#and it was 99% accurate to my actual day to day life if I recall correctly. most started out as diary entries lol. I just changed 1 thing

[sammusbird]

I wish more modern horror stories, movies, whatever focused on mental illness as horror. NOT mentally ill people, but the illness itself. I think it would be good to add as a spice to heighten the horror in classic slasher style stuff. I want to see more sympathetic and strong characters to navigate a world where their perception and needs are different than others. not in a superpowered way. I want our final girl to survive bc they fought harder, got luckier, and ran faster than the others. I want to see characters with more ‘ugly’ mental illnesses we are meant to love and root for and cross our fingers they don’t get kersploded! I want to see how specific struggles make being in a horror movie worse

[preemshots]

johnny + the nomads lore

alright, i know this is a screenshots blog but i'm going to go ahead and start dropping some juicy lore tidbits as i dig them up. part of what i'm doing outside of just photo diarying is shard hunting, and BOY is there a lot the game likes to hide in those little shards for idiots like me who like to read so we can write unnecessarily accurate fanfiction! 

full disclosure, i know jack shit about the TTRPG/cyberpunk 2020 rulebook except what i read in the wikis. 

so here’s my lore roundup so far of everything i know about johnny joining the nomads

we know johnny likes to narrate v’s quest objectives. here’s the first mention where he says it himself: 

during the voodoo boys quest "transmission" there's a shard in the maglev tunnels beside the ice bath, presumably from brigitte's research into johnny in the first place:

okay, so the timeline is this: johnny joins the nomads after trying and failing to rescue alt. johnny hides out in the badlands for some years. then he and rogue come back to night city and nuke arasaka tower help alt escape the arasaka subnet by uploading liberator to their network once and for all.

this ultimately makes sense. in alt’s flashback, we meet santiago, who is a nomad/connected to nomads, joins rogue and johnny when they're trying to get alt back, and eventually becomes the leader of the aldecaldos. 

part of santiago’s TTRPG lore is that he, johnny, and rogue have to lay low in the badlands with nomads after they storm arasaka headquarters (i am aware the game takes many liberties with the original lore so who knows the full accuracy of anything from the original rulebooks)

ENDING spoilers: in the rogue+johnny storming AHQ ending, it's revealed that rogue has a son while they're prepping for the job. if you eavesdrop on her calling him while you're at the afterlife, you hear her tell her son to (paraphrasing here) "pull over and look at the stars", which immediately made my brain go to: nomad, badlands, santiago = dad? maybe. (santiago also canonically has a son according to the TTRPG lore)

this immediately reminded me of another interesting shard that i believe you can find in multiple locations around night city: “"what REALLY happened in arasaka tower?“

i love this dang shard. at first i thought it was just a cute conspiracy with some juicy gossip (and i love how 99% of the shards that mention johnny in this game are reminding us that he's not a real rebel, he's a poser) but it brings some interesting shit together

one: it tells us where johnny got his hands on the nukes! he and the nomads jumped a militech convoy and jacked some bombs! 

which is never directly explained, even as saburo arasaka is interrogating him shortly before using soulkiller. very nice of johnny to protect his homies like that. 

...or maybe he didn’t. saburo emphasizes that the dead don’t lie like the living do, and we don’t know what exactly arasaka did to johnny’s construct in mikoshi. 

it also explains why the obvious media narrative is that militech nuked arasaka, a nice neat political bow to the end of the fourth corpo wars, which is an entire section of the TTRPG lore that makes my eyes cross when i read it. 

it also makes the star/nomads ending extremely interesting, because i originally believed it was the ending where V’s journey deviates the most from rewalking johnny’s path... which also has weird implications if the johnny’s nomad era is being kept from v. 

(this also leads into my belief that the star ending/the devil ending are narratively two sides of the same coin, but that’s a WHOLE ANOTHER POST for another day.)

TWO, just straight up the fact that they turned the raid where they actually obtained the nukes into an action flick BD that pretty much ANYONE could watch. who the hell was doing that?? 

well, who else other than the guy who johnny (optionally) punched the shit out of for filming alt's death: thompson, media guy, and according to rogue, “bad luck”. because you know, recording your crimes is straight up evidence that can be used against you.

during the alt flashback we meet thompson, and just after that in cyberspace before meeting alt, johnny tells v that he has no idea what happened to him and that they never worked together again. 

oh, johnny, you lying bastard man

this is blatantly untrue, and if V even had two braincells and better memory than a goldfish they'd know this--in the first flashback sequence where johnny and rogue nuke arasaka tower, thompson is on the comms as they ride the AV towards AHQ, questioning their plans and use of violence. 

which leaves me with some questions, like where the fuck is thompson, why does johnny keep lying about this, why doesn't johnny say almost anything about how you interact with the aldecaldo clan nonstop throughout the game when he himself may have been a member of the family for some time?? is he continuing to protect the nomad clan that saved his ass? we know that a lot of his flashbacks are unreliable at best, that johnny changes shit up as desired when presenting V with his memories.

in 2077, you can also find that there’s a remake of “badlands raid” in the shard “new release braindances” that is pretty much everywhere. that shard doesn’t add much, but does mention something along the lines of “many people don’t know the ending of the original” which probably means johnny punched thompson out for filming again, or something. 

my running theories: rogue ditched santiago and the aldecaldos with johnny and thompson to nuke arasaka tower, and when johnny died she was stuck looking for (heavily implied by johnny here:) corpo sellout ways to survive.

adam smasher obviously has something to do with this since johnny/rogue's vendetta against the guy isn't entirely clear beyond the smokescreen of "he killed johnny and he sucks". i have done 0 research into this though i'm tired of typing okay

i obviously cannot be certain i have found everything related to this in the game as i’m not even done with this playthrough where i’m trying to pay attention, but i hope this is fun for someone else to dig into. 

enjoy, fellow silverhand freaks

EDIT: additional findings

ALRIGHT I HAVE DONE MORE DIGGING AND I AM BACK WITH MORE NOMAD/JOHNNY FINDINGS. these ones are kind of a bummer but VERY interesting.

there’s a shard called “excerpts from a history of the nomads by bb pires” that goes into detail about how nomads came to be

there’s an interesting quote in it: It's hard to imagine a group less inclined to wandering than farmers, but in fact they were the ones who sparked the age of nomads. Natural catastrophes, crops ravaged by bioplagues, armed conflicts and martial law allowing corporations to speculate and privatize land - all this forced them into a life on the road.

when you ask johnny why he wants to take down arasaka, he begins by referencing this himself!!

it’s a little awkward to imagine a nomad V doesn’t also know what he’s referencing, but hey, V is the fool because we are as players and that’s only one life path... so sure.

johnny also has unique dialogue during this scene about a nomad origin V, telling them that he’s been trying to understand how V thinks, and came to the conclusion that “their family was a crutch” and essentially made them stupid because they always had a safety net (lmao johnny calling v privileged basically)

BUT this also may reference why johnny would find it confusing as hell that V doesn’t immediately share the views he does when nomads, in terms of values, seem to be more aligned with johnny than V is. but once again V is the fool for a reason and this is all my own speculation so YOU KNOW.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, at the end of chippin’ in, when you ask johnny what he meant by letting down his friends... santiago is named directly

i thought this was interesting since the only glimpse of their relationship that we get is seeing johnny meeting santiago via the alt flashback for the first time.

so now it’s obvious that while johnny and rogue were with the nomads their friendship developed, and johnny went on to disappoint santiago in some way by being his normal dickhead self

but HOW? how did he disappoint santiago? is santiago even still alive?? did smasher kill santiago and is this why rogue mentions during chippin’ in that she wants smasher to “settle a score” moreso than avenge johnny??

the only additional hints i have are from this shard, which you can find at the aldecaldos camp: “nomads at ground zero”

i’m just gonna transcribe here and bold for emphasis:

It was no secret that Night Corp offered generous pay and, in some cases, free cyberware and biomonitor upgrades to anyone willing to help clean up the crater of radioactive rubble at AHQ ground zero. Some firsthand accounts recall the incessant ticking of Geiger counters, like the loud buzz of cicadas in summer. In retrospect, we can only guess how many "crater cleaners" lost their lives to radiation sickness shortly thereafter. Both the city government and Night Corp have claimed casualties were kept to a minimum, while providing no official statistics to substantiate the claim. That being said, they have never been under pressure to release such figures. After all, most rescue, engineering, and rubble cleanup teams were not local Night Citizens, but nomads. Surprised you didn't know? Don't be. It is a fact many history courses tend to overlook. The city employed hundreds of nomad mercenaries, primarily from clans in Aldecaldo nation. These nomads were hungry for gainful work and the city needed experts who were not only experienced but brave enough to knowingly put their lives on the line - all so Arasaka could one day erect another tower in its place. But history is not without its sense of irony. These nomads, who so deliberately live outside our so-called "system," came to its very rescue. Not for the first time. And not for the last.

a main theme we find in this game is the idea that the system of corps and exploitation cannot be stopped by grandiose rebellious gestures--no amount of samurai songs, assassinating mayors, or even planting nukes in towers will change things. yet johnny, his friends and mercs at atlantis in the 2020s, including rogue, chose to rebel any way they could, thinking it better than not. johnny criticizes her lack of rebellious spirit CONSTANTLY in 2077.

but ultimately, johnny, trapped in mikoshi, didn’t get to see the outcome of what detonating the AHQ nukes did to night city’s fragile ecosystem. rogue, however, did--and likely watched their former allies, the aldecaldos, be forced to take dangerous work at AHQ’s ground zero (from lack of other opportunities as detailed in this shard), then die from radiation sickness throughout the following decades, all as a result of what she and johnny did to try and fight the system. and she also watched all the former mercenaries of atlantis be hunted down by arasaka.

so rogue sees firsthand what the cost of rebellion is and johnny doesn’t. and nomads, considered the most free of any of the factions we encounter in the game, are the cost.

[nostalgiaispeace]

1668.

1.      What is your idea of perfect happiness? being content

2.      What is your greatest fear? losing people i love

3.      What is the trait you most deplore (dislike) in yourself? lol everything

4.      What is your greatest extravagance? i don’t really have any?

5.      What is your current state of mind? tipsy

6.      What do you consider the most overrated virtue? i’m not sure

7.      On what occasion do you lie? like never

8.      What do you most dislike about your appearance? everything

9.      Which living person do you most despise? the man who assaulted me

10.  What is the quality you most like in a man? my husband

11.  What is the quality you most like in a woman? -

12.  Which words or phrases do you most overuse? “like”

13.  What or who is the greatest love of your life? my husband

14.  When and where were you the happiest? not sure

15.  Which talent would you most like to have? dancing

16.  If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? less sensitive

17.  What do you consider your greatest achievement? i’m not sure

18.  If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? a cat

19.  Where would you most like to live? english countryside

20.  What is your most treasured possession? my stuffed frog

21.  What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? depression?

22.  What is your favorite career? psychology

23.  What is your most marked characteristic? idk

24.  What do you value most in your friends? trust

25.  Who are your favorite writers? JK Rowling and Stephen King

26.  Who is your hero of fiction? Harry Potter

27.  Which historical figure do you most identify with? Marilyn Monroe

28.  Who are your heroes in real life? Lana Del Rey

29.  What are your favorite names? i don’t really have any

30.  What is it that you most dislike? life

31.  What is your greatest regret? lol

32.  How would you like to die? by my own hand

33.  What is your motto? i don’t have one

34.  Do you like watching reruns? sure

35.  Have you ever won any kind of contest yourself? yes

36.  What gives you cheap thrills? buying stuff

37.  What do you think is worth waiting for? love

38.  Are you an organ donor, if so why/why not? yes because might as well help someone if i can

39.  Should parenting classes be mandatory for new parents? yes

40.  What is the number one thing people are always asking you for help with? idk

41.  What movie did you love the original but hated the sequel to? i’m not sure

42.  Are you more talk and less action or vice versa? more talk

43.  Have you ever given someone a handmade present? probably

44.  What type of person angers you the most? selfish

45.  Could you live without electricity for a week? maybe

46.  Do you think Great Britain should be a part of a united Europe? i dunno?

47.  Have you ever eaten a whole tube of pringles by yourself? yeah

48.  Do you like champagne, if so, what is your favorite brand? no

49.  What nervous habits do you have? biting my nails

50.  What do you do when you and your best friend get into a fight? we don’t

51.  What do you think should be a wonder of the world that currently isn’t? idk

52.  What comforts you on bad days? books

53.  Do you treat yourself and your body with respect? not really

54.  Something you eat that other people would find gross. idk

55.  Have you ever broken the law and didn’t get caught, if so how? i speed alot so i guess

56.  Something you fear might change you. idk

57.  What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you? selfishness

58.  Have you ever resented someone, if so what for? i mean i’m sure i have

59.  Do you have a favorite t-shirt, if so what’s on it or what does it say? not really

60.  How old do you think is too old to have a baby? idk?

61.  How have you changed over the last five years? well, yeah

62.  Have you ever painted a house? Not that i recall

63.  Have you ever had a surprise party (that was an actual surprise)? no

64.  What makes you feel miserable? me

65.  What’s the best costume you’ve ever worn? hermione

66.  What’s been the hardest loss you’ve had to take? my grandpa and cat dying

67.  Do you like sunny days or rainy days more? depends on my mood

68.  What does your typical Friday night look like? chilling

69.  Who is your favorite movie director and what’s your favorite movie from them? omgsh i have so many.....i’m just a film nerd

70.  What is the furthest you’ve ever got a paper airplane to fly? idk

71.  Do you like the person you are becoming? not really

72.  What’s the highest you’ve ever jumped into the water from? idk

73.  What inspires your ideas? movies or books i would guess

74.  Have you ever assembled furniture by yourself? not that i recall

75.  Have you ever bolstered your resume to get a job you really wanted? no

76.  How emotional are you? very

77.  Have you ever had an internship, if not what would be your dream intern job? idk

78.  Do you prefer chicken, beef, or seafood? beef

79.  Have you ever had a health scare? no

80.  What do you love most about the holiday season? films

81.  Do you think a fling could be a good thing? not for me

82.  What part of your routine do you always try to skip if you can? i need my routine

83.  What do or did you hate the most about dating or the dating process? i don’t remember

84.  What do you frown upon when it comes to raising kids? throwing an ipad in a kids face

85.  Have you ever been professionally photographed? yes

86.  Where or how do you find serenity? idk

87.  Do you influence people more than they influence you? i hope not

88.  What can you do to make your life better? probably a lot of things

89.  If you could ask one person, alive or dead, only one question, what would you ask? Marilyn...how

90.  What is your favorite hiding place? i don’t have one

91.  Do you buy anything organic, if so, what is it? not really. too expensive

92.  Describe yourself in terms of food. no

93.  How could you reinvent yourself? idk

94.  What was the name of the first album you ever bought and who was it by? baby one more time OR NSYNC

95.  What is your Chinese zodiac sign and is the description accurate? i just know i’m a capricorn that’s it.

96.  Do you have any prejudices you’ve admitted to yourself? i don’t think so

97.  Who is the very first friend you ever remember making and how old were you? Jordan at 7

98.  What makes you lose sleep? anxiety

99.  What are three phases or sayings you say almost every day? “i love you” is all i can think of

100. Do you floss or use a toothpick when food gets stuck in your teeth? I floss

[thedefinitionofbts]

Of Stardust and Spacetime (6)

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 (Final)

Pairings: Jeon Jungkook x Reader | Kim Seokjin x Reader

Genre: Scifi, Angst, Fluff/Romance, Comedy

Words: 4.3K

Description:

On clear nights he looks up at the sky, and he can still see you. He can see the image of you transcending alternate universes tied together by iridescent ribbons, passing through the iron cores of distant stars, and sliding across Orion’s belt to meet him in that magical place between the stratums of space and time. And he can remember that you existed, and that you stood next to him, just like this.

Our happiest moments are never those during a certain occurrence. They are the times when we are imagining what a certain happy moment will feel like, the stage when we are anticipating that outcome of happiness before it actually happens.

“I would suggest looking into Quantum Consciousness” Jimin is the first to speak after the period in which they were all listening very intently to Jungkook’s story that he was barely able to explain without sounding insane.  

“Consciousness…” Yoongi makes a disgusted face, shaking his head and sighing. Like most theoretical physicists, the young professor cringes every time the topic of consciousness is brought up in the context of understanding the universe. He’s not too keen on the idea that the purely material world of physical matter would depend so heavily a purely immaterial phenomenon such as consciousness.

Jimin laughs, throwing his head back and carding a hand threw his fluffy blond locks. “Please excuse that reaction.” He smiles as he directs the statement to Jungkook, who was looking very uncomfortable to have revealed so much about something most people would have a hard time accepting, let alone, telling others about. “Professor Min is not a huge fan of anything to do with consciousness.”

Taehyung furrows his brows. “Quantum Consciousness...what is that exactly?”

“I’m glad you asked.” Jimin replies, sliding over to the chalkboard. “You’ve all heard of Schrödinger's cat, right?”

“Cats…” Yoongi mutters again in the background, for no apparent reason other than the fact that he knew his cat loving assistant would grab at any chance he got to bring up those furry little animals and make it extremely relevant to context.

“The one that is dead and alive at the same time?” Jungkook chimes in, recalling the famous thought experiment devised by an Austrian physicist nearly a century ago.

“Mmmhm” Jimin affirms, smiling impishly. “Matter is 99% empty space, and quantum particles have no dimensions.” He uses a piece of chalk to draw a bunch of random dots on the black slate. “Quantum particles have a property called superposition, meaning they can be in two places at one time.”

“How is that possible?” Taehyung cuts in, not that he’s never heard of the concept before. It was more of a question born from his lack of understanding.

Jimin pauses, biting his lower lip as he decides how to explain such an unintuitive concept. “Microscopically, all particles exist in a probabilistic state. We call this the probability cloud.” He smudges all the tiny dots he previously drew on the chalkboard to aid in the visualization of this “cloud”. “They are not in a specific position but rather in every possible position in space as a probability. Mathematically we can calculate this probability with a wave function.”

“Are you implying we’re going to have to do a lot of math?” Jungkook groans, tilting his head up and squeezing his eye shut in agony.

“Dude, you’re studying to become a theoretical physicist and you can’t even handle a little math?” Taehyung reaches over and pats his shoulder. “Must be tough man.”

Jungkook doesn’t verbally respond, but instead only groans again.

Jimin giggles bubbly. “The math has already been proven, so don’t worry about that part. The main point I’m building to is the fact that this wave function is said to collapse from the collection of possible states into just one when an observation is made in the macroscopic world. In other words, particles in the universe do not physically exist in a definitive state until they are observed by a conscious being.” Jimin turns around to see if Jungkook and Taehyung are following his line of logic, only to find that both of their faces are conveying varying degrees of confusion.

