy: Tempting

Teddy: They don’t give out praise or prizes which would tempt me to attend, you’re lacking competition

Nancy: I won’t get an ego about it, no

Nancy: your competition is having to go home and tell Grace where I’ve been so likewise

Teddy: You can have your ego when it’s time for me to go home to Grace & tell her what she wants to hear

Nancy: Don’t say home to her, I’ll throw up everywhere in this car

Teddy: Perhaps you should, cleanse yourself before you come home to me

Nancy: You’d be paying for it

Teddy: [send her the cost of it like okay sure, as if she’s gonna now throw up on your command, essentially]

Nancy: Is there anything that freaks you out, like a hard line you won’t cross?

Teddy: As previously stated I didn’t take my mother as a lover in your absence

Teddy: but otherwise, no, I don’t think so

Nancy: I assumed we could take the illegal stuff off the list but now I’m concerned 

Teddy: Your family has form for crossing that particular line, I thought it best to make sure I highlighted it

Nancy: Ha ha

Nancy: You’re very original 

Teddy: My family has form of their own, for plenty of things, I’m not accusing you

Nancy: No one in my family likes me that much, we know, it’s fine

Teddy: Their appalling taste therefore speaks for itself

Nancy: The nicest thing you’ve ever said to me

Teddy: It goes without saying, if we were related, I’d commit incest at once

Nancy: 😅 You’re an idiot

Nancy: but I’d cross that line with you too

Teddy: There isn’t a single one I’d hesitate to with or for you

Nancy: I don’t even want to use any of it against you

Nancy: it’s truly disgusting

Teddy: Who are we?

Teddy: I cried, genuinely, real tears, it was horrific

Nancy: I feel awful

Nancy: but also like I’m lit up inside, sorry, you care though

Nancy: about me

Teddy: Losing you changed me

Nancy: I want you to keep me

Teddy: I’d sooner my trust fund was taken away than you were

Nancy: I won’t make you keep me to that level 

Nancy: I barely need anything, really

Teddy: I disagree, you need everything your heart desires

Nancy: You

Nancy: you do and I need you

Teddy: You need to take [one of these drugs we’re playfully blaming for her being in love with us rn lol] more often

Nancy: If you want meth head, I’ll lean into it, sure

Teddy: I want you

Nancy: I’m on my way to you

Teddy: I’m waiting, patience was never promised

Nancy: Patience is boring

Nancy: stoic isn’t my type

Teddy: It’s a huge relief to know I can leave you in my father’s company every Sunday & you aren’t going to be seduced

Nancy: I’ll be far too busy entertaining myself with the others if your descriptions match the reality

Nancy: though it’s the biggest shame Chlo will no longer be there too

Teddy: We’ll drink a toast to her

Teddy: [whatever her fave drink is, whether it is or not or he’s just being shady haha]

Nancy: Make it several

Teddy: The least we can do as she’s bound to only drink laxatives these days, after having yet more unfortunate daughters

Nancy: Physically unable to produce a son

Teddy: & unable to locate a surgeon who’ll fix the damage, to give her a hope in hell of keeping a man physically interested 💔

Nancy: Have you seen him?

Nancy: They are… well suited

Teddy: More importantly, darling, have you heard his band play?

Nancy: NO

Teddy: You MUST

Teddy: live is an especially unbeatable experience

Teddy: [and give her deets of his next ‘gig’ because of course you go and troll and wind Chlo up whenever you can haha]

Nancy: Oh my GOD

Nancy: That’s so incredibly lame

Nancy: I need to see what she wears to these shows immediately

Teddy: [send her your fave pics from the ones you’ve been to which is lowkey all of them lol lol]

Nancy: I’m so embarrassed for her

Nancy: How rich is he that this is the new love of her life?

Teddy: [give her the tea on who this man’s parents are etc in the way rich people love to do because ofc you know]

Nancy: Naturally she’d never commit and date an actual starving artist

Nancy: oh well, he can fund his wife and daughters’ surgeries in the not-so distant future at least

Teddy: 0 risk of future incest if their daughters were being raised with a child of mine

Nancy: Aw, it’d be [however old said child that thankfully does not exist would be by now, nearly 2 at most]

Teddy: [not you finding a pic of you at the same age like hopefully looking like this and not Chlo]

Nancy: Fucking hell

Nancy: actual 👼

Teddy: Which answers your earlier question, if I wanted a baby, that’d be why

Nancy: I can’t even blame you for being a narcissist 

Nancy: if I was her, I’d have gone through with it

Teddy: Thankfully you’re neither her nor a narcissist, or who knows how many children I’d have by this point

Nancy: You’re so welcome, darling

Teddy: & you’re as welcome to be the mother to them all, should you ever change your mind

Nancy: Don’t say that when I can’t stop looking at your baby photo

Teddy: [send her your literal newborn baby photo as if that’ll put her off because newborn babies are gross]

Nancy: You forget how bad I looked

Nancy: another downside of being a twin

Teddy: You should’ve eaten him, were I a twin, I would’ve

Nancy: I don’t doubt it

Nancy: a mistake I just have to live with, sadly

Teddy: You poor thing 🥺

Nancy: You have no idea, he’s the worst brother in the world, I fear

Teddy: Who do you wish he was?

