#because it was the first time in 3+ years I wasnt basically doing a 3 hours long therapy sessiok with her through the phone

[dubiousdisco]

BRO my mom just told me she went to check on my sister because I needed to take these 2 days off and my sister asked her if I have ever done anything for her

You know how mom's anxiety is off the roof even with the intense treatment we do at home, she said she will tell me more later because right now the thought of the subject is making her so anxious she can't speak, Im just,

There are so many things here

[crushedsweets]

Do you have any headcanons of Lyra and Toby’s relationship?

this has been in my inbox for like over a week by now because this is a big task in my head. i will focus more on the family itself, but obviously the siblings r there.

ROGERS FAMILY HCS UNDER THE CUT... tw for abuse and addiction, of course

ok. WE'RE GETTING PERSONAL HERE. im the eldest daughter of 3 so the way in which i project into older siblings is insane. ive also had an addict father(no where near like frank though let me clarify) so in general . . the story.. makes me feel very...... basically their relationship is very personal to me.

lyra is about 2-3 years older than toby.

frank's dad was in the vietnam war, his grandparents were in wwii, his grandparents in wwi, etc. so he went into military service right after marrying connie. for a long while, he was SUPER military strict. those kids were up, made their bed, and down for chores by 6am everyday. he made them do military time rather than civilian time. he was incredibly traditional, expected a perfectly clean household, a polite soft daughter, a strong bold son, perfect wife. he wanted the 1950s nuclear family model. so toby and lyra grew up in a very clean, strict, traditional household.

in my au, frank wasnt outright abusive until the kids were around 8-11. it was after he developed his addictions and lost his job. the kids really didnt understand what was changing at first, and legitimately were like 'omg dad isnt making us wake up at 5am everyday..... this is so cool'.

theyd start having sleepovers in eachothers room, slacking a bit on chores, going to sleep late, sleeping in. toby didnt develop his tourettes until he was around 7, so lyra and toby would walk home from their elementary school together. sometimes, theyd walk another friend home first, stop at convenience stores to get candy, pet a cat, etc. frank didnt say a thing for the first few months, just drunken grumbles along connies worried 'WHERE HAVE U BEEN'. if they weren't walking around the area, they were in the backyard playing soccer.

eventually the abuse began, and all of those little freedoms were quickly stripped from the kids.

toby developing tourrettes around this time was a painful coincidence, because not only did he experience abuse at home, but awful bullying at school. he was promptly pulled out after completing 3rd grade. he was only 8.

lyra would practically run home from school everyday, as fast as a 12 year old girl with a backpack could manage, just because she spent all 7 hours in school worrying about toby at home. connie had to start working to pay bills, so..

when toby was around 11 and lyra was around 13, toby started kinda just. being more distant. he was kind of a dick to lyra for a period of time, half because of everything he was going through, half because puberty is rough. his room started getting messy, lyra had to start picking up chores he was slacking on , etc. lyra isnt perfect and began to resent toby for this, and eventually, the two were kinda at eachothers throats for like 6 months. which isnt a lot, but for kids, its an eternity.

when franks abuse evolved from ''just'' verbal abuse, to shoves, to slaps, to full on beatings, toby started egging frank on. just to get him off of lyra and connie. obviously he couldnt feel it, and while it sure took a fucking mental toll, it was so much easier to just wait it out rather than listen to the girls cry.

lyra didnt even realize toby was doing this for a while, she just thought it was all part of him going through his little hormonal asshole phase, until one day frank made a fucked up comment about 'youre lucky that boy is always causing trouble. was supposed to be you'. then it kinda clicked and she very quickly tried to fix their relationship back to what it was.

frank eventually scared connie so badly that there'd be periods of time where she'd take the kids in the middle of the night, and run off to either her parents place, or even a random hotel in another city. she'd use cash, force the kids to keep their phones at home, leave literally everything behind and often make the kids pick out new toothbrushes at a random walmart. etc. it would only last a few days each time, and lyra fought so hard to stay strong while her mom cried and toby closed himself off.

she'd try to get toby to come to the hotel pools with her, try to get him to watch tv with her, try to get him to just fucking talk to her. he was often catatonic during these little runaways, once the confusion adrenaline and fear wore off

it wasnt until they went around a month without seeing their father, and frank had some weird fucking. 'those are MY kids too' thing and went to connie's parents house while all the adults were out, and forced the kids back home. this was the first time lyra was full on sobbing and begging and pleading in years. that was what shifted something in toby, too.

now tobys 13, lyras 15, and theyre on better footing. theyre starting to understand eachother. tobys back on keeping up with chores, knowing that either him lyra or connie was going to get beat if they were missed. sometimes he'd just silently come into lyras room and lay down and watch tv with her. they'd talk about books, about school, their trust was built right back up and toby ended up being the first to know about lyras school drama, gossip, boys, etc.

toby wasn't really socialized properly, since he's been homeschooled for 6 years by now. all the time, he'd hear lyras stories, and wish he could go to school. his mom would be horrified anytime toby asked, because all she could remember was her sweet boy coming home and crying into her arms after a day of being mocked and pushed around by peers.

so he began to live through lyra, in a sense ? he almost became a diary for lyra, and he kinda loved it. she was like a sitcom to him.

frank wasnt a good father by any means during this period, he was still awful, but he wasn't constantly looking for trouble. the kids kept to themselves, connie did everything she was expected to, he didnt give a shit about their grades or social lives. he couldn't even recgonize when lyra was coming home late.

lyra got her license the second she turned 16. the house had two cars, and its not like frank was ever going anywhere, so she was always going everywhere. she adored the freedom, and took toby wherever he'd let her. he only really left the house if he was going grocery shopping with his mom or something, so it was kinda weird now that he was just. going to malls. going to restaurants. going to parks. just Hanging Out. every now and again he'd stick around when Lyra was with her friends, but he didn't like them so it was rare.

sometimes theyd just drive together for a long time. at night, she was the one to take him to every hospital visit, she even got him to volunteer at a pet shelter she worked at for a bit. 3 years and they become so close again, and lyra is tobys best friend. she's his entire world because who else does he have ? he loves his mom, but she's married to the man he hates more than anything

toby was 16 and lyra was 18 when frank strangled toby till he passed out. thats finally when connie kicked frank out, forcing frank to go live on his moms couch. lyra was mortified and started spending an absurd amount of time with toby. she took online community college courses just so she could spend even more time with toby, and it didnt hurt to do so since frank wasnt there anymore. things were getting better for the family, frank was gone, lyra was in college, connie was working, toby was volunteering at shelters and even had a few acquaintances he'd talk to now and again.

lyra picked toby up from the shelter he volunteered at when the accident happened.

lyra and connie had matching silver necklaces with a circle pendant that had their initials. toby didnt cuz frank would get pissed if toby tried wearing jewelry, but when lyra died, toby immediately clung to it. he wears it religiously. the only time he takes it off is if he knows he's going to kill someone that day. otherwise, its always on him.

lyra died and was buried in colorado. toby lives in alabama now. so he really doesnt visit her grave often. only on her birthday, he'll scramble together some money and get brian, tim, and kate to agree to cover his uh. 'shifts' with slenderman, and take a few loooonnnggg train rides over to colorado.

he'll leave two bouquets of flowers. one for lyra, one for connie.

connie just feels in her heart that its toby. she has no reason to believe it, they've never bumped into eachother (toby's visiting at like 2am and falls asleep near the grave for a few hours), but she knows nobody else whos visiting lyras grave and leaving two sets of the same flowers.

toby and lyras childhood home was put on sale shortly after it was reconstructed from the fire, and connie moved in with her sister. lyras bedroom door was the only one that was shut and left unscathed after the fire (legitimately keep your doors shut if you ever have a housefire it can save entire bedrooms and even lives). the rest of the house was ruined, but not lyras room. connie kept every single one of her belongings, but she's put some photos out on the grave. tobys taken them, and connie believes it was him. again, she has no reason to believe it other than the flowers and 'why would someone take a photo of my dead daughter.'

anyway hi. in tears. i love them. sorry. i just retell their story over and over and get sad everytime

[raisedbythetv89]

I hate all of this “well he was Buffy’s first love!” talk when discussing how much pain and devastation Angel caused in Buffy’s life as if for women our first loves MUST be horrible and painful always???? As if it was unavoidable anyway so let’s not be too critical of him.