Yoongi lets out another one of his signature sighs and walks over to Jimin. He slowly takes the piece of chalk from the younger male’s hand and places it back in its original position before turning to face the two befuddled students. “Outside of our consciousness, the world remains in a probabilistic state. Nothing is set in stone. Any thing is possible.” He pauses, letting his audience soak in the points he just made, a technique he practiced as an instructor of higher education. “Once a conscious being, like you or me, decides to view the world, we retrieve information from our surroundings creating the now moment- the present reality that we see right before our eyes. Now what do you think that means?” He directs the question to Jungkook, who was beginning to understand what his professor and TA are trying to get at.

Jungkook clears his throat tautly. “Reality is dependent on the observer.”

Yoongi nods calmly. “Your mind can alter the probability distribution of unobserved states of matter, and by doing so, it essentially chooses what to perceive from the options provided by the aforementioned probability cloud.”  

“Whoa…” Taehyung gasps in realization.

Yoongi smiles proudly for the first time. “Consciousness determines the fate of your reality.”  

 …

 Jungkook will never forget the day he got into college and a surprise visit from you.

The college part was self-explanatory. He had been studying his ass off for the entrance exams and keeping his grades up for the past four years of his high school career through blood, sweat, and tears. It was tough being a star athlete and valedictorian, but they don’t call him golden for nothing.

He was happily walking home from school ready to share the good news with his family, enjoying the sunny spring weather and the cool breeze that swirled by. He’s satisfied with the content feeling settling in his stomach, but he’s secretly wishing that he could get a chance to tell you first, or that you would come to him as a reward for doing so well and working so hard. That would make everything about this day perfectly complete.

To his delight, he hears the voice of the exact person he had made a wish to see. The familiar melody of your speech makes his body tingle with excitement.

“Jungkook” You shout, waving at him even though he can’t see you. You’re glad however that he can sense your presence.

He turns around, lips forming that blissful smile of recognition. “Wow, you did come!” He gasps, pupils beaming with enthusiasm.

“You seem extra happy today” You comment, taking note of how much he was smiling today, not that he didn’t smile a lot before, it’s just today it seemed like his lips were permanently curved upward.

He giggles, eyes crinkling at the edges. “I am,” He chirps. “I got my acceptance letter to university and I get to see you.”

“Wow, you’re already going to university?” You take a moment to ponder over how quickly time has passed for him, how it feels like he was just a pre-pubescent teenager not long ago. “How old are you?”

“18” He answers. “You said you were 19 when I was thirteen right? That means….you’re…” He uses his fingers to count; math was never his strong suite. “24?”

“Actually I’m only 20.” You reply, remembering that he doesn’t know time seems to progress differently for the two of you. You had always been able to tell he was aging rather quickly by his rapidly maturing physique alone, and had forgotten that he didn’t have the luxury of viewing your physical appearance as you did his.  

Jungkook’s eyes widen considerably, a habit of his when he’s surprised or in shock. “You age differently?” He inquires in an astonished tone.

“I don’t think it has to doing with an aging disparity, but rather a time one.”

He cocks a brow in puzzlement. “A time discrepancy? What do you mean?”

You don’t know how to explain it accurately; after all, you had no idea what was going on either. “I’m seeing you at different stages in your life, and for me, they seem to be non-consecutive.” Your statement doesn’t really elucidate anything, and you’re afraid the revelation will turn into a cause of concern for him as well, the very one that you have been plagued with for quite a while now. Not to mention, there was that one other thing you hadn’t told him yet, the one about you being from the distant past. You don’t know why you’re so reluctant to tell him, but you think it might have to do with not actually having all the answers yet, or maybe there’s more to it than that, but you decide it’s best to hold off on complicating things.

“That’s weird,” He notes, snapping you out of your reverie. “That means I’ll be older than you soon!” He giggles again, nose scrunching up in the most adorable way possible.

You’re so stunned by his unexpectedly animated reaction that you can’t even verbally respond. It was something so drastically different from the troubled thoughts you were afflicted that you find yourself caught completely off guard. You don’t even know how long you stare at him bewildered before he speaks again.

“Y/N?” He tilts his head in your direction, wondering why you weren’t responding. “Are you ok?”

“Y-yeah” You manage to answer, eyes still glued on the spirited young man.

“Does being younger than me make you that unhappy?” He jokes, as a tiny smirk forms over his previously innocent smile. His untainted eyes remain blameless though.      

You don’t understand why the way he’s looking at you makes you want to envelope him in your arms, and hold him as tightly as you can. But it’s always that same feeling of knowing that no matter how much you long to, you will never truly be able to hug him with firm, unwavering arms made of solid physical matter that stops you from inching towards him. You will probably never get over such a cruel limitation, but seeing his jubilant smile was enough, and even if it wasn’t, you just need to keep telling yourself it was.  

“Of course not!” You reply as you sweep aside your own wallowing. “It was just awkward being so much older than you when you were still underage.” The statement is not entirely true because you found him absolutely adorable as a child, but it is considering how you see him now. Back then being with him was like taking care of a younger brother, now it’s….you shake your head before your face overheats at the inappropriate thought.

“Underage?” His smirk gets bigger. “Does that mean you and I-”

“No!” You interrupt before he can finish. If your face was on the verge of overheating before, it’s now burning in flames. For the first time ever, you’re glad he can’t see you physically or you’d be dying of embarrassment in that moment. “Don’t put words in my mouth. I meant, now I-I don’t have to play the role of b-babysitter.” Your stuttering gives everything away, but Jungkook doesn’t call you out directly.

“Whatever you say~,” He sings with a tinge of skepticism.    

 …

 Figuring out how to explain a phenomenon that has yet to be fully proven is tough. Applying it to something that might not be real in the traditional sense is nearly impossible. Jungkook is lucky Taehyung is still willing to be his partner.  

“God this is so hard!” Taehyung releases a maddened groan, running both hands through his silvery locks. His mind was running on overdrive, and there were too many intricacies that he just couldn’t piece together.

“Dude, are you ok?” Jungkook raises his right brow, looking at the older male with questioning eyes. He would be concerned by such an exasperated utterance, but said male was always a rather vocal type of gamer, so this in comparison wasn’t too out of the ordinary.  

“Time, time, time. It doesn’t make sense!” Taehyung exhales heavily, looking like he’s going to toss his laptop across the room.

The two of them were in one of the empty study rooms the physics building, a relatively secluded place due to the fact that so few students opt to major in physics these days. They’ve been reading paper for the past few days, brushing up on the basics of Quantum Mechanics, Particle Physics, General Relativity, and to Jungkook’s dismay calculus, linear algebra, and probability theory. It would’ve been pretty dull and tedious had Jungkook not been so determined to find answers to the mystery of you. He also knows that same paradigm could be applied to the past twenty years of his life. Did he really like physics? Sure. But would he really be dedicating this much of his life studying it if there wasn’t something important on the line? Probably not.

“Professor Min did say time was complex.” Jungkook softly reminds, understanding why his partner is so frustrated. He’s reminded of how he almost put up a fight to avoid math, but realized soon enough that would not be reasonably possible. “But what does time have to do with quantum consciousness?”

Taehyung points a finger at the article pulled up on his computer screen. “It says here that the way we can perceive physical space is by the time it takes for light to reach our eyes. You know, like how people say looking at the stars is like looking in the past?”

Jungkook frowns but bobs his head in acceptance.

“Well it’s also saying that time is meaningless without a conscious entity to perceive it. Doesn’t that sound a lot like those quantum particles that aren’t real until we look at them?” Taehyung exasperates. “Ok, maybe I should just stop reading this article. It’s probably useless anyways.” He huffs, shaking his head as closes the tab.

A hush of taciturnity hovers over the room. Taehyung continues staring as his screen but not actually processing any of the information his visual cortex is receiving. A bird flies by outside. It’s shadow flashes across the room as its minuscule body temporarily blocks part of the sun’s light cascading through the dusty glass windows.

Jungkook doesn’t speak for a few minutes. He isn’t thinking about time or physics anymore because the information you revealed to him the last time he saw you makes its way to the anterior of his mind. “Tae?” He murmurs.

“Yeah” The other male responds, not really paying too much attention because he was too busy absentmindedly scrolling through a list of other scientific papers that came up on his web search.  

“I saw Y/N again a couple of days ago.” Mentioning you as if you were a real person still feels a bit strange to Jungkook, but he’s gotten used to it more or less.

After all, he’s basically told the world, ok, maybe not to that extreme of an extent, but it sure felt like every person around him knew. And to be completely honest, he’s only able to speak so freely about you around Taehyung because he’s sure the older male won’t judge. If he did, neither of them would even be here now. Taehyung had agreed to dedicate the entire semester solving the mystery of you with Jungkook, so that had to mean he didn’t mind, right?

Jungkook exhales as he ensues with what he was going to say. “This time I was able to see her physical form completely, and it really felt like she was real. She was telling me how she feels less and less rooted on her home planet, and more and more like she belongs here. I don’t know…I’m starting to think that she can only fully exist in one place, and if it’s wrong for me to even have thoughts of wanting to bring her here or if something bad might happen if I don’t stop actively trying to perceive her. And if by consciously searching for her, I’m putting her in danger. ”

“Are you scared?” Taehyung turns away from his screen and faces Jungkook.

The younger male shakes his head dejectedly. “I should be, shouldn’t I?”

There’s another long moment of silence as neither of the two make any noise. The afternoon sunlight was still filtering through the age encrusted windows of the old physics building, and the elongating shadows of the trees outside were swaying gently from the wind.

“Have you told her how you feel about her?” Taehyung voices softly, breaking the reticence.

“I want to.” Jungkook switches his fixation to the scene outside the window. “But I’m going to try and figure this all out before I do.”

  “I can vaguely understand why he is able to interact with your consciousness, but I fail to fathom how he would be able to see you physically.” Namjoon furrows his brows after listening to your most recent account. “There’s no way particles could actually configure into your complete physical form with such a small amount of information, especially not with the fact that the parcel has yet to even reach Earth.”

“I was shocked too.” You murmur, staring down at your hand that still retains the sensation of holding his hand for the first time. How warm he felt, how perfect that pause in time was. It felt so real. He felt so real. 

“Unless…” He trails off, but you barely notice he’s even talking. “Consciousness is not constrained by time…”

You have a flashback to the way Jungkook’s eyes had effusively soaked in the image of you as he took your hand in his. You relish in the memory of the slight tremble of his fingers as he gently swept them across your own before interweaving his being with yours and giving you a light squeeze that sent shock waves up your arm.

Then everything goes black.

 When your vision steadily returns, you see Jungkook’s obscure figure leaning against the railing of his apartment’s balcony as the crisp morning air tousles his fluffy bangs. The area is still dark, but you can tell the vibrant rays of yellow are steadily beginning to lighten the sky.

“Jungkook?” You whisper, timidly moving closer to where he was standing. It feels so dreamlike you have a hard time believing it’s real, but the moment he turns his head at the sound of your voice, gaze landing on yours, you know without a single doubt that it is.

“You’re here” He smiles faintly, clearly still half asleep.

“You were waiting for me?”

“I always am” He responds, reaching out to intertwine your hand with his once again, pulling you nearer to him until you can sense the undiluted warmth of his body. It somehow seemed so natural; it makes you wonder how many times he’s actually done it. But this is only the second time, isn’t it?

To your relief, you don’t flinch this time, choosing instead to drop your gaze and be consumed by the image of your hand laced with his. You wouldn’t have believed how tangible his soft skin was if it weren’t for his firm grip and the muted pulsing of his heart pumping blood to his hand. Your eyes flutter up to his face, and you see that his attention is fixated on the scene unveiling before the two of you.

You allow your own observation to mimic his as you trace the mountain range hiding the light that is about to fill the sky. The opaque wisps of water vapor twisting and wrapping themselves around the jagged peaks, veiling them in a thin layer of ivory that slowly dissolved as the warmth of the rays originating from below the horizon vaporized them.

“I’ve always wanted to watch the sunrise with you” He murmurs affectionately as he turns back to face you.

You eyes snap back to look at him. “Can you see me right now?”

He nods, eyelids still droopy but pupils containing a sort of depth that entire oceans would envy.  

“You’re so beautiful.”

 “Y/N!!”

“Y/N, Y/N!”

Namjoon’s face is the first thing you see through your squinted eyes as they adjust to the lights of the astronomy lab.

“W-what happened?” You mutter, trying to clear your vision and the all too familiar throbbing in your head. 

“You fainted….again” He replies. “I think something’s not right.” Namjoon’s voices it as if he had just begun to notice when in actuality his concern has been growing exponentially. “We absolutely cannot continue overlooking this.” His tone towards you is unusually stern.

“W-what do you mean?” You ask, sitting up wobbly and pretending like you haven’t noticed how frequent your fainting spells have become and how each time you faint, you’re able to be with Jungkook.

“You were out for almost an hour.” Namjoon shakes his head. “I was almost tempted to call an ambulance.”

“That long?” You head immediately whips over to the clock hanging on the wall. Indeed, you were supposed to meet up with Seokjin 45 minutes ago. He was probably worried sick. “Shit, I have to go!”  

 ���

 Kim Seokjin’s exasperated expression is the initial thing you that greets you when the elevator doors open. He doesn’t look angry per se, but he is most certainly not pleased.

“I’ve been waiting for over an hour!” He complains, following you as you walk past him not really in the mood to provide him an explanation.

“Well, I’m here now, aren’t I?” You don’t know why you’re responding so indignantly. You were the one who was late, and he had been the one waiting.

He’s understandably not the least bit entertained by your attitude. Honestly, who would be? “What happened?” He grabs onto your wrist as the two of you step outside the building.

“I fainted.” You avoid his gaze as the truth spills out of your mouth for the first time. You hadn’t told him about your fainting spells, much less the thing about you losing consciousness more and more frequently, for longer and longer periods of time as well.

“And you’ve been hiding all of this from me?” He isn’t oblivious to the way you look sick every time you leave Namjoon’s lab, but he didn’t want to squeeze that kind of information out of you, knowing that force is never the answer. He had hoped you would be sensible enough to bring it up yourself, wanting to give you room and time to open up to him, but today he just couldn’t hold back any longer. “How long has this been going on?” He demands, not letting go of his grip.

You contemplate on telling him it’s only a recent happening, but ultimately decide that’s not your best option. “Since the beginning.” You confess, knowing that Namjoon wouldn’t even stand back and watch in silence the next time you lose consciousness for almost an hour. What if you’re rendered into a state of vegetation permanently? The thought sends a shiver down your spine.  

“It’s because of him, isn’t it?” He avoids your gaze as he says it, letting go of your wrist and choosing instead to allow his line of sight to graze the silhouette of the city’s skyline as Solaris sinks behind a cluster of tall buildings. A waft of air glides by, tickling a few loose strands of his hair.

“It’s not that simple.” Laced with irritation, you close your mouth and bite your bottom lip the second the words escape. You knew you were just responding on reflex, not wanting to make this whole thing seem so trivial, for the reason to be as simple as you having naively developed feelings for someone millions of light years away. But something inside was telling you it was that simple, that Seokjin was right in believing you were letting all of this take over you because of someone you could never be with.

“Y/N” He turns back to look at you, and it was in that moment that you realized you’ve been blind all this time. Blind to the way he gazes at you, and only trusting in his own lies of seeing you as no more than a sister. “I can’t say I know how you must feel, but I know it’s not that simple. It never is.” His voice is barely above a whisper.

You’re hit with a pang of guilt at his words. Why were you acting this way? Making it seem like it was his fault or something when in reality you have no right to blame any of this on anyone but yourself. “I-I’m sorry,” You utter, dropping your gaze dejectedly.

“Why are you apologizing?” He cups your cheek and wipes away a small tear that had unknowingly slid down with the pad of his thumb. “You’ve done nothing wrong.”

“Ugh, I’m being so stupid.” You sniffle, covering your embarrassed face. “This is so ridiculous.” How far could you have gone anyways? What was the best outcome of these precarious escapades? You splitting yourself in half, merely to partially exist in two places separated by 50 million light years? Or would you just end up not existing at all?

Seokjin only smiles gently, and you almost miss the twinge of heartache in his eyes. “You’re feelings are never ridiculous.”  

His words pierce through the barrier that had prevented you from evaluating the situation with rational thought. It was then you decided something must be done, that you can’t continue like this any longer, putting yourself in danger and hurting the people who you care about the most.

You had to tell Jungkook that the space between the two of you cannot be traversed no matter how hard either of you tried. This was no way to live your life. You were risking so much just tinkering with your illusions and attempting to find a way to break the laws of the universe, tearing your consciousness apart at the seams, and reaching towards something that was never meant for you to begin with.

...

[rlyoshi]

120 Questions

So this is a thing I discovered and decided to do because why not.

