#and if he hasn't got the time wouldn't that make his place messier?

[neverevan]

One thing I really appreciate about the set designers on 911 is Buck's loft... because they're telling on him so hard without realising it lmao

like no offence, but have you ever been to a straight guy's bachelor pad? One where he lives alone? That doesn't look like that.

The furniture, the cleanliness, the apron and the gloves, the cooking supplies, the decorative items, the plants, the throw pillows and pictures on the wall... I'm sorry to generalise, but not many cishet guys care about any of this stuff.

[catflowerqueen]

You know, given some things Moon and Sun have said--and the way that Sun reacted when he lost that one bet and was forced to clean Moon's lab--I'm starting to think that his obsession with cleanliness is less about eliminating messes like dirt or stains or whatever and more about wanting physical objects to be sorted and stacked into correct places. Like... he wouldn't necessarily care if the floor was muddy so long as the barrels got stacked properly?

I mean--in the "Moondrops sad origin story" video he admitted to letting kids put paint handprints on his face, and he apparently used to sample the glitter glue, so he doesn't seem to really have an aversion to being dirty, per say, and doesn't really go out of his way in that regard (though obviously he wants to make sure things are kid friendly and up to those types of sanitation standards).

Moon, though, I think is the opposite. While he doesn't care about things like blocks and barrels getting strewn about, he does seem to worry more about things like spills--see again the "sad origin story" episode where his response to that knowledge about Sun letting the kids paint him was to ask "is that why I had to clean you?" as well as the fact that he apparently had a lot of messy tests he was going to perform just so Sun would have to clean up after it as per the bet (indicating that one of the things stopping him from performing them earlier was likely due to being uncomfortable with such messes sticking around for any period of time), and the fact that he has mentioned cleaning Sun's room before in their old house.

Sun does seem to be the one who likes sipping oil the most (Moon does too, but whereas his go-to snack is the bolts, Sun tends to default to oil first when seeking or offering snacks), and that can get very messy very quickly.

...and blood factors in a bit uniquely to this, but I think it also explains a lot on its own? At least as far as ramifications go? Like... Moon knows how blood affects him, and given the way in which spilled blood stains and messes things, it makes sense why that would translate to Moon being more uncomfortable with liquid messes in general. Even if he doesn't care so much about the mess in and of itself, it would more be the associations that would bother him. But since Sun was always on clean-up duty after the fact and wasn't affected in the same way, while the messes would bother him due to the way they affect Moon and what it means for the humans who died or were injured in order for the blood to be there in the first place, it wouldn't really spark the same types of associations as it would for Moon in terms of why it needs to be taken care of ASAP. ...If that sort of logic makes sense.

Anyways, morbid thoughts aside--as far as the cleanliness scale in that regard goes, Lunar and Bloodmoon are both firmly on the "don't really care/don't see the point in cleaning" side of things (though apparently Bloodmoon does have at least some standards for what they consider to be disgusting--not that Lunar doesn't, but he hasn't exactly voiced any of them), and Eclipse is probably more on the "both loose objects and dirt bother me a lot" side of things, but I don't think it is quite to the same psychological extent as it is with Sun or Moon. He just likes things to be generally clean and orderly, though he doesn't mind getting his hands dirty when he needs to.

And is also weirdly averse to physical violence despite being really into weaponry. ...Possibly because physical violence is messier, now that I think about it.

[aneenasevla]

Spookengan 3 - The Cookie and the Cook

Previous / MasterPost

Made in Collab with @useless-bi-otch

Okubo knew Tomori long enough to know that when presented with a culinary challenge, she’d get carried away. And he also knew that when she got carried away, she had a tendency to overload herself until she get a little disoriented.

"Okay, first of all I have to dissolve the cornstarch… oh no, I forgot to leave the eggs at room temperature! No, that's fine, I can still work it out somehow, but… oh, where did I put the cream of tartar? It was there next to the food coloring and- Oh no, the batch is gonna burn!" And then she'd run right to the oven, her apron a mess, strands of hair escaping from the bun in which she'd tied it.

He asses the situation and looks at the state of the kitchen: dirty pots in the sink, a little flour sprinkled on the counter, as well as raw ingredients like sugar, essences, food coloring, all placed on one side of the table. On the other sid was an amalgamation of cutters, a rolling pin and a bunch of utensils he couldn't even name scattered all over the room. And, of course, the wonderful smell of assorted sweet things in the air.