First off, HE LITERALLY WASNT EVEN HER FIRST LOVE

The show acknowledges what happens in the movie so canonically what happened in the movie happened to tv show Buffy INCLUDING HER RELATIONSHIP. ANGEL WAS NOT HER FIRST LOVE.

Angel was just the first guy who stalked and targeted Buffy when she was at her most vulnerable and continued to constantly lie and manipulate her for his own selfish gains only to toss her aside once she no longer served her original purpose while continuing to lead her on and show up in her life every time she tried to move on and THAT is why it was so painful!!!

STOP NORMALIZING THE PAIN CAUSED BY ABUSE AND MANIPULATION AS THE SAME THING AS REGULAR HEARTBREAK IN NORMAL RELATIONSHIPS.

I did not have a good childhood, my parents had a horrible divorce when I was 7 and I had never seen a healthy relationship modeled IN MY LIFE - AND YET - my first serious relationship when I was 16 while it definitely had it problems like all young love does (his friends didn’t like how much time he spent with me and his mom both hated me for “taking her son away” but also loved me because she wanted a daughter so badly but only had sons - she was insane lol and we were both teenagers who made stupid teenager mistakes) he was with me for 3 1/2 years and absolutely would have married me if that was what I had wanted.

He would sneak out to see me when I was sad despite his strict parents, always bought me lunch because I would eat what I was sent to school with by 10 AM because I was STARVING because I had an almond mom who never fed either of us enough. Would happily listen to me rant about the twilight books as I read them during that whole phase, WROTE ME A SONG for my birthday (he was actually a talented musician and works as a sound engineer and music producer now) and basically just spent every second he could either with me or talking to me when we were apart. He loved taking me on dates and writing me love notes and we just laughed all the time. He was my best friend as well as my boyfriend and ending that relationship because I had outgrown him was SO PAINFUL because he loved me so much and even during the break up - which I handled HORRIBLY - he was kind and even gave me the birthday present he had bought me because he wanted me to have it even though it was still months away. (I say all of this to try and just show first loves CAN be more than just pain and devastation and if it isn’t making you happy a minimum 80% of the time and you instead just feel sad and confused THAT IS NOT NORMAL AND YOU DESERVE BETTER 🩷)

I know good experiences are not the case for everyone when it comes to first relationships and that’s awful and is not fair because young love SHOULD be innocent and naive. Just two idiots in love who have no clue what they’re doing but just happy to be around each other no matter what they’re doing (like what willow got to experience with Oz in high school) and Angel robbed Buffy of those experiences. He broke her trust of other people and in love and her trust in HERSELF - that’s not her “first love” that’s her first abusive relationship and calling it “her first love” or worse “her soulmate” only serves the patriarchy and harms little girls everywhere who grow up not knowing to look for or expect better because everyone around them and society is telling them “your first experiences with love and sex will be awful and painful and there’s no escaping it” when that is just NOT TRUE at all, especially if you date someone age appropriate in high school. Angel is the first older “man” she dated and like all older men with high school girls do, he took advantage of that imbalance in power in literally every way possible and I will despise that whiney little bitch until the end of time for that and wish he would have just stayed trapped in that hell dimension until the end of time as it is what he deserves.

“True love” doesn’t require severe pain and tears for it to be deep or meaningful. Don’t believe the lies terrible men like jw and so many others feed us.

[squipdop]

HIIIII CAN I ASK ABOUT THE SIX YEARS LATER AU???

Howd they bring up the junior scouts idea to max??? Was he like Whatever sure or super tsundere or surprisingly emotional that they wanted him back after he aged out?? Did anyone else come back or do special day-long visits like how schools bring in visitors? What does max think of the new kids? They all look so cool i love Max's hair!!!!

HI HI HELLO YES OFC!!! :33

Okay so. I call it the '6 years later' AU but technically i have Stuff Planned for all the time that passed between now and then too, so this'll be a bit longer, sorry!!

Max joining the counselor team was actually kind of a natural/gradual development?? Basically, since I can't make CC content that isn't found family Max has a shit home life, and, even if he hates to admit it at first, the three months of summer camp become his bright spot each year. David and Gwen catch on to that, but there isn't much they can do to help outside of camp - until one day Max (age 13/14ish) shows up on Gwen's doorstep because he ran away from home, 'since his parents won't care either way'. While he does return home after hiding out at Gwen's place for a weekend, this kind of kicks off a pattern of Max running away sporadically, to Gwen's, later David's, or his friends places. I could go into more detail here but. this is already long. oop.

ANYWAYS. So with Max spending basically all the time he can away from home and the summers at camp, once he ages out there's. A Bit of panic starting in him once summer gets closer again, because his Safe Place seems inaccessible, and two of his OTHER options, especially for longer stays away from home, would also be unavailable. Gwen and David notice this (it manifests in Max staying over More but Angrier) and try to find a solution. Gwen proposes the Jr Counselor idea. They introduce the idea to Max by kinda implying that workload around camp is a lot, and it'd really hurt to miss one of their most experienced campers, but... maybe, if he worked there too (well, interned. basically unpaid. but! no camp tuition!) he could help them? so they basically give Max a way to say yes without admitting that he's the one who needs camp the most. He does insult the whole thing ofc, and says like he's just doing it because he knows camp would burn down without him there ("actually, most of the fires we had were started by you...?" "shut it, david") but secretly he's really really happy. He might even thank them later that evening. Quietly. Before complaining about it preemptively. <3

WAH THATS ALREADY SUCH A WALL OF TEXT ok ill hurry up w the rest:

While most of the other campers had some rotations over the years, I don't have conk rete plans for most of them - Nikki and Neil are still Max' gang, and returned for multiple summers, if not all. This year though, Neil is busy with college prep, and Nikki is spending the summer at home because of family crisis. They still video call a lot, they're still The Gang. I have sketched designs for them, but I'm not quite happy yet.

Max at first doesn't take his role seriously, because he's basically just Back For Another Summer, but pretty quickly realises Gwen and David DO have expectations, and DO give him responsibilities. He takes a while to come around on his new relationship to the younger kids, and especially one of the youngest kids takes a liking to him, a very anxious young girl, which annoys him at first, but... well. It's a whole ~character arc~ for Max waiting to happen tbh.

OK THANK YOU IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR IM SORRY ITS SO LONG. i wasnt lying when i said i have So Many Thoughts about this. ANYWAYS as thank u for getting this far heres a doodle of Max putting up his hair. :3c

[moxielynx]