1. Name: Maxwell Allan 2. Nickname(s): Max, RLYoshi, Kidsquid, various puns utilizing the word “max” 3. Birthday: December 30th, 1996 4. That makes you: 20 years old 5. Where were you born: Westlock, Alberta 6. Location right now: Carleton Place, Ontario 7. Shoe size: 13 8. How many piercings?: None 9. Tattoos?: Currently none, planning to get one or two in the relatively near future 10. When you wake up you’re: Groggy and irritable 11. When you’re about to sleep you’re: Probably not actually gonna fall asleep anytime soon 12. Zodiac sign: Capricorn 13. Chinese sign: Rat (really?) 14. Righty or Lefty: Righty for almost everything, but I’m ambidextrous for some mundane things 15. Innie or Outie: Innie 16. School: Caldwell Street Public School (elementary/middle), Carleton Place High School followed by TR Leger (high), Durham College (a single year of post-secondary) 17. Nationality: Canadian 18. Hair color: Brown 19. Weight: Don’t know and don’t want to find out 20. Height: 5'11″ 21. Braces?: No 22. Glasses?: Yes 23. Do you have a boy/girlfriend?: Not at the moment 24. If so, who?: N/A 25. If not, do you have a crush on someone?: Eh, not really 26. Who has a crush on you?: How would I know? 27. Ever cheated on your bf/gf?: No 28. Who was your first kiss: Haven’t had a proper one yet 29. Who was your last kiss: See above 30. Are you a virgin?: Yes. Did you expect otherwise? 31. Ever had a threesome before?: No, and I don’t plan to 32. Have you ever been in love?: Yes 33. Broken any hearts?: Doubt it 34. Got your heart broken?: Nope, besides mild and brief sadness whenever I got rejected when asking someone out 35. Ever liked a friend?: Yes 36. What happened?: First one led to a half-year relationship that fell apart because we really didn’t match. Second one led to a long-distance relationship that just collapsed because…well, long-distance relationships don’t mesh well with me. 37. How many relationships have you been in?: Anywhere from two to five, depending on your definition of “relationship” 38. How many were serious enough to count: Two. The other three were single dates. 39. Who were those serious ones: Amber, my girlfriend for half a year, and Chaz, my online boyfriend for a couple months 40. Best boy/girlfriend: Would rather not choose 41. Worst boy/girlfriend: See above 42. Who do you want back: None. We’re better off friends, honestly. 43. Who do you regret: None 44. Who’s your mum?: Diane 45. Who’s your dad?: Nick 46. Any step-parents?: No 47. Any brothers?: Older brother, Schuyler 48. Any sisters?: No 49. Do you get along with your parents?: Most of the time. Usually any arguments we have are because of a misunderstanding and everyone in this house is always too stubborn to admit when they’re wrong, myself included. 50. With your siblings?: We don’t talk much, but when we do, yeah 51. Do you have any pets?: Our house is filled to the brim with cats. Also four dogs. Favourite…

52. Song: My opinion changes frequently, but it’s usually always a Hollywood Undead song 53. Movie: Alpha and Omega 54. Food: Pizza 55. Drink: Tie between milk and coke, depending on the situation 56. Store: EB Games, I guess? 57. Television show: I guess the Pokémon anime; every other show I watch, I like, but wouldn’t call it a favorite 58. Holiday: Christmas 59. Book: Of Mice and Men 60. Ice cream: Chocolate 61. Sweets: Peanut butter cups 62. Crisps: Doritoes, if that counts 63. Type of music: Literally anything except jazz (too boring) or mainstream rap (completely stupid) 64. Artist: Hollywood Undead 65. Word: ...I got nothing 66. Time of day: Just barely afternoon, still mostly morning 67. Alcoholic drink: N/A 68. Color(s): Blue (and yellow) 69. Piece of clothing: T-shirts 70. Character: Ezio Auditore from Assassin’s Creed II/Brotherhood/Revelations 71. Board game: Clue 72. Sport: Baseball 73. Number: 14 74. Quote: “Sardonic humor is just my way of relating to the world.” -Jughead Jones, Riverdale 75. Animal: Cat 76. Actor: N/A 77. Country: Canada 78. Boy’s name: Raphael 79. Girl’s name: Ashley or Abigail 80. Swear word: “Shit” 81. Month: December 82. Possession: My computer 83. Season: Winter 84. Teacher: Mr. King 85. Subject: Science, when we discussed things other than chemistry 86. Subject to talk about: Video games Do you believe in… 87. God: I believe one exists, but I don’t really go by any religious definitions 88. Heaven: Yes 89. Devil: See “God” 90. Hell: Yes 91: Bogey man: No 92. Closet Monsters: No 93. Fortune tellings: I’m wishy-washy. Some have turned out to be pretty accurate and not just super obvious, so maybe some people are more clairvoyant than we believe. 94. Magic: I wish 95. Love at first sight: See “Magic” 96. Ghosts: Kinda 97. Voo-doo dolls: No 98. Reincarnation: No 99. Yourself: Sometimes Do you… 100. Smoke: No 101. Do drugs: No 102. Drink alcohol: I have at times, but I don’t do it anywhere close to consistently 103. Cuss: In real life? Rarely. Online or to myself? Like a sailor who stubbed his toe. 104. Sing in the shower: No 105. Like school: Fuck no 106. Want to get married: Yes 107. Type with all of your fingers: No, only my index ones 108. Think you’re attractive: I don’t think I’m ugly, so take of that what you will 109. Drink and drive: I have no plans to do either, let alone both at once 110. Snore: When sick, yes, but other than that, not usually 111. Sleep walk: I apparently did once, but not that I can recall 112. Like watching sunrises and sunsets: Sunrises, yes. Sunsets, not really. What do you think about… 113. Classical music: It’s good when done right 114. Boy bands: See “classical music” 115. Suicide: On one hand, it is a very serious issue and is never the way out. On the other hand, because I hear overdramatic people threatening to commit suicide (and NEVER following through) so often, I’m just numb to discussions about it. 116. People who try to force their opinions on you: GTFO 117. Teen pregnancy: If you brought it upon yourself by willingly having underage sex, deal with it. If it happened to you through rape, you have my utmost sympathy. 118. Homosexuality: Regardless of what anyone says, there is nothing wrong with it 119. Abortions: Sort of like “teen pregnancy” above: if you have sex without taking measures to prevent pregnancy, and you get pregnant, don’t get an abortion. Have the child and give them up for adoption. Only get an abortion if your pregnancy was entirely out of your control and you really don’t want to go through the childbirth, but even then I’d still say get it over with and put the child up for adoption 120. Yourself: I’m a guy with skills who’s sick of being the comic relief because everyone else severely underestimates me and/or wants themselves to look better so they exaggerate the slightest mistakes I make. Also, I’m a cynical snarky goofball somehow all at the same time.

[j0sgomez-blog]

Todd Arndt staying warm in cold wind high in Glacier National Park.

By Michael Lanza

Rain and wind battered two friends and I as we hiked across exposed meadows high in the Olympic Mountains—our second straight day of rain. Dripping, knee-high vegetation ladled cups of water onto our pants and boots. My rain jacket kept my upper body dry, but my soft-shell pants eventually soaked through. That, and the wind, slowly made me steadily colder—more than I realized.

After a strenuous ascent of a steep mountainside, carrying a heavy pack with my jacket hood up—which should have made me quite warm—it occurred to me: I’m still cold.

I was hypothermic.

What’s more, we had all—ironically, given the rain—run out of water more than an hour earlier. We undoubtedly hadn’t eaten enough to replace the calories burned through a full day of hard hiking in cold wind and rain. Now, as the rain continued pounding us, night approached and we were nowhere near a water source or flat ground for camping.

  David Ports scrambling the Catwalk on that rainy, windy day in the Olympic Mountains.

We understood that our situation was serious. We calmly discussed our priorities. First and foremost, we needed a spot to pitch our tents—under the circumstances, shelter was more important than water, because we knew we could survive a night without water and that we’d find some in the morning, and we had plenty of food. But a night without shelter in those conditions posed far greater risks.

We backtracked to a flat area we had recalled passing earlier, and spent the night dry and warm in our tents, although without water. The rain had stopped before we set up camp, and clear skies greeted us the next morning. Two hours after leaving that camp, we reached a creek and drank copiously. We had gone about 20 hours without water, but hadn’t felt any serious effects from dehydration. Prioritizing shelter and warmth had been the right call. And I was amazed at how juicy dried mangoes taste when you have a raging thirst.

Jasmine and Jeff Wilhelm hiking Besseggen Ridge in Norway’s Jotunheimen National Park.

If you’ve spent much time outside in wet, cool, or cold weather, you’ve probably been at least mildly hypothermic. Most likely, it wasn’t serious and you easily remedied the situation with clothing, food, or shelter, or by descending out of the wind.

But hypothermia isn’t like an ankle sprain, occurring suddenly and broadcasting its symptoms clearly. And it isn’t like hunger, always remedied with a quick fix. It can happen quickly, or it can sneak up on you slowly. It may happen even when you believe you’re dressed well, because you didn’t initially feel cold. While it’s an obvious threat in the dead of frigid winter, it happens perhaps more often on cool, windy days in spring and fall, and certainly can happen in the mountains in summer.

Hypothermia can present a minor obstacle if recognized and addressed soon, or escalate into an emergency and even prove fatal.

Plus, as those two friends and I—all very experienced backpackers (and two of us experienced climbers) who’ve endured severe weather numerous times—discovered that day in the Olympics, it can happen to anyone.

In this article, I’ll explain what hypothermia is and how it happens, and offer expert tips and skills on how to avoid hypothermia and treat it when it happens to you or a companion, drawn from more than three decades of wandering through the backcountry in all kinds of weather, all over the U.S. and the world (and shivering more times than I could estimate).

Trust me when I say this: Someday, you will use these tips.

Please share your own trips, tricks, or thoughts in the comments section at the bottom of this story.

  Find your next adventure in your Inbox. Sign up for my FREE email newsletter now.

  Mark Fenton at 12,240-foot Knapsack Col, Wind River Range, Wyoming.

What’s Hypothermia?

Hypothermia is defined as a core body temperature of 95° F/35° C or lower, which is about three degrees Fahrenheit below the average normal body temp of 98.2° F/36.8° C (although “normal” can vary from 97° to 99° F between individuals). Hypothermia occurs when someone is losing body heat faster than she can produce it, causing the body’s core temperature to drop.

While it’s hard to find statistics on how many hikers die from hypothermia, according to the Centers for Disease Control, an average of 1,300 Americans die from hypothermia every year. While most of those victims are undoubtedly nowhere near the backcountry, according to the National Park Service (reported in this Washington Post story), “cold exposure” accounted for about 25 deaths in all national parks between 2003 and 2007. That’s actually far fewer than deaths from falls (about 175), vehicle accidents (over 250), and drownings (over 350).

Still, hypothermia poses a significant risk to backpackers, dayhikers, climbers, and others in the backcountry. Preventing it begins with knowing how to recognize it.

  Hi, I’m Michael Lanza, creator of The Big Outside, which has made several top outdoors blog lists. Click here to sign up for my FREE email newsletter. Subscribe now to get full access to all of my blog’s stories. Click here to learn how I can help you plan your next trip. Please follow my adventures on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Youtube.

  My son, Nate, dressed for cold wind above the Four Lakes Basin in Idaho’s White Cloud Mountains.

How to Recognize Hypothermia

Mild hypothermia, or the onset of hypothermia, isn’t always obvious; you have to pay close attention to recognize it in yourself or companions, especially when it comes on gradually. As with my experience in the Olympics, it can progress slowly just from hiking wet in cold rain and wind, or skiing without quite enough clothing, or failing to add a needed layer as the temperature slowly drops.

But it’s critical to recognize it early, when it’s easier to address and fix quickly.

Advanced hypothermia, on the other hand, is very obvious—the victim is, at the least, probably shivering violently, and losing consciousness as it worsens. But by then, the situation is grave, not easily or quickly remedied, and can be fatal.

  Symptoms of the onset of hypothermia include:

• Diminished dexterity in fingers • Slurred speech • Compromised balance and coordination and slower physical responses • Confusion and poor judgment

Symptoms of advanced hypothermia include:

• Impaired and steadily diminishing consciousness • Shivering, followed in extreme hypothermia by the cessation of shivering • Skin growing increasingly pale • Shallow breathing • Weak or irregular pulse • Dilated pupils • Muscle rigidity

  Never get cold again (well, almost never). See my “5 Tips For Staying Warm and Dry While Hiking” and “10 Tips for a Smarter Layering System.”

  Inken Poszner at the windy Col de la Seigne on the Tour du Mont Blanc.

How to Prevent Hypothermia

Whether a group of experienced hikers, backpackers, or climbers, or a young family on a dayhike, the strategies for identifying and preventing or dealing with hypothermia are the same. The following tips will help you avoid it—which is always much easier than treating hypothermia.

Know the Forecast. Most multi-day backcountry trips (and certainly dayhikes) are short enough that you can get an accurate long-range forecast for daytime and nighttime temperatures, precipitation, and wind. Remember that temperatures drop about three to five degrees Fahrenheit with every 1,000 feet of elevation gain, and winds can increase exponentially.

Watch the Weather. Monitor changes in weather throughout the day—it may not play out according to the forecast—and adjust your clothing and plans accordingly. Be open to the idea that you might have to change or abort your original plan.

Watch for Early Signs of Hypothermia. Early indicators of core body temp slipping downward include cold fingers and toes or slight difficulty speaking clearly. In wet or cold weather or wind, ask young kids frequently if they’re warm enough, and specifically how their fingers and toes are feeling.

Watch kids or adults for signals like a hunched posture (think how you naturally draw arms and shoulders in when cold), looking tired, apathy, slowing down, getting grumpy, or talking less than normal. Get the right clothing on them quickly, because the sooner you head off hypothermia, the faster someone returns to a normal temperature. Waiting to add a needed layer prolongs the time it takes for someone to rewarm.

  I can help you plan the best backpacking, hiking, or family adventure of your life. Find out more here.

  Jeff Wilhelm trekking the Kepler Track in New Zealand’s Fiordland National Park.

Bring the Right Clothing. A versatile layering system that keeps you comfortable in a wide range of conditions includes:

• Synthetic or wool base layers that wick moisture and dry quickly rather than retaining moisture from perspiration. • Adequate insulation for the potential temperatures and conditions. • A shell jacket that keeps you dry and blocks wind.

For outings of several hours or multiple days in inclement weather, your jacket, especially, should be waterproof and breathable to keep precipitation and wind out and release moisture that your body produces. I’ll wear soft-shell pants in foul weather for their superior breathability, because waterproof-breathable rain pants can cause you to overheat; but the latter may be necessary in very wet and cool (but still above-freezing) conditions.

I commonly find that, for my body, wearing just a shell jacket over a midweight, long-sleeve base layer—and no middle layers—when hiking in moderate temps (40s to 50s Fahrenheit) gives me the needed protection from wind and precipitation without causing me to overheat. But people have different cold tolerances. Experiment with adjusting layers in different conditions; in time, you’ll adjust less often because you’ll know what your body needs for layers across many situations.

  Stay dry, happy, and safe. See my picks for “The 5 Best Rain Jackets For Hiking and Backpacking.”

  David Ports hiking the Franconia Ridge Trail on a rainy day, White Mountains, N.H.

Warm Up by Moving. Clothes offer only insulation and protection from the elements; your body produces heat, and it does that best through movement. When you feel cold, start hiking again. In cold temps and wind, take brief rest stops to avoid cooling down rapidly.

Anticipate the Wind. Strong winds do not materialize out of thin air—they blow consistently through and around certain terrain features because of the topography of mountains and canyons and the nature of weather and air movement.

Mountain passes, notches, and summits and canyon rims are like the small end of a funnel—where rivers of wind get squeezed through confined spaces or unleashed after rushing up large elevation gradients—so powerful gusts often inhabit these features even when the air is calm below them. Use these simple strategies:

• Put on a shell and extra insulation, gloves, and hat if needed right before you reach these places (you’ll be able to see or hear if it’s blowing hard right before reaching, say, a mountain pass). • Read the wind direction and take shelter in the lee of cliffs and ridges when needed.

  Which puffy should you buy? See my “Review: The 10 Best Down Jackets” and “Ask Me: How Can You Tell How Warm a Down Jacket Is?”

  My wife, Penny, nearing the summit of Galdhøpiggen in Jotunheimen National Park.

Worship the Sun. Besides the air temperature dropping as you gain elevation, the sun’s heat can also feel more intense as the amount of atmosphere above you gets thinner. That can be helpful, but it also creates a growing dichotomy in how warm you’ll feel in sunshine versus in shade, which gets only amplified by wind. Be aware of it and adjust layers accordingly if you’ll be in sun or shade for long enough to affect your comfort.

Minimize Sweating. We all can break into a glorious sweat on a long uphill climb, especially when carrying a heavy pack. But as much as possible, minimize how wet your base layers get before reaching higher elevations and mountain passes that may suddenly grow substantially colder and windier. Use these strategies:

• Peel off layers for the ascent. • Pace yourself to avoid getting soaked, and if necessary, dial back your pace just before reaching the top, to start drying out your base layer top. • If needed, change into a dry and warmer top before entering a sustained windy and colder stretch of hiking. Or wear a waterproof-breathable jacket over a damp shirt to help you dry that shirt more quickly with body heat (as long as the wet shirt isn’t making you too cold to produce heat). • When possible, time long uphill stretches for cooler times of day, like early morning, when you won’t sweat nearly as much.

  You live for the outdoors. The Big Outside helps you get out there. Subscribe now and a get free e-guide!

  Eat and Drink. Your body temp can sink simply because you’re not ingesting enough fuel to replace the calories you’re burning, or because you’re dehydrated—which can occur even in cold temps, when you may not be sweating. By the time you feel depleted, hungry, thirsty, or tired, your body has probably already run low on fuel and fluids.

• In cool or wet conditions, snack regularly throughout the day, especially on high-fat foods (chocolate, nuts, cheese, peanut butter—whatever everyone likes). Children need snacks more frequently because they lack the fat reserves of adults. • Better to drink frequently than guzzle randomly, because the body can absorb no more than about a liter of water an hour. • When stopping at a water source to refill, drink plenty and snack, following the rule that it’s better to carry water in your belly than on your back. • When sleeping outside in cold temps, eat foods high in fat and protein before bed; those slow-burning energy sources keep you warmer through the night.

Know Escape Routes. When heading out in mountainous terrain where you may be exposed to wind and wet weather for an extended period of time, know your options for trails and routes you can take to descend quickly to more-protected terrain and warmer temperatures. Before setting out across a long stretch with no good descent options, reassess everyone’s condition to confirm your entire party has good energy levels and feels adequately warm to continue; if not, retreat.

  You don’t have to be cold at night. See my “10 Pro Tips For Staying Warm in a Sleeping Bag.”

  Trekkers hiking to the Grand Col de Ferret on the Tour du Mont Blanc.

How to Treat Hypothermia

In an extreme scenario, a hypothermia victim may not get warm just by moving, putting on more clothing, eating, and drinking warm fluids. That can occur quickly—as when someone falls into a frigid river—but more commonly comes on slowly. When someone exhibits symptoms of advanced hypothermia, you must quickly get that person to a place sheltered from wind and precipitation and insulate her as much as possible.

If you have a tent, pitch it (preferably in a good, protected campsite, just in case you have to stay there for a while) and get the victim into a sleeping bag on an insulated pad or air mattress. If you don’t have a pad, use an empty backpack, a removable back pad from a pack, or anything similar that will insulate the victim from the ground; piling leaves below the victim is even better than direct contact with cold ground.

If you don’t have a tent, get to the best protected terrain you can reach quickly and get the victim out of any wet clothing and into all available insulation layers, with shell outerwear that blocks wind and precipitation.

The bodies of children and some adults may still not rewarm very fast. Try having one or two people huddle or lie down with the victim (one person on each side) to share body warmth. If you’re in a tent or sheltered from the weather, cover yourselves with an extra sleeping bag opened up.

  Be safe by hiking smarter. See my “7 Pro Tips For Keeping Your Backpacking Gear Dry.”

  Give the victim food and hot drinks if she’s able to ingest them on her own. You may have to make a judgment about when or whether that person can continue under her own power; if she has the energy to do it, walking can help her get warm again. But moving someone too soon may be the worst option if she’s so cold that it affects her physical functioning—look for symptoms like badly slurred speech and stumbling—so be prepared to spend the night and find an appropriate place to do that.

Thanks for reading this entire article. I hope your big takeaway from it is that the smartest strategy is simple and easy: avoid hypothermia.

  Tell me what you think.

I spent a lot of time writing this story, so if you enjoyed it, please consider giving it a share using one of the buttons below, and leave a comment or question at the bottom of this story. I’d really appreciate it.

[theairportau]

the airport AU, part 118 by rjdaae and hopsjollyhigh

Previous parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100 101, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09, 10 111, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17

---

DARIUS

Darius is laughing as they step out into the sunshine. It’s a wonderfully mild day; his leather jacket isn’t too warm, but he would also probably be fine without it. It only elevates his mood, stepping out into such pleasant weather.

