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shoichee · 4 years

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Hey! I read your Kise imagine recently and I adore it, it's rare to see someone write about manga!kise and I really loved it. Furthermore your writing is so so good to read 🥰 I wanted to ask you Kise x reader prompt 1! I would really like to read about him in such a situation ☺ Thank you Iain advance 😘

WAHHH TYSM ANON <33 IM SO HAPPY HEHE, and phew yall thought asshole kise was something but... have yall heard of TEIKO-era asshole kise??! NO?? dw, bc he’s debuting here // i wanted to really showcase his dual sides through more of dialogue (so we won’t really see what’s in Kise’s mind for this), so here it is hope you enjoy this anon!

Kise x Reader

Prompt: “We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”

Word Count: 2120

prompt list here

»»—————　☼　—————««

“We’re not just friends and you fucking know it, Kise.”

“Huh?” he mocks with a condescending tone. “I didn’t peg you as someone who’d pull shit out of their ass like my last ‘ex-girlfriend.’ Just because I let you hang around me doesn’t mean you can parade around campus with an inflated ego.”

Your hands shake furiously at your sides, trying not to punch the basketball player square in the face.

“Me? With an ego? Look who’s damn talking!” you seethe. “I’m tired of the fact that we keep playing this stupid flirting game for months, only for it to go absolutely nowhere!”

“Have you ever stopped to use your brain and think about how flirting inherently is done in good casual fun?” Kise explains slowly, implying that you were the immature one in the situation. “Meanwhile, you have the audacity to get mad at me when you’re the one who’s using me for your own selfish gain!” Kise sends a heated glare but his eyes were tinged with betrayal.

“What the hell are you even talking about? Are you out of your mind?”

“Fuck this,” he scoffs, throwing his hands up in mock surrender. “I’m leaving, I’m not dealing with this shit anymore. If you want attention, I’m not gonna entertain you anymore.”

“No, you will not leave!” you yell, trying to stop Kise in his tracks. He merely ignores you as he holds up a hand to do a wave with his back to you. “You’re going to explain what the hell you were talking about!”

You sprinted and held onto his sleeve to tug him back to face you, only to be met by the most bone-chilling gaze from him. You would’ve absolutely cowered in his presence if it wasn’t for the fact that you were irrationally angry from the false accusations Kise threw at you prior. You can definitely tell that Kise was biting his inner cheek to keep himself reasonably calm.

“Ryōta,” you say.

“Don’t call me by my first name anymore,” he says flatly.

“Where did you get the idea that I was using you?”

“Hah! Why? Does it matter? Are you gonna go to them and try to threaten them after? It’s so clear from the way you’re talking right now that you only see me as a prize to show off.” You inhale a huge breath to stop yourself from saying something you’ll regret.

“I never saw you as some object, Ryōta,” you mildly scoff. “Let me make myself clear. All I wanted was a clear answer from you every time I asked you if you wanted something serious, but every single damn time, you changed the subject or never answered the question!”

“It’s all done in good fun. Does it really need to be serious?”

“But I want something serious with you!”

Kise merely turns away in silence, but you can see his body slightly tremble.

“... Ryōta?”

“Don’t lie to me like that…” he says, slightly sucking a breath. “... Look, if you really wanna use me to boost your popularity, just… just come clean, okay? I’ll go along with it if you tell me now. After all, we’ve been… good friends.”

“Lie? Why would I lie? I never thought once of using you or having any motives other than to get to know you personally as a friend, Ryōta,” you say, looking down on the grip you had on his sleeve still.

“What reason is there to know someone like this other than to activate a ticking time bomb while playing a game to pass that time? Isn’t that how it’s always been? Isn’t that what we are right now?”

Your senses tell you that something deeper beyond this surface argument has been troubling him. You slowly let go of his sleeve, before turning away with a sigh, leaving Kise absolutely confused.

“I think we both need to cool our heads,” you sigh. “We’ve both said too much, and… just… forget what I said, okay? And I’ll forget about what you told me.” Kise’s eyes widen at your statement.

“(y/n)-cchi…?”

“We can still do light-hearted banter like we always do the next time we see each other, okay Kise?” Your fists on your sides tremble before you hold up your head to give him a cheerful smile that’s eerily all too familiar to his own. You turn to walk away, but his heart squeezes painfully at the sight of your back to him like this. You’re so far from him. So far.

“Hold it, now…” he says, slightly sprinting to catch up to you. He grabs your hand, still balled tightly by your side. “You’re cruel, you know that? Demanding me not to leave but then leaving the conversation on your own accord? You’re a hypocrite.” He spins you around to see your eyes barely struggling to hold back fresh tears. Little did he know that your countenance was a mirror to his own.

“... Our heads aren’t in the right place, Kise. You should probably let go.”

“I probably should, huh…” he says, but still giving no sign that he was actually going through with it.

“Knowing you, you’d really hold my fist until someone has to actually separate you from me.”

“And knowing you, you’d probably punch me before anyone else had the chance to do so.”

“You know me so well, hm?” you muse, a tiny curl of your lip a different world than the one you gave moments before.

“... No,” he says with a slight frown. “I don’t think I know you well enough.”

“I don’t know you enough either, Kise.”

Silence falls between the two of you, frail as thin ice, before you eventually break it.

“... You’re right, this whole friendship we have right now… it’s a time bomb. It’s bound to fail and fall apart.”

“W-Wait,” Kise slightly says in shock. “That was… I didn’t mean it like—”

“No healthy relationship of any kind would last if we keep dancing around each other like this. I wanna be honest with you for once… I… don’t wanna do this banter anymore. I don’t wanna do these flirting games. I’m kinda tired of it. Especially when you always keep me at a distance.”

“Pfft, (y/n)-cchi,” he snorts loudly, flashing his sunny smile. “I’m practically so close to you holding your hand!”

“You know exactly what I mean,” you sigh, and you avert your gaze away. “You feel so far. I just… you feel so out of reach even when I’m in the same room as you… even as of now. I just want to know where we’ll end up.”

You firmly shake his grip off you, watching his hand falling back to his side as he does nothing but stare at you. You don’t know if he’s angry, offended, or shocked, but whatever his expression was, you couldn’t tell, not when you still stared at the concrete to the side rather than at him.

“Of course I wanna be friends with you,” you continue. “But can you blame me for believing that there’s something more between us when we do romantic gestures and flirting for months on end? If we’re just going to be friends, that’s fine, but I’d prefer if you’d also stop addressing me with -cchi, just to draw a clear boundary between us.” You finally look up to see Kise, but to your own shock, he looks quite bitter.

“You say that you’re confused about what we are, but then you go prattle to everyone else that you’re my significant other when we haven’t even talked a single thing about being a serious thing. You’re so fucking confusing.”

“I… did no such thing?” Your eyes, still puffy from the tear ducts, shine in genuine bewilderment.

“You… didn’t?”

“Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“I… um… oh…” All he could do was to stand there completely stupefied, mouth gaping as multiple realizations suddenly hit him like bricks. He rubs his neck as he shamefully looks away.

“So tell me,” you slowly say, giving him a more bone-chilling gaze than the one he gave you. “What exactly have you been hearing in the hallways?” You both stand there in silence again as Kise struggles to think of a way to explain it without sounding completely dumb.

“Okay, look… I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have listened to the rumors so easily, especially since I despise them too, but… they were about you, and I just couldn’t help myself…” he mumbles. “I don’t know, I… the thought of you getting close to me to use me really, really hurts.”

“And you thought just cutting me off on the spot was the most reasonable decision you can think of?”

“H-Hey…! Don’t put it like that! I thought I knew you well, but when I heard what people gossiped, my mind just went somewhere, and I thought maybe I misread you at some point. If you really did have ulterior motives, cutting you off wouldn’t be as easy as that other girl. Because I… w-wait! Where are you going?!”

“Home, Kise,” you flatly say. “It’s after school after all.”

“At least hear what I have to say!” He tries to catch up with you, but you only speed walk to outpace him. “Let me explain myself!”

“Hypocrite~” you say, using Kise’s mocking voice. “I don’t recall you letting me explain myself in the beginning.”

“(y/n)-cchi, I’m sorry! I’ll pay for all the outings we’ll do this week! And um… I’ll always talk to you if something’s bothering me—don’t ignore me!”

“Didn’t I tell you not to use -cchi?” you sigh, stopping abruptly, causing Kise to accidentally bump against you. “I’ll forgive you, but we’re still only friends. I guess I’ll apologize for assuming things on my end, too.” Kise drops his head on your shoulder from behind, and you only roll your eyes in amusement at the familiar contact. “Oh dear, Kise. I didn’t think you were the type to be so clingy after a fight.”

“Okay, I’ll ‘fess up,” he says, voice muffled by your uniform blazer. “Even though we’ve always gotten along so well, there’s always been a part of me who’s been on the lookout for any possible signs that you only saw me for my reputation. While I enjoyed having you around, I had always been ready to cut you off if I saw anything suspicious, but… lately the thought of letting you go ached so much… and then I heard what the other students were talking about… how you were acting the entire time… how you somehow screwed over other people before… couldn’t really think properly after that.”

“Boo hoo,” you huff. “Do you want a kiss to make you feel better?”

“... I actually do.”

“I think our heads haven’t completely cooled down. I’m going ahead.” You were about to walk away, even though you very much enjoyed his head on your shoulder, but his arms wrap around you to stop moving any further from his side.

“You said that you wrongly assumed what we were…” he whispers. “But you’re actually right. We’ve been more than friends for a while without me really acknowledging it,” he chuckles at your groan, “I guess you really do know me well… I’m really attached to you… but it’s not fair that you’re so collected even when I’m hugging you like this.”

“Kise, you’re an idiot, do you know that?” you snort. “How are you hugging me but not noticing how fast my heart is beating?”

“H-Hey! Can you call me by my first name again? I said it without really thinking, okay? It hurts me every time you do that.” He gives the most comical pout, but you only punch the top of his head on your shoulder before walking ahead.

“I’m still mad at you. I’m going home.”

“(y/n)-cchi, w-wait! Let me walk you home, then!”

“Don’t call me that either. I’m still mad at you.”

“But aren’t we dating now? I can call you that if we’re a thing.”

“But I’m still mad. You still said all those horrible things, and that stung. You think you’re the only one hurting right now?”

“I’m really, really sorry! I’ll make it up to you, and I won’t say anything like that again, and…”

“You’re not being really convincing.”

“I know I was being immature and the one with the inflated ego, and I said things that aren’t remotely true—”

You sigh before you turn back to a panicking Kise behind you.

“Then you better make it up to me by cuddling me and telling me some sweet nothings, because I can really use that right now, Ryōta.”

#knb x reader #knb #knb fic #knb fics #knb scenarios #kise x reader #kise ryota #kise ryota x reader #kise ryouta #teiko middle school #teiko #knb teiko #manga kise

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fandom-geek · 4 years

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My interpretation may be wrong. But Astarion says he hates playing the hero, so I selected the option to suck it up and enjoy himself. He says he cannot, for the wine tastes of vinegar. So I selected the option to steal a drink of his bottle. It is described as a rich, dry red - ergo, not vinegar. Is it because of the vampirism? Because of the gene that let's you taste tannins? Has he ever known good wine from bad? Regardless, it is a comforting lie, and an easy segue for him, if the wine is bad, then you can make your own fun. But the wine isn't bad, and he doesn't hate being the hero, but hell's forbid he be vulnerable. It's too soon for him to know himself, and he's not ready to let you know him. I hope this ask doesn't offend you! :) I'm excited to know more about him to see if I'm right or projecting before writing more fic.

ok so first off, this is all just my opinion so don’t feel like you need to change your interpretation based off it! half the fun of fanfic is seeing how ppl can interpret the same character in different ways, and either way i’d love to give yours a read when you’re done!!

and alright i’ll admit i’m not a drinker, so when my pc took a swig and got that description, i just kinda nodded and went “that sounds like uh. wine, alright”. but the stuff about tannins and wine tasting (which was super interesting to google) is pretty interesting

now that i know that’s apparently a Good Wine taste, i think astarion’s probably being a bit whiny for the sake of it. checking his dialogue in the goblin party version, there’s a youtube video where the player picks red wine as their wine of choice, and he thinks it’s a good choice?? so it’s not like he dislikes red wine in general, maybe just his sulky attitude ruining his drink somewhat

and in terms of him not hating being the hero. i’m still honestly trying to formulate my exact opinions on astarion and his relationship with acting in “heroic” ways, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he is genuinely uncomfortable with ppl thanking him for helping. not just because it risks potentially drawing cazador’s attention when the man is already sending monster hunters after him, but also bc he’s spent the past 200 years practically alone in utter misery.

there’s also an element that he seems to generally disapprove of acting the hero, and i’ve seen a few ppl theorise it’s bc he was suffering on his own for so long. in a sort of “well if i had to deal with that shit on my own, why should they be helped?”. and it makes sense, especially since he’s clearly traumatised but too much in survival mode to acknowledge it, and i agree it makes up part of his reasoning. i just don’t think it necessarily makes up the majority of it?

like in general i do think his disapproval is somewhat more pragmatic - after all, disapproving of telling mayrina her brothers are dead isn’t really in line with either his “shits and giggles” or “let’s do violent shit for the hell of it” motives he mainly acts on. then again, i haven’t got any dialogue for him to explain why he disapproves of that, but it’s not a decision i thought he would’ve cared enough about to disapprove of.

so i think it’s entirely possible that he might get more comfortable with the whole heroism, especially since there’s a few voice lines suggesting as much, but i’m not entirely sure if that ties into his dislike of vulnerability for me. i mean, he clearly does dislike being vulnerable (such as a pc trying to squeeze his shoulder in comfort), but those instances could also tie into how the main touch he’s probably known since turning has either been cazador forcing him to hurt himself or cazador himself touching him.

either way, i’m still trying to kinda puzzle out astarion because, while i don’t think larian is really using alignment much at all, he seems to kinda linger in this grey space between chaotic evil and chaotic neutral that can be quite hard to pinpoint. which is pretty fitting given the whole vampire thing, really.

#bg3 spoilers #astarion #really appreciated the ask anon #just imagine me kinda frowning at astarion going 'wtf' because honestly that's what i've been doing since i bought the game #like his dis/approval stuff makes sense in the sort of way when you *know* you're missing context #which possibly ties into why he's so damn determined to keep his hands on that necromancy tome?#and apparently learns speak with the dead from it so if that's true #i'm sure it ties into whatever it is we're missing from his background #Anonymous #baldur's gate

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wanderinglotus7 · 4 years

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The Legacy Continues

Well, I made it! I made it. There are three days left of 2020 until we roll into 2021. This year has been a game changer. Game changer doesn’t seen correct...life altering sounds better. My life drastically changed within the past month. Though these events threw me off my game, I recovered and bounced back even stronger. This speaks to my tremendous strength in the Lord & within myself. I continue to tell myself that the fortune teller I spoke with summer 2019 has been spot on y’all. August 2020 to now, adjust to my new life has been challenging, but I don’t regret my decision moving to Massachusetts. This decision is part of the life-course God has plan for me.

Yes, I miss my family. However, my experiences of attending Bridgewater College and traveling to Thailand has prepared me for this moment in my life. Because of covid I haven’t really been active in my new environment, but I try to take advantage of the opportunities I do have to explore my surroundings. Last week I took a nice walk and ended up exploring another part of Newton and almost ended up in the inner city of Boston (I think I walked about 8 miles in total). I took another walk into town and walked into HomeGoods on my way to Starbucks. Leaving and returning to Boston, I took the train and was able to get myself to and from the Logan airport. Small victories in my book! I am in no rush to try to experience everything all at once. I have around 4 to 5 years to embrace Boston as my new home. I already feel like it is anyway. This is my true testimony to see if I can really be responsible for myself. So far, I feel confident in achieving/excelling in this area of my life. My upbringing has prepared me, yet again, for the challenges of [young] adulthood.

