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todomitoukei · 4 years

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Japanese vs. English Todoroki - A 302 Comparison

After chapter 301 gave us a bit of Touya’s backstory, this chapter continues giving us some flashbacks as well as the conversation between the Todofam in the present time with plenty of questionable lines! Just like with 301, we’ll take a look at every line from this chapter so this is another lengthy post...

「今後は焦凍を他の子らと一切近付けさせないことにする。」

「今後 ; kongo 」-> from now on; hereafter

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「焦凍 ; shouto 」-> Shouto

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「他 ; hoka 」-> other

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「子ら ; kora 」-> children

「と ; to 」-> with

「一切 ; issai 」-> absolutely not; without exception

「近付けさせない ; chikadzukesasenai 」-> won’t let someone near someone else

「ことにする ; koto ni suru 」-> to decide on

= “I’ve decided that from now on, I will absolutely not let Shouto near the other kids.”

The official translation says that “we” are keeping the kids away from Shouto. While the Japanese line doesn’t include the pronoun for “I” it makes a lot more sense to go with that since Rei didn’t exactly have much of a say in anything, so whether or not she agreed to this isn’t even important. The point is, Endeavor made this decision.

This was most likely right after Touya tried to attack little Shouto so a direct continuation of the last flashback from chapter 301.

「俺は仕事でずっと面倒を見るわけにはいかんその為の使用人を雇った。おまえも燈矢から目を離すな。」

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「仕事で ; shigoto 」-> attending work

「ずっと ; zutto 」-> continuously; straight

「面倒を見る ; mendou o miru 」-> to look after someone

「わけにはいかん ; wake niwa ikan 」-> cannot afford to

「その ; sono 」-> that

「為 ; tame 」-> sake; purpose

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「使用人 ; shiyounin 」-> servant; employee

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「雇った ; yatotta 」-> hired

「おまえ ; omae 」-> you

「も ; mo 」-> also; too

「燈矢 ; touya 」-> Touya

「から ; kara 」-> from

「目を離すな ; me o hanasuna 」-> don’t take one’s eyes off

= “I am attending work. I can’t afford to continuously look after him, for that sake I hired a servant. Don’t you take your eyes off Touya, either.”

The na at the end of me o hanasuna is a negative command to say “don’t do” I’m not sure how exactly Rei is supposed to not take her eyes off Shouto and Touya when they are kept apart from each other, but what do we expect anyway? Also, keep in mind that Touya is 8 years older than Shouto and has been training on his own for around 4 years at this point without his parents being able to stop him. Of course, Endeavor is not going to be the Number One Hero if he can’t even stop his own child from doing whatever he wants. How are two adults not able to handle one tiny child??

「。。。あの子はあなたに見てほしいんだよ。」

「あの ; ano 」-> that

「子 ; ko 」-> child

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「あなた ; anata 」-> you

「に ; ni 」-> by; from

「見て ; mite 」-> to look

「ほしい ; hoshii 」-> to want

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

= “...That child wants you to look at him.”

The “that’s all” in the official translation is a good way to capture the nuance of nda yo.

「。。。俺はヒーローの世界しか。。。見せられないよ。」

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「ヒーロー ; hiro 」-> hero

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「世界 ; sekai 」-> world

「しか ; shika 」-> only

「見せられない ; miserarenai 」-> to see (potential negative) *shika requires the verb to be in the negative form

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

= “I can only show him the hero world.”

Shika is usually used in a negative context, so an alternative translation would be “I can’t show him anything but the hero world.”

Anyway, I absolutely love (sarcasm) when people try to claim that Endeavor was a loving family man who just didn’t know how to express his love even though it’s so obvious that he couldn’t be bothered to try and be an actual father. Saying that he can only show him the hero world is just a lazy excuse, similar to him telling Touya that he’s ignoring him “for his own good” - none of those are in any way helpful or something that a child could understand. Instead, it only signals that Endeavor doesn’t care. No one is born a perfect parent nor is anyone expected to be one, but a good parent would try to do a good job and not neglect their child because they are incapable of being a parent. It’s also like he pretends that only the hero Endeavor exists and that he isn’t anyone outside of that. He’s a hero and nothing else (unfortunately, he isn’t really a hero, either, though). The problem with separating the hero from the person behind the hero is taking away the responsibility and sort of using the hero persona as a shield. Instead of recognizing that he failed as a parent, he is acting as though he doesn’t exist outside of his hero job and thus doesn’t have any responsibilities outside of work. That is how he also ends up blaming Rei for everything that happens rather than acknowledging that this is all his fault.

「ヒーロー？　逃げてるだけじゃないの。。。」

「ヒーロー ; hiro 」-> hero

「逃げてる ; nigeteru 」-> running away; escaping

「だけ ; dake 」-> only

「じゃない ; janai 」-> aren’t

「の ; no 」-> explanatory question marker

= “Hero? Aren’t you just running away…?”

This is a fantastic line and it’s nice to see her call him out, however, it also just makes no sense when later on in this exact chapter, we see Rei - in the present time - now being a lot nicer to him and supporting him instead of calling him out for being at fault for what happened to Touya.

「燈矢兄遊ぼー！！」

「燈矢兄 ; touya nii 」-> Touya-Nii

「遊ぼー ; asobo- 」-> let’s play

= “Touya-Nii, let’s play-!!”

「おお」

「おお ; oo 」-> Oh

= “Oh.”

Something I want to point out about this panel is that we see two desks here. Do they have a computer room? Do Touya and Natsuo share a room? While there are plenty of books on Touya’s desk, the one next to him has a couple of action figures on it. Though it’s hard to determine who those action figures are supposed to be, it would be absolutely hilarious if they just had a bunch of All Might figurines that they placed around the house to piss off Endeavor.

「焦凍見るな。兄さん（アレ）らはおまえとは違う世界の人間だ。」

「焦凍 ; shouto 」-> Shouto

「見るな ; miruna 」-> don’t look

「兄さんら ; niisanra 」-> older brothers

「アレ ; are 」-> that person

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「おまえ ; omae 」-> you

「とは ; to wa」-> topic marker with added emphasis to the topic

「違う ; chigau 」-> different

「世界 ; sekai 」-> world

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「人間 ; ningen 」-> human

「だ ; da 」-> be

= “Don’t look, Shouto! Your brothers (they) are people of a different world.”

Here, we have a sentence where the Furigana (= what the character says) read as are and don’t match with the Kanji (= what the character actually means), which read niisan.The ra at the end of niisanra is a pluralizer, just like tachi (ra is more informal). These pluralizers can be translated as something like “group” to say something like “the group of which your older brother is a part of.” It’s interesting that he says this, though, since the word kyoudai (=siblings) exists, which would better include all of Shouto’s siblings. Adding ra to the word Niisan (=older brother) rather than using a more neutral term like kyoudai then sort of adds emphasis to the older brother. This would be a great moment to joke that this is where Touya got his sexism from since Endeavor can’t even be bothered to mention that Shouto also has a sister here. But, I think this “group of which your older brother is a part of” refers to Touya specifically for a different reason. Natsuo himself has mentioned that Endeavor never even acknowledged him and instead he was tossed aside right away. And while Fuyumi is the one shown to be closest with Endeavor in the present time, that's only because Endeavor relies on her since she more or less replaced Rei in her mother role. But back then, she was probably just as ignored as Natsuo. That makes it feel like even here when saying “your siblings are in a different world” he is referring to Touya being a failure and thus not being part of the hero world, while not even acknowledging Natsuo’s or Fuyumi’s existence at all.

「いっかいだけでいいから燈矢兄たちと遊ばせて。」

「いっかい ; ikkai 」-> one time; one round; one game

「だけで ; dake de 」-> just

「いいから ; ii kara 」-> listen up

「燈矢兄たち ; touya nii tachi 」-> Touya-Nii and the others

「と ; to 」-> with

「遊ばせて ; asobasete 」-> let (someone) play (command)

= “Listen, let me play with Touya-Nii and the others, just one time!”

Ii kara is an expression used at the start of a command sentence for emphasis.

As mentioned before, tachi is a pluralizer and it’s similar to saying “Touya-Nii and the others” which is important for two reasons. One, this indicates that there were no further incidents where Touya tried to attack Shouto, since the latter doesn’t show any fear or resentment towards Touya, probably not knowing about the incident at all. And two, it really feels like Shouto is looking up to big bro Touya here. The oldest child - the head of the kids, if you will - and all Shouto wants is to hang out with this awesome brother of his. It’s not clear whether he knows that Touya used to be trained too or not, but either way, Shouto emphasizes Touya here and I’m glad the official translation included it like this, too!

「ダメだ出力訓練だ。」

「ダメ ; dame 」-> no good

「だ ; da 」-> be

「出力 ; schutsuryoku 」-> output

「訓練 ; kunren 」-> training

「だ ; da 」-> be

= “It’s no good. It’s output training.”

As mentioned later on in the chapter, Endeavor only ever taught Touya how to increase his flames and not how to decrease them. So I assume that “output training” is just that - training Shouto to increase his flames.

I’ve seen some people claim that the panel we get of Touya is him looking at Shouto in some evil or jealous way, but it’s more realistic to assume he’s looking at Endeavor, especially when looking at the part that comes right after. ALSO, please look at Natsuo in that panel.

He looks so worried as he’s realizing that he’s about to hit Touya-Nii in the face with the ball. You think Touya manipulated Natsuo? Actually, Natsuo physically abused Touya :/ (this is sarcasm). This is also the part where, in the anime, Touya just falls down and Natsuo and Fuyumi laugh at him. No wonder he ended up as a villain. Bullied by everyone in his family, the poor kid...

「そりゃああの時は俺が悪かったよ。。。！！焦凍に罪はなかったもの。。。でもお父さんも悪かったんだよ！　俺たちは失敗作だから相手にされないすごいよな。。。要らない子をつくってこれが現代ヒーローなんだぜ。」

「そりゃあ ; soryaa 」-> well; that is to say (interjection, form of それは)

「あの ; ano 」-> that

「時 ; toki 」-> time; occasion

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「悪かった ; warukatta 」-> was at fault; was in the wrong; was to blame

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

「焦凍 ; shouto 」-> Shouto

「に ; ni 」-> for

「罪 ; tsumi 」-> fault; responsibility

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「なかった ; nakatta 」-> wasn’t

「もの ; mono 」-> sentence ending particle used to indicate reason/excuse/dissatisfaction

「でも ; demo 」-> but

「お父さん ; otousan 」-> dad

「も ; mo 」-> also; too

「悪かった ; warukatta 」-> was at fault; was in the wrong; was to blame

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

「俺たち ; oretachi 」-> we

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「失敗作 ; shippaisaku 」-> failed creative work; flop

「だから ; dakara 」-> because

「相手にされない ; aite ni sarenai 」-> don’t associate with; take notice of (passive)

「すごい ; sugoi 」-> terrible

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

「な ; na 」-> sentence ending particle; used to seek confirmation

「要らない ; iranai 」-> not needed

「子 ; ko 」-> children

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「くって ; tsukutte 」-> making

「これ ; kore 」 - > this

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「現代 ; gendai 」-> modern era; nowadays

「ヒーロー ; hiro 」-> hero

「なんだ ; nanda 」-> explanatory particle

「ぜ ; ze 」-> emphasis particle

= “Well, that time I was to blame. Shouto wasn’t at fault. But dad was also to blame! We’re failed creative works, so we aren’t being associated with. Terrible, isn’t it… making children they don’t need. Is this the modern era hero?”

We know that Touya attacked Shouto when Shouto was a relatively fresh baby, but here Touya is 13, so this is roughly 5 years after that incident and yet Touya is still thinking about it and still feeling guilty about it, too. It’s also obvious that he never properly spoke with either one of his parents about this since a parent would then sit him down and help him work through these feelings of guilt. Then again, not his parents! Maybe he did tell them this before too and he didn’t get any reaction from it. It’s also sad how well he understands the whole situation and how much critical thinking he has (more than most of the fandom!), questioning how someone like Endeavor can be considered a hero when he isn’t even a decent person to his own family.

「たまには姉ちゃんことで言ったら。。。？」

「たまに ; tamani 」-> occasionally; once in a while

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「姉ちゃん ; neechan 」-> big sister

「こと ; koto 」-> phrase nominalizer

「で ; de 」-> with; via

「言ったら ; ittara 」-> if you said/told

= “If you told big sister one in a while…?”

This one sounds a bit strange when just doing a direct translation since this is one of those cases where the rest of the sentence is omitted because this part is enough to understand what he’s trying to say.

The one compliment I always have to give Horikoshi is managing to write very believable sibling dynamics/interactions. Also, I can’t help but wonder whether they are sharing a room (which doesn’t really make sense considering they live in a large house) or if these two just like to have sleepovers (I prefer this theory).

「夏くんまで俺をたしなめるのか！？やめてくれ！夏くんしか理解できないから話してるのに！！わかるだろ家の女は皆だめだめなだ！」

「夏くん ; natsu kun」-> Natsu-Kun

「まで ; made 」-> even

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「たしなめる ; tashinameru 」-> to chide; to rebuke; to reprove

「のか ; noka 」-> question marker particle seeking an explanation

「やめてくれ ; yametekure 」-> quit - asking for a favor (やめて + くれ)

「夏くん ; natsu kun」-> Natsu-Kun

「しか ; shika 」-> only (with neg. verb)

「理解できない ; rikai dekinai 」-> able to understand/comprehend/sympathize (negative form because of shika)

「から ; kara 」-> because; therefore

「話してる ; hanashiteru 」-> speaking; talking

「のに ; noni 」-> even though (used when complaining to someone)

「わかる ; wakaru 」-> to understand

「だろ ; daro 」-> right; I think

「家 ; uchi 」-> one’s family; one’s home

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「女 ; onna 」-> woman

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「皆 ; minna 」-> all

「だめだめな ; dame dame na 」-> entirely useless

「だ ; da 」-> be

= “Even you are chiding me, Natsuo-Kun!? Please stop! I’m talking to you because you are the only one who can understand me, Natsu-Kun!! You understand that the women in this family are entirely useless, right!”

The kure at the end of yametekure is used when asking a favor from someone, in this case, Touya is essentially asking Natsuo to please stop.

I know a lot of people said this is somehow manipulative and sexist?! About the sexist part: this is literally just a way for him to sum up that he’s talking about Fuyumi and Rei, which makes sense, considering he is not allowed to talk to Shouto, and obviously he can’t talk to Endeavor, either, which means the only remaining candidates he is able to talk to are Natsuo, Fuyumi, and Rei. Since he is talking to Natsuo, that only leaves Fuyumi and Rei (= the women in the family). It’s not that deep. It’s not like he said “they don’t understand because they are women” he just said “the women in this family are useless” which is an understandable feeling. While we don’t know exactly how his conversations with Fuyumi were like during this time, we know that Fuyumi is more on the neutral side in the present time and later on in this chapter, she even admits to having turned a blind eye in the past. And the next scene shows us why Touya thinks his mom is useless, too. He has legitimate reasons to view them as useless because neither of them acknowledged his feelings or listened to him properly. So no, he isn’t sexist he just uses this term instead of saying “Fuyumi and mom”.

And about the manipulative part - I’m not sure if some of you don’t have siblings? You are allowed to vent to your siblings. Also, let’s not forget that Touya is a drama queen, so him being a little dramatic here is just him being himself. More importantly, though, Natsuo is the only one that listens to him, so of course, he’s worried when the one person that he feels understood by tells him to talk to someone who doesn’t understand him. Not to mention the fact that Touya didn’t exactly grow up in an environment that taught him how to properly handle his feelings, which is the core problem in his life, so if he doesn’t perfectly articulate his feelings then remember that his parents never taught him any better.

「待ってまたお山に行く気でしょ。。。！たまにはクラスメイトと遊んでみたり。。。」

「待って ; matte 」-> to wait

「また ; mata 」-> again

「お山 ; oyama 」-> mountain

「に ; ni 」-> to

「行く気 ; iku ki 」-> feel like going

「でしょ ; desho 」-> it seems; right?

「たまに ; tamani 」-> occasionally; once in a while

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「クラスメイト ; kurasumeito 」-> classmates

「と ; to 」-> with

「遊んでみたり ; asondemitari 」-> try to do things like playing

= “Wait, you feel like going to the mountain again, right…! Once in a while, try to do things like playing with your classmates and…”

「友だちなんかいらない！世界が違う！」

「友だち ; tomodachi 」-> friends

「なんか ; nanka」-> make light off something

「いらない ; iranai 」-> don’t need

「世界 ; sekai 」-> world

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「違う ; chigau 」-> different

= “I don’t need friends! The worlds are different!”

Obviously, he has adapted this mindset from Endeavor. Thinking that heroes live in their own world and are somehow different - better - than anyone else. Being a hero in the bnha universe isn’t about anything heroic in most cases, but rather it’s about status and being a superior person. Sure, not every hero is as cruel to people as Endeavor, but even the other heroes believe that some people are worthier than others. In a way, they really are in a different world because they have the power to decide who to save and who isn’t worth saving, even though none of them are able to recognize this. To some people, though, like Endeavor or Touya, these different worlds are very clearly there.

「燈矢おまえ。。。本当にヒーローになりたいの？」

「燈矢 ; touya 」-> Touya

「おまえ ; omae 」-> you

「本当に ; hontou ni 」-> really

「ヒーロー ; hiro 」-> hero

「になりたい ; ni naritai 」-> want to become

「の ; no 」-> question marker particle seeking an explanation

= “Touya, you… do you really want to become a hero?”

「お母さんには。。。お父さんに縛られて苦しんでる様に見える。。。燈矢。。。世界は沢山あって選択肢は無数にあるの。お父さんだけじゃないもっと外を見て。。。！その中で本当になりたい自分を見つけてほし。。。」

「お母さん ; okaasan 」-> mom

「には ; niwa 」-> as for

「お父さん ; otousan 」-> dad

「に ; ni 」-> by

「縛られて ; shibararete 」-> to tie, to bind; to restrict (freedom)(passive)

「苦しんでる ; kushinderu」-> suffering

「様に見える ; you ni mieru 」-> seems like

「燈矢 ; touya 」-> Touya

「世界 ; sekai 」-> world

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「沢山 ; takusan 」-> many

「あって ; atte 」-> to be; to exist

「選択肢 ; sentakushi 」-> choices; alternatives; options

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「無数 ; musuu 」-> countless

「に ; ni 」-> to

「ある ; aru 」-> to be; to exist

「の ; no 」-> explanatory particle

「お父さん ; otousan 」-> dad

「だけ ; dake 」-> only

「じゃない ; janai 」-> isn’t

「もっと ; motto 」-> even more

「外 ; soto 」-> other place

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「見て ; mite 」-> look

「その中で ; sono naka de 」-> therein

「本当に ; hontou ni 」-> really

「なりたい ; naritai 」-> want to become

「自分 ; jibun 」-> oneself

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「見つけて ; mitsukete 」-> to discover; to find

「ほし ; hoshi 」-> want

= “To mom… it seems like you are suffering and being tied down by your father… Touya… There are many worlds, there are countless choices. Look more outside, there isn’t just your father…! I want you to find out who you really want to become therein.”

See, she can’t really blame him for becoming Dabi when she literally tells him he should find out who he wants to become. He only took her advice...

「お母さんが何を知ってんだよ！？啓発本でも読んだのかよ。。。！？」

「お母さん ; okaasan 」-> mom

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「何 ; nani 」-> what

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「知ってん ; shitten 」-> knowing

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

「啓発 ; keihatsu 」-> enlightenment; development

「本 ; hon 」-> books

「でも ; demo 」-> ...or something

「読んだ ; yonda 」-> was reading

「なのか ; nanoka 」-> question marker particle seeking an explanation

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

= “What do you know, mom!? Were you reading some enlightenment books or something…!?”

Once again, the official translation makes him talk in the weirdest way. We get it, he speaks informally. But no one talks like that. Please stop. Also, while the official translation only called this a “self-help book” keihatsu is defined as the act of teaching and leading others by teaching knowledge and awareness and is based on a saying from the Analects of Confucius about teaching only those who have the desire to learn and struggle to express themselves with words. There’s another word for enlightenment in Japanese, keimou, which is defined as being about teaching people the answer, whereas keihatsu is about leading people to think about the answer themselves.

Again, in a way, Rei did lead him to think about what his answer to “find out who you want to become” is so it’s somewhat fitting since she didn’t explicitly tell him who to become.

I’m sure Rei hasn’t actually read any enlightenment books, but I’m sure Touya has (that and parental books, probably). Smart boy!

「おばあちゃん達が貧乏してたからお母さんを売ったんだろ。お母さんはそうするしかなかったんだろ。」

「おばあちゃん達 ; obaachantachi 」-> grandma and the others

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「貧乏してた ; binbou shiteta 」-> was poor

「から ; kara 」-> therefore

「お母さん ; okaasan 」-> mom

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「売ったん ; uttan 」-> was sold

「だろ ; daro 」-> right?

「お母さん ; okaasan 」-> mom

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「そうする ; sousuru 」-> to do so

「しかなかった ; shikanakatta 」-> had no choice but~

「んだろ ; ndaro 」-> right?

= “Grandma and the others were poor, so they sold mom, right? Mom had no choice but to do it, right?”

Remember how in chapter 301 I said that the first flashback seemed more like a business transaction? Well, well, well. Of course, just because Touya says that Rei was sold doesn’t mean that she was actually sold, but I do think that she was sold in the sense that Endeavor is providing for her family, which would also explain why they are never seen visiting Rei (aside from the fact that this story isn’t about her and they are just not important) since they are financially depending on Endeavor and thus don’t want to get into any sort of fights with him that would possibly result in him not providing for them anymore.

Again, it’s sad that a 13-year-old is already aware of these circumstances.

「燈。。。」

「燈 ; tou 」-> Tou

= “Tou…”

「だから俺が生まれたんだろ。。。！？お母さんも加担してんだよ。」

「だから ; dakara 」-> therefore

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「生まれた ; umareta 」-> was born

「んだろ ; daro 」-> right?

「お母さん ; okaasan 」-> mom

「も ; mo 」-> also; too

「加担してん ; katan shite 」-> being complicit

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

= “That’s why I was born, right…!? You’re also complicit, mom.”

Honestly, he looks so hurt there. Some people like to claim that he was too harsh or whatever, but he basically just poured his heart out to her and told her that she can’t understand his pain - which is true - and it’s so sad to think about how long he must have had this thought already at that point. Again, he is thirteen. That’s a tough age for most people as it is, and when your own family doesn’t listen to you or understand you that makes it even worse.

Another thing to note is the sweat drops on his face. As we learn on the next page, when his emotions increase, so does his fire, so it’s likely that by yelling at his mom and getting angry, his body temperature was rising, thus making him sweat. This also matches with the line that comes right after:

「火が。。。。消えないんだよ」

「火 ; hi 」-> fire

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「消えない ; kienai 」-> won’t go out

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

= “The fire... won’t go out.”

Again, this could refer to the fact that a literal fire is lit inside of him as he’s more emotional right now.

「燈矢」

「燈矢 ; touya 」-> Touya

= “Touya.”

This conversation is similar to two other conversations we’ve seen so far: First, Rei gives him the exact same “advice” that Endeavor has given Touya before: “Make some friends. There are more worlds than just the hero world!” and then, Rei also tells Touya that there isn’t just Endeavor, similar to how she told Shouto “You aren’t bound by his blood.” So why did these two things not work on Touya?

The first piece of advice doesn’t work because it pretty much ignores Touya’s feelings, problems, and goals. He wants to be a hero, but his father won’t let him. Similar to how his own father couldn’t just give up on his dream of being a Number One Hero, thus starting a family and his little eugenics project, Touya can’t just give up on his dream of becoming a hero. To him, it’s not even necessarily about being a hero - it’s about proving himself to his father, to have his father say “I’m glad you were born” instead of just ignoring him and only focusing on his new masterpiece, Shouto.

The second advice worked on Shouto, so why didn’t it work on Touya? Well, the two of them are the same, but they are also opposites. Shouto has only ever had negative feelings towards Endeavor since he had to witness him hit his mom and terrify his siblings. Shouto always wanted to be a hero, but he didn’t want to become like Endeavor. Shouto said that he wants to make people feel at ease, and he knows that Endeavor doesn’t make his own family feel that way, so clearly becoming like him would mean not becoming the kind of hero Shouto wants to be. So by Rei telling him that he isn’t bound by Endeavor’s blood, she’s reassuring him that he can be independent from Endeavor and doesn’t have to be like him.

So how is Touya different? Touya always wanted to be a hero, but more importantly, he wanted to be good enough in his father’s eyes because unlike Shouto, he saw the “good” days of his family. While Endeavor never unconditionally loved him like a parent should, to a kid love is love and all that matters is getting their parents’ attention. Touya had that, but then suddenly was only met with excuses of “We can’t train anymore for your own good!” which doesn’t really help a child understand why they are now being ignored. While Shouto didn’t want to become Endeavor nor did he want to be around him, all Touya ever wanted was for his father to be proud of him and view him as worthy. So of course telling him there are more worlds than just Endeavor couldn’t possibly be helpful, because how can you expect a child to just not crave their parent’s love anymore?

「早生まれの小さな身体に漸く訪れ始めた二次性徴」

「早生まれ ; hayaumare 」-> someone born between January 1 and April 1

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「小さな ; chiisana 」-> small

「身体 ; karada 」-> body

「に ; ni 」-> at

「漸く ; youyaku 」-> finally; at last

「訪れ始めた ; otozurehajimeta 」-> begin to appear

「二次 ; niji 」-> secondary

「性徴 ; seichou 」-> sexual characteristics

= “Secondary sexual characteristics finally begin to appear in the small body of someone born early in the year.”

Of course, we are all surprised that “Touya was always small because he came out of the oven a little early” isn’t a literal translation.

Hayaumare is a term that describes someone born between January 1 and April 1, since the school year in Japan starts in April and kids start going to school at age 6 and so kids born between January and April will be the youngest in their class, sometimes almost a year younger than their oldest classmates. Shouto is also a hayaumare since he is also born in January, thus one of the youngest in class 1-A. So while this doesn’t mean that he was born prematurely, he would just seem smaller in comparison to his classmates since there is still so much development happening during that time. Obviously, that doesn’t explain why he was so much shorter than Natsuo. While it’s true that Natsuo is the kid that most resembles Endeavor in appearance, Rei is also pretty tall and I believe even now taller than Dabi. I think that overall, this is more to amplify that Touya has a weak body.

Also, this is clearly a great moment for him to develop secondary sexual characteristics, which include things like body hair, only for him to burn them all off right then and there. This also means that they wouldn’t have recognized Dabi by his voice, since it wouldn’t have gotten deeper yet before he left the family.

「そうか。。。身体機能だもんな！感情の昂ぶりが火力に直結するんだ！すごいぞ俺。。。これならお父さんもきっとびっくりするぞ！」

「そうか ; souka 」-> is that so? (rhetorical)

「身体 ; shintai 」-> body

「機能 ; kinou 」-> function; feature

「だ ; da 」-> be

「もん ; mon 」-> because; indicates reason

「な ; na 」-> sentence ending particle; used to seek confirmation/ introduce new topic

「感情 ; kanjou 」-> emotion; feelings

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「昂ぶり ; takaburi 」-> excitement; stimulation

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「火力 ; karyoku」-> heating/fire power

「に ; ni 」-> to

「直結する ; chokketsu suru 」-> to directly connect

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

「すごい ; sugoi 」-> incredible

「ぞ ; zo 」-> emphasizes the speaker’s will or opinion

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「これなら ; kore nara 」 - > this one

「お父さん ; otousan 」-> dad

「も ; mo 」-> also; too

「きっと ; kitto 」-> surely

「びっくりする ; bikkuri suru 」-> to be surprised

「ぞ ; zo 」-> emphasizes the speaker’s will or opinion

= “Is that so…? It’s the body function, huh! The stimulation of the emotions is directly connected to the firepower! Incredible I… this one will surely also surprise dad!”

Look at him still smiling! Wasn’t that All Might’s thing, to smile no matter what? Touya sure had that down too, still holding on to the hope that his dad would care.

「身体の変化と共にその炎は赤から蒼へと色を変えていた」

「身体 ; karada 」-> body

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「変化 ; henka 」-> transition

「と共に ; to tomo ni 」-> together with

「その ; sono 」-> that

「炎 ; honou 」-> flame

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「赤 ; aka 」-> red

「から ; kara 」-> from

「蒼 ; ao 」-> blu

「へと ; e to 」-> to

「色 ; iro 」-> color

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「変えていた ; kaeteita 」-> was changing

= “Together with the body’s transition, the flame’s color was changing from red to blue.”

「ああでも。。。くっそ昂ぶると何だって涙が出ちゃうんだろう。」

「ああ ; aa 」-> Ah

「でも ; demo 」-> but

「くっそ ; kusso 」-> extremely

「昂ぶる ; takaburu 」-> to become excited; to become aroused (of emotions)

「と ; to 」-> when

「何だって ; nandatte 」-> why?; what for?

「涙が出 ; namida ga dechau 」-> to shed tears (出る + ちゃう)

「ん ; n 」-> used for emphasis/ to show surprise

「だろう ; darou 」-> I wonder

= “Ah but… I wonder why I shed tears when I become extremely excited?”

Dechau consists of deru (to come out) and chau, which is used here to emphasize his emotions. The n after dechau is an explanatory particle and can also show surprise (basically asking for an explanation for this new discovery of him crying as a result of becoming excited).