“It wasn’t that bad! I swear, the only person who I got in serious trouble was that desk clerk, and he should’ve been fired anyway, the way he was talking to you. I work in the service industry, I wouldn’t want someone like that talking to my patrons. We did them a favor. Picking fights in the middle of his shift. I doubt he would’ve even wanted to come back, the scare he had. Erik looks like a breeze could tip him over, and it probably could, but he’s strong when he’s mad. That’s like, probably the closest you can get to fighting a zombie in real life, and it’s probably a lot less fun than TV makes it seem. But anyway. I just told them that nobody was around to help when a patron got injured. That’s a big liability for them, they’ll probably calm down when they figure out that we’re not going to sue them or something,” he says, shrugging it off. “When you work in service, you know how to freak out people in service. It sucks to have to do it, but it’s just one of those things, you know?”

And it is that simple to him- he has been dealing with Erik’s messes for years, and covering some things is what comes with the territory. He doesn’t think about it anymore. And talking about Erik himself- it’s hard to differentiate talking to Christine and talking to Khan, or even to Erik. There is a certain joking language between them when they’re talking casually- especially between him and Erik- and it’s not as though he talks about Erik to anyone outside of that group. It seems normal to him, to be casual about the fact that Erik’s deformity exists and is frightening, however much Erik has worked to avoid talking about it with her. 

The pace he sets is brisk- he’s eager to get to the metro, and his mind has already moved on to the day ahead. He glances at her often to be certain that she’s keeping up- Khan has complained before that he walks faster than most people jog when he has a place to be. 

---

CHRISTINE

Christine gladly lets herself be swept forward on the tide of her friend’s laughter, her nerves soothed by the warm sun and Darius’ equally-bright tone. She’s only half listening as he cheerfully rattles off his criticisms of the hotel staff, content to keep pace at his side and offer the occasional nod or smile of her own in response; it’s clear that he doesn’t suspect anything about her conversation with the clerk, much less the contents of her purse. She cradles the purse close to her side as they walk, Mama’s warnings of pickpockets still ringing in her mind, but her feet nonetheless feel lighter as they work to match Darius’ spirited stride. She can find some other opportunity to discretely switch out the money; until then, she’ll just be careful.

They move quickly up the street, following the path she’s taken so many times already—in the direction of the restaurant and Erik’s house, and, beyond, the cafe where Darius had taken her last week; the metro station, as well: she recalls him pointing it out to her when they’d passed it on their way to lunch that day. With a rush of nervous excitement, she tries to remember how many coins she has in her wallet; from what she’d seen of the ticket machines at the airport, a €100 note won’t be of any more use to her on the metro than it would have been in the little shop back home.

Before she can come to any conclusion, she’s interrupted by the half of her brain that is still listening to Darius—jarred suddenly back to awareness by an utterly incongruous string of words.

For a moment, Christine simply isn’t sure that she’s *heard* him correctly; but, no, she *had*.

Then, she nearly laughs at the absurd specificity of the comparison he’s chosen to make.

True, being pinned against the wall of a dark alley by a tall and furious man in a mask would *have* to be a frightening experience, maybe even like facing some supernatural being—but what part of it would have *anything* in common with an encounter with a z—

Christine is grateful for the quick pace, keeping her a step or two behind Darius—that he doesn’t catch the sudden twist of understanding in her brow, or the queasy shock that briefly flares in her large, pale eyes.

For his part, Darius seems entirely at ease, continuing to ramble on as though he hadn’t said anything out of the ordinary. And…maybe he *hadn’t*; it’s a disconcerting concept to her, that someone could so flippantly make such a comparison—even more disconcerting than the thought that the comparison might be an *accurate* one.

As Darius turns back to check on her again, trailing a question and a commiserating smile, *she* has questions of her own.

Questions that she can’t *begin* to bring herself to ask.

“Haha, yeah,” she says with a nod, her eyes quickly snapping back to the path ahead of them. “Maybe I should remember that if I do end up having any more trouble: try putting myself in their shoes; being a hotel clerk can’t be that much different from being a cashier.”

---

DARIUS

“You’ll have plenty of practice dealing with other service people today,” Darius says cheerfully. “First things first, we have a goal- I was thinking we’d go to the Forum des Halles, I don’t think we need to go to luxury boutiques necessarily to get some basic clothes. It is fun to go in those crazy expensive places, though, and it’s close to the Louvre, a bit of a tourist area but a nice place to walk around. We can get lunch and everything.”

He checks the street, and gestures for Christine to cross with him; he half-jogs his way to the iron sign just a little bit down the cross-street, the entrance to the metro.

“I already have a pass sorted out, and you may as well get a carnet, ten rides, I’m sure you’ll use them. Not all today, but eventually.”

The air gets cooler as they descend into the station, which is dim compared to the sunlight outside, despite its rows of fluorescent lights. A row of ticket vending machines lines one wall, and on the other wall there is a kiosk with a bored-looking man flipping through a magazine inside. The man looks up as they enter, and nods at Darius in recognition.

“I come through here almost every day at some point, and this attendant always seems to be here,” he says. “I can help with French if you’d rather talk to a person than use a machine. A carnet is 14.50, so it’s cheaper than buying tickets individually.”

He is utterly unaware of Christine’s predicament with large bills- it just doesn’t register to him, though it does make sense, her being a traveler. It is not uncommon for tourists to show up with large bills, and splitting them is not typically easy, with the majority of smaller stores rejecting them. He carries small bills, himself- he’s used to life in the city, and it has slipped his mind, how difficult it was converting all of his money to the euro when they had moved. 

---

CHRISTINE

“I, um—I trust your recommendation,” Christine says as she follows Darius across the street, smiling against the nervousness that bubbles at the top of her excitement. “You’re the expert!”

There’s no reason for her to worry about their shopping trip. Even…even if they *were* to end up at some expensive boutique, Erik *had* given her the money in large part with the intention that she should spend it on clothes: would it really be *bad*, to use it to buy something nice for herself? Perhaps just one nice new jacket, to replace the one that she sacrificed to wrap Erik’s wounded arm; there’s more she needs, shirts and jeans and definitely at least one pair of shoes—but if she can find *those* someplace cheap enough, it will all balance out. Maybe.

But what would Darius think, if he saw her buy something expensive?—if he sees the money *at all*, when she’s already told him that she doesn’t have any? Why should he take on the inconvenience of letting her work in his restaurant, hardly able to speak to any of the other employees, when she has hundreds of already-undeserved euro in her wallet?

Before she can face the issue of what might or might not happen at any of the shops, though, she first has to actually *get* there.

“Oh, um…” she says, glancing from Darius to the attendant and then back to the bank of ticket machines; a sign affixed to the nearest confirms her suspicion that they won’t accept large bills, “I think that…"

She knows she doesn’t have more than ten euro in coins, let alone €14.50. Her bank card has enough, but she’s tried her best to preserve it for emergencies. What is the alternative, though? Trying to get change from the man in the kiosk? If she asks Darius to translate, he’ll obviously find out about the money, but *refusing* his help might made him suspicious; either way, there’s no guarantee that the attendant would even be *able* to make change for her.

"It…would probably be better for you to show me how to use the machine; if I ever get stuck, I can probably talk to the attendant well enough to figure things out—but there won’t always be someone here to teach me how these things work,” she says, giving Darius a grateful smile as she gestures towards the row of machines.

As she swipes her card a minute or two later, Christine bites at the inside of her lip, refusing to let herself consider whether it might have been wiser to buy a few coins’ worth of single tickets.

---

DARIUS

Painfully unaware of Christine’s internal struggle, Darius agrees cheerfully and gives a wave to the desk attendant as he moves over to the machines. “It’s really pretty simple,” he says. “No Swedish language option, but the French is very basic- your French is getting better- here…”

He walks her through the steps of purchasing a pass, pointing to buttons but having her push them herself. He wants her to be able to do it on her own, after all, if she needs to. He digs his own pass out of his wallet, and shows her how to pass through the gate, inserting the ticket and taking it when it pops out on top, throwing in that it’s best to do it quickly- the metro is quiet at the moment, but when foot traffic is heavy, Parisians will get cranky stuck behind someone slow. 

A train is pulling in just as they emerge into the tunnel, and Darius ushers her on, clearly pleased with their luck.

“No wait at all. It’s always nice when that happens,” he comments as the doors slide shut behind them. There are seats free, only a few people scattered around in the car, but he’d rather stand right now, and he wraps one hand around a pole, bracing himself for when the train starts.

He finds himself looking around at each passenger in the car with unusual scrutiny; one woman notices and averts her eyes, frowning. It doesn’t even occur to him what he’s looking at them for, until he remembers. He hasn’t ridden the metro since a few days ago, and the memory of Khan’s argument is fresh in his mind- it would be so unlikely to run into those people again, with the thousands that use the metro every day, but it’s still in the back of his mind to look for them.

And it doesn’t just have to be them. He knows that there are others in Paris who share similar sentiments, and he angles his eyes back at the ground at the thought. He should do everything in his power to blend in. He doesn’t want to cause trouble, especially with Christine- but the very thought that he could cause trouble by just being on the train ignites frustration in the back of his mind that he struggles to suppress. It isn’t fair, but he has to push down whatever feelings he has about it. It wouldn’t be right to put it all on Christine. Today is meant for her to see the city. It’s meant for them both to have a good time. He glances to the side and forces a crooked smile as the train jumps to a start.

“You’ll know the whole system well before long,” he says. “It becomes second nature. I got used to it fast enough. It wasn’t even that long ago. I’m sure you will, too.” 

---

CHRISTINE

Back when they’d lived in Gothenburg, when she and Mama had often ridden the trams together, Christine would have counted herself lucky to see such an empty car; now, she ignores the open seats, her hand taking the space beneath Darius’ on the metal support pole. He is her guide here, her example of how to be a Parisian, and it’s in her best interest to follow his lead; the way she staggers at the sudden lurching motion of the train is a reminder of how far she has left to go.

She answers his encouragement with a dubious laugh, “Maybe!”, her elbow winding itself more firmly around the pole. “I lived in my old city for five years, and still had to check the map every time I wanted to go somewhere.” Moving to a smaller town hadn’t been *all* bad, in the end.

Outside, the dark tunnel walls flash past the windows, lit by the flicker of the occasional emergency light. An unpleasant shiver works up Christine’s back at the belated realisation that they’re underground; vaguely, she wonders how deep.

“And of course, with the tram, if you get on the wrong line, you can at least *see* where you’re going."

She has to catch herself again as the train unexpectedly—to *her*, at least—grinds to a halt, pausing to let on more passengers before continuing along the route to the Forum des Halles.

”*And* when you’re *stopping*,“ she adds, her warm laugh melting away the brief chill.

---

DARIUS

Darius smiles faintly at her as she staggers back and forth- there had certainly been a time when he’d done that on the metro, as well.

“You begin to learn when it’s going to stop,” he says. “Though you’re right, it would be nice to be above ground- it can be gloomy down here. It doesn’t have the same heat underground, though, that it did in my city. People think it gets hot in the summer around here- I swear, that’s one thing I’ll never get used to. The weather. It’s even colder in Sweden, isn’t it? The friend I write to, in Stockholm- he told me that it doesn’t really go above 20 that often. I mean, Tehran isn’t the desert that some people picture, but it gets much hotter than that.”

He’s quiet for a moment, bracing himself as the metro grinds to a halt again. He can feel people looking, curious about what language they’re speaking, but he doesn’t meet any of their eyes- just looks down at Christine as a couple passengers shuffle off, and a few more shuffle on.

“I felt really homesick here at first,” he admits. “Little things like the weather can do that. There are still days when I feel sad about it. And Khan- he never adjusted to being here at all. I guess- I know it’s intimidating. But if you ever need any help, we at least understand how difficult it can be, becoming a part of this city. It’s a confusing place, a lot of the time.”

He doesn’t mean to dampen the mood- it pushes back his own feelings of self-doubt to express his willingness, and ability, to help her. He glances at the map as the train begins moving again, and it seems that the next stop is theirs. They are already standing, and already close enough to the doors to exit quickly, so he only makes a mental note to get off once the doors open again. 

---

CHRISTINE

How fortunate has she been, to have found friends who can offer her *understanding* as well as knowledge? Looking up into Darius’ warm brown eyes, she’s struck by the desire to thank him again—to jump once more into the losing battle against the frustrating inadequacies of letters and grammar, to try to find some *words* that might express her appreciation and gratitude; but if there’s one thing that her time in Paris has *already* taught Christine, it’s that words *aren’t* always necessary. She contents herself with replying to him silently—a nod of agreement, and a soft, commiserating smile.

She can’t say that the understanding is fully mutual, though: while she undoubtedly misses Mama, true *homesickness* has yet to strike. The feeling itself is one that is all too familiar to her—the way it causes the heart to ache with each beat, like the wings of a flagging bird unable to find its way back to its nest—but, thinking back on the small city that she came to Paris from, it’s hard to imagine *ever* feeling such longing for the place. She’d never wanted to live there in the first place; had worked *so hard* to get the chance to *leave*. If she’s ever had a *home* to miss, it wasn’t that little cluster of brick and concrete buildings.

A question, born of pure and guileless curiosity, slips free before Christine can think better of it:

“Why did you leave Tehran?”

Of course, no sooner have the words been spoken than her brain reminds her of a rather obvious answer.

“I mean—” she cuts in before he can respond, her voice tight in contrast to the softness with which she’d asked the question, “I know you both came here with Erik, but—”

But…?

Darius watches expectantly; she shifts her grip on the metal post, her gaze darting back to the flickering window again as she struggles to distill what it is that she actually wants to *know*.

“I…we were always moving around when I was little,” Christine says finally, her tone uncertain as she glances at her friend again, “For years, we never stayed in the same place. I’m used to it—to this; to being somewhere different. But you— Of course you wanted to help Erik—and it wasn’t all *good* there— But… How could—?” she shakes her head, tilting her face towards the window again to hide her ashamed blush, “I’m not making any sense, I’m sorry.”

---

DARIUS

It seems odd to speak about such a personal thing in public- if it were anyone else, he may have shied away from the topic, but despite the eyes on them, Darius knows that nobody in the car can understand what they’re saying. It gives him a sense of privacy and security, but still- he glances at the advertisements plastered on the walls for a moment, unable to trust that the stab of darkness he feels in his heart won’t show itself plainly on his face. He doesn’t think the question is inappropriate, but there is so much weight to it. More weight than he can possibly convey to her in a brief conversation on a train. For once, he measures his words before he speaks. There is so much history to go over to really explain. “It’s funny, really,” he says. “Living somewhere as active and brilliant as Tehran- and it felt like a ghost town half the time. We couldn’t stay there. Khan couldn’t stay there. I mean, losing my father was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. But that’s how nature is- everyone says it, I guess, but it’s different for a parent to bury their child. It’s just not right. There were just too many old memories there. There was too much that couldn’t be left behind. We’d been talking about a new place meaning a new start before Khan ever met Erik. We weren’t thinking of France, but it made the most sense when he entered the picture.” Darius shrugs his jacket tighter around his shoulders and looks down at Christine. “I guess- a place being home doesn’t make it good for you to be there. And a place being good doesn’t make it home, either. But I’m sure you know that already, having moved your whole life.” He fades into silence, wrapping his hand around the pole to steady himself as he stares out the window and hopes that the answer is sufficient. It’s not everything, of course. He knows that the pain of losing a loved one isn’t anything new to her, and for that very reason, isn’t certain that he wants to stay on the topic too long. Honesty is important to him, though. If he wants her to open up to him, he is determined that he will do the same for her (perhaps too much, sometimes). He watches lights flicker by to keep his mind busy, away from the memory of all of the grief that pushed them away from their home country. The present is what’s important- it has to be.

---

CHRISTINE

Rather than assuaging her curiosity, Darius’ reply only stirs the dust from older questions, half-buried at the back of her mind; Christine only nods quietly, letting the conversation cede to the rumbling of the rails beneath their feet. Her father had always shied away when she’d asked about why he had taken them away from Skatelöv; she should have known better than to pose a similar question to someone else.

Yet, as the train gently sways around a curve in its track, there’s a part of her brain that persists in *wondering*.

As little attachment as she’d had to the various houses and towns and hotel rooms that she’d grown up in—as little as she could give any of them the title of ’home’—there’d always been a lingering comfort in the familiarity of those places: in knowing that the ones she’d loved had breathed that air; walked those floors; shared that same space with her, however fleetingly. To her, *leaving* those things has always seemed like just one more loss—an ever-present aftershock to tragedy, the ground crumbling away beneath her when she’d already fallen to her knees.

She can’t wrap her mind around what it would be like to be torn from a real *home*—much less to *choose* to leave such a place.

Even as she has done her best to push certain memories from her mind, her heart has fought to cling to the traces of *before*—as if, could she only hold onto enough pieces, she could pretend that nothing had changed.

But the decision had never been in her hands, and staying was never an option.

“I’m…glad you’re here now, anyway,” she says awkwardly after a few moments, her eyes darting only briefly upward, “And that you’re happy here.” Just then, the squealing of brakes slices through the muffled roar of the train, and Christine gratefully turns her attention towards remaining on her feet.

---

(Part 119)

[ais-n]

Hi ais! I've just finished re-reading icos and I once again feel so sad that it's over again. Do you have any nook recommendations or books that you like?

Aww thank you for reading ICoS the first time, let alone rereading it! That’s sweet of you

I could have sworn at some point I compiled a list (which I was going to link only because I have the worst memory and forget things I love whenever I try to list it all) but I can’t find anything! What the hey.

So, I made a list below the cut :D I broke it up between M/M, nonfiction, fiction, YA, and anime/manga. You should know ahead of time that I tend to read mostly manga or nonfiction, and/or I tend to gravitate toward “darker” stories or stories that deal with a lot of nuance and complexity. I don’t tend to gravitate toward stories that are really black and white (but idk about the ones I mentioned from when I was a preteen/teen because it’s been so long since I read them).

That may tell you if you might like any of these or not :) I wrote a little about the book by most of the names to give you a bit more of an idea.

Hopefully at least one of these looks interesting to you :) Let me know if you need links on something if you can’t find it, or if you want a bit more of an explanation on anything. Some (honestly, most) of these books I haven’t read in forever but others I periodically reread just because I

BOOKS BOOKS AND MORE BOOKS BELOW

**M/M:**

All for the Game series by Nora Sakavic - m/m, super awesomesauce series, it’s my fave in general. First book free, second 2 books 99 cents each. Nora was having some issues with the first book not being on the site with the rest so I put it on my site until she’s got that figured out, so people can still read the series. Get the first book here: http://aisylum.com/tfc/ and then I link the other books on there.

Raised by Wolves series by W.A. Hoffman - m/m, this one is a very different series and style of storytelling. I personally adore this series but it’s also the sort of thing some people may not be into for various reasons. But for me, I read the series all the way through and instantly started over and reread it all again. First book is Brethren.

