#and im. so tempted to just bullshit it but i really want this grade.

[andromacheflints]

i love the whole world violently. and i dont want to finish this paper

[kastartss]

I really need help with my mental health condition, please take your time to read my story (if you are willing to only)

Here’s an introduction. Hey, my (not real) name is Kat. I’m 14 (yes, I know, a literal fetus) and I’m from Vietnam.

Two weeks ago, I was diagnosed with anxiety, and honestly, I was not surprised. But then the more I think about it, the more I realize that I have had it for almost my entire life, and I have only been around for 14 years. I felt my social anxiety kick in when I was about in year one in primary school. I remember how bubbly I was of a toddler, always waving and saying hi to adults in my neighborhood. But then I went to school and things changed. I got 2 close friends, let’s call them A and P. I hung out with them, but before I had those two friends, I never recall being in a place without friends. In kindergarten, as far as I could remember, I have many friends. So when I go to school for the first time, I didn’t have close friends. I was still bubbly at the time, talking to kids in my class, but in break time, I have no one to talk with. Even after I got A and P as my friends, sometimes they would gang up on me and I would have total breakdowns and sitting alone, feeling betrayed because no one likes me.

I think that's when I started being less of an exuberant child. I noticed that I have stopped waving to adults, I became more terrified of being around strangers or performing on stage (which was a thing I did all the time in kindergarten). And as time goes on, I develop the fear of trivial things, getting worried every time I go on a trip or holiday (eg. fear that the plane will crash, fear that there would be tsunami at the beach, etc.) or having existential crisis or death related worries. And then when I reach grade four, I got my first crush, I spent all night crying because wow, new emotion unlocked. He’s this sporty boy, sitting next to me in classes, and guess what? He had a crush on my then best friend. I slowly realize, when I reach secondary school, that I am less valuable than many. 

On the second week of sixth grade (secondary school), I had a mental breakdown and I stayed in the bathroom for the entire English lit lesson. The teachers found me, but I couldn’t explain why I ran away. I found it too embarrassing. I ran away because every seats next to a girl is taken and I would’ve had to sit next to this big, scary boy. I didn't know why I felt that way, why I panicked over such a small and stupid thing, but that night I went home, told my mom school’s fine, and found a knife to just end myself.

But of course I didn’t. I was afraid of getting hurt. I was afraid of seeing the life leaving my body. And I remember my mom telling me my life is the most important thing I have.

The reason I’m afraid of getting hurt is pretty damn simple: my mom hit me all the time as a kid. I’m not traumatized by it. But do I cry at night, getting upset and guilty about the things I did to deserve it? Yes, yes I did. But did I think much of it or find ways to stop getting hit? No, no I didn't. I got hit all the time for lying, for not obeying, for being lazy. But my mom really loves me, she does. She yelled at me, she slapped me, she threw books at my face, humiliated me sometimes in public, and hit me with broomsticks and clothes hangers because she said “she wanted the best for me”. She wanted me to change for the better but haha jokes on her, the more she hit me the more stubborn I get. And so update: I’m still getting hit by her for doing shits recently. I have questioned if it’s abusive or not, because I know she got anger issues and she said that herself, to not let her get angry. But in my country, getting hit by your moms is like a casual thing. It’s like depression jokes, we joke about our fucked up mental health and in my place we joke about getting hit my our moms. It's too common that I don't know if it’s abusive or not anymore, that’s one thing I need help on.

Back to the main story. So sixth grade is the time I start feeling conscious about my body. I’m gonna bluntly say this: my body is disproportionally fat. It was as a kid, and it still is now. My legs and arms are normal, not too skinny, but normal, but my body, the torso and chest area, oh boy, that's where all the fat is. If my body fat is spread out evenly, I wouldn’t have complained, it would be beautiful. But despite how much I tried, the fat would only be in that area, and I look ugly in everything. I got self conscious when we did a movie project, I got self conscious when I have to wear stage costumes, and I start acknowledging that I’m not the popular girl. I don't get why girls my age use lipstick and make up, and how they have money to buy expensive clothes. I was naïve, and I wanted to be like them: popular and valued by people. I was the wallflower, no one knows me except my few friends and I don't expect them to. I started developing a mindset that no one remembers me, and I’m insignificant. 

Grade seven, I changed school. And it’s when I found out about fandoms. I liked Harry Potter, and I wrote some fanfictions that one of my friends encourage me to post it on Wattpad, so I did. That’s when I made internet friends, and I got exploited to issues like lgbtqa+, pop culture, and mental health. One of my internet friends, let’s call her W, is queer and got depression. That’s when I started digging deep in these issues, learning about mental health and how to help people with them. And that’s when I start realizing I may have a mental health problem. W attempted suicide last year, in 2017. Fortunately, she survived. I had spent many nights texting her out of it, cheering her up, and the more I’m around her, the more I discover about myself.