Nancy: I don’t even know now

Teddy: It’s just as well we have each other & can abandon our disappointing siblings

Nancy: Exactly, it’s far too late to imagine different, let alone want it when I have you now

Teddy: I’ll be everything your family isn’t

Nancy: You are

Nancy: I’ll do what it takes to be with you, now I know

Teddy: Then I’m not mad at you anymore

Nancy: Am I forgiven?

Teddy: When you’re finally here, I can’t help but sulk slightly until you are

Nancy: You do pout so prettily

Teddy: [send her that content ofc]

Nancy: [give him an updated countdown that’s giving nearly there in return]

Teddy: [send her some money how he always do when he wants the driver to hurry up lol]

Nancy: Start running my bath please

Teddy: Start taking off your clothes

Nancy: [send a pic of your shoes being off like okay, I have]

Teddy: Please

Nancy: [send another where you’ve done the thing of taking your bra off under your clothes like tada, as you asked nicely]

Teddy: [smirky content instead of pouty content like oh you]

Nancy: You’re going to have to close your eyes when I get there though, let me get in the water before you look at me

Teddy: Okay, I’ll carry you with my eyes closed

Nancy: You will not

Nancy: I’m gross enough without breaking anything too

Teddy: I will not let you walk, you’ve had such an awfully long night

Nancy: Alright

Nancy: I’ll let you look after me, be good

Teddy: I know you just adored whenever your father carried you from cars

Nancy: Who doesn’t like being treated like a princess?

Teddy: You’re still dressed the part

Nancy: Have you watched Cat on a Hot Tin Roof yet?

Nancy: I want to watch it with you

Teddy: I had to arrive for the party at [whatever o clock he’s saying is ridiculously early because for them it is], when would I have time?

Nancy: Since last night, if you were really missing me like you say

Teddy: You would’ve changed the theme if I had

Nancy: No, the comparison was too apt

Teddy: Fine, we’ll watch it

Nancy: 🥺 don’t ‘fine’ me like a real dad

Teddy: But those old films are usually SO long

Nancy: It’s under 2 hours and no one is saying you are only allowed to watch the film and nothing else

Teddy: Okay, baby

Nancy: Don’t you think he’s hot

Teddy: I wouldn’t dress up as someone ugly

Nancy: Your eyes might be bluer, I think

Teddy: Of course they are & it’s the reason you think I’m hot

Nancy: A reason

Teddy: [give her an eye comparison of her own to something boujee only you would, like when you compared her body to an expensive car that time]

Nancy: Are you ready to prove how romantic you are?

Nancy: [and show up, it’s been long enough, the casual state you are in cannot be overstated honestly]

Teddy: [go and carry her in like you said you would, you know this car’s ETA full well you sent it and I’m sure you’ve been impatiently watching and waiting for it cos I imagine your mum is there but comatose at this o clock so you might as well be home alone with no other distractions cos she’s giving nothing lol, obvs do your extra af cheek kisses hello when you lift her out of this car, that goes without saying, you simply must, no fucks given to the state she is in, I also imagine that he’s shamelessly taking her clothes off on route from this car to his door because lbr it has pulled up right near the house and so you have, at max, some steps to walk up or whatever and he has every intention of her being naked as soon as she’s inside, again with no fucks given]

Nancy: [if anyone is not gonna give a fuck as to who is or isn’t here, it is this bitch, when even though you do genuinely feel disgusting in the way only shame can make you feel, you have to cling to him like he’s about to be snatched from you any moment because CANNOT lose you ever again thank you, being very unhelpful in getting undressed with your clingy nature but definitely not stopping him either, making little noises every time you become a little more exposed ‘til you fully are/are in his house again and you can do a quiet !! gasp about both facts]

Teddy: [it’s fine she’s baby and that’s what her unhelpfulness is giving so he’s here for it, hence not putting his thumb in her mouth again until after she’s done that gasp cos don’t want her to shut up either it’s just a comforting gesture (in the same way his shh responses were after every little noise) while he carries her to her fave bathtub wherever that may be in this house cos no fucks given (for a third time lol) if it’s the furthest possible away from his or literally in the ensuite that his mum is sleeping next door to because he has the run of this entire house always and all he cares about is this being the biggest and boujee-est tub, lay her in it and lounge like a cat in the (no doubt impractical for a bathroom) chair/literal recliner you’ve positioned next to it so y’all can handhold while she takes a sec to enjoy this warm water and the ambiance he has created with mood lighting and mood music etc, I vote that there’s also jets because her body has been put through it by their hookup earlier never mind all the shenanigans she’s been up to since then, so it’s like a massage and a bath all rolled into one here]

Nancy: [here having a sneaky look around at any changes there may have been to this gaff in the time elapsed since y’all were together, the only way to stop yourself from launching a full makeout at him when you really do want to sort yourself out before then, being the most baby about sucking his thumb and nuzzling against his hand, grasping it with your own tightly; I imagine the bathrooms are much of a muchness but your parents ensuite might just top yours in some way so we can say you’re in there using his mum’s luxury facilities like it’s nothing lol, immediately going under in this water like the cliche to deal with how !! you are about this absolute whiplash happening here, not quite girl screaming underwater but you know, emerge again to smile at him and lean your chin on the side of the bath]