**NONFICTION:**

anything by Simon Singh but especially The Code Book and Big Bang - these are nonfiction books and if that makes you go “UGH NO WAY” then know that Simon writes nonfiction like fiction so they’re really great and easy reads, plus you get lots of great info. Also, The Code Book is what I used as research for Jeffrey’s knowledge base + the whole thing with the message in Evenfall and the OTP comment. (If you’re like “Hey yeah what WAS all that about?” I answered it here.) (Also also, if you saw Imitation Game, then you should know that the Code Book covers at least part of the same history as that movie)

Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder (follows the story of one of my favorite humans, Paul Farmer who founded/co-founded Partners in Health which is one of my favorite charities) also Tracy writes other books that look intriguing to me but I haven’t read yet.

Erik Larson - Devil in the White City, Thunderstruck, and other books by him – he, like Simon, writes nonfiction in a way that reads very easily like fiction. I like the way he interweaves various stories of various people into one book. Devil in the White City might be my favorite of his that I’ve read? Mostly because it combines architecture + America’s first serial killer + the 1893 Chicago World Fair and all of these things make me go YES PLX

Troublemaker by Leah Remini and Rebecca Paley - this is about scientology; I listened on audiobook–it was interesting and informative

Also, I listened to Dan and Phil’s first book (The Amazing Book is Not on Fire) on audiobook and that was also entertaining–although if you have no idea who tf Dan and Phil are, that may be less entertaining to you lol

Death’s Acre, or Beyond the Body Farm, by William Bass and Jon Jefferson - so, Bill Bass is super interesting, tl;dr is he’s a frontrunner in forensic anthropology, these books are about a farm people donate their bodies to where they decompose in various states to help forensic anthropologists learn more on decomposition which then helps in murder trials and elsewhere. If you’re into forensic anthropology, check out Bill Bass

Dismembered by Susan Mustafa and Sue Israel - this is true crime about a serial killer in Louisiana. It is, therefore, quite graphic and you should heed the title as quite accurate representation of what you will be reading about in the book. But if serial killers or true crime intrigue you, I really liked this book and have been on the lookout by more from these ladies. I thought it was written well and told the story well.

**FICTION:**

books by Jefferson Bass - there’s a whole series called the Body Farm series or something. Jefferson Bass is the combo if the two people for Death’s Acre, except that pseudonym is for their fiction series based on scientific reality/facts. It’s a pretty interesting series from what I recall but I never finished it. But if you like forensic anthropology and want to read a sort of murder mystery/detective type of series written by an actual acclaimed forensic anthropologist with all the science being legit, this is your series

Tony Foster series by Tanya Huff (starts with Smoke and Shadows) - ok so, Tanya Huff was SUPER nice the one time I messaged her. I like her a lot as a person. I will say that this series is not the actual best writing you will ever read–BUT Tony Foster is such a freaking great narrator that I love the series. Also, Tony’s a gay male which is always cool to have as a lead, especially in a sort of fantasy like this :)

Sandman comics by Neil Gaiman – honestly, just about anything you pick up by Neil Gaiman will be good. I’d have to reread all the books to say which is my favorite but I do recall liking Good Omens a lot, which he cowrote with Terry Pratchett. But Sandman is what got me into graphic novels, eventually manga (because I was used to reading GNs by then) and Neil Gaiman as a whole. I fucking love Sandman and will forever recommend it, but it’s a GN so it may not translate well to nook? idk

Speaking of Terry Pratchett, if you like stories that are easy to read and oftentimes have a fair amount of humor infused into them, I recommend him and probably any of his books but my particular recommendation would be Mort as well as the Sam Vines books. I think the first time we see Sam Vines is in the Guards! Guards! book.

Otherland series by Tad Williams - ok in all honesty, I never finished the series (got partially through 3rd of 4 books) and it’s been probably 20 years since I read them, so maybe my opinion would be different now. But Otherland was such an interesting sci-fi ish series which I honestly think is probably going to end up being somewhat realistic to our future. Basically, VR is a thing and people choose to live there instead of in reality sometimes, and now people are dying IRL because their bodies are wasting away and a diverse group of people from around the world get together in the virtual world to try to figure out what’s happening and how to stop it, but they don’t realize the politics and danger involved. Why didn’t I finish reading, you wonder? It’s because I read this series when I was a teenager when it first came out, and I think when I read reading the 3rd book the 4th hadn’t even been written yet. Anyway I was suuuuuper engrossed in the series–so much that when a certain thing happens related to my favorite character in the series, I was too emotionally affected by it I set the book aside to take a moment to reset my emotions before continuing, and then I just…. never continued…. ^^;; I got too distracted by other series but I always plan to finish it. Also side note, Tad Williams is a super nice author who actually wrote back to little teen me(!), taking my email seriously and encouraging me to write. Also side side note, Tad Williams wrote a bunch of books and I recall liking all of his fantasy series I read too but I don’t think I’ve read all his stuff.

Tamir Triad by Lynn Flewelling - first book: Bone Doll’s Twin. It’s been a while since I read this (as is the case for pretty much everything on this whole list) but I remember thinking this was a really interesting trilogy with a rather unique story, especially for the time this was written. If you ever read Lynn’s other book series (Nightrunner, m/m) then know that the Tamir Triad is set in the past of the Nightrunner world, by I don’t remember 500 years or something– also it’s written TOTALLY different than Nightrunner. The two styles are like night and day; if you don’t like the Nightrunner style, totally give Tamir a chance. If you do like Nightrunner, I still think you should read the Tamir books because I think they’re better, even though I did like Nightrunner in the beginning :)

Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire. This book is the inspiration for the wildly popular musical Wicked (which I also recommend you see because it’s omggggg

**YA:**

The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer - for the most part, I quite like this series. It’s a very easy to read YA series that re-imagines the Disney Princess/fairy tale female leads into a sort of cyberpunk Earth with space adventure future. Most of the females in this series are pretty strong female characters, leading their own stories, having agency, not being overpowered by the male characters like in their Disney or fairy tale versions. It has kind of a Sailor Moon vibe in some aspects, mostly because Marissa’s a total nerd who loves Sailor Moon lol

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo - this is actually part of a series but tbh I liked Six of Crows more than the other book. Basically this book is a heist novel with young adult MCs. It’s a freaking BEAUTIFUL hardcover btw, like black edged paper and cool illustrations on the chapter pages and omgggggggg so this is one I recommend you buy in print if you like it, rather than just getting the ebook. It has an MC (Kaz Brekker) who I swear to god is like if early Evenfall Boyd and Hsin had a baby lol

Books by Sherryl Jordan - it’s been approximately forever since I read any of these books so maybe my opinion would change if I read them now, but back in the day I loved the fuck out of Sherryl’s books when I found them as a preteen/teen. I remember feeling like a lot of her female characters felt strong or at least I thought they were cool. The main one I remember liking back then is Winter of Fire. Mind you, Sherryl Jordan’s books are now really hard to find–turns out she’s a New Zealand author and a lot of the books went out of print at various times. But if you happen to run across one, you can check her out and see what you think. I mention her because her stories stuck in my head for 20 years.

Mage Heart (and the Chronicles of Dion Trilogy) by Jane Routley. Another one from forever ago–no idea what I would think of this if I read it today but I remember really liking it when I read it as a teenager, and the story has stuck in the back of my head since. I don’t remember a lot about the actual plot, just that I was inspired by the story/world.

Aaaaand that’s probably enough. You’re probably regretting asking XD

There are a couple of other books I remember from when I was really little but you probably don’t care about those lol The only one I’ll mention is Dealing with Dragons by Patricia Wrede - that’s the first book in a YA series. I quite like Dealing with Dragons, but tbh I was really frustrated by the other books. You could read just the first if you wanted to check it out.

Lastly, if you like manga/anime at all, here are some other recs: fave anime/manga recs, plus here’s another good manga

[mad-hats]

A Matter of Life and Death, that’s the title of this story I’ve been working on...it’s my first legit thing so don’t hate on me.

Lei and Melody Pond pressured me into posting this ASAP last ight so it’s all I could do. But hey, I gotta say it’s some cool stuff about the universal entities, Life and Death...plus some other dudes.

I dedicate this novel to my family and friends who inspired me and helped me write this story...and to readers like you!  Yes...you reading this...right now.

Prologue

Tony Torelli, unlike most people Death came accross, was satisfied with his life.  He had managed to stay alive for 99 years, which was far longer than any of his uncles, aunts, or his parents had.

Tony was rather impressed with himself, considering that he had immigrated to America with nothing but his wife by his side and his ambition.  After starting his own bakery with the money from selling little pastries on a cart and from Mrs. Torelli  doing the neighborhood's laundry, Tony had a total of five children, who each provided two grandchildren for Mr. And Mrs. Torelli.  

Death recalled meeting his wife, Abrielle Torelli in 2010, she was surprisingly rather calm considering she had just died of lung cancer with no actual knowledge of how the “Passing Procedure” functioned.  Although he was never entirely sure about what lied beyond each of the  doors to the afterlife, Death knew that the sweet elderly Italian woman would be heading for something pleasant.  So Death felt a wave of satisfaction, knowing that Mr. and Mrs. Torelli would be united as soon as Tony Torelli finally finished groaning in pain and collapsed on his kitchen floor.

As his heart stopped beating, a wisp rose from the old man’s body and formed into his ghost.  Death gave a little wave from his seat at Mr. Torelli’s kitchen table.  The ghost of Tony Torelli stepped back, scared and confused, Death pondered whether Torelli was more scared by his own ghostly appearance, or by the sudden appearance of a black cloaked skeleton with a scythe against his chair. Either way, he looks like he’s seen a ghost, Death silently chuckled at his own horrible joke.

“What is this, am I dead? Are you- are you the Grim Reaper?” Torelli asked worriedly.  Death stood up and brushed off his cloak, “Yes and yes, but don’t worry, most of this isn’t so bad as most think” he said in a surprisingly comforting tone.  

“It works like this; I ask you a few questions about your life and if you are honest and if you meet the qualifications, you can go to the afterlife of your choosing”.  Torelli nodded slowly, despite the baffled expression on his face, he seemed to understand.  Huh, this one’s a strong one.  

“So Mr. Torelli, how did you die?”  

Tony Torelli thought for a moment, “Well it seems like I have just died of a heart attack,”

Death nodded in approval.

“That’s right, not the most noble death, but the noble ones always tend to be the most painful anyway.  Moving on, do you think you were a good person?”

“Well, I suppose.  I’ve never been involved in anything illegal, I tried to provide the best life I could for my family.  Of course I’ve sinned, but I ask our Lord and Savior for forgiveness regularly, I try not to judge others...I’m not going to hell am I?”

Death glanced into the old man’s soul.  He’s just too innocent, it’s a bit disturbing really,  but as always, Death could sense that Tony definitely wasn’t lying his way to a better eternity.  Death raised a finger over one of the ancient symbols carved into his scythe, it glowed white.  Yep, he’s a good one.  

“No Mr. Torelli, you’re a decent man, even though I’m only a gatekeeper, I’m sure that you’ll be joining your wife today”.  Death swung his scythe in the air and planted it firmly on the floor, a stream mixed of shadows and light bled from the end of the scythe, the stream gathered together and created a sudden archway.  Even over millions of years, Death couldn’t quite find a way to describe it, it was the most beautiful and most threatening thing Death had ever seen; an array of conflicting shadow and light, he supposed, much like that of the stream.  Tony Torelli drifted towards the portal and disappeared.  One down, another several hundred to go.  Before he could teleport to his next destination, Death froze to a stop.  Something changed, Death could feel it within the scythe, he could feel it in the air.  He took a deep breath and smoothed out his cloak, regretting that he had chosen his skeleton form.  Why today?  “Hello old friend, it’s been awhile since we’ve spoken,” Death turned around to face Life.  Of course, she was as obnoxiously radiant looking as usual. “It’s been a week, and a rather peaceful week too,” Death chided.

“Why did you have to reap Tony? A few more months and he would have been a hundred years old.  One. Hundred. I don’t get to do that very often and it’s really annoying when you just come along and reap them at the last minute”.  

Death sighed, “Life darling, he died of a heart attack, everyone has to die eventually, and I help make the transition easier.  You don’t create children, you just open their lives to the world.  Are you okay Life? Something seems to be troubling you.”

Life sighed and bit her lip.  “Well, I came here to talk about far more than a possible hundred year old man...Death, we have a problem.  You know our friend Noir? She’s gone missing”.  Death laughed, “Well I doubt that, she’s a reaper; she’s most likely just off doing paperwork for some particularly complicated death, our jobs aren’t easy you know”.  Life’s expression darkened, switching her aura of serenity to something far more sinister in a matter  of seconds.  

“That isn’t the case Death, you sense people dying, I sense people living; Noir is alive, but she’s oddly distant, there’s something going on that may affect more than just one of your Reapers”

“Distant, you say?  Life, you know that Noir is more than just one of my helpers, she- she’s a close friend. If you truly think there is something going on, I’ll need your help investigating it”.  Life nodded, and pursed her lips, “well, there’s something else too, you know  how the most accurate way to connect to reapers is through blood or DNA, well since we don’t have Noir’s blood sample on hand, I’ve recently discovered, um, another possibility”.

Death twirled his scythe in anticipation, “Yes?”

“She apparently had a child with a mortal named James Mourn about twelve years ago,  especially considering that the girl has inherited Noir’s abilities, she’s our best and only hope.”

Death fell silent, “she never told me that she had a kid, she never told me- never told me any of it...of course  you’re right though, I’ll find the girl, you keep gathering more information,” he said quietly.  Life nodded, deciding it was best to leave her friend to his thoughts as she turned to leave, “her name’s Lucy.  The girl, her name is Lucy Mourn”.

Chapter One

“What if I had a death that was so tragic that my favorite bands would feel the need to come play at it? I mean that would be so cool, maybe Panic at the Disco could play “Far Too Young to Die” or something, I’ll add it to the list of stuff on my will,” Lucy Mourn cheerfully wondered out loud as her math class drew to a close.  The new student sitting next to Lucy glared at her, “You’re so weird, why do you have a will already? We’re only in 7th grade, isn’t it a bit creepy?”.  Lucy tilted her head and smiled as her pale green eyes widened, as if this was a questioned that she loved answering.  “Why, it’s never too early to write a will, we could die any day now, at any moment at all.  I don’t see why I shouldn’t be just a tad bit prepared,” she chirped.  The kid next to her gradually scooted away, unnerved by Lucy’s nonchalance on the subject.  

“Okay class I know that it’s winter break but that doesn’t mean you can’t study your geometry, we have a test a week after you return from break!” Mrs. Harrison desperately called out as the students gathered their backpacks and headed out the door.  The new kid who had been talking to Lucy rushed away from her before the bell had even finished ringing.  Lucy’s shoulders slumped as she put on her black cat-ear beanie with the little pins on them; one normal smiley face, one with x’s for eyes, and finally a little skull pin, along with a few from various bands.  Another failed attempt at friendship but that’s okay, I’m just too brilliant to share my friendship with anyone.  

She swung her black and pastel pink backpack over her shoulder and skipped out into the preteen-packed hallway.  Lucy weaved past the packs of students scattered about the hall and left school for Winter Break, it was a shame, she tended to feel less lonely when she was at school; at home everything just turned into an abyss of time, boredom and loneliness. Outside she saw half of the kids going home by foot, or bus, and the other half being picked up by parents or relatives.  She couldn’t help but feel a tinge of envy at the sight; her Father was often at work as an accountant and she had never met her Mother.  Every time she tried to bring her up while talking to her Dad (which wasn’t very often), he quickly tried to change the subject.  As a result, the most she had ever been told about her mother is that she was a green eyed French woman named Noir Arquette who had ran off not long after Lucy’s birth.   Lucy climbed on the bus and took the only seat that had not been taken, (which was most of them, including those in which kids suddenly sprawled across the seat in a precarious position as she walked by).  After Lucy finally sat down, she looked out the window on the bus as she sketched a scene of unicorns and zombies into her notebook.  By the time the bus came to a stop Lucy had drawn an intricate portrait of rainbows raining over a trio of bloodthirsty unicorns trampling on zombies as the undead creatures tried to bite back at the unicorns in vain.  Satisfied with the sketch, Lucy jumped off the schoolbus and skipped towards her house on Briarwood Boulevard.  The house was pretty small and it was always a little cold, and the inner decor was a little too grey and unwelcoming, but it was Lucy and James Mourn’s home.  

“Dad I’m home from school and it’s time to start Winter Break fun!” Lucy sang as she dropped her backpack, threw off her black jacket and striped scarf as she danced around the house.  Of course there wasn’t a reply; her Dad was still at work, as always.  Lucy untied the shoelaces on her bowtied boots and kicked them off as she went to the kitchen to heat up some ramen noodles from the pantry shelf that she could barely reach due to her petite height.  Before she could do so, Lucy stopped and her heart lifted as she saw a little note on the kitchen counter.  Dad might've left a note to apologize for not being here, that would’ve been so nice!  Yet as Lucy reached for the note her heart fell straight back onto the little hole it was in a moment before.  The note on the counter wasn’t written in James Mourn’s handwriting.  Thanks Dad.

Dear Lucy Mourn,

I’m sorry I didn’t meet you in person today, but most humans tend to be quite frightened upon meeting me. Essentially, I am Death, you might think this is a prank from your dad, but it’s not. I can’t really prove it but if you notice that the flowers next to your kitchen sink were alive this morning and now they’re all wilted. Sorry about that. Anyway as you may or may not know, I am a friend of your mother, Noir, and I am in need of your assistance in order to help her. I’ll be seeing you tomorrow at noon.

Sincerely,

Death/Grim Reaper/Shinigami/Thanatos/etc.

P.S. You may or may not be in grave danger.

Lucy tilted her head, and couldn’t help but giggle.  “I have no idea what’s going on but I also don’t know whether I should be amused or disturbed,” Lucy said to herself.  Ask Dad about it later, it’s definitely not a prank, he’s not cool or weird enough for that, her mind answered back.  Thanks self.  Lucy made the ramen for herself and went to her room to put her earphones on full blast as she started a new sketch, this one of a vengeful little ballerina puppet strangling it’s master with it’s strings.  By 6:49 Lucy heard the door unlock as her Dad came home.

“Hiya Dad! Did you see that weird note on the counter? I saw it earlier and decided to ask you about it,” she called as she skipped to the living room.  James Mourn set down his briefcase and began to undo his tie as he sat on the couch.  “Hey Lucy-Luz, what note are you talking about, there’s nothing here but the ramen packaging you must’ve forgotten to throw away earlier,” he sighed.

Lucy went to the kitchen counter and sure enough, the note was gone.  “It was right here, a little note, it said it was written by Death, like the Grim Reaper.  He was talking about my Mom, did you put it there as a joke?”

James Mourn froze, then sighed. “Look, I don’t know what you’re trying to pull here Luz, but I’ve had an exhausting day at the office and I’m not ready for your weird goth crap,” her Dad snapped in exasperation.

