#bothering our sick mother instead of asking me

[dubiousdisco]

BRO my mom just told me she went to check on my sister because I needed to take these 2 days off and my sister asked her if I have ever done anything for her

You know how mom's anxiety is off the roof even with the intense treatment we do at home, she said she will tell me more later because right now the thought of the subject is making her so anxious she can't speak, Im just,

There are so many things here

[americasass91]

Use Me

Hello there! I know I’ve been M.I.A. for awhile. And literally haven’t written anything in like 8 months. I’ve been going through a shit ton. (Divorce, job change, all kinds of fun stuff) And I really lost my spark to write. And then the Fnaf movie came out. And seeing Josh Hutcherson on screen again lit a fire inside of me! That boy was my original crush (long before Evans). Peeta Mellark will forever have a piece of my heart. That being said, here’s a little something starring Mike Schmidt! I know, I know. It’s not a Chris Evans character? What’s wrong with me? Josh is fucking pretty. That’s what’s wrong with me. Like, I have a problem. Don’t get me wrong, I still think Chris is pretty and hope the best for him. But…he’s not been my muse lately. I said a long time ago that I wanted Josh to fuck me like a screen door in a hurricane. And it apparently still holds true today! So, I hope you enjoy it even though this is not a part of your regularly scheduled programming! Also, this takes place after the events of FNAF. Also, Also. Not sure if the people on my Taglist for Chris’ characters want to be tagged in Josh’s. If so, just let me know!

*DISCLAIMER*, If you’re under 18, this is nothing for you to be reading. Go away.

Words: 3.3k

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Smut, p in v smut, oral(f rec), unprotected sex, language, Mike being good, um I think that’s it

💙💙💙💙💙 

“Listen Y/N, I’m gonna need you to stay and work the next shift.”

You turn around and look at your manager as if she had suddenly grown 3 heads. “Excuse me? I don’t think I heard you right. It sounded like you said you needed me to stay and work the next 8 hour shift.”

She rolls her eyes as she goes back to charting the current patient she’s working on. “You know that’s exactly what I said. Look, I have no other options. Hannah called off.”

“Again? This is like the third day in a row! How is that fair exactly?” You put your patient’s paperwork down and cross your arms over your chest as you stare at her expectantly.

She doesn’t even bother looking at you as she answers. “I don’t know what to tell you Y/N. She says she’s sick. I can’t have her come in if she’s sick.”

Now it’s your turn to roll your eyes. “If by sick you mean hungover! She literally posted on Instagram last night about her night out on the town!”

She glances over at you. “There’s no way to prove if that was from last night or if it's older. Now just get back to work and I’ll let you have an hour and a half break instead of an hour.”

Now you’re pissed. “Yeah, see, that's not going to work for me. I’ve already been here for 16 hours because Kim was late. I’m not working Hannah’s whole ass shift. I have plans. I finally get to see my boyfriend after weeks because our schedules weren’t lining up. I’m not staying.”

“You really don’t have a choice. I wasn’t really asking you, I was telling you. There’s no one else to cover.”

Tears started welling up in your eyes out of frustration, exhaustion, and the possibility of not being able to see Mike again. “There’s a bunch of other people that can cover! What about you? You’ve only been here 8 hours. It would make more sense for you to stay.” 

She turns in her chair to look at you now. “Y/N, I have actual plans. My husband has a work party. And the rest of us have husbands and children to attend to. Not just ‘hanging out with my boyfriend.’

Now you’re seeing red. “So what you’re saying is because I’m the only nurse on this floor not married, I get the shitty end of the deal and have to cover when other people call off?”

“No. If you had legit plans then I’d be more sympathetic. But you haven’t even been with this boy that long. You don’t need to spend every free moment with him.”

“I’m sorry but who do you think you are? My mother? Because I’m a grown ass woman. And if I want to hang with my boyfriend on my time off then I’m going to! I don’t really need your approval for it. I’m not staying.”

You grab your Stanley and start heading towards the locker room to grab your stuff. 

“Y/N! If you don’t stay, then you can forget about this job.”

You turn around just before reaching the end of the hallway. “Well, then I guess you’re going to have to stick around and cover Hannah’s shift. Stick it up your ass, Jan. I quit.”

You don’t even stay to hear what she has to say. You quickly run to your locker and grab all of your stuff out before you start to cry. You can’t believe you just quit. And it’s not just because of your boyfriend. You haven’t been treated right since the first week you started. This was just the last straw. You just hope Mike won’t be disappointed in you.

💙💙💙💙💙

After a quick shower and outfit change at home, you reluctantly find yourself pulling into Mike’s driveway and getting out of the car. You haven’t gotten to see him in about 3 weeks and you know you look like shit from not only your long ass shift but also because you cried on the way over.

You head to the front door and open it up. He always leaves the door unlocked when he knows you’re coming over, and get hit with the aroma of pasta. Mike’s cooking you dinner. That makes you want to start crying all over again. He’s the sweetest.

“Babe? Is that you?” You hear him call from the back of the house. He quickly comes towards the front and sees you. His smile falters when he sees the state you’re in. “Babe, are you okay? What happened?” He quickly wraps you up in a hug. 

You try your best to keep it together but a few tears fall. “I quit today.”

He pulls out of the hug but keeps his arms around you. “You did? Babe, that’s fantastic!” He pulls you back in for another hug and picks you up to twirl you around.

Your mood instantly lifts and you can’t help but laugh. “It is?”

He sets you down and pulls you in for a quick kiss. “Of course it is! That place was treating you like shit! And Jan was a bitch! What finally made you do it?”

He lets go of all but your hand and leads you into the kitchen so he can continue making spaghetti. He sets you down at the table and pours you a nice big glass of wine he bought just for tonight. “I want to hear all about it.”

He goes back to the stove and continues making dinner while you rehash the last 16 hours.

He turns around with the sauce spoon in his hand and his other on his hip. “Hannah called off again? Jesus, how does she still have a job? Didn’t she do this to you last year during Christmas?”

Oh, shit. You had forgotten about that. She did do this last year! You had plans to fly home and see your family for the holidays when Hannah unexpectedly came down with ‘the flu’. Jan had called and needed you to work since nobody else could cover. You felt like since you were still new at the time that you couldn’t say no. Now you’re getting pissy all over again. 

“Oh my god! You’re right! Maybe the bitch has some vendetta out against me. I’ve never done anything to her though! I’ve been nothing but nice!”

Just then your phone dings, alerting you of a text. You quickly check it. It’s from Hannah.

I can’t believe you threw a tantrum and quit just because I wasn’t feeling my best and couldn’t come in. Wow. All so you can hang out with your piece of shit delinquent boyfriend. You sure have your priorities straight.

“Fucking cunt!” You yell as you throw your phone across the table. Then immediately you slap your hands over your mouth just as Mike turns around to see what you’re yelling about.

“What’s wrong? Who was it?”

You remove your hands from your mouth. “Mike, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to curse that loud. I hope Abby didn’t hear me.”

He waves you off. “Babe, she’s not even here. She got invited to a sleepover at Natalie’s house. We’re alone. You’re good.”

You sigh in relief. “Thank god! I don’t want any of my bad habits to rub off on her.”

Mike just chuckles and turns back to the sauce. “If she turns out anything like you, I’d be entirely okay with that.”

You can’t help but feel a blush creep up your neck. He was always saying sweet stuff like that. You get up and hug him from behind and press a kiss to the back of his neck. “You’re too sweet.”

He turns around in your arms and grabs your face and gives you a proper, toe-curling kiss. “I mean it.”

After a few more shared kisses, Mike finishes up dinner and fixes you both a plate and a glass of wine for himself. As you’re sitting there twirling your spaghetti around your fork, you can’t help but think about Hannah’s text again. And then all of the little snide remarks she’s ever made to you come flooding back.

“Babe?”

You snap out of your thoughts and Mike comes back into focus. “Yeah?”

He puts his fork down. “I asked if there was something wrong with the spaghetti? You’ve hardly touched it.”

You look down at your plate and realize you’ve just been twirling it around your fork. “No, it’s fine. Just thinking about what Hannah said and how much it pisses me off. I’m sorry, I’m not meaning to ruin our time together.”

He smiles and grabs both of your plates and gets up and places them on the counter. He comes back over and holds his hand out to you. “Come on.”

You grab his hand with no hesitation and let him pull you out of your chair and let him lead you to his bedroom.

He turns around to face you right before you get to his bed. “First of all, you could never ruin our time together. I love getting to spend time with you no matter what. Second of all, it sounds like you need to let out some anger and need a distraction.”

You can’t help but feel all tingly at the smirk he’s giving you. “What did you have in mind?”

He backs up a little and sits on the bed and looks up at you. “Use me, Y/N.”

You shake your head. “What? What do you mean?”

He reaches out to grab your hands to pull you towards him. “I mean use me. Use me to distract yourself and to take your anger out on. I’ll be a good boy and do whatever you need.”

That almost had your knees buckling. “Oh.” He lifts your shirt up and starts pressing kisses along your stomach while running his hands from your back to your hips and down to your ass. You’ve never been in this position before. Sure, you guys have only been together for like 5 months but anytime you’ve ever been intimate, he’s been the one who’s taken charge.

He pulls back and looks up at you. “Use me, baby. I got you. Tell me what you need.”

You decide to run with it and take control and blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. “I wanna sit on your face.”

He lets out a little whimper as he moves back on the bed. “Fuck, baby. Please sit on my face. I want you to suffocate me.”

He lays back and patiently waits for you to remove your pants and panties. You hesitantly climb up on the bed. You’ve never done this before with anyone but have always wanted to try it. You climb up until you’re straddling his waist and lean down to kiss him. 

He returns the kiss enthusiastically and grinds you down onto him so you can feel how hard he already is for you. It makes you let out a small moan into his mouth. The making out only lasts for a few more minutes before you pull away and start climbing up until you’re hovering right above his mouth.

Before you fully lower yourself onto him you grab his hair and yank so that he has to look at you. He lets out another beautiful whimper. “I’m going to ride your face until I can’t think of anything else but your tongue. You’re going to be good and make me cum as many times as I want, right?”

He nods instantly. “Yes, I promise I’ll be good for you.”

“Good boy.” You tell him, which makes his eyes roll to the back of his head. Hmm. Who knew he had a praise kink?

You let go of his hair and grab onto the headboard with both hands before you slowly lower yourself onto his waiting mouth. 

He immediately grips your thighs and pulls you even harder on him and starts eating you out like a man starved. “Oh, fuck!” You throw your head back and start grinding on his tongue. He gives you a few more licks before he sucks your clit into his mouth and starts lapping his tongue back and forth against it. “Oh, god. Fuck, Mike! You’re so fucking good at that.”

Your praise has him moaning and whimpering into your pussy, heightening the experience that much more. He moves his right hand towards your ass and gives it a nice squeeze before moving towards your pussy and immediately inserting two fingers.  It makes you start grinding faster, feeling yourself already close to the edge.

He starts pumping his fingers in time with your grinding, pushing you even closer to the edge. You can’t believe how quickly he got you there. 

“Mike, please! Gonna cum! Make me cum.”

He pumps his fingers even faster and lightly bites down on your clit, knowing it’ll make you fall over the edge.

You scream his name out and grind on him until it’s too much and you lift yourself away from his mouth. To which he whimpers out, “where’s that pussy going? I wasn’t done yet.”

You let out a breathy laugh. “Jesus. I almost passed out from how hard I came. Give me a minute.”

“So I did good?” He looks up at you with big eyes and his chin glistening with your juices.

You pat his hair. “You did so good, baby. Made me feel so good.”

He smiles and wraps his arms around your thighs and presses soft kisses to the inside of them. You close your eyes and take a minute to enjoy that before you look behind you and see his erection pressing painfully against his jeans. You need that inside of you. Right now.

You remove yourself from his face and he lets out a little whine. “Don’t worry. I’m not done. Need your cock, baby.”

You’ve never seen him undo his belt and slide his jeans down that quickly before. It almost makes you chuckle. “Eager, are we?”

He nods as he pushes his jeans down far enough that his cock springs free and hits your ass. “Need to feel you around me, babe. Please.”

You lean down and pull him into a kiss which he returns generously. You can taste yourself on his tongue. He grabs his cock and hits it against your ass, signaling that he’s ready for you to slide onto him. You take the hint and lift up and back until he catches at your entrance. He’s the first one to break the kiss as you slowly slide down onto him. The little whimpers he lets out as you sit flush against his thighs is music to your ears.

You decide to tease him and just stay resting there for a minute while looking down at him. He has his eyes clenched shut and a death grip on your hips. He opens his eyes after a few moments and looks up at you. He reaches his right hand up and places it on your cheek, caressing it with his thumb. “Go ahead and use me babe. Take what you need from me.”

You slowly start moving your hips back and forth, never really lifting them up and down. The friction against your clit is so delicious. You place both hands on his chest and start moving your hips a little faster. “Oh, fuck baby. You feel so good. You’re so deep.” 

“Yeah? Am I making my girl feel good?”

You smirk down at him. “Oh, yeah. You’re being so good for me.”

He lets out another whimper as he grabs you by the back of your head and pulls you in for a heated kiss. This one sloppy and desperate. His hand that’s still on your hip starts moving you a little harder against him. He pulls away from your mouth and kisses his way up your neck towards your ear. “Come on babe. Cum on my cock. I can feel you clenching around me. Cum for me so I can be good and cum for you.”

This time you’re the one letting out a whimper. “Yeah? Want me to be your good boy and cum for you? Fill you up?”

“Please.” You whine out, moving your hips even faster than before. You can feel your orgasm coming like a freight train. There’s no stopping it. 

“Oh yeah. I can feel it. You’re gonna cum for me. Do it. Make a mess on me babe. Please, I need it.”

“Yeah? You need me to cum for you? Need to feel me cum? Oh, god Mike. I’m almost there. Please don’t stop.”

He continues helping you grind your hips against his. You’re almost there. Just a little something…..

“I love you, Y/N. So fucking much.”

That did it. You’re pitched off the edge and silently scream out. The edges of your vision going white. You can vaguely hear Mike whimpering out your name as he does as promised and fills you up. You slow your hips down until you can’t move them anymore and slump down against him with your face tucking into the crook of his neck. He wraps his arms around you and rubs his hands up and down your back.

You both stay like that until your heartbeats return to normal. You lift up your head just until you can see him, almost nose to nose. He’s the first to speak. “So, did I do good for you?”

You let out a chuckle. “You were so good, baby.” You can feel him twitch inside of you at the praise. “But, we need to talk about what you said.”

Mike scrunches his brows for a few minutes before his eyes go wide and he realizes what he said. “Shit, I did not mean to say that.”

You can’t help the disappointment that crosses your face. “Oh, well that’s okay. It was in the heat of the moment.”

He quickly wraps his arms tighter around you. “No! That’s not what I meant. Shit. I one hundred percent meant it. I just wanted to make it special when I told you. Not in the middle of an orgasm. You deserve better than that.”

You smile and press a kiss to the tip of his nose. “I appreciate the thought. But I really don’t need anything special. I already have you.”

His smile lights up his entire face. “I love you, Y/N.”

This time you press a kiss to his lips. “I love you, too Mike. Like, a lot.”

“I bet not as much as I love you.”

Just as you’re about to retort, Mike’s cell starts vibrating, causing you to jolt with fright since his phone is still in his pocket which your leg is pressed up against.

“Jesus Christ.”

You quickly get up so that he can grab his phone. “Hello?”

You go into the bathroom to clean up. You come back in with a wet cloth to clean Mike up. He just hangs up as you come in the room. “Everything okay?”

He smiles in thanks as you hand him the cloth. He goes about cleaning himself up. “Yeah. That was Natalie’s mom. Apparently Abby has decided she doesn’t wanna stay the night so I have to go get her.” He stands and pulls his jeans back up and smooths his shirt out. “Sorry we won’t be alone anymore.”

You pull him in for a quick kiss. “Nothing to apologize for. I love you Mike. And that means loving all of you. Which includes Abby. Whom you know I just adore. Go get her and we’ll have a movie night or something.”

He shakes his head and pulls you in for another kiss. “I still don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

You just smile in return. “After the past year you’ve been through, you deserve to be happy.”

He chuckles as he heads out the door. “Ain’t that the damn truth!”

[andreafmn]

Ours | Derek Hale Oneshot

Word Count: 3.5K Requested by @gracelynn318: "Derek or Stiles finding out that their significant other (the reader) is pregnant and they try to keep it secret for as long as possible" Warnings: pregnancy, pregnancy symptoms (vomiting, nausea, fatigue)

Summary: Derek Hale and (Y/N) have been together for a long time, and they didn't know something was missing from their lives until it arrived unexpectedly. And all they want to do is revel in the moment for as long as they can, by themselves.

A/N: this story follows 0% of canon, just the character's names. will admit. I am a horrible Teen Wolf fan that has yet to see season 5 and 6, and I've also yet to watch the movie. So, definitely an AU 😬also, be on the lookout for tonight or tomorrow for another surprise regarding this request 😉😉

Derek had noticed the change long before (Y/N) had. Long before she knew why she spent her days expelling her meals down the toilet drain, before she understood why her body craved more food than she could keep down, before she had even noticed that a month had passed and her period had not arrived. 

It came late at night. The soft putter of a heartbeat that felt so far that it could have been confused with the sound of rain against the pavement. They had been lying in bed, the exhaustion of living in Beacon Hills the only thing they needed to crash at night. But the sound had been bothering Derek. The continuous rhythm didn’t allow the wolf to lose himself in much-needed slumber. The sound kept him up, especially from where it was coming from. 

“(Y/N),” he whispered, running his hand up and down her arm to wake her. “(Y/N), baby, wake up.” 

“Mm,” she groaned groggily, cuddling to his body tightly. “Go to sleep, Derek.” 

 “(Y/N), I gotta ask you something. Wake up.” 

“We can talk in the morning,” she whined. “I’m tired right now.” 

“It’s important,” he chuckled softly. “I need your complete focus.” 