This year, I’ve learnt things about myself that I would've had no idea about two years ago. I identify as bisexual, and thinking about a year ago, I still thought being gay is unfortunate. In my country, same sex marriage is legal, but is not very welcomed by the people and is considered a touchy subject. Many consider it an illness and pity people whom identify as such. Generally, no one really cares until it’s their children. My mom didn't like it. She thinks it’s a phase (classic.) and being bi would bring disadvantages to my life (she’s very wrong I daresay it’s literally 20gayteen and two women from the Bachelor Vietnam just ditched the guy for each other???) and that makes me doubt if my mom is ever right (she’s very convincing in most situations, unfortunately). 

I also learnt about my anxiety, like I noted. Two weeks ago, I seek help from the school counselor after being tempted to kill myself out of pure self hate. I have had extreme self hate for the last month but I thought it’s normal. One event that lead to me thinking this way is that one fight I had with my parents that my mom threatened to jump off the window to die and to leave the house forever, she said how terrible I am and I felt like being slapped across the face being it just hit me then: I am terrible. When I was younger I thought people don't like me because im ugly and I really wanted them to like me for my personality. But then the fight happen and I found out: im ugly both inside and outside. That’s when I started to lose hope, my grades (which was going bad before) got worse and when I got a bad result for maths finals, I got devastated and got a panic attack. I climbed to the tallest floor in my school building and lie there, falling asleep and let my mind shut down. My plan was to jump off the building and end my life but the door to outside was locked so I just curled up there and cry. I got found two hours later, and the teachers told me absolute bullshit because my country is absolutely obsolete about mental health. 

It just got worse and worse since March. My mom says I should stop being lazy, stop procrastinating, be more productive and I hate being at home, because my mom use my bedroom as her workplace and I have no privacy. I have to face my mom all day in summer, and that drove me crazy. Even when I had the chance to go to England for a month for summer camp, I still feel insignificant and lonely when I stare at the crowds being happy. My anxiety is super clear, but oh boy how funny I was. 

I thought I was faking it. I thought all of this is me wanting people to pity me, so I have to fake my anxiety and depression. Most of the times I look up for symptoms of depression and anxiety, I hope those symptoms match. Because I wanna be right, I don't wanna be an attention seeker, I want something to blame for my behaviors. 

All the tests I took for depression tell me I have severe depression. But some days I don't feel down or anything. I just felt fine, and deep down I feel guilty for not caring, because does this mean i’m faking my mental illness oh my god. I have a girlfriend. We broke up once, and now we are talking again. She’s in America and we only can text each other, but I don't feel like im ever good enough for her. All I feel is self hate and unworthiness. 

This is the thing I want you guys to help me about: Do I really have these mental illnesses? Am I making it up? Am I just paranoid and crave attention?

The thing that makes me doubting myself is the fact that around me, many kids are raised like me. Being hit my their moms, have the same education, but they’re not depressed. they don't have social anxiety. They’re doing alright. So I’m afraid this is because I got myself into this myself by going on the internet and reading about gay shits and befriend depressing people and got this myself. I’m afraid I’m making this up to be relevant. 

Please help me with this, or just reblog to help me find an answer. I’m so sorry I’m wasting your time. But please, I need to find myself. I don't want to feel suicidal again.

[goodguidanceptc]

Ironman New Zealand Race Report  March 2, 2019

Welcome masochists and insomniacs. When people ask me about my races, I usually try to deliver a balance of facts (split times, data, total race time) and feelings (mind & body perceptions, key moments) in an entertaining yet succinct report. As usual, that often means STRONG LANGUAGE. Here goes:

Prologue:

A few weeks prior to the trip, I learned that I’d been selected for the “Ironman New Zealand Experience,” an online contest, administered with typical Kiwi approach by the local council. Read: relaxed, with ZERO Ironman lawyers involved. Six men and six women were selected--based on online posts--to learn a haka, perform at the athlete dinner and attend an after-race luncheon that included a presentation and performance of Maori history and traditions. 

I suspect my "pick me! pick me!” post got me plucked from a small applicant pool. Supporting evidence: of the twelve selected, two others were my training buddies from Chicago, Christine B. and Bernie Mc. SIDE NOTE: Each winner was allowed one additional guest at the luncheon--so a very special thanks to Christine for graciously counting my wife as her guest which meant I had both my wife and son at the luncheon.

Haka is Maori for “breathe fire.” Historically, hakas were performed by Maori warriors prior to battle. These days they are performed ceremonially to celebrate major milestones (marriage, retirement), honor important guests or--perhaps most notably--to intimidate opponents at athletic events (here’s a link). Outside of New Zealand, the most famous and awe-inspiring hakas are performed my the Maori All-Blacks National Rugby team prior to each match. 

I learned that there are hundreds of haka versions, each with its own inherent weight baked into the story it’s presenting. Although it was very different than the aggressive, male-only, pre-battle version the All-Blacks perform, I personally felt a tremendous honor and reverence for the one we learned.

The haka preserves indigenous culture, energetically injects traditional language into a modern forum, gathers and channels group energy by seamlessly melding ritual gesture and movement with raw emotion. It all adds up to a sum greater than it’s parts that’s simultaneously respectful and rebellious. Taken as a whole, the haka is something like how the Incredible Hulk would dance if the Incredible Hulk danced.