@whatudottu hihihihiiiii so ur ramblings about tetrax has me wanting to talk about tetrax cause i will take any opportunity to talk about him

d-23 tetrax is cool even if he didnt speak much in the episode, honestly d-23 ben deserved to be smacked around a little (/J /J that kid is like 13 😭), the twist that they were actually the good guys this whole time was great, especially since sixsix was also working with azmuth, which was a nice perspective

i like to imagine that d-23 tetrax is actually a total sweetheart and didnt actually like fighting ben since ben is just a dumb kid who doesnt know any better (even if he is a stubborn brat)

im pretty certain that petropia in the reboot is perfectly fine because for a while Vilgax wasnt. Vilgax, so he couldn't have hired Tetrax to steal whatever that crystal was from petropia then destroy it, so reboot tetrax is just what happens as a result of Tetrax not facing the consequences of his actions so now he's a MEANIE!!! but the dad instinct is still there judging from the way he interacts with Ben in "Mutiny for the Bounty"

as much as i prefer classic tetrax i really like that they went with a completely different approach with reboot tetrax, and like it makes sense too considering theres no way petropia would be destroyed in the reboot as well if vilgax couldnt do it (if petropia were to also get destroyed in the reboot then that would be so funny cause that basically means the planet is fucked no matter what 💀💀), its really cool to see that this might be what tetrax was like before working for vilgax and makes me really think about how different each version of tetrax is, and only makes me even more depressed that we never got prime tetrax in Omniverse, especially since there could've been so many moments where tetrax could've showed up

classic tetrax obviously isnt as cruel and uncaring as we see in the reboot or as he said when he was telling ben about his backstory because if he really didn't care as much but was like "okay this is fucked up i need to get my act together" then he wouldn't have looked so distraught watching his planet fall

i refuse to acknowledge the change in reaction in uaf tho cause it fucking SUCKED they cant just turn him into this stoic fucking guy after he literally shows up and shakes ben like a rattle, that and also they obviously didnt gaf about his backstory cause in the og backstory you can tell petropia's destruction was YEARS, probably decades ago cause he had those back spikes and even a different outfit but in the uaf version its just the same exact model THEY DONT CARE ABOUT TETRAX LIKE I DO!!!!!!

uaf tetrax made me so sad because i was already insane about the idea of dadtrax because of Secret of the Omnitrix, but when tetrax first showed up in uaf he picked up ben and for some reason my first thought was "omg is he going in for a hug" only to have that ripped away from me when he just straight up starts shaking ben around like a ragdoll 😭like imagine you dont see a guy for like 6 years, last time you saw him he helped you save the world/galaxy, and the first thing he does is fucking shatter you for no reason (or at least appears to be no reason), and all you get from it is a "sorry but i had no time to explain", like thats crazy, the REAL tetrax would never harm ben that is his SON !!!!!!!! and then after the single episode we had of tetrax and even petropia we just. never see him or the planet ever again. like we could've had so much world building for petropia and they decided to just throw it out like it was nothing

tetrax is genuinely such a cool character and its horrible how underutilized he is in every show, like yeah he was in 2 (technically 3 counting the reboot) movies but that doesnt really make up for how little we really saw him, especially since like i mentioned earlier prime tetrax wasnt even in OV which is probably the biggest missed opportunity in history, and the strangest part about it is that we got plenty of episodes exploring different planets and even a whole other system (galactic monsters special) so it was literally the perfect opportunity to write an episode about petropia and how its holding up

also never apologize 2 me about rambles, especially rambles about tetrax, i fucking LOVE reading people's silly little thoughts on things they like :3

[the-empress-7]

I've always believed that as long as she is married to H, she will not bother to have a career or do anything substantial money wide. The whole point of her looking for a British, rich, famous husband was that she could finally relax and enjoy the mind of life she thought she deserved.

Unless it was something like Oprah which was basically a branding exercise and had her front and centre, she wasnt going to bother doing anything. Spotify was a done deal but she barely managed to put out 12 episodes in 3 years. And even then she just "interviewed" famous very privilaged women on topics that were relevant to her own brand image.

Netflix was just weird, because it was just grainy pics and videos shot on her own cell phone, so she k ew the kind of content and narrative she wanted out there. And yet, she dissed the original producer of that mockumentary first chance she got.

I think her mental makeup compells her to gas up the poeple she is with , who come to believe that the world is a battlefield. Like she did with Harry - how he left his family, how he is estranged from everyone who loves him etc. His interviews, books etc have all been seeded by her manipulations.

But then when he gained traction, she got jealous and resentful Bei she thought he was getting more limelight than her.

Meanwhile, with time Harry also got resentful and tired of her because he is just not used to following any kind of orders at all, and it is his ingrained psychology to rebel against any kind of control being exerted on him. Sooner or later, he was bound to grow tired, bored and angry about whatever she got him into.

Add to that the fact that whatever amazing life she promised him, she did not deliver. Or rather, he thinks that. But the fact is that life did not turn out to be as glamorous as the expected it to be. Nothing gave him the satisfaction of actually being better than his brother - not his hot wife, not the children, not his fancy techy jobtitle, not Hollywood, not his book. Nothing.

But he is still uniquely privilaged and entitled,so he can just walk out and throw a tantrum when he grows tired of it, and his dad will step in. Whether out of love, duty or compulsion, his family will pick up the pieces for him and try set him back up with a semblance of normalcy.

She never understood that, and still doesn't. Thats why she tries to criticise his book, skip the coronation and let's it be known that it's for the kids, distances herself from the latest olive branch PR, criticises him for wanting back in with his family. She thinks that's what any normal person would do to an abusive/toxic/unstable spouse. She tries too hard to manipulate him and the public opinion of him.

She thinks she is getting ahead of the game by announcing their separation first. She has not seen Harry in his true element,wait until he gathers his wits and focuses his psycho wrath on her. That would be an epic battle. Harry understands the game, he has more to lose and he did lose it. But he also has more to gain by being on top and that's when we will see the true narc Harry in his glory.

Anon, you just described a malignant narcissist with a personality disorder. Harry just hides his disorders better, and his problems are more drug and alcohol addiction induced.

[pansy-picnics]

i would love to see and here more about emery !

old ask i just dug up but oughhghh em emmy my beloved…,,,..ive been trying to work on alina development recently as well as a few other things but ACTUALLY now that u mention it i just realized i don’t think i ever talked abt florence here!!! she’s emery’s bio mom!!!

honestly when i first made emery i told myself i wasnt gonna develop anyone from her bio family mostly because i KNEW i would get attached to them. but alas i DID and i HAVE.

don’t ask me about her dad tho. he’s out of the picture and idk what he did but whatever it was he was probably the problem. em’s ginger genes run strong but otherwise thats the only remnant of his existence

florence (flora for short) was very spiritual and hardworking, as well as open minded, down to earth and creative….she was a talented writer and enjoyed dabbling in poetry and fiction. flora was struggling, but she did her best to care for emery with what she had, and would always try to make up for the times she couldn’t be there.

she was only alive for the first few years of her daughter’s life, so she didn’t get to encounter the. frankly gorier side of emery’s passions; but emery was a curious kid who asked a lot of questions about everything and florence was always happy to answer. she would’ve supported them just as much as varian and hugo do, though she’d definitely be a bit unsure of how she would’ve tried her best. em loves florence very much and always has very fond memories of her, she basically gave up everything for emery :’3

i’m not exactly sure how florence died but it was definitely something related to an illness,,,, flora was already in poor health before emery was born and they weren’t well off enough to afford any extensive medical care. seeing their mom like this impacted emery in a lot of ways, and it subconsciously ended up pushing her towards her interests in biology and medicine.

when they do officially adopt emery varian and hugo try to dig up as much information as possible on florence as well. they see that em has that strong connection with their mom and they can’t bear to imagine them just growing up and forgetting about it,,,, so they spend a lot of time in the library learning as much as possible and telling her about it, to make sure she never forgets where she came from :((( <3

all that said though don’t worry bc flora is in fact alive and well in a modern au…i think for some reason she wasn’t able to take care of em full time, so varian and hugo coparent with her. her and rapunzel are best friends and she and emery get to hang out a few times a month so flora can take her out for lunch and emery can infodump about neurosurgery procedures or something

they watch gray’s anatomy and make fun of it together

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale's Rankings: Best Ash Ketchum

Now this sounds like a weird Ranking topic, but with over 20+ years of Pokemon anime to sift through, I can tell you there are some differences.

This Ash:

Is very different than this one:

And not just in animation styles.

So I should go over the rules.

I will be distinguishing each Ash on the Tried and True method. Based on Ash's Hat. For Example, Ash in the Kanto league, Orange Islands, and Johto Ash are all the same Ash, as they have the same hat. But once he goes to Hoenn, Its a different Ash

I will be ranking them based on Personality, Pokemon team, Competence for experience level, Performance and Overall Charm.