Anyway, this is a super important new detail we now know about Dabi. In this post I talked about Dabi currently experiencing emotional numbness (in response to him telling Shouto that he doesn’t feel anything anymore), a coping mechanism that can occur after traumatic events. It doesn’t mean the person experiencing this doesn’t actually have any emotions anymore, but those feelings get repressed because sometimes it’s easier for your brain to pretend those feelings aren’t there rather than letting you become overwhelmed with extremely strong emotions. However, individuals experiencing emotional numbness might still show emotions like anger in situations where they might feel powerless or threatened.

While I still do believe that this does apply to Dabi, this chapter is proof that he still feels very strong emotions since strong emotions make his fire stronger. A little later in this chapter, we also find out that Touya was only shown how to increase his flames and not how to decrease them (imagine Endeavor teaching you how to drive lol, no thank you!) so it also seems like even now, he doesn’t have full control over his flames - or rather their intensity - since otherwise, he could have just used a weaker flame up until now instead of always using blue flames no matter what. So his flames are still controlled by his emotions, therefore showing that he still has very strong emotions now.

In other words, while he is suppressing his emotions and not fully experiencing them the same way he used to, those feelings are still very much there even if it doesn’t feel that way to him.

I think something very interesting to see would be if at some point (should someone ever properly decide to save him) someone would get through to him and we would just see his blue flames slowly turning red as he, for the first time, truly calms down...

「お父さん今度の休み瀬古杜岳に来てよ。」

「お父さん ; otousan 」-> dad

「今度 ; kondo 」-> next time

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「休み ; yasumi 」-> holiday; day off

「瀬古杜岳 ; sekototake 」-> Sekoto Peak

「に ; ni 」-> to

「来て ; kite 」-> come

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

= “Dad, come to Sekoto Peak on your next free day!”

Again, can we just appreciate how strong this child is still smiling and being hopeful despite years of being neglected and told he’s not good enough? Even now, he’s still trying and not giving up. He looks so cheerful here like he still has positive feelings for his dad here.

「火傷。。。周囲から見られない箇所での訓練。。。！」

「火傷 ; yakedo 」-> burn

「周囲 ; shuui 」-> surroundings

「から ; kara 」-> from

「見られない ; mirarenai 」-> can’t be seen

「箇所 ; kasho 」-> place

「での ; deno 」-> in (the no adds emphasis on the preceding word)

「訓練 ; kunren 」-> training

= “Burn… training in a place that can’t be seen from the surroundings…!”

「おまえまだ。。。！！」

「おまえ ; omae 」-> you

「まだ ; mada 」-> still

= “You still…!!”

Obviously, this is very different from the official translation’s “Dammit! Again?!” but I think the criticism only stems from people who think that swearing is some sort of terrible taboo way of speaking. No, he doesn’t swear in Japanese but there are so few swear words in Japanese and usually, the way you would swear is by speaking informally. Anyway, it matches his expression and you can see that he’s yelling so it’s one of those changes that aren’t that dramatic, and anyone that cries over this better also address the heavier changes in regards to Dabi and the rest of the villains. Also, as I’ve said before: the changes in Dabi’s speech are far more severe and impact how people view him as a person since the entire content is sometimes changed for the worse. He is also someone who is clearly smart and knows how to use language, so making him speak in weird ways like the official translation does definitely changes how he is perceived. Endeavor, on the other hand, is not perceived differently by the minor changes made to his speech, which don’t even affect the content. For example, with this line, he is literally yelling at his child. Saying “dammit” isn’t the reason I view him as a terrible father since him neglecting and abusing his children for over ten years at this point is enough proof for that already. Whether he swears or not doesn’t change that.

「すごい事になったんだ必ず来て！」

「すごい事になった ; sugoi koto ni natta 」-> to go crazy; to get out of hand; to end up in an extreme state

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

「必ず ; kanarazu 」-> certainly; without fail

「来て ; kite 」-> come

= “It ended up in an extreme state, so you certainly have to come!”

What’s interesting here is the “sugoi koto ni natta” part, which is an expression with the above-mentioned meanings that certainly all fit Touya’s state there. But if you break it down then you have “became a terrific thing” - which is close to the “what I can do now is pretty cool!”

「焦凍にだって到達できるかどうか。。。！オールマイトにも負けないかもね！お父さんもきっと認めざるをえなくなるからさ。。。！俺をつくって良かったって思うから！」

「焦凍 ; shouto 」-> Shouto

「に ; ni 」-> at

「だって ; datte 」-> after all

「到達 ; toutatsu 」-> reaching

「できる ; dekiru 」-> to be able to

「かどうか ; kadouka 」-> whether or not

「オールマイト ; orumaito 」-> All Might

「にも ; nimo 」-> also

「負けない ; makenai 」-> don’t lose; to not be inferior to

「かも ; kamo 」-> may; might

「ね ; ne 」-> sentence ending particle; used to seek confirmation

「お父さん ; otousan 」-> dad

「も ; mo 」-> also; too

「きっと ; kitto 」-> surely

「認めざるをえなくなる ; mitomezaru o enakunaru 」-> cannot help to grow to recognize/notice (認め + ざるをえなく + なる)

「から ; kara 」-> expresses sympathy

「さ ; sa 」-> emphasis particle

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「つくって ; tsukutte 」-> to make

「良かった ; yokatta 」-> to be glad

「って思う ; tte omou 」-> to think

「から ; kara 」-> expresses sympathy

= “Whether or not I am able to reach Shouto after all…! I might also not lose to All Might, will I! Surely, you cannot help but grow to notice me too, dad...! And you will think you’re glad you made me!”

Later on, we get Endeavor and Rei both expressing that they didn’t know what to say to Touya around this time. When your child says “I will do this thing that’s damaging me to prove my worth to you and have you think it’s good that I exist!” maybe just say that you’re already glad they exist and that they’re already good enough! I’m sure parenting is hard, but affirming your child’s worth should not be one of the difficult parts of parenting.

Also, I would like to point out that the fandom has talked a lot about Touya’s jealousy towards Shouto, but I don’t fully see it. First of all, Touya is fully aware of why he and his siblings exist and therefore also knows why Endeavor is training Shouto. This doesn’t mean that Touya isn’t jealous at all, but he also doesn’t really dwell on those feelings. He sees Shouto as his competition, but not even in a negative way. If Endeavor had allowed it, Touya probably would have trained with Shouto and the two of them could have motivated each other to reach their full potential. The only reason Touya had any amount of jealousy in him was that Shouto was his replacement and as long as Shouto was around and better than Touya, it meant that Endeavor wouldn’t pay any attention to Touya. The whole “Whether or not I am able to reach Shouto” phrase shows that he recognizes that Shouto is stronger than him at the moment, but again, it comes from a place of trying to show Endeavor “Look, I can do what your masterpiece can do, too!” because he knows Endeavor is currently only impressed by Shouto. Shouto sets the bar and Touya is trying to make his father see that he can reach that bar too (probably). If Endeavor had changed his mind and let Touya and Shouto train together, then Touya might not have had any ill feelings towards Shouto, so when talking about this jealousy, please keep in mind that all roads lead back to Endeavor here and taking him out of the equation would make for a good bond between the two brothers.

「何故止めなかった冷！！！頼んだはずだ！！！」

「何故 ; naze 」-> why

「止めなかった ; tomenakatta 」-> didn’t stop

「冷 ; rei 」-> Rei

「頼んだ ; tanonda 」-> entrusted to; requested to

「はず ; hazu 」-> expectation that something took place

「だ ; da 」-> be

= “Why didn’t you stop him, Rei!!! I entrusted him to you!!!”

Hazu is used with the past tense of a verb to express negative feelings in response to something not having turned out how you expected them to.

「お母さんいじめないで！！やめて！いじめないでよ！」

「お母さん ; okaasan 」-> mom

「いじめないで ; ijimenai de 」-> don’t be cruel to

「やめて ; yamete 」-> stop

「いじめないで ; ijimenai de 」-> don’t be cruel to

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

= “Don’t be cruel to mom! Stop it! Don’t be cruel!”

「焦凍は出てろ！関係ない話だ！！」

「焦凍 ; shouto 」-> Shouto

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「出てろ ; detero 」-> get out

「関係ない ; kankei nai 」-> not involved

「話 ; hanashi 」-> conversation

「だ ; da 」-> be

= “Shouto, get out! The conversation doesn’t involve you!!”

「お母さんが何を知ってんだよ！？」

「お母さん ; okaasan 」-> mom

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「何 ; nani 」-> what

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「知ってん ; shitten 」-> knowing

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

= “What do you know mom!?”

「選択肢は限られていたけれど選んで進んだのは私の足でせめてその先では笑っていようと思っていた。。。のに」

「選択肢 ; sentakushi 」-> options

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「限られていた ; kagirareteita 」-> was limited

「けれど ; keredo 」-> however

「選んで ; erande 」-> to choose

「進んだ ; sunda 」-> to live

「のは ; nowa 」-> topic maker particle

「私 ; watashi 」-> I

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「足 ; ashi 」-> foot

「で ; de 」-> on

「せめて ; semete 」-> at least

「その ; sono 」-> that

「先 ; saki ; 」-> the future; destination

「では ; dewa 」-> topic maker particle

「笑っていよう ; waratte iyou 」-> should smile

「と思っていた ; to omotteita 」-> was thinking

「のに ; noni 」-> even though; and yet

= “My options were limited, however, and yet I chose to live on my feet and thought I shall at least smile in the future.”

「私じゃ止められない。」

「私 ; watashi 」-> I

「じゃ ; ja 」-> topic marker particle

「止められない ; tomerarenai 」-> couldn’t stop

= “I couldn’t stop him.”

Again, he’s thirteen. Maybe she didn’t read enlightenment books, but she sure should have read them. And also brought Touya to a therapist.

「そして。。。あなたは行かなかった。」

「そして ; soshite 」-> and

「あなた ; anata 」-> you

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「行かなかった ; ikanakatta 」-> didn’t go

= “And… you didn’t go.”

「出るな。。。！涙なんか。。。」

「出るな ; deruna 」-> don’t come out

「涙 ; namida 」-> tears

「なんか ; nanka 」-> expresses strong emotion; used to belittle something

= “Don’t come out…! Stupid tears…”

Nanka doesn’t really have an actual translation here, but the “stupid” from the official translation conveys that nuance of belittling something pretty well.

「。。。薪をくべてしまうだけだと。。。いや。。。」

「薪 ; maki 」-> firewood

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「くべてしまう ; kubete shimau 」-> to completely burn

「だけ ; dake 」-> only

「だ ; da 」-> be

「と ; to 」-> quotation marker

「いや ; iya 」-> disagreeable

= “... I thought it’s only completely burning the firewood… no…”

The to could be interpreted in different ways since it can also mean “and” but here it makes more sense to go for what the official translation did, which is assuming that it’s the quotation marker which would normally be followed by omou (= to think).

「ちくしょう。。。」

「ちくしょう ; chikushou 」-> damn it

= “Damn it...”

「何と声を掛けたらいいのかわからなかったんだ。」

「何と ; nanto 」-> what

「声を掛けたらいい ; koe o kaketara ii 」-> should start talking (to)/ give vocal support (to)/ to let (somebody) know (声を掛けた + らいい)

「のか ; noka 」-> question marker particle seeking a clarification

「わからなかった ; wakaranakatta 」-> didn’t know

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

= “I didn’t know what vocal support I should give.”

The official translation went for the more natural way of saying this, which is “I had no idea what to say to him.”

「おとうさ」

「お父さ ; otousa 」-> dad

= “Dad-”

「私もそうだった。」

「私 ; watashi 」-> I

「も ; mo 」-> also; too

「そう ; sou 」-> in that way; so

「だった ; datta 」-> was

= “I was also like that…”

Something that bothers me a lot about this exchange is that they both claim they didn’t know what to say to Touya, which is a weird conclusion as to where things went wrong. First of all, Touya is in all honesty probably smarter than both his parents combined and despite the translation constantly trying to make him sound like he’s speaking his own language, he has always been someone well-spoken in the sense that he chooses his words carefully as seen by how he knew exactly what to say to Aizawa in the summer camp, how politely he spoke in his broadcast, etc. He knows how to word things in order to get specific reactions out of people and be perceived however he wants to be perceived by people. More importantly, though, he had made it very clear on multiple occasions growing up what his problems were. He was always clear about his needs - wanting to train with his dad, having his dad come to the mountain with him, etc. - yet here it sounds a little like he never voiced his feelings or was somehow unable to comprehend what his parents told him.

Second of all, saying they didn’t know what to say to him makes it feel more like the whole thing was just a one-time slip and not years and years of problems piling up until it all collapsed. They knew Touya wasn’t fine. They saw him try to attack Shouto, they knew that he continued training and didn’t stop, they knew he wanted Endeavor’s attention.

As mentioned earlier, their advice failed because neither of his parents could practice what they preached. Endeavor telling Touya to give up on his goal of surpassing All Might and becoming a hero failed because Endeavor himself couldn’t stop to the point he started a whole family in the hopes that one of his children could do what he wasn’t able to. Rei telling Touya that he looks like he’s suffering and that he should find out who he really wants to become failed because Touya was aware that Rei didn’t marry Endeavor out of her own will but for her parents’ sake. And the thing is, he told them. He told them both that this advice wasn’t good enough, and then they just gave up. One piece of advice was what they deemed trying hard enough and now they boil it down to “I didn’t know what to say to him” even though the real reason Touya “died” was because they gave up on him from the start.

「わあっ。」

「わあっ ; waa 」-> Waa

= “Waa.”

「あれは熱かったな。」

「あれ ; are 」-> that

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「熱かった ; atsukatta 」-> was hot

「な ; na 」-> sentence ending particle; used to seek confirmation

= “That was hot, wasn’t it.”

「あつ。。。！止まらない！炎がー！！」

「あつ ; atsu 」-> hot

「止まらない ; tomaranai 」-> can’t stop

「炎 ; honou 」-> flame

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

= “Hot…! I can’t stop! The flames are-!!”

「ま自業自得だよな。」

「ま ; ma 」-> well; you might say

「自業自得 ; jigoujitoku 」-> paying for one’s mistakes; getting one’s just deserts; suffering the consequences (of one’s own actions); reap what you sow

「だ ; da 」-> be

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

「な ; na 」-> sentence ending particle; used to seek confirmation

= “Well, you reap what you sow, don’t you?”

I know we all made fun of the “that’s just deserts'' line in the official translation, but that is, in fact, one of the actual dictionary definitions of jigoujitoku. And to be fair, Touya was a smart kid. Maybe he just knows all these strange expressions no one ever uses. Maybe the official translation is onto something here… but to the rest of us, who never heard anyone say this before, it just sounds weird. Maybe we’re just all too stupid for Dabi…

「火力の上げ方しか教えてくれなかったもんなあ。」

「火力 ; karyoku」-> heating/firepower

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「上げ ; age 」-> raising

「方 ; kata 」-> way of; method of

「しか ; shika 」-> only (with neg. verb)

「教えてくれなかった ; oshiete kurenakatta 」-> taught (教えて + くれなかった)

「もん ; mon 」-> because; indicates reason/ excuse/ dissatisfaction

「なあ ; naa 」-> used to say something emotionally when looking back on the past

= “Looking back, he only taught me the way of raising the firepower.”

Again, the kure in oshiete kurenakatta is used when saying that something was done for the speaker.

When speaking to yourself, naa at the end of the sentence can be used when reflecting on the past, as Dabi does here, which makes it sound like he wasn’t necessarily aware of this before or at least wasn’t aware of it back then. I know there were some people when the spoilers came out that claimed that Touya had obviously faked his death on purpose, but aside from nothing pointing to that as it is, this part makes it especially obvious that he didn’t do it on purpose. Touya was clearly surprised that his fire grew so strong there and that he was unable to stop it. And the naa here indicates that if he had been aware back then that he never learned how to properly control his flames, then he might have been able to prevent this incident from happening.

「あの日全て諦めていれば。」

「あの ; ano 」-> that

「日 ; hi 」-> day

「全て ; subete 」-> all; everything

「諦めていれば ; akirameteireba 」-> had given up (conditional)

= “If only I had given everything up that day.”

THIS would have to be about the saddest sentences in this chapter and I haven’t really seen a lot of people mention this. This is Dabi reflecting on the day where his life completely changed and although he just had quite a success by revealing his identity and broadcasting the truth about his family to the whole country, he’s looking back on the day he almost died and thinks “if only I had given everything up on that day.” If you didn’t think he was suicidal before, here is your proof. Yes, he’s freer now in the sense that Endeavor can’t tell him what to do anymore (not like that worked before anyway), but this is still not the life little Touya had wanted. He wanted to be a hero and someone his father could be proud of, and yet here he is as a villain whose sole purpose is to kill Endeavor. So not only is he still not free from his life being dictated by Endeavor, but he also turned himself into someone he never wanted to be. While revealing his true identity to the country was somewhat of a victory for him, it doesn’t change that he won’t ever get back all the years Endeavor took from him. He might be fighting, but deep down he’d rather just be dead.

「燈矢を殺してしまったことで後に引けなくなっていた。。。焦凍に傾倒する他。。。なくなっていた。」

「燈矢 ; touya 」-> Touya

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「殺してしまった ; koroshiteshimatta 」-> was killed completely (殺して + しまった)

「ことで ; koto de 」-> nominalizes the preceding phrase

「後に引けなくなっていた ; ato ni hikenaku natteita 」-> couldn’t stop

「焦凍 ; shouto 」-> Shouto

「に ; ni 」-> to

「傾倒する ; keitou suru 」-> to devote oneself to

「他なくなっていた ; hoka naku natteita 」-> can do nothing but; have no other choice but

= “I couldn’t stop after I completely killed Touya… I couldn’t do anything except devoting myself to Shouto.”

As mentioned before, verb + shimau can mean that an action was done completely, but it can also mean that something was done regrettably. This is one of those cases, where both meanings can apply. Endeavor completely killed Touya, thus Dabi was born, but this is also regrettable since Touya shouldn’t have died. It’s just weird to admit that you're responsible (and cry about it in front of your victims) and then also blame the victim for how you treated your other victim.

「燈矢が消えて。。。エスカレートしていくあなたが悍ましくて。。。こどもたちにまで面影を見るようになってしまった。」

「エスカレートしていく ; esukareeto shite iku 」-> to continue escalating

「あなた ; anata 」-> you

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「悍ましくて ; ozomashikute 」-> disgusting; repulsive

「こどもたち ; kodomotachi 」-> children

「に ; ni 」-> in

「まで ; made 」-> until

「面影 ; omokage 」-> face

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「見る ; miru 」-> to see

「ようになってしまった」-> completely reached the point that

= “Continuing to escalate, you were repulsive... until I completely reached the point of seeing your face in the children.”

Okay, first things first. Rei’s line created a lot of confusion since it contradicts what Fuyumi says in chapter 250, where she mentions that Touya died shortly after Rei was hospitalized. This tweet from the official bnha twitter account states that the “Touya disappeared and…” part in Rei’s line in this chapter was a mistake and will be erased in the volume release, so I didn’t include that part in here. I do think that this scene overall makes no sense, then, though, since the idea here is that Touya’s “death” made Endeavor worse, made Endeavor become abusive, made Rei pour the boiling hot water on Shouto, made Endeavor put Rei into a mental hospital. But that’s not true.

Endeavor saying that he started to obsess over Shouto after Touya died is also weird, since we all know that he was already obsessed with him before and didn’t pay attention to any of the other children, which is exactly what led to Touya dying when Endeavor couldn’t even be bothered to go to the mountain with him one time.

「壊れてるのを知りながら。。。怖くて踏み込めなかった。。。上っ面で繕うことしか。。。してこなかった。」

「壊れてる ; kowareteru 」-> to be broken

「のを ; no o 」-> nominalizer + object marker

「知り ; shiri 」-> to know; to be aware of

「ながら ; nagara 」-> while

「怖くて ; kowakute 」-> scary

「踏み込めなかった ; fumikomenakatta 」-> wasn’t able to step into

「上っ面 ; uwattsura 」-> surface; apppearances

「で ; de 」-> at

「繕う ; tsukurou 」-> to fix; to cover up (mistakes); to keep up appearances

「こと ; koto 」-> things

「しか ; shika 」-> only (with neg. verb)

「してこなかった ; shite konakatta 」-> continued to do

= “While I knew it was broken... I was scared and unable to step in… I only continued to… fix things on the surface.”

Tsukurou has several meanings like “to fix” and “to keep up appearances” so that’s probably why the official translation included both meanings here. The Japanese also only says “scared” and not “too scared” like the official English translation, though this is most likely just done to make it sound more natural. Another difference is that in the official translation, Fuyumi says “All I could do” whereas in Japanese she said that she “only continued to” fix things on the surface. The panel also shows a small flashback of Endeavor dragging Touya away and Rei trying to stop him, while Fuyumi is standing in the background and slightly turned away. She’s shown in the sailor uniform that is typically worn by middle school students, so she would be around 12 years old, which was around the time Touya “died” - obviously at that age there wasn’t really anything she could have done against Endeavor so the translation isn’t entirely incorrect, however, judging by Touya telling Natsuo that he can’t talk to Fuyumi because she doesn’t understand, it seems like she probably always tried to remain impartial instead of siding with her older brother. While she couldn’t have stopped Endeavor, she could have at least been there for Touya as emotional support - which, might I add, is her whole purpose for existing - so that’s why saying that she “continued to” only fix things on the surface is a more accurate line.

「全部あなたが始めた事であなたが原因だーでも

俺がぶん殴って燈矢兄と向かい合わせてやれてたら。。。荼毘は生まれてなくて焦凍に盛り蕎麦をご馳走してやれてたかもしれない。」

「全部 ; zenbu 」-> all

「あなた ; anata 」-> you

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「始めた ; hajimeta 」-> to start

「事 ; koto 」-> situation; incident

「で ; de 」-> and

「あなた ; anata 」-> you

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「原因 ; genin 」-> cause

「だ ; da 」-> be

「でも ; demo 」-> but

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「ぶん殴って ; bunnagutte 」-> to hit hard; to give a hard blow

「燈矢兄 ; touya nii 」-> Touya-Nii

「と ; to 」-> with

「向かい合わせてやれて ; mukaiawasete yarete 」-> let someone face each other

「たら ; tara 」-> if

「荼毘 ; dabi 」-> Dabi

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「生まれてなくて ; umaretenakute 」-> wouldn’t have been born

「焦凍 ; shouto 」-> Shouto

「に ; ni 」-> to

「盛り蕎麦 ; mori soba 」-> cold soba

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「ご馳走してやれてた ; gochisou shite yareteta 」-> to treat someone to a meal

「かもしれない ; kamoshirenai 」-> may; might; possibly

= “You started all of this situation and you are the cause - but if I had hit you hard and could have let you face Touya-Nii, then Dabi wouldn’t have been born and he might have been able to treat Shouto to mori soba.”

The yarete that appears twice in this sentence is the potential form of yaru, which is used when something is given/done for someone from someone with higher status to someone with lower status. In combination with the causative form (making someone do something) as is the case with mukaiawasete, it changes the nuance from simply making someone do something to allow someone to do something.

Concerning this line, there was a huge difference between the fan translation that I read and the official translation. While the official translation matches with the Japanese line by having Natsuo say that he should have punched Endeavor (can we appreciate how funny that would have been, but also sad if TWO of your children have to stand up to you because you mistreat another family member), the fan translation that I first read had Natsuo say that he should have punched and faced Touya, which is a very different message. Fortunately, that doesn’t make sense and isn’t the actual line, though.

More importantly, mori soba??? I thought Shouto’s favorite kind of soba was zaru soba (it’s basically the same, but zaru soba has nori seaweed on top)…

「責任はあなただけのものじゃない。今回のことは私たち全員の責任。心が砕けても私たちが立たせます。あなたは荼毘と戦うしかないの。」

「責任 ; sekinin 」-> responsibility

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「あなた ; anata 」-> you

「だけ ; dake 」-> only

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「もの ; mono 」-> thing

「じゃない ; janai 」-> isn’t

「今回 ; konkai 」-> this time

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「こと ; koto 」-> situation; circumstance

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「私たち ; watashitachi 」-> we

「全員 ; zenin 」-> all members; everyone

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「責任 ; sekinin 」-> responsibility

「心 ; kokoro 」-> heart

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「砕けて ; kudakeru 」-> breaking

「も ; mo 」-> even if

「私たち ; watashitachi 」-> we

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「立たせます ; tatasemasu 」-> make someone stand up

「あなた ; anata 」-> you

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「荼毘 ; dabi 」-> Dabi

「と ; to 」-> with

「戦う ; tatakau 」-> to fight

「しかない ; shika nai 」-> have no choice but

「の ; no 」-> explanatory particle

= “The responsibility isn’t only yours. We are all responsible for this time’s circumstances. Even if your heart is breaking, we will make you stand up. You have no choice but to fight Dabi.”

This is one of those lines that really make you wonder whether the character is supposed to be like that or if the author just doesn’t understand what he’s writing. It’s questionable - to say the least - to say they are all responsible this time. While I continue to wonder how the non-heroes of the family are supposed to do anything here, why would a mother expect her children to be part of this? They are civilians and she expects them to somehow take care of saving their villain brother? Sorry, but she wasn’t even able to stop Touya from going outside to train, and now she expects her children to do better than her? No.

There’s also something very odd about her referring to him as Dabi. I understand that this is done to say that they intend on fighting Dabi and not Touya, and it’s true that Touya is in a way dead and Dabi was born instead. However, the problem with this idea of fighting “Dabi” is that it suggests that Dabi could somehow be killed while Touya survives when that is not at all how helping somehow who has been traumatized works. You can’t just reset him and somehow get him back to the state he was in prior to the traumatic experience (especially when the traumatic experience was basically his whole life). They won’t be able to just kill Dabi and have him go back to who he used to be because he has never been allowed to just be himself. Dabi is now a part of him. And not just that, but Dabi is the result of the trauma and thus functions as Touya’s surviving mechanism. This doesn’t mean that Dabi can’t be redeemed or be saved, it’s just that this idea of fighting Dabi and removing Dabi from Touya is bound to end in failure because that’s an impossible task and, again, the wrong approach to this.

Why exactly is a mother asking her and her children’s abuser to fight her child? Them going against Touya is what caused Dabi’s existence in the first place, which is what the conversation is more or less about, and yet she continues to think that fighting him is the right option here? A lot of people have suggested that this is done to cause a problem later down the line with Hawks and Best Jeanist listening in on the conversation and probably assuming the family doesn’t intend on saving Dabi in any way. But this is still a somewhat weak argument for two reasons: One, Hawks and Best Jeanist talk with the Todofam in chapter 303 and tell them that they will help to fight Dabi, so them teaming up means they should discuss this a little more and with that, there shouldn’t be any problems in terms of communication; and two, anything that happens in a story still has to be believable. If there is an issue or conflict it’s absolutely vital to convince the readers that this couldn’t somehow be prevented or easily resolved. But Rei isn’t vague here. She literally talks about Endeavor having to fight Dabi. So even if this is just in order for the other characters to misunderstand her, I do find it odd for a mother to suggest that her abusive husband should fight their child instead of finally acting like a parent and saving this child.

Until we know what exactly the family is going to do, we can’t determine whether this is just Horikoshi’s writing or if he intentionally made Rei like this, but for now, this just seems like a really weird thing to say. And even Endeavor can see this as shown in the next line:

「おまえ。。。本当に。。。冷か。。。？」

「おまえ ; omae 」-> you

「本当に ; hontou ni 」-> really

「冷 ; rei 」-> Rei

「か ; ka 」-> question marker particle

= “You… are you really… Rei…?”

「私たちよりよっぽど辛いハズの子が恨んで当然の私を再びお母さんと呼んでくれた。」

「私たち ; watashitachi 」-> us

「より ; yori 」-> than

「よっぽど ; yoppodo 」-> greatly; to a large extent

「辛い ; tsurai 」-> painful; difficult (emotionally)

「ハズ ; hazu 」-> ought to; should be

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「子 ; ko 」-> child

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「恨んで ; urande 」-> to bear a grudge against; to resent

「当然 ; touzen 」-> it’s natural to

「の ; no 」-> explanatory particle

「私 ; watashi 」-> I

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「再び ; futatabi 」-> again; once more

「お母さん ; okaasan 」-> mom

「と呼んでくれた ; to yondekureta 」-> called (と呼んで + くれた)

= “It’s natural for the child that should be in more pain than us to resent me. He called me mom again.”

Originally, I thought this was about Touya since these chapters are about his backstory. But then someone asked me whether this was actually about Shouto and someone else also pointed out that the next line is about Shouto, so it makes more sense that this is about him. And this is what I mean when I say that this writing is contradictory. How do they all reflect on the past, recognize that they didn’t understand Touya and neglected him and didn’t know how to be parents to him, but then say that Shouto is the one that suffered more than the rest of them? Obviously, it’s not a competition, and comparing who has it the worst is not helpful at all, but Dabi is literally alone right now and has been alone his whole life, while Shouto at least has his family and emotional support right now. Do they not hear what they are saying? How are they so dumb? Shouto also literally never resented you or stopped calling you mom, so maybe shift your focus to Touya? No wonder he left.

「雄英高校でお友だちをつくって私たちをつなぎとめてくれた。焦凍が轟家（ウチ）のヒーローになってくれたのよ。」

「雄英高校 ; yuuei koukou 」-> U.A. High School

「で ; de 」-> at

「お友だち ; otomodachi 」-> friends

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「つくって ; tsukutte 」-> to make

「私たち ; watashitachi 」-> we

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「つなぎとめてくれた ; tsunagitomete kureta 」-> saved (someone’s life)

「焦凍 ; shouto 」-> Shouto

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「轟家 ; todoroki uchi 」-> Todoroki household

「ウチ ; uchi 」-> one’s own family

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「ヒーロー ; hiro 」-> hero

「になってくれた ; ni natte kureta 」-> became

「の ; no 」-> explanatory particle

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

= “He made friends at U.A. and saved us. Shouto has really become our hero.”

