#and i planned my tattoo around it as a grad present to myself for having *done the thesis*

[daddy-socrates]

okay so, in a disappointing and frustrating turn of events, my thesis defense is once again postponed. i got an email like an hour and some ago where the department head said one of my committee members has enough comments and suggested revisions that it would make sense for me to work through them before going to defend it.

which! i get it, they want to make sure i'm at my best before i give the biggest presentation on the biggest project of my whole actual almost-career so far.

but it does feel like "you are bad at philosophy and also you suck. personally"

i know it isn't, and i've already gone through the whole process of mourning or whatever. but im especially bummed because like, 1. i now view my MA thesis the way i view my BA thesis ("technically got the credit" level work). and that sucks. it sucks!!!!!!!! until now i felt almost confident in it!!!!! :(

and 2. im still good to walk at graduation next weekend which is cool, but UNFORTUNATELY i was hoping that i would feel i'd EARNED it by having PRESENTED my thesis. it was always the plan that i would do the final revisions and get the full transcript and actual degree in august, but now graduation feels hollow and fucking fake since i can't defend until late june.

this sucks

[spicywhenspeaking]

For @madomens !

Noah smut & giggles so 18+ nerds (affectionately)

unedited b/c lazyyy

You haven’t seen Noah and the guys in over a two months since he went on tour. Your last year of grad school has been kicking your butt! Thankfully it’s finally over and as a graduation present Noah rented out a lake house for all of you to enjoy for a week of fun in the sun, swimming, jet skis and hours of lounging by the pool. You were so excited! About relaxing and having fun of course, but mostly excited to see Noah again. You missed him so much and even though you call and text constantly nothing can compare to being together.

The plan was to meet at the lake house since they where and heading strait there from the airport and my apartment is only an hour and a half away from the house they rented. I spend the drive listening to a mix of my boyfriend screaming and early 2000’s club hits making it a head banging and hip swinging car dance party.

The boys got to the house a few hours before me, I had a late start to the trip. In other words I woke up and had a flat tire and it took me 3 hours to get a new one on, no way I was driving long distance on a donut.

Pulling up to the house I’m shocked at the size, it’s massive with a long paved drive way. Noah must have been following my location because as I’m driving up he runs out the front door with a huge smile oh his face that I know I’m returning and looking like a love sick goof. I park the car and quickly unbuckle and he’s already half way there because of his long legs.

I’m out of the car soon and within a few steps in throwing myself up into his arms and wrapping my legs around his waist. “Oh baby I missed you so much” he says with his face buried in my neck. “I missed you too” I tell him back and begin peppering his face with kisses until our lips meet in a searing kiss. I’m not sure how long we’re lost in each other but at some point the other guys come out the door and see us. “Alright you two! Reel it in! You’ll have all week to suck face!” Nicholas yells and the two other laugh. Noah places me back on the ground and tousles my hair slightly. “Hey!” I call out and jump to mess up his hair in retaliation. He giggles and lunges out of the way towards my car to unload my bag. I sigh happily and head towards my friends to say hello.

Folio and Jolly both wrap me up in big hugs and congratulate me on my graduation. “Thanks guys!” I say to them returning their hugs with love. Nicholas come and puts his arm around my shoulder, ushering me inside. “Congrats dude, I brought my tattoo gun if you wanted some celebratory ink ?” I wrap my arms around him and thank him profusely. “Amazing! But maybe later in the week so I can go swimming,” he nods and we walk the rest of the way into the house.

It’s huge! With a huge front entrance and a double staircase that leads upstairs. We keep walking forward into the large living room. It has a big cloud couch that we all pile onto. Noah is following behind with my bag and leans behind where I’m seated. “Hey” he kisses my forehead and gestures his head back towards the stairs. “Let me show you our room” he sets my bag down, reaches over and picks me up off the couch and puts me next to him. Picking the bag back up and grabbing my hand he leads us to the stairs, “be right back guys!” I call towards the group that’s settled onto the couch.

Noah leads us up to our room, he picked the corner bedroom that has a en-suite bathroom and a small balcony. “Wow, this room is beautiful Noah! I can’t believe you rented this whole house just for me” I say in awe. He comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. Humming a quiet “I’d do anything for you baby” he nuzzles into my neck and leaves hot open mouth kisses and then sucks lightly at my pulse point.

“Ah, Noah what are you doing?” I ask surprised but leaning into his touch. It’s by no means unwelcome. His hands wander under the hem of my shirt, his fingers gently toying with the skin above my jeans. “I’m saying hi to my girlfriend.” He spins me around so we’re face to face. “Properly” he kisses me passionately and everything else fades away.

He hoists me up so I can wrap my legs around him again, this time we thankfully have privacy. He holds me close and walks us back towards the end and once we’re there he throws me back towards the pillows. He strips off his shirt and crawls up the bed until my let’s are on either side of him and his hips are flushed with my own. I drag my hands up his torso towards his broad shoulders and then down to feel the muscles in his arms. “You’re getting so strong, it’s hot” I wink and he grins, “yeah, pumping some serious iron” he jokes.

“You’re such a dork!” I respond and he laughs before moving to pull off my shirt. “Yeah well, you’re into it so just be a good girl and take the rest of your clothes off so I can finally fuck you. I’m dying over there”

My mouth hands open slightly, taking a moment to recover from both the pet name and the sexy demand. I scramble to unbutton and shimmy out of my jeans. He expertly unhooks my bra with one hand. Leaning down he places a tender kiss against my lips as his hands squeeze my breasts and tweak my hardening nipples. He kisses my cheek and neck, biting and sucking on my skin. Taking my nipple into his mouth and swirling his tongue around the tight nub, I moan at the sensation.

Noah continues his path down my body until he reaches the top of my panties. Hooking his fingers down the sides be drags him slowly down my legs and tosses them aside. Pulling my legs apart his eyes darken, “oh I missed this” he says before diving in. “Fuck ! Noah” I yelp as his tongue flattens against my core, dipping in slightly. He starts sucking gently on my clit and my body bucks off of the bed. He adds a finger and pumps it in and out, angling to hit that perfect spot. “Ah! Noah, yes. Right there,” I moan and tangle my finger in his hair. He hums into me and adds another finger, stretching me and getting me ready to take his thick cock.

“Fuck, Noah. It feels so good. Need more.” I moan. “I need you inside me.”

He sits up and takes his finger out with a wet pop. Standing up he pulls off his pants and underwear and his cock springs up, slapping his skin. “Fuck, I missed you so much baby, can’t wait to feel you taking my cock” he says as he climbs back up and pulls my hips forward towards his own until they’re flush. He slaps his cock against my pussy and it makes an obscene sound.

He pushes in slowly and my wet core takes him in greedily. “Fuck” we both moan out in unison and he settles in when he’s fully inside.

He starts with an even pace and gradually picks up, he folds my legs up as he snaps his hips against mine with a carnal slap as he hits the spot inside me again and I see white.

Suddenly our door flys open and my orgasm is raking through me so I don’t have the ability to stop the low moan that leaves my mouth.

“Hey- pizzas her- OH FUCK!” Folio screeches and his hands fly to his eyes as he scrambles to exit. “She’s been here for like ten minutes man!! Have you no control” he continues to yell from the other side of the door.

Noah just rolls his eyes, his hips not slowing down for a second despite the interruption. “Are you okay?” He checks in mid thrust.

I nod and he readjusts my legs so he can circle my clit, he leans back slightly and spits down adding more wetness to our joined bodies. Soon my pussy is clenching down on him again and I’m calling out in pleasure as another orgasm rips through me.

“Okay, now you on top.” He says and swings us around to switch positions. Settling back onto his cock it feels even bigger and fuller inside of me. “Oh, Noah! It’s so good! fuck!”I rock up and down, bouncing and feeling him hit the deepest parts of me. It’s perfect.

“You feel so good baby” Noah says and pushes his hips up to meet mine, fucking me from below. The new angle is everything. I feel overcome with pleasure and third orgasm shatters me as I fall onto Noah’s chest trying to catch my breath. As my walls clench and pulse around Noah’s hard member, he gently pulls out and flips us back over moan as he spills his hot cum over my stomach and breasts.

“That was fucking amazing.” Noah says as he collapses next to me on the bed. “Fucking amazing babe.” He kisses my shoulder lightly and try’s to even put his breathes before getting up to run and grab a towel to clean off my stomach and chest. He lays back down in bed and pulls me into cuddle tightly against his chest.

We bask in the after glow of our reunion for a few minutes before showering quickly. I throw on a clean outfit and we head back downstairs to join the others. We are welcomed with chorus of wolf whistles and hoots, “damn! You two can’t keep your hands off each other for ten damn minutes before getting nasty!” Jolly says. “Yeah, the pizza got delivered and I bet Folio fifty bucks he wouldn’t go up to tell you guys” Nicholas laughs and I throw a pillow at them.

“You pervs, I can’t wait until y’all being girls around. I can tell them all about your fart contests and horrible taste in candy” I send a glare towards Jolly at the end. “Hey! Lots of people like licorice!” He contests.

I roll my eyes, “yeah! A lot of old people, people in their nineties! Sorry grandpa” I joke and we all fall into a fit of laughter.

We flop onto the couch together and cuddle close.

“Put on a movie!” I say excitedly as I reach for the pizza and open the box.

“Alright, what’s your usually post coital movie choice” Folio asks with a shit eating girl.

“Hmmm” I tap my chin. “Let me think, what about the 40 year old virgin? Maybe then I’ll finally understand you guys” I joke and then I feel a pillow hit the side of my face.

Hope this is what you where looking for!!! 🫶🏻

[imaginingsoftly]

Baseball Trivia Pt. 2 - Josh Anderson

Type: Y/N insert shorts, strangers to enemies-ish to lovers, series

Requested: No

Warnings: standard swearing

There was no fucking way. Y/N stared at Thatcher as he talked, but the words he was saying weren’t computing. No fucking way was Josh Anderson on his way to Vancouver. It was like fate had heard her think that they would never meet again and laughed as she sent Josh in Y/N’s direction. “Earth to Y/N, where the fuck did you just go?” She snapped back to the present, shaking her head and smiling at the mountain of a man in front of her instead of responding. Thatcher gave her another weird look before continuing. “We’re gonna have the end-of-summer barbeque at my place after the last day of training camp, and I expect you to be there. Someone’s gotta help me man the grill.” 

It was tradition. End-of-summer barbeques had become a thing beginning their sophomore year at BC, after the pair had become close during their freshman year. Almost eight years later it was still a yearly tradition, though now the barbeque was extended to the entirety of the training-camp team rather than just a few friends. “Took you long enough to pick a date,” Y/N retorted, slapping the bill of Thatcher’s baseball hat. “ I thought I was gonna have to have a barbeque all by myself.” Thatcher slapped the bill of her hat in response, and it turned into an all-out war. As an only child, Thatcher had become the closest thing she had to a brother, shenanigans included. It was refreshing to have someone to mess with who wouldn’t get upset when she roughhoused a little. 