In regards to Competence for Experience, I mean how skilled he was shown to be compared to how he is in the region

I will not be including Manga, or spin offs. Purely the anime. Movies will be included if it benefits Ash

This is a personal list and I would love to hear everyone's thoughts.

____________________________________________________________

7. Black & White Ash

This... this ash at his lowest point in my opinion.

Also 2nd lamest companions. Iris was fine but the green haired Connoisseur annoyed me.

This was around the time the anime tried to do a soft reboot/retcon within itself and had Ash still say he is 10, even though he already went through 4 regions.

This Ash isnt a terrible person or anything, but ... he is kind of an idiot in battle. He gives advice and there are times he's mature but he loses battles he has no business losing. His team is also pretty unremarkable in Unova, even with all 3 starters. He never fully evolved any of them, the only Fully Evolved pokemon from Unova being his Krookadile (His best pokemon aside from Pikachu) Leavanny and Unfezent. (Which he switched out HALF THE TIME)

His pikachu also lost to Trip (a bargain bin version of Paul) who JUST GOT his pokemon recently.

But that is nothing compared to his embarrassing performance in the Unova League.

He made it to the great 8 and ended up losing to Cameron. Who if I had describe his incompetence, it would physically hurt me.

This Ash off the bat was not going to win any Leagues. But you would think with his experience he would be better... but he wasnt.

6. Sun and Moon Ash

I hate this iteration of ash... personally dislike him.

This Ash is likely the most immature we've seen ash since Kanto. Most of his maturity is gone in the first half of the season. His battle tactics may not be as bad as the previous ash (With this Ash actually WINNING his league). But its hard to say if most of those wins feel earned. Unlike later entries on this list, this Ash stumbled into incredibly powerful pokemon (two of which are basically legendaries), but to this Ash's credit, his Incineroar and Lyconroc were trained up and earned. I also enjoyed seeing the dynamic of this ash had with his friends in alola, along with the professor. I do think this Ash didnt deserve his Win in the league... mainly because the league was hardly official in terms of rules. It was basically a tournament with half of the people being his friends. But thats me nitpicking. This Ash does show to grow and strategize better than the last Ash, so I will give him props. But thats all I am giving him. Well Okay, Pikachu helped hard carry in this season

5. Journey's Ash

This Ash is... well he is technically the most skilled Ash as he can use all the tricks and did win the Master Class. But I dont get why.

Side note Gou is the worst Companion in the entire series dont @ me I know I am right.

This Ash STUMBLES hard into all his strong pokemon. Gengar, Dragonite, Dracovish. Sir Fetched and Lucario are the only two he needed to help evolve. Also, what is up with that unbalanced Team Composition? Half weak to fairy and dragon, Half weak to ground types. How did Cynthia NOT sweep?

That may have been Nitpicking a bit, but I still stand on the former point, most of his mons were strong at the jump. In Alola, the two legendaries he finds he at least has to evolve. Sure they are legendaries, but still.

I also just found this ash a bit too kidish until the end at the master class tournament.

Now did Ash deserve to be the very best? Yes. Did this iteration of Ash deserve it... Meh. At least it wasnt Unova or Alola Ash.

I do like that this Ash actually remembers his journey and tries to improve on it... though I am still pissed at a LOT of the retcons they did.

It did give us a lot of epic battles and Pikachu's epic clash.

4. Ruby & Sapphire Ash

Now we are at the Ash's I actually enjoy.

This Ash is a more refined yet still Childish Protagonist. He has been around the block and still has his child wonder. Yet he is more brazen and intelligent. He is more strategic compared to his previous iteration and will go into battle's with clever strategies. His team is also fairly balanced, His Sceptile being the star of the show, but his hoenn league team was nothing to sneeze at, His Swellow, Glalie, and Torkoal did work.

His placement in the great 8 in Hoenn showed his improvement and was a solid placement for him at this time. After this we really got to see Ash improve in the Battle Frontier.

Now the Battle Frontier is similar to Ash in the Orange Islands, the main difference though is that this is a more mature ash with some more serious opponents. Ash had a larger arsenal of pokemon and if it wasnt for all the experience he had gained, he likely would never have beaten Brandon and his team of incredibly strong Regis

Ash had his MVP companion Brock, and was accompanied by May and Max. Max being the young curious kid helped let Ash be more mature, while May still being new to pokemon let ash give advice as well as explore new avenues for strategies by watching Contests

Out of All the Ash's I would say he is the ash I look to to show his growth.

3. Original Ash

The Original, The start, the hyper active, comedic Ash that I grew up with.

Ash in the start was a complete noob and was stubborn to a fault. Its funny how he doesnt earn Half his badges through battles at the start. His pokemon usually joined him instead of being caught, and a chunk usually left for other reasons.

This Ash does grow and has the most heart out of all the ash so far. He cares about his pokemon and this is the closest Ash to capturing the magic of a trainer on their first Journey.

During the Orange Islands and Johto he does grow a bit, learning new strategies and showing himself capable of winning. He even bests his rival Gary.

And Of course this Ash had a team of strong mons, Charizard, Pikachu, Heracross, Squirtale, Bulbasaur, Pidgeot, Lapris. and a HERD OF TAUROS! Bayleaf, Quilava, and more.

And of course the OG companions, Misty and Brock. Though tbh I never cared for Misty. She was Mid.

2. Diamond and Pearl Ash

This was VERY hard for me to decide. Ash from Sinnoh is honestly some of the Best Ash I have seen.

We see ash grow and develop a lot more of the iconic strategies and out of the box thinking we know him for. Ash had met his antithesis in Paul and would clash with him only to have one of the best battles in ALL of Pokemon in the great 8!

This Ash had The OG Brock by his side, along with Dawn, who in my personal opinion was a superior coordinator companion to May. I liked May but Dawn managed to vibe with Ash much easier in my opinion.

Ash's team with Gliscor, Torterra, Buisal, Staraptor, Gible and Infernape were a solid team base, and Ash's Pikachu also being a star in its own right

I loved the maturity of this ash, as well as the frustration he felt when being beaten by Paul at every step. He even began questioning his own ability when Paul's cutthroat tactics seemed to show such results. But it was shown through Infernape why Ash was in the right.

This Ash also should have gone farther than top 4, but dude faced DARKRAI AND LATIOS. Not Ash's fault the had to deal with the one trainer with a game shark. It did feel like Tobias was created SOLELY to stop Ash from winning. But even the final's opponent couldnt beat the darkrai while Ash at least did.

Still salty on that.

1. XY Ash

Yes, Kalos Ash is my favorite Ash. Sure Kalos as a region and a game was MID. But Mega evolutions, the battles, the way Ash grew and developed. This Ash was SUCH an improvement from Black and White Ash that it felt like this ash was from Diamond and pearl. It is Ash at his best. His most mature, his most energetic yet not annoying. This Ash is the cool ash that your GF tells you not to worry about.

Serena Clemont and Bonnie were solid compatriots. Bonnie being a better max, and Clemont being the dorky yet fun inventor. While he isnt Brock, he is still a fun character. And of Course, Serena is best girl. She didnt lose her bike to Ash's pikachu, so points. She knew him from the past, the cute crush never felt forced. It also made the times when they argued really hold weight. Ash realized he effed up when Serena was pissed.

Now for the team. Ash earned his OP team. He evolved all his pokemon save for Pikachu and Hawlucha, into the strong powerhouses they became. He was competing against Mega evolutions AND Winning. He and Greninja even bonded so hard he got a unique form. AND THAT THEME FUCKING SLAPPED

His fights in the Kalos league top 4 and final match were INSANE!

His rivalry with Sawyer was interesting, especially with how Sawyer overtook him when he was in a slump only for him to push back hard.

His rivalry with Alain also had some depth that I wish was explored more.

This Ash deserved the Win in Kalos. But even so, his fight with Alain in the final was intense and epic.

