#and i was just asking what ur living situation was bc i felt like. hm. being told i’m awful for struggling during my dads death is a lot

[lilgynt]

naturally i’m gonna be very upset at 6:09 am after an all-nighter over my brother and his actions

[another-dra-anew]

Higa (- definitely someone you don't know yes yes)

I GENUINELY HOPE CANON HIGA EXPLODES I NEED TO PUT THIS DISCLAIMER UP. AAAA

anyways. nothing i can think to cw for/have been asked to cw for iirc? mentions of higas favorite hobby (committing hate crimes) but that’s abt all.

- My identity hc for them

homophobic homosexual. there’s nothing more to say- wait. sorry. he took the wrong red pill noooo higa no!!! okay now there’s nothing else to say

- Thoughts on their home life/family

now we start the fun game of how do i chat about my kids without spoiling things… ya know. okay. i think his paternal grandparents are actually p chill they’re just not even remotely involved bc they live vv far away. they’re a bit upset with tatsunori for never updating them. higa used to send them tickets to all his Big games but then he overheard them joking with tatsunori about how they were always traveling home just to travel back out again. so. he doesn’t send them tickets as often now

- How i feel about their canonical writing/handling

i think in a lot of early posts i wasn’t confident enough in my writing to make higa more of… a actual Issue? he was kinda just a dick who got shut down quick by everyone. so i need to go back and fix that. need to show his actions are like. Very Bad, and he def faces consequences.

- The one thing i’d want to make canon about them

uhh. well. u see. im kinda writing beta so. the only thing i can really think of is like… making canon “if (x) had happened to higa instead of (y), then he would’ve turned out like (z)”, since i can’t reallyyy… get into backstory changes like that? 

- My number one favorite ship for them

i think non despair red pill is fun!! (specify non despair because the kg isn’t really the best time for higas personal growth, which is smthn red pill kinda hinges on)- SORRY PEOPLE WHO ARENT IN THE SERVER? i don’t remember if this joke has breached contamination or not. red pill is yamaguchi/higa. 

especially in non despair (since side stepping away from others isn’t really a option in the game + kinda makes people feel homicidal), they both wind up kinda isolated/on the fringes of group interactions because they’re not just. abrasive but they say shit that actually feeds into negative stereotypes. so people r a bit. steps away from them. so should they both get the chance to grow and change they can bond over how hard it is to try and integrate into a group u were excluded from because of like. ur own decisions hurting people in the group. 

- …Now everyone else i ship with them

higa keeps hate criming people it’s kinda. hard to ship him with people. that being said i think it’s silly to say he has a bit of a crush on maeda. cuz i promise u all maeda, at best, is 😐 at higa. i don’t ship them together but i think the idea of higa having a crush on maeda is funny. it’s definitely not canon tho i don’t write beta with that in mind

- The thing i will NEVER ship

see above. god damn it higa. (not that u can’t hurt people and genuinely change and grow. but like. yeah i think a lot of those ships have kinda sunk). 

- a dynamic/relationship i wish was explored more (in canon, or in fandom)

hmmmmm…. i’d honestly like to talk more about kobas feelings on higa? specifically within the context of the game where it’s like. obviously koba doesn’t want higa to FUCKING DIE but while he understands the situation and knows if he felt uncomfortable or unsafe, he could say so and higa would get booted out. i think he’s just not very happy with the fact that they have to tip toe around higas general evil-ness so that he doesnt go off the rails and like. try to work with monokuma. he’s choosing so much mercy and so much emotional maturity. and that’s what sucks about being confined to one pov character!!!

- thoughts on their design (appearance-wise)

maybe if i stopped giving higa fits that are so easy to clown on, he’d leave his villain era. hm. anyways!! lol sweater vest lol. i do genuinely like his design (been gently working on kobas fit recently and giving them more distinctive color palettes, so that’s fun), buuut yeah! tbh i don’t see it changing i don’t know where i’d go from here. i think it works v well ! :D

- A music-related thought- a song that reminds me of them, or what their music taste is, etc

had to Hunt to find one. but animal - sir chloe makes me think like. a song higa would listen to, then close out of halfway through and never listen to it again but be haunted by the Thoughts it made him Think. im not good at interpreting songs the way they’re meant to be interpreted. :(. sorry to everyone behind sir chloe. 

[plague-of-insomnia]

hm idk how ur gonna feel abt an ask like this but i do want to get smth off my chest & u seem p safe. feel free to delete if u want

i saw a post recently talking abt how "gay" got used as a slur a lot more than people acknowledge. and it got me thinking of my school years & how often it got thrown around.

thing is. and heres where my train of thought goes off the rails. i actually experienced the word "incest" as an attack more than the word "gay"... which. ill explain. but it really got me thinking on this whole purity culture & demonising of incest depicted in literature & yknow taking things too far with whats considered incest.

bc at the end of the day. the reason incest is illegal (mostly) is to prevent inbreeding & the health issues that come along with that. if ur not blood related then theres no problem.

and like. the reason i got called incestuous and generally ostracised was bc i was close with a boy in my year. like we dated for a week as 14 yros do. and at some point i discovered that hey. his last name is the same as my aunts and lo and behold hes my 2nd cousin thru marriage or smth. so. not incest at all.

anyway that p much ruined our friendship (& it was a friendship. i broke things off before i even knew we were related bc i just didnt feel the same way and we stayed friends for a little bit) all bc some kids couldnt let it go that we had the vaguest relation to each other. he got bullied for the rest of our school year & ive felt horribly guilty for leaving him bc i wanted to be "cool" & ended up without any close friends like we were.

sorry if thats a weird thing to put in ur inbox.