Even while trying not to let Thatcher and his professional athlete muscles overpower her much smaller frame Y/N found her mind wandering back to Josh. There was really no reason for her to be freaking out as much as she was. It was one hook up. There were no strings implied, no numbers exchanged, it’s not like she ghosted the guy, not really. Thatcher had never really expressed any distaste towards her dating other NHLers, but it was different when it came to his teammates. They were like his brothers, and were therefore her brothers by extension. In other words, off limits. 

She really just needed to relax. He wasn’t even on the team when they got together. Everything would be fine. Josh was part of the family now, and she would follow his lead. If he wanted people to know they hooked up then fine, but if he wanted to act like a stranger that was even better. Thatcher was a little bit too protective of Y/N at times, and she religiously avoided getting into it with his teammates just to make sure she didn’t mess with team chemistry. Honestly, there was a chance Josh wouldn’t even remember her. It’s not like the guy had a glowing reputation anyway, and they had been drinking. It would be fine. Maybe if Y/N repeated it to herself often enough, she would start to believe it. 

Y/N sighed heavily, giving in as Thatcher managed to wrestle her into a headlock. “Seriously, Y/N, are you okay?” Thatcher released his arm and turned her so they were facing each other. Crap. Here comes the interrogation. “You’ve been on another planet since we started talking. What gives?” She shrugged. There was no way she was going there right now. 

“I guess I’m just tired, bro,” she said with a shrug, “conference play just started. I’ve got a lot on my plate.” Thatcher reached up to squeeze her shoulders, and Y/N struggled not to cringe at how easily he ate up her lie. It sucked to lie to him, but there was no way she was going to tell him about Josh, not without talking to Josh first. Her response seemed to placate Thatcher, and he gave up on that line of questioning after making Y/N promise to take care of herself. 

Keeping things from Thatcher was tough; he was there for her after her boyfriend of three years broke up with her halfway through their junior year of college, he drove her down to UConn the summer after graduation so she could begin her first internship as a college grad, and he’d been the one to welcome her to Vancouver with open arms after the completion of said internship. He was there for every important part of her adult life, and now the one thing she hadn’t told him was going to bite her in the ass. The universe was out to get her. 

Training camp would begin tomorrow, and in a couple of weeks Y/N would have to face Josh in the same backyard she was sitting in at the moment. There went any sleep she had planned to get before basketball was added to her workload. 

---Josh POV--------------------------------------------------

“So there’s no one in your life? No girl at all? Not even a hookup?” The questions were getting annoying, to say the least. It wasn’t the guys’ fault; they just wanted to get to know him. The problem was that he shouldn’t be doing this. He was supposed to stay in Columbus, live his life there until he retired and then move back to Canada. 

Josh shook his head. “No hookup. Although there was this one girl,” he said with a small smile, “she was something else. We talked for hours at the bar, and she knew so much about baseball and hockey history. We hooked up, and then she was gone when I woke up the next morning. No note, no number, nothing. And she was from out of town, so I couldn’t even try running into her at the same bar again.” All of the guys groaned sympathetically, and they finally let that line of questioning go. Truthfully, he hadn’t thought about that girl in months. She had been fun to talk to, and tough enough to dish back everything Boone and Seth had thrown at her, but it wasn’t like he wanted to fucking marry the girl or anything. Mostly, it was the fact that she had left that stuck with him. He was always the one leaving. The girls usually tried to hang around, maybe try to get more than one night. It was an asshole thing to think, he knew that, but damn it sucked to be on the other end of it. He didn’t even know where she lived. In all of their time talking he only learned she worked at a university. He didn’t even know if it was in the States or Canada. 

A tape ball connected with the side of his head, and Josh shot a glare at Bo from across the locker room. A middle finger almost followed, until he noticed video cameras catching the exchange. Josh waved at the intern behind the camera sheepishly. They would have had to cut that for their welcome back video if he hadn’t caught himself. Another tape ball came flying at his head, courtesy of Stecher, and Josh whipped that one back at his teammate with a grin. The guys were alright, even if some of them could be pretty childish. Even Hughes acted older than some of the guys, and he was the team baby. A body slumped down into the stall next to Josh’s, and he looked over to find Thatcher watching him. “‘Sup, Dems?” 

Thatcher smiled up at Josh, a shock considering the choice words he’d thrown in Josh’s direction after a particularly nasty dangle he’d put past the goalie at the end of practice. “Barbeque at my place this afternoon.” Shit. He’d planned on exploring the city, maybe finding a hookup tonight. “Non-negotiable, everyone comes,” Thatcher interrupted, almost like he knew Josh was about to refuse. “It’s a tradition. One of my college friends and I get together and man the grill. We’ve been doing it for almost eight years now. Bring yourself and your booze of choice if it isn’t beer or wine.” Josh nodded. Your goalie says you come to some end-of-summer party, you go to the party. Don’t mess with a goalie’s traditions or superstitions. Thatcher stood, punching Josh’s shoulder. “Everybody starts showing up around 4. See you then.” 

Thatcher made his way around the locker room repeating the same announcement, and it was met with shouts of excitement and reminiscing on barbecues of year’s past. Clearly it was a hit. Brock and Petey somehow roped Josh into riding to the party with them, promising that Josh would be happy he’d taken an Uber with them instead of driving himself. “The drinking is legendary,” Brock had promised, a solemn nod of agreement coming from both Petey and Stecher, who flanked Brock. Legendary parties were his thing. This would be even ground, and he could keep up. Bring on the drinking.

--Y/N POV----------------------------------------------------

Y/N woke up the day of the barbeque feeling sick as the Dropkick Murphys blasted on her alarm. It didn’t matter how many times she told herself it would be fine, running into the guy she had ghosted was going to suck. Hopefully he was as interested in revealing their hookup as she was, and it would never get mentioned again. 

She groaned as her alarm continued to scream the lyrics to Rose Tattoo, reaching up to swipe the alarm off her phone. Thatcher was expecting her at his place before he left for camp in an hour with a list of groceries for him to pick up on the way home. The desserts Y/N had prepared the night before were sitting on the counter when she stumbled into the kitchen for coffee, mocking her with their chocolatey stare. It was going to be one of those days. She caved, shoving one of the cupcakes into her mouth with a groan. If she didn’t get a handle on herself before she made it to Thatcher’s he was going to get suspicious. The last time she acted this strangely some poor kid from the Comets almost got punched for flirting with her. The guys had good intentions, but sometimes they took the caveman shit too far. 

With her coffee brewed and cupcake eaten, Y/N shuffled into the bathroom to get ready for the day. She washed her face and brushed her teeth on autopilot, debating if mascara were really necessary. The guys had seen her at her worst, and she didn’t really care what they thought about the sprinkling of acne on her jawline that just wouldn’t go away. It’s not like she was interested in any of those idiots. Well, any of the idiots that had been with the team before a couple of weeks ago, anyway.

A hat would be necessary, even if she was just going to be in Thatcher’s house until it was time to grill. Her nose would burn something awful if she didn’t wear something with a bit of protection, and the soccer games she was working that week would just add to the burn. Hat protection for sure. She slapped on an old BC Hockey hat, one she’d stolen from Thatcher, and looked into her closet with a sigh. The decision on what to wear took far too long. The guys loved to throw her in the pool, especially Brock when he got drunk, so her bathing suit needed to be reliable. The problem was that they also loved to take photos for their social media pages, and her most reliable swimsuits were also the least flattering. The black and white striped bikini was the most durable, but Y/N really wanted to wear the strappy midnight blue one-piece she’d gotten on a whim during a day trip to Seattle. Durability won out in the end, and the bikini was stuffed into her bag beside the pajamas that would inevitably find use when she didn’t want to go all the way home at the end of the night. 

Y/N’s drive to Thatcher’s was relaxing. She lived in the middle of the city, fond of the ability to walk down the street to the grocery store or the bars, but Thatcher’s place was right outside the city, on a quiet sidestreet that better resembled a neighborhood in her hometown. She stopped at their favorite coffee shop on her way out of the city, picking up another coffee for her and a breakfast sandwich for Thatcher. It didn’t matter how many times the nutritionist told him to knock it off, Y/N knew he relied on those sandwiches to get him through morning skates. In no way was Thatcher a happy camper in the morning. His attitude rivaled even hers. Thatcher was waiting outside when she arrived, sitting on his front stoop like she had missed curfew or something. 

“You’re late,” Thatcher called as she opened her door, “and you’re gonna make me late for camp if you don’t hurry it the fuck up.” Y/N raised her middle finger in response, leaning back into the car for the desserts. Thatcher appeared behind her to help carry things, and Y/N had to slap his hand away from the trays when he tried to reach for a cookie. If he ate one now, he’d eat them all by the time the actual party started. She’d learned that lesson the hard way. Y/N placed the breakfast sandwich on top of the tray of cookies Thatcher was carrying, and he leaned down quickly to kiss her cheek. “You’re the bomb, bro, my saviour.” Y/N rolled her eyes. He was so dramatic about his breakfast sandwiches. 

Y/N finally managed to get Thatcher out the door and off to camp with a promise to get the backyard ready for that night, so long as he grabbed the necessary groceries on the way home. It was their agreement since they’d both settled in Vancouver; she brought dessert and got the house ready for guests, Thatcher bought all the food and alcohol. Everything was ready for the night, really, with the exception of the grill. It looked like it hadn’t been cleaned since she cleaned it last summer, so Y/N grabbed all of her cleaning supplies with a sigh. She needed a clean grill if they were going to make burgers tonight. That was non-negotiable. 

---Josh POV--------------------------------------------------

Brock and Stecher were far too loud when they were tipsy. Petey was fine, if anything even more quiet than normal, but the other two were borderline obnoxious. The pregame had begun the moment everyone rolled up to Brock’s place, and Josh had to admit he hadn’t expected it. Pregaming a team party was a little weird, but hey, he was with a bunch of fellow hockey players. They didn’t always do things that made sense. Herding them into the Uber waiting on the street outside Petey’s apartment was no easy feat, and Josh felt himself sweating a little bit as the responsible one of the party. This never happened. He was always the one being herded.

The ride was long, as apparently Thatcher lived outside the city, and Brock kept Josh entertained with stories of barbecues past. “I think the worst, though, was that time Jake almost drowned.” Stecher started laughing, and Josh stared at him uncomfortably. A teammate almost drowning was funny? Brock must have caught his expression, because he hurriedly continued. “He wasn’t actually drowning, he was just so drunk that he sat in the shallow end and yelled for help. It came up to like his chest.” Stecher roared with laughter again, and Josh joined in a little bit. That must’ve been a sight.