It shows how Ash went the POLAR opposite of his Unova iteration, it showed how Ash struggled and grew on the level of Sinnoh, and it showed how he was a leader in his own right. This was Ash at his best.

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

audio commentary of potd pt 1:

the bullet train bit at the start initially was the idea for a new years episode but they couldnt get like the sets in time so they had to rethink. the scene we see in potd was basically like the climax of that would-have-been episode

jodie: the really handy thing about these is that the masks steamed up within seconds of putting them on. fgkjhgkjgh

it's the first time mandip is seeing the episode this is like a month before they aired it? chris asks if it's like she imagined and shes like no it's way quicker (thatd be because they cut out hALF THE LINES no im kidding im kidding fghkjhh)

this episode wasnt even gonna exist? they were gonna do six episodes of flux and two specials and then when they'd just started filming flux (start of 2021?) they got asked to do another one for the centennary/to give the next team a bit more time

calling up sophie and janet to ask them to come back they both said like "i think tegan would be big friends with ace" "i think ace would be massive friends with tegan" like separately <3

about ace's costume: mandip: we both had doc martens on! so, yaz is cool, as well jodie: (just making it about you.) (youre not in this scene this isnt about you)

jodie stole the little ashad from timeless children

jodie asks if chris had ever any ideas to kill of any of the companions and he says no but both john bishop and bradley walsh asked if they could be killed off?? and he was like no guys this is about yaz and the doctor

"this lovely street in wales that is not liverpool" <3

during that reunion scene with ace and tegan, chris talks about how in 70s 80s doctor who and unit and how he hadnt really realised while doing it that what theyve ended up with here is that like every leading character in unit is a woman now? he talks about how like the doctor becomes a woman and you can then sort of see the full effect of that in the reunion scene here where it's just like all women

jodie about the reunion scene: i always wanted to react as 13, but then only in this episode i was met with people who had interacted with other doctors. so do you try and react in a way appropriate for them and their doctor? but i always wanted to do 13. it was always a bit complicated especially later on with the ai.

chris asked who were their favourite guest stars to work with and the entire conversation derails into just listing everyone and saying how much fun they had

jodie obviously has seen the full episode before this and she keeps teasing mandip abt it like going "oh we talked over half that scene now you have no any idea of whats going on" and then at the scene where the master talks to ace and tegan from the unit jail she slaps her like "watch this watch this watch this this is a good bit watch this!" and they watch a bit in silence and then chris goes "you just shushed her in a commentary to go 'watch this this is a really good bit'" it's specifically the bit where ashad grows and all the cybermen come out and mandip goes "oh that is good" and then she goes "you know like those russian dolls you get where they all fit inside each other" and jodie goes "thats what it is" and chris goes "thats the plot" im looosing it

jodie slapping mandip again about the rasputin scene "watch this" they watch a bit of the scene and then chris giggles and mandip goes "whens his bit coming on" chris: youre just pointing at the screen, jodie. it's at the end of the scene jodie: oh. chris: hes explaining the plot jodie: oh hes explaining the plot chris: and then hes gonna play the music thats how it works

[thatguy03]

A little fun with body swapping - Male tf

About a month ago, you managed to find an interesting app. It would match you with people you might want to swap bodies with based on your preferences, and if they also match with you, then you could arrange to swap your bodies for a short amount of time. Basically tinder but body swaps rather than dates or hookups. You have been looking for a jock or some gym bro to swap with since you got the app, but unsurprisingly not many jacked dudes want to become a fat slob such as you. Though you knew there was an audience for it, more people than youd expect are curious about it because it doesnt last that long.

Today you were shocked to see a notification while at work, "You have  a potential match with someone to swap bodies". Shocked, you waited excitedly to get home from work when you immediately tap the notification. You read through his information,

Name: Hernando

Height: 6"3

Weight: 220 lbs

You quickly scroll to the important part, his photos. You pause at the sight of this god of a man, you remain frozen, in shock from how hot this guy was.

It was too good to be true, right? I mean you knew that there some young gym rats that might want to try out being fat for a day, but some dilf!? It had to be a catfish, or a mistake, but it was too amazing to pass up. Besides, what's the harm in him being a catfish, itll still be fun.

You plan a meet at his place and do the swap there, and then meet up a few hours later and wait for your bodies to swap back. It is his first body swap as well, so you still havent gotten all the quirks worked out yet. Worst case you stay a little longer at his place in his body, win win. Soon enough the time comes to drive to Hernandos place, you throw on some random clothes and rush out the door.

You make it to his house and knock on the door, after a few seconds the door creaks open. There he is, the Hernando from the photos in a very form fitting shirt a tight pants. You can already feel a bulge forming in your pants and nothing has even happened yet. You prepare for the body swap, but this isnt the kind of body swap that you see online, your body physically transforms into the other person. So both of you get naked, so your clothes dont rip, more specifically his clothes. You both hit the transform button on the app and the feeling hits immediately. A tingle runs up your spine as your whole body tenses up, you can see Hernando doing the same. Suddenly all of the fat on your body begins to melt away, giving you the ability to see your feet, something that has not been possible in years. Your surprised at the shocking difference in your center of gravity as your massive gut has completely disappeared. Your chest explodes into two juicy pecs as your flat stomach tightens up into a solid six pack right above a sharp v line. Your saggy arms grow larger and rounder, giving you thick biceps and forearms with larger and more muscular man hands. Your shoulders and upper back broaden to match your larger arms, and your traps grow  beside of your thick neck. Your saggy ass puckers up into smaller but far more round and perky ass cheeks. Also your fat pad disappeared, making your dick look slightly longer before it suddenly doubles in size and girth into a solid 9 inch rocket, there seriously wasnt anything wrong with this mans body. Your thighs thicken to a size proportional to your now massive body and your feet turn into a hulking size 15. The transformation wasnt over though, sure you now had a perfect bod, you needed the face to back it up. Your weak jaw sharpens as a thick five o clock shadow covers the lower half of your face. Your eyes turn a nice hazel colour, your eyebrows become dark and bushy, and your hair grows into a short buzz cut. Finally, as you begin to snap out of the haze, your pale white skin darkens into tanned olive skin tone and all of your body hair falls off, leaving you smooth and shiny.

You finally come back to, seeing your body across from you. It was odd seeing yourself outside your body, but you get used to it. "It worked!" Hernando said in a rural american accent, you replied in a thick spanish accent "Holy shit, I'm you!". You both immediately run to a different bathroom in hernandos home to check out and explore your new bodies. You pose in front of the mirror, with your great physique, flexing your thick muscles. You explore every nook and cranny or your body, you bouncy your pecs, grab your ass, and play with your massive cock all while teasing yourself in spanish. All of Hernandos muscle memory stayed with his body, giving you his sexy accent and his ability to speak fluent spanish. You grab your dick and start pumping up and down, it felt weird being able to fully wrap your hands around your dick despite having much larger hands. It felt amazing to jerk off your huge member while caressing all of your juicy muscles. You rubbed your off hand across your washboard abs and grabbed the shelf that is your chest. Within seconds your knees went weak and you shot your load all over Hernandos mirror, I'm sure he wont mind as hes probably doing the same exact thing right now.