I am getting ahead of myself. I have to rewind a bit give y’all an update. December 18th was the last day of classes and finals week. I have successfully finished my first semester of grad school!!! YEAH ME!!!!! I’m telling you the hard work paid off. I did have my moments of doubt and feelings of not being good enough. I was overwhelmed. I felt like I was drowning trying to balance school, work, and my internship. On top of that, I am trying to balance a relationship along with working on my mental health. My mind & body is always on the go. No time for rest...actually there are moments of rest, but I chose not to rest instead. I have a bad habit of pushing through and bulldozing my way through my life. I don’t take the necessary time to be present and focus on what is in front of me. Sometimes, I get too focused on the future and forget to enjoy the present. I have been in this mode since mid October to the 18th. Midterms kicked me in the ass because that was around the same time I began working at chipotle. Even before Chipotle, I was falling behind on the readings and assignments for my classes. On the other hand, my internship with Amirah is not a stressor in my life because it is an experience that I am passionate about. I’m not bothered having to wake up early and end my days late when it comes to my internship because I am that committed. Being overwhelmed and stressed I passed all my midterms with good grades (all As and one B)! Then the unexpected happened...

October 29th at 11:18pm, I received a phone call from my mother informing me that my Grandmother Shirley unexpected passed away. I think they determined her cause of death was because of a heart attack. I’m not sure. Honestly, I don’t think I really want to know. I’m hoping she passed away peaceful. The news sent me into shock. I just couldn’t believe it. I still can’t believe it. I just had a conversation with that previous Thursday or Saturday, and the conversation went so well. She was so proud of me. She was excited for me to be home for Christmas and all these other things. It’s not the same, but at least we were able to say “I love you” before she passed. Who would’ve known that would be the last time I will ever speak to her again. And this had to happen around the holidays and around the same time that Laura Mae (my great grandmother passed away). In less than three weeks, I received a phone call and text early in the morning from my Grandma Louise and my dad telling me that my granddaddy unexpectedly passed away too. Two grandparents removed from my life at the snap of the finger.

With help from my family, I was able to fly to Virginia for both funeral services. This time I said my final good-byes unlike with Laura Mae. I didn’t want to live with that guilt. Everyone has been very compassionate, understanding, and accommodating to my situation and has given me time to grieve & heal especially regarding BC, Amirah, & Chipotle. I missed a few classes and had to receive a few extensions on a couple of assignments. I pulled through the best way I could manage in my emotional state. My emotional state didn’t get any better dealing with my relationship during this time. Some of my boyfriend’s recent decisions added more unnecessary stress in my life. I was already stressed about me introducing him to my entire family because the timeline got rushed and I wasn’t for sure if I wanted him around while I’m going through a mental & emotional meltdown. At the end of the day, he wanted to be there for me to provide his live and support and I wasn’t going to deny him of doing so. It would’ve been selfish of me to tell him “No”. Everything happens for a reason. Instead of spending maybe two weeks together, my boyfriend and I spent basically all of November together bouncing between Gloucester and Woodstock. It sucked that it had to be under sad circumstances.

Decisions, decisions, decisions that is where my mind was at. Only a few individuals gave me the needed space to focus & process my emotions. From all angles I was being pressured to make some permanent decisions in which my mind was not in the right mind frame to be thinking. I did reach out and have been receiving counseling services from the university which has been helpful. I am in the process of searching for a therapist outside of the university for long-term treatment. Though I tell myself sometimes I feel like quitting, I decided to remain a full time student, declared my concentration, and completed my field placement application for 2021-2022 academic year. I’m on tract to graduating Spring 2022. Being blessed again, I was able to receive extensions on two of my finals and on my field placement assignments. I passed all my finals! I received all As and one B+. I ended the semester with a 3.6 GPA. Not too shabby (lol). I know my grandparents are very proud of me.

I’m proud of myself! I didn’t surrender and take the easy way out. I turned 24 on the 7th which is another milestone in my life. I was shown much love that exceeded my expectations. I spent the Christmas alone, but I made the best out of my situation & was still able to connect with my loved ones. Since the 18th I devoted my downtime, and overall winter break taking better care of myself. The last week I was home, I noticed that I’ve been severely neglecting myself and it was heavily damaging my well-being. I’m growing in setting and maintaining my boundaries, learning to be present with emotions & resting, being okay with saying “no” and not feeling guilty about it. The most important lesson is not overworking myself in every aspect of my life. I am no good to myself or others if I am completely burnt out.

I am praying that 2021 isn’t a continuation of this year. Yet, 2020 has not been all too horrible. I have been able to grow in so many ways that I am becoming a better individual. Most important, I’m continuing to learn how to be a better person for myself!

#personalgrowth

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luobingmeis · 5 years

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fukc,,,, talking about lucretia reminded me of how much i love her afionavaw. you said that you have thoughts about the order of the seven birds forgiving her? you don't have to elaborate it rn but what order do you think it it? i think magnus or merle would be one of the first ones to forgive her, then lup and barry, and davenport and taako would be the later ones. also sorry im bombarding you with questions alfwbgkh

@marblesaremyfavoriterock asked: I’m loving this discussion u and anon are having abt Lucretia and forgiveness!! In the post abt Lup u said you’ve put a bunch of thought into how each of the birds come to forgive Lucretia and how long that takes and I’d love to hear ur thoughts on that stuff if you want to talk abt it!!!

(disclaimer: i am speaking for myself and only myself and i get that not everyone might agree with what i think, and obvi that’s fine, but i’m not here to start fights/angry discussions)

my entire blog is actually just a secret campaign to get everyone to love lucretia adventurezone

but!!! about the other birds!!!!! i have put so much thought into this so first let me just put everything in the order of which i think forgiveness happens

merle/lup (during s&s)

magnus (during s&s)/davenport (shortly after s&s)

barry (a while after s&s)

taako (a while after s&s)

and now, my explanations:

merle: from the get-go of s&s, we see that merle never treats lucretia with animosity. while taako and magnus are pointing their weapons at her, merle is constantly asking what they’re doing and trying to get them to put their weapons down. also, canonically, i think it’s safe to say that merle doesn’t hold much of a grudge. he appears to like kravitz, even though kravitz almost killed him and had probably some hand (pun intended) in merle’s loss of faith for a little bit. he also greeted john warmly and kindly, even though their last interaction involved merle telling john to “kiss my ass, you sanctimonious bastard.” also, though, maybe it’s just me, but i saw merle and lucretia as two very good friends. in stolen century, he constantly encouraged her and was the one to tell her that she should consider taking on a more leaderlike role. in the bureau, he admired the faith she had in herself. so, i think he would forgive lucretia first because, honestly? that’s just how merle is. not only does he admire lucretia and see her as a good friend, but it’s just in his nature. also, important to note, merle obviously loves his kids, and without lucretia, he wouldn’t have his kids. so, w/ the prior friendship he had with lucretia/madame director, his personality, and what he got after the voidfishing, i think he was always in a state of forgiving lucretia.

lup: see this post

magnus: magnus is actually interesting in my opinion because, if it wasn’t for the fact that he found happiness in raven’s roost, i think he would be a lot less inclined to forgive lucretia. during stolen century, magnus learned how to ask for help and really became “the protector” during those one hundred years. he gained a family, and a dear pet, that he swore he would protect. however, this was lost after the voidfishing. he still wanted to protect but he didn’t exactly know who, or what. factor in the fact that he was the first one to start distrusting the director, plus the fact that he was getting very close with the voidfish, who didn’t seem to know how to answer any of his questions about the director, and all of that would add up to a rocky forgiveness of lucretia. except, now we have to consider two things. one being the fact that travis said it’s canon that magnus saw how hard of a decision lucretia had to make and, because of that, magnus doesn’t hold a lot of malice against her. the second thing that i think we need to consider is raven’s roost. after stolen century, i think we can say that magnus got the “happiest voidfishing,” in a way. he had raven’s roost, a stable job. he lead a city through a revolution that they all believed to be a success. he found the love of his life. it is canon that those years in raven’s roost were some of the happiest years magnus has ever experienced. if magnus didn’t have raven’s roost, didn’t at one point have julia, i think it would’ve been a lot harder for him to forgive her, bc what would he have had? he would’ve lost his friends, and who’s to say what life he would’ve made outside of raven’s roost. but, because lucretia was technically responsible for him going to raven’s roost and eventually finding julia (and stephen), i think that also factors into his forgiveness of her (plus the canonical stuff travis said, which i am 100% here for).

davenport: i firmly think that davenport forgives lucretia fairly quickly after s&s. now, you might be saying, “jordyn, what the actual fuck,” and don’t worry, i said the same thing to myself. but play with me in this space, give me a chance. i would put lucretia at lawful good, or at least in the “good” category between lawful/neutral. davenport, i think, falls kinda more around true lawful/true neutral. and this, i think, would factor into his forgiveness of lucretia. in stolen century, i think we saw early on that davenport is a very “means to the end” type of guy. he was the one who suggested destroying the crystal on the robot planet. he suggested blowing up the sacred mountain of the conservatory. by cycle 66, he was angry and tired. in cycle, what, 92? when they voted on the relics? davenport didn’t actually vote! he never expressed his opinion on the matter. he let the majority decide because, with whatever they chose, he would go along with it as long as they could see an end to their journey. then, during s&s, he was the one to suggest leaving. he was the one to suggest killing the voidfish. throughout seeing his actual character, and not just voidfished davenport, we see him constantly pushing towards the gruesome, though some might say “easy way out,” decisions. bc that’s who he is. destroy the crystal bc, even if it hurts people now, it will stop the hunger later. destroy the mountain bc, even if it sucks for this world, we can use the light to save other ones. make a decision between relics and a barrier because, even though we don’t know the results now, it could help later. leave this world, people are gonna die now, but we can try again next cycle. kill the voidfish, because then everyone can fight back. see? very “means to an end.” so, now, how does this factor into forgiveness? w/ the other birds’ forgiveness, it’s hinged on a much more emotional/social level. merle forgives bc it’s in his nature. magnus forgives bc of the bonds he has formed. davenport, though? it’s all… pragmatic, professional, almost? i think he would look at lucretia, at what she had done, and then at the fact that they saved the world, and would think, “well, she did what she had to, because without that, we wouldn’t have saved this world.” i don’t think he enjoyed being turned into just his name, and i still think he and lucretia need to talk, but i think, looking at the results of everything, he kinda sees it as “X had to happen so that Y could.” now, his forgiveness does hinge on saving the world. say they ran to a different plane? i don’t know if davenport would have forgiven her as easily, because then their failure would just look like a halt in their journey. but because they won? i think he would forgive lucretia because, well, they won. they finally got a happy ending and, after looking at all the decisions davenport tried to make, i think it’s safe to say that he understands having to make hard decisions.

barry: barry, like magnus, is complicated, i think. i think he has more notches in the “not forgiving lucretia for a while” category than not. why? similarly to taako, because of lup. except, instead of taako not knowing who lup was until the end, for barry it’s because he knew. when he was a lich, he 1) figured out what lucretia was doing and 2) figured out that lup had been voidfished. he found out that lucretia had made this organization w/ an inherent distrust of magic items and powerful magic users, he found out that lup had been voidfished entirely, and, most of all? lucretia was now actively working against him. i do not subscribe to the idea of lucretia being a villain, but in barry’s eyes, i think she was, just like barry might have been closer to an antagonist in lucretia’s eyes bc he was trying to undo her plan. so, i think barry takes a while to forgive lucretia bc 1) he lost lup, and knew he would forget lup once again once he was “alive” again, 2) lucretia knew he was out there and was now making her organization a place where he could never be, and 3) his friends were now actively working against him bc of the structure of the bureau. i think a huge part of the reason for barry and taako’s reluctance to forgive is so closely hinged on lup (well, for taako, that’s canonical) because i think it’s also important to remember that lup never forgot. sure, she was forgotten, which sucks a whole lot obvi, but she never had to forget her love and her brother. so i think that’s where a sort of rift happens bc taako and barry had to deal with forgetting lup, while lup never forgot them, and though that might be a post in itself if i could think of the right way to word it, i think that also factors into forgiveness a lot. i think, like w/ taako, he and lucretia also have a discussion, except i think that one might be a lot more emotionally charged bc these two were actively working against each other for a time. but i do think that they eventually reach reconciliation and perhaps do actually consider each other friends again.

taako: taako in itself is complicated just bc of how so many people are divided on it, but i think taako’s general rate of forgiveness (and lack thereof for a time) is self explanatory, but i gave my two cents here if you’re interested. tbh, the taako&lucretia situation would be much better told if i actually just wrote a fic on it, bc i feel like my thoughts could be much better expressed in prose than me trying to word my headcanons in a way that people could understand exactly what i have in my head. however, if pressed and given some time to answer and sort out my thoughts in a completely different post, i could probably try to write out all my thoughts on taako&lucretia post-s&s.

#answered #i saw seven birds #Anonymous #//#/////#taz balance

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canimal · 5 years

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I wanted to write a time travel fanfic and about Evan Rosier/Hermione Granger as a main pairing but... I'm stuck. I didn't choose the most redeemable character (Rosier was killed by Moody after a magical fight) and it's complicated bc how Hermione can fall in love with someone like Evan no matter how charming and smart he is ? How did you deal with that (Hermione, Death Eater and their ideology) ? All I can see is something like Jaime/Brienne (GoT) and a very slow burn. But it still feel wrong.

(Please bear with me as this is going to be a super long response. I’ll put it underneath the cut so those who want to read it can read it and those who want to scroll past it can do so quickly.)

To be perfectly honest, if a story feels “wrong”, you shouldn’t be writing it. Trying to force something that you don’t feel comfortable writing and don't fully believe in will not only make for a story that feels forced and unnatural to the reader, but it will also become a story that you will not enjoy writing. (Never forget that this is our hobby, not our job.). Eventually, you would likely hit a wall where the story was unable to progress further and you’d be stuck. Lots of writers try to write a story with certain elements or pairings that are “trendy” and end up stuck because they forced a story. Writing should flow fairly smoothly. I’m not saying that writers should never stumble or feel blocked, but I am saying that if you’re not allowing a story to remain organic and grow naturally, you will find you quality and likely your own enthusiasm and enjoyment in writing the story suffer.

Why do you want to write a story with Evan Rosier? Is it because you find his character fascinating or you want to uncover more about him? Or is it because he’s not a character that’s written about a lot and you’re hoping to stand out in a growing sea of Death Eater stories?

I promise I’m not trying to be rude or condescending, even if it seems like it. This is an honest question. If your answer is on the first couple, awesome. Go for it.

But, if you’re hoping writing about him will get you instant recognition and a large number of followers on your story immediately, I’m sorry to tell you that that probably won’t happen. Most readers don’t want to take a chance on unknown characters. They just don’t. I’ve mentioned this many times, but when I first started writing Thorfinn Rowle as more than just a one-dimensional bad guy in the background in first, The Dark Mage’s Captive and then Parolee and His Princess, I frequently got PMs and reviews asking me who the fuck Thorfinn Rowle even was and that I might actually get more people to read my stories if I didn’t write such weird pairings. 🙄 (Let’s not forget the troll who commented “This should’ve been a Dramione” on literally every single chapter at least twice. Sigh.) So it’s both amusing and incredibly frustrating to have readers in the fandom announce that Thormione is their OTP when most of them wouldn’t have given my stories the time of day when I was writing them and they were the ONLY Thorfinn stories in existence on FFN for certain and probably everywhere else. Because so few people were interested in reading a story with Thorfinn as the main love interest when I was actually writing Parolee and His Princess, if I was only writing the story in an attempt to stand out and not because that was the story I wanted to write, then I likely would’ve gotten frustrated and quit before I ever finished.

So, if you’re serious about writing an Evan Rosier story because it’s what you want to write, I wish you the best of luck. It’s always challenging to write a character with little to no background info in canon. Challenging can also be a great deal of fun. If we never challenge ourselves as writers, we won’t ever get any better. Writers must be willing to learn and try new things if they want to get better. Practice is crucial. Too many writers (professional and otherwise) get to a place where they don’t believe they need to improve and their writing gets stagnant. It’s sad.

Now to your question about how or why Hermione might fall in love with someone with such a different and dangerous ideology... there are many different ways this can be tackled. I must stress thought that you make sure the decision you make makes sense within your story. Don’t try to force something. Let it grow naturally.

