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#and id be none the wiser
marciliedonato · 2 years
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they could be playing stay rn and have gerard on the cross for all i know
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caleblandrybones · 1 year
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Did...Lestate call Claudia a boy (il instead of elle)?
no here I think he means louis
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1dklikesthings · 2 years
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FANDROID IS FUCKIGN BACK LETS GOOOO !!!!!!!
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forestlion · 10 months
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i could never be the princess on the pea bc i realized just now i slept on an ibuprofen pack the entire night this is crazy
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tchaikovskaya · 2 years
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I could/should elaborate when I’m not falling asleep as I am rn but like. I feel like for the people who you “mourn” who have died young and/or suddenly who you knew only in passing, or only casually interacted with, or were once close to but in the years between then and their death you barely spoke, etc etc etc, you arent actually mourning them or their presence in ur life (and now palpable absence) (supposedly) but just what it means to be a human on earth who has to grapple with inevitable loss and the immense weight of what a Person is and their footprint on everyone they interact with that is fleeting even tho there are several billions of us on the floating rock but none of those billions of lifetimes are ever overlapping 100%…. sigh :/
#context a student who graduated last semester (undergrad) died in a car crash like 500 miles away#and one of my fellow grad students/TAs and a few of his former profs are so upset about it and like………#u barely knew this kid I mean of course I feel terrible that someone with his life ahead of him was snuffed out in the blink of an eye#but like…….. if u had never found out about this. or if this hadn’t happened and he went on to live a boring long life#he would mean next to nothing to u !!! u would be none the wiser! u would probz not even recognize his name in 10 years! why are u crying!!!#idk I would be less ANNOYED and hashtag BOTHERED by it if the same people didnt say such nasty derogatory shit about their undergrads#like every other time I talk to u about mundane news ur complaining about how ur students are all lazy untalented idiots#but now THIS ONE who was never meaningful to u before THIS GUY is SPECIAL to u…? u mourn him?#2 weeks ago if I showed u his student ID photo u would struggle to remember his name but NOW HE MEANS SOMETHING#NOW THAT HES GONE AND IT DOESNT FUCKING MATTER ANYMORE NOW HE MEANS SOMETHING TO YOU#tldr if ur still reading lmao I feel like this stuff is always about yourself and almost never about the dead person#which is valid in its own way I mean I’ve literally cried after passing mangled cars and ambulances with people who defs aren’t gonna surviv#but it’s never been about their life’s overlap with mine and retconning some kind of memorable or emotional significance to it#idk why I’m so emotional about this in like 3 separate directions but it’s just so fucking frustrating !!!!!!! 🥲🤡
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tu-es-gegg · 1 year
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insane charlie actually uploaded the slimecicle gen loss stream, no description or nada
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gmos · 1 year
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THATS MY PRONOUNS
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THOSE ARE MYYYY PRONOUNSSSS
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leejinkie · 2 years
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these guys look like they should be in nct
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nekowreck · 6 months
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pretty sure im autistic. but its not really a grand revelation or anything im just like :( what now even
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craacked-splatters · 10 months
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No but like fr if the Internet were to die right here right now what would y'all's response be and what would you do now that it'd gone?
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gaberoothekangaroo · 1 year
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somehow theres 708 of you here
i got some recent follows and was like spam bots? no. twas peoples
for those of you thatre new. hi hello. @ me if you need me to tag something so you can block it. at one point i tagged my queue as 'p' cause i was queueing things no longer allowed on tumblr. never changed it back
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sapienthouse · 1 year
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i really like bird noises but the last 2 ppl ive mentioned that to have mentioned they do too, except they find it really annoying when the birds are fighting. since when do you speak bird, huh?
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othercrossee · 1 year
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I love traditional art
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pixiesnooze · 2 years
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gutterfuuck · 5 months
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thinkin abt u and ur best friend mark…
cw: somno, pervy mark, drunk reader, mdni
bff!mark who gets touchy when you’re out and about, his hands always finding their way on your shoulder, thigh, neck. of course, he was protecting you! he had to keep you safe from all of the other bad men, it was what best friends were for, right?
bff!mark who forgets to return your pajamas from the night before, hoping that you would eventually forget about them too, so he could continue sniffing at your clothes, his mouth hanging open while he fucks his fist.
bff!mark who apologises for the weird mark that stained the seat of your pajama shorts, swearing up and down that he knew how bad it looked and that he had no idea how it had gotten there. best friends don’t lie to each other, after all.
bff!mark who lets you get just a little bit more tipsy than you should be; helping you swallow down yet another drink even after you had insisted that it was to be your last.