You quickly clean up the bathroom, but realize you only have so long in this body. You run out of the bathroom and through on the clothes hernando had been hearing. The feeling of your shirt tight around your chest instead of around your gut felt amazing, and the thick bulge in you jeans felt even better. You make your way to the beach across from Hernandos condo building to find some hot dudes, maybe you'll get in a quick hookup before you transform back into your body. You confidently march onto the beach with your chest pumped up and your arms out to make you even more buff. You notice most women, and men for that matter staring at you, and in a good way this time. You spot a guy checking you out, alone on the beach, this was your moment. With the confidence and charisma you got from Hernando you approach the guy, who must be half of Hernandos age at most. You starting flirting with him right away and he was clearly interested, you pulled off the charm act perfectly on him. Though as your in the middle of a conversation, you feel that tingling in your spine again. Suddenly your six pack grows into a fat ball belly, making the shirt ride up past your belly button. Your pecs soften into a saggy pair of man boobs and your arms shrink and sag under the weight of your fat. Your ass explodes with fat, causing the fly on your jeans to violently rip open as a fat pad swallows your ever shrinking dick. The sharp features on your face disappear and beard grows thicker to cover the fat in your face. You grow significantly shorter, much shorter than the guy your talking to, who you used to tower over a moment ago. Finally your skin lightens back to pale white and brown hairs grow all over you once slick, clean shaven body. Your left standing awkwardly standing on the beach in clothes that arent even close to fitting you. The guy you were talking to freaks out and runs away, but somehow the embarrassment of the situation kinda turned you on.

You head back to Hernandos to see him laying on the couch naked, waiting for you. Turns out he really liked the body and hes not done with it. He throws you onto the couch and jumps on top of you. Looks like your going to be here all night.

[themolldollincident]

Queer tormented by ocd plays disco elysium absolutely zooted on edibles, a tragically short story in only seven snapchats

Not my typical content but i had to post it.

I LOVE video games but my OCD makes them very distressing to play sometimes. My playthrough HAS to be perfect or i get extremely distressed - not like i have to do a good job and win, but more like every single playthrough has to be a beautiful work of art from beginning to end, no decisions or time wasted on things that dont serve the STORY and the CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, and CERTAINLY no sidequests left uninvestigated and no bonus content left undiscovered. This has gotten harder in recent years as video games have become more complex and more beautiful, so oftentimes you CANT uncover every single thing AND play a consistent character, because huge swaths of content are often locked behind certain decisions that you CANT MAKE if you're committing to a specific character arc or story. So anyway a while ago I played through Disco Elysium. I LOVED IT. It was FANTASTIC. It was difficult to get through at times because of the ocd but it was so so worth it and helped me practice not engaging in compulsions.

HOWEVER.

I recently decided to play it through AGAIN while absolutely fucking ZOOTED on some edibles i've discovered that make it to where i basically dont fucking have my extremely severe case of ocd for just a few hours. (They are heavenly and i love them). I thought it would be really fun to play the whole game again, but this time i ONLY open up this save when im zooted, and i ONLY have fun, with NO pressure to make the playthrough any kind of art. JUST have FUN playing a VIDEO GAME for the first time in my life. I decided i would ONLY pick the dialogue options i found the most amusing, without doing my typical 20 minutes of overthinking for each dialogue box. I was going goofy mode and i was so excited. It didnt exactly go the way i thought it would though LMAO

This is the result of that tragically short but hilarious playthrough that had me SCREAMING in my living room, told in 7 snapchats

1. Opening the game and noticing something i somehow never noticed during the whole first playthrough around 5:35 pm

2. Creating a character build, 5:38 pm

3. Deciding to have a 1 in all stats except psyche and pour all points into psyche so that i can be psychic cop, failing to realize (because edibles) that there is a low attribute cap at the beginning, so i just accidentally chose to hamstring my attributes and just NOT USE my three points to build my character, 5:40 pm

4. Choosing ONLY Inland Empire for my skill increase, once again failing to realize that i wasnt maxxing out inland empire, i was just failing to use two skill points. Also i was enjoying the music in the skill screen, which is beautiful, but since i was high i thought the 5 minutes i spent just vibing to the music was like 30 minutes so i thought i wasted a bunch of time, 5:48pm. (Ive decided to call this method of accidentally using only one skill/attribute point at the beginning of the game because youre too zooted to play video games well "Harry-Maxxing".)

5. Going through the "trying to wake up" beginning of the game choosing only the funniest dialogue options and seeing dialogue i had never seen before! Fun! But also before i took this pic i referenced the nina chimera FMA meme and my partner hadnt heard of it so i explained it for only like 10 minutes, but again, since i was high, i thought i wasted like 2 hours on that. But it was only 6:16 pm.

6

6. and 7. A glorious 3 minutes later, i decide turning the light on is a great first move (its been a bit since my first playthrough). Again, i am only choosing the funniest dialogue options and not thinking super well, so i just kept saying shit like "BRING IT ON" and "Let it all go" because i thought it was typical harry being overdramatic and weird, and i thought it was hilarious. Turns out i had a heart attack from turning the light on and immediately died. Literally like 5 minutes of actual playtime. Incredible. I love this game.

It wasnt the full playthrough i was hoping for but it was awesome. Rip harry number 2. I definitely recommend harry-maxxing

[magnoliamyrrh]

when this got worse one of my american friends who had just basically found out abt the palestine-israel situation recently and didnt have a grasp on this shit asked me "hey wasnt part of your family jewish, why are you so heated about israel and taking a side" like,,,,,, sis,,, part of my family being jewish and knowing some 3 generations ago they were forced to change their last name and religion to survive and they spend at least the last 300+ years we know of pingponging everywhere because everywhere they were persecuted and couldnt stay, and that they ended up in the balkans in the first place because of however many more centuries of opression and fleeing, and growing up knowing in part abt jewish struggles bc my family cared abt that history and kept ties w jews who were still jews, doesnt make me more lenient to israel it makes me x50 times more angry. it makes me so much more angry. i hate it so fucking much when opressed groups turn around and do the same horrid shit that was done to them. also. im balkan and not in the "woo nationalism" sense but in the "oh god no ethnonationalism is a fucking demon" sense.

[nothing0fnothing]

Hey remember when that grown man molested and groomed me into thinking it was okay for like, almost 3 years and when everyone found out I got treated like I, the 13 year old child, was the bad one who broke the rules? And then I spiralled down into a pit of rage issues and bad mental health because nobody thought it might be necessary to get me help after such an ordeal so I just had to tough it out and work it out alone? and not just regular alone, like truly alone, because I was pulled out of every social extracurricular I was in and had all my hobbies taken off me as punishment so all I could really do was sit alone in my room thinking about everything I'd just gone through and how bad it was? and it was especially bad because it was summer and my parents were so angry at me they didn't talk to me basically at all so it just became normal that I went days to a week at a time without speaking to a human being the whole time, essentially leaving me alone in a time I should have been having conversations about what happened to me and how I can heal? And nobody talked about it at all for like 5 years and pretended it didn't happen to me and I had no reason to be sad and depressed and mentally ill because I had a perfect life? And literally the only evidence I had that what happened to me wasnt just forgotten was brought up was as a joke at my expense when I was 20 and moved out? And when I, a then 20 year old who still wasn't healed from that experience because why the fuck wouldn't I be? Said that the joke wasn't funny and acknowledged for the first time that it wasn't my fault I got met with some weird remark about how it was actually another 15 year olds fault because she also got groomed?

Yeah me neither idk why I brought it up.

[rainyraisin]

2023 YEAR IN REVIEW!!!

My artstyle changed a lot this year, especially after my shift from ibis paint to procreate after getting my iPad (drawing on an iPad is the BEST btw 100% recommend I love it way more than a phone and it didn’t die after a month like my old wacom 💀💀). I’m relatively happy with where my art is atm and I hope to continue to improve in 2024!