Teddy: [we’ve simply gotta do it because it’s the most unhinged that his mum is sleeping a medicated sleep right there and he’d be the most into that as the location for having her back, adding to the !! there already is because she realistically isn’t gonna hear you/come in when she’s however many sleeping pills deep but she COULD, it’s only a tiny smidge of risk, and there’s the immaculate vibes, cup her face with your free hand because didn’t even free her of that handhold when she was submerged, obvs, never will, and stroke the wet hair off it as you return this smile]

Nancy: [the way you didn’t even mention it as y’all walked past her, like I know you know what his mum is like but just really showing how y’all are that you aren’t even noticing or making any effort to be super quiet in the slightest, what if she needed a pee, you don’t know hun but here you are like lady muck in her bathtub, you love to see it lmao ‘I’m so happy you’ve forgiven me’ and you can tell we sincerely mean it because not being the slightest bit flippant rn, closing your eyes whilst he strokes your head like that]

Teddy: [mhmm, it really sums up exactly who they are, well done us, give her a nod with the most sincerest heart eyes of all time before her eyes close because you can tell she means it and you feel the same way, riffling through his mother’s products with the exact same chaotic energy that he attacked her dressing table on his bday until he finds some kind of expensive af hair treatment mask or something of the sort and starts putting it on for this gal, because one thing about Amanda, she has lovely hair so you can tell his mum has the good shit]

Nancy: [opening your eyes when he’s clattering around to do this otherwise you’ll be like hello??? but having them immediately roll closed again when he starts massaging your scalp like that because everything about this is so nice and you can’t deal, copying the way he’s touching you in your hair on your body is a v suggestive manner for his benefit, not fully touching yourself like that but it’s not innocent that’s for sure]

Teddy: [we love to see it, fully giving long af head massage with how extra he’s being about this, Grace would DIE lol because we all know he’ll also find some kind of face mask next when he isn’t distracted having the most fun here both doing this for her and enjoying all of her reactions to it, no hesitation at all therefore in repositioning these bath jets so they hit her body in as suggestive of a way, getting her boobs and foof shamelessly once he’s ‘innocently’ just washing his hands off in the water and then beginning to apply this face mask like he didn’t just initiate that haha]

Nancy: [Grace would NEVER let you see her without her weave, let alone risk you snatching it off, nay nay but she’d be living for this self-care behaviour, go off king, LOOKING at him once he’s in your grill and applying this face mask because we all know what you just did and we’re so about it, even if we continue the innocent act like it’s not making our body move closer to these jets in some type of way ‘I feel so much better’]

Teddy: [LOOKING back because it isn’t casual and the way he’s touching her face with just slightly more pressure than is necessary to apply that facemask is his personal giveaway, as is the fact he’s fully on the edge of his seat to be as close to her as he can without getting up yet, shifting in it every time her body moves in response to the jets, as involuntarily ‘you deserve to’ because she is forgiven, for now at least lol lol]

Nancy: [wincing purely to remind him of how he had you pressed up against your sink earlier not because it truly hurts in any real way, making a sound with it as if it does but is actually a reaction to how these jets are hitting and he will know it ‘I don’t mind if you want to get in’ like you do too]

Teddy: [nevertheless, being SO gentle for the remainder of this facemask application like omg I’m so sorry even though he is not, it’s purely because the softness will get to you both even more and that’s what you want, likewise gently pushing her back so she’s lying again to let both of these beauty products have the time they need, but also and as importantly to position her so the jets are hitting even more, turning them up higher too, WATCHING her as they really hit now, positioning himself on his knees by this bath so he can pick up one of her feet and start going to town on massaging it with an expression like excuse you I’m not done pampering you yet but we all know he wants her to want him to get in more first before he does]

Nancy: [it truly short-circuits our brain because not getting or doing this with anyone to this full extent and it truly kills you to try and deal remotely, the way you’re breathing like he absolutely slammed you back into this tub is wild, biting your lip turning into really chewing it when he turns these jets up higher, swearing into a high pitched moan that’s truly a whine at this point, threatening to kick him in the face from the sheer level of !! you’re already at when he starts giving you your foot massage]

Teddy: [doing SUCH dramatic breathing of his own as if she did kick him in the face and it’s a wince because LIVING for all of this and out here doing the most to try and make her scream the place down purely from the jets and this foot massage alone, isn’t even a foot pervert like that bf of Trace’s but you better believe he’ll be putting her big toe in his mouth to recreate when she was sucking his thumb, no regrets]

Nancy: [shaking your head like I can’t believe you’ve done this but you’re beyond turned on and it’s obvious from how you’re not taking your eyes off him for a second, moving harder and thus pushing your foot into his mouth more as a result, doing a little hot lol like whoops but you are likewise not sorry]

Teddy: [the EYE CONTACT is truly insane rn, has either of them blinked, no they have not, and it’s that which makes him make his first lil noise which turns into more of one ofc when he’s deep throating her toe almost from that movement, biting it how he always do when he’s mad but he’s clearly the opposite, HOLDING her ankle as dramatically as when he pulled her down the bed during their dryhumpathon all that time ago when he was still an underage boy, indecently licking the arch of her foot, pressing into it like it’s part of the massage]