Hey, anon. I don't mind this ask. I hope you don't mind me replying publicly. (In future if you don't just say so.)

This post will be a bit long, so I'll go ahead and put it under a readmore.

TW for discussions of "gay" used in a negative way, and discussions of the use of the word "incest," and its association with child sexual abuse, though there's really nothing terribly bad here as I'm not going into detail on any of thse topics. (If you need something tagged, though, let me know.)

Now, I'm old as dirt by tumblr standards, and I remember VIVIDLY the word "gay" being used in a negative light. As a kid, I didn't really see it used as a "slur" per se, but it was used to mean something was bad.

Like, if you saw a movie that sucked, you'd say "Man, that movie was so gay." It meant something like "lame."

So obviously, it wasn't a good thing, and when I got a bit older and was explained why using the word was bad, I stopped, and fortunately most other kids did too and it mostly faded from use (in that sense) at least as far as I noticed.

(I'm not saying gay hasn't been used as a more nasty slur/word ofc, this is just my personal experience with it.)

Granted, keep in mind when I was in high school, our LGBTQ+ club was just the "Gay/Straight Alliance." Back then, it was basically, you were gay/lesbian, or you were an ally. We never talked about trans people or nonbinary people or ace/aro people. Ofc every one of those identities/kinds of people existed, but as far as my world went, they didn't. Most of my circle of friends was queer in some way, but many were closeted or semi-closeted for various reasons.

Anyway, sorry for that detour. Now, as to your incest situation. I'm sorry that happened to you. It definitely wasn't fair. You didn't have any way to know if you were related, and if/when you did it was "easy" to end the relationship. But kids are kids, and they always love to find a way to single people out, and they probably didn't really care what the actual truth was.

Even if you'd discovered having a similar name was total coincidence, I'm sure they'd still have bullied you for "incest."

I wasn't bullied for it, thankfully, but I did have a classmate in high school with the same last name as mine. My name is very common in some places, but where I lived at that time it was not, so everyone assumed we were fraternal twins. He was a nice enough guy, but I really didn't want people to think we were siblings. But no matter how many times we both explained we weren't related, no one believed us.

Sometimes, once someone makes their mind up about something, there's no changing it.

As for "abandoning" your friend because you didn't want to be left out and regretting it, I get that too. There was a guy I dated when I was around 16, and we were very passionate, but I think honestly I entered a major depressive episode and lost all interest in everything, including him, and... anyway, I regret how things ended between us even today, many, many years later. I wish I could shake my 16-year-old self and tell them not to be so cruel, but we can't change the past, only learn from it and move forward.

With regards to antis/purity culture taking incest so far, I do agree it has gotten ridiculous. As you said, the reason incest is taboo is because of inbreeding, because if your (general you) DNA is too closely related, you increase the chance of having major/significant diseases due to a lack of genetic diversity. But antis tend not to understand the WHY's behind things (since they also believe pedophilia is bad bc it's disgusting, and not because it hurts children, who become real grown adults).

But I have seen some really wild takes called incest. Like a ship from one fandom where the male and female characters are friends. A lot of people consider it "problematic" apparently, because they have a "sibling-like" relationship. They did not grow up together, they aren't related, and yet that's "incest" according to antis.

I do want to mention another reason that incest can/is considered so bad, and it's because, despite what antis may think, most sexual abuse of children comes from someone close to them in their lives, often a family member or close friend. So for a lot of people, when they think of "incest," they closely associate it with sexual abuse of a child. It's possible that's why antis get so upset about it. I don't know. But that is another aspect to it. (Ofc for you, in your past situation, you were both around the same age, so that's not the case, but that association is there.)

But, in the end, in fiction, it doesn't matter, because there are not actual children who can be conceived or harmed, and so the whole purpose behind why incest isn't allowed in many places in modern times doesn't exist.

I hope you're doing OK now, anon. Don't be to hard on yourself. A lot of people have done things when they were young teens they regret and wish they could "undo," but as long as you learned from that experience so you could become a better person than that 14-year-old version of you, I think you're doing OK.