Explanation of all the silly art down below! (Mostly so I can tell y’all who the fanart is for but also cause I like rambling)

January: A drawing of my Rise Leo human design I did to test out a pixel brush I found for Ibis Paint. He’s very fun to draw hehe I need to draw him more-

February: I wanted to learn how to draw the future designs of Leo and Mikey along with CJ so I planned to draw them all together! I struggled with Leo though so I just got rid of him. Sorry Peepaw 😞😞💔💔💔

March: Fanart for @beannary ‘s TLP au! I love it so much so I had to draw smth for it hehe 😈😈💥💥💥 which reminds me I need to draw more at some point- might redraw it at some point cause I’m not super happy with how it turned out but I do like the idea a lot

April: The month I created Reticent! April’s Fools was the first episode I came up with so I drew a chapter poster! It ended up being very different to the chapter cover I drew a couple months later but it’s still cool :D Leo is being weirdly affectionate to Mikey though what the heck that isn’t like him smh. Although I guess it was meant to be purposefully exaggerated sooooo 🥰

May: Reticent Casey!!! I don’t have much to say it’s just Reticent Casey HDKSGXKSHD this wasnt a very good art month

June: Krangified Donnie is literally my favourite concept ever thats it that’s all I have to say dbskdbwkh I adore Krangified Donnie and if the Rise brainrot takes over the Reticent brainrot for a while then I will probably be drawing Krangified Donnie during that time sorry not sorry

July: Reticent Chapter 3’s cover yippee!!! Still my favourite Reticent cover although Chapter 8’s is a close second (I can’t wait to post it once it’s been betaread yippee!!!). The scribble over Leo’s eyes is literally just because I was struggling to draw his eyes and i was getting annoyed dbskdbskdb it’s actually a very common issue with him (common Ret!Leo L). Also Mikey being reflected in the mirror is a reference to Mirror Man by Jack Stauber which I’ve basically considered his theme song since @aaronymous999 introduced it to me ebwjcbkwhd thank you Mr. Aaronymous! Also somebody said he was in the barbie box and I still need to draw that to this day because Mikey would’ve killed to go see Barbie.

August: RET DONNIE WOOOOO he’s being bullied again!!! I drew that piece for a colour palette challenge request and realised I got the prompt wrong so I just made it into its own thing 💥💥💥 it’s usually a flickering light gif but I chose to just use the version with the light on for this post. The photos in the background were really fun to draw hehe either April’s or Mikey’s is my favourite.

September: MY 500 FOLLOWER DTIYS YIPPEE (/my 150 follower DTIYS for tumblr). This one took me. Forever to draw and I love it to pieces hehe it was really fun to design Mikey’s room and figure out outfits for the sillies and idk the concept of a sleepover just seemed really fun to me dbskbdkdb- and all the entries I got were so so awesome I loved them all to pieces!!! I still look at them all the time hehe

October: FANART OF @endlesslogo ‘S HUMAN RISE LEO DESIGN WOOOOOO!!! This was the piece I started rendering on hehe it was so much fun to draw!!!! Although I did have a fight with rendering the hair for over an hour svsjegksbdk HOW DO PEOPLE DO IT FR!!!

November: Me and my friends were working on a crossover between our TMNT iterations so I drew all of our Karai’s together!!! Confluence Karai is on the left, created by Salem and Marine, New Stars Karai is in the middle created by Starla, and Reticent Karai is on the right created by me! All our Karais have such cool designs AHHHHH literally dead over them constantly/pos

December: Most of December I spent drawing Christmas presents so this was my present for Salem!!! Confluence!Jonatello my beloved….

[haley770]

glue me by los campesinos! is my favorite song(by my favorite band) ever and it is so so wilmon. literally everything about this song is perfect and beautiful. the lyrics represent wilmon and young royals so much. so lets go through it, shall we?

just a little note: almost nothing about this is in any order of the show(it is in order of the lyrics), basically just what scenes/things i am reminded of by some of the lyrics because so much of it lines up with this amazing show [:

/this song begins with such an amazing line, "the clouds salivating, drooling from the sky at the thought of the trouble to wreck" it is raining. water is such a big component as a metaphor in this show to represent everyones feelings. (thank you @tvmicroscope i love your analysis') its also just such a beautiful way to describe the rain as well, the clouds salivating, oh my god (!!! WTFF thats AMAZING I LOVE IT). and then it continues, "and its high tide, as the sewers rise and the drains have become obsolete" it is flooding. both of these just make me think of how it was raining on wilhelm in the soccer/football field scene. when he was soo fucking high and confused and overwhelmed, his brain was being flooded by so many feelings and emotions. probably conflicting each other. wilhelms entire life as he knew it is falling apart, he lost his brother, his best and only friend. he blames himself. he feels guilty. he is burdened with the title of the crown prince, which is the last thing that wilhelm wants. and most importantly(to him at least) he had to reject the love of his life because the crown prince cannot be gay like that. he felt like he was drowning in all of these emotions. he couldnt handle it, "i cant do this anymore", earlier in this same episode when he yet again rejected simon. but still, he goes on and makes the most amazing(and somewhat embarassing) love confession to simon because that is what he really feels. it is the only thing he can take a chance with for him to feel anything nice. and real. (ily tvmicroscope your analysis' are so beautiful)

/and now simon turns up, "seems theres no place in this town, for something as pure as you seem" wilhelm definitely thought this when simon actually came to rescue him in the middle of the night all like "you came, oh my god you came, im so glad youre here, youre so beautiful" wilhelm was definitely shocked simon actually came, especially after all the back and forth wilhelm put him through. it just further proves how amazing(pure) simon is(for this world/town).

/another heartbreaking one "water to my waist in a shark-infested bin" again reminds me of the football field scene when it was raining. wilhelm is so overwhelmed with everything. the water. he just wants to talk to somebody, but he is surrounded by fake friends who want to use him, people who dont give a shit about him as a person. the sharks. he doesnt have anybody to turn to. so he takes the chance of calling simon.

/this time, i hear simon. "and i heard, that it hurts" it literally echoes simon's "love shouldnt be this difficult" from the season 3 trailer. or maybe even in season 1 where wilhelm completely betrays simons trust and then doesnt understand what he did wrong. its just so heartbreaking for both of them ): especially because simon still loves wilhelm but hes also angry at him. at first, wilhelm didnt want simon to be mad at him because of the drugs, and he wasnt. but now he lied, and their relationship has since changed, and simon is mad at him, rightfully so.

/this one is more direct, "two wrists, two wrist watches. tick-tick-tocking second hands slightly out of time" how many times have watches been brought up or specifically highlighted in just seasons 1 and 2? SO MANY TIMES. (haha get it) we even saw some watches in the season 3 trailer! even boris! "ive had this watch for 40 years and it still works" 40 years is honestly crazy though, what the hell. let me see that watch.

/yet another heartbreaking one, "i requested a room with a view, in the middle of a war between me and you" is literally wilhelm looking at the beautiful lake in season 2 crying because he has completely lost hope for simon and he felt soso alone )): thankfully(...)felice came to rescue him, replacing simon from season 1. parallels am i right?(we did NOT need another kiss between felice and wilhelm. one was enough. or apparently it wasnt i guess)

/and, excuse me, OH MY GODD, i can HEAR wilhelm telling simon: "ill be gloomy til they glue me in the arms of [he] who loves me, til the rats and worms are all interned at least five feet above we" he will not give up on simon until he is sure there is no hope left(which we saw in season 2 until the valentines day ball kiss, also in the previous paragraph). another scene that fits is how wilhelm asked simon to hold him ): and finally, just wille being silly (the rats and worms because rats and worms are inherently silly like come on) reminds me of their 'date' by the water in s1e5, but its also so sweet because he is saying he wants to be together with simon until death. which is really the only thing wilhelm definitely wants(as well as for august to rot in hell, or jail, either works but both would be best, but thats besides this point).

/then simon, "[he] smiled, at a joke" just in general how happy he is when theyre together. this reminds me of the lake 'date' again and how totally in love simon looked whenever he was looking at wilhelm. as well as the laugh at the end of s2e5 after wilhelm closed the curtains, im glad theyre healing and can laugh about that.