Thatcher’s house was far too nice for a bachelor, a moderately large home that was built for a small family and not a single hockey player who basically lived on the road. It was homey-looking, covered in gray wooden shingles and boasting a wrap-around porch Josh envied. It was perfect for sitting with a small group of friends. He could only imagine the inside, if the outside was any indication. The landscaping and yard decorations gave away that Thatcher hadn’t decorated the place himself. The inside probably looked like a design catalogue vomited on it.

Cars lined the long driveway and the street in front of it, all Range Rovers and fancy sports cars guys who didn’t know how to spend their money splurged for. Josh caught himself as the wave of negative thoughts continually rolled over him. These were his teammates, not the enemy. Those thoughts weren’t helpful. 

Josh was pulled out of his line of thinking by the stopping of the Uber, and he was the only one to thank the older guy driving as they all piled out of the car. Petey led the way into the house, though Stecher made his presence known with a shouted hello as he brought them through a hallway that indeed looked like a design catalogue and into a bright and airy kitchen. The cabinets were white, as were the countertops, though most of the walls were covered in some kind of dark teal tile. 

Thatcher was slumped on a countertop, flicking the bill of the baseball cap on the girl in front of him. He laughed when she raised a middle finger at him, flicking the hat again. The girl mumbled something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like a threat, in a voice that sounded vaguely familiar. She reached up and smacked Thatcher’s hand when he went to flick her hat again, and Thatcher laughed harder as he swept three beers off the counter and walked back outside through the accordion doors to his left. The girl shook her head after him, though the moment was broken when Brock stumbled into the room behind Josh. 

“Y/N!” Brock yelled enthusiastically. He threw his arms around the girl from behind, and the laugh she let out made Josh freeze. It couldn’t be. “Babe,” Brock continued, “you’ve gotta meet our new teammate. He’s your kind of player. Likes to hit things.” Brock began to turn the girl around by the arm still slung over her shoulders, and Josh almost shouted at him to stop. He knew that laugh, and the girl attached couldn’t be here. Their eyes met, and Josh saw the panic he felt reflected in her eyes.

He was so fucked. 

[tirednotflirting]

sleepyhead - c.h.

right now i’m a few glasses of wine in and i’ve finally got the guts to post fic for the first time ever so here is a lil blurb thing i wrote in between studying for different finals last week when thinking of soft morning cal was distracting me from primate anatomy.

word count: ~1.9k

she woke up to the smell of cigarette smoke tickling at her nose. after a second breath, she caught a whiff of fresh coffee and rain on the brick walls of her building. knowing he must be out on the covered balcony, she listened closely for the sound of rain, wondering if it had stopped yet, and also picked up his quiet humming of a song she couldn’t quite figure out. a slight breeze blew into the room, causing her to pull the thick comforter up from where it rested at her waist and let her eyes finally flutter open as thoughts of sleeping later drifted off.

the room was dark for 9am, she observed after rolling over to grab her phone and seeing the time. her weather app told her that the storm was to continue well into the evening so if his plans for the day had included anything outside, they would likely need to be put on hold. she lifted her body from the mattress and finally caught sight of him out on the patio, the half-opened door giving her a view of him sipping from his favorite mug with the same hand that held his cigarette as he wrote something in a journal resting against the small glass table she had bought during the summer.

“your balcony has a nice view,” he had said one afternoon in june, soon after they had become friends who actively sought out each other’s company rather than waiting for the next time the world brought them together through mutual friends. “you should get a table out here when you’re more settled, would be a great morning coffee with a book spot.” she bought the table after he mentioned it a second time.

she thought of their initial meeting one another earlier in the year as she glanced up to check on him every couple of minutes as she went through her school inbox on her phone.

it was a grad party back in may for lianna, a friend a couple years her senior. it was out on some trendy rooftop place downtown her parents had rented out. lianna was the kind of girl who knew every kind of person, including the girlfriend of a drummer called ashton irwin. the couple had come along and brought with them ashton’s bandmate, calum. they blended in well with the ucla media studies crowd in their dress and overall low key attitude to the lights and sparkles and fruity drinks that came with downtown la in late spring.

she was a photography major and had met lianna when she got approval to take a senior level course that spring, despite only being a sophomore. she got on well with everyone at the party, all of them being her (now former) classmates and her face was growing achy with how much she was smiling as everyone told her their postgrad plans. she had been taking a social break and was standing at the bar, trying to flag down the bartender, her short stature failing her at that moment. she felt a presence to her left as she huffed in frustration, along with a deep “need some help?”. she turned and saw a man that she remembered recognizing when she had seen him walk in with a gorgeous couple earlier in the night. he was in a band, plays bass, lianna had told her over the tops of their wine glasses. he’s australian, and has a very cute dog, had also been added by the tall red-haired girl.

“yeah, thanks. guess he can’t hear me,” she replied, a tired smile returning to her face. a similar one spread across the curly-haired boy’s lips. “what are you drinking?” he asked, looking down to her as his hand lifted to grab the attention of the bartender, who immediately noticed the man. she took a moment before answering to admire the tattoos that she could see dancing across his forearm as his rolled sleeve pushed up to his elbow.

“the rosé.”

he lifted his chin in a short nod and recited the order as well as his own to the bartender. she pulled herself up into one of the stools at the bar to give her heeled feet a rest and to reduce at least a little bit of the difference in height between herself and the man.

“i’m calum,” he introduced himself, reaching a tattooed hand out into the somewhat limited space between the two of them.

“bennie,” she smiled lazily, her smaller hand accepting his as a glass of pink wine is placed beside her.

she set her phone back to charge and finally pushes back the covers. she reaches to the floor at the end of her bed to pick up a cardigan to throw on over the t-shirt she stole from him to wear when he got in the night before. he would always tease her for taking one of his ratty band t-shirts every time he ended up at her place after the airport rather than his own but never enough for her to toss it back in his duffle.

california in winter could just barely be called that, but the storm was bringing through something they would all call a cold front. he looks up from his writing as he hears her bare feet padding closer to the open door and gently shuts the leather journal, his pen marking his place.

he takes another drag of the cigarette, turning towards the street to blow away the smoke. “lovely weather we’re having today, huh?”

she scoffs at his sarcasm as she pulls out the seat across from him. “la is so happy to have you home that the whole city is crying tears of joy.” 

“hush, ben.” he rolls his eyes but smirks nonetheless at her words.

he takes a moment to admire the girl that’s come to be one his best friends as she reaches forward to pour coffee from the French press he had made into a second mug. sleep had pulled most of her hair from the braid she had done up when they were eating pasta in the kitchen the night before. her eyes were dark around the edges due to the college-student style of exhaustion she always seemed to be and the eyeliner she had claimed she didn’t really need to wash away before bed. seeing her in his clothes made him feel warm in a way he didn’t really understand but always pushed away the thought of.

“ah, you’re right.” she says after a sighing as she takes her first sip from her mug. “she’s actually crying because you’re leaving again in a few days.”

the smile on his face drops as he reaches a foot out to tap against her leg. “hey now, yes i’ll be leaving but then you’re down for that party in the city for new years, right?”

she’s already down to the bottom of her mug (the French press was doing a shit job at retaining any heat and she was going to need to just go back into the kitchen and make more). “if you’ll still have me, yeah. which i hope you will because i’ve definitely already bought the flight.”

“bennie, you were supposed to let me get that.” he says to her with furrowed brows, a small pout forming.

she stands and holds a hand out for his mug so she can go in and make a second cup for the both of them. “okay, well you already got me a room and since your label are the ones hosting the party, you’re basically paying for all my drinks too. so i-“

“it was gonna be your Christmas present, love.” he sighs, handing his mug over.

“the room can be the prese-“

“bennie,” he cuts her off and places a hand at her hip to stop her as she tries to scoot around him to get back inside for coffee and to get away from the conversation. she looks down at where his chipped black polished fingers are placed. “just wanna be able to do something nice for you. i know you worked your ass off this semester and that you’re avoiding the fam for the holiday so i just wanted to treat you.”

she studies the mugs in her hands to avoid his gaze. calum turns his chair to face her so he can wrap both arms around her waist. she huffs and sets the mugs down on the table, letting her hands fall to his shoulders as she looks down to his patient brown eyes.

she takes a deep breath as she moves one hand to the back of his neck, her fingers twirling around the curls there. “and i appreciate it. and i’ve been feeling all warm and fuzzy ever since you asked me to join for this. i think i just convinced myself that letting you do too much for me would make it seem like i was taking advantage. don’t ever want you to feel that way about me.”

his bottom lip juts out further after hearing her think that he could ever even for a moment have some kind of ill opinion of her. “wouldn’t dream of thinking that, darling. i invited you to a party clear across the country, just wanted to make sure you were taken care of.”

she feels something flutter inside her when he calls her by pet names and talks about taking care of her but she pushes the thought away. “we should talk more when planning, huh?”

he laughs and shakes his head at her as he opens his legs so she can stand between them as he pulls her closer, his arms moving to wrap more fully around her waist. he lets his head fall against her stomach. “i’m still exhausted.”

she runs a hand through his hair. “it’s called jet lag, ace. go get back in bed. let’s finish the season of peaky blinders we fell asleep in the middle of last night and then we can go pick up duke.” 

he hummed his agreement with the plan for the rest of the morning before turning his head to place a kiss to the inside of bennie’s wrist. as she wanders past him, mugs and french press gathered into her arms, he puts out the last of his cigarette in the ashtray he brought over after she yelled at him for using one of her favorite mugs for the purpose. she’s already back in the kitchen, filling the kettle before setting it back on the stove and digging through her cabinets for the dark roast she’s decided she wants to make for her second cup of the day.

she comes back to her room several minutes later with two steamy mugs to find calum asleep again, her pillow tucked against his chest. she could almost coo at him cuddled under the blanket, chapped lips pouted out as he softly snores. she chuckles quietly to herself as she sets the mugs on her desk before gently climbing back into bed and pulling the pillow away from his arms. it’s only now that she notices the door is still open, the rain still falling at a steady pace and the breeze sneaking its way across the room. as she lays her head against the pillow that now smells of whatever new cologne he picked up on the road, an arm reaches over her body, pulling her against his warm chest. 