Sending you some hugs. <3

[tellmewhatyouc]

any combo of Law/Cora/Doffy for both/either ship asks

ship ask memes: 1 | 2

gonna throw all this under a cut bc 1. spoilers and 2. people who do not vibe with these can just scroll on by easily

first off yes i ship all combinations oh my god

What made you ship it?

as soon as i knew there was some Fuckery going on between law and mingo, i was 👀 because i just. love whump esp law whump and god that dynamic is full of it

doflacora for similar reasons, like. it’s just plain fucked up and i knew i was gonna be into it before i even met roci. regardless of the label on their relationship, their whole dynamic is just So Terrible and Tragic and i am here for it. we love angst in this house

i had a feeling i’d ship coralaw before i even met roci, a couple of my friends were like “UR GONNA LOVE CORALAW” before i’d even read the flashbacks and they were CORRECT

and all three of them started JUST A TAD BIT out of spite bc people being like “this is Bad” or complaining about a ship just makes me curious (tho i actually really genuinely enjoy them aside from the spite and am trying to channel it into positive things instead of just getting upset over people being mean)

What are your favorite things about the ship?

doflaw: the HISTORY they have, it makes for such an interesting and fucky dynamic and i feel like a lot can be done with that

doflacora: just the terrible mess of mingo being this irredeemable villain yet his little brother still believes he can change and still cares about him and then he just fuckign kills him in cold blood and goD

coralaw: LAW GETTING THE HAPPINESS HE DESERVES

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

that they are all good and valid ships and i love them dearly <3

i’m gonna do the rest of the asks for coralaw bc that’s the only one that i could write in a remotely functional or healthy way here we goooo

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

How did they first meet?

oh there’s so many possibilities. i can Definitely fuck w an idea closer to canon where roci met law in the context of the family, maybe they left together and everything actually worked out okay, and once law got older they came to terms with their Feelings.

but i also like modern aus where they meet when law’s already an adult, like maybe roci works somewhere and law keeps coming back or he’s a teacher  or (like i enjoy with every law ship) they meet because roci is injured or smth and law has to do his Doctorly Duties

What was their first impression of each other?

god u know it was not great in canon

i like friends to lovers with them. or like. at least friendly acquaintances to lovers. they get along well (once law gets over,, maybe his initial impression that roci is just a clumsy dumbass) and the other Emotions come later

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

gjfkdg mingo is Not happy with the arrangement, though i’ve read a couple fics where the family dynamic is a little nicer and he encourages it and i’m into that too

Who felt romantic feelings first?

law definitely, maybe he didn’t realize what it was at first because he was just a little kid but it makes more sense as he grows up

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

YES <3 i am so here for the “oh god i’m old enough to be this persons father i Cannot be attracted to them” trope and that has so much potential with this ship (tho their age gap isn’t actually that big??? what is it like 13 years idk roci can still suffer)

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

i feel like law would be very >:( about the concept of soulmates and maybe roci would have a crisis but they’d work it out eventually

What would their lives be like if they had never met?

well uhhhh if u really think about it law would probably be dead and roci might be alive so. hm.

but i do think roci really like,,, Fixed law. like he showed him that there are in fact things worth living for, and even if they didn’t spend a Ton of time together, he still had a huge impact.

GENERAL

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

i feel like law would have to do it bc roci would be too concerned about overstepping boundaries

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

i don’t think it’s anything Official like they hang out anyway and then one day it just clicks

What was their first kiss like?

law initiating it in the heat of the moment

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

oh i love the idea of roci being law’s first Everything

What’s their height difference? Age difference?

ROCI’S SO FUCKING TALL but even i a modern au i’d probably put him at like 6′5″ or taller

and i think they’re 13 years apart yeah

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

sweats next question

Who takes the lead in social situations?

i think roci is def more friendly and extroverted so probably him

Who gets jealous easier?

i feel like both of them are pretty laid back?

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?

law,,,he likes to egg him on

LOVE

Who said “I love you” first?

roci for sure

What are their primary love languages?

in most law ships i like the idea that law shows love thru gifts, i think roci is just very affectionate but maybe also does the same

Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

roci and law HATES IT

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

law isn’t big on pda but sometimes he tolerates it

Who initiates kisses?

roci mostly

Who’s the big and little spoon?

law is the little spoon but sometimes roci is too

What are their favorite things to do together?

fuckin they like to cuddle and watch movies :’)

Who’s better at comforting the other?

roci is better at comforting law naturally

Who’s more protective?

roci,

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

law’s more verbal, roci is more physical

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

heart-shaped hologram gives me A LOT OF FEELINGS

also. for some reason i’m feelin in the best case scenario we’d die at the same time

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

not rlly a nickname but i like the idea that law is short for lawrence and roci calls him that sometimes and he HATES IT

also cora in itself is a nickname ig

Who remembers the little things?

hmmm i’d say they’re both pretty observant but maybe roci moreso

DOMESTIC LIFE

(taking out questions about marriage/kids bc i do not think so)

Do they have any pets?

i just wanna give everyone a cat

Who worries the most?

law probably, but roci worries about law so it all evens out

Who kills the bugs in the house?

law

How do they celebrate holidays?

mostly quiet celebrations at home

Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

law,

Who’s the better cook?

law, roci isn’t allowed in the kitchen after one too many burns and fires

Who likes to dance?

ROCI, law does not care for it

[bagilgulhaze]

Tw; suicide attempt, mental illness, suicide: I'm safe, everyone is safe, nothing happened currently or at any recent time. No danger, not about me.

