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aminiatureworld · 3 years

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Enigmatic Feelings

Characters: Albedo, Diluc, Xiao, Zhongli, gn!reader

Word Count: 5,544

Warnings: None

Premise: Love is a potent force. And sometimes little things take on larger meanings, especially when one party is unaware of them.

In which the reader’s s/o is jealous

Author’s Note: This trope is 100% my guilty pleasure. I hope I did it justice.

I also realized while writing this that all these characters have the emotional understanding of a teaspoon, but they’re trying their best, so that’s what counts.

Albedo

Albedo was many things. A great alchemist, a man of secrets, a weapon with which one might someday bring destruction. He was even a lover, albeit an unpracticed one. But what he was not was emotional. Or so he thought.

Of course Albedo knew what jealousy was, knew the sort of stupidity that people could fall into when altogether too infatuated with their own love. But just because one knows what jealousy is does not mean one must fall prey to such things. Or so Albedo assumed.

It was the fourth day in a row that a knight had approached your door. Friedrich was his name, and he was doing a stellar job at capturing your attention, and pulling on emotions that Albedo had long told himself he didn’t contain.

Today the flower was a Windwheel Aster, swaying this way and that in the pocket of space between your two hands. You were smiling at it, or rather at Friedrich, brightly, fingers mere moments away from Friedrich as you went to claim the fourth flower this week. Though the was nothing necessarily untoward in Friedrich’s movements, and Albedo would much rather a person of integrity be attempting to woo you, even if the idea itself turned knots in his stomach; nevertheless it still left a bad taste in the alchemist’s mouth, and a worry in his heart that he was not so immune to jealousy as he’d previous assumed.

“Thank you!” You spoke to Friedrich, giving one last wave before walking back over to Albedo. “Albedo look! It’s a Windwheel Aster. It’s very nice of Friedrich to give me one, maybe I can use it, or maybe it’ll be helpful for your experiments?”

“Yes, thank you. I, I think you should keep it.”

As much as Albedo wanted to take the flower and throw it in the incinerator, he couldn’t bring himself to shatter the smile on your face. No matter how dearly it cost him to see you smile down once more at the delicate red petals. And no matter how much it haunted him the rest of the day to imagine you, face framed by a smile, a bouquet of a random knight’s making in your hands.

That knight as Albedo put away the Bunsen burners and the graduated cylinders he kept his mind preoccupied by thoughts of you. Surely he had to tell you his feelings, for if not they would keep building in his chest; building and building until one day he erupted, with you in the line of fire rather than the knight who was creating this whole dilemma, perhaps even unwittingly. Though Albedo had never been in a relationship before he knew stories. Weren’t books full of those kinds of moments? Men, women, people, all of them running over one another in their misunderstanding, in their overwhelming guilt.

No, he wouldn’t turn out like that, wouldn’t let the two of you be hurt in such a way. He had to tell you. Had to make you understand how much his chest constricted when he saw you carrying the gifts of others, had to let it be known before he lost control of these emotions. After all, wasn’t that what happened with emotions? They grow and grow and one day they spill over. And Albedo never wanted these emotions to spill over. No matter the cost.

“May I tell you something?”

The sunlight was streaming through the laboratory windows, the air warm enough that Sucrose had tied up her hair during her shift. And yet Albedo felt cold, oh so cold. He was going to tell you today. He hadn’t been able to tell you three days ago, nor two days ago, nor yesterday. And now the bouquet of flowers that occupied a tiny glass on the windowsill felt quite large indeed. Today would be day eight if Friedrich showed up at lunchtime, and before that Albedo would tell you.

“Of course you can Albedo, I’m all ears!”

You turned around, a soft smile once more spreading across your face. Putting down the pencil you’d been holding you leaned back against the lab table. Albedo took in a deep breath. He could do this. He would do this. He had to do this. No matter what, today. Today, he would do this.

“I-I’m jealous.” The words hung in the air for a moment, as if not understood.

“Jealous?” You tilted your head slightly, worry making your smile slip. “Albedo, jealous of what?”

“Of Friedrich, of you and Friedrich, or rather, I mean, of Friedrich giving you flowers.” Albedo paused, words tangling in his mouth, tripping on each other in an attempt to be understood. What if this was a mistake.

“Albedo,” you shook you head softly, walking over to cup your partner’s face, “I promise that there’s nothing in it. The flowers are lovely, of course, but nothing in this world could replace or stem my love for you. You have nothing to worry about.”

“I know,” Albedo replied hurriedly, worried still that he might be misunderstood, “I’m not trying to accuse you of anything, or say that I doubt you. My love, I will never doubt you. I just, I just feel so uncomfortable when he brings you flowers. It feels like, like I don’t know; it feels like I’m being poisoned, suddenly and all at once. And I don’t want it to affect the way I act towards you. So, so I wanted to tell you. You don’t have to stop, if those flowers make you happy then that’s what matters. But, but I just wanted to tell you.”

You said nothing, staring into Albedo’s eyes, gaze piercing through the alchemist. It was always that way with you. How you managed to destroy the control he thought he had, the wall he’d erected between himself and humanity. How you made him feel unsure and fallible and whole. And, just as before, now your gaze softened and you shook your head, your smile a balm for the raw unfamiliarity of putting together emotions.

“It’s okay Albedo, I’m glad you told me. Just like my emotions matter to you, I’d rather not see you unhappy. To be honest, I just never saw Friedrich’s actions in the way that he probably meant them. We all struggle with our feelings sometimes, I do just like you. Just as long as well tell each other, all will be well. Alright?”

“Yes. Thank you. I don’t know what I do without you.”

“Well you’ll never have to find out, so it doesn’t matter!”

There was no eighth flower that day, at least not one that was successfully given. Albedo supposed that he could pity Friedrich, but in reality he felt nothing but relief. The emotions that had left such a bad taste in his mouth seemed so far away now, for there was you, only you. It would only ever be you for him, and the days in which you said the same thing of him Albedo felt as if he could truly be happy, and truly acknowledge the emotions that swirled inside him, the love for you so great it spilled over into a vast ocean.

Diluc

Diluc found most merchants loathsome, something perhaps not entirely fair considering his own status as a mover of goods.

Still, merchants in general were an unlikeable bunch. Prone to complacency and greed, this elite circle was comprised of people who thought of little than of ways to line their pockets anew. It disgusted Diluc and as he stood there, watching as a man who had enough jewelry on his body to weigh down a pack mule and a smile that made one want to run in the other direction, throw compliments and boasts your way, the winery owner was reminded about all that was wrong with the world in which he worked.

“So your goal is to attempt to find a route through which we might trade our wine in Inazuma?” You repeated the words the man had just spoken, expression skeptical. “As much as it would mean good business to begin another trade route, I believe the border restrictions will cause no little difficulty.”

“Restrictions such as those are nothing for a man like me.” The merchant smile once more and Diluc felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight up. “I have the ability to wave past such an issue. Indeed with the right price I believe I could expand your network to include all of the seven major lands, if you haven’t been trading internationally.”

“Thank you for your offer.” You replied, too focused on the work in front of you to notice the merchant’s roving sort of gaze. “I’ll see what Master Diluc has to say. However I warn you, as much as international exports are important for a growing trade, smuggling wine into locked countries will do little good. Especially considering what the damage could do to this winery’s reputation if such a thing was found out.”

“Don’t worry, I assure you my methods are completely secure. In fact, if you’d like to discuss it in more depth, I do believe that I may be able to enlighten you over a meal.”

“Perhaps, although Master Diluc would certainly have to be there.” You smiled slightly, and Diluc wondered for a moment if you were being purposefully oblivious or simply didn’t notice the meaning behind the merchant’s words.

“I will be back tomorrow, perhaps you’ll have an answer then?”

“I’m sure I will.” You replied, smiling as the two of you shook hands. As the merchant walked out of the winery your smile morphed into a sort of smirk and you looked up towards the balcony of the second floor.

“You can come out now Diluc, I know you’re there.”

Diluc couldn’t help but smile at those words, he truly couldn’t get anything past you. Hurrying down the stairs he swept you up in his arms, sighing slightly into your neck as you tightened the embrace.

“Ever so observant, my darling.”

“I know that you’d never let a transaction or a business conversation take place without your knowledge.” There was a playfulness to your voice, coming from the knowledge that you were utterly correct. “Still, you could’ve come downstairs you know. I don’t think that anyone would need to believe that you were going through your ‘very important paperwork, and lurking around is your night job.’”

“It seemed somehow wrong to suddenly appear in front of you two and derail the conversation.” Diluc drew away and placed a soft kiss on the tip of your nose, chuckling when you immediately wrinkled it. “Especially since you were doing so well on your own.”

“Oh he’s just like the rest of them,” you sighed, “altogether a bit too full of themselves.”

“Especially in this one’s case.” Diluc said, finally letting a scowl cross his face.

“What do you mean?”

The look on your face was one of innocence and confusion, and for a moment Diluc felt his thoughts stammer, as he realized that you truly were unaware of the way that the merchant was looking at you, unaware of the manner which caused Diluc even now to continue to press his hand gently against your lower back. If you didn’t notice it, then surely Diluc was overreacting, surely there was no reason for his heart to stutter and his stomach to drop. Surely there was no reason, and surely he shouldn’t tell you.

“Nothing at all, I just didn’t like his face.” He hurried now to reply, realizing how odd his pause must’ve seemed. “Will you be accepting his proposal for a business dinner?”

“I’m not sure. I suppose it couldn’t hurt. And then it might be a good venue for the two of you to talk. Since you find him especially ghastly, I think a more public meeting might be easier.”

“Perhaps, but I don’t think that invitation was meant for me.” Diluc replied, before realizing his gaffe and falling silent.

“What? What do you mean of course it’s meant for you. I mean you are the owner of the Winery. Who else would it be for?”

“For, for you my darling. Why else would he ask you in such a way?” Diluc tried to keep the acid out of his words. It wasn’t your fault after all. It wasn’t your fault that some louche was asking after you.

“But I’m not the one in charge.” You furrowed your brow. “I can’t make the final decision. And I won’t allow him to attempt to bypass getting your permission either.”

“My darling, I, I think he meant it a different way.”

“What way?”

Diluc sighed, capitulating quickly to his want to tell you. Even if it was perhaps selfish of him, he was never truly good at keeping his feelings masked away, at least in a way that didn’t result in him completely shutting down. And you meant to much to him than for Diluc to try and lie to you.

“You see, I think he was attempting to ask you on a more romantic sort of dinner.”

“What?”

Your reaction was immediate, your expression quickly turning into one of shock and then of disgust. Letting out a groan you buried your face into the front of Diluc’s coat, eliciting a short laugh from its owner.

“Why? I… I… Even if I weren’t in love with you I’d never go out to dinner with him.”

“I don’t think he would appreciate the sentiment.”

“Diluc.” You let out another groan, shaking your head as if to rid yourself of the thought. “Archons, ugh thank you for telling me. I, disgusting.”

Diluc said nothing, simply tightening the hold of his arms around you. Though your reaction was certainly justifiable he knew there was something more behind them, and he felt grateful for your consideration. Though he knew that would always have been your reaction, it didn’t stop the pressure that ha been building in his chest, the thoughts that screamed what if, what if, what if. What if there is something better than you.

“Hey, are you alright?” You voice drifted up through the fabric of Diluc coat. He smiled, relaxing his grasp around you and pressing a soft kiss to the crown of your head.

“I will be. May I hold you a little longer?”

“Of course. You’re the only one for me, you know.”

“And you for me. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Those words, though so small, were somehow enough.

Xiao

The new guest at the inn had been speaking to you for quite some time. That was Xiao’s first observation. The second was that you didn’t seem to mind. The third was that for some reason he suddenly felt incredibly irritated.

It was a beautiful evening, the kind that would’ve normally had you and Xiao sitting on the roof together, fingers entwined, the silence of nature cushioning the two of your from the outside world. It was a ritual, something that Xiao had come to rely on, had come to almost sanctify. Yet here he was, sitting on one of the thicker branches of the trees that dotted the outside of the Inn, trying desperately to quench the anger that bloomed in his chest as he watched you and the guest talk the minutes away.

Perhaps the worst part was that you didn’t seem to mind. Instead of pulling the conversation towards a close, you seemed perfectly content to keep talking, smiling brightly and quickly answering the questions of this uninvited guest. Normally Xiao didn’t care about , or rather didn’t keep track of, the people you spoke to. Of course you would have friends, would have people that mattered to you. Just because Xiao had disconnected himself from humanity didn’t mean that you had to. So why was he so angry?

His patience ran out when the guest reached for your hand. Sidling next to you as fast as he could Xiao peeled off his invisibility, enjoying the shock that registered across the uninvited guest’s face as he moved his hand back. Reaching to entwine his hand with yours Xiao shifted his gaze towards your face. Shock was painted into your expression, but there was also something else, a glimmer of happiness or of satisfaction. Somehow it unnerved Xiao, and he focused instead on the task at hand, whatever that task was.

“It’s getting late.”

“Oh, of course.” Turning back to the guest you smiled sheepishly. “I’m sorry to cut this short, but perhaps we’ll speak again some other time?”

“Gladly!” The man’s face lit up, before Xiao’s glaring left him scampering down the steps.

“Xiao, is something wrong?” The question was so genuine, without any sense of knowing more than you let. Unfortunately the question was also unanswerable.

“It’s late. We should go.” Xiao gestured towards the roof, hoping the reminder would flush the question out of your head.

“You’re right, I suppose it is getting late. And we wouldn’t want to waste such a wonderful evening.” You smiled. And yet somehow Xiao felt unplacated. He was happy, wasn’t he? So why, why did the question hang in the air, and why did the discontent remain?

The next day was a lazy one, as Xiao waited for you to be done with work. More than usual he missed you, and he wished that the hours would go faster, so he might be able to once more enjoy your presence, to banish the discontent that he still felt, evening after an hour spent wholly in your company.

Eventually the sun made its descent from the heavens, and Xiao pulled himself once more to the perch on the tree he’d taken the night before. Gazing down at the balcony he saw the familiar figure of the unwanted guest, and a stab of anger flashed through him. This was made all the worse by your entrance, and the fact you once more stopped to make time for this intruder.

The man was just as insufferable as before, full of jokes that Xiao didn’t understand and words that though praising of you felt somewhat hollow, almost insulting. You laughed along to these jokes, smiled at these odd compliments. And when the man asked if you might be willing to talk more over some sort of meal you merely smiled.

Xiao, however, found the whole ordeal unbearable. Why should this person be asking all these things, be prying you with words of intimacy and familiarity. Had he not arrived yesterday? Was he not an utter stranger? Confusion mixed with irritation in Xiao’s head, and he found it difficult to hold on to the stony reason he’d built up. What was going on? What was this terrible feeling of anger and want? He couldn’t understand human ways. Less could he understand why they should have any sort of effect on him.

Still he had to do something. Had to do anything. Swooping down once more Xiao began the same charade. This time, however, the man merely jumped, and for all his glaring Xiao couldn’t dislodge the guest from his place on the balcony.

“It’s late.”

“Ah it is. Are you hungry?” He asked, addressing you once more.

“I’m not at all, but Xiao’s right. It is late. If you haven’t eaten yet then perhaps you should. Smiley Yanxiao is quite strict about his rest.”

“Ah, then perhaps you’re right. Still, why not join me? You can tell me your name, and we can talk a little more about the things you do.”

“You don’t even know their name.” Xiao spat out the sentence, barely able to contain the odd sort of irritation that still spun around him. He asked you all those questions, said all those words of praise, all without knowing your name. It felt somehow dehumanizing, somehow… wrong.

“I would be glad to learn it.” The man smiled.

Xiao simply shook his head. He needed to leave. It was becoming too much again, and the last thing Xiao wanted was for a stranger to see him this way, see him unsure and confused and not a little frightened of these alien emotions. Glaring at the man one more time Xiao scooped you up. Ignoring the surprised shriek that you let out he shot up into the sky, moving towards the familiar sanctuary of Jueyen Karst, deeply grateful that the guest, whatever he could do, could never fly.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” You asked, barely giving Xiao the time to set you down onto one of Liyue’s sloping peaks before asking him the one question he couldn’t answer.

“Nothing.”

“Well it’s certainly not nothing. You’re being awfully rude to that guest, and I can’t understand why. Usually you don’t really care about those sorts of things. So something must be wrong, and I want to know what it is.”

A pause.

“Please.”

“I can’t.” It was all Xiao could say, the only thing that would truly encompass the truth, because in truth he couldn’t. He himself didn’t understand it.

“What do you mean you can’t?”

“My chest hurts.”

“What?” Immediately your face shifted into one of worry, and you placed a soft hand over Xiao’s heart. Somehow the gesture was calming, and Xiao closed his eyes, enjoying the receding of the hot bands that had just been restricting him.

“My chest hurt when I saw you with that, that guest. My chest hurt and I felt angry. That’s what’s wrong. My chest hurt, but now it doesn’t; and I don’t understand it.”

There was a pause, and Xiao studied the expressions on your face, watched as they shifted from worry to confusion to caution.

“Xiao, is it possible you were jealous?”

“No.” The idea was somehow insulting.

“It’s alright to be jealous Xiao. It just means you care about someone very much. You don’t have to just dismiss it like that. I want to make sure that you’re alright, so please be honest. Is it possible you were jealous?”

Xiao let another gap form in the conversation, trying to figure out how to answer. The suggestion felt demeaning, felt as if he somehow had no control over himself, no trust of you. And yet it somehow made sense, and even as he shook his head he found himself letting out a different answer.

“I don’t know.”

“It’s okay if you don’t. I know that new emotions can be frightening, can be difficult to deal with. But Xiao, I’ll always love you. It doesn’t matter who else I meet or what else happens in my life. I love you the way that a bird loves the sky. You’re a part of my life I could never lose. So even if this isn’t jealousy, even if I’m wrong, I still want to let you know. I love you.”

Xiao sighed, a smile finally gracing his lips, the pain in his chest finally melting away. What did he ever do to deserve such a person as you, he would never know. He wished he could repeat those words back to you word for word, wished that he could explain that his love for you was all encompassing, had seeped through the cracks of his existence and his life. He wished he could form together the words necessary to convey his love for you. Even if it was impossible he still wished it.

So instead he leaned over towards you. Letting out a gentle sigh he brought his lips to yours, reveling in the soft sensation of your mouth against his, reveling in the way you leaned against him, bringing you arm up to his neck, letting out a soft breath of contentment as the two of you disconnected.

You didn’t ask him anything else, and for the rest of the evening you two sat on the grass, watching the fireflies dance around you as you leaned against one another.

Perhaps Xiao didn’t yet understand the extent to which he loved you, the emotions that had now risen up, given life by the love you’d poured into the adeptus. Perhaps he didn’t understand this yet, but he knew that all would be well. For with you all that irritation seemed so far away, as if it belonged to a Xiao of yesterday. Because here and now you two were together, breathing in the same mutual contentment, the same mutual trust, the same mutual love. And that present was more important than any jealousy could be.

Zhongli

Looking back on the matter Zhongli admitted that maybe pretending the problem didn’t exist was probably not the best solution.

It was only that you two had seemed so oddly content in talking, so, compatible, that Zhongli couldn’t help but feel a twinge of discontent, a tension that spread through his jaw and down to his stomach. He didn’t quite understand the nature of the emotion that now spread over him, but he did understand that it was connected to the bond that was now forming between you and the vendor in front of you.

“Dearest one.” He spoke softly, walking over to where you now stood.

“Oh, Zhongli!” Your face lit up as usual, and the ex-archon felt a piece of him uncoil. At least some things seemed to be unchanging, just as wonderful today as they had been the day before.

“I’ve been looking for you. I know you spoke of wanting to learn more about the nature of Cor Lapis, and the tea shop has been offering a new brew. Perhaps we could share a drink?”

“Oh that sounds lovely!” Turning around towards the vendor you smiled gently. “I’m sorry, I’ll have to try that lovely soup you were speaking of some other time.”

“Not at all!” The vendor’s smile was good natured, and Zhongli didn’t understand why he nevertheless felt a twinge of uncertainty. “I look forward to it. I hope you two have a nice day, and we’ll talk about it more later.”

Though the stall receded into the distance as the two of you turned the corner, Zhongli couldn’t help but let the moment run through his mind once more, finding it as sore to think about as a bruise might be to the touch.

“That vendor? Oh they’re new on the scene.” You smiled, taking a sip of tea.

The tea house was as calming as ever, the noises of the outside a distant song, and the hushed whispers inside adding to the intimate atmosphere. Zhongli normally loved to sit here, drinking cup after cup of tea, watching as the people came and went about their business, immersed in a small fragment of Liyue life. Now, however, he found he couldn’t stop thinking about the vendor. If he closed his eyes he could still remember their face, and the way yours was lit up while they were talking to you.

“Their name is Eli.” You continued on, oblivious to the way Zhongli’s hand tightened around his teacup. “They said that they set up shop maybe… two weeks ago? It hasn’t been a very long time, and they’re still struggling a bit. I hope that they’ll be able to get their business off the ground, who knew that street food was such a cutthroat world.”

“The city of Liyue is full of people who might make their way in the world, doing whatever they can. Perhaps it is unsurprising that competition is second nature to Liyue’s citizens.” Zhongli replied, hoping his tone wasn’t too curt. If it was you didn’t seem to mind, nodding softly in agreement.

“Speaking of Liyue and stories, perhaps you would like to tell me the story you were going to tell? I very much doubt that Cor Lapis is the blood of Morax.”

“How humans love to spin their stories.” Zhongli chuckled.

But even as he began to speak of jewels and pressure and the minerals that lay deep beneath the earth a bit of him was still preoccupied by the vendor’s easy words and your smiling face.

The next time he ran into you with the vendor the pit in his stomach had only gotten heavier. Standing a little ways away he let the conversation between the two of you flow in and out his ear, frown slipping deeper the more he heard.

“I cannot believe that your stall nearly caught fire on your first day! How unlucky.”

“Even worse that I didn’t know who to try and tell about it. If I had known you were part of the Guild then I would’ve asked you.”

“Well next time there are troubles you can just send a message to the Adventurer’s Guild. We can’t have our citizens being injured on our watch.”

“You sound like true heroes. I wish I could do the sorts of things you did. Your commissions sound fascinating! I would love to see how you go about your day some time.”

“Really it’s nothing, most days it’s quite boring really, just like any other job. Still, it’s nice to know that people have an interest in what we do.”

“Oh certainly! I find what you do very interest– ”

“My dearest one!” Zhongli called out, unable to continue listening to the conversation, feeling somewhat guilty and certainly upset. You turned slightly, smile brightening as you saw your partner.

“Zhongli! So sorry that I didn’t meet you outside your office, I must’ve lost track of the time. Eli here was telling me all about their first days at work.”

“I’m sorry that I got out late. I hope that you did not have to wait awhile.”

“Oh not at all Zhongli, like I said I’ve just been standing here. You don’t need to feel bad at all!”

“I’m glad. Perhaps now we can go?”

Zhongli attempted to smile, but it felt a lot more like a grimace. You stared at him, face the picture of confusion. Taking a step forward you glanced one more time at Eli, shrugging apologetically. Before any more words could be passed between the two of you Zhongli grabbed onto your hand. Walking quite quickly he didn’t let go until the two of you were at your apartment and he could finally breathe again.

“Zhongli, what’s the matter with you?” You asked, closing the apartment door behind you. Walking back towards Zhongli, who stood there silently, you let your hands rest lightly on his shoulders. “You can tell me you know, I can tell you’re unhappy.”

“I have a confession.” Zhongli started, feeling somehow compelled to reveal his thoughts, as if keeping them locked away would only be dangerous.

“Yes?”

“I, I did not like the way that the vendor spoke to you.”

“Eli? But they were perfectly nice.”

“I do not mean that they were rude. They were perfectly cordial. I mean, when the two of you were speaking, I, I felt uncomfortable. It was as if there was a barrier between us in that moment. I, I did not like it.”

“Oh Zhongli.” You breathed out, an indulgent smile on your face.

Reaching up you planted fleeting kisses on the archon’s face, peppering his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, touch featherlight. It was a familiar gesture, one of comfort, one used in darker nights, when shadows dotted the periphery of Zhongli’s vision.

“Zhongli, I assume you know what jealousy is?”

“I know the term and what it means. I admit I am not personally familiar with the concept.”

“Well I am, so let me tell you. What you experienced, that was jealousy, plain and simple. I know it’s very uncomfortable. Jealousy can be such a messy feeling, it sticks everywhere. But it’s also normal. So you don’t need to worry. I promise that nothing will happen, and I promise that these feelings would go away. I also promise that I love you very much, so even if you feel these emotions, you don’t have to worry.”

“How could I ever worry about you?” Zhongli murmured, wrapping his arms around you, basking in your proximity.

The apology only came in the evening, after words and kisses and love had hung long enough in the air to dull the feelings that Zhongli had been carrying around. Now he lay there next to you, chin resting gently on your head, suddenly realizing that he’d most likely acted quite rudely.

“I’m sorry I ignored Eli.”

“I’m sure they’ll understand.” You murmured. “Though I’m not actually sure what got you riled up about them.”

“You are also a bit oblivious dearest one,” Zhongli let out a soft laugh, “it seems they were quite taken with you.”

“Were they?” You asked, tone betraying your surprise. You paused for a moment, as if trying to replay your interactions. “I never noticed. To be honest, I don’t think I could ever notice, not when I have you.”

“Thank you.” Zhongli whispered, oddly overcome by the confession.

As he lay awake, carding gentle fingers through your hair and listening to the even breaths of your sleeping form he pondered just how lucky he was. Precious gems might come from pressure and earth and chance. But you were more precious than all of them. And he’d never forget that.

#genshin impact fanfiction #albedo x reader #diluc x reader #xiao x reader #zhongli x reader #genshin impact #albedo #diluc #xiao #zhongli #scenarios #requested #my writing

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ithinkilikeit-reactions · 3 years

Text

Siren Song (Song Mingi)

Ateez Masterlist Group Masterlist

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MINGI!!!!! I hope he has an amazing day

I wrote this being incredibly inspired and I quite like how it turned out so please let me know what you think

Tags: Pirate au! Mingi x Fem siren! Reader, death, nudity, alcohol

Smut tags: Quite soft, explorative, Mingi is curious, oral (reader receiving), passionate sex, body worship, a lot of kissing, cumming inside

Word count: 6177

Sirens, they were a beautiful myth. A story that sailors told to convince themselves they weren’t going mad at sea. A legend... if that’s what you believed in.

But they weren’t a legend, they were very real. Some pirates and sailors would tell you that, tell you their stories. That they had heard their beautiful songs at sea and were almost lured in. Although not many, if any believed them. Being a pirate or at sea for a long period of time makes a man lose his credibility. However sirens, were very very real.

Mingi was new to the boat, a fresh faced, wide eyed, young man who was ready to see the world. Becoming a pirate wasn’t something he had planned, it’s not something anyone truly plans. But society had failed him, because of his status. Being accused of something he didn’t do and found guilty, he didn’t have a choice but to run. Mingi feared nothing more than death, if he was caught he’d surely be hanged.

No, becoming a pirate was never what he had planned. After running, he stowed away on a goods ship and somehow found himself in a pirate hotspot. Surrounded by pillagers, murderers and some things even possibly worse, he was terrified. Until a cheery man approached him named Kim Hongjoong, had a proposition for him, an offer to get Mingi out of there and give him a family. A man in his position could hardly say no.

Now he was here, staring over the rails of the ship as they sailed slowly over misty water. He hadn’t been on waters like this in his entire life. They were filled with mystery, so much so it gave Mingi the feeling of fear in the pit of his stomach.

“Carefull, lean over too far and you might fall in.” Yunho joked as he placed some crates on the deck. “I could’ve sworn I saw-” “You saw something in the water? Not uncommon in these parts.” Yunho told the younger, watching his expression shift. Mingi was a bit paranoid, you had to be when you’re life took a turn the way his did.

“It’s common here?” Mingi asked, feeling a wave of security flow over him. He was just relieved to know he wasn’t the only one seeing things. “Very common. Don’t scare him Yunho, you were just as scared as him the first time you came here.” Captain Hongjoong’s voice startled the both of them, making them whip their heads around. “Sorry captain, I couldn’t help myself.” Yunho apologized and the captain shook his head with a smile. “Go bring those crates down to storage, Yeosang is waiting on them.” Yunho wasn’t one to disobey orders, so he grabbed them and left.

“Don’t let them make you crazy. Or this part of the sea. I’ve known plenty of men who’ve gone crazy in these parts. I like you Mingi, don’t let yourself become one of them.” Hongjoong placed his hand on the younger’s back and watched as he smiled at him. “I won’t, Captain.” Mingi laughed slightly, feeling more at ease by the second. Hongjoong smiled at him in return before going to walk away, only to turn back at the last moment. “If you hear the sweet song of a woman, ignore it.”

All that ease Mingi felt suddenly disappeared at those words, because well he didn’t quite understand what he meant. Siren’s weren’t common knowledge or a local myth in the town he grew up in.

Scared, the man backed away from the railing and carried on with his tasks. Ignoring any sound that came from anywhere other than the ship. He was so immensly paranoid now , but there was also something in the back of his mind that his crew mates were just messing with him.