First of all, I don’t believe anyone is unredeemable. (Or irredeemable. Same meaning, right?) Perhaps it’s because of my own personal faith and religious beliefs, but I don’t believe anyone is wholly evil or wholly good. Yes, even in this hyper-partisan world we now live in, I don’t believe that anyone (even those who might disagree with me) are pure evil. This has actually gotten me a lot of grief from angry trolls and super sensitive former readers alike. I’ve been accused of being an “apologist” for all manner of depravity including, but not limited to, rape, violence, murder, racism, all the bad things ever, etc. simply because I believe that no is unredeemable... irredeemable. Ugh, whatever. You know what I mean.

Everyone has good qualities in them, even those who appear to be nothing but evil. Far fewer good qualities than most certainly, but still there. I’m also a firm believer that people, even really bad people, can have an existential change of heart and want to be a better person. Many just have to be given the opportunity to change. Of course, I don’t believe that they shouldn’t be punished for their crimes or they should be excused just because there’s something good about them. I’ll never understand why I’ve been accused of being an apologist. 🙄 Some people are truly exhausting.

For every story about a Death Eater falling for Hermione, there’s a different explanation. If you’ve ready any, you’re probably already familiar. Because I try very hard to make every story I write unique from the others I’ve already written, I’ve mixed it up. Antonin only joined for knowledge and power without realizing until too late what was really happening. Rodolphus was pressured by his wife in one and his grief and depression made him fall further in than he meant to. Sometimes the Death Eater was pressured by family to follow in their footsteps; others by their peers. There are countless reasons why people join these kinds of groups. Disillusionment, looking for a place to belong... you really could make it anything. I’ve known people who were drawn in and brainwashed by cults because they were desperate for purpose, for belonging, for a feeling like their life actually mattered. It can be super easy to get sucked into a cult and takes years to get out... if you can.

JKR wrote the Death Eaters as being simply bad for bad’s sake. They’re almost all one-dimensional. No person is actually one-dimensional. They have hopes and fears and dreams just like everyone else. Maybe they thought they believed in the sort of pro-Pureblood world that Voldemort imagined, but once they got in they were in over their head. Reality rarely meets our expectations. People grow and change. Even my own beliefs have changed as I’ve grown older. What I used to think was important no longer is and there are issues I have done a complete 180 on as I’ve grown up and begun to live in what I call “grownup reality”. (Life is much different for me than it was even when I was just in my twenties and how I see the world has changed drastically in some instances.). So if experience and time has been able to shape and change my beliefs and even my values to a minute degree, why could the same not be said for a Death Eater who discovered all was not as it seemed when they were recruited?

It’s also important to remember that no one thinks, acts, or believes like everyone in their set group one hundred percent of the time. Each individual has their own thoughts and beliefs. Maybe they joined because they hated Muggles, but then they realized they were wrong to do so. Maybe their family pressured them to join but they didn’t agree. Maybe they were afraid to die so they joined. I know a lovely man whose father died in World War II fighting for the Nazis - not because he was an admirer of Hitler and believed in everything dreadful and evil the Nazi party believed in. No, his father was conscripted into the German Army and fought because he would’ve been arrested in the best case scenario and executed in the worst. His young wife and their two small children could’ve also been in danger had he refused. It’s a terribly sad story. And hardly the only one. That’s just one example. History has countless other incidents all over the world when scared people fought and fell in line with a terrible leader because they had no other choice. Or at least it seemed like they had no other choice. Not everyone is strong and brave enough to stand up to injustice and evil when their lives are on the lines. Humans by our very nature can be quite cowardly at times.

It’s possible that a person who has done evil deeds or believed just absolutely atrocious things could want to change and be a better person. Though it wouldn’t be easy, someone like Hermione could choose to forgive them for their past. Especially if they’re truly remorseful.

Of course, it’s also unfortunately true that there are sometimes relationships that are just absolutely toxic. Love can make idiots of us all. How many women (and men to an extent though not nearly as often) see the potential in a man and want to change them into something good and perfect? It happens so often it’s a cliche. Woman falls in love with bad boy. Wants to change him. Stays with him with hopes and dreams that he’ll stop being so awful. Is disappointed over and over again. Have you ever known someone who fell in love with a truly terrible person and even though their relationship wasn’t healthy whatsoever never seemed to quit them? Kept going back for more even when everyone told them it was a terrible idea? I’m pretty sure you have. You might’ve even been in one of those relationships yourself. I know I was. No, he might not have been a murderous minion of a madman, but he certainly had his terrible qualities that I thought I could help him get past. Tale as old as time.

I could go on and on and on about reasons why Hermione might fall in love with a completely unsuitable man who might even wish her dead, but there’s no reason. It could be for a thousand reasons. And don’t forget, Hermione isn’t exactly some innocent paragon of virtue herself. She’s pretty dark even in canon. Trapping a lady in a jar? Cursing a girl’s face possibly permanently? Leading another witch into a forest knowing there are centaurs in there who are dangerous? And those are just the things that unobservant Harry noticed! Who knows what she was doing off-stage? She has her own darkness and her own demons to fight. She’s not perfect nor is she some pure angelic creature who only uses light magic for good. Nah, she’s pretty twisted at times. (On a side note - Please don’t try to write her as being all-powerful, perfect, and never do anything the least bit bad. That’s not her character at all. It bothers me to see her written as some sort of pearl-clutching virgin who has never done anything bad in her entire life. That’s NOT the Hermione I read in the books.)

You just have to find the right motivation in your own story. If you’re not forcing the story and allowing it to develop naturally, you’ll figure it out. If you’re forcing it, I’m afraid you’re going to stay stuck.

I hope this can be so some help! Sorry I’m rambled on and on and on.

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holidaywishes · 6 years

Text

the on and off thing

Part four: the on and off thing

Summary: You’re back home in BC and finally starting to deal with your breakup when your Mom invites Brendan for dinner when he comes home

Warning: some swearing, angst, some fluff, mention of Car Accident (to be continued)

Author’s Note: I had originally planned for this chapter to have more of the car accident in it but decided to instead move it to its own chapter because I liked the suspense of the ending of this one instead.

masterlist

You had been to every game or at least watched every game. Even though he wasn’t yours anymore, you still wanted to support him; you still loved watching him play. You stayed in Montreal for a few months after the break up because you couldn’t just quit your job and leave but after what happened, after telling him you didn’t love him, the city became dark and lonely.

So, you left. You seemed to be doing that a lot. Leaving. But this was the best thing for both of you. Distance would prove to be the best decision. But it wasn’t easy. Montreal had been your home for four years and every part of it had good memories but so many of those memories belonged to you and Brendan and you just couldn’t look at those parts of the city without seeing him. And leaving those memories behind hurt almost as much as leaving Brendan behind. The Canadiens were on a pretty good streak for a while, only losing one away game, but they ran into some bad luck in the first round of the postseason.

“They lost…” your Mom said as you stared blankly at the T.V. screen

“What?” you asked, shutting it off and walked over to the window

“Montreal, they’re out of the playoffs again,” she answered and you stared out the big bay window in your family room, “that cup seems like an impossible dream at this point huh?”

“The season is over. They’ll get over it. Try again in October…” you said absentmindedly, watching the squirrels chase each other up the tree in your parents front yard.

“You gonna see him?”

“Huh?”

“Gally… when he comes home. Are you going to spend some time with him?”

“No, Mom. I left. I told him I’d give him space…” you sighed, rubbing your temples

“You’ve given each other months of space and you see how well that’s gone for him. And you’re not any better off either…”

“Mom, please. Don’t start this again…”

“I just think you should give him another chance,” You stormed out of the room, intending on hiding out in your room until she let this go but she blocked your path, “he was the best thing that ever happened to you…”

“I’m over this conversation with you, Mom! We broke up. We’re not getting back together. I’m sorry that upsets you so much. I... have to get out of here..”

“(Y/N)! Wait, stop! Come back here” your Mom called after you as you stormed out of the house, your feet starting to quicken their pace without you realizing. You were pissed at your Mom. You hated when she did this. She thought it was fate that the two of you lived two towns apart growing up but only met when you decided to go to a Habs v Canucks game one day; becoming immediately smitten with him. You never expected your Mom to get so invested in the relationship and yet, she seemed to be taking the break up harder than you. You knew she was probably calling him right now, talking about how sorry she was they weren’t in the playoffs this year but that she’d love to see him and he’d say he’d be in BC to see his family soon and he’d love to stop by and you weren’t prepared for it. You began mumbling things to yourself when a text came in from Max

“Why did you say you didn’t love him?”

“Max, I had to. It’s hard to explain…”

“Then it’s not a good enough reason”

“I’m sorry you guys are out of the playoffs but we do not need to be having this conversation…”

“He’s my friend you know. And a good guy, I’m just looking out for him” You raised your eyebrows in disbelief at the words you were reading and you weren’t watching where you were going

“I know it’s hard to believ--” an arm abruptly stopped you, making you drop your phone, but ultimately saving your life

“You should probably watch where you’re going…” the stranger said, an annoyed smile on his face

“I’m so sorry, thank you..” he nodded in appreciation and went on his way. You picked up your phone to find it completely shattered with no sign of you being able to use it again, so you wandered around town for a little before eventually heading home. To no one’s surprise when you got home, your Mom had called Brendan and told him to come visit all of you when he was in town and he happily agreed; you on the other hand, rolled your eyes and tried to come up with an excuse to leave the city before he got there.

A week had passed and you hadn’t heard anymore from Brendan which made you think he wasn’t going to see you but rather meet up with your Mom somewhere. Your Dad talked you into leaving the house with him and going to the arcade and you laughed, agreeing whole heartedly; it had been ages since you had been to the arcade.

“I always win at skee-ball, you ready to make a bet?” he teased

“You’re on!” you joked

“Loser has to buy the winner a beer...”

“Seems pretty tame Dad”

“Okay.. how about loser pays for dinner. For everyone…”

“Okay…? I thought you would’ve said something like, I don’t know, loser runs through the park yelling profanities at the cops,” you laughed but, when you got no reaction from your Dad, you furrowed your brow, “what’s going on?”

“Your Mom is still upset…” he started, eyes still staring strongly out the windshield, “she doesn’t understand the breakup. I mean she understands it but she wishes you would change your mind. You’ve barely said anything to her this last week and she wants this dinner to be a nice one…” You huffed, anger filling your body as you rolled your eyes when it suddenly hit you

“She fucking invited him didn’t she?”

“Yes…”

“God damn it, Dad!”

“Enough with the language, (Y/N)!”

“Why are you agreeing to this? Why are you trying to back me into a corner like she has?”

“We’re not! Your mother just wants you to give Gally a second chance…”

“Stop the car”

“What? No, we’re almost to the arcade”

“Pull the car over, Dad, now!”

“(Y/N), don’t be upset”

“STOP THE GODDAMN CAR!” You shouted and he did as you wished, pulling over to the curb where you got out and started to walk back to your parents house before your Dad cut you off with his truck.

“(Y/N), stop, come back here. Talk to me!” he shouted as you walked around the big, grey vehicle

“Why? So you can just ignore what I say and do whatever the fuck Mom feels is best for me?” you shouted back at him

“Baby, we love you. We hate seeing you in pain..” he tried

“Well you’re gonna have to deal! Brendan and I broke up. It sucks. It hurts. But she can’t just manipulate us back together!!”

“She’s not trying to”

“Are you sure? Because it sure as hell feels like it. Calling, texting him while I’m here, inviting him over and to this stupid family dinner? I needed to not be around him for a while. I lost my freaking apartment, my home, when I lost Brendan. I left my job because I couldn’t stand to be in that city anymore without him by my side! But I come back here to sort out my shit and she brings him up every chance she gets. I get it. He was her favourite. But it’s over…” Tears had started to escape your eyes without you realizing and your Dad walked over to wrap you in a hug

“It’s okay, sweetheart…” he said, rubbing your back as you sobbed

“I miss him everyday, Dad, but we both need just a bit more time. Before we’re stuck in an awkward situation together…”

“You sure you don’t want to get back together with him?”

“I don’t know..” you confessed, “I just don’t really want to do the on and off thing…”

“Maybe 2nd times the charm?” your Dad said, trying to lighten the mood and you pulled away to look at him

“We’ll see I guess..”

The dinner went almost exactly how you expected. You didn’t speak to your Mom much and you shifted in your chair as you watched her watch the door to the restaurant. Then he showed up. And you had forgotten just how handsome and charming he was and it was like you were meeting him for the first time again. Your face was flushed, your breathing was shallow and staying mostly in your chest and you couldn’t stop staring at him. Crap, don’t let Mom see, you thought to yourself, snapping your gaze to your plate.

“So, Brendan.. How are you doing?” your Mom said sympathetically, the way all mother do when they pry

“I’m fine,” he said once he swallowed his bite of steak, “yeah, I mean it sucks we’re not in the playoffs again but there’s always next year…” he caught your eye briefly and you smiled sadly at him, knowing he was putting on a brave face about this like he had been doing for years, “besides, how much of an ego would KK have if we won the cup this early in his career?” everyone at the table laughed except you.

“(Y/N), you’ve hardly touched your food,” your Mom motioned to your plate, causing a scowl to creep over your face, “everything okay?”

“Guess I’m just not very hungry…” you replied

“Well, I think you should eat some. We don’t want to waste any food…” she countered

“I could always just take it to go, Ma”

“Yes, I think that’s a great compromise,” your Dad chimed in, hating the tension, “so, who’s ready for skee-ball?” Since you and your Dad took so much time on your way to meet your Mom, you never actually went to the arcade but instead decided to save it for later, which also meant that Brendan would be joining you. As the four of you walked through the arcade, you noticed Brendan fall back a little and you habitually fell back with him.

“Hey…” you nudged him shyly

“Hey” he said back simply, not even a trace of a smile on his face

“I’m sorry. That you had to come here. I know it’s awkward and weird…” you started, “I know my Mom roped you into it. So, for her sake, thank you for coming…”

“I mean it’s not like I was bummed that I’d get to see you…” You blushed but did your best to change the topic

“How have you been anyway?”

“Fine. Good, I guess. You seeing anyone?”

“Uhm,” you stammered, “no, not seeing anyone. Are you?”

“Nope” he said, popping the ‘P.’ The two of you walked silently for a while before eventually stopping at skee-ball

“Alright, girlie,” your Dad taunted, “ready to get beat?”

“Ready to beat you!” you laughed, teasing your dad before looking back at Brendan quickly to gauge his reaction. The game went on for a few rounds before your Mom got bored enough to take Brendan on a walk through the arcade to ‘find a game that better suited them,’ whatever the hell that meant. Before too long, you and your Dad wrapped up skee-ball and tried to find the two remaining members of your group; whack-a-mole is what they chose, interesting choice…

“Who won?” You heard your Dad say before you could make any quips

“I did, of course” Brendan said triumphantly and you noticed the pout on your Mom’s face; you had to force yourself not to make fun of her. Your Dad directed the four of you up to the prize table to exchange the winning tickets and you were pulled back by your Mom, completely catching you off guard.

“Talk to him” she whispered to you and you rolled your eyes

“I have been talking to him, Mom…”

“And..?”

“And nothing. It’s weird. You gave it your best shot and that’s all we can ask for” you teased, placing your hand on her shoulder, earning a disapproving stare from her as she knocked your hand away.

“And there you go!” Your Dad said happily as he gave your Mom a plush cat, with neon ‘fur’ and a weird grin on its face.

“Wow, thank you honey. This is.. somethin’” she teased but gave him a loving kiss, walking ahead to the car, leaving you and Brendan alone to walk together.

“Did you drive here?” he asked you, pointing in the direction of the parking lot

“I came with my Dad..” you answered, “he’ll drive me back…”

“Sounds good. Did you have fun today?” he said quickly as he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly

“I did! Surprisingly, did you?” you turned to him just as you got out into the bright BC sun

“I did.. I uhm..” he stammered, shifting on his heels in front of you, “I wanted to give this to you. I saw it at the table and thought you might like it. He handed you a small black box and your heart stopped for a second, hoping it wasn’t what you thought it was, but you opened it to find a heart shaped key chain.