Nancy: [saying his name, at first like you’re shocked at this behaviour, although you aren’t in any way you just LOVE it, then it’s being said again more pleadingly because he’s killing you slowly for real and you don’t know how long you can continue at this pace, your other foot slipping towards his as a super not subtle way to say MORE]

Teddy: [picking up her other foot because mustn’t neglect that one and there’s only so much of a foot massage you can give with your tongue which is the point he’d reached with the previous one ‘I haven’t forgotten’ like saying his name as a plea was because this foot was being so rudely left out, said with such daddy energy as is ‘I love them both equally’ and once again doing the absolute most massage wise to prove that, nbd]

Nancy: [‘promise?’ so seriously because we’re not talking about our feet right now, like you aren’t allowed to forget anything ever ‘it doesn’t matter how long it’s been’ because we haven’t forgotten a single moment in that time is absolutely the vibe]

Teddy: [‘on my mother’s life’ as his first ref to her being in the next room for all this, with a hot lol cos she is and you’re into it as I said before ‘you’re all that matters’ seriously because he isn’t enjoying life rn at all with uni starting and he clearly enjoyed the time y’all were broken up even less, couldn’t even get it up, god bless ‘time’s irrelevant, other people even more so’ because you both did a lot of hoeing but didn’t care about any of them] 

Nancy: [laughing with him because you are too and seriously, have not tried to be quiet once this entire time like you could be doing less but never ‘I’m sure she’d be thrilled’ like if she was conscious right now and had a clue, gesturing via only moving your body that you want him to come close/get in this damn bath with you ‘it’s you and me’]

Teddy: [‘she’ll be obsessed with you’ like how could she not LOVE you even though we Jemily know he means it in the sense of being a hater realistically if anything but that’ll amuse him as much if not shamelessly more than if they did get on, so once again, he’s the opposite of mad about this, finally ceasing this foot massage onslaught but only to pull her body towards him and come at her with the softest and most expensive flannel known to man because he’s defs been at this long enough that it could be time to take the facemask off, not able to do it as gently as he should be because he’s !! saying her name like he can’t quite believe she’s here despite how long she has been]

Nancy: [making a noise like I bet she will, as if his mum is listening in on this right now and into it when that’s just y’all being feral heathens, on the real though you know what kind of woman his mother is and that she’d not stand you and you obviously don’t care even a little, here acting as if you might pull him into this bath but you’re only going to stroke his face in the same pattern as he is washing this mask off of yours]

Teddy: [in no world are they not going to kiss through this flannel, when it’s fully covering her face at the end to make sure he didn’t miss any, as their first since she got here because it’s a throwback to when they did through the pillow as what I think was their first ever if I recall correctly, it’s poetic cinema and I simply must]

Nancy: [it absolutely was and hence we are DYING, simply having to pull him into us/this bath even though he’s still clothed to whatever degree he was, no fucks given because y’all were making out then like you were trying to break each other and the same energy must be brought whilst you try not to fully suffocate on this flannel rn]

Teddy: [I had to do it to ‘em, it was too good of an opportunity to pass up, no thought at all for the casual flood this giant boy is causing when he’s pulled in because that bath was FULL and likewise none for whatever clothes he’s wearing rn that he forlornly put on after changing out of his costume during the drama hours, the way he’s acting like they’re fully fucking rn because their bodies have not been anywhere near this close since he carried her in and he couldn’t be more turned on and more responsive to the contact, unhinged sounds being made as they are both getting lowkey waterboarded by this flannel because it’s only getting soggier as she’s getting pushed more underwater with these antics]

Nancy: [me like this water will be going under the door onto your carpets and you’re gonna wake up in that drugged haze and be like why are the carpets wet did I piss or has there been a flood lol, soz Amanda but it’s gotta be done, as had pulling him in this tub, there was no way we were leaving without doing it, here truly about to drown because you can’t stop any of it, making out to the point of waterboarding and pulling his weight onto you like you’re not going under this remaining water, girl calm down but you never will]

Teddy: [you can’t tell me this bitch has never drunkenly left a bath running at least once herself so she’ll probably assume when she can have a coherent thought that that’s what happened, catch him THROWING this flannel and 1000% breaking something because of how dramatically he did but obvs not because he cares about either of them drowning but only because like when they threw the pillow aside, he wants to kiss her properly, she’ll still be suffocating because no recovery pause given and she’s still got the weight of his fully clothed wet body on top of her, catch him also MOANING so extra into her mouth like they haven’t kissed for a million years]

Nancy: [when the flinching is for once real but the way you use it as an excuse to fling your arms around his neck and pull into his is unnecessary but entirely necessary, so into how his body feels against these skin tight wet clothes so you’re then running your hands down his shoulders and arms, saying a truly breathless hi into this makeout like you’ve just got here because can never be close enough, running your fingers through his hair and letting your hands rest at the back of his neck so there’s no getting out of this closeness right now]

Teddy: [me like sure as a child of baze you’d have trauma about things getting thrown and broken, let’s have THAT conversation, but not rn cos he’s doing a truly breathless ‘oh hello’ back like mhmm fancy seeing you here, take a moment to likewise play with all the jewellery you can lovingly grab because that’s always important for y’all, also touch a bruise that’s starting to form from y’all’s sink antics because he really did press her face into it and there’s been time enough to start to see that without us needing to say it was !! and thus popping off sooner because I’m not suggesting it was that hardcore however mad he was, hitting her with a ‘darling’ about it though]