With a loud exhale, (Y/N) sat up in bed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. The sheet fell from her torso, and the coldness of the night made her skin erupt in goosebumps. She rarely got angry with Derek, but she was coming quite close at that very moment. “You better have a good reason to wake me, Der,” she said. “I’m so tired I might just put off killing you until tomorrow.” 

“Listen, please,” he said. “When was the last time you got your period?” 

“What?” the girl questioned. “You seriously just woke me up to ask about my cycle?” 

“More or less. Just answer. Did you get it last month?” 

It took her a moment to think. The grogginess of being woken up still clutched her mind, and recounting the past weeks was hard. But her body startled awake as she realized she had not gotten her shark week in a month and a half. That fact alone did not scare her. She had always been irregular, and in moments of stress, it was more likely than not that she skipped a cycle. The problem was that not only had she missed a period, she had been feeling sick for the past three weeks. And the math was not too hard to do. 

“I-I didn’t,” she stammered. “W-why are you asking?”

“Oh my god,” he answered. “Oh my god!” 

“What? What’s wrong?” 

Instead of answering, Derek pressed his ear to her stomach until he could hear the sound clearly. Alongside (Y/N)’s quickening heartbeat, a quieter, steady pattern joined. It was too indistinguishable now. “You’re pregnant,” he said. So quiet he wasn’t sure if he had said it at all. “There’s a baby in there. Our baby.” 

“Pregnant…” (Y/N) could not believe the word even as it rolled out of her tongue. “I can’t believe it.” 

“We’ll go to Deaton tomorrow, but I’m certain. I can hear their heart beating in there.” 

(Y/N)’s mind was reeling. Pregnant, she thought to herself. The word felt foreign. So did her body. Derek had noticed the change before her. How could she not have known that a life was growing inside her? How could she ever be a mother when she did not even know herself?  

Without realizing it, tears fell down her cheeks. She felt weak and panicked. The strong woman that had faced the biggest dangers and far scarier monsters trembled with the thought of a life depending on her for survival. It was one thing to volunteer to protect the members of the pack. They were old enough to fend for themselves. It was another to be responsible for the life and survival of another human. 

“Hey,” Derek called. His voice sounded like it was underwater. So far away that she could barely hear it. “Baby, what’s going on?” 

She hadn’t noticed that she had stood from the bed and was pacing around their room. Her breathing was shallow, and her chest heaved as she took in short breaths, trying to steady herself. Tears kept falling faster than she could wipe them away. They warmed her cheeks before the air turned them cold. It was the only thing that grounded her. 

And Derek. Always Derek. 

He had gotten off the bed, and within a second, he was wrapping his arms around her. The warmth from his skin calmed her. It brought her senses back to the moment, steadying her rampant heart. 

“What’s wrong, (Y/N)?” he spoke into the crook of her neck. “Tell me what I can do to make it better.”  

“I’m scared, Derek,” she sighed, tightening her grip around him. “A baby. Here. Now.”  

“Why not here?” Derek smiled, his hands running through her hair. “Why not now? With you as their mother, that baby could be born underground, and they would be the luckiest child in the world.” 

“How could you be so sure?” (Y/N) cried. “I forget things all the time, I’m clumsy, I can barely redeem myself when it comes to fighting. If it weren’t for my weapons, I wouldn’t bring much to the fight against our enemies. What good would I be to protect a child? How could I be entrusted with their entire upbringing?” 

“Oh, (Y/N). You’re far more valuable than what you bring to a fight.” His hands cradled her face, the green of his eyes boring into hers. “You are the most caring person I know. If it weren’t for you, I would have killed half of the pack by now. You’re smart. You’re funny. And if anyone should be terrified of becoming a parent, it should be me.” 

“Come on,” she scoffed jokingly, her tears finally subsiding. “You’d be an amazing father. Temperamental, but great nonetheless.” 

“Well, I’m glad it at least got you laughing,” he grinned. “How about we just take this one day at a time, baby? Make sure we take things slow. Tell people on our own time. Instead of going to the doctor, we buy a pregnancy test at the pharmacy; confirm what I already know.” 

“But if you can hear the heartbeat, I am sure all the other wolves will, too,” she worried. “How am I supposed to take things as they come when everyone will know the second they come here?” 

“Then, I won’t let anyone back here,” he smiled. “I’ll have them meet me at the warehouse or at Argent’s place. We can say you’re sick with something and won’t be there. Or that you went to visit family out of state –I don’t know. The point is, we can do this, baby. I know we can.” 

“Well, I do admire your tenacity,” she chuckled, kissing his lips softly and hugging him again. “One day at a time, right?” 

“One day at a time.” 

And it worked. For two months, at least. 

That very morning, he went out and returned home with five pregnancy tests and a bouquet of flowers. And five minutes later, they all showed an array of dark pink plus signs and the word Pregnant on them. Just like that, it had been confirmed. A new baby Hale would be coming to Beacon Hills in eight months. 

They were excited. Of course, they were. But they couldn’t help the terror that overtook them as well. Bringing a new life into their world was a scary thought. The fact that anyone with knowledge of their child could use them against them was terrifying. Still, they wanted that baby more than anything they had wanted before. 

The child that grew inside of (Y/N) was the tangible representation of their love. Evidence that everything life had thrown at them had not been able to push them apart, not for a second. They had been through hell and back, always together, and they had come out of every single occasion stronger than before. That baby was the final piece to their equation. 

The next day, they went to the first available OB/GYN about an hour from the town. The doctor confirmed what they already knew, adding the new fact that she was around seven weeks along. The process was more than uncomfortable, but the result was well worth it. A tiny blob appeared on the screen, and the sound of a rapid heartbeat filled their ears. It made tears well up in their eyes. That tiny thing would soon turn into their baby. And even though it didn’t even have a distinguishable shape, they had fallen in love with them. 

At first, they thought they would pass the first trimester in bliss. That they would only grow more and more excited as the days passed. And they would have. Had it not been for all the symptoms that overtook (Y/N). 

She spent most of her day hunched over the toilet seat, emptying whatever was in her stomach. Even when she thought she could keep food down, an hour or two later, she would be in the bathroom letting it out. And if she wasn’t vomiting, she was ransacked with deep waves of nausea. Then, her breasts started to swell, painful jabs running through her every few days. In addition to heartburn and fatigue, it made her question just how worth it a baby could be. 

But Derek had been attentive as ever, if not a little overbearing. He had kept his promise of moving where the meetings were held, claiming that the loft was under renovation while (Y/N) was out of town for a bit. It wasn’t a complete lie, though. He used his downtime to clean up around the house and fix things he had put off for far too long. 

He fed her saltine crackers and electrolyte drinks, rubbed her back, and held her hair, and he loved her. Every day and every night, he loved her. Even when he had to stay up cleaning the bathroom or he had to carry her back to bed. He loved her through everything. 

“You did this to me,” she had groaned one day. “All I want is to eat chips and pickles, but I can’t keep anything down.”

“I know, and I’m sorry,” he responded, drawing circles on her back as he cradled her body in the bathroom. “Hopefully, in a week, it’ll subside. You’re almost out of the first trimester, and the morning sickness should get better.”

“Stop reading pregnancy books,” she whined. “By the time this bun is fully baked, you’ll know more than me.” 

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Derek chuckled but swallowed his laughter as (Y/N) gifted him an angry scowl. “Okay, okay. I think the ten books I’ve read will do.”

(Y/N) remained quiet and threw her head against his chest. His arms snaked around her body, a comfort she allowed herself to sink into. The warmth from his body felt nice against her shivering skin. But just his presence was enough to comfort her, regardless of the words she spoke. 

“I’m sorry I’ve been snappy these past few days,” she sighed. Her eyes closed as he wrapped his arms tighter around her, her head falling against his chest. “I love this baby, and I love you, but I don’t love puking all the time. And peeing all the time. And being tired all the time. I want to fast forward to the next few months.” 

“Hey, you can be snappy with me all you want. I can take it,” he said with a smile. “I will be right here every step of the way because I love you. More than you could ever know.” 

“Even when I’m all big and bloated?” (Y/N) chuckled, her hands falling onto the growing small bump. “They're already trying to deform my body.” 

“Well, at least you’re glowing.”

“No,” she sighed. “That’s just sweat.”

“Then you look beautiful covered in sweat,” he laughed. “Now, let’s get you to bed. Alright?” 

(Y/N) could only nod and wrap her arms around his neck as he carried her back to bed, laying right next to her. Even if he couldn’t take this discomfort away, he was trying his best to make things better for her. 

Another week passed, and things started to shift. The woman would only occasionally feel the need to throw up her food, but the constant nausea and heartburn had subsided. And once (Y/N) saw her baby's small fingers and feet in their 12-week ultrasound, she knew it had all been worth it. 

She also knew they couldn’t keep the secret to themselves any longer. 

The pack had become angsty. Wondering when (Y/N) would be coming back from her supposed trip. Two and a half months was far too long to just be with family. With no imminent danger in sight, they had too much time to check up on everyone else. 

“I think it’s time we tell them,” (Y/N) told Derek as they watched a movie. She cradled her small bump, something she had unconsciously started to do. “We’re almost at the five-month mark, and I think it’ll be too hard to hide.”

“Do we really?” he groaned. “I can just keep you hidden here until the nine months are up. They don’t have to know a thing.”

“You would really keep the mother of your child sequestered in these walls until I give birth?”

“Maybe even more,” he shrugged. “Maybe I’ll keep you here forever.”

“You’re quite funny, Mr. Hale,” she chuckled. “But they are our friends —our family. They deserve to know there’s one more person to protect.”

“I’ve just really liked this time,” he sighed. His chin rested on her shoulder, his beard tickling her exposed skin. “You know, just you and me. Basking in the time we won’t have once everyone knows and once the baby is here. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, (Y/N). A family of my own, that I can love and protect. A home that’s ours.”

“And we will have that,” she smiled. “We’re just allowing more love in. The best part, at the end of the day, we can just kick them out.” 

“When you put it that way,” he laughed before kissing her lips, savoring her. “Alright, fine. We’ll tell them next Saturday.” 

“Thank you, Der. It’s gonna be great.”

And it should have. 

Had it not been for the million things that went wrong that week. The A/C was busted for a total of four days, a pipe burst in one of the bathrooms, the paint they had ordered for the nursery had been put on back order, and the Camaro had to be taken into the shop for tuning. Thing after thing occurred, piling onto an already stressful time. 

Nevertheless, the week came and went. And before either of them knew it, Saturday had rolled in. 

To say (Y/N) was nervous was an understatement. For some reason, anxiety was taking over her body. Its claws dug themselves deep into her being. It made her veins run cold and her heart speed. She didn’t know how any of them would react to the baby. Even to the fact that they had kept it from them for so long. And although Derek tried his best to calm her worries, they had already made a home inside her head. 

“God, what if they hate the fact that I’m pregnant?” (Y/N) worried as she laid out more food than necessary on the kitchen counter. “What if they find the idea of bringing a child into a messed up world to be the worst thing ever?” 

“Who cares, baby? It’s our child,” Derek tried to reassure. “We are the ones that will be raising them. The ones to protect them. Always and forever.

“But they say it takes a village, Der. And that is one thing that I know is true. I mean, at some point, we will need their help.”

“And you really think we won’t have it,” he said, rounding the kitchen island. His hands traveled her body and, in one swift move, had her sitting on the counter. At eye level, he could stare directly into her glossy eyes. “We have been through everything with these people. Even the ones I hated at the beginning have become my closest friends. I’m 100% sure they’ll be thrilled that you’re pregnant.”

He snaked his hand to her chin, pulling her down for a soft kiss. But once their lips made contact, it was too much of a temptation to keep it chaste. Soon enough, their tongues danced together, and their hands pulled each other closer. It left them breathless and excited, wanting —needing more. 

“Uh, we can come back if it’s a bad time,” Stiles’ voice rang through the apartment, startling them apart. “But you guys did invite us here. So, it’s kind of bad on you guys.” 

“No. Yes! I mean, it’s not a bad time,” (Y/N) chuckled as she jumped off the counter, hiding her stomach with a comically large bowl. “We just got carried away, I guess.”

“The one day they decide to show up on time,” Derek grumbled under his breath. “Come in, why don’t you?” 

Before they knew it, the apartment was filled with werewolves, a banshee, other werehumans and supernatural beings, and their very own abominable snowman. The couple remained in the kitchen as everyone situated themselves, whispering under their breath what the best way to go about it would be. 

“Not to be pushy,” Peter called out. “But if you guys only called us over for some food, I have better things to do than hang around children all day.”

“You do know we’re all well above the age of eighteen, right?” Isaac retorted. “It’s been quite some time since we have been children.” 

“You’re still younger than me, correct?” 

“Well, yeah…” 

“Then children,” he said. “So, what is it? Am I staying, or am I leaving?” 

“Settle down, Peter,” Derek responded, biting back the urge to roll his eyes. “We do have something important to announce to everyone and would very much appreciate it if you just listen.” 

“Fine,” he frowned. “But you have ten minutes of my time before I decide to leave.” 

“All we need is a couple of seconds, really,” (Y/N) said with a smile on her face so sweet no one dared say anything else. “I’m sure you heard that I was away for a while and that we were undergoing renovations here. Which, as you can tell by the lack of changes, was not true. Derek lied on my behalf and moved any necessary meetings out of our home because I needed this time to myself as I underwent a sort of change in my life.” 

“Oh my god, you’re dying,” Stiles worried. “Is it cancer? Is it at least treatable?” 

“It’s nothing like that, Stiles,” she reassured with a soft chuckle. “But thank you for worrying. It’s just as life-changing but not necessarily life-threatening. At least, I’m hoping it’s not. But you could never be sure until…” 

“(Y/N), you’re rambling,” Derek whispered in her ear. “It’s nothing bad.”

“You’re pregnant!” Lydia exclaimed, a bright smile adorning her face. 

“How would you know that?” Malia questioned. “I thought you predicted death, not new life.” 

“It’s common sense,” she shrugged, disregarding the comment. “She’s been hiding for months. The place smells like paint, and nothing in this room is painted, so I can only assume it’s a bedroom. And she hasn’t stepped out from behind the island that just so happens to cover her stomach. Two and two always makes four.” 

“Except on this occasion, it made three,” (Y/N) chuckled. She walked around the counter and joined Derek’s side, her bump finally on display for everyone to see. “But, yes, Lydia, I am pregnant. Almost five months now.” 

A shower of ‘holy crap’s and ‘oh my god’s rained over them as, one by one, the pack got to their feet and hugged the couple in congratulations. They rejoiced together and started planning how to spoil little baby Hale even before they were born. Every single person was as excited and overjoyed as Derek and (Y/N) were, anxious for when the baby was born. 

Well, except Peter. 

“Yeah, next time you have these kinds of news, little nephew, make sure to make it an email,” he grumbled, looking at his watch. “Can’t believe I canceled evening plans for a pregnancy announcement.” 

“We love you too, Peter,” (Y/N) laughed. “Maybe if you leave now, you can still make it to whatever it is that you had planned.” 

“I’m already here,” he shrugged as he sat back down on the sofa. “Might as well take advantage of the free food.” 

“Ignore him,” Derek told her, wrapping his arms around her waist. “He can’t take this moment away from us. It’s all ours.” 

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[starogeorgina]

Killer queen

Warnings: Incest, sexual content, swearing

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen × Targaryen OC

1.03

Closing her eyes, your mother shakes her head. She was disappointed in you. Not Aemond, just you. Your grandsire was trying to convince her it was a good thing you’d gotten married, as it meant your family had a stronger united front and you’d most likely be producing a baby soon. Aegon was too hungover to give a damn, while your father was in his bed resting. He had been sick for some time, but the infection that grew on his body seemed to be spreading quickly, causing him to become much weaker.

The only person who congratulated you was your sweet sister Helaena, who thought it was fantastic news. It excited her that you could start a family of your own, which meant you would be raising your children together.

“Who’s idea was it to get married so promptly?” Your grandsire asks.

Your cheeks flushed red; it was obvious by the look on his face that he knew it was you who suggested getting married north. You gulp down, “It was—”

“We both did,” Aemond says, answering for you both, most likely to take some of the blame away from you. “I will confess that I was upset when my mother told me of your plans to find a husband for Ashara. I have always loved her, and the idea of her marrying another was simply too much to bear.”

Your mother's gaze softens. “My kindhearted boy,” she says before kissing his cheek. “It pleases me knowing you have found true love, although I do wish I was there to witness it myself.”

Aegon lifts his head from the table, looking up at you through bloodshot eyes with a ghost of a smirk on his lips. You gave him a look, which meant you silently agreed with him. You and Aegon both knew that if you had said those same words, your mother's reaction would have been very different.

“I will have the seamstress make you a new wardrobe,” your mother says, looking over at you disapprovingly. She would much rather you dressed the same as her in dark green dresses, with your hair neatly back, instead of having your hair curled by your handmaidens or the plunging dresses you wore. “As a wedding gift,” she adds with a fake smile.

“How generous.”

Your mother gives you a sideways glance before excusing herself for a meeting with the King’s Counsel. Aemond offered to walk her, which she graciously accepted. When they have left the room, your grandsire, who is now standing beside you, places his hand on your shoulder and says, “Give her time; she will soon see that this is a good thing.”

—

“I’m going to ask you something, and I need you to answer me honestly,” you say, your words coming out in a slight slur.

From the edge of his bed, Aegon lazily nodded as he poured more wine into his cup than yours, spilling most of it onto the floor as he struggled with the simple task. He seems unbothered by this as his bedchamber is cleaned daily, although it does bother you since you're sitting on the floor with your back against his bed.

“What is it?”

“Do you think if Daeron and Jacaerys weren’t so close in age, mother would still have sent him to old town?” You’d always wondered if the reason your mother sent Daeron away was because he reminded her of how unhappy she was when he was born. It wasn’t as if she had sent him away to raise your family's status.

Aegon scrunches his nose up and asks, “How close in age are they?”

“Jacaerys was born only a few moons before Daeron. Do you not remember? Father was ecstatic that Rhaenyra was having her first baby, and he practically ignored our mother.”

Your brother shrugs before bringing his cup to his lips, but he stops when he frowns in confusion. “I remember they shared a wet nurse; that was weird.”

