#and i'm v hesitant about it idk i love hope but she has a lot of problems w/ aggression and making decisions for other people that she needs

[thatonesongyouretryingtoremember]

Going insane because the big fucking lumax elmax parallel elumaxers love to say means romantic elmax [which I hope it does] may very well mean platonic lumax instead?? Or even something else?????

I love platonic and romantic lumax equally, but I truly thought we were getting more romantic lumax next season so I'm VERY confused.

I say "confused" and "might" because there are MULTIPLE possibilities and I am still willing to entertain them all as of yet. If anyone wants to give input or ask questions PLEASE do so, I would very much appreciate! You can reblog or reply, but anons are also on rn :)

---

BASICALLY in Stranger Things One, El leans over Will, who is lying down half-dead and dying on the Upside-Down Castle Byers.

This scene establishes The Lean TM as I will henceforth refer to it.

El is saving him for lots of complicated reasons. She believes that she will be "replaced" afterwards. She wants to make her friends happy. She may believe in a consequence otherwise. And because she of course wants Will to stay alive. Her life so far has sucked ass.

---

Stranger Things Two rolls around. El is looking for Kali. Basically she is attaching herself like a friendly, adorable leech to anything remotely familiar. She wants FAMILY and STABILITY rn. So she goes to her sister, Kali. In this case, Kali is the one conjuring hallucinations. Spider (negative) followed by butterfly (positive) [both have other meanings too but Not The Point]

El says "are you real?". She isn't sure such a thing as a sister who won't betray her could happen in this life!

---

Stranger Things four!!

Max reaches out to El saying "are you real? Did I make you?" Adding the second questing as El is already known to her/she remembers El.

Even pinches her cheek!

This follows several hallucinations caused by Vecna, all bad (one involving Lucas, but Idk if that's relevant yet.)

Max has thus far believed that nothing as good as what she already believes El to be possible anymore, nor that she deserves it.

She definitely believes in Vecna causing yk Bad Shit if the El is fake.

---

The infamous The Lean TM 2.0!!!

Max is all the way fuckin dead. As a doorknob.

Lucas cradles Max, but the FRAMING puts him in the EXACT position as EL is with psychic image of Max, visually.

LEANING.

THEN El resuscitates Max via telekinetic chest compressions fueled by Happy Memory Positive Vibes Energy. She knows Max, *and* she has had a good life for some of it atp.

---

ANYWAYS. Onto some POTENTIAL meanings!

The Lean TM is not inherently romantic OR platonic. El did not even KNOW Will and did not feel anything PERSONALLY about him when she Leaned in ST1.

She EVENTUALLY got to know Will- AFTER The Lean TM. THEN their relationship is platonic.

But initially- sheer desperation. WHO Will was had nothing to do with it. The outside forces, that being (oversimplified) El's desire to SAVE Will. Not any feelings she had towards him.

This then changes for The Lean TM 2.0! El and Lucas KNOW Max! BUT assuming this is about OUTSIDE feelings- desperation had RUN the FUCK OUT- replaced by SHEER FUCKING SHOCK AND TERROR because A) Max is literally DEAD right now and B) fuckin Vecna and the apocalypse

THIS information gives us a few potential meanings:

The Lean TM represents outside feelings. It is a contrast between the relatively more hopeful eyes of a twelve year old, be she alone, than the jaded girl two years later. But she's got friends now. And also The World's Problems still exist. (Dead children equals world problems, alone v w/ friends obvi, and hopeful but desperate v already dead.) Supposed resurrection represents that it is never too late.

The Lean TM represents that those involved will have their relationship to eachother, or their impression of the other, changed in the future. Even THIS could mean a hundred things in its own!!

Siblings-ass pair did it first, another elmax siblings thing, does that make lumax paralleled to siblings??? I am HESITANT AS SHIT about this one because the point of parallels indicating interpersonal relationships is the characters' feelings- and in The Lean TM 1.0, you could hardly call willel "siblings" PLUS it would be weird to make lumax be like a siblings pair atp imo.

In any case, it kind of seems difficult to make this about romo lumax *alone*

---

NOW onto "are you real?"

This is Max saying something that parallels an earlier quote by El.

The funny thing is, Max in Stranger Things Four is actually more similar to Stranger Things FOUR El than to Stranger Things Two El. They both have feelings of guilt right now, and have trouble convincing themselves that they "deserve" friends and family, or for anything good to happen to them.

In Stranger Things Two, El is ACTIVELY SEARCHING for this family rather than avoiding it (though ST4 Max moves into this direction as well, the former is more connected to the nature of Max's Vecna Visions)

It's also totally different from the nature of their relationships, let alone the types!

El at the point of quote one ONCE AGAIN doesn't know Kali at ALL. By the time Max sees El, she is already familiar enough with El to believe that she could conjure her from memory!

Constancy???Hope?????Trust??? El2 was not in any type of immediate danger, unlike Max4.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS COULD POSSIBLY MEAN AND IT IS FUCKING ME UP. WHAT- BESIDES VISIONS AND DOUBTING REALITY- IS THE COMMONALITY HERE???

HI this has been sitting in my drafts for WEEKS and I've still got no FUCKING clue! On the one hand, the LEAN the GODDAMN LEAN makes it seem like it's probably elumax(if it's romo lumax it's probably both, and otherwise there may be a familial implication, but the meaning of that has become more Literal as of late so probably the first things) but then what the absolute FUCK is going on with the other thing?? In the SAME DAMN EPISODE!? And nowI'm reading about the lighting in the episode which makes the "r u real?" Thing even MORE confusing AND JESUS FORKING CHRISTY

[lingeringscars]

hope is not as in control of her ( physical ) aggression as she likes to believe she is. she tends to repress most of her emotions, filtering them into anger. she then takes her anger out on either the nearest bad guy, a punching bag, and sometimes other people at the salvatore school. on more than one occasion, her repressed emotions have come out in physical aggression, beyond her control. however, there are also moments where she is in complete control and still chooses this path. on more than one occasion, she has asked when she can start punching things, usually as a way of venting her own anger. 