Tomori, just like Kanami, was a full-fledged cook. He loved everything she baked, especially her cookies. But when she got into that half-manic state, he always got a little scared, almost as much as he was when it was time to catch up on his vaccines.

"Aah… oooh, they didn't burn, thank goodness..." She sighs in relief as she puts the baking sheet on the marble counter "That's a close call. C'mon, girl, take a deep breath…" She closes her eyes, inhaling and exhaling slowly, and then clapping her hands together, causing a loud sound that made him jump a little "Okay, back to work now! Do you think that's enough cookies, Naoh?"

"I think so…" he looks at the coffee table, where several boxes were already packed and piled "That's enough to feed five guys my size for a week… or an Ohma and a half, I guess, if he's not in the mood for sweet stuff..."

"Yeah, I went overboard, but when it comes to parties, it's better to have too much food than too little", she decrees, picking up a bowl and small bottles of gel food coloring; there were so many that they occupied an exclusive drawer in her kitchen cabinet "Now comes the most delicate part of the process: the icing. I've already made so many ghosts, pumpkins, tombstones and skulls... and I don't think they'll complain about a few more black cats, right? I'll say that they are representations of Medeyami and Dorobo, haha… How about something from 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' in these bigger ones…? Ugh, but do these go more with Halloween or Christmas? Damn, there are so many sources of inspiration that I don't even know where to look!

"Hey, hey…", he puts a hand on her shoulder "first things first, let's wait for the cookies to cool down, shall we? You almost burned your hands with the previous two batches. Seriously, Tomori, you've been in this frenzy all morning..."

"Well, obviously! These cookies are for a party Kana hasn't thrown in years! Now that she's back at getting excited for her birthday and for Halloween, I can't miss the opportunity", She points to all the boxes and utensils "I'm also not doing other things like candy and donuts just because she threatened to convince my parents to lock me in a psych ward..."

"And I wouldn't blame her, for God's sake. Seriously, babe, give it a rest" Okubo looks at the mess, scratching his head "And I'm suspecting that we'll need to fix this before an accident happens. Lihito even told me that Akane's stove was destroyed after they had a gas problem..."

"No, I can't take a break! I'm in charge of making these cookies, and without a team to help, I have to work double to meet the deadline! And believe me, I've worked in messier kitchens. I'm still accident free…" She says as she puts the dirty utensils in the sink, trying to carry several things at once. And then almost droped a glass bowl on the floor, if it wasn't for Okubo's reflexes.

"See, that's exactly what I was talking about..." he rolls his eyes "Let's just clean everything first, c'mon…" he looks at her, still holding the bowl, and then looks at the utensil in his arms "You sure I can't help?"

Still embarrassed by her slip-up, she gives him a sideways glance, pouting "I said you can help me clean up the kitchen after I'm done. You don't know much about cooking and baking, you said so yourself..."

He chuckles and hugs her from behind, bending down a little to look at her from above "Alas, Your Shortness, you taught me how to make basic homemade food without burning my kitchen down. Don’t you think you’re giving me too little credit by thinking I'm not good enough to help you with that too? I saw you taking the stepladder to reach the sprinkles in the upper cupboard, ya know...? I felt insulted..."

" 'Your Shortness?!' Why, you big meathead…!” She huffs, squeezing her mouth shut, clearly trying hard not to laugh "Look, I know you like it when I climb or ride you, but there's a time and place for these things, you pervert", She jokes, poking him in the nose with a fingertip "Fine then, how do you intend to help me?"

“I don't know yet, but it involves washing the dishes and telling you to take a shower before tidying up to complete the task. You even have flour in your hair… is that a…?", he takes something out of her hair, sniffing it "... Oh, it’s a half-melted chocolate chip."

"Oh, I've had much worse things stuck in my hair after these hyperfocus bouts of mine. You'd think I'm even more nuts than I look right now", She shrugs "I even spilled food coloring on it once… hey!" She widens her eyes a little "I know how you can help me! Are you up to do some art?"

"Well, maybe..." he gives her a big, dumb smile "I don't consider myself an artist other than a martial artist, but…" he grips the sides of her hips "I can try it later. I've heard my massages are a work of art, after all."