“Father thought by sharing a wet nurse it would bring them closer and stop any rivalries from starting.”

“That worked,” he snorts. “I think Mother would have us all be cupbearers for other houses if she could. She doesn’t like us.”

“That’s not true; she does love us in her own way. Some more than others,” you laugh.

“Are we still going dragon riding tomorrow?” He asks, changing the subject.

“Yes, I’m training with Criston in the morning, so I’ll meet you in the dragon pit at noon.”

“Fine with me. Will Aemond and Helaena be joining us?”

“Have you asked them to join us?”

Aegon rolls his eyes before topping up his cup. He jerks the jug towards you, and you hold your cup higher for him to pour more into it. You took his silence as a no. A few years prior, you and your siblings would travel for miles on Sunfyre, Aelora, Dreamfyre, and Vhagar; however, the older Aegon and Aemond got, the more competitive they became with dragon riding, and the thought had occurred to you many times that someone would get hurt.

You look up at your brother and take in the heaviness in his eyes. It hurts to see him look so sad. He mumbles, “I don’t mind if it’s just us.”

You squeeze his hand and say, “Then it will just be us.”

Although you shared a deep love with Aemond, the bond with your eldest sibling was different. You shared a part of yourself with both of them that not many understood. You considered your eldest sibling your soulmate because you were two of the same; no matter if Aegon was your biggest enemy or ally, you would always be connected. And Aemond was your twin flame; you were always destined to be together and burn together.

—

“Gods!” You gasp loudly as your back arches. “Don’t stop! Please don’t stop!”

Aemond’s fingers dig into the flesh of your thighs as he sucks on your clit relentlessly, showing no mercy as tears spill from the corners of your eyes. It doesn’t take long for you to come apart with your legs shaking around his head.

Already overstimulated and slick with arousal from your previous orgasms, Aemond pushed inside you with ease. Your hands tangle in his hair as he latches his mouth to your breast, sucking on it harshly. He uses one hand to keep his balance while he pinches your nipple with the other while pounding into you.

It doesn’t take long for you both to reach your peaks, screaming each other's names. Aemond’s head collapses onto your shoulder. “I’m hoping my seed takes soon.”

“Hmm.” You wrap your legs around his waist, holding him close to you. Since returning home to keep three moons ago, Aemond’s goal has been to get pregnant. “I have rather enjoyed trying to make a baby with you.”

He lets out a chuckle. “Trust me, I’ll still fuck—oh,” he says, rubbing his thumb along your chest. He looks concerned as he notices the dark, bruise-like marks on your skin. “Does it hurt my love?”

You kiss his scar and say, “No, it doesn’t.”

He frowns. Aemond had left love bites over your body; in fact, he got a kick out of it. He thrived on others knowing you were his. “My darling wife, promise me you’ll tell me if I’m being too rough with you.”

Placing a soft kiss against his lips, you whisper. “Of course, but I know you’ll never hurt me, Kepa.”

Aemond stares at you with his mouth agape as he digests what you just said. “You're expecting a child?” he says, rolling off you.

“Yes, the maester confirmed it today.”

“Ñuha jorrāelagon,” he says, pressing his forehead against yours while his hand rests against your flat stomach. “When did you suspect?”

“I didn’t. I went to the maesters to find out if they had any teas or oils that would help me become more fertile. I have still been bleeding, so I assumed I wasn’t with a child, but I was wrong. Asha zaldrizes iksis mazverdare iemny nyke.”

Aemond’s voice shakes with emotion as he says, “You're going to be an incredible mother.”

Smiling, you kiss him again. You felt so full of love; he was yours as much as you were his.

Father- Kepa

My love - Ñuha jorrāelagon

Your dragon is growing inside me - Asha zaldrizes iksis mazverdare iemny nyke

[callsign-dexter]

First Huge Fight Pt. 3

Summary: Jake and Y/N have their first big fight. Hurtful things are said and regretted. Can they make up before it is too late? Or will the Seresin-Bradshaw household be turned upside down?

Pairings: Bradley Bradshaw x Jake Seresin, Bradley Bradshaw x Daughter!Reader, Jake Seresin x Daughter!Reader

Warnings: angst, bruising, blood, car crash, inaccurate medical talk, swearing, hospitals

Masterlist

Our Little Girl

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

The warmth of the lake water at the family lake house is what brought Y/N out of her daydreaming along with an electrifying jolt through her body. Why would she be at their lake house? She was just in an ambulance.

There was a distant beeping noise in the background.

"Pulse is back. Vitals returning to normal." Someone said off in the distance. "Someone please notify the family." The voice continued.

"You know he didn't mean it right?" A voice sounded from behind Y/N and it startled her. She turned around and saw the most beautiful woman standing there, she looked exactly like Jake, this must be Dakota. "He loves you." Dakota said.

"The way he said it made it sound like he didn't. He said he wished they would've saved you instead of me." Y/N said, replaying the fight.

"Jake says a lot of things that he doesn't mean. I watched the whole fight and his reactions. He regrets everything he said and did." Dakota replied, "You both love each other even if hurtful things get said." She continued. Dakota walked over to the young girl and placed a hand on her cheek which Y/N leaned into. "You look so much like both of them." She said.

The beeping kept going and it was bothering her but she ignored it. Until a voice came in.

"You can try talking to her. Sometimes they say it helps them come back and they can sometimes hear you." A nurse said to the family that were led into the hospital room.  It was silent. "You're allowed to touch her." She added. "I'll be right at the nurse's station if you need me." She said and walked away. 

Dakota and Y/N had walked into the Seresin-Bradshaw Lake house and were at the oven making cookies, cookies her Grandma Carole taught her how to make.

"I never want this to end! We're having so much fun!" Y/N said to Dakota while putting another batch in the oven and set the time. She turned around and to the island where Dakota handed her a cookie and they began eating.

"Time is endless here but you have to go back eventually." Dakota said in a sweet voice that mother would do while talking to their kid while Y/N looked out the window. "Your time is not done here and you need to wake up." That made her head jerk to Dakota.

"What did you say?" She asked, confused. A ringing beep went through her mind "Do you hear that?" She asked again.

"I said time is endless here. I don't hear anything Sweetie." Dakota said just then a version of Goose came into view.

"Hey, Chick. They say sometimes coma patients can hear loved ones and I'm hoping you can. Your Dad and Pops are worried sick. I just want to know what happened to make you drive into a storm. I just hope you wake up, I need my pranking buddy back." He said. He got up and bent over and kissed her on the forehead "I love you, Chick." He whispered close to her ear. He walked out of the room feeling his heartbreak.

She felt the kiss on her forehead and his breath on the shell of her ear when he whispered. She could also smell his scent that smelt of cinnamon. She missed that smell.

"What made you drive in the middle of the storm?" Dakota asked 

"I wanted out of the house away from Pops. I wanted Grandma and Grandpa Goose. I was going to see them." She said a bit sad. She felt guilty that she's putting stress and breaking her loved one's hearts. Just as she was getting ready to speak, Carole appeared.

"Hi, honey." She said in a hushed voice but still cheerful voice. "I fully believe you're listening to us." She paused and grabbed her granddaughter's hand and started to rub it. "I really miss you. You're my best student when it comes to cooking, don't tell your dad I said that." She giggled. "You're my best girl, I don't want to lose you. Everyone is waiting for you to pull through. You're our little fighter. I love you Y/N/N." She said and kissed her hand and reached down and hugged her. 

Y/N giggled at what she was saying. She felt her hand tingle and she looked down at it and then felt her whole body get warm from the hug and then the warmth left. She could smell brown sugar and lavender. She missed her. Why did she have to get into that truck? She should've just stayed put. The timer to the oven brought her out of her daze but Dakota was already pulling them out of the oven and bringing the cooled-off batch over to where Y/N was sitting on the couch and sat down with her with the cookies in front of them.

"They miss you." Dakota said.

"Yea I know but I don't want to go just yet." Y/N said.

"That's ok. You know it was my decision for them to save you if they couldn't save us both. It wasn't your fault." Dakota said and reached over to get a cookie for each of them and handed her one.

"Then why did Pops say that?" She asked.

"It was out of anger. It was my decision." Dakota told her. Before either one of them said anything else. Ice walked in.

"Hey there, Sunshine." Ice said. "How's my beautiful girl doing?" He asked knowing he won't get a response while pushing hair out of her face and occasionally rubbing her forehead. "I saw the truck. It's pretty bad but we all can fix it. That's what we do best." He said coming to rest his hand on her cheek. "You're worrying us all, baby. Everyone just shut down. We told the others what happened but refrained them from coming in until you're awake." He told her and watched her chest rise with the help of the ventilation machine. "I'm just hoping you wake up and jump up telling us all this is a joke, but I know it's not." He paused and was silent. "Cyclone and Warlock were asking about you just a little while ago, we didn't give much detail." He told her. "Cyclone doesn't want to admit it but he has a soft spot for you and we all can see it."  He laughed "I guess I should let the others have a turn. I love you, Sunshine." He said and kissed the side of her head. 

She felt it and could smell his lemon and jasmine scent. She just wanted to reach up and hug him. "What day is it?" Y/N asked Dakota.

"Here it's a never-ending day but it's Friday 12 PM." She told her niece. Maverick was the next to walk in. 

"Hi, Peanut." He began "I really don't know what to say. The last time I was here like this was when your Grandpa Goose had his accident but he pulled through, I know you will too, you have the Bradshaw stubborn genes." He said it was heartbreaking. "Peanut. You're strong as fuck, excuse my language, you've been put through extensive pilot trianing and even pulled g's, if you can survive that you can survive this. I believe in you and so does everyone else. We all love you and want you here with us. You're too young to leave this world, there is a lot left for you." He paused, clearing his throat trying to hold back tears but they were already falling "You're important to us all, even more important to Jake and Bradley. They need their little girl back, I don't think they could function without you." He said as he put his hand on her thigh and rubbed it. He got up and kissed her forehead "Be strong Peanut." He said and left. 

She laughed at that and felt his hand on her thigh, the kiss on her forehead, and the breath on the shell of her ear. She could smell his jet fuel and sandalwood scent.

"Pilot training?" Dakota asked and Y/N laughed.

"Yea while Dad and Pops were on deployment Grandpa Ice, Grandpa Mav, Grandpa Goose, and Uncle Slider thought it would be fun to teach me to fly and be a WSO. I went through extensive pilot training and they didn't know about it and still don't." Y/N laughed at the memory and turned to Dakota. 

"Are you all going to tell them?" Dakota laughed knowing Jake would flip.

"Eventually." Y/N said. She turned back around when Bradley came in and sat down and just sat there for a minute.

"Hey, Honey." He began tears already falling down. "This is really hard for me and your Pops. He's taking the worst of it." He continued "I hope you can hear me. They said talking would help but I don't know what to say. Last time I was in the hospital you were born and now this time you might wake up and you might not, I'm hoping for the first option." He said. “Honey, your Pops didn’t mean what he said. After the fight he went downstairs and shut down while I tucked you in. He beat himself up and actually cried the only other time I’ve seen him cry was when you were born and he held you. He loves you to the moon and back. I honestly think he loves you more than he loves his F-18. I love you so much, maybe even more than the Bronco and that’s saying something honey.” he said ending it with a sniffle “Please don’t leave us, I don’t think any of us would survive. We really do love you.” he took a shaky breath and ran a hand through her hair “If this is it and you’re ready to go, then that’s ok. We’ll miss you like crazy but we understand. I just hope you choose to stay with us. You’re the light of our lives. I love you, Honey. Come back to us, please.” he ended and kissed her forehead. A few tears dropped onto her hair and he lingered there for just a few minutes. He let out a shaky breath and left.

Y/N had tears running down her face. She didn’t want to leave her family. She felt his hand running through her hair, felt his kiss on her forehead and the tears falling onto her hair. She could smell his honeysuckle scent that reminded her of home. She loved them all. She couldn’t leave them not a chance. 

“Sounds like you have people that love you.” Dakota said, making her jump.

“I do and I love them all so much!” she exclaimed “I don’t want to leave them. I just want to keep resting for a little bit. I’m just so tired.” she said and Dakota smiled.

“Of course Sweetie. You still have one more person to listen to.” She said and about 10 minutes later Jake walks in. It was now 1 PM in the other world.

Jake sat down and let out a shaky sigh “Hey, Sweets. I hope this will get to you. I’m so sorry for hurting you, yelling at you, saying I wish they would’ve saved Dakota instead of you, for all of it. I never wanted to turn into my dad but that night I did and I’m so sorry.” He said and tears started to fall. “From the day you were born you were the light of my life and I made a promise to not hurt you and I broke that promise.” he took a shaky breath “I love you so much and I will never stop saying it no matter what happens,” he said. “Slider would probably miss you the most out of all of us. He wouldn’t have anyone to help him mess with Ice or Mav and you know how much he loves to do that.” he gave a watery laugh. The next thing he said was from his heart and nobody knew except Bradley, Jake grabbed her hand and ran a hand through her hair, and leaned down next to her “The day you were born and they gave you to me, I thought my hands were too rough to hold you. And you cried no matter what we did. But your Dad said that that was a good sign, you were strong. It wasn't much comfort when I was holding you, pacing back and forth all night. All you did was look at me with those big, beautiful eyes. I made all kinds of promises to you if you'd just go to sleep. Y/N... I forgot to keep those promises... and I'm sorry. Do you forgive me? I'll tell you every day how proud I am of you, how proud I am that you're my daughter. Just stay with me... please.” Jake was full-on sobbing. He leaned over and gave a lingering kiss on her forehead and tears fell on her face.

“See he loves you and didn’t mean he said.” Dakota said looking at Y/N as she was watching her Pops. She was crying and she could feel him running his fingers through her hair and the pressure when he leaned over to kiss her forehead and the tears on her face. She could smell the woodsy scent and the lingering jet fuel from him working on his jet every chance. She couldn’t leave them “All you have to do is wake up, Sweetie.” Dakota gave her advice and that’s what she was going to do.

Jake ended the kiss and took his hand away from her hair and was about to start walking away when Y/N squeezed his hand and not just a light squeeze, a death grip squeeze and that made him stop short. “Sweets?” he asked and walked back to her as she started to cough and choke on the tube. “Hold on Sweets. Let me go and get someone.” he tried to walk away again but she wasn’t letting up on her death grip. Alarms were going off left and right and her heart rate was picking up alerting the nurses and they came rushing in which the other family members shot up from their positions and rushed into the room and saw the commotion. She was trying to grab the tube but Jake was stopping her then nurses and her main doctor rushed in and just as Y/N opened her light amber eyes and looked up at her Pops. They pushed Jake out of the way but she wouldn’t let him go “Sweets, it's ok. I’ll be right in here, they just need the space to work." That seemed to work because she let go of his hand. 

Bradley went to him and pulled him back to the rest. Maverick was crying and holding his mouth. Ice was trying not to show emotion but it wasn’t working. Goose was holding Carole, keeping her from falling. Bradley was doing the same to Jake. 

The nurses successfully removed the tube and put a nasal cannula on her and then backed away and some left besides on her main nurse, Nurse Alex. “I’ll get Dr. Hayes in here.” Nurse Alex said and they nodded. Once he was gone nobody dared to move afraid it was just a hallucination. 

“Pops?” Y/N said in a raspy voice and held out her hand and he walked to her and grabbed it.

“Yea, Sweets?” Jake asked, tears streaming down his face.

“I forgive you.” Y/N said and Jake leaned down and he reached down and ran a hand through her hair he leaned down his other hand coming to the other side of the face and kissed her forehead, as she grabbed onto his shirt in a death grip. He leans down further and wraps his left hand around her head while her head rests on his bicep and closes her eyes as tears flow freely from both of them. Jake hugs her like his life depended on it and she clung to him like her life depended on it. She was never letting her family go again.

Tag list:

@athenabarnes

@fanboyluvr

@aizawash0e

@els-marvelvsp

[hllywdwhre]

Dreamer, Queen, Prince - Prologue

Pairing: Daemyra x fem!OC

Warnings: Please check masterlist for warnings. This is an 18+ fic, MDNI

Masterlist

*97 AC

Prince Aegon kneeled next to Princess Adlyn Stark’s pale form with her hand in his. A fever had set in soon after the birth of their daughter, Viserea, and in three days it had taken her. Aegon couldn’t bring himself to leave his wife’s side yet, in disbelief at the sick twist of fate. They had convinced her father Ellard, the Lord of Winterfell, to allow them to be wed. They had traveled to King’s Landing and had a royal wedding. Less than two moons later Adlyn found out she was with child. Their happiness had lasted less than a year.

It was Aemma’s touch that broke him out of his trance and caused him to finally look away from his dead wife’s body. Behind her stood his older brother, Viserys, and each of them held a baby bundled in blankets. Viserys held his own daughter, Rhaenyra, wrapped in a blanket of Targaryen red and Arryn blue, while Aemma held Aegon’s daughter, Viserea, wrapped in a blanket of Targaryen red and Stark grey. Both of the blankets were gifts from the girls’ uncle Daemon.

“Brother, you have my deepest condolences,” Viserys said, his face showing just how truly sorry he was for his brother, “You must leave her side now. Viserea needs you.”

Aegon can read the true meaning behind his words. They need to take her body away now so that she can be prepared for the funeral. That was why they truly needed him to leave her side.

“I want her sent back to the North. She deserves to be buried next to the rest of her family. She wanted us to return there to raise our family after our grandsire passed, she would want to be buried there,” Aegon told them. He knew that traditionally a Targaryen’s partner received a dragon rider’s death, but traditionally one didn’t marry for love and instead married out of political advantage. Their marriage was not traditional.

“Of course, Aegon. Her wishes will be honored,” Aemma said, not bothering with any titles. She was one of the only in the Keep who did not use them unless absolutely necessary, and while most would see it as disrespectful, Aegon knew that Aemma meant it as a show of affection. She had always found titles to not be personable enough when speaking to those that she loved.

Aegon kissed Adlyn’s hand one last time and wiped away the rest of his tears before standing. He turned to face his brother and his brother’s wife and allowed them to guide him out of the room where he could hear the handmaidens covering her body.