“thanks, love,” are the last words she hears before letting her tired eyes drift shut.

~~~~~

thnx for reading if you did and come say hello (i like new pals) and lemme know if i should ever give this kinda thing a shot again. happy saturday !

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

random datasheet

ty @sybilius

1. Do you ever make your bed?

lmao no

2. What’s your favourite number?

69420 7 is nice

3. What’s your job?

Textile/soft circuits lead at a makerspace, senior astro/physics undergrad.

4. If you could go back to school, would you?

absolutely fucking not grad school is for people with more money and more support systems in place than i have and the thought of more school on purpose after this makes me want to throw up. i am good at labs and practical application of knowledge, pure math not so much. 

5. Can you parallel park?

yes but i don’t enjoy it

6. A job you had that would surprise people

made sandwiches and sold horrifying amounts of cream cheese in a bagel shop/tourist trap that got briefly shut down for health code violations that i reported before i quit

7. Do you believe aliens are real?

there is almost certainly life not on Earth out there. space is fuckoff big. do i think we’ve been visited by sapient life, or that we’ll successfully communicate with sapient life in my lifetime? no. 

8. Can you drive a manual car?

not yet

9. What’s your guilty pleasure?

a lot of. just garbage tv. stargate is on hold bc i don’t know if i care about it any more, clunking along to Fear the Walking Dead, also Van Helsing which is a SyFy show about vampires that’s exactly as trashy as it sounds. god bless SyFy for consistently putting out just weird low-budget shit i love them for it

10. Tattoos?

yes, and several planned. 

11. Favourite colour?

Red.

12. Things that people do that piss you off?

this is a disjointed frustrated rambling, thinking about a specific twitter interaction i had recently, not anyone on here, bc i am quick and vocal about nipping this in the bud and block very liberally: when people (all but one of these people have been men) i don’t know very well get overly chummy. i suspect this is due to wildly different methods of friend-making, but i am a buttoned-up mid-atlantic-er (there’s no good term for this, like new englander) and fundamentally a private and suspicious little bastard. we are strangers on the internet, and ignoring my requests for advice from a specific group of people or ignoring “please don’t suggest x” order to make a shitty joke or jokingly suggest x? that implies a level of familiarity we do not have. 

13. Any phobias?

i can’t think of too many? certain textures and sounds are unpleasant but i wouldn’t call them phobias. i don’t enjoy small confined space but they’ve never caused a panic attack. i don’t like a lot of horror bc of the misogyny inherent in the genre and bad storytelling. i am unable to suspend my disbelief long enough to get the good horror tingles, which I assume are similar to the ASMR tingles, which i also do not experience. 

14. Favourite childhood sport?

played a lot of badminton, but not with any sort of organization and not well, just me and my sister fucking around in backyards. 

15. Do you ever talk to yourself?

rarely, i will implore electronics or machines to behave, i more often find myself humming along to something under my breath without noticing. 

16. What movie do you adore?

Mad Max: Fury Road is very close to being the most perfect movie ever made. honorary mentions to Atomic Blonde, Treasure Planet, The Empire Strikes Back, Howl’s Moving Castle, and Underworld. 

17. Do you like doing puzzles?

jigsaw puzzles frustrate the living hell out of me. i like logic puzzles and well-designed video game puzzles with more than one solution. 

18. What’s your favourite kind of music?

indie

19. Tea or coffee?

tea

20. First thing you remember wanting to be when you grow up?

maybe a veterinarian? idk. a very limited palette of acceptable career options were presented to me as a child

*

as per usual if the spirit moves you consider yourself tagged

[purplesurveys]

629

What color is your bedspread? Blue and yellow. Pick up the nearest book to you, turn to page 25 and read the first sentence. I’m on the rooftop and there isn’t a book anywhere near me at the moment. How many candles are in the room you are in? No candles, just two faint beams coming from our rooftop lights. What was your first word when you were a baby? My parents didn’t give much thought to stuff like that so they didn’t keep track of my first word, whatever it was. It was most likely either mommy or daddy though. How old were you in 1996? I was...somewhere in the universe, floating around lmao.

How old will you be in 2016? I turned 18 in 2016. How long until your birthday? A little less than three months before I turn 22. How many siblings do you have? Two.  Are they older or younger than you? My sister is two years younger, my brother is five years younger. Are your grandparents still alive? I have three out of four. I lost my maternal grandfather in 2015. How many orange objects are there in the room you are in? The lights we have on our rooftop emit a yellow-orange hue.   Have you ever run a stoplight? Never. I’ve seen enough car crash videos to know what could possibly happen if I was that impatient/if I drove too fast to brake. Do you have any children? Nope. Maybe by the end of the decade. Saying that and knowing that it isn’t 100% bullshit feels WILD. How was your first kiss? It was mostly her. I was too overwhelmed and shaking too much to remember. That whole time I was just in disbelief that I was already having my first kiss lol. Have you completed high school yet? Yeah, almost four years ago. I’m about to complete university/college this year. Do you have any relatives in the military currently? As far as I know, no. The only person I know who’s in the military is Angela’s uncle, who she’s told me about but we’ve never met each other. I also know Kate’s brother is attending military school instead of attending a ~traditional academic university, so to speak. Who got married at the last wedding you went to? Oh my, the last wedding I was in was in 2007, and it was between my uncle (my mom’s youngest brother) and my now-aunt. The new batch of weddings I’m going to be invited to now is definitely gonna be my friends’ and I’m STOKED. What time did you get up today? I first woke up at 6 AM, but I wanted to sleep in so I officially got up at around 9. When was the last time you stayed up all night? I haven’t had an all-nighter in around three years, but I did stay up until 4 AM partying with my friends a couple of months ago. We got back to Rita’s place by 5 AM, but I guess this still kinda counts as staying up all night. How long have you had a myspace, facebook, or whatever you use? I’ve had a Facebook since 2013 (I only made one since my English teacher in freshman year required us to make an account, but I technically wasn’t allowed by my parents so I had to sign up in secret). I made a Twitter three years before that, because it was a website that my parents didn’t know about yet so it was easier to sneak in and make an account for it. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you hung out with? My cousin, Jereth. We exchanged stories and played the Switch while waiting for 2020 to hit. Person of the same sex? Gabie. She came over last Friday. What color are your eyes? They are dark brown but appear to be black most days. Do you like them? Sure, it’s not like Filipinos have a choice lolol. Have you ever had braces? Yes, I had them for a year and a half in high school. I eventually lost my retainers and never got to buy another set, so everything that the braces did was to no avail since my teeth just went back to how they looked like pre-braces. :( Turn on your mp3, cd player, radio, etc. What song is playing? Khalid’s Talk just started playing on my Spotify. What was the last thing you drank? My second cup of barako coffee is keeping me company up on the rooftop right now.

Are you better at math or art? Math. I never accomplished anything presentable in art classes. Science or History? Oooooh, ya got me. I love both, but nothing replaces my love for history. Who was your 4th grade teacher? Ms. Belen, who is actually Satan in a middle-aged woman’s body. I won’t deny that I’ve wished for her death several times; she had her favorites and made her non-favorites know that she hated them. She was just that awful. Who was your best friend in 7th grade? Gabie! We actually met in the seventh grade and she’s been my best friend ever since then. Where did you go to pre-school, if you went at all? I went to the same school from preschool to high school, which we’ll hide under the name AA. We don’t have schools divided into primary, secondary, high school and whatever else y’all have in America. Who was the last person to call you? It was my mom. We went to the mall so I can spend time in Starbucks while she was looking for fancy china (we were going to have guests the next day), and she called to tell me she was gonna drive to another mall cos she couldn’t find any good plates in the mall we were currently in.

Did you smile in your driver's license picture? Yes. They told me I was allowed to smile, so I gave a hearty grin. Apparently that’s an unusual thing to do cos most people just give a closed-mouth smile or don’t smile at all, and the people at the LTO were very amused when my license was finally printed out hahaha. Do you have a job? Not yet, but that’s my goal by the end of the year. AHHHHHHHH WILD What is your favorite smell? Curry being cooked or cookies being baked. What's your favorite brand of gum? Bazooka is classic bubblegum flavor, so I’ll go with that. Have you ever dated someone & then dated their sibling? Nope. I think I’d find that super awkward, especially in my case because I see Gab’s sisters as my little sisters too lol. Who was your crush in 5th grade? My science teacher lmaoooo. We don’t talk about that era. Who was your first bf/gf? Gab. What color is the shirt you are wearing? Brown and black. What do you think of the 1980's? Pop music, big hair, Madonna, Michael Jackson. Have you ever dated someone more than 2 years older than you? I haven’t. How about 2 years younger? Nope. I’ve only dated one person and they’re the same age as me, so I don’t really know how I feel about age gaps in relationships. What brand of shampoo do you use? Dove. How long is your hair? It’s super long now that I hadn’t had it cut AT ALL in 2019. I want to have it long for my grad pic shoot so I’m probably not having it trimmed until February. If I lean my head a bit back, it already reaches my hips. If you could change one thing about yourself physically, what would it be? I’d have my teeth fixed. Is there a box of tissues in the room you are in right now? Nope, I’m out in the rooftop and there’s no reason to keep tissue in here lol. What time is it? 10:27 PM. Is their anything living (plant, animal, etc) in your room right now? We have plants on each corner of the rooftop. What color are the walls in your kitchen? White. All our walls are white, except for my brother’s bedroom which used to be the balcony until we had it renovated. His walls are creamish. Have you ever had a car accident? Mild ones. I’ve never been in a major crash where a car was totally destroyed or where someone was hurt. Do you have any major plans for today? There’s like half an hour left before the day officially ends, so I think I’m good. What kind of deoderant do you use? A...normal one? If you mean brands, I have a Dove one. What color is your toothbrush? Maroon and white. Do you own a digital camera? Nope. I stopped using those around seven or eight years ago. How old is the cellphone you have right now? It’s almost two years old. What are your initials, using the last letter of each of your names? NELZ. Do you know anyone named Tyler? I know a high school classmate’s stepbrother is named Tyler, but I don’t know anyone personally with that name. How about Reese? Katreen’s younger sister is named Reese. Diana? No. I know several Diannes, though. Shelby? That’s a no for me. Have you ever kissed someone who's name started with "C"? Negative. How about "L"? Also no. "E"? I haven’t. "B"? Andddddd nope. Are both your parents still living? Yep. What was the last thing you cooked? Nothing. How many times have you moved in your life? That I remember? Two. Do you live within 20 miles of your birthplace? Yeah, I think Manila counts as being pretty close to where I am now. Can you do a handstand? I can’t. I tried many times as a kid though (and hurt myself several times in the process). Is it after 11am? Well after, in fact. What day is it? Thursday, but it’s soon going to turn to Friday. What's the longest time you've ever spent on the phone? I was once on a Viber call for around eight hours straight with Gab back in like the early months of our relationship. That was insane. We never did it again after that lolol. How many pairs of brown shoes do you own? Just the one pair of brown heels. Are you on any prescribed medications? Nopes. What was the date 2 weeks ago from today? December 19th. If you aren't already married, do you expect to be married within 5 years? No. I’m giving myself between 7-10 years. How about 2 years? That’s an even bigger no. How many funerals have you been to in your lifetime? I’ve never been to a funeral, just wakes. I don’t think I’d like funerals, so I want to stay as unaware as I am now. Have you ever been far away from home on your birthday? Yeah. I was in Batangas for my 20th. I also went on a cruise around East Asia for my 18th birthday, but I was back in the Philippines by the day of my actual birthday. The cruise took place in the days leading up to it. Have you ever had a pet fish? Yes. My first pets were goldfish. Do you have any tattoos? Nope. Would you ever or do you have a nose piercing? Probably not. I wanted one as a teenager though. If you only had 30 days to live, what would you do? That’s pretty dark, but uhhhhhhhh I guess I’d spend all my money, party as much as I want, drink as much as I want, look for new owner/s for my dog, drive as far as I can, spend most of the time with my girlfriend.

[likexporcelain]

A Crack in Everything (Chapter 8/8-Epilogue) - Jonerys

Summary: Six years after their high school romance ended in emotional ruin, Daenerys Targaryen runs into Jon Snow by chance on Valentine's Day, forcing old memories to resurface. This sudden reunion could be cathartic, but it could also deepen the cracks already in their hearts. The question Daenerys grapples with is, will this all be worth it in the end?

Rating: Explicit

All chapters up on Ao3 -- find more tags/warnings/notes there

*SIX YEARS LATER*