I know I'm barely active on tumblr but after forever of not venting on social media, there is just no where like tumblr and its illusion of anonymity to do so. Like. Hm. I know many suicidal people in my life, you kmow, almost all people I know are mentally ill to varying degrees, I am mentally ill. I'm fortunate enough to rarely if ever feel suicidal I felt hopeless and self destructive and trapped. At height of my depression I felt like i understand why people commit suicide: because they really cant care about anything, and I got how they could do it. But I didnt want to do it, or seriously consider it, I just understood how ppl living lifetime like that without being able to see themselves ever get better for even moments, just . Going through life like that not like me temporarily do it.

My suicidal friends get actually suicidal not just like me, but I never felt concerned...for their life. I felt concerned for their well being, deeply, concerned that they are in a place where they want to die, where it's something they think about at all and sometimes think about a lot. Concerned that they are doing so badly mentally that they are constantly fighting suicidal thoughts to stay alive, but I knew, that unless something drastic changed with their life/support system/mental state, at least i was never worried about suicide I was worried they're suicidal.

And then theres my roommate :( and they're more than just my roommate, they really grew to be like, my family? They're an older sibling like, in every way but blood to me at this point, and we joke about everythinnnggggggg like everything like from their growing up in extreme poverty to like any of our mental illnesses and like whatever but with much love and never actual sting - and part of that is the fact that I know they are depressed/suicidal, even if not actively you know but, it is there. They couldnt finish lots of milestones due to paralyzing depression that didnt allow them to leave the house or even speak for a decade. But - literally. which is crazy because they're one of the smartest most educated & intelligent people I know and they never even finished highschool. So what there is to do but joke you know 🤷‍♀️ life sucked, we're here now, still struggling but vaguely better and very alive, most of the time (to both lol), so we genuinely support each other but we also banter - " shut up I'm gonna kill you!!!" "You keep promising.."

But the thing is, that this isnt the first time where it really hits me how close they were to actually committing suicide you know, I knew they were more serious about suicide than most of my suicidal friends but, it just, really hit me you know. The first time they told me about a suicide attempt they were drunk and it was very brief, making another point and also talking about something else, and I.. was really shaken. They didnt notice at the time because again, they were drunk (?) And I mean i didnt mind them talking, it just really effected me. But this time it caught me off guard again... they casually said something about moving somewhere, and I was like omg you wanted to move there I didnt know, and they were like yeah bc (but there was a friend over so they said nvm later lol) and then...I casually asked why they wanted to move and. They were like yeah bc I was planning to commit suicide and (their actual plan, not down to detail of the suicide they never say that clearly but you know, the atmosphere which would allow and how they prepared to it). And it's never said dramatically, or with more than a sentence or two but it just suddenly become so real. Like. I can see. I can see them planning to do it and I dont know how and I dont wanna know how hut I know that in at least one point in their life they knew exactly how, and if ambulance (and then police came too) wasnt involved it would have happened.

And then I think about one of my best friends who lost his ex roommate last year, she committed suicide and it really shook our community bc she was a major figure here. And he was only roommates with her for short period of time, and they were close, not as close as me and Jac are though. And ...of course, it was devastating to him, he didnt think it would really happen you know? Who does? He knee she is struggling we are all struggling and then it happened and then it was final and then it was too late. And I keep. Keep thinking in those moments. What if it will happen to me, what if I'll be in his place one day in the future what if things will go so wrong, and I'll be the one who lost her ex roomate but it will be so much worse because I'll lose my sibling/family...

This time they werent really drunk so... they figured I'm actually concerned and were like oh no dont...dont look like that I'm fine , shouldnt have said anything aw maya dont make that face etc. And they are. They are fine right now, and I'm not gonna make big deal out of this and I didnt I just kinda. Made a face and made a small joke u know and was like you're screwed bc if u had any plans you shouldn't have become my roommate bc now ur disallowed of dying: ever

.em k kwkkzkwls xanywayyy I'm fine nothing happened really those t hi bugs happened in the past and they're not in that place now. Medication is different life situation is different they improved ..a lot you know mentally. I just. Yeah

[frywen-babbles]

Sounds of Silence pt6

"They shouldn't send you messages like that. You've done nothing wrong."

"It's okay. It'll die out soon enough when they realise I won't make any of this public. I just want to move on with my life." She shoved some cake into her mouth before she continued. "Enough about me. How have you been?"

"Studying," he replied before he thought of something. "I'll visit mother tomorrow... I thought... maybe you'd..."

"I'd love to come. Just tell me when and where and I'll be there."

He nodded in response and took a sip of his tea. Why was the situation suddenly so... awkward. What did people talk about in dates... non-dates anyway?

"Um... What's the new job you got?"

"The same old. Shelving in a grocery store, just in a different one than before."

"That must be... interesting."

"Please, it's boring as fuck. But it's a job."

Mitsunari regarded her carefully. Once she had talked about wanting to become a teacher and he couldn't but wonder what had become of those dreams. Now she seemed content at working in a grocery store, her dreams seemingly forgotten. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but he remembered how fondly she had talked about her dream. Had she given up on it completely? She wouldn't, would she? He worked so hard to achieve his dream and proving himself it seemed almost unthinkable someone would just give up.