Here we have another case of Kanji and Furigana being different. While the Kanji (what the character means) says “Todoroki household” the Furigana (what the character says) simply says “One’s family” and to be honest, I’m not entirely sure why there is a difference here. Like yes, obviously, by family she’s referring to the Todoroki family.

Anyway, this is probably the worst sentence in this entire chapter. There is nothing inherently bad about saying that Shouto is a good person and that he helped his family. However, he is a literal child. A minor. And a victim in this, just like his siblings - just like Touya. None of the kids are responsible for their family’s well-being or for correcting their parents’ mistakes, and yet here we are. Shouto shouldn’t have to be the family’s hero and feel the need to save his brother just because both his parents failed to be parents. Don’t get me wrong, I agree that Endeavor wouldn’t possibly get through to Dabi now (although realistically, Natsuo is the only one that could really get through to him) so it makes sense to get Shouto involved. But everyone praising him just further shows their inability to recognize that this exact mindset is what caused the problems in the first place. This whole idea of someone - specifically Shouto - being the one in the family who is able to be a great hero is what was part of Touya’s mental downfall. It’s also a harmful statement to make in general, as it pushes the “good victim, bad victim” mentality, where Shouto is seen as the good victim for being able to stay on a good path, live his life in a normal way and still speak with his parents, whereas Touya ended up turning himself into a villain and essentially throwing his whole life away in order to ruin Endeavor’s life, too. Aside from the fact that this mentality is problematic in itself by making it seem like there’s a right and wrong way to be a victim and that people who end up not being able to just move on from their trauma are somehow worthless and don’t deserve to get help, this sentence also shows the problem the family has: not learning from the past. Despite all the self-reflection we’re shown in this chapter with each family member expressing what they did wrong, they then continue to not change at all and just continue to demonize Touya. They are taking responsibility and admitting that they were wrong, just ignoring the problems and not saying the right things to him, but by claiming that Shouto is the hero of the family they continue to neglect why Touya ended up the way he did. Shouto was supported in reaching his goals. Obviously, Endeavor wanted Shouto to become a hero, but Shouto also always wanted to be a hero on his own accord. His mom reassured him that he could be whatever hero he wanted to be and not just be the next Endeavor. He was always supported both in his journey of becoming a hero and also emotionally through his family and his friends. That isn’t to say that he is somehow less of a victim, but it’s important to acknowledge that the reason he ended up on the “good path” was that he had people that reminded him that he wasn’t Endeavor and that he was free to be his own person. He was never held back from reaching his goals.

Touya, on the other hand, received the exact opposite treatment. He was kept from pursuing his goal and was only met with cheap excuses as to why he shouldn’t train, yet none of those arguments ever worked on him and so he continued to train on his own for almost ten years. Despite both his parents knowing about this, they never did more than just say “stop training” and thus actively ignored his problems. Even when he lashed out to Rei, she just watched as he walked away. It’s not surprising he calls her and Fuyumi useless when both of them sided with Endeavor instead of acknowledging his pain. Of course, he was going to end up on a “bad path” when he didn’t have a proper support system.

So saying that Shouto is the family’s hero might sound like an innocent compliment at first glance, but it only further shows how little the family understands why Touya has become Dabi, which becomes a bigger problem when they want to save him, something they won’t be able to do as long as they continue to fail to really see him and his pain.

「ここに。。。来る前お母さんと話した。おまえが。。。もう戦えねェと思って俺がやるしかねェって思ってた。。。でも違うみてえだ。」

「ここ ; koko 」-> here

「に ; ni 」-> to

「来る ; kuru 」-> to come

「前 ; mae」-> before

「お母さん ; okaasan 」-> mom

「と ; to 」-> with

「話した ; hanashita 」-> spoke

「おまえ ; omae 」-> you

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「もう ; mou 」-> yet

「戦えねェ ; tatakaenee 」-> unable to fight/ compete against

「と思って ; to omotte 」-> thought

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「やる ; yaru 」-> to do

「しか ; shika 」-> only (with neg. verb)

「ねェっ ; neee 」-> not

「て思ってた ; te omotteta 」-> was thinking

「でも ; demo 」-> but

「違う ; chigau 」-> to differ

「みてえ ; mitee 」-> looks; seems

「だ ; da 」-> be

= “Here… before coming, I spoke with mom. You… I thought you couldn’t fight anymore and I was thinking only I would do it.... but, it seems different.”

「泣き終わったら立てよ。皆で燈矢兄を止めに行こう」

「泣き終わったら ; nakiowattara 」-> when you’re done crying

「立て ; tate 」-> stand up

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

「皆 ; minna 」-> everyone

「で ; de 」-> with

「燈矢兄 ; touya nii 」-> Touya-Nii

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「止めに行こう ; tome ni ikou 」-> let’s go stop

= “When you’re done crying, stand up. Let’s go stop Touya-Nii with everyone.”

Anyway, that concludes the comparison for chapter 302, which took a while to make because, to be honest, this is a very odd chapter. I know people continue to view this as the Todofam intending on saving Dabi, but the problem is simply that the present time scenes don’t really make sense in context with the flashbacks. Endeavor crying for three chapters straight somehow symbolizes that he regrets the past and has changed when in reality, none of them fully understand where everything went wrong and are trying to fix the problem incorrectly. It feels a bit as though they are downplaying what happened and how much Endeavor and Rei are responsible for Dabi’s existence by simply boiling it down to them not knowing what to say to Touya and by having both Fuyumi and Natsuo say they are also responsible without their parents telling them that they were children and thus could not possibly be held responsible the same way.

Personally, I’m glad that the focus seems to be shifting away from this storyline for now because it was really hard to read this chapter with all these weird lines. While I do continue to hope that Dabi will be redeemed and saved by the end of the story, I also still think that Horikoshi isn’t writing this in a good way, considering the contradictions and the constant “good vs. bad victim” mentality that all these characters are constantly voicing paired with the really odd ways characters are acting at the moment (= Rei in chapter 303???). It’s odd they want Endeavor to be involved in this and even weirder that they (in chapter 303) accept Hawks and Best Jeanist wanting to be part of this too, when they all saw the broadcast and thus all saw that Hawks killed Twice, aka Dabi’s friend and someone on the same side as him, which makes it feel like they are either too dumb to realize or simply don’t care that there is a high chance that Hawks is just going to end up killing (or at least trying to) Dabi, too. It’s also odd that Rei is apologizing to both Hawks and Best Jeanist since Dabi hasn’t done anything to Best Jeanist so what’s up with that? Anyway, she better apologize to Dabi too...

Anyway, so right now, the translation differences aren’t so much a problem as the writing in itself is and for now, we will probably have to wait a while to see how this storyline will continue and how exactly they plan on taking care of Dabi.

Thanks for reading!

#translation #302 #todoroki #dabi #touya #bnha #mine #japanese #shouto

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princesscandijane · 3 years

Text

Chastity Tips by Candi Jane

These tips are coming from the perspective of a sissy(me😀), these things still help without the sissy element.

I have been hearing sissys keep saying that you want to do long term chastity, but are too weak. I am hearing about how you want to feel helplessly desperate and horny. But as you get too horny and before you reach helplessly desperate you grab the key, unlock your little clitty, and jerk off. Then you have to start the process all over. Ideally you would have a keyholder, someone that forces you to keep honest, but most of us are not fortunate enough to have one. So here are some things that may help. Notice how I always use the plural for keys? Chastity devices come with more than one key, so make sure you are keeping them all together😁

Mail your keys to yourself:

Pretty self explanatory, take a self-addressed envelope, put a stamp on it, seal your keys in the envelope and mail it away. This is a great one to get the keys completely out of your possession and away from you for a period of time.

Though I recommend at least using your real address so the keys get back to you 😜

Depending on how the mail runs in your area this could be a 2-5 day event, for the cost of an envelope and a forever stamp. If you mail it on Saturday night after pickup, the mail will not get picked up until as early as Monday, so that is an extra 36 hours. There are also holidays to consider in which the mail doesn’t run, so if you mailed your keys after pickup on Saturday of Labor Day weekend, the earliest the mail will pick up your keys will be Tuesday. By that point you will have already had almost 3 days of chastity, add that to how well the mail is in your area, you may end up in a week in chastity! That is not even mentioning mailing during the holiday season when the mail is at its busiest, at that point you may be hoping that the keys did not get lost in the mail 😬 Which is one downside to consider when mailing. How well do you trust your postal service? Sometimes things do get lost in the mail 🤷‍♀️

Freezing your keys:

This one does require you to have a fridge/freezer that you can use to freeze your keys. This one is a bit difficult to do if you share your fridge/freezer. Unlike mailing the keys to yourself, the keys will be with you, so there does require a little bit more restraint, but this can be a lot of fun. I had a lot of fun experimenting with this one, a proper sissy school girl doing proper sissy science 😚 So first and foremost don’t do what I did first and use a glass bottle. I first tried putting the keys in an old glass liquor bottle. That was a horrible idea

DO NOT USE A GLASS CONTAINER

As I learned, as water freezes it freezes from the outside in and expands which makes the frozen water less dense than the liquid water which is why ice floats. I also learned that it is a really strong force and will break the glass, as I learned when the bottle neck broke in my hand and crashed to the floor 😨 I was not injured😅

So next I used a plastic gallon jug, which has a couple of pluses. First and foremost it will not break into harmful pieces(at worst crack open), and second a gallon is more than twice as large of volume as the normal 1.75L that the large liquor bottle has (3.785 liters = 1 gallon) so it will take longer to defrost. Second mistake I made was dropping the keys in the bottom to freeze.

As everything melts from the outside in, this would be the first to defrost and makes the size of the container mostly obsolete. Solution: I tied the keys to a string, lowered it down until it was halfway in the container and taped the string to the jug.

Do not fill it to the top, remember water expands as it freezes so be sure to give it room. Freezing takes about 24 hours. I recommend checking in on it periodically, because ice freezes from the outside in and you will see your keys floating surrounded by its ice prison, and if needed you can add more water.

The first time I froze the keys in the gallon jug(keys at the bottom), I checked how long it took to defrost at 74F in the shade, and it took less than 8 hours. Those that are familiar with cooking meats, know that ideally you wouldn’t defrost at room temperature, but allow it to defrost in the refrigerator. After 24 hours of freezing I put the jug in the refrigerator. Following times are based on my fridge being set at the factory recommended coolness.

After a day the water on the outside has melted, so if my keys were at the bottom I would be able to pour them out at this point.

After 3 days the ice has defrosted enough in which I can now start to see the keys trapped in its frozen prison

Every day I see a bit more ice thawed, slowly and slowly seeing my keys becoming closer and closer to freedom

Finally after 7 days I see my keys floating freely in liquid water

Only one problem

The ice above is not thawed enough to let me pull the string out 😫 So I put it back in the fridge, and five hours later my keys were free!

From freezing to thawing was just over 8 days of chastity.

So the numbers I have for a gallon jug of water is: freezing - 1 day, thawing at 74F in shade ~ 8 hours, thawing in the fridge ~ 173 hours.

During this time you can start focusing on doing important things. At the longest it is 8 days, and that is plenty of time to accomplish things. Many sissys have maid fantasies, well use that time to clean your home, not just a little clean, but really deep clean your house(bonus if you have a uniform). Imagine your mistress/master will be inspecting it later. Ask yourself, “Would I want to serve someone that accepts this kind of work?” or “If I paid a couple hundred dollars for cleaning service, would I be satisfied?” whichever🙃 As you are locked up and cannot jerk off, you can start practicing on your blowjob and anal skills. Use this time to learn to deep throat, or work towards that ever elusive sissygasm. Set goals at the beginning of things that should be done by the time the keys are defrosted.

Because the keys take 8 hours to defrost at room temperature, certain tasks can equal x amount of time out of the fridge. Such as if you are practicing your deep throat skills, every time your nose touches the wall/floor equals five minutes out of the fridge. 8 hours would be roughly 100 times, or even for every second your nose to the wall/floor is five minutes. That gives over a minute and a half total of your throat being filled 😄 Cleaning your home can work in similar point systems too. Each chore is x amount of points, some may be more than others, as cleaning the bathroom takes a lot more than doing laundry(unless you are washing by hand). They don’t have to be sissy/sub tasks. You can make some of them for your better wellbeing. Such as, maybe you are someone that needs some motivation to get in shape. Have each mile jogged/walked/run can equal half an hour. Or can go simple and for the amount of time you spent working out is the amount of time spent out of the fridge. The plus side is you can work on your sissy figure and improve your regular quality of life 😁 These goals can really be for anything that you may need to work better on yourself, like reading more(yes I am talking to you), learn/practice a new language, learn/practice an instrument, even things that will help improve your career(insert your own examples lol). These are only a few examples. But make some tasks/goal(what needs to be accomplished) and rules(the rewards of completing a task and punishment for failing). Simple punishment is it goes back in the freezer. Remember to make sure your tasks/goals are realistic, and don’t try to tackle too many things at once. So often people get this huge motivation and think of all of these things they are going to do, but then when things aren’t working out the way they planned they give up. Schedules get made and when we can’t maintain them we give up. That is how those 10 dollar gyms are successful, their pay plan only works when the majority rarely/never show up. So if you set a really high goal that is unrealistic, say from never exploring anal to wanting to take Captain Ameica’s cock(see Chris Even’s cock) in that time period, maybe unrealstic. Or spending an hour a day working on your blowjob skills. Or the working out goal, you plan to run 2 miles every day, or every other day. That sounds great in theory, but if we fail to meet it we have a tendency to give up. You start out good for a day or two, then on day three you make an excuse on why you cannot and by day 5 you feel your goal is too far out of reach and give up. If that is the case, then adjust your goal and the tasks along with it, the first one may have been too ambitious. So if your goal/task is too difficult, instead of giving up on it, adjust it. Maybe I should be a Sissy Life Coach lol 🙃 Make the goals realistic, try to better yourself as either a sissy or even in your regular life. These are just some of my ideas on this.

I say this as doing this by yourself, but this is something that can be done in a keyholder relationship. And the keyholder can devise the tasks that serve them best.

Freewill:

Now freezing does take some freewill, there are plenty of ways to cheat, and get around things. It isn’t instant, but still freewill is required. Freewill doesn’t require you to freeze or mail or anything. So this last tip I have is: try to get better than the last time. I say this over and over, but remember baby steps. I did not go from buying my first chastity to 60+ 24/7 consecutive days. It took time and practice. I went an hour, then maybe two hours. If I got too horny or it got too painful, I would take it off. The next time I would try to go longer. My first attempt to sleep in chastity I gave up not even halfway through the night, it became too uncomfortable. I worked my way from there, now I prefer to sleep in chastity. So each time try to get better than the last, and if you fail, unlock and jerk off, or if you complete the time and are rewarded with unlocking yourself, well that’s a perfect time to work on becoming a cum eater 😛(again baby steps). If you always lose the urge after, then try to push yourself to at least bring some of it to your face, after that push yourself to taste just a little, and then go from there until you are eating it all 🤤 It may take some months but keep working at it😀

Have fun and drink cum ❤❤❤

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august-unhinged · 4 years

Text

Routine

Setting: modern day, unspecified Alpine university town Genre & tone: some kind of evil unhealthy romance-porn. Tone is light with dark undertones, and ditches the light halfway in. Themes: desperate approval-seeking, power imbalance, student/professor, established relationship Content: transmasc main character, m/m Kinks: servitude, rope bondage, forced orgasms, noncon, forced anal sex, praise and degradation, sadism/emotional sadism, masochism/emotional masochism, forced cheating Content warnings: Noncon. Painful sex. Unsafe kink practices. Power imbalance. Manipulative/abusive relationship. Trans person as the victim, cis men as the enactors of violence.

Word count is ~10k, there’s 3k words of setup. If you want to skip straight to the porn, scroll until you see the paragraph starting in bold.

Killian’s alarm rings every morning at seven. It rings, and he hates it with every fibre of his being for a moment before he comes to and realises where he is. It really is a blessing, he reminds himself every morning. Killian wakes up on a cramped campbed that ruins his posture, simultaneously cold and sweaty on the mornings when the mountain chill threatens at the window panes, and feels nothing but gratitude for his surroundings. The pale beauty of the alpine city sprawling below them is breathtaking, but it’s the house he’s in that really gives him pause. Because he wakes in Felix’s office. On a roll-out mattress behind the Professor’s desk. At the feet of his master, even unconscious.

He has this thought process in the time it takes for him to reach over and turn off his alarm. It used to take him ten minutes to snap out of the daze - but he quickly learned that Felix doesn’t tolerate daydreaming. Killian mutters the Lord’s Prayer as he pulls on his slippers; he’s grateful for rising another morning and for where he’s risen. He pads softly into the kitchen, floorboards becoming tile under his feet as he steps into the day’s routine.

Today is slightly different, though. Killian’s heart’s trilling in his chest, resistant to his efforts to not get his hopes up again. The past couple of months had been a litany of scattered anniversaries. There was the first time Killian had been to one of Felix’s parties, the first time Felix had read one of Killian’s papers (and said it was ‘fine’!), the first time they sat and smoked and got unreasonably high until dawn broke the clouds while Killian listened adoringly to Felix’s every word. None of these were tangible, though - hardly an accepted marker of the progression of a relationship, either. But a year ago today was when Felix casually handed Killian a key to his apartment alongside a vague explanation that it would just be easier for Killian to be able to come and go as he pleased, rather than having to interrupt Felix’s day whenever he needed something. It was an offhanded exchange that still made Killian’s heart flutter for weeks after. He is hyper-aware of the gift in his possession at all times. No matter where he keeps the key it seems to burn through layers of fabric, the cool metal branding his skin in a hopeless reminder that Killian belongs.

He sets the water to boil and sits at the counter to go through Felix’s diary. Chapter review at 11 - a pushback of a pushback, but Killian is still bracing himself for an early morning announcement that Felix has something far more important to do. Donors’ lunch at 1pm, where Killian will be ever-presently taking notes. And lectures in the afternoon. Killian always memorises Felix’s diary a week in advance but looking at it with the kettle quietly rumbling in the background always frames his day with a sense of purpose. He pencils in some notes under the donor’s lunch - names and how to remember them, jokes not to make so they’ll still give us lots of money - Felix can’t possibly be expected to remember it all. Killian puts the diary on the left of the breakfast tray so Felix can read it while he eats, fills a glass with orange juice so it won’t be too cold to drink by the time he brings it through. The kettle’s finished boiling and he fills the cafetière - a spoonful and a half of the good stuff, which sits on the shelf in front of Killian’s instant. He drops two slices of granary in the toaster and hunts for a knife.

Routine.

He thrives on it.

That being said, he’s changing it up a little today - as the coffee steeps, he steams the milk in an attempt to recreate something he saw in one of the local coffee shops Felix hates but Killian secretly enjoys. He’s in his own head, dancing to an imperceptible tune, trying to figure out how to pour it right to get the shape on top of the coffee-

And the toast pops up. Killian jumps, spilling the milk on the counter, the floor, and himself. ‘Fuck.’ The cup now contains nondescript beige liquid and a smattering of foam - it’s hopeless to begin to contemplate starting another, because Killian always times breakfast perfectly to-

Felix’s alarm starts ringing insistently, and with a heavy sigh Killian marmalades the toast, piles everything onto the tray slightly more haphazardly than usual, and brings it to Felix.

Killian misses when he could watch Felix at peace. By the time Felix is awake and Killian comes to greet him, the Professor’s face has already settled into the practiced disdain that morning brings him. ‘Morning,’ Killian calls as he opens the door with his elbow, doing his quick inhale-and-hold-it in case there’s a pretty twink in Felix’s bed.

There’s not. And breathe.

Killian sets the tray down on the bedside table and stays silent, waiting. Felix appraises the tray with a cool gaze.

‘Killian,’ he says, with enough leeway in his tone for Killian’s heart to begin pounding. ‘You know I take my first coffee of the morning black.’ He’s reproachful, less sympathetic and more pitying.

‘Quite right, Professor,’ come the automatic words as Killian picks up the cup and returns to the kitchen to start the whole tedious process again. Even tediousness has a special significance here, though. Everything Killian does, he does it for Felix.

Killian has felt even more in a daze than usual today. By the time he gets back to Felix’s place, he’s frustrated with himself. He made a fool out of himself in the chapter review, nodding along but not really listening, which became apparent after one particularly unforgiving stretch of silence where Killian was supposed to be talking. ‘We may as well leave it there, then,’ Felix had said, his tone final. They broke half an hour early.

Killian doesn’t want to go home. The simplicity of the phrase is enough to make him stop in his tracks halfway up the cobbled hill to the apartment. When did it become ‘home’? It technically isn’t - Killian still pays rent to a student-sized cardboard box twenty minutes from campus, where he returns in shifts to wash his clothes and pick up mail. But he hasn’t spent a night there since Felix gave him the key a year ago. It feels alien to sleep alone in his flat, surrounded neither by the familiar leather-and-papers scent of Felix’s office, nor the comforting knowledge that Professor is breathing quietly in the next room. The idea that he’s still sleeping in the old flat and that this was all a terrible fever dream wakes Killian up at least once a week. Killian shakes his head fiercely, as though to shake all unwanted thoughts out of his brain. He’s being ungrateful. If he’s reluctant to go to Felix’s because he’s made a tit of himself, well… he shouldn’t have made a tit of himself. He shrugs. Simple enough. Killian continues up the hill and ignores the part inside him that implores him to turn away.

It’s dark by the time Killian unlocks the door - on his walk there the streetlamps were just beginning to flicker on, breaking the dusky early-evening monotone. To his surprise, when he gets there, lights are on in the apartment. He had been expecting to be alone this evening. It’s useless to try and quash the hope that Felix has remembered, that he’s planned something, so Killian reluctantly allows himself to foster the damaging expectation that Felix would ever consider the relationship worth commemorating.

‘Hello?’ Killian calls towards the bedroom light, uncertain. The door opens and Felix steps out. He’s still in the suit he’d been wearing at work but his hair, usually tightly pushed back, is now falling in front of his face and his glasses are tucked into his jacket pocket. With the warm glow of the soft bedroom lighting behind him, filtering through the salt-and-pepper strands around his head and bringing out the warm hazel in his eyes, he looks divinely formed.

‘You’re back earlier than anticipated,’ Felix replies disapprovingly.

‘I could say the same about you,’ Killian says, attempting to be jovial. He drops his satchel by the door and bends to untie his laces.

‘I was hoping you’d spend the evening going over what we discussed earlier today.’ Killian worries at his lip.

‘I did this afternoon, Felix. It just took less time than I expected.’

‘Ah. Possibly because you spent our meeting daydreaming?’

Killian might be a silly romantic, but it gives him butterflies when Felix uses the first person plural when it’s just them in the room. It makes Killian feel like he’s a part of something worthwhile. Something bigger. ‘You’re doing it again.’

‘I’m sorry, Felix,’ Killian sighs. ‘I’m having an off day.’

‘Well, you won’t be able to afford that luxury in the future, Killian. So I suppose it’s best you have your “off days” now.’

This is Felix telling Killian he’s forgiven. He’s crossing to the kitchen now, busying himself with something Killian can’t figure out. There are cupboards that are functionally Killian’s to use, and Felix is inexplicably looking in them. ‘There’s marking on the desk, by the way. I need it before noon tomorrow.’ Killian grimaces internally.

‘Right - do you mind if I start later? I need to eat. Sorry.’ In the bustle of the donor’s lunch and the ever-present need for notetaking, he’d completely forgotten to eat and was now uncomfortably ravenous.

Felix tuts impatiently, as though at a slow child. ‘I’m cooking tonight, Killian. You have thirty-three papers to mark. Off you go.’

‘Oh. Right, okay. Yeah, I’ll just go and… do that.’ Killian hides the surprise in his voice as he answers but allows the confusion to stay on his face. It’s not that Felix can’t cook, it’s just that he has at least two meals out a week anyway, and it’s easier to delegate now Killian lives with him. Killian’s heart is fluttering again. He leaves the office door open a crack and crosses to the record player in the corner before he starts working on the papers. Well-practiced, he squats in front of the vinyl cabinet below the record player and slides out the fifth from the left - a jazz recording, one of Felix’s favourites. Reverently, he lifts the lid on the record player and sets the album A-side up, gently placing the needle onto the record’s outermost rim. The volume is already at the perfect setting for Felix to have it as background music, and Killian holds his breath.

No complaints from the kitchen.

For the first time that day, he allows himself to smile.

Dinner is gnocchi, brown butter, and sage. Killian scarfs it down, utterly and blissfully unaware of himself until the moment he drops his fork onto the plate and Felix clears his throat. For reference, Felix is less than a third of the way through his plate by this point. ‘Keeping your head firmly in the clouds is hungry work, I see,’ Felix gently mocks, and Killian laughs - breathy and embarrassing.

‘Hah, yeah, funny how that is, isn’t it,’ are all the words that tumble from his mouth before he reminds himself how to keep it shut. ‘How was your day?’

‘The lunch was frightfully tedious - it’s a constant source of horror to me that I must attend lunch after lunch to explain why the arts are worth funding ad nauseam. They’re trying to frame knowledge as a business, Killian, through the structures of client and customer and value for money - it’s reprehensible. To be frank, anyone who requires an explanation as to why the pursuit of knowledge is man’s only truly selfless act is not someone with whom I would engage anywhere other than a business lunch. Hopefully they won’t bother us for at least another year.’

Killian has been nodding furiously along the entire time - there’s just something about hearing Felix talk, in memorising every modulation in pitch and tone, that’s more relaxing to Killian than almost anything else in the world. ‘Write that down, by the way.’

‘About the pursuit of knowledge?’

‘That’s the one. Good boy.’ Felix always says these things so casually, like he doesn’t know what it does to Killian - namely, his mouth gets dry, his heart starts pounding, and a powerful ripple of heat shocks through his body. Felix is carrying on like he doesn’t know or care, though. He’s looking across at Killian’s notebook - full to bursting with Felix’s wit and opinions. ‘I am rather astute, aren’t I,’ Felix muses aloud - more to himself than Killian, really.

‘You really are, Professor,’ Killian murmurs, awestruck. He’s noting down what Felix has said in a half-daze.

‘Is that blue ink, Killian?’ Felix asks sharply, and Killian’s face contorts very briefly into a frown.

‘It is. I’m sorry, I can’t find my black pen for the life of me.’

‘Blue ink is for degenerates,’ Felix sighs, fixing Killian with a particularly withering look. But we are degenerates. Killian bites back the reply, hoping Felix can’t make out the defiance in his eyes. ‘You’d best carry on with your marking,’ Felix says pointedly, and Killian understands. He’s been dismissed.

By the time Killian emerges from the office it’s gone ten and his brain is exhausted. He’s done just under half the essays - more thoroughly than he needed to, probably - only relenting when his eyes started losing focus. Killian knows he’s tired when it takes him five minutes to piece together one sentence from the sea of quoted Greek and tiny little numbers, and is grateful that he’s forced himself to stop. As he stands to head through to the kitchen, he’s faintly aware of his head spinning, of every bone in his body grumbling. But beneath that, there’s an uncomfortable tension - a pulling together of muscles, a rush of connection at each synapse. His mind might be tired, but his body is very much awake.

He lets his breath out in an angry little huff and decides to have a bath, hoping to soak out of his skin any intention of not falling straight to sleep. The coldness of the kitchen tile radiates through his socks, grounding him to the present despite the discomfort as he gets ready to soak. Pre-bath rituals complete with some green tea now steeping in his favourite mug, he heads to the bathroom. There’s a window by the bath that overlooks the capital, high up enough that Killian can bathe without accidentally causing indecent exposure. He loves looking down at the city while wrapped in silky bathwater, dreaming about the thousands of lives bustling in the streets below.

Killian’s so wrapped up in himself, taking his time getting the water temperature right before putting the plug in, finding his favourite lavender bubble bath, that he doesn’t notice Felix’s presence until the Professor knocks on the bathroom door. Killian nearly jumps out of his skin, dropping the lavender bottle in the bath in the process. ‘Oh, shit.’ He laments.

‘...Are you quite alright in there?’

‘Yeah,’ Killian responds as he hurries to unlock the door, wiping wet hands on his shirt. He turns away from Felix once the Professor’s been let in, immediately dropping to the floor to mop up the splashed water with the bath mat.‘Yeah, I was just gonna grab a bath, then I dropped the bottle in and the lid’s still on but the water went everywhere, so right now I just need to-‘

‘You’ve been very clumsy today, haven’t you, Killian?’ Felix interrupts. It’s not really a question. Killian’s frantic movements slow, stutter, then halt entirely. He knows the tone and he nods, still kneeling, eyes on the slowly filling bath. ‘First the coffee, now this.’ Killian holds his breath as Felix sits on the edge of the bath and - after a moment that feels eternal - tangles his hand in Killian’s hair. Felix’s hand settles there, fingers pressing comfortingly against Killian’s scalp, and he can’t help but whine and lean into the touch. ‘What are we going to do with you?’ Felix murmurs. Again, not really a question. Felix already knows exactly what he’s going to do. He just knows how to tease Killian, press his buttons, work him up with anticipation. ‘Shower, and then join me in bed.’ Felix decides. Killian can’t help but find the affectionate tone under the imperative (or at least, he believes it’s there, and that makes it true enough for him). ‘I have a surprise for you. Tonight is a special occasion, after all.’ Felix gives Killian’s hair a short, sharp tug - a nonverbal reminder to hurry up - and leaves.