All of which is just to say that before I even started the race, I’d already experienced that tremendous joy that comes with receiving an unexpectedly perfect gift. IMNZ was already a success before the race even started. Now, let’s get back to facts...

Total race time = 11:33

Not a PR, but a mature result. “Mature?” you may be wondering, “Really?” Granted, few people would describe anything I do as mature, so perhaps a better word is un-deluded. Why? Because plantar fasciitis made for a “No-Run November” (all long runs performed in a pool), I hadn’t done enough resistance training, and winter holidays not only make it impossible to train, they make it nearly impossible to fuel properly. 

In his book, Elite Minds, Dr. Stanley Beecham suggests giving yourself a W when you trained your best and an L if you didn’t. My record for this training sequence (Nov-Feb) was 89-20-11. ( I gave myself T for Ties on days when training went right but something else went bad...usually diet.) In other words, a respectable-but-not-stellar W average (.741) earned a respectable-but-not-stellar result.

But still, the haka was awesome.

Pre-Race

Slept well. Ate well. No mechanical issues. Huddled briefly with most of the training buddies and Iron sherpas prior to warming up properly in the water.

Swim (1:06 total swim time)

Clear sighting, aggressive line, good tactics (drafted when possible), and even got some help from the current towards the end. That said, the two turn buoys at the far end were both a raucous scrum. First time I ever took a hard shot to the lip. My best swim ever. 

T1 (7:49)

"T1 is a 400 meter run from the swim out...” My ass. If that’s 400 meters, I’m Leslie Jones from SNL. Plus, AFTER the “400 meters,” a winding grass staircase comparable to any third-floor-walk-up or Wisconsin helix--easily another +50 meters at an +8% grade.

Once I did get up Mount Metric Bullshit, I moved right along. Sprayed on some sunscreen, stuffed a plastic bag under the regular bike jersey with some light gloves (in case it was nippy for the first hour), shoes on in the tent. Go.

Bike (5:38, technically a bike PR)

Two loops. Windy? A tad. The outbound tailwind was so strong, I struggled to maintain target watts. Get that? I didn’t have to pedal as hard as I’d trained to because I was easily traveling +20 mph on flat sections. Ditched the plastic bag and gloves at the first aid station because it was sunny and mild and I was feeling really great. Of course, logic dictates that inbound would be a shitstorm. Which it was. Oy. Mixed with some crosswinds too just in case you, oh I dunno...tried to pee on the bike and took too long...or wanted to take in some nutrition. Nasty. I caught myself using a bastardized mantra from IMAZ, “Frontside fast side, backside strong side” which morphed into “Out bound, throw down; In bound, get down.” whenever I was tempted to chase or draft.

A word on drafting: it’s illegal in Ironman races. BUT! By slipping into the draft zone of somebody passing faster than you are passing then letting them go, you can save energy and still stay within the letter and spirit of the rule. That said, 12 meters = 6ish bike lengths so don’t be the fucko that lingers.

Repeated that song and dance inbound on both loops. It’s a terrible thing when you can’t stay in aero-position because you gotta pee but can’t pee because the wind stuffs any momentum you need to keep your leg straight long enough to break the seal. But it WILL keep you legal.

For you data geeks: Normalized Power was 197 but I AVERAGED 20 m.p.h.

Another notable: the bone-shaking chip-seal they use to pave most New Zealand roads. It just rattled my whole rig from pedals to fingertips to helmet. That shit literally rattled my Torpedo bottle right out from between my aero-bars about halfway through. I’d already taken in the nutrition so I left it (apologies to all the Tidy Kiwis and the whole leave-it-like-you-found-it philosophy) and just held fresh bottles in with my thumbs as needed.

T2 (4:13)

Efficient but could have been a tad quicker. At this point in the race, I was on plan, feeling good and ready to attack the run. Nutrition was on point. Legs were solid, stomach was a non-issue and weather conditions were near ideal. Sunny and delightful low 70s. I was actually looking forward to Run Special Needs where I’d planted a fresh shirt and an extra bottle of nutrition.

Run (4:36 aka: avg 10:39/mi)

I went sub-4 hours in Louisville under raining mid-40 degree conditions. If I could have just matched that, I’d have delivered a juicy PR of under 11 hours.

It seemed reasonable that flat IM-LOU shitstorm would vaguely equate to hilly IM-NZ sunny delight, yes? 

No.

That three loop run over what my training bro Andrew T. would call offensive hills was having none of that nonsense. Turns out, I was woefully undertrained. My legs were just not up to the second and third loop of hills, despite biking to plan, executing nutrition properly, and taking the first loop at a very easy RPE.

In past reports I’ve shared some of the actual mental chatter that runs through my head but in this case none of my mantras were very interesting or helpful. What I have learned to do when I’m truly falling apart is to reinvest in technique. Focus on the extremely immediate present, which I used to counter punch one particularly angry and persistent neg that I just couldn’t shake. See if you can pick it out of the following scientifically gathered brainwave transcription:

...chatter-chatter-chatter...BREATHE...left-right-left-right-Toe-off-knees-up-hands-up-lean-easy-at-the-ankles-glutes-tucked-somebody-fucking-LIED-to-me-goddamBREATHE!-Toe-off-knees-up-hands-up-lean-easy-at-the-ankles-glutes-tucked-somebody-fucking-LIED-to-me-goddamnit-Toe-off-left-right-left...chatter-chatter-chatter...BREATHE

On a slightly more-vulnerable note, I will share this: typically, a few tears leak out at special needs. Hormones? Pain? Mental breakdown/relief that the marathon is half over? All of the above, probably. Just a few moments of a grown man losing it. (Do NOT watch Ricky Gervais’ After Life while jet lagged. But DO watch it. Amazing. Shut up. Don’t judge my process.)