in the musical ep, it’s really important to note that she was angry with landon. she took one look at him and then threw a dodgeball as hard as she could, with all of her super strength at jed, someone who could handle the impact unlike landon. this is a form of displaced aggression, and also a type of physical abuse. her main target wasn’t jed but landon and that’s not okay? i don’t think hope necessarily realizes this though. jed can take the hit, and she doesn’t know any other way to process or manage her grief or anger. it consumes her, and she feels like sparring, training, hitting is the only form of release. while there isn’t anything inherently wrong with this, as long as she’s in a controlled environment, but when other people are involved it can end in unintentional damage (ie: when her grief over her father is bottled up and she ends up accidentally knocking alaric & landon across the room). 

hope has a lot of bottled up trauma & grief that she needs to process and work through; otherwise it leads to negative reactions to stimuli that can further hurt herself and others. she frequently makes decisions for other people in an attempt to have control ( and the school also rests the weight of protection on her shoulders !! it feels like she’s the only one that can do anything because the school has this mindset that hope will always save the day and is their savior. so when hope fails or almost does or doesn’t show up, people either don’t know what to do or hold it against her. none of that is fair or okay either !! ). hope’s fear of losing people, though, does sometimes come out either in isolating herself and pulling away from the people that care, or making decisions for them and taking away their own autonomy ( she does this frequently to landon in an attempt to protect him as she sees fit ). hope is so afraid of losing people and has the weight of being the hero on her, that she oversteps and alienates the people she is closest to.

[cattles-bians]

damie vibecca exes au part 20

post directory

obsetress: ok but when they first meet

obsetress: at that bar on whatever night or whatever

obsetress: when dani and viola are talking

obsetress: viola's waving her hand around as she says something and dani's staring and then totally out of nowhere:

obsetress: "wanna compare hands?"

obsetress: "what?"

obsetress: "lemme see your hand"

obsetress: and dani is grabbing one of vi's with both of hers and pulling it towards her "like this"

obsetress: and then dani's pressing their palms together and viola's raising an eyebrow and dani just GRINS and then even once they lower their hands back to the bar, neither of them move away

em: dani is SO bold i would die for her

obsetress: god same

obsetress: dani keeps glancing down at them as they're talking and she is NOT subtle

obsetress: viola catches her every time

em: maybe dani gets a smidge of smthn on the corner of her mouth and viola...

obsetress: viola pulls her hand away and dani blinks and her brows do that lil thing but then viola's murmuring "here" and grazing her thumb along the corner of dani's mouth

obsetress: dani squeaks

em: love when dani gets out dani’d

obsetress: viola's like "sorry, was that... was that okay?" and dani just swallows and nods with big shining eyes and then vi kinda hesitates and (they've been talking for a couple hours at this point, touchin hands and obv v into each other) lets her thumb graze across dani's bottom lip and she murmurs "what about that?" and dani's eyes flutter shut

obsetress: cut to: them making out in the bathroom

obsetress: no um

obsetress: thinking about vi and dani's first kiss and like

obsetress: maybe like right after that up there vi's leaning in closer and i think she. asks dani "can i kiss you?" and dani's whispering "please" and then they're kissing all soft and THEN cut to: them making out in the bathroom and one of them slamming back against the door and kissing hard

em: dani whispering please…

em: also the smash cut between um nervous anticipation and SLAMMING against a door is so funny to me

em: sums them up

obsetress: RIGHT

obsetress: it's so good i love them

obsetress: i cant decide like

obsetress: because i don't think vi would be so rough with dani at first as to shove her hard against a door and i DO think dani would be shoving her against the door and her tongue down her throat first chance she gets

obsetress: but i think vi prob flips them p quick

---

em: i am. creasing thinking abt dani having to rename all of violas contacts like STOP FUCKING UR EX

obsetress: STOP FUCKING UR EX lskfjakdlsfjsd even BETTER

obsetress: edit the tumblr post coward

em: obsetress: no um dani definitely calls the landline once and viola's like "HELLO?" and dani's like "hi?" and viola's so glad to hear her dumb voice but she's still like "dani, why are you..." and dani's like "well... i, uh... i... i was... and then i..."

obsetress: anyway they have phone sex on the landline

em: CRYIN

em: danis blocked all of vis numbers except the landline shes down Bad

obsetress: yeah,

obsetress: (dani still comes over after)

em: unstoppable force (danis thirst) meet immovable object (violas stubbornness)

obsetress: just imagining like

obsetress: i mean either after this or at literally any other time

obsetress: dani and viola laying side by side in vi's bed catching their breath immediately after and viola's just like

obsetress: "you have the libido of a teenage boy"

obsetress: and dani's head just flops to the side to look at her and she just GRINS

em: dani makes some quip abt um

em: danis like i read somewhere women don’t hit their sexual peak until their 40s or something and violas like (extremely tersely) i’m 35

obsetress: SCREECH

obsetress: dani "no, i... i know, i wasn't–– i was just––"

obsetress: viola can't stay pressed w her

em: dani tryna explain her way outta that one i’m

em: dani has never once seen violas drivers license nor ID

obsetress: "i was just... saying, because, you know, i mean... for me, i'm... you know, i'm only ever getting more..." (flush, head duck, grin up through her lashes) "you know. and i'm getting older, so i was just... thinking. for me, i mean. thinking for me"

em: dani; also i give WAY better head than a teenage boy

obsetress: viola biting her lip, grinning, melting because how could you not? and then dani kinda stops in her tracks and her brows pinch together and she tilts her head at viola "i'm... a lot better at going down on you than a teenage boy though, right? i think i am" (long pause) "i hope i am"

obsetress: anyway viola laughs and tugs dani over n on top of her "i wouldn't know" and dani does her lil nervous laugh and is like "yeah, you're right, i guess not" "but" and dani's face lights up and viola continues "i think you probably are. and you're definitely up there" and dani just GRINS

obsetress: her head is back between vi's legs not three minutes later

em: dani talks big game n then like immediately double checks for validation

em: it’s an important part of her character growth!!!