That evening, he found himself drinking with Wooyoung and San, admittedly his first mistake. He didn’t know how it was possible but with those two, he found himself drinking way more than he normally would. At least he was a happy drunk, cheery as ever this way and almost forgetting the reason he was there in the first place. The crew felt like real friends however, similar to one’s he had before running away so he didn’t quite have the right to complain.

Mingi placed his bottle down on the deck and swayed over to the side of the boat. He felt like he was going to be sick, not that Wooyoung and San would’ve noticed. No they had long fallen asleep like the rest of the crew

Leaning over the deck, he looked at the black water. It was terrifying to him because of how deep it was. He couldn’t see anything, just a sea of black surrounding him. If he wasn’t nauseous before, he most definitely was now.

When he looked back at the water, he wasn’t expecting to see eyes looking back at him. Let alone warm eyes, full of life, blinking at him from the water. It was a woman seemingly bobbing along and just watching him. He could only see her face and he wasn’t even sure he was actually seeing it.

“It’s the alcohol.” He mumbled to himself, blinking and rubbing his eyes. But she didn’t disappear from sight. As a matter of fact, it seemed like she had swam closer. “Are you a pirate?” Her voice was smooth, warm in contrast to the brisk air and it made her all the more real. Mingi was frozen, just staring back at her with wide eyes and taking in the details.

It seemed like she was surrounded by light, it reflected off of her damp skin as she raised her head and body more. Now exposing her bare shoulders, he realised she wasn’t wearing any clothing and averted his eyes, but only for a moment. He had caught something out of the corner of his eye, something silver that reflected the moon light.

It was a shiny, silver tail that practically glowed. The closer he looked, the more he noticed that it was attached to her and well the more his fear rose. Though he wasn’t sure what the fear stemmed from, if it was not knowing what this creature was, or that he thought it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

“What are you?” He asked, staring at her with an intrigued expression. Mingi couldn’t help but get goosebumps as she laughed, throwing her head back and expelling the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. “That’s not a very kind question... though in hind sight I asked you the same thing.” She said, lifting her hands to move her long wet hair from her face. This left her body even more exposed to him, as she bobbed along the water. Though she didn’t seem fazed by it one bit.

“How about this, you answer my question and I’ll answer yours?” She rebutted and Mingi stood with his mouth agape. “Alright.” He barely choked out and watched as she disappeared under the water, only to appear closer to the ship again. Now that she was closer, he could see her face better and he felt himself get nervous. She was beautiful, an ethereal being.

“Are you a pirate?” She asked again, a curious smile on her face as she looked up at him. “I am.” Mingi responded, watching as she clapped her hands in joy. “Oh I do so much like pirates. So much more interesting than fishermen.” Her eyes sparkled as she spoke and Mingi was lost, as if she had cast spell. “Their stories are so much more interesting.” She added on before locking eyes with him once more.

“Your turn.” She smiled at him and Mingi dried his hands on his pants, the situation had caused a cold sweat to form. “What are you?” His question was simple, yet still made the woman laugh again. “Surely a pirate knows a siren when he sees one, though if that was the case you probably would’ve tried to kill me.” She rambled as her tail splashed the dark water lightly. “A siren?” Mingi asked, not quite having heard the word before. “A siren... surely you’ve heard of them. You must be quite new to sea.” She said softly, the young pirate intrigued her.

“Tell me your name, handsome pirate.” She asked softly and Mingi felt himself doubt whether he should tell her. She somehow managed to see right through him, however she called him handsome and that made a feeling bubble in the pit of his stomach. “Mingi.” He said it softly, merely a whisper, one he didn’t think she could hear. “Mingi.” She repeated much to his surprise. “Mingi... I like the way that feels to say.” She added on and he leaned down a bit more, trying to get closer to her.

“Mingi, make sure to ask your crew about sirens.” She giggled before disappearing underwater, only to appear further away. Mingi’s heart sank, not wanting her to go, not yet. “Wait! Wait! At least tell me your name!” He called out to her, watching as she halted once more. She turned to look at him and with small laugh, she told him. “Y/N, my name is Y/N.”

Mingi couldn’t find sleep, not at all after that. There was question in his mind whether all that he saw that night really happened. He had drank a lot and he had been at sea longer than ever before. It must’ve been a dream, a vision even. You were a dream, a vision.

“Did you drink that much last night?” Captain Hongjoong asked, staring at his younger crew mate. He was gazing off into the distance, eyes small due to lack of sleep and hands restless. “No, I just couldn’t sleep.” Mingi admitted, not quite wanting to ask anyone about what he had seen. But if anyone would tell him seriously, it would be the captain.

“What’s bothering you?” The man could tell when something was bothering his crew and it was incredibly obvious that something was bothering him. “It’s just something San and Wooyoung said yesterday...” “I told you not to listen to their stories.” The captain laughed and Mingi shook his head. “No, I just- what are sirens?” Mingi choked out the question, the thing that had been on his mind all night. Hongjoong wasn’t expecting the question to lead here, he thought the man knew.

“You don’t know? I thought you did when I made my comments yesterday.” He watched as the younger shook his head. “Well, many think they’re legend. I suppose I understand why, the brain refuses to believe what it can’t see. But they are very much real.” He paused and Mingi was starting to become scared. Maybe it was his captain’s tone of voice, or maybe it was the validation that you weren’t a figment of his imagination.

“They’re beautiful beings, more beautiful than any of the other evil things put on this earth. Top half of a beautiful woman and the bottom half a tail. Not to mention their voices, they lure sailor men in with their song and beauty. Only to drag them to bottom of the ocean and drown them. Most sailors fall for it, they just want a kiss from the beautiful thing so that when they go back home they have a story to tell. Fools, can’t blame the creatures for doing it.” Mingi was mortified at his captain’s words. To think he found you to be the most beautiful thing in the world. The prettiest things were the deadliest, that was what Mingi was starting to learn.

Mingi took the words as warning, if you appeared again he wasn’t going to give you the time of day. At least that’s what he told himself. Despite the tale, he wanted to see you again. So badly, he found himself dreaming about you. His eyes deceived him as stared out at the sea, he could have sworn he saw the sunlight reflect off of your silver tail.

But he had to push the to the side, there was an island incomming. It was nothing more than a small island, no living thing in sight. Nothing but beaches and trees, good enough to hunt and good enough to make sure the men didn’t go crazy on board. Which meant everyone around was scrambling around and preparing to drop the anchor.

His eyes were glued on the water as they rowed to shore. Mingi was entirely sure he would never see you again, they had travelled quite far in the last 2 days and well it’s not like you had a reason to stick around. He was sure of it, but he didn’t want to be right.

The plan was to stay on the island over night, sleep in the tree line and then go back in the morning once they had gathered enough and hunted enough. Simple enough.

Well, night rolled around quickly and the crew was sound asleep. Everyone except Mingi, no he had hardly slept a wink since you visited him. He simply laid in his hammock and counted the stars through the tree tops. That was until he heard a song. An absolutely heavenly voice coming from the shore.

Mingi knew he shouldn’t have gotten up, he knew it. But there was a chance that it was you and he just couldn’t help himself. He wanted to see you again, despite what his captain had told him.

The sand crunched beneath his boots as he slowly walked over to the shore line, scanning the beach and looking for the source of the voice. Looking over, he could see a group of rocks and on top of the largest one, he spotted it. That familiar glow of your tail in the moonlight and the way you looked up at the sky and sang.

Waling slowly, he listened to your song and your beautiful voice as you stared at the night sky. The closer he got, the more he found his chest aching. He couldn’t tell if it was with fear or desire and that line got more blurred the closer he got.

“Mingi!” Your voice was cheery when you noticed him approaching you and it was accompanied with an enthousiastic wave. “Surely Y/N isn’t as malicious as Hongjoong told me.” He thought to himself as he stood in front of the rock. You were as beautiful as ever, sitting in front of him.

“I was hoping you’d be the one to come and find me.” She teased, a soft smirk on her lips as Mingi tried not to gawk at you. “You’re even more handsome up close.” She added on and he felt himself get nervous. “You told me to ask my crew what a siren was. I did.” Mingi told you, playing with his hands so he had something else to look at. “Hmm and what did they tell you?” You were staring at him, truly wanting him to look at you again.

When Mingi finally brought his eyes back to you, he noticed that your tale was gone, now showing a pair of legs and a very, very bare body. “How?-” He stuttered and you laughed, loving the surprise on his face. “They apparently didn’t tell you everything. if we’re dry and on land, we have legs.” You explained, watching as his eyes trailed over your body.

“Are you going to kill me?” Mingi asked, finding it better to be straightforward from this point on. It’s better to have feigned confidence than nothing at all. “No. You fascinate me. I don’t kill the things that fascinate me.” You were so blunt about it, raking your hands through your hair. “Come here, pirate and tell me your story. It’s not every day a pirate doesn’t know the legend of a siren. Whether they believe it or not.” Mingi was caught off guard, not sure what to do. The sea was far enough away, which comforted him because he knew you couldn’t drown him on this rock.

He moved to sit across from you on the rock and tried to avoid staring at your bare body, averting his eyes before shrugging off his vest and handing it to you. “I’m sorry, I’m having a hard time concentrating.” Mingi stuttered, you smiled at him though and an odd feeling shot through your chest. “Most sailors would simply enjoy.” You said and slipped the clothing over your shoulders. Mingi shook his head, a small smile now forming over his own lips. “It’s not that I don’t enjoy it.” He clarified and looked at you wearing his clothes. You were beautiful.

“You’re a different type of man, Mingi.” Why his name sounded so good coming from your lips, he had no idea. But it was absolutely addicting.

“How did you end up out here?” You asked, stretching your legs and leaning back. You loved a good story, where as your sisters didn’t quite like talking but preferred a siren’s typical methods.

“This wasn’t how my life was supposed to be, I wasn’t supposed to end up here.” Mingi had te delve deep for a moment. Sure some of the crew knew his story, but it wasn’t something he told just anyone.

“I lived in a town that was quite progressive, I worked under and iron smith as an apprentice. I did good, I was a good man and i just tried to make it by like anyone else.” You watched as he spoke, taking in his details and tone. He was sad. “I never tried to hurt anyone and if I did it wasn’t on deliberate. But my master, he wasn’t good. He actively tried hurting people, especially ones he hated and he didn’t hate anyone more than his own daughter. I never understood why, she was pretty, kind and well liked among the town but he hated her.” Mingi had to pause, remembering that time, remembering the sweet girl that was always so nice to him when he worked.

“I came into the shop one day and found her, dead on the ground, strangled. Her father did it and pinned it on me. Claiming that I ‘always watched her when she was around’ and that I was ‘just wait for a chance to be alone with her’. I-” Mingi was cut off when a tear dropped from his eyes. You had placed your hand on his chin, wiping it away with your thumb. “You never touched her.” You said softly, scanning his face. “I never did, They were going to hang me for something I didn’t do. I had to run.” You continued to wipe the tears from his face, moving onto your knees to get closer to him.

“And that’s how you ended up here.” You had heard many sad stories in your life, but none of the men had seemed nearly as regretful as Mingi did in this moment. Your hand moved from his chin to his cheek, taking in his handsome features. Even when he was upset, he was handsome. Sharp jawline coupled with a sharp nose and pillowy lips. Definitely one of the more handsome men at sea.

“You know in your heart that you didn’t do it.” You said softly, moving your fingers to thread through his hair. Mingi found himself staring at your face, taking note of your sympathetic face. Surely you weren’t the murderous creature he was told you were.

“My sisters aren’t fond of men, they kill them for sport. But I like hearing the stories, it takes a lot to drive a man out to sea.” You explained and gently pulled his face closer to yours. Mingi felt himself sink into your touch, allowing you to guide him into laying down with his face settled in the crook of your neck. Your skin was soft under his touch and his hands found your waist to hold onto as he relaxed. Your nails scraped over his scalp lightly, making him hum.

“You have a pure soul.” You said softly, enjoying his touch. Mingi didn’t know what had gotten into him, he had went from being scared of you to being held by you and well he was enjoying it. Your touch was comforting.

Your legs tangled with his, fingers still running through his hair. “Go to sleep Mingi. Dawn is almost upon us.” You whispered, kissing his forehead and allowing him to lul to sleep. Mingi had let his guard down fully for you and as ridiculous as it sounded, he was falling in love.

The hours in your arms, were the best hours he had ever slept. Being in such a deep dream that he didn’t think even an earthquake could wake him. He dreamt that he was underwater and absolutely weightless. Just floating under the surface of chrystal clear water. You were swimming circles around him, silver tail catching the rays of light from the sun as you did so. He felt as if he was one with the ocean.

It wasn’t until the feeling of something pushing him (quite roughly) woke him up and brought him back to reality. “Jesus Christ Mingi, we thought you’d be killed by something. What are you doing all the way out here?” Wooyoung’s voice was shrill as he yelled to wake Mingi up. “Huh?” He shot up from his position on the rock, looking around frantically for you. But you were nowhere to be found and well, neither was his vest.

“What are you doing out here?” Wooyoung asked again and Mingi shook his head, needing to come up with a response and fast. “I uhh couldn’t sleep last night, went for a walk and then sat down here. Guess I fell asleep.” He cleared his throat and blinked at his friend. “You’ve been acting strange Mingi. Are you alright?” He asked, voice full of concern. Mingi never acted this odd, Wooyoung was worried.

“I’m fine, just haven’t been sleeping properly.” He admitted and ran his fingers through his hair. Your touch was still lingering on his skin, he could feel you everywhere.

“Captain wants to stay here one more night, founds some caves and a lake he wants to check out.” Wooyoung explained and Mingi nodded. “Alright, I’ll be around in a bit.” Mingi said softly, needing a moment to process some things. Where had you gone?

He had managed to pull himself together, rejoining the crew in exploring the island. Traipsing through the trees, he looked around the area and took it in. One thing he could admit was that he never would have seen half of the beautiful things he had if he had stayed in his village, you included. He couldn’t take that for granted, especially not as he was standing in front of a small waterfall that fell into a small crystal clear lake.

“Wow.” He said quietly, feeling Hongjoong clap his hand onto his back. “Not something you see everyday.” His captain said, a big smile on his face. Mingi couldn’t help but crack a smile himself, shaking his head. “Definitely not something you see everyday.” He laughed, looking over to the waterfall and laughing. The bad feeling he had had about you was gone, the bad feeling in his gut was gone. Airing his worries out to you made him feel better, things were looking up in his opinion. Maybe he would sleep properly from now on too.

The pirates made camp near the water and Mingi found himself once more staring into water. It was so clear but you couldn’t see the bottom. It was deceptively deep, someone could easily make the mistake of swimming too deep and not make it back up for air. It looked like the water from his dream.

The feeling of gentle fingertips gliding over his cheek woke him up that night. He knew his crew wouldn’t spare him the same gentle touch, it had to be you. “Wake up handsome.” Your fingertips moved from his cheek to his chin, stroking it gently as you took in features. Truly handsome.

“Where’d you go this morning?” Mingi asked, eyes opening slowly to see your face. He watched as your lips curled into smile and your eyes sparkled. “Come on.” You said softly, taking his hand into yours. Pulling Mingi from his bed, he didn’t even question it. He had decided that this island was his paradise.

“You stole my vest.” Mingi commented once they were further away from the rest of the crew. He watched you let out a hearty laugh and turn around to look at him. “I found myself quite liking it. I think i could get used to this clothing thing.” You smiled, before tugging him closer to you.

He felt his breath hitch for a moment as your chest met his, it was a natural reaction. The only thing keeping his body from yours was his vest, naturally he was flustered. Mingi pressed his chest against you, the weight of his body making you step backwards until your back hit a boulder.

“You keep calling me handsome.” Mingi remarked, his hand coming up to rest on your bare hip. It was the first time a man’s touch had made goosebumps form over your skin. “You keep calling me handsome and I don’t think I’ve told you how beautiful I think you are.” His words made you almost shiver. Of course you had heard them all before, he wasn’t your first pirate or sailor. But surely they had a different effect on you than most.

You grabbed his chin again, this time with more force than any of the other times. Mingi flinched slightly only to find your lips not inches apart from his and he took the risk. He was going to kiss a siren.

He didn’t intend to kiss you so roughly, but need took over as he pressed his lips to yours. You moved your hands to his hair and gently scratched over his scalp as he kissed you. Deepening the kiss as you did so, you could feel him hum against your lips. His hand moved up, from your hip to your waist underneath vest and his grip tightened slightly.

Mingi moved his hands down to your thighs, lifting you off the ground to lay you down on your back. The vest had shifted, being useless in covering you up at this point, so you simply took it off. He sat on his heels as you wrapped your legs around his waist, not wanting his body to leave yours. You simply looked up at him as he looked over your body, his regularly soft expression having turned dark and intense. It made heat pool inbetween your legs.

Reaching up, you undid the ties on his shirt and tugged it off of him. The action made him laugh before he leaned down and pressed his bare chest to yours. His hands moving your hair out of your face before kissing you again. This kiss was so much more intense, teeth clashing and hips rolling into yours. Not to mention the feeling of his bare skin on yours, you were infatuated with him.

His pants didn’t do much for hiding how much he enjoyed you, bulge pressing directly into your bare core. You let out a gasp at the pressure, making him nip at your lips before trailing the kisses down your jaw. He wasn’t horribly experienced but he knew enough and well he seemed to be doing just fine. That gave him a confidence boost, not to mention every little sound coming out of your mouth, boosted his confidence even more.

“Mingi-” You hummed, feeling his lips over your neck. The kisses were gentle, soft praises being whispered inbetween them. “So beautiful.” He said softly and groaned as you tugged harshly on his hair. Mingi looked you in the eyes and flashed a smile in your direction. “Where did you learn how to kiss like that?” You asked, your fingers tracing over his lips. “I had a life before this.” He chuckled before turning his face back to your skin.

His hands moved to massage your breasts, thumbs swiping over your nipples before latching his lips over one. Sucking at your skin and sending a wave of pleasure through your body and making your arch your back.

Mingi was absolutely straining in his pants now, your body was perfect to him as if you were made for him. Your soft skin, your precious lips and your gentle hands, you were everything he had always wanted.

Your fingers threading through his hair got a bit harsher the more he flicked his tongue of your nipple, you already felt like you were on fire. He moved his lips down over your stomach before stopping at before your core. This was something he had never done, but something he had always wanted to do.

Spreading your thighs a little further, he settled between your legs and wrapped his arms around them. “What are yo- Oh.” You moaned, feeling the light kiss on your core. It almost made you feel lightheaded and dizzy, as his tongue delved deeper. Licking up your juices, he couldn’t help but moan. Perhaps it was because of what you were, or maybe you truly were built for him, but you tasted sweet and addictive. He wanted more of you.

You raised your hips, guiding your core over his tongue and moaning out. “Mingi please don’t stop.” You moaned out, needing to feel that sweet sweet release. it was the way you moaned out his name, repeatedly like you were saying a prayer, he wasn’t going to stop until you came. He pulled you closer to his face, harshly and showed you that he truly wasn’t planning on stopping.

The coil in your stomach quickly burst, making your hips buck as you tried to pull away from him. The whines coming out of your mouth were music to his ears as he continued to lick over your core, lapping up every bit of your juices that he could and finally pulling away.

You looked at him as he sat on his heels again, lower part of his face glistening with your juices and breathing heavily. “Did that also get taught to you from your life before this?” You asked, sitting up to undo his pants. His arms hung at his sides and he simply let you do it for him. “Actually, I’ve never done that before.” Mingi admitted, making your actions halt. It felt entirely too good for it to have been his first time. You raised an eyebrow at him before pushing him back, making him lay on the ground.

“I feel like you’re lying to me.” You said, tugging his pants down and watching his cock spring up. “I don’t lie.” He said and you shook your head. You straddled him, your core right over his and you braced your hands on his chest. “All men lie.” You whispered, leaning down and placing a quick kiss on his lips. His hands moved to your ass and helped you sink down onto him. “I like to think I’m not like all men. Especially not what you’re used too” He groaned, finally being enveloped in you. You took a moment to let your body adjust to his, breathing through the stretch and feeling a warmth in your chest as his fingers laced with yours. It was a comforting action, to distract you from the discomfort however slight it was. Maybe Mingi wasn’t like all men.

You raised his hands over his head, pinning them there with your own as you started raising your hips. Allowing yourself to bounce on him, you felt so incredibly full. Filling you up completely and making your legs shake slightly but you put that to the side. It felt too good to stop.

Mingi was even more convinced than before that you were made for him with the way you squeezed him. You released his hands and placed yours back on his chest, needing more support as you continued to ride him. He was hitting that sweet spot inside of you with every little bit he raised his hips to meet your thrusts.

“You feel so good.” Mingi moaned out, hands pulling your chest flush against his. he planted his feet on the ground, fucking up into you and taking over. He was chasing his own high, needing a harsher pace and leaving you stuttering.

You watched his face, from his shut eyes to his clenched jaw. That alone was almost enough to make you orgasm again. You kissed his lips to hide your moans as you felt them getting louder, his crew still being only a small distance away. He kissed you in return as his own stomach filled with warmth. He was so close to release and just needed that little bit to send you both over the edge. Your hand found his hair once more, tugging it in response to a harsh thrust and that did it. His hips stuttered and deep groans left his lips as he planted himself deep inside of you. Orgasm coating your walls and sending you over the edge with him.

You lay there ontop of him, feeling incredibly full as he stroked your hair. “You are different from most men.” You mumbled softly, feeling a wave guilt come through you. “Most men don’t care the way you do.” Your words shrunk in volume even more, guilt and shame taking over you. Maybe it was guilt over your past actions, the men you had dragged to the bottom of the ocean, maybe it was about what you were going to do.

Mingi helped you get off of him, watching you lay down next to him. You rested your head on his chest and he stroked your hair. The few times he had been with someone this way, yes they had been special. But nothing quite like this, Mingi was overwhelmed with love.

“Y/N?” His tone sounded questioning, almost as unsure as the first night he had met you. “I think I might be in love with you.” He confessed, the feeling in his chest no longer being contained. He really couldn’t help himself, the last few days had been filled with you. Not just physically, but you were in his heart. You were speechless at his words, the guilt now eating you alive.

“Come with me.” You said, pushing yourself off of the ground. Mingi couldn’t care anymore, not if you were completely bare or if he was. No, he only knew he would follow you anywhere.

“Where are we going?” He asked, as you lead him towards the lake. “I feel sticky, I want to go for a swim.” You told him, hardly being able to look him in the eyes anymore. “Join me.” You added on, holding his hand gently, you stood before the water together.

“Hey.” Mingi said softly, bringing his hands up to cup your cheeks and make you look at him. You hadn’t even realised it, but tears were falling over your cheeks. “What’s wrong?” He asked, those beautiful brown eyes boring holes into your own. You had never felt this guilty before. “Nothing’s wrong...” Your voice trailed off and looked to his lips once more. You started walking forward, making him walk backwards towards the water.

He stepped in slowly, leaning forward to kiss you as he did so. “Mingi... I love you too.” You admitted, deciding that that was where the guilt stemmed from. Mingi felt his chest get warm once more, not being used to this at all but wondering how your life together could be from this point on.

He kissed you, harshly and you sighed into it before diving forward. You both fell into the water, lips still locked and you gripped his wrist. You needed to get rid of your guilt and now was better than any other time.

Mingi wasn’t entirely aware of how far down into the lake you had pulled him. Your hand wrapped around his wrist as your silver tail brought you both down towards the bottom quickly.

It wasn’t until it was already too late that Mingi realised that this was his dream. Down at the bottom of a lake, the moonlight shining down through the surface as Mingi felt absolutely weightless. You let him go and swam around him, watching him blink under the water as he watched you.

He started feeling himself go lightheaded, dizzy as his lungs started to burn. He was starting to realise that his dream wasn’t a dream, it was a warning and it was now too late. Feeling his vision go dark, the last thing he saw was that silver glimmer of your tail in the moonlight and your beautiful face.

Despite being the thing that killed him, he still thought you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

A/N: Again please let me know what you think! This is quite different from what I normally write. There will most definitely be typos but please,ignore those lmao

#a&mlibrary #mingi #mingi smut #ateez #ateez reaction #ateez smut

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hxseok-honee · 3 years

Text

sundress || part 23

written portion under the cut!

sundress [part 23] || say it back

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a/n : [you always end up stickin’ to me // somehow, somehow] stuck with me x the neighbourhood

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Wednesday, 01 December, 7:16pm

“How’d you get in?” Y/n’s standing in the doorway to her bedroom, peeking her head out and seeing that Yoongi’s almost at the top of the stairs. He’d texted her that he was here, but by the time she’d found her slippers, he was already inside Gryffindor Tower.

“Some first year let me in… I think he was scared shitless by the fact that I’m a Slytherin and on the brink of death.” He’s not wrong -- the closer Yoongi gets to her door, the more she can tell how out of it he is. He looks pale, dark circles sitting under his eyes like bruises. Dragging his feet, he’s holding back a yawn as he finally comes to a stop in front of her.

“You studied hard today.” It’s a simple observation, made mostly on the basis of how heavy his bag looks, filled with textbooks and notes he’d probably had to beg Jin for. Yoongi only nods, finally letting out the yawn he’s been fighting.

“Who knew you actually had to do work in order to pass your classes?” He gets like this every finals season, cramming and pulling all-nighters to make up for his absolute hatred of consistent studying. Y/n had long stopped scolding him for it, only leaving him to sleep undisturbed for the first few days of winter break once all the exams were over.

With a smile of comfort, Y/n reaches for him, taking one of his hands in both of hers and pulling him with her into her room. Before he can step fully inside, however, he’s putting his other hand on the door frame to stop himself, shaking his head. She shoots him a look of confusion.

“You’re not coming in?”

He shakes his head again, stepping back to stand safely outside in the little corridor. Y/n moves toward him, confusion written all over her face. Yoongi grins fondly at her.

“It’s better if I don’t.” Y/n knows what he’s trying to say -- that he’ll only distract her from studying and would rather leave her to do her work in peace. She appreciates how considerate he’s being, but it doesn’t mean she’s not a little disgruntled.

“But you came in last night.”

“Yeah, I did. And this morning you were scrambling to do last minute review.”

“I would have done that whether or not you’d stayed.” She’s lying, and they both know it. Yoongi’s well-aware of Y/n’s meticulously planned study schedule. He knows how flustered she gets when she doesn’t stick to it, but he’d been unable to resist her invitation to stay the night after a whole day of cramming for his own exams. He’d missed her so much yesterday -- just as much as the day before and just as much as today -- so he’d given in, thinking of nothing but being able to hold her while he slept.

But when he’d seen how crazed she’d been this morning, pacing her room frantically while she’d tried to absorb the information in her notes, he couldn’t help but feel guilty that she’d stopped studying last night to come to bed. So he’d spent the day building his mental strength, reminding himself again and again that he couldn’t say yes to her tonight. No matter how much he wants to.

“I promised myself I’d let you study.”

Y/n pouts when he says it, and it takes all of Yoongi’s self-control not to step into her room and agree to stay the night again, if only to put a smile on her face.

“But I finished all the important finals today. Yesterday was my Herbology thing, and today I had Transfiguration, and those were the hardest ones. I just have Potions tomorrow, which won’t be too bad -- and we have Charms on Friday, so we have to study for it together, anyway!” She’s searching for excuses at this point -- they’d already agreed to study for Charms tomorrow night, so there’s no reason Yoongi won’t see right through her flimsy arguments. But she can’t help wanting to keep him here.

Even though she’d admittedly been a bit stressed this morning about her exam, all day she’d only regretted not being able to stay in bed with him longer. He’d looked so pretty sleeping peacefully in her bed and equally pretty when he’d woken up confused and frazzled that she was across the room instead of next to him. If she’s honest, he’s all she’s thought about today.

Yoongi tilts his head and eyes her while she tries to come up with a reason for him to stay, his chest swelling in endearment.

“The last two days, you were totally fine and I was the mess -- what’s up with you? Did you miss me or something?”

She nods right away, not even bothering to hide it anymore.

“Yeah, I did -- so you should stay.” She feels her face warm when Yoongi snickers, clearly amused by how forward she’s being.

“You know I can’t — but I’ll stay tomorrow night when we study. How’s that?”

Y/n sighs, nodding because she knows he’s right, that she won’t finish studying tonight if he walks through that door. But then she shoots him a look, because he’d walked all the way up the stairs from the library to her room just to not stay, and Min Yoongi is fundamentally opposed to unnecessary physical exercise.

“Why’d you come all the way up here, then? Just to say hi?”

Yoongi snorts, nodding as he steps in close to her.

“To say hi… and to get this.” Leaning in, he sets his lips on hers, inhaling deeply because he’d really needed this today. When she snakes her arms up and around his neck, he smiles, only angling his head to fit his mouth against hers more comfortably.

It takes him a minute, but he finally pulls away, only going so far that his lips are still brushing against hers when he speaks to her, almost breathless.

“Yeah… that’s definitely what I came up here for…”

Y/n smiles, rolling her eyes fondly at him.

“You walked up all those stairs for a kiss?”