“How is Viserea?” Aegon asked, forcing himself to focus on the last bit of Adlyn he had left.

“As strong as the woman she was named after,” Viserys said as Aemma gently handed the newborn girl to her father.

Aegon let the smallest smile crack across his face at the sight before him. While she possessed the silver hair and violet eyes of a Targaryen, Viserea’s face was that of her mother’s. As much as he wanted to return to the room they had just left and lay beside his wife’s body and waste away until he joined her, Aegon knew he could not allow himself to do so. He would not leave his daughter alone in the world without a parent.

“Are you ready to pick an egg to join her in the cradle?” Viserys asked his brother.

“I’m assuming you have already placed the gold one in Rhaenyra’s cradle?” Aegon asked, though he knew the answer. It was the egg Viserys had been watching for weeks, just waiting on Rhaenyra to arrive so he could choose it. Viserys let out a laugh and nodded,

“Tell me that it isn’t fitting for her,” Viserys said and stepped next to Aegon, letting him see his daughter’s face. Aegon couldn’t help but see what Viserys meant.

“Well, let us see if we can find one as fitting for my Viserea, shall we?”

Aegon and Viserys allowed the wet nurses to take their daughters and made their way to the dragon pit. Aegon looked over the eggs for only a couple minutes before deciding on one. It was a deep purple so dark it almost seemed black with the tips of each scale colored silver. He ordered for it to be placed in the cradle with Viserea and to only be removed when necessary.

6 months later he would find a purple dragon with small talons of silver curled on his daughter’s chest while a golden dragon slept soundly next to his niece.

*100 AC

“Dracarys,” Jaehaerys shouted, watching as Vermithor’s flames covered his grandson’s body where it lay on a pyre.

Rhaenyra and Viserea clung to each other in front of the small crowd gathered for Aegon’s funeral. Daemon stood directly behind the girls, gently resting one hand on each of their heads. At only three years of age, neither of them should have to be introduced to death, yet Viserea was saying goodbye to her father and Rhaenyra to one of her uncles. He hurt for them both. His brother had always been the nicest of them, truly encapsulating the lessons their grandsire had tried teaching them. Daemon always knew that Aegon would have made the best king out of his siblings, but it seemed the gods had a cruel sense of humor.

That night when it was time for the Princesses to go to bed, no one stood any chance of separating them. They refused to leave Viserea’s bed and, eventually, Aemma and Viserys allowed them to spend the night together tightly wrapped in the red and black silk blanket brought back by Daemon.

*102 AC

“Tessarion!” Viserea said, as firm as a five year-old’s voice could be.

“Syrax!” Rhaenyra said in the same commanding tone.

The two girls had finally chosen the names of their dragons and had spent the entire day away in the dragon pit teaching them their names. Rhaenyra had chosen Syrax, named after the Valyrian goddess of fruitfulness. Viserea had chosen Tessarion, after the goddess of prophecies.

The dragons perked up, looking at their respective riders and tilting their heads. The two girls let out giggles of excitement. The dragonkeeper grinned proudly at the two of them.

“Now that they know their names, try giving them a basic command. Princess Rhaenyra will tell them to sit and Princess Viserea can tell them to stand.” He said, allowing each of the girls to take a step forward to the dragons.

“Demās,” Rhaenyra said clearly, smiling as both of the small dragons sat down. Rhaenyra turned to look at Viserea.

“Iōrās,” Viserea said next, causing both of the dragons to stand up. Both turned to look at the master, “Can we, please?” She asked. Moments later two goats were brought into the pit on opposite sides.

As soon as each goat had each dragon’s attention, they were given the okay by the dragonkeeper to give the command.

“Dracarys!” Rhaenyra and Viserea both said in unison, watching as their dragons’ stream of fire left their mouths.

*103 AC

“I present King Viserys Targaryen, first of his name, King of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm.”

Aemma, Rhaenyra, Viserea, and Daemon kneeled at the foot of the Iron Throne, facing the new King. Viserea and Rhaenyra both wore traditional Valyrian headpieces that Daemon had gotten made for both of them directly after King Jaehaerys had named Viserys his heir.

The first thing Viserys did as King was make Viserea a legal part of his and Aemma’s family. It was to be declared and documented that she was his daughter as much as Rhaenyra was and would receive the same treatment as though she was the King’s true born daughter. Viserea would grow up knowing who her parents truly were and would be taught about them and both sides of her family’s history, but by law, she was Viserys and Aemma’s daughter.

This declaration did not change the family dynamic that had been built over the past three years since Aegon’s passing. Rhaenyra and Viserea had been inseparable since birth; where one went, the other followed. Aemma had always been a mother figure in Viserea’s life. In fact, she had called Aemma her mother for the first time at four years old and it had taken a lot of delicate explaining to try and get Viserea to understand that Aemma was actually her aunt. It took even longer to calm the crying girl down when she was told that her mother had died. It was Rhaenyra that got her to calm down when she said that they could just “share” her mother. Viserea received the same treatment from Viserys that Rhaenyra did, even before Viserea’s own father had passed and in the three years between her father passing and Viserys being crowned King of the Seven Kingdoms.

*104 AC

The dream started out as many of Viserea’s did. Flashes of her and Rhaenyra with their dragons, flashes of them learning Valyrian, flashes of the couple memories she still had of her father. This one took a turn halfway through. The colors weren’t as clear; the sides of them blended together as if it was a painting left in the rain. A golden dragon flew in the sky far above King’s Landing and moment’s later a deep purple dragon with silver talons arose next to the golden. On the backs of the dragons were Rhaenyra and Viserea themselves. A dragon’s roar could be heard over the sound of wind and then Viserea was sitting upright in bed.

Viserea pulled on the large door to her chambers and came face-to-face with her own member of the King’s Guard, Ser Ryden Tyrell.

“Princess, what are you doing awake?” Ser Ryden asked, a kind look on his face.

“I need to see Rhaenyra,” Viserea told him politely, “It’s very important.”

“My Princess, the sun has not risen yet. Princess Rhaenyra is still asleep in her chambers,” Ser Ryden told her.

“I need to see her! We will ride our dragons today and I need to tell her,” Viserea said as if it was as common a piece of knowledge as any.

“How are you so sure of it, Princess?”

“I had a dream of it and when I woke up I heard Tessarion’s roar. I know it is a dream like Danys the Dreamer!” Viserea’s voice rose in volume and became more demanding, needing him to understand the urgency she felt.

Ser Ryden’s eyebrows raised in surprise at the Princess’ statement. He glanced around the hall and then back at Viserea,

“How about this, young Princess? We don't disturb anyone while they sleep and you go back to your chambers. I know about your dream and I will make sure you have your time with Syrax and Tessarion first thing in the morning so you can tell Princess Rhaenyra. If Princess Rhaenyra mounts Syrax and you mount Tessarion, you and I can go to the King together and tell him about it. Is that a good plan?”

Viserea pondered the idea for a moment before nodding and shaking his outstretched hand.

The next morning Viserea told Rhaenyra about the dream and Ser Ryden’s promise while they were escorted to the pit. Ser Rydan stood with the dragonkeeper, having already told him about Viserea’s dream and what he had promised her. After a review of all the commands they needed to know, the master allowed them to attempt to mount their dragons.

“Lykirī. Rȳbās. (Be calm. Listen.)” Viserea said as Rhaenyra did the same. Viserea approached Tessarion and gently stroked her neck, smiling as the dragon seemed to hum underneath her. Her hands shook on top of the dragon, but she did not let her nervousness show.

Viserea gripped the saddle of the dragon and began pulling herself up. She carefully placed her foot on the part of the wing they had been taught to use to help themselves mount and let out a yelp when Tessarion lifted the wing and helped her the rest of the way onto the saddle. Once she was seated, Viserea looked to Rhaenyra to find her already seated on Syrax. Both of the girls smiled widely at each other then turned their attention back to the dragons.

“Naejot. (Forward.)” Viserea commanded and she tightened her grip on the reins as Tessarion began moving from inside the dragon pit and out into the training yard. A breeze blew past them and a flash of golden was already making its way to the air. Wasting no more time, Viserea gave one last command,

“Sōvēs, Tessarion. (Fly.)”

Within moments, Tessarion was next to Syrax again and Rhaenyra and Viserea were cheering loudly. The two guided their dragons above King’s Landing, showing off as they did so. The small size of both them and their dragons made it so they could dip down into the larger spaces between buildings and be back above the rooftops in moments. They flew to the Red Keep all the way down to the Silk Streets then back to the pit again. When they finally landed, both girls wore great smiles and their dragons were chirping and clicking away happily.

After the dragons were taken care of and back where they belonged, Ser Ryden kept his promise and both the girls were brought to the King where Ser Ryden and Viserea told her uncle of the dream and then about how she and Rhaenyra had flown that very morning.

Viserea and Rhaenyra were now the youngest dragonriders in Westorosi history. Viserea was the first dreamer since Aegon the Conqueror.

[tan1shere]

Okay I am obsessed with film wife! Can you do like a fight imagine? Maybe the reader and Miko get into a huge argument but have to act like everything is okay to everyone else. (With whatever ending you choose) I just wonder how she’d be in an argument.

Make it up to you

Young Miko x Female reader !

A/n: at your service 😌 enjoy everyone !!

Summary: you both work alot, but Miko has been taking some time off, to have a break. Not for the best reasons. So when you ask nicely the morning before the incident, to do some things around your shared apartment and come back to them not been done. All hell breaks loose. But don't worry she will make it up to you ;)

Warnings: angst, smut, so mdni. Fingering (r!receiving) bathtub sex ?? Mentions of drinking, fair warning I do not speak Spanish so there probably won't be anything in here apart from some names 🙃

Masterlist

She's coming through the door. She had been drinking, you could smell the tangy stench from your stance in the living room, of your small apartment you and Miko shared.

Later that morning

"Hey, do you think you can do a few things for me while I'm at work?" You ask the silvery blonde sitting on the couch, watching TV. She hums. "Miko?" As you say that she looks at you. But briefly. "Yeah yeah sure, whatever you need baby." You put your shoes on. "Just the dishes and the laundry thats piling up in the wash house." You grab your keys, but not before giving her a kiss goodbye. "Please do those things I asked." You smile at her sweetly, she nods in return.

"This is the 4th night in a row you've been out." You speak dryly. You dunno what's gotten into her but she's spiraling. "So what." She shrugs, closing the door and beginning to take off her shoes. "María." Oh she's fucked. "What the hell is up with you, do enlighten me because I'm getting sick of this behavior." She scoffs. "What are you my mother." You furrow your brows at that statement. "I'm swamped with so much shit at work the least you could do is tidy up a bit around here. In our home." She doesn't say anything. You go closer to her. "Baby just tell me what's bothering y-" She looks at you with anger. "You wanna know why I've been out drinking huh? Why I'm taking a break from work. I have absolutely no motivation and all I feel like doing is nothing." She spat, stomping closer to you. You back up a bit confused by this sudden behavior. "And I don't need you nagging me to do stuff all the god damn fucking time." You stare at her. "There's no. Need to take it out on me." She rolls her eyes. "That's the thing. I want to take it out on you. You're infuriating."

Shock. Disbelief. Did she really just say that. Your face softens, you slowly look down. "Maybe you should be the one made to do the dishes." She pokes your shoulder making you move it slightly, grabbing onto it. Feeling tears prick at the corners of your eyes. You wanted to say something, but you just couldn't. So instead you go into your guys room, letting them slowly fall as you grab her pillow and chuck it at her. "You're a fucking asshole." You look at her with the tears streaming down. She's fucked up big time. And she realizes in that moment. "Bab-" But you don't hear it as you slam the door in her face. Curling up on the bed. All you wanted was something nice to come home to. Come home to your loving girlfriend to have some time with her, coming back to a nice clean apartment. After an awful day at your boring job.

But there was none of that. None of her at all. You came home to a mess, making your stress levels increase, making you stress more to find she wasn't even home to greet you. She was out drinking like some old man, who was wishing his life away. That's not Miko. At all. You didn't want to think any longer, bringing the sheets over your body. Crying yourself to sleep.

You woke up early the next morning like you usually did. Getting ready to enter hell, putting on a smile. Miko was never awake at this time so you prayed you didn't have to conversate with her until atleast later on in the evening. You leave your guys shared room to see her on the couch, dead asleep. You let out a tiny breath of relief. Heading out the door quietly to go to work.

You try to get the right key about to open the door. You had come home later and let's just say you were very tired. You were fully expecting Miko to be gone. Again. But confusion washed over you when you smelt food? You open the door more to see the table set with a full meal. You look around. Dishes, clean. "Miko?" You call out, as you set your stuff down. You look into your apartment further hearing a tap going, you head for the bathroom seeing her kneeling at the bath putting some bubbles in there and fixing up a few last things. You melt at the fact she's done all this.

She notices your presence. Quickly standing. "I uhm. I apologize for last night, and- the many nights before." She sighs but continues. "It was wrong of me to say what I said it truly was. You work so hard, I never really realized nor appreciated it. You're amazing and to have to deal with my ass like you do is amazing. Again, I'm so deeply sorry." You smile at her, immediately going to kiss her with so much passion. "Thank you for all of this. But I just want to say. You can come to me my love. If you're going through something I'm here, always will be. You don't needa go off drinking like some middle-aged man. You have me." You say with so much adoration. She smiles at you and nods. "I love you."

"I love you." After a moment she gestures for you to follow her. "I cooked." Your smile widens. You love when she cooks for you, she makes the best food. "It smells amazing baby." That made her truly happy inside. "I'm so glad you like it." She kisses your cheek and joins you at the table.

As you finish you lean back into your chair. "Ah ah- I already planned your bath, then you can have some well needed rest. I might of gotten you the day off.. For 3 days." You look at her, even more confused then you were, when you came in. "How- what- huh?" She nods, going to stand. "I did some persuading." She winks at you, earning a light chuckle from your lips. "I missed this. Us having our meals. You." She rubs your arm. "I won't let what happened last night happen ever again. It was wrong and hurtful, again I'm so sorry mama." You just hug her, feeling so grateful for what you had with her.

"Right bath time. Go get ready- we'll un ready rather. But go do that and I'll get you the last things you'll need." You get on your tiptoes to kiss her, scurrying off to the bathroom, the smell was beautiful and calm in there, the lights were a lil dim only source of light was from the small candles littered around. You undress, hoping in and letting out a content sigh, closing your eyes as you let the warmth go over your body. Miko comes in with a fresh towel and your night clothes. Setting them on the counter. She gives you a smile before leaving. "Wait-" You make her stop in her tracks. Turning to face you.

"Please join me, will you?" She begins to walk back in taking her shirt off, and everything else getting in with you. You move so she can squeeze in behind you, putting her arms around your torso and holding you close. "Thank you." You say with a genuine smile. "You're so very welcome." A comforting silence fell upon the room. Until it started to get steamy, and no not because of the water temperature. Her hands start to slowly move over your body. Inching closer to where you need her. "Please.." You blurt out. She hushes you gently. "I will, promise. I wanna take care of my girl." You bit your lip as her hand came closer. Closer. Then boom, that amazing feeling of her fingers sent a shockwave through your body, reaching her destination. You let out a soft moan, feeling her fingers creeping to your center.

Slipping them in with ease, she began to move them in you. Adding another finger, stretching you out. You let your head fall back onto her shoulder. "Good apology?" She breathes out watching as you begin to grind your hips down on her hand. "Mhmm-" You let out, cutting it short with yet another moan. "F-feels so good." "Only the best for you mama, only the best." You bit your lip as she increases the speed, letting your mouth hang open as you near your orgasm. She feels it, feels you clench. "There you go, cum for me mi amor." The name rolled off her tongue effortlessly. Not the only thing she can do with that tongue. You let go almost immediately. Letting out the most pretty sounds (according to her) she continues until you are completely finished. Removing her fingers, and using her other and to brush hair out of your face. It was safe to say, she was never going to do what she did again.

[icyminghao]

knocking on heaven’s (your) door

pairing: leehan x gn!reader genre: fluff, some angst, neighbours!au, highschool!au, childhood friends to lovers, mutual pining, leehan is so whipped it hurts word count: 3.5k

summary: leehan has been by your side your entire life. but when you start seeing him in a different light, will your friendship with him still stay the same?

bonus: in leehan’s eyes

Leehan has always been your constant. 

From the moment you showed up to his neighbourhood at six years old knowing absolutely no one other than your parents, he was the one person who accompanied and played with you even though you knew he clearly had other preferences for games. You heard him grumbling to his mother sometimes when he thought you couldn’t hear them, but you were always silently grateful that he never stopped playing with you.

When middle school came around, you were worried about what was going to happen to your friendship with Leehan. See, Leehan was an extremely extroverted and easygoing person, who just seemed to get along with everyone without much difficulty. You, however, had to try a little harder to make friends with people due to your shyness. Leehan had made so many new friends just from the first day of middle school, and you found yourself hanging out with him less and less during school as the weeks went by, making you grow increasingly worried that he would abandon you for someone “cooler”. 

“Han, you know you don’t always have to walk home with me, right?” you asked one day as the both of you were walking home from school. Although Leehan hung out with you less while you were in school, he’d always wait for you after school to go home together, and you didn’t know what to make of it. Were the both of you still friends? Or just people who lived next to each other?

“What do you mean? We’re literally neighbours,” Leehan raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“Like, you can always go hang out with your friends, I know they usually hang out after school. I can always go home by myself, you know.” you explained, turning to look at his reaction. 

Leehan suddenly stopped, and you didn't realise until you were quite a few steps ahead of him. Jogging back to stand in front of him, your heart beat faster in anticipation (or dread?) at his reply. 

“y/n,” he started, looking into your eyes with so much intensity you found yourself looking down at your feet to avoid eye contact instead, “you’re my best friend. Those people you’re talking about don’t know me better than you do, or longer than you have, so why bother?” 

You looked up to face him. You didn't know why, but the title of 'best friend' somehow warmed your heart and made you feel sick to your stomach both at the same time. “I mean, you could always choose to hang out with them, let them get to know you better, you know?”