"Earth to Manju-boy, are you even paying attention to me?" Mitsunari was woken from his thoughts when she tapped his arm gently.

"Just thinking about my studies."

"How are they going anyways?"

*****

Miraculously, their non-date had ended well and way less awkwardly than he had feared. They had ended up talking about his studies for way longer than he had planned, but she hadn't seemed to mind.

He was just about to go to sleep when his phone blinged with a message.

<i wntd 2 apologise> <i hd no rght 2 b that mean 2 u>    <What do you mean?> <thse mssgs i swd u> <i thgt ud say th same> <thnk u> <it rly mns a lot ur on my side>    <Of course I am.>

She didn't reply so he put his phone down and closed his eyes ready to sleep. But just as he had drifted off his phone blinged with a new message waking him up.

<it tk me 2 long 2 admit wht ws gng on. nd aftr thn i wnted 2 stay bc i lved him. i blievd it ws nly once. twice. i thght if id jst chnge myslf he didnt hve any rson 2 gt angry at me. i trd so hrd 2 be the prfct wife i feel like i lost myself. Ths isnt how I thght my life wld be.> <im scred> <i have no1 I cn rely on> <im sorry im blathering u must be thinking abt ur mom> <i shldnt cmplain evrythng is fine im sry>    <No, it's okay. It's understandable to be scared.> <sry> <im jst so lost> <nd scard> <all of ths is nw 2 me> <we gt mrried whn i finishd hgh school. i rlied 2 hm on evrthng> <nd nw its jst all gne> <sry 2 nght evrthng jist cmes rshing dwn> <ill go 2 bed now night>    <Don't apologise. Being scared of the unknown is part of human nature.>    <Good night.>

***

The next day he waited for her in front of the hospital. He had come way too early so his thoughts turned into the previous day and to his... non-date. She had looked very pretty. Beautiful. He looked at his watch when he felt a light tap on his arm and turned around to find her standing next to him.

"Are you sure you want to come?" he asked.

"Of course! I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't want to."

Mitsunari sneaked into the first bathroom in the ward and a moment later when he emerged he expected her to laugh or... something. Instead, she looked at him earnestly, her expression serious.

"Are you ready?" she asked before she reached to straighten out a hair on his wig. He gave a firm nod before he headed out towards his mother's room.

"Mitsunari!" He stopped when he heard his name and sighed before he turned around to greet one of the nurses. "I see you brought your girlfriend today, how nice of you. Why haven't you told us before you have a girlfriend?" the nurse winked at him and he resisted the urge to either roll his eyes or facepalm.

"We're friends," he said at the same time she bowed.

"Thank you for taking care of Mitsunari," she said aloud. It was the first time Mitsunari had heard her speak. He missed completely when she introduced herself, his mind focused only on the sound of her voice, on the way she slowly pronounced each word, on the melody of her voice and he couldn't help but want to hear her voice again and again. He wanted to hear what she sounded like when she was happy, when she was excited, when she was sad. He felt selfish in his want, but still, he wanted her to show all sides of herself to him.

Mitsunari tugged on her arm and bowed to the nurse, repeating his earlier words of them being just friends, but it didn't wipe the knowing smile from the nurse's lips.

Just when he was about to knock on the door of his mother's room, he felt her take a hold of his hand and give it a firm squeeze. He held her hand a bit tighter too and knocked on the door.

"Mother? It's me, Saki."

"Saki! My beautiful, darling Saki!" He heard her voice before he saw her.

"Mother, I brought a friend with me." He stepped inside and gently pulled her in with him and introduced her.

"It is nice to meet you, Mrs Ishida." She bowed and his mother beamed at them. He didn't even remember when he had seen her looking so happy.

"I'm so happy Saki brought a friend with her! Come here, sit." His mother patted the bed beside her. She glanced at him and when he nodded she sat beside her.

"Thank you."

She paid close attention to his mother, turning every now and then to him for clarification. He felt like his mother recited every embarrassing thing he had ever done, his face burning hot with embarrassment under the makeup. A small (well, a big) consolation was hearing her laugh aloud, something he hadn't heard since the day after he had rescued her from her ex.

When his mother started to look tired he got up and nudged her arm.

"I think we should go now, mother. I'll come back soon."

"Please bring your lovely friend again too! It warms my heart to know you have such a good friend."

"I'll have to ask her..." he mumbled giving his mother a hug.

When he took her hand to lead her outside he could feel her hand tremble. He glanced at her, but her expression was a calm, calculated mask. As soon as they were outside of the door he let go of her hand.

"Your hands are trembling."

"You're imagining things," she replied with a smile which didn't quite reach her eyes.

"But-" he started, but was cut off when she turned away from him.

"Excuse me..." she hurried to the nearest bathroom leaving him to stare after her. He was still staring at the door when she emerged a moment later her eyes red and puffy.

“Sorry...” she forced a smile and as much as he wanted to ask, he decided not to pry was probably the best option.

“I’ll go change. We could... You could come for tea... if you want.” How did people ask others to hang out? It was apparent he was terrible at it.

“I’d love to.” This time the smile she gave him was genuine.