“It’s a Sweetheart for my sweetheart…” he said, squeezing his eyes shut at how dumb it was. God you missed that.

“It’s adorable. Thank you..” you said, leaning in to give him a kiss on the cheek as a goodbye, when he moved just enough that his lips connected with yours. The kiss was soft. Soft enough for you to break away like you thought you would but you stayed there, embracing his lips with yours and beginning to wrap your arms around his neck as his hands settled on your hips. The two of you were being bumped occasionally by the crowd exiting the arcade but nothing pulled you apart until you heard your Dad honk his horn.

“I should go…” your arms were still wrapped around his neck, his hands sliding up to your waist and your faces incredulously close.

“Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow?” his eyes bore into yours and you were back to the girl who turned to jelly every time he smiled at her.

“Maybe…” was your only response before your Dad honked his horn again

“Bye” he said, holding onto your hand lightly until you were far enough away that it slipped away. You were in a trance. You hadn’t been like this in so long but you knew the feeling all too well.

“She’ll drive with me. You have to go to the store anyway…” your Mom called to your Dad, forcing you to change the direction of your feet when you heard your Mom call out to Brendan, “you can follow us home Gally!” Your eyes darted to where he was, climbing into his car, and you saw him nod in agreement. You jumped in the front seat of your Mom’s prius and buckled your seatbelt, waiting for her to get in the car; surprised when she didn’t immediately ask a million questions. The ride was only quiet for about five minutes though, when she decided she’d plan your entire relationship from scratch.

“What did he give you anyway?”

“What?”

“I saw him give you a box, was it a ring?”

“A ring? From the prize table? Yes, Mom, but it was a Ring Pop and it fell and broke on the concrete..” you laughed at your own joke but your Mom was not as amused

“Don’t be smart, (Y/N), I think it could really happen. I think he probably has something planned for later…”

“Hold on, what?”

“He’s in love with you and he has been since day one”

“But we broke up”

“But you’re not broken up anymore!”

“Yes, we are”

“You don’t kiss someone like that if you’re broken up”

“That kiss was not what it looked like Mom. It’s complicated…”

“Then un-complicate it!” She was starting to pick up speed because she was getting frustrated and this stretch of road always made you uncomfortable, having known so many friends who turned the bend too fast or couldn’t stop fast enough

“Mom, slow down…”

“I just don’t understand why you keep sabotaging this relationship!”

“Mom, please, slow down” your voice was beginning to hitch and you were terrified that she was going too fast

“You love him. I know you do or else you wouldn’t fight me so much on all of this!”

“You’re right, okay. I love him. Now will you please just slow down?!” you shouted back at your Mom who told you to calm down as she took her foot off the gas pedal slowly and pressed on the brake.

“We’re fine, Okay?” she said and you sighed, still nervous about the long stretch to go, “but I’m glad you finally admitted your feelings…” She put her foot back on the gas, not going as fast as before but still going faster than she probably should’ve been and then continued to nag you.

“You promise you’re not going to sabotage this?”

“Sabotage what?”

“The proposal?!”

“Proposal? What proposal?!”

“Oh, (Y/N), really… You never listen!”

“I told you, we’re broken up. He doesn’t have anything planned for tonight. That would be impossible.”

“The impossible is still possible”

“Who are you, Mary Poppins?”

“He’s going to propose and you’re going to say yes…” It sounded like a threat, which you desperately wanted to call her out on, but when you saw a car fast approaching from the left, all you wanted to do was avoid a collision

“Stop!” you yelled

“(Y/N), I’m serious”

“No, Mom, Stop the car!” you yelled, eyes growing wide and the last thing you remember was the sound of wheels screeching as your car toppled over itself.

#gally #gally imagine #brendan gallagher #brendan gallagher imagine #masterlist #bgally #angst #car accident

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tricks-up-my-sleeve · 6 years

Text

((okay so spoilers for s8 ep 18 aka on the road to friendship under the cut w/ a bunch of spoiler tags just in case))

So uhhh this episode was everything I wanted? A lot of it’s subtle things, but, I’m ghkjlhgfd I’m not crying you are. I don’t do horse analysis or reviews or anything like that I grew tired of those types of things ages ago bc it personally gets to a point where it sucks out the fun for me but I’m just gonna make bullet points of all of my thoughts. Mainly involving Trixie and how this episode ties into my portrayal of her. Probably others too, though.

The little magic show at the beginning? Wonderful. I love these two performing together.. and together in general. Twi & Caddy even agree on how they’re such a good duo.

Speaking of which, Twi complimenting Trixie with a huge smile? HERE. FOR. IT.

Flurry Heart watching the show was adorable. Also the inclusion of Granny Smith was of course great.

“Doing a show with you is almost as much fun as counseling students at Twilight’s school.” Almost? I’m disappointed. It’s not the first time I’ll be disappointed in Glim this episode, but we’ll get there. She’s still loved.. but it gets rough.

Loved how Hoo’far called Trixie “Miss Powerful” and her reaction to it. Just cute and silly.

TRIXIE’S. LOVE. FOR. HER. WAGON. I didn’t expect this to be a big plot point in the ep or really ever brought up, but I was so thrilled because that’s always been a small part of my Trixie. She loves her wagon. It may be small and cramped (and also, it apparently has a pretty fucked up doorknob) but it has sentimental value. It means a lot to her. I loved this so much. Not once did she stop and consider trading it for something that a lot would look at and assume was superior.

Moonwalking Trixie.

Trixie bringing up how traveling gets pretty lonely a few times in this ep. Pretty much something that’s easy to guess or assume, but that’s also something my Trixie hasn’t been too shy of admitting, either.

Trixie!!! Levitating!!! Herself!!! She obviously learned that from Starlight. Although we didn’t see it much, I’m so fucking thrilled that we see that Trixie’s been improving her magic. An issue I had with To Change A Changeling (which is just a nitpick) is that they really don’t bring that up. Personally, ever since All Bottled Up, I’ve definitely been convinced that Trixie actually has strong potential for magic, given the right teacher. Glim Glam succeeds there. I could go more into detail to why I think this is but I’ll spare you.

Trixie on the couch in Starlight’s office. I don’t even have to say anything. Just perfect.

I love how Trixie painstakingly made room for the both of them in the wagon. To it’s credit, looking at it paused, it at least isn’t as small on the inside as it is the outside. It has an entire cannon in there. It seemed like she set up two beds for them? Perhaps at least one of them was makeshift? It’s hard to tell, since Star brought stuff and then she set up hammocks. It did look slightly cozier in there before the extra luggage, though. What I guess I’m getting at, is that although it’s a tight squeeze, it’s good to see that it can at least fit two ponies, although it’s not entirely ideal.

Seeing the inside of the wagon’s been a thing I’ve wanted for ages. I could sit and look at every little thing in there and just smile for a while. Super cute.

Trixie really is sweet and considerate, you know. Seriously. Asking if Starlight is sure she doesn’t want to ride instead of walking with her, and giving her more than one chance to back out on the trip if she wants to.

THE SONG. Tell me I’m biased, I don’t care. This is my favorite horse song. I’ve waited patiently for pony Trix to sing... and it’s just.. all so fucking cute. Too much to take in.

More of Trixie’s magic shown in her shielding Starlight. Love it.

“For untold seasons yet to come, our friendship will be here!” “For nine, at least.” FUCKING. WOW. That’s clever but it also hurt my heart. Especially since my favorite friendship duo has only known each other for three of those seasons thus far, and ultimately it’ll only be four. Too soon, Glimmy.

Trixie talking about how she learned the hard way about life on the road and saving bits and all that. I like that. It shows her more mature side, and that she’s a little street smart from experience. Usually she’s kinda shown as less mature than Starlight, and this episode shows the flip side, which I really like.

I love how she’s adamant on buying hay cakes (Haycakes? They’ve used the word pancake before, though. What’s the difference?) from her preferred stand. Like.. me too, Trix. Clearly there’s a higher quality in the line that’s actually got ponies in it.

This is where Trixie and Starlight really start to argue like a married couple. Here I thought Applejack and Rainbow Dash took the prize for that. This is so domestic tho.

The first argument, at least, is short lived. I really liked that. Trixie sighs, presumably not wanting to push farther to where she hurts Starlight’s feelings. Love how she says “No, of course not.” and continues to apologize for getting snippy. She’s really improved on being.. to put it lightly, less bitchy. It’s what I love about watching her, and while To Change A Changeling was hilarious, that was my other nitpick. She had an attitude almost the entire time.. but it was funny, and I wouldn’t go as far as to call it OOC, so I wasn’t mad. The reason Trixie appeals to me so much is that she’s definitely a much nicer pony, but she’s still her. She hasn’t seemingly changed overnight from the first time we saw her, but she’s definitely made an effort. She’s quite the sweetheart when she wants to be.

I love how Trixie states that it’s taken her years to collect all of her magical items. I just think it’s neat. Also, rightfully getting offended when her stuff is called junk.

Coward Trixie returns. This is definitely me looking too deep into it but personally I’d like to think that yeah, after the Ursa event, I’d be scared of animals outside, too.

Starlight snoring and Trixie outright performing in her sleep. Lmfao. I’ve said this like fifteen times already about other things but I love it.

I relate to these tired and grumpy girls, but even I would have made sure to save some food / juice for my pal. Well.. maybe the juice was definitely out of spite. Wish I could scold her, but I would’ve done the same thing.

The grouchy magic show hurt me to watch. It was still funny though. Again, definitely arguing like a married couple. Two tired, angry friends trying to work together is just never gonna turn out right.

I love their voices in the “Practice makes perfect.” “Not today it didn’t.” exchange. So sassy. So higher pitched. Those faces, too. Lol.

Starlight throwing all of Trixie’s shit out followed by Trix yelling “You can HAVE IT ALL!” Oof. Almost like I’m watching a breakup right before my very eyes. Also the way she runs off. These poor hopeless gays.

STARLIGHT GLIMMER CONFIRMED WORST GIRLFRIEND. I’mjustkidding. Naturally I saw this coming from a mile away, but still. Wow. Ouch. I do like though how it seems to be consistent that she can be defensive of her bad decisions. Not really realizing that what she’s doing is wrong.

TRIXIE FREAKING OUT, THEN BEING BROUGHT TO TEARS BECAUSE STARLIGHT TRADED HER WAGON. This hurt me more than you could imagine, but what hurt me even more is that Starlight didn’t even flinch, and was completely insensitive about it for a while. Yikes. I already went into how much I love Trixie’s attachment to her wagon, but this killed me.

Also, pretty sure that selling or trading somebody else’s stuff is illegal, Star. Trixie shouldn’t have beef with Hoo’far. She should just be planning a lawsuit against Glimmer instead.

Am I just crazy or stupid? When Trixie tells Starlight that at least the wagon wouldn’t have traded her away, I was like, yEAH, you’re valid. Tell her. It made total sense to me. Then Starlight just responds with “That’s ridiculous.” Like?? It wasn’t to me? I sound silly now bc I get the joke, it’s an inanimate object, but what I’m trying to get at is that Trixie was pretty much trying to say that if Starlight really was her best friend she wouldn’t have done that.

I love how Trixie doesn’t accept the flattery from Hoo’far like she normally would bc she’s real pissed. To be fair, though, it’s really not his fault. I mean.. okay, a little, considering he should have known that it didn’t belong to Starlight, and that the trade needed to be given the okay by Trixie. He’s not a bad guy, though.

TRIXIE LYING IN FRONT OF THE CART FOR HOURS BC NO WAY IN HELL IS SHE LETTING THIS GUY TAKE IT. AMAZING. Give it up for his patience, too.

Starlight finds out that you win some and you lose some with the bigger caravan. Also, I love how she didn’t realize how fucked up stuff was when she was with Trixie and having a good time. Her regret sinking in seems about right. You can see her start to miss her.

“Sometimes travelling together is hard.” “But you reminded us that you can also make it fun!” Definite lesson that these two needed. Obviously Starlight was breaking before hearing that, but those big sad eyes she gets after. Regret.

“What are you two doing?” “Taking a stand! By lying down!” Lmao. Never change, Trixie.

“Best friends who share a deep bond but weren’t prepared for the emotional challenges of traveling.” Oh, definitely. Really feel like their first trip should have been a short one. Possibly with more planning ahead of time.

Best. Friendship. Chant.

“Only true friends would be willing to act so ridiculous for one another.” Aww. True.

“At a certain point, I don’t even like travelling with myself.” Line I really liked. Also Starlight saying that it’s harder than she thought.

Despite their exchange about knowing not to do it again, eh, still not wanting to completely rule out the thought of them travelling together in the future. Like I said, with more precautions taken, pretty sure they could’ve been just fine. Mainly reserving a room at an inn, since the big issue really just seemed to be them getting crabby sleeping in the wagon. Would’ve preferred it if it kinda gave that lesson and had Trixie say that they’ll know how to handle it next time, with both of them saying yeah, but let’s not make that anytime soon.

Trixie and Starlight almost killed an old man.

That’s it, if anyone even read through all of that. Can’t really say much more. This may or may not be my favorite Trixie episode. I’ll have to give it some time, but I loved almost everything about it. (No Second Prances is my current favorite I suppose, due to it also validating a lot of how I viewed Trixie at the time, and still do.)

Like I said.. it’s just really refreshing to see her take on a more mature stance than Starlight for the most part, since other episodes usually show the exact opposite. Not that Starlight is incredibly mature in her own right, but she does usually take that role when it comes to her dynamic with Trixie. I love any chance we get to see Trixie, but in episodes like To Change A Changeling, sometimes I worry that they don’t give her enough credit. She’s not a complete incompetent bitch, and to be fair, I don’t think she ever really has been. I won’t go into how I personally view her flaws, though. Guess that could be another post.

Until next time. Hopefully there is another next time. Starlight’s line in the song about nine seasons still has me all fucked up and I need help. Maybe one day I could go back and do these for past Trix episodes.