bff!mark who damn near almost has to carry you across campus on his back, your high heels in his hand as not to lose them, he knew that they were your favourite.
bff!mark who holds your door open for you, watching as you stumbled into your home, tripping over nothing, resting on your bed.
bff!mark who doesn’t have a problem with sleeping over in your room for the night, you were his best friend.
bff!mark who starts to strip you naked, trying his best to avert his eyes from your body while he attempted to change your clothes for you, not being able to resist looking at your tits, your nipples pebbling up from the cold air.
bff!mark who’s hands start to roam your barely conscious body, pulling your pants down to your ankles to take you all in. he was just cleaning you up a little, changing you so you’d be clean for bed.
bff!mark who buried his face into your crotch, sniffing you like he had sniffed your clothes, his heart thumping as he debated whether he should taste your cunt, just one lick, one taste and he’ll be done…
bff!mark who has no idea what he’s doing, his tongue flicking against your clit mindlessly. you tasted so sweet to him, making out with your pussy, kissing your little nub lovingly.
bff!mark who is painfully hard, his cock straining against his pants as he palmed his clothed bulge, looking down on your sleeping body, knowing that he was violating you in your own bed, knowing that your roommate could walk in at any time and ruin his fun.
bff!mark who’s hands fully yank your pants past your ankles, leaving you completely nude, eating you up with his eyes.
bff!mark who apologises while he jerks off over your unconscious form, occasionally slowing down to rub his leaking tip all over your lips, guilt slowly slipping away as he lost himself in you,
“sorry… ‘m so sorry..” he says in between heavy breaths, the thought of you waking up in the morning and knowing none the wiser making him throb.
bff!mark who is scrambling to stuff his dick back into his pants as if he had never done anything wrong, searching his blank and flustered brain for an excuse as to why you were naked.
“i thought id clean you up”, “you threw up all over yourself”, “you trust your best friend right, y/n?”
and who are you to judge him?
bff!mark who watches you stand up clumsily, your tits bouncing as you walk over to your messy desk, pulling one of his shirts over your head. he had left it in your room some time ago, and you had been using it as a pajama top.
bff!mark who can’t stop himself from blurting out how good you looked, even with your makeup smudged and your hair in a mess. you smiled back, best friends were supposed to compliment you, no matter how pervy it came off as sometimes.
bff!mark who takes advantage of your drunken, sloppy state, his pockets almost bulging with panties you would never see again and would blame on the community dryer that you swore had eaten up your sweaty t-shirt, the same shirt that mark used as a pillowcase, falling asleep to your smell.
bff!mark who regrets not holding you down, covering your mouth with his hand and just using your body to get himself off, telling you how much he needed this and how much he wanted you.
bff!mark who tucks you into bed, waiting for you to fall back into a deep sleep before he’s fisting his cock with his hand again over you,
“you’re gonna take it- fuckkk, i’m gonna make you take m-me-“
he groans, mumbling to you as if you could hear him,
“g’na shove it in-inside… get you pregnant- hng..”
bff!mark who pumps his cock faster, chasing his approaching orgasm, body tensing up as he shot white ropes onto your sleeping face, hips stuttering as he carried on stroking his length, overstimulating himself to ride out this moment for longer.
bff!mark who pulls out his phone, taking picture after picture of the way his cum glazed your face and leaked down your cheek,
“y/n, i’m so sorry… sorry..”
he whispers sweetly, wiping the mess he made on your face away with the sleeve of his hoodie, planting kisses all over your face.
bff!mark who finds himself in his boxers, sneaking under the covers to sleep beside his best friend, a regular occurrence after you had drank for the night.
bff!mark who whispers goodnight into your unhearing ears, kissing your forehead and pulling you into his arms. you wouldn’t question it in the morning, as usual. you trusted your best friend, even when you woke up with mark’s dick pressed against your ass. it was just morning wood, it wasn’t on purpose. you trusted your best friend.