“What…? Ah! Not that kind of art!" She pats his hand, blushing but still laughing. And then adds: "… Okay, maybe later. But right now, I want those yaoi hands of yours helping me with the food coloring. Wanna help me mix them up like we're back at preschool?"

"Wow. Here I am, eager to please, and all you say is that I have gay hands", he jokes, laughing and looking at his own hands, then shaking his head "Eh, I can do that... let's wash these bowls, I think you'll need them, right?" He points to the pile of glass bowns next to the sink "And I heard that, miss. You, saying 'maybe later'..."

"Yea, I'll need'em. A cook's life can be summed in twenty percent cooking, eighty percent washing dishes. And..." She plays with his fingers, her tone getting sultry "Of course you heard me. If you hadn't, or if you didn't take the opportunity right after, I would've asked who you are and what you did to my Naoya" She picks up a cookie from the most recent batch, offering it to him with an adorable pout "Here you go. For helping me loose up and laugh it off when I was about to go crazy…"

He catches the cookie with his mouth, half of it sticking out, inviting her to take a bite. She immediately obliges, giving an adorable little growl, batting her eyelashes. He anwers with a low laugh and pulls his head, breaking the cookie in two pieces "It's delicious as always. Both the cookie and the cook."

She gives him a peck as she chews, giggling. At this rate she’d never want to bake by herself ever again...

Next Chapter Here

[vannybarber]

Make Up Your Mind

Summary: You're ready, but Chris is making it seem like he isn't.

Words: 1.4k

Warnings: angst, SMUT, swearing, implied smut, insults.

Your body finally acknowledged the soreness between your legs when you get up to move to Chris' bathroom. You reach for a wash cloth on the rack and clean yourself up. Chris follows behind you with a shit eating grin on his face, clearly reminiscing the previous events.

Chris and you have been friends for about 2 years after working with him in Knives Out. You guys' childish personalities clicked right away and were literally each other's best friends. Only about 7 months back, you boldly told him that you wanted to fuck him. He was nothing less than down and you guys have been friends with benefits ever since.

Well up until recently. You both started acting like real couple. Going out to nice restaurants, touching in public, spending nights at each other houses and visiting each other's families. You both were enjoying the feeling of being together all the time, even without an official label.

Being around him so much grew out even more feelings. Not friendly feelings. But more intimate and longing feelings. To be with him. As his girl. More than just a friend to talk to. More than a nice body to play with.

There had been too many internet speculations asking why you guys don't just date already. Hell, you were asking the same damn question. But unfortunately, you know why. And you hate it.

"That little freaky number you did in there was something else, Y/N. 'Thou art truest freak' in the words of Shakespeare." He laughs, watching for your reaction. You just look at him smiling and shaking your head. The things that come out this man's mouth. You know damn well Shakespeare never said that shit.

"I told you from the start, boo. I know how to put it down." He eagerly agrees, hanging his wash cloth up and checking his fingers.

You observe him through the mirror. His bushy auburn eyebrows furrowed together while he picks at his nails. His sharp narrow nose that you feel against your right cheek everytime you guys make out. His beautiful red lips you've felt in many places on your body, preferably in places your eyes can't see. And his eyes. The ones that hold so much purity and happiness. Those perfect eyes.

This man is everything you want, but he just wasn't ready. That's the catch. That's the thing you absolutely hated. He had major commitment issues and people around you had more of a chance in anything than him ever settling down. It literally caused you physical pain. Because you couldn't change his feelings, no matter how many conversations you guys had or how good you fucked him.

Walking back into the room, you grab your bodycon dress you came over in and put it back on your body. You gather all your other articles of clothes throwing them into your handbag and take it out into his living room. He follows behind you in his grey sweatpants and dark green t-shirt. He always looks so perfect.

You flop on the couch and turn on the T.V.

"You wanna watch The Little Mermaid again, boo?" You turn around looking at him, seeing him raid the cabinets for snacks.

"Do you even have to ask me that?" He yells back when he finds his chips. You chuckle and start the movie.

"NO DON'T START IT YET I'M NOT READYYYY!"

"THEN GET YOUR SLOW ASS OVER HERE!" you yell back at him. His level of immaturity isn't even visible because of how high it is. It's unmatched.