---

em: ok more ‘viola has been doing this lesbian thing for longer than jamie realises’ content but like

em: perhaps she has a whole lot of ear piercings that she just never wears

em: and then one day she’s like gosh gotta make sure these don’t heal over and jamies like

em: hey what the fuck

---

obsetress: um suddenly had a thought

obsetress: viola tattoos

em: oh

obsetress: yeah, like um

obsetress: vi wouldn't have heaps and they'd be hidden bc Propriety but

em: hidden tattoos my beloved

em: all tattoos my beloved

em: i mean defs has like. the date and coordinates of isabels birth somewhere

em: but um! hmm

em: haha violets

obsetress: THE ISABEL THING WAS THE FIRST THING I WAS GONNA SAY

obsetress: violets are very vi tho like

obsetress: shade plant yk

em: under the tit

obsetress: I WAS GONNA SAY UNDER THE TIT

obsetress: GET OUTTA MY HEAD

obsetress: ok it has to be canon then if we both thought it

em: it’s canon!!

em: hmm what else

em: i think viola and dani have belly button piercings but like they got them separately

obsetress: omg when did they each get theirs

em: hmmmmmm

em: i mean wild child rich heiress viola (untapped potential here won’t lie)

obsetress: wild child rich heiress viola/boarding school wild child dani au

em: oh my god

em: viola defs went to a boarding school and dani n her commiserate over it

em: viola gets it done while she’s in highschool

em: dani post eddie break up

em: like symbolically reclaiming herself deal

em: doing things for Her

obsetress: YES

obsetress: i was gonna say vi highschool dani college

em: YES

em: idk what tattoos dani would get but am thinking abt viola holding her hand while she’s getting a tattoo or piercing done bc she’s braver than ppl think but Also

obsetress: vi holding dani's hand and telling her how good a job she's doing

obsetress: dani kissing vi's tattoos

obsetress: super fascinated even though shes seen them a hundred times

em: danis like haha and what’s this one mean (plants a big old smooch)

---

obsetress: Shananigans402: dani putting on 4 inch heels and being so content that she's finally her girlfriend's height and then viola kisses her before putting on 6 inch heels with a smug little grin

obsetress: i––

em: oh my god shannon

obsetress: oh shes on one

obsetress: Shananigans402: dani starts keeping things on a high shelf in her place just so she can ask viola to reach up to get them down for her

obsetress: i was talking to shan abt the shelf thing

obsetress: and i played myself i think

obsetress: because now i literally cannot stop thinking

obsetress: dani putting the strap on the top shelf in her closet "baby 🥺 can you get it 🥺"

---

[em note: once again it is the time honored timezone tradition of either sending ur friend something really good or really fucked up b4 they go to sleep]

em: what about

em: jamie and dani laying in bed after brunch w violas excessive amount of ear jewellery and jamies like ‘those were cool. i want some’ and danis like ‘with ur tiny lil ears??’ and jamies like ‘well. yeah…’ and danis like well. if u wanna. i think one would be cute here (mwah) and here (mwah) or maybe here (mwah)

em: ticklish jamie. that is my lil idea

obsetress: im Soft

em: thankyou

em: em softsbians

em: what was ur lil idea

obsetress: oh

obsetress: not obsoftress

obsetress: but um

em: look i was really hoping i could make it hornier but alas sometimes the idea is soft

em: can’t force the horny

obsetress: i will do my job n delivery the horny for u i suppose

obsetress: it's a hard job but somebody's gotta do it!

em: it’s a thankless job!

obsetress: dani, sneaking up behind viola to wrap her arms around her waist and bury her face between her shoulder blades: baby 🥺 can you get the strap 🥺

obsetress: dani, laying on the bed, staring up at her, panting: baby 🥺 can you get the strap 🥺

obsetress: dani, pulling away mid-heated makeout, half naked, still grinding into vi even tho they're not kissing anymore without even realizing it: baby baby 🥺 can you get the strap 🥺

obsetress: dani, catching her breath after her first orgasm, letting her head flop to the side to look over at vi: baby 🥺 can you get the strap 🥺

em: insatiable dani clayton my beloved

obsetress: thank you i agree

obsetress: something about dani calling vi baby also........................

em: oh i love dani calling vi baby SO MUCH

em: fucked up that dani clayton is potentially just the right height to motorboat vi pretty much whenever

em: sappho may u plant ur self face first into the breast of ur tender gf or whatever

em: dani: haha i’m so short i can’t reach it. can u lift me

obsetress: vi sees thru all of dani's little tricks but entertains them anyway

obsetress: because she knows shes gonna get to rail her at the end of them

em: dani being a little shit is foreplay actually clayton

em:

[keiscait]

hey, may i please request a bedroom matchup LOL 😏

she/her, bisexual (men over women (unless it's a big tittie goth gf)

sagittarius sun and virgo rising

ravenclaw 😏

sexual: i like being the top. call me mommy LOL. i also like being topped, i have a major knife kink 😏 im in charge most of the time, however it can change every now and then. when i'm the bottom i want my partner to spit in my mouth 🧎‍♀️ neck and ear bites plz 😏 i'm very vocal 👹👹

things i look for in a partner:

-LOYALTY!!1!1!2!2'

-has to have a good sense of humor

-chill

-very understanding

personality: i'm very outgoing and friendly to most people, but i keep my friend group small. i'm the loud friend of the group and i'm always trying my best to make my friends laugh. i say really weird things at the most random times and i often look really high so people think i'm on something. i'm a good leader though and take charge in the three sports i'm in. (i'm varsity captain in one of my sports!!)

appearance:

plans for future: i'm currently a senior in high school and i plan on going into the national guard or air force when i graduate :). the military will pay for college and i plan on either going into the criminal justice field or information technology field :p

music taste: literally everything except for country. you can catch me listening to dr dre, schoolboy q, blackstreet, and kendrick lamar one minute and then queen the next. i also love my female rap artists 👏👏 90s rock and rnb are also a must. i listen to 00's club music on a regular 😏

Hello and welcome, my dearest Bri! AND ADVANCED HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Wish I could bake you a cake, but all I can do is send some love (੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* Let’s get right to it then! ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

Look who we have here, hon!