Lucy drew back, surprised and hurt.  “First of all, I’m not lying, and that ‘weird goth crap’ is just how I am, but you wouldn’t even know that would you?,” Lucy said with all the calmness she could muster.

“Don’t sass me, Lucy, I’ve had a long day and I’ll be having another one tomorrow, just go to bed,” her Dad scolded.  Lucy scoffed and drifted back to her bedroom, where she practiced smiling until the tears stopped and she changed into her skull covered pajamas.  Since it was still only 7:05, Lucy decided to listen to music and watch anime for hours, and hours, until she fell asleep in a tangle of blankets and earphones.  

Lucy sat alone in a dark room that resembled the old ballet studio that Lucy used to attend, despite the teacher being exasperated with the alternative dance style Lucy practiced between warm-up sessions.  The teacher, Ms. Warrington was never very patient with the children she taught, and Lucy was the only one that actually excelled in the class while still being the most hated by the teacher.  Eventually the teacher had an angry outburst and yelled at Lucy, causing James Mourn to take Lucy out of the class.  But this wasn’t Lucy’s 4th grade ballet class.  It was dark, and there weren’t any instructors or students in sight; It looked wrong.  Lucy would have liked to say she was alone, but the mirrored wall with the barres against them reflected images of Lucy, except...different, she looked older, and sadder...it was all wrong.  Along with the twisted reflections, there were dark shadowy figures surrounding her. It was impossible to tell how many because of the mirrors, but Lucy was surrounded.  Even her reflections looked panicked, and  began running towards the surfaces of the mirrors, screaming until they dissolved into black feathers.  The spidery, shadowy figures didn’t seem to notice as they advanced towards her, and a little light rose from Lucy’s screaming mouth.  ‘You can’t escape’, the shadows sang as their shadow fingers wrapped around her throat.  

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Lucy’s jade green eyes popped open and she gasped for breath as she sprang out of bed to turn off the alarm she had set on her phone.  Since school was out for a few weeks she had set it to 10 am instead of 6 am.  After a long shower Lucy changed into a black t-shirt with a pink broken heart design on the front over a pair of buckled black jeans.  James Mourn had already left to go to the office that morning, leaving Lucy to do a few chores around the house.  So, after consuming a small bowl of cornflakes Lucy got started on dusting the house.  All the while Lucy nervously checked the clock, waiting for Death. Lucy laughed at the idea of it.  She looked up at the clock in the living room.  Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.  

Eventually it was noon and Lucy was still home by herself. No Death, no information about Noir.  She scolded herself for being stupid enough for even considering that Death would come knocking on her door.  Lucy sighed and took a moment to be jealous of those who wouldn’t have given the notion a second thought, or whose parents would’ve just given a simple “yes or no” without getting triggered and angry. She shrugged it off and finished up dusting the kitchen and began  to make herself a sandwich, until she froze to a stop while passing the trash can.  What if Dad had the nerve to throw away the note?  Lucy flipped open the trash.  There was nothing inside except the ramen packaging she had finally remembered to throw away.  “Finding anything interesting in there?” a low voice asked from behind her.  Lucy whirled around to see a black hooded figure standing in her living room.  He was holding a tall black scythe with unfamiliar engravings lining the handle.  

“You’re Death,” she whispered with a smile.  

Death stepped back, taken aback by the terrifying look of delight on the young girl’s face.  “Yes, that’s me, shouldn’t you be a little more, I don’t know, alarmed?”

Lucy kept smiling, “I am alarmed but I’m also pretty happy, I thought I was being crazy and stupid but now I think it’s just plain crazy, but I’m used to that part anyway”.

Death tilted his hood back, revealing a rather confused looking skull.  How can he look confused while having no expressions? The world may never know!  “You’re late you know, your note said you would be here by noon but now it’s 12:16, you should have said ‘approximately noon’ in your note, then it technically wouldn’t have counted as late”

Death still looked perplexed “I was busy dealing with a guy who had been murdered up in Scotland, he kept on trying to deny that he was dead and it took a surprising amount of time to convince him otherwise.  You must be Noir Arquette's daughter, Lucy Mourn”.  

Lucy nodded, “So upon reading your letter I wondered; if you’re friends with my Mom then do you know why she’s never been around for me?”

Death seemed to frown, “I didn’t even know you had been born until another friend told me yesterday, I didn’t know that she had abandoned you either”.  

Lucy sat down to process everything for a second, “where is she now? Can I speak to her?”

“Well, you see that is exactly why I came to see you.  First off, I have large group of people called reapers who help me with my duties as the Grim Reaper, after a while of serving me they develop some of my powers such as teleportation, and being able to reap the souls of the dead by themselves.  So when people die, the reapers and I cooperate to open up the doors to the afterlife for them.  Your mother, Noir, well she’s- she’s a friend as well as an especially powerful reaper.  Yet as I said, I’ve been informed that Noir is missing, and since you have a blood connection with her-”

“I’m your only hope at finding her,” Lucy finished.  Death nodded grimly,  “I’m also not quite sure if you noticed, but you should have inherited some of your mother’s powers as well”.

Lucy grinned like a maniac, “I can teleport and reap the souls of the dead? I’ve always wanted to do that!”

Death tilted his head, “somehow don’t think that was sarcasm...anyway are you going to help me or not?”

Lucy looked down at the pink little bows on her boots, I’m gonna help my Mom, then I’m gonna give her a little wrapped up box of hell.  Lucy reconsidered the offer one last time.  “Yep, that sounds like a plan”.  Death raised his scythe and slammed the bottom of it towards the ground, suddenly the world erupted into shadows.  When light returned, they were standing in a large, dim study with leather bound books lining the walls.  Lucy staggered, “Did we. Just. Teleport?”

Death nodded and chuckled, “you must be Noir’s kid considering that you haven’t vomited on my new robes yet”.

“Ha, but um, I forgot my jacket though can we go back for a sec?”

After teleporting back in order to get Lucy her jacket, gloves, and phone, Death teleported them back to his ‘house’, which really seemed more like one of those cool gloomy castles that served as a secret lair for villains in movies.  Lucy sat down at the study’s sofa as Death poured some tea.

“So do your deathlings live here too?”

“First of all they’re called reapers, never call them deathlings again, and yes, some of my most trusted reapers live here”.

“Does that include my mom?”

Death paused, “yes, Noir normally lives in the northern wing over there,” he said, pointing towards the staircase down the hall.  Lucy laughed bitterly, “I’m in my mom’s house, I’ve been standing where she stood, it’s just so weird”.  Death finished pouring the tea, “I um, I understand that this isn’t easy for you,so would you like some feel-better madeline's to go with you tea?” Lucy bit back a laugh.  The Grim Reaper eats little pastries with his tea?  “Hey, hey stop laughing at my madeleines, I get enough of that from your mother and Life”.  Lucy stopped laughing and thought for a second before gaping, “Life? Is- is life a person too?”

“Technically she’s more of a magical entity sorta thing like myself, she’s the friend who informed me that Noir was missing, and of your existence.  You know since she like senses people’s lives and things, she should be joining us in a few moments now”.  Lucy opened her mouth to say more-

“HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND!” a feminine voice sang from the other room.

“Damn it Life, I’ve been telling you to stop doing that since the 1960’s, can’t you just say hello like a normal person?”

The door to the study swung open for a beautiful woman in a long white and cream dress.  Her skin was a radiant shade of caramel and her blondish hair was pinned up so that only one wave of curls hung by the side of her head.  Yet it was her eyes that intrigued Lucy, at first she thought they were dark brown, but they were frequently shifting to a moonlight shade of pale gold; like some brilliant array of shadow and light.   “Why, I’m just making a fun first impression, Death, and look at little Lucy here, she looks- wow she looks just like Noir doesn’t she?”

“Hmm, that’s an exaggeration, she just has Noirs’ face shape and eyes. Oh, and don’t get too enthralled by Life, Lucy; she’s crueler than she looks”.  Life’s radiant eyes dazzled as she flipped her curls as a wicked smirk spread on her face. “You always have to spoil the fun”. Death laughed, “well someone had to warn the child, didn’t they? Come now Life, join us for tea and madeleines”.

“Pfft, you and your little tea cakes-”

“Shut up,” Death said as he poured another cup of tea for Life.  “So, Lucy how do you like your tea?”

“Sugary and creamy”Lucy chirped, still watching the way Life almost seemed to glow and bring light to the dim study.  “Ugh you monster, oh well, some cream and sugar for Lucy, and I know that Life likes her tea with honey and lemon”.  Life produced a lemon out of thin air and squirted a bit into her cup of tea.  Lucy opened her mouth to speak. “No puns please, the ‘life gives you lemons’ jokes get really, really old” Death said quickly.  “Come now Death, the only thing that gets old around here is your weird skeleton aesthetic, I mean it’s just overly dramatic in my opinion” Life said with a mischievous grin as she sipped her tea.  Lucy watched in awe as Death grudgingly shifted from a cloaked skeleton to a dark haired man in a black suit.  Death muttered something about aesthetic as he took a sip from his cup.  “You guys can shapeshift? Can the reapers and I shapeshift too?”

“Not in a thousand years, literally, we haven’t seen anyone do that by themselves in a little less than a thousand years.

“Oh well, I kinda expected that.”

“You might learn someday, your mom did it once”

“A thousand years ago?”

“She wasn't human; when someone becomes a reaper, they are immortal”

“So, she was born in medieval times?”

Death nodded, “I think she was in her early twenties at the time, just beginning as a reaper.  A wicked man with a strong soul had died, and he wasn’t very happy about it.  After becoming a ghost he drifted off to haunt an enemy of his by driving him mad and chasing him off a cliff.  Noir distracted the ghost at the last minute and reaped him.  Yet while doing so she ended up falling off that cliff, as I ran to help I saw your mother vanish into thin air, and a crow flew in her place.  The crow flew up to me and suddenly transformed into Noir, who if I recall had been grinning like a maniac the whole time.  That’s the last actual shape shifting I’ve seen from a reaper”.  A thousand thoughts and emotions filled Lucy’s mind.  Her heroism would’ve ended her, perhaps she’s gone missing for similar reasons.  “Well, that’s the last time a reaper has shapeshifted, but I had a kindler who shapeshifted into a cat around three years ago, yet I always thought he seemed more like a dog person,” Life said, changing the topic.

“What are kindlers?”

“Death has his reapers, I have my kindlers, they go around, sparking life into pregnant mothers”.

“Doesn’t that mean that a kindler had to spark life into my Mom, a reaper?”

Life nodded, “Yes, it does seem a bit odd, I’ve been looking for the kindler that sparked you into existence since yesterday.  Despite being easier said than done, I found her this morning, she’s the same kindler that sparked your mother, a few other reapers, and even a few of her fellow kindlers,  so I thought that we could pay her a visit to ask about Noir’s absence”.  

“Good plan,” Death said in agreement as Lucy looked down at her tea in confusion.  She found it pretty unnerving that they would be meeting the person who practically gave life to both herself and her mother along with countless others just as part of her daily routine.  The thought actually seemed put her off her tea.  Death saw her reaction and snickered, “oh Miss Mourn, if you think this is strange already then you’re in for quite a ride”.

Chapter Two

Once they were finished, Death waved a hand over the tea set and it vanished into darkness.  “Shall we then?” Life asked as she twirled out of the living chair she had been sitting in and strutted out of the room.  

“Oh, she meant now? Like- we’re going right now?” Lucy asked.  Death sighed and straightened his tie as he rose from his chair, following his lively friend out of the study.  The hallway outside had a similar, stylishly gothic style as the study.  Lucy took note of the picture frames on the walls, most filled with people whom Lucy assumed were various reapers.  She paused before a portrait of a green eyed woman with high cheekbones and long black hair.  Despite having a smile on her face, the woman had a very brooding, shadowy look to her.  Lucy understood what Life had said about there being a strong resemblance between her and her Mother.  With a little smile, she joined Life and Death at the foot of a staircase.  “Life, you do realize that we could just teleport to your kindler’s house right now?”

“Yes but your study looks gloomy and just a little bit sad, it’s nicer in this hallway, you need to put flowers in there or something”.

“I always end up killing flowers after trying to water them.  You know this, you’ve seen it happen many times”.

“Yes but I like to encourage you to do otherwise because you look like a depressed kitten every time you fail at gardening”.

“That’s insulting and it doesn’t even make sense…”Death muttered while blush spread across his face.

Life shushed him as a gold staff appeared from her hand and the world disappeared into glimmering light.  A second later they stood in what appeared to be in the kitchen of a luxury apartment with a view of the busy streets of New York City.  “Amy are you home? Me, Death, and Noir Arquette’s kid are here, we want to talk to you”.  The only response was silence.  “Let me rephrase that, Ambrosia Galanis you better get out here, ‘cause it’s a matter of Life and Death and I will personally release my wrath against you”.  There was some shuffling heard from the other room and a woman rushed in.  She was tall with curly brown hair and tanned skin, despite having a gleam in her eyes that Lucy normally would have found a little intimidating, the effect was ruined by the terrified expression on the Ambrosia’s face.  “Guys, I didn’t know anything about Noir’s disappearance, I just heard about it yesterday, I’m sorry but I can’t help you”.

“Well you seem a little worrisome considering that you know nothing,” Life noted with a skeptical glare as her staff began to glow as her eyes darkened.

“No I’m telling the truth! Well, I felt her grow distant, you know? I thought it was nothing at first but after a while I got worried…” she trailed off with a look of terror in her eyes as she backed away from the dangerous glares coming from Life and Death.  Lucy looked at Ambrosia, who was practically cowering in front of her.  So this is who sparked my existence?  Her patience was growing thinner by the second.  “Listen up, I don’t care how much these two scare you.  If you know anything about what happened to my Mom you might as well spit it out right now instead of sitting here like a pathetic bundle of fear,” Lucy growled as she stepped forward from Death’s side.  If anything, this somehow seemed to frighten her more than Life did.  She mustered a smile as she looked down at Lucy’s green eyed stare.  “Look how you’ve grown up, you remind me of Noir”

“So I’ve been told. Information. Now.”

Ambrosia’s smile faded, “look, I last saw her the other day reaping a suicide after sparking someone a few minutes before.  Of course, I stopped and said hi to her, apparently she was going to meet up with the Balthazar Jones so she was in a bit of a hurry.  But I’m sure that Balthazar had nothing to do with the disappearance; he wouldn’t do anything like that I’m sure”.   Death shifted his jaw, “Balthazar is one of my strongest reapers; if he was responsible for this, I’ll impale him with my scythe,” he growled, gripping his scythe tightly enough for Lucy to see the whites of his knuckles.  “Thank you for your reluctant cooperation, Ambrosia.  But I’ll keep a careful eye on you considering just how willing you were to hold back information from me,” Life said to Ambrosia, who had a look of relief on her face before it was filled with shame once more.

“Of course,my Lady, I promise to keep in touch if I learn anything”.  Life gave a nod of approval, and with a wave of Death’s scythe, the room disappeared into darkness.  Lucy blinked and staggered into what appeared to be an empty store. ”You know what Mr. Death I think I would like a warning next time we teleport, what are we going to do now anyway, where are we?”

Death sighed “well since Life’s almost-traitor didn’t have an answer to whatever happened to Noir, I suppose I’ll have to go beat it out of Balthazar”.  Life shifted her jaw, “it’s not my fault that Ambrosia was tight lipped about the subject, she’s been loyal to me since ancient times, I won’t punish her too much for her weird thing for Balthazar.”

“She’s been around since ancient times?”

“Yes, she’s one of my oldest followers, yet I thought she would’ve at least developed some better tastes in men over time”.  Death laughed, “Well, I won’t judge people’s interests, Balthazar isn’t so bad as he seems; of course, that was before I knew he was involved in all of this”.  Lucy was curious about this Balthazar Jones now, she looked around again, “Oookay but you still haven’t told me why we’re in a store, that doesn’t have any items, or employees, or anything?” Life and Death looked around, as if they were just noticing this.  Death didn’t have an emotionless skull to hide his annoyance, “this was a shop for dress clothes a few weeks ago, wasn’t it Life?”

“It had a sign saying that it was clearing out in two weeks, Death”

“Oh,” he said looking disappointed, “very well, we’re in a mall in Seattle, Balthazar hangs out here most of the time, let’s go,” Death proceeded out of the shop and into the busy shopping mall as Life turned to Lucy and murmured,

”he truly is horrible at remembering dates like this, I keep telling him to put little reminders on his fridge but he’s impossibly stubborn”.

“Isn’t anyone in the shopping mall going to question seeing a man and woman holding scythes and staffs?”

“Ha, nope, we go completely unnoticed by mortals, unless we want them to see us”.

Sure enough no one questioned Death, who was twirling his scythe like a cane, or radiant Life, who was strutting through the shoppers without receiving a single glance, not even from the group of guys who were snickering at a display in a lingerie shop.  They went unnoticed by everybody, all except one.  

Sitting by the edge of a fountain, a messy haired man in a leather jacket was giving the trio an impish grin.  As Lucy drew near she saw that the curtains of mousy untamed hair were hiding a long scar that ran from the bridge of his nose to his cheekbone, despite his grungy appearance, he still had a somewhat handsome face.  “Hey Mister Grim, it’s been a while!  This isn’t about that time I used my scythe to open that door even though it turned out that the door wasn’t stuck, just a ‘pull to open’ door I was trying to push?”

Death looked befuddled as he processed that question. “No, um, we might talk about that later but that’s not why I came here.  But I think you know that, Balthazar.”

Balthazar Jones went pale as Death looked him in the eyes.  He pushed a lock of matted hair back and stared at the floor, “I know what it might look like, but I just wanted to warn her.  I knew what was going to happen and I told her to prepare herself, is...is she okay?”

Life’s staff began to glow and spark in an violet manner, as if it was ready to explode.  Death looked eerily calm for a second before he swung his scythe at Balthazar and stopped the blade as it was only an inch away from his throat.  Life put a hand on Death’s shoulder, “Come on Death, you don’t want to kill him, you want to keep him alive so he can suffer.”

Death ignored this comment and kept his dark eyed gaze fixed on Balthazar.

“Zar, I know that you’re actually a good guy, but if you don’t tell me the whole story people are about to be quite startled by such a sudden decapitation,”

Balthazar Jones whimpered, “really man? I thought this whole threatening stuff was more of Lady Life’s sorta thing.  B-but yeah, I understand.  I knew that they were going to set her up.  That’s why I’d wanted to talk to Noir, to warn her.  She just wouldn’t listen she said that if they wanted her she would go to them and start a fight”.  Lucy summed up her courage and slowly moved Death’s scythe away from Balthazar’s throat, thankfully he didn’t put up much of a fight.  

“Who took her? Tell me what happened to my Mom.”  

Balthazar took a deep breath, “Death and Life have lost reapers and kindlers in the past, sometimes they themselves are reaped, other times, they just disappeared.  They overused their magic, or got caught in a barrier, so they left without Death’s guidance; we always assumed that they died or just erased from existence” he breathed shakingly.  