After a few moments, he finds his way on the couch next to you with your double stuffed Oreos and apple juice, passing it to you. He had his veggie sticks cause he's so damn picky.

You both get comfortable and turn your attention to the movie.

After some time, it's the scene were Sebastian is encouraging Eric to kiss Ariel. You wish the real Sebastian would come over and convince Chris to be with you. Maybe he'd listen. Just the thought irritates you.

You huff lowly in annoyance. Chris notices but doesn't say anything. You always got frustrated at this part cause he took FOREVER to finally kiss her. So he brushes it off. Nothing he hadn't seen before.

While the movie was playing, you were getting even more frustrated in that moment. Chris had his arm behind your back and hand resting on your hip, laughing at Flounder. It was like he was playing a game with you that he didn't know he was even apart of. You shifted away from him a little. You hated feeling this way.

Little to your knowledge, Chris was watching you in the corner of his eye. He watched you as your mind raced and move constantly. Your eyes move around a lot when you think hard. He knew something was up.

"Jellybean, what's up?" You turn and look at him, pushing away the feeling the nickname presented you inside. He gave it to you after you bought him a Starburst jellybean gift basket to celebrate the end of you guys' filming.

"What do you mean? I'm fine" you lie right in his face. Like a complete idiot because he can see right through you. You turn back to watch the movie, but he grabs the remote and pauses it.

You roll your eyes, knowing very well he isn't letting this go. Why do you find yourself in these situations? You always end up fishing for trouble and you're not even using bait. It just comes to you. You scratch your head trying to come up with a way to dissolve the situation.

"When are you going to stop trying to lie to me, princess?" Another name he gave you. You prefer it over 'jellybean'. It made your body flutter even more. But at this point, you were tired of faking. Tired of covering up your feelings. Tired of being less than what you wanted to be to him.

Wasting no time, you take a deep breathe and spill.

"You know what Chris? I like you. There. I said it." You slap your hands down on your lap as you spoke.

"And I don't mean as a friend or as a fuck buddy. I've felt this way for a very long time. Even before we started having sex. I thought us doing this would make us closer, possibly forming a relationship."

You glance at him and continue when he doesn't say anything. He just looks at you.

"But it hasn't gone anywhere. I'm tired of faking my feelings towards you. I'm tired of coming over here acting like I just want sex when I want more. Way more."

By the time you finish, your head is down and your fingers are playing with the end of your dress. You cannot bring yourself to look up at him. You couldn't bear the rejection. All you hear are his quiet breaths. You fucked up.

Chris is a real talker. He could talk his ass off for hours into the next day. The fact that he isn't saying anything right now has you absolutely terrified, but ultimately embarrassed. You did this all for nothing.

"Y/N, I- I don't...uh" he stumbles over his words. That's all you needed to hear. You didn't need to bathe in it any longer.

You jump up off the couch, not forgetting to grab the cookies and juice, stick them in your bag and head over to your shoes. Chris is right on your tail calling you, trying to get you to stop.

"Hey princess wait" he calls behind you.

"Chris it's fine. I'm just gonna head home. I'm a little tired." Your soreness was the last of your worries, barely even feeling it anymore. You made an absolute fool of yourself and now you couldn't go back. It was a done deal.

"Come on, baby. I didn't mean to-"

"Chris!" You raise your voice at him. He shuts his mouth right away. Your shoes are on and keys in hand. "Its okay. I just don't feel good. I'll call you later. Tomorrow maybe."

You block out anything else he was saying and step out the door heading to your car. He didn't even try to stop you. He fucked up and it didn't need to get messier than it already was. He watched in guilt as you pull out his driveway and down the street.

You drive in complete silence. Normally, you'd be blasting Partition on the way after getting dicked down, but that was not the case. And it wouldn't be for a while.

Part 2 coming really soon 🤩!

[hollanderfangirl]

My Purpose |Harry Holland|

Warnings: angst, suicide attempt and mentions of death, please DON'T read if it's triggering for you

It was all too much. You couldn't take it anymore. First the breakup then your job. You had been holding on for so long, trying so hard, but it seemed as if there was nothing left to live for. You had no purpose left in this world. You had been feeling like this for months, you didn't tell anyone, just burying your feelings inside. 

You were walking home from your office, or what was your office, anyway. You were never going back there now. 