“You’re so silly. I’m not bailing on our daily routine just to hang out with mere acquaintances, y/n. Let’s go home now, yeah? I’m starving,” Leehan let out a laugh so melodic your breath hitched for a second, and reached out to ruffle your hair before turning to continue walking down the street like nothing had happened. 

You remained rooted to the ground, mind reeling. Why was your heart beating faster than usual? 

“Hey, stupid! Are you coming or not?” Leehan shouts from a distance away, snapping you out of your trance. 

“I am, I am!” you shouted in reply, running after him.

Whatever this was, you were glad Leehan was still by your side.

“Are you thinking about loverboy again?” an exasperated sigh snaps you out of your daze, and you look up to see Hikaru looking at you with her eyebrow raised, Jungwon sitting beside her looking unbothered.

“I wasn’t, and who said anything about him being loverboy?” you reply defensively, sitting up to face your friends. Leehan wasn’t the only one expanding his social circle as the two of you grew older, as you found yourself becoming fast friends with Jungwon and Hikaru during middle school, your friendship lasting all the way to high school now. 

“So you were thinking about Leehan,” Hikaru giggles with the kind of satisfaction someone would get after finally getting a math question right after an hour, shaking Jungwon’s shoulders in delight. "you guys are so in love it physically pains me to watch."

"I was not thinking about Leehan! And we are not in love, Hika, don't say that so loudly!" you shush Hikaru desperately, looking to Jungwon for help.

Jungwon simply shrugs, deadpanning, "She's right. You guys are stupidly in love with each other it makes me want to die."

"We aren't! I am not in love with him, and he is not in love with me. We've been neighbours for nearly our entire lives. We’ve seen each other in our awkward phases. There's no way he'd ever be interested in me in that way, ever." you defend yourself passionately, unsure why this topic is even eliciting such a huge reaction from you. The truth is, you have thought about being in a relationship with Leehan, but he seemed so out of your league that you gave up on it early.

"Oh, yeah? Then tell me why he's looking over at you with heart eyes right now." Hikaru glances behind you nonchalantly, and you turn around only to lock eyes with Leehan from across the cafeteria, sitting with five other guys, one of whom you recognise to be Taesan from your Calculus class.

Leehan brightens visibly upon meeting eyes with you, waving animatedly at you like he was seeing you for the first time in a long time. Endeared, you beam back at him before turning back to see both Hikaru and Jungwon looking at you with an 'I-told-you-so' face.

You sigh. "He's just friendly like that, okay? He would have done the same to any other friend of his."

"Who would've?" an ever-familiar voice pipes up, and you jump in shock at the sound as Leehan slides into the seat beside you, greeting your friends as he settles down. You don’t miss the hint of bitterness laced in his voice, but you choose to ignore it in case you were being delusional.

“You scared me, Han! What are you doing here, anyway?” you grumble, trying your best not to make eye contact with Leehan.

“Aw, can’t I pay a visit to my favourite person and their friends just because? Your conversation seemed more interesting than whatever the guys were talking about, anyway,” Leehan teases, his signature smile creeping up his face. You can’t help but stare at him in awe, and Hikaru definitely notices.

“Oh, really?” Hikaru pipes up, raising her eyebrows at you. “What were they talking about?”

“Jaehyun has been trying really hard to set me up with someone, and it was getting annoying, so I figured whatever you guys were talking about had to be more interesting than the pure torture I’d have to go through if I stayed there,” Leehan explains, looking at you the entire time to gauge your reaction. “So, who were you guys talking about before I came here?”

“trying really hard to set me up with someone” you turn over the words over and over again in your head. Of course someone as handsome as him would be looking for love, and of course it wouldn’t be with you. His appearance had completely changed when highschool started, his facial features more defined and his build becoming larger in general. And his nose, his nose. You would spend hours looking at it if you could, that was just how beautiful he was. And his eyes, they always seemed to light up the entire world everytime he smiled, it’s no wonder that he suddenly became so popular in highschool, girls and boys flocking to him like he was free real estate. Why, then, would he ever be interested in a nobody like you?

“y/n? y/n!” you snap out of your stupor to see Jungwon snapping his fingers in front of you, “What were you thinking about? It’s like you went to another dimension or something!”

You glance to your left and lock eyes with Leehan, who is looking at you with such a worried gaze in his eyes one would think something serious happened to you. The thought of Leehan going on a date with someone else creeps up your throat again, and you start to feel suffocated.

“I- I’m sorry, I have to go, I just remembered that I have a Calculus assignment due in thirty minutes! I’m really sorry guys, I’ll see you!” you make up a flimsy excuse hurriedly, standing up and bolting out of the cafeteria before you break down in front of everyone.

“Wait! y/n, is everything okay?” Leehan asks from behind you, but you’re too upset to bother, missing the way he watches you leave with a pained expression.

You don’t talk to Leehan for the rest of the day.

Well, you didn’t exactly have the opportunity to, considering that you had no shared classes with him that day.

Which is why you had quite the shock walking out of your Calculus class with Taesan only to see Leehan waiting for you by the door, your classmates walking by nonchalantly like it was a regular occurence (well, it was, but you just didn’t expect him to be waiting for you considering what happened earlier).

“I’ll see you tomorrow, y/n! Have fun,” Taesan greets, nodding at Leehan on his way out of school.

“Hi,” Leehan steps forward, shooting you his signature smile, and you forget how to breathe momentarily. “are you okay? You seemed a bit… out of it, earlier.”

The way his eyes soften as he speaks has your heart threatening to jump right out of your chest. You’ve been friends forever. Why does he have this effect on you?

“y/n! There it is again,” Leehan chuckles for a bit, before turning serious, “what’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“It’s- it’s nothing serious, Han. I’m just tired from school and all the exams coming up. Let’s just go home, hm?” You don’t give him the chance to call out your avoidance, walking ahead of him instead.

The walk home is silent, an unusual occurence considering that the usual routine was one filled with laughter and endless chatter all the way back home. You can tell that something’s on Leehan’s mind, but you decide not to probe further and wait for him to talk instead.

"So," Leehan starts as the both of you turn and walk down the street you both live in, "who were you guys talking about at lunch earlier? Do you like someone?"

"We were just talking about some friend of mine, Han, it wasn't anything important. What about you? How's the whole matchmaking thing going?" you change the topic, looking everywhere but in Leehan's direction.

Leehan hesitates. "I... actually wanted to talk to you about this. I'm supposed to go on a date with someone they picked out for me tomorrow, and I wanted to ask whether you'd be okay with it."

You stop in your tracks abruptly, and Leehan continues walking at first, then realises your absence and jogs back to you. You feel a sense of deja vu at the scene unfolding in front of you.

Your heart feels like it'd been shattered against the wall. You break out into a small smile to mask your disappointment. "Han, why do you have to ask me for permission? You're your own person. You can do whatever you want."

Leehan’s shakes his head, eyes softening. He looks like he’s withholding something. “I just thought I should ask you first, since… since we’re supposed to go home together. If I go on that date, I’ll be bailing on our routine.”

You try your hardest to let out a chuckle that doesn’t sound too fake, hoping Leehan doesn’t pick up on it. He doesn’t say anything, and you take it as a sign to continue. “Hannie, why am I standing in the way of you and a potential partner? Go.”

Don’t go, you so badly want to say, but restrain yourself. Why should he sacrifice his love life for someone like you? Compared to him, whose very existence brings so much joy to so many people’s lives, you’re… nothing.

Leehan looks at you with what you make out to be a longing look on his face, like he’s expecting you to say more.

“But y/n, we’ve never not gone home from school together, ever. Even on days where our schedule didn’t line up, we’d wait for each other. If I go on this date, it’d be the first time our routine is broken,” Leehan strangely sounds like he’s pleading with you.

“Are you trying to get me to say no? You can do whatever you want, Han, but I think this is a good opportunity.” you retort, your words laced with a hint of bitterness that you don’t bother masking.

“Who knows if this would be the beginning of the end of our routine if I go? y/n, is this not important to you? This is one of the only moments I get to spend time with you, one-on-one, and I cherish it. A lot. But it looks like it doesn’t go both ways,” Leehan’s brows furrow together as he gets agitated by the second.

You don’t know why you’re being so avoidant, and the next few words come out of your mouth before you can react to stop them, “You think I don’t cherish this? Why are you so worked up about this, anyway? It’s not like we’re dating or anything-”

“And that’s the problem!” Leehan interrupts, raising his voice a little in frustration. He’s never gotten frustrated with you before, and you look on the situation with worry.

“Every second that passes whenever I’m with you pains me more than you can believe because I know my feelings are unrequited. Do you know how hard it is to be standing here in front of you and not be able to reach out and hold you anytime I want, not be able to call you mine, and not be able to put a label on our relationship instead of this infuriating ‘best-friendship’? I was hoping you’d stop me from going on that date, y/n. But you didn’t. I guess that’s enough evidence for how stupid I am to have fallen so, so deeply in love with you.

But no matter how hard I try, I can’t stop. I’ve loved you ever since we were dumb six-year-olds playing house in your front yard, and I still love you now.”

You release a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. Leehan is looking at you with such an intense gaze in his eyes you feel small.

Say something! Your heart screams, but your brain refuses to listen.

Leehan scoffs at your silence and looks down at his feet. “Goodbye, y/n.”

At that, he turns around and walks towards his house, and you’re just now realising that you’d already reached your front porch.

You stay rooted to the ground as you watch his slumped figure enter his house, internally screaming for you to say something while nothing comes out of your mouth.

Leehan isn’t at his usual spot outside your Calculus class the next day, and you can’t hide your disappointment.

Earlier this morning, you were turned away by Leehan’s lovely mom as she told you apologetically that Leehan had already left for school by the time you knocked on his door, and he wasn’t with his group of friends at his usual spot at the cafeteria today. Even Hikaru and Jungwon noticed the change in your behaviour, opting to rub your back comfortingly and say nothing.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Taesan offers, picking up on your sorry state. “There’s a new cafe that recently opened nearby, we could go there and talk.”

And that’s how you end up sitting across from Taesan in the newly-opened cafe a few blocks away from school, with cups of iced matcha lattes in front of you.

Taesan listens attentively as you recount what happened yesterday, though he seems unfazed, like he’d heard about the situation beforehand.

You pause. “Did he tell you this already?”

“Well, yeah. I just wanted to get your perspective on the whole situation,” Taesan explains, shrugging. “So, how do you feel about him?”

You sigh. You’d had time to think it over yesterday, but your feelings are still as confusing as ever.

“I don’t want to lose him.” you state. “He’s been there for me my entire life, and I have been there for him, too. I just, I can’t imagine having to live on without having him by my side. To be honest, I can’t even imagine sitting here on a date with some other person, because somehow, I always thought-”

Your eyes widen. Taesan smiles.

“God, I’m so stupid. It’s probably too late, right? I messed up so bad, Taesan.” you chastise yourself, burying your face in your hands.

“No, y/n. That guy would probably wait multiple lifetimes for you if he had to.” Taesan smiles reassuringly.

You look up at him, slightly unconvinced.

“As much as he was upset at you yesterday, did you really think he was going to leave you here alone? He asked me to accompany you today,” Taesan explains, “well, that is not to say that I wouldn’t have hung out with you if he didn’t ask, y/n, I think you’re pretty cool. I guess there just weren’t really many opportunities, since your time after school has always been reserved for each other.”

You’ve never run back home faster than you just did before.

After Taesan’s revelation, you got up abruptly, thanked him, and bolted out of the cafe and all the way to Leehan’s front porch. Bracing yourself, you knock on his door. You can only hope he’s home this time.

You hear some shuffling from inside the house, and the door opens soon after. You come face to face with Leehan, clad in a dark blue hoodie and a pair of sweatpants that just made him look so domestic.

“Hey,” you start, albeit a little awkwardly, “the date ended so fast?”

“I didn’t go on that date, y/n.” Leehan states in a matter-of-fact tone. Oh, you think, chastising yourself internally.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry.”

The both of you apologise at the same time. After a beat of silence, you and Leehan break out into a fit of giggles, and for a moment, you think everything is fine again. Just like before this all happened.

“Leehan, I wanted to apologise for my behaviour yesterday. Our daily routines mean everything to me, and not having you walking beside me today showed me that.”

Leehan opens his mouth to say something, and you speak first before he does.

“I’m in love with you, Leehan, I’m sorry it took me so long, but I’m so in love with you, I can’t bear to imagine what it would be like if you’re not going to be by my side anymore-”

“It’s Han,” Leehan interrupts, not saying anything else.

“Huh?”

“You’ve always called me Han,” Leehan’s eyes soften as he looks at you so fondly you think your heart is going to explode, “I’m sorry I said being in love with you was stupid, because it isn’t. I’m in love with you too, y/n. What took you so long?”

Leehan slowly leans closer until your noses touch, and his eyes wander from your lips to your eyes. You give him a small nod.

You don’t know who initiates it, but soon his lips are on yours, and you feel like your whole body is being lit on fire. Leehan’s lips felt like home, and you’re left wondering what really took you so long as you smile into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck.

You pull away for breath and Leehan’s lips chases after yours, eliciting giggles from you. You lean forward to give him a peck on the lips.

“Hi,” you beam at Leehan. “I’m in love with you.”

“Hi,” Leehan looks so in love you think you might die. “I’m in love with you, too.”

“Are you staring at loverboy again? Come on, y/n, do something already!” Hikaru sighs in exasperation, looking on the whole situation with frustration.

Jungwon perks up. “Hey, he’s coming over.”

“Hey, guys, what are you talking about?” Leehan comes to sit beside you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

“Nothing much, just about how Woonhak led the basketball team to win the season last week. He’s really cool, I’d love to talk to him someday,” you make up an excuse, preferring to die than to admit that you had been staring at him.

“Woonhak?” Leehan scoffs, “I can beat him in a one-on-one anyday, y/n, I’ll show you.”

You look over at Hikaru to see her face scrunched up in very, very obvious frustration, and you almost feel sorry for her.

“Hey, Leehan! We gotta roll,” you hear Taesan from behind you, and you turn around to give him a smile in greeting.

“Well, I gotta go. I’ll see you later, baby,” Leehan ruffles your hair, standing up and turning around to leave before stopping and turning back.

“I’m leaving my partner in your care, guys! See you around,” Leehan smiles before turning to leave for real.

“y/n…” Hikaru looks at you with the most hardened glare you’ve ever seen, and you sigh. You’re dead.

a/n: andddddddd knocking on heaven’s (your) door is finally here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hope you guys enjoyed this fic, i tried my best hehe

taglist: @luvistqrzzz

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[arxxq]

Hello! Can i request prompt 12. “I'm not that jealous type but what's mine is mine.” with Nagi Seishiro for the collaboration you posted? Thank you and take care always (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠✧⁠*⁠。

12. “I'm not that jealous type but what's mine is mine.”| nagi seishiro

Thank you for the request anon! Mwah♡

I'm not really doing good and i’m sick rn, my nose are stuffed, my head is spinning, my throat is dying and unfortunately i still have to go to school. that also explains my inactivity besides school rn. i’m doing my best to manage my time to write and do some of my school works as well. 

list of prompts are in my blog, i recently updated my navigation (my pinned post) so just check that and you will find the link to the prompts listed. 

mistakes will be fixed once i reread, lowercase intended

mentions of y/n / reader being reo’s step sibling. gender not specified. please forgive me if i mention she/her pronounces here. 

you and nagi have been together for a while. 

you must admit when you first started dating it did felt weird dating a lazy football player. 

just as you manage to got used to it in a few months, it got even weirder realizing that nagi seishiro, your beloved boyfriend was your brother’s best friend. 

it seems like reo himself didn’t know you were dating his best friend. it was clear to you that nagi had never told anyone of his relationship with you and that made you feel some sort of wave called relieve. so instead of telling reo, you decided to keep it hidden first. 

if you are wondering, no one in the school or anywhere infact knew about you and reo being step siblings because you didn’t really want the fame and your parents have always prioritize reo’s needs more than you, and with that you and reo agreed and manage to as well convince your parents to take in your biological mother’s surname instead. 

yes you have always questioned why the mikage family decided to adopt you, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t grateful about it at all. it felt like you were in a dream. even if your step parents didn’t give you much attention, you step brother did. he would always manage to convince his parents to spoil you. you have to admit, reo is probably the best brother you could ever have. 

he was always the person who cared, so its not really a surprise that reo would probably be the one who would stay longer then anyone when you are in your grave. and you would also do the same. 

now lets go back to our original subject....

not only did reo did not know about your relationship with nagi, but nagi himself also did not know that you were the younger sibling of his friend, mikage reo. the decision seems foolish because honesty usually is the best policy and you agree it is. its just that you can’t seem to bring yourself to tell them about this. 

so keeping it a secret was suppose to bring you time so you can feel prepared on when to tell them. 

but to your luck, life wasn’t liking your decision so of course it had to ruin it in some way possible. when you were already ready to tell reo, that was when fate decided to struck.

so it was at school. you came up to reo all of a sudden to ask if he’d like to walk with you for a while. yes it did weirded out others in the school because they themselves knew that you were already dating someone. 

everyone knew you were dating someone including your brother, but they just didn’t know who. yes reo did know about you having a relationship, but he didn’t ask you because he didn’t want to sound like and overprotective brother to you and he obviously did not want to pry into your personal business. he chose to be patient and waited you to tell him about it. 

that shows he’s a caring brother figure doesn’t it. 

meanwhile with nagi, he saw you walking up to reo his closest friend. it did bother him but he didn’t want to show it. he also felt a weird feeling and he absolutely disliked the whole feeling. something in his head had told him to follow you guys so he did...

so when you and reo arrived to a less crowded space you were about to tell him but you were cut off by your snow white boyfriend. 

“so what did you want to talk about?” 

“well it’s about--” just as you were about to tell him, you felt your body being pulled by to hands and your back was faced with someones chest, that person proceeded to put his head on you shoulder and say something you wouldn’t expect. 