Killian whines helplessly again, all thumbs as he reaches into the bath to drain the water, heart thudding exponentially faster while he contemplates what Felix could possibly have for him. He can’t help but ponder the implication - that Felix has remembered, that he wants to show Killian he cares. His knees weaken under him. Absolutely pathetic, he chastises himself. For the next ten minutes, he concentrates on meticulously cleaning himself. He wants to make himself as perfect as possible, a blank canvas for Felix to ruin as he pleases. An involuntary shiver ripples through his body. He loves knowing that Felix has been planning something. That he’s been sitting contemplating new ways to get inside Killian’s mind, under his skin, and touch the raw nerves that he finds there until Killian is almost driven mad with it. The fact that Killian is important enough for Felix to even spend time considering this… surprise, whatever it is, is perhaps the greatest gift of all.

Killian shuts the water off. The sudden silence makes him hyper-aware of his short, trembling breaths. He reaches towards the bathroom cabinet where he had carefully laid his cross after taking it off, but his hand falters. He’s aware of how ridiculous this sounds - how ridiculous Felix would find it - but he wants whatever’s going to happen to be between Felix and himself only. There’s some things that he’s allowed to keep secret, he thinks.

Wrapping himself in a fluffy towel, Killian steals softly across the kitchen floor to Felix’s bedroom. Light spills under the door, which is open ajar - but Killian still feels the need to knock. The space he and Felix share may well be as much his as Felix’s, but the Professor’s bedroom still feels strangely off-limits. Killian doesn’t go in alone. And even when Felix is in there, permission is required to enter.

‘Come in and close the door behind you,’ Killian hears from beyond the door, and follows suit immediately. It’s only once he’s heard the click of the door closing and they’re fully alone together that he looks over at the bed. Felix sits on top of the covers, reading. He puts the book down, takes his glasses off, and appraises Killian slowly. There are two items to his right; a familiar length of black rope, and an unfamiliar box - also black, understated and nondescript. Killian waits for Felix’s permission to sit, which is granted by a wave of the hand. He sits on the opposite corner of the bed to Felix, legs tucked under himself, determined not to wither under Felix’s gaze. ‘Well?’ Felix prompts. Killian is tongue-tied, and can only look helplessly at his Professor as his face reddens - embarrassed at not figuring out what Felix wanted quickly enough. ‘Aren’t you going to open it?’ Felix asks softly, and the tension in Killian’s chest dissipates into something manageable.

‘Y-yes, of course. Sorry,’ he mumbles, inching closer to what he can now be sure is the surprise. He’s slightly taken aback by the weight of the box as he picks it up, and his breath catches in his throat as he lifts the lid to reveal its cargo.

It’s a wand. The head is soft black silicone, perfectly smooth and about the size of Killian’s fist - the body tapers down into a dial and cordless end. The light below the dial is green; it’s fully charged. Killian tries to swallow but his mouth is suddenly dry. He settles instead for an audibly shaky intake of breath before he looks up at Felix.

The smirk on Felix’s face is maddeningly attractive, the upturn of his lip a promise that he knows exactly what to do with Killian’s new toy. ‘Thank you,’ Killian breathes.

‘You haven’t even begun to thank me,’ Felix responds, quick as ever - Killian wishes he had his notebook, because that one was good. He feels heat melting in his abdomen, a dangerous current pulling down at the simultaneous promise-threat. ‘Tell me, have you ever used one of these before?’ Killian shakes his head silently, still in awe. It’s true that he’s never even touched a wand before, but Killian had seen one used on someone else - the unforgiving hardness pressed against writhing and desperate flesh. A flush delicately creeps his way up his neck and across the tips of his ears. ‘It seems as though you know what to expect, though,’ Felix continues, tone low and dangerous. ‘I was going to allow you to feel it on your hand first, but now I see no reason to delay ourselves any further.’

‘I-I think that’s wise, Professor,’ Killian stammers, so desperate to ingratiate himself to the man who now holds the instrument of Killian’s pleasure-torture.

‘Oh, you think it’s wise, do you?’ There it is - the low growl, almost imperceptible, giving away Felix’s quiet affront. ‘Come here, boy.’

Killian crawls across the bed and, when he’s close enough, resists the urge to fall to his knees at Felix’s feet in supplication. It’s wise to start begging for mercy now, while he still has most of his faculties. Felix cuts his train of thought short as he twists his hand into Killian’s hair, tugging sharply to lift Killian’s head. ‘I don’t need to know what you think, Killian. That’s not what I have you here for.’ The slap round the face Killian gets for his actions is almost gentle - there’s a stolen moment of a caress that Felix gives Killian’s cheek after his hand has made contact with it.

‘Yes, Professor.’ Felix pushes him away and instead reaches for the rope. There’s a moment of untethered panic Killian feels in his chest at the loss of contact which takes most of his energy to quell.

‘Take that towel off,’ Felix orders offhandedly. On shaky legs, Killian stands, and lets the towel fall on the carpet below. Out of the corner of his eye, Felix watches. The soft curve of Killian’s thighs is only magnified by the gentle dusting of hair along the contours of his body. There’s some that gathers on his chest, an expanse of pale skin disrupted by two pink scars. The surrounding skin there is so sensitive - Felix can drive Killian mad by just tracing his fingers up and down the incisions. Felix looks away as Killian moves to get back on the bed. ‘Don’t leave it on the floor,’ he says in a practiced exasperated tone. Killian bends to pick it up and Felix allows himself a rare smile of appreciation. The boy’s skin is still slightly damp from the shower - the way the light catches the beads of water is rather appealing. Felix has finished unraveling the rope by now. Killian sits cross-legged on the bed, awaiting direction. ‘Come here,’ Felix says softly, and Killian crawls towards him, presenting his wrists to be tied. He knows the score and order of things by now; Felix is nothing if not methodical.

But tonight, as Killian should have guessed, is different. Felix frowns. ‘No, turn around. Hands behind your back.’ Killian does so, and feels Felix tug at his hands, pulling his arms into an uncomfortable shape for a moment. He winces just as Felix lets go, and the relief from the discomfort makes the throbbing he feels between his legs whenever Felix touches him all the sweeter. ‘Put them together.’

‘What?’

‘Palms together. Like you’re praying.’

Killian struggles for a moment - Felix’s hands are gripped just above each of his elbows, holding his upper arms firmly in place as the young man flounders in his grip. He can sense the Professor becoming more impatient with each passing second he fails to do what is asked of him, and just as he hears the click of Felix’s tongue preparing to tut, his fingertips press together in a prayer-like pose. His little fingers jut uncomfortably between the base of his shoulder blades, and he gasps out when Felix removes his hands from his upper arms and forces his palms together.

‘There. That wasn’t so difficult, was it?’

Killian is trying to summon the will to say that it was, actually, and if this is meant to be fun he has several complaints, when he feels the rope around his wrists. Ah, shit. He tries to see the bright side; at least he can relax his muscles a little when Felix is done. Felix is tying him meticulously, spending much longer than usual, and Killian bites his lip whenever he feels the rope tug tightly against his skin. Felix announces that he has finished the tie by pushing Killian face-down onto the bed. It takes Killian aback somewhat, and he is about to move reflexively when he feels Felix’s hand on the small of his back. The discomfort from the rope is still there, but the longer he lies there with his arms aching, the more the pain is accompanied by another sensation under his skin. Deeper, in his belly and between his legs, and warmer, the heat in him building steadily. Felix gives Killian’s arm a tug, and the rope bites deliciously when he does. Killian cries out softly.

‘Oh, bless.’

Felix’s voice is dripping with condescension. Two of his fingers trace up Killian’s thigh and begin to rub his t-dick lazily. Killian whines, pushing his hips back against Felix’s fingers. He can feel himself throbbing and hard under Felix’s touch already. When they’re out together, Felix need only brush his hand against the small of Killian’s back a handful of times before he’s desperate for him; Killian has felt this need since Felix told him to come to bed. He’s just been waiting for Felix’s sign that he ought to express it. So conditioned, like a good pet ought to be. Felix hums in approval when he sees the wetness dripping down towards Killian’s cock, where the Professor’s fingers still circle tightly.

‘This is why I can never get rid of you, darling boy. It would simply be too much effort to train someone else as thoroughly as I’ve trained you.’ Killian moans at that; a deep sound barely muffled by the pillow, and he feels another gush of wetness between his legs as his pussy flutters and tightens. ‘Oh dear. I do underestimate the effect that statements like that have on you, don’t I, dearest?’

Killian writhes, incoherent mumbles dropping from his mouth at the terms of endearment Felix is lavishing on him. The writhing sends pain shooting from his arms, still tightly bound behind him, but Killian relaxes into the discomfort. ‘I think you’re ready now,’ Felix murmurs, and Killian feels something pressing against his dick, soft but unyielding, curved, and his brain is still processing this new information when Felix turns it on.

The wand is soft at first, but the vibrations go deep, shaking Killian’s core as he eagerly pushes back against the instrument, grinding his pussy happily against the wand’s head. He feels the hand Felix had been touching him with on the back of his thigh, wiping it clean before settling it on the small of his back again.

‘Good boy,’ Felix mutters, and Killian tries to turn to look at him but finds the weight of his own shoulder keeping his face in the pillows. He has a sense of something - Felix’s voice, just for a moment, has dropped from the cadence and tone he uses to praise and into something else, something more calculating. But just as Killian begins to consider this train of thought, there is a click - and then two - as Felix turns the wand up and up again, and Killian bites down against the pillow as moans shudder through his body. The best way he can describe the wand’s sensation is insistent - it ripples through him continuously, and though Felix is shifting it around every so often there is not one moment where the feeling is dampened, not one second of respite from the feedback loop being created between Killian’s legs. Killian has stopped grinding against it because he doesn’t need to, but his hips have started stuttering of their own accord, jumping every so often and snapping back down against the toy.

He is dripping, the wetness collecting in a small pool between his knees on the duvet and serving to make the wand glide against him more easily. Felix has stopped moving it and is just holding it there, right underneath the head of his dick, so that with every involuntary movement of Killian’s body he is pressing the most sensitive part of himself against it. This causes him to flinch, which causes his arms to pull away from one another, which causes the ropes to dig harder into his skin, which causes Killian to whimper and his dick to throb, which means for a moment the wand is that much stronger against him.

‘You’re in quite the predicament, aren’t you. I’m amazed you haven’t come yet, dear.’

Twisting his head as far as he can, Killian grits out: ‘you haven’t - given me permission - Professor.’ The thought hasn’t even crossed his mind. He has learned control of his body, an extension of Felix’s command over him, and it comes so naturally to him now it is difficult to even consider breaking out of it.

‘Oh, of course. Such a good little thing, aren’t you? Go on, why don’t you come for me.’ Felix says it so offhandedly as he turns the toy’s intensity up once more, and Killian keens loudly. Just the act of receiving permission changes so much in an instant; he had been fighting, and now he relaxes into the way the vibrations rumble through him. Felix wants this, he thinks to himself. Felix wants me to make a mess of myself like the stupid little toy I am. He moans loudly, and Felix’s hand lifts from Killian’s back and twists into his hair. ‘I’m thinking of doing this to you more often, you know,’ the Professor mutters, and the feeling of his soft breath against Killian’s ear has his hips desperately grinding down against the toy again. ‘You’re so needy, it’d be far easier for me to force an orgasm out of you every so often to keep you at bay. So you can focus on your true purpose.’

Killian feels tears of gratitude gather at the corners of his eyes. The sensation is building in him now - he can feel it deep inside him, the desperate contracting of his pussy as more of his slick floods out of it, the sliding and shifting of his cock against the strong vibrations of the machine pressed unyielding against him. ‘That’s right,’ Felix coos, petting the back of Killian’s hair. ‘Really savour this one, darling. I understand the more of them I force you to have, the more unpleasant it is for you.’

With a surprised, choked gasp, Killian comes, his legs closing around the toy and frantically pushing it up against himself as his dick throbs and pulses. His pussy tightens, desperate for something to fill it as the orgasm rips through him. He is moaning into the pillow, thrusting down until his cock becomes too sensitive to bear it, at which point there is a groan followed by a long silence, and then higher, whimpering cries until Felix shuts the toy off.

He leaves it where it is pressed against Killian’s cock, though. As he slowly returns to Earth, Killian notes the burn in his shoulder muscles, waiting to feel Felix’s cool hands on the knots, to slowly untie him. But in his post-orgasmic state, Killian is completely pliant and does not struggle, let alone immediately process it, when Felix starts to wrap rope around his ankles. After several seconds utterly silent, Killian twists his head and asks, ‘what you doin’?’

Felix slaps the top of his thigh enough to sting. ‘What are you doing, Professor.’

‘S-sorry, Professor… what are you doing, Professor? What’d you mean about, uh… about forcing me to have… to have more…’

‘Well, it is a special occasion.’ Killian’s heart blooms in his chest. ‘I wanted you to have something to occupy you while I’m gone.’

The tie between Killian’s ankles is finished with a sharp tug, and the Professor moves onto something on his thighs. But Killian’s mind is singularly focused now, his heart floundering against his ribs, his face creased in a deep frown as he tries to figure out what the Professor could mean.

‘While… you’re gone, Professor?’

‘It’s my daughter’s birthday.’ Felix replies simply, before gripping Killian’s shoulder to turn him over, one hand holding the unfinished tie in place as he does so. Killian’s eyes blearily focus on Felix, whose attention is solely on the rope. Killian shakes his head.

‘N-no, it would’ve been in your diary… I would’ve seen…’

The Professor looks up at him at that.

‘That diary is for my work engagements, and personal engagements that happen to overlap with my academic ones. I only tell you what I need you to know, Killian, and I’m sure you’ll understand that I don’t need the assistance of a postgraduate barely out of his Master’s to remember my child’s birthday.’ Felix’s gaze is cool as he looks at Killian. Calm. He’s just stating facts, Killian reassures himself. This is what he’s like. Tears, again, at his eyes, but hotter this time. He can feel his face burning. Felix looks back down.

‘Her mother took her to dinner this year, but Yvette’s invited me to join her and her husband for drinks, hence the late hour. I’ve got no morning tutorials tomorrow; I doubt there would be any harm done.’ Killian nods. Felix didn’t have to volunteer that information, and it would have been no right of Killian’s to ask, but he wanted Killian to know. Felix is so thoughtful, even at times like this. But still…

‘Perhaps I could- you might need- in case you say anything noteworthy-’

Felix chuckles to himself. Killian hates when he does that. Like he’s too stupid to even be in on the joke. But there’s a reason, he reminds himself, always a reason.

‘You think my daughter would appreciate my turning up to her birthday celebrations with my pet whore?’

Killian lets out one shameful sob as his hips jump under Felix’s hands. Felix tuts. ‘Be still, boy. You’re meant to enjoy this.’

Killian cranes his neck up to see what Felix is actually doing. The tie is nearly finished; the toy is now held firmly against Killian’s cock by his own legs, pulled up to sit flush against him by ties that sit above his hips. He is trapped. ‘Felix, what-’

‘I had a look at those papers you marked before I came in to see you. The last handful are sloppy, Killian, and I couldn’t have you trying to mark any more when you’re clearly exhausted and in need of… something.’ Felix’s gaze drops pointedly to the wet spot on the duvet. ‘This will keep you busy, stop you from moping while I’m out and, most importantly, keep you from attempting to finish off the rest of those papers even more pitifully than before. Also,’ and it is at this point that Felix leans over him, and Killian can see how hard he is, his cock straining against his suit trousers, ‘I rather like the idea of you tied up like this, waiting for me to come home.’ He flicks the toy on again, and Killian whimpers.

‘But Felix-’ the older man gives him a sharp look, and Killian corrects himself, ‘Professor, won’t I be… what if it’s too much?’

‘It will run out of battery,’ the Professor responds airily, ‘eventually.’ He pulls at Killian’s shoulder again until the boy is laid on his side, and turns the toy up higher until Killian is gasping for breath, his sensitive cock pulsing already with the onslaught of sensation. Killian feels his muscles throb again as the Professor releases his grip on Killian’s shoulder. ‘Remember to keep wiggling your fingers, dear. I did make that quite tight.’

Killian opens his mouth to thank the Professor for his advice, thank him for going out of his way to do all this to save Killian from himself, to tell him to enjoy his night, but is cut off by the sound of a ringing phone from Felix’s jacket. Felix waves an impatient hand at Killian, having sensed he was going to speak, and picks it up.

‘Hello? Yes, darling, I’m almost there… traffic’s bloody awful, I’m afraid. Taxi driver’s absolutely not helping. He’s not getting a tip.’ He shares a laugh, Killian presumes, with his daughter, and he’d be pleased to see him so happy if it weren’t for the insistent buzzing between his legs, the pressure building before Felix has even left. Felix hangs up. ‘What was it you were going to say?’ Killian swallows.

‘How old is she?’

‘Yvette? She’s twenty-seven today, not that it’s any of your business.’

‘Of course, Professor. I’m sorry.’

Felix sighs.

‘You are pitiful, Killian.’ He turns the wand up one last time and goes to leave. ‘Have fun.’

Killian drops his head to the bed and starts to moan and shudder, relaxing once again into the sensation, trying to ignore the weight in his chest and the anxiety clawing at his stomach and the restless ache in his bound arms. Stopping in the door, Felix takes one look back at him, pale skin turned red and purple between the black ropes, body shifting and rippling under the onslaught, sighs, and turns off the light.

The bedroom door clicks shut, then the front door, the locks fall into place, and Killian is left alone with only the weak light of the toy between his legs to illuminate him.

He sobs his way through his next orgasm, which turns to screams as the toy doesn’t stop, the intensity felt so much more keenly in his tragic and post-orgasmic state. The boy has the decency to bite the pillow under his head as the toy rips them out of him, again and again, and all he can think of is Felix, and what the lesson here may be, and the fact that he’s four years younger than his daughter, that Felix is easily old enough to be his father, but that Felix has never remembered his birthday. When he thinks of this he comes hard and angry, tearing at the pillow with his teeth, and growling and sobbing until - mercifully - the fucking thing dies.

Killian cannot count the orgasms forced from him, but he can feel the number in his pelvic muscles, aching from the shuddering desperate motions he’d been making for hours. His arms and shoulders burn but he has run out of tears, so he sobs dry and resigned into the pillow until he falls into some kind of sleep.

The sleep is not restful; Killian only gets a few minutes at a time, sometimes half an hour, before he shifts unconsciously and sends a pain searing down his spine or his arms. Whenever he wakes, he tries to remember to wiggle his fingers. They’re tingly. He has just dropped off again when he’s woken by keys jingling, and his eyes light up. Felix is home. He hears footsteps crossing the threshold, but they’re heavy, heavier than Felix’s. Christ, he thinks, Felix has brought some musclebound twunk home. Killian lets out a sigh, waiting for the telltale click of Felix’s footsteps. The light clicks on, the front door closes. Still only one set of footsteps in the house, and if he strains his neck, Killian can make out a shadow under the door. His chest rises and falls rapidly as he turns to bite the pillow again to stay as silent as possible. Whimpers of fear are already rising in him, his sleep-deprived mind dragging forward nightmare scenarios to play with the panic.

The footsteps are getting closer. He screws his eyes shut. Tries to will himself out of existence. The door handle turns, and the door swings open. Orange bursts in front of his eyelids as the light switch clicks on, and Killian hears a sharp inhale and a long exhale. Hyperventilating, he scrambles to look; at some point in the night he fell forwards, and he struggles around on the bed to flip over and see this intruder. His thrashing around is useless, and soon he feels broad, warm hands lifting him onto his back. Killian squints up against the bright light, and is shocked to see that he… recognises this man. The man is physically imposing, tall and wide, with the weathered-muscle shoulders of someone past their physical prime but so set in himself that the structures of strength remain, stubborn against the greying stubble on the man’s jaw and the soft curve of his belly. His eyes are dark and glint down at Killian with menace, with glee.

It takes him a second to place, but no, this is-

‘Josef…’ Killian says. The bouncer at the fancy bar downtown where Felix tends to host his… parties. He turns a blind eye to a lot, provided Felix tips him generously at the end of each semester. ‘What are you doing in m- in Felix’s house? Why do you have the keys?’ His mind already begins to run through the infinite horrible possibilities - that the security guard, tired of his job, maybe, had snapped, assaulted Felix and had come here to find what valuables he could before fleeing the country. Maybe he was here to kidnap Killian. Maybe-

‘Felix sends his apologies,’ the man laughs, grinning down at Killian’s bound and aching body. ‘He was just about to head back to you when this kid walked in - exactly his type. Like you, y’know, but… kinda skinnier.’ He tilts his head. ‘Less tired-looking. Had to ID him and all. Anyway, the prof was fretting about you being here, all…’ he gestures to Killian’s predicament. ‘So I told him I’d come back here and take care of you. As a favour. He was very grateful.’ He smiles. Killian feels sick, and tries to concentrate on what Josef said - that Felix was worried about him. It warms his heart a little. But Josef still hasn’t taken his hands off him.

‘I refuse to believe he allowed this,’ Killian stammers, trying indignantly to struggle out of Josef’s grip. ‘He told me he’d be back. He told me he was coming home.’

‘Well, he told me to take his keys and get you out of this. Just in time, too. You’re looking pretty rough back there.’ Now that he mentions it, Killian has to admit that his arms are fucking killing him. Josef reaches into a drawer in the side table, and Killian thinks of protesting before he sees a familiar flash of silver. ‘Right where he said they’d be,’ he says to Killian, holding the safety scissors aloft. ‘Now do you believe me?’ Killian wavers still. ‘Look, you can say no if you want, but Felix looked pretty determined to fuck that guy.’

Killian imagines what this boy looks like. If he knows Felix, Killian doubts he’s over twenty. Probably exactly like him, a fresher wandering about and exploring, waiting for someone to take pity. His lip curls into a small sneer. Not exactly like him, though. Because Felix had said he was indispensable. That he could never get rid of him. He turns to Josef.

‘Then cut me free, please.’

Josef obliges, flipping Killian back over and making short work of the intricate ties binding Killian’s arms together. He hisses in pain as the movement and feeling return to his forearms, his wrists, his fingers, and he allows them to fall uselessly to his sides. Josef then turns his attention to the rope around Killian’s hips and between his legs, and pulls the toy out from between Killian’s thighs. Killian winces when he pulls it away, the head of his cock still so sensitive, the wand making a soft sound as it is pulled from the wetness between Killian’s legs. Last to go are the ties on his ankles. Killian shifts, intending to move, before noticing that Josef is still straddling him at the knees. The man’s body weight shifts up until he is astride Killian’s ass. Had he missed some rope? Killian flexes his arms; no, nothing still wrapped around him, no reason for him to…

He feels a rough hand caress his back. ‘It’s so close to the end of the semester, right… Felix said he thought I should take my own bonus tonight.’ Killian’s blood runs cold.

‘H…’ the sound dies on his tongue, his mouth suddenly dry. ‘He wouldn’t.’

‘But he did, darlin’.’ Killian feels something pressing against the crack of his ass, clad in jeans, rough against his soft skin. ‘Now, listen, I’ve helped you out here. Think I deserve a little something in return.’

Christ, Killian thinks, and his mind jumps to his cross - still where he left it on the bathroom shelf. He is alone in this place. And so he tries, really tries, to fight. But he’s so tired. He’s had less than an hour of sleep, his arms are useless, all pins and needles when he tries to force them to move, and he aches between his legs. He tries to kick Josef, bringing his heels up to catch the man in the back, but the bouncer catches his foot easily and twists it as Killian yelps.

‘Yeah, I thought so… see, I was thinkin’ about not lettin’ you out first first, then I took one look at you and knew, even untied, you’d be too weak to stop it from happening.’

Killian hears the sick metallic crunch of a zipper. Josef moves back between his legs, one strong hand on each of Killian’s thighs. And Killian feels himself leaning into the touch. Felix so rarely touches him like this. His hands always feel so dispassionate, but Josef’s…

No. No, this is wrong; Felix can’t have meant for Josef to do this. They’ve never talked about it. Killian shakes his head. ‘Stop.’ He mumbles.

Josef pushes his legs apart. Killian tenses in fear at the sensation of the fat head of Josef’s cock rubbing against his hole. ‘What’s that?’

‘Stop it.’

‘Ah, you’re all wet still… gotta thank Felix for gettin’ you ready like that. I can just slide right in.’

He does, and Killian lets out a choked cry. ‘Stop it,’ he tries to insist, wriggling pitifully, but the movement just makes Josef groan as he fills Killian’s pussy with his thick cock, forcing the boy’s legs apart farther to gaze down at the way the boy’s hole is swallowing him.

‘You know, fr’a boy who’s tryna tell me you don’t want it, you’re taking my cock awful well,’ he sneers, and Killian winces as the zipper brushes his cock with every thrust the man makes inside of him, but he doesn’t reply.

‘Aw, silent treatment, is it? Tha’s alright. Don’t need you to talk. Just need you to keep your legs open.’ His thrusts are rough and hard, and Killian’s body shifts and rocks with every movement. Killian’s head is turned to one side. He imagines it’s Felix fucking him like this. But Felix’s touches are so different; his hands are cool, smaller than Josef’s, and he rarely holds Killian down like Josef is. He’s usually pinching, scratching, slapping, pulling Killian’s hair; a constant onslaught of attack, physical and often verbal, always designed to make Killian arch his back in a more pleasing way, or take him deeper, or moan differently.

‘Felix…’ Killian whispers, eyes closed, pretending.

‘No,’ says Josef as he rolls his hips hard against the boy beneath him. ‘Don’t do that,’ he says between breaths. ‘Impolite.’ One of his hands moves from its place on Killian’s thigh, round to his front, groping and feeling for his dick. Killian tries to remain impassive, but can’t hide the way he jumps, gripping Josef’s cock tighter as his thumb presses down against the sensitive flesh. ‘You’re here.’ Josef mutters. He starts rubbing Killian’s cock in time with his thrusts. ‘Right here. With me.’ The man’s insistent toying with his cock combined with the rough thrusts into him begins to drag small moans and whimpers out of Killian. He whines helplessly every time Josef bottoms out inside him, a pathetic little mewl that he hates to admit sounds, ever so slightly, like he is enjoying this.

‘Yeah, fuck,’ Josef murmurs, and Killian thinks he’s talking to himself at first. ‘Said you’d be like this. Said it wouldn’t take you- long- to warm up to me.’

‘No he didn’t,’ Killian insists desperately, but Josef’s cock fills him so deeply for a moment that his last word is drawn into a whine. Josef laughs again. His laugh is crackly, a smoker’s chuckle, a laugh that Killian had come to appreciate over time. Not now, though. Not any more.

‘Yeah, he did. Talks to me ‘bout you. Tells me you’re a whore.’ Killian feels Josef’s elbow at the top of his spine as the man puts more of his weight onto him, leaving himself freer to thrust up harder into him. Every inch of the man’s dick ebbs and fuels the ache in Killian’s pussy at once, and his eyes squeeze shut as the man’s nicotine-laced breath tickles his earlobe. ‘Said he’s been thinkin’- ‘bout doing this - fr’a while. Whorin’ you out. Teachin’ you your place.’

Killian’s pussy spasms around Josef’s cock.

‘Like fucking clockwork.’

That’s what makes Killian lose it. How dare he? How dare he have the audacity to say these things, to assume he knows Killian, knows him like Felix does? He twists and wriggles, and the burst of adrenaline combined with the surprise of it allows him to struggle off Josef’s cock and up the bed slightly. There is a silence from behind him, before Josef grabs his hair and pulls his head upwards. Killian yelps in fear. Jesus, did he really think this would be enough?

‘Oh, you stupid bitch.’ Josef throws him back down on the bed, hard enough to make the frame shudder. Breathing heavily, he pushes Killian’s legs further apart.

‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry,’ Killian stammers.

‘Shut it. Need an incentive to keep still? I’ll give you a fucking incentive.’ Josef positions his cock, still dripping with Killian’s wetness, at Killian’s asshole. ‘Whore. Felix said you didn’t have it in you to fight. That you’d agree to it soon as I told you he allowed it. Didn’t say anything about having to teach you a fucking lesson.’

Killian begins to shake his head frantically. It’s rare that Felix fucks his ass, and Killian secretly relishes it because it’s one of the only times Felix really is careful with him. ‘Please don’t. It won’t go in. It won’t, I’m not ready, I don’t know where the lube is.’

‘Keep your fucking mouth shut, boy,’ Josef says, twisting his hand in Killian’s hair tighter as he grunts and pushes the slick head of his cock against Killian’s ass again. He’s pushing and pushing, and Killian is still, breathing fast like a frightened animal. Josef has his elbow screwed against Killian’s spine. There is no escaping it. He just has to wait until Josef realises he can’t fuck him like this. But Josef is still pushing, holding his cock with his free hand, forcing and forcing against the first tight ring of muscle until-

Killian howls in pain. He feels something give, and Josef’s cock, thick enough to have made his pussy feel stretched, sore, bruised, slides into his ass. Josef shoves Killian’s face down into the pillow, forearm on the back of his neck as Killian screams and sobs at the feeling, so alien, tearing through him. His arms are still weak but they are flailing in an attempt to grip onto anything as some kind of tether. He finds the bedpost and grips for dear life. Josef settles himself inside Killian and just as the pain starts to ebb away, Josef begins to move.

It does not feel like Killian remembered it. Josef is so big, and the slow burn of the stretch and endorphins from the pain are morphing into some kind of pleasurable haze, with the punctuation of a loud, low groan from the man on top of him. Josef lets himself fall onto Killian, keeping him still through the weight of muscle and flesh alone, as his cock pumps in and out of him. His stubble scratches Killian’s back. Killian is somewhat aware that he is still crying.