You see the crowded street, all the people who were in a hurry, chasing something, someone. You thought about all these people, who they were, why they were even holding on, what was their purpose? 

Don't they all see? Why are they so happy? You think. We're brought up to expect a happy ending. But there are no happy endings. There's only death waiting for us. We find love and happiness, and it's snatched away from us without any rhyme or reason. We're on a deserted spaceship careening mindlessly among the stars. 

You keep walking aimlessly, you took the train or bus every other day. But today you decide to walk home, or wherever you were going. You stop at a bridge on the way, usually you would come here to admire nature. You felt so peaceful hearing the roar of the river underneath, water hitting the rocks. You could hear the noise of the traffic far away and the birds chirping. The sun was setting behind you and the world seemed to come to a stop. 

You climb on the edge of the bridge, seeing the river below you. You wonder how it would be to fall into it, it'll be cold, you might hit your chest, you won't be able to breathe. You'll be struggling for life. And then poof. You'll be gone. Just like every single person on this earth eventually. 

You close your eyes, feeling the cold breeze, you try to stop your thoughts but you couldn't. In those last moments you had in this lifetime, you think about your family, your friends, your childhood, you try to think about only the good memories, your job- you loved it so much, all of your colleagues, your work you were so passionate about. 

And him. Who gave you so much love, who showed you what love actually is. Who gave you purpose, he was your purpose. But he was gone now, not literally but he turned out to be just like every other person in your life. You thought he was different. The man who showed you the world is such a beautiful place was the reason today you were thinking how cruel it actually is. You could still feel how his hands felt in yours, how his lips felt on yours. How his deep voice was music to your ears in the morning. His voice….. his voice…..you could still listen to his voice. Y/n...how he said your name, like it was the most- 

"Y/NNNN!!!" 

You get startled and slip on the bridge, you start to panic, even though you were planning on jumping from the bridge, you couldn't help but get scared when that was actually about to happen. 

A pair of hands grab you, and you realise what you were about to do, you immediately feel guilty, you were not even thinking clearly. 

"What the hell were you doing?!" Harry calls out from behind you. 

You were silent, it all happened so quickly, and you just tried to recall the last 30 seconds. You feel the goosebumps on your arms and even though you were sweating, you felt cold. So cold. 

"Y/n oh my god, oh my god. Are you okay?" he says again but you still couldn't say anything. "Come on, I'll take you home. Come with me," he picks you up and takes you to his car. 

You were silent all the way to his house. You didn't even have any thoughts to think about. You were still shocked and processing what happened. It was like you weren't even yourself for the past few hours, you didn't feel like yourself even now. Your mind was completely blank, you were feeling absolutely nothing when your ex boyfriend just saved you from killing yourself and was now driving you to his house. You weren't happy, you weren't mad, you weren't sad. Just nothing. 

You enter the house which you called your home for two whole years. Everything was still the same, except it was a little messier. You knew Harry couldn't take care of the house all by himself. The only feminine products you see were yours which you had left behind. So he hasn't been with anyone else ever since too, you think. 

You sit down on the bed which you both had shared and you feel a sense of belonging, like you were finally starting to feel emotions again. 

"Here…" Harry hands you his hoodie, careful not to touch you. "I'll just go and make dinner, pasta, right? It's- um it's your favourite" 

"I don't want to eat" 

"Okay" 

He sits down beside you, not saying another word. You look at the bedside table and see a framed photo of you both, you were smiling at the camera while Harry was kissing your cheek. He still kept this photo. 

"I lost my job," you say slowly. You finally spoke after who knows how many hours. 

"Oh…I- um.. I'm so sorry, y/n" 

"I didn't know what to do. I was… . so...and- " you break into tears and Harry takes you into his arms. With your head on his chest, you cry out all of the distress you had been feeling for the past few hours. Days. Months. Ever since you had left him. Every single moment was hard for you. 

"It's ok, it's ok. I'm here for you," he caresses your hair and kisses your forehead. "I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry y/n. I was such a dick, I- I didn't even know what you were going through. I didn't even understand that you needed me" 

"It doesn't matter now. What we had is in the past" 

"It matters to me! It… matters ok?! I almost lost you today! I would have never forgiven myself if something happened to you!" 