“It was one hell of a kiss — I feel like I can keep studying now.” Yoongi can’t help the bubble of laughter that escapes his chest when she leans her head forward on his shoulder and sighs, a quiet giggle slipping out.

“You’re an idiot.” He’s heard that line a million times, more often in the months they’d been pretending to date. But it warms him every time, because he knows she only says it when he’s making her smile against her will. When she can’t help but adore him. He’s quite fond of those three words, if he’s honest.

“I should go… you have to finish studying and get some sleep.”

Y/n lifts her head, frowning slightly. Yoongi leans in quickly, catching her lips just as she’s parting them to complain again. He kisses her once, and then again when she still looks like she has something to say. She opens her mouth one more time, but he can see that she wants to smile, so he knows she’s only pretending so she can get another kiss out of him. He gives her one anyway.

And then he steps back, prying her arms gently from around his neck and putting some distance between them — he can feel his willpower slipping away and he knows he needs to leave now before he ends up not leaving at all.

“I love you.” It comes out with the same tone he’d use to say goodbye, because he’s already backing away toward the stairs, but he’s waiting for a response before he fully turns and leaves. Y/n only leans against her door frame, watching him, so he stops. He refuses to leave until she repeats it back to him, something she’s clearly aware of, if the smirk on her face is anything to go by.

“Say it back, asshole.” He sounds so affronted that she can’t help but throw her head back and laugh, entirely amused by him. When she looks at him again, she sees that he’s feeling the exact opposite, a deadpan expression on his face while he waits.

She opens her mouth to echo the words back to him, because she’s not so terrible as to leave him hanging forever, but then she’s pausing. Because Hoseok’s words from Monday night are suddenly flashing through her mind.

Maybe you’re… actually attracted to him?

Y/n looks Yoongi over, taking in everything about him all at once — the way he’s standing, running his fingers through his hair while he shifts his weight back and forth on his legs. The way he runs two fingers over his collarbones, which he only does when he feels awkward. The way she can see the black ink of her name peeking through the white fabric of his uniform. The way his lips are just swollen enough from kissing her that she feels proud to have been the one to do that to him.

The way he’s looking at her right now, eyes full of bemusement because he’s wondering what she’s thinking about. He’s waiting patiently, because he really isn’t going to leave until she says it back to him. He never does. Just like he’s never left anything unfinished between them, always making certain, even if nothing else in their lives is going right, that at least they’re doing okay.

So, while she’s not quite sure what the difference between adoration and attraction is when it comes to Min Yoongi — while she’s not sure about Hobi’s speculation, that what she’s feeling is anything more than just the affection she’s always had for this boy in front of her — she is sure of one thing.

“Yeah… I love you, too…”

#bts au #bts smau #bts social media au #bts texts #bts hogwarts au #min yoongi #yoongi x reader #yoongi texts

220 notes · View notes

shijiujun · 3 years

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[END 2020] My Top 9 Danmei Novel Picks of the Year

As a part of my Round Up post for the year, here’s my pick of favourite danmei novels, that I’ve read! This is sort of an accompaniment to my previous danmei rec list over HERE, so there may be one or two overlaps, but I’ve read WAY MORE after that and am prepared to like give more options here

Note: There should be English translations for all via novel updates if you do a search of the English name, but I don’t think most of them are completed.

If you wanna see my full reading and queue list (it’s all in Chinese tho, for my own records), it’s here.

I’m leaving out the usual MXTX and Priest ones, because they’re already good and we all know that and there’re many carrds and posts dedicated to them.

I am also a sucker for fainting but smart men, and not too overly angsty/complicated storylines, just putting it out there first, which is why I haven’t read a lot of some of the ones on my queue list.

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1. 一剑霜寒 | A Sword of Frost by 语笑阑珊

Summary: Jing Yan Ran is the Emperor’s brother and wields military power in the novel, and it starts with an object being stolen from the palace. Jing Yan Ran has to retrieve the item secretly, and so enlists the help of Feng Yu Sect’s Sect Master, Yun Yi Feng, who heads the martial arts world’s one and only information trading post. Yun Yi Feng does not deal in business that involves any royalty, but Jing Yan Ran offers him something he cannot refuse - the Blood Red Lingzhi, a rare and mystical herb that is rumoured to be able to treat his life-threatening condition.

Yun Yi Feng was used by his shifu when he was younger to test out all kinds of poisons and cures, and since then, his body flushes dangerously hot and cold frequently, with bouts of severe coughing fits in between. Throughout the first mission where he spends time with Jing Yan Ran searching for the stolen object, he allows Jing Yan Ran to take care of him, and they fall in LURVE pretty much like 10 chapters in.

Of course, they have to uncover a plot and conspiracy against their enemies who are plotting to dethrone the Emperor, and also reveal the secrets of Yun Yi Feng’s birth.

My Thoughts: AN ABSOLUTE FAVE AND GEM, I’d say this is my favourite danmei novel ever. This is both hilarious and tears-inducing, to be honest, because for most of the novel YYF knows he doesn’t have long to live and so in the beginning he knows of his own feelings for JYR and JYR also shows him that he loves him, but he is unable to officially reciprocate because he knows his body is like weakening day by day. Halfway through the fear that he’s literally about to die as they are JUST about to find the cure is real, and damn I cried so much at that. Some highlights:

YYF falls asleep very easily in baths and everywhere actually, and pretty much within the first 10 chapters he gets used to JYR carrying him around (even naked from the bath, he’s like oh well, okay cool) and taking care of him, and JYR ALWAYS makes sure he is warm and toasty under his cape

YYF LOVESSSS RICHES, PLAYING THE ZITHER AND COOKING - He’s good at gathering the first one, but he FUCKING SUCKS AS THE LAST TWO - It’s so funny because he’s so beautiful and handsome right, and when he sits down at the zither everyone is like OH DAMN WHAT A DREAM- and then he plays, and everyone’s fantasies is shattered, he’s ABYSMAL at it, and the same goes for cooking

JYR doesn’t actually have the Blood Red Lingzhi, and throughout the first arc, he feels SO DAMN GUILTY because YYF even carved out a pendant that looks like what he thinks the herb looks like, and like carries it with him everywhere LMAO

Available: Novel Online and Manhua on Bilibili

2. 高能二维码 | High Energy QR Code by 青色羽翼

Summary: CEO Xing Ye’s brother Xing Shuo has just passed away at the age of 24, and nothing will make him believe that Xing Shuo died of natural causes despite autopsies and experts telling him that he really died simply of a heart failure. Xing Ye, who has impeccable memory, suddenly recalls the last time he saw Xing Shuo. His brother called out to him just before Xing Ye left for a business trip, and looked as if he had something to say, but ended up just wishing him a safe trip.

At that moment, there was a QR code on Xing Shuo’s phone, and the phone screen was strangely turned out towards Xing Ye, and Xing Ye, with his incredibly high IQ and memory, realizes that Xing Shuo wanted him to see the QR code. Quickly, he reproduces the QR code by pen and then scans it, and finds himself in a game world.

There he meets a narcissistic but also cute mirror which can speak, and finds out later that his name is Lu Ming Ze. Xing Ye’s mission is to clear the game missions in each round that is set by the black and white cubic game system, a system that continuously tempts its players into giving in to committing sins such as killing someone else, stealing and other things. He soon realizes that if he cannot stay on a path clear of these sins, he will never be able to triumph over the game system and return Lu Ming Ze back to his body in the real world.

At the same time, he gains new teammates and friends for life, and also finds out what role his brother played in this game.

My Thoughts: MY GOD I LOVE THIS. I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED READING THIS YESTERDAY, and honestly it’s one of my faves. I don’t like game systems very often (I’ve read three others so far, and this, and KOD are the only ones I’ve liked) but this one is *chef’s kiss*. So LMZ was born like with a really handsome face, like SUPER HANDSOME, and that’s why he’s like a harmless narcissist that cannot bear to look at ugly things LMAO, but he’s not spoilt, he makes sure that Xing Ye stays true to himself, and help him keep his head clear.

THE ONLY THING ABOUT THIS FRICKIN NOVEL IS THAT LU MING ZE STAYS A MIRROR, LIKE DIFFERENT KINDS OF MIRRORS, in the first TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY CHAPTERS. I KID YOU NOT. I FRICKIN KID YOU NOT. I swear I was sooo touched starved at the end of the novel, because they couldn’t even kiss?!! Like Xing Ye kisses the mirror, and then uses his thumbs to like hi-five mini LMZ in the mirror back, they can’t even hug. Do you know how empty my arms felt when I read this book?!! And my arms have never been filled!!!!!!

I really like this one because each game world is set up in such a brilliant way, but it’s not so unnecessarily complex that you literally don’t know what the fuck is going on. Xing Ye’s intelligence as he outmanoeuvres every single one of his enemies and convinces his would-be loyal teammates to trust him is so satisfying, world after world, victory after victory.

Humour is also absolutely ON POINT. A lot of it is centred on Xing Ye getting caught in the real world kissing his handheld mirror (LMZ) by LMZ’s parents (who cannot see him in the mirror) and LMZ’s parents going like ???!!!!!!!!

Available: Novel Online | Physical Novel is coming out on 10 Dec (freebies are, you guessed it, a mirror)

3. 妻为上 | The Wife is First by 绿野千鹤

Summary: This is set in a historical setting where men can marry other men, but it’s usually reserved for sons who were not borne by the official main first wife of the patriarch of the family, i.e. a son born by a concubine in a family may be forced to marry a man to keep him from being able to become the next family’s patriarch for example. This is because any family’s next leader needs to be able to have children with a wife who married in as a zheng shi (lawful wife), and not a ce shi (second wife) or any other concubines/mistresses etc. Most of these men who marry other men have to take them as their zheng shi and lawful spouse in a sense, and the same goes for the royal family.

The story starts with third prince Jing Shao, who was forced to marry Mu Han Zhang, a Marquis’ second son, by the Empress and Emperor, thereby officially and effectively cutting him out of the race for the throne. He’s mocked by the public as everyone knows what this means, and for the next 10 years, he neglects Mu Han Zhang, blaming him for his predicament, and deliberately showers his three other concubines with affection in front of him, but 10 years later, when Jing Shao is accused of treason, everyone leaves him except for Mu Han Zhang. They are chased to the edge of the cliff by soldiers, and Mu Han Zhang dies in his arms having taken an arrow meant for him earlier, and Jing Shao jumps off the cliff with his dead body, and promises that if there’s a next life, he will do everything Han Zhang says, and love him.

He wakes up immediately on the night of his marriage with Han Zhang, and realizes that he’s been given a second chance to make everything right. Han Zhang is definitely afraid of him, humiliated and angry when he first wakes up after how rough Jing Shao was with him earlier on their wedding night, and he has no memories of their past life. Jing Shao then sets to SHOWER HAN ZHANG with affection, love and basically everything, because he realized that this is the only person who stayed by his side until the end, and then he falls in love with Han Zhang properly this time, and also deals with every single person who maligned and schemed against him in his previous life, with Han Zhang by his side.

My Thoughts: OKAY BEFORE YALL GO INTO THE ‘WIFE’ terminology discourse and everything, in this case they do use the term ‘wife’ literally, and it’s a position, that while men frequently fall into (there are a lot of male ‘wives’ in this story), is also used to cut off like sons from inheriting the family and the fortune, and even titles. Male ‘wives’ aren’t looked down upon in this setting, in fact, Han Zhang gets a lot of leeway as one, and in his case he was also able to rise up the ranks to be an actual official later on, but the sad thing comes from sons who are most of the time forced to marry a male ‘wife’ for whatever reason, and then they are neglected as the son goes and find concubines, women he actually wants to sleep with - this is sad af yall. I don’t know, on one hand, yay for equality in marriage in this setting, but on the other hand like, damn, must you use same-sex marriage like that argh.

ANYWAY THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVES TOO?!!! I mean, especially when Jing Shao literally just goes into doting mode 200% and Han Zhang is totally like wtf why is he so nice to me is he scheming or something? And then he realizes that Jing Shao is really, really gentle towards him despite his reputation as a cruel, dark military commander, and Jing Shao always smiles at him. In any situation, especially in the beginning, when Han Zhang thought Jing Shao would not stand with him, Jing Shao literally just protects him no matter what, gives him everything, and cries, I love it.

Especially because Han Zhang is the son of a concubine and he was bullied a lot in the Mu family, and the official Lady Mu married him off to Jing Shao in hopes that he would be unhappy for the rest of his life, and I suppose that came true in the first life, but in the second, Han Zhang gets all the love, respect and support he never got before in this family with Jing Shao and that makes me WEEP.

Available: Novel Online and Manhua on Kuaikan

4. 死亡万花筒 Kaleidoscope of Death by 西子绪

OOOH I intro-ed KOD here in my previous rec list. Still one of my faves and all-time re-reads, especially under the covers in the dark hehehe.

5. 你的距离 | Your Distance by 公子优

Summary: Ting Shuang is a student at a German university, and has this handsome professor Bai Chang Yi who he swears kind of hates him. He’s just broken up with his longtime boyfriend, and then goes on this dating app that matches a profile with him based on distance. The app can also show the matched profile’s distance from him once they enter the same area, and Ting Shuang starts chatting with this Chinese guy on the app, who he finds out later, is 36 years old, 187cm in height and wears glasses.

The guy is a little aloof and cool, very mature in his replies on the app, and somehow Bai Chang Yi finds out who he is later, as Ting Shuang starts complaining to him about his professor to Bai Chang Yi. Instead of getting angry and offended, BCY is pretty much amused and finds Ting Shuang cute. A few days later Ting Shuang finally realizes who it is he’s been texting, and after getting past the initial embarrassment and fear, they start dating for real, and they really fall in love!!!!!

My Thoughts: This is sweet and also hilarious af, if you need to like satisfy your sweet tooth, this is definitely one for you. It’s really funny because Bai Chang Yi runs in the same circles as Ting Shuang’s dad, who he’s estranged from because the dad doesn’t want to recognize a son who is gay, and then BCY convinces him later in the funniest of ways, and there’s a small subplot at the end in which Ting Shuang is pretty cool, and yep, short and sweet! BCY in the manhua is handsome af too guys ;-;

Available: Novel Online, Audio Drama on Maoer FM and Manhua on Bilibili,

6. 神木挠不尽 The White Cat’s Divine Scratching Post by 绿野千鹤

Summary: Mo Tian Liao, a weapons forger and master who ruled the Demon Tribe, was hunted down and killed by other righteous sects in the region when he managed to forge an incredibly destructive weapon that could end the world. Before he died, he placed the only thing he loved, a white cat, into a hole in the tree behind him to protect it. The only thing he was grateful for was that he did not create a blood pact with the cat, Xiao Mao, because if he had done so, when he died, Xiao Mao would have died along with him as well.

Right before he dies, unbeknownst to him, Xiao Mao who is no simple demonic cat, wraps part of his consciousness around Mo Tian Liao, and MTL’s spirit ends up floating about for 300 years, until he finds a suitable time to return with a body made out of a special tree and its wood. The first thing he does, of course, is to find his white cat, but he’s poor, and the body he has isn’t powerful, so he joins Wo Yun Sect, the only sect that did not hunt him down that day hundreds of years ago.

There, he is chosen by Qing Tong shizun to be his direct disciple, much to the astonishment of other shizuns in the sect, and Qing Tong’s shixiongs. MTL has never seen a person as beautiful and gorgeous as his shizun, and if only he could find that cat (who’s actually his shizun, who recognizes him and protects him, even if MTL doesn’t actually need much protection).

My Thoughts: This was hilarious as well, and so romantic?!!! Qing Tong/Xiao Mao waited for MTL to come back, and the moment he came back, Qing Tong was there ready to grab him, and then before he went to sleep that night, Qing Tong thought to himself, “I’ve gotten my person back, I can sleep well now” and AHHHHH at this point they weren’t even like a couple yet? MTL ‘kidnapped’ Qing Tong when he was a young demon cat by accident because he likes pretty things (like his shizun lmao) and Qing Tong is attached to him because MTL never forced a blood pact on him, and gave him everything he wanted as a younger cat before MTL died. Gosh, a mirror in #2 and then a cat now with this one. XD

Available: Novel Online

7. 破云 | Breaking the Clouds by 淮上

Summary: Three years ago, Captain Jiang Ting and his team of the Narcotics division perished in an explosion due to a wrong call of his, and he returns three years later under a new identity ready to deal with the people who set him and his team up. He’s caught in what seems to be a simple murder case almost immediately and meets Yan Xie, who’s Vice Captain and in charge of this case. Yan Xie realizes who Jiang Ting is shortly after, and begins to unravel the huge mystery surrounding the events of three years ago, and falls in love with Jiang Ting along the way as well.

My Thoughts: Okay out of the FOUR crime/detective/thriller danmei novels I’ve read, the poyun and tunhai (below) series is the one that MIRRORS actual narcotics division and undercovers the best. It has the complexity and depth of the drugs/narcotics world, and both this one and its sequel focuses a lot on the position of an undercover and mole. I liked this one a lot because there are SOOOO many twists especially in the last arc, like you honestly won’t see any of them coming until it hits you? And Yan Xie is such a confident, rich-ass narcissist, and he keeps asking Jiang Ting if he can “just touch” him ONCE lmao, he’s thick-skinned af, but that’s why he and Jiang Ting are so compatible ;-;.

Available: Novel Online, Novel Print, Audio Drama and Manhua on Bilibili

8. 吞海 | Swallowing the Sea by 淮上

Summary: Sequel to Po Yun. Yu Wu is a young-looking new detective under Captain Bu Chong Hua’s narcotics team. Bu Chong Hua is Yan Xie’s cousin by actual relation, but brother in relationship because BCH’s parents died early and Yan Xie’s parents have been taking care of him mostly. He cannot stand Yu Wu, who seems to want to coast through at work and keep to a 9-5 work schedule.

It’s only after an altercation and Yu Wu dumping his nonchalant facade to snarl at BCH that he realizes that YW is actually more interesting and mysterious than he thought, and he begins to try to get close to him, understand him. It turns out that Yu Wu is a famous undercover who nearly died a year ago during an operation, and due to various reasons, he was assigned to BCH’s team by higher ups so he can peacefully live the rest of his life out there. However, his past catches up with him quickly, and his enemies turning up forces him to rely on BCH.

With BCH, Yu Wu’s resentment of having to be an undercover in the past and being so easily discarded by his team’s leaders, and of him being forced to be in the shadows while others can announce their achievements to the world, is slowly erased, because BCH sees him, knows him, and understands him more than anyone else.

My Thoughts: I actually liked this one better than the first one - Yu Wu is such a pouty, angry little thing?! And for good reason (there’s a bit of cannibalism in the book, not by choice when he was younger and in a poor village in Cambodia, where some militants forced survivors in the village to eat the meat of boiled corpses of other villagers, so YW is a vegetarian, like if he eats meat he gets really sick) and the twists here are even more amazing?! BCH really, really, devotes himself to YW the moment he realizes how much he likes him, doing a 180 degree turn. Instead of Yan Xie’s flamboyance, BCH is much steadier, grouchy, like an old uncle, but also looks at things even more clearly than Yan Xie does sometimes. Yu Wu is understandably bitter about what he had to go through, and BCH is the ONLY person who can calm him down, whom he listens to, which I LOVE. Some highlights:

Yu Wu grew up in a poor village and thus loves money, and he fights in underground betting rings to earn more money - The stash of hidden money he collects I think is half for his escape money, but if he happens to never need it, his dream is to donate the money to his village so they can open up a school there - ANYWAY because Yan Xie’s parents, and technically BCH’s ‘parents’ are soooooo rich right, Yan Xie’s mom shows her approval to her son-in-laws (Jiang Ting first, then Yu Wu), by giving them winter pants. It’s kind of like inside warmers, and usually meant for older ladies to wear LOLOL so Yu Wu was like staring at the pants when he finally got them and looked soooo reluctant until Jiang Ting told him it costs $6,000 AND HE WAS LIKE :333333 okie

He acts a lot like a kid?!! He likes eating like some snack but it’s really unhealthy for him, and BCH the mother hen keeps catching him in weird places like the toilet, where he’s hiding from BCH so he can eat his fave snack?! And the whole police station knows not to give YW what he wants in terms of snacks and smokes because once BCH finds out, he makes life very difficult for them HAHAHAHA

9. 穿成反派如何活命 | How to Survive as A Villain by 伊依以翼

Summary: Rich and handsome CEO Xiao Yu An finds out he has a terminal illness (cancer), and dies while he’s reading this online novel, where a king mistreats the crown prince from a neighbouring state which sent him over as hostage after losing a war, and ends up being killed by the crown prince years later (SVSSS much?!). He wakes up AS THE KING, and afraid of dying, he immediately goes about befriending the prince, Yan He Qing. Yan He Qing falls in love with Xiao Yu An while being his friend/hostage/bodyguard, and Xiao Yu An tries to avoid all the deaths he read in the book, while making sure Yan He Qing manages to find his three/four wives, including Xiao Yu An’s sister.

Of course, because Xiao Yu An showed him warmth and kindness, Yan He Qing ends up falling for him instead, and Xiao Yu An is an absolute oblivious idiot because he REALLY doesn’t realize until much later. Yan He Qing ends up declaring war on Xiao Yu An’s kingdom because he is duty bound to do so, but doesn’t hurt Xiao Yu An, wanting to keep him by his side, but YHQ’s scheming uncle drives a wedge between them, and XYA leaves, breaking YHQ’s heart.

They meet again a few years later, where XYA is training to be a physician in a small village and chances upon a severely injured YHQ. There, he realizes that it was all a misunderstanding, and that YHQ actually LIKES, LIKES him, but before they can enjoy this short period of happiness, disaster strikes again.

My Thoughts: THIS WAS really enjoyable, and with the manhua visuals, it is *chef’s kiss*. I think this transmigration version actually delved into the part where XYA is unable to change everything, and if he saves one person, someone else is destined to die, and that moral dilemma devastates him a lot. In this novel he actually transmigrates TWICE, once into the king’s body, and the second time into a neighbouring state’s prince/king’s body, who looks exactly like his modern self after. YHQ is real sweet to him istg, and I like that the epilogues are SUPER EXTENSIVE, including an arc where YHQ and XYA transmigrate back to the real world and everyone who died is alive and close to them, and gets their happy ending ;-;

Available: Novel Online and Manhua on Bilibili

#danmei rec list #stebeee recs #a sword of frost #your distance #swallowing the sea #breaking the clouds #kaleidoscope of death #High Energy QR Code #How to Survive as A Villain #The White Cat’s Divine Scratching Post

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fantasywritings · 3 years

Text

Change Of Heart - Lee Jaeyoon short series pt 1 . pt 2 request :

best friends but everyone thinks you’re dating

heavy kissing/heavy makeout, first time

Attentively listening to the sound coming from the clock, waiting for the clock to finally hit 8pm so you can call it a day and finally end your shift.

Letting out a sigh, as you moved on to the next table, scrubbing the dirt off the tables in disgust. As you were about to damp your cloth, your boss suddenly calls your name.

“You may leave now, it’s okay” she said, making you worry that she’s not pleased with your cleaning. This was your least favourite thing about working in a restaurant. But there were still pros of course, the restaurant was located right next to your best friend’s house. every now and then you’d pack some treats from the restaurant and bring it over to him after a tough day at work, it was always nice to unwind with you friend.

Your train of thoughts were was as she took the damped cloth from your hand.

“Your boyfriend is here, you can go with him” she smiled at you and motioned you to go.

B-Boyfriend? You don’t have a boyfriend.

Turning around in confusion, your eyes met a tall smiley Jaeyoon in the door frame. Jaeyoon was your best friend, but whenever he would drop by, your boss and co worker would refer to him as your boyfriend, despite you explaining your relationship several times.

“Yes Ma’am” you turned around to face your boss, as you bowed down slightly, handing your apron and taking your belongings.

“She did it again” you said after closing the glass door behind you

“Did what?” He looked at you in amusement

“The boyfriend thing” you said as you chucked, making him laugh too.

You calling him your boyfriend, even if it was just a joke, sounded exciting out of a sudden, it was something he couldn’t explain.

“Anyways, what brings you here?” You asked in confusion, today was not planned beforehand, it wasn’t unusual for him to drop by, but usually he would let you know in advance.

“I just wanted to know how it went with that guy the other day, you weren’t replying to my texts” he said, you were not sure if it’s due to him being the gossip lover that he is, or due to the fact that he knew every single detail about you and your life.

“It was awful.. are we going to your place? I’ll tell you when I get there”

“Awful??” He repeated after you, being the over dramatic man he is.

As you arrived to his house you announced you were taking a shower and asked to borrow his clothes, unplanned sleepovers where you just spend the night talking and snacking was more than just common between you two. You were already very comfortable with each other, therefore you did not feel strange sharing a bed together.

As the water poured on your body you couldn’t help but think, Jaeyoon is the only man you have felt this comfortable with, people kept mistaking you for a couple, but maybe it’s a wake up call for you? Maybe the world is giving you a sign..?

“No no..” you shook your head

You shouldn’t be thinking about things like that, you cherished this friendship and shouldn’t do anything to cross the line.

With these thoughts, you made your way outside, entering Jaeyoon’s room with nothing but a towel on.

“Did you find anything?” You asked, as in, did he find anything for you to wear

Jaeyoon was preoccupied by his phone, not really paying attention to what you said,

“what did you say?” He asked while raising his eyes up from his phone to meet your own. Suddenly a gasp escaped his lips at the sight of you with a towel only

“Oh my god” he covered his eyes almost immediately.

You did not expect to get this kind of reaction from Jaeyoon, considering it’s not the first time he saw you in a towel, or even just in underwear.

You weren’t sure why but his reaction made you flustered. You thought something was wrong with your head, but in fact, his heart was racing, and his mind was overthinking every possible situation, driving full gas on neutral.

“Yeah sorry” he got up to find something to wear. As he looked through the drawers he noticed your eyes piercing a hole in his body, which made a simple task like finding clothes a difficult one.

“Is this okay?” He said as gave you a long t shirt and briefs to use as pants, mostly because none of you was fond of the idea of you wearing your dirty underwear.

Somehow the idea of wearing his briefs turned you on. Your brain was going places.

“Yes, it should be fine” you hummed. unknowingly, instead of looking at the clothes to pick them up, you gazed at his lips.

Hearts racing, your bodies were inches apart, for a quick moment, you forgot about everything, about your friendship, about this world, about this shitty date you had yesterday. You pressed your lips to his, and the world stopped. His bottom lip between your two lips, dancing in slow motion, although he engaged in the kiss, something felt wrong.

Instead of feeling euphoric, you felt apologetic.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done this” you pulled away from his body and lowered your gaze.

“It’s alright, things happen, don’t worry about it” he said as you took the clothes he prepare and went to change elsewhere.

After changing into something comfortable and trying to silence your thoughts you finally sat down beside him in bed.

“So what’s up with that guy?” Jaeyoon asked as he wrapped an arm around you, skinship with Jaeyoon was not an unfamiliar thing, but this time it caught you off guard.

“hm..? what guy?” you asked in confusion, as Jaeyoon was the only guy to come to your mind in this very moment.

“The one you went on a date with yesterday, silly goose” He let out a bright smile. His smile was captivating, he’s a smiley person, always brightens the mood, but this time it made your heart flutter as well.

“Right, nothing interesting” you tried to brush it off, this was the last thing on your mind right now.

“Hey Jaeyoon? Do you think you can drive me home?” You said, causing his smile to fade almost immediately

“Home? Suddenly? You’re not staying over?” He asked out of concern

“Actually, I’ll just sleep now, if that’s okay” you changed your mind quickly, feeling guilty for causing his smile to fade.

Moments later the lights were out, the room was silent, but Jaeyoon’s heart wasn’t, neither was yours.

Tossing and turning, you couldn’t find your peace. Why did it feel so strange to sleep next to Jaeyoon’s figure? He’s not even doing anything, yet his presence kept you up at night.

And Jaeyoon, his heart was going to bust out of his chest; seeing you next to him made him want to pull you into a tight hug,

But not now. His desires must be hidden in order to protect this friendship.

Or so he thought.

#sf9 imagine #sf9 smut #sf9 imagines #sf9 reactions #sf9 scenarios #sf9 headcanons #kpop scenarios #sf9 writing #jaeyoon x reader #jaeyoon scenario

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xtodorcki · 3 years

Text

“Lies & Affairs,” Pt 3 Levi x Reader

Since it’s been requested so many timesssss

Summary: After Levi found out Petra (his gf) cheated on him, he sleeps with you and you overthinking he’ll run back to Petra— you go to support him while he confronts her.

Warnings: confrontation that turns into smut oop

PART ONE

PART TWO

After the shower, Levi had decided to go back to his own place considering he had no change of clothes and Petra was sitting in there like she owned the place and that had made him a little more pissed off than usual.

He asked you to tag along and at first you didn’t want to, who would want to go confront Levi’s girlfriend after just sleeping with him. But he had convinced you that he needed some support and you gave in.

The way your hands started to get shaky as you both walked into his place, looking around at the clean area and Levi had laughed at the fact that the clothing that was scattered before was now gone like nothing ever happened.