“We were wrong.  They- they transformed”.

Life scoffed as her staff’s glow began to go out of control as it burned white hot, “they transformed into what? Into dust? Don’t chide about lost kindlers and reapers, Jones, or you might just join them.”

Balthazar swallowed. “I’m not kidding, or chiding- whatever this isn’t a joke! Reapers and kindlers, we’re immortal, magical even, but deep down we’re still human, these things, I don’t even know what they’ve become. I saw them, among them I saw Chetan Malhotra, he was a friend and fellow reaper, until he disappeared a hundred years ago.  He was different when I saw him, a monster, his appearance and even his...mentality was unrecognizable. Like a monster, with..all these shadows, not like Death’s, these ones were just...wrong.”

Lucy recalled her nightmare from the previous night and shuddered.  It was all wrong.

Yet Life arched an eyebrow, unconvinced.  Death looked as if he was ready to swing his scythe right back at Balthazar’s head.

“Just how do you even know this, how did you know what would happen to Noir?”

“Well you see, that’s where it get’s weird.  It um, it kinda came to me in a dream”.

Lucy stared, unblinking. “You expect me to find my Mom based off of some dream? I had a dream that Cthulhu became a ballerina against his parent’s wishes and that hasn’t happened yet...at least I don’t think it has-”

“What Miss Mourn is trying to say is that you’re an idiot when you’re awake and I think your brain turns into solid rock when you sleep.”

Life smirked at this comment while Balthazar looked a bit hurt.  “Yo that’s a bit harsh, Mr. Grim.”

“My point is that you seem pretty unreliable at the moment”.  

Balthazar’s voice wavered, “That’s what Arquette thought before she was set up.  She didn’t believe me but I had a dream, no, a nightmare where they surrounded me, one second they were the kindlers and reapers who I used to know and the next they showed themselves as what they’d become.  They want a world without Life or Death, they want the rest of the kindlers and reapers to join them,  First they tried to make me become like them, they told me to open up a barrier and fall through it and I would be like them, I could kill whoever I wanted without consequence, I would never have to die, I wouldn’t have to struggle through life; I would just join them in their sick version of peace.  When I said no to them, the dream shifted. I saw a cage with a little light inside it, a little bird, a crow I think, flew towards the light, when suddenly the others, their arms sprouted from the bars of the cage and dragged the bird in, when it entered the cage it turned into Noir”.

Lucy’s mouth went dry as she looked up at Death.  “My Mom turned into a crow once,” she uttered, but she was thinking so much more. A little light.  Death nodded grimly, “Indeed, okay Zar, this um...this seems like a pretty legitimate dream, do you know where they are right now?”.  Balthazar shook his head, “I’m sorry man, I know that Arquette was-”

“It’s okay Balthazar, you’ve told us all you could, I’ll keep in touch with you.  Unfortunately people are starting to stare at you and Lucy talking to yourselves right now so we’ll have to get going”.  And so he promptly turned and walked away.  “I’ll see you later, Jones,” Life said before running after Death.  Lucy thought over everything that Balthazar had said about his dream.  

‘Lucy Luz’. L u c y  L i g h t.

In my dream I breathed a light while being strangled by shadows.

“Well that’s interesting,” she said aloud.  Lucy had caught up with Life, “What’s interesting, that Balthazar Jones just happened to have a dream that explained what could be going on right now while also bringing up an issue to distract us from Noir?” she asked sarcastically.  

“Um, nope. That’s not what I found interesting.  What I did find interesting is that a light was in a cage, my Dad’s only nickname for me is Lucy Luz, my Grandma was hispanic so she taught him spanish while he was growing up, apparently ‘luz’ means ‘light’ in spanish. Plus I had this nightmare the other day where a light came out of my mouth.  Isn’t it a little more than weird that my Mom just happened to be flying towards a light?” she asked quietly.  Life furrowed her brow, “that is rather interesting”.  When they caught up with Death, he was waiting for them in front of  a coffee shop.  “Lucy, this seems to have grown to be a far more dangerous problem than I had anticipated, I think you might have to begin a career as a reaper”.

Chapter Three

“I’m sorry what now?”

Lucy asked as her cat eared hat nearly flew off as she skidded to a halt.  Life appeared just as startled as Lucy did. “Um, Death? You’re my oldest friend, my business partner, and as much as I hate to admit it, you’re a bit of a genius too.  But I don’t know where you’re going with this.  I’m not sure if you know this, but Lucy is only twelve years old, she’s a child. You can’t force her into this!”

“Life darling, I’m not forcing the girl into this, it’s just a suggestion! With danger on the rise she’s going to need to tap into her powers to defend herself!” he snapped back.  “Don’t ‘Life darling’ me!”

Lucy ran the words over in her mind as Life and Death’s argument blurred out into the background.  That was until their argument got loud enough to make it hard to block it out.  Lucy took a deep breath and looked up. “SHUT UP!” she shrieked.  Life, Death, and a few shoppers stopped and looked at Lucy, who had now fallen silent.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be that loud,” she added, lowering her voice,”anyway I accept your offer, I think I should be able to have some magic on hand and I would love to help you with your work”.  Death had a brief look of satisfaction as Life glared at him with eyes like golden daggers.  She didn’t look convinced.

“Lucy, this business is not a game, you’ll grow up, but after that you won’t age unless you choose to eventually retire, but I have seen that humans find immortality addictive.  You can see your home, your friends, family, everything you know may grow old and perish, you may even be the ones to take them to the afterlife.  I’ve seen immortals get torn apart by this, yet they still feel the need to live forever.  I don’t want you to get drawn into this unless you truly want to”.  Lucy pursed her lips, “well, I don’t have any friends and I barely have any family so I guess I might as well do something cool like reaping the souls of the dead,” she said decidedly.  Death gave Life an ‘I told you so’ look of smugness as she stared in puzzlement.  “Are you sure you don’t have any friends? Not even a crush or good acquaintance, you seem like a likeable girl”.   

Lucy lit up, “Wowee, do you really mean it? Plenty of adults say that and regret it later but I think you really mean it!  Actually the sad part is that I think you guys are the closest thing I have to friends. Huh, that’s depressing when I say it out loud”.

While Life smiled awkwardly, Death’s face softened in pity as he smiled, “if you truly feel ready, then let’s go get you a scythe”.

“So this scythe is mine? You’re actually giving a magic, fully functioning blade to me, a child?  That. Is. Awesome!”  After teleporting back to Death’s house, he had led her back to his study and held out his hands, producing a small, ebony handled scythe with ornate carvings and a smooth, curved blade.  “What kind of metal is it?”

“Honestly I just call it death metal.”

“Like, the music genre?”

“Yeah…I think one of my ex reapers coined the term for the music genre to annoy me…just put your hands on the handle.”

“Oh, okay.”

It was more like a mini-scythe, smaller than a baseball bat, but it still had odd aura of power around it.  Lucy placed her hands on the scythe, it felt right in her hands, like it had been a missing part of her before.  “Don’t get too excited Lucy, you still need to agree to the terms and conditions,” Life said from her seat at the reading chair, engrossed in a book. Death rolled his eyes amusedly and turned his gaze back to Lucy.

“Lucia Nicolette Mourn, do you swear to obey the laws of Death?”

“Yes, but I’ll like to hear the laws and how the heck do you know my full name? That’s a bit creepy.”

“Just shut up and continue the ancient ritual.”

“Did you name the laws after yourself?”

Death ignored her and continued. “Do you swear to send the departed souls to their rightful place, to be unbiased as you open the various doors to the afterlife?”

“I do”

“Do you swear not to use the power of the scythe for greed, and with the exception of my permission, to use it only to transition the deceased?”

“I do”

“Do you swear to remain loyal to me and to Life for the rest of your immortality?”

“I do”

“Then do you accept all the duties of being a reaper?”

“Yaaaaasss!”

Life bit back a giggle as Death facepalmed, hiding his half-smile.

“A bit of an untraditional response but okay. Lucy Mourn, you are now a reaper”.

Lucy released a shriek of maniacal laughter as she did a violent little victory dance that caused Death to step back nervously.  “Can I have my scythe now?”

“I’m seriously regretting this decision,” he said as he set the scythe in her hands.  “Wait a minute I have something else too,” he said as he stood up and reached into the desk behind him, pulling out a leather container.  “You can switch down the blade of the scythe- no not like that you’ll slice your hand off-that’s it-okay now you have it, anyway after switching it down it can fit in this case which you can wear on your back, almost like a quiver”.  Lucy put her scythe in the case and slung it over her back, “sweet, but what if someone asks what’s inside?”

“There’s a symbol by the opening flap-there you go, now mortals can’t see it.”

“Couldn’t it just be a button, why is it a fancy little symbol?”

“That’s what I suggested,” Life interjected from her reading chair.

“Magic symbols look cooler, plus the magic used to place the symbol is a lot easier than having to manufacture a button on them.”

“That’s a good point,” Life agreed with a frown as she put down her book.  Lucy reached back in her case and pulled out the scythe.  “So how do I use this? It doesn’t seem long enough to plant into the ground like Death does it”.  Life laughed, “he does that for aesthetic and style, it actually doesn’t need to be that dramatic.”

“You do the exact same thing.”

“I can have style and aesthetic too.”

“Aside from style and aesthetic, all you need to do to activate it is will it to do as you ask, sometimes planting it into the ground or doing a sort of pose is the thing that helps you bring out your own power, like the old quote from Galileo Galilei, ‘You cannot teach a man anything; he must find it within himself’. Basically it’s your scythe, you can figure out how to use it,” Death explained.  

“When do I start?”

“Tomorrow, approximately 11 am, it’s getting late, I think your father may be getting off work soon,” Lucy checked the time on her phone, of course Death was right, it was 6:20, James Mourn would be home soon enough.  

Lucy Mourn took a shower and changed into her pink nightgown. Upon being teleported back home, which now looked even more mundane than it had before  It’s been one hell of a day, now I’m one of Death’s reapers on a mission to save my Mom.  Lucy began to process how eerily calm she was about the matter. A matter of Life and Death?  She giggled and skipped to her room, where she took out the scythe out of her case and ran a finger down the carvings on the handle, my new favorite toy.  “Lucy Luz, I’m back from work”.  Lucy sighed, shoved the scythe back into it’s case and placed a finger over the symbol by the opening a second before her Father walked in and adjusted his glasses, “I wanted to apologize for how harsh I was yesterday, I understand now that you were acting out because you just wanted to talk,”

“Sure Dad, because my weird changing body and my weird changing mind are rendering me incapable of starting a conversation like any other human being”.

“That’s a bit much but yeah, that’s what I gathered from it”, he responded, apparently ignorant to the overpowering sarcasm in her voice.  “Anyway I thought that I could make dinner tonight, does spaghetti sound good?”

Lucy sighed again, at least her Dad got something right. “Yes, spaghetti’s good.”

“Maybe after dinner we can,um, talk? About stuff?”

“Sure, Dad, I need to- um study some maths. We have a test after break.”

“Oh, okay Luz,” he said after going to start dinner.

It was moments like this where her Dad seemed to try, and that’s what mattered.  She wished she could tell him about everything that had happened that day.  She wanted to see his face when he learned what her Mother had been up to for the last twelve years.  The mother of your child reaps the souls of the dead for a living.  Lucy giggled, she wouldn’t tell him yet, she would wait to tell him after finding her Mom so that they could all tell the story together.

Like a normal family.

The thought of it put a smile on Lucy’s face.  She pulled out her sketchbook and started dragging a pencil across one of the empty pages.  By the time she was finished she was looking at a cartoonish sketch of Death, Life, herself, and her parents.  She had remembered her mother’s face from the photograph she had seen earlier, Death wasn’t too hard to sketch, in fact Lucy had drawn Grim Reaper-looking figures before, so the only difference was that instead of posing in a surreal manner, he was simply having a cup of tea. It was hard for her to capture Life’s supernatural beauty on the page, but she had managed to draw an alluring woman with Life’s same features and style, which was close enough. Then she drew James Mourn, sitting down and listening intently as Lucy held her new scythe and talked to him.  She drew the picture as something to work for, no matter what sort of trials she was going to end up facing, the sketch would be a promise.  A promise that Lucy was determined to keep with all of her being.  

“Dinner’s ready!” her Dad shouted from the kitchen.

“I’m coming,” Lucy replied as she hastily put away her sketchbook and skipped over to the dining room to set the table for two.

“So Lucy, what did you do today?” James Mourn asked once they were seated.

Lucy froze for second, afraid she would spit out her drink.

“Stuff.  I did stuff. I did the chores I needed to do, um…”

It was never this hard for Lucy to think of normal thing to do before then.  “TV, I read TV, watched books, y’know...things”.

“Um..cool, that’s cool. I did stuff too. Not that kind of stuff of course, I was doing paperwork and things all day.”

There was a minute or so of awkward silence.  “I gather that you wanted to talk about your Mom the other day, you were wondering if she’s dead?”

Given the recent information from Balthazar Jones, Lucy was starting to wonder that.  “Well, I guess, we don’t talk about her often, and sometimes I wish that I knew more about where I came from”.  And I did receive a load of that so I can’t complain much.  

“Well then, if you really want to know more about her, we met while I was in college. I was a student at Cambridge University and I was trying to take the bus to school that morning but since there was such a horrible car accident, there was enough traffic that I decided that it would probably be faster if I just walked the rest of the way instead.”

Lucy put quite a bit of effort into keeping a straight face as she was beginning to grasp that her Dad had likely interrupted her Mom in the middle of a reaper work shift.  

“As I got off and started walking I saw her walking away from the area where the accident was.  I figured it must have been pretty bad if the accident had delayed the traffic for such a long time so I went up to her and asked if she knew if the drivers were okay.  I remember her taking off her sunglasses and I panicked for a second because I realized I had just spoken to such a pretty woman.  She looked oddly calm as she was telling me that they’d died.  It seems a bit sick to fall in love with someone as they talked about dead people, but I did so anyway, I think it was the French accent.”

Lucy put her fork down.

“Please tell me you didn’t make plans for coffee after several people had just died, that’s just a tiny bit too weird.”

“Of course not, I asked if the crosswalk where I needed to get off to the University was blocked and well, it was, getting rid of my plans for the day.  I don’t think she had much else to do either, given that she had started a conversation, asking if I was a student and such, so a few moments later I knew that her name was Noir Arquette, it seemed like a fitting name, she had a dark sort of look to her in a way, as if she was constantly mourning, maybe that’s why she started dating me after I saw her again and we talked few days later.  It seemed to be a second chance for me to ask her out, so I did.  She didn’t like to talk about her family, saying that they had died long before then, but she said that she worked at a morgue, making the irony of all of it even sweeter.”

You don’t even know the scale of the irony here.

“We fell deeper in love over time, and over a year later she found that she was pregnant with you.  Even though we weren’t married, everything went smoothly for a while, Grandma and Grandpa were supportive of us and we were happy.  And when you were born everything was complete for a while, I’d never seen your mother smile quite so brightly after seeing you for the first time, and that’s saying a lot because she was always smiling, a lot like you do.  But one day I woke up and she was gone, there was a note that said that she was sorry and she hoped to see us again, but that was it, half of her belongings were still there but she was gone.  After thinking it over I realized she had a few friends she had said were back in France.  There was a guy named Mort who she had been friends with.  She said they were friends, and that guy Mort worked with another friend named Liv, I just assumed they were a couple, but your Mom didn’t talk about them too often.  In the end, she could’ve ran away with Mort, or maybe she just wasn’t ready to have a child.  Either way, she was gone”.

Lucy looked down at what was left of her spaghetti, she didn’t know what to say.  Hey Dad, Mort and Liv are actually Death and Life, and they’re all just good pals that deal with dead people and living people as their job?  She figured that probably wouldn’t go over well.  “You’ll know the whole story eventually Dad, I know it”.  James Mourn looked up, suddenly looking older and more worn than before.  

“If you say so Lucy Luz...but um, I hope dinner wasn’t too poisonous, and I have to go do the dishes”.  Lucy gave a reassuring smile to her Father and went back to her room.  She was determined to have a conversation with her Mother when she found her, and she was eager to have a talk with Death the next day.

By the time she woke up the next morning, Lucy’s Dad had left for work and she had started getting ready for her training with Death.  By 11:24 Lucy had been waiting for a little while and Death appeared in a shroud of black smoke that had disappeared as soon as it had materialized.  

“Good morning Lucy, are you ready for our training session?”

“Yep, right after you tell me why my Mom wasn’t able to stay with me when I was a baby.”

“I’m sorry what?”

“My Dad said that before leaving she had left a note saying that she had to go.  Why couldn’t she have stayed?”

“Well, there’s no reason she wouldn’t have been allowed to, I have plenty of reapers with mortal spouses and families, heck I have reapers whose entire families work with me and Life.  She could have simply told me that she had a family instead of running of to ‘work’ or hiding away all the time.  I’m sorry Lucy but I don’t know why she would’ve left you,” he said with a touch of bitterness on the subject.  Lucy nodded in understanding as she picked her scythe case off of the chair she was sitting in and pulled it over her shoulder.  

“Well then, I guess I’m ready to do some training.”

Death gave an odd skeletal look of approval before slamming his scythe into the ground and teleporting them to a sidewalk in a busy city with plenty of tall buildings looming over their heads.  “Where are we?”

“Seoul, South Korea, and if my scythe is correct, as it always is, we’re about to see someone die”.

Chapter Four

“You can’t just say that someone’s about to die and then start walking down the street!  It’s not very polite for anyone as confused as myself.”

“We’re about to reap a soul, it’s a rather major part of the job.”

“So we’re reaping a soul in Seoul?”

“Was that pun really necessary?”

“Yep.”

Death tilted his skull in a way that suggested that he was rolling his eyes.  “Seoul has one of the highest suicide rates in the world, so one of these buildings is more than likely going to have someone fall down the side of it in three....two...one…”

A screech rang out and before any of the surrounding people could process what had happened, a woman was lying face down on the pavement.  

“Holy- you’re right, there’s a dead person!” “Is it really? I would never have known,” he said with his words dripping in sarcasm.  

“Well, Jesus I’ve never seen someone’s death before, oh my god shouldn’t we do something?  I feel like I should be much more disturbed than I am right now,why am I so calm about this?”

“Everyone is calling the police, the hospital, etc. But it doesn’t change the fact that she’s dead...- come on Lucy don’t look at me like that- watch this”.  Lucy watched as a wisp rose from the woman’s grotesquely sprawled body and transformed into a ghost.  The woman’s ghost rose, with a petrified look on her face as she saw medics take away her body, then her gaze shifted over to Lucy and Death.  She began frantically speaking in Korean, looking like she was about to cry.  

“Don’t worry Gi, I’ll be here to make sure you’ll get to your afterlife, you can’t change anything now”.