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lips of an angel
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pairing: married! leon x marriage counselor! reader
cw: infidelity, p in v, oral, over-usage of 'good girl', regret, leon is an asshole (like, he's really a dick), reader is also not a good person (so, hopefully it's ooc for u lol), not proofread enough
summary: leon is married to ashley (she deserves better) and he cheats on her with reader who is the marriage counselor
a/n: based on a reddit post lol. also, it's time for us to admit that lips of an angel is such a fucking good song and leon would listen to it. (imagining this is id! leon and that song came out around that time so actually it's perfect. anyway, bye)
wc: 2.7k
[edit] taglist
@rigorwhoring
@dilfprayers
@porcelainseashore
@dollita-fawn
@xoxoloveless
@admirxation
@pawrincss
@onlyasimp4-2dbitches
@pr3ttyd0llie
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It starts like many horror stories do: with a knock at the door. He's tall, dark, and handsome, standing in the doorframe. Except not that dark, not very tall at all, but incredibly handsome and you've come to find over the sessions you've spent together that his looks are your weakness. His weakness is you. And many other women. Including his wife, who usually attends these sessions, but tonight, he comes alone. Maybe it's the rain that's beating down on the windows - thought it should sound like a warning - that makes you feel sympathetic enough to let him in when you know you shouldn't.
You let him sit on your couch, but make him hang up his leather jacket on the coat rack so he doesn't ruin the furniture. So you can see his biceps better. And his forearms when he rolls up the sleeves of his dress shirt. The first two buttons are already undone, but that's how he always dresses. You know this because you spend too much time looking at him. What does his wife wear? Skirts? Dresses? Pantsuits? She could wear a goddamn clown costume to every session and you'd be none the wiser because you're staring at her husband like he's a piece of meat.
"Not that I'm unhappy to see you, but why are you here?" you ask him. "Your appointment isn't until Wednesday."
"I'm having marriage troubles. I thought you might be able to help."
It's in the job title: marriage counselor.
"Where's Ashley?" It's a loaded question, and the gun is pointed at your entire fucking career.
"She couldn't come. Plus, I don't think she'd like to know about these problems I'm having."
You take a deep breath, contemplating absolutely nothing because you've already made your choice. You made your choice months ago when you had your first appointment with the Kennedys.
“Remember when I said I had a history of cheating?”
“I do. Has this become a problem again?”
“Not exactly,” he says with a slight chuckle that you later find is ironic in nature. “But I’ve been having thoughts…”
“Are these thoughts sexual?”
“Very.”
“Have you tried taking care of it yourself?” You make a hand gesture to signal ‘if you know what I mean’ and pray he knows what you mean so you don’t have to say the words ‘jerk off’ explicitly.
“Yes, but it hasn’t worked.” He looks directly into your eyes when he says it.
"Are these thoughts about a specific person?"
"Yes." 
His answers, which are limited to only a few words at a time, make you feel like you're shaking up a magic 8 ball, and the blue goop reveals a die that has little to say beyond 'It is certain', 'My sources say no', and 'Try again later'. 
“Is there a way you could distance yourself from this person so you don’t have any potential ‘slip ups’?” you ask.
“Sure, but I’d have to stop counseling if I did.”
“Excuse me, Mr. Kennedy-”
“Leon.”
“Right. Leon, I’m not trying to be presumptuous, but are you insinuating that these thoughts are about me?”
“That they are.” His smile gives you a golden star-shaped sticker for guessing correctly.
You give him a scowl. "I'll set you up with a new therapist, then."
“Let me ask you something,” he says, leaning forward, staring right into your soul. “Are you attracted to me too?”
“I’m not comfortable answering-”
“That’s not a ‘no’. Is it?”
You try to wipe the look of shock arousal off your face.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to admit it. I remember you asking a lot of questions about my sex life, especially the parts that don’t involve my wife, and getting visibly flustered when I answered them.”
“Of course I asked questions like that. I’m a therapist. It’s what I do. I’m sorry if you-” 
You should ask him to leave, separate yourself before you explode in frustration. Getting defensive is not a healthy way to argue. You know this. You've told him this.
“If I remember correctly you asked me about how I touch myself, when I do it, if I watch anything.” He doesn't wait for a response from you, but it wouldn't have come anyway. “And, the whole time you were sitting there chewing on your pen, pretending not to imagine it. And then writing it down in a hurry, making sure you got down every little detail.” He taps on your pad of paper.
“Can I see this for a moment?” He snags it from the table beside you and flips through the pages. Without thinking, you leap forward and try to snatch it from him, falling into his lap.
The embarrassing part is when he lifts you off of him. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
“It’s highly confidential!”
“Mr and Mrs. Kennedy,” he begins to read imitating your voice.
“Enough.” You use your sternest voice with him - which is far from stern.
“It says right here that Mr. Kennedy is 'a total dick’ but ‘totally fuckable’.”
“It does not!”
“You’re right. It doesn’t. But you were thinking it. Weren’t you?” He looks up with a smile on his face that’s both charming and cruel.
"I'm not playing whatever game you're trying to play with me right now, Leon."