“Levi is that you?” Petra had walked out of the kitchen, stopping when she saw Levi then you standing behind him.

“What happened? You didn’t come home, I was worried.” She put on the sweet little act and that had made him tense up a bit, another laugh leaving his lips.

“We need to sit down and talk first.” He gestures towards the kitchen table, leading you to it and you sat beside him.

You did not want to be here right now, you felt completely awkward at the fact you were a third wheel.. kinda like a side chick while he yells at his girlfriend for cheating. It wasn’t the most romantic situation.

“About what?” She spoke, her eyes had moved to look at you and she was genuinely confused as to why you were even here.

“Kinda over playing dumb, Petra. Who did you sleep with last night?” He abruptly said, making your eyes go wide and you tried to look at anything other than them two.

“Wait.. what?”

“I said I’m over playing dumb, who the fuck was in my bed with you last night?” He asked again, leaning towards the table as he rested his arms on it, the look of amusement on his face.

“Nobody? I was here alone.”

“Yeah, right and I wasn’t deep in Y/N’s guts just an hour ago either huh?”

The way your eyes almost popped out of their sockets, glaring over at Levi and Petra had glared at you. Suddenly the tension grew thicker and you were very close to getting up and walking out of here. You didn’t sign up for this mess.

“I came here last night, clothes everywhere and noises coming from the room. You’re telling me that was just you?” He laughed at the stupid excuse, her eyes looking at him and suddenly the realization had hit her.

“Oh.” She simply said, her eyes now full of sadness but he didn’t feel sorry for her- he felt nothing.

“I want you and your shit out of here, unless you want to be here while I rail her a third time.” He gestured to you beside him and you slapped his arm.

“Levi,” You warned but he was having fun with this, fun humiliating her and watching her put on this guilty act as if she regretted what she did.

“I’m sorry- just please, hear me out.”

“I’m sick of hearing you out, our relationship has been dead for months and now I want you gone, Petra. It’s over, done, never happening again. Get the fuck out of here with the bullshit apologies and tears and go to that guys doorstep you were just fucking in my bed!” His blood boiled at the sight of her tears, she wasn’t sorry, she didn’t feel bad while she was laid up with someone else and he wasn’t sorry for being harsh to her or sleeping with you.

Petra had finally shut her mouth, her eyes looking over at you and you tried not to meet her gaze as she gave you a nasty look, like she was blaming you for everything that is happening right now.

“Well, I’ll get my things.”

“Good, you have twenty minutes to get it and leave.”

Levi crossed his arms over his chest, watching her rise from the table and leave the room to go in the bedroom they once shared together but he just felt sick. He didn’t even want to sleep in that bed again, it was sickening to even think that another man had slept in his spot.

His eyes moved to yours, the look of embarrassment on your face and he sighed as he reached over to caress your cheek.

“Thank you for being here.”

“Yeah, thanks for putting our sex on blast.” You mumbled, making him laugh again and he shook his head while rubbing your cheek.

“Sorry, slipped out.” He said teasingly but you knew he brought it up on purpose, he wasn’t phased by it.

As twenty minutes went by in a heartbeat, Levi had called out for Petra to leave his place. He didn’t care if she wasn’t finished packing, he wanted her gone and she continued to cry as she walked towards the door.

“Levi,” He raised his hand to cut her off, another sarcastic laugh coming out of his mouth.

“Just please leave, I’m not in love with you and I don’t want you.” He said coldly, making her heart break into pieces but she understood, she betrayed him.

She finally walked out of the house while dragging her things. Levi shut the door, his eyes moving to yours as you stood up from the table and cleared your throat at the awkward tension.

He cupped your cheeks, instantly peppering soft kisses on your lips and around your face which made your nose scrunch your as you tried to pull away.

“Now that she’s gone,” He mumbled, his lips landing on top of yours and your face started to heat up.

“We can continue where we left off in the shower.”

“Levi, you’re so humiliating.” You laughed against his mouth, making him pull back and give you a cute genuine smile.

“So? You seem to like it.” He brushed your hair back, leaning down to pick you up with ease and force your legs to wrap around his torso.

You rolled your eyes, leaning down to press your lips back on his and you couldn’t explain why you were like this around Levi. The fact not even five minutes ago his ex lover had left his house in tears and now you were here kissing him endlessly.

He had sat you down on the edge of the kitchen table, his lips dancing with yours and in no time his tongue was inside of your mouth before he had pulled back to fully look at you again.

His fingers combing through your hair, giving you a small smile and he had tangled his fingers in your hair, pulling your face closer to pepper a few kisses around your face.

“I hope you know that you’re mine now.” He had mumbled quietly, making your eyes move down to his while hooking your arms loosely around his neck.

“Oh yeah? Since when.”

“Since today.”

“Are you trying to ask me out in a special Levi way?”

“Yes,” He said almost breathless, his eyes sparkled and stared deep into yours like he was trying to read your thoughts.

The longer you stayed quiet, the more he started to panic. Did he say something wrong? Were you going to say no?

You laughed as his face got all flustered, making his eyebrows furrow and give you a playful dirty look, you were teasing him.

“Is that a yes then?” He asked again, leaning forward between your legs as you sat there watching him lick his lips, waiting for your answer.

“Yes, Levi.” You mumbled, bringing your small hand up to his face and cupped one of his cheeks.

Your heart had swelled up, full of love and happiness and the way he smiled at you in a way he’s never done before- it made you believe he felt the exact same way.

Soon his lips were back on yours, this time he was a bit more rough with it but it still had a lot of passion behind it, making your body almost rock backwards onto the table but you held onto his body to keep you up.

Levi wasted no time to pepper kisses down your neck, not bothering to leave anymore love bites considering you had enough from yesterday underneath your shirt. He smirked to himself just by the thought of it as he placed a hand on your chest and pushed you down on the table.

“This one is about you, baby.” He said in a low tone, his hands grabbing onto your pants and yanked them down your legs in an instant.

Your stomach fluttered with butterflies as he stared down at your half naked body with admiration, it made your cheeks heat up the more he was staring down at you.

The soft touches of his hands had tickled your skin as he trailed them down to your thighs, spreading them apart in front of him and he chewed down on his lower lip, trying to hold himself back from completely devouring you instantly.

His fingertips hooked underneath the waistband of your underwear, teasingly dragging it down your legs and tossed it behind him in one swift movemnt, his eyes meeting your gaze and the lustful look he had given you made your core throb.

Just by sleeping with him twice, he already knew what turned you on in seconds and what edged you on more. It wasn’t hard for him to find your soft spots or pleasure you continuously, it was like he was an expert on your body already.

As your eyes stayed on him, he dipped his head down and placed gentle kisses on your inner thighs, even playfully biting down on your skin hard enough to leave a mark but also send a breathless gasp to leave your lips.

Levi laughed to himself, bringing his two fingers up and ran them through your slick folds, the coldness of his fingers made you shiver slightly and gave you the urge to close your legs but he kept them spread with his other hand, his eyes burning into you as he watched your pleasured facial expressions.

He finally took it upon him to latch his mouth where you needed him most, not hesitating to roam his tongue around all while his two fingers had teased at your entrance, making you throw your head back on the table and grabbed a hold of his hair.

His tongue had worked on your clit, flicking at it and wrapping his mouth around it to softly suck on the bundle of nerves, making you almost squirm uncontrollably underneath him.

The way you gripped his hair tightly had made him continue his fast movements, thrusting his fingers inside of you and pumping them in and out at a even pace.

“Levi,” His name had slipped out of your mouth in a long moan, your legs clinging around his head while your eyes fluttered shut.

He had pulled his mouth back, feeling the salvia mixed with your juices dripping down his chin as he licked his lips. He continued thrusting his fingers, using his other hard to rub circular motions on your clit.

“Thats right, say my name.” He praised you, making your heart pound in your chest as your breathing got heavy.

His fingers twisted and curved up against your halls, instantly hitting your spot that sent a much louder noise to fall from your lips which fed on his ego, the confidence rising as he watched how much pleasure you were in with just his fingers.

He couldn’t help himself, the way his mouth drooled at the sight of you like this in front of him- he might just cum inside his pants with you like this. It made him crazy.

He latched his mouth back on your dripping core, running his tongue around the hole his fingers were plunging in, the taste of you had made him weak which only made him quicken his pace, wanting your cum on his tongue.

The continuous moans that had slipped out, your legs almost shaking as you felt the familiar knock in your stomach, making you clench around his fingers. He knew just by that you were close, licking up to your clit and spent his time sucking and nibbling down on it gently while his fingers did most of the work.

“I’m gonna-“ You couldn’t even finish your sentence before the pleasure had washed over you, making your eyes squeeze shut and your back arching off the table.

He moved his fingers just to replace them with his tongue, tasting every drop of you and collecting it as he savored the taste and hummed against you which made you shudder under him.

He pulled back, wiping his mouth with his thumb and licking the remaining cum off that as well before he leaned over you, reaching his fingers towards your mouth and you parted your lips. Levi had put his two fingers in your mouth, feeling your tongue swirl around them as you tasted yourself.

“My good girl.” He mumbled, removing his fingers and placed a gentle kiss on your lips.

Idk about this part but ???? hope it’s okay.

Pls if there’s spelling errors, I’m so sorry I don’t feel like reading it over dhdhdhd

• Main Masterlist •

• AOT Masterlist •

#levi ackerman fanfic #levi ackerman imagine #levi ackerman imagines #levi ackerman headcanons #levi imagines #levi fanfic #levi x reader #levi headcanons #levi smut #aot imagines #aot headcanons

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spiked-tea-writing · 3 years

Text

and they were roommates?!

SapnapxFem!Reader

Summary: Imagine being in love with your roommate, couldn't be you.

Pronouns: She/her

Warning: Swearing

Word Count: 2.3k

A/n: I don’t watch or know anything, I just like these people and I had a concept. Also, he and Dream aren’t roommates in this for the sake of I can’t figure that out. Also also, my timeline is probably fucked but who cares

The dynamic in the apartment was...interesting to say the least

In the two years of living together, it had shifted a lot

In the beginning, you and Sapnap had been... less than cordial to each other

Both eighteen, fresh out of high school, off to college thinking that you knew everything.

There was lots of fighting, to say the least.

All of the “No it’s your turn to vacuum”, and “I swear to god Sapnap I will punt you halfway across the world if you eat my pineapple again”

The only reason you didn’t slit each other’s throats was that if the other person was dead, who would pay rent?

It was the summer before college started at the time, and you were working long hours minimum wage so coming]’/ home to an annoying prick caused a crap ton of conflict

After a few months of being little bitches to each other, y’all got piss drunk in the apartment and it all just sorta fell apart

Got that good drunk therapy, spilling your deepest secrets

(y’all were underage but shhh)

So by the time college started, the two of you had become actual friends and started enjoying each others company

A few months into the friendship, you encouraged him to post the video of “Minecraft, but it’s Raining Cats and Dogs” on a whim

Lmao little did you know what you had created (we’ll get to that later)

You mocked his train of thought constantly, laughing at the timing of it all.

“Ahhh yes, I am Sapnap, the genius who thought it’d be great to become a YouTuber while in my first year of college.”

He’d always just laugh and roll his eyes, playfully shoving you while stealing your chips.

The next few months were a haze of studying, work, and him.

It was truly a friendship of convenience since you guys were so busy, him starting his youtube career, and you working restaurants, then school on top of that, it was just easy to find friendship in your roommate.

Of course, he had his close friends which he spoke to over the internet, and you had your friends from back home, but as for college, it really was only him.

You guys had a fun time just hanging around the apartment, and it became so easy to be friends with him

And it WAS truly platonic (we’ll get back to that as well)

The best thing he brought to the friendship was his animals

You got on fabulously with Cash and the cats

They were all so cuddly and honestly loved you more than him lmao

You guys were just trying to get degrees and not be too stupid, was that too much to ask???

Well to a certain 2020, it was

The beginning of that year was great.

He was sorta realizing that he liked putting himself on social media, but on top of that, it seemed like a great start to a year.

February brought him to twitch, which you loved

You found it hilarious how he would just sorta play games and have people watch him live.

But you were incredibly supportive, as a friend, of course

He really liked it so, you tried to ignore the shouting at three am, and the loud anthems at night

Sure you’d give him hell in the morning, but why kill his fun?

March started great, as it was his birthday.

You got him a glittery lighter as a gag, but it was the perfect gift for a broke-ass college student

Then a certain pandemic came a-knockin’ on y’all’s door

It was a hard hit on both of you.

An executive decision was made that you two would stay put, but being away from your families was incredibly tough.

That spring was the birth of The SMP.

It brought him so much joy, which in turn made you happier.

The rest of the school year was a blur of zooms and test

Nick nearly killed you on multiple occasions when you made fun of the fact that he was learning computer science over the computer or made him help you figure out what the fuck zoom was since it was tangentially related to his major

“SAP HELP ME YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS ITS YOUR FUCKING MAJOR!!!”

“NO, IT’S- AHHHHHHHHH”

Yall got more than a handful of noise complaints shhhh

That summer was fill was spent trying to fill the time in weird ways

Note to self, he can’t cook (which you learned the hard way)

Yall spent so much time trying to cook and bake, then sweating off the calories working out with The Fitness Marshall lmao

As sucky as the situation was, that summer was so incredibly fun for the both of you, and truthfully the only arguments were about what music to blast

“Y/n I swear if I listen to Cosmicandy one more time I will drown you.”

“Well if I hear American Idiot one more time someone’s knee caps are getting harvested.”

(that argument was settled with Elton John.)

When school started up again that fall, something shifted

After a year of actual friendship, you guys were no longer just friends, and the tension was so thick it could be cut with a knife

You had watched every single one of his streams since day one, but within 2 seconds of his Love or Host, you felt the need to hurl for some peculiar reason

It was bizarre because there was no way you could ever like him, of course not.

Within the apartment, you guys suddenly got a lot more touchy, but only because it was getting cold with winter and all that jazz.

It wasn’t because yall were secretly in love, what is this, a romcom?

The number of times you guys woke up on the couch, definitely not cuddling was too many to count

You started sitting in his room while he streamed, definitely not watching him with heart eyes because of how excited he got

He always had a pot of coffee full and a 6-pack of monster in the fridge since he knew you ran on spite and caffeine, and definitely not so that he could spend more time with you in the early hours of the morning.

The laundry started getting all mixed around, resulting in just sharing any sweats, hoodies, or socks.

The same thing went for food.

No longer was anything labeled with a name, if it was in the fridge, it was fair game (unless there was a post-it because come on, yall weren’t monsters)

But no, y’all were just roommates, not dating, lets make that clear.

Feelings? We don’t know her.

This entire time, his friends have had to hear about you rip.

But they got front row seats to your relationship development

“OMG my roommate is the worst she ate all of the frozen strawberries”

“Y/n kidnapped Storm all day while she studied and I thought I lost the fucking cat asjvdk”

“I had to run down and talk to the landlord because we dropped a pot of pasta sauce all over the carpet and couldn’t get the damn stain out.”

“She is so nice in preparation for a family dinner zoom, she ran out to the local Filipino food place and pick stuff up.”

“Sorry I’m late I overslept and didn’t want to wake up Y/n.”

They weren’t stupid, and could clearly see how whipped he was.

Dream and Geroge teased him about it constantly.

“Woah, calm down Sap, you should probably tell her you love her before you propose.”

“Yeah Dream’s right, it’s kinda weird that you’re living together before ever dating.”

He always flushed and denied it with a shake of his head.

He wasn’t into you, are they crazy?

Quackity and Karl messed with him in more unorthodox ways

There are a solid number of clips where they are fake crying over how he’s cheating on them, and even more tweets to match

It only got worse when you met them accidentally.

He was chatting post-stream on a video channel with George, Dream, Karl, and Quackity, and just his luck, you came into his room.

Like of all the times you could walk in, it was the time he was with his five closest friends but I digress

“Yo I got some extra tips yesterday so I picked up some extra Red Bull if you want to do one of your weird all-nighter streams.”

“Y/n I’m on channel.”

“Oh shit sorry my b. Catch.”

All the guys heard was a thud and a groan from Sapnap as the six-pack hit him in the chest.

Dream was the one to recognize your name.

“WAIT IS THAT Y/N I WANT TO MEET THEM!”

You could hear Dream’s voice through his headphones

“Sap… who is that?”

“No one. I’ll be out in a sec to help with dinner.”

You could hear a British voice come through.

“Oh so we are no one now, huh.”

Another voice piped through.

“Common... ¿Qué intentas ocultar?”

You cut in.

“Your headset it shit my guy. I can hear everything. I’m down to talk to them.”

He let out a groan.

“Fine. But you’re gonna have to do the dishes tonight.”

“Deal. Now move.”

“What? No.”

“Fine bitch.”

You collapsed onto his lap, plucking the headphones off of him.

“Hello, Sapnap’s friends. I am Y/n. A pleasure to meet y’all. Can you hear me?”

You heard a series of laughs through the headset, and a voice came through.

“Yes, we can see you too. I’m Karl, it’s so nice to finally meet his girlfriend.”

A blush rose on both of your faces, and another voice came through.

“Yeah, we’ve heard lots about you. Plus we can’t see your face in that picture Sap sent us. I’m Quackity”

That remark stopped your embarrassment in its tracks.

“What the fuck? How do you guys know me? I’m not even his girlfriend? And what picture?”

Sapnap grabbed your arm to calm you down as another voice cut in, but his one you recognized as his friend Dream.

“Hey, it’s okay. He just talks about you a bit, and the picture I believe was of you holding like three cats with like a red bull can on your head.”

“Jesus fucking christ why do they have that photo??”

He looked guilty but chuckled.

“Because that photo is a damn masterpiece.”

Karl’s voice came back in with a giggled.

“Soooo, Y/n we’d love to hear about you. Specifically anything funny or embarrassing that you have learned by living with him.”

Sapnap let out a groan from behind you as you went off.

“WELL lemme tell y’all, he has no cooking knowledge, well I mean, now he does, but one time, about a year ago, I had I been keeping a pot of water boiling for about an hour, soft boiling eggs, cooing noodles, blanching bok choy, etc. but this fucking genius is like ‘oH tHe HaNdLe Is StIcKiNg OuT. LeMmE mOvE iT wItH mY bArE hAnD.’ Needless to say, he burnt the crap outta his hand and kept the bag of frozen blueberries on it for the entire night. It took me like a solid five seconds to actually help him because I was laughing.”

By the time you had finished that story, you had seen Nick roll his eyes like 5 five times while the rest of the guys were wheezing.

“Yeah, well remember the time you were trying to imitate Rapunzel after we had watched it over Zoom with my sister, and you swung the edge of the frying pan into our head and got a nasty bump on it? At least I moved quick enough to put some ice on it.”

“Ice? It was the damn leftover Slushy that I had been freezing.”

“True, but you got to drink it after, so it was a win-win situation.”

“Sap, I had a bump the size of a golfball coming off of my temple. There was no winning.”

“Fine, you’re just making me sound like such a shit roommate.”

“No that’s not true, you do all of the talking to the landlord, and you at least tried to muffle the noise when you stream.”

“I guess that’s true, but you do like 80% of the cleaning.”

“Yeah but only because you’re working. Plus in the past 6 months, you’ve made coffee every morning, AND made sure I was taking my meds.”

“Those things aren’t that hard and I do it to make sure you don’t die because I lo- care about you.”

“What?”

You heard Dream’s wheeze laugh and remembered that you guys were still on call.

“Smooth.”

You both went red, and Sap moved his arm around you to leave the channel.

The next few moments were complete torture, the two of you just sitting in silence.

You were wondering if he meant what he was about to say and he was scared that you had heard it.

He was the one to break the silence. (mind you you’re still sitting on his lap lmao)

“I’m sorry about that.”

You weren’t sure how to respond. Should you ask him if he meant it? Because that wouldn’t be that bad. Or just pretend it never happened. Nah that’d be hella awkward. Or-

“I love you too.”

“You what?”

Wow, okay your brain is being a little bitch rn, but fuck it. Balls to the walls baby.

“I love you, and I have for a while now. I just want you to know.”

You finally looked him in the eye, and he was grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

“Thank god. I love you, and nearly fucking told you for the first time in front of my friends accidentally. Damn, I’m smooth.”

You laughed and he smiled wider.

“Can I kiss you?”

After a quick nod he swooped in and holy hell his lips felt great. His arm wound around your waist and your hands made their way to his jaw as he pulled you closer to him.

The only thing playing in your mind was “and they were roommates”

#sapnap x reader #sapnap #sapnapxreader #sapnap fluff #sapnap fanfic #sapnap fanfiction #sapnap x you #sapnap x y/n

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alj4890 · 3 years

Note

I have an ask? What if Liam got Riley pregnant when they first met in New York? Would he still have to go through the social season? Would she have to raise a baby on her own would Liam find a way to help?

Ooooohhhh. Interesting. That would be quite the conundrum for them, wouldn't it? Especially since the social season starts the very next day after he visited her bar. Hmmm. Let's see what I can do with that time frame. I'm going on the assumption that the social season lasts at least three months with all the parties and traveling they do. Which will help out with the pregnancy part 😉 I think she would still go and take part in the social season since she wouldn’t know she was pregnant yet, but it would definitely alter how things end in book 1.

Masterlist

@gkittylove99 @darley1101 @krsnlove @kingliam2019 @texaskitten30 @yourmajesty09 @mom2000aggie @ofpixelsandscribbles @twinkleallnight @lodberg @twinkleallnight @amandablink @neotericthemis @mm2305

Aftereffects

Three months earlier...

"Well?" Riley tilted her head to study Liam's profile. "What do you think?"

He cleared his throat. Lips parted, yet no words were formed. Liam had so many emotions hitting him all at once that a mere stranger had made his one wish come true.

His eyes went from the Statue of Liberty to the woman responsible for him being able to see it.

"I'm speechless." He lowered his head, lips curving in a shy smile. "I've never been so moved in my life than I am in this moment with you."

She smiled and turned her attention toward the iconic monument. "She's really something, isn't she?"

He turned toward Riley. His eyes traveled down her beautiful face softly lit by the dull light coming from the ferry they were on and the sliver of moonlight from above.

"Yes," he moved closer to her. "She really is."

Riley looked up at him. Her heart raced at the tender longing she saw in his eyes. He seemed so lonely. So in need of encouragement. So in need of affection.

Before he could step away, she snagged his lips in a tender kiss.

He froze for two seconds before crushing her to him. He allowed all the feelings he kept to himself pour out as a fuel to draw moans from her. The desperation he had been feeling since his brother abdicated didn't seem to exist around this woman.

His kisses traveled down her neck.

"Liam." She sighed when he returned to her mouth.

Her arms wrapped around his neck as he pressed her back against the railing.

"I don't want this night to end." He murmured.

It took a physical effort to stop.

"Neither do I." She cupped his cheek. "I know you leave tomorrow."

He nodded, already feeling the heavy yoke that was about to be thrust upon his shoulders.

"It's not quite tomorrow though." She kissed along his jaw as she whispered. "We can still enjoy the rest of tonight."

"Riley, I--you know I must choose--I couldn't do that and simply leave you to search for a bride." He felt guilty just thinking about it.

He would be the worst sort of cad possible if he were to spend the night in her arms.

He shouldn't have pursued her. The moment she had turned around and greeted him in the bar, he had thought of nothing else except getting to know more about her.

"I want you." She whispered. "If tonight is all we have, then let's make the most of it."

"You have no idea how much I want you." He kissed her once more, completely unable to resist her.

******************

Two and a half months later...

Maxwell winced when he heard the noises coming from Riley's bathroom. Bracing himself, he timidly knocked upon the door.

"You okay in there, blossom?"

"What--" she heaved into the toilet, "do you think?"

"Maxwell!" Bertrand snapped. "What is the hold up. She should have been downstairs fifteen minutes ago."

His eyes widened at the sounds of vomiting.

"Is she ill?" He whispered.

Maxwell shrugged.

"She seemed fine last night." Bertrand thought over the past few days.

"She has been more tired than usual." Maxwell narrowed his eyes in concern. "And this isn't the first time I've heard her throwing up."

Bertrand's stern demeanor turned to worry. "You don't think she's..."

"Think she's what?" Maxwell asked.

"We have been pressuring her to wear the right clothes. I hope we haven't caused her to think she needs to lose weight." Bertrand explained.

Maxwell's eyes widened. He would never be able to forgive himself if he had made Riley think less of her natural beauty.

"Riley!" He anxiously knocked again when they heard nothing but silence. "Can we come in?"

"Sure." Her weak response was followed by her unlocking the door.

The brothers walked inside and saw her sitting in the floor.

Maxwell wet a rag and crouched beside her. He gently cleaned the sweat off her brow, his worry was now off the charts at the half hearted smile she gave him.

"Thanks." She lifted her eyes to Bertrand. "I'm sorry. I know I'm supposed to be outside for the--"

"Don't concern yourself with that." He tempered his usual gruff tone. "We must take care of you first."

Tears filled her eyes at how kind he was being. He wasn't berating her or telling her that House Beaumont needed her to win Liam. She wondered where this Bertrand had been hiding. Tears began to trickle down her cheeks as the brothers discussed ways to help her feel better.

He ordered Maxwell to pick her up and carry her to her bed.

As she settled back against her pillows, he called down to the kitchen and ordered a tray of soup, crackers, and tea to be brought up.

By the time he was finished, she was crying in full force.

"Riley!" Maxwell sat down on her bed and tried to hug her. "Please tell us what's wrong."

Bertrand reached for her hand. "You do know how lovely you are, right?"

Her eyes widened at that odd question.

"We think you shouldn't change at all." Maxwell added.

"Indeed. Many of the dresses in the boutique are," Bertrand's frown firmed as he tried to think of a way to keep her from thinking her body was at fault, "they aren't properly made. One can never go by sizes there."

"And you're size is perfect. Liam can't keep his eyes off you." Maxwell added. "In fact, you could probably add on some weight and be even more beautiful."

"Indeed." Bertrand latched on to that. "Size does not matter. It is what is on the inside that counts."

Riley lifted her head. "What are you talking about?"

"You're," Maxwell mimed vomiting.

"You must stop." Bertrand added. "You do not need to lose weight."

"I'm not doing it on purpose." She shook her head.

It touched her heart though that they wouldn't want her developing an eating disorder.

"I don't know what's caused this." She explained. "The weirdest smells and motions seem to set it off. Like yesterday, the smell of tomatoes had me running for a bathroom and I've always loved tomatoes."

"Could it possibly be your nerves?" Bertrand sat down at the foot of the bed. "The social season can take a toll on even the most seasoned noble."

"I don't think so." Riley mumbled. "It's like my energy has suddenly been depleted. Of course that could be because of the vomiting."

"So what caused it to start?" Maxwell asked.

"How long has it been going on?" Bertrand added.

"I don't know what set it off. It's been going on for a couple of weeks, but it is getting worse."

"Hmm." Bertrand and Maxwell shared a glance.

"Riley, I hope you don't think badly of me for asking," Bertrand struggled to inquire into something so personal. "But, have you, er...did you..."

She lifted her eyebrows in silent question.

"Before you joined us, were you involved with anyone?" He closed his eyes in embarrassment.

"Involved?"

"Any previous boyfriends or hookups before Liam?" Maxwell clarified.

"Oh!" Her cheeks heated with color. "No. I actually haven't been in a relationship for almost a year now." She lowered her eyes. "I had a bad relationship with a guy and decided to focus on myself once I got out of it."

Bertrand relaxed some. "A wise decision."

"So no one night stands?" Maxwell prodded.

"I've never been that type of..." Her eyes widened. She had been that type for one incredible night.

It was the driving force in making her decision to come to Cordonia in the first place.

"Oh no." She breathed. "The night I met you," her eyes held Maxwell's shocked gaze, "Liam and I sneaked away and..."

Bertrand shot up off the bed. "Wait here."

*****************

"We must be certain." Bertrand stressed. "The bloodwork must confirm what the test showed." His frown was fierce as he stood before the physician. "Discretion is a must in this situation."

"I'll have the results by this evening." The doctor replied. "And only I will run the lab work for Ms. Brooks."

"Here's my number." Riley scribbled it out quickly. "If I don't answer, please send a text and voicemail."

Once he was gone, she sagged back on the bed.

"What do we do now?" Maxwell asked.

"We have a ball to prepare for." Bertrand held up a silk dress. "We missed today's events, but we must make an appearance tonight. Everyone will begin to talk if we don't."

Riley nodded. Her mind though was whirling with the knowledge that she was pregnant.

How will Liam react? Will he be upset? Will he hate me for allowing it to happen? Will he think I'm trying to trap him?

How do I tell him?

Taking the dress, she forced herself to get ready.

***************

"Have you seen Riley any today?"

Drake shook his head. "No. Why?"

"That's strange." Liam folded his arms.

He wondered if something was wrong. He hated that he couldn't spend every single moment with her. What if she had reached the end of her patience with this suitor situation?

He shook his head when Drake offered him a drink.

"You've got it bad." Drake teased.

"Got what?"

"Love."

"I do?"

"Are you saying you aren't in love with Brooks?" Drake smirked. "I've seen you with her. Ever since she showed up at the masquerade ball, you haven't looked at any of the other ladies trying to win you."