He was also crying now, you didn't know you meant this much to him. You thought he wouldn't even care. 

"Please don't….don't ever scare me like that okay? I was fucking scared" 

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking, Harry! You have no idea what these past few months have been for me, I try to forget you but I can't. I just can't! And now, the job that I loved so much is gone, it's gone!" 

"Then don't" 

"Don't what?" 

"Forget me. Don't forget me, you know it was a stupid argument. We should have never broken up because of it" 

"It wasn't the argument, Harry, it was what you said" 

"Well just like you said, I wasn't thinking at that time" 

You both sit in silence for the longest time, you felt relieved that you let your feelings out, you let everything out, even though you were crying and were sad or whatever now, you were just glad that you were feeling something. 

"Can we go back?" you whisper. 

"Where?"

"To us" 

"Yeah… god, yes, yeah. Yes please" 

"Okay"  

"And we'll find you another job, okay. Even better than this one, don't worry about that. And don't ever think of doing something like that, okay? You are more important than anything else" he was holding so tightly you felt like you would break, but you preferred this to anything else right now.

You slept in Harry's arms again after what felt like an eternity. You promised to yourself that night that no matter how hard life got, no matter what happened, you were going to live. You would find purpose again and live. Just live. 

We always think that being happy is all you need in life. That chasing happiness is life's ultimate goal, but you can't choose when you get to be happy. It's something that is not in your hands. But having a purpose will help you get through the darkest of days, the most hurtful sorrows.

You felt peaceful for the first time in a long, long time. You had found your purpose, he was your purpose.

___________

A/N: I'm not trying to glorify suicide or anything, it's a very serious topic and please know that whatever happens, nothing is more worth than your life. No matter what happens, there is always someone out there who will never ever forgive themselves if something happens to you. Please let your feelings out, talk to someone you trust, believe in yourself. Everything will be alright.

Taglist-

@mischiefmanaged011 @notsosmexy @perspectiveparker @justanothermarvelmaniac @missguidedlani @purpleskiesstorm @halfblood-princess-505 @spidey-reids-2003 @peterspideysstuff @musicalkeys @theliterarymess @ilarbu

[hoopdiddies]

I'm Not Over You // Ben Hardy x Reader (Part 2)

Summary: You had always loved Ben ever since you two met at university and became the best of friends. That feeling went out like a candle flame when the two of you parted ways until he re-entered your life...but this time with someone who has already occupied his heart.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, FlUFf, AnGst. Just one mention of alcohol.

WC:2184

A/N: Irrelevant but omg tomorrow's the Endgame premiere. Please pray for my grieving soul.

Tags: @mrsmazzello , @likeit-or-leaveit

"Hey Joe, I'm going to get something from the car. Mind if I borrow your keys?" You ask Joe who's enjoyed a few drinks but hasn't intoxicated himself. He nods in a lousy way and fish his car keys from his back pocket, dropping it onto your open palm. "Bronze key."

"Thanks, Maz." You ruffle his fiery red hair and leave it a mess, making your way back into the kitchen and through the living room. You had expected to at least find Ben close by but he's probably somewhere else. The guests are gradually leaving anyway so that could be a good thing. Upon reaching the front door and swinging it open, you gasp breathlessly at the sight of Ben standing in front of you.

"Oh god, you scared me." You plant your hand on your chest as to catch your breath and punch his arm jokingly. He rubs his nape, chewing on his bottom lip as a playful smile dares to take form on his face. "Yikes, sorry, Y/N. You were little jumpy there."

"No kidding." You raise an eyebrow as you zip past him, in a rush to get to Joe's car.

"Wait, where are you going?" He calls out and you turn, juggling Joe's keys carelessly. "Just going to get something in Joe's car."

With the amused smile still plastered on his face, he glances sideways and strides over to your side. "I'll go with you."

"I think I'm capable of crossing the street, Ben." You fold your arms together yet to no avail he spins you around and leads you across the empty street to Joe's car, squeezing your hand. Your brows furrow at his eagerness but at the same time, you feel your blood accumulate in your face as the way his fingers entwine around yours triggers a weird spark between you.

However elating it feels, you wonder where Rosy is.

"I know, but I had to tell you something, right?" He looks at you over his shoulder with a lopsided smile and you nod, avoiding eye contact. Upon reaching Joe's car, you pull out the bronze key and unlock the driver's seat to retrieve your wallet from the dashboard.