#mlp spoilers #s8 spoilers #mlp s8 spoilers #spoilers #mlp s8 e18 #on the road to friendship #🎆 || out of peanut butter crackers. { ooc }#🎆 || a good magician never reveals her secrets. { musings }#🎆 || unbeknownst to the public. { headcanons }#wasn't sure what to tag this as but i felt at least one of them fit

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erenoir · 3 years

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Hi Fae! ♡ The ask that I sent you yesterday, please just answer it here once you’re ready. I don’t want others knowing about my relationship situation 😭 And the fact that you still haven’t respond to it yet is making me kinda scared bc I feel like I might have over shared or something & if I did I’m so sorry for that! 🥺😩 But if you actually have no idea what to say just tell me okay, I don’t mind 😌

-🕊

1. pls don’t be scared abt whether you overshared or not!! ik the feeling and it’s not great so just know u didn’t (at least for me) 2. i was gonna ask you to send a separate ask that i could respond to anyway so i’m glad you did lol & 3. typing this out gave me some clarity on things too so damn?

anyways here goes nothing,, me desperately trying to give relationship advice i hope this helps somewhat? i tried >_<

wow okay well… i read everything twice to take it all in. 8 years is a very long time! it’s amazing that you two have quite literally withstood every awkward phase, every self-discovery, every part of growing up together. since middle school! and it’s been 8 years so you’re probably around 19-20ish now?? i will say this, it’s hard to let someone that important go, you grew up with him, you fell in love with him, you were there for him in his darkest times and cutting that off is not easy. you loved him so much that you forgave him and gave him a second chance after he did that to you… (i won’t say what) i can’t imagine the weight you feel as you make this decision on whether you should break things off for good.

what i will say, is that there are people that are meant to be in your life for a reason, and not all of those people are meant to be with you through every step for ever and ever. some are just meant to be there for certain parts of it and it’s hard to accept that maybe it’s time to let them go. i mean, you and him have talked about getting married, i wouldn’t expect you to be able to just break up with him as if you don’t have all of this history behind you. but, you gave him the benefit of the doubt, i know plenty of people that would’ve dropped their s/o the minute they heard something like what your boyfriend did, but you kept him around and it seems he may have taken advantage of your unconditional love for him and went back to his old ways anyway.

i’m not a relationship expert, i’m just a 21 year old who is just as clueless as the next person figuring love out. but what i will say after reading your story and thinking about what i would do in your shoes, i think it may be time to let him go. it won’t be easy, it could take you so long to fully be over him and that’s okay, everyone’s hearts heal differently. but i think he’s been with you through the most vulnerable parts of your life and i think that you shouldn’t submit yourself to his behavior anymore. you’re still so young you might even be a bit younger than me?? when i tell you our 20s are a time when we do not need someone holding us back… i mean it. if we thought middle school/high school was a time of self discovery, now is when we’re gonna be doing the soul searching. and i really think he might hinder you from fully coming into your own!

he was in your life for a reason, he was a part of it when he was fit to be a part of it, but people drift apart and that is okay. he’s changed and you know what people are gonna change and they might fit into your life still or they might not. i’ve had falling outs with people who i thought but would be attending my wedding one day… and it sucks not having them here it really does. but over time i’ve forgiven, we went our separate ways but i’ll always be thankful for the part of my life they existed in and the lessons they taught me and the things they helped me discover about myself when i had them. and when i didn’t have them, for months after i felt lonely as shit, i didn’t have anyone, and it really felt shitty for a bit. but it’s crazy because as people leave your life new ones come in, and now i’ve found people that i really feel like are my forever friends. they came into my life when i had no one and i was forced to put myself out there bc i had no one, and then i met them.

what i’m trying to say is… let me wrap this up lol. better things will come. whatever you decide to do first of all is completely your own decision and whatever that decision is will come with a lesson and you’ll get through it. but, if you decide to break things off… don’t feel guilty. don’t let him make you feel guilty. he might get on his knees and beg you to forgive him but you did that already once before. you need to do this for you! and you need to keep walking!! it’ll hurt, it might take a lot to get you back to normal even though it won’t be the same normal as before but it’ll be a new normal and that’s okay! you’ll meet new people, you have to grow into this new self of yours but if you’re 20 or somewhere around there i’m just ballparking your age here lol, this is supposed to be like the best time of our lives or something idk that’s what they told me. so don’t let him hold you back, think about yourself here. you’ve done enough for him as he has for you!!

anyways that’s my very lengthy two cents >3< i’m so sorry u had to read all of that but ur the one who asked a VIRGO for advice i am not gonna skimp out on you!! i hope you were able to gain some clarity from my train of thought <3

#🔓—mitsery.anons #🕊—nonnie #move over dr. phil i am here

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ts-autumns-world · 3 years

Text

Episode 7: “Bottoms deserve rights!” - Jinx

MERGE MY BELOVED <3 LOOK AT ME NOT GETTING VOTED OUT, LOVE TO SEE IT

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This challenge is cool but I feel like we just totally got played

All four of the original Llih tribe members are all together here, this might've been the plan all along to vote for us and save Mikki and Raffy

Either way it rules and if that was the big mind game from everyone then props to them! They did good

hey y’all it’s grey! long time no see i know. let’s get caught up, shall we? so last time i saw y’all i was at the outhouse and girlllll lemme tell you some shit went down since then. so benj gets super idoled out, and i’m shook as fuck. sad to see him go but AT LEAST it wasn’t chris. so i get back to camp and they give us a reward challenge and i’m not able to do it bc i have to work, so they finish the challenge and i’m sure we’re about to have an immunity challenge bc duh merge at 11, but NOOOOO of course autumn dumps this NASTY ass twist and i have to go to this ugly ass tribe with people i DONT FUCKING KNOW. literally by myself with two ppl from one tribe and two people from another. i was like “oh lord this is it for me.” but immediately joey and lily c are like “we don’t want vote you” and i’m like “oh wig” and it’s a glorious day except not bc i don’t really get to have a say in the vote, they just vote blake out which isn’t a problem in my eyes, to be honest, i kept hearing he was messy so BYE BYE BLAKEY. and finally FINALLY we make it to the merge and i have NEVER been happier to be back with my og tua babes, i missed jude and jinx SO MUCH and i finally finally get to talk to monty and captain. <3 #crey. first night in merge and i’m already getting into a showmance. except it’s kind of a fauxmance bc we haven’t even spoken to each other LMFAOOOOOO. we just flirt in the hill house. omg. hill house and chill? LOL. anyway yeah i’m hoping i can convince these ppl to give monty immunity so we don’t have to worry about anyone else slipping away with it, bc i want as many options open as possible for this next tribal. i’m still upset that i didn’t get anything from the outhouse but oh well, we going into merge raw. i have to touch base with monty so see where his head is at but i’m pretty sure it’s unspoken that we’re gonna work together. so i have three paths. i could stick with og tua 4, i couid go with monty and be a slightly sneaky pair, or i could play the reverse psychology become a showmance w captain angle. i guess we’ll have two see how this vote plays out. i don’t want to get too comfortable bc that’s when things go wrong but yes. hopefully it all works out. <3 until next time, Grey.

WOOHOO I’M VULNERABLE AND I DIDN’T GET THE ADVANTAGE CAUSE IM AN IDIOT WOOHOO

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What I want to try and do is not overly push, I know i’m going to get votes (RIP perfect game), but I want to make sure it isn’t me going and now we just hope and pray to the Survivor Gods that Lily O working 9 to 5 doesn’t give us a chance to parton her for being slightly inactive

first of all lemme say its a shame raffy ended up immune but i figure thats just happening for the sake of shaking it up

but second i have to say. i am LOVING mikki's energy holy shit. i feel just like an instant connection and i think its a crime on autumn's part that we never ended up together until now. both last night and tonight we've had big lengthy dm convos and it just feels so relaxing to talk to her. forget joey she's my new FTC buddy <3

https://voca.ro/1acJjlqdL2d0 this cone makes no sense I apologise sahjashjas

Joey rushing to make alliances and all is so funny to me; he had one made with me/Mikki although Im not too sure how reliable it is given what he is doing. Nevertheless for the challenge, my biggest concern was that we make it obvious we're all together and it makes it easier for them to target us and sure enough it seems like we did that. On one end, I would've liked to found a way to not get targeted but at the same time, I think it makes it fun. Plus, we saved Raffy in the process and if I have to make it clear they wanted Raffy out then so be. Anyways, welcome to Autumn's World

Being in the bottom for the trust rankings sucked. Being selected as the one to win immunity was great. I'm sure Chris and Captain had a hand in making sure I was the one immune. It makes sure people have a tough decision ahead of them since I definitely would have been the easy vote this round. Right now, Captain, Chris, and Mikki all seem keen on working with me in the long-term. So, I am going to stay loyal to those three as best I can. Hopefully, they can talk to each other and become an alliance with me. Let's see how this vote goes!

Would you say I’m worried? Yes, I would. Would you say I’m freaking out? Ummm, yeah, yeah we are getting there. Mhm. Yep. Cool. Cool.

Do I know what I’m doing? No. No clue.

https://youtu.be/mhv4MYZb8Bg

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https://youtu.be/hfmcnsium88

https://youtu.be/5RYhpy1UGXg

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this vote they tried it with raffy and you know what we said?

yall wanna target a bottom? target ur own white ppl. spits.

bottoms deserve rights!

This vote’s looking more split than my mother’s first divorce

It's Sad World for me. Sigh. I'm doing what I can and I'm not giving up no matter how stressed I get. I botched getting the advantage. I feel heartbroken but I won't give up. It ain't looking good from here tho, fam.

I have zero idea what anyone is doing, as fun as this tribe is we have such bad communication lmfao

I think it's between Lily C and Jude, that seems to be the common consensus, but. Do I just go Lily C to put myself in good standings with everyone? Or do I stick with my guts and vote Jude to try and sway it a bit? It's... a difficult decision but I really dont wanna put too much thought into it

https://photos.app.goo.gl/zdtx21a6WWsqXjJUA

https://youtu.be/fF5V3zgLpvY

https://youtu.be/59BrcOfTK0k

https://youtu.be/dp_vFeibhjo

https://youtu.be/qfTWZ4G2EUc

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For Lily C: https://youtu.be/C79yZd-NjBU

#tsaw #episodes

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its-love-u-asshole · 7 years

Text

Slipping Underneath [Ch. 6]

Pairings: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei

Summary: Tsukishima was in some deep shit he realized, but common sense told him he should have been rather happy about the discovery he’d just made. Of course, that didn’t stop him from freaking out.

“Tsukki? Did something happen?” Bokuto asked.

Dejected, the blond lifted his head, giving Bokuto the flattest stare he could manage. “The neighbor downstairs hates my voice.”

Rating: T

Tags: soulmates, mythology/sirens AU, some iwaoi and bokuaka thrown in bc why not, first meetings, fluff, Kuroo is a nerd and Tsukki can’t help but be charmed, Siren!Tsukki, Siren!Bokuto

Note: Hello! Thank you all so much for reading this fic! I can't believe I'm almost to the end fff, this chapter and the next contain the scenes I've been waiting to write all along, so hopefully you enjoyed! Thank you to @emeraldwaves for reading this over and being amazing! I'm hoping to have this fic done by valentine's day, but I probably just jinxed myself ^^'' the next update from me will come from my other ongoing fic though, so check it out ;)))) Thanks again for following this fic these past few months! Enjoy~

AO3

"You know....like...none of this would've happened if you'd just told him from the beginning that you were a siren."

Across the living room, a weak, muffled voice groaned in response. "I know."

Tsukishima currently had a face full of couch cushion, his limbs too lazy and his mind too bogged down for him to even consider moving an inch. Who knew if Bokuto could even hear him through the fabric, but fucking whatever. He refused to speak up, refused to do much of anything except lay there, and occasionally walk to the kitchen for no actual reason other than to remember the fact he was still cursed to walk the earth.

Of course, his friend wouldn't ignore it though, and knew him far too well enough to allow it. Especially not when Tsukishima would give him so much crap during one of his 'episodes.'

God, this is gonna suck.

Bokuto lounged easily on one of their kitchen island stools, swinging his legs back and forth as he consumed one of Tsukishima's strawberry bars. Asshole. A preemptive strike. Nothing got Tsukishima in a 'fight me' mood like someone stealing his snacks, but Bokuto had obviously underestimated the level of shit Tsukishima had gotten himself into.

Not even ice cream bar theft would lift his spirits.

"Like it would've been that easy," Bokuto continued, slurping up the treat loudly.

Tsukishima only sighed. "Yeah, I get it."

Unfortunately, Bokuto mastered the art of wearing people down back when they were twelve.

"Like 'hey there Kuroo, before we date, I should tell you this one thing,' or whatever," Bokuto went on, and Tsukishima swore he heard the sound of a half eaten bar being thrown into the trash.

"Uh-huh."

"Because you know, this was avoidable."

"Yup."

"Super avoidable. I can't begin to tell you how avoidable--"

Enough. Tsukishima lifted his head, giving everything he had to the glare he sent Bokuto's way. "Kou. I know. Please shut up."

Tsukishima's voice packed a punch, but despite how enraged he was, the power behind it fell short. It came laced with a roughness only a night of tears and loathing could be responsible for. His eyes still burned, and with a grimace, he rubbed at them until they hurt more so.

He shouldn't have to put up with this. He'd never wanted this. If only he didn't have this stupid voice. Like stanzas and notes, turned to shackles, dragging him down with the somber odes they complimented.

Normally, he'd be way too fucking prideful to let anyone see him like this...crying over...over anything. But this was Bokuto, and the chances of him not picking up the signs were low. People thought the other was so dense, and he could be. Not when it came to those he loved. Not when it came to his friend of over a decade.

Tsukishima had been silent for two days now. No singing, no humming. No music on top of it. Tsukishima had never gone a day in his life without music. But now his mp3 player just sat on the coffee table, no battery, and Tsukishima had no desire to change that.

It was unhealthy for their kind, living this way, and the toll it took on Tsukishima's health seemed to ignite Bokuto's anger.

"No! And you shouldn't either! You've been way too quiet, even for you," Bokuto said, leaping from his perch, footsteps thundering against their shitty laminate flooring. Tsukishima vaguely wondered if Kuroo could hear the ruckus...

"You're not the boss of me," he muttered back, childishly, dropping his face back into the mountain of pillows.

He expected a snort, maybe some of their usual bickering, but he'd never been that lucky. Bokuto's sigh communicated nothing but sadness, disappointment, and Tsukishima couldn't help but glance back up at those golden eyes, full of pity.

He hated this. He didn't need pity, didn't want any. He'd made a decision, and now he had to stand by it. It wasn't Tsukishima's fault. He didn't listen to the rational parts of his head, the ones which begrudgingly agreed with Bokuto. No. At the end of the day, Kuroo didn't trust him, had spied on him. The apology wasn't Tsukishima's to give.

Bokuto trudged over, seating himself at the end of the couch near Tsukishima's head. Stubbornly, Tsukishima scooted away.

"Kei," Bokuto sighed, slouching against their lumpy cushions. Tsukishima could practically see his expression, concerned and scared. The knots in Tsukishima's stomach pulled tighter. "Look, you can handle the Kuroo situation however you want. I think you should fix things as soon as possible, because like it or not the guy makes you happy and you can't deny it! But...I won't force you. It's just... you need to sing. This isn't good for you. It's starting to...show..."

Bokuto punctuated the statement with a hard wince, and Tsukishima had to admit he had a point there. His skin had lost the usual shine, the glow. It looked a sickly grey now, dried out and scratchy. His body felt weak, his hair brittle and limp. Coupled with his mess of emotions, it was not a pretty sight.

Tsukishima had never let it get this bad. In fact, regardless of if he liked to sing, he made a schedule to avoid situations like this.

But well, what was the point?

Tsukishima was far from happy. What was there to sing about? He couldn't if he tried.

He felt like crap, his heart ached, and all he wanted was to go one floor down and melt into Kuroo's arms. But no, not when Kuroo had lied to him. Not while Tsukishima's stubbornness made him ignore Bokuto's advice.

Regardless, the need to vent burned deep, probably a result of his body's desire to express something, in song form or otherwise. Bokuto likely wouldn't give up either, so he couldn't avoid the conversation in the end. Whatever...

"He thought I was cheating on him," Tsukishima breathed out, the words slurring together. He wondered how long it would be for his voice to give out, it sounded so damn weak already.

Two days. That's all it had taken. Being in love sucked.

"First off, you assumed that, you don't know," Bokuto countered. Fucking hell, fine. Tsukishima had some fight left in him.

"What else could it have been? And if it was something else, he could've asked me," Tsukishima hissed. There was a brief moment of silence while Bokuto thought of his next argument, and each second added an extra dose of dread to Tsukishima's deteriorating form.

"Mm yeah, you got a point. He messed up. But so did you!" Bokuto said, hitting Tsukishima with the nearby pillow. "You've been lying to him all along! If you'd told him you were a siren, then he'd know why you're a dude magnet. When I met Akaashi, I--"

Fuck--

"Ughhh! Please make it stop, I've heard this story twenty times, I get it!" Tsukishima rolled back and forth on the couch, his hands clamping over his ears like a survival instinct. Bokuto visibly flinched, since hell, that was the most vocal Tsukishima had been in a while, but shit. Tsukishima didn't deserve this. He wouldn't stand for it. "I know okay? You and Akaashi are perfect. When you met Akaashi, everything fell into place. You two are so in love. Nice. Now get off my lawn."

"Okay but we really are. We're hella cute."

"I swear--"

"I mean, you don't have to be so jealous. Even though I wouldn't exactly blame you..."

Bokuto barely held back his laughter, and Tsukishima scrambled up, his glare too intense to be serious. They stared at each other, a stand still familiar to them both after years of friendship, waiting for the other to crack. Bokuto's lip quivered, and Tsukishima fisted his hands into the couch cushions, but eventually his defense proved too weak.

Tsukishima snorted, short but loud, and Bokuto broke down, clutching his stomach.

"Asshole," Tsukishima said as he threw pillow upon pillow onto Bokuto's shaking form, the other dying from breathlessness. But despite his words, Tsukishima couldn't help but grin, his heart lighter for a fraction of a second.