Liam couldn't help but smile over that. It was true. His night with Riley in New York had been the most magical of his life. Each moment he had spent with her since then all but reaffirmed that she was the only one for him.

He was thrilled at how the people of Cordonia had fallen for her. The press had only positive things to say about The American that had come to win his hand.

He could picture her smile when she approached him at the masquerade ball.

"I think we both know we have something special. One night together will never be enough for me." Riley whispered as he kissed her hand.

"I agree." He held her hand a moment longer than was deemed appropriate. "It isn't enough." His bright blue eyes shined against the silver demi mask. "Are you certain I'm worth going through these next few months? What if--"

"We end up with our happily ever after?" She finished for him.

He knew he had completely lost his heart in that moment. Our happily ever after. Her optimism that they could have that helped him through every step of this social season. She was the prize he knew he could claim once he passed the final hurdle to be king.

He spent his time in dull conversations daydreaming about their future. How beautiful she would be as a bride. How comforting she would be as they dealt with his father's illness and troubles of their small nation.

Then he dreamed of the family they would have. He hoped they had many children, each with her infectious smile and kindness.

He hoped she would say yes when he asked her to marry him. Even if they never had all these other dreams of the future, he would at least have her and her love.

Then all of this would be well worth it.

He did worry about his father's reaction to the time he spent in her company. Whenever Liam attempted to discuss his feelings about Riley, Constantine would point out another lady of the court. He wouldn't allow his son to go ahead and make a decision.

"You better head downstairs." Drake finished off his drink. "Can't have a ball around here without the prince."

****************

"Any word yet?" Bertrand whispered.

Riley shook her head.

He softly cursed, causing her to burst into laughter.

"I'm sorry." She giggled when he shushed her. "But I would have bet a lot of money that you would never say that word."

He rolled his eyes. "Be that as it may, you should go mingle."

****************

"Lady Riley?" Liam gently tapped her shoulder. "May I have this dance?"

She turned around with a start. "I'd love to."

He took her hand and placed it within the bend of his arm. "You look beautiful tonight."

She gently squeezed his arm. "Thank you." Her eyes lifted to his. "And you're as handsome as always."

"I don't know about that." He winked at her. "But as long as you think so, then I'm content."

He took her in his arms as a waltz began.

"Let's not spin as much as we normally do." She pleaded when he twirled her.

His brow furrowed. "Is something wrong?"

"No!" She said quickly. "Just, um, a little motion sickness from time to time."

"I see." He kept his gaze upon her face. "I missed you today."

"You did?"

"I always do whenever you're not around." He admitted with a sheepish grin.

"That's so--" she felt the vibration of her phone.

She stopped dancing, causing Liam to nearly trip

"Riley, is something--"

"Excuse me, I have to--that is--this is from--" she ducked out a nearby door before all her revelations came tumbling out.

***************

She plopped down on the edge of a small couch and read the message from the doctor.

Hitting the link, she read the results of her bloodwork.

Her breaths came in and out in short gasps.

I'm really pregnant.

"Riley?"

All the color drained from her face as she looked up at Liam.

He shut the door to the ballroom and knelt before her.

"What is it?" He took her icy hand in his. "Is something wrong?"

She licked her dry lips and tried to tell him.

"Yes. No. I'm not sure."

He pressed a kiss to her hand. "Whatever it is, I will do all that I can to help you."

She blinked back tears. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything." He laced his fingers with hers.

"Do you," she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "do you love me?"

"I do." He admitted. "I had planned on telling you during the Coronation Ball."

"Really?" Her eyes narrowed. "I need you to be completely honest with me right now."

"I am." He lowered his gaze to their clasped hands. His thumb brushed against her skin. "I know I'm not supposed to say anything until then, but you are the one I will pick to marry," he looked up at her, "if you want to."

She bit down on her bottom lip. "Do you want children?"

"Yes, and not just for the continuation of the Rhys holding the crown." His smile gentled. "I want a family with you, selfishly for myself. I want all the holiday memories spent with them, watching them see the world with wonder, and seeing our traits passed on, especially yours." He chuckled. "Heaven help me if we have a daughter like you. I will be completely wrapped around her little finger."

Riley couldn't believe she was hearing all she needed to from him.

He really is Prince Charming. My Prince Charming.

"Do you remember the night we met?" She asked.

"How could I forget?"

She grimaced at the worry that still gnawed at her mind.

"My love," Liam sat down beside her. "Please tell me what troubles you."

"I had not been with anyone in a long time." She began. "I mean, no one for months when we spent the night together."

Liam merely listened, wondering where she was going with this.

"I didn't think in the heat of the moment. I should have. It was irresponsible, but I was so swept off my feet..." She took a deep breath. "And I found out today that I'm pregnant."

His fingers tightened around hers.

"I'm sorry. I know with the--"

"Pregnant?" Liam interrupted her. "You're certain?"

"The doctor just sent me the results of my blood work. That with the test I took and the physical exam confirms it." Her eyes widened when he suddenly stood up and took her into his arms.

The kiss he gave her weakened her knees. His arms held her as if she was the most delicate piece of porcelain.

"Marry me." He said between kisses.

"That kinda was the whole point of me coming here." She teased, once she saw how happy he was.

He smiled against her lips. "Is that a yes?"

"It is."

He stepped back and took hold of her hand. With quick strides he had them back in the ballroom.

Waving the conductor to stop the music, he held his hand up. "May I have your attention please!"

The court stilled as all eyes turned toward him.

Ignoring the hushed questions coming from his father, he settled his arm around Riley's waist.

"Lady Riley has made me the happiest man this evening. She has accepted my proposal of marriage and has told me that within a few months or so," he turned his adoring gaze upon her, "we will have an heir to the throne."

Constantine staggered back at this announcement. He had no idea the couple had become that close.

Regina called for champagne to be brought to all the guests as she embraced the young couple.

Liam held his glass up. He decided to force his parent to officially accept Riley in front of the entire court. He suspected that if he had not announced the fact they were expecting, that Constantine would find a way to break their engagement. He didn't know why he felt such unease with his father when it concerned Riley, but he wasn't going to leave anything to chance when it concerned her.

"Father? Would you like to give the toast?"

Constantine cleared his throat. Seeing no way around it, he stepped forward and lifted his glass. He hoped for Liam's sake that this woman would not be detrimental to his rule.

"To my son and the lady he has chosen. May they have all the happiness that I have found with my own queen and may their new family continue to serve Cordonia with grace and honor." He turned toward them. "To Liam and Riley!"

#choices the royal romance #liam x riley #choices the stories you play #choices fan fiction #trr liam

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beauty-of-depravation · 3 years

Text

Under My Roof

A/N : this was supposed to come out for Valentine's day. And then life happend and I'm posting it a month later 😅 this is pure filth, it's only smut, PwP. This all started with a message exchange with the incredibly funny @badassbuchanan 😂 after sending her the second gif 😂

Word count : 8K

Warnings : dégradation and knife play so discrete you won't see it, exhibitionnisme...etc. +18 !!! Maybe a bit of angst I'm not even sure, and a cheesy poorly written ending. Enjoy !💘

Plot : your are Bucky's maid.

***

You were lost in your thoughts, while walking back to Bucky Barnes's home. Your eyes wondering over the couples that walked past you.

Valentine's day. Again. You hated this day. This painful reminder of your loneliness. The reminder that you weren't with the man of your dreams. Well yes, indeed you were painfully close to the man of your dreams.

You change his sheets. Prepare his meals. Go grocery shopping for him. Clean his house. Take care of him when he was sick.

But you weren't with him. You were just the maid.

You were the one he sent to go buy flowers and a box of chocolate. A bouquet and sweets he would give to another woman tonight. While you would fall asleep, alone, in a house that was not yours. After completing tasks that were of no interest to you.

Of course you were more than well paid for your services, but ...you had no free time. You worked six days a week and on your only free day you were too exhausted to go out, so you stayed in your room all day sleeping or reading, which didn't allow you to build a single serious relationship in three years of this job. And ... if you were being totally honest...also the fact that you had the biggest crush on your boss.

And every Valentine's Day you'd remember that you.had.nothing. No boyfriend. No home for yourself. Every Valentine's Day you remember that you didn't build anything. You spend your life ordering the life of a man who does not see you. Around you your friends have homes of their own, husbands, children, a future. And you ...

Arggg! Getting into the house, you angrily put down the bouquet of flowers and the box of chocolate that Bucky asked you to buy for his evening date on the kitchen table. It was already about 5pm, normally you'd start on dinner but he told you not to cook tonight, and if you wanted you could have something delivered for yourself. Fuck him. Fuck Bucky Barnes.

You locked yourself in your room. And soon after, you hear him leave the house.

You try to read, but you can't concentrate. You go on tiktok and instagram, Tumblr and finally you end up on pornhub. Your eyes move from video to video and when you find something that appeals to you, your hand quickly slides straight inside your panties, Without giving the rest of your body any attention.

Your fingers find your clitoris, and begin to massage slowly, but as soon as the pleasure begin to rise, a pair of blue eyes appear in your memory, and your movements suddenly stop. No ! You don't want to think about him now!

You shake your head, breathe out, and try to refocus on the video. But as soon as your hand starts moving, it's his face that pops into your head, his voice, his smile, his body ... NO! It is pathetic. You can not let yourself think about your boss, who by the way must absolutely not be thinking about you at the moment, while masturbating on Valentine's Day. It's ... really pathetic. Suddenly angry at yourself, at him, and at the work, you close your porn and go to playstore.

You download the first three dating apps you find and sign up for the three. No way your spending Valentine's Day eating fast food on the sofa while thinking of your boss. Masturcraying is not for you, not today, not ever.

You choose your prettiest photo and select it as a profile picture. You select: "Partners near you". And just like that, the profiles appear on your screen, and you just have to pick and choose.

Few hours and some weirdos later, you are chatting with a nice guy, attractive enough, funny and chatty.

From Theo to Y/N « you want to go out ?»

From Y/N to Theo «yes ! Let me ask my boss first»

And then it occurred to you. He didn't even ask you if you had plans for tonight. He didn't even think about giving you your night.

Annoyed, you quickly texted

From Y/N to Mr.Barnes « Sir, i have plans, can i have my night?» you wait and wait...but the answer comes only half an hour later.

From Mr.Barnes to Y/N «No, you should have asked yesterday. I'm expecting a package around eight, please don't forget to pick it up»

From Y/N to Mr.Barnes «Please Sir, i never asked you for a day off. I'm feeling a little bit down. I really think going out would help, i could ask for mr's Happkins to reception the package, I'll get it first thing back»

From Mr.Barnes to Y/N «No. You'll have you little date in your free day. I'm busy i don't have time to text»

Fuck.him. Fuck him. Fuck him. Fuck him. Fuck him. Fuck. Him. Fuck him.

From Y/N to Mr Barnes «FUCK YOU.»

Delete.

From Y/N to Theo « My boss isn't here, wanna join?»

4 hours later.

You are drunk. Drunk on the best alcohol you ever had. Drunk on an alcohol you'd never be able to afford. Where did you get it from ? Bucky's cabinet.

He won't be here until tomorrow, you have all the time.

You turn your head to the cute guy next to you, curly blond hair, slim and tall and a shiny smile. Perfect.

You lean in to kiss him. You don't even remember he's name. You share the taste of the delicious alcohol on your tongues, you laugh between kisses, joke between messy body grabbing, and play cat and mouse around the table. Your tops are off, your lips swollen. «Eat me out» you state, no second thought. «That's bold» he says, opening wide eyes but smiling. «I'm sick of being good...» «It's okey, i like bold»

You sit down on the couch, pull your skirt up, take off your panties, and lay back.

The boy doesn't wait to get on his knees between your legs, and he gets right to work. His tongue teasing your entrance, and his lips kissing your clit playfully.

Fuck Bucky. This is a nice boy. Fuck,Why are you thinking about Bucky ? And why is your heart tightening ? Fuck. Tonight you deserve better. This doesn't feel like enough. Not enough to fuck your boss out of your mind «Let's go to one of the rooms» you say purposefully.

He looks at you, eyes sparkly «Whatever the lady asks for» the blond smiles at you, getting up, and ...not helping you get up. It's alright, you're not looking for romance any way.

You chose the nicest room. The biggest one, after Bucky's. As soon as you get in, the boys hand are on your waist, pulling you back against him. His lips on your neck making you giggle. He moves them to you breast, your only wearing your bra. «Can you help me take it off ? I have trouble with this things, bras hate me !» you laugh and help him take off the underwear as he unzipped his jeans, letting them fall to the ground.

You feel yourself getting excited, this is so new to you ! Having a stranger in your big scary boss's house, and letting him fuck you. That's... liberating! And if you thought about feeling guilty, the way he replied to your message came to your mind and you'd just think “fuck him”

You jump on the bed, and invite your partner to join you, he does and as soon as he is next to you he attaches his mouth to one of your nipples, and his hand go directly to your pussy, teasing your entrance once again, you slid your hand towards his boxers, feeling his cock getting harder between your fingers as you pump up and down his lengh. You kiss slowly while teasing one another, moaning in each other's mouth.

But then, the blue eyes again. The metalic blue eyes of you boss appear in you mind. The beautiful mesmerizing blue eyes, that beautiful face, those lips, the smirk, the jaw the body, you wonder if his cock is thicker then ...OH DEAR GOD. THAT IS ENOUGH.

«Hey.» you awkwardly start. «Yeah ?»

«Wanna...get inside ?» (NDA : yes kids, sexe with a stranger is more awkward then sexy)

«Sure ! That's not an offer you say no to !» He stumble in the covers getting up, reach for his jeans and grabs a condom in the back pocket. He opens them and it takes few seconds of fumbling and shaky hands to get the condom in place, while you're lying there looking at him.

You both laugh awkwardly, as he gets on top of you, looks for the entrance few seconds, and start sliding inside. It feels nice. See ! you don't need fucking rude and sexy Mr.Barnes.

«Harder. Go harder.» he start thrusting faster, and you close your eyes. Concentrating on the feeling and the friction. but soon enough, the blue eyes try to make a new appearance, and you open back your eyes, to escape his.

He has nice hair. Nice blond locks. He looks cute, a slow building pleasure starts raising in your belly. Imagine his beared on your inner thighs, and his tongue battling your into submission, and ...his cock stretching your walls, and you orgasm is getting closer and closer, you push your hand over your mouth to keep your moans down, he doesn't go deep but he goes fast enough for you to feel ready to cum, on top of that you've been watching a lot of porn and dirty tumblr to get you there rapidly. and just as you pussy clenchs, he stops everything. Fuck Fuck Fuck, you try to buck your hips but nothing will save you, You just had a ruined orgasm !

«what, i, i !!! » « think someone is coming in.» he whispers.

You stop breathing as you hear a key turning in the lock.

The front door.

Fuck.

Only two people have this key, you ...and Barnes. Fuck. He is back.

Fuck Fuck Fuck. «My boss is back, fuck, hide !»

You put on your shirt no bra, your skirt no panties, you close the door of the room where you leave the boy, and run out at full speed. A second after you are in the living room, collecting his shirt on the couch, trying to hide the mess, you just have the time to push the empty alcohol bottle under the couch before Mr.Barnes appears.

«What are you doing ?» He says, suspicious, looking at you messy appearance. «Nothing, just cleaning.»

«at 11 pm ?» he raises a suspicious eyebrow. «I...icouldn't sleep.»

Your underwear. Shit. It's right on the edge of the couch. “Please don't notice, please don't notice, please don't notice” «well, since you are awake, could you draw me a bath ? I'm exhausted.» «Yes, sir.»

You go out as quick as possible, and passing by the end of the couch, you try to discreetly grab the underwear, you roll it in your fist, and run up the stairs. Once in the bathroom, you try to rearrange your hair, and start preparing the bath in a hurry, terrified at the thought that your boss could go to the friend's room you used (which he never does) and find your little...date.

While the water start to warm up, you hear the bathroom door open, and close in your back. And Mr Barnes just sits there, in your back, watching you, watching your every movement. Your fist is in front of you, tightly clenched on the underwear. His look is sharp, you feel it burning you skin, you are so aware of your own appearance. You are usually so put together. It must be the fist time in three years of working for him that he sees you in such a state.

What could he possibly be thinking. He is looking at you in such a way that your hands shake.

Maybe ...if he asks questions...you could tell him you were masturbating when he came in ? Sure it would be a shame, but ... It would be believable, and he would be to embarassed to look any further. You shake you head, trying to steady your hands, while adding salts in the water but then ... «You can go, I'll do that myself» he comes up right behind you, really really close.

He doesn't need to repeat himself, you furtively slip under his shoulder before running away

When you hear the bathroom door close again, you run towards the guest room and try to open the door quietly. But...it's locked. You try and try again and it's locked. «Hey it's me» you whisper. «Can I go now ?» Whispers the boy, from the other side. «Yeah, Open the door, why did you lock it ?»

«I didn't, i heard it get locked, i thought it was you.»

You brain stops working. Why would Barnes ever lock a guest room door ?

Deep inside you know. There is no other explanation. Your heart stops beating. But you head is desperately looking for any reason he would do that. There is none. There is only one : he knows. He know and you just lost your job. You feel tears gather in your eyes. God why did you have to be so stupid !? Sure, now is the time to regret. Fuck.

«I'll come back to open, can you just ...give me some time ?»

«What ? Are you fucking kidding me ?!»

You don't answer, and try opening the drawer where you know your boss puts a double of keys, but it's locked. You go to your room, think about gathering your personal effects, but then...your hands are shaking, and a small part of you still think "maybe he doesn't know, maybe there is an explanation"

You go back to the living room and start walking back and forth like a trapped animal. It lasts about twenty minutes. Until you hear it. You hear you name. From the bath room.

A commanding voice. Telling you to come here.

You hesitate a second.

But you have no choice.

You slowly start climbing the stairs.

Every step leading you to the bathroom is heavier then the one before.

Your heart is trapped in your throat.

You put your hand on the door lock. And try to catch you breathe. But suddenly the door opens and you are dragged inside by a firm hand around your wrist, before bumping into a hard chest. «Hey, there...» He whispers, in a dangerously calm voice.

You freeze.

He is naked, wrapped in only a tiny towel around his waist, holding you firmly against him.

You can feel his wet skin through your clothes. You don't now what to do, or what to say, but he doesn't seem to think the same. «Well behaved sluts answer when they are talked to.» He waits for you to speak up, but as you say nothing he continues «You are more eloquent with a dick in your pussy, aren't you ?» « no i...»

You try to say something, but you don't know what, you try to push him off but he is to strong. «No what? You though i wouldn't notice ? I knew the second i got in. You dumb little whore, you can see the window of the friend room from the outside. And your underwear on the couch ? Saw that to.» «I'm sorry, I was...»

«What ? What are you possibly going to say that could justify your behavior ?» his voice is dry, and he's body pushes itself further against you, forcing you to the wall. «I'm so sorry sir, don't fire me please. I don't know where my mind was, i..» «Fire you ? My god. That would be going easy on you. I know where your mind was, babygirl. In your horny little cunt.»

You whimper. Look down, only to see his muscular thighs, regretting, you close your eyes praying for all of this to be a bad dream.

«But I'm going to take care of that. You want to be fucked this bad ? Fine.»

You tilt your head up at him, surprised. Only to meet a black gaze.

« you are .. you are going to» « Fuck you ? Yes. Until you little pussy is sore, I'm going to fuck you more than what you can take, bully this little slut pussy, you understand ? Or do you prefer to get fired ?» «o...no.» «No what ? If you agree say "fuck me please sir"» «Please...» You stutter.

«That's not what I fucking asked!» He barks as his hand tightly grips you jaw, making you look at him. «Say it, loud and clear.» «Please, ...fuck me sir.»

«Ohh look at you, so well behaved. Your nipples are hard to..is that the water or the greediness, little slut ?» suddenly his hand leaves your jaw and grab at your neck, while his other hand cruely twist and pull on your nipple through your shirt, making you yelp, he let go of you hurt nipple, and his fingers grab something besides you on the edge of the bathtub. «See that in my hand? I'm going to push the blade of my razor on your delicate throat, now, you wouldn't want to hurt yourself by moving to much, right ? You better not fucking move. The things I'm going to do to you. The things I've wanted to do to you, Fuck» he grunts, «Take off your skirt»

You are forced to keep your chin high, because of the threatening blade, looking at him directly in the eyes, yours, teary, and his, dark with desire and anger. You push your skirt down, only to remember you are not wearing any underwear. You blush harder (even redder that what you already are) and you see his lips rise into a devilish smile.

«Is your pussy wet ? Did he finish fucking you ?» You don't answer.

«If you decide to act like that, I'm going to check by myself» he sighed. «Open you legs.»

While one of his hand keeps the blade against your skin, the fear of moving cutting your air, the other one reach down, and harshly forces your tights open, quickly moving up to your wet follds.

And, with no warnings, a slaps lands on your sensitive pussy, making you cry out.

Another harsh slap falls right on your clit and you try grabbing at his wrists and closing your thighs, but the blade pushed harder against your throat, and the hand that administrated the slaps push on your belly, forcing you to stay still. «Oh now see, you know how to use your voice. Did i say you could move? Stay the fuck still, whore.»

«Sir, it...it hurts.» «Oh really?»He says in a mocking voice, «good, it should hurt, is your little pussy sore from getting fucked under my roof ?»

Another slap lands, making a new cry escape your mouth. But you know better then to move, the blade is slowly moving up and down your skin, flattering it. The cold metal awaken every nerve of your body, and you feel... terribly aroused. You never felt more alive.

«It's nothing compared to when I'm done with you. I'm going to fuck the sanity out of you, little girl.»

You didn't plan on doing that, it's totally involuntary, maybe it's the vision of him, towering over you, only in his towel, hair pushed pack, his jaw tight, his eyes filled with hunger, his skin dumb, little drops of water rolling down his muscle, maybe it's the rush of adrenaline, maybe it's the mixed sensations from the blade, maybe ...maybe it's the months of fantasizing about him, of having this huge crush on the man, but you moan «Please, sir» as an answer.

He seems a little surprised, but soon a smirk ornate his lips and his eyes have a light of amusement and excitement.

«You want that ? You want me to fuck you ? How cute. That's not even a punishment for a greedy slut. Now...»

You're throat is set free, and you hear the blade hit the floor, as both his hands land on your waist, and his mouth join your neck, leaving met kisses and gentle bites, from your collar bone to your ear, « I bet you fantasized about that. About me fucking you, i mean, i knew you had a crush on me, but i thought of you as an innocent sweet little girl. Turns out...»

He kisses along your jaw, and when you think he is finally going to kiss your lips, he pull away.

«open you mouth.»

He scoffs at the speed you obey.

«Tongue out.»

You hesitantly pull out you tongue.

Your eyes widen as he spit in you mouth. And just as you are thinking about what you should do, spit it out ? Swallow ? Just ...keep it ? He makes the decision easier. He pinches your tongue between his thumb and index finger and cruely pull on it.

«Look at you, so desperate. Say "i belong to you"»

You try to close your mouth, but a slap lands on you cheek.

«No, no. Say it like that.»

The worst part is not you desperately trying to say the words with your tongue trapped between his fingers, it's not the obvious amusement on his face, not the humiliation he is putting you through, it's ...the fact that your pussy is getting wetter by the second, and you feel the blood flowing down to your clit. It aches, you want him to fuck you.

«Good girl. Now swallow.» He orders.

And you do, but this time you don't look away, your eyes firmly locked to his.

«I'm so fucking hard. You make me so fucking hard.» He grunts, pushing his hips on yours. Thighs on thighs, chest on chest, his dick on your hip bone.

If anything, he is, indeed thicker, and longer.

A little moan escapes your throat, as you move your hips with his, grinding against his cock, still hidden under the towel. Before you can think, your hand is reaching down, looking to feel him. He doesn't try to stop you, letting your fingers grip him, Making the towel fall on the ground. You feel him pulsing in your hand. He says and does nothing, fixating his eyes attentively on you. You start moving your hand up and down his shaft. You are fascinated, you explore every sensation, the one of your fingers wrapped around his veiny cock, you grip tighter, and wipe the precum leaking from his deep pink tip with your thumb. When you finally look up to see his reaction, his head is thrown back, his adam's apple bobbing under the thin skin of this exposed throat, you follow the edges of the his square jaw, the tensed large shoulders. His eyes are closed, and his breathing is unsteady.

And ...the fact that you do that to him, the fact that this is all you, makes your head spin.

You lower your gaze again, traveling over his chest, eye-kissing the perfectlytanned skin and the v of his hips, and his cock between your fingers. You admire how your hand is barely closing around it, and the precum still escaping the tip, how you can feel the blood pulsing in the prominent veins, how you ...are craving to close your lips around it. That's...the most beautiful cock you've ever seen, attached to the most beautiful man you've ever seen, and ...you want it all.

But just as you are thinking of dropping to your knees, his voice raises again. «You had your fun. don't fucking think you are in control.»

You look back up, and his hands tighten there grip at the small of your back, as he looks down at you. «Now, doll, I'll fuck your throat another time. Turn around.»

And, without waiting for you to oblige, he spins you around, and suddenly you find yourself facing the full body mirror.

His chin resting on the top of your head, his eyes meeting yours in the reflection, your eyes travel your appearance, flushed cheeks, slightly parted lips, hard nipples, chest raising and falling rapidly, his forearm firmly keeping you against him. «You are so ready for me to fuck you, sir's little slut.»

His hand slides under your shirt, your breast heavy in his palm, his calloused fingers pulling at your nipple, his mouth kissing right behind your ear, whispering.

«I'm saying that, but, you know, I've wanted to fuck you since the day you put a foot in this house.» Suprised, Your your raise your own reflection, meeting his eyes in the mirror.

«Don't look at me like that. The maid fantasy isn't a myth. Seeing you every day in this uniform, wanting nothing more than to fuck you on every flat space of this fucking house.»

You can bearly breath and you close your eyes, looking away.

Immediately you feel the sting of your hair being harshly pulled back, yanking your head up. «Eyes on me, on you, on us, you don't get to look away, whore.»

You shyly open your eyes, looking back at the reflection, but, not satisfied yet, he whispers, «say "yes sir"»

To ashamed and mesmerized by the picture before you, you don't immediately oblige, and that costs you a hard spank to your ass. «Say "yes sir"!» He repeats with a stern voice, that you know he won't tolerate you making him ask another time.

Another harsh slap lands on your ass and you yelp, «YES SIR.»

«Good girl, You know what, from now on, we are playing a little game, everytime I say something, ask a question, you reply with "yes sir", i don't fucking care if you like what I'm saying, i own you, and you will agree to whatever i say, do you understood?» «Yes sir.»

«such a good little slut, aren't you ?»

«yes sir.»

«You're not that dumb after all. Arms up, i want to see all if you.»

You immediately obey, and with that, you are completely naked, all available for him. «How beautiful, such a beautiful woman, with the soul of a whore, isn't that a pity ? I'm going to ruin it. Give me my pants.» «What ?» «What do you mean what ? You don't need to understand, i gave you a fucking order. I don't think you understand quite yet what is happening to you, but don't worry by the end of the night, you'll be a good girl again. The pants, slut»

You quickly reach to the floor and give him his pants, and it's with horrified eyes that you see him take the belt of the hooks. «Don't look at me like that, I'm not planning on spanking you with it tonight. But, you seem to forget who owns you, so..»

He reaches around your neck a put the belt around it, start to hook it «Until i buy you a proper leash, i'm going to put that around your throat, don't you think it's an amazing idea, doll ?» «Yes sir.»

«Good. Do you want a leash around that pretty neck ?» «Yes sir.»

«Now, i could think you are lying just to obey my orders, but you see, i think your telling the truth. Your eyes are filled with lust, and you pussy ...»

His fingers reached down, his thumb between your lips, before pushing two fingers all the way inside. «Your pussy is overflowing with your juices. It's twitching and sucking my fingers in.»

With no warning, 4 consicutive harsh slaps land on your ass cheek, making your cry outs and arch your back. «Did i give you permission to grind on my fingers ? No i don't think so, doll. You don't get preparation before my cock, you've already had that.»

You can't put your head around what is he talking about and you don't have time to think before feeling the tip of his cock at your entrance, «Are you ready ?» «yes sir.» «good girl.»

You expected him to slam himself inside, but...he, oh so slowly sink inside you, making you feel how every fucking inch of his cock is stretching you.

His hand reaches to your face and two is his fingers push themselves past your lips, pushing your tongue down, and making sure you are looking in the mirror. «You look so good like that.»

And with every inch of his cock that stretches your walls, the belt hugs your neck tighter, until he bottoms out, and you can bearly breath.

«Your so fucking tight doll, I'm surprised for such a worthless..» «STOP IT.» You scream

he immediately stills, and totally let go of the belt, letting your breathe deeply. You feel a sob in you're throat, and cover your mouth with your hand and close your eyes to keep the tears in.

«Oh my god, doll, did't hurt you ? I'm sorry, so sorry, come here, do you need to sit, do you»

«Stop calling me a fucking whore ! I've been in love with you for three years, i couldn't go see anywhere else because I think about you all the time, and tried to get over it, but i don't even have enough free time to meet someone ! I'm always working for you, and when I'm not, I'm thinking about you ! Stop stop stop stop...»