Afterwards, you slam the door shut and secure the lock, slowly turning to Ben to prompt him to talk. He inhales sharply and shoves his hands into his back pockets. "See, I wanted some advice from you. And a little verbal encouragement." He averts his gaze from yours, leaning towards the hood of the car.

Your brows couldn't be any more higher than they already are. "Did you and Rosy bicker?"

"No. But yes. It is about Rosy." It's almost as if he nearly hesitated to say her name but you could've been just hearing things. You encourage him to go on and he does, lacking the will to look you in the eye thereby giving you the inkling that he wants something to progress between them.

"Thing is, do you think I'm ready?" He finally looks at you directly and you smirk. "Ready for what?"

"For you know...that life."

"You're not making any sense, Ben."

He scratches the side of his nose and swears underneath his breath, letting out a faint chuckle. "I'm not good at this."

"Just build up the words right."

"Okay, do you think I'm ready for a new life with her? You know," and out of the fear that he might say the thing you now dread the most, you unconsciously hold your breath in, "settling down?"

It takes a good five seconds for you to fully comprehend the latter words and just as Ben is about to snap his fingers to bring you back to reality, you heave out a rough exhale and force a supportive smile at him. "If you want to, of course."

"What would I be like as a husband?" He just had to ask. Had he meant that in the fictional situation where you were in the place of Rosy, you would have a definite answer. But he's asking you as a friend. As someone who knows you and looks at you from a sibling-like perspective.

You feel yourself crumble from the inside as you open your mouth to answer. "You as a husband? Oh god, the horrors!" You joke to mask the pain.

He rakes his hand through his hair and plays along. "Come on, Y/N. Silly idea but I wanna hear it from you."

"Why me? Why not the girl who inspired you to ask this?"

He takes a light step forward and rubs your shoulders, having his green eyes burn through you. "Because you've known me longer."

Yes, I have. But why did you still pick her? The inner voice in your head cries out. The only rational thing you could do now is be here for him. As you always have. No matter how painful it is, you love him enough to support him with this.

"You as a husband? You wouldn't be perfect, " you pause to look down but after doing so resume, "you'd have your fights, temper tantrums and frankly, I doubt you could be a lot less messier in the morning."

"Y/N-"

"But your ability to love makes up for your imperfections, Ben. I know of Rosy's little episodes and despite her being a mess sometimes, being moody and hard to handle, you loved her regardless," you gently press your palm against Ben's cheek, caressing his skin softly, "you'd be the husband whom she'd wait for at the door every night."

Touched by how delicately you delivered your words, he takes you by surprise and hugs you tight. Your eyes widen for a couple of seconds before finally surrendering to his the beat of his heart, wrapping your arms around him too. No matter how bittersweet the situation is.

You've lived through Ben being that way. He truly is someone you'd always wait for at the door. Someone you wish to wait for.

"How come you're still single?" He asks amusingly and you look up to prevent the tears from falling. "I'm not."

Wait a minute.

Ben quickly releases you from his hold and his expression shifts instantly. "Who's the guy?" He asks you directly and you still haven't recovered from what you just said. In a daze, you ask back. "What?"

"You said you're not single anymore. Who's the lucky guy?"

Why did you say that? You haven't got a clue as to why, it was probably some kind of involuntary thing to fight back the hurt but now that there's no taking back what you said, you play along awkwardly. The somehow bright idea of pretending to be in a relationship to compensate for being in a hopeless situation popping into your mind.

"Um...um. Uh.." You can't think of anyone decent enough but luckily, and unluckily at the same time, you spot Joe jogging across the street over to you and reluctantly, you answer Ben's question.

"Joe!" You say out loud, catching Ben off guard and confusing an approaching Joe. "Hey...guys. What are you two still doing out here?" Joe, clueless to what you just said, asks.

You glance awkwardly at Joe and pull him close to your side. "Yeah, Joe and I are together." You say out of nowhere, making Joe do double-take at you to make sure he's hearing you correctly. Ben's eyes fall as a smile forms on his face. "That's awesome! Since when?"