“I'm not that jealous type but what's mine is mine.”

your jaw dropped. you knew who it was. his words had struck you and you went speechless. your face was also burning up. those words was something so unexpected to hear from nagi. he sounded so jealous right now. 

meanwhile reo had witnessed the whole thing and was processing what he just saw. now i guess he finally realized who you were with. he did felt disappointed you didn’t tell him but he understands that you have a hard time telling people something so big to you. he just smirked at nagi. 

“so you are jealous huh nagi?” he chuckled and decided to teased nagi even more. “of course i am. you can have anyone else just not my dove...” reo looks at you and he couldn’t hold in his laughter since your face right now was priceless. 

you were so flustered. your face was fully flushed with the colors of red and pink. 

“hey chill, i wont steel them from you cause that would be just weird!” that made nagi confused. “nagi..they’re my step sibling, and i have to say i am disappointed they didn’t tell me about you two but i’m happy its you honestly,” 

nagi was confused but shock at this info. “dove why you didn’t tell me that you were siblings with reo,” he sounded so sad and he looked quite betrayed. “i couldn’t bring the courage to tell you..” 

“mm i guess that’s understandable..” 

i had no idea on how to end this so i ended it there.

reblogs are highly appreciated 

do not claim as your own and do not post my works on other platforms unless you have my permit 

[guess-my-next-obsession]

Starlight, Chapter Two:

pairing: fae!ezra prospect x princess!oc (Marigold)

rating: Explicit (18+ only, minors dni, some pretty heavy stuff here (at least for me) just as a warning!, talks of violence/allusions to DV, a brief non-consensual but technically consensual (??) sex scene between Kaius and Marigold, general shit storm of angst piled onto our girl (if you can’t tell i’m in actual pain writing her pain so pls be gentle with me), the romance with ezra is coming i promise!!

wc: 6.2k

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I awoke to the sound of a few familiar knocks against the main door of my suite, stone rolling against stone as it opened. My eyes batted open as I lay upstairs in bed pulling the blanket up to cover half my face as a set of footsteps ascended the staircase up to the second floor. 

“Princess,” Ezra called, his voice already a strangely soothing balm to my near-constant anxiety. It felt naive and reckless to place this much trust in a man I’d only just met, but I couldn’t find a reason not to. He’d been kind, he’d been helpful, and as far as I could see, he seemed to be the only option for an ally—unless I counted my future husband. And I didn’t. “Miss Drusilla is here to ready you for the ball.”

Wedding, you mean? I murmured to myself. 

I tossed my blanket back and slowly climbed out of bed with a stretch. Whatever magic Ezra had worked on me to get me tired forced me into the deepest and most restful sleep of my life. Another thing to like him for. I yawned as my feet padded over the giant blue rug beneath my bed and then cold stone floor before making it to the dark, wooden double doors separating me from my visitors. 

Opening the door, I let my eyes lock with Ezra’s--just long enough to ignite a frenzy of sickly tender feelings in my chest--before turning to Drusilla. I gave her an instinctive once over, happy with what I saw. Some color had returned to her naturally pale skin, her purple eyes already a little brighter than earlier. She’d obviously had a bath, her waist-length white hair now swept to the side in a clean braid. 

“Hello, Drusilla,” I said, giving her a sincere smile before turning to Ezra. Something more familiar and affectionate warped my smile into a smirk. “Hello, Your Grace.”

“You look well rested,” he said, his eyes subtly combing me over. 

“Thanks to you,” I smiled. Ezra seemed to blush, his eyes falling to the floor for a split second before he was turning to the teenager beside him. 

“I thought I’d come formally introduce the two of you,” he said, his eyes meeting mine only in short glances. “The ceremony is in two hours, followed by a feast, and then, finally, the ball.”

I felt sick. 

“I’ll be returning shortly with the Royal Seamstress to deliver your gown,” he continued, his voice a bit warmer than when he’d started speaking. He must have felt my apprehension. “Until then, I’ll leave the two of you to get acquainted.”

As he turned to leave, I found my lips parting to call for him to stay. 

“Thank you,” I said instead. “For everything.” 

Ezra gave me a tender, if not weary, smile and nod before making his way down the staircase. Left with Drusilla, the two of us fell into an awkward silence for a beat before I willed myself to forget about my impending doom and speak. “It’s lovely to properly meet you.”

She hurried into a bow, her eyes still struggling to meet mine. 

“Please, I don’t have many rules for my handmaids, but I do ask this one thing of you,” I started, my tone gentle as she finally dared to look me in the eye for longer than a second. “Please don’t bow or bother with titles. Back home, our handmaidens were like family, like sisters. We can be like sisters, too, if you’d like.”

“I’ve…always fancied the idea of having a sister,” she said, letting the smallest of smiles grace her face. “But what shall I call you?”

I smiled softly, thinking back to the days spent under the warm sun with my mother and sisters. At the name they gave me. “Call me Mari. It’s what my sisters always called me.”

Mari, it is.“ She smiled, soft and sweet, reminding me of my own girlhood that seemed so far gone and still so near. 

“Tell me everything about yourself,” I demanded as I led her into my dressing room. I took a seat at the vanity, fixing my eyes on her through the mirror as she stood behind me, mindlessly finger-combing my curls. 

“I wouldn’t know where to start,” she admitted. 

“Well…are you an only child?” I asked, desperate to keep the conversation away from myself and the festivities she was readying my for. 

“I had a little brother, Ash,” she said, reaching over my shoulder to grab a sack of pins. “He passed from a fever not too long ago.”

I frowned, letting my gaze fall to my lap as I considered the idea of losing any of my sisters—even the ever-challenging Octavia who was likely grinning with glee over my current situation—after having lost my mother. I wasn’t sure I’d ever smile again, which made every single smile Drusilla gave me all the more precious. 

“I’m very sorry,” I managed. “My mother passed earlier this year. I know how hard it is to lose someone.”

“He would have liked it here in the castle,” she mused, her eyes and hands busy pinning my hair up. “He loved everything to do with knights and armor and danger. Too young to know the truth of it all.”

There was a tragic maturity about Drusilla, as if she was forced into adulthood before she was even a teenager. 

“And you? What interests you?” I asked, determined to find a spark of light inside of her so that I could help it turn into a star as bright as the ones in the sky. 

“It will sound odd,” she said, as bashful as a child.

“Go on,” I urged. 

“I like to study the stars--or at least, one day I would like to. For now, I just observe.”

“There are no books--”

“The library in town burned two years ago,” she said, scowling as if she knew the culprit. “Even then, it was difficult to be let in looking…well, looking like trash.”

“How long have you been on your own?” Her eyes lifted to meet mine, a strange sort of pride glowing on her face. 

“Eight years,” she said. “Seven with Ash.”

“That’s a feat I’m not sure most of the guards in the castle could accomplish,” I smiled. “I wish I could have met Ash, given him a home here with you.”

“He would’ve liked that,” she smiled back, her eyes dropping back to focus on her braiding. “I cannot tell you what your kindness means to me. The royals are usually so…cold.” 

“Did you know the last King? Or Queen?”

“Only from afar, though I do remember seeing the Queen once as a little girl,” she said, placing the final pin in my hair. “I can’t remember her face, but I remember sadness in her eyes. I suppose I can’t blame her. To rule here…it’s an awful fate.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat at the realization that I was to share that exact fate. Drusilla realized, too, and quickly opened her mouth to apologize but was cut off by the sound of a metal hand knocking on the door. 

“Enter,” I called, my voice fragile and on the verge of cracking. Ezra’s eyes were locked on mine even before the door was opened fully. 

“I’ve…” He trailed off, noticing how rigid my posture was, how watery my eyes were. “Is everything--”

“You’ve brought my gown?” I managed, forcing my voice into one of feigned strength and dignity. I wasn’t sure if it was possible to maintain the latter anymore. 

“Yes,” he nodded, clearing his throat as he turned to the doorway, allowing an old, but regal woman into the room. “Lady Rowena, the Royal Seamstress.”

The Seamstress looked every bit like Kaius, her raven black hair and peircing blue eyes hardly affected by her age. Only her skin gave it away, fine lines and wrinkles all over her face and neck, but she still looked capable of commanding a room. A lifetime ago, she must have been the apple of every evil Lord’s eye.

“Hello,” was all I could manage as her severe eyes studied me. I stood at attention, out of sheer intimidation. 

“You’ve lost weight on the journey,” she commented, handing the garment bag previously draped over her arm to Ezra before she came stalking over, walking circles around me. “Good. Your waist is impossibly small. And those hips…those are child-bearing hips.”

I cringed, fighting hard to keep my face neutral as she faced me head on, scanning every feature from my forehead to my chest. 

“Pity about the small chest,” she sighed. “Apart from that--perfection.”

“The gown,” Ezra reminded, walking the garment bag over to drape across the back of the chaise near the hearth. Though his motives remained a mystery, as well as his mind, she could tell that he was no fonder of the Seamstress than I was. I couldn’t help letting myself fall a little more into my fondness of him.

“Yes, yes,” she grumbled, her heels clicking against stone as she walked over to the garment bag and opened it, unveiling a terribly boring black gown that looked the antithesis of what I imagined my wedding gown would be. “Made from the finest silk and lace, imported directly from Florere.”

I stared at the gown for a moment, my face blank from apathy and shock. This shouldn’t be my gown. This shouldn’t be my wedding. My mother should be here. My sisters should have stopped my father--

“Princess?” Ezra spoke, bringing me back to the present. “What do you think?

Take it easy on her, his voice rang in my head, causing me to gasp. She’s even worse when insulted.

“It…it is lovely—“

“But?” Lady Rowena scowled, her diamond-blue eyes piercing into mine. 

“It’s only—and I don’t mean any offense—“

“On with it, Princess,” the seamstress sighed, rolling her eyes. 

“It looks perfect for a bride of Nox, but I am not a bride of Nox. At least, not fully,” I managed. “I would like for that to be represented by my gown.”

“What changes exactly?” Rowena asked through a tight jaw, her patience clearly growing thin. But I had already ventured this far. No sense in backing down now. 

“I would like a golden gown,” I said, trying to force confidence into my tone. “And for the veil, I’d like there to be an embroidered sun, as well as stars. After all, this is a union between kingdoms, is it not?”

Lady Rowena eyed me for a moment before seemingly deciding that she approved of my request. Or perhaps she just approved of my courage in making a request to begin with. 

“I will see what I can do,” she said, her voice the slightest bit softer than before. 

“Thank you,” I said, wishing I sounded just a bit more like her. More like a grown woman who knew her power and owned it. Instead, I could only hear a little girl, desperate for approval. 

Lady Rowena gathered the plain black gown and matching veil, slinging the silky material over her arm before giving me a bow and making her exit from my chamber. 

Drusilla and I let out a breath of relief at the same time, forcing us to giggle while Ezra lingered by the door.

“She reminds me of the headmistress at the orphanage,” she said, walking with me back to the vanity. I locked eyes with Ezra through the mirror, finding a soft half-smile on his face as he watched us. As if the sight of me laughing--of both of us laughing--brought him peace. I looked away before it got too much to bear. Ezra made his exit a second later.

“Is that a good thing?” I asked with a laugh, finding it easy to do so in her presence. 

“Not in the slightest,” she smirked. 

We laughed again, the air light with the simple joy of being girls together—one twenty-five and one sixteen, neither quite ready to face the reality of the world we lived in. 

“I am very thankful I met you, Drusilla,” I mused, looking at her through the mirror. 

My entire life I dreamed of what it would be like to have a younger sister, to care for them the way my sisters cared for me. In Drusilla, I saw that dream start to take form. 

“You’re too kind, Mari,” she said, fighting back a toothy smile. “I worry this kingdom will steal that from you.”

I swallowed, my eyes falling to my lap. 

“I worry about that, too.”

I took a moment alone after getting dressed to look at myself in the mirror. Dressed up in black, save the changes I’d requested earlier, I looked like I was in mourning. Though in a way, I was. The life I thought I’d live, the man I hoped to meet, the love my household would share--all of it, dead and gone. 

But I could not grieve, at least not tonight. 

So, I gathered the heft of my skirt and lifted it as I made my way to the hall where Drusilla waited to bid me a goodnight before Ezra led me down to the Main Hall where my husband and our guests awaited my grand entrance. 

“Good luck,” she whispered, reaching to tuck a stray curl around my face back to where it belonged. 

“I’ll see you in the morning,” I managed, giving her a smile that I hoped would convey my gratitude for her company and kind words. I didn’t linger long out of fear that I’d gather the courage to jump from a window, my heels clicking against the stone floor as I made my way to Ezra who stood with his good arm held out to me. 

“Shall we?” he purred, and everything about that voice hit me in the chest. This. This is what I should feel for my husband, this is what I hoped as a little girl to feel for him. Soft, sweet, safe feelings, not…fear. 

“Off to the gallows I go,” I chided, earning a stern glare as we walked down the hall to the main stairs. “If I can’t joke with you, who can I joke with?”

Ezra warmed at my words. “As long as you learn to whisper. Even if I wasn’t Fae, I could hear you halls away.”

“No one knows who I am,” I rolled my eyes. “Besides, I shouldn’t have to censor myself in my own home.”

“It’ll always be his home,” Ezra warned, his eyes scanning the staircase leading to the Main Hall. 

So many guests. So many eyes fixed on me the moment I took the first step. My grip on Ezra’s arm tightened. 

I can tell that half of the men here feel very…passionate about you, he purred in my mind. And the women want to kill you.

Is that a good thing? I replied.

“It’s a dangerous thing,” he murmured in my ear, his voice sending a jolt of arousal down to the pit of my stomach. “Smile. Your husband’s watching.”

I fixed my eyes upon a handsome man in blue and black, his bright eyes glistening in the candlelight as he stood in front of an Archbishop clad in dreary gray. So handsome, and yet my gut lurched at the sight of him, my skin crawling with the urge to get away. 

“Introducing the new Queen of Nox, Princess Marigold of Solis,” a man bellowed as I made the final step into the room, Ezra’s presence an anchor. 

It’ll be alright, Princess, he whispered in my head. I swear.

I hope you don’t take oaths lightly, I chided, earning a small curl of his lips as he walked me down the aisle, unfamiliar faces gawking at every step I took. Can you do the thing where you save me from throwing up all over the floor now?

He let out a breath of a laugh so soft I could have imagined it and let his eyes glow that beautiful liquid gold, the warmth of it pouring over me like a blanket. I squeezed his arm in thanks and took a deep breath as I arrived at the altar, my King grinning at me like I was a jewel. 

“Thank you, my Hand. I’ll take my wife from you now,” he purred, taking my arm from Ezra’s. I cringed at the coldness of his hand against my bare skin, at the way he gripped my arm hard enough to ache. “You’re a vision in black.”

I loathe black, I wanted to shout.

“Thank you, Your Majesty,” I bowed, letting him kiss my gloved hand. 

“Shall we, then?” He nudged his chin towards the Archbishop, the old man scowling at me as I met his gray eyes. Giving a weary nod to my groom, I followed him up the small set of stairs leading to the dais with my hand held firmly in his. 

“Your Majesty,” the archbishop bowed to my groom and him alone, his eyes never once meeting mine as he began to recite the words passed down from century to century, joining man and wife together under their god’s divine grace. A load of antiquated bullshit that meant nothing to me and my family, who pray to the Goddesses who value true love rather than all of this marrying for power. 

It made me hate my father all the more. 

When the archbishop was finished, Kaius--my King, my husband--took my face in his hands and stared at me, a wicked grin that promised we’d have fun together. More likely, that he’d have fun with me. I tried not to shudder as he pulled me in and kissed me, his lips soft and skilled and yet I felt nothing but shame. It felt wrong, like my body and soul agreed that I was not supposed to be here. When he pulled away, I forced a smile onto my face, but there was no hiding the tears in my eyes. 

“Look at that,” he called out into the dead silent hall, his court and guests looking on with a mixture of awe and pity. “My bride is shedding tears of happiness.”

I wiped the rolling tear off my cheek and lowered my eyes to the floor. I hated the crowd’s staring, hated that my husband was already taking my pain and turning it into something that benefited him. 

Eyes up. Ezra’s voice sounded again, only for my mind to hear. Don’t let them see you as a lamb. That voice lowered to a whisper. You’re a golden lion.

I don’t feel like a fucking lion, I griped back, lifting my eyes just to glare at him as he stood by the dais. 

“Come, bride,” Kaius looked at me, his eyes sweeping over every feature, that handsome yet vile smirk spreading wider as I fixed a winning smile onto my face. “You are a stunning creature. Dull, perhaps, but…stunning, nevertheless.”

“You are so…generous with your compliments, Your Majesty,” I managed, corralling my restraint and those royal manners I was taught as a girl. Kaius’s responding wink was enough to let me know he saw right through my pretty smiles, but that he didn’t give a shit so long as I fulfilled my half of the bargain. An heir. 

“Let us celebrate,” Kaius called out into the pin-drop silent hall as dinner commenced, his eyes dark as they remained on me as they had been all night. “To my beautiful bride and the true love we’ll share.”

“To true love!” the room called back, raising their goblets. I could only manage a murmur of agreement, by body outright refusing to play the role I’d been given. My eyes hadn’t left my plate besides to look to my right at Kaius seated at the head of the table, and directly ahead of me at Ezra who watched me just as carefully as the rest of the room. Only his attention felt welcome--reminded me of my humanity, my humor, my true self.

“My dear,” Kaius purred, lazy and bored and privileged. “Have you met my uncle?” He carelessy gestured at the man sat on the other side of me. I hadn’t noticed him, hadn’t met him, nor did I want to given his predatory gaze as my eyes met his. 

“Lord Oziel of the Frostlands,” the old, musty smelling man leaned in and kissed my gloved hand. His face was severe, nothing at all like Kaius’s unnerving beauty. With his thick, raven black eyebrows, his pale and wrinkled jowls, and the odor of booze and bad breath permeating with every word, I found it a feat just to keep what little I had in my stomach down. “That beauty sitting across from you is my wife, Lady Emita.”