You keep repeating the words until you feel his arms wrap tightly around you, pulling you to his chest and hugging you. You're not crying, you are shaking, shaking of rage, of misery of lonliness, all the pent-up feelings that you had are short-circuiting your muscles. The hug is calming, at least he didn't just leave. But ...you are scared of the moment you stop shaking, and he stops hugging you, and tells you to get away, find a new job and someone who would love you back «i ...i'm jealous.» He Whispers

You're shocked to move, did you mishear ?

«i didn't want you to have a date tonight...i didn't want you to meet someone. And ...i ...i think like you, no i...i know i like you, it's...»

And from here on, it's the void, you don't catch any another word. He likes you ?

And finally you cry.

Tears slowly roll down your cheeks, and in the silence you can only concentrate on your ebulliting heat and Bucky's deep breaths. His heart to, is pounding under your ear, and you notice that you are holding into him as strong as you can, and he is doing the same. And from there, your have one feeling, hunger. And you have to satiate it. You've been starving for to long. You can talk later, and, if after you talk it doesn't work out, it will be okey, you want at least this moment. « I want you to keep fucking me.» «What ? No we don't have to..»

«No, i want to. And if you want to too, i want to keep going.» you say with confidence «But doll...»

«Show me what you feel, sir.»

He keeps silent for a moment, and then says slowly, like he is trying to keep control over himself.

«If you are sure, pretty girl. Let me just take this off» his hand travel to your neck to unbuckle the belt, but you stop him again.

«I ... Kind..of like it...can we ...?»

«Ohh doll, you want to keep the belt ? Such a naughty girl. You like the idea of me owning you ?» «Yes sir.»

«Good girl. My good girl...»

You feel his big hand move to your face, cup your cheeks, but...so gently. It's tender, nothing to do with his manners from the begging, and he softly move his face close to yours, looking at you directly in the eyes, the man that have been fucking you senseless, is now, shy and hesitating to kiss you, his eyes are showing just how sorry he feels and how he doesn't know how to act.

«Sir, i want a kiss.» «Yeah ? My pretty girl wants a kiss from me ?» «yes sir.»

His thumb keeps caressing your face while he slowly push his soft plump lips to yours, kissing staying still for a moment, enjoying the calming feeling, it feels like the word is exploding and...you couldn't care less. It feels like ...the chaos have a perfect order. His tongue saunter on your bottom lips, asking patiently for you to open your mouth, you like the kiss as it is and you want to savour the slowness of it for a moment more, knowing that when your tongues meet, there will be now slowness, no patience, just frenzy and hunger. And honestly you also want to test him a bit. So you don't open, but, at your satisfaction, he just waits, he keep tasting your lips, patiently, not forcing anything, not demanding anything. After you feel fed up with feeling him kissing you so purly, you part you lips, and finally give his tongue the access it's been begging for.

Like before big moment of life, there is an instant of calm. The time of a shared breath, where his tongue caress yours, and it's everything your heart needed. The world around you explode and it's perfect. The chaos is exactly where it should be, the chaos is perfectly ordered.

Then the desire takes it's rights again, the frenzy replaces the serenity. The hunger the fullness. The desire the satisfaction. He suddenly pull at the belt, and invade your mouth, owning it, owning you, and this time you gave that to him. He gets drunk on you, the more he drinks the thirstiest he is. His hand travel down your body, drawing every curve and fall before reaching your core. Every nerve of your body is in the edge. and soon as his hand gaze over your pussy, you whimper.

«Did he make you cum, doll ?»

You blush so hard while confessing, «a...ruined orgasm sir...you...you came in just when...»

He can't keep his loud laugh for himself, and his chest trembled filled with his hilarity. Shy, you burry your face is his neck and he caresses your hair. «oh poor baby, you had a ruined orgasm because of me?» He doesn't seem sorry for one bit.

«I don't know if i can be gentle if i fuck you, if you want I can just go down on you and... »

«No, sir, i ...i...still want you to show me how you feel. I can take it all.» «I knew you were perfect for me, doll.»

Your back is slowly pushed against the cold mirror, your hips brought forward, he keeps a firm grip of the belt, keeping your eyes locked, as he slowly burry himself in you. «My sweet girl never told me she wanted me, i was so scared i...i would...you...i..» «Harder sir, i want to feel you, I'll understand.»

He closes his eyes for a second.

And the air is kicked out of you. He slammed into you so hard that it kind of picked you up from the ground, like he was trying to rearrange your guts with all his might. «Bucky !»

hearing you say his name for the fist time must have awaken something in him, because he just seemed to fall in love right then, kissing along your neck, where you blood is pulsing. «Yes that's it doll, say my name...i love hearing my name from you.»

You repeat his name louder and louder as he goes faster and faster and you get closer and closer to your climax. «I want you for myself, i want no one thinking they can own this tight little pussy like i do, do you want me to show everyone that i own this pussy, your pleasure, your body, your love?»

«Yes, yes Bucky i want everyone to know !!!» «You want to cum doll ? You want me to give back the orgasm i ruined for you ?» «YES, Bucky, Please !»

«Hold it. not yet. I took away your orgasm from you, i think it's only fair i decide when you have it.»

«No please !» You desperately beg as you feel him slide out of you leaving you empty and needy.

«chuut, doll, I'm going to let you cum, i know how much you need it, but, not here.» a dangerous spark reflect in his eyes. «what ...what do you mean.» you hesitantly ask, not sure if your are ready for the answer.

«I mean that I'm not done teaching you a lesson.»

He kisses softly on your temple, and, with that, opens the bathroom door, pulling you by the belt, you follow behind, and ... you realise you ...get overly horny from him pulling you by the belt around your throat, you think to yourself «I can't wait to have a leash and collar he can pull me by» you get ashamed from the lewd thoughts. But you love the taste of ownership it gives him on you, and of belonging it gives you. A relationship that you feel have been here for a long time, but expressed for the first time tonight. He looks behind him and winks at you «I know you love me pulling you with my belt on your throat, aren't you a lewd maid, doll» you blush, and hide a slight smile by looking down.

Thinking he was taking you to the bedroom, you dont ask questions, until you over pass the door, and he guides you to the stairs.

«Where are we going ?»

«See, doll, i’m not a man who shares. and i don’t want anyone thinking that they can touch you, in any way. espacially not under my own roof.»

And that’s when you understant. you completly forgot about him. The guy you brought home.

And when you realize, he is already pushing the key in the lock

«finally ! is your boss gone? I thought you..»

Blondie stops right there in his phrase.

Seeing the massive and naked figure of barnes enter the room. Go cocked to talk looks at the man with wife eyes. «What ? Did you think she forgot about you ? Yes she did. She absolutely did.» starts Barnes.

«Who are you ?!» says the kid in an irritated voice. «The owner of the house» cuts Bucky in a dry voice, «Now, do you can get my fist in your baby face, or ...» «No ! Bucky he did nothing !» you intervene without thinking, still hidden behind the door.

«Oh well see whose talking, hiding behind that door. If you want to defend him come in sweetheart.» «i ...i can't.» «yes you can. Baby it's either my fist in his face or you show him who you belong to» «but ...»

«You have three seconds»

You know you don't have any other choice then to enter the room, one arm around you breasts and your legs as close to eachother as you can. You look at the floor, not brave enough to face your "date" of the night.

«What the fuck...is he forcing you to do that ? I'll call the cops.» «They will have nothing to do here.» interrupts Bucky, «Am i forcing you to do that sweetheart ?»

You shake your head.

«speak up.»

«no, no you are not.» «See, she enjoys it, tell him, love» «i enjoy it»

«Yeah ? Come here,» He pulls on the belt pulling you closer to him, and then slipping behind you. «Look how wet she is. That's not for you. That's for me. That's how wet she got when i punished her for fucking you. For thinking that she could be somebody else. Do you wanna see how I take care of her ?»

You think blondie is going to run out of the house, but you hear Bucky's laugh, and a zipper being undone.

«He want to see sweetheart ! Let's give him a show, he came all the way here for you, we can't let him leave with nothing.» «Yes sir.» «Good girl , now bend over the chair.»

Trembling from the anticipation and excitement, you get closer to the chair in the middle of the room and fold your body in half, a yelp escapes your throat when a hard smack is landed on you left ass cheeks, followed by the commanding voice of your boss

«Lower, arches your back»

You do, and his big hand delicately caress the smack mark he just left and then caress you along spine from bottom to your neck, sending shivers in your body. «See, how beautiful she is ? Do you think you deserve such a beautiful woman ? And you idiot would have fucked her what...6 minutes before cuming and calling it a night ? Huh ? No. I'm going to show you how ..»

He slips inside you slowly again, making you gasp when you finally feel him stretching you open around his thick member «how you she deserves to be fucked»

The boy don't answer, to absorb by the vision of you, back arched, hips pushed back, eyes closed, nipples hard, and moth opened, gasping for air. Your whole self is subjugated by a number of feelings. One of them is a sharp feeling deep in your soul, of proudness and excitement, coming from getting fucked by Bucky for an audience.

You can feel every vain on his cock pulse, and the tip targeting your most sensitive spot. Then, slowly dragging himself out, only to roughly push in again. Grabbing you by the hips he maintains a stable rythme, of rough but long thrusts. Dragging himself slowly out of you and penetrating with everything he has. You burry your face in the crook of your arm, now screaming and audibly gasping, and the worst and best part is everytime you try to avoid the roughness of his thrusting by leaning forward, he'd grip your hips tighter, and pull you back on his cock.

«I'm going to cum, sir, sir, i'm ...oh. I'm close...» you desperately cry out, feeling a volcano ready to irrupt in your lungs.

Immediately after those word leave your mouth, his hand closes around your throat, pulling your back, your head to his shoulder, and his other hand fall along your body, to press two firm fingers on your clit

«Good girl, such a good girl, about to cum on her boss's cock, wait, hold it»

Feeling you weaken, and your moans turning to breathy cries he squeezes harder on your neck : « said hold it, doll, you don't want to see what I'd do to you if you don't .»

It takes everything your have for you not to immediately cum, but, and thank God he is not using he's fingers, he is just keeping them on your clit, while he kiss you ear : «look at him baby.»

It takes you a second to understand who is he talking about, but when you get it, you are to close to cumming to fight him, or be shy, you look at the blond boy, who is rapidly stocking his cock, looking at you with hunger.

«See, he's going to cum for your cum from seeings you get fucked.»

Your vision is now blurry, and you have a hard time breathing, with his tight hold on you neck. «who is fucking you ?» «You sir!»

«Yeaah, tell him you love when i fuck you, tell him that you are my fuckdoll.»...«Say it, or you don't get to cum»

«I'm his fuckdoll ! I'm sir's fuckdoll ! I love when he fucks me ! Please can I cum !? I can't hold it !»

You desperately scream out, your last sentence cut because bucky starts furiously moving his fingers on your clit, still not letting go of you neck, but giving you some space, just enough so you not to faint. You hear a loud groan from in front of you and you understand that your "date" just came, and he seems to have come pretty fucking hard. You are yourself ridding the edge, trying not to let go before Bucky's permission.

«He just came for you. You are so fucking beautiful princess. cum, cum on my cock doll, cum right Fucking now.»

«Oh thank you, thank you bucky, oh my ....»

Your whole body shakes and he keep fucking you through your orgasm, his hip movements now messy and practically violent indicate that he is close to cumming to. «Going to fill you up sweetheart. You... okey with....fuck... that ?» «yes yes please.» you reply with a broken voice.

«Good Fucking girl, my good fucking girl» He groans, before stilling deep inside you and shooting hot strings of cum in you tummy, growling and harshly biting at your shoulder.

You go limp in his arms and he hugs you tight. You stay like that for few seconds breathing heavily, while he slowly pulled out.

Suddenly you feel something that sends panic through your body.

«Bucky ! » «don't move sweetheart.»

He's hand once again find your pussy, and he pushes two fingers inside of you

«No, no, I'm serious please i can't go again...»

«I know doll, i know, don't worry»

His fingers slip out of your pussy, covered in his cum and your juices. He then makes you sit on the chair, where you abandon yourself. And ...walks toward the boy, who is just sitting awkwardly on the edge of the bed.

Silently Bucky stands before him, blondie looks at him with big eyes, half afraid half mesmerized. And Bucky...pushes his two coated fingers on the boys lips.

It takes a second.

Then, like obeying to a higher force,

The boy open his lips, and your psycho hot boss pushes his finger deep down his throat, making him taste you two mixed, and gag on his fingers.

Your "date" doesn't say anything, silently taking and licking the fingers, while looking up at your boss.

Bucky finally decides it's enough, take his fingers out the boys mouth, «go home»

Then turn around to you

«Going to sleep with me tonight, right Princess»

«heuu...hmmm excuse me, when, could we do that again ?» shyly ask blondie.

«Never. If you repeat anything of what happened to anyone, If you try to approch her, if i see you around my house, i kill you, now. get out. » conclude bucky in a sharp voice.

Blondie zip up his pants as fast as he can, and runs out of the room with not another word, maybe a little glance at you and... bucky.

Seeing that this last have an arrogant smile, «and That's how you Fuck a woman you're in love with» he screams, before hearing the front door close.

#smut #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes smut #sebastian stan #the winter solider x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #mcu x reader #mcu smut #bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes imagine

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wincore · 4 years

Text

vixen | nakamoto yuta

pairing: kitsune!yuta x female!reader

words: 5.1k

summary: every year, you visit the fox who claims to know everything about you.

genre: fantasy/folklore, fluff, angst(?)

warnings: suggestive, mention of past bullying, one excessively flirty nakamoto yuta

song rec(s): clear and sunny - sou (cover)

a/n: this is for all you furries who aren’t quite furries yet muah (im joking) but aaaa love exploring folklore and also i should put in a disclaimer that not every aspect adheres to the original tales of the kitsune <3 i did not proofread btw and i am very sorry

Some things never change.

Examples: boys, shitty friends, death, and the scent of nostalgia. To you, that very scent happens to be the earthy smell of chrysanthemums and a faint waft of spices from the kitchen in your parents’ house. To you, October is not just another month. To you, there is one more thing that never changes and it is not your belief in old ghost stories.

Around this time of the year, the autumn festival begins in a flurry of vibrant red smudges and a whiff of excitement, in streets suddenly brought alive. The skies are candied orange, and it’s the only time you aren’t tired of home. This time is also when you find yourself right in the clutches of the one demon you swore you’d avoid for the rest of your life. You swore. It’s not your fault that said demon is a little, let’s say, tempting.

Tempting in the most vexing, infuriating way possible. Bewitching, cruel, seducing—all that foxes are and all that you’ve heard of them could not have prepared you for an encounter. Folklore runs deep through you. The memories of a certain fox-boy run deeper.

It is not the festival you are here for.

You yawn, leaning against the wooden door frame of the shop. It would be inappropriate to fall asleep on the job, especially since there are a bunch of children staring idly at you. You close your mouth quickly, resting the back of your hand against your lips. Late afternoon is an easy time to fall asleep. You have half the mind to snarl at the kids to scare them off, their gaze getting on your nerves and when you think you will, you turn the other way. Manners come first to you, no matter how temperamental you get.

The procession has gathered a crowd. Some shouts and squeals from the children make you slump further. At least they’re having fun with whatever stupid game they’re playing. You breathe in the autumn air. A part of you wonders if you simply let your feet lead you down the stairs, you’d be free of this entire ordeal. You shake your head. Temptation has always been hard to resist—never meant to be resisted but you’re much older now. There is dignity to be answered.

October is mild—your grandmother’s shop is still on the verge of collapse, your mother still yells at you for misplacing kitchen utensils and your old friends from school still gossip about who you’re dating. It’s like the script never changes; people change the meaning, twist their words in the same old pattern. If you were a little less behaved, you would have poured your drink over their heads yesterday.

You clench your jaw. It’s always an ‘Oh, you’re so attractive’ and an ‘I wish I could date as many men as you do but I’m loyal to my boyfriend’, or even a ‘Must be nice being surrounded by boys all the time’. You know what they mean. It’s not the first time you’ve been called a fox, and you don’t think it’ll be the last—at least until you decide to stop letting your hometown suffocate you. Maybe you’ll accept what they say. You have heard of what hatred left unchecked can do.

If you’re honest, you haven’t been with too many men. If you’re a little more honest, none of them have ever made your heart race.

You watch the children play with a keen eye, their painted masks ridiculously large for their faces and in brightly coloured clothes contrasting well with the town. You might not be allowed to fall asleep, but there’s nothing against closing your eyes for a second or two.

The image of glinting yellow eyes and a fanged smile pop up and you quickly open your eyes. You don’t know why your heart beats so loud at the mere thought of him, thoughts in which his lips are full and painted red, and his bright smile is stretched upon them. Sometimes, the thought of him is in gentle washes, his hand fixing your hair, or a flirty smile when you dare stumble upon him on a particularly sleepless night. You shake your head to get rid of the thought. That is not love. Some sort of embarrassing attraction, maybe. However, the friendship you have is worse.

“I see you’re a slacker as always.”

Your grandmother’s voice breaks you out of your cycle of thoughts and you’re almost grateful.

“I sold approximately zero sweets,” you snort. “Why can’t we just do away with the shop?”

“You’re starting to sound like your mother,” your grandma calls from behind one of the counters, distaste ringing clear in her voice.

You sigh. “Fine, but… you work way too hard to make these for them to not sell.”

“Maybe they would sell if a certain little lady would stay and help.”

You groan, leaning your head back. “You know I have work in the city.”

Your grandmother waves her hand about, dismissing your reasoning. She fiddles around in the shadows for a bit before coming forward with more boxes than she should be able to hold.

“You don’t have to feel too guilty. Yuta’s been helping out,” your grandmother informs fondly. “You could learn a thing or two from him.”

You’re not the superstitious sort and yet still, your heart beats faster. For him, or for the bad omens foxes bring to a household—you don’t know.

You scoff instead. “He’s not as great a guy as you think, grandma. He can be really mean too!”

“Oh, I doubt that. Have you seen his smile? Impossible.” Your grandmother waves it off before drawing nearer, voice hushed without reason. “Have you thought about it then? He is handsome, isn’t he?”

“Grandma.”

You’re not sure what old women go through in their youth that makes them something of a matchmaker in their later years. You think the whole ordeal is messed up. There is no way you’re going to stick your nose into your grandchildren’s love life; it’s gross.

“These should be enough for the children, no?” Your grandmother asks and you look up.

“You’re giving them away for free?” you question, furrowing your eyebrows. “And you talk about bad business.”

She places her hand on her hip, pointing an accusatory finger. “You’re going to lecture your grandmother?”

You raise your hands up in defeat, standing up to help her with the red boxes of acorn candy and paper wraps of roasted chestnuts. You end up with the entire load in your arms, your grandmother happily shuffling about as she locks up the store.

You turn sharply at the surprised sound behind you. The evening has settled in and glowing lanterns bring forward the evidence, the darkening streets flooding with round droplets of light.

But it is not the festival you are looking at.

Yuta looks somewhat serene, your cheeks heating up despite yourself. You look at him with bated breath, hoping the boxes obscure your face enough to make the vaguely positive emotions less evident. The dark red jacket draped over his shoulder does not look out of place—in fact, he fits in so well you would’ve mistaken him for another face in the crowd if he weren’t stupidly gorgeous. He looks at you with no strong emotion in the eyes before breaking into a smile; and when his hand strokes the top of your head as a greeting, he seems fond. He always does.

“Grandma,” he calls with his best smile, turning to the old woman.

Your grandmother doesn’t need any more convincing of his character.

“Oh, there you are! Did I tell you (name)’s back? I wanted to break the news to you earlier. Ah…I must have forgotten.”

You glance from Yuta to her. Is this another one of her tricks and tests?

“She’s always here this time of the year,” he responds, laughing politely.

“Ah, you remembered,” she says, eyes crescent as she smiles back. “Help her with the boxes. The city has made her so frail.”

“I’m good,” you choke on the words, hurriedly moving away and almost dropping one of the boxes.

You slip on your sandals and scurry off faster, wishing he’d just stay behind. He always has. The air makes you shiver but you’re adamant; and it’s not the only trait of yours to make relationships fail.

“You know, you should be nicer to old friends.”

You try not to react when Yuta takes the boxes from you, matching your pace almost effortlessly.

“I thought foxes ran away once they’re found out,” you snap, reluctantly letting him take the packages.

Yuta rolls his eyes. “I see you still aren’t very fond of me.”

“Not when you’re tricking my grandmother like this,” you hiss.

“You call helping trickery?” he retaliates.

“Foxes bring bad business,” you mutter.

“I’m the reason your grandmother’s business is somewhat above the water.”

You sigh, exasperated. There’s no point in wasting your breath. You look away, crossing your arms as you walk, the silence between the two of you suddenly awkward. Even so, you’re not going to open your mouth for him.

“Would you two slow down?” your grandmother calls, voice weary. “We’re already there.”

The two of you halt in your tracks immediately, taking mellow steps back to her. She looks over the two of you with furrowed eyebrows and you try to think of an explanation when she starts laughing.

“Oh, I don’t mind the two of you flirting,” she says, littered with slow laughter. “Just make sure the food is where it’s supposed to be.”

You’re about to refute when Yuta laughs, the sound still boyish and lively. “Of course. (name) missed me so much this year, she couldn’t help herself.”

You give him a pointed look which he ignores, deliberately or not. “We- I wasn’t—”

“Grandmother, if you’ll give us permission,” he interrupts, settling the packages on the table by the food stall and smiling wide. “We’ll go enjoy the festival now.”

She bobs her head in affirmation and Yuta grabs your hand to pull you into the bustling street, your silent plea for help ignored by your smug grandmother.

“What are you doing?” you ask, slipping your hand from his. “You aren’t- You aren’t trying to eat my liver, are you?”

“Why the liver? Can’t I have the rest of you too?”

It’s not like you were particularly alarmed but his response makes you feel a flush of embarrassment.

“It’s been a year since I last saw you,” he says before his voice turns a shade cooler. “Have you thought about my proposal?”

You fall silent. The overthinking started last year too. Your thoughts and dreams, so easily pervaded by him and all it took was one sentence.

“We should get married.”

“Why did you even think I’d agree to that?” You try not to get too flustered. He knows all your petty weaknesses and you’d rather not have them on display for him to stare and pick at. “What the fuck would I get out of marrying you?”

Yuta whistles. “I like your tongue. But—yes, to answer your question, you’d get a very handsome and capable husband. Your bed will always be warm and oh, speaking of beds—”

You clamp your hand over his mouth at the suggestive look he sends, worried about being spotted by one of your school friends. Ah, right—friends, the very same people that smell of jealousy and won’t miss any opportunity to throw a jab your way. Friends. You can’t believe you’re still afraid of their judgement.

“And why do you want to get married to me?” you ask, looking into his eyes.

There’s a pause, filled with the chatter of the crowd.

“You look like you’re afraid of finding someone,” he speaks finally, ignoring your question. “Or is it the other way around?”

You roll your eyes, ready to walk off when he grabs your wrist to pull you closer to his chest. It draws some looks from nearby people, your eyes darting from face to face in fear. You take a deep breath and look at Yuta again, almond eyes distracting.

“People will think we’re lovers,” you whisper, almost a hiss.

“What’s wrong with that?”

You breathe out in disbelief. “You’re really something.”

“What? Why did you always come to meet me then? Behind the keyaki tree?”

“It wasn’t for you,” you lie quickly. “I had nothing better to do.”

Pining after a fox? You could never have feelings for him. Even so, your answer comes off childish and silly, and somehow he’s the only one to be able to draw that side of you—the you that is messy and unprepared.

Yuta smiles in return. “You think people can’t fall in love with us the same way they fall in love with most everything.”

It’s a statement, not a question.

“How conservative of you,” he leaves with an airy remark, but not before urging you to follow him.

The sizzling sound of food being fried and the knocking, clicking sound of children playing games, all these forgotten sounds grow louder and for a second, if only you let yourself, you could close your eyes and it would be just like your first date.

No. It’s different. You look up, eyes trailing over Yuta’s back, his golden hair, how his figure moves with ease and confidence.

It is different.

You raise an eyebrow at the box of takoyaki Yuta shoves towards you, an expecting look across his face.

“You like this, don’t you?” he asks, an uncharacteristic hesitation in his voice.

You hum in response, taking the box from him and saving yourself the trouble of asking whether he paid for it or simply charmed his way through.

“Eh, no thank you?” he complains. “How polite.”

You scrunch your nose to accompany an exaggerated smile and he laughs, the two of wandering over the asphalt streets. Your hands are close enough to brush—and if a twenty-something year-old woman can feel jittery because of it, hands truly are meant to share warmth. The smell of candy and caramel fills the air, making you smile. You’ve saved enough for the taste of home, you think.

The taste of home.

Inevitably, the thought of kissing your companion crosses your mind and you stop in your tracks. Whatever. It must be natural when someone as attractive is beside you. Those aren’t feelings. You curse yourself for feeling like a teenager again.

The festival grounds aren’t as shabby as you expect them to be. The city,—if you could call this one—stops here and the earth spreads out to the forest behind. The crowd also thins, and you take a fresh breath. They’re selling old books in the corner, but no one seems to be there.

“The raccoon dogs,” Yuta whispers in your ear, with an arcane smile. “Want to visit those rascals?”

You roll your eyes. He knows you’ve heard one too many folktales for a lifetime, seen one too many. It’s time to go home, especially now that the thought of thanking him crosses your mind. You’re about to turn when your shoulder crashes into someone else’s. A surprised, syrupy smile greets you, which you cannot return for the first few moments. Yui’s smile wavers and you flash her a quick smile. A friend. Her arm is looped through her lover’s, the one she never shuts up about and suddenly the urge to pour water over her head returns.

Yuta glances from you to her before pressing his lips together, as if suppressing laughter. You’re almost offended when Yui laughs flippantly.

“You’re on a date too? I knew you couldn’t stand spending the festival alone,” she says, tugging her lover closer.

People have always told you who you are and what you do. As if they know better.

You smile awkwardly. “It’s… actually not—”

“Oh, don’t be shy.” She gently pats your shoulder before leaning in. “He’s a real catch. As expected from you. You can never leave the boys alone.”

You know what she really means. You’ve heard the same words in high school when she was shoving you into a wall behind the school. The sickening smile is still on her face.

You gulp, feeling sixteen again. The lack of people around somehow makes it more awkward and you’re about to excuse yourself when suddenly, Yuta bumps into Yui and his warm drink spills over her left shoulder. Your eyes widen, more in confusion. When did he leave? You don’t doubt his ability to sneak past people, but surely you couldn’t have been so enraptured in your own feelings that you barely noticed.

“I’m so sorry,” Yuta says, voice honeyed with surprise.

Yui looks like she’s about to explode when she looks at him, her expression dropping to a calmer one almost immediately.

It’s an easy look to recognize. They always have it when they first meet Yuta, whether it’s the smile that’s too dazzling or the pretty round eyes.

How persuasive, those eyes.

“Ah… I must have not seen you,” she says faintly, and Yuta’s smile widens.

Before he can stir up more trouble, you slip your arm into his and pull him away, not caring for another polite apology to an old, almost nameless face.

“I was having fun,” Yuta complains, voice still smug and calm.

You glare at him and it only seems to add fuel to the fire, to whatever cold fire dances at his fingertips.

“You’re happy, right? Don’t look at me like that. You should reward me.”

You don’t respond, looking away and hoping to get at least a word in about how troublesome he is every single time you visit. Yuta has other plans, however. Leaning his head to look you in the eye, he maintains a distance which looks perfectly decent but feels less than so.

“How about a kiss? I deserve one, don’t I?” He moves his head closer to yours, making you shy away.

You grab him by the belt and pretend to not catch a glimpse of the pleased look on his face as you drag him into a secluded part by the forest.

It’s quieter here, so much that you can almost hear your own heart drumming in your chest, and the faint light of the distant festival grounds doesn’t help much at all. It’s dark as dusk, and you can only make out Yuta’s jawline and a faint smirk over his lips. You think that if a fox ever wanted to eat your liver, this would be the perfect spot.

“You did something,” you finally utter the words. “You did something to me.”

“Why do you think I did something? Do you mean love?” he responds with a cheeky smile. “This means you’ve been thinking about me? How cute—”

“Yuta, stop it,” you warn.

“Or what? You should stop me yourself.”

You grab the lapels of his jacket, the cloth bunching as your knuckles turn white. The anger you feel isn’t the first of its kind—it’s just a little funny how it’s always Yuta every time, making you remember the burning feeling time and time again. You find yourself unable to respond.

“Oh, don’t hold back,” he provokes, leaning in.

You push at his chest in exasperation, but he grabs your wrists before you can retract your hands.

“Scared?” he whispers.

You pull apart anyway, a scowl over your lips. “You’re as annoying as ever. Don’t you have anyone else to bother?”

“Ooh! Sharp claws. You’d be lovely as my fox-bride.” he teases.

Your face flares with heat. “I’m not your… I’m not a fox.”

