#and im trying to be healthier

[tomasz-the-hater]

it must have been said already by someone more eloquent than me, but i find it fascinating how lestat and armand mirror each other in terms of power dynamics and gender roles.

we have lestat. 'how can i say no to you' lestat. the stark father and maker to claudia and somehow later louis, the one that the new orleans tour guide mentions as the master of the house, the one that will not have claudia leave. his violence is loud and physical and outward, his sadism is somewhat acknowledged by him yet keeps happening. he almost kills louis when they fight by his, lestat's, own actions. he regrets it, sure, louis responds to his attacks often, sure. the violence between them is open.

not bothering to clean, only insisting that louis does eat. up to a certain point he even finances louis' wishes and whims. he is promiscuous, he gets lover(s), he is often (though not always) the first to make his desires known (considerable considerables etc etc).

despite the attributes that are considered unmanly (flair for dramatics, inclination to theatre and arts, queerness), he remains the more traditionally masculine figure in the relationship. he is the patriarch of the family, or at least he presents himself in that way in louis' memories.

(it, of course, does not mean that louis falls into the traditionally feminine role. the dichotomy of traditional heterosexual/heteronormative marriage is not fully applicable to even straight relationships because it is primarily a cultural ideal.)

we have armand. 'are you asking, maitre' armand. famously a victim, agentless by his own belief and volition. saying louis can leave in san francisco, yet staying in power by a) mind control (yay!), b) lies, manipulation, witholding information and c) care. he is also violent. he orchestrates louis (and claudia's, and madeleine's) death, yet is discrete about it to the very end; he saves and cares for louis after his suicide attempt, yet all of it is hidden behind mind control for five decades after.

picking lint off the sofa, cleaning up after louis (or claiming to do so) gives armand control over what is seen and what is not, what is kept and what goes. a humble servant rashid. it also gives him a great guilt tripping point: whatever louis does, armand just has to clean up after him, and isn't louis grateful for that? while not stated directly (i think), louis investments in art and real estate are the main source of money for loumand. lastly, an ex-prostitute, armand the one to lay face down while being fucked and seems to have no outside lovers (or louis just has more, ie 128).

not completely feminine, as aren't his gremlin nature and the ultimate violence and power that he keeps over louis both in the '70s and 2022 stay; yet armand still seems pretty much submissive, or wants to be that himself and for louis to be dominant (servant-master, arun-maitre), all the while keeping some control from the shadows. he is the quiet daniel's been longing for, the vacuming valium wife.

the first was louis' husband unforgettable through 77 years of marriage. the second was the proclaimed love of his life and a partnership to spite the first that may have grown into love but not enough to forget lestat. active violent power and shadowy mind control. a kind of husband and a kind of wife to louis, both defining him in and out of partnership

[sleepyminty]

Why is it that fandoms with their games made by the same company hate each other so much whereas this is the opposite?

[anarchopuppy]

I don't mean this in a bad way, and feel free not to answer if you don't want to, but I'm curious as to why you changed your typing style along with your transition (godspeed btw)

i reinvented a lot of myself, the name, gender, and pronouns were just part of it. ngl i spent so long so deeply depersonalized after burning out from my last job that it truly feels like my old personality "died" and i had to build a new one from scratch

[werewolfbarista]

no........could it be ....? new stretch marks above my hips..............?! quick, someone praise me‼️‼️

[feline-evil]

Dethvanity is really funny to me conceptually as an episode because you can see how little they had to make the characters insecure about for the bit. They swing for obvious lowblow choices with Pickle' baldness and Nathan's weight and even those require some suspension of disbelief because ok. Sure. Nathan '(said extremely proudly) never skipped a meal in my life!' Explosion is insecure about being a big man now. Nathan *guy who everyone thinks is smoking hot 99% of the time* Explosion is a tiny bit larger than usual and is insecure about it now. Lol. Lmao even.

But anyway then we hit Skwisgaar and Toki and there's like NOTHING to swing for, you can see them going uhhh ok Skwis doesn't sleep he probably drinks a lot of coffee, and Toki? Shit, what does Toki have to be insecure about with his looks. He's perfect, he's adorable, he's ripped. Um. FUCK IT, HE'S DOING NOTHING BUT EATING LEMONS. WE GOT NOTHING, WE GOT NOTHING, JUST GIVE THE BOY CITRUS FRUITS.

WOE 🍋 BE UPON YE

I'm sure i could make some smarter points about the attempts at applying vanity in this ep and how outside of this and a few other moments i do actually like that the show rarely takes pot shots at things like Nathan's weight, but you see Nathan has shirtless scenes in this one and so my intelligence is impeded when all the blood rushes out of my head and into my-

[goodluckclove]

Still on break but starting to miss my novel. Thought about it literally every day. Definitely not starting work again till next week I need the break I need the break I

[darkestaken]

day one of my sugar purge,,,,

[bunnihearted]

ཻ۪۪♡.

[tanicus-caesareth]

guarana drama, damage control

[okitanoniisan]

i keep saying i need to make some zhaoryu shit but i'm back on my y5 kazusaeji bullshit again they are just so. m

[br1ghtestlight]

had enough of eating unhealthy takeout food so im gonna try roasting some vegetables w/ seasonings for dinner tonight everybody wish me luck

[a-dash-in-the-middle]

sleepy and hungry but i already got the chicken out this morning so i have to cook

[evignonita]

uhghhg buzz grunt..... 😢..

[heyitslapis]

I need to get more Normal

[cosmic-ships]

My f/o making a soft comfy spot for me on the floor in the living room for me to pass out onto is self care.

Imagining my f/o coming with me to the bathroom so I can squeeze their hand when I'm in pain and then reassuring me and not being grossed out is self care.

My f/o reminding me to drink a lot of water so it flushes out those nasty little bacterias is self care.

My f/o helping and reminding me to take my antibiotics in the morning and before bed is self care.

My f/o comforting and reassuring me when I'm having a break down because I'm so sick of this constant state of my body shutting down or having something wrong with it is self care...

I just want to be better.. :c

[gengarpng]

God I think im gonna have to just start buying my own white meat/vegan protein and making my own dinners bc my plea of "hey can we not have red meat 6 times a week" resumes being ignored.

Nd my sister got mad when I asked bc she was like "well people complain when we have chicken too often" (I absolutely did not complain but sure lump me in with the people who did.)

So now I guess she can be annoyed with me for not eating what she makes lol.