Lucy was confused.  After thinking for a moment, she realized that it was only reasonable that Death should be able to understand every language, everyone (no matter what country they lived in) died eventually.  Death seemed to notice Lucy’s puzzlement as he placed a cold, skeletal hand on Lucy’s shoulder.  Suddenly the ghostly woman’s words became clear.

“I was just getting so tired of living and now, here I am! But now I can’t believe I’m dead, I’m regretting it a little actually...it’s too late now though, isn’t it?” she asked Death with translucent tears in her eyes.

“I’m afraid so, Miss Gi.  But everything should be alright after I ask you a few questions, with my assistant,Lucy Mourn, here to help,” he explained, gesturing towards Lucy, who gave an awkward little wave.

And for the magician’s final act, assisted by the lovely Lucy Mourn, he takes a suicide victim to the afterlife!*applause*

Death pulled a small, leather bound booklet out of a pocket in his robe and handed it to Lucy, “go to page 3 and read the questions,” he murmured under his breath.

Lucy fumbled with the packet and found page 3, much to the confusion of the ghost woman, Gi. Lucy bit her lip as she looked down at the paper and saw a series of questions written.

How did the deceased die?

“So um, Gi, this is a stupid question but how did you die?”

Gi pushed back a ghosty strand of hair, “Young girl, did you not see me just jumping off of a building?”

“Yes. Yes you did.”

She looked down at the second question.

Did the deceased find themselves to be just of heart?

“Do um, this is really weird, do you think you’re ‘just of heart’?”

Gi tilted her head and furrowed her brow.

“Um,” Death interjected, “she just means if you think you’re a good person.”

Gi’s expression softened.  “No, I’m useless and I don’t fit into society, that’s why I left.”

Lucy looked at Death for help.

“But if you looked at the world in a different light, and if society didn’t break you, then how would you see yourself?”Death asked softly.  

Gi looked down, “if I was able to fix everything, if I could find a purpose, then I would be good, looking back, I wish I could have talked to my family.  My aunt might miss me.  I feel bad about it now.”

Lucy’s scythe began to give of a bizarre, gentle vibrating feeling.  She looked down and saw that one of the sigils along the sides seemed to glow white-ish.  “You’ll see her again, sooner than it may seem,” Death assured her.  

“Now Lucy, this is when you open the door to the afterlife.”

“What.”

“You can do it, trust your scythe.”

“What.”

Lucy bit her lip and gripped her scythe tighter.  What if she thought of it less as an object? It felt like a part of her, but what if it was a part of her?  Then all she would need to do is make a simple cut with the blade, cut open the door.  Lucy thrust out her scythe and cried out as a bright yet shadowy sort of stream shot out of the blade and formed itself into an archway.  Holy crap that worked.  

“That was faster than I expected,especially considering that it’s her first day on the job,” Death explained to Gi, who for a second seemed to be regretting her decision to die. Yet within a moment she drifted towards the archway and it all vanished.  

Lucy staggered and took a deep breath, “so this is what you do?”

“Yes, this is what I do, and you’ve completed your first training session.”

“It’s pretty cool, I hope she went to heaven, or...whatever...what happens afterward anyway?”

“Hell if I know, why would the doorman know what happens at the party?”

“That’s a good analogy. But is the afterlife-opening always so dramatic?”

“No, it actually looks a pretty choppy and anticlimactic the first few times, but at least now you have the main idea of it. I’m actually quite amazed, I was certain that I would need to help you at some point.”

Lucy smiled smugly “I’m special.”

“Well, yes...yes, it would seem so.”

“I’m the chosen one.”

“That sounds stupid.”

“Nope I’m the chosen one”.

Death sighed, “now that you’ve activated the scythe, it should notify you when there’s a death you can take care of.”

“But people die every second,”

“Yes but I have quite a few reapers working for me, so the worst case scenario is that a ghost ends up haunting something for a short period of time but it’s nothing that can’t get cleaned up later.” In a whirlwind of darkness, they arrived in Death’s study, where Life was putting some yellow flowers in a silver, skull shaped vase on the ebony desk.  

“Does she um, live here?” Lucy wondered aloud.  Death chuckled.

“It seems like that sometimes, but no, she kind of leaves for a while then shows up to annoy me again, a bit like weeds. Life darling, did you teleport in here without my permission again?”

Life stopped fussing with the flowers and rolled her eyes.

“It would be nice if you stopped assuming that, Your reaper Mei Katayama opened the door for me.”

“Isn’t she supposed to be in Japan?”

“She’s down in the Halls of the Departed, doing paperwork, apparently six men shot each other at the exact same time so she’s trying to file who killed who.”

“Poor girl, I’ll have to give her a pay raise for this month,” Death sympathized.  

“What are the Halls of the Departed?”

The yellow flowers went into full bloom as Life gave them one last touch, “it’s basically where Death keep files on all dead people in history. Halls of the Departed just sounds nice and intimidating.  My place has the Halls of the Living, which is essentially the same thing but with files on all living people,” Life explained.

“Actually, I was just about to take Lucy by there to the Location Center to further our search for Noir,” Death said.

Lucy raised an eyebrow, “I assume that the Location Center is for locating people?”

“Exactly, I can locate all of the reapers from there,” Death responded as he took a black box from his desk and left the room, black cloak flowing behind him.  “I’ve never understood the skeleton aesthetic,” Life muttered as she and Lucy followed him as he continued down the hall and began to go down the stone staircase.  They had entered a part of the house Lucy hadn’t seen before.  It was similarly decorated to the rest of the house but with more portraits and art on the walls.  As they turned the corner the trio nearly collided with a bespeckled young woman in a leather jacket with several folders in her arms.  

“Death! Life! How nice to see you, I-i’m sorry I was just about to ask you to check these files, I think I’ve finished them up but I want to make sure I know who killed who.  Y’know because these guys all shot each other at once-”

“Yes, Life told me.  It’s nice to see you too Mei,” Death said as the bespeckled reaper, Mei, handed Death the folders.  After running a skeletal hand over them with his head lowered he looked up and nodded, “excellent job Mei, you’ve managed to figure out that Haru shot Gyo who shot Kyle who shot Yuki who shot Greg who shot Ben who shot Haru.  If I didn’t know better I would say that you’ve been working here for forty years instead of fourteen.”

She sighed with a relieved look on her face, “that’s great because for a second I thought that Gyo shot Ben who shot Yuki while he shot Haru while he shot Kyle while he shot Gyo while he, finally, shot Greg.  I would’ve been in the Halls of the Deceased all night if that was the case.”

“Nope, although that would’ve been a disaster, you got it right.” Death said with a proud smile.  Mei’s gaze fell on Lucy, “and who’s the little goth girlscout?”

Lucy took this condescending remark with a smile, “actually I think I’m a little too old to join girl scouts, and it’s too much of a time commitment anyway.”

Mei raised an eyebrow as she glanced questioningly at Life and Death.

“Noir Arquette’s missing and we’re trying to find her with her daughter’s help.  Death also had the genius idea of making Lucy the youngest reaper ever recruited,” Life said with a skeptical glare in her color-shifting eyes.  Death only smiled smugly and cleared his throat.

“Actually, Life darling, you should know that Lucy just performed her first reaping a few moments ago.  And she did so within seconds.”

Mei pushed her rectangular glasses further up her nose,“within seconds, for the first time? Huh, little miss girlscout has a bit of a gift for the necromantic arts.”

Lucy did a little twirl, “necromantic arts, gosh that almost cooler better than soul-reaping, I think that’s what I might call it sometimes”.  

Death looked back at Mai, “we were about to take her to the Location Center to find Noir, would you mind assisting, Miss Katayama?”  

Mei nodded and continued around the corner to a large set of double doors.  Above the doorframe there was a golden plaque.

The Location Center

Lucy’s eyes widened as she entered the circular room.  There were quite a few small, silvery black stones placed along the walls, each stone had engravings on it’s edges, just like the engravings on the scythes. In the center there appeared to be a raised pool filled with a luminous substance resembling mercury.  

Lucy smiled in awe, “wow, what’s that shiny stuff? Can I touch it?”

“Do you want your hand singed off?” Death asked grimly.

“I can’t tell if that was a warning or a threat but still want to touch it.”

“Uh, Girl Scout, I would strongly advise against that. It’s the torilnkal, when an immortals’ DNA comes in contact with it it can help locate them or their recent reaping. Yet it’s pretty deadly for anyone other than Life or Death to touch it” Mei explained.

“I said I wanted to, not that I was going to. It just looks so pretty.”

Mei shook her head, “as insane and fun as your little reaper seems, I’ve gotta get back to Tokyo, there’s this other kid and a lot of murder, and then this rubber duck,” she explained as if that made perfect sense.

“Anyway see you later guys,” she then twirled her scythe and disappeared.

“I like her. Anyway what about the deadly silver stuff?”

Life laughed as she ran a smooth brown hand along the wall’s silvery black stones, “I have a kindler who touched the torilnkal, she got a really high quality prosthetic foot though.”

“A foot?”

“Somehow she thought that if she used her toe to touch it t wouldn’t be as deadly...to be fair she was a bit drunk when she did it though.  Moral of the story; don’t be an idiot and get drunk while standing next to torilnkal.”

Lucy joined Life by the wall stones, “What are these?”

“There’s a stone for each reaper, I’ll get you one too soon enough, now go up to the torilnkal.”

“I thought you said my hand would burn off?”

“Don’t touch it, just approach it, gosh Lucy pay attention.”

Lucy shrugged and skipped towards the silvery pool.  As she grew closer it smelled like paper and pencil lead, with a hint of Cedarwood.  Lucy drew close enough for the glimmering light of the torilnkal  reflected on her face.  

“Now what?”

Death reached for her hand and before Lucy could react he grazed it with the blade of his scythe. Lucy gasped and sprung back, clutching her bleeding hand.  Death calmly dipped the edge of his scythe in the torilnkal, letting Lucy’s blood drip into the shimmering liquid in a grimly beautiful manner.

“You just cut me you old skeleton bastard!”

Death recoiled a little at these words as Life stifled a giggle “That’s a bit of a harsh thing to say, but yes I’m very sorry, I can get you a bandage and fix it up?” “No you just cut me! You literally just sliced my hand open, what the hell man?”

“Things like this hurt less when they’re unexpected. I didn’t want to hurt you more than necessary”

“Yes but it still hurts. Because I’m bleeding. And you just cut me. I mean you could’ve just asked me for a blood sample.  Bastard…”

Death waved his hand and a spool of bandages appeared, he looked at Lucy reproachfully “I can bind it, and Life can heal the cut.”

Lucy cautiously held out her bleeding right hand.

At least it’s not my dominant hand…

Lucy pouted and scowled as Death wrapped a bandage around her hand, “I’m not trusting you. You had gained some Lucy Trust Points earlier but you just lost them.”

“Once again, I’m sorry, and that hurts Lucy, it really does.”

“Not as much as  my damn hand.”

“But you have something called ‘Lucy Trust Points’? That’s speaking in the third pers-”

“My hand. Is still. Bleeding.”

Death hung his head as he finished up the bandage and Life stepped forward to grasp her bandaged hand.  Life’s own hands started glowing as a sharp pain shot up Lucy’s arm. Lucy cried out when the pain suddenly stopped as soon as it had started.  

“Healing sometimes hurts kiddo, you have to used to it,” she said with a wicked little smirk.  Lucy took a mental not to take away a few Lucy Trust Points for Life later.  

“Look, the torilnkal’s taking effect,”

Lucy whirled around as her gaze fixed on the silver and red pool, which was now swirling around and shaping itself into a human figure, a woman’s figure, who appeared to be swinging a scythe before walking away.

“Noir,” Life breathed as Death stared at the pool, transfixed despite being familiar with the torilnkal’s properties.  Another figure appeared in the blood.  It was twice as tall as the female figure and was sickly distorted, with multiple, long, twisted limbs.  It wasn’t the only one, all they needed to do was approach the female figure and she seemed to writhe in pain.  A little whine filled the air as it increased into a violent scream.  

Lucy gasped as her green eyes widened in fear, Mom?! The scream was laced with chokes and sobs.  With every second, Lucy began to feel her mother’s agony stronger and stronger. A tear slipped down Lucy’s face as she watched her mother’s silhouette writhe in pain.

“THAT’S ENOUGH!” Death yelled as the image in the torilnkal disappeared.  Lucy’s breath hitched and she stepped back.  Death swallowed, “I’m so sorry Lucy, you shouldn’t have seen that.  But she’s alive, I could sense from the torilnkal that they brought her to some...other realm, like another layer of reality, underneath Paris.”

“I suppose they wanted to kill her in her birthplace…” Life breathed bitterly.

Death’s expression hardened as his dark eyes seemed to look more like voids.

“Was that. Really. Necessary, Life? You couldn’t just acknowledge the situation without saying anything, could you?”

“I’m sorry but it’s the truth. These things aren’t the reapers you used to train, these are hollow monsters that by the looks of it, are planning to add a bit of irony to your fvorite Employee of the Month’s death.   I’m sorry you have to hear this, especially you Lucy, but that’s how it’s going to be unless we pick up our staffs and scythes to save her.”

Lucy blinked away her tears and nodded in understanding before looking at Death.  For a second it looked as if he was about to lash out and cause some sort of mass genocide, but instead he sighed.

“You’re right...you’re right again Life.  We just have to carry on.”  Lucy’s shoulders relaxed as exhaled she backed away from the torilnkal.  She hadn’t realized that she had been holding her breath.  “So...now what? My- my Mom’s being tortured in Paris. Are we gonna go there and ‘carry on’ as you put it?”

Death tilted his head as he saw Lucy forced a determined fire in her eyes, “so far you haven’t ceased to amaze me Miss Mourn, I searched Paris for her yesterday but as I said I’m starting to believe that they opened up another realm.”

“Another realm...like an alternate universe or something?”

“Not quite,” Life answered before Death could open his mouth.

 “It’s more like, a little disposable pocket based on reality where you can do whatever the hell you want, we’re in another realm right now, Death and I created our homes in alternate universes, you know because we wouldn’t want anyone knocking on Death’s door,” she said with a sly grin when she got to the pun.  Lucy smiled, and she felt her spirits lift a little.

“The puns between the two of you are going to become unbearable,” Death murmured, “but yes, that’s an adequate description. Noir’s in a realm of Paris, we just have to figure out where.”

“Then let’s go to Paris and look for a monster realm.”

“Now that you say it like that it sounds stupid.”

Life rolled her eyes at Lucy and Death as she began to glow brightly for a second, When her glowing faded- wait. Was it his glow now? Life appeared to have morphed into a handsome, fair haired man in his late teens.  

“Dress up time guys, I’ll play a college student who’s lost while looking for their campus and looking around France like an idiot.” he said with a French accent.

It seemed as if Death couldn’t help but grin and was immediately cloaked in shadows for a second, when they lifted a young girl not much older than Lucy stood there.  As Lucy half expected, Death was rocking a bit of a gothic look with his- her dark hair and makeup.  Lucy began to feel uncomfortable by how beautiful Death looked, especially in comparison to herself.  “So...do you guys even have genders, if you’re, y’know, universal entities and stuff?”

The pair glanced at eachother and Life shrugged. “We’re whatever we want, really. Does it really matter considering how beautiful we are in every form?” Life asked with a sarcastically innocent bat of his eyes as Death scoffed.

Death was about to swing her scythe, which was now nearly taller than she was, when she stopped and looked at Life.

“What if I’m you’re clueless American cousin who’s confused in a foreign land?”

“Good idea, we’ll do it like that time in Constantinople.”

“I actually had an okay feeling about this plan until you compared it to the Constantinople Incident of 1792.” she said before she swung her scythe into the ground and everything erupted into shadows.

Chapter Five

“So this is Paris? It’s very...Parisian, isn’t it?”

Lucy asked as she attempted to pry her eyes away from the eiffel tower in one direction and the Notre Dame Cathedral in another.  They seemed to have shown up on the patio of a French cafe’, luckily the locals and tourists didn’t seem to give them a second thought.  Life raised an eyebrow at Lucy’s question as he leaned up against a wrought iron fence,“you know what Lucy, no, it’s Egypt, you can tell because of the Eiffel Tower right over there.”

“Keep an eye on your saltiness, buddy; you might turn into Death, anyway how are we finding this realm-portal thingamajig?”

“Normally Death and I can just teleport, but since we were unaware of the realm before now, we’ll have to find the right frequency.”

“Frequency?”

“We’ll have to sense it using our magic, like Death is doing right now, yet she kinda looks stupid while doing it,” he explained while gesturing over to Death, who was standing a few yards away and lowly waving her fingers by her sides as she stared off blankly into the distance.  Despite the her odd movements, Death didn’t really look stupid with  her long black curls billowing in the wind.  Lucy looked back at Life, who’s bright gold eyes assumed a similar distant look as he scanned his surroundings.  Lucy tried to see if she felt anything different, or otherworldly-realm-portalish, but all she noticed was a man approaching the trio with a confused look on his face.  

“Do you kids need any help?” he asked.  The man spoke french, and strangely enough, Lucy could easily interpret it.  She recalled needing Death’s help to understand other languages before, but now that she had performed her first reaping, she must have been just as bilingual.

“Um...well you see sir, um..”

Am I speaking french? Wait, I am speaking french. Gosh that sounds nice…Wait a second-

Lucy nudged Life, who seemed a tad distracted in finding the portal frequency.  He looked over.  “Oh forgive me monsieur, My cousins and I have never been to the Citiy of Love before, and we’re simply taking in the sights,” he casually replied in french as he tousled his thick glossy hair.  The man raised an eyebrow as he looked between Life, Death and Lucy.  The entities certainly could’ve picked forms that looked a little more like Lucy, for between the freckled green eyed girl, the olive skinned dark haired girl, and the fair skinned and haired teen didn’t seem to have much of a resemblance. Fortunately, with Life’s charisma, the man walked away with a shrug, wishing the trio a safe journey.  “Works every time”, Life chuckled with the same wicked snicker he had in his previous, feminine form.  

Death snapped out of her trance, “I’m sorry did I miss something?”

“Just the stupid look on your pretty little face,”

“You know what Life? Look who’s talking,” she snapped through the mild blushing on her cheeks.

Lucy rolled her eyes and stopped as she felt a cold buzz from her scythe sling.  She reached back into the leather container and brought out her scythe, so cool and comforting in her hand.  The scythe began to pull at Lucy, drawing her away from the cafe’ patio and towards the Notre Dame Cathedral in the distance...

“Lucy wait!” Death said, placing a hand on Lucy’s shoulder after catching up with her.   “I felt the pull too, it’s a dead person,”

“Well I kinda gathered that by the fact that I felt it from a scythe meant for reaping the souls of the dead,” Lucy chirped.

“Yes but it’s a trap.”

“Someone died specifically to trap me?” Lucy asked skeptically.

Death pulled her closer with a grim look in her jet black eyes.  “That death is just by the Notre Dame, according to Life, that’s where Noir was born.  Now isn’t it curious, that as we search for mother, we are distracted by a murder in that exact same spot?”