Just as Joe begins to protest, you answer abruptly before he could utter a word. "Just last week. Sorry for not telling you earlier. We've dated for a while, often so when you and I don't hang out." You swear you could just toss yourself in the middle of the road and hope for a truck to run you over.

As being the only one who knows how you really feel about Ben, Joe seems to catch your drift instantly and what you're trying to pull, so he decides to play along.

"Is that right, mate?" Ben asks curiously and Joe nods in the most casual way possible. "Yeah. Been seeing this lovely girl for a while now."

"I see."

"Ben, darling! There you are!" You close your eyes as you hear Rosy call out from a feet across. Ben shrugs meekly before whisking past you and Joe in his way to Rosy.

"Hey babe, sorry. I was just helping Y/N with something." He smiles down at her. She gives you an almost curt glance and smiles back at Ben. "It's alright. Let's get back inside, it's cold out here."

"Yeah."

You apologize to Joe quietly for involving him in your mess yet he doesn't mind, as long as he's helping you get over it. You suddenly feel the need to get back home to recharge your batteries and escape the unwanted strains you get from seeing Ben and Rosy in each other's arms.

You walk towards them and huff. "Hey, uh, Ben? We better get going. I'm so sorry if I can't stay any longer but I have work tomorrow."

He turns his body to you fully and by the looks of it, he's quite disappointed that you have to go so soon. "Oh. Are you sure?"

You nod and he sighs, giving you one last embrace for the night. "If you have to. Thank you for coming and the gift. You have no idea how much it means to me everytime you're around." You ought to slap yourself everytime Ben says something that just breaks you into two. You rest your head over his shoulder and smile softly. "Of course. Thanks for the time as well. Happy Birthday again."

You pull away deliberately and give him and Rosy one last smile before walking back to Joe. He opens the driver's seat for you and you get in, clipping the seatbelt over yourself.

Accepting that you're now in the arms of someone as trustworthy as Joe, Ben smiles crookedly at him."Don't break her heart. That's just one rule, okay?"

"Never been one to do that. Don't worry." Joe reassures with a wink and gets in after you, the two of you waving at Ben and Rosy before driving off. You immediately take out your phone to text Lucy and Gwilym about your rush to leave the party. After doing so, you place your phone on your lap and cover your face with your hands.

"I'm curious, what prompted you to lie to him about being in a relationship with me?" As eager as ever to hold back a laugh, he asks, keeping his eyes firm on the road.

You throw your head back against the seat and tut. "He thought of proposing to Rosy."

"Seriously?"

"He didn't actually say that, per se. But he gave a clear hint. It didn't even seem like a hint."

"But what if he does propose," he adjusts his rearview mirror all the while stealing glimpses of you, "because I can tell you, when a guy implies like that, it's go time." You shrug weakly, "What can I do but be there for him? Yes it'll hurt, a lot, but seeing him happy is enough."

"Are you sure? You've known Ben longer, heck even loved him longer. Why didn't you ever tell him?" Now that Joe's brought up the question, you begin rethinking what could've been had you told him.

You didn't want to ruin what you already had. Your friendship with Ben was already considered a strong bond, it was on all levels...except romantic. You feared it might have just caused a riff in your relationship and damage what you've built with him through the years.

What if he does propose?

Would you still be strong enough to be around him?

You look out the window and trace your finger across the glass. "It's complicated, Joe."

"Okay," Joe exhales softly and raises his brows at you, pressing his lips to a hard line, "if you're tired, feel free to doze off. You look bummed." You smile at him and pat his hand that's on the gear lever, leaning against the window afterwards to take a nap through the drive back.

--

By the time you arrived home, you give Joe a kiss on the cheek and thank him for the night and particularly for saving your ass when you couldn't think of someone to name as your "boyfriend" at that moment. He bids you good night and drives off.

You kick the door to your apartment open and toss your shoes aside, flopping like a pancake onto the couch and feeling your phone buzz from your back pocket. You take it out and find one message from Lucy, two from Gwilym and...one from Ben.

You narrow your eyes as you skip the first, three messages to read Ben's and find yourself unwillingly tear up at one simple text from him.

Hhhh- Ben:

We finally found our soul mates like we once swore. Thanks for bein here, love. Good night, love you.

Your eyes gloss over those two words once more.

,love you.

If only he knew.

(Part 3 will be posted tomorrow...after I come out of the theatre wheezing uwu)