Standing among my peers, shaking hands and bidding farewells to those I hope to see again but possibly never will, my eyes keep wandering out into the crowd around me, trying to find familiar faces in a sea of blue robes. Finally, as I finish posing for a now-former classmate's selfie, I see Jon, sidestepping through clusters of rejoicing grads. He is missing the blazer he'd left home in and the first two buttons of his white dress shirt were unbuttoned.

“Told you you'd be too hot in that jacket,” I say to him with a small smirk as his arms go around me and mine around him.

He kisses me. “You've always been smarter than me. And now you have the degree to prove it.”

While I had powered through undergrad, finishing in only a year as a transfer student, veterinary school proved much more taxing, especially having attended one of the best schools for veterinary medicine in the country. Today, I am overjoyed by my achievements, and at being able to kiss UC Davis and my career as a college student goodbye. Now I will enter the job market, interviewing for positions in veterinary clinics that will be a suitable fit for me and my family. Thankfully, with Jon's writing career taking off the way it is, we won't be starving while I find work.

As a few acquaintances pass us, I quickly introduce them to Jon. “This is my husband, Jon Snow,” I tell them with a bright smile. I'll never not love saying those words. Jon shakes hands with my former classmates one by one, greeting them politely.

“Wait, Jon, where's Ella?” I ask hastily, pulse jumping at the sudden realization that we are missing someone, but just as I'm beginning to panic, I see a shock of long red hair moving toward us. I let out a sigh of relief, because in Sansa's arms is my little girl, Rhaella Snow, in the shimmery red dress I bought her, her dark chocolate hair braided down her back like mine and her big blue eyes shining like sapphires.

“Mutti!” She squeals, smile wide and arm outstretched toward me. She used to call me Mama, but switched to Mutti a few months ago when Jon began teaching her German.

“Hi, pretty girl,” I say as I take my daughter from Sansa and give her a big, pronounced, smooch on the cheek, making her scrunch her nose and laugh one of her squeaky laughs. When she begins to squirm, I set her down beside Jon's legs. “Hold Daddy's hand, okay?”

“Vati!” she corrects while taking Jon's hand in both of her little ones. Jon winks down at her. She sticks her tongue out at him. It's their thing. He winks, she sticks her tongue out. Four years ago, just after Ella was born, Jon told me his goal in life was to make sure she grows up to be even smarter than me, and even funnier than him. So far, I'd say he's succeeding.

“Thank you so much for coming!” I tell Sansa as I bring her into an embrace. “Jon told me you were going to try to make it, but I know the drive from LA can be killer.”

Pushing her sunglasses atop her head, Sansa gives me an exasperated look. “You have no idea, Dany. I'm just grateful I survived.”

My eyebrows furrow curiously, but before I can ask for details, I realize she isn't the only Stark who made the trip.

One by one, I am greeted with big hugs from Robb and his wife, Talisa – their son, Eddie, apparently left at home under the watchful care of Grandma Catelyn – then Arya, Bran, and Rickon. All young adults now. Lastly, and surprising me the most, I am greeted by Ned, gray-haired and wrinkled, but looking no less strong than when I first met him twelve years ago.

“Congratulations, Daenerys,” he says, and there is a warmness in his eyes and sincerity in his small smile. Ned and I still aren't exactly close, but after almost six years of marriage to Jon and four years of being the mother to a little girl he loves dearly, I could see him slowly but surely coming around to the fact that the Starks and Targaryens are now one family.

“Groꞵvati!” squeals Ella from behind me before shooting away from Jon to grab onto Ned's leg.

“Gross? Are you calling me gross?” Ned asks down at her in the cooing, excitable voice he tends to use with her.

Ella had been calling Ned her grandfather since she could speak. It happened naturally, and no one ever corrected her. We'd taught her that Ned and Catelyn were not her actual grandparents, but told her she should call them whatever she feels is right, so they are Grandpa and Grandma – now Groꞵvati and Groꞵmutti – and they treat her like she's as much their grandchild as Eddie is. It was the same with the Stark kids. We'd taught Ella that they were Jon's cousins, but that didn't stop her from calling them her Aunties and Uncles – she hasn't made the switch to the German versions yet.

“I can't believe you're all here.” My eyes scan the Stark brood. Being the emotional mess I've been lately, I probably would have cried had it not been for the thousand or so people surrounding us still.

“We show up for family,” Ned answers and I give him a cheeky smile, knowing that he means it, even if it's still strange for him. “Now let's go get some lunch.”

The Starks all cheer at the suggestion and I am actually quite famished myself despite having eaten Pop-Tarts out of the pocket of my graduation robe during the ceremony.

We are instructed to meet up at one of the fanciest restaurants in Davis – Ned Stark always had a knack for finding luxury wherever he went and somehow already has a list of suitable establishments memorized.

Walking to our car, Jon has his hand in mine as we watch Ella skipping ahead of us, waving her hands up at the butterflies circling above. The most beautiful girl on the planet. That was what Jon thought I was when he saw me in Chemistry twelve years ago. I never really understood the weight of that until Ella. If Jon had looked at me and felt only half of what I feel looking at my daughter, it would still be more love and longing than I ever thought possible.

It would be a lie to say I had not worried about having children with Jon. Not only because of our relation, but because of what happened with my first pregnancy. That being said, Ella wasn't an accident. Despite my fears and our shared trepidation, I wanted a baby with Jon and he wanted one with me, so we decided not to use any birth control during a window of time where, if I conceived, I would give birth during the Summer after finishing my undergrad degree, but before starting my graduate program at UC Davis. We must be very fertile people, because after just casually attempting to conceive, the pee stick turned up positive only four weeks after having my IUD removed. Throughout my pregnancy, I would have nightmares about history repeating itself and briefly wondered if I was really ready to face childbirth again. Jon made finding the strength easier, though, and on the day I went into labor, our daughter was born healthy and smiling. The best day of my life.

At the car, Jon buckles Ella into her car seat while I tug off my graduation robe and hat, tossing them both in the trunk.

“Wow,” Jon says after Ella is situated, eyes scanning me from head to toe. “You look incredible.”

I glance down at myself in the white sun dress I'd bought the same day I bought Ella's. It was light and short with spaghetti straps. I had been worried that the robe would make me sweat under the Summer sun, which it did. “You don't think I look fat?” I ask, chewing on my bottom lip and tasting lipstick.

Stepping close to me, Jon answers “No. You look so beautiful.” His palm flattens over the gentle curve of my belly as his mouth meets mine in a deep kiss, his short beard tickling my nose and his tongue tasting of citrus gum.

Like I said, we are very fertile. This time, it was an accident. I'd switched from an IUD to the pill only to find out three months later I was one month pregnant. I believe that it was meant to be, though. I use to say I wanted two kids by the time I turned thirty, and according to my doctor, our new little one is due just two months shy of my thirtieth birthday.

I suddenly want to ditch lunch and go straight home, put Ella down for a nap so that Jon and I can “take a nap” ourselves. But it's good that the Starks are here. Jon had probably planned it this way. He knew that I would appreciate them coming to watch me graduate, but this also presents the perfect opportunity to tell them what we found out at my last check up just a week ago, that I'm carrying another girl, a little sister for Ella. “Lyanna Targaryen Snow,” I'd said to Jon as soon as the doctor revealed our baby's sex. I hadn't even gotten all the ultrasound goo off my abdomen. We hadn't discussed names yet, but Jon had simply nodded in agreement. The way his eyes glistened and the corners of his mouth twitched, I could tell it meant a lot to him.

Breaking the kiss, Jon tells me “I knew you could do this, because you can do anything, but I'm still really proud of you, Daenerys.”

“Thanks,” I reply bashfully, thinking that we could be married for fifty years and I would still blush every time Jon Snow complements me.

Jon takes me in his arms again and we hold each other for a long minute, his cheek resting on the side of my head, and his hand on the back of my right shoulder, where in two-inch cursive letters, I have tattooed “Snow” in black and blue, and a sparkle of silver.

“Time to feed my girls,” Jon says when we part.

I climb into the passenger seat. Jon is our driver. Always. Though I had finally renewed my drivers license, I only really drove when Jon was out of town, and never with Ella in the car, unless it was an emergency. As soon as I found out I was pregnant again, I gave Jon the keys and never asked for them back. I'm not a shut-in, though. Our rental house is just two blocks from the nearest grocery store, one block from the public park, and less than a mile from campus. Jon never presses me too much to drive, but I've promised him still that I will practice driving more often after Leelee is born.

“Lyanna. It was my idea. . but we're going to call her Leelee which was Jon's idea,” I say to the Starks as we eat lunch in a restaurant much too fancy for my liking. I push cranberries out of my salad and try to think up a polite way to request ketchup with my chicken.

Everyone gushes with excitement, even Ned, because after someone as perfect as Ella coming from me and Jon, how could he not feel excitement for another Targaryen granddaughter? The only person glum about the reveal was Auntie Sansa, who had been hoping for a boy since Robb stopped letting her use Eddie as a model for her children's fashion projects.

“She'll have the Targaryen hair. I can feel it,” Jon adds before taking a huge bite of his salad, and I know that the only reason he's eating so quickly is to avoid actually having to taste it. “I was right about Rhaella having Mom's hair. Leelee will have Daenerys's. Trust me on this.”

“He owes me twenty bucks if he's wrong,” I say.

Rickon chimes in with “Isn't the whole point of being married that you can get twenty bucks off each other whenever you want?”

After a big gulp, Jon answers “Nah, it's the sex, man.”

Face turning bright red, I drop my fork against the crystal salad dish and gape at my husband while the entire Stark brood erupt in laughter. Even Ned cracked a smile.

“But you can have sex without getting married,” Rickon counters.

“You can't,” Ned tells him pointedly.

“What's sex?!” Ella shouts, causing snooty patrons from adjacent tables to leer at us.

Hand over his mouth, Jon tries to keep from laughing too hard. I simply turn to my daughter, who sits in a booster seat right beside me, and tell her plainly “Sex is something your daddy is going to be doing all by himself for a very long time.”

Her little mouth tightens and her eyebrows raise. “Vati is in trouble.”

I nod and brush some of the crumbs from her dress. When I look back at Jon, I smile, because he isn't really in trouble. His arm goes around my shoulders and I lean into him.

The rest of lunch is spent largely with Ned interrogating Jon about his work, wanting to know every detail of what his agent has been setting up for him and what sort of deals he is getting from the publishers. He doesn't want to see his nephew taken advantage of and I find that to be sweet, but the constant logistics talk bores me half to sleep. I much prefer discussing the contents of Jon's novels and his writing in general, to talk of money and creative rights.

Writing is the perfect career for Jon, not only because he is incredibly talented – more talented than he will ever understand – but also because it means Jon gets to work almost exclusively from home. While he isn't exactly a househusband, he did take care of Ella whenever I was at school and will continue to be a stay-at-home Dad, so to speak, after I find permanent employment. Things get tricky when he has to travel, but I make it work without much complaining, because if Jon being successful at something he loves means I have to use the toilet as a desk to do homework while I watch Ella bathe, I'm going to power through it.

Ned has a row of hotel rooms booked for all the Starks to stay in over night and Jon and I will eat breakfast with them in the morning before they head back to Los Angeles. Right now, though, all I want to do is go home and crawl into bed with Jon. Ned suggests taking Ella for the rest of the day, and I gratefully accept the offer. In just four months, we will have a newborn to take care of on top of our responsibilities to Ella, so any time I am able to be alone with Jon until then I treat like a second honeymoon.

Once Ella's car seat is transferred into Ned's Tesla, I say goodbye to the Starks, then to my daughter with another smooch on her smooth cheek.

Jon drives us home, to our quaint craftsman. It's cute with hardwood floors, forest green walls, a small backyard with a swing set, and most importantly, a dishwasher, but I am still looking forward to buying our own place once I settle on a job. Someplace North I hope, where it will snow every Winter. A little two-story log cabin on a five acre lot, trees everywhere except in the pasture where our future goats will graze, a small pond where Ella and Leelee will swim in the Summertime. I have it all planned out, but this time, it's all going to happen.

The first thing Jon does when we get inside is turn on the air conditioning while I go to the backdoor to let Ghost inside. Jon had brought home a three month old Husky puppy not long after we moved to Davis four years ago. “I had to get him, Daenerys,” he'd passionately explained. “He was born the same week as Rhaella. It's a sign.”