Their trip at his place was mostly filled with comfortable silence. She leaned against his shoulder on the train, dozing off every now and then. He concluded she must be tired but didn’t want to pry the reason why. She would tell him if she wanted to.

When they reached his apartment, Hideyoshi was already there, half asleep watching YouTube videos in the living room.

“Oh, heeey... I didn’t think you’d be back yet, you okay?” he mumbled waving his hand at his general direction without turning around.

“We came to make some food.”

“We? I thought you went to- oh hi!” Hideyoshi turned around to look at them and as soon as he saw her he waved at them awkwardly.

He laid over the handrest of the sofa looking at them while they unloaded the groceries and prepared the food.

Mitsunari sighed and turned to look at Hideyoshi, who had a bright smile on his lips as soon as he looked at him. “Do you want something? If you don’t, stop staring like a starved puppy. The mutt next door does a good enough job on that already without your help.”

"I thought you'd never ask me to join! It smells so good."

Hideyoshi made the table and they sat down to eat.

"So, what were you up today?" Hideyoshi asked filling his bowl with food.

"None of your business."

"So it was a secret date!"

Mitsunari was just about to reply when she coughed and reached for a glass of water her face starting to turn an adorable shade of red.

"Are you okay?" he asked her when she managed to gulp down some water her face still bright red.

"Why does Monkey think we went on a secret date?"

Mitsunari felt his cheeks start to burn out of embarrassment too, her embarrassment only increasing his own.

"I don't know! Stop inventing stupid nicknames to my friends."

"Shut it Manju-boy! You better tell Monkey-boy he has it all wrong. We are friends, nothing else."

Mitsunari translated her words to Hideyoshi who had been grinning knowingly at their mutual blushing, but he couldn't help the pang in his heart at her flat out refusal of them being on a date.

It must be so terrible to her to even think him as a man after what she had seen of him today. After all, she knew of him.

She would never see him in any other way than as a friend and realising that hurt way more than he thought it would. It hurt so much for a while he couldn't even think straight, yet alone be a part of the conversation.

"Mitsunari, did you hear what I said?" Hideyoshi's words brought him back to himself and when he glanced at her, even she was staring at him with a small frown between her (very beautiful) brows.

"No, my mind was elsewhere."

"In the gutter, I imagine?" Hideyoshi winked at him but all he could do was roll his eyes.

"You had *something* to say, so spit it out."

"Um, yeah, Nobu wants us to go play Wii next Sunday, why don't you two come too?"

"And he expects us just happily spend a Sunday dealing with utter torture?"

"There will be free food! Nothing beats free food."

"Fine..." he grumbled and turned to her, but her eyes were already sparkling. "A friend of ours wants us to go play Wii at his place on Sunday. Do you want to come?"

"Only if I get the promised free food you were talking about!"

***

The next Sunday they found themselves in front of a grand downtown building where Nobunaga's personal apartment was. She was staring at it her mouth agape.

"Your friend lives here?"

"Yeah."

"Wow..."

She held onto his sleeve when they entered the building, her eyes wide at the sight of the doorman and the security.

When the doors opened at the top floor she was stunned. He had to nearly drag her forward to meet their host.

Not that that went any better. As soon as she saw Nobunaga, she yanked at his sleeve until he was sure it would rip off.

"That's- that's O-da No-bu-na-ga!"

"I know. Now stop pulling my sleeve!"

"But... how?"

"Blame Hi-de-yo-shi, he always wants to drag me along..."

"Wait how does Monkey know him?"

He was about to reply when Nobunaga seemed to get bored of not being a part of the conversation.

"The least you could do was to introduce her."

As soon has he had managed to introduce her, Hideyoshi, who had come at the same time with them leant towards Nobunaga with a conspirational grin.

"You know, she's Mitsunari's 'special friend'"

"Oh, is she now?" Nobunaga had an amused smile on his lips when he eyed her.

"Stop making it sound so dirty," he huffed at them and took her hand to lead her away from the two men determined to misunderstand their relationship.

They found Hanbei huddled at a corner already, his nose deep in a book. He didn't pay any attention to them so they sat on the sofa next to him. She was tense, eying her surroundings like a caged animal before she turned to him.

"Just... how? You do know he's very famous, right?"

"Yes. But Hi-de-yo-shi keeps dragging me along every time..."

"You're playing Wii with the famous O-da No-bu-na-ga..." she repeated it to herself as if to make sure she understood correctly. Suddenly, she lifted her head and grasped his arm. "How did he know who I was?"

"It was him who offered to let you stay in the guestroom in the house. It's only used when someone in the Oda family has important guests over."

"Wait what? I thought that was where miss Oichi lives?"

"No, she was just staying over so you wouldn't have to be alone."

She buried her head in her hands for a while before she looked at him again, a hints of despair in her expression.

"How can I ever repay them?"

"You don't have to. Everyone wanted to help."

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

Even though it ate him alive he’d had to ask for their help there was no way he would tell her that. He would repay them as soon as possible.

The atmosphere relaxed as more people showed up. She didn’t leave his side until her gaze shifted to all of the snacks Nobunaga had brought out.

"What a nasty little piggy you have found for yourself."