Suna Rintarou! (Runner up: Kageyama Tobio)

Suna here has a really cold and icy demeanor, which I think has to be balanced out by outgoing people (like the Miya twins). He likes to act like this dark and brooding person, but deep down, he’s actually just a little gremlin like most of us. 

- Okay okay, I know what you’re thinking. Yes, I already know that you’re a Suna stan, but I genuinely could not think of anybody who matches your personality description better, the two of you would just be *aggressive chefs kiss*

- I’m kinda getting an enemies-to-lovers-ish vibe with this dynamic, but also like a partners-in-crime-to-lovers type of deal. Either way, it’ll start out a little bit chaotic

- Has a crush on you immediately, I just KNOW it, but he won’t realize this until later on, and may even totally deny it to himself

- He doesn’t really know when exactly he starts catching feelings for you, but the realization probably hits him when he sees you going about your daily activities

- You could be doing any of your extra curriculars - basketball, track, or marching band - and he sees how much you enjoy it, or maybe even after you just said one of your random thoughts. Whatever makes him feel like he’s getting to know you a little bit better

- it’s when you laugh right after, and suddenly he feels like he’s just been spiked a ball in the face, and he just audibly goes “ah shit.”

- Has no fucking clue what to do at first KDHFKSJHL someone pls help him!!!

- He ends up being a little awkward when he tries to do anything about it, and it’ll all just feel so unnatural HAHAH

- “Let me carry your bag” “No Rin it’s fine I can--” *pries your bag from your hands with way too much force*

- in his mind he’s like “Ah yes that went perfectly 😌”

- he tries to communicate his feelings in little ways like this, hoping you’ll catch on

- No, Suna Rintarou, poking fun at someone is not a declaration of love, but nice try!

- he’ll get so frustrated if you don’t catch on (or maybe you do, and you just want him to say something first), and eventually will straight up yell tell you how he feels

- once you two are together, he’ll still try to act he’ll try to keep up his icy exterior, but trust me, he’s completely whipped for you

- SHARED PLAYLISTS!!!!

- Appreciates that you keep your friend group small, because at the end of the day, he’s still a pretty reserved guy

- Admires your leadership qualities, and will not be insecure and toxic about it, despite what other people believe. He honestly wishes he could be more like you, in that sense

- He’ll be your # 1 fan in everything you do. Will support whatever it is that you want to achieve, and will cut any bitch who tries to get in your way

- boy is in LOOOOOVE

- If he ever gets mad or annoyed at you, just give him the smallest peck on his cheek, and he’ll be all putty in your hands again

- Likewise, I think he’d be so good at making you blush too. It’s not all the time that he does this, but when he does, it’s 1000000% effective

- A FRICKING TEASE SKJDHFDSJFGLSGJ CHANGE MY MIND

- Honestly I love this dynamic so much that I wanna make him your bedroom matchup too, but I feel like that would be a cop out 

~

You were exhausted.

It was never easy juggling all the activities that you took part in - each of them was truly a labor of love. Today was particularly draining because it was, after all, your birthday, and it just HAD TO fall on a weekday. You plonked on your bed and started scrolling through your phone.

Your tight-knit group of friends continued to send you birthday wishes, despite having already done so when you saw them earlier that day. They had sung to you and let you blow out a birthday candle - it was all they could do, given your busy schedules. You looked forward to the weekend you had planned with them and your boyfriend, Rintarou.

Speaking of Rin, you thought to yourself, as a message notification from him popped up.

- You’re already home, right?

- Yeah! Just got here. So tired

- That’s too bad. I was gonna ask you to open the door for me but I guess I’ll just go home

You ran to your front door faster than you expected you could manage, and there stood Suna, a balloon and a box of pizza in hand. He pretended to walk away slowly, making you giggle before you grabbed him and dragged him inside.

He pressed a soft kiss to your temple. “Happy birthday, babe.”

You were giddy, not expecting him to show up. “I thought we were gonna wait til the weekend for my celebration??” 

“Do you not know me by now?” he chuckled. “As if I’d let today pass without doing anything about it.”

You smiled and looked at him for a few seconds. He rarely looks so sincere, and so warm, and you just wanted to drink up every last drop of this moment.

He teased, “But y’know, I guess if you’re too tired, I can totally scarf down this pizza by myself.”

You groaned before dragging him to your room and setting up the playlist you guys worked on together, getting ready for a night in.

~

I hope that was alright, bb! Let’s make our way to the bedroom now ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

For some private time, I’ve invited over...

Oikawa Tooru! (Runner up: Suna Rintarou)

Despite how other people believe he’s a dom, I think he’d be a switch, at best. I think in the bedroom, he’d love to let his partner take control, just as much as loves having his way with them.

- What really gets this fucker going is pleasing people - and who would he love to please more than his s/o?

- He loves how your confidence translates into your bedroom behavior

- I headcanon that he easily falls apart in bed, and would gladly do so for his partner 

- He is s e n s i t i v e. Touch him, kiss him, grab him EVERYWHERE

- LOUD, but a lot of it is trying to get his partner to be even louder

- How does this man have both a praise kink and a degradation kink? Idk but I’m so sure he has both

- Would be totally onboard with your knife kink. He’s super into sensory play

- Speaking of which

- BLINDFOLD HIMMMM SKDJHFSDJFK THAT WOULD BE A SIGHT TO BEHOLD

- Once you ask him to take charge, I think he would still be a service dom

- Knows all your sensitive spots. Made sure to take note of them so that he can get you back for all the times you hit his sweet spots

- Loves mouth stuff. His mouth. Your mouth. Putting stuff in them. Tongue stuff. Loves all of it

- Great at aftercare, just a bit flashy with it. Kind of makes a show of what he’s doing but in the most adorable way

- Delicate with how he handles you after. Or if you’re the one giving him aftercare, would praise you the whole time

- Will hold you til you fall asleep 🥺

~

As a little extra gift, I wanted to give you a dressing room matchup too! 