We didn't exactly fight that night, but I was frustrated at him that he hadn't given me a heads up. We'd moved our lives upstate only a month after I gave birth so that I could start veterinary school, we were still only half unpacked, and I was already pissed off from a long day of trying to pump my breast milk in between classes. And what was he doing all day? Getting a puppy. I could only remain mad at him for a couple hours, though. As soon as Ghost fell asleep in a spooning position against Ella's side, it was hard not to agree with Jon that this dog belonged with us. And, after all, a giant dog was always part of my plan. Now four years old, Ghost is the same age as Ella but the same size as myself. If he stood on his hind legs, he may actually be taller than me. A gentle giant, but a great watch dog for when Jon is out of town for some event related to the release of one of his books.

I kick off my flats and go into the kitchen to scoop out some dry food for him. While he eats, I go to the cupboards and start eating Birthday Cake Oreos from the package. Jon's arms wrap around me from behind and I feel his lips on my neck, then his tongue. I'm always hungry, but even more so, I'm always horny. Aside from immanent danger toward myself or my family, sex is probably the only thing that gets me to forget about food. So I shove the Oreo package back in the cupboard and turn around in Jon's arms, pressing my mouth to his in a deep and powerful kiss that leaves us both breathless when we finally part.

In a swift motion, Jon stoops slightly, puts one arm around my back, the other behind my knees and lifts me up. My arms wrap around his neck while he carries me to our bedroom, giggling with a pink sheen across my cheeks.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I unfasten Jon's belt while he removes his shirt. His shoes come off and I drop his belt to the floor. He's so hard already, his erection pressing against the fabric of his chinos. I pull the zipper down, then force his pants and boxers down enough to free his cock. When I wrap my hand around him and stroke, he lets out a soft moan, hand resting on the side of my head. When I wrap my mouth around him, he gasps, fingers clenching my hair where it is plaited behind my head.

“Shit,” he hisses under his breath, the same way he does when he can't find his phone. But as I swirl my tongue around the head of his cock while I suck, he follows it up with “Fuck, baby. You're so hot. I want to fuck you so bad.” He certainly doesn't say that when he loses his phone.

After reveling in his dirty talk for another minute, I pull away from him and move to the center of the bed where I pull my dress off over my head. My bra is off too by the time Jon is naked and crawling after me. I know that after having Ella, and being pregnant now, my body isn't as attractive as it was six years ago, or twelve years ago, but the way Jon's dark eyes caress me hungrily, I forget all about that. When Jon looks at me, there is no one more beautiful than me. The most beautiful girl on the planet.

He moves me onto my back and slides my panties off for me. My knees raise. I want him to have me. All of me. Right now.

“Hmm?” Jon hums as he moves between my legs.

I realize I had said “Right now” out loud. Leaning up on my elbows, I run my tongue across my bottom lip and say “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he says with a sweet smile, then kisses me soft on the mouth.

That was the end of being sweet and soft, though. After that, he was lifting my leg over his hip, latching his mouth to my neck and pushing his cock all the way inside me. I moan and whimper, digging my fingers into his back as he slowly but surely begins to fuck me the way I like him to, hitting that special spot inside of me like a pro. I feel one of Ella's stuffed animals squeezed under my back, but I don't have time to worry about that. I raise a hand to Jon's head, weaving my fingers in his loose curls and bring him up so I can sweep my tongue inside his mouth. His fingers massage my swollen breast and when his fingers brush my hard nipples I'm left gasping against his open mouth.

“Oh, God,” I breathe. “Make me cum, Jon.”

Those words were all he needed. After grazing my bottom lip between his teeth, he leans up, sitting back on his heels and lifting my ass up. One of Jon's hands squeezes my knee to keep my legs open for him, while the other slides down to my pussy. My muscles tense and my chest heaves as he fucks me even harder while his fingers rub circles against my clit. I slap both hands over my mouth to keep from crying out – a habit formed over years of trying to have sex while Ella sleeps in the adjacent bedroom.

I feel heat boiling under my skin. I'm so close. So close, and Jon's groans are growing louder and more sporadic, telling me he's almost there as well. We feed off each other. Knowing he's about to cum brings me even farther to the edge, and vice versa. My back arches and I'm nearly screaming against my sweaty palm when suddenly my already foggy eye line is bombarded by a flash of white. White fur, big red eyes and a long tongue darting out to taste the sweat on my forehead.

“Ghost!” I shout, moving my hands from my mouth to shove our dog away from me. “Off the bed! Off!”

Ghost is so heavy he makes the side of the bed sink down as his legs dance for a few seconds before I manage to get him to turn and hop down to the floor.

“Shit,” Jon hissed under his breath just as he'd done when my mouth was on him. In my squirming to get Ghost off of me, his cock had slipped out of my pussy and now Jon just sits, shaking his head down at me. “Well, that was quite the finale.”

“Why didn't you close the bedroom door?” I ask him, breathing fast and hard, eyes glaring.

“Why didn't you leave Ghost outside?” he retorts before getting off the bed and leading Ghost out of our bedroom.

“It's a million degrees outside! I'm not a monster!” As Jon finally shuts our door, with Ghost on the other side of it, I sit up to pull the stuffed bear from under me. After dropping it to the floor, I look down at myself. “Fuck, Jon, you came all over me!”

At that, Jon bursts out laughing, almost doubling over before he can crawl back onto our bed. I groan at the mess of white fluid spattered across my tummy and thighs – I even feel sticky under my butt – but I can't help but chuckle. And when Jon brings one of Ella's old shirts to my legs to clean me up, my chuckles turn to laughter. I lay back, smiling and catching my breath while my husband finishes wiping his cum off of my stomach with a toddler-sized Wonder Woman t-shirt.

“How do you say 'Your dog totally fucked up my orgasm' in German?” I ask.

Smiling wide, Jon tosses the soiled t-shirt across the room, then lies down on his side beside me. “I don't know. That phrase isn't in my flash cards. I think the Sexual Intercourse Mishaps expansion-pack got lost in the mail. I do, however, know how to say 'I left my cat in the grocery store.'”

“How useful,” I laugh, scooting a couple inches closer to Jon so that I could feel his warm skin against mine. He sits up for a moment to reach a throw blanket at the foot of our bed then pulls it across us both before settling back down, our heads resting on the same pillow.

“Guess what?” Jon asks while his fingers brush some stray hairs from my still-sweaty face.

“Hmm?”

Amusement in his voice, he says “Now that you've graduated. It's official. We're both vets.”

I side eye him with a smirk. “Have you been waiting four years to tell that joke?”

Bashfully, he nods before kissing my cheek.

My eyelids feel heavy as Jon's hand begins to gently rub my hip. “I'm just going to take a nap for like, a half hour, and then we can try again,” I whisper.

Close to my ear, Jon murmurs “Okay. Rest up, Daenerys Targaryen – best friend, love of my life, mother of my children – because when you wake up, I'm fucking you doggy-style.”

I snort a laugh and shove him away from me only to turn and curl up against his side, resting my cheek on his chest. When I stop laughing, I close my eyes, relaxing once more into the feel of Jon's skin.

A few moments of silence engulf us before Jon speaks again. “You know, now that I've had a taste of getting to cum all over you, I don't know if I'll be able to go back to just cumming inside you.”

The corners of my mouth twitched upward. “Jon Snow,” I whisper as my hand gently caresses his side. “Best friend, love of my life, father of my children – please, shut the fuck up.”

Jon's arms wrap around me, enveloping me in his firm embrace as he presses a kiss to the top of my head. And then I feel his body relax beneath me and I can finally drift off to sleep to the sound of my husband's heartbeat, lying in the yellow light of the afternoon sun coming in through the sheer curtains, content to count this as another best day of my life, because it is another day spent being loved by my family.

THE END

[capwilsons]

ten facts about this bitch

rules: write ten facts about yourself and then tag ten people you’d like to know better. I was tagged by the always wonderful @captain-bimerica. Thank you!!

1. I absolutely love the rain. Like... I can’t explain how much I love the rain (fuck snow though man, that shit is awful)

2. i have four tattoos so far (i have a big one planned as a grad present for myself, but thats like... 3 yrs and a whole lot of debt away)

3. I love baking and cooking, and not to be too cocky, but like... i’m damn good at both (if u want some of my recipes --> o.o)

4. I’m bisexual 💙💜💗

5. I’m a med student, and as much as it exhausts me, I fucking love it. 

6. i have like the biggest sweet tooth, and it’s a problem...

7. i can sort of draw but like... i wouldn’t give me too much credit on that front (although later in life i’d love to take some art classes and actually learn how to do it properly)

8. I never thought I’d be as attached to my niece as I am, but oh my god I love her so much and I’d die for that child in an instant (she’s almost 2 now and it’s so hard being halfway across the world from her)

9. I used to play soccer a lot, but I ruined (when I say I ruined, I mean this nasty dickface girl took me out with an illegal tackle) my knee... so 5 hrs of surgery and a year of post op recovery later, I don’t play so much (although I have been back on the field a few times I’m happy to say). I still love it though, and I’ll still kick around a ball with friends/family in the summer.

10. i drink so much coffee but i actually like tea way better (i need the caffeine kick of coffee though)

I tag @hellofromlesbistan, @natsharon, @capwilsoneh, @bisexualbuckysbarnes, @samingtonwilson, @feliciates, @notbuckybarnes, @valkyriespalkyries, and i can’t think of two more people so if anyone else wants to do this, please feel free!!

[writingwithadinosaur]

“Summer Secret” - Oneshot

“Summer Secret” - Oneshot

My Masterlist - Here

Tony Stark x Reader

Other Avengers Mentioned

Word Count: 2,272

Key: Y/N = Your Name, L/N = Your Last Name, H/C = Your Hair Color, E/C = Your Eye Color

Warnings: Cursing. Nothing else that I could tell. Let me know if I missed anything!

Summary: It’s the first day of summer! Your boyfriend decides to throw a party to celebrate. You don’t know how you are going to keep your recent secret hidden at this party.

Author’s Note: So I actually got a tattoo for my birthday at the convention I went to. MegaCon has had tattoo artists there for awhile and I finally was able to get a tattoo. I personally got two Mickey balloons (I can post pictures and an explanation on my blog if you all really want to know or see more). But then my family came over to swim on Memorial Day and I couldn’t go swimming because of my tattoo. So then I thought of this story! I hope you all enjoy!

This is another personal piece, I promise I am working on requests and my various series. It just takes a long time! Thank you for all your patience and support!

If you would like to be tagged in any of my future pieces (All Works, Specific Fandoms, or Specific Multi-Parts), please let me know! And as always, feedback is greatly appreciated!

<3

- DreaSaurusREX

The Avengers: Crime fighting team, Defeaters of Hydra, and your family. You moved to the city awhile back in order to escape your family and start over. Your parents were criminals and barely in your life as is. You lived with your older brother and sister for the most part. But then your brother got married and your sister started grad school, so you took whatever money you had and left. You were living in a shitty apartment in a sketchy side of town. After an encounter with a scummy thief, you found out that you were superhuman. You had telekinesis. This raised the eyebrows of Shield, and now here you are: An Avenger. Living with the best family you could ask for.

Knowing this, it was difficult to keep one huge secret from them: Your relationship with Tony. Yes, there was an age gap between the two of you. But you two had come to terms with that and accepted it. The age didn’t matter. It was the happiness that you both have gotten out of being with each other that really mattered. You were each other’s support systems, shoulders to cry on, cuddle buddies, best friends, and each other’s everything. And while you two have accepted the age gap, you didn’t know how the team would react. So you kept it under wraps, just to be safe.

Today marked 8 months of being with Tony. It was also the first day of summer, and it was the first time in awhile that the whole team was able to relax and hang out in the tower. Tony being Tony took advantage of this and called everyone for a pool party. You had gotten the mass text with the information as you were heading back to your room from being out for a few hours. You planned on just hiding in your room and relaxing. But then a familiar voice accompanied some knocks on your door.

“(Y/N)! Come on! Get your swim suit on and let’s go!”

You had just sat down. Groaning, you got up and opened the door. Tony was standing in his trunks and a white tank top with his favorite sunglasses and a smile on his face. This all made it that much harder to tell him you weren’t going.

“Hey, T. I think I’m just going to relax in here today. I’m tired and a bit sore.” You tried to give him a look of pleading, but he wasn’t having it.

“Nope. This is the first time in months that everyone is home and relaxing. We are all going to the pool and swimming, playing games, drinking a bit, and being together. That includes you, missy.” You pouted, but he then pushed himself into your room a little bit and held your hands in his. “Please, sweetheart? If you come out, we can do whatever you want to do tonight.”

You couldn’t object to that. So you rolled your eyes and sighed. He knew he had won, so he gently took your chin in his fingers and pulled you into a kiss. It was short and sweet. You both were smiling when you pulled away, his smile bigger than yours.

“Fine. Go ahead and start without me. I’ll meet everyone upstairs in 10 minutes. I need to find my bathing suit and coverup. They’re somewhere in the back of my dresser.”

“Don’t take too long, babe. Or I will come up here and drag you to the pool.” You both chuckled before he kissed you one more time and left. You shut the door and turned around to your dresser.

How the hell am I going to survive this?