Eventually, Bokuto's chuckles died into short giggles, his chest heaving as Tsukishima flopped back onto the haphazard cushions. When Bokuto finally wiped the tears from his eyes enough to look at Tsukishima, his expression softened into something Tsukishima didn't think he'd earned.

"Hey, there we go. Your skin looks a little brighter now..."

Tsukishima shook his head, knowing it wasn't true, but also realizing it was better to not point it out. When he looked to his forearm, his pale skin was dull as ever. "Sure Kou, whatever you say."

Below him, he heard a door slam, something Kuroo only did when he was truly frustrated.

It stung, and Tsukishima clutched at his chest, the pain nearly physical in nature.

He missed Kuroo. That much he could admit. He wished this whole thing had never happened. Part of him wished he'd never been caught singing on his balcony by Kuroo at all, but somehow, the wish didn't feel genuine.

Now that Kuroo was in his life, he couldn't bear to have him leave. So...now what?

Bokuto grabbed his hand, squeezing tight. "You need to tell him. Kuroo's a good guy, I'm sure of it! You wouldn't like him otherwise....you're so picky."

Tsukishima swatted him halfheartedly, but well, Bokuto was right. Kuroo was a nerd with bad jokes, cheesy lines, and untamable hair. But he also embodied everything Tsukishima wanted, and his stupid kindness seemed immeasurable. Tsukishima had been a goner since the beginning, hadn't he?

Tsukishima sighed in defeat, the corners of his mouth lifting ever so slightly.

"He'll apologize, but you kinda gotta...do the same..." Bokuto's tone dripped with hesitancy, like the slightest advisement would have Tsukishima jumping back in fear, right to square one.

Rather than admit Bokuto had gotten through to him, Tsukishima stood up, his feet tingling from finally being used after hours of lethargy. Tentatively, Tsukishima cleared his throat, then sang one fluid note into the air.

It cracked near the end, and barely managed to be heard above the AC in their apartment, but it was there. Low and melancholic, it was there.

Ignoring the satisfied look on Bokuto's face, Tsukishima walked to the kitchen, humming all the way and determined to give his parched throat some relief.

No, he couldn't sing happily, couldn't communicate joyous lyrics or ideas. But he could sing of his pain, of his longing, of the hurt festering inside him. He'd sing his vents until they were no more, until his head was clear and rational enough.

Then he could talk to Kuroo again. Then he could be himself.

Sending Bokuto a thankful glance, Tsukishima grabbed his water, and retreated to his room.

Apologies were not a race or a competition, he reasoned about three days later.

Tsukishima's throat ached from use, but considering that was his only physical issue, he was lucky. His hair gleamed, soft to the touch, his skin healthy and vibrant. The red rims around his eyes had mostly faded, and the honey hue of his eyes glowed once more in the sunlight.

He felt better. He felt ready.

It had been his misguided pride and selfishness that had held him back from approaching Kuroo before, but his mind had cleared. As stubborn as he was, this wasn't something he could, or wanted to avoid.

They were both at fault at the end of the day. He should've heard Kuroo out more, shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. Probably should've told the truth from the beginning...

Kuroo owed him a fair share of explanation and an apology as well, Tsukishima wouldn't let that shit slide. Tsukishima was certain he already knew that too. Kuroo was too good of a guy not to.

It didn't matter who came to who, or who explained themselves first. What mattered was fixing this error, and Tsukishima's determination could rival even the toughest soldier right then.

Bokuto's morning text of 'you better tell him ur a siren, ya slut' had helped too. As much as his heart raced and his stomach twisted at the thought of Kuroo's reaction, he knew it was the only way to avoid this problem in the future.

All he had to do was hope that Kuroo wouldn't think he was a freak. Ha.

It was all planned out in his head. After his last lecture, he'd go to Kuroo's apartment, and they'd sort everything out.

He was so focused on his strategy he hadn't dreamed of expecting any detours. For example, he hadn't factored in the possibility of Kuroo finding him first, stopping Tsukishima dead in his tracks in the middle of the sidewalk.

Crap. Well there goes that idea.

Kuroo had come into his view from the side, chest heaving like he'd run to meet Tsukishima in time. It would make sense, they knew each other's schedules so well now. Tsukishima tried not to dwell on the fact that usually Kuroo walked him to class on days like this.

But normalcy would return soon. Right?

"U-uh--" Tsukishima's voice betrayed him, his brain only willing to focus on Kuroo's warm hands on his shoulders, and the apprehensive vibe he gave off. Kuroo...Kuroo shouldn't ever look how he did right then.

His golden eyes seemed less playful, framed by dark bags of exhaustion. His hair sat more disordered than usual, and his skin lacked its ordinary shine. Tsukishima had never thought about it, but if he'd ever had to describe Kuroo, the word 'lively' would've come to mind first. Lively, teasing, confident, among a plethora of other things which Tsukishima admired more than he liked to admit.

Now though, now Kuroo looked like a shadow of his former self, and it made whatever vestiges of Tsukishima's former anger dissipate instantly. Just the sight of him made Tsukishima want to put a pause on this weird quarrel they'd put themselves in, if only to force Kuroo to get some sleep.

If Kuroo were a dog, he'd be trembling, tail between his legs and eyes full of fear. Like he expected the worst

Like he'd spent all week worrying about Tsukishima's feelings, the guilt eating him alive.

Turns out they'd both been in bad shape after all. But he could fix that, he could fix this, temper be damned.

"Kuroo, I--"

"No, me first," Kuroo cut off, his voice stony and laced with nerves. Long gone was the easiness and cheer which tended to fill his tone. Tsukishima bit his lip, willing himself to let Kuroo speak, no matter how badly he wanted to just come out and confess.

“Or last...whatever," Kuroo continued, sighing heavily. His fingers kept digging into Tsukishima's shoulders. "I'm sure you want nothing to do with me right now, and you deserve to feel that way! I really fucked up, and--god Kei, I'm so sorry if I made you cry or...made you think I don't trust you! Because I do...so much..."

Frenzied, Kuroo brushed a hand through his untamed hair, swallowing hard as he searched frantically for his words. To think Kuroo would ever have a problem with words of all things. If things weren't so tense, Tsukishima might've laughed.

Now he was just trying to keep from embarrassing himself with tears. At least no one was around.

"I just...I don't have an excuse okay?" Kuroo's shoulders sagged as he stared at the ground. "Well, I kinda do but it's stupid and I'd rather tell you in a cemetery so I can bury myself alive afterwards. But point is, I messed up and you have a right to be angry, and to want to break up with me, or whatever really."

The mere thought had Tsukishima's heart stalling.

"I know we haven't been dating long but...I don't know. I want you to be happy, so happy. I never wanted to be someone who didn't make that happen but obviously I'm an idiot," Kuroo said with a small, humorless chuckle. "I love being around you, everything about you. I never should've doubted you, and if you still want me around...I won't ever do it again. I swear."

The determination locked in Kuroo eyes was the first trace of a familiar spark Tsukishima had seen since Kuroo had started talking, and it melted him on the spot.

I love being around you, everything about you.

How exactly was he supposed to react to that? It breathed life into him, better than any song could, no matter how profound or fitting the lyrics. It almost made Tsukishima want to laugh more, to think they'd let things get so out of hand when in reality they needed each other.

In that moment, Tsukishima knew that was the truth, soulmate connection or not. He didn't need the universe to tell him how much he needed and wanted to be by Kuroo's side. It was simply a plain fact.

"If I still want you around..." Tsukishima breathed out, snorting lightly. In what world wouldn't that be the case? Tsukishima scolded himself for being cheesy, but watching Kuroo perk up at the words made it worth it.

He'd truly become hopeless, and he felt perfectly fine about it.

Grabbing Kuroo's hand off his shoulder, Tsukishima squeezed tight, breathing in deeply. Push pride aside.

The image of Bokuto's text flashed in his mind, and as annoying as it was, it did the job.

"I don't want to break up dummy, where did you even get that idea?" Tsukishima asked, and he continued despite Kuroo's strangled gasp. He scowled at the space behind Kuroo's head, not confident enough to meet his eyes, lest he come completely undone. "I was really angry with you though, I won't lie. I'm still not completely over it but...this was my fault too. I'm...I'm sorry."

At the sight of Kuroo opening his mouth to protest, Tsukishima squeezed his hands tighter, silencing him. "I'm serious. I haven't been totally honest with you, because I didn't think it would matter. But obviously that didn't work...so, you deserve to know."

Kuroo's eyes widened, the mix of confusion and suspicion hard to ignore. "Wha--wait. Huh? What is it?"

"I can't tell you here, and wow, don't give me that look. I haven't been harvesting your blood in your sleep or anything..." Tsukishima clicked his tongue, but his tone relaxed into something playful, something more them.

It got a small laugh out of Kuroo, and again Tsukishima was grateful. "Well who knows, I've had worse theories before...but alright. Where do you wanna..." Kuroo looked around, noting the few students now passing them now and again with questioning eyes. He unlaced their hands, considerate as ever of Tsukishima's desire for privacy, and smiled.

"Can you come over tonight?" Tsukishima asked, hoping his voice didn't give away his nerves. He'd gotten through half of the obstacle, but the worst was yet to come. Oh how he loathed being a siren sometimes...

Part of him knew he shouldn't worry though. This was Kuroo he was dealing with. Kuroo, who had just poured his heart out.

He'd said he loved everything about Tsukishima. Hopefully that would include his secret.

"Anything for you," Kuroo said, the same embarrassing dreaminess leaking into his expression. Things were already returning to normal..."Are you sure we're okay though? I mean it Kei, I made you upset. I'll do anything to make it up to you."

The pure genuine nature of the statement only solidified Tsukishima's predictions. Things would be fine. All he had to do was come clean.

"Oh I'm sure," he replied, smirking lightly. "We can talk about it tonight, just...don't keep me waiting."

Tsukishima glanced around quickly for onlookers before he dropped his hesitancy all at once, acting on impulse alone as he pressed a kiss to Kuroo's cheek. His skin burned, and he was sure red color traveled down his neck from how damn embarrassed he was, but Kuroo communicated with affection, with touch. Tsukishima needed to make sure Kuroo believed him, believed that everything would be alright now.

"I-I have to go to class, see you tonight," Tsukishima's voice sounded rushed and panicked, but hell, his embarrassment wouldn't get any worse. The stunned look on Kuroo's face as the raven internally combusted probably added to it too. Dork.

Mind and heart feeling lighter by the second, Tsukishima went on his way, knowing the night wouldn't come soon enough.

Tsukishima had told Kuroo not to keep him waiting, so naturally, Kuroo arrived early in order to avoid the possibility of the universe's cruel intentions of making him late via earthquake or fire. He'd thankfully arrived in one piece, twenty minutes ahead of schedule.

The only downside of that: Tsukishima hadn't returned home yet.

"What?" Kuroo asked, blinking in confusion at Bokuto Koutarou, Tsukishima's roommate. Side note: holy fuck this guy is ripped.

He'd have to ask Tsukishima how he'd never mentioned that before, because man, Kuroo needed Bokuto's workout regime stat.

"Oh, he'll be back soon! Sometimes his last professor holds the class back, Kei hates it," Bokuto said, his face breaking out into one of the most blinding smiles Kuroo had ever seen. Seriously, he was probably half blind now. "You should come in though! You can wait for him inside!"

Somehow, something in Kuroo's head told him Tsukishima would very much mind Kuroo being alone with his best friend of over ten years, but oh well. This was his chance to get some prime Tsukki intel...

"Sure, why not?" Kuroo said easily, waltzing into the apartment he visited often. Well, he hadn't been there in a while, but he hoped to change that misfortune. "I'm Kuroo Tetsurou by the way."

Bokuto laughed, gesturing for Kuroo to sit on the couch while he claimed the ratty armchair nearby. "Dude...I know. I wouldn't let Kei off the hook until he spilled everything about you, he's so mean to me! I tell him everything but nooo, he hides his boyfriend from me," Bokuto said with an exaggerated pout, his voice booming in the tiny apartment.

Kuroo could already tell he was going to like this guy, but how he ended up being best friends with quiet and reserved Tsukishima remained a mystery.

"Sounds like Tsukki," Kuroo laughed, fondly eyeing the various records and headphones strewn about the living room. He'd have to ask Tsukishima to play him one some time, he'd never actually used a record player before...

Looking back to Bokuto, Kuroo tensed at the sharp smirk directed at him. He felt like a mouse suddenly, about to be swooped up by deadly talons.

"You look so whipped," Bokuto said, almost triumphant in the assessment. Kuroo blushed, but hey, couldn't exactly deny that. "Kei is too. Totally gone I mean. It's good you guys patched things up."

Then, Bokuto paused, squinting to the point where his eyes were nearly closed. It would've been ridiculous as hell if Kuroo wasn't still walking on eggshells.

"You did patch things up...right?" Bokuto asked, his eyes filling with concern. Tsukishima always told him how overly sweet and trusting Bokuto could be, but Kuroo didn't exactly view those as negatives. The guy clearly wanted what was best for everyone, even Kuroo, someone he barely knew.

Kuroo smiled, his shoulders relaxing finally. "Yeah...yeah I think so. We're trying to lay everything out in the open you know? Kinda overwhelming..."

But he was so happy about it too. Tsukishima didn't hate him. Tsukishima wanted to be with him, to open up to him fully. It was all Kuroo had dreamed of. They really needed to have a talk about communication too, no more of these weird misunderstandings.

Then maybe Kuroo wouldn't lose his mind again, thinking about sirens and all that garbage...

Just the reminder of his botched and unfounded theory made him blush, and he quickly pushed it out of his mind. No more assumptions, no more strange hypotheses...

Tsukishima would tell him what he needed to know.

Sighing heavily, Bokuto collapsed back into his armchair in relief. "Thank god, I was getting so tired of him angsting everywhere. He wasn't singing either, which okay, I know you probably don't know much right now. But for a siren, that's like...super bad for his health."

If Kuroo's brain were a record player, the harsh scratch of vinyl would've bounced off the walls.

For...for a...

"What?" Kuroo croaked, his mind teetering on the edge of sanity.

Bokuto, still not looking at Kuroo as he pulled out his phone to scroll through some texts, only shrugged. "You know, we were made to sing. So when we don't, we get really sick. You would've freaked out if you'd seen him."

I'm freaking out now. Okay, okay. Calm down. He's--he's gotta be joking. Or I'm dreaming. Yeah.

"B-Bokuto, I think--"

"And y'know, Kei doesn't sing excessively or anything, but ever since you've been around he's been doing it a lot more! So I got really worried when he just went silent on me," Bokuto continued, oblivious to Kuroo's internal breakdown. "He's such a good singer too! It annoys him though, because of all the guys and the attention he gets, oh right--I'm sure that must've been so weird for you. Kei would never cheat though!"

At the very thought, Bokuto's face scrunched up unpleasantly, and right...Tsukishima must've vented to him about Kuroo's suspicions of infidelity. Even though...those hadn't exactly been his suspicions at all.

No, what plagued his mind had been silly, unfounded. Or at least he'd thought so. But even now, one word rang in his mind, like a chorus, chanting and chanting until...

"Sirens," Kuroo said, his voice shaky. His forced chuckle seemed to finally break Bokuto of his rambling, and the other looked over at him, his bright eyes blinking owlishly. "That's...a good one. Ha...did you guys figure that out from Oikawa? That bastard. I know it's pretty stupid to suspect you guys of it, so I deserve the jokes."

Kuroo laughed again, but it felt hollow and broken, painfully awkward as he waited for Bokuto to laugh too, to confirm this whole thing was some elaborate prank.

Silence was his only reward.

He could almost see it, the exact moment in Bokuto's expression where he realized he'd fucked up, the exact second Kuroo knew he hadn't been joking at all.

Bokuto tensed up, his mouth opening and closing several times while color drained from his face, those golden eyes flicking every which way in a panic.

Oh my god...

"Oh my god," Bokuto echoed in a pained groan. "You mean you--he didn't--you don't? Ah shit."

At that exact moment, they both heard the telltale sound of a key turning in the lock of the front door, and the last thing Kuroo heard was Bokuto's whimper before Tsukishima stepped inside.