It's the devil's edition of 20 questions, it seems.
He flips the pad closed, and says, “I’ll leave right now if you answer one question truthfully.”
“Fine," you huff, snatching the pad of paper and stashing it out of his reach.
“Did you go home and touch yourself while thinking about me?”
You shake your head vehemently. "No. Absolutely not."
“You couldn’t even make it home, huh? You did it right here, didn’t you?”
You don't have to answer - the look on your face gives it away.
“Was it on the couch? Right where I was sitting? Where I'm sitting right now."
“Fine. You win, you got it right. Are you happy now?” You concede because you want to end this conversation as quickly as possible, so you can go hide your face and die. 
You want him to fuck you within an inch of your life and then you'll die happily. La petite mort? That's what they call it, right? You want that.
Leon just hums in response, giving you no insight into his thoughts. Though it doesn't take a therapist to guess that he's mentally fucking you. To your surprise, he slaps his hands on his thighs and stands up.
When he gets to the door, you say, “Wait-”
“What?” He asks, nonchalant to such a degree that one might believe the events of the previous few minutes never transpired at all.
“What are you doing?”
“Leaving. Like I said I would.”
“You’re just gonna leave? Do you get off on embarrassing people? Is that it?”
“No. I get off to you, and you know that." He's oddly defensive despite having the upper hand. "I also know that a large part of you despises me, but it’s because there’s a part of you that wants to fuck me.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
He shrugs. “You’re the therapist, not me.”
“I’m telling your wife.”
“You’re going to tattle on me?" He laughs. “That wouldn’t be very HIPAA-compliant of you, would it?”
“Why are you doing this?" It feels like a nightmare that you can't escape where a terrifying shadowy figure is chasing you while you're screaming out for help and no one's listening. Except, this is more horrific due to the fact that you like it. Your thoughts about the man in front of you are downright depraved. You are both the monster, mirrors of each other. 
"I thought you wanted to fix your marriage," you say.
“My wife wants to fix our marriage. You and I both know it’s doomed. But you’re not allowed to say that, are you?”
You shouldn't be saying half the things you are right now, but it's too late to turn back now. You are the sunk cost. And the ship that was the concept of 'fixing Leon's marriage' has already sailed.
“You want the truth? I’ve known since the moment you opened your mouth that your marriage was done.”
“Then why did you keep having sessions? Was it for the money?” He pauses. “I doubt it. You’re a good therapist. You could get other clients. There was another reason. And, we both know what that reason is, but I won’t make you say it. I’m not that mean.”
“You’re an asshole.”
“And that’s what you like most about me.”
“It is not.”
“Then what is it?”
“Fuck you!”
“Do you want to? I wouldn’t be opposed.”
“Convince me.”
“Haven’t I already?”
“No.”
“Then why are you asking me to convince you instead of telling me to fuck off? You just want me to come up with a reason that doesn’t make you feel bad about doing it.”
“And there isn’t one.”
“No, there isn’t," he says with a bit of pity, knowing he's dragging you down into the second circle of Hell with him.
“You have to swear to tell your wife.”
“Is that a yes?”
He did not swear to tell his wife, but Leon is a cheater and a liar already. If he swore to tell his wife, you'd only be an idiot to believe him. 
“Lock the door.”
He turns around and flicks the lock. “Done.”
You stand up and his mouth is on yours. He’s the best kisser. Silver-tongued, you should've known it. You can fucking taste it too. Metallic. No, that's blood. You bit his lip hard enough to draw blood.
You’re the one who starts undressing him first but he doesn’t make fun of you. He helps you out of your top instead.
“Goddamn you have perfect tits. It’s a shame you always keep ‘em hidden.”
“It’s a professional environment.”
“Yeah, it’s so professional that you fuck your clients in it.”
“I’ve never done this before.”
"Don't worry. You’re not the first therapist I’ve fucked. I’ll lead.” Leon lays you down on the couch  - roughly, but cradling your head so you don’t knock it on anything. 
You gasp. "Leon, the couch is damp from your wet clothes," you whine.
"I promise it'll be soaked by the time I leave."
Before you can open your mouth, he’s kissing down your chest, making his way to your panties. His tongue is good at more than just talking. He has you unraveling within minutes, moaning obscenely.
“As much as love your pretty moans, baby, we’ve gotta be quiet. Don’t want you to get fired.”
“I deserve it.”
“No, you don’t. You’re a good therapist, and a good girl.”
“You think I’m a good girl?”
“So good. And you taste amazing.” He places a kiss on your clit and you nearly cry, having forgotten the feeling of his tongue in the mere seconds you spent without it. “I want you to come in my mouth.” He sucks on your clit until you do.