‘Shh, don’t cry,’ Josef mutters, and Killian lets out a moan-whimper at the sensation of Josef’s cock filling and stretching him completely once again. ‘Fuck, so tight. So good. See, you are good, aren’t you. You know how to be good.’

‘Mm-hmm,’ Killian whines.

‘Felix knows what’s best for you, see,’ Josef mutters, and Killian can smell the whiskey on his breath now he’s so close. ‘Wouldn’t’ve sent me here if he din’t know there was somethin’ I could give you.’

His hand slides beneath Killian’s body again, and Killian allows it.

‘Yeah, tha’s it. G’na make you come, baby boy,’ and Killian cringes at the pet name even as his cock twitches under Josef’s fingers. ‘G’na make you come before I fill you up.’

Panic sets in again.

‘Please don’t come in me,’ Killian whispers, ‘please, Felix will be angry.’

‘Shh, shh,’ Josef mutters. He is moving slower than when he was fucking Killian’s pussy, but there’s more weight behind his thrusts, and Killian feels each one ripple through him. There is some deep satisfaction in the way Josef’s cock stretches him open. Killian thinks about how he will look in the morning, hole puffy and abused, dripping with another man’s cum. He hates the sick thrill it gives him to know that Felix will see that. It runs down the back of his neck like a hot knife, and he doesn’t know if the sensation is driven by arousal or fear.

‘I’m gonna come in you, pretty boy.’ His rough fingers rub side-to-side over Killian’s throbbing cock. ‘Gonna fill you up like a whore. Felix must’ve known I’d do that to you. And he knows what you need, don’t he?’

Killian nods. He can’t not.

‘You just lie there n’take it, pretty whore. Take it for Felix.’

Killian allows himself, for a moment, to really think about Felix’s responsibility in all this. He thinks about how, yes, Felix has known Josef for a very long time and, yes, is probably able to make some fairly astute guesses as to what Josef might do to whatever poor thing he was burying himself in. And Felix has decided he needs this.

‘I need this,’ Killian murmurs to himself as Josef thrusts into him. ‘I need this.’ It becomes louder, and Josef nods.

‘Tha’s it. Good boy,’ he mutters approvingly, still stroking Killian’s cock.

‘Need to be good for him,’ says Killian, pressing his hips down into Josef’s hand. The feeling of Josef stretching and fucking his ass open is mixing with the sparks of pleasure Killian feels when Josef’s fingers brush his cock. Mouth open, Killian is panting, arching his back to meet Josef’s thrusts, letting the man rub his cock until he is moaning underneath him.

‘Faster,’ Killian pleads. ‘Harder.’ He’s not even sure what he’s asking for but Josef picks the pace of his thrusts up. Their skin slaps together as Josef grunts in exertion, burying himself in Killian’s ass over and over, forcing the boy’s tight hole open around him. Josef shifts his hand, sliding his fingers into Killian’s wet pussy and pressing the base of his callused palm against Killian’s cock. His movements are imprecise but consistent, his rough hand dragging over Killian’s dick as his thick fingers rub insistently at Killian’s g-spot. Killian can feel himself trapped, Josef’s fingers crowding into his pussy, Josef’s cock pounding into his hole, and all that weight pressed down to force Killian to grind his desperate cock against Josef’s open hand. Killian feels his muscles starting to tense erratically. His pussy clenches around Josef’s fingers.

He needs this.

‘I need you to come in me,’ Killian whimpers.

‘Not till you do first, baby boy.’

Killian thinks of how proud Felix will be of him when he finds out how well he took Josef’s cock, and comes all over Josef’s hand with a shuddering cry. His cock spasms and pulses, he feels his pussy and ass tighten desperately and spasmodically, and he hears Josef groan behind him as that - apparently - is what has pushed him over the edge. Killian feels his ass fill with cum, warm and thick, deep inside him.

Killian muses that he and Felix have never come at the same time as Josef collapses onto him.

He is dimly aware, some time later, of the man pulling out and getting off him, walking away and running the shower in the bathroom. His eyelids are heavy, and he knows sleep is about to take him. Killian smiles softly, thinking about Felix coming home the next morning. Maybe he’ll bring breakfast from the pastry shop they stop at sometimes. He’ll forgive Killian, he’s sure.

‘One minute,’ Felix says to the impressionable young gentleman with whom he’s spent the night and sunrise. ‘I just have to take care of something in the apartment.’ Leaving the boy in the hall, he steps into his home. It reeks of sex. The bedroom door is open, as are some of the kitchen cupboards. Josef had made his way here, he notes with a smile. Peering around the bedroom door, he sees Killian fast asleep, naked, ass in the air, cum dripping down his leg. He frowns. He didn’t recall giving Josef permission to do that. Well, Killian should have known better than to just allow him. They’ll be having words later, Felix imagines. He tears a sheet of notepaper out of one of Killian’s books - there are a few lines of uninspiring poetry tarnishing the page, so he draws a line through them and writes a note below. The black biro block capitals read: ‘Out for breakfast. Lunch seminar as per usual. Do try to turn up somewhat presentably. Professor.’

Replacing the pen in his blazer pocket, Felix grabs his umbrella from the coat rack - the weather is pitiful today - and slips back out of the front door to his young friend. ‘Thank you for waiting, dear boy,’ he murmurs. The boy grins at him. His teeth are crooked. Felix internally sighs.

Killian’s alarm rings at seven. It takes him longer to wake up, as it’s slightly muted through the bedroom wall. But when he does, he wakes aching and alone, eyes blurred and burning with sleep, and cold, so cold, from the mountain air.

#my work #10k #felix and killian

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nordic-language-love · 4 years

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Possessive Pronouns

I recently got an anon asking about a number of different things, including certain possessive pronouns, so I've decided to break it down into two posts. This one will be about possessive pronouns (my/your/his/her/our/their).

In Norwegian, possessive pronouns have to agree with the noun they're describing. That means the majority of pronouns have a distinct masculine (m), feminine (f), neuter (n) and plural (pl) form, although some use the same form regardless of gender.

The possessive pronouns in Norwegian are:

My: min (m), mi (f), mitt (n) and mine (pl)

Your (singular): din (m), di (f), ditt (n) and dine (pl)

His: hans* (m/f/n/pl)

Her: hennes* (m/f/n/pl)

Our: vår (m/f), vårt (n) and våre (pl)

Your (plural): deres (m/f/n/pl)

Their: deres* (m/f/n/pl)

*There's also sin (m), si (f), sitt (n) and sine (pl) for his/her/their which I'll explain in a bit. For now, we’ll focus on the other pronouns.

So, if you have a masculine noun, you use the masculine pronoun (min/din/sin/vår), neuter pronoun for neuter nouns (mitt/ditt/sitt/vårt) and plural pronouns for plural nouns (mine/dine/sine/våre). Feminine nouns can behave as masculine nouns, so you have the choice to use either the masculine or feminine pronoun (mi/di/si). Hans, hennes and deres are used regardless of gender.

The pronoun can appear before or after the noun. When it appears after the noun, the noun has to be in the definite form:

Min bil or bilen min (my car)

Din/di seng or sengen din/senga di (your bed)*

Vårt hus or huset vårt (our house)

Deres epler or eplene deres (your/their apples)

In my experience, the latter is more common, while the former is used more to stress the pronoun. (”Min katt er den søteste katten i hele verden” - My cat is the cutest cat in the whole world)

*If you use the feminine pronoun, you have to also use the feminine definite form, whereas if you choose to use the masculine pronoun, you have to use the masculine definite form. It doesn’t matter which you use - the choice is yours!

Hans/Hennes/Deres vs Sin/Si/Sitt/Sine

This trips up a lot of people, and it confused me for a long time too (confession: I messaged @hjertespraak to double check this because while writing it I suddenly panicked that I’d got it wrong).

Simply put, sin/si/sitt/sine mean "his/her/their own". You use them when the object belongs to the subject of the clause (a clause is a part of a sentence that typically contains a subject and a verb). Consider the two sentences:

Isak liker katten sin.

Isak liker katten hans.

In the first sentence, the cat we’re referring to belongs to Isak. Isak likes his own cat. In the second sentence, Isak likes some other dude’s cat.

To illustrate this further, let’s take a more complicated example, where we have two clauses:

Jeg sitter med Eva mens Sara kliner med mannen sin.

Jeg sitter med Eva mens Sara kliner med mannen hennes.

Both these sentences in English mean "I'm sitting with Eva while Sara makes out with her husband." It's not clear whether the husband is Sara's or Eva's. In Norwegian, however, it's perfectly clear. In both cases, Sara is the subject of the clause where the pronoun appears, therefore sin refers back to her, while hennes refers to someone who isn’t her (Eva, in this case). So in the first sentence, Sara is being an overly affectionate wife. In the second sentence, she is being a terrible friend.

Note that sin/si/sitt/sine CANNOT appear as part of the subject!

Remember that sin/si/sitt/sine refers to the subject of the sentence, so if it were part of the subject itself, it would be referring to itself, which makes my brain hurt trying to figure out how that would work.

I hope that all makes sense! If you’re still confused, please feel free to ask more questions :)

If you spot any mistakes, please point them out so I can fix them!

#corrections welcome #langblr norwegian #norwegian grammar #norsk grammatikk #bokmål #norwegian #norsk #learning norwegian #jeg lærer meg norsk #my oc: norwegian

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1188

Have you ever shared a shower or bath with someone as an adult? I did it a couple of times with a past girlfriend, but I’m honestly not a fan of it unless I’m somewhere with a serious lack of bathrooms and it’s the only choice available. I like my space when I get myself all cleaned up lol.

What kind of pizza toppings do you like? Different kinds of cheeses do it for me, really. If I absolutely have to pick toppings, I do like bacon, bell peppers, barbecue chicken, or onions on my pizza.

When did you first take a shot of alcohol? I have no idea, actually. Maybe 20? 21? I never noted the year down. I don’t even know the first shot I ever took...if I had to guess, it was probably tequila.

Did you babysit for money when you were in middle school? No. I babysat because I was the eldest daughter and granddaughter in an Asian household, haha.

Who is your favorite band? How long have they been? Paramore; 17 years, have loved them for 14.

Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? Many times. She used to be a welcome guest.

Have you ever been to a spa? I don’t think I’ve ever entered one, no. There’s been no reason to in the past.

When talking on the phone, do you place it against your left or right ear? Right. I don’t remember ever placing it on my left, come to think of it.

What’s your favourite Lunchables meal? Idk, I’ve never had them. American thing, I’m guessing.

Do you like Bob Marley? I don’t hold an opinion on him; I’ve never tried listening to his music.

Have you ever eaten at Golden Corral? Nope, I don’t know what that is, either.

Do you sit and eat dinner at the same table with your family? Yes, we have dinner together every night. We’ve been doing it since the start of the pandemic; and, with that, since my dad has had to stay at home since he can’t report to work anyway considering the situation. I imagine we’d be back to eating separately once he can report back to his job.

Are you listening to any music right now? If so, what are you listening to? Yeah, I’m listening to Map of the Soul: 7 and UGH! just started playing. This is such a good FUCKING album it’s absolutely insane how good it is. Whatever spirit possessed BTS throughout 2019 to produce an album this unbelievable wasn’t playing.

Who was the last person to make you genuinely smile? Hobi, since I rewatched the Run BTS segment where he called Conan O’Brien ‘Curtain.’

Is there something you want to say to someone but can’t/won’t? No.

Do you like men who have a sensitive side? I think it’s nice when anyone has a sensitive side and isn’t ashamed to be in touch and expressive with their emotions. Doesn’t have to apply to just guys.

Have you ever tried to get someone into a certain band/artist? I don’t do that with any of my interests because I don’t want to potentially irritate or bore someone, or to potentially face the disappointment I’d feel when they don’t end up being enthusiastic about what I’m into. I’m totally okay with my interests just being My Thing, no need to drag other people into them.

Have you ever carved you and someone else’s initials into a tree? Nopes.

Do you like Dairy Queen? Just some items, like their Oreo Frappe or whatever it’s called. I’m not a big fan of ice cream cakes and I’ve never really explored their Blizzards.

Is there anyone you know with an amazing personal success story? Andi.

Is there a song in a different language that you can sing? Well Filipino is my first language rather than English, so yes.

How do you feel about bands that use pyrotechnics in live concerts? I’ve never experienced this other than One Direction using fireworks at the end of their concert here (and they weren’t launched from the stage either, but somewhere backstage), so I don’t really know what to feel about this other than they should just make sure they’re following safety protocols and standards to avoid mishaps.

Ever fallen down a hole? I don’t think so.

Do you like bananas? Not so much, but I don’t passionately hate it as much as I do other fruits. I do like some dishes that incorporate banana, like banana bread and banoffee pie. Recently I discovered Korean banana milk and it ended up tasting pretty good!

How long do you normally spend in the shower? Not even 10 minutes, usually. I've never understood how people can take such long showers. < Yeah, pretty much on the same page. The only times I take a while is if I feel like shaving, but otherwise I shower quickly. Maybe around 4–7 minutes at most.

Have you ever been a featured member on any website? I don’t think that ever happened, at least when having featured members was still a thing.

Have you ever had any weird pets? Nope.

Are you currently talking to/texting/instant messaging anyone? I am not. Though I know I have unread messages from Andi...I just don’t feel like checking them right now.

Have you ever experienced insomnia? Only when I was a teenager. It’s been a while since I’ve faced any trouble in trying to fall asleep.

Do you like egg nog? I’ve never had a chance to try it but it sounds delicious, and I would definitely take a sip the first opportunity I get.

Would you ever wear Converse with a prom/formal dress? I don’t see why I would have to but if it’s just for funsies, it sounds pretty harmless so yeah, I would.

Do you prefer hot chocolate with or without marshmallows? Withoooooooooout. I’ve never understood marshmallows.

How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over? In a romantic sense, none. But I’ve cried for other reasons, like when I mourned over my grandpa and Nacho.

Would you rather be a surgeon or mortician? Surgeon, since there’s a tiny part in me that had always wanted to take up med school.

Would rather be a musician or a painter? Painter, if anything. I’m not creative by any means, but I feel like I’d enjoy a lot more freedom with painting.

Would you rather write your own book or make your own movie? [continued from last night] Write my own book I suppose, but I could only work with non-fiction. I’d embarass myself if I had to write something not based off of real life.

At home, do you have a trampoline? No. But this reminds me of when we’d go to Rita’s place to have meetings whenever we couldn’t hold them in school. She’s the richest one out of all of us, lives in a very old money village, big-ass house, big-ass kitchen, big-ass receiving areas (plural)...and they also have a nice trampoline in their big-ass yard. We always used to horse around in there as soon as we were done with our meetings.

When you are about to go to bed, do you put on some sort of noise? I used to put on a YouTube video that would entertain me enough to feel relaxed and eventually sleepy, but I haven’t done that in the last few weeks. These days I usually look for a fanfic to get absorbed in, then I read until my eyes start feeling heavy.

What is your favorite Christmas movie? Love Actually or It’s A Wonderful Life.

And what about your favorite Christmas song? It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas makes me feel festive and fuzzy.

What is your ultimate favorite stocking stuffer? My family doesn’t really keep up with this tradition. I remember how our grandparents would fix up stockings for us when we were much younger, but they were usually filled with candy.

After Halloween, do you sort out all of your candy into little piles? I never collected candy for Halloween.

When you listen to music with headphones, do you keep the volume low enough to hear surrounding noise faintly, or do you blast it? Depends. The rare times I’m working and do feel like putting headphones on, the volume has to be just decent enough so I can still focus. If I’m not doing anything else or at least doing something that doesn’t involve too much ~brain activity~, I like my music very loud.

What did you have for breakfast this morning? It doesn’t really count as breakfast but I’m currently finishing off the remaining two pieces of McNuggets I got last night. 10 pieces is apparently too many for my appetite, haha.

What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? Cooper has probably been the biggest and heaviest so far.

Do you own any kind of helmet? We have a bike helmet here at home, but it’s not exclusively mine.

Out of everything currently in your refrigerator, what food or drink is your favorite? I don’t memorize the fridge so I can’t tell you my favorite food that’s currently in it; as for drink, I just stick to cold water.

What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? Sprained ankle after I tripped at one of the parking lots in school.

Do you like the taste of cough syrup? I’ve never had it.

What is something you like to have conversations about? People with experiences vastly different from mine, because it lets me explore different perspectives. It’s why I always look forward to family reunions with one of my uncles - who’s a foreigner, from a very different country - since he’s able to share a lot of fun and reflective stories about his life and stuff he did in his youth, stuff I never got to experience and live through.

What all is in the trunk of your car? The trunk used to be my trash can lmao, back when I was still driving everyday. My mom has since cleared it out since the beginning of the pandemic; I believe only a laptop bag is sitting there now.

Do you ever put fruit on your cereal? No. I don’t even eat either.

Is your heat or air conditioning currently on? My electric fan is. I don’t turn on the aircon until the evening.

Have you ever fallen off of a horse? Nopes.

Which do you value more, your appearance or your intelligence? Both are important to me.

When was the last time you drove something other than a car or truck? I don’t remember. I’ve only ever driven cars.

Were your grandparents present when you were born? Neither set wasn’t in any of the photos from my birth, so I don’t think so...? My maternal grandparents definitely wouldn’t have been present, since my parents had been living in Manila then.

If you drink/smoke, how often do you do these things? I vape...pretty much all day. I’m doing it while taking this survey. As for drink, I would say 1-2 times a month. Usually after a particularly grueling shift.

What do you think of fast food? I love it. Unabashedly. I just don’t have them a lot because I don’t find it filling and the quality is obviously lower; but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like the way fast food tastes.

What website do you spend the most time on and why? Google Suite, if it counts. I work 5 days a week; it’s pretty much an extension of me at this point.

What’s the most amount of time you’ve spent online? Is this usual for you? All day. I’m always using the internet to do things. I used to be embarrassed of it, but these days I feel like having a connection is virtually an essential.

When it comes to travel, what kinds of places intrigue you most? Museums, historical sites, cultural sites, and spots where they show you how they do practices native to the place. I’ve always been about immersing myself in the cultures of the places I visit.

What is the farthest you’ve walked in one day and what made you do it? I remember having to walk for a very very very VERY long time when we were in Bali - my family wanted to explore more of the city - and the weather wasn’t cooperative at all, so I ended up feeling super cranky. I remember also walking around a lot in Shanghai, but that was a slightly better experience since the city was incredibly lively and there were a lot of things to see and stop at; not to mention the weather was also kinda pleasant. The cold was biting but I would always rather be too cold than walk around with sweat-soaked clothes.

What is something important that’s often on your mind lately? Our financial situation what with Covid affecting both my parents’ jobs. We get by enough for me not to worry too much, but I also hope my dad can get called back to his ship soon just so I can finally exhale with relief.

What about something unimportant, but you can’t stop thinking about it? My workplace recently introduced this workout challenge thingy for the month of May that we’re invited to join to encourage us to get fit and healthy. I get notifications whenever someone’s able to exercise for the day and it makes me feel super pressured hahahaha. Since I don’t wanna be known as a killjoy co-worker I know I’ll have to take part in it, which I will start on later.

Do you like oatmeal? If so, what kinds of things do you like in it? No. Back in elementary my grandma made me eat oatmeal every day for breakfast before heading to school, so I don’t ever want to have another bowl of it.

What was going on the last time you felt nostalgic? My family and I were having a conversation during dinner last night and for some reason it eventually veered towards mine and my sister’s experiences from our first school and how we managed to get up at 5 AM everyday, have classes from 7 AM–4 PM, then get home from anywhere between 5–6 PM for 14 years straight. How tf did we do that and never complain???

How much attention do you pay to the movements of the stars and planets, and do you believe they influence anything? None.

What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? While I love watching playthroughs, I am not skilled at video games at all and in most video games I’ve played I never made it past the first mission, unless I was playing a Nintendo game that’s already marketed for kids in the first place lol.

Which accent do you find most sexy, alluring or appealing? There’s a certain British accent I find very pleasant to listen to, but since I know there are a lot of variations I’m just not sure which one it is. I guess an accurate point of reference would be Hugh Grant’s or Florence Pugh’s accent.

Which accent do you find most annoying, disturbing, or bothersome? None of them.

Can you cry on cue? Is it any kind of useful? Nope.

Does it take you a while to actually get jokes? Sometimes.

Can you wear socks to bed or does it annoy you? I don’t really like the feeling of socks, so no. I find them a bit itchy, and too tight.

Have you ever bleached your hair? Never done it before.

Do you like jelly beans? Erm, it would depend on the flavor, I guess. But they aren’t so much my snack of choice. The texture is a bit weird.

Do you have trouble sleeping when it’s storming? Not at all, I feel a lot cozier when it’s raining hard.

Who was the last person you know that graduated? (high school or college) Sofie posted her graduation photo not too long ago, so probably her.

Were you happy or sad when you found out your babysitter was coming? I never had a babysitter because I was the babysitter.

Did you have a boyfriend in kindergarten? No. I went to an all-girls school, so I didn’t even get to interact with a lot of boys until the middle of high school.

Did you ever read the Magic Treehouse series? Nope.

Who was your best friend in elementary school? Angela. I was also friends for a long time with a girl named Jaynie, with whom I actually started to reconnect ever since she found out I was now into BTS. I find it so cool; I don’t think I’ve talked to her since the 2nd grade, 15 years ago.

Did you ever watch The Land Before Time movies? I didn’t.

Did you collect anything when you were a kid? Stickers. I'd put them on my dresser everywhere to the point it was absolutely covered. < Literally this entire answer; I don’t have any clue how my overly neat mom managed to never spank me for destroying her closet. I also liked collecting Pokemon cards and pogs even though I never knew how to use them. It just felt nice having large stacks of them lol.

Did you get an allowance? Not until high school. My grandma (and eventually househelp, when we moved) fixed up packed lunches for me and my siblings. When my mom decided to stop having house helpers at home, that’s when she started giving us an allowance to buy recess and lunch ourselves.

Were you into American Girl dolls? I was never into dolls in general. Since my sister and I were the only girls at home, we were surrounded by toys marketed for boys and that’s what I enjoyed playing with more.

Were you friends with your childhood neighbors? We played with the neighborhood kids every afternoon but I wouldn’t call them friends. I was a very shy kid and I found them too rowdy for my liking, especially the boys.

What was your biggest fear when you were a kid? Flying cockroaches. It’s still one of them.

Did you ever play the "Reader Rabbit" computer games? I don’t think so.

Did your parents let you drink soda growing up? I’m pretty sure they would’ve allowed me to, but I just never liked the feeling of fizzy drinks so I never drank soda anyway.

What was your favorite kind of cake as a kid? I think I liked mocha sponge cakes growing up, but that has changed now.

#survey #surveys

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armymaryoongi · 4 years

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Chapter five: Sakura Handkerchief

pairing: min yoongi x reader

genre: fluff, slightly mature, historical au; king au

warning: angst/slightly mature

words count: 1k+

Note: English is not my native language. (I’m not that good in writing angst!)

(Names, places and incidents are just based on fiction)

masterlist // Final ch.

Summary: Just like any other kids, King Min Yoongi also has his own childhood memories but his involved a mystery girl who he met once and was known as his love at the first sight. Will he gets any chance to meet her again? What will he does when he found her? Will the girl remember her too?

Three months into the marriage with Min Yoongi, you admit you have grown closer with him day by day. You learnt that he is such a gentleman who priorities his kingdom and folks. When it comes to Queen Dowager—his mother, he can become soft-hearted and pampered. Absolutely, he has added you into the list as you tied with him now or can the author say, forever? You can see it in himself when he let his inner child slip whenever he is with you. As we were mentioning the Queen Dowager, she is really fond of you, not because you are the woman of the kingdom but you always have your ways to win her heart—you will make sure to accompany your mother-in-law by finding any spare time to visit her quarter while bringing along her favourite tea. Then, you will always ask for her advice in life and offer help. Through her, you have more chances to know about his son. Overall, your personality make her feels warm and she knows you are the right partner for his son. At this point, she won’t be surprised if she will take your side rather than Min.

Subsequently, you have acknowledged about Yoongi’s close friendship with Kim Taehyung which made you realised that your husband is not like any other kings or princes from other kingdoms. Yoongi is that husband who never forgets to tell you a story about his childhood memory whenever you two cuddling on the bed and of course, his stories always leave your eyes teary from laughing too hard. Now, let’s talk about you in an apron, trying to cover those royal dresses and cooking in the royal kitchen. Yes, you still cooking for your husband but it only happens once a week. Since you are his Queen, he doesn’t want you to spend too much time in the kitchen. He rather has you by his side when he reads those endless appeals as he loves to listen to your mind regarding the kingdom and folks. However, there’s only one thing that still bothers your mind, his feline eyes.

You never lie when you say he loves for being pampered and can be needy sometimes. It’s just day time yet he got you here, sitting on his laps again but this time in his chamber instead. Usually, he will spend time in your chamber but now, it was your turn to cross his threshold. It’s been half an hour and he still murmurs the same sentence while burying his face in your neck, ‘I miss you so much, love.’

You smile at his action. “You are such a baby, Min.”

“Yes, I am indeed your baby.” he gave you a kiss on your neck. He stroked your spine, one of his signs to show that he is physically ready. You called his name and mewl. “I know whenever we are together, we never talk bout this but I want children, Yoongi.” you looked at him with pleading eyes. Within these three months, there were time Yoongi need to leave his kingdom and you to attend meetings in another country or runs his errands as a king. You would end up felt bored and lonely as you don’t have anybody to fill your time in the palace. Your words got his attention.

“Is it about my mother? You know I don’t want to force you. Unless you are—” he also wants a child or let’s make it plural, children, but at this moment, he doesn’t want to put everything on your plate. First, it just three months after the marriage. Second, you still need time to adapt to the environment. Last, you are young; you probably want to enjoy your time. “No, no! It’s me who wants a child and I am more than ready. Yes, I have a mother with me when you are gone, but to have a little you won’t hurt, right?” you grin sheepishly.

“Oh—So, you want a little Min…Won’t you scared if he or she turns naughty like me? Hmm?” oh boy, this is just another game of his—teasing. You giggled while shaking your head. “Alright, I will give you one. Now.” he growled, voice sounds so demanding. You gave him an audacious look as you feel his hand slowly stroked your thigh. His button nose bumped with yours and mouth just an inch from sealing a tender kiss.

“Your Highness, you got a visit from a finance minister in your throne hall.” that announcement froze the two of you from moving. Yoongi looked at the door and growled. “Really? This is about to get heated…Erghh!” You felt like laughing but went quiet when you see his eyes burning with fire. “It’s just noon, Min. Absolutely, they will find you,” you said and get off his thighs. However, Yoongi quickly pulled you back as he decided to stay, yet you succeed to persuade him. “Go…Once you settle the problem, I will give you what you want.” you tied his red robe and put the long forgotten ikseongwan on his head. With a pout on his cute face, he gave you a chaste kiss and walked away.You giggled and shook your head. ‘What a cutie big baby.’

As he left you alone in his chamber, you have stayed there instead of going back to your quarter. You looked at your surrounding and admired his chamber from the bed. To be honest, this is your first time to be in his. Nothing much in here—everything is neat and minimal. You let out a huff, started to feel bored. To kill the time, you went to his wooden bookshelf to have something to read. As you scan the books, your eyes landed on a small classic chest. You know, it’s wrong to invade his space but you feel something possessed you to reach for that chest. So, you did.

“Oh, a handkerchief?” you unfolded and have a look at it. The sakura embroidery caught your eyes and suddenly everything has fallen into its place. A mystery puzzle has completed! You smile widely, eyes sparkling when you touched the pink embroidery. You giggled and palmed your forehead, wondering why you didn’t even notice about this from the start. Butterflies in your stomach as you remind yourself about his eyes and that pale boy you met at the market eight years ago and now, you can’t wait to tell Yoongi about it.

“Y/n? What are you doing?” that voice startled you. “Oh, Yoongi! I found—” filled with excitement, you showed him the special handkerchief. But, his reaction is contrast than you as his vision fell on it. “Why did you touch this?” he grabbed it from your hand and furrowed his brows. “I-I just want to look at—” you became confused with his question. Did he forget about you, the mystery girl at the market? “You didn’t know how precious this handkerchief to me!” he shouted, voice filled with anger.

Tears pooled in your eyes. Never once you heard him shout, never once. You feel upset because he doesn’t want to listen to you at all. Like someone who was being possessed, epiphany hits him when he saw your red face, trying your utmost best to hold your tears from shedding. Step by step, Yoongi came at you and called your name softly. His hand almost land on your shoulder, but you pushed him and went out of his chamber. You were once Princess Y/n and everyone in Daeshin know that you are someone who never gives up in an argument when it’s literally not your fault but not this time. Your court ladies surprised to see you coming out with red eyes and tears on cheeks. You didn’t talk to them either and just walked away to your quarter.

What? King Min and his Queen bickering? It’s been two weeks since your argument with your husband. The news between Min and you have stirred around the palace as there are tittle-tattle behind your back. No one knows what was happening in his chamber, why it abruptly happened, and who to blame. However, based on their unnecessary observation; how Min always come and go to his Queen and how she dismisses him or run and hide at her in-law’s, it is definitely King’s fault. Min never feel annoyed like this before—how can these people keep sticking their nose in his personal affairs? Yes, it is very obvious by just a first glare but they don’t have any right to talk behind his back, he is the King of the kingdom!

What did you expect? Sure thing, the Queen Dowager get the memo even though you always avoid from answering her questions concerning that issue. She mentally faces palmed herself. Why his so-called mature and manly son didn’t succeed in comforting his Queen? He is such a slow man when it comes to women, and now she at least wants to play her role as your mother-in-law. King Min was summoned by his mother last two days and this action has stirred up another gossip in the palace. Will the Queen Dowager ask the King to abandon his Queen? Nah, please try again. After she gained all information from Kim, she definitely scolded him for doing something stupid like that. “Settle this misunderstanding as soon as possible. If you fail to do, then don’t dream for me to take your side again.” her scary glare was the last thing Min would like to remember.