Nancy: [my boo says shall we get real on this day lmao and they say no, giggling at him with the full force of your heart eyes because you really do find him attractive in a way that makes you feel ridiculous in the best way, here feeling shy like he didn’t bring you in naked and a HOT MESS, nodding like yes I know, how could you lol but smiling ‘I’ve forgiven you too’]

Teddy: [poking her in the cheek where you get those natural creases when you smile or laugh but obvs just with his wedding ring finger (unaware of it himself probably that’s just subconsciously how much he’s thought about marrying her recently, not deliberately like when he touched her indecently with it) because she’s ADORABLE and he has to ‘you still love me’ not as a question but a statement like I know you do, the fingers of his other hand combing through her hair like its part of the regiment of this hair mask which hasn’t technically been washed off but might lowkey have been during the drowning]

Nancy: [you’re unlikely to notice that girl but jemily see y’all and appreciate the extraness you’re coming at each other with ‘you don’t have to fuck it out of me’ putting your hands between y’all to lightly push him back teasingly because did not appreciate that comment at all thank you but we don’t truly want you to stop or leave ever]

Teddy: [that was mean of me to say tbh, but this boy treating it like a big joke in this moment with his OTT pout at her ‘but I so very desperately want to’ as if this means they aren’t gonna hookup at all, lol imagine]

Nancy: [raising your brows and looking down like you’re thinking about how desperately he wants to and shaking your head like no, not enough but it’s very much giving ‘yet’ as you start what would honestly be a task of helping him out of whatever wet clothes he has on, t-shirt being the first because easiest to go]

Teddy: [a lil scoff like excuse you because couldn’t want her more and that’s SO obvious, pulling her into him to make it even more so as she removes his t-shirt and he shivers v dramatically and also slams his hips into hers, unhelpful for the clothes removal task but he gotta]

Nancy: [the dramatic intake of breath you hold in as you pause, being this close to him before taking the equivalent of a step back because you want to have your hands on him and you want to be able to watch ‘I’m not going to leave you wanting’ gotta have your own sassy dig at him for leaving you and your party, kissing him like he’ll be unable to reply that way lol]

Teddy: [‘you’re going to make me cry’ in reply at first as if don’t be so mean for the distance she put between them but then even more for the unbreakable code that blush wasn’t either when we used it in the car scene when we were writing you OG, cos blatant what he truly means by it the second she touches him ‘your hand’ coming out exactly like when we all remember he said her pussy, cos identical energy, in this moment being gasped/basically quietly moaned out because of how !! he is, kissing her back so hard we’re all hoping she doesn’t break that tooth again]

Nancy: [nodding again like yes I am because we must, unfinished business combined with the fact we’ve been here under these jets means it’s time to give this boy our full attention, moaning against his lips and pushing him so he’s the one lying back and we’re on top of him so we’ve got more control on how we’re doing this ‘you want me to hold your hand…’ because always saying that, taking his hand with your spare and making him touch himself too, not stopping yourself, as if you’re asking do you mean like this?]

Teddy: [the sensory overload of everything she’s doing + also being able to feel these jets on his own skin now he isn’t fully clothed meaning he can only nod back, biting the back of his other hand but it’s more for the hot visual because all the noises are escaping anyway along with his insane panting breathing and the dramatic !! ‘fuck!’ that he can’t help but say more than once]

Nancy: [when you had every intention of sucking his dick like you said you would before but now you are simply too obsessed with WATCHING his every reaction that you decide you’re just going to keep being the most indecent with how you’re touching him, it’s practically a massage with how much you’re focusing on making him feel as good as you possibly can, making comforting noises and kissing the palm of his hand that’s facing you like it’s okay, there there, licking the palm of his hand like he did the sole of your foot]

Teddy: [it’s giving he ain’t even gonna make it to this club haha but are any of us mad about it, absolutely not, there will be time for that later because he isn’t gonna let her leave any time soon, just be here DYING about every second of this, needing to SQUEEZE his eyes shut which he never does so that’s a clear indication she’s doing everything right, saying her name like even more of a plea than she said his earlier like don’t stop EVER]

Nancy: [we love everything about his reaction and it’s only encouraging us to carry on in this vein, finding whatever boujee bath oils are at the side of this tub to use to make him all slick as well as your body, which you’re using to help rub against him ‘it’s okay’ because not going to tell you to shh when that’s not what we want ‘you can let it out’]

Teddy: [when you’ve gotta open your eyes again to watch the absolute carnage she’s causing however good it feels and however much you wanna keep them closed, actually making his eyes sting a lil bit and be almost watering, being so ridiculously loud with all the unhinged sounds he’s making not even because she wants him to but because he can’t help but to be with how gone he is, speaking of, I don’t make the rules and Winola gay says he’s gotta scream ILY like he made her do even though he hasn’t cum yet because he’s v close]

Nancy: [wiping away his ‘tears’ by actually licking them away because why wouldn’t you, there is no holding back occurring here, thank god the medicated coma is real because you’re being loud enough to wake the dead sir and this gal is very much encouraging you to keep going with how this only spurs her on to go harder, saying his name like a reply like yes, what do you want? Like you have NO idea]