Leon's lips are dark and puffy when they meet yours - the ones on your face. He asks, “How did you imagine us doing it?”.
“Mostly me on top of you.”
“It’s a good idea, isn’t it?” he says, placing featherlight kisses from your jaw down your neck.
You shake your head. “None of this is.”
“I know. You've got morals. You’re a good girl.” He pauses before whispering into the shell of your ear, “That’s why you deserve to have me however you want me.”
His right hand is busy holding you steady so he fingers you with his left. You watch as his wedding band slips in and out of your pussy along with his middle finger, giving a double fuck you to his wife with each movement.
He seems fascinated by the squelching sounds, no longer focused on getting his dick inside you. The heavy rain outside covers up some of the noise but not enough to save you the embarrassment.
"Jesus. Just fuck me already." You try desperately to avoid sounding desperate, praying he takes your irritation at face value.
But you're too obvious, you wear your sick, sick heart on your sleeve. 
"You want my dick that bad and you haven't even seen it yet."
"I hope it's as big as your ego."
"No you don't. That'd be painful, medically concerning probably."
You want to laugh because he manages to be funny and charming as hell despite being an absolute dick, but that fact makes you hate him more. And the blood that courses through you has nowhere to go but south.
All the while, his fingers refuse to leave your aching center. "Leon," you whine, pushing his hand away, "you're gonna make me cum again."
"I know," he purrs. "I wanna make up for all the months you've spent here by yourself, with your fingers inside you instead of mine."
"I was pretending they were yours." There's no point in saving the confession anymore.
"I'm sure you were, but I've got somethin' better for you, baby."
And, abruptly, he removes his fingers. You watch him unbuckle his belt, and despite this being your fantasy, you look at him like he's betrayed you.
"What?" he says, coyly, "I thought you wanted this."
"I do, but I was about to cum, and you just took your fingers away. You're such an asshole!" You pout like a bratty child.
"Yeah, I know I am," he says - his words are muffled by the square packet he tears with his teeth. He slides on the rubber barrier before he picks you up and sits you down on his cock, disregarding the obscene noises you make as he shoves himself inside you all at once.
You're wet but there's a stretch. His dick is big, maybe not as big as his ego, but bigger than any you've taken before. This is how he gets away with it, you think.
"Fuck, you're tight," he groans. His hands have an iron grip on your hips. "You've gotta learn to loosen up and relax. You're too high strung. This is probably good for you."
It's not, you'll find when the orgasm wears off, but right now it feels really fucking good.
His thumb circles your clit while you bounce up and down, working well in tandem. Ironic, as you've made so little progress in your weekly sessions. As expected, the dual stimulation makes you slick with arousal, opening you up for him.
His voice sounds distant, droned out by your own moans which get even louder as his words get filthier. "Bet all your advice didn't work 'cause your brain was all fuzzy thinking about what my cock would feel like inside you. Or maybe you did it on purpose 'cause you wanted me all to yourself."
"No… n-no-" you say, voice trembling just as your thighs do.
"S'okay, baby. Girls with messy pussies like you can't help it. Just need to get some dick in you and then you can go back to being a good girl."
Can you? Maybe you can a 'good girl' in the bedroom, but a morally-upstanding woman? Even in your own eyes, he's corrupted you.
Still, you call out for him, "Leon," you cry, the singular syllable drawn out. You are lucky that the thunder from the storm is louder than your voice could ever be.
"I know," he says, "I'm close too."
The way your walls squeeze him when you cum drags his own orgasm from him. 
You are oddly dissatisfied at the fact that he spills into the condom, not into you. It feels so impersonal. Because it is. It doesn't escape you that he didn't say your name - not even a pet name - just a simple 'fuck' when he came.
You point him in the direction of the trashcan where he can throw away the physical evidence of the mess you've made.
His pants are back on in a second while you remain naked on the couch.
"Where are you going?"
"Home," he says. "Ashley's making dinner. Don't wanna keep her waiting."
"You're gonna go home to her?" you say, more disappointed than surprised.
"Yeah. What did you think I was going to do?"
Truly, you weren't thinking. If you were, you would not have had sex with Leon. 
"I'm surprised you're not happy. I'm gonna go spend some quality time with my wife. That was your advice - wasn't it?"
"Yeah, but-"
"But what? You're our marriage counselor. I'm just trying to fix my marriage."
"You're doing an awful job."
"I know," he says, with his hand on the doorknob. "See you on Wednesday."
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