Perceptive as ever (and bless him for it, Kuroo needed help), Tsukishima froze, recognizing something was indeed wrong with the expressions of both their faces.

Now, Kuroo knew he should've probably handled this situation gently, carefully. After all, it was a pretty big deal, and his boyfriend had just got him. Springing this on him out of the blue would surely just lead to madness. If Kuroo were in his right mind, he'd pull Tsukishima into his room, and calmly ask his questions.

Except, Kuroo was very much not in his right fucking mind.

His boyfriend was a mythical creature and how else was he supposed to handle that other than word vomiting all over the damn place?

"You're a siren?" Tumbled out of his mouth at the exact same time he heard Bokuto mutter a very pathetic "please don't kill me."

Tsukishima dropped his book bag, his fierce eyes flying to Bokuto like darts. "What did you do?!"

"I-I don't know! I thought you told him!" Bokuto lunged for a pillow, pressing it to his chest as if it had any chance of protecting him from sudden death.

"I never said that!"

"That's not my fault!"

"It's totally your fault! I was going to tell him once I got home," Tsukishima all but growled, his gaze murderous and his hands wringing the fabric of his sweater.

"Well...I guess I saved you the trouble? Ha..." Bokuto said, voice weak and trembling. A quick, painful second of tense silence was all Bokuto needed to make his final decision: fucking run for it.

"Well you guys have fun, I'll be back never," Bokuto shouted quickly, throwing his pillow into Tsukishima's arms to give him a head start, and promptly grabbed his shoes and slammed the front door behind him.

If Kuroo weren't so out of it, he might've congratulated him. He'd never seen a faster exit in his life.

Blinking in shock, Kuroo turned towards his boyfriend, with nothing else to do but wait. So many questions sat in his mind, yet none felt more important than the other, canceling out before one could dare leave his mouth. He'd just have to put his trust in Tsukishima, like he'd vowed to do, and have him lead the way.

Somehow, that thought alone made Kuroo's fear dissipate, only replaced with concern when he met his boyfriend's gaze. Tsukishima's expression softened as he finally looked to Kuroo. It held everything Kuroo had wanted, but some things he didn't. Love, consideration, but also fear and guilt. Those honey brown eyes he loved so damn much...were afraid of Kuroo's reaction.

And well, he just couldn't have that.

Getting up despite his shaky limbs, Kuroo crossed the small gap between them, grabbing Tsukishima's hand with no hesitation, and reveling in the way the blond pressed up against him. Yeah, he'd definitely missed that.

"Care to explain?" Kuroo asked, no venom detectable, and he grinned when he felt Tsukishima nod against his chest.

"Wait, but I don't get it. Why don't I like your singing?" Kuroo questioned about thirty minutes later while he sat in Tsukishima's bed, much more relaxed but still horribly confused. The tea Tsukishima had made him had long grown cold. He'd been way too caught up in all of Tsukishima's explanations to drink it. "Should I be all...ahh or whatever too when you sing?"

As if the simple "ahh" example hadn't been enough, he twisted his face into some ugly, lovestruck expression which had Tsukishima giggling beautifully. Honestly, that was the best sound in his book.

He watched as Tsukishima glared, the cutest blush lighting up his cheeks. A good sign.

The blond cleared his throat uncomfortably, fingers pulling at the loose threads of his comforter. His eyes were fixed on the various music posters which adorned his walls, or really, anywhere else that wasn't Kuroo's intense gaze.

Smirking softly, Kuroo wrapped his arms around his blond's waist, pulling him into his bubble. Tsukishima grunted, but didn't resist, and Kuroo grinned in triumph. "Tsukkiiiii, tell me..."

He punctuated each plea with a small kiss to Tsukishima's neck, while his fingers poked and prodded at Tsukishima's sides, and eventually the blond relaxed into the embrace. Although, he still remained quite huffy about it, but it was cute.

Pushing back on Kuroo shoulders, Tsukishima brought them face to face, eyes serious and grounding. Needless to say, he had Kuroo's rapt attention. "When...when you're a siren's...soulmate, the siren's song becomes physically painful."

Tsukishima's voice barely counted as a whisper, but Kuroo heard every word he spoke.

Soulmate.

Not waiting for Kuroo's shock to go down, Tsukishima continued. "Most sirens have soulmates, or...people that are supposed to be soulmates. Whatever. Point is, that first night, when I saw how much you hated my voice, I knew. That's why I don't sing in front of you, that's why it sounds so awful if I do. I didn't...I didn't want you to know--"

"Why?" Kuroo couldn't help but ask, a mix between confusion and joy settling in his stomach. Of course he'd be ecstatic, knowing he and Tsukishima were weirdly fated to be together, but it also felt...sort of wrong. He didn't like Tsukishima because of fate, he liked Tsukishima because...well, that list was too long.

This evening had been full of way too many surprises. Kuroo continued to be in awe, but his mind also remained in a frenzy. Sirens. Sirens, of all things, existed. And who knew what else existed out there in that big wide world? What did being a siren mean? How much was there to it? How many were there?

He was sure he'd find out. It was part of his life now, because it was Tsukishima's life, his identity. Kuroo's boyfriend was a mythical creature, and the fact had yet to truly settle. There was a lot he didn't know how to grasp or handle, but he was ready to be guided through it. One thing he did know though, was that he wanted Tsukishima by his side forever. That came directly from his heart and soul, fate be damned.

"Kuroo, I hate that word...soulmate. I don't like you because the universe told me I should, it's just because you're you. Irritating, dorky, you," Tsukishima explained, blushing as he forced the words out. Being this open probably didn't come easy to him, but Kuroo appreciated more than the blond would ever realize.

"Well, aren't you rude today," Kuroo said, pinching Tsukishima's nose. He was of course, swatted away. Maybe the statements were true after all...not that Kuroo planned on changing anytime soon.

"I mean it, so don't go overthinking again," Tsukishima sighed, his eyes flicking back down in shyness. "When we first met I wanted nothing to do with you, I'll admit. I was stubborn, I don't like believing things are out of my control. But, everything was so damn easy and nice and...with you, I..."

Tsukishima's words grew disjointed, and the blond glared at his hands, hating that he couldn't speak. But he didn't have to.

You didn't mind losing control when it came to this, did you?

Tsukishima didn't need to say it, Kuroo got the message, clear as day. He almost felt like he could be dreaming again, because no way had he gotten this lucky, having someone like Tsukishima fall for him.

Bringing Tsukishima into his arms, Kuroo sighed into the embrace. "Yeah, I love being around you too." It was easy, fun, right. Hell, he'd almost said he loved Tsukishima with everything he had, but bombs like that would be dropped in due time.

Right now, this was enough.

Pulling back, they shared a slow, deep kiss, and Kuroo couldn't believe he'd gone even a day without this feeling. Tsukishima, sighing against his lips, falling into each other perfectly.

When they separated, Kuroo couldn't help but laugh. "I'll admit, I still can't believe this. You're a siren. That's so cool!"

Tsukishima's smile fell into pure annoyance. "It’s not, trust me. It's just troublesome as hell, and there's nothing I can do about it."

"Well, I think it's great. I mean, it's part of you," Kuroo supplied, glancing around the room. Original song lyrics sat smudged on notebook paper at Tsukishima's desk, his iPod charged calmly at his bedside, and everything else in the room screamed music.

It was only fitting in the end, that Tsukishima's existence itself ended up so heavily tied to his passion.

"You can't actually mind it," Kuroo said, more a fact than a question, and he smiled when Tsukishima just scoffed, no disagreements on his lips.

They laced their hands together, and everything finally settled into peaceful silence.

...for a second anyways.

"Okay okay, so wait! If you're a siren, why are you a dude? I thought they were all girls? Is that fake? Are there girls?"

"Oh oh! Actually, how many other sirens do you know besides Bokuto?"

"Do all sirens have soulmates?"

"What would happen if you sang for a crowd of people? Like...would they all fall in love with you or are there levels to your power? Oh my god...are you considered a powerful siren? That would be so cool..."

"Oh, and--"

Tsukshima's hands slapped over his mouth, effectively ending his interrogation. Good thing too, he'd forgotten to breathe during it.

"Whoa okay, that's enough," Tsukishima said, smirking to himself. "I'll tell you everything eventually. Just...one at a time."

Slowly, Kuroo pushed Tsukishima's hands away, holding them in his own as he raised a brow in skepticism. "...promise?"

Humming, Tsukishima thought it over, eyes far too innocent to be believable. Cute brat. "Tell you what, you get five questions a day."

"Ten."

"Eight, and they can be in depth," Tsukishima negotiated, the amusement in his eyes making Kuroo's resolve crumble.

Eh, so be it. In the end, he still had what he wanted, Tsukishima's full and undeniable trust.

"Deal?" Tsukishima prompted, climbing to sit comfortably in Kuroo's lap.

And yeah, there was definitely no refusing an offer like that. Chuckling, Kuroo stole a kiss, the first of many more for the night. "Deal."

#kurotsuki #adri writing #haikyuuwriters #haikyuu!!

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mercydreaming · 3 years

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okay okay can I just say this without sounding like an asshole?? Rant about Godzilla vs Kong (2021) so spoilers.

I watched the King Kong vs Godzilla movie, right? didn’t think much of it, just that my family had been hearing about it and were interested in watching it.

the lights were off, the popcorn was popped, the pizza was cheesy, the website my sister’s boyfriend found it on was sketch. Life was pretty good. And like, I’ve seen the original King Kong movie, and the 2014 Godzilla movie (the first one was my sister’s favorite years ago, and I still have nightmares about the fucking insect pit scene; the latter being one of my favorite empty head movies to watch) but I hadn't seen the other recent movies that came before this one. the like 2019? 2020? Godzilla or Kong ones (I know they killed the original surviver with the watch in the Godzilla movie, and the skull island kong movie was all over the place) but I figured it wasn’t going to be a movie I really needed to know plot/backstory for right?? if it needed to know stuff, I'd get a brief heads up and maybe a flashback or throw away line to contextualize a scene. but I mean I didn’t think much cause it’s a movie advertising itself as a fucking fight between a lizard and a monkey; you're just watching to see who wins right? who really cares about plot or backstory?

but bruh, that being said, I was so fucking lost the first 20 minutes. It’s a pretty long movie. I don’t know how long necessarily but like a bitch’s leg fell asleep under her several times. and like, it felt long at times? and then weirdly short at other points? it just kinda felt off?

I mean, the fight scenes were good, I definitely thought they were super cool and well done (fight scenes can be done really awkwardly, so I was happy about the way these turned out), so from that standpoint I was satisfied. They (kong and Godzilla) had fights, they were in their own world or whatever, the eons of rivalry was gay but good for them. the ocean scene was super cool cause these bitches were just throwing their weight around with no regard for the lives in the boats and the explosions, the fires, the drama of will he drown!! (he dont) are all very !!! Edge of your seat worthy babyyyy, See who the first round of the fight goes to type of thing, Then the city fights between the two were like oh shit cause now kong’s got a fucking super powered hammer/axe thing?? that’s funky, I don’t fuck with it from like a “yeah that makes sense” perspective, but I liked it anyways. And then them teaming up to go against the Mechagodzilla?? that’s what’s up. (though, I like Godzilla so I was a bit annoyed by how almost weak they were making him seem?? sister liked kong though; she was pretty cool bout his strength level).

Overall, liked the fights. Round 1-ocean cruise, round 2-sightseeing around the city, round 3-teamwork makes the dream work. Very nice. was the teamwork a cop out so that the writers didn’t have to say who the actual victor was? oh yeah absolutely, but eh can’t fault them. love to leave room for viewer interpretation. (and cash grab sequels). but not really my issue with the movie,,

My issue was with the piss poor characters,,,like bruh I take back everything about “how important is plot/backstory to a lizard vs monkey movie?” bc turns out, really fucking important if the fights are gonna be super fucking spaced out and 2 min each.

Like gosh the humans in this movie were all so fucking annoying??? I mean, bruh, y'all do realize these being aren’t your friends, right? maybe they understand what some of y'all are trying to do, but like also dont overinflate your importance in their lives, you know? (forming alliances with a Titan, only to be shocked or “broken” when the alliance doesn’t work??) I understand that the thought it supposed to be “look at how these being are higher intelligence and how they can help us human against these other much more evil beings of higher intelligence. THeyre the good guys who like us!!” etc etc bullshit but ughhh it just was too fucking annoying in this movie.

Give me characters that I want to care about. give me a story where I will feel something for the characters when they're on the verge of death. make me wonder if they'll make it, make me wonder if they'll be happy. Im not really asking for much, even for a monster clash movie. Don’t try to fit so many characters and so much stuff into a action film, to the point where you just use stereotypes and character archetypes to fill in the main cast.

Don’t just give me Kong Dr: cares for gorilla, expert and owner of him; research dr: the guy who has to go take gorilla from a to b for research reasons; conspiracy theory guy, conspiracy theory teen who is empathetic to titan; rich man want power, etc.

I didn’t give a fuck about any of them, and neither did anyone in my family. I dont mean to be rude or mean or anything like that, but why were they all made so boring and cut/dry?? nothing urged me to care, and that sucked. maybe watching the other movies I would’ve cared but I also think a movie should make me give a fuck about characters, even if its the first in a franchise that im watching. I love movies where i can see a good character with a compelling story to tell. I like movies where I find myself going “huh, I hope they have their goals reached” (this can pertain to an antagonist too; make me satisfied with their defeat or eager for their impending victory; either works)

and yeah, I know the main characters are Godzilla and kong but they’re made to feel pretty much like accessories almost? just things to keep in the back of your mind (until they're fighting I guess) which also sucked cause I want to know more about them!!! give me good character scenes!!

Plot itself was also all over the place: the easy deciding on transferring kong made my family go ???? cause home girl acted like she owned him and made the final decision for what to do with him, as If one single person could have that kinda power. and then the entire point of moving him from a to b was so confusing cause like bruh, huh?? im still confused about what the boat to helicopter to going underground trip was even about? yeah sure it “made sense” for “keep the story going” reasons, but like if you knew Godzilla was gonna find him, why not just fly him the whole way?? Godzillas is in the fucking water, what made you think the fight was even remotely possible to work? and then the rich bad guy plot? and the flipping between the kong group and the “Godzilla is good” group sooo didn't work at all.

it was just too much going on and very little of it worked.

all that being said, I mean its not a horrible movie, the visuals are appealing at least. but yeah, dont rush to watch it, aint really worth it. watch it if you want, cant fault you for that. but really, just Watch the 2005 King Kong movie and the 2014 Godzilla movies instead, they’re a cheaper and a better use of your time.

#Godzilla vs Kong #movie rant #I just had to get it out there somwhere #godzilla #kong #movierant #long post #sorry bout that but I just had too much to say #if you dont agree I mean thats fine #its just my opinion

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samusgoeszoomzippy · 7 years

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My Thoughts on Metroid: Samus Returns

I’ve now played through the game on normal and hard mode, 100% each time, and I wrote down a lot of random thoughts I had as I played. Even though I have no real need to do so and I doubt anyone will read this, I’ve decided to organize them and toss them into the void of tumblr. This is in no way a review, just a random collection of thoughts. Obviously, major spoiler warning if you haven’t played.

SPOILERS BELOW!!!

Metroids The metroid were done really well, unlike the ones in the original, it’s a lot harder to just missile spam them. And they were a lot more challenging; embarrassingly enough, I actually died to the first Alphas, but that might’ve just been my lack of familiarity with the counter and gameplay over all. The Gammas are pretty fun too, and I thought the whole chasing thing was fun at first, and it didn’t really get old until the second playthrough, at which point it just went to being super annoying bc of its randomness. I like that they had both fire and electric varieties, I wish they would’ve carried that over to the other forms. The ZETAS are amazing, they were my favorite in AM2R and they still are, I really love how reminiscent they are of xenomorphs. And between yanking it off the ceiling, and the super extra counter sequence, it’s such a satisfying fight. And the last one actually really surprised me, I was fully expecting an Alpha, and then suddenly he jumped out of the background and I was SHOOK, I really appreciated it though. The Omegas were good too, but not anything too much more special, although his entrance was amusing to me for some reason, he runs in stomping, then he starts slamming his tail on the ground, he’s just a big ole baby! The melee counter in this fight is a bit too extra though, it was honestly kinda amusing, that slo-mo backflip haha.