/once again, excuse me, THE FOOTBALL REFERENCES(its los campesinos' thing to have a lot of football/soccer references in their lyrics but i dont really know much about football/soccer, i just know the references are there) WITH THE WHOLE FOOTBALL METAPHOR AND HOW FOOTBALL=SOMETHING REAL(from what i remember about the tvmicroscope analysis, read it if you havent it was so amazing and it was just so nice to actually see someone take the time to go through the show and each clip and write everything down, i am not very good at spotting metaphors but i love reading about them). but we have roshs great line, "rowing isnt a sport. football is a sport." very insightful for this entire metaphor. i guess you could say when they were at rosh's football/soccer game for these lyrics, but i think thats a bit boring, sorry. i would also like to note that, because of my non-existent knowledge on football/soccer, i chose not to talk about them in detail because i really dont understand the references in the song. from what i do know and so we are on the same page, the references are "im diving into headers, put this pretty face where the boots are flying in" | "but we connected like a yeboah volley" | and "of missed panenka penalty" as well as the chant at the end of the song, but i will actually talk about that in depth because it isnt very specific. there might be more(probably) but im not 100% sure about them.

/finally, we have the entire ending, "ex-boyfriend, boyfriend, give us a song" repeating. another football reference by los camp! which also fits the young royals narrative. the repetition is used as a chant for football, a play on "give us a wave". firstly, the valentines day ball comes to mind. this scene is showing simon who he really(again football is a real sport, thank you tvmicroscope) loves at the valentines day ball, hence him chasing after and kissing wilhelm. he also previously said he couldnt fall in love with marcus, "it just feels like he likes me for real" and "i just dont understand why i cant fall in love with him" ON THE FOOTBALL FIELD. too bad he didnt take the hint back then. also(unrelated) he couldnt even spell marcus' name right. "Hej Markus" seriously simon? too bad he never sent that text. they could have potentially broken up sooner. and then at the end of the valentines ball when marcus wille is listening to his ex-boyfriend his boyfriend sing a song he wrote about HIM(despite him being unaware of this fact until the next episode). it is such a crucial moment in season 2's whole plotline(and wilhelms sanity). next, this reminds me how he literally fell in love with simon when he was singing for him when he was being welcomed to hillerska. the glance around at erik and august like "are you seeing this shit?" or "are we watching the same thing?" look because of simon is so iconic. and the smile is so sweet. his first gay panic experience. moving on, it reminds me of how they sang the same song together later in this same episode "it takes a fool to remain sane". finally, when wilhelm was PISSED because simon couldnt sing his song at the jubilee(and they broke up yet again) and he asked jan olaf about it. he really wanted to see simon perform that for him ): and for simon to be able to perform his song and be happy. at least wilhelm was able to give his wonderful speech. really i am so proud of him, nobody could have expected this from him, especially at this point. not even simon! "it was a.. um.. a moment i didnt want to share, with anyone else, so i lied about it". he has matured so much in such little time, he didnt even want to give this speech either. he shouldnt have to. his anxiety must have been through the roof and he probably threw up afterwards. and of course the infamous consequences. the only reason the queen talks with her son. at least he has simon with him now to hold him when it gets too much(no more fights season 3 please i beg i cant handle it after season 2, the ending did kind of make up for it all though). i got a little off topic but you get the point. also, i brought each of these different scenes up because the ending specifically repeated this lyric several times, like all of these different moments line up. its literally wilmons song, you cant tell me otherwise.

well, that was a lot. i have been thinking about this for WEEKS. months even. and while i typically wouldnt post something like this, i put soso much thought into writing this. like ive actually put so much thought into this its driving me insane. its literally wilmons song, in my opinion. i also just needed a reason to talk about my favorite song and band and relate it to my favorite show. please listen to the song(or anything by los camp! theyre AMAZING). thats really all i need in life, for more people to hear this masterpiece.

🩷💜 thank you💜🩷

i dont know if i will ever do anything like this again, perhaps. im not sure. i did actually enjoy writing this though. i didnt originally plan on writing anything significant but i got carried away. i was supposed to be drawing more wilmon, i want to finish it before season 3 is officially out but it is just so detailed📚. someone yell at me to finish the drawing PLEASE ! time is ticking but its so fucking DETAILED and TEDIOUS. oh my god theres only a week left WHAT THE FUCKK. anyways i loved this [: very fun!

[if there are any typos or just flat out mistakes, either no there isnt or just let me know, i probably wont fix it but i appreciate it. i also want to say i am aware i am HORRIBLE at staying on topic i just had so many things ive wanted to say]

💜

[persephoneandherhades]

I cant emphasize this enough. IF YOU THINK AT ALL EVER THAT YOU MIGHT MAYBE HAVE SLEEP APNEA, GET TESTED.

I have been dealing with sleep issues for so many years, at least since my early teens. I legitimately thought it was just depression fucking with me. And yeah depression played its part. However as i found out several months ago, it was far from the only reason. I snore, all night and very loudly. Someone told me that if you snore really loudly you might have sleep apnea so i talked to my doctor about it. I wasnt totally convinced so we did a take home pulseox monitor test to see if my readings over night might indicate if it was possible. It was very much possible. I am now convinced so i agree to an overnight sleep study in the hospital. the whole shabang. They put electrodes or whatever all over my body and i slept. I got up, checked out. They said ur doc will be in touch with your results and sent me on my way.

In my personal experience, nothing in the medical world works quickly unless death is on the line and sometimes not even then. So i was more than a little surprised and concerned when i got a call from the sleep doctor's office affiliated with the hospital i was tested at only a few hours later. They scheduled me an appointment to come in and discuss next steps and the appointment was so soon, i knew they squeezed me in because no doctors in my area have availability that quickly. I go to the appointment and im very nervous and this very concerned woman started explaining more about sleep apnea and my results.

The average adult stops breathing 3-5 times a night. I stopped breathing 117 times in 1 HOUR.

Do you know what its like to be told you are basically fighting for your life in your sleep every night? Its TERRIFYING. This poor woman was horrified on my behalf and ordered a cpap machine for me. Unfortunately due to the supply chain issues, cpap machines had months long wait list. So when i was laid off work a month later causing me to loose my health insurance, i wasnt even close to getting a machine. So i get a new job and wait the 3 months to get insurance and start the process of finding doctors that my new insurance will cover. So now 5 months after my sleep study i am sitting in another sleep doctors office. I hand this man the papers detailing my sleep study and watch the blood drain from his face while he reads.

If you have never scared a doctor before I wouldn't recommend it.

This poor man sees that i have been waiting to get a cpap machine for 5 months and puts in the order for one. While he is putting in the order he is trying very hard to be casual while asking me questions that boil down to how the fuck do function normally? How can you drive a car without falling asleep at the wheel? I then have to admit that i have been compensating for extreme exhaustion since i was a teenager so its all very normal for me now. I thank him for his time and go about my day.

This doctor let me know that the wait for a cpap now is about 3 weeks so im already happy, like that is sooo much shorter than it was 5 months ago. He says the home health equipment office will call me when my machine comes in.

I got the call from the home health office that same day. Turns out i horrified that sleep doctor so much that he put a rush on my cpap order so i got bumped to the front of the list. I had my machine 2 days later.

I have had this thing for 3 weeks now and i cant describe how amazing i feel. I am used to waking up at least a dozen times a night, now its only once or twice. Im used to having trouble keeping my eyes open long enough to turn off my alarm clock in the morning and i am used to making myself keep moving so i dont instantly fall back asleep. Now i am awake and alert when my alarm goes off. I dont wake up already exhausted anymore. I learned early in my driving life that i have to listen to audiobooks in the car to keep my mind engaged enough to not start to fall asleep at the wheel. For the first time in years i was able to just listen to music in the car and not start nodding off. I haven't needed to take a nap after work even once.

I have been told that i might not notice changes until after the first month with the machine so i am so excited about what else might change because of this machine. I cried actual tears the other day because of it.

It has already changed my day to day life significantly. The machine is so small for the miracle it has already given me. I cant even hear it when its on. I have a fan on at night and the machine is quieter than my fan.

Getting tested is so so worth it. The benefit to your life could be so significant.

I have other things that i need to take care of for my health but taking care of this one has made it easier to work on the others.

If you think you might have it, get tested.