“I didn’t say a fox, I said—”

“I know what you said,” you snap, massaging your wrist so you don’t have to look at him.

Yuta falls quiet for a moment, voice lower when he speaks again.

“Is it so nasty to be called a fox? There are worse things, you know.”

You scoff, growing increasingly annoyed. “Of course you’d say that. I hate it. I hate this town. I hate foxes and I hate you.”

Yuta places a hand over his chest, gasping with no emotion. Your eyes linger over his long, painted nails a little longer before you meet his eyes. A part of you regrets saying the words but you couldn’t help it. The shroud choking your hometown makes you want to scream at the top of your lungs every time you’re here. You hate this place.

But you don’t hate him, after all.

You try to clear yourself of the thought. A gentle gust of wind brings you back to the present, Yuta still glancing at you with no giveaway to what he’s feeling.

“You wouldn’t make a terrible fox though,” he says, eyes sharp. “Don’t they know you’re a vixen already? How many livers will you eat?”

You suck in a breath, tears stinging at your eyes. However, it’s not like you to get so easily affected by him. No. No, somehow that doesn’t make sense either. Those words do hurt from Yuta and you’re not sure if it’s just because he's the only one you didn’t expect them from.

“You…”

“What? Aren’t you going to lash at me again? You’re so predictable.”

His voice is calm despite your obvious annoyance and you feel flames lick at your heart. Your hand moves before you can think, about to meet his cheek when he grabs your wrist. You struggle, trying to pull free but to no avail and you use the other hand to hit him in the chest. Unsurprisingly, it doesn’t bother him and that same feline smile curves up his lips.

You feel something you haven’t before, a warm growl at the pit of your stomach.

You push with all your strength, catching Yuta off guard and he stumbles backward but not before pulling you into him. Consequently, either of you lose footing and land on the grass with a sudden thud, Yuta’s side pressed against yours. His hands still clutch your wrist, and he shifts to hover over you.

“We used to wrestle like this as a litter,” he says, erupting into full laughter. “Ah, memories. I don’t even know if they’re alive or dead now.”

Yuta is much stronger than he looks, and he’s taken your tantrum as a source of amusement much to your infuriation. He has your hands pinned back, eyes unaffected as he scans over your face. You try to shift but there’s just too much weight on you. You breathe slowly, chest rising and falling in time with his. His earrings sway gently in the wind, dangling a few inches above you—he’s pretty, so pretty. Admitting defeat has never been your forte but now that your senses are gathering again, you feel a flush of embarrassment for losing your temper.

Or perhaps, it is something else when you register the lack of distance between your noses.

“Playtime’s over,” Yuta coos. “You’re kinda cute when you’re losing.”

He tilts his head, an adoring smile over his lips. For a moment, they’re all you see.

Can a fox comfort you? Can a fox make you feel loved on the darkest of nights? Your mind races with questions your heart does not want to answer.

Yuta leans in to close the distance and despite every nerve in your body, you turn your head away. You can hear him gulp, the following moments painfully quiet before he gets up. Your breath is soft and shallow, lying on the ground till you get enough courage to sit up.

You almost gasp. His tails are clearer under the dim moonlight, all nine of them golden and luxurious. The light hitting his face isn’t any less flattering and once again you are reminded of how handsome he is, fairytale or not.

Yuta looks uncomfortable, and that’s a first for you.

“I’m sorry,” you say, though you don’t know why.

He waves his hand dismissively, annoyed.

“Yuta,” you take a step forward.

“I see the way you look at me,” he says quietly, “Is it not want?”

You fall silent, biting your lip so you don’t retort violently. He doesn’t look particularly malicious when he says that but you do not want to give him the satisfaction of an answer yet.

He quietens for a moment before a look of curiosity flashes across his features.

“What is it then?” he asks. “Is it a secret? Foxes love secrets. Tell me.”

Despite every bone in your body burning up, you find it in yourself to laugh.

“I don’t think I could keep a secret from you if I tried,” you finally say, before bursting into soft laughter again.

Yuta looks at you puzzled, lips parted while he stands frozen as if he were a painting. A daunting, reckless, heavenly painting.

“It’s not want,” you answer quietly. “It’s more than that. Even if I hated it. I like you.”

Yuta’s ears perk up at your confession. “So- so you admit, then? You are interested?”

“I could blame you for this, you know?” You shrug, hugging yourself once the night starts to feel cold again. Yuta begins to take off his jacket when you stop him, gently pressing your palm against his chest.

“You’re a fox, after all,” you whisper. “Like me. What they think of me.”

Yuta purses his lips. “Does it really hurt you? No, wait. Did they- did they—”

“Now, you tell me,” you cut him off. “Why do you insist on getting married—to me?”

There’s a pause. The crickets chirp a merry tune despite the leisurely darkness of the night.

“You’re not terrible,” he says, nonchalantly.

You glare at him and he raises his hands in defeat. He looks wearier the more you look at him.

“I want to grow old,” he mumbles after a long pause. “Properly.”

You hold your breath.

“And you want to do it with me?”

Another flower blooms in your chest, as if he hasn’t planted a garden in there already. The lights from the festival flicker down, the lanterns burning brighter in the distance. He glances at them for a moment, your eyes still fixated on him.

The tails glow even brighter in the dark, as if gold in broad daylight. You’ve always been curious about him and his kind, all the stories; but he says he’s too old to remember if you ask.

You reach out to touch one of the tails, wondering if the fur is as warm as it looks. They’re pale and captivating, but they look so soft—they shouldn’t belong to an animal so vicious. Is he, though? Is he all that you think he is or have all these years failed you? If anything, he’s quite probably not as much a fox as you are, you think bitterly.

The fur is warm, but the realization is short-lived.

A short growl leaves the corner of his mouth. Yuta glares at you like he was stolen from and yet, you do not move your hand. Some part of you wants to aggravate him further.

“I’m not a pet,” he snaps. “Stop that.”

“You should stop me yourself,” you mimic his voice.

Yuta’s shoulders relax, and he looks down but you can still see the trembling smile on his face. It’s the way he looks at you, you think to yourself, maybe that's the reason after all.

“Don’t look at me like that,” you say, feeling warmer than the autumn night should allow.

“Like what?” he asks, still smiling.

You look away.

“You’re not too fox-like, you know?” you mumble. “You’re just annoying. And flirty. And annoying.”

Yuta chuckles, before pressing his palm to the top of your head.

“And you’re lovely.”

You give in to the gesture of affection, leaning your head to press against his shoulder.

“Why do you even do all this? What do you get out of it?” you say, voice muffled. He hears you clearly, however.

“Because I love you,” he responds, as if coming to terms with it himself. “More than you think.”

There is no joke, no flirtation to his tone, no decoration upon his words. It’s plain, and laid bare. And sometimes, simplicity is scariest.

You pull back, lips pulled into a frown. The air is cold once more; the longing for warmth flowing into you. The silence is worse.

“You don't believe foxes can fall in love,” he states softly upon a wavering smile. “I knew that. Of course.”

A part of him believes it too.

“I…” you begin, and for the first time, you are afraid of promises in the name of love. You are the one making them now.

“I’ll believe you,” you whisper, “I’ll believe you so please… please take care of me.”

You place your palm against his cheek, his skin bewitchingly warm.

“Only if you take care of me,” he whispers back, leaning in.

This time, you do not move.

The lovers’ kiss you’d been searching for—lovers’ warmth, lovers’ comfort—all of it comes crashing down once Yuta tightens his arm around your waist, the other hand resting gently at the base of your neck. He kisses with the right amount of pressure, the vague taste of sweet berries in his mouth.

You used to fear his touch, like he would eat you whole; even if they have been gentle, always. This time, you might as well let him. He presses his lips from your cheek to jaw to neck, lingering at each spot enough to make you clutch at his shirt tighter, taking in short gasps of breath. You kiss for a little longer, like time means nothing.

“We should go back,” you whisper, pulling apart.

Yuta kisses you again, the distance unacceptable.

“Yuta—”

He kisses you once more, your calls falling on deaf ears.

Finally, after another long kiss, he pulls apart enough to rest his forehead against yours, eyes still closed.

“It must have been hard for you,” he mumbles.

“You don’t have to worry about that,” you scoff.

“Foxes are faithful lovers, you know?” he insists.

You laugh. “What do you mean?”

“It means I’ll follow you everywhere.”

He stands up straight, his thumb stroking your cheek as he bites back a smile.

“I don’t think we should get back tonight,” he suggests all of a sudden. “We could book a hotel. That’s the place you use these days, right? I’m sure your grandmother will understand your absence—”

You groan, resting your forehead against his shoulder and he presents a delighted laugh in return. It is warm by his side; he is warm. You find it easy to forget the failures in love, the loneliness of a lover that isn’t meant to be yours. Folktales are just long tales, after all. You smile to yourself.

You should’ve known—it was the fox all along.

414 notes · View notes

vivithefolle · 3 years

Note

Hermione has more complimentary traits with Harry than she does with Ron. Hermione is logical and thinks through her decisions while Harry is ruled by his emotions and follows his instincts. She's enthusiastic/cheerful he is more introverted and bitter. She motivates him to do better, and he reminds her that there are more important things than books and cleverness. Ron's humour gets on Hermione's nerves and her cleverness does the same to him. Their differences tear them instead of balancing.

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Alright! Now that the hilarity’s over...

Hermione has more complimentary traits with Harry than she does with Ron.

Prove it.

Hermione is logical and thinks through her decisions

... and sometimes she also makes very illogical decisions and acts very rash, see how she sets Snape on fire in first year which could have hurt everyone around, how she forgot she’s a witch, see how the Polyjuice plan was total bullshit and relied 100% on luck, see how she acted completely thoughtless to Ron in POA, see how she was completely harebrained at the end of OOTP due to pressure, her very thought-out reaction to Ron and Lavender being together, and such...

Harry is ruled by his emotions and follows his instincts

You realize you just described Ron too, pal? Ron’s role in the Trio is the Heart. Harry’s the Body, since everything revolves around him, Hermione’s the Brain, Ron is the Heart. That’s how they work.

She's enthusiastic/cheerful

......... cheerful?

Hermione?

Cheerful?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA(...)HAWHAWHAWHONHONHONHONHONHAHAHAHAHA(...)HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAhahahaha... haaaa...

Hermione may be enthusiastic about knowledge, but she’s not cheerful. She’s not the one who makes the jokes, she’s not the one who has a snarky comment on everything, she’s not the one who makes Harry laugh, she’s not the one who laughs at Harry’s jokes. That’s Ron’s job.

RON is the cheerful one. Sorry pal, better reread the books.

he is more introverted and bitter

Pro tip: this can also describe Hermione to a degree. Though Hermione isn’t exactly an introvert, she’s more of a socially awkward extrovert. She’s not reading quietly in a corner and demurely asking “oh please don’t talk to me, I just want to read :(” she’s more like “I READ THAT BOOK ABOUT [social injustice] AND IT’S CLEAR TO ME NOW THAT [social injustice] IS UNACCEPTABLE, DO YOU HAVE A MOMENT TO TALK ABOUT [social injustice], I’M GONNA RAISE FUNDS TO PROMOTE AWARENESS AND EDUCATE PEOPLE ON THIS SUBJECT WILL YOU JOIN ME, WHY WON’T YOU JOIN ME, COME BACK WE’RE NOT FINISHED WITH THIS-”

... or, I could also... show you.

From your own dear and esteemed “Harmony Bible” that is Order of the Phoenix. *snort* “Harmony Bible”... oh my god, the delusion, the delusion...

“It’s lessons with Snape that are making it worse,” said Harry flatly. “I’m getting sick of my scar hurting, and I’m getting bored walking down that corridor every night.” He rubbed his forehead angrily. “I just wish the door would open, I’m sick of standing staring at it —”

“That’s not funny,” said Hermione sharply. “Dumbledore doesn’t want you to have dreams about that corridor at all, or he wouldn’t have asked Snape to teach you Occlumency. You’re just going to have to work a bit harder in your lessons.”

“I am working!” said Harry, nettled. “You try it sometime, Snape trying to get inside your head, it’s not a bundle of laughs, you know!”

1. Example of Hermione not appreciating Harry’s humour

2. Example of Harry not liking Hermione’s “pushing him to do better”

Oooh, surprise! It’s not just Ron and Hermione that do the silent treatment to each other, Harry does it too! What a turn of events!

Hermione nodded, apparently still lost in thought. Then, quite abruptly, she said, “But you shouldn’t have seen this at all, Harry.”

“What?” he said, taken aback.

“You’re supposed to be learning how to close your mind to this sort of thing,” said Hermione, suddenly stern.

“I know I am,” said Harry. “But —”

“Well, I think we should just try and forget what you saw,” said Hermione firmly. “And you ought to put in a bit more effort on your Occlumency from now on.”

Harry was so angry with her that he did not talk to her for the rest of the day, which proved to be another bad one.

Ah, lying, avoiding the subject, refusing to consider her opinion... how harmonious. *gigglesnort*

“But why haven’t you got Occlumency lessons anymore?” said Hermione, frowning.

“I’ve told you,” Harry muttered. “Snape reckons I can carry on by myself now I’ve got the basics...”

“So you’ve stopped having funny dreams?” said Hermione skeptically.

“Pretty much,” said Harry, not looking at her.

“Well, I don’t think Snape should stop until you’re absolutely sure you can control them!” said Hermione indignantly. “Harry, I think you should go back to him and ask —”

“No,” said Harry forcefully. “Just drop it, Hermione, okay?”

Hmmm, funny how Harry acts more like a teenager trying to sneak out of bed on Mama Ron and Hermione’s watch rather than as “Hermione’s perfect flawless soulmate uwu”!

He had ended up saying to them truthfully that Sirius wanted Harry to resume Occlumency lessons. He had been regretting this ever since; Hermione would not let the subject drop and kept reverting to it when Harry least expected it.

“You can’t tell me you’ve stopped having funny dreams,” Hermione said now, “because Ron told me last night you were muttering in your sleep again...”

Harry threw Ron a furious look. Ron had the grace to look ashamed of himself.

Yes, she toooootally brings out “the best” of him... the best of all he’s learned at the Dursleys, which is avoidance, lying, deceiving... ha ha ha ha ha... oh, you guys, you’re so desperate, it’s almost cute. But then I remember that you keep bashing Ron and I stop feeling merciful.

“You are trying to block your mind, aren’t you?” said Hermione, looking beadily at Harry. “You are keeping going with your Occlumency?”

“Of course I am,” said Harry, trying to sound as though this ques-tion was insulting, but not quite meeting her eye. The truth was that he was so intensely curious about what was hidden in that room full of dusty orbs that he was quite keen for the dreams to continue.

Oh yes, he’s totally motivated to do better. He’s so motivated in fact he’s going to completely ignore her. And guess how that first date ends? With Sirius’ death. What a harmonious pairing.

“But Harry, you’ve just said it,” said Hermione fiercely. “Dumbledore wanted you to learn to shut these things out of your mind, if you’d done Occlumency properly you’d never have seen this —”

“IF YOU THINK I’M JUST GOING TO ACT LIKE I HAVEN’T SEEN —”

“Sirius told you there was nothing more important than you learn-ing to close your mind!”

“WELL, I EXPECT HE’D SAY SOMETHING DIFFERENT IF HE KNEW WHAT I’D JUST —”

And and and!! Hohohoho I’m not done!! Let me show you, I have SO MUCH to show you!!

As early as Goblet of Fire... Ah, and don’t say that this is “evil Ron’s evil influence of evilness :(” because Ron literally is harder-working than Harry in possibly every way because Ron doesn’t have the luxury of being the protagonist to promote him to, say, youngest Seeker in a century. Yeah, Ron’s not a Mary Sue like that. But I digress.

"It's Christmas, Hermione," said Harry lazily; he was rereading Flying with the Cannons for the tenth time in an armchair near the fire.

Hermione looked severely over at him too. "I'd have thought you'd be doing something constructive, Harry, even if you don't want to learn your antidotes!"

"Like what?" Harry said as he watched Joey Jenkins of the Cannons belt a Bludger toward a Ballycastle Bats Chaser.

"That egg!" Hermione hissed.

"Come on, Hermione, I've got till February the twenty-fourth," Harry said.

He had put the golden egg upstairs in his trunk and hadn't opened it since the celebration party after the first task. There were still two and a half months to go until he needed to know what all the screechy wailing meant, after all.

"I just thought you'd want to take advantage of the common room being quiet," she said. "Really get to work on that egg."

"Oh I - I reckon I've got a pretty good idea what it's about now," Harry lied.

"Have you really?" said Hermione, looking impressed. "Well done!"

Harry’s insides gave a guilty squirm, but he ignored them. He still had five weeks to work out that egg clue, after all, and that was ages... whereas if he went into Hogsmeade, he might run into Hagrid, and get a chance to persuade him to come back.

... but you know what makes Harry change his mind about lying about the egg? Or rather, who?

So you may argue that oh là là, Harry feels guilty for lying to his great soulmate Hermoanie and waah isn’t it so romantic...

Even though Harry can and does acknowledge that Hermione means well… it’s not enough for him. He will lie, avoid her, and go behind her back, like a child would with their parent, and even though he may feel guilty about it, it’s not enough to deter him.

Hagrid's miserable face broke into a wide, watery smile.

"Tha's my boy. . . you show 'em, Harry, you show 'em. Beat 'em all."

Lying to Hagrid wasn't quite like lying to anyone else. Harry went back to the castle later that afternoon with Ron and Hermione, unable to banish the image of the happy expression on Hagrid's whiskery face as he had imagined Harry winning the tournament. The incomprehensible egg weighed more heavily than ever on Harrys conscience that evening, and by the time he had got into bed, he had made up his mind - it was time to shelve his pride and see if Cedric's hint was worth anything.

And of course Half-Blood Prince, and if you try to tell me “buuutt hermoanie was ooc :((((” you can put a cactus up your rear you coward.

Welp. Not Ron, not Hermione. Hagrid.

Welcome to the world, Ha... Hagry? Harrid? Oh whatever. Here you go, Hagrid brings the best out of Harry, Harry feels more guilt at the thought of lying to Hagrid than anyone else. OTP.

She’s certainly not encouraging Harry to try new stuff. How is that supposed to help him improve? How is that supposed to make him do better?

“How are you doing that?” demanded Hermione, who was redfaced and whose hair was growing bushier and bushier in the fumes from her cauldron; her potion was still resolutely purple.

“Add a clockwise stir—”

“No, no, the book says counterclockwise!” she snapped.

Harry shrugged and continued what he was doing.

For or the rest of the week’s Potions lessons Harry continued to follow the Half-Blood Prince’s instructions wherever they deviated from Libatius Borage’s, with the result that by their fourth lesson Slughorn was raving about Harry’s abilities, saying that he had rarely taught anyone so talented. Neither Ron nor Hermione was delighted by this. Although Harry had offered to share his book with both of them, Ron had more difficulty deciphering the handwriting than Harry did, and could not keep asking Harry to read aloud or it might look suspicious. Hermione, meanwhile, was resolutely plowing on with what she called the “official” instructions, but becoming increasingly bad-tempered as they yielded poorer results than the Prince’s.

In fact

(dyslexic!Ron dyslexic!Ron dyslexic!Ron)

Well isn’t that fun? Harry is being the “best” at something... and Hermione doesn’t like it.

Incredibly, and to Hermione’s increasing resentment, Harry’s best subject had suddenly become Potions, thanks to the Half-Blood Prince.

she seems

The only person who did not find these charms amusing was Hermione, who maintained a rigidly disapproving expression throughout and refused to talk at all if Harry had used the Muffliato spell on anyone in the vicinity.

to hate

Hermione's expression could not have been any smugger; she had loathed being out-performed in every Potions class. She was now decanting the mysteriously separated ingredients of her poison into ten different crystal phials. More to avoid watching this irritating sight than anything else, Harry bent over the Half-Blood Prince's book and turned a few pages with unnecessary force.

that Harry is doing great.

(Oh look. Harry is irritated at the mere sight of Hermione. Well that’s definitely a hint they should marry!!! /s)

“Are you telling me,” said Hermione, “that you're going to go back—?”

“And get the book? Yeah, I am,” said Harry forcefully. "Listen, without the Prince I'd never have won the Felix Felicis. I'd never have known how to save Ron from poisoning, I'd never have—”

“—got a reputation for Potions brilliance you don't deserve,” said Hermione nastily.

And then let’s remember Hermione still nattering about Occlumency through Deathly Hallows, or how she breaks Harry’s wand and Harry is “desiring nothing more than to get away from her”, and all that... ah but of course you won’t ever see that in all your “Harmony�� analyses, because there’s no way to spin that positively... ha ha ha...

Accomplishing his mission from Dumbledore? Saving Ron’s life? Nah, Hermione is more concerned with one thing: having her top spot back.

*slow clap* Friend. Of. The. Year. Why does anyone like this character again? Selfish brat.

he reminds her that there are more important things than books and cleverness

You have again stolen Ron’s qualities to pretend they’re Harry’s/Hermione’s.

And here they come... the receipts... all the receipts...

This happens right during the Firebolt fight. It’s still Ron who cares for Hermione, even though he’s angry with her, while Harry is like “oh ok but gotta finish Snape’s essay tho”. Priorities.

“How’s she doing it?” Ron muttered to Harry one evening as Harry sat finishing a nasty essay on Undetectable Poisons for Snape. Harry looked up. Hermione was barely visible behind a tottering pile of books.

“Doing what?”

“Getting to all her classes!” Ron said. “I heard her talking to Professor Vector, that Arithmancy witch, this morning. They were going on about yesterday’s lesson, but Hermione can’t’ve been there, because she was with us in Care of Magical Creatures! And Ernie McMillan told me she’s never missed a Muggle Studies class, but half of them are at the same time as Divination, and she’s never missed one of them either!”

Harry didn’t have time to fathom the mystery of Hermione’s impossible schedule at the moment; he really needed to get on with Snape’s essay. Two seconds later, however, he was interrupted again, this time by Wood. - Prisoner of Azkaban

It’s Ron who understands that Hermione is driving herself mad. Ron, not Harry. Bye, can’t hear you over the canon facts.

“I don’t believe it!” Hermione wailed. “Was Professor Flitwick angry? Oh, it was Malfoy, I was thinking about him and I lost track of things!”

“You know what, Hermione?” said Ron, looking down at the enormous Arithmancy book Hermione had been using as a pillow. “I reckon you’re cracking up. You’re trying to do too much.”

“No, I’m not!” said Hermione, brushing her hair out of her eyes and staring hopelessly around for her bag. “I just made a mistake, that’s all! I’d better go and see Professor Flitwick and say sorry... I’ll see you in Divination!” - Prisoner of Azkaban

Later on...

Hermione looked down at her hardly touched plate of food, then put her knife and fork down upon it and pushed it away from her.

"Oh c'mon, 'Er-my-knee," said Ron, accidentally spraying Harry with bits of Yorkshire pudding. "Oops - sorry, 'Arry -" He swallowed. "You won't get them sick leave by starving yourself!"

"Slave labor," said Hermione, breathing hard through her nose. "That's what made this dinner. Slave labor."

And she refused to eat another bite.

[…]

"Treacle tart, Hermione!" said Ron, deliberately wafting its smell toward her. "Spotted dick, look! Chocolate gateau!"

But Hermione gave him a look so reminiscent of Professor McGonagall that he gave up. - Goblet of Fire, chapter 12

Dinner was a subdued affair that night. Harry and Ron did not talk much, but ate with gusto, having studied hard all day. Hermione, on the other hand, kept putting down her knife and fork and diving under the table for her bag, from which she would seize a book to check some fact or figure. Ron was just telling her that she ought to eat a decent meal or she would not sleep that night, when her fork slid from her limp fingers and landed with a loud tinkle on her plate. - Order of the Phoenix, chapter 31

Hmm, now it looks to me that Harry is mostly oblivious to Hermione and it’s Ron who’s taking care of her. But hey, “hArMoAnY” I guess!

Ron's humour gets on Hermione's nerves

Fake news, it’s actually Harry’s humour that Hermione doesn’t like.

Really, just read this essay, written by someone who actually read the books without cherry-picking them, it should show you how blatanly wrong you are.

her cleverness does the same to him.

*deep breath*

WHY YOU ALWAYS LYIIIIIIN, WHY THE FUCK YOU LYIIIIIIN, OH MY GOD STOP FUCKIN LYING

Again, a comprehensive list of BOOK QUOTES because I’ve dedicated too much time to proving you wrong: https://www.quora.com/How-many-times-has-Ron-Weasley-supported-Hermione-and-told-her-how-amazing-and-talented-she-is/answer/Issy-Dodds

Anyway Anon...

Your ‘Harmony’ is built on a pile of lies, blatant Ron Weasley erasure and a creepy fetishistic obsession with making a teenage girl look like she’s the ideal life partner for a guy who blatantly does NOT want her to be his life partner. Yall have issues.

#vivi answers #ask #anti harmony #harry potter #hermione granger #ron weasley #not just the clown but the whole circus #hp meta

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sanktnikolais · 3 years

Text

Invisible String

The three major events of Zoya's life that Nikolai has had glimpses of, and he feels her emotions all the way to his side of the invisible string connecting them.

or that zoyalai psychic/emotional connection au

@grishaverseonline mission 12: favourite character - nikolai lantsov

A/N: guess who’s posting a new content after months of hiding? HAHAHA. This was supposed to be posted yesterday for my birthday but I wasn’t able to finish early. So have this late birthday treat from me. ;-;

Warning tho, contains some RoW spoilers, and contains the alternate version (Am’s version LMAO) of the garden scene.

Word count: 5174

They said that it would take a lot for one to get accustomed to the pain that came with losses.

Nikolai never realized he had lost so much until he had everything within his reach.

He didn’t know it was already a loss when his mother had decided to be unfaithful to the King of Ravka and bore an illegitimate child with a Fjerdan merchant. He didn’t know it was already a loss when he had met a certain brown-haired boy in one of his private classes, not knowing that he would be the reason why that same boy would be drafted early for the war that would take his life later on. He didn’t know it was already a loss when he still tried to seek the approval of the older brother that never wanted him, and that would end up in him developing a cunning personality to gain acceptance from everyone around him. He didn’t know it was already a loss when he dropped the guillotine that would imply that his father was guilty of such a heinous crime, exiling both him and his queen to a faraway place, never to set foot on the country they had sworn to protect yet failed in every possible way.

It only came to him, when he was finally sitting on the throne and overseeing a broken country, that he hadn’t really gained anything along the way. Only nightmares that weighed on his shoulders and kept him awake at night, and the black scars that were just as dark as the blood of every life lost in the war coating his hands.

And pain.

Both the ones he had known and acknowledged, and the sudden, unexplainable bursts of physical or emotional pain that came to him in the most random times throughout his life.

Nikolai didn’t know when it started. Being a young royalty that grew up doing everything in his own cunning way had taught him to mask the pain into something less hurting. Whether it was telling horrible jokes or making something more complicated by talking too much—it was his way to beat around the bush and away from the impending truth, thinking that if he ignored it long enough, he would forget it.

It worked, somehow, but it only pent up the emotions in his heart that were bound to explode later on.

Even though that fact was clear to him, it still wasn't enough to justify his first, sudden outburst when he was twelve.

It was quite a normal day—he had another hour with the extra reading on chemistry and Kaelish history he had requested from his tutors, and he was stuck in the library until the late hours of the afternoon. But the truth behind it, however, was to have time to sneak in and out of the palace to visit Dominik and his family in the countryside.

The whole day of learning to braid Dominik's sisters' hair had ended happily, with Nikolai able to finish tying all of them, albeit resulting in tangles that would need more attention to fix later.

You'll get used to it, Dominik had mused with a light laugh. I didn't learn this in just one day.

Nikolai thought of them on his way home, seeing how their smiles seemed to reach their eyes when they laughed around each other, something he never saw or felt in the Grand Palace. An unwanted pricking stung his eyes, and he immediately reached up to wipe the tears away. It was foolish to be longing for something insignificant when he already had everything he needed. He could just ask anything from his servants and tutors, and they would appease his request without question. So why was he suddenly—

His throat clogged up with muffled sobs, the sickening feeling of both anger and sadness constricting his heart as if there was a fist was trying to crush it. The next thing he knew, he was collapsing on the palace gardens, and the tears were endless.

The wind picked up around him, followed by the sound of thunder. But they fell deaf in his ears as the wails tore from his throat.

Then it happened. The dreadful images of a ruined church and a horrified expression from the face of an old man flashed before his eyes, along with the searing feeling of anger directed to him.

But then the images faded as fast as they had come, and there was the sudden hollow feeling in his chest.

Palace guards found him in the same spot a few hours later, curled into a fetal position as if to shield his body from harm. The King had demanded he explain what had happened, and knowing their judgment to anything Nikolai had ever done and said made him lie. He told them he had hurt himself when he tripped and fell in the gardens, and they easily believed it as it was his own foolishness. There was no way they would believe him even if he tried to tell the truth.

He had been sent to a Healer right after that to check for other injuries, even when he knew to himself there wasn't any.

Except for the sudden hollowness in his heart that could never be filled.

***

The next one didn't happen until three years later, when Nikolai was fifteen.