Anyway, I was all business during the Special Needs of this run but lost it right after a particularly steep descend where some guardian bros had set up an “unofficial aid station” consisting of Red Bull, handles of vodka, and liters of Jaegermeister. A runner just ahead of me had grabbed something off their card table and their robust cheering were suddenly horrific screams warning him off of chugging it. I was just tickled and toasted at the same time and it all came gushing out. Just all kinds of quads burning gasping ugly face craughing (learned that word from a tweet praising After Life, btw). Of course my male ego would NEVER allow me to overly express vulnerability in front of the drunken bros, thoughtful though they were. So I kept running. A woman running along side me kindly asked if I was okay, I said, “Oh...yeah...this...just happens,” between gulping breaths, “The good...news...is...it’s much...later...than usual.” Which cracked her up, so... y’know, pay it forward.

After slogging my way through the third loop, and making my way through the finishing chute, where the normally incomparable Mike Reilly butchered my last name, I was told that I’d been on the leaderboard during the bike and immediately fell off during the run.

So even though I did not over-bike, I did under-train. Plus, I did not need to go directly to Medical in shock, which suggests that my race plan, nutrition strategy and execution was pretty spot on. IMAZ was a PR of 11:19 and IMNZ was 11:33.

OVERALL RACE GRADE: C. Just a C. 

OVERALL EXPERIENCE GRADE: A+

As with prior races, IMNZ yielded some incremental improvements. As I said at the top, this was a mature result, with which I am unsatisfied. I haven't yet done my best race. I haven’t yet DONE MY BEST. There is clearly opportunity for improvements to all five aspects of my racing:

Swim was well executed. Still room for growth.

Bike was properly executed. Adequate. If anything, I could have pushed more.

Run. Ugh. Time to throw myself into Runner’s World and CARA and make like Forrest Gump and Prefontaine and Mo. Also, back to Hokas. Or maybe Altras. The Brooks I ran in were farts. The blisters on my toes had blisters. Not kidding.

Fuel strategy and execution was on point, although I was a few kilos heavier than previous races. Holidays and too few resistance training sessions.

Transitions were adequate.

Am I one of the guys at the pointy end of the bell curve? Clearly still yes. Maybe I’ve just evolved beyond a standard group training plan. Self-Coach? I’ve got the credentials and experience. Back to a previous coach? Maybe a new coach? I’d take some applications. Yes.

In the meantime, I’ll see you in Chattanooga for some 70.3 action in May, 2019. That’s only two build cycles. Ima go noodle around in TrainingPeaks.

WAIT. HERE’S THE BERNIE STORY...

Bernie McNally is one of those people I am just glad to have in my life. This race report would be wholly inadequate if I didn't share how this amazing woman is absolutely unstoppable.

First, she got everybody who trained for New Zealand (at Well-Fit) a fleece.

I forgot to mention she broke her ribs in a bike accident a few months ago.

Then, in what can only be described as the luck of the Irish, she charmed her way into the “New Zealand Experience” haka class. Just showed up and got in. Turns out one of the women selected didn’t show up. Classic.

Here’s the unstoppable part: at around Mile 110 of the New Zealand Full fucking Ironman race, she hit a cone and went over her bike handle bars. Road rash up her arm, split her knee open and cracked her head/helmet on a curb. A bystander said, “Do you need some help? I’m calling an ambulance.”

Her reply?

“Just help me get my chain back on.”

So he did. And she finished the bike. The medics in T2 told her she needed stitches.  She said she didn’t have time, to just patch her up so she could get on with it. She finished the race with half an hour to spare. Words fail.

All I know is this: whenever I’m feeling like I can’t get it done--and it can be anything from driving in traffic to folding laundry to a holding pace on a long run--I know exactly what I’ll hear. 

A thick, sassy, Irish brogue doing the haka.

WITH GRATITUDE FOR…

I’m very grateful to my lovely wife Susan and my wonderful kids, Peter and Veronica for their support. Susan, you are my salvation.

I’m grateful to have the expert professionals Coach Russ and Coach Sharone and the entire Well-Fit staff and athletes who generously share their wisdom.

I’m grateful to my inspiring and impressive training partners. Especially the seven hardcore savages that got it done in New Zealand--Adam, Christine, Dan, Kelly, Megan, Mike, Will and Bernie.

I’m very grateful to anybody willing to excuse my terrible smell, deplorable language and barbaric sounds during training.

Maximum gratitude to Well-Fit, Get-A-Grip, Fleet Feet and all the pools I use.