~~~~~~~~

You were able to find your bathing suit and coverup after taking almost everything out of your bottom drawer. You don’t wear bathing suits often, so they just got shoved further into your dresser as time went on. Surprisingly they still fit pretty well and made you look bomb af. But you had to keep your cover up on and couldn’t really go into the pool or be in the sun for too long. The most you went in was sitting on the edge and having your feet in. The team respected that, and just appreciated you coming out with them.

It was about 30 minutes in and you were sitting on the edge with Natasha while Steve, Sam, Wanda, and Bucky all swam in front of you. The group of you talking about random things. Then Natasha changed the topic.

“How about we play chicken?” She got a nod of approval from the super soldiers before looking at you. “You in, (Y/N/N)?”

“Nah. I’m just gonna chill here. Not really comfortable with that game.” Thank god Wanda spoke up.

“I’ll play. You just gotta teach me first!”

The four of them went to the center of the pool while Sam swam up closer and put his arms along the edge of the pool and kept talking to you. You two were super close friends, but you couldn’t help but notice the subtle flirting he tossed in.

You thought it was subtle, but apparently it had been obvious to Tony. He was at the bar with Bruce and Rhodey, the only two people who knew about you and Tony from almost day one. You trusted them and knew that they wouldn’t say anything or else they not only had Tony to deal with, but also you.

“Looks like Sam is getting real close to (Y/N).” Rhodey said, knowing it would push Tony’s buttons a little harder. Tony threw Rhodey a sort of thankful look.

“So I’m not the only one noticing it. Good.” He took another sip of his drink before continuing. “I’m gonna go join their conversation. I’ll see you guys later.” Tony made his way to you as the two men chuckled at their friend.

You saw Tony looking at you and Sam earlier, but you hadn’t seen him get up and end up sitting right next to you. So when he sat down and spoke up, you jumped a bit.

“Mind if I join in?” Tony said in a voice that only you could decipher. It sounded normal to everyone else, but you could tell that there was some jealousy behind it. Tony then hopped in and was in between you and Sam. You chuckle a bit and look at him over your sunglasses.

The three of you talk and watch part of the team playing chicken. In the end, Natasha and Steve won. Once they all settled down from the game, everyone kind of hung out near the edge of pool where you, Tony, and Sam were. Tony sat up next to you to make room for more people in the water near you guys.

Everyone was having their own little conversations when Tony’s voice makes everyone listen in.

“So, (Y/N/N), you gonna tell us why you aren’t in the water completely?” Even behind his sunglasses, you could tell that Tony was giving you a look of pure curiosity. You had never really been like this around pools. You usually swam and played chicken and such.

You sat there in a bit of a panic. Just breathe. They won’t freak out over this. There is no real way out of this without showing them right now. Just go for it. With a deep breath in, you spoke.

“Well, I can’t really swim in chlorinated water with my birthday present to myself being recently finished.” And with that, you took off your swim suit cover up to reveal a very large tattoo that is all over your left side.

It starts on the back of your left rib, wraps around, and ends a little above your left hip. It was all flowers that represented things throughout your life. So you had sunflowers for your sister, white peonies for your brother, and a few others. You had just gotten the okay to take the plastic bandage off of the lower section that you had done recently, but it still ached.

“So I can’t do a lot until this big boy heals completely. I have been going in twice a week for two weeks to get this finished. My first appointment was two weeks ago, the day after my birthday, and my last appointment was yesterday.” You look at Tony. “That’s why I said I was sore and didn’t really want to come to this party. But then I thought I would regret not spending time with the rest of the team.”

Everyone was silent for a few seconds before taking turns taking closer looks at the whole piece. After a few minutes of talking about tattoos and such, Wanda speaks up.

“As much as (Y/N)’s tattoo is badass and looks amazing, I want a rematch in that chicken game. Steve, Tash, Bucky - You in?”

The four of them quickly swam back to the center of the pool and began their rematch. The others that were around you went off and did their own things or got up to get drinks and snacks. Then it was just you and Tony. It was his turn to look at your tattoo. You lean a bit so he can really see it and a good angle.

“So this is where you’ve been going for a couple of weeks. I was getting worried that you were with someone else.” He said half joking. You could tell that he tried to make it a joke but was serious about it too.

“No! You know I love you, even if we haven’t told the team about us yet.” You both smile at each other. Then Tony slyly takes your hand in his, kind of pondering something for a few seconds before intertwining his fingers with yours.

“Why not let them know? It’s about time they found out.” You smiled even bigger and giggled a bit. Then you remembered you had to show him something. Undoing your fingers from his, you looked at him with excitement written all over.

“Oh! I forgot to show you this! Well, I didn’t want to point it out in front of everyone cause it would raise questions, but I’m sure a few of them noticed this. I had my tattoo artist add in another small detail for me that I think you’ll like.”

You looked down to find what you were looking for before pointing to it. It was a flower that was an ombre of yellow near the center to red on the ends of the petals, the same color as Tony’s suit. But then you pointed closer to the middle. The center was blue and looked like a natural version of his arch reactor. Tony looks at it and realizes the symbolism. He is amazed and reaches out to kind of brush his fingers over it, but you recoiled and hissed in a bit. He instantly shot his eyes to you and started to apologize.