There were people he’d be glad if he never had to see ever again. Tokugawa Ieyasu was one of them. Even the existence of him made Mitsunari’s skin crawl with disgust, let alone hearing whatever hideous thing he had to say. Why Nobunaga kept inviting the man was beyond him.

"Shut your mouth, filthy tanuki!" he spat back at Ieyasu, his eyes on her. She kept happily showing a snack after snack into her mouth until she glanced at him.

She froze, her eyes travelling from him to Hideyoshi and back at him.

"What happened?"

"It's nothing."

"Why won't you tell me?" She looked around the room, at everyone staring at them and she shrank back, averting her eyes to the floor. She made a quick bow and fled the room.

He followed her to the entrance hall, where she was desperately hitting the button to call the elevator, her face turned away from him so he couldn't see her expression. She cast a quick glance at him before she averted her eyes again and dug out her phone.

<i dnt blong hre ill jst go> <tll evry1 im sry>

The doors slid open and she took a step towards the elevator, but he took a hold of her arm to stop her. He needed... wanted to know what was wrong with her. Why did she suddenly decide to run away from him.

She froze, standing completely still. He slowly let go of her arm and she quickly hugged herself. He was at loss at what to do. He followed her to the elevator, but she kept her eyes on the door, completely ignoring his presence.

Had he done something wrong? If he had, he had no idea what it might be or why had she reacted the way she had.

When they reached the ground floor he followed her out of the elevator but reached for her arm again, this time just to gently touch her. She turned to look at him, tears glistening on her cheeks, but she quickly wiped them away, her lips pursed to stop the quiver of her lower lip.

"What happened?" he asked. She took her phone and fiddled with it for a moment and soon he heard his phone alert him of a new message.

<i dnt blng>

She turned around to walk out of the door, but he reached for her again.

"What do you mean? Explain." She was just about to look at her phone again when he tapped on her arm again. "Talk to me."

She turned her head away from him and he was just about to reach for her arm again when the security guard interrupted them.

"Is everything alrigh, miss?" he asked. She jumped a bit and looked at his face, a small frown between her brows.

"...sorry...?" she whispered.

"Is everything alright, miss? Is this man bothering you? Do you need a taxi to get you home?"

"Thank you, we're fine," Mitsunari interrupted.

"I was talking to the young lady, sir." The security guard gave him a stern look. She looked from him to the security guard, her expression guarded.

"...fine... no... taxi..." she mumbled.

"Could we talk somewhere a bit more private?" Mitsunari asked the security guard, who pointed them at a bench at the side of the entrance hall, hidden from the view by a large plant. He guided her to sit down and sat next to her touching her hand gently to get her to look at him.

"Talk to me, please?"

"This... everything was a bad idea. I should have listened to Yoshi, I’ll never fit in..."

@masamunesmistress @han-pan @you-mass-effect-my-dragon-age @honeybeelily @dreamfar628

[theday]

tagged by @ikyh and @younghyuuns ill be doing both sets !! :D thank you both for tagging me!! this got long so yall dont hav 2 read <3

ru?? rushee’s set!! me: wow ru does not sound like rushee at all ? djsjdhhjd im dumb but i realize now

i. do u believe in astrology? whats ur sign and do u line up with the features usually attributed to it?

fucc... i guess i do ;-0...... and yeah i think?????? like they say capricorns are cold bitches and funny nd im like ya thats me... but they also say we’re hard workers and im like uh.. dont know abt that karen !

ii. what’s ur favorite pair of socks?

bbbbbbb..... socks huh...... i guess my ankle ones? there are also socks that have actual designs on them and those r usually thicker.. keep my feets safe! most of them have pkmn designs bc.. yeah... love the poke mans

iii. what’s a food that reminds you of a specific moment/memory?

i could think of anythiing and get reminded of one situation if that makes sense.. but i thought of pineapple..pizza... anyway the memory isnt anythngn special its just me staring at my delicious hawaiian pizza..... at my favourite pizza place.... love that shit

iv. what’s the longest you’ve gone without sleeping?

i dont have the actual hours but the latest ive stayed up.. like willingly would be until 2am

v. how has ur taste in music changed throughout ur life?

went from 1d to 5so/s + other bands to utaite.... they cover vocaloid songs ig i never kno how2 explain what utaites r then 2 kpop.. but i still listen 2 bands + kpop and utaites.... so nothing much has changed ive just gone broader.. wider... expanded my tastes... 

vi. who’s ur fashion icon?

oh definitely kim wonpil

vii. what’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done without realizing?

i breathe dumbass particles.. i cant think of one bc my brain probably blocked off all access to my horrifying past but ive been thinking abt how i used 2 send the boy i used 2 like 1d songs....................... 12 y/o old me rly thought. he’d listen.... 12 y/o me thought spamming him was a good idea glad ive learnt from that! 

viii. what’s something you want to brag about?

my grades but it didnt get me into psychology so nvm ! its still good though i didnt expect to get an A1 (hghest grade) for combined humanities since ive had a B my whole life without it i wouldnt be able to move on education wise lmao so thank god for that thanks cambridge thanks bell curve sunbaenim 

ix. when you imagine urself being happy in the future, where exactly are you (like the location!)?