I’m grateful for Crushing Iron (C26), Matt Fitzgerald, Joe Friel, Training Peaks, Scott brand bikes, Apple, Ironman.

Thank you to all the on-course maniacs cheering and making signs and wearing all sorts of crazy outfits to show love and support. For strangers exercising.

I’m grateful that I’m able to race triathlons. I’m grateful to you for reading.

[flowisk]

fmk variation: (jack, buzzo, lisa) + (milton, johan, claptrap) + (admin, flowey, a dog)

omg.... haha. god.ok this is for the version which is like.... ‘• get randomly assigned as your lab partner for a whole semester,• get trapped with on a broken elevator for ten hours• get as my employee trainer for my new job at McDonalds’ so yeah i’m going to answer this.{ jack, buzzo, lisa. }wow. tough crowd. tough crowd.• get randomly assigned as your lab partner for a whole semester look. it would be buzzo. he’s a scientist. and Presumedly if we’re in any position to be like. doing lab work, it would be in a relatively non hostile environment. dude was a student at some point. i mean... i think buzzo would know more than me on this subject so he’d probably talk down to me a little but assuming I’m Not Brad it wouldn’t be so bad. buy him a coffee at some point maybe.• get trapped with on a broken elevator for ten hours you know. it’s hell? like ok. there’s no option to this where i can pick jack and it wouldn’t be worse so i’m going with this one. jack would be a fucking awful partner and an even worse employee trainer (dude’s a fucking abysmal boss) so yeah, 10 hours in an elevator with jack. it probably wouldn’t be great to be the only thing he has a possibilty of venting frustration at for 10 hours, but somehow those other options are actually worse.• get as my employee trainer for my new job at McDonalds lisa. i’m not sure what kind of boss she’d be? i could imagine some potentially cool ways that could go okay. i don’t think she’d be too gungho about a job at mcdonalds, so i can’t imagine her like... being super uptight about things. older lisa: ‘dont spill a vat of oil on urself kid’. {milton, johan, claptrap}• get randomly assigned as your lab partner for a whole semester ummm im tempted to say milton but actually johan, because id rather not be caught in an elevator for 10 hours with him and his psychological bullshit (yes they both do that but johan is demonstratably worse about this). johan is focused on doing well all the time ok there’s no way you’re getting a shitty grade with johan as your lab partner. like maybe he’ll orchestrate the death of your family or some shit or see you as a pawn for a conspiracy he’s enacting or lock you in a burning building but god? your grade would be good? and anyway if you’re useful to him on any level he’d probably be chill bc he has an image to maintain in a public space.• get trapped with on a broken elevator for ten hours milton. milton’s whole life is basically them being trapped in an elevator anyway so it’s no different from any other conversation you’d have with them. milton would just be like ‘oh. you’re booored. i see . unfamiliar feeling. i can’t relate. i see you’re paying more attention to me now that you have nothing to occupy you. i wonder if you’ll stop talking to me when the elevator opens’ etc etc some passive aggressive bullshit with trust/abandonment issues even though milton refuses to admit theyre passive aggressive or have abandonment issues. id assure them id still talk to them and as it turns out theyre probably the reason the elevator stopped in the first place because they’re lonely af and seek attention in maladaptive ways.• get as my employee trainer for my new job at McDonald claptrap. i might have to ask other people to clarify instructions but he’d be pretty chill i think. idk seeing him in bl2 he’s not too bad of a boss... he’d probably give really long lectures tho about mundane things... he’d like someone looking up to him. i do wonder if he’d ever assert his power being like ‘ahahaha im ur teacher!’ but i think he’s too concerned about being liked to seriously be too bad of a boss, and all of the times he’s done that in bl2 have just been kind of silly and non-harmful. out of the three people in this category he’d definitely be the most chill and lenient with mistakes. just a bit prideful about training you, probably. he’d tell you that you did a good job minion. he’d probably brag about teaching you your shit all the time after he stopped being your employee trainer, but that kind of thing it’s just... it’s claptrap. who can be mad.{admin, flowey, a dog)• get randomly assigned as your lab partner for a whole semester flowey. kind of precocious kid. read everything in the world once or twice and at least some of that has probably been academic. i think flowey probably has the experience of reading a lot of information they know but don’t quite understand. i’m actually unsure how casual conversation would go there... would flowey be annoyed with me when i didnt know things? probably. but i think being given an environment where he can learn things he’d be a somewhat good if occasionally disruptive student. might get people going ‘oh you have that partner’ but eh, it’d be ok.• get trapped with on a broken elevator for ten hours definitely a dog. i mean. out of all the options ive gotten so far that’s p much the chillest person to get stuck in an elevator with. would be cute and not expecting much emotionally out of me. we could sleep in the elevator.• get as my employee trainer for my new job at McDonalds admin. I Know That Sounds Unorthodox but like... admin was actually p chill to the people of gehenna when they were running things. it’s just. that they wanted to be appreciated. and listened to. and you can’t make sock puppets in real life so although i’m sure admin runs a forum with sock puppets somewhere else, in managerial duties they’d prob just be a bit bitter and pa. but they like leadership roles so as someone who was like, listening to them? they’d probably be pretty chill? i bet u if you said ‘thanks for teaching me’ theyd beam a bit. even if they didn’t show it. (on the other hand if you were ungrateful theyd prob be PA about it ‘all the time i put into this workplace... and the people here don’t care about me...’ etc) I think admin’s actually good at leadership positions despite their personal issues re: that so i think it’d be chill tho.