“No! You’re fine, T. It’s just that that was part of the last section I got done yesterday, so it still hurts a bit to the touch.” He apologizes again and just puts his hand on the small of your back. Still facing you, he smiles while his eyes go from your face to your lips to your tattoo and then back to your face. He was thinking.

“What’s going on in that mind of yours, Shellhead?” He chuckled at your nickname for him. He always thought you were clever.

“Well, I’m debating on fighting myself and waiting for later, or saying fuck it.” You were confused. This answer didn’t make anything clearer.

“What in particular are you–”

“Ah fuck it.” While you were in the middle of asking your question, Tony spoke over you a little bit and then leaned in to kiss you. You gladly kissed back after letting out a small noise of surprise. It was a nice kiss, nothing too big, but big enough for your first kiss in public.

Your kiss was interrupted when you jumped at the voices of the team hooting and hollering. You blush and kind of hide your face in Tony’s shoulder. Both of you are laughing until Tony speaks up.

“Alright alright, mind your own damn business. Go back to chicken or whatever the heck you were doing.” The team did so but definitely kept catching glimpses of you and Tony.

You look back at Tony and he wraps his arm around your shoulders while you lean into him. Something you didn’t think you would do in public for awhile.

“Well, that was certainly one way of telling them about us. But how are we going to break it to them that we’ve been keeping this a secret for a little under a year?” You were honestly a bit nervous about that. You look up at Tony and he is just watching the rest of them relaxing while he spoke to you.

“We’ll deal with that at dinner. I have a feeling they’re going to ask for all the details then anyways.” He looks down and sees that you are worried about it. “Hey, it’ll be okay. I promise.”

You just take a deep breath and smile back at him. He leans down and kisses you again. A few of your friends hollered again. You both smiled into your kiss but didn’t break it. Instead, you threw them a middle finger. Sam laughed the loudest.

“Yep. Look at that! They’re perfect for each other!” You end up breaking the kiss then because you and Tony laugh at that.

It seemed like the team would be accepting of your relationship with Tony. Your relationship certainly felt as close to perfect as you could get.

Tags: @goodnightwife , @feelmyroarrrr @theeactress

[essentiallychaotic]

85 statements R U L E S : you must answer these eighty five statements and tag twenty people I was tagged by the always wonderful @acynicandanidealist​ ^-^ (also sorry if this has been tagged for a bit, my tumblr didn’t tell me so if I’m doing this weirdly late whoops :/ ) I would like to tag: @skittles-pixie​, @pacificjim​, @khanleesi​, @keepingkaya​, @astreana​, @elfiethewicked​, @bleustocking​, @cuemypulse​, @wingleader​, @lokidiabolus​, @scribbly-wibbly-stuff​, @stenchy-wench​, @universalhouseplant​, @shalanos​, @nancysinatras​, @dragonsdawn​, @hungry-angry-lyingdown​, @horaetio​, @inktaire​, @pntmrcys​, aanndd anyone else who wants to do it!

Also sorry if the formatting is wonky, I’m on mobile. Part 1: the last: drink: Water, I have this like quart mason jar with a drink lid, cause I’m one of those people I guess :P phone call: I talked to my Dad this afternoon text message: Uummm… I had to go check haha, it was Cece song you listened to: Probably something by David Bowie this morning (followed by me wandering around the house just singing his name, just repeated dramatic “Bowie!” My dogs loved it) Ooo unless movies count, then whatever is the credits song for the new Ghostbusters :D time you cried: I cried cutting up shallots tonight… other than that idk… I cried during Wonder Woman, seeing my childhood hero portrayed so perfectly was emotional Part 2: Ever: dated someone twice: Like gone on two dates? Yes. I think I’ve gone on two dates (technically three) with two different people. I don’t really date much tho, it takes so much time and college is a lot of work kissed someone and regretted it: Nah, I’ve learned something about how people are every time, hard to regret useful life lessons been cheated on: That involves a relationship so no lost someone special: No one that has passed away, but last fall I had to realise that a friendship had turned really toxic and was impacting my stress and health, which was really hard because she was very important to me, and losing that friendship has been a point of pain this year been depressed: Yes, I’ve just gotten to the point in the last two years where I am able to manage it and not let my depression or anxiety impact my life. I’m really lucky that I don’t have to take meds for it, mainly because I’m super forgetful and never remember to take any pills I’ve ever had gotten drunk and thrown up: Yes and I don’t recommend it. It’s very not fun Part 3: Favourite colours: Green, blue, brown, gold, and red Part 4: In the last year have you: made new friends: I have, and they are all wonderful people fallen out of love: Nope laughed until you cried: I think I have, but even if I haven’t actually cried I’ve gotten close, I’m blessed with wonderfully funny people and pets in my life ^-^ found out someone was talking about you: Yeah my professors, apparently it was nice things but it still freaks me out when they casually are just like “oh that reminds me, we were talking about you at the meeting the other day…” met someone who changed you: Maybe more of met people who affirmed my belief that people can be good and kind and caring, and that I should keep working to be present in the kind and caring parts of myself (cause boy did I used to be bitter and grumpy) found out who your friends are: I feel like this is that “when times get tough you’ll find who your REAL friends are” kinda thing… which I don’t really put a lot of stock in because I think awareness of who people are and where they are at is important in respecting them as individuals… I did lose a couple of friends in the whole big ending toxic friendship thing, but I kinda saw those coming and there’s no hard feelings kissed someone on your facebook list: Nope Part 5: General: how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: I have met them all in real life but one. He and his friends were drunk and at the same hostel as my friend when she was on the phone with me and he asked her if he could talk to her friend and it was hilarious and he added me on facebook do you have any pets: Two puppies do you want to change your name: Nah, my name means born of fire, and I kinda like that… plus it also is connected to my mom’s name in a weird, circuitous way and I like that too what did you do for your last birthday: I had class and work, and then planned on meeting up with friends for our usual pub-and-board-games night and they surprised me with cheesecake and those candles that relight themselves… it was a fun night :) what time did you wake up: 9am-ish what were you doing at midnight last night: Playing with my phone I think… reading something on Ao3 name something you can’t wait for: I start grad school in Belfast this fall, so I’m really excited and also crazy nervous about that when was the last time you saw your mom: A couple of hours ago when we were watching Ghostbusters (I love that movie, Melissa McCarthy is my hero) what are you listening to right now: Silence. Also my dog licking her paws. Everyone here is asleep. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah, remember that one random friend on facebook? His name was Tom… there are probably other from college but I’m drawing a blank something that is getting on your nerves: Just… just so much of the social inequality and how badly our social system fails people who need support… and the fact that their voices aren’t respected and sought out when it comes to telling their stories, like what is that??? most visited website: Ummm… tumblr, gmail, facebook, and my grad school’s website are probs all really close rn hair colour: Natural is a mediumish darker brown colour… currently it’s a brownish/purple colour bc I dyed it months ago and just let it fade long or short hair: Shoulder length, so longish? It makes it easier to control my curls and make them feel fun do you have a crush on someone: Nope what do you like about yourself: Aahhh…. I like to think I’m fun to hang out with I guess… I’m that person whose like “let’s go on an adventure!” And then drags friends to walmart at midnight before walking around campus piercings: I have my ears pierced, and my nose. I used to have my septum pierced too but I took it out. blood type: B positive nickname: Mack or Kenzi relationship status: Happily single, dating takes work and always feels like I’m trying to present this nice and shiny version of myself…. anyone else feel that? zodiac: Aries pronouns: She/Her favourite tv show: Gilmore Girls gets my soul, but Stargate Atlantis is right there too tattoos: Tribalesque (i don’t know any other way to describe it) Celtic woman on one shoulder blade, Celtic tree of life on the other, I have the words “hope is a thing with feathers” (Emily Dickinson) on my left forearm, two black bands around my right forearm, three dots on my right hand ring finger, and this three dots, three lines celtic symbol on my left ring finger (those last two were done in my dorm room last year by friends). I’m also about to get a rose on my right forearm and my bro and I are going to get small sibling tattoos right or left handed: Right, but I can kinda write with my left bc in elementary school this kid in my class broke their dominant arm and it freaked me out bc if that happened to me I wouldn’t be able to do my schoolwork so I practised writing with my left hand. (I can also write so it’s perfectly backwards like a mirrored image bc I used to get bored in class sometimes) piercing: Yup. sport: I watch soccer and baseball, but I don’t play anything (Sleep break and also tired of fighting with mobile yaaayyy) vacation: Oooohhh anyplace with marvellous culture and history really. But I’d love to go to Paris or Rome. pair of trainers: Do converse count? Part 6: more general : eating: All food is wonderful but I love my dad’s bigos stew. drinking: Water with lemon in it. Or coffee and tea I’m about to: Finish watching Ladies in Lavender then go to bed. 

waiting for: Grad school to start this fall. (See: also slightly nervous about starting) want: To see the David Bowie exhibit in Seattle. get married: If I find the right person. I want something lowkey and fun tho, like a party that happens to have a wedding at it haha. career: I dunno, I’m looking at college professor/author right now. Or just switching gears and pursuing musical theatre haha. hugs or kisses: I like hugs more, but not when people just surprise me with them. lips or eyes: Always eyes. shorter or taller: I’m 5'9" so I guess taller…? older or younger: I am 24 sooo I feel older but really that’s quite young in the grand scheme of things. nice arms or nice stomach: I gotta be real I love nice biceps. hook up or relationship: Relationship. troublemaker or hesitant: Depends on my mood and the situation. kissed a stranger: Yup. drank hard liquor: Yeppers, quite a bit actually. lost glasses or contact lenses: I misplace my glasses around the house all of the time but not actually lost them yet thank goodness. turned someone down: Yes. sex on the first date: Not my scene. broken someone’s heart: I really hope I haven’t, but I feel like I might have. had your heart broken: Only platonically by friendships that went south been arrested: Nope, and I hope to keep it that way haha. cried when someone died: I’ve yet to have someone I know personally die, and I hope it’s a long way off still. fallen for a friend: I have friends that I was attracted to at the start of our friendship, but never really fallen for them no. Part 7: do you believe in: yourself: I do now, but it took several years. miracles: I do, but I also think they’re not quite what we describe for them in our cultural narratives . love at first sight: No, love involves seeing people clearly and unconditionally caring for them. I think we can have connection at first sight but not love really. Santa Claus: I believe that Santa Clause is the spirit of Christmas and a wonderful way to see good in the world. kiss on the first date: Depends. But normally no. I did have a first date that ended in a firm handshake. That was interesting. He was also the one who on our second date listened to me explain the beowulf text narrative arc for St Christopher and was genuinely interested so… angels: I am definitely open to the possibility. Part 8: Other: current best friend’s name: Cece is my bae. eye colour: Green. Favourite movie: Reality Bites or Pride and Prejudice