#bts fic #yoongi #suga bts #yoongi x y/n #yoongi x you #bangtan imagines #yoongi x reader #yoongi scenarios #imagine bts #fluff bts #bangtan ot7 #daewchita #king au #king yoongi #bts #bts au #yoongi x oc

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nautiscarader · 4 years

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Smutember day 25 - Three isn’t a crowd - Kim/Ron/Yori

Smutember day 25 - Three isn’t a crowd - Kim/Ron/Yori, 4k (!)

(with elements of day 16 - caught in the act)

(Ao3)

prompt for anon on CuriousCat.

Special thanks to zekkKiray for proofreading

If you liked my story, here’s a Ko-fi link if you’d be so kind ❤️.

==============================

- Ron! - What, Kim? - Are you crazy? Now?

Kim barked in a hushed voice, sharply turning when she felt her boyfriend, illuminated only by the lights from the nearby billboard.

- Aww, but Kim, it's been two weeks... - No buts, Ron! - she quickly cut him off, watching him frown.

She was about to turn to her side, when she heard the soft whimpering and watched as his chin and lower lip began moving to the rhythm of his vocal complaints. She opened her mouth wide, shocked beyond belief at her boyfriend's betrayal.

- You monster. Using my own weapon against me?

Ron nodded, his face still holding the same mournful expression. feeling defeated, Kim sighed, put a finger to his lips, and turned her head towards the doorway to the corridor, listening into the ambient noises of their apartment. And after a while, when she was reasonably certain they won't be heard, she smiled and spread her legs, inviting her boyfriend between them.

- Alright, Ron, you won with your horny sad puppy face. -she sighed, her voice carrying just a hint of satisfaction - But we have to be quick and qui-ET!

Kim let out a shriek and turned her head at once when instead of Ron's length she expected, she felt his tongue against her sex.

- R-Ron!

She lifted the blanket, finding her boyfriend eagerly sucking on her clit and lapping at her folds, while his hands kept her thighs in place- a good idea, since his sudden intrusion would surely make her jump in place. Ron looked up, questioning the reason for her outburst.

- Whath? - he asked, with his tongue out - You haven't had a chance to relax in two weeks either. And didn't you say we need to stay quiet?

Kim's anger turned into a sly smile at her boyfriend's clever reasoning.

- Alright, smartass, keep it up.

Kim pushed his head back against her sex and bit on the edge of the blanket, ready to use it to contain any of the screams she has been holding off for the past two weeks.

The reason for the two student's forced celibacy slept on the couch in the living room, directly on the other side of the wall Kim was bracing herself against right now. Two weeks ago, Kim and Ron drove to the airport to pick up an unexpected guest - Yori, who came all the way from Japan to hone her skills in English, as well as help the Team Possible fight crimes, as the super-villains did not care that the two were attending college now.

And while the couple welcomed her old friend in their flat they were renting, and offered her hospitality that could even rival her country, after a while it became a bit problematic for he two youngsters to keep things private. They exchanged kisses and slightly more risqué touches, but every time the night fell, they were afraid that their love-making would wake her up, and given Kim's tendency to scream it was more that a valid excuse.

But all of those worries seemed to be going away with every lick of Ron's tongue, as Kim's mind was slowly going blank, as she sank into her pillow. She hadn't felt her boyfriend's skilful lips and fingers in fourteen long days and nights, and every fibre in her loins expressed it, setting her body on fire with each delicate move he performed.

She whimpered, her chest rising up and down erratically as if she has been running a marathon, as she consciously tried to limit the air she exhaled, as every breath could carry a passionate, rabid cry.

Finally, she couldn't take it - her body spasmed, her hand pressed Ron's head against her sex, and let out a primal scream into her pillow. Meanwhile, her folds muffled Ron's moan, which only intensified her climax, forcing more of her juices to coat Ron's face, which started his cries to begin with.

Kim's athletic body kept arching up and down, trying to disperse the energy from her climax without going into another higher octave. When she collapsed, she wasn't surprised to feel Ron's weight on her sneaking up at once, and welcomed the familiar hardness between her legs she hasn't felt in seemingly forever.

Aside from her quickened breath, there was a new noise filling their room, as Ron fiddled with the condom's wrapper, and watched as Kim's expression changes with each second of a delay, revealing how impatient she was underneath her superficially restraint behaviour.

- Ready, Kim?

Ron asked his girlfriend, but didn't have to hear her answer. Her legs at once closed behind his bum like a trap, and pressed his crotch against her in a precise movement only horny Kim possible could muster, as her impaling also slid the rubber onto Ron's cock. The only reason Ron didn't yell when his cock was embraced by her wet, inviting warmth was that her lips were ready for him, letting him cry into her mouth, while she moaned in return, celebrating being filled again.

Next thing they know, their bodies began rocking against each other, with Kim's legs dictating the tempo Ron's hips had to meet. Kim moaned into his lips when she felt his arms behind her back, carrying her gently above the pillow into a half-sitting position, hoping it would reduce the creaking of their bed. Kim thought that without the bed underneath her Ron would have difficulties thrusting inside her, but she feared for nothing; if anything it made it easier, and the red-head had to scream into his neck when he began rutting her in this vaguely acrobatic position.

Two long weeks have taken a toll on their patience; while she would love a slow, delicate love-making Ron has excelled at, all she could think right now was to reach her peak, one that has been tantalisingly close, and hearing Ron's heavy, rugged grunts in her ear, he was thinking about nothing else either.

Like addicts, they needed a quick fix, and in their heated embrace, they were cooking it up faster and faster, until their voices gave away their desires, filling their room with their cries.

- Kim! - Ron!

But as their climax were about to arrive, the two shared petrified looks.

Because Kim wasn't the only one crying Ron's name.

And Ron wasn't the only one wailing Kim's.

With their suddenly stopped climaxes their senses picked up a third voice, low and equally afraid.

A minute stretched into infinity as the three pondered what to do with this revelation. Finally, Kim mustered enough courage to reach their guest.

- Yori...?

A small shriek reached them from behind the wall, and it took another minute for any other sound, aside from rugged breathing to reach them. A single loose plank in their corridor gave Yori away, as the ninja sneaked on her wobbly legs to their living room entrance, but remained in the shadows.

- I... I... I apologise.

Suddenly Yori dropped to her knees and lowered her head in shame, unable to meet her hosts' stares, let alone their naked bodies.

- Kim, Ron, I... I didn't mean to... I... - That's... that's okay, Yori - Kim spoke, unsure of her own words - Don't-don't sit on the floor, you might catch cold.

She wrapped herself in her blanket and stepped of their bed to give her a hand. Yori looked up, once more shying away, until she accepted Kim's help and stood up to sit on a nearby chair.

- I...I apologise - she sniffed, repeating herself - I have mislead you, and lied to you, Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable.

Kim and Ron exchanged confused looks, as their eyes stared at their trembling guest.

- Er, how so? - Ron asked - A prophecy. I came here because of a prophecy. - Yori explained - It speaks of a brave warrior, and we have found him - she looked at Ron - But it also stated that the warrior shall meet his love, who possesses equally great power, who shall become his mate for life.

Her eyes turned towards Kim, ho hid herself underneath the same blanket.

- I told my sensei that Ron Stoppable has already found her, long ago, but I was sent here to-to make sure that-that your bond is... is strong enough. That you have joined your hearts, minds and....

She gulped.

- ...bodies.

Kim and Ron exchanged a slightly more perplexed looks, as they suddenly became aware of their half-naked bodies still pressed against each other.

- Er, Yori, that's... uh, sweet of you? - Kim spoke, unsure how to react to that statement - But... er... - But in those years I found my heart beat equally hard for you. - Yori quickly added - Not just for Ron, but for Kim too... and you, both, as-as a team... - Oh. - Ron scratched his head. - I guess we should take that as a compliment... - Kim muttered - Yori, we-we love you too, you know you are always welcomed here, and- - But that would make the prophecy wrong...! - Yori cried.

She hid her face in her hands, as if expecting some harsh punishment from them. So when Kim's warm voice reached her ears, she lifted her head and stared at her with widen eyes.

- Well, who says so?

Ron turned towards his girlfriend with equally baffled looks, and feeling the pressure, Kim explained.

- Well, the prophecy says that the "warrior" will find "love", right? But "warrior" doesn't have to be a male. It can be a female too. And "love" can be both singular and plural. - Kim continued - So, who says that the prophecy didn't mean... you? - M-me? - Of course! - Ron added - Yori, you are the one who taught me everything in the field of ninjology! And Kim too... - That's right - Kim chuckled - I think you are underselling yourself, you have helped us more than enough times...

As light shone on Yori's face, the two could finally see a glimmer in her eyes and a faint trace of smile on her face.

- And besides, the prophecy may talk about becoming mates for life... but did it say anything about mates for... one night?

Yori yelped, and so did Ron when the meaning of Kim's words reached him.

- Did you... did you like what you've heard? - Kim asked, lifting her blanket - When Ron took me, and was rutting me senselessly? - Kim... - Ron stuttered, but was quickly cut off by Yori. - Yes, very much so. - she nodded - I have never seen, nor heard a passion so potent than between you two.

Kim and Ron looked at each other, and after a short pause, it was time for Ron to speak a thought that has been on their minds.

- Would you like to join us?

Without waiting for Yori's response, the two scooted towards the wall, leaving half of their bed unoccupied. Yori stood up, and when after a long while she made the first step forward, she traversed the distance to the bed in one swoop, as if carried by some invisible force.

Two pairs of arms coiled around her, and she let out a deep moan, as Kim and Ron's lips met with her cheeks, sending a storm of shivers throughout her body.

- Yori, if we do anything you don't want... just say a word. - Kim added - The last thing we want is for you to feel uncomf-

But Kim's words were lost in Yori's mouth, when she closed her arms behind her head and kissed her, leaving not only her but Ron in a state of awe. But Ron learned exactly what Kim must have felt when Yori launched herself towards him, and for the very first time in long five years, his lips were pressed against another woman's, setting every nerve of his body on fire.

When she stopped kissing her friends, she saw the petrified looks on their faces, and for a split of second, she thought she started too strong with her declaration of love. But then the same lips she kissed were on her, caressing her cheeks, neck, shoulders, and once Kim's hands dealt with her night gown, her breasts.

- Well, that's a first for me... - Kim muttered when she licked her nipple. - And a first for me too. - Ron added - Kim, can I...? - Dig in, you silly boy. - Kim spoke, unable to believe her own words.

Kim pressed his head against Yori's left breast, while she took care of her right one. Yori threw her head back, under the onslaught of emotions that overwhelmed her and she was not prepared for. Her legs thrashed underneath her friends' bodies. And she let out a primal scream when not one, but two sets of fingers found its way to her crotch, and when they met, Kim and Ron looked at each other and laughed.

- Looks like we've had the same idea. - Yeah, let's show our guest what love really means.

Just like with her breasts being taken care of by their two mouths, two fingers slipped inside Yori's pussy, much to her disbelief. She could clearly feel the difference in Kim's and Ron's styles; Kim was more delicate, yet slightly too cautious, while Ron's bravery made up for his lack of subtlety.

Kim kissed her breasts again, circling her nipple, while Ron peppered her stomach with quick, butterfly kisses. She felt-light-headed seeing her boyfriend making love to a different woman, the same she was adoring too. In any other situation, she would feel furious, ready to use any weapons she had to win him over if she even so much as touched him.

And now, she was caressing her, driven by a carnal, animalistic force that only rose in strength with each minute of their fondling. Soon Yori was whimpering something incomprehensible, and it was up to Kim, closing her mouth over Yori's sensitive clit to bring her to her climax, the same one she has been building ever since she heard Ron and Kim rustling half an hour ago.

Yori cried their names, and her body quaked, covering their fingers in copious amounts of slick juices. She hasn't stopped trembling, when Kim leaned forward and faced her, with droplets of her juices clinging to her lips.

- Yori? - she asked her guest - Do you want to see our love in action? - Y-Yes! - she exclaimed, looking back and forth at Kim and Ron, unsure what they will think of next. - Good, cos you are not the only who was robbed of a climax.

Kim straddled her and gently pressed her naked body against Yori's, feeling the texture of her, slightly smaller breasts on hers. Their lips got closer, and soon, the two young women were kissing again, deepening the embrace that just a day ago was unthinkable to either of them.

Lost in their sensual kiss, the two yelped when they suddenly felt something slick sliding between their joined folds, and only a rugged breath of Ron on Kim's neck reminded them of their third lover.

- Come on Ron, now you have twice the chances to prove yourself...

Kim wasn't surprised when she saw Yori's eyes widening as Ron dived inside her, giving Kim just a faint taste of his manhood's texture as it slid alongside her folds. Yori stared at Ron's eyes, as he laid his head on Kim's shoulder, her arms closing around both of her lovers.

Unlike the last time, Ron was on an unfamiliar territory, so his dives were slow and calculated, giving Kim chance to explore Yori's body with her mouth. A Mouth that soon also let out a sharp moan when Ron swiftly decided to change his object of admiration, slipping into her pussy for a few more pushes.

And so, with each minute, Ron was taking turns, pleasuring each of his ladies, alternating between two tight pussies that oozed with more and more of slick juices with each moment of their heated love-making. Yori's and Kim's bodies tangled, creating an equally tight embrace that rocked in its own tempo, especially with their hands gently caressing their most sensitive parts.

Ron on the other hand, was moving at his own speed, marvelling at the heavenly feeling of two sexes he could fill with his length. Whenever he pleased one girl, the other one received just a glimpse of what could happen to her next, and sure enough, in just a few moments the vicious cycle continued, building up their heat and intensity that pushed them closer and closer towards their peaks.

Under the caresses from not one, but two lovers, so openly accepting of her, it was no surprise that Yori was the first to start whimpering against Kim's lips, with Kim being just a step or two behind her. The combination of Yori's and Ron's grip on her put her in the middle of their sandwich, and on equally quick path to her climax.

And as their voices grew, Ron decided he can no longer choose; instead of filling either of their pussies, he rammed himself between them, feeling the overwhelming texture of two pairs of lips quivering around him, just a split of second before their voices and bodies exploded.

- Kim! - Yori! - Ron! - both girls cried at the same time, as the trio continued rocking their bodies back and forth.

With their names on their lips, and Ron's cock sliding between their joined pussies, their bodies shuddered with an explosive orgasms. Their arms reached for each other, bringing them closer, increasing the pressure they exerted on their boyfriend.

Kim was the first to recover, and hearing Ron's whimpering behind her, she concocted a devilish plan for their new partner. In the split of a second before his release, she reached between their joined, shivering bodies and yanked the condom from Ron's cock, sending a sly grin to Yori, who understood what was going to happen.

Feeling their pussies without his latex prison, Ron's climax not only accelerated but became a thousand times more powerful. Ron let out a primal, wild cry that sounded like his ladies' names combined, as his hips began moving on their own, filling the non-existent pussy with his essence.

And Yori could experience Ron's virility first hand. In the same moment of his primal cry, she looked directly at his cock, sliding between their bodies, and as a result, the first batch if his seed was short directly at her face, forcing her to turn away. But then, as more and more of Ron's sticky, warm strands began covering her body, she turned back and even opened her lips, welcoming a rope or two of his salty seed into her mouth, a sight Kim possible was pleased to see from her high ground.

Two weeks of celibacy manifested themselves in front of them, as Yori's body slowly became more and more glazed with Ron's seed, until only few patches of her skin remained uncovered.

Ron's rugged, raspy breath filled the ears of his lovers, and Kim braced herself to feel his tired body against her back, but Ron quite gallantly slumped to the side, though his eyes widened when he saw his work on Yori's body, so much so his cock twitched once more, sending every last feeble strand of semen across the bed.

- So, what do you think? - Kim asked, dragging her finger across the pool of cum on Yori's stomach - Do you think my boyfriend is good enough to be my mate? - Oh... oh yes, Kim Possible. - Yori spoke, swiping some of Ron's hefty orgasm from her face.- I... I shouldn't have doubted you... - Though of course, if you think I am his foretold mate, then logically, that belongs to me, doesn't it?

Kim scooped some of his cum and raised her brow, first at Yori, and then, as the corners of her mouth curled, at Ron. before he knew, a sight he never thought he would ever see was happening in front of his eyes as Kim leaned and began licking clean Yori's body, her loud, slurping noises silencing his erratic breathing.

Kim was meticulous, travelling alongside the path of each strand covering Yori's body, though she was taking a bit longer around her nipples, even though the cum there has managed to drip to the side of her mounds. Yori let out a gasp when she felt Kim's hand between her legs, and her sudden jolt made a few drops of cum change places, something Kim at once corrected, gathering them all in her mouth.

And just when Ron thought this would make his heart stop, Kim had one more trick up her non-existsent sleeve. She turned towards Yori and spoke, with some difficulties.

- But I am willing to share some of it...

And just when Yori was about to reach another climax, Kim's lips joined hers, and in the dark room, illuminated only by the lights from outside, Ron had a clear view of strands of pearly-white cum between their lips, swapped back and forth in a series of erotic kisses that would have made him collapse.

The girls turned their heads towards him at once.

- Ron? You okay? - Oh... oh god, Kim, that was...

His stuttered response was met only with their giggles, though both Kim and Yori helped him get to his knees after the sight of their erotic play made him lose himself once more. Kim quickly reached for the paper towel and offered it to Yori as a proper cleaning method - from her guess she would need to spend another ten minutes cleaning up Ron's mess.

- Thank..Thank you, Kim Possible, Ron Stoppable. - she addressed them both - Now I know for sure that the fate... and the future of the world is in good hands. Or-how do you say it-balls?

She looked at Ron's half-hardened cock, then at Kim, and a moment later, they all burst into laughter.

- Though, Yori, er... - Kim started, somewhat embarrassed - We are in the middle of our college education, so, we... we're not gonna star a family now right now... - Unless an accident happen. - Ron added, scratching his head. - Which we usually try to prevent. - Which means...

Kim's worried voice suddenly turned sly.

- ..that technically your mission isn't over, is it? After all, a lot can happen between now and, er... whenever... - I suppose... - Yori spoke, seeing the sly spark in Kim's eyes. - Which means I should stay and make sure the fate of the world is safe, right? - My reasoning exactly. What to do you say, Ron?

The two girls slowly turned towards their lover, whose eyes were getting wider and wider every second, as he slowly understood the repercussions of this decision.

- BOOYAH! - he exclaimed, much to girls' amusement.

And before they could react, he was kissing them, back and forth, rolling on their bed, slowly coaxing them into another round of love-making. Yori handed him a condom, and quite soon she felt the master of Mystical Monkey Power fill her again, though this time her vision was partially obscured by Kim's crotch Yori started licking at once.

When the morning arrived, and Kim woke up, at least two hours later than she would usually do, a few things became apparent: for once, they were going to need to buy a new, bigger bed. Secondly, they would have to switch to pills, as there was no way Ron would remember about condoms with two beautiful ladies in their flat. And thirdly, Rufus would have to cook breakfasts for three from now on.)

#kim/ron/yori #Kim possible #Ron stoppable #yori #smutember #smutember2020 #lemon #nautiscaraderfics

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only-by-the-stars · 4 years

Text

the annotated Tome of the Wild

Part 7: The Wild!

- Link didn't open his eyes. A twist on the beginning of BOTW, where you hear Zelda telling Link to open his eyes. I couldn’t resist.

- Hestu’s cameo was a lot of fun to write too. I always found him adorable, first in BOTW and then in AOC as well, and the idea of him waking up Link with his maracas was too amusing not to do. I also had to include his “shimmy shimmy” battle cry from AOC because I always laugh my head off whenever I hear it.

- This also reveals that Midna brought Link to the Great Deku Tree, a character that debuted in OOT and made further appearances in WW and BOTW.

- Something tickled her arm, breaking her out of her gloomy thoughts. Midna lifted her head and looked down. New growth was sprouting from the branch she was sitting on, wriggling its way up onto her. Nothing like this happens to Beatrice in the show, but I had to put in this chilling little moment of Midna nearly succumbing to the dekuwood. It provides a way later to introduce Rhoam’s presence in his scene, as well as some horror at what could’ve happened to her here.

- Note to self: never visit Tabantha if you can help it... Tabantha, of course, being a very cold region in BOTW’s Hyrule. Link’s newfound hatred of snow mirrors my own, and now he’s going to associate it with this horrible experience.

- “It's a bad habit, I guess.” He laughed softly. He’s referring, of course, to how he casually greeted Riju and Medli back at the school pool and they gave him a bit of a hard time about it.

- “You...” Midna stared at him for several seconds, stunned. “You...” She slapped his hand away and starting swinging her tiny fists at him, which he easily dodged. “You oaf! You idiot! What the hell—what the hell is wrong with you? How can you forgive me so easily, when you're still in a shit situation because of me? Neither one of us would be out here groping around blindly in the fucking snow if not for what I did!” I set up Midna and Link to be parallels of each other in a couple ways. One of which is that while Link has isolated himself from Mipha, hurting and confusing her, Midna is on the other end of something similar with Zelda. And here we see something they both struggle with: forgiving themselves. Midna can’t understand how Link can so easily forgive her actions towards him, while Link utterly despises himself for his actions towards Mipha and cannot forgive himself for causing her pain. He’ll later struggle with the fact that Mipha forgives him easily, just as Midna is having trouble understanding his forgiveness of her here. All of them find it easier to forgive their loved ones than to grant that same grace to themselves.

- “She told me that while she appreciated how much I cared, I should think a little more and be less reckless. I know she'd never call me stupid, but...” Link shrugged. “Honestly, I kind of am.” Another reference to Mipha calling Link reckless, and how she hates seeing him get hurt. He is indeed not the smartest guy around, but she does describe him as being very kind and determined to help those in need, so I tried to emphasize that aspect of his personality in this story. Although the “I kind of am” line is also intended to be a subtle red flag. We’ve already seen that Link thinks very little of himself and his abilities, even when it’s clear from the words of others that he’s very talented. And we’re about to soon see him use a bit of intelligence he very much does have, in order to save the day. He would never believe himself capable of such a thing, but he does it anyway.

- “Even just a few branches could be processed... enough to get us through this storm...” Note the use of the plural here. This is leading up to the revelation about his belief that Zelda is in the lantern. His desperation to find more oil anywhere is because, of course, he believes that if the light goes out she will die. And he wouldn’t be in this scarcity if not for what happened back in chapter one, with Link and Aryll and the dog accidentally wrecking the mill and his oil supply.

- He was soon rewarded with a most welcome sight: a single dekuwood branch, growing out of that of a normal tree. It seemed sickly, withered, and it waved feebly in the air, but he rushed forward and hacked it off anyway. The very same branch that tried to attach itself to Midna, sickly and withered precisely because of that failure.

- And now we come to the confirmation that the dekuwood is made from the people who succumb to despair and exhaustion in the woods, right as we see it growing all around Aryll. Rhoam has been unaware this entire time of all the souls he’s sacrificed over the past several months, and now that he knows, he refuses to do it any longer. For he, like Midna, recognizes that Zelda would never want anyone to be harmed for her sake.

He’s also right that Link would never leave Aryll to such a fate, recognizing Link’s love and protectiveness towards his little sister. This is a point where my characterization of Link wildly diverges from that of Wirt, the protagonist of OTGW. I pulled some things from Wirt for Link and his arc, but one thing I didn’t keep was the resentment and initial callousness that Wirt displays for Greg, who is revealed in the tavern sequence to be his half-brother thanks to his mother remarrying, something Greg frowns at when Wirt mentions it. Aryll is also technically Link’s half-sister, as I revealed in the letters that his mother remarried some years after his father’s death and had Aryll with her new husband, but I could not for the life of me see him being resentful or unkind to his little sister. Whatever his faults, I’ve written him as being, at his core, an incredibly kind and deeply loving person, and his adoration of his sister is a part of that. He doesn’t view her as a “half” anything, she’s just his sister and he’ll do anything to protect her. Which of course is a big part of what led to his breakdown: his feelings of guilt over not doing as good a job of that as he thinks he should be doing.

- “Link, I don't... I don't think that's natural light. It looks more like...” This has a double meaning. The fire in the lantern is not the “natural light” of the sun, and it is also deeply unnatural, given that it’s the Beast’s soul in there.

- Speaking of that! The confrontation with the Beast plays out a bit differently here than it does in the show, thanks to Midna’s personal connection to all this. Rhoam’s mention of Zelda gets her attention, and the Beast uses her love for Zelda as a way to try and turn her and Link against each other with his attempt to make them choose which soul will go into the lantern. He’ll get fuel and kill Aryll either way, but why not pit these two against each other as a way to manipulate them into doing what he wants? Except it backfires, because Midna won’t harm anyone for Zelda’s sake, and Link figures out what’s going on anyway, thanks to remembering the words of Rhoam and Telma.

- Link stood up, his mind racing. It was like when the solution to a puzzle finally presented itself in a moment of stunning clarity. For all that he’s not that bright in so many ways, it’s important to remember that he’s canonically able to solve all those tricky puzzles we do, without benefit of a guide, just using his wits and the tools he has at hand. And so too does he solve this particular puzzle, by remembering what he’s been told and piecing it together with what he sees here, thinking about the fact that the Beast’s story doesn’t add up. Which saves the day, in the end.

- “Am I wrong?” Link repeated, his voice shaking with barely suppressed fury; he took a few more steps, forcing the Beast to retreat further. “No more lies. Tell the truth for once, Beast.” Referencing, of course, the fact that Telma told him the Beast lies. He’s absolutely furious right now because of the attempt on Aryll’s life; you do not mess with Link’s loved ones. The Beast, too, fucked around and found out the hard way.

- In the show, Wirt gives the lantern back to the Woodsman to blow out after the delivery of the “Are you?” line that I kept (and had Link nail the delivery of on his first try, unlike Wirt, because that’s what makes sense for both their characters). Here, I chose to let Link kill the Beast, because he is, after all, the legendary hero who slays the villain. But even more importantly, I felt he deserved and had earned such a moment with his growing courage over the course of the tale.

- “See you later, Link.” Hey, remember how Midna broke all our hearts by saying a similar line to Link in TP as she broke the mirror and went back to her world? I sure do!

- “Sleepers wake, dreams will fade... although we cling fast..." This, and the lyrics that close out this section, are the first few lines of the vocal version of Ballad of the Wind Fish that was done for the LA remake.

- There were lights and shadowy figures coming closer, and voices—was someone calling his name? As I would later reveal in the prologue of a place to start, Mipha was screaming his name as she ran down the hill towards him.

- The words he wanted so badly to say to her hung on the tip of his tongue And it shows on his face, that desire to express the love for her that is all but bursting out of him in this moment, and Mipha sees it. She sees that love shining in his eyes as they stare at each other, giving her her hope back and then some. In a way, Link was right: if he hadn’t hidden from her, she would’ve realized what his real feelings for her are. He just didn’t know how happy it would’ve made her. But he will soon.

- “—and that's how we got away from the evil possessed lady!” Out of the corner of his eye Link saw Aryll shake the frog triumphantly, and Mipha, distracted by the sudden commotion, looked away from him. A small, muffled chime sounded, and the amphibian's stomach glowed. “The ringing of the bell commanded her! Though she wasn't really evil, just...” The series is never clear on just what the otherworld the brothers enter is, but it is clear that it really happened to them, and I preserved that ambiguity in the same way, by showing the bell as still being in the frog’s stomach.

- Link nodded. “Yes.” It didn't matter anymore how it'd gotten into her pocket; he'd made it, and brought it with him tonight, with the intention of giving it to her. There was no more question of taking it back or denying it. Courage has been achieved; he’s no longer going to hide or pretend, or try to take back the gift he worked on so hard. Midna is right: he’s been so brave in the Wild, and it’s time to apply that bravery to confessing his feelings to Mipha and letting her know that he loves her. The words will have to wait till the next day, but for now he’s doing all he can to face his fears and stop running, by hugging her and holding her hand and wiping her tears away, letting his love show in his expression as he looks at her without avoiding her eyes. Plus, of course, admitting to his intentions with the tape and inviting her over to listen to it together. They’re finally getting a breakthrough after two months of separation and pain.

- The doctor, Syrup, is a recurring NPC throughout the series, a witch who brews up helpful healing potions for Link to use on his adventures.

- I'm home, Mipha. Calling back, of course, to Midna’s line about there being someone waiting for him and to go home to her. Not only that, but in Mipha’s letters, I had her mention wanting him to “come back to her”. And now he finally has.

and that wraps this up, as the epilogue is composed strictly of Miphlink fluff and sweet, sweet payoff. if you took the time to read the fic and these write ups, thank you, I hope you enjoyed them! ❤

#annotations #and happy zelda anniversary!

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darklingduke · 4 years

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Inspired by @/capri-suns-and-gushers and this post about how sys-meds shouldn’t get to write the narrative about endogenic/parogenic/tulpamancy/spiritual/etc systems on this platform.

We wanted to use this as our official coming-out-as-a-system (on this blog at least) post, as well as answering some things.

If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask! Don’t send us syscourse or hate, please. (Long post, so it’s cut)

1. What kind of system are you?

We use several different terms to describe our system type, depending on how we’re feeling that day, who’s fronting, or who we’re talking to. We use endogenic, MaDD/paragenic, araisagenic, soul-bonding, and gateway.

Most of us are in here due to maladaptive daydreaming and escapism from the “core”, as well as projecting onto characters or having comfort characters.