[misqnon]

For the OCs ask meme: Octavia and Char? :0

im tempted not to put this under a readmore so people will be forced to read about my ocs but

Full Name: Octavia Gender and Sexuality: female, panPronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: white, a ghost!Birthplace and Birthdate: somewhere in northeast part of the U.S., July 21st (she was 22)Guilty Pleasures: swing dancing, really bad cheesy pop musicPhobias: most bugs, breaking bones/injury (especially any that would hinder her ability to dance), the ceiling collapsingWhat They Would Be Famous For: BALLROOM DANCING!!! she’s a dancerWhat They Would Get Arrested For: i would say nothing but…i can see her sneaking into dance studios / dancing halls to practice without permission ,, but she’d cry if she got caught so maybe notOC You Ship Them With: no one really?OC Most Likely To Murder Them: no one would hurt octavia she is too kind plus…she’s already deadFavorite Movie/Book Genre: romance. she’s cheesy. she probably loves animated/”childrens” movies as well; she really likes ghibli (something she shares with bedlam, but i forgot to mention on his) also loves any kind of movie with an underdog that triumphs and gets a happy ending. ohgodsheprobablylikeshorsemoviesLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: she’s not picky but..the “girl takes off glasses and is beautiful” and “im going to change myself to get with my crush” tropes are some of her least favoriteTalents and/or Powers: ive probably said it 5 times now but she loves ballroom dancing and most other formal forms of dance…she probably can’t dance anythung outside of the fancy stuffim imagining her trying to breakdance and im actually cringingand, idk if this counts as a power, but as a ghost she’s usually spotted at night with a wispy blue image of a ballroom floor beneath her and faceless white dancers around her as she twirls, would be a really spooky sight in the middle of the night to see tbhWhy Someone Might Love Them: she’s very quiet and shy, but when approached she tries very hard to be friendly. shes so sweet and genuinely likes almost everyone to a certain extent. will drop everything to help anyone who asks, and puts her friends before herself. she’s optimistic and very emotional as wellWhy Someone Might Hate Them: kinda a crybaby, easily emotional and very sensitive. harcore people-pleaser and apologizes a lot. also might be considered the “”weird kid”” since she typically won’t approach people so she ends up with no friends looking kinda sad and distressed in the corner by herself, gets kind of clingy and dependent if you do befriend her but not in the bad way,, basically you’d have to be an asshole to hate her but maybe i’m just protective of my ghost daughter (dont hurt her she’s been through ENOUGH)How They Change: becomes more assertive and independent. still wants to help people and is still sensitive, but more likely to put her needs first and more likely to stand up for herself as well. and… Will Become Intense For Her Friends (i can easily conjure up a mental image of her stone faced and sharp tongued if you’re a jerk to someone close to her…even with her shyness she disregards it if you really piss her off, which is hard to do. probably one of those scary people who enunciate and speak more clear and formal when pissed)Why You Love Them: JUST LOOK!! AT MY GIRL!! she was kinda an attempt at making a Strong Female Character™  that wasnt just…snarky and can fight. she’s a more feminine character but is still “strong” as hell and definitely a likable girl (at least imo) even if she isnt “badass”…basically, all my female characters are snarky and i wanted a change of pace lmao. aand now i have my kind ghost gf….whom i love and adore…

- - - - -

Full Name: Charlotte

Gender and Sexuality: female, lesbian

Pronouns: she/her

Ethnicity/Species: maori

Birthplace and Birthdate: New Zealand, May 5th (she’s 23)

Guilty Pleasures: winning anything, no matter the means or who against. she’s so competitive. also, eggs.

Phobias: being buried alive. to a lesser extent, small spaces/being confined. bears too. bears are scary.

What They Would Be Famous For: soccer ir basketball. some kind of sport for the athletic gal

What They Would Get Arrested For: punching/fighting someone cause they pissed her off (way too easy to do)

OC You Ship Them With: none, currently!

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: apollo (not REALLY he’s too nice but they don’t like each other at first)

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: adventure, fantasy, sci fi. she loved warrior cats and animorphs as a kid. still loves them both begrudgingly.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: most of themvbcdcjdk she hates cliches least favorite are probably damsel in distress situations and the whole “liar revealed” trope

Talents and/or Powers: she’s really good at most sports (not golf) also eerily lucky and good at guessing. the amount of times she’s completely bullshit a test and got a good grade through guessing is. amazing

Why Someone Might Love Them: she’s a Big Sister. really protective of her friends and is really fun to be around if you get close to her, as hard as it is. if she considers you a friend her personality completely flips: she’s jokey, loud (well, she’s always loud), encouraging, and relatively nice(r)Why Someone Might Hate Them: she’s. extremely unfriendly. she doesnt want to try to make friends and if you try to befriend her its an uphill battle. she’s stubborn, rude, and hotheaded. tbh i didnt even like her for the longest time and she’s my ocHow They Change: not MUCH but…with a little persuasion she might be willing to work on her people problem. a little.Why You Love Them: at first i was like man. shes so mean. but then i tried looking at her from a different angle and when she’s around her best friends (octavia and bed) she’s a huge loving supportive goofball and i can appreciate that