My eyes willingly turned from Lord Oziel to his shockingly young and gorgeous wife, Emita. Her skin was as dark as the night sky, her eyes a startling amber that looked like wildfire. Her perfectly symmetrical almond eyes locked with mine, and I offered a smile, hoping to win a friend at court who might understand my current predicament. But Lady Emita offered me no smile, no ounce of warmth or friendliness in her eyes. 

“You’re from Solis?” she asked, lifting her glass to her lips. “You look like it.”

“Thank you,” I whispered despite my attempt at confidence. 

“I didn’t mean that to be a compliment,” she chuckled, shaking her head as she stared down into the pool or dark red filling her cup. Out of instinct or embarrassment, my eyes flickered to Ezra’s, finding him with a clenched jaw, his fork stabbing at his plate a touch too aggressively for a royal. 

“Emi,” Lord Oziel warned, sounding more like her grandfather than anything. 

“Pardon me, Your Grace,” she waved a hand I supposed was meant to be an attempt at an apology. “Where I’m from, we don’t waste time with flattery.”

“Where is that?” I asked, my voice edged with frustration and embarrassment and disgust. 

“Heims,” she replied. “Your sister…what is her name again, husband?”

“Princess Wilhemina,” I cut in, my heart pounding at the mention of my eldest sister, the future Queen of Heims. 

“Yes, yes,” Lady Emita droned. “She is a rare jewel, managing to fit in so well in Heims. It isn’t as…soft as your Kingdom.”

“She is the strongest woman I know,” I managed, my heart calming now that I knew no insults would be hurled at my sister. “But I know many strong women in Solis. In fact, I can’t say that I’ve ever met a land who embraces women in power so much.”

“That didn’t stop your father from sending you off like cattle to the first buyer,” she challenged, her lips curling on one side the same way Kaius’s did when he was thoroughly pleased with the look on my face. That look that screamed naivety. 

“You’ve had enough to drink,” Ezra cut in, plucking the goblet from Lady Emita’s grasp without care for the seething look she shot him. “And Lady or not, you’re speaking to your Queen. Mind yourself.”

“My good Hand,” Kaius grinned. “Always doing the work I don’t want to do. Corralling these socialites is no easy task, wife.”

Wife? Property. 

“Queen or not--” 

Lord Oziel’s kick to her shin under the table was so hard it rattled our plates, my face going pale at the act of aggression, at the way no one in the room paid it any mind. At least Ezra had the decency to let his magic wash away her pain. 

She’ll be fine, he assured, his voice a pleasant echo in my mind, clearing away most of the haunting thoughts lingering in my head. 

She might have a mouth, but it’s awful that Kaius allows him to treat her like that, I replied, lowering my eyes to my plate. Any idea why she hates me? 

The North has always envied the South, he said. They think you’re untried, soft, naive. 

And you?

For a moment, when I first met you, he replied while shoveling food into his mouth as ungracefully as I’d ever seen. I wasn’t sure why that made me like him more. But that judgment has long been wiped away. 

I haven’t managed to win over my husband so easily, I chided, managing a bite of my own food. The first bite I’d eaten since…I couldn’t remember. Time felt so strange here, as if it was frozen and sped up all at once. 

He looks happy, he offered. That’s as much as you can expect from him.

I expected him to be in love with me, I snapped, hating that in all my loathing and disgust, I still yearned for my husband’s approval. 

Kaius might not be in love with you, but he is in love with the fact that every single man in this room can’t take their eyes off of you, he replied, stabbing another piece of steak with his fork. Goddess above, I couldn’t stop watching him eat like an animal. Couldn’t stop imagining what else he’d do like one. 

All but you, I irresponsibly purred back, eyes fixed on him from across the table. Ezra’s eyes finally, albeit slowly, lifted to meet mine, dark brown meeting amber as I stared back. His stare flickered to my lips before lifting again, a subtle, hardly there smirk growing on his face. 

Do you like having my eyes on you, Princess? His voice was like a drug at this point, but when he lowered it like that…I worried I might be beyond the point of help when it came to my addiction to it. 

Do you want me to like it? I asked, twisting my mouth to control my growing smile as I let my eyes fall to my plate, my fork batting a few peas back and forth.

I want you to yearn for it, he managed, his voice strained with something akin to desperation. 

I didn’t have time to tell him I already did before my husband dropped his fork to his empty plate and announced dinner was over, not caring if the rest of the room hadn’t finished their meals, and that the ball would soon commence. 

“My bride, would you care to join me on the veranda?” Though I did not want to do anything of the sort, as if I had a choice, at least he went through the motions of asking. 

Say no, Ezra warned, not at all like a General or the King’s Hand, but as a friend. 

I said nothing in response, not willing to take the chance on what would happen if I denied my King anything, especially in front of his court, and accepted Kaius’s hand. 

Marigold, Ezra called again, his voice only mine to hear. I felt guilty ignoring him, but if Lady Emita showed me anything, it was that these people did not care what happened to me. Kaius could do whatever he wanted, and they’d turn a blind eye. So, I followed my husband toward the veranda, allowing the ice cold to whip across my exposed skin. 

Kaius was quick to pull me off into the shadows, where no one could see us. I couldn’t even see him as he leaned in to kiss me, a real kiss this time compared to the one we shared at the altar. His teeth bit at my lip and tongue as I struggled to keep up, struggled to want him. 

“Shall we consummate our marriage here, in front of our guests?” he rasped into my ear, his hands wandering greedily. “Do you want them to hear us? Hear my name coming from your lips?”

I certainly did not. 

“Bedroom,” I managed, breathless and dizzy and full of shame. “I want to go to your bedroom.”

Kaius had the audacity to look disappointed, but quickly grunted his agreement and tugged me back inside the warmth of the main hall. All eyes remained on us as he practically yanked me into the King’s corridor, a long, dark hall that connected his private wing to the rest of the castle. 

“Don’t get used to calling the shots,” he warned, stalking down the hall in front of me. “I’m not usually so…submissive.”

As if I needed reminding of his affinity for dominance. 

Though I’d never been touched before, at least not to this extent, I knew enough from my older sisters to know that I should be feeling at least a morsel of pleasure, but at best, sex seemed to feel more uncomfortable and foreign than anything else. It felt like a piston moving inside of me every time his hips snapped into mine. Not excruciatingly painful, but not pleasurable in the slightest. 

But I didn’t let it show out of fear of bruising the King’s ego. 

“Look at you,” he panted, reaching his large hand down to cradle my face as he drove into me, my overdramatic moans no doubt spurring him on. “So desperate for it.”

I held back my scoff. The only thing I was desperate for was for this to end. For me to fall pregnant with a healthy heir on the first try so I never had to do this again. 

I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that men kill for this, start wars over this, give up every shred of moral decency to do this very act. It must feel dramatically different for them, otherwise, I’d think they were all severe masochists.

“Open your eyes,” he snarled, slipping his hand from my cheek to my throat. My eyes flashed wide with fear as he squeezed, not enough to hurt me, but enough to show me just how easily he could. “That’s better.”

Goddess, how much longer would this go on?

As if reading my mind, Kaius bottomed out in me with a groan loud enough to hurt my ears, his body falling forward to cover mine. I waited there, absolutely still beneath him as he caught his breath, waiting for him to roll over onto his side so that we could go to sleep and, hopefully, never have to do that again. 

“Virgins are always so much better,” he mused as he finally rolled over, making my skin crawl. I turned onto my side, studying him in all his post-orgasmic bliss and wondered how such an attractive man could be so nauseating. “Would you like me to…call someone?”

I laced my brows together. “For…”

“To escort you back to your chambers,” he replied, as if it was obvious. “You didn’t think you’d be sleeping in my private quarters, did you?”

“I assumed--”

“Try not to do that,” he grunted, climbing out of bed and throwing his midnight blue, velvet robe on before pouring himself a drink. 

I looked over at the ornate candle holder on the bedside table and considered throwing it across the room at him, but managed to refrain. 

“Are you going to answer me?” he snapped, glaring at me from across the room. “Escort or no?”

“Oh,” I managed. I didn’t want some guard walking me back to my chambers in uncomfortable silence while I…processed the night. “I’ll manage on my own.”

“Good,” he nodded, tilting his chin towards the door. “You can go, then.”

Though I yearned to move quickly, my body wasn’t so ready for the hustle. I slowly climbed out of bed and ignored the sticky mess between my thighs as I slipped on my wedding gown that suddenly felt a lot heavier than before in more ways than one. Without so much as a goodbye, Kaius watched me leave from over the lip of his crystal glass, his eyes almost predatory. I knew instantly that I’d played my part too well. 

He’d come back for more, heir or not. 

I only allowed myself to breathe once the stone door of his chambers had closed, the cool air of the night drowning out the smell of his fine cologne still burning my nostrils. The guards posted along the halls of the King’s quarters didn’t look me in the eyes as I passed them, but I could still feel their desire. It made me feel sick in a way I never had before, knowing that if given a chance, each and every one of them would take it. Even if I had just been with someone else. Even with the tears streaming down my face. 

I shattered completely the minute I turned down the hall and found I was finally alone. It was all I could do not to curl up in a ball in the middle of this cold, dark corridor and weep. 

I wanted my mother. I wanted to fall into her arms and sob. I wanted to hear her voice and know that good things still existed in this world. But I was alone, and I’d always be. 

As I descended the staircase to the second floor, I could hear the festivities still raging on in the grand hall below me. The world still turned, no matter how frozen in time it was for me. 

“Your Highness?” 

My head whipped in the direction of a familiar voice. Ezra stood in the shadows of a corridor near the landing at the bottom of the grand staircase, but he wasn’t alone. Still pressed against the wall stood a breathless, flushed Lady of the Frostlands. Lady Emita. 

I felt sick again, for an entirely new reason. I hated her out of sheer jealousy, my eyes sharp as I ignored Ezra’s shocked stare. And then I hated myself for being so childish, so selfish. She was just a young woman, my age or even younger, trying to distract herself from her own brutal reality with a more age appropriate, more handsome, and charming man. 

I just wished it hadn’t been Ezra. 

“I…” I started to speak but couldn’t get the words out. My hand gestured up the staircase, towards where the King remained, basking in the afterglow of his pleasure while I…

Ezra’s face turned from shock to guilt before setting on rage, darkness so black it was blue pooling in his eyes. 

“Are you okay?” he managed through gritted teeth, staying frozen just a foot away from his blushing mistress. 

“I’ll be fine,” I replied, my voice strained as my throat tightened. He didn’t seem to believe me, but I couldn’t blame him given the tears still streaming down my face. 

“Let me walk you to your chamber,” he offered, tipping his chin towards the corridor. Lady Emita clicked her tongue at him, clearly growing impatient, but he didn’t look her way. His dark eyes remained locked on mine. “With so many guests still on the grounds—“

“No,” I said, swallowing down the lump in my throat as I walked down to the landing with my chin held high, my jealousy so rampant I wondered if my amber eyes had turned a shade of green. 

Standing closer to him, I could smell the wine on his breath, could see the remnants of lust in his eyes. I fought the urge to vomit at the thought of what I would have seen if I had stumbled upon the two of them just a few minutes later. 

“Besides,” I said, my tone icy, my eyes still sharp. “It seems as though you’re currently busy.”

“It’s my duty to ensure your safety,” he countered, still not so much as glancing at his mistress. “I will never be too busy to tend to you, Your Highness.”

“I don’t need tending to,” I gritted out. Unlike Ezra, I couldn’t help but to constantly glance at Lady Emita. And unlike Ezra, I could see just how unwilling she was to share him. 

“Princess,” he cooed, his eyes finally warming as he took one step away from Lady Emita and one step closer to me. 

“I am not a princess. I am your queen,” I said, my voice on the verge of cracking. “That will be all for tonight.”

Though his lips parted to speak, I didn’t wait to hear what came out of them. I turned and let the sound of my heels drown out their lovers quarrel as Lady Emita finally spoke, cursing him with words so colorful I knew they could have only come from her crass husband. 

I didn’t let myself cry until I was shut inside the confines of my suite, too fearful that Ezra had stubbornly followed me to ensure my safety. Too sick to sleep and too tired to think, I made myself comfortable in front of the fire in the sitting room, one of my mother’s favorite books in my hands until the world around me looked less cold and more like home.

[suffersinfandom]

gifset by seraph-novak

So there’s a critique of this scene (and Ed in season two as a whole) that I haven’t been able to shake. The post went into how the whole mermaid sequence was ruined by the rest of the season -- about how this beautiful scene was, put in the context of Ed’s behavior in the rest of season two, an ominous rebirth of a villain. The writer couldn’t see Ed as a protagonist finding the will to live; they saw a monster getting another chance to terrorize his victims.

I really hate that. I’ve already typed way too much about how I don’t think that Ed is abusive or that the Kraken Era was all that bad, so of course I disagree with any take that characterizes Ed as a monster. But do you know why this post stuck with me?

It made me unreasonably sad.

There’s a danger in over-identifying with characters (and I do think that a lot of the tension in OFMD fandom comes from over-identification), but it’s so easy for me to understand what Ed’s going through in the first three episodes of season two. I’ve been there. Judging by this post, many of us have been where Ed is. 

We’ve struggled to live while we’re drowning. We’ve been trapped and hopeless and desperate for a reason to keep going -- for someone to give us hope that things can be better. 

And we’ve also hurt people in our despair. 

When I was in my Kraken Era, I was a sick college student who’d been fighting depression since middle school. I’d just escaped a “friendship” with someone who (I can admit in retrospect) abused me mentally and emotionally, and I had no other friends because that person had effectively isolated me. I was alone and I was convinced that I was a fundamentally unlovable person who had no right to exist. 

I pushed the few people I had around me away. I isolated myself from my mother as much as I could while living in her house. I cut off communication with my online acquaintances (who would later become good friends) and didn’t speak to anyone at school. For a while, I was so focused on my pain and self hatred that I barely thought about other people. It was an intensely selfish and self-centered existence, and I hurt my mom and everyone who could’ve been a friend. When you're in that desperately hopeless, depressed mindset, you don't care about hurting people because your own pain is so all-consuming. If anything, you want to hurt others so they'll give up on you in the same way you've given up on yourself.

It’s different from what Ed did, of course, because he’s not me and I wasn’t a pirate captain with the lives of a crew in my hands. The harm I could cause was severely limited by my lack of power, but I still caused it. I was still trying to isolate and cut ties and push away anyone who could’ve helped me even when I desperately wanted help. I wasn’t a good person.

Watching Ed go through a self-destructive arc that’s immediately identifiable, deeply personal, and so well done was incredible, and seeing the show support him instead of demonizing his behavior? I have no words for the way I felt during season two’s run. 

OFMD makes Ed a sympathetic character who’s worth loving even when he’s at his lowest. It gives us a lead who fucks up when he’s in the depths of his despair and it doesn’t pity him or wave away his problems or make a monster out of him. It doesn’t even have his romantic interest save him! Instead, it lets Ed save himself when he realizes that there’s still hope and love out there. 

This show reminded me that we’re not monsters even if we’ve hurt people. It told me that recovery is possible, and so is forgiveness. It asked me to keep loving Ed through his entire arc, and in doing that, it forced me to love the parts of me that I’m still working on as well.

So I know that I shouldn’t be bothered by people who see season two Ed as an irredeemable monster who gets an undeserved second shot at life, y’know? But even though I’m a decade and a half out of my own Kraken Era, I’m still in a perpetual state of recovery. There’s always a persistent doubt -- a suspicion that there’s a fundamental flaw in me that no amount of therapy will fix -- and that doubt latched onto some random person’s conviction that Ed is a monster. It says, If Ed will always be a monster, what about you?

And I know that voice is wrong because it’s always been a liar. I know that it doesn’t matter that some portion of the fanbase turned on Ed in season two because that man isn’t real and he’s not me. I know that, for people who haven’t experienced something that was reflected in Ed’s arc, it might be difficult to sympathize with him (and with real life people who blow their lives up in their despair). 

There will always be people who don’t understand or can’t empathize with that kind of desperate hopelessness, but there are also many, many people who get it… and some of those people were clearly in season two's writer’s room. Some of those people are in this fandom.

I guess what I’m getting at is this: I hope that, if you saw yourself in Ed’s early season two story, you know that you’re not a monster and you’re not a villain in someone else’s story, no matter what anyone else says. I hope you know that you’re worthy of love. 

I hope you know you’re not alone.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Listen, I try to ensure that my praxis is entirely rooted in compassion and systems of care. I really do. And for the most part they are.

But I am human, and as a human I have a somewhat overwhelming compulsion to ensure my own survival despite the decades of depression. And if there's thing that my mother taught me, it's that you never write off any of your options when your survival is on the table. I grew up on stories of her own....less than savory actions in such circumstances. Not as glorification, but as a warning. "Never let things get to far out of hand mijita, or you'll have to live with the consequences of doing what you must. Or worse still, you won't have to live with anything ever again."

I really try to talk about labor rights and regulations calmly, reasonably, patiently. But I remember sitting in the room with my fellow worker representatives, having offered an extremely reasonable offer for tiered-priority changes the workers we'd spoken to had asked for. I remember them casually dismissing every single request of value and settling instead on two requests from the lowest priority tier: 1) quarterly training days on vicarious trauma, burnout, and other high risk health outcomes our staff were susceptible to (not DOING anything about those outcomes mind you, simply holding "awareness" based trainings on what we as individuals could do to "manage" them), and 2) casual fucking friday dress codes.

That's it.

No change to pay, no change in support around on-call routines or state of emergency response, no additional staff to ease overwork, no improved benefits, nothing but "awareness" and the right to wear fucking jeans once a week.

People had died. At the time, I WAS dying and literally couldn't logistically manage to take the time off to go to the fucking doctor. Oh sure, I had sick days. But I couldn't fucking use them, not without making everyone's life hellish.

The rail workers don't even have the pretense of sick leave. They're subject to all the same labor rights exemptions I was, and the companies aren't even bothering to pretend they could take time off to see a doctor. I just....the utter lack of humanity in politicians looking these people in the eye and saying "not only do you get nothing but take a fucking lead pipe to the kneecaps just for asking"....

At a certain point, it's no longer worth it, this whole "taking the high road". If the high road leads to the fucking slaughterhouse anyway, why not make some good trouble along the way?

