Ghost hcs mostly him having autism
Has compression socks and gloves bc they help keep him regulated, but he HATES tight clothing anywhere else. He strictly wears loose and baggy clothing, like oversized hoodies
Hates flavored water unless it's tea. Green tea? Sure. Any kind of sparkling water? Nuh uh
Likes mud and rain puddles. Don't ask me why
Can't stand the smell of coffee in the morning, it overwhelms him. He can and will leave the room if someone just made coffee
Doesn't like hugs, or really just being touched in general. (Mostly due to trauma, but the autism isn't helping either)
That being said, when he does get hugged, he prefers it to be firm. Heavy knuckles running up and down his back is the quickest way to make him melt in your arms. Soap is the only one allowed to do this, but Price and Gaz will very occasionally be offered one of those awkward one-armed half hugs if they need one.
He masks most of the time (literally and figuratively) so it's not very obvious that he's autistic from first glance. If he's comfortable with the people around him, or if he's alone, he might stim
He does jazz hands as a stim, and can occasionally be found tiptoe walking
He also knocks his knuckles together and rasps them on desks. He likes the noise.
He prefers rough or smooth textures over soft/fluffy ones. Denim, mesh, leather, linen, and polyester are the only fabric types he'll be comfortable in.
He keeps his hair buzzed, not just because he's in the military, but because he pulls on it and ends up tearing it out of his head when he gets sensory overload from it touching his face (me too bro, me too)
He listens to metal songs on max volume when he's sensory seeking (you can hear that shit through his headphones)
He doesn't like having things in his ears, so he prefers headphones over earbuds. He won't complain if he has to use earbuds though.
Surprisingly enough, he can't stand weighted blankets. Unless that weighted blanket is Soap 😏
He gets aggressive when he's excited, so he'll often go to the gym to blow off some steam. Rookies see him going to town on a punching bag and assume he's pissed, but really he just doesn't know how else to express his feelings.
He hyperfixated on komodo dragons for a while (he now has several random facts in his arsenal)
His special interest is weapons. Any kind, he just thinks they're interesting. Especially crossbows. (He knows just about every weapon under the sun, ask him literally anything)
He steals Soap's phone to play neko atsume (he has become emotionally attached to the cats, but you didn't hear me say that)
He prefers to sleep with blankets under him instead of on top because it makes his skin crawl if they're not the right texture.
He's always cold but radiates heat like a motherfucker, definitely has an electric blanket at his place
He has a favorite pen that he carries everywhere, refuses to use anything else.
He eats the most random food combinations. Tomatoes with sour cream? Delicious. Avocados with cream cheese? Absolutely divine. A normal fucking sandwich? Hell no.
He struggles with hygiene but hates feeling dirty. He'll often force himself to shower even when he knows it'll drain his energy.
He has to buy a specific type of eyeblack because of the texture. He doesn't like any kind that feels too greasy. Not that it'll stop him from wearing it if that's all that's available, but he won't be happy about it.
He used to bite his hands as a kid. Hard. He has a few small scars because of it
He enjoys heavy bass. He likes low rumbling/knocking noises. He may or may not be considering buying a bass drum...
Alternates between sleeping in a hammock and a bed at his place
Loves chairs that spin, though you'd never catch him spinning 😔
Everything he says sounds sarcastic, even when he's being genuine. This has caused many people to get annoyed with him.
He tends to grind his teeth, so he chews on tree bark to keep his mouth busy
He used to climb trees as a kid because he liked the way the wind felt from up high in the leaves
He isn't a fan of the way paper feels. That being said, He loves old books. He spends most of his downtime at the library since it's quiet and peaceful, plus it gives him a way to get out of the house and busy himself.
He still wears a mask off duty for many reasons. For starters, he's never been the best at facial reactions. He thinks it's easier to just hide it altogether than to try and contort his face into the "appropriate" reaction. Secondly, he has stims and occasional tics where his mouth moves, and he doesn't want people to stare. (Snapping his mouth like a shark... so real to me) Also, he just thinks it should be common practice. He's never understood why people don't cover their mouth and nose, or at the very least cover it when they cough/sneeze.