I think your gorgeous face would look SO GOOD with...

Miya Atsumu! WHAT AN INSANELY GOOD LOOKING COUPLE YOU WOULD MAKE

~

That’s it for now, darling! I hope that was worth all the waiting you did. Thank you for being such a wonderful housemate - don’t hesitate to chat with me anytime. Advanced happy birthday again! (੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭*

Thanks for stopping by! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

[aresrl]

I hihi I am!!! A little nervous w/ doing this bc I've never done this b4 so please bear🐻 w// me💦 May I request a match up? A vision, a romantic partner and maybe a friend and/or enemy? If that's too much feel free to just assign me a vision + partner, ehe/// Preferably male for a romantic match-up, but either gender is fine with a friend and enemy match-up^^ I tried to be as detailed as possible but I think I ended up just ranting, so im v v sorry if it's long! I sort of fluctuate when it comes to being an introvert/extroverted. W// strangers and irl, I'm very introverted and shy!! Rarely speak and if I do it's just the usual "Hi how are you? That's good. I'm good too, thank you for asking:)" yeayea I'm not too. Keen on social interaction irl. But I always do my best to be very nice!! I never wanna come off as mean bc wow what a bad first impression that would be. But with friends / ppl ik online?? Whew I am very very friendly n chatty ^^ Either very high energy or very chill, there's rarely any inbetween. Sometimes I like to jokingly tease my friends but I'd never go too far / make them uncomfortable!! And if I do I always apologize right away!! I like to say that I'm affectionate?? My strongest love language is def physical affection, if not quality time. Idk man there's just something about vibing with someone or hugging them that just aaaaa/// Although I usually display affection w// words of affection bc. Literally most of my friends are online friends so I can't actually hug them, sad times. Idk if this is needed/important info but I just remembered: I'm 5'6 around??? Need glasses bc. Whew i am blind (near sighted), I'm poc (specifically black) anndd, hm. Actually I think thats it for this section, aha. As you can see I'm, not really all that organized. Also I don't have the best attention span - while writing this I'm circling between 4 different apps - and I'm a bit of a mess. And also a little stupid. Just a smidge dumb. But I have my moments - I solved like. 2 puzzles in Inazuma by myself so I think that counts for something. I also find that I tend to talk a whole lot when I have an idea or smthn to say abt a thing I'm super interested in!! That's info-dumping. I info dump. Yes. I also really like to listen to other people talk abt things they like!!!! Its so nice :) I'm protective over people I care about!! I've never done it but 100% would bark at someone who messed with someone close to be. Arf arf yaknow. I tend to he impulsive. I'll do something, and be all "YEAH>:D" and then regret it later. And then I'll do it all over again in a fun little cycle :) I consider myself an optimist, but quickly turn into a pessimist whenever it concerns myself. Fun funfun. Should probably mention that I am. A very insecure person w/ dangerously low self esteem, which is super fun esp when you mix that with the fact that I'm rarely ever motivated to improve. Yayayay Also sort of a pushover?? Like most often than not I'll be convinced to do something, even if I'm not too keen on doing it. Also afraid of confrontation when it comes to my friends and strangers (that is, if it's concerning me!! I'll order smthn for my friend but if I need to order for myself?? uhh stutter time aha). I'm also a mega simp ahah! Srsly though if I fall for someone/get infatuated with someone I. Will be so obvious abt it even though I try very hard not to be. Would gush over that person probably. I don't really like mean people tbh. Like yes I'll be nice and civil with them but!!! I cannot stand!!! Rude people!!! Esp when they're mean for no reason like sir??? maam??? homie??? chill pls ty<3 People who aren't necessarily mean, but moreso have bastard energy and are just really "hehe>:D" but playfully are p poggers tho!!! I think I get along with kids!! I have a little sister,, around like. Nine? And we get along really well!! I also try and match a kid's energy whenever I'm tasked with looking after them. I take pride in the fact that kids like me >:].... even if they sometimes scare me-- Ok, interest time!!

I like art!! Quite a bit!! Less of a realistic artist and more of a cartoonist!! Idk there's just something fun abt drawing cartoons, hehe. I also like self ships - I have quite a bit of them, actually ! Idk its comforting drawings your fictional crushes loving you idkidk. I like writing too! Both original stories, and one-shots or personal fics that are associated with already created media!! Writing character backstories and personalities and stuff is also fun too! I've even made my own fictional world with a full fledged backstory n everything! It's very fun to think about. I'm a day dreamer!!! Yea remember when I said I write stories? I day dream abt potential stories even more. Mmm daydream world so nice so warm so fun I read aswell!! Mostly fantasy books, or stories where animals are the protagonists. Think Warrior Cats. But my favorite book series has got to be Guardians of Ga'Hoole. Fantasy owl books, anyway! X Readers are also things I enjoy reading :) Again, s I m p Also gaming!!! Is something fun I do sometimes!!! Although it's usually Genshin Impact, or Wii Sports/Resort w// my little sister. Oh, also pokemon! I rlly like Primarina, Vaporeon, Sylveon and Vulpix/Ninetails! I absolutely adore sweet foods, and baking is smthn I'm def interested in! Don't like foods w// weird textures though, like beans or mashed potatoes. Also I. Love spice so much. Mmm love it when my mouth burns so bad. Don't have a favorite animal but I've had three cats in my lifetime (btw not important but my current cat is named Sylvester and. He's my baby boy) so I am. A very big cat fan. Probably not needed but I really like sword and claymore characters. Literally all of the characters I main are either sword or claymore users. Although I did get Diona, so I miiight start forcing myself to learn how to aimmm. I see that I tend to like people/characters that are a little more extroverted than me. Upbeat, happy type beat!!! Nice sunshine babies, :) I think thats it! I hope this was good enough? Again, first time doing this (at 2am nonetheless) so forgive me if I got too rambly or did anything wrong ^^ Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this! And I hope your day is good / you had a good day, depending on when you read this, ehe!