oh definitely an apartment somewhere where its always windy and the curtains are always Moving and the sun just Shines in the room but its not that hot either its just full of warmth and yeah thats the dream maybe also walks in the park without having 2 worry abt sweating my pits out u kno! tldr anywhere but here

x. what’s something you’ve always wanted to own?

let me Think.... i dont need a lot/?? but id love hm.............. i want stability but realistically i want all the hh pcs from the code albums. 

xi. how’ve you been lately?

good good! i finished my *** fic and its. im proud of it though i know its not that good nd i can do better but its done ! and hm i could be going to see mx but asking my mum is stressing me out speaking of her she wont stop Coughing and she refuses to see the doctor ;-/ love those sleepless nights ! other than that i just want 2 get out and feel the sun ???/ wanna get out of this house yea but i need to be.. shady with my money i cant get a job because school is starting in a month and im going overseas again sometime next month so ! no ones gonna hire someone who can only work for 2 weeks at most dhzjhhs shouldve worked when i had the time dumbasses only

ok now falen

1. what’s been on your mind??

hm redacted feeling towards my mum but i cant say them bc itd be insensitive 

2. what are you looking forward to? 

mx? possibly but also finishing my enrolment papers

3. story time!: how and when did you get into day6!!!!!

fuck...... listen up LADS. 

ive told the same story like 10 times but im never gonna get tired of saying this shit bc i love miss boxy so much nd she deserves the appreciation anywy she introduced me 2 day6 after i saw this one (1) picture of brian in minion glasses and instantly i knew in that Fucking moment thatd id die for him. so i asked for the name of my murderer and was introduced to day6 whom frankly id never heard of b4 bdjhjh she sent me all their mvs and i still remember the night . i remember walking out of this japanese restaurant, twitter open, chat wiht boxy there and i was like.. interesting ill go listen when im home so i Did! and my mind was blown away bitch? i honest 2 god expected them to be a boy group,,, dancing and shit yknow? i didnt know k bands existed ! so as a previous 5/sos stan i was like wow. this??? this shit is 10/10 a fucking BANGER thats what i felt listening 2 i smile and just going :O over the fucking instruments so idk if how can i say was the last or second song but Damn. .. it made me scream thanks mister j** he rly dragged me by the collar of my shirt and threw me face first into Heaven so i watched everything i asked my friend for video recommendations and after boxy sent me a page with their face and names i was like this jae kid is 182 cm? wow gotta stan now im stupid and stupid for glasses and tall people so ! it happened bithc,, ugh i lov eday6 so much i remember binge watchng all their vlives after the july after party live (that being the first vlive i watched Ever in my entire life and i laghed so hard despite not understanding a damn thing) please id giv my heart and soul2 day6 im so happy with the way ive progressed as a myday :^( 

bonus when i first started stanning it was 26th june and shortly after i made a stan acc teasers were being dropped but i didnt kno why ppl were freaking out i remmeber seeing jae’s teaser nd going ? ok? its just a pic damn ;-/ and then eveeryone was like: dowoon! choker! me: wdhs? what

4. ????do you have any allergies????

did u think of jae and no i used to be allergic 2 dairy products but thats disappeared

5. a fond memory???

bowling with friends and im just a disaster of a friend im always so loud with them and i thank god everyday that they handle my energy ? i would cheer for them even if they got a gutter or whatever and when they got a strike id go clap like crazy i love my friends i also went i have the power of god and anime on my side before flinging the ball and theyd laugh despite not knowing what vine that was from i love my friends... psg if ur out there yall are the best x i miss hanigng out with them as a trio.. three of us :( 

6. do you paint your nails?? if so, what are your fave colors to use?? if not, why??  

thats so.. tiresome.......... dont u have 2 wait for it 2 dry and shit ? my mums always worried abt ruining the colour or some sht nd im like !!! okY!!!!!!! tldr its a pain in the ass

7. what are your favorite colors?? what are your fave colors to wear??

i like hte colour of the sky... all the colours........ yeah love that bithc and lately ive been wearing a lot of black shirts finally went out of my embarrassing colourful phase ! 

8. what languages would you like to learn?? for what reason(s)??

japanese nd korean jp because i listen to a lot of things in japanese and korean for the same reason but my priority would be jp even tho id love to communicate with my faves i just... yeah although im not exactly making an effort 2 learn bc im lazy but if i Could.... itd be those two

9. when you get stickers, do you use them or do you keep them??

DHDGFHDHDGDSJHJSJAKSSJHFHS THIS FEELS LIKE A CALL OUT???? i keep them......... 

10. are there any groups that you might get into/want to get into?

hm... well theres knk ive learnt their names and im finally able to put name 2 face so thats nice svt too if htey didnt have such large numbers... thats all for now i think?? i love evry girl group though i love gIRLS... 

11. how are you???

idk im constantly just fine?? not the im sad but im fine kind of fine im literally just neutral half the time wjhddshs wild 

both of your questions were really unique and i loved answering them thank you so much for tagging me and if youve read until the end thank you i hope you have a good day!