He will actually fan the air in front of him if someone he doesn't like just walked by. He doesn't want to breathe "their air". (Graves was very confused as to why Ghost kept waving the air every time he walked by)
He wears sunglasses in public, regardless of whether or not it's sunny out. He just doesn't want to have to make eye contact with people if he doesn't have to. He can make eye contact, but he much prefers not to.
He punches his legs or the walls when overstimulated.
He has dromophobia (fear of crossing streets) and tends to speedwalk across roads
Has the biggest vocabulary known to man because he used to read dictionaries as a kid. (He can and will abuse this power when someone is annoying him)
Prefers non-fiction. That's it.
He cleans doorknobs daily. He specifically keeps a pack of wipes with him to clean doorknobs- who the fuck knows when they were cleaned last. He can't stand the idea of touching something that dozens, if not hundreds of people (who may or may not have washed their hands) have touched prior.
His favorite color is orange. He always avoids touching anything orange because he's worried he'll ruin it somehow.
He washes his hands before and after everything he does (when he can)
He has a crowbar. He keeps it beside his bed, and he's very fond of it.
He can stay completely still for concerningly long amounts of time. Useful for missions, unnerving the rest of the time. Can and will be seen in the corner of a room staring at people.
@waiting-so-long I'm so glad someone wanted to hear my nonsense lmao
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I keep thinking about how I met this person thinking they were a good unselfish person only to discover the complete opposite and just feeling disappointed in not being able to see that before… it’s just wild for my brain
I don’t know if that’s necessarily a healthy way to frame it. Not saying you’re wrong in your assessment—I have no context of what you’re actually referring to—but generally speaking I think we fall into the trap of dehumanizing people to a fault when we’re hurt. I feel like it’s less that people are those one-dimensional, inherently awful, irredeemable caricatures and more that maybe two people crossed paths at a time they weren’t ready to cross paths yet. Maybe you were confident and assertive and unwilling to dim yourself, and that brought out their insecurities and forced them to confront questions about themselves they weren’t ready to answer yet. Maybe they didn’t have the best emotional regulation to begin with and couldn’t factor your own emotions into the equation. Maybe they had a rough situation at home. This isn’t an excuse for anyone’s shitty behavior, but it’s an exercise in empathy that’s required in any kind of relationship.
It does suck to find out someone isn’t who you thought they were. I’ve been there so many times. But if they really were this horrendous character, then they’re just become another lesson for you to refer to whenever you’re vetting people. They’re another data point to draw on whenever you’re deciding whether you’ll invest in someone or not. And the more people you experience, the more you’ll realize that people tell you who they are in little ways all the fucking time. I’ve historically given people more grace than I likely should’ve, but even then no one was so good at masking that I wasn’t on to them in some capacity. It’s at that point that you kind of have to ask “do I want to keep going w this, or am I at a place where I want someone who’s a little more able to meet me where I am?” and sometimes it’s good to drop it and sometimes it’s good to pursue it and see where it goes. People are so unique and individual that there’s no one size fits all for this kind of thing. That’s something for you to gauge.
If ultimately you do have a horrible experience w someone, I don’t think holding on to the anger is healthy. Some people do feed off of that and get off of it and validate themselves w it, but I think that’s a juvenile mindset that needs to be left back in middle school. For me I just go through that person’s rationale for doing what they did, however imperfect that rationale is, accept that it happened, and then just move on w my life. You can call that a form of forgiveness, but I see it less as forgiving someone and more as making peace w them (and w the situation itself) for my own benefit. It doesn’t have to involve actually speaking to the other person. It doesn’t have to involve confronting them or seeking them out for closure. It could just be you, by yourself, coming to terms w what happened, drawing your own private conclusions. It really is so powerful to realize you could give yourself closure, without being at the mercy of someone who may or may not grant it to you.
That to me has always been superior to burning energy holding on to petty grudges that don’t go anywhere. You want to always navigate things like this w your limited time on this earth in mind & where you wanna put it—and moving on faster gives you the ability to try again w the next person, rather than drive yourself crazy agonizing over someone who’s no longer in your life. Choosing to dwell in negativity harms no one but you in the end. Respect your time, make peace w what happened, and let it go.
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