Hey! Sorry if the wait has been long! I also love Warrior Cats (I promise myself, one day I'll finish it.)

You received... A Pyro vision! Optimistic, enthusiastic, impulsive, reckless, and a lot of energy are the general characteristics held by the Pyro vision. • I hesitated between the Pyro and Hydro vision, but your energy distinguishes you from the Hydro vision. • You said you were impulsive, always doing something you might regret later but still doing it. • You react quickly: as you said, if somebody hurt someone you love, you won't think twice before barking. Your partner would be... Xingqiu! “This feeling was unexpected.” • At first, you were just friends, and Xingqiu really loved to tease you. Actually, you both teased each other. But eventually, a feeling of love towards you grew into Xingqiu. And that was reciprocated. • Your relationship is filled with teases, jokes, and good/funny moments where you mostly share what you commonly appreciate. • He also knows when to get serious: for example, he does everything to support you during your moments of struggle concerning your self-esteem. Your friend would be... Childe! “Luckily, I'm here!” • You two also share funny moments, especially during situations where your “stupidity” is overtaken by his insight. • Sometimes, he finds you cute. • He likes the fact that you get along well with kids. It leads you to great moments with him and his siblings. • You're quite the opposite in terms of self-esteem. I think it's a good thing because it makes you complementary. Your enemy would be... Albedo! A misunderstanding. • You wouldn't hate each other, but I think Albedo wouldn't like the way you use your energy, and when you're more in a chill mood (meaning you're more available for him to talk), he could get pissed at how much times he'd have to repeat himself for you to understand something. • He's very patient, but he understood quickly that his interests would maybe not be within your reach. • You would just be too different. Worth to mention • You and Venti are like drama queens in Mondstadt. You are good friends. But you both know that you can't be more, as it would eventually both drag you down (because of similar problems). • Klee is also your best friend: both of you share decisions that you definitely will regret later. Or maybe not. • Hu tao and you are kinds of silently competing over who's the best tease, and she beats you. My goal is definitely not achieved. I hope I can catch up tomorrow. And don't worry, it was surprisingly good for a first description!

[woozi]

twt being no.1 on updates, true that <3

not jaebeom speaking abt the mark, hui, btob youngjae fight on youngk's radio show at the time i was typing away abt temper 😭 dhdjdkkdks it's so funny whenever these guys meet someone has to mention abt it and then everyone starts talking. it's like that one story in your friend group you all just can't let go of and some might be like ' how long are you gonna talk abt it?' & next thing you know they're also talking about it at some other time djdjsksk. (but also not him saying he hugged mk to stop him 😔🥺 this was new info to me) i get what you're trying to say hdjdke <33.

oh no alexa pls play you can't sit with us by sunmi. sorry jaebs you are not allowed in our club anymore </3 dhdjdk. RIGHT?? need some silly things to hang on to, to make life interesting jdjdkdkd. naur <///3 i love yugs' smile and laugh sm. i like calling him, chan and seungkwan(even tho sometimes this one makes me want to fight him) ' babu ' (it's a cute term of endearment in my language djjdd idk how to describe it in eng it's something btwn bub and cutie but tbh comparing it to these two makes it a lil bland djdjdk also i feel like sharing this will give away my identity bc i use these a lot in tags 😭😭 also idk if you got the notif but i accidentally liked & then unliked last ask jdjdkd) anyway all 3 of them make me very happy 🥺.

im starting to l*ve u and ur taste too 😿💗. i'll be honest i don't know which bsides have choreo from old albums ( i only know of current ones bc i was there during cbs djdjk 😭) unless someone tells me abt it, i haven't seen it yet but that's what i'm gonna do after sending this. also samee i dont wanna get my hopes up but since jus2 are basically from same agency i am also looking forward to them being in one track in future.

gotsvt chef's kiss 💖. i think ppl just start naming songs they personally dislike, flop these days djjdke. maybe it's just younger ones or just those who listen to title tracks only. there used to be this one song i listened to, of jamie, it was also a feature can't remember name of it, but other than that i haven't listened to her discography much :3. tasteee it's a banger! on the rocks makes me want to miss my non existent s/o djekdkdl. the lyrics </3 the vibe </3. i think drive you home comes close to it for me. after on the rocks that's another one i love with capital L.

dhdjkdjdek that's okay i tend to repeat same phrases too, and trueeeee live performances hit differently.

it's funny how you say i'm keeping up w g7 bc i have no idea where jackson is or what he is doing and until his 2nd bday live i thought mark was in china but then got to know he was in hawaii 😭 i've given up on keeping track what they're doing off stage/irl unless i get update via ig stories through them. keeping up what their releases is still somewhat easy so i'm just doing that. ( i had no idea jaebs was gonna be on eric nam interview but finally today i got the chance to watch it 🥺💚) also!! yes i had didn't know what or how bam's agency is like but everything abt bam's cb i was content with and loved it, i'm impressed.

omg you're chan's age??? i'm a 97 kid :3 and yeah same that's what i thought too, couldn't really find any answer as to why he wasn't :/.

also no worries abt playlist jdjddk i'll slowly start listening to their discography here and there. BUT ALSO i saw there is slchld on the playlist you linked, I LOVE THEIR SONGS OMG. NO IDEA WHO THEY ARE BUT I LOVE LOVE LISTENING TO THEIR SONGS, yerin baek too!! after woozi's cover i started listening to some of her songs <333 also kehlani 💖 i love her voice. thank you for sending in just that too <3

also did you notice seungkwan's ball which got stuck om roof, is still there in same place in 4th ep of in the soop djsjskslsl 😭 i found that so funny for some reason. no one bothered to bring it down.

i hope this week is being kinder to you since last weekend was one rough (else i'm fighting it), stay hydrated <3 yza 💗 goodluck w uni - 🪂