He would never know what had given him away, but years of sneaking back and forth in the palace made him careless, and it was only a matter of time before Vasily, his ever cruel brother, knew about it.

"You're just turning sixteen," Vasily said with a sneer. "But you're already tumbling peasant girls. You're no better than father."

Fear gripped at his mind almost instantly when he realized that this mistake would befall on Dominik. Nikolai knew too well how commoners who had done something wrong would be punished by being barred from the palace in disgrace, sending them back to their families with nothing else but their clothes and themselves.

Nikolai had begged Vasily to hold his tongue, to keep a secret for him. But if there was one thing he knew about his older brother, it was that Vasily never cared about him.

So why would Vasily care about some boy with no name?

"Do you understand what you have done?" Nikolai asked furiously the next morning when he had cornered Vasily in the lapis drawing room.

Vasily merely shrugged. “Your friend won’t get to study with his betters, and you won’t get to keep rambling in the fields like a commoner. I’ve done you both a favor.”

“His family will lose their stipend. They may not be able to feed themselves without it.” His rage was boiling into something much worse, and he could feel it coursing through his veins. But he still held back. It was his weakness, he realized, that he didn’t have the heart to lash out his anger on someone close to him, no matter how cruel they had treated him. “Dominik won’t be exempt from the draft next year.”

“Good. The crown needs soldiers,” said Vasily. Then he scoffed, giving Nikolai a once-over. “Maybe he’ll learn his place.”

Nikolai had expected his anger to explode, all the pent-up emotions to finally be let go. But he felt disappointed instead, as if he had lost something important. It took him a second to realize that he had lost his respect and admiration for his older brother.

For years, he thought that Vasily was better than their father. Whereas their father sat slouched on the throne and shoulders hunched when he stood, Vasily was the exact opposite of him. He always stood tall, chin held up high. He was the spitting image of what Nikolai had imagined a royal should be.

But Nikolai had never been ashamed to admit that he was so wrong.

"You should be ashamed," said Nikolai quietly.

But Vasily only jabbed a finger to Nikolai’s chest. “You do not tell me what I should or shouldn’t do, Sobachka," he snarled, his voice laced with poison, the same one that Nikolai almost drank when Vasily had mixed a droplet of it into Nikolai's cup. "I will be a king, and you will always be Nikolai Nothing.”

Then it happened again, the strange images appearing before his eyes. Where Nikolai expected it to be the same ones he saw four years ago, they were different this time.

The drawing room morphed into a rough terrain full of snow, and an enormous white tiger had replaced the spot where his brother was in front of him, its teeth bared and hind legs laid back to pounce.

It was then he felt the sudden feeling to protect himself, his survival instincts kicking in, and he did just that. The images faded, his surroundings fading back to the drawing room.

With a strength that came from nights spent roughhousing with peasants and workers alike in some shady fight club in Os Alta's outskirts, Nikolai snatched his brother's finger that was on his chest and twisted hard.

Vasily fell to the ground with a yelp. He looked impossibly small. A satisfying feeling settled itself in Nikolai's chest. It was most likely the worst he had seen his brother, and if Nikolai had only known that his older brother was nothing more than a facade to hide such a vile and weak face underneath, he wouldn't have wasted his whole life trying to be like Vasily.

"A king never kneels, brother," Nikolai hissed before he left his brother's prone form on the ground.

He was sure that Vasily wouldn't let him forget what he had done to him.

But the next time his brother would try to come for him, Nikolai would be ready.

***

The worst one happened almost five years later.

He was finally fulfilling his dream as a privateer in the seas, and the name Sturmhond was born right in the middle of the True Sea, never to be forgotten by all sailors and pirates as the years would go on.

It was supposed to be a diplomatic meeting with the Fjerdan traders that came from Djerholm. They were set to talk about the territories, with Fjerda claiming that they didn’t allow enemy ships to sail freely at the northern True Sea without permits unless they wanted their ships obliterated by Fjerda. Nikolai had wanted to laugh when he saw the ship; it was too enormous and too sturdy-looking to be of trading purposes only. He assumed that it had to be a warship since its captain and crew were too confident to stop the Volkvolny. No one ever dared to go against the Volkvolny —the black sails that had guided them for years were already a familiar sight to all the sailors and pirates. Though it was smaller than any warships in the seas, it could still go on par with ships twice as big as it, and it had sunk numerous vessels and gotten away unscathed.

These Fjerdan ‘traders’ should have known better than to get in the Volkvolny’s way.

True enough, when Nikolai had stepped into the enemy ship to negotiate the terms, he immediately noticed the heavy artillery carelessly covered by a rag on the main deck. They had even attempted to blend it in among the cargo crates scattered on the floor, but the canons were obvious underneath the thin material covering them. He let out a breath. He suddenly wasn’t sure if going here with only his two Shu mercenary turned personal guards was ideal. At least twenty rough-looking men were surrounding them, and their captain, Captain Hjar, was only a bit shorter than Tolya, and yet he still looked impossibly tall than all of them. His hair had been cropped close to his skin, exposing the lined scar that ran from his temple to the spot behind his ear.

Tamar had voiced out her concerns then, telling him that something was not right, and Nikolai acknowledged it greatly. The Shu mercenary’s gut instincts already saved their lives countless times before, and he wasn’t going to ignore that. But he knew the Fjerdan crew’s taste for dominance. He wasn’t just going to let these men do as they please to the travelers that would pass their private routes.

He could only hope that this risky meeting they were doing would turn in their favor.

And yet as soon as they stood in front of Captain Hjar and his men, the wooden bridge that connected the two ships was cut off, causing shouts of protest from his crew back in his ship.

“Oh, wow," said Nikolai with mocking surprise. Tolya and Tamar tensed behind him, their hands already poised on the weapons strapped to their belts. He turned back to Hjar. "We haven't even started the meeting yet."

Captain Hjar only smirked. "Better not waste your time, little wolf," he said, his voice scratchy as if he had been shouting his whole life. "Why try to prolong this when it would still end in the same result?"

�� "Lay down your sword, Hjar."

"These men would be making bread from the bone and skin of skinny Ravkan boys tonight, little wolf. And I can assume your ship has plenty of valuables, aye? I cannot promise not to hurt your men," he said, and his men laughed together with him. When he stopped, his cold eyes held a dangerous glint as he stared at the twins behind Nikolai. "And it'd be fun to have some nice, warm campfire with those two Grisha of yours."

Something in Nikolai's mind had quieted, shutting out anything logical from coming into his head. The thoughts halted. His rage slowly took over like a monster finally overwhelming its prey. He felt numb and empty, and he realized that the rage was focused on the Fjerdan captain.

Then for the third time in his life, it happened again. Everything else faded around him and threw him under the landscape of complete darkness. It was like he had been thrown into the Fold. After a moment, it blurred and shifted to another—a small, empty shop in some town he couldn't recognize where. Then it shifted again, and this time, it showed him a man who was on his knees, clawing at his throat as if he were struggling to breathe.

Nikolai held onto those images in vain, so he could make sense of them earlier on. But the rage inside him had him forgetting them in a snap, and all he could feel was anger. Anger towards everything.

With that, his body relaxed, and he regarded Hjar with a calm tone. These men needed to know their places. "Maybe you're right about that, Hjar," he asked, and he saw the Fjerdan captain acknowledge him with mocking curiosity. "But it wouldn't be my men who would be butchered today."

He saw the shift of expression from the Fjerdan captain's face, and Nikolai pounced with his own sword.

The fight hadn't even lasted for a minute. Hjar's men had completely underestimated the mercenary twins by just being Grisha, but they were just as deadly as any well-trained assassins. Soon enough, Nikolai’s crew had the Fjerdans tied up and shoved them down their knees, with Hjar at Nikolai’s mercy. But he felt nothing at all.

"You want to know something, captain?" asked Nikolai mildly as he went behind the burly man and held up his tied hands on his back. Hjar gave a pained grunt. Then Nikolai leaned down near the man's ear. "Foolish old captains aren't fit meat for Ravkan men."

Then he took out his knife and cut the Fjerdan captain's fingers.

Nikolai barely heard the man's screams or even felt the blood gushing out from the wounds. He just felt numb all over. If his crew noticed the sudden change in his behavior, they didn't voice it out. Only the twins were the ones who showed a bewildered reaction as Nikolai held the decapitated fingers in his bloodied hands.

He threw them over his crew's guard hound dog at the side. "Eat up, Razjen," he said. "I'm pretty sure the dogs would appreciate that kind of meat given to them."

That same night, he and his Volkvolny crew had drunk and eaten to their guts' limits from the spoils they had divvied up from the Fjerdan trader ship. From the night until the earliest hours of dawn, they had laughed, celebrated, and sung until their throats were raw and their bellies full.

But when the night ended and Nikolai had retreated into the confines of the captain's quarters, he had thrown up everything he had eaten until tears stung his eyes. He had expected them to stop when he was done, but it only worsened as sobs and wails tore from his lips again, just like it had almost a decade ago, when he had collapsed in the palace gardens and cried himself out for a reason he had never known.

And as the hours passed and night broke into dawn, the tears had finally stopped. Nikolai fell asleep, but the hole that had made its way to his heart from the first time he felt the sudden shift in his emotions now only felt deeper than before.

***

Nikolai blinked as he felt the heavy tug in his heart again. It was much more painful than before as if whatever at the other end of the string wanted him to hurt on purpose, and he was left to choose whether to still follow her in or not.

The funeral had ended hours ago but he could still feel the heaviness and gloom lingering in the air. He wanted to visit Genya in her quarters for the night, just to extend whatever he could offer her for the meantime. But he decided against it when he rounded the corner leading to the Tailor’s chambers, and that’s when he saw Zoya coming out from the door. She had lingered outside for a moment, her hand clutching at the handle as if to hold herself upright. If he looked harder, he was sure it really was the reason as he saw her shoulders shaking and her head was bowed down, something his general never did.

A searing pain in his chest made him wince, the hurting so painful it felt like he had just been burned by a branding iron. The want—the need—to reach out for her was the only thing he had wanted to do at that moment. But he willed the thought away, remembering how the things were between them.

They did not look to each other for comfort, and he knew the last thing Zoya would want was for him to give her his sympathies. It had been their unspoken agreement ever since Ravka was put on their shoulders. There was no time for sentiments, they would only spiral them down much worse.

After another minute of silence, Zoya had quietly left, her form completely blending in with the gloominess that surrounded the palace walls. Nikolai decided to follow her out then, and it led him to now, following her through the dark, narrow walkway that led into someplace he wasn’t sure of. Tangles of vines pricked at his skin as he walked further. Eventually, he reached the other end of the path, and the sight of the place astonished him.

Flowers and shrubs of every variety were lined up in the soil beds, overwhelming the ground in different colors. The open ceiling of the area had allowed frost and snow to fall over the plants, and it coated the leaves and petals alike. It looked almost like a small world of only peace and serenity, and yet it felt like a garden of sadness, with grief dripping on every plant and bleeding through the four walls that surrounded it.

Nikolai spotted Zoya in the middle of the dim garden, her back turned to him as she looked around. Snow was starting to fall, and it caught in the dark waves of her hair. Under the moonlight, she was glowing, a saint watching over the people. But behind the light that masked her real face, something was wrong. What once was her perfect stance and chin held high, she was now hunched, bent down, as if she were hiding from the world.

Then he felt it again, the sharp and painful tug in his chest. But this time, it felt different. This time, it was leading in a direction.

And it was leading towards her.

Nikolai blinked, his eyes widening a fraction. Could it be—

"I'm running out of room," she said, her voice barely a quivering whisper.

Had she known he was following her all along?

"Do you—" Nikolai shook his head, unsure of what to say. He tried again. "You tend to this place?"

Zoya was silent for a moment. Her shoulders had gone stiff the same way she was poised for battle. But Nikolai had merely asked a question, and he wondered if it was prying enough to cause that reaction from her.

"I needed somewhere to go to distract myself, and this has always been the place my feet would lead me to," she said quietly. "It was an old vegetable garden. I found it years ago, back when—" Her voice broke into a muffled cry, and yet there were no tears, like she refused to let them fall. She shook her head, her hands lifting as if to brag about the wonderful bunch of plants around her. But the gesture looked so helpless, so lost, and she let her arms fall back limply to her sides. Then in a broken whisper, she repeated, "I'm running out of room."

Nikolai's eyebrows drew tight in concern. He took a step towards her, and stopped almost immediately. It felt like he was treading across a dangerous line that neither of them ever had the guts to cross. Things were already too complicated, whether it’s about Ravka or about them, and he didn’t want to make things worse. But he refused to leave her on her own. Not like this.

Slowly, he made his way towards her, feeling the tug become stronger and stronger until he stopped at her side. He felt the cold seep through his clothes, harsh and biting like Zoya’s daily demeanor. But tonight, there was only grief and sadness, and it made everything even colder.

There was a long silence between them as he waited for Zoya to speak. Or if she wanted to speak. He wasn’t going to force anything from her. It was already a painful day for them to get through, and he wouldn’t add to the burden they were all carrying on their shoulders. He was grateful for the silence either way.

But when Zoya spoke later, her voice was quiet, lacking the usual sharpness it always had. “I plant something new for every Grisha lost,” she started. And there it was again, the heavy feeling in Nikolai’s chest that weighed down on him and made him struggle to breathe. It took all of Nikolai not to reach out for her. Then she lifted her hand and started pointing to the plants. “Heartleaf for Marie. Yew for Sergei. Red Sentinel for Fedyor. Even Ivan has a place. He was once a soldier like us too, before the Darkling corrupted him.” She touched her fingers to a frozen stalk near the edge of the soil bed. “This was for Harshaw, and they will blossom bright orange in the summer, just as bright as his ridiculous hair.”

Nikolai felt a small smile twitch on his lips. There was an obvious jest in her tone, but her words were sad, still haunted by the past war they could never be free of. He reached for the plant, letting his fingers touch its leaves delicately. He dusted off the frost from the leaves’ surface, and it almost looked as new as ever. The Inferni had once fought beside him in the mountains and with Alina and the others in the Fold, proving his loyalty up until the very end. It was unfortunate that he didn’t get to see past the war as it had already taken his life.

“These Dahlias were for Nina when I thought she’d been captured and killed by the Fjerdans,” Zoya continued, her hands reaching out to the flowers next to Harshaw’s. “They bloom with the most ridiculous red flowers in the summer. They’re the size of dinner plates.” Then as steady as her hands were when she first reached out to touch them, they began to tremble badly. “This was the last one I vowed that I would plant. I kept promising myself over and over and over. But they only kept increasing. There was no end. And now David—” She stopped abruptly, her throat clogging up with a quiet sob. “I’m running out of room, Nikolai.”

A tear escaped Nikolai’s eye, and he quickly wiped it away. He didn’t know why he did that. Earlier in the funeral, he didn't shed a single tear when he gave the eulogy, only the prickling pain that gave the first signs of tears. But they didn’t fall. Guilt had been clawing at him ever since, thinking that he hadn’t cared enough to show that he was mourning the loss of an old friend. It was only reasonable to cry; they were all grieving, after all. So why still hide, when there was no one else to see him?

Then he realized it was what he had been used to. This was what they were taught. You don’t let yourself wallow in sadness—you get back up and continue on. No matter how heavy the weight on your shoulders was.

Soldiers did not cry. Princes did not weep. And kings should never get fazed by such sentiments and emotions.

But what if it was the only thing left to do?

Nikolai glanced at Zoya, seeing tears staining her cheeks as well. She wiped at them hastily and tried her best to blink them away. He heard her draw in a shuddering breath.

“They will continue to thrive and bloom as long as they get taken care of,” said Zoya, her fingers curling around a stalk from the dahlias. “But what if they don’t? What if they stopped even as I tend to them everyday?”

He immediately understood the deeper meaning behind her words. Every life lost under her watch; every Grisha blood staining her hands. It was the weight on her shoulders she had always carried, a weight that existed ever since she had been a soldier, up until now that she was their general.

If he could only take all the burden from her chest and carry it along with his own, he would have done it. But that wasn’t how it worked. They were all bound to have their own burdens—it would only be a matter of difference with the people around them that would help them get back up on their feet whenever they get too tired from carrying it all.

Nikolai let out a long breath, his gaze landing on the twisting gray branches that ran along the perimeter of the garden. He recognized it right away. “Thorn wood,” he murmured. He felt Zoya’s confusion even before she could voice it out, so he continued speaking. “It grows around, protecting everything within these walls, stronger than anything else in the garden, weathering every season. No matter the winter it endures, it still persists, all prickles and thorns and spines anger just to keep protecting everything here.” Then he turned to her, looking down at the bright and never-ending flames behind her eyes. He gave her a lopsided smile. “Those thorns, they remind me of you. Prickly and sharp, just like you are. But its purpose was to protect all these flowers and plants, like the way you protect our people.”

Zoya almost looked like she was on the brink of breaking, but her questions persisted. “And what if the winter is just too long and hard? What if it can’t continue protecting them all?”

He was afraid to reach for her, but he did it anyway. He took her gloved hand in his, and when he expected her to pull away, she didn’t. Instead she folded into him like a flower closing its petals at nightfall. “Then it would still be there, watching over all the flowers and plants, giving them the sense of protection, keeping them strong until the summer comes, even as its life withers away.” He gave her hand a gentle squeeze, a laugh escaping his lips. “I do hope I made sense with all that blabbering.”

This earned a huff from his general. “Who says you ever did?” she said, but he felt her hand squeeze his back, gratitude evident even from that smallest of gestures. That was when tears fell from her eyes again, and Nikolai felt some of his own as well.

Trusting what his gut told him to do, he wrapped his arm around her.

And in the same exact moment, Nikolai didn’t feel the painful tug in his chest anymore. It was as if he had undone all the tangles and knots between, and he could finally pass through the thread without difficulties.

Zoya seemed to hesitate for a moment, and then with a soft breath, she let herself lean against him. Zoya the deadly. Zoya the ferocious. The weight of her against him felt like benediction, the long lost piece from the puzzle that he had been trying to figure out for years. For the first time in his short life, he felt at peace. He had been strong for his country, his soldiers, his friends. It meant something entirely different to be strong for her.

When he thought that they did not look at each other for comfort, he had just been understanding it quite differently. No, they gave each other comfort in their own way—whether it was through sharp wits and harsh words that kept their will stronger, or even just through knowing looks and long silences. It was their way to tell each other that they were always there to keep each other marching on their feet, and pull each other from the darkness they were both continuously fighting their way out of.

There would still be a lot of problems to face, obstacles to get past with, lives to be lost. But they would be alright. They still had each other to get through everything, and it was enough.

Together.

And that’s how it would be from then on until the very end.

***

He used to believe that the other end of the string was just like any other end, blunt and empty. Not once did he ever think that he could be wrong.

Now, Nikolai knew one thing. It would always lead towards her.

#zoyalai #zoya nazyalensky #nikolai lantsov #king of scars #my writing #hHNNNNGGGG #guess who came back to post some shitty mess #HALJKHASDFLJAS #the canon events in their childhood are so close to their ages so it's quite fun to make these parallels #and it's sad sad #;-;#i hope i did justice with the garden scene rewrite/alternate version #tiff came up with this idea some time ago and i only finished it today T-T #everyone go support tiff and her galaxy brain plz #no that is not a request #it's now time to disappear again for another few months HAHAH

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katsulia · 4 years

Text

He offends you - part2

featuring : Atsumu, Kageyama

TW : angst, weight insecurity

You can find part 1 here

a/n : sorry for the long wait ! requests are still open

Atsumu

Not surprisingly Atsumu had got up early the next morning without any particular attention for you. Your state of mind hadn't improved and you had no motivation, so you spent the whole morning on the couch without paying attention to the TV programs. As if that wasn't enough, a message from Osamu came to remind you of the evening before.

Osamu

How are the Onigiris I had added some that aren't on the market yet, and I would have liked your opinion? (Atsumu's is still shitty)

In front of the little enthusiasm of Atsumu you hadn't had the spirit to eat what his twin had prepared. At least it will avoid making lunch and that's good because it was the last thing you wanted to do.

You

Sorry Osamu! We didn't have the pleasure of tasting them, he was too tired! I'll give you my best opinion in a little while

Osamu

Never mind, let's do it at his next game! I've got a booth, and I could pick you up! Can't wait to see you, (not him tho) !

The match or the only thing that Atsumu was preoccupied with at the moment but that had slipped your mind. Yet you were the kind of person who never missed his games and always wore his jersey when you went there to be the best of his supporters. Today you weren't even sure you wanted to go, or even if you were welcome. If he considered you too clingy and preferred to avoid you, he probably didn't want to have to face you there. Volleyball is what he loves above all else, there was no point in tainting his bubble of happiness and it's better to let him enjoy it with his teammates. Just the thought of it made your heart tighten in your chest. Because what you loved most about him was seeing him happy on the field. If giving him space made him better able to handle your relationship then so be it.

Atsumu came home earlier than the day before, he knew that there was no point in staying late when the game was tomorrow. Once again he threw his gym bag into the hallway before heading to the bathroom. You hadn't reacted, you had to stay back, that's what he wanted. However, when he came back into the living room, his hair still wet and only in his underpants, he sat down next to you on the sofa.

"The bastard Samu didn't stop pissing me off because I didn't give us a shot at his latest recipes. Should we do it tonight and tell him how bad it is? "His way of talking was so caustic with that notorious smirk on his face. You just nodded your head without much effort. He frowned at your reaction, or rather your lack of reaction.

"Bad day? "His question was sincere, but the truth is that it was a pretty bad evening, bad night and bad day because of him and he didn't seem to realize it. He was staring at you a little worried while your eyes avoided his, preferring the weather report.

"Yo babe you can tell me everything, I can't risk my lucky charm being in a bad mood tomorrow. "His tone was still playful but that didn't make you want to talk to him either, which made him want to get close to you and put his arms around your waist.

"STOP! Let go of me." Your sudden outburst caught him by surprise and he let you get away from him. But the little voice in your head was just reminding you that only yesterday you were cligny in his eyes even though inside your heart was beating faster just at the sensation of that little touch.

"What's up? Seriously, tell me what's wrong?" He was completely genuine and had given up being a tease. Reluctantly he kept his hands to himself so he wouldn't offend you any more.

"I'm a cligny and that's why you just ignored me. I promise I just wanted you to relax because you're stressed out. I don't want it to happen again so... just... uh... it's fine. "Your eyes were beaming and tears were threatening to run down. This vision was heartbreaking for Atsumu who remained silent for a long time not knowing what to do. Cligny? Oh no, he could spend days hugging you. But it all came back to him. The bath left behind, the onigiris abandoned and lying far away from you in bed. It was all his fault. A wave of guilt suddenly gnawed at him.

"I'm sorry baby. You're not cligny at all. I'm just an asshole, okay? Like, you don't deserve this at all. And you're way too good for me, I'm really sorry. I was stressed out and I made you feel like you didn't deserve my attention. "His voice for once wasn't serene, but he felt really bad. He ventured out again and tried to take you gently in his arms, and to his delight you let him.

"I am truly sorry. What I suggest we eat these famous Onigiri ? And then go to bed with each other. And tomorrow after my game, we can do whatever you want. I'll even book a day at your favorite spa, okay? That's what you deserve. I'll even stay home all week just for cuddles. "He spoke softly as he stroked your hair. You knew he was sincere and that's why you didn't answer and kept your eyes closed enjoying the pleasant feeling of his fingers on your scalp.

And as he had promised, he respected everything he had said, becoming a bit too cligny himself.

Kageyama

When you went to bed you locked yourself in the bathroom to put on your clothes to sleep. Something you never usually did, as you were never ashamed to change in front of Kageyama. He didn't really pay much attention to it, but you preferred that he avoided seeing you so vulnerable for fear that his eyes would look a little too much at the places where he didn't like your body. You waited behind the door until the light was finally turned off to go back to your room, not letting him see what was hidden under your pyjamas. You slipped into the sheets quickly while putting as much distance between you and him as possible, which would prevent him from feeling you and being repulsed by your heavy body. This too wasn't your usual behaviour, you always snuggled up to him, saying that his body was working like a permanent heater. But once again Kageyama was a little dense.

Even more surprisingly, you got up before him so that he wouldn't see you get changed and you opted for large jogging pants and a big sweater. He finally woke up and was quite stunned to see you already up and focused on your phone but didn't make any remarks. There are days like that he thought. He invited you to join him for breakfast, but to his dismay you had already had it, or at least that's what you said. The internet articles on how to lose weight and body fat were much more important and a bowl of chocolate cereal was not going to help you. When he was done he sat on the couch with you. He just wanted to enjoy the weekend with you and judging by the outfit you looked like you wanted to stay home and chill, which he didn't mind. However, you didn't lift your head off your phone and pay him any attention.

"What are you doing on your phone? "He was always so straightforward, but his curiosity itched him not understanding how you could stay away from him.

"Nothing special..." But once again your eyes stayed focused on the screen of your phone and he couldn't help but look over your shoulder. Sports programs? Why were you looking into that? He already had a coach and a whole team of nutritionists and you really didn't need to worry about him.

"Y/N you don't have to..." His life choices didn't have to affect your daily life, no matter if he had to incorporate animal proteins at lunch and fruity smoothies in the morning you didn't have to endure it. Still in your head, you did. You needed to lose weight, to build up your body. You were on two different wavelengths. He didn't push the subject any further, knowing full well that he wouldn't let you do it at the table, and he opted to put his head on your lap and let his hand caress your thighs. Immediately you took his hand off your thighs and tried to push his head away. He couldn't and shouldn't feel what was under your jogging pants.

Kageyama was more than startled. Had he done something wrong? This sudden reaction from you was unexpected and he couldn't understand why.

"Is my head too heavy for your laps? "How ironic was it, heavy was he? Whereas yesterday it was you. The words were stuck in your throat and your breathing accelerated; you were in a state of panic and didn't know what to say or how to get out of this humiliating situation. You would do anything to forget what Kageyama had said the day before when he didn't seem to remember at all. You know that he was often clueless but right away it only made you feel worse. His gaze was still fixed on you looking for the source of your discomfort in order to understand what was wrong with you. He was lost and was not used to all this, which increased his stress level. His exterior was almost imperceptible, except for the fact that his eyes were frantically scanning your body from top to bottom. It was worse, you felt embarrassed and naked under his blue pupils but still didn't dare to say anything. Inside his mind was only stirring to try to understand what was going on and already he felt guilty for not being able to assess the problem and help you. Finally the first tears came to your cheeks, which only made you feel more embarrassed, but he couldn't stay silent.

"Did I hurt you? " The tone of his voice indicated hesitation and a severe lack of confidence. He wanted to help you but felt powerless and hated himself for it. Every time you were there for him when he came back from defeat or frustration and the one time you needed him he was of no use.

"Uh... no." You, on the other hand, hated yourself for being so weak and sensitive. You had nothing to prove to him and crying for so little seemed totally stupid. Yet you couldn't help the fact that it was him and that he was always so clueless really did put a strain on your chest. Kageyama gulped down his saliva with difficulty still not knowing what to do. All of a sudden you started talking again.

"I just don't understand. If you don't like the way I am, why do you stay with me? I know you can date any girl with an athletic body like yours. "Your eyes were empty and tears kept coming out which made your voice even weaker. He still didn't understand, where did all these ideas come from? "I know I don't look like them, but you could have said long before that my body was too big for your. That's why I want to do some sport, so that you don't think I'm heavy when I lie down with you. »

And that's when he realized... He was definitely the worst boyfriend in the world: his lack of communication and his inability to express his feelings well was problematic, but he had taken it to another level. This time it was his words that hurt. He would accept a defeat at the hands of Hinata rather than this, knowing that he was the one causing the pain of his favorite person was terrible. But certainly not as awful as what you're dealing with right now, and the insecurity that it brought you.

"You're perfect. I... I think you're perfect like that. And there's nothing to change. I'm... I'm sorry. I don't think you have to change your body or your weight at all. What I said yesterday was totally inappropriate. I wasn't expecting you to join me. I was focused on my game. And I know that's no excuse! Not a valid argument at all! Just please don't listen to my nonsense. I'm the worst at it. "He couldn't find the right words to express how guilty he felt and to be able to comfort you as you did so well when it came to him. Your head rose up to face him. For a long minute you stared at each other without either of you knowing what to say. And when you cracked a tiny smile Kageyama felt himself revived and meticulously he moved closer to you, taking your hand with his thumb stroking it.

"I am the worst. "And he rushed straight into your arms, his head in the crook of your neck. He liked to feel his body against yours and wouldn't change that for anything in the world. Eventually he detached himself from you and suddenly carried you like a princess.

"Heavy? Says who? Probably some idiot. You're literally perfect. " It was already the third time he used the word 'perfect' and your heart exploded. You also felt the heat rising up to your cheeks almost like the red tint of Kageyama's. There was no need for more words and as he continued to carry you he led you to your room. In his case actions proved more than words and he intended to show you that by first gently removing your sweater. And that's how he put his stamina to the test.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu writing #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x you #atsumu imagines #atsumu x y/n #atsumu x reader #atsumu scenarios #Atsumu Miya x reader #Kageyama x reader #Kageyama x you #kageyama imagines #Kageyama Tobio x reader

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