Teddy: [he’ll be here trying to demand she says it back but because he’s so !! it won’t be coherent because there’s so many ways he could be like tell me you love me/say it back etc and she’s getting bits and pieces of each possible way his brain could think to as gibberish/words that don’t usually go together, because obvs + calling her princess again + all the unhinged sounds that are continuing, it’s carnage and they love that, it’s karma tbh that this boy sounds horrifically disabled himself haha but his brain is short circuiting that hard rn I fear, you’re gonna have to kiss her SO hard again as if to shut her up from making fun of you because you know that was nonsense but you can’t correct yourself in this moment]

Nancy: [the way I know this absolute scene is going to make you push him inside of you even though you know damn well he’s going to cum instantly but you can’t help it that you’re too affected yourself and that’s simply what you want, obviously saying ILY into his mouth even though y’all are back to suffocating levels here because you’d understand what he was getting at and you gotta to kill him]

Teddy: [the neighbours at least are welcome that he won’t be screaming the place down because they can’t all be in comas and he is gonna DIE so dramatically, instantly just like my boo said, there’s just no way he wouldn’t]

Nancy: [just here shamelessly riding him until you cum too even though he’s beyond dead and can’t deal, you must, soz to your neighbours because absolute nuisances the pair of you, still, collapse on top of him when you’re done]

Teddy: [when he’s recovered enough the first thing he’s gonna do is a hot lol because forever the vibe that they are just like toddlers causing absolute scenes so he’s loving life, there’s some disbelief in it like omg I can’t believe that just happened but not because he cares about the carnage but because of the absolute 180 they have done since he left the party to being even more loved up than when said party started, giving her the most indecent 2 cheek kisses of all time, like when she said hi before, but one missing and landing more in the corner of her mouth because he’s DEAD]

Nancy: [doing your own hot lol which is more like a happy sigh because struggling to get your breath back too much for a full moment here ‘yeah, I’m forgiven’ with a little smug smile because you feel as if you’ve thoroughly earnt it lmao, looking around, as if for the first time because it is since y’all got carried away, at the utter carnage ‘what will you say?’ very heavily giving IF she asks because we know you won’t clean this up but we also know it’s a possibility your mother might just think it was her because the sad life she’s living]

Teddy: [the way he doesn’t even look around at it because he truly does not care, instead just here giving her heart eyes as he once again combs his fingers through her hair, cupping his hands to throw water over a bit of this hair mask which hasn’t washed out during y’alls antics ‘I’ll tell her the truth’ very heavily giving ABOUT YOU and my feelings for you because wants to tell the world atm, we’re in that bubble]

Nancy: [‘you would’ because we absolutely believe you would tell your mum that you fucked someone in her ensuite whilst she was passed out in bed, not sounding horrified or even weirded out by this but like that’s something we admire about you because it is, getting some fresh water run so you can clean some of this bath oil off of his body and yours, just being soft]

Teddy: [‘absolutely’ because he’s 100% that bitch and he regrets nothing nor will he ever, smiling at her because he’s equally proud of himself for being this way lol, likewise be washing her, at first just joining in with the oils removal of it all but then getting into it and fully doing her entire body, back included, like you do in a bath, pampering her again, using a fancy body wash/soap and sponge/loofa/body brush, whatever he can grab which all feels expensive and lovely, going all in on raiding his mother’s supplies which he scattered everywhere the first time]

Nancy: [smiling back at him and shaking your head like oh you because he’s such a card ‘difference is my mother would actually kill me’ because no chance of you getting away with behaviour that blatant with your fam without getting a smackdown; just here letting him absolutely love upon you, your only contribution being to wash his hair for him because you want to be up in there and shamelessly get to be heart eyes at him]

Teddy: [‘and your father would kill me’ because true but he’s saying it amused because he loves to shit stir we all remember when Theo punched him, don’t mind this boy being such a happy cat about this hair wash, closed eyes because it feels nice and happy sighs and letting it turn him on again already and all, the way they are so cuddled up lying in this bath because he is a toll boy and it’s your mother’s not yours even if it is the boujee-est, still an en-suite in a townhouse so it can’t be insanely big]

Nancy: [‘you wish’ because we know you and your mischievous ways lol ‘he doesn’t care about me’ doing a dramatic pout and cuddling into him more, silently saying but you do with your body language, pouring the water over his head like he’s a baby, kissing his forehead when you’re done]

Teddy: [‘you don’t need him to, I do’ so dismissive of her actual dad with his tone like ugh bye flop ‘I’ll treat you better than he ever has, or even could’ like a promise, doing the pinky thing with it because she said that earlier]

Nancy: [whispering ‘daddy’ in his ear in an OTT saucy manner because he’s already turned on and you can tease him a little, nibbling his ear again whilst you’re here]

Teddy: [a nod that she’ll feel as she’s nibbling his ear because yes I am lol ‘you can’t be spoilt/spoiled (because idk which one it is) hard enough’ in the same OTT saucy manner because it’s just another way to say ruin and you’ve also added hard/harder into it there too so, we love to keep giving princess vibes, TOUCH all the jewellery again, pulling her body into yours more than it already is as you do]