WAIT HE DID????????????? I DIDNT GET TO WATCH THE THING THATS SO FUNNY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

literally how many times have they talked abt this... AND EXACTLY FDJKFJDKFD it's the predebut fight bond for me <3 ok but i can see jaebs hugging mark so he won't beat the living shit out of the other boys that is So Him 😭

YOU LISTEN TO SUNMI... EVERYDAY U GET SEXIER.. WHAT THE HEAL.. it's like that w astrology to me too KJKJDFKJFDKJ i would also fight seungkwan no hesitation tbh it'd end up w me headlocking him im just so sure of it <3 OHHH I THINK IM FAMILIAR W UR NATIVE LANGUAGE THEN??? filo???? im not so sure though fdkjfdjkf and no u don't have to worry abt that i don't check my notifs anymore JKFKJJKDFKJ i just check mentions replies and asks <3 i know i'm missing a lot by doing so but it just takes up too much time for me now :/ and i will pretend to not know even though i have def seen those tags KJFKJDJKFDKJFD

dw i don't know most of them either KJFJKJFDD i just come across things!! i don't even know A Lot of things abt the groups i liked ever since i came back from my kpop hiatus jkfdkjdf i dont feel like i need to know Everything anymore just to like things lol 😭 im hanging on to this frail hope... jus2.. BLEASE....

ik :/ and there's no reasonable.. idk guideline anymore for "successful" songs which is also weird to me.. i think thats bc of streaming and shit :/ JAMIE IS SOOOO GOOOD!! i knew her from her reality competition days and when she eventually debuted in 15&. jype fucking sucks though she could've been v big now :/ the vocal chords on that woman.. incredible. <3 JDSKJDSJ WITH A CAPITAL L!!!! jacks' latest songs are always abt heartache what is he going thru 😭 how did u feel abt LMLY?

i know like.. only 13 words max nowadays so 😭

i think jacks is just always busy so we both cant keep up with him 😭 AND MARK IS IN HAWAII?????????? I THOUGHT HE WAS IN LA WTF 😭 i actually am not keeping up w them as much as i used to i just still have a lot of g7 moots and i follow update blogs so JKFJKDKJFD i still love the boys sm though it's just that im becoming a svtpoppie now 😭😭😭

yes i am <3 he's just a few months older than me!! ALSO WAIT we're the same age as g7 and svt's maknae lines 👁️👄👁️

HELL YEA!!!!!!!!!!!! i actually don't know who they are either i just listen to them too fdjkfjkkjfd lately spotify's doing most of the work for me <3 ALSO U KNOW ABT JIHOON'S COVER... UR SO- ok we're besties 4 life now <3 CAN I JUST SAY... WHAT THE HELL IS UP W JIHOON.. DOING IT IN THE ORIGINAL KEY.. HE HAD NO BUSINESS SHOWING OFF LIKE THAT OK UR TALENTED N IM A LITTLE IN L*VE W U WE GET IT 😭😭😭

AND NO DFKJFDKJJKFDFDKJDF WHY IS THAT SO FUNNY TO ME 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 HOW DID U EVEN NOTICE!!! NOW IM GONNA HAVE TO LOOK FOR CLIPS OF IT JKFDFJKDFD 😭 they're truly relaxing they cant even be bothered lmaoooo

looks like it'll be much better!! i'm kind of excited for uni ngl <3 i hope everything's well w u as well and that all ur endeavors are bussin <3 u stay hydrated too and get lots of sleep!! <3

[somewhereapart]

I have seen you mentioned on twitter about something that you have written for BIn but was to painful to include in the actual story? Idk...Something about Robin asking for a break? I might be wrong but if I'm not would you ever consider posting that here on Tumblr as a one shot? A 'What would have been' kind of thing?. If not totally understand

Oof. Okay, well, if ya want it.... This is the first version I wrote of Robin following her inside during Henry’s party. It got away from me a little, you guys, and so I brought it to some friends for consideration and we decided that while a lot of what was said probably needs to be said, it was just too depressing -- especially with ROBIN being the one sort of giving up on them here. So I went back to the ORIGINAL intent of the scene, and wrote what you ended up seeing in that guest bedroom. Which ultimately, I think is the right decision for them. But here’s the painful version, since a few people have asked now.... 

He catches her lower lip between his, gives it a little suck, and she closes her own around his top lip, then plants another soft smooch against him. And then with no small amount of regret, she tilts her chin down, foreheads pressing as she puts air and space and common sense between their mouths, and breathes, “What are we doing?”

He’s spilling breathless apologies almost before she finishes the question, telling her, “I’m sorry,” and “I’m weak for you in shorts; all that leg. I’ve wanted you all morning.”

Well, that’s not helpful.

She groans a little, presses forward, and their lips meet, another heady kiss, but quick this time, and then they’re breaking again, Regina insisting, “We can’t.”

“I know,” he says, stealing another kiss, and then, “I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have.”

But he’s not the one who started this – she is. Just like she started the time before that, and maybe even the time before that, and…

“No, I’m sorry,” she tells him, forcing herself to bring that arm still clutching his shoulder down, down. (It only makes it as far as his chest, slithering down between them until her palm is resting over his beating heart, her arm wedged between them to create an illusion of space.) “I’m the one who keeps telling you no and then kissing you anyway. That’s not fair; I shouldn’t do this.”

The hand he has in her hair shifts slightly, slides forward just enough that he can stroke his thumb behind her ear in a way that has her eyes dropping closed. “Regina, love, I am not complaining.”

“You should be,” she insists, fisting the cotton of his v-neck loosely, then pressing it flat, opening her eyes and staring at the vee of his shirt as she tells him, “I’m jerking you around; I shouldn’t. I just…”

“Want this?”

Desperately.

But it doesn’t matter how much she wants it, she wants him unharmed and un-jailed more, so she says, “We both know we can’t.”

“Do we?” he asks, and her middle pinches with anxiety, because yes, they do, they’d better, she thought they did...