Bosses The bosses are my only really complaint that I still have, I really wish there were more early on. But oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ They once they had were good enough. I’m glad you could still utilize bombs for the Arachnus fight, but he was still pretty basic, AM2R spoiled me lol, that fight was so amazing. I love the whole build up to the Diggernaut; I got that wonderful metroid feeling of figuring out where to go/what to do, because I didn’t have the grapple beam when I first found him in Area 3, and it took me some time to figure out what to do, but when I did, he SPOOKED me so hard, because I lowkey expected the fight to happen right then and I was NOT ready. And then with the chase, I thankfully hadn’t been spoiled on that, and although I could tell something was coming, I didn’t expect it at all, and it was so exciting. The actual fight wasn’t too bad for me, even though I died a lot because I struggled to dodge his attacks at first. I had already seen to use the spiderball during the fight, so I knew what to do when I first stunned him, but phase 3 had me STUMPED and I got that wonderful satisfaction of finally figuring it out (tip: you can spiderball the floor and be 100% immune to getting sucked up). The Queen fight was great too, I’m so glad they kept the bombig the stomach method (idk why they wouldn’t), and again they’re giving the spiderball more use!!! Unfortunately, I was spoiled on Ridley being in the game, but just his presence. The fight was really hard at first, but it’s actually so easy now if you just use beam burst and spam supers during the melee counters. It wasn’t anything too special in terms of Ridley battles, but I LOVE how my squishy son (or daughter or child or whatever lol) helps so much, he’s such a good baby :’)

Music After my first playthrough, the music was one of my few complaints. I felt like it was too dull and quiet (I still think it’s a bit too quite), but after playing through again, and seeing other people comment on it, I realize that it did a wonderful job of staying faithful to the original’s atmospheric beeps and boops, (just not quite as annoying lol) and I think it was actually a good decision to do that. Area 3’s “outer area” theme is a particular favorite, the steady beat in the background feels very foreboding, plus, you can hear some of those beeps from the original OST. I also really love how the took the final metroid nest theme and slowed it down so much, it’s so creepy and made me so exciting for what I knew was coming. And on that note, the music that plays on the way to the first Omega and the Diggernaut do that really well too. Regardless, I still feel like it could’ve benefited from more upbeat tracks, like the surface remix and area 7. The boss music is also so good, especially the Omega theme, and although it took me a bit, I’ve really come to love the new Queen theme; as much as I would’ve liked to see the original theme, I think this one is better and it does its job really well, plus it isn’t so repetitive. Also, I find it interesting that they remixed Arachnus’s theme for Diggernaut and made Arachnus a new theme, but I’m glad they did bc it was a bit too epic for Arachnus. Lastly, I’m so glad they kept the original title theme, but kinda “hid” it after the iconic metroid title theme, and also how they incorporated it in the credits theme, I felt emotional when that part of the credits theme played lol.

Graphics I know a lot of people are upset that this game was on the 3DS, but I think it still looks so amazing. The backgrounds are beautiful and so detailed, they make rooms look so deep, even without the 3D (which, while I think it definitely enhances that, it not really that crucial of a thing to have). All the random creatures they have in the background is such a nice touch, I just sat there and watched as that giant slug in Area 6 crossed the screen, it was amazing. And just in general, all the areas look so nice, but Area 7 is one that stood out, I was really surprised by how techy everything looked, I wasn’t expecting it, and the music was surprising too!! I had no idea that the music from the first trailer was actually in the game. And then just all the character graphics as well, the enemies look really nice, and Samus looks amazing, I really love the new gravity suit, especially the morph ball, I love just rolling around bc all the lines on it look so nice, plus getting it felt even more refreshing when moving in water than it does in other games, but it’s probably just in my head.

Vs AM2R Long story short, I can’t really rank them. They’re both very different games and each have different strong points and weak points. Samus Returns has better metroid battles, but AM2R has a lot more unique bosses that are fun. AM2R has a lot more fun, “memorable” tunes, but Samus Returns has good music that recreates the atmospheric feel of the original. Basically, I feel like in every way, it could be easily argued that either game has the other beat. (Another random note about the two, I really like that both of them reference Fusion in different ways.)

Other Stuff (Just some other things that I wanna mention that idk where to put) There are a lot of random little things I noticed that I appreciated, like how the morph ball kinda catches on ledges if you turn around as you’re about to fall off, the shattering effect when you melee frozen enemies, the fact that the metroid tanks seen in the chozo memories are still in the background in Area 7, the tornadoes on SR388 as Samus flies away that kinda resemble the metroid nuclei. Something I find funny is how to Autoads are very different in the original/AM2R and in Samus Returns, but in both cases they’re super annoying, just for different reasons. And the new spider bomb thing is so satisfying to just FLY across the room, and the spooky appearance of the 11th chozo memory, it actually freaked me out at first bc it was late and dark when it happened. And then of course the BABY THE BABY THE BABY!!!! I love that he’s in the ship with you once you beat the game, and I even more that you can take him all around the planet and he helps you solve puzzles and sometimes just lets you skip them lol. One last thing I wanna mention is the Scan Pulse; I think it’s a great edition for those who don’t wanna have to bomb every wall to find items, new players, or just players who does care able the exploration as much, etc., but I was determined to get through the game without using it, and I did! I got 100% on two playthrough and I never used it once (except once to test it out, but in an area that was already all filled in). It doesn’t really matter, but it’s something I was proud of, and in the end, Samus Returns was such an amazing experience and I really love this game.

#metroid #metroid Samus Returns #metroid spoilers #sorry for the super long post lol

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survivor-kuwait · 5 years

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Episode 14 - “Maybe i should be careful what I wish for nxt time” - Owen

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What the motherfucking ass shit was that. Who in their right mind would let it slip so that Ian/Devon would play an idol. And then Matt playing the idol, first of all wtf I didn't know he had an idol. But god damn that was messy. I'm shook that Maynor and I didn't get any votes in the revote, but wow that paints a target on our backs which is the last thing I want. It makes me feel great about where I'm at with the people I've been talking to and even those outside the alliance. So this is both good and bad but wow messy. Ahhhh I still don't know how to feel, but if that revote tied then maynor and i would've gone to rocks and been out since it would only be us and yeet there I go.

I feel super shitty for doing that to Corey. I don't even know if it was the right thing to do, but I didn't want to have to use my tiebreaker yet and if it had tied I was not about to let Timmy/Maynor go home. I never wanted to turn on Corey in this game but the way this merge has turned out ugh idk. I had to make a choice and I had to choose the group of people I feel comfortable with over the group of people I'm only tied to because of Corey. It was shitty all around. I'm sorry Corey, I know you're going to be mad at me but asdfkjhf fuck i love u :((( god im shit. okaythat was actually kind of crazy tho and I'm honestly a little happy it went down like that? two idols OUT OF HERE! and that ian idol couldve been so fucked up later on. matt's idol gone got me happy af too. I feel closer with timmy and maynor after this round and hopefully matt knows he cann trust me for not blowin up on him about his HIDDEN IDOL!!!! madison and I got closer a little this vote too. I'm glad she was on the same page as me. It's a little awkward to deal with the aftermath of devon and ian. especially with corey or cullan coming back.... cullan I can deal with but corey not so much. thats gonna suck. i still got my idol i still got my tiebreaker and a threat is still leaving either way. but now when the pieces rearrange next vote I gotta work hard to pull them together in my favor. kjDFHSKJSF goooooooooooooooooooooooood idk. that wa swild. i said at tribal that the game was gonna blow up soon. maybe i should be careful what I wish for nxt time lmao

Oh... WIG guess this tribal popped the hell awf. At the time of my last confessional I had no intention of playing my idol, but things were just so tense and quiet that I knew it should be done, but boy did I not know how badly it needed to be. Now I’m more scared than ever with like 3 pissed off people and all the eyes on me for having a secret idol. Guess it’s time for everyone to stop playing quiet, easy games, and time to go the heck crazy.

Annnnnd that was the worst possible outcome from that round. I inadvertently idol'd out my closest ally. My game could potentially be over, this very well be my first ever double digit placement in the 9 orgs I have played, but if I'm going out then it's not before I do the only move I got left. I've shared all my information I have been sitting on about Owen/Kait and by extension Matt, how they are aligned with Thomas and Madison. All I can do is let the others make informed decisions on how they think this game can be played best for them. If they choose to let the power team continue to run it for them then that's their prerogative. It's all I have left. At the very least I didn't go home with an idol in my pocket and I didn't burn it without needing to use it.

So last night, I wanted to die after the votes became 0-0. Me and Timmy had a 1/3 shot of going home but we some how managed to get zero votes against us. I felt really bad about voting for Corey. He was someone i really liked and was working with but we got to different sides. Now ian has some interesting info that Owen and Kait are part of an alliance with Thomas & Madison and also had devon and corey. Idk which side they are most loyal to because they sided with us this time but they could easily flip to other side if they wanted to. I need to keep an eye on them thats for sure.

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What the hell, 11 idols in play!? Like this twist is crazy. I want and need to find my idol. There is no excuse. I really need it to make sure im here after tribal. Like idk care who its getting votes as long as im safe.

I have so many feelings on this immunity challenge. Mainly I'm pissed because I don't have an idol clue because I got second so technically I didn't bite Chips so he didn't get a clue for me which sucks because like people like me I guess so I'm pretty much punished for that. As a result it could be easy to vote for me since I have a disadvantage in finding my idol since I don't have the clue. I'm scared because of that since what I learned after last tribal is spicy (and i'll make another confessional about that tomorrow) so I don't even know what to do at tribal and I'm just hoping it's not me. But I didn't give Thomas his clue so hopefully that will help me since he won't know where to look either so that's an advantage for me because I have absolutely no reason to give him his clue, we don't talk. I'm not going to help someone else while subsequently actively hurting myself. At times I also want to try looking at spots for other people to try and get their idol so I know that they won't have it...but that's just a maybe.

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I’m heated and I can’t even do much about it because of the nature of this round. Kait, Owen, and Matt think their sitting so pretty and I’m fucking sick of it. Here I thought I was doing well and hearing shit about them and now seeing it first hand is ridiculous. Owen is kind of slipping up with that trio and here’s why. Owen told me that kait and Matt found their idols, so I messaged both of them asking how their hunt is going. Kait hasn’t answered yet but Matt says “If I get up at 9am and guess every hour I’ll find it” because he’s “figured out the math”. Bitch i already know you have it and now you’re just lying to my face. Like we’re in an alliance together but I guess that doesn’t mean shit to you. I’m assuming Owen even probably has his idol and is lying to me. I feel so stuck because i can’t make a move this round due to the idols, but I’m probably going this round due to not having a fucking idol clue because of the bullshit this challenge was.

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OH OH KAIT JUST ANSWERED “no luck lol I suck” WOWOWOW AND SHE HAD EVEN SAID SHE WOULD HELP ME FIND MINE. Fucking fake people i can’t stand them.

THIS WHOLE IDOL THING GOT ME CRACKT OUT MY MIND LMAOOOOOO HSKSHDJDJDHD FORST OF ALL!!!!!!! I hate that tommy gave immunity to chips and not Timmy. Why wouldn’t tommy pick someone more likely to give him his clue????? Ugh. SECOND OF ALL. Literally fuck madison and Maynor for giving Devon and Ian their clues. What the fuck were they actually thinking !?!?!?!? Everyone with a clue is gonna find their idol unless they’re stupid or someone else finds it first so like.... idk I genuinely don’t get it. I think Maynor just wasn’t thinking and madison was tryna be social with Devon idek. I’m mad about it and it makes me want madison outta here. Not Maynor tho bc he’s precious and I luv him. Third thing why does Devon think I’m going to believe any guess he sends me nnnnnnn like he sent me matt and Kait random coordaintes that apparently weren’t it. I replied to Devon being like ‘e9 is miss too hehe’ and then realized I shouldn’t tell him where I’m searching and panicked and sent ‘omg typo meant r9 oops!’ Hskshdjdjdh Fourth KAIT FOUND MT IDOL SHSHDHD AND THEN WOULDNT GIVE UT TO ME AND I ACCIDENTSLLTNPOSTED ABOUT IT IN THE TEIBE CHAG AND KEPT IT THERE FOR A MINUTE IM SO STUPID. Literally started crying after. I’m like I can’t velieve I did that but if only my roommate hadn’t woken me up singing I’d still be ASLEEO RN AND NOT FUCKING UP. Or if Kait had just Given ME!!!! Oh my god like I’m rlly embarrassed and if they didn’t know Kait and I were tight before they sure do now! Tommy and Timmy are the only ones without clues. It’s kinda fucked that chips didn’t get a clue for Timmy grrrr. I rlly don’t want either of them to go but if I gotta I guess it needs to be Thomas. But I can tell Kait wants thomasnto stay....

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God I love when the dumb bitch disease flares up

Having idol make me happy, but I’m probably gonna end up losing a number, that being either Thomas or Timmy. I can’t even figure out who I want to go out of those two and I hope maybe Ian doesn’t have his? It’s very strange trying to come down from the last vote without really having the chance to vote anyone besides who’s available.

Honestly this challenge probably could not have come at a better time, just about everyone has their idol so people feel more free to talk since we're all "safe" but if Timmy goes instead of Thomas my game could still be in trouble. The beauty of this round for me is that I planted the seeds about Owen/Kait/Madison/Thomas alliance before the challenge even began, then they played it out exactly how they would and Timmy at least took notice. Timmy has become woke, that's why I absolutely need him to stay, I can't say for sure if Chips is on the wavelength but Maynor seems to be since he shared my clue, albeit late, but he did. I could still end up tenth but if that alliance burns to the ground then I have done what I needed to in this game. I also talked things over with Mateo, we might work together down the line, we might not. At the very least I expressed why I felt we had beef at the beginning of merge and that I was willing to turn a new leaf with him.

So this is a crazy round obviously. I really think the trio approach really helped but finding all those idols myself was crazy. Still don’t feel safe in this game for now, going to be a crazy night.

I’m so stressed!!! Like I don’t want to go home on a twist round, that already happened in Virgin Islands, like been there done that already. I have Thomas’ idol so I know he doesn’t have it, thank god. People are saying their voting Thomas, but I have no reason to believe them bc they have been lying to me so much. I only trust maynor so if I see after the season that he was lying to me...I’m going to be hurt, like genuinely hurt for a while because he knows how much I trust him. These past 2 rounds have been taxing on my stability and I want to make a move but with the nature of this round, i can’t.

There were barely any vote talk this round. I found my idol and Im playing it on myself. Im trying to find Timmy’s we only have 2 more guesses. Thomas is the target this round which okay with me because he hasnt been talking to me all that much so dont think he’ll be a good ally moving forward. This round has been not chaptic like last round.

So this vote has a lot for me to cover. Last time, I was voted out alongside Corey. However, after a 3 1/2 hour endurance challenge, I fought my way back into the game with an idol and a legacy only the jury know about! Coming back into the game there was a challenge which chips won immunity. There was also a twist where everyone had to search the grid for their own idols where I found mine and will be immune at tonight’s vote. From what I know, Thomas does not have his idol therefore will be the person I am voting for and hopefully he goes home and I don’t get blindsided again

in a shocking turn of events...... i love tommy so much i'm so sad at the prospect of him leaving.

Well I am very fucking pissed at the moment. Timmy wanted to keep the fucking idol clue away from me and I wasn't able to find a fucking idol. Now I am going to be going home because of it. I just got to get this off my chest, THIS SEASON HAS BEEN SHITTY! I love traditional Survivor gameplay and stuff like the warzone and the everyone gets an idol twist like Oprah gives everyone a car twist is unnecessary. Like what the fuck! I've been in several ORGs but, no offense to Alyssa, Johnny, and Monty, this has been the worse ORG I have been apart of. I was able to meet Kait, Maynor and Chloe but those were the only posituve things from this ORG aside from a few challenge ideas I got for my ORG. That is it. Peace y'all.

#survivorstarzone #episodes

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