[blueicequeen19]

Innocent Pt. 9

After our time together in the church, I couldn't get Rafe out of my mind. I hated to shower because then I washed his scent off me and out of my hair. I found myself tracing all the places he'd kissed me with my fingers, molding it into memory. I was infected by Rafe Cameron and I couldn't wait to see him again. I was sad to learn that he had gone to the Bahamas for a few days with his dad the next day. I don't know why I'm so disappointed that he left without a good-bye or even bothered to tell me last night when we were together. I huffed in disappointment but Leah snapped me out of it, offering me some M&M's she'd just paid for.

"It's sad, yaknow? John B and Sarah." Leah's comment snaps me out of my funk, reminding me that Rafe's sister had died and never once brought it up. And I'd never asked. Guilt seeps in deep to my bones. "Why do you look like you're going to be sick?" Leah widens her eyes at me.

"I uh, just feel bad that we didn't really know them." I lie and she knows I'm a liar.

"Whatever. I know you got the hots for Rafe Cameron." Leah calls me out just like that and nervous laughter slips from me.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I snatch the M&M's from her and pour some in my mouth. She swats at me and takes the bag back.

"Did you sleep with him? You seem different. Lighter, maybe? Like you're happy." Leah eyes me suspiciously and I cave. I spill my heart and soul about the ongoing situation that is me and Rafe Cameron and she downs M&M's like popcorn. Minutes tick by before she finds the ability to speak again.

"Do you think you'll do it again?" Leah wags her eyebrows at me and I laugh.

"I don't know. Maybe? I want to get on birth control but I can't do it without my parents finding out." I sigh.

"Just go to the clinic. Tell them you don't have insurance and you'll get it for free." Leah shrugs so casually. The last time I'd asked my mother about birth control she'd told my father and it didn't go over very well.

"Do you want to carpool to school Monday?" I changed the subject.

"Uh duh? I'll pick you up. We don't want to risk your car making us late all the time like last year." We both giggle as we finish off the M&M's. I was thankful school was starting back up so I didn't have to spend mornings hiding in my room at home. Tomorrow is Sunday which means the store is closed and Leah insists we go to the clinic to start birth control. I agree but only if she goes with me. I settle on an IUD so I don't have to worry about hiding or forgetting pills. This way my parents will never know.

Monday rolls around and the whole school is quiet over the loss of John B. Sarah went to the Kook Academy but a lot of people here still knew who she was. The whole thing was sad. I couldn't believe John B was charged with murder of the sheriff and Sarah ran off with him anyway. They took a boat head on into a tropical storm and the cops lost them, ruling their deaths an accident. They chose to die together instead of being apart if John B had gone to prison. After school, Leah takes me to the store and she's quiet the entire drive. I can tell she's having a hard time keeping her mouth shut. I'm about to call her out on it when she finally speaks.

"I heard something today." She blurts, casting me a nervous look.

"Okay? What was it?" I question, checking my phone again to find zero messages from Rafe.

"The Pogues are telling people that it wasn't John B that shot the sheriff. It was Rafe." My phone slips from my hands and hits the floor board. We roll to a stop at a stop sign and Leah meets my wide eyes. I can't think of a single thing to say. Is this why he kept saying he was a bad man? Did Rafe really kill the sheriff? He all but told me he'd hurt someone. He'd told me so many times and I hadn't listened. I thought he was just trying to scare me away.

"I thought you should know." Leah says softly as we pull up at the store. I nod and get out without another word. I relieve my mother and take over managing the store with my mind running a mile a minute. What had I done? What am I going to do?

[canvas-madness-txc]

Thoughts on Oliver Twist

The fact that Charles Dickens starts off his book basically like: "Our story starts off in a town but not one that exists in real life, but I am also not making one up" is somehow both brilliant and kinda annoying at the same time

Oliver's good spirit that had plenty of room to grow because of the fact the establishment refused to feed the orphans. That is depressing.

Mr. Bumble is efficient with his naming process. He has all the remaining letters and all the way through again once he gets to Z

Oliver makes me want to cry when he cries, he's just a little kid

The fact that they just took people away from their families instead of encouraging them to support their family is insane

Mr. Gamfield has "the slight imputation of having brushed three or four boys to death already"... thank goodness they didn't send Oliver with him

I did tell my friends that the "please sir, I want some more" came from this

I get that they're orphans, so they are outcasts but are threatening death over food necessary???

Everyone is so mean to Oliver for no reason :(

There is something particularly gross and horrifying when the undertaker, Mr. Sowerberry proposes to make Oliver a "mute" (someone who goes to funerals and cries) specifically for other children's funerals.

Dickens calling himself Oliver's biographer and using the first person as if he's actually telling the story to us is always something that makes me happy in his books. I like it when he speaks personally of his characters like he knows them

"He'll murder me!" You insulted his dead mother. Can't blame Oliver on this one

He's not a murderer. He shook Noah a few times, but he's still alive and well, just sobbing with a black eye. It would definitely hurt, but he'll live

The fact that they blame Oliver's actions on meat and being overfed is so weird 😐. Oliver deserved to run away

Dick is so sweet despite being prepared to die from sickness

"The blessing was from a young childs lips, but it was the first that Oliver had ever heard invoked upon his head; and through the struggles and sufferings, and troubles and changes, of his after life, he never once forgot it" my heart

Fagin, Bates, and Dodger kinda treat Oliver better even when the pickpocket things throw it off. They probably should've warned him before he was caught as a "thief" or, not betrayed him

At least Fagin is upset over it, even when it backfires in Mr.Sike's face. They do bother planning to look for him by asking Nancy to. It's kinda selfish that they do it so he won't tell, but they are worried for their own survival as well

Mr. Brownlow and Mrs. Bedwin seems to be the only people who care for Oliver genuinely 100% of the time

Fagin is called "The Jew" more often than he is his actual name

Nancy talking about how she thieves for them for 12 years :(

Oliver keeps getting betrayed and left behind. He got shot, and they just left him!! Fortunately, someone always cones to find him, whether or not it's with good intentions kinda reignites the problems

Mr. Bumble gets married and is completely degraded by his wife's sharp wit in only 8 weeks.

Rose is an angel, no questions asked

SIKES JUST KILLED NANCY NOOOO

NOOO DICK DIED TOO 😭

Fagin is also dead for his compliance in the murder

Sikes dies in the most catastrophic way possible, fitting.

At least everyone else got the fates they deserved, good and bad :)

[skylarstark4826]

Shuri, who is born with a name already engraved on her wrist, doesn't bother to look it up on any Wakandan registry, already making peace with the fact that she will find no matches. It wouldn’t take a genius (though Shuri prides herself on the fact that she is one) to recognize her soulmate, with his name spelled in foreign characters, is not a Wakandan citizen nor is he of Wakandan descent. 

At seven, she starts studying her soulmate’s language in secret. If in case he did not speak any of her languages, then Shuri will be there to communicate with him in his mother tongue. By the end of the month, she has already mastered writing the alphabet, and her free time is spent poring over the books in her soulmate’s culture. 

By twelve, Shuri grows impatient. She ponders the idea of becoming a War Dog and thinks of being assigned to the offshores of Mexico, dreaming of finally putting a face to the name on her wrist. Ultimately, she decides against it, content to stay in her lab to search for other, more alternative ways to find him, wherever he may be. 

When her brother is suddenly taken by sickness, Shuri temporarily holds off the topic of soulmates, and trades in her knowledge of history and linguistics for biochemical engineering and medicine. 

On the eve of her brother’s passing, Shuri is no closer to finding her soulmate, though she has since stopped looking. 

—

Shuri touches the painted walls of Namor’s grotto and starts to recall long-forgotten memories. As her fingers trace the waves, she is reminded of the warriors who speak her soulmate’s tongue. For years she had wondered what he would look like and now…

Now there is a slim chance that her soulmate might be blue. 

“It did not help my case when the Spanish priest had seen my bare skin, devoid of any mark, and branded me as el niño sin amor shortly after. I have reserved that name for my enemies ever since.” 

“So, I’m taking you don’t have a soulmate?”

There is a knowing glint in his eye when he says,  “I did not say that.” Then his gaze wanders briefly downward, leading to her arm. Where her mark is. 

Shuri, remembering that she is without her kimoyo beads, clutches her arm closer to her chest. One of her prerequisites during its early design stages was for the beads to be big enough to hide soulmate marks, so as to deter people from asking too many questions. A prerequisite that, up to now, Shuri still thanks her younger self for coming up with. 

To her surprise, Namor’s brows do not furrow in confusion, unlike the warrior who had bested Okoye. Nor does he glare at her in suspicion, much unlike the warrior next to him who had killed the American officers in cold blood. No, instead, the edge of his lips quirks in silent delight as he appraises her. 

He moves to grab her hand and brings it closer, Shuri along with it. She frowns at his boldness. The nerve of him, touching her without permission. She has to bite her tongue before any insults could fly, reminding herself that she is still a guest in his home and the probability of her negotiations ending in success depends solely on the extent of her self-control. 

“Your warriors took a good look at my wrist back there. They wouldn’t happen to know anyone with this name, would they?” She mentally sends Riri an apology and hopes the young scientist will find it in her heart to forgive Shuri for her selfishness. Surely she would understand if she delayed the negotiations for a few minutes. Just until she can wean out the identity of her soulmate. Perhaps maybe even his whereabouts if she asks nicely enough. 

Namor thumbs the pulse point located below her wrist, fingertips touching the edge of the second character. Shuri notes how big his hand is compared to hers, how easily it encompasses her slim wrist, but thinks nothing more of it. She had to focus. “They had looked at it because you are the first surface dweller in years to have a name borne from Talokan. And a princess no less.” He says simply, nodding like he has confirmed something in his head before letting her go. “But no, they wouldn’t know who it is.”

Her wrist is aflame, but it doesn’t deter her from asking, “But you do?”

Namor shows her his teeth and Shuri cannot stop thinking of a great white shark. 

“I do.” 

Before Shuri can question him further, he is already unclasping one of his bracers. When it drops to the floor, Shuri watches its descent. When the sound of its clanging reverberates along the walls of his hut as it slowly slides under his hammock, Shuri watches it, still. Namor raises his forearm to her face and the last few echoes of the golden accessory are the furthest thing on her mind right now. 

The words register immediately, but Shuri still has to blink—once, twice, just to make sure that what she is seeing is actually real. If her mind has decided that now was the perfect time to start playing tricks on her before she wakes up to find herself in her own bed. But the image does not leave her and the words do not change no matter how many times she repeats them in her head. 

There, on his wrist, is her name in familiar Wakandan text, barely legible to anyone save perhaps the author and its wearer. There, between the lifelines and long blue veins, is Shuri Udaku, written in rushed, easy strokes like she had been writing it in haste and proper penmanship was merely an afterthought. 

It is a shame, Shuri thinks, her head still reeling. Her soulmate is stuck with the chicken scratches she makes while running on seven cups of caffeine and pure genius, when usually her handwriting was neat and orderly. 

In one of her earliest memories, before her parents realize her mind would not be properly stimulated in a normal Wakandan school and decide to switch her to higher and higher grade levels, Shuri is five and showing her father a poem written by her own hand. She is sitting on her baba's knee and starts to talk of the baobab trees that grow strong and tall in Wakandan soil before he takes a peek at her paper and smiles, complimenting her on her shorthand. Five-year-old Shuri smiles too, preening at the praise. 

Now Shuri is twenty-four and does not sit on anyone’s knee nor does she write any more poetry about baobab trees. Instead, she stands with her feet planted directly on the ground, her spine ramrod straight, and swallows. The shock, the disbelief, the outrage–all of it goes down her throat, heading towards her esophagus. Her stomach ingests it in the silence. 

Her name might be on his wrist, but that does not mean he was her soulmate by default. There are many cases in which one half of a soulmate pair share a name and the other does not, which is rare, yes, but not impossible. On top of it all, Shuri is by no means an idiot and if he takes her for one then he will be greatly disappointed. She knows how to write his name in Mayan lettering and no matter how many ways she can put it, in how many ways she may twist it, K’uk’ulkan will never, not even in a million years, match the name on her wrist. 

Because how can Shuri ever accept the fact that this immortal god-king, who has trapped her with him in the cold dark caves he calls his home, and her mysterious soulmate (who, at this point, had practically been a childhood relic left hidden in the recesses of her subconscious) be one and the same?

As if reading her mind, he says, “You don’t trust me, I understand. But I told you this once before, princess, and now I will tell you again. I have many names. For my people, I am called K’uk’ulkan. For my enemies, I am Namor. But for my pixan gemela, for you, I am Cha’ah Toh Almehen."

Shuri blanched. “Can you prove it?”

Namor smirks almost as if he had expected her answer. With gentle hands, he picks up the bracelet Shuri has been eyeing ever since she walked into his hut and places it on her waiting hands. 

Shuri’s brows furrow at this, but he only juts his chin in the direction of the bracelet, silently urging her to inspect it. Though her head is still filled with doubt, she starts to examine the bracelet’s intricate jade beading. Her fingers run along its faint bumps and ridges carefully before she freezes in place. She has traced these lines before, hasn’t she?

In her lab, when she pauses her work to rest and takes off her kimoyo beads to massage tired wrists. In sleepless nights, when she tosses and turns in bed and brings a hand to cover her face. In the mornings, when she wakes up and it’s the first thing she sees—

All of a sudden, her head shoots up, almost smacking the side of Namor's skull. She looks at him, eyes wide and full of barely concealed emotion. “It’s really you,” she gasps, and he grins as he closes the distance between them.

Her soulmate might smell of the sea, but she finds that his tongue does not share any of its salt. Shuri is just grateful that her first kiss doesn’t taste like fish. 

—

“It would please me greatly if you accept this simple token of affection,” he says, already tying his mother’s bracelet to her wrist without waiting for an answer. “I have kept it close to my heart so that my uláak' chúumuk could wear it and think of me.”

They sit at the entrance of his hut, where Shuri can see her reflection in the water and Namor holds her hand with a certain reverence. It must have been hours now, she notes, since he had shown her his kingdom and yet his grip on her does not once falter. Not even when the bracelet is already safely secured on her wrist. 

She notices the size of it first; big enough to fully cover her mark. Almost like it was designed specifically for her in mind. Shuri is reminded of the promise made to his mother and, in a way, that might hold true. “It's very beautiful,” she says, in awe at the way the pearls shine against her skin. 

Namor brings her hand up to meet his cheek, and her thumb moves to feel the soft skin underneath. He sighs, leaning into her touch. “For years, I had dreamt of this day, wondering what name you would carry with you. Whether it was the name my people called me or if it would be the name that belonged to my enemies. Recently, I have even toyed with the idea that I may find both. But it is a great comfort to reunite with the name my mother gave me, even after all this time.”

Shuri’s eyes glance briefly at the water, her distorted reflection returning her slight frown, then back to him. “No one calls you by this name?”

His head shakes sadly and his beard starts to dig at her skin following the movement, tickling her. “I only allowed my mother to use it. My ears have grown used to hearing the same two names after she passed.” 

Until me. Her brain supplies, but she dare not voice it out.

“Would you like me to call you by Cha’ah Toh, then—only when it's just the two of us?”

Namor smiles then and Shuri thinks, not for the first time that night, how utterly beautiful he looks like this. She has seen his kingdom and even witnessed his vibranium sun in all its glory but none can compare to her soulmate’s kind warm eyes glittering against the low lights, looking contentedly at her like she was something to be worshipped. Like just the mere sight of her was enough to bring joy to his face. 

He kisses the inside of her palm, still smiling. “If it would only please you.”

Later, he will have to leave her for the surface, where her mother waits, but not without kissing the name–his name–on her wrist one final time, his nosepiece cooly pushing at the edge of her hand. Playfully, he will start to plant soft kisses on the pads of each of her fingers before she shoos him away, giggling at his antics.  

Later, she will be whisked away and leave death at her wake. Later, she will look at her mark in anger and she will hide the bracelet where it will find no light. Later, Shuri will see him as nothing but a curse to wear for the rest of her life. 

But here, in the now, she is with her soulmate who looks at her with stars in his eyes and warmth in his heart. Here they sit in comfortable silence, facing each other, and Shuri starts to envision a future with this man. One where she is not burdened with duty nor is she haunted by death. 

In her head, there is already an image of her smiling. This Shuri wears delight on her face like it belongs there. There is no grief to tug down at the corners of her mouth because he is there to kiss it away. 

[sacha1slytherin]

Not me and my mum (we are 2 women, and if you known from my posts from in the past, my mum has Rheumatoid Arthritis, so things are very difficult for her to do in that condition,) getting some groceries at night, and like any other person we of course stood in line to wait until we could check them out with the cashier, but then of course a clearly drugged out grown man then comes barging in front of us with alcohol in his hands, demanding, yes demanding that he stand in front of us seeing as he didn't have much to check out.

Now, see here, we didn't understand the man's intentions at first, nor what he was saying seeing as he did not speak our language (he was speaking German I later realised, which I do speak a little of but I could not for the life of me understand him, seeing as he was clearly not fluent in the language himself..), but when I told him to stand in line like everyone else (because there were people behind us as well, waiting for their own turn) he then started to cus us out aloud in Turkish then, which my mother understood (mind you, she isn't Turkish, she's just fluent in it, and in 4 other languages, but that's besides the point), and she rightly then got angry at the man, and said to him that for every bad or good thing he wished us, that it would turn back at him (it's a saying), seeing as he cursed us out in the name of god (like how dare u). The bastard then of course backed away, seeing as my mother wasn’t someone to take anyone's crap like that. He then, of course, bothered a man then (who had little kids mind u) a bit further away from us, who was just going to check out his groceries, until that druggie then barged into him, and the man then let him go before him, seeing as he didn't want to get into anything with the sick bastard.

But urggg the audacity of these so called 'men', what makes them think they can act like that? Especially to women? But just people in general???

If it were an elderly person instead, or a little child, then of course I would've let them pass without them even asking me for it, but that was a goddamned grown arse man. A druggie at that.

Like screw him!

Sorry for the rant, I just had to let off some steam somehow...😅