There are a few subsystems in here, though. One of our Remuses is a traumagenic OSDD system, Zak is a traumagenic DID system, Cadence has unknown origins, and Cleo is a paragenic system.

2. How many of you are there?

Currently around 80 or so, counting subsystem member. But our numbers are constantly fluctuating when someone decides to leave or come back or walk-in. The highest amount we have ever had was around 120.

3. How long have you known about your plurality?

Our “core” learned the first time about aer plurality in... I wanna say... 2018? Ae came out to someone as a system and it didn’t go well, so ae decided to forget all about it and procrastinated everything. We’ve been out as a system since December of 2019 now, though.

4. Had you heard of DID/OSDD/DDNOS before you became plural/discovered your plurality?

Kind of? Someone at work approached us back in 2018 (see answer to 3) and whispered “hey. guess what. i’ve got multiple personality disorder. i’m not kyle.” then walked away. Star (”core”) went home that night and researched it and that’s how ae realized ae were plural.

5. Do you have a wonderland/innerworld? If so, what do you call it, and what are some things that you and your system members do there?

We do, but it’s very difficult to see, due to the body’s aphantasia. Very few people are actually able to see it. It’s more along the lines of us “asking” the brain what it looks like and guessing things until the brain is like “yeah that’s right.”

We call it our innerworld, or our headspace.

A lot of people like hanging out in the living room (our “control room”, playing video games on one of the tv’s in here, or hanging out in the pond outside.

6. What do you call your system members?

Headmates. We’re not against the term “alters” but we don’t tend to use it too much.

7. If you’re plural and don’t use the word “system” to describe you&, what word do you use?

We use the word “system” but we’ve been considering using different terms, just aren’t sure what terms there are to use lol.

8. What are some of the best things about being plural?

Probably getting to hang out with comfort characters. We are all aware that they aren’t their source, but they have many personality traits in common with their source, so it’s a source of comfort to get to hang out with and be friends with them.

9. What are some not-so-great things about being plural?

The occasional blurriness we get when we realize we don’t know who we are/who’s fronting, and we have to try to figure out who we are.

10. Do you have a spiritual or psychological view of your plurality?

We think it’s more of a spiritual view, because a lot of us, if not all of us, view it more as that person’s spirit coming to our headspace from a different dimension and hanging out here.

11. Do you ever experience “switching” or “possession” or any sort of change in who controls the body? If so, what do you call it, how easy/difficult is it, and what is it like? Were you always able to do this, or did you have to learn how over time?

We do experience switching, but it feels different sometimes than others. Sometimes it feels as though whoever is fronting is more along the lines of Star (”core”) being in front and someone else backseat driving, or vice versa.

We call it switching. It’s usually pretty easy. Sometimes we do it without even trying to or noticing. We’ll be sitting here playing a game or watching Tv and then all of a sudden realize we aren’t who was fronting before. Sometimes we have to focus on “handing over controls” in innerspace and there’s meatspace blurriness while that’s going on before it snaps into full control and the blurriness/dissociation goes away. it doesn’t normally take very long. A minute at most.

We have been able to do it since actively being plural in 2019 (see answer 3)

12. How do you and your system mates relate to each other? (Are you friends, family, romantically involved, caretakers, etc)

All of the above. There are some people who were born in the system, and their family is in here. There are some people who are dating, who were related before coming here, who adopted each other in here as family, etc. It’s more of a whole world in here than anything. People have different relationships with each other.

13. Have you come out to anybody in real life/in a singlet space about your plurality? How did it go?

We came out to our partner system’s dad (well they came out to him for us, but we gave them permission to do so), and he completely ignored the situation. And then we came out to the body’s mom, and she ignored us and told us she didn’t think we were safe with our partner system since they came out publically as a system.

14. What kinds of forms and appearances do your system members take on?

We have some people in here who are human, we have some cat-people, demons, vampires, sirens, ghosts, and other monsters/creatures. We don’t all look like how people look like in this world, though. We don’t look how most people would say is “life like”. It’s more along the lines of video game animation or a more realistic version of pixar animation.

15. What are you and your system members interested in?

Current interests are: Minecraft, Sanders Sides, Grey’s Anatomy, drawing, writing. Some people are interested in Don’t Starve Together. Some are interested in knitting and painting. Depends on the person.

16. What is your life like in the meatworld?

Assuming meatworld is like... “real” world. Currently with quarantine, there’s not much to tell. We switch out every few hours if the body’s anxiety or depression gets too bad for us, we vibe with our partner system, and we pretend to be the core around the partner system’s dad (whom we live with).

17. What are your music tastes? Movies? Favorite Colors? Animals? List any other favorites as well.

Ummm.... lol.... it really depends on the person. We have a playlist on spotify for each person. We don’t have much variety in favorite movies/shows, though. Most of us like animated movies or comedy or romcoms, or stereotypically straight movies (think Hallmark romance movie, or general romcoms, or raunchy comedy).

18. Does your system have a host/original? If so, what do you call them? Explain what role they play in your system.

We have Star. Ae are the “original” person in here. We call aem the “core” when need be, but we usually just call aem Star lol. Ae are just another person in here, ae don’t really play too much of a “role”. Ae just decides what name the body goes by on default and ae have the final say on haircuts and tattoos/piercings and stuff.

19. Do any system members have notable relationships outside of the system?

Yes! We have a partner system, @systemofthelostsouls .

Star is dating Omen, Dee, Animosity, Logan, Regulus, and Story. Virgil is dating Dee, Regulus, and Ceto. Remus is dating Omen, Dee, Logan, Emile and Story. Roman is dating Emile and Logan. Bee is dating Logan, Omen, Nyx, and Dee. Charlie is dating Omen and Dee. Denki is dating Jirou. Shinsou is dating Jirou. Kyle is dating Kay and has sort of a thing with Kenny and Stan.

And I’m decently sure there are more, but I can’t remember. I’m pretty new here, myself.

20. If you haven’t been plural for your entire life/haven’t known about your plurality until later in life: what was life like before plurality compared to life now.

According to Star, life before plurality was a lot more... stable. Now if we want to finish a writing project, Star either has to backseat write, let someone else write for aem, or it takes weeks. We’ve been working on one chapter of a fanfiction for a week now. Before, Star was able to finish a chapter in a day or two.

21. If you chose to become plural: why? What has changed since then?

We’re not actually sure if Star chose to become plural or not. Sometimes it feels like ae did (which fucks up with our imposter syndrome lmfao), sometimes it feels like Star chose to be plural and invited people here out of loneliness and wanting to fit in with our friend group at the time, but usually it just feels like people chose to come here, rather than the other way around.

22. Is there anything you’d like to say to the plural community at large?

Don’t gatekeep, please. Let endogenic systems use the words “system” and “switching” if it’s what works for them. They aren’t hurting anyone.

And please don’t fakeclaim. You don’t know what’s going on in someone’s head. You aren’t in there.

23. Is there anything you’d like to say to any singlets reading this post?

Thank you for reading such a long thing. If any of this confuses you, or you’d like to learn more, our inbox is always open. But be warned, if you send us hate or something, we’re more likely to just delete your ask than answer it.

Thank you all for reading! -Cyra

#cyra posts #coming out as a system #long post #star rambles

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maryellencarter · 4 years

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excessively detailed headcanon meme from camshaft22 about Wes

What does their bedroom look like? Lots and lots and lots of extremely colorful pillows and blankets. Not a hell of a lot else. And Kettch.

Do they have any daily rituals? Um. Not particularly, I think? He’s spent his entire adult life in the military, which pretty much defines what he has to do when.

Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often? Yes. We know that Wes is fairly good at hand-to-hand combat. I figure he also does weight training and cardio.

What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy? Tricky question, as it often is for characters from military canons. But I’m thinking he’d either barge in and work around the other people using the kitchen, or if all the stoves/ovens/etc were busy, find a ration bar or something.

Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.) We have pretty much nothing on this in canon. I tend to have his workspace covered in datacards and so forth, because he has that sort of ADHD vibe where your brain needs more than one screen to spread thoughts across. We do know that he has quite a good sense of smell, so he’s probably fairly cleanly in his personal life.

Eating habits and sample daily menu? Again: military. He eats what’s there to be eaten. Probably a fair amount of it, because all that muscle needs a lot of calories. I suspect during the Rebellion he helped supply the cooks by hunting for meat.

Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time? Good question. He’s not as hyper as Shalla; there are a couple of points in the books where we see him lying down doing nothing when he has some free time. (Once toward the beginning of Iron Fist iirc, when the three ersatz Zsinjes are discussing plans, Wes is lying on a sofa with a glass of brandy while they talk, and then when Myn goes to find him for the “you can’t look dignified” talk he finds Wes lying down in bed though he has a chair in his quarters.) He’s probably always thinking about random shit and entertaining himself.

Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging? I think it really depends on the context. On Adumar, we see him cutting loose and enjoying the fame and adulation, and also capes and swords. In the Wraith books, he’s more disciplined, because his quacklings need him to be, but he definitely enjoys pranks, and also setting up the sort of prank-like training methods he uses. I don’t think he really has any guilty pleasures as such, not that he would consider guilty.

Makeup? I kind of doubt he’s been in a context to encounter it much, other than Face’s stage makeup. In universes where he has, he definitely likes body glitter, and has probably experimented with using contouring techniques on his biceps.

Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such? You can’t be a Wraith without neuroses. He sits on them pretty effectively, but he’s a mess around the whole business with Kell’s father, and he’s fairly fatalistic about his own prospects of survival.

Intellectual pursuits? Good damn question. We know he’s smart, good at numbers, remembers obscure training protocols. We don’t know if he reads philosophy or writes poetry or... what exactly are “intellectual pursuits” anyway?

Favorite book genre? There are a lot of these questions that we don’t especially have answers to. I mean, I know this is a headcanon meme, but a lot of them I also haven’t pondered much. I don’t think we ever see Wes reading for fun, although I speculate he reads NR training manuals in order to figure out ways to mess with his students. I’ll have to ponder on this one.

Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general? Wes is pansexual aromantic. He pretty much respects that everybody has different orientations, but finds romance confusing and occasionally distressing, especially when it interferes with his friendships.

Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.) Um. Not really? The whole Star Wars bacta thing takes care of a lot of that. I have been messing around with a completely self-indulgent little sleep apnea headcanon, because you could just wear a specialized rebreather to sleep instead of a CPAP machine. I haven’t done anything with that, though.

Biggest and smallest short term goal? At what point in the story? That’s the trouble with a shared universe that spans 44 years at least.

Biggest and smallest long term goal? Ditto.

Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress? Ahahahaha yeah. XD Wes is famous, or infamous, for his unique sense of style -- although apparently there are things even he doesn’t want to wear, because Wedge was able to threaten him with letting Hobbie choose his clothes on Adumar. He likes bright colors, capes, shiny things, weaponry, and glitter.

Favorite beverage? I have no headcanon about this. Star Wars foodstuffs are difficult.

What do they think about before falling asleep at night? Probably ways to cause minor trouble and cheer people up. Or maybe he tells himself stories.

Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them? Well, I decided the “Hesken’s fever” that kept him out of the first Death Star battle was space chicken pox, and that he had it as a kid but it didn’t take, because I had chicken pox twice as a kid myself.

Turn-ons? Turn-offs? Sexually, or what? I’m old enough in internet years that I’m never quite sure whether we’re using this in the sense of things that you generally like and don’t like. Also, for as much Wes smut as I’ve written (it is a lot), I don’t really feel that I can produce a list.

Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen? Paper airplanes, possibly decorated with dicks.

How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life? Honestly, Wes is pretty damn organized when it comes to squadron stuff. I feel like this could go either way -- that he’s also super organized about his personal life, or that he’s completely and utterly disorganized outside the military structure.

Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all? Wes Janson, Ace Statistician. XD Honestly, he could probably be good at most things, he’s a lot smarter than he acts sometimes.

How do they see themselves 5 years from today? Again, at what point in the story?

Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout? These are really difficult to answer without specifying a timeframe.

What is their biggest regret? Definitely the Doran Incident.

Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy? Best friend is Hobbie. Worst enemy is probably whoever Wedge is currently pointing him at. Wes doesn’t really have a lot of personal enmities.

Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?) Go extremely organized and make everything happen that needs to happen.

Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies) Sit on his feelings until they stop bothering him.

Most prized possession? Kettch.

Thoughts on material possessions in general? He really doesn’t need much. I tend to figure he likes comfy cozy cuddly things and fancy capes, and other than that he mostly does with what the Rebellion / New Republic gives him. Hobbie probably invests his money for him (Ralltiir is a banking planet), and Wes doesn’t pay much attention to it. By the time he gets out of the military at last, he probably has a pretty fair pile.

Concept of home and family? The Fab Four are his family. I forget why, but I also decided he has some attachment to Taanab and probably goes back there to live once he musters out. The air and gravity just feel more correct there.

Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?) Wes gives the impression that there’s not a thought in his head that doesn’t come out his mouth, but at the same time he has secrets he doesn’t tell anybody until he has to. So, some of each? It’s a balancing act.

What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time? Um. I’m not sure he has any. I mean, this is a guy who unabashedly bounces on his bed to make a point.

What makes them feel guilty? Not much. Except the Doran incident and things that remind him of it.

Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making? Emotional, to the point that he’s made a principle out of it.

Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality? I honestly don’t know what this means. *googles* Well, I have learned a lot about tobacco lobbyists in the 1980s... ;P If I’m understanding what these mean, though, Wes is definitely not a Type A personality, and therefore is by definition a Type B personality.

What recharges them when they’re feeling drained? Being around people. Having fun. Conversation. Cheering other people up.

Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither? Probably neither. Sometimes he pretends to have a superiority complex as a form of goofing around, which is much more difficult to do when you actually have one of these complexes. (Compleces? Plurals are complicated.)

How misanthropic are they? Ahaha. Not very. Hobbie does all of that for him. XD

Hobbies? BEHOLD A PUNE *koff* Sorry. I don’t really know that Wes has any particular hobbies, although I suspect he can sew for purposes of making Kettch new outfits. Somebody had to make that gray Hawk-bats flightsuit.

How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education? Well, he definitely left school on Taanab by the time he was about eighteen at the oldest. I feel like he was probably kind of self-conscious about being a Rimworlder for a while (all three of the others are Coreworlders), and that might mix into his feelings about having left school early, if he did.

Religion? When I write Wes, he’s kind of an agnostic. It so happens that he never refers to the Force at all in the X-wing books, in any way, so I’ve riffed on that to a view that, while he’s seen Luke do things with the Force and knows it exists, he ascribes it a lot less power than the Jedi do. He sees the Force basically as a nonsentient temporally-amorphous ocean of impressions, which Jedi can use to foresee things like blaster bolts (which is useful), but when Jedi get larger and vaguer impressions about the “will of the Force”, he’s pretty sure they’re projecting. This doesn’t do too much harm when Luke does it, because Luke is a ball of sunshine who just wants what’s best for everyone, but it means that Sith and other fucked-up people have their own really dangerous views on the Force’s will. ...I may have thought this out rather a lot.

Superstitions or views on the occult? He probably has them. I’m very fond of space superstitions but I don’t think I’ve written any myself. Wes seems like the sort of guy who would laugh over ghost stories and then accidentally scare himself in the middle of the night.

Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds? Ummm I’m not quite sure what this means. *ponders* Nope, I’ve got nuthin’.

If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal? That’s also a hell of a question. Like does it mean who would they fall in love with? Are we talking that Anne of Green Gables shit about only being able to fall in love with a tall dark stranger with a melting voice?

How do they express love? Snuggling. Also annoying you into cheering up.

If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like? More or less a mixed martial arts thing. We see him use some wrestling moves and spinning kicks. I suspect Shalla gave him some lessons after she joined the Wraiths, because he seems a lot more confident about his hand-to-hand abilities on Adumar than in the first Wraith Squadron book.

Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not? Nope. He knows he’s going to die very soon; he’s a soldier in a war with an extremely high rate of attrition. His goal is to have as much fun as possible before he goes.

#wes janson #wes janson ace statistician #rogue squadron #star wars legends #meme

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adobe-outdesign · 5 years

Text

About the Last Note

This might just be me over analyzing things, but does this note seem really strange to anyone else?

First off: Every note in the game, much like the tapes in BATIM, tell us something about the plot, gameplay, or characters. Here’s a quick recap of the ones I can think of (I might have missed one or two, but you get the idea):

Note confirming Penny used to have a general store that shut down

Note introducing the West family and hinting at an Easter Egg

Note revealing what happened to the other Wests

Note confirming the stringless are effectively corpses, and that Showdown Valley has a sheriff somewhere

Note from Farmer Mill implying that whatever happened to the show, it was something that happened on one specific day (not over the course of a week or something)

Note telling you to obtain the second key and why there’s two

Note introducing Lookout and telling us that Undertaker saw something traumatizing

Note that tells us that Undertaker was lying to us (she says she lost her key, Lookout says she hid it intentionally)

Note from the Banker confirming that puppets have only started dying recently, and that this was not the case back when the show was still airing

Note warning you about the large puppet

Note telling you the code to the mines

Note confirming that the Stringless die via headshots and do feel pain

This is why I get stuck at this note. Not only is it the very last note you get before the ending... but what does it tell us, exactly? We already knew that there was a stage and a live audience - the Steam description mentions it directly, and even if the player didn’t read that, you see that exact thing like half a second after reading this note. It’s the only letter where, taken at face value, it seemingly doesn’t give us any new info.

But the other thing that’s throwing me is what’s said in the third line:

1) “They’d call our name” - our, plural, and name, singular. Not our names, not the name of the show, not Showdown Bandit’s name, but “our name”.

2) “We’d stand up” - Marionette shows usually open with the characters either already standing up on-stage, or being walked onto stage by their puppeteers depending on the kind of performance. This is because if the puppet isn’t already standing when the curtain opens, they’re lying lifeless on the floor. The only other thing I can think of is that the puppets were sitting when the curtain opened, but why would they be?

The beginning line is also weird - “I remember that” usually implies “I don’t remember much, but I do [remember that]”. Why would the Banker not remember much of his time on-stage?

And it’s also a little weird that it’s the Banker recalling this, of all puppets. It seems unlikely he’d be front and center on stage at the beginning of every performance, given that he’s more of a side character.

Now, don’t get me wrong - I’m not super fond of the idea of the puppets being possessed, mostly because I think there are more interesting options. But it is a valid possibility - and it does work with this note. If you take this as the Banker remembering something from when he was alive and working on the show, rather than as a puppet, the letter suddenly tells us something and seems to make more sense.

Take, for example, the Dusty Hills Band:

They’ve been mentioned a few times, namely this bit of writing on Keyman’s wall. It’s possible they were a live on-stage band that provided the music for the show, which would have been necessary on a filmed-live-on-set show like Showdown Bandit.

I’m bringing them up as a potential example of what I’m talking about because they work to demonstrate how the Banker’s letter makes more sense from the perspective of on-stage human performers:

“They’d call our name” - The name of a group, hence the singular/plural combo. “Introducing The Dusty Hills Band”, for example.

“We’d stand up” - House bands are usually seated during the performance. They may stand up briefly while being introduced before the show starts and the curtain opens.

But you want to know what’s really interesting?

According to this old poster from the trailer, “The Showdown Bandit Show” was not always called that. It appears the original name was “Showdown Bandit & the Dusty Hills Band” - which makes more sense as a name anyway, as it’s much less repetitive. You can also see this name used on some posters at the beginning, which seem to sport slightly different designs for the characters (Undertaker has a solid-black top, for example):

This means that originally, the name featured the Dusty Hills Band. At some point, they stopped featuring them for some unknown reason. We don’t know how many characters existed in this early version of the show, but we at least know from the poster that the Banker was one of them.

And as a side note, have you ever noticed how the Banker’s poster is the only one that’s conspicuously flickering during this part...?

TL;DR: The Banker’s last note seemingly contains no new info and doesn’t make much sense from the POV of a puppet. It does make sense from the POV of a person who worked on the show (such as the Dusty Hills Band), implying the puppets could possibly be possessed. Something happened to the Dusty Hills Band, as they stopped being included in the show’s name early on.

#showdown bandit #showdown #bandit #themeatly #banker #outdesign posts things #outdesign analyzes things #the dusty hills band could be puppet characters on the show rather than puppets so it might not necessarily be them #I'm just using them as an example because it's easier to explain that way

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parvatiholcomb · 5 years

Text

i’m spending so much time just editing this conversation over and over. very long, kinda rough fic excerpt under the cut. content warning for lots of discussion of suicide

“I obtained the maintenance records for Johan Miller’s lab,” says Phineas. “The night he died, when he was supposedly the only person in the building, someone also disabled the lab’s secondary ventilation system. It can’t possibly be a coincidence. The accident that killed him was no accident at all.”

“How long have you been looking into this?” asks Leah.

“Since I learned of his untimely death. At first, I thought I was merely being paranoid— but look. I wasn’t.”

“You’re right,” she says, grimly. “It wasn’t an accident.”

“You knew? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it’s been handled.”

“Then you must know who was behind it. It was the Board, wasn’t it? I knew it was only a matter of time before those corporate snakes decided to finish what they started.”

“It wasn’t the Board. Before you ask, I can’t tell you who it was. And before you ask the next question, I can’t tell you why I can’t tell you, either. All I can tell you is that there’s nothing more for you to investigate.”

“Do you think I could have survived thirty-five years as an outlaw without learning discretion? Whatever you’re trying to protect me from, you don’t need to.”

“It isn’t about protecting you. I’m asking you to trust me on this, Phin.”

“I’m man of science. ‘Trust me’ isn’t enough of an answer, not even from you. If you won’t tell me, then I’ll have to keep investigating, whether you want me to or not.”

For a long moment, she holds his gaze— and then she folds, shoulders slumping. “He wasn’t murdered.”

“You can’t possibly expect me to believe that, can you? You just admitted it wasn’t an accident.“

“It wasn’t murder, and it wasn’t an accident.” Leah holds up a hand to keep Phineas from interrupting. “Johan turned off the fume hood himself. He messaged me the night he did it. Explained his reasons, asked me to keep it a secret. That’s why I didn’t want to tell you. It was his last request.”

Immediately, Phineas perceives the shape of things. “Is that message the only evidence?”

Leah blinks at him. “Evidence?”

“I don’t doubt you believe what you’re saying, but I’ve dealt with the Board’s machinations for much longer than you have. Forgery is child’s play for them. They’re terrified of you, after what you did at Tartarus— and they’re right to be. They would stoop to any means to throw you off the scent.”

“Phineas. You already made me tell you the truth. Don’t make me convince you.”

“I know this must be an emotional subject for you, but think about it logically. Dr. Miller’s work was among the most successful of any researcher in Halcyon. What possible reason could he have for choosing to stop?“

Leah stares at Phineas, dumbfounded, as though he just declared that the speed of light is saltuna. Not simply an incorrect statement, but one so fundamentally wrong about the nature of reality that the listener doesn’t know where to start with corrections. Finally, she says, “You know about his kids. We were both there when he woke up.”

Phineas has a vague memory of Miller mentioning something about the family he left behind on Earth: two daughters and three sons (or was it three daughters and two sons?) and a dozen grandchildren. The specifics hadn’t seemed important at the time. But now, Phineas — not a father, not a family man, and not accustomed to stepping outside himself — pauses to consider what the loss would feel like. A thought experiment. Leah, he supposes, is the closest analogue. If he woke one morning to learn that she died decades ago, lightyears away—

Multiply that by five, and Leah’s hypothesis becomes a sickeningly plausible alternative to murder. “But he lived with that reality for six months. What changed?”

“A few weeks ago, he thought he found one of their names on a colony ship manifest from Dashkova. But that morning, he found out it was a different Jozefein Miller. They just happened to have the same name and be the same age.”

Another plausible answer. There must be a flaw somewhere, if only Phineas can find it. “Dr. Miller wasn’t indentured. He didn’t have a body price. Why hide the fact that he killed himself?”

“He knew how much faith you put in us. He didn’t want to disappoint you.”

“If he wanted to avoid disappointing me, he should have stayed alive. We needed him, damn it! He was supposed to help us save Halcyon. How could he—”

“Do you think he didn’t know that? Do you think any of us go a damn day without thinking about all the lives depending on us? Our families are dead, and Earth is dead, and somehow, we have to put all that aside, because we’re the only ones who can stop Halcyon from dying, too. Do you have any idea what that does to somebody?” Leah’s voice cracks. “Do you have any idea how many hours I’ve spent talking people down from— from a pistol, or a bottle of pills, or—”

She inhales a sharp stab of breath, and she stands there, trembling.

“You said ‘people,’” says Phineas, all his anger washed away by a flood of nausea. “Plural. Are there others who might…?”

“I wish I could tell you there aren’t, but I can’t.”

“I’m sorry,” says Phineas, because he doesn’t know what else to say. Johan Miller is dead, crushed under grief and the burden Phineas placed on his shoulders. He’s still killing the Hope’s colonists. He’s still killing them, and he didn’t even realize it. A voice in his mind, quiet as a knife going in, whispers: They weren’t people until they started screaming. “I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry. It isn’t your fault Halcyon’s broken, and it isn’t your fault we’re the only ones who can fix it.”

Phineas can’t meet her gaze. “It is my fault. If I’d found the solution to thawing you earlier—”

“Look at me,” says Leah. “Look at me, Phin. We’re only alive because you refused to give up on us. You spent thirty-five years trying. Just you, alone. You did everything you possibly could for us.”

“That’s what I can’t stand. I did my best, and it wasn’t good enough.”

“It was.” Leah wraps him a hug that he doesn’t deserve. Phineas possesses the physical strength to push her away, but not the moral strength. She’s a wall of living warmth, proof that his failure wasn’t total, and he lets her hold him. “It was. What you did was a miracle, and you did it with no help from anyone. With the Board trying to hunt you down. You can’t blame yourself.”

#this is made out of pieces of like 50 different drafts #fic excerpt #you inherit the trauma of the mad scientist who revived you but will never fully understand it

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idkwhoiamanymorebutwtf · 5 years

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Psycho Analyzing: Eggs Benifits

While the kids' parenting style showed a bit about them, I think it showed more about their families, really.

For example, Nurf was abusive towards Preston. This was likely due to the obvious abuse from his uncle, who was bad enough for Child Protective Services to be involved. However, with the egg, Nurf was so much less explosive. His mother is in jail. She's violent. But with Nurf? She's as good a mother as any. And of course, his dad wad never around, which amplifies his need to be there for his own son.

Then there's preston. He let Nurf abuse him- not that it was his fault, victim blaming isn't condoned here- but he seemed to be a bit meek and immediately went along with Nurf. This is probably caused by one of two things. Either his own parents were in a similar relationship (which could be why he lives with his grandmother. If his mother left or was killed and if his father was arrested or killed-), which would lead to him picking this behavior up from them, or his parents were never around. His grandmother,,though she is incredible, bless her soul, certainly doesn't strike me as a strong role model. If his parents were NEVER around, Preston likely doesn't know what a stable family structure is like, and a lot of people in those situations do follow whatever they're taught is how a family should look. So when Nurf started shoving him around, Preston would have no reason to think that isn't how parents were meant to act. I think the latter is a stronger possibility, as Preston didn't assume the role of an abused housewife until after Nurf showed abusive behaviors, implying that wasn't something he'd been exposed to before, but that he is vulnerable to anything he's exposed to, meaning his parents have likely been gone from the start. I think his love for theatre may even stem from a psychological connection formed with it directly resulting from a lack of any other role models in his life.

Next let's talk about Ered. She has a very stable home life. Her dad's are "cool", they seem to encourage her passion for extreme sports and the only downside I see is that they may be too loose with her. I mean, I'm not saying that makes them bad parents. It's just that every parent has flaws. As stated in the episode, there isn't really a right way to do any of it, and everyone's going to mess up somewhere. And the shortcomings of her dad's come through in Ered's own parenting. They put too much faith in letting her do her own thing. They sent her to Camp Campbell for her extreme sports camp despite the fact that Cameron is literally a dangerous criminal. However I also think Ered and her dad's have different reasons for being so easygoing (to a fault). Ered is into extreme sports. With that as your hobby, you learn that pain is part of the game, so she was unconcerned when her egg broke because that's how you learn. You learn by messing up. Meanwhile her own dad's seem to leave her to her own devices because, well..they let her get away with too much. They seem to view her as perfect. Ered's allowed to do what she wants by them and is always given positive reinforcement. She apparently had awful grades in school but was still sent to extreme sports camp! In the end, this really solidifies the fact that her dad's are too lenient, which is likely the cause of her behavioral issues with manipulating, using, and insulting other's.

Dolph is distinctly, pointedly, not like his own father. Dolph doesn't want to constrain his egg. He wants the egg to be a free spirit and do whatever he wants to do with his life. This is him going against his father, who thinks his passion for art is lame. Dolph is trying so hard NOT to be like his father. However, Dolph also seems to show a want to live through his own child. He paints on the egg and insists he's going to be "an artist/pro skater!" Which does allow bits of how Dolph himself was raised to shine through in a need for father to live through son, weather Dolph means to push his dreams onto the egg or not. And I do doubt he means to. He genuinely seems to think it's what his kid wants for himself, and that's something a lot of parents do when the project onto their kids, because often they're pushing what they want unintentionally.

Next we have Nerris. She's imitating her parents in a few ways. Now, look. She has good parents. A stable life. She was pushing her goals on her age, but only because it's how she and her father bonded, and she wants to bond with her kid too. Her lecturing of Harrison seemed reminiscent of how her mother seems to scold her father when he steps out of line (note the difference is that Nerris was being spiteful while her mother is normally just a bit exhasperated. Nerris and Harrison's arguing was distinctly different from the interactions between Nerris' parents.) Nerris was trying to be like her parents, very good people to aspire to parent like. Nerris just misinterpreted how to do that.