She meets his gaze, his seeking, frustrated gaze, and gives him a warning, “Robin…”

“I know,” he exhales, sounding just a touch annoyed about that, and for the first time she’s not sure if it’s annoyance at himself for putting them in this situation or her for giving in yet again and then putting on the brakes. “I know we can’t, but I cannot remember the last time I wanted a woman the way I want you. I am a starving, thirsty man in a desert, just hoping for water. And every time we kiss, it’s like a tiny fresh spring to carry me through a little while longer. So I never regret it—not for my own sake, anyway. But I know that you do, or at least you say you do, but we keep ending up here, and I don’t know if it’s you, or me, or—”

“It’s me,” she insists, shaking her head and finally using that hand on his chest to ease a half-step of space between them, breaking contact entirely and crossing her arms tightly over her chest. Her fingers dig into her biceps in an effort to keep from reaching for his. “Between Sidney, and my mother, and us, I have so much…” One hand lifts and flutters anxiously around her heart as she says, “pent up, and every time I see you, I want to…” She tucks that arm back into place, shakes her head.

“Well, then maybe we shouldn’t see each other,” he says, a strain to his voice, a tense undercurrent. It turns that pinch in her middle into a heavy stone that drops, and pulls something vital down with it, but his hands still find her elbows, cupping there with those damnable soothing thumbs again as he says, “For a little while, anyway. Because when you’re hurting, and you want me, all I want is to give you whatever will make you feel better. And then afterward, we both feel like shit. And that’s not all on you, I knew when you kissed me we’d end up having this conversation again, and I didn’t stop it. I didn’t want to.”

Regina jerks a shoulder up, then down, and says, “Me too. But what about Henry – and Roland? What about Mondays?”

Robin blows out a breath, lifts one hand to rake through his hair and drops the other uselessly. “Okay, how about this? We’re not alone together. We’re alright when the boys are there – either of them – it’s when we’re alone that we get, you know…”

“Hormones on parade?” she asks with a sardonic lift of an eyebrow.

Robin’s lips twist into a pale imitation of a smile, and he says softly, “I think we both know it’s more than hormones.”

Ain’t that the truth.

But he’s right. They were fine at the park the other day, and things were fine at the bar, aside from those few minutes they spent tucked away in the dark of the office. And she’s past the point of thinking that their lives will ever fully untwine, so they have to be able to be together. Avoiding each other entirely is no good solution when he lives next door.

So she agrees, nods and tells him, “No alone time sounds good. At least until ‘alone time’ doesn’t come with the constant temptation of ‘alone time.’”

“Well, that’s never going to happen,” he says with a little bit of tease, a little levity creeping back into his voice, even though right now she still feels that weight tugging down at her heart. “The day I’m not tempted by you is the day I go blind. And deaf.” He reaches out for her again, but her hands are still dutifully rooted to her arms so he seems to settle for a belt loop (awfully forward, but he’s not touching skin, so it’s honestly probably safer quite a few more family-friendly places), hooking his fingertip into it as he tells her, “I think you’re incredible. You know that.”

“I’m addicted to that,” she admits quietly. “It’s why this keeps happening. You’re right; he is bothering me. And when he says the things that he does, or looks at me the way he does, or he touches me, or… Or when my mother is my mother— It makes me feel…” She doesn’t quite have the words for it, for the skin-crawling feeling of anxiety that they set slithering under her skin (she can feel an echo of it even now, and it has her rolling her shoulders, gripping more tightly at her arms. “It makes me feel the furthest thing from incredible. And I know that when I see you, you’ll look me the way you do, and say the things you do, and you’ll touch me the way you do, and everything will just… settle.” She’d been doing alright, holding it together, but she feels the hot prickle of tears at the back of her eyes as she whispers, “You make me feel safe.”

The look he gives her then is anguished, and she knows why without him even saying it. How can he cut her off if she’s saying these things? If he’s the thing that makes her feel safe. But she can’t be selfish; she is not the only one who matters here, so she doesn’t give him a chance to say the things they both know he will.

Instead, she reaches for the hand he has hooked in her belt loop, grasps his fingers tightly in hers and says, “But I am not the only one who matters here, and you need to be safe too. And Robin, you and I both know that I am not safe for you. And not in the way that Sidney or my mother aren’t safe for me. They are uncomfortable for me, but they are livable. And I don’t need hugs and kisses to deal with them; those things just make me feel better. You need to not be in jail. For your son, for you. And until I know that being with me won’t destroy your life… I can’t let you be the thing that makes me feel safe. It’s not fair to you.”

“We don’t know that—”

“I won’t risk it,” she tells him firmly. “I don’t know how to find out without putting you at risk, and I won’t risk marching you into her warpath, Robin. You won’t win. She never loses. Just, please trust me on this. You don’t know her the way that I do.”

“I do trust you,” he sighs, his thumb rubbing along the length of hers, their fingers still tightly locked together. “Doesn’t make this any less shit. And I don’t want you to hesitate, ever, if you need something. Even if we try to be better about space, about… situations like this… If you need me, if you need to send Henry over for an hour, or if you really do need me to beat that wanker’s face in someday—” She can’t fight the little smirk that grows at that, but she presses her lips together almost immediately in an attempt to hide it “—please, don’t think that’s selfishness. I can be your friend and keep my hands and lips to myself. I just need to know where we bloody stand – so that I can stand there.”

“We’re friends,” she says, with far more certainty than she feels. “Friends who leave enough room for the Holy Spirit, so to speak, whenever we’re in close proximity to each other.”

He smiles at that, bites that lower lip, and nods a little, teasing, “Secondary school dance rules apply, huh?”

He still has that finger hooked in her belt loop, their joined hands pressed against it, but he shifts now, draws their hands to her hip, places his other on the opposite side as well and then straightens his arms to leave a generous gap between them. He sways them a little, the exaggerated picture of awkward eighth grade romance, and she snickers.

“Pretty much,” she agrees. “Minimum safe distance. Until I can sort my life out a little, anyway.