Nancy: [‘do I deserve it?’ sincerely given that y’all are just messing about because you don’t feel like it but you would like to because you want it nevertheless, sitting up properly instead of lounging all over him so he can really get a look at all this jewellery he has bought/given you]

Teddy: [‘you can be royal every day’ because we all remember when she said to him that it can be his bday every day including this boy, as sincerely, as if there was any doubt here and now that he doesn’t just mean for her bday month but forever and always]

Nancy: [kissing him, slower and softer than you have been but with ALL the feeling right now, hugging him to you and pressing your body into his because need to be as close as is physically possible ‘I need this’ because can’t overstate how you have missed him]

Teddy: [shamelessly getting even more turned on by the softness and the feelings and letting her feel that as he does a v quiet noise into her mouth for the absolute contrast of not that long ago ‘whatever you need, it’s yours, I won’t leave you wanting from this day forward’ we all see you phrasing that last part like vows are, not subtle at all lol lol]

Nancy: [she is likewise and doing adorable but kind of feral for how little and soft they are noises about it, being very baby and very !! in a quiet way ‘you know what I want’]

Teddy: [we love to see it, the girlies have really made up and are loved up af, hence he’s simply gotta touch her with only his ring finger again rn immediately, being as slow and soft but still !! about it as her kiss was]

Nancy: [hiding in his neck when you look and realise what he’s doing right now, giving him a nippy lil lovebite about it because you can’t deal twofold now]

Teddy: [‘when are we getting married?’ fully said so casually like it’s any other kind of everyday question and not that one, and like he’s not continuing to do what he’s doing in such a deliberate manner]

Nancy: [‘you don’t want to be boring like everyone else’ as something you struggle to say but do because you did say everyone is doing this and kids earlier and it’s true]

Teddy: [shaking his head because true ‘you want me to be bored by your cousin’ because gotta be the flop who wants to do it when her, doing a lil pout but purely to do it and not because he’s actually anything but down to clown as far as this plan goes]

Nancy: [‘if you want a wedding where everyone knows, yeah’ doing a little shrug because saying you could be married and still do this plan, though you could not get as far as the altar unless you wanted to nearly commit bigamy but we’re sick of the plan idea right now because we’re not nearly stable enough with you to be thinking about it tbh]

Teddy: [‘you know what I want’ to echo her words from a sec ago and also because we all do, all he wants is her rn, using his pinky finger to touch her too now like we’re promising again]

Nancy: [LOOKING into his eyes, difficult as it currently is and doing a BIG breath out, nodding like okay ‘stop thinking about her’ like not right now thank you]

Teddy: [‘I’ve never once thought about her’ because true, literally even when he was talking to her, could not care less and did not register a thing lol ‘just you’ because his motivation for doing this is entirely Nancy centric]

Nancy: [‘stop talking’ and kissing him so he has to but this is said with a smile and we’re still kissing you softly, not a literal stfu lmao]

Teddy: [kissing in her a full cliche movie star manner including the dip so she’s lowkey hanging out over this bath for a moment in a way that’s also giving a nod to the balcony antics, being peak romance but in his own chaotic way]

Nancy: [live your life gals, having a lovely time and we can probably leave y’all having it for the time being tbh]

Teddy: [we know the vibes, whether they ever get out of this bath or not haha, I envy y’all watching the film cos I wanna now if only to hear how bad Liz’s accent is]

[drifterjo]

Te o Toriatte

Chapters IX, X, XI, XII & XIII

IX.

“I don’t like it!” Jet’s voice boomed liked thunder. Faye was watching us from a distance. One could be led to believe she was refraining from meddling in big boys’ talk, but the actual chance of that ever happening was close to none. She was just waiting on a chance to say her piece.

“What’s not to like?” I said. “Let’s call it a Christmas assignment. How many of those have we had in recent years?”

“We are not detectives, Spike!” Jet retorted. “We’re bounty hunters.  There’s a difference, you know?”

“Okay, there’s investigative work involved, I’ll grant you that! But it’s not so different from our usual routine.”

Jet didn’t answer back. I took the chance and delivered what I hoped would be the fatal blow to this sterile argument.

“I haven’t told you, guys, about the money yet…”

Faye was suddenly next to me, her voice smooth as silk.

“Are we talking good money here?”

I smiled, “You have no idea, my dear!”

Jet was unable to conceal his eagerness, “How much?”

There it was - hook, line and sinker, paraphrasing a ubiquitous fishing idiom from the olden days. I leaned backwards on the sofa and lit up a smoke.

“Well…?” Jet said. His impatience was music to my ears.

“Ten mil, my sweets!”

Faye gasped, “Ten million woolongs?!?”

Jet said, “Is this guy for real, Spike?”

“Of course he’s for real! I wouldn’t be telling you about him if I thought he was a fake.”

Jet was still skeptical, “I don’t know. It sounds too good to be true. Do you trust him, Spike?”

I puffed on my cigarette. “I do.”

“Why? You didn’t even know who he was four hours ago!”

I reached my coat’s inner pocket and took out a thick wad of notes.

“This is an advance: a million woolong,” I said smirking. “How’s that for trust?”

Jet’s eyes shone. “Tell us about the assignment.”

So I did.

X.