Harrison is interesting. I think people don't give his parents enough credit. Yeah, they're afraid of him. But it's not like he just does tricks. He made his brother disappear! If I did that my parents would leave me in the fucking woods to fend for myself! But Harrison's sent him to a camp to control his power's and them even bothered to show up for parents day. They care about him, and their fear is absolutely justified. Just going by lines such as "my mom says I'll grow into my looks" and "I can't wait to tell my mother!!" From Harrison, his parents were fine before the whole thing! That being said, though, they don't support him enough. For good reason or not, they don't paint his passion for magic in a good light. Hence why he defended his own egg so fiercely and put so much value in him having fun.

Now let's talk Space Kid. He's an enigma. He was very passive, relenting to whatever Neil wanted for their kid. He clearly has both parents in his life to some extent, seeing as in Parents Day he referred to them in plural, as in, both his parents. I am, though, lead to believe that his mother isn't very prominant in his life. Maybe she's neglectful or doesn't have custody rights over him or maybe She's just too busy. She seems to show up to things sometimes or he wouldn't even think to bring both his parents up..ever. But he also clings to Gwen as a mother figure of sorts and asked Muriel in Camp Corp if she was their "new mom." Of course, we can only speculate on his parents. Maybe his mother is a business woman too busy for him and his father is weak willed and does whatever she asks. Maybe she lost custody of him one way or another and his father is meek under his families preassure. One way or another, though, his mother isn't around enough and his father takes on a role much like Space Kid did in Eggs Benifits, submitting to someone else when it comes to his kid.

Neil is an odd case too. His dad did seem rather clingy. But not to the point that would inspire the level of helicopter parenting Neil displayed. But then, I got to thinking about his mother. She and Carl are divorced. She tries to buy Neil's love and is seemingly the sole recipient of his familial affection. I feel she is rather possessive of him. Not to the same level as Neil was, but enough to spur that behavior in him. I wouldn't be shocked if Neil's distaste for Carl also came from his mother's possible manipulation. Neil seems to want to be as far from his dad as possible, hence how he cranks everything up to eleven, being paranoid and posessive to an extreme as opposed to his easy going father.

With Max it's easy to see his parent's influence. They're neglectful. Maybe even physically abusive. At first his behavior just seemed to mirror theirs. But then I got to thinking. Max is a good person, deep down. He wouldn't fuck up something in his care like that. So then I thought Max probably really did just think the whole thing was dumb because it wasn't real. He seems much more mature than the other kids in that sense. But as one of the most recent episodes, where Max goes full on detective, goes to show, he doesn't have that much of an issue playing along unless he's got something else to do. So I thought...he was probably frightened. I mean, neglect and abuse victims usually are when they're given a kid, are you kidding me? He was sure he was going to mess up so he thought it'd be better to let Nikki do things alone. This really leads me to think his parents are abusive and not just neglectful. Because if his parents fucked him up by leaving him to care for himself and nothing else, I doubt he'd choose to avoid the egg like that. But if his parenta actually /hurt/ him, physically or mentally, he'd be afraid of doing the same. And this is only solidified for me by the ending where he DID come around and he DID care about the egg when it hatched, meaning his fear of messing things up is most likely why he did avoid responsibility for the egg. So yeah, he's being abused.

Finally Nikki. She REALLY seems to have a bad father. Every time she mentions him it's him doing something ranging from mmildly awkward to pretty fucked up. Like talking about hookers in front of your young daughter. Nikki's behavior here, though, seemed much like her mother. I'm a STRONG defender of Candy. She signed Nikki up to a camp she knew her daughter would enjoy, and it's not her fault it turned out to be a scam, she turned up to parents day, even if she was a bit distracted, and aparently she had Nikki go bird watching with her, showing that she does spend time with her daughter. And she was apparently responsible enough to get full custody of her kid in the divorce. Sure, Candy's a gold digger, but that has nothing to do with her love for Nikki, and yeah, she dismissed Nikki being chased out by the flower scouts as a "silly little adventure", but Nikki is prone to dramatics. Nikki talks enough about Candy to show that she is around. But it's very, very likely that, like Nikki, she has no idea what the hell she's doing. That she's scared and doesn't know what's right and what's wrong. Being a single mother is hard, and it's clear that Candy isn't the most well off financially. I really think she's really just lost on how to do things like Nikki was in this episode.

Please tell me what y'all think and give me your own interpretations of their families. :)

#camp camp #camp camp analysis #eggs benifits #cc max #cc nikki #cc neil #cc ered #cc dolph #cc space kid #cc nurf #cc nerris #cc harrison #cc preston

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providentially-demonic · 6 years

Text

Miraculous Mystery Skulls

First Arc: a Spellcaster, a Ghost and a Mechanic walk into a bar Paris

Summary: On their honeymoon in Paris, the City of Lights, the trio of Vivi, Lewis and Arthur encounter more than sightseeing... in the form of monsters, supervillains and a pair of teen superheroes. Sometimes, miraculous things can happen, when you least expect it.

(A Mystery Skulls/Miraculous Ladybug crossover event)

A/N: This all started with this fic by @phantoms-lair and the silly idea of them running into Chat Noir and Ladybug while there. It grew...

It’s a tale of heroes, miraculous, found family and more (with a healthy dose of puns). Co-created and written with assistance from @phantoms-lair, so she deserves some of the credit and a lot of the blame! :P

Chapter One: Strays on the Balcony

"Mmmnn?" Arthur stirred from sleep, aware that something was different. Lewis was warm beside him, but holding himself absolutely still, head cocked as if listening to something. There was an absence on his other side, cool sheets indicating that they has been vacant a while.

Lewis laid a finger across his lips and inclined his head toward the balcony doors of their hotel room. There were voices out there and only one of them was Vivi's.

Arthur strained to hear, but it wasn't until Lewis gently cupped the side of his face, fingers too warm against his skin, that he could hear clearly. Lewis must have had a deadbeat eavesdropping, and was channeling it to him through his touch.

" — not safe here, ma'am." The voice was young but spoke perfect English, though accented in a way that said it was not their first language.

Another voice, feminine and equally as young, spoke in French. Through Lewis, he could get a sense of the words. "Something doesn't feel right about this. It doesn't quite feel like an—” Arthur could not understand the last word and knew it wasn't one Lewis knew either.

The first voice replied in French. "It doesn't smell like one either, but it's weird. Not— not human. It smells like a fire, almost. But one with something cooking on it. But it doesn't smell at all like—”

Vivi had obviously had enough of a conversation she could only partially understand. "I think you should tell me what you think is going on to bring a cat burglar and a— a spotted fire hydrant to my hotel room at this hour. And preferably before my husbands wake up."

"What did she just call me—?!" The feminine voice scaled up a notch. "And are you sure she even speaks English right, because it sounds like she's uses the wrong possessive. A plural one!"

"Milady, calm down." The first voice entreated.

"Waiting for an explanation," Vivi said, her tone just this side of icy.

Arthur figured he should try and defuse the situation. He rose from the bed, Lewis getting up with him and donning his sunglasses.

Clad only in sleep pants and a white t-shirt (sloppily knotted over the stump of his left shoulder), Arthur padded to the balcony doors. Lewis remained behind him, a hand on his scarred shoulder. It was both support and a way for Arthur to know what was being said. He appreciated Lewis's thoughtfulness.

He stepped through the gauzy curtains and into the cool night air. Vivi, clad in a hotel bathrobe over her sleep shorts, had her hands on her hips and an annoyed expression. She was confronting— well, Arthur wasn't sure who they were supposed to be, besides awfully young to be perched on the balcony railing at half past two.

The boy, with a tumble of unruly blond hair, was dressed in a very feline themed black suit that looked like leather but was clearly not, and crouching on the rail with deceptive ease. Beside him was a girl, all in red with numerous black spots. Her hair was pulled back into two ponytails and she was staring at Vivi with a mutinous expression. Both were masked with half masks and the boy held a baton in clawed gloves. The girl didn't appear to be armed but Arthur had his doubts about that.

"Vivi?" Arthur kept his tone light. "Who are your guests?"

Vivi's grin was sharp as glass. "I found a couple of strays."

"Vivi," Lewis's expression was one of mild curiosity, and even the rebuke barely qualified as one.

Vivi's cheeks puffed out in a frustrated sigh. "Dipped if I know. They popped up when I wandered out for a breath of fresh air and only one of them speaks English. He's been going on about us being in danger."

~~~~~

“We believe we sense an akuma in here, and we need to purify it,” Chat explained in English.

It was like a switch flipped, the blue woman went from confused to aggressive. Chat was fairly certain she'd been empty-handed, but suddenly there was a frost-tinged baseball bat in her hands. "You can't have him," she hissed.

Ladybug and Chat leapt back, Ladybug shooting out her yoyo to try and pull the bat out of her hands. In response the large man seemed to suddenly to catch fire, especially his hair and hands.

"Their weapons are magic, Arthur! Stay back!" The lady called out, and the one armed blond took a step back, but seemed unwilling to leave.

Chat looked over the fiery guy. He was obviously the akumatized one, but there was no obvious weapon for the akuma to be hiding in. The most likely thing would be the golden heart he wore prominently, so that what he was aiming for. His lady was tied up with the bat lady, so it was up to him.

~~~~

Arthur felt his heart jump into his throat when he saw the presumably magical claws aiming for Lewis's anchor. He dashed back into the room, looking for something— anything— he could use as a weapon. His eyes fell on a screwdriver he was using for some arm repairs and he grabbed it, not noticing the dark butterfly that landed on the screwdriver as he did.

Your lovers need protecting. I will give you the power to save them, Loose Screw, and all you have to do is bring me Ladybug and Chat Noir's Miraculouses.

~~~~

"Get the fuck out of my head!"

The battle on the balcony froze at the cry. Lewis and Vivi rushed into the room, with Chat Noir and Ladybug right on their heels. Arthur was clutching a darkly glowing screwdriver, the Hawkmoth mask around his face. However, rather than transforming, he was thrashing around, shouting obscenities at the voice in his head.

"He's fighting it off." Chat Noir said in wonder. He'd never seen anyone fight off Hawkmoth.

"He can't fight forever," Ladybug said grimly. "We need to get to the screwdriver."

"Artie, hold on." Lewis grabbed Arthur when he started banging his head against the wall and hugged him tightly to keeping him from hurting himself.

"The akuma's in the screwdriver," Chat said in English. "We need to break it so Ladybug can purify it."

Vivi shot him a suspicious look, but turned to Lewis. "Hold his arm out so the screwdriver's extended."

Lewis did so and Vivi brought up her bat, frost gathering on the edge, and slammed it down. The screwdriver shattered with a release of dark power and a butterfly oozing corruption fluttered out. Ladybug snapped it up as Arthur slumped over, no longer fighting the possession.

"Did I hurt anyone?" Arthur asked weakly.

"No, you fought it off completely. I've never seen anyone fight off an akuma before." Chat explained.

"That was what you called an akuma?" Vivi asked.

"It's what an akuma is, a butterfly tainted by Hawkmoth and used to turn people into monsters."

"Oh," Vivi bit her lip. "In Japan it means something different..."

~~~~

"Bye bye, little butterfly," Ladybug said softly, releasing the purified butterfly.

"It's looks like there's been a bit of a linguistic misunderstanding." Chat said softly.

"But your English is nearly perfect." She was honestly impressed that the carefree Chat was so fluent in a second language.

"Not English, Japanese." he explained. "In Japan 'Akuma' means a fire spirit, in particular one with fiery hair and eyes," They looked at the large glowing-eyed figure whose hair was still flickering. "When I said we were here to purify one, she thought I was saying we were here to exterminate her husband."

~~~~

Arthur sagged to the floor, his legs too shaky to hold him. Lewis knelt with him, still cradling Arthur’s shoulders.

Vivi rushed over. "Arthur!"

He dredged up a smile for her. " ’M okay, Vi. Just shaken up. That was—”

Vivi squished him to her in a tight hug. "You fought it off, love. You did great."

The cat-suited boy dropped into an easy crouch. "Forgive the misunderstandings. I'm called Chat Noir. My lady, Ladybug, and I defend Paris from a villain called Hawkmoth. The Akuma are his. He manipulates people with them, as he attempted to do just now." He explained in English.

Vivi only glanced at him, most of her attention on Arthur.

"To be honest, we have never seen anyone fight off his Akuma so successfully. He manipulates his victim’s emotions with them." Chat waved a hand at the restored screwdriver. "Each victim has a focus item that must be destroyed, and the Akuma in it must be purified."

Vivi shuddered. "Linguistic misunderstanding or not, hearing that makes my skin crawl." She gripped one of Lewis's hands, her other arm still tucking Arthur against her chest, and turned her attention fully to Chat Noir. "If he ever comes near my boys again, he'll be the deadest villain in Paris. He thinks he can interrupt our honeymoon without having his ass kicked into next week—!”

Arthur patted her hand where it gripped his shirt. "Easy, tiger.”

Vivi was having exactly none of it. “No. Not only did he screw up our honeymoon, but— but he tried to—”

“But he didn’t,” Arthur reminded her gently. “You guys—” He lifted his eyes to the two superhero youths. “All of you, stopped him before—”

“Don’t dismiss your own part in this,” Chat Noir interrupted. “You fought his influence off, and that’s no easy thing.”

Arthur shuddered, his skin crawling. “I— I was possessed before, once, and—” His hand came up to clutch his shoulder and his breath caught in his throat.

“Breathe, Arthur,” Lewis chided softly, pulling Arthur’s hand away from his shoulder. “Deep breaths.”

“Let’s just say something bad happened,” Vivi finished grimly, resting her hand on Arthur’s chest, just over his heart.

It took Arthur a moment to compose himself. “I wasn’t going to let that happen again. I— I would have—” His eye fell on the screwdriver lying on the floor and his skin prickled with goosebumps.

“And this Hawkmoth would be nothing but a greasy burn mark if you had.” Lewis picked up the screwdriver and stuffed it in a pocket.

Arthur relaxed a little.

"I think we should talk." Vivi looked up. "No one with that kind of ability should be terrorizing an entire city. And he just earned himself a couple of implacable enemies with tonight's trick."

"I understand, but you don't have Miraculous to battle him. It requires Milady's miraculous to purify his—” Chat Noir cast a glance at Lewis and amended himself. "To banish his influence from those he has Akumatized."

Vivi snorted. "We're not exactly without weapons ourselves, as you have seen."

Arthur made an ugly sound, partially laughter and part something he didn't want to name, even to himself. "Speak for yourself. " He gestured at his shoulder. "I'm kinda unarmed."

Chat's eyes widened and he stifled surprised laughter.

The girl looked a little annoyed and she muttered something that sounded uncomplimentary, but without Lewis concentrating on him Arthur didn’t understand her.

Vivi made a displeased sound. “Okay, this is getting old. We need to talk, and relying on translation is taking up time I think would be better spent elsewhere.” She pointed imperiously at the table and chairs that occupied one corner of the suite. “You two sit. I gotta see if I can still remember this spell.”

The girl, Ladybug, seemed mutinous, but settled at a touch from Chat. They sat at the table while Vivi fetched the still mostly-full ice bucket and centered it on the small table. She concentrated for a moment, holding her hand over the ice. Pale frost sparkled on the air for a moment and then she lowered her hand to touch the ice. She pulled it away and nodded to Chat. “Touch the ice too, bare skin please. For as long as the ice lasts, we’ll be able to talk to each other. I gave it my knowledge of English, and you will provide the French.”

With a glance over at Ladybug, Chat peeled off one of his gloves and placed pale fingers on the ice.

Vivi nodded at Ladybug. “Say something, please. I want to make sure it worked.”

“I’ve never heard of magic like that.” Ladybug exclaimed. “Wait, I understood everything you said!” She leaned forward to squint at the ice. “How did you do that?”

Vivi chuckled. “A basic translation spell, using the ice as a medium. Ice works best for me, though my teacher uses fire.”

With Lewis’s help, Arthur dragged himself back to his feet, moving to take a seat at the table. “Well, that makes things a bit easier. Thanks, Vi.” He leaned over to give her a brief kiss.

Ladybug glanced between them. “So your English wasn’t messed up! You really are married... to both of them?”

“We are,” Arthur answered. “All three of us together, though the papers are only between Vivi and I since it’s hard to get a marriage license for a ghost.”

Ladybug’s eyes went wide and she leaned as far back in her chair as she could. “G-ghost?”

Lewis sighed and let his human shape go, reverting to the skeletal form that had been his for the past three years. “Boo.”

Ladybug eeped and her chair would have gone over backwards if Chat had not steadied it. She drew her knees up in front of her chest. “A ghost,” she repeated. “I—”

Arthur managed a dry chuckle. “Believe me, he’s spectral. I’d say he—”

Lewis clapped a bony hand over his mouth. “Arthur, I swear, if you say the ghost with the most one more time—”

“I was going to say hauntingly handsome.” Arthur grinned obnoxiously. It felt good to be able to tease Lewis, to chase away some of the cold dread the feeling of the attempted possession had left behind.

Chat burst out in laughter, earning a half-dismayed look from Ladybug. “Don't you dare!” She flailed her hands in a desperate attempt to keep him quiet.

“Milady, I would never ghoul so low. Such accusations haunt me.” Chat's grin was puckishly delighted.

“Arrrggghhh!” Ladybug buried her face in her hands.

Vivi covered her mouth to stifle an unbecoming snort of laughter. "Oh my God, Arthur, why didn't you tell me there were two of you?"

Arthur raised an amused eyebrow. "You know very well that there's only one of me. But he has a fine turn of proper punsmanship."

Ladybug groaned. "I should've stayed in bed..."

"Speaking of bed," Lewis added, resuming his human guise. "Forgive me if this seems out of place to ask, but how old are you? You seem awful young for this."

"Being a hero knows no age," Chat Noir struck a pose in his chair.

Beside him, Ladybug rolled her eyes at his antics but answered with frank honesty. "It's not really a matter of choice. My miraculous is the only thing that can undo Hawkmoth's manipulations. Chat can battle the Akumatized people, but he can't undo what happens; can't purify the effects of Hawkmoth's Akuma."

"So you're kids," Vivi's tone was cold and flat. "This Hawkmoth has a lot to answer for."

"It— the miraculous came to us. That had nothing to do with him," Ladybug was flustered. "My kwami bonded with me. I care for her."

Arthur rose to his feet, but only moved so far as to crouch between Ladybug and Chat Noir's chairs. "We're not saying you don't, and there's nothing wrong with that. But— If Hawkmoth weren't here, you wouldn't have had to step up and fight him, kwami or not. That he has to answer for."

Ladybug chewed on her lower lip, but couldn't meet his eyes.

Chat Noir made a sort of growling sound in the back of his throat. "I don't care that I have to battle with Hawkmoth's Akuma, I'm not giving up my miraculous or my freedom."

"Chat?" Ladybug turned to him. "What? You never—”

Chat looked like a guilty cat, his black ears canted back and flattened a bit. "It's nothing, Milady. Pretend you never heard that."

It was clear from her expression Ladybug would not forget his words anytime soon, and frankly, Arthur had his doubts that any of them would let that slip go unnoticed. Vivi's storm-cloud eyes had darkened and her lips were pressed into a thin line. Lewis looked like he was contemplating whether to serve Hawkmoth en flambé or very, very extra crispy.

Ladybug chewed the corner of her lip again, and then cautiously rested her hand on Chat Noir's arm. He jumped a little and then patted her fingers gently.

Vivi puffed out her cheeks with a sigh. "I'm gonna let it go for now, but you can be sure we're gonna talk more about this age thing once we've done something about Hawkmunch."

Ladybug drew her hand back and glanced up at Vivi. "Why do you want to help so much? Sure, he attacked your— your husband, but he's free now."

Lewis leaned forward in his chair, his dark sclera making his gaze even more penetrating. "But things could have been worse... have been worse. It's not just that he attacked Arthur, though we don't forgive that easily, it's that he's doing this to others, over and over. And he won't stop until we— all of us— find a way to stop him."

A pensive expression crossed Ladybug's face and she looked back at Chat Noir. "Can the two of us speak privately for just a moment. Just for a few minutes, I swear. It's kinda important."

Vivi didn't look pleased, but assented with a nod. "Don't try to cut us out of this, though. You need our help. And I'd rather we work as a team than be at odds." She gestured toward the bedroom of the suite.

~~~~

Ladybug closed the door behind them and leaned against it with a heavy sigh.

"Milady?"

She pursed her lips and took in the bedroom. There was a folded dividing screen by the wardrobe and she hurried over to extend it. "We really need our kwami's advice on this, so that means we'll have to unmask. I'll be behind this with you on the other side. I'm going to trust that you won't peek and you'll have to do the same."

Chat's usual smirk dropped away. "I would trust you with my identity and more."

"I know, but let's keep our secrets for now."

She retreated behind the screen and took a deep breath. "Tikki, spots off." Her costume vanished and Tikki swirled into existence by her shoulder.

On the other side of the screen she heard Chat command, "Plagg, claws in."

She waited a few seconds before speaking. "Tikki, I know you two heard everything. We need your help. What do you think of them... and their offer of help?"

She heard a grumble from the other side of the screen and then, "What is it with you two? Jeez. They want to help, and frankly at least two of them are powerful enough to give Hawkmoth real problems. So why not let them?"

"Plagg," Tikki scolded.

"What? You're the trusting one here. What do your instincts say? I can't be the only one who thinks this is a good thing!"

Ladybug had to admit her kwami looked conflicted. Tikki hummed a frustrated sound and spun in a circle around her head. Ladybug offered a hand and Tikki settled into her palm with another grumble. "I don't know," she said at last. "In— in all our history, we've only ever looked to the other miraculous bearers to aid us. But now, one of us is held by the enemy and forced to act against his nature, and no matter what we do, we haven't been able to free him."

“Tikki...”

“Listen here, bright eyes. Yeah, maybe that’s the way it’s always been, but like you said, this is a new situation. We haven’t been able to do anything the way we used to, so maybe if we have some help from new sources, we can actually do something. We could stop Hawkmoth and save his kwami.” Tears prickled behind Ladybug’s eyelids at Plagg’s impassioned declaration.

“I agree with Plagg.” Chat’s voice was firm. “Maybe it’s time to try something new, Milady.”

Tikki sighed and shook her head. “I really don’t know if this is for the best, but I’m willing to try. We’ve been stuck in this impasse with Hawkmoth for way too long and I’m worried for his kwami.”

Ladybug cuddled Tikki close to her cheek for a moment. “Then we’re agreed, all of us. Maybe they can really help us.”

“We’ll never know if we don’t try, Milady. Shall we go talk to them, see if there’s some planning to do?”

“Tikki, spots on!” When the transformation was done, Ladybug nodded firmly. “Let’s go, kitty.”

~~~~

When the door had closed behind the two costumed heroes, Lewis turned and suddenly gathered Vivi and Arthur tight against his chest.

“Ooof, Big Guy!” Arthur didn’t struggle, only looked with concern at Lewis. “What’s up? You okay there?”

“Am I okay? You— you were the one—?” Lewis squeezed tighter, at a loss for words.

Arthur sighed. “I’m okay, love. Sure it scared the piss out of me at the time, but it’s over, and now that I know his modus operandi you can bet he’ll never get a hold on me again.”

Vivi burrowed into Arthur’s side inside Lewis’s fierce hold and growled under her breath. “Never again.”

Lewis felt a tug on his mind, one of his deadbeats. He hadn’t been paying attention to them after the attack on Arthur and he reached out to it, concerned.

Suddenly he was there, in the bedroom, looking from the perspective from behind the potted fern in the corner. The two heroes each stood on one side of the dividing screen and as he watched, they banished their disguises, becoming two teens and two small, floating creatures.

Vivi stiffened beside him. “They’re just kids!” Her voice was tight with outrage and Lewis realized he had inadvertently shared the deadbeat’s perceptions with them. ”So young!”

“Too damn young.” Arthur growled.

Lewis agreed with every word. These children were defending their city from a supervillain! He felt his hair start to flicker and tamped down hard on the rage. He wasn’t going to let himself lose control. Not again.

~~~~

Lewis was still simmering by the time the two superheroes had emerged from the conference, but at least he had gained enough control to keep his hair from going all fiery. Arthur let Lewis cling to him, both for his own peace of mind and to keep Lewis grounded.

Vivi had put on her professional mask to hide her thoughts, and she only gestured them over, "Have you come to a decision?" Her smile was all politeness and Arthur thought someone that didn't know her as well as they did would buy into it without a second thought.

Ladybug heaved a sigh. “Perhaps you are right. We— we haven't been able to truly stop him, only delay whatever his twisted plans are and clean up the messes that he causes with his Akumatized victims. So—”

“Let's lay all our cards on the table and see what we can come up with,” Vivi's smile gentled into something more real as she reseated herself. “I'll go first. My name is Vivi and I am a paranormal researcher by trade, and more recently, a spell-caster by vocation. I have an affinity for spells involving ice and cold. I also swing a seriously mean bat and occasionally a sword, so don't think I can't handle it in a brawl.”

She lifted her hand and gestured to where Lewis still stood protectively over Arthur. “These are my husbands. The big guy is Lewis, and we've already established that he's a ghost. Not the rattling chains in the basement type either. He... well, he started out as a vengeance spirit, though he's become more of a protective guardian type, due to circumstances that are way too much to go into right now. He throws a mean fireball and can burn just about anything, fireproofing or not. He also has the usual ghostly talents, vanishing, walking through walls, etcetera.”

Her lips quirked up a notch more. “His snuggle-buddy there is Arthur. He's the tech guy. Made all sorts of ghost-detecting devices from scratch and built his own prosthetic arm. He's hell on wheels with anything mechanical, and while he's not a tank, he won't back down from a fight.”

Vivi turned her attention to the two costumed youths. “I promise, give me a clue to chew on, and I can find out a heck of a lot. So tell me a little about these kwami and miraculous of yours and we'll see what I can pull out of my hat.”

Ladybug took a seat, playing absently with a piece of hotel stationary that had been left on the table. "I'm probably not the best person to tell you about kwami and miraculous. That would be Master Fu. He— he guards the miraculous."

Chat Noir made a soft sound, but when Arthur glanced over at him, he had his lips pressed firmly shut. Arthur could feel his eyebrows trying to climb into his hairline. Some job of guarding the miraculous when there were two barely-even-teenagers battling not only someone who had one, but his monsters of the week too. Behind him, Lewis radiated anger again and Arthur knew Vivi was holding onto her professional smile tooth and nail.

"And what does he do to guard them?" Vivi asked, trying to hide how pointed a question it was. "And believe me, we'd like to talk to him too."

Ladybug bit her bottom lip. "I don't know everything, I just know he protects the rest of the miraculous. They're all hidden in a box that only he knows how to open... I think it keeps Hawkmoth from finding them."

Arthur folded his arm across his chest. "And what is he doing to teach you about what you need to know? What kind of training?" He had a sneaking feeling what the answer was, given how hesitantly Ladybug admitted how little she knew.

Chat Noir put his hand on Ladybug's shoulder and answered for her. "Not much of anything," he admitted with a tight smile that was about the farthest thing from real. "It was— kind of an urgent matter that we deal with Hawkmoth. And like Ladybug said, her miraculous is the only one that can purify his Akuma."

Arthur was pretty sure Chat was leaving out a lot, to judge by his expression. "And he hasn't given you more training since then?" Arthur asked quietly, already knowing in his heart what the answer was.

The silence from the two was telling. Ladybug’s shoulders were hunched up and Chat Noir’s ears were flattened.

"Then wouldn't it make more sense to have her trained to top form? To know everything she can do inside and out? To have a partner that can do the same?" Holding Arthur was the only thing stopping Lewis from crossing his arms. Arthur could feel the aborted movement to do just that.

"I mean, I totally agree a guy who can do custom possessions on demand is a number one top priority." Arthur added. "But because of that, those fighting him need to have every advantage at their disposal. I mean, a flame guardian, ice adept, and mechanic aren't bad advantages, but if there's more you could have, you should."

Ladybug was pensive and near to chewing her bottom lip to tatters. “I— it doesn’t feel right to confront Master Fu. He gave us our miraculouses and he helped Tikki when she was sick.”

Chat shifted position in his chair, his expression still pinched. “I’m not sure confronting him is the right word, Milady. It seems to me they have a really good point about us being rather unprepared for this. And we could use all the advantages we can get.”

Ladybug sighed, a thin whisper of defeated sound. “I— we’ll take you to see him, but it’ll have to be late evening, we— we have other— obligations during the day.”

School was the word she wasn’t saying but it was pretty clear to Arthur that was what she meant.

“We’ll meet you at the park across the street at—”

“No earlier than eight, Milady,” Chat interrupted her. “I’m stuck with— things— until then.”

“Make it eight-thirty,” she amended.

Vivi stuck out her hand. “Deal, we’ll be waiting for you then.”

Reluctantly, Ladybug shook it and pushed herself up from the table. “We should get going then. I have to be up early in the morning.”

Chat Noir also rose and swept a charming bow in Vivi’s direction. “Until then.” He followed Ladybug out to the balcony.

Behind Arthur, Lewis made a soft sound and Arthur turned to see him holding two tiny Deadbeats in one hand. “Follow them,” he whispered to them. “Keep them safe and warn us the moment anything bad happens. And stay invisible.”

The two Beats nodded and vanished.

Lewis caught Arthur’s look and shrugged. “They need someone to keep an eye on them.”

#mystery skulls animated #MSA #miraculous ladybug #miraculous: tales of ladybug and chat noir #an AU/Crossover fic #fanfiction #arthur kingsmen #lewis pepper #vivi yukino #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #*crosses fingers and hides*

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