#and im the only person willing to constinuously humiliate myself by begging to let me help her | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dubiousdisco · 2 years

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BRO my mom just told me she went to check on my sister because I needed to take these 2 days off and my sister asked her if I have ever done anything for her

You know how mom's anxiety is off the roof even with the intense treatment we do at home, she said she will tell me more later because right now the thought of the subject is making her so anxious she can't speak, Im just,

There are so many things here

#bothering our sick mother instead of asking me #or trying to remember?????#the fact that I couldn't check on her because after what she said i'm sick again and I needed a day or two #so my mom had to go #the fact that she will not see this as love of care from mom's oart or realize that mom had to do this because this is what I do daily #and if she does she wont think of it as anything #the fact that yesterday I was feeling guilty over suddenly feeling so well and full of energy #because it was the first time in 3+ years I wasnt basically doing a 3 hours long therapy sessiok with her through the phone #boy she needs a therapist and It cant be me it was only ever me for that long because she was high risk #and she wouldnt accept nobody else because she didnt want help #and im the only person willing to constinuously humiliate myself by begging to let me help her #like she wants to #but honestly yesterday i concluded that shes well enough I need to stop doing this so she can get a real therapist and recover #family members being your therapists is bad for several reasons and I felt like a fraud doing this but I didnt want her to die #eh.

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