Damien Hurst is a businessman. He is the owner of an ample number of mines scattered across several planets and moons. From those mines, his company - Hurst Inc. - extracts precious minerals and gemstones, which he sells all over the solar system, controlling the manufacturing process from extraction to sale.

Mr. Hurst started his business from scratch, not that long ago. His origin was very humble. His family didn’t have a high social status or that much money, but he got his education and learned. He was enterprising, willing to take bold risks. Eventually he got lucky. His riches grew quickly.

In a couple of years he became a stellionaire. Be that as it may, he hasn’t forsaken his roots. Early on in his career he made a point of not mingling with the so-called ‘upper strata’ of our solar system. Kept his profile low. Along the way he fell in love. He met the woman of his dreams in Io, one of the moons of Jupiter, while attending a galactic conference on high-priced metals. Her maiden name is Sonya Merikh. She was with the staff welcoming the conference attendees. Even though Sonya’s much younger than he is, Damien is devoted to her heart and soul. They got married recently. 

XI.

As soon as that last sentence was out of my mouth, Jet reacted.

“I thought you said the guy was alone at the casino!”

“He was!”

“Why wasn’t Mrs. Hurst with him?” Faye had a mischievous little smile on her lips.

“How should I know? The guy was alone, okay? Said he felt lonely.”

“Lonely, uh?” Jet said. “Didn’t you say he was in love?”

Jet’s irony wasn’t lost on me. Damien being alone at the casino on Christmas Day was a tad peculiar for a man in love.

“You know what I’m thinking, guys?” Faye asked.

“What?” Jet said.

“Perhaps she’s the one robbing him!”

I gave them both an inquiring look, “Do you think that’s possible?”

“For crying out loud, Spike!” Jet’s exasperation was one of his most conspicuous traits. “Everything’s possible!”

“What else did this Mr. Hurst tell you?” said Faye.

“He told me that hefty amounts of money have been vanishing from several of his bank accounts with no plausible explana-”

“Let me interrupt you right there,” Faye interjected. “Why aren’t those banks helping him?”

“Mr. Hurst wishes to maintain this matter discreet. Like I said, not only is he a stellionaire, but he also wishes not to attract unwanted attention upon himself. He’d rather not start asking questions.”

“I can dig that!” Jet put in. “I would do it myself.”

“Boys, if we agree to do this, I believe Mrs. Hurst is the first lead we should follow. Let’s not jump to conclusions, though!’

Faye pointed a finger at Jet. “Like Mr. Black here so bluntly put it, everything’s indeed possible!

XII.

The decision that we should begin our investigation on Sonya Hurst by going to Io, the driest of the four massive moons of Jupiter, was unanimous.

Damien had met Sonya there, so our hope was to unearth information on what her life had been previous to that encounter. We figured the person she had been before Damien entering her life was certainly a good indicator of who she was once they first got acquainted, and then became intimate.

As we were about to depart from Tharsis, Jet marked a direct route to Io on the Bebop’s navigation system. We’d go on autopilot. Since there’s no astral gate connecting Mars to Jupiter, it would take us half a day of tedious interplanetary voyage to get there.

Making good use of those long hours, Jet and I seized the opportunity to scan the authorities’ digital archives. Most ISSP information is obviously encrypted, which means it’s not available to the general public. Not even to bounty hunters, who often collaborate with the Force.

Still, Edward - our enfant terrible and hacker supreme - was able to hack her way into the system whenever the need arose - as was the case right now.

While she enthusiastically scanned the screen, delving into page after page of data on Io’s old archives, I squirmed on the sofa, disposing of half-smoked cigarettes. Feeling both restless and bored, I finally got up and approached the kid.

“Ed, do you expect to find something useful anytime soon? Or are you simply relying on dumb luck?”

Ed squawked, “FYI, Ed already has what Ed needs!”

XIII.

“Check that chick out!” I blurted, watching the screen over Ed’s shoulder. “She’s something!”

The face of a beautiful lady in her late twenties filled the screen. Asian brown eyes punctuated by subtle microblading eyebrows; shaded cheekbones enhancing her proportionate facial features; wavy, auburn hair, shoulder-length.

Sonya Hurst was stunning. Her very feminine semblance suggested a shy demure. She irradiated a delicacy which reminded me of a singing geisha I once knew.

“Scroll down,” I said. “There’s some information about her.”

Ed pressed a button. A succinct personal bio appeared.

Name: Sonya Hurst, née Merikh

Age: 28

POB: terraformed moon of Io, Jupiter orbit

DOB: 7th November 2043

Education: BA geology exploration

Civil status: married

Previous spouse: Lucas Tavernier

Current spouse: Damien Hurst

Current occupation: unknown

I put an unlit cigarette in my mouth. I read somewhere that it still enables nicotine absorption. “Is that all there is?”      

“Wait,” Ed hammered the keyboard, conjuring some more of her magic. Seconds later, further info on our girl was displayed.

Mars Space Court

Intercosmic Space Statement:

15th October 2067

Accused: Sonya Tavernier

Summoned for questioning pending a criminal offence of theft.

Case discharged on the grounds of unsubstantiated allegation.

Judicial fundament: lack of evidence.

Date of release: same.

Ed hit a few more keys, and then stopped. “Ed finds nothing else!”

Jet and I exchanged glances.

“All right,” I said. “What do we make of that?”