[bloginstantmooncollector-blog]

how can poor people afford health insurance yahoo question

"how can poor people afford health insurance yahoo question

how can poor people afford health insurance yahoo question

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolutions.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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how can poor people afford health insurance yahoo question

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how can poor people afford health insurance yahoo question

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I have recently purchased a haotian vixen 125-8 motorbike to learn on. i will soon be doing my CBT. I understand that it is an imported bike but i cannot seem to find any insurance companies that know of the make, what can i do ?""

Car insurance!?

how long before the policy expires does your insurance company send you the delightful letter detailing how much your insurance will cost for the following year!! im looking around for cheap quotes, and i want to know what my insurance with my present company will be, but typically i cant get the quote to proceed off the first stage on the internet! so im going to wait for the letter :)""

""Does car insurance cover just the car, or the driver?""

May be a silly question, but everyone I ask seems to not know the answer! I may phone the insurance place about it later, but want to see what you guys say. I'm 26, going for my G soon, in Ontario Canada. I have car insurance on a car I share with my parents. Does this insurance cover just THAT car? If I want to drive my boyfriends car do I need to have insurance for his car? OR, does the insurance cover the DRIVER and they can drive whatever car they want without telling the company what vehicles they're driving as long as they have insurance?? Any information you can give me? Thanks.""

how can poor people afford health insurance yahoo question

how can poor people afford health insurance yahoo question

""What is a good but cheap body shop around the riverside, CA area which will work on an nissan altima?

i wont use insurance on it so it must be very affordable. theres alot oof scratches

How much do 22 year olds pay for car insurance?

How much do 22 year olds pay for car insurance?

""Good,affordable car insurance for 19 year old !?

Ca..

What is your answer to reducing health costs and improving health care in America?

How do we go about this without drastically increasing out health insurance costs? Of course we all need to practice healthier lifestyle habits, but fiscally how do we improve our nation? Should we adobt other nation's practices? if so, whose? How do we improve health care across america and lower the costs to the citizens who utilize that care?""

Car insurance expired what to do?

I bought an old car . its insurance expired on 9.7.12. how can i get it insured again?

Average car insurance estimate?

How much would insurance cost for a 17 yr old male to drive an insurance group 13 car e.g. Mercedes C200 etc - as a second driver! It will be parked in a driveway and is about 8 years old! Thanks for your help

Driving without insurance?

My mom has insurance in her name for her car. I passed my road test yesterday and got my license. Can i legally drive the car with her INSIDE of the car? I'm not listed on her insurance? If i get pulled over do i legally have insurance? What will happen?

""How much do you pay for your car insurance policy evey year, all said and done?""

My boyfriend and I are moving to Portland Oregon, and we're trying to get some sort of idea. This is some info that would help us get an idea. How old are you? How many people are on the policy? What type of car(s)? How much coverage? THANKS!""

For how many traffic ticket you get before insurance rate increase?

i had a speeding ticket 3 yrs ago and it was dismissed after one yr. now i just got another red light ticket. will my insurance consider this red light ticket as second ticket or first and will they increase rate?? and for how many traffic ticket you get before insurance rate increase?

Life insurance question - term life and term life with return of premium?

Hello, my spouse and I are in the market for life insurance now. After some researching, we have pretty much decided to go with term or term return of premium insurance. I still have following to decide and if you could enlighten me on these I would appreciate it very much. Which company? I found the following list that's supposed to be the best life insurance companies at this website. http://www.lifeinsurancestar.com/lifeinsurance/company-ratings.php * New York Life: A++, stable outlook * Mass Mutual: A++, stable outlook * State Farm: A++, stable outlook * Geico: A++, stable outlook Does this mean I should probably check out these companies? We have State Farm for auto and home insurance. Would State Farm be a good way to go (convenient to have all three in one place)? I also thought Geico didn't offer life insurance. I was led to LifeQuotes page from Geico. Does this mean that this list is not reliable? How much? We are 40-45 years old, just We still have almost 30 years of mortgage, and 20 years of raising our son. I was using some calculator online (Kiplinger, Life Foundation?) to calculate how much coverage I need, and they both returned figures like 1+ million. How can this be? Is 1 million life insurance common these days? We have about 170,000 in remaining mortgage balance (actually I only included half of that in calculation), and I calculated monthly living expense to be 2,000-3,000 (depending on if our child is still with us)/month with my spouse's income to be 2,000/month, and also included college cost. Does this seem reasonable that this will add up to be million dollars in 30 years, with inflation? I was thinking of about 300,000-400,000 before using these calculators. Term or Term ROP? We have almost decided against Term ROP and to go with straight term, but are not final on this decision. What do you all think about ROP? With ROP, do we typically actually receive ALL of the premium, or are there any fees etc. subtracted from the refunded amount? Also, does ROP term insurance give you investment returns in addition to the amount of premium you paid? One of the reasons that we are leaning towards straight term is that with our current age, with 20-30 year policies, the likelihood well actually be using the death benefit would be moderately high  then ROP wont be such a good deal, as well as hearing that if we just get term and invest the difference in the premium, wed be ahead of term ROP. How long? In this case, should we try to get a 20 year term (for while our son will be with us), or 30 year term, just to cover the full length of the mortgage, although I wouldnt need that much coverage towards the end of 30 years (our son will be with us for only 20 more years, our mortgage will be paid off except for last 10 years or so)? Or buy 25 year return of premium term policy and pay 5 more years of mortgage using the money we receive from return of premium? Or buy two term policies - a large amount of 20 year policy plus a smaller amount (to cover the remaining mortgage balance in the last 10 years of mortgage)? Thank you for your help!""

I recently moved to Brooklyn and I need to find affordable auto insurance for my car. Any suggestions?

I know car insurance in NY is expensive in general, but any suggestions would help!""

Insurance on 2009 A4 TFSI (I'm 19)?

What would be the insurance rate for a 2009 Audi A4 TFSI (4 cilinder 2.0 turbo) for me, I'm 19 years old and I live in Florida. I have a 2008 335i which is V6 twin-turbo and the insurance is high, can't afford US$6000 a semester. thank u""

Car Insurance Renewal?

How is it that my car insurance renewal has gone up by 60 per year and when I rang the company to cancel explaining that they are far too expensive, they then try to offer me more discount. Why not just offer this when the renewal is sent in the post Just to add I still didn't take the insurance and cancelled as the discount only consisted of 30 and I've had a quote elsewhere for 300 cheaper. BTW I have 9 years no claims, no points, no convictions and only drive a 1.4 car""

Can you get motorcycle insurance for summer months instead of all year round?

I was scoping out some insurance rates and it seems like you can't just get insured for the summer months when you actually ride. You have to pay it all year round and if you cancel they wont insure you the next year. Does anyone know of any way to just get insured for the summer months (May - August)?

Is it legal for the car insurance to be in a name other than person paying the monthly car payment?

My sister's husband passed in November. Their car is in both my sister's and her husband's name; however, my sister can not drive and does not have a driver's license. She wants to keep the car insurance on the vehicle, but to do that she would need to have a valid driver's license. Soooo, she has asked me to get the vehicle insurance in my name using my driver's license. My question is this: Am I in ANY way responsible for anything that happens to/in/with the car if I am not the driver? I use my car and driver's license for work and I can not have blemishes on my driving record or my criminal background""

Health Insurance for getting pregnant?

I'm thinking of getting pregnant, can anyone tell me what is a good insurance that would cover most of the bills I would have with dr. visits, delivery, etc. I can't afford to pay a lot.""

What does car insurance cost?

I'm 16 almost 17 about to get my license in a small town in Indiana. I get all As except for maybe one B a semester. I went to drivers ed. I will get a 2001 silver volkswagon ...show more

Do I need Car Insurance to get a Georgia Drivers License?

I'm 19 years old and Ive been ready for my driving test for a while now. I just need to know if I can take the driving test in Georgia with my mom's car. WITHOUT being on her insurance. And YES her car is insured. I just want to take my test, get my license, and worry about insurance and a car later.""

What is your opinion on having to obtain car insurance?

I am doing a essay on car insurance. I would be much appreciated if everyone could give me their input on it and how they feel about having to have it. thank you so much for your help!

Cheapest Car to Ensure?

What would be the cheapest car to insure for a 19yr old male, license for 2 years, without the best insurance past... Written 1 car off in flood water, and crashed another, so not expecting anything much under 2,000?""

I have a question about auto insurance?????

The other day someone was giving me a ride. We stopped by a store and when i opened the door i scratched a ladies car. The lady was pretty mad and she took the license plate number and the name of the insurance. Today the guy that gave me a ride says that she called the his insurance and now i have to pay the cost of the damage. Is this guy pulling my leg or can this be true?

How much would i save on insurance by taking the motorcycle safety course?

and is their other beneifits to taking the safety course like, getting a discount at the dealer place or something""

Looking for best LIC insurance for Child?

Hello, I am new to this insurance/policy stuffs...i am looking for best LIC policy for kids... Please share some sites where i can get basic education about insurance policies... thanks""

Why should a healthy person buy health insurance in 2014?

Because Obamacare eliminates pre-existing condition exclusion, why should a healthy person buy health insurance in 2014? Doesn't it make sense to save your money and buy insurance only once you need it?""

Does it matter who drives which car under the same insurance policy?

I have an 08 Toyota Corolla S and my dad has a 95 Toyota Pickup. I'm 19 and we're under the same policy with AAA. Would it make a difference in cost if they put me as the driver of the Corolla as opposed to the Pickup? If so about how much? Currently I'm with the Pickup and my dad's with the Corolla.

how can poor people afford health insurance yahoo question

how can poor people afford health insurance yahoo question

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/do-feminists-think-men-should-pay-same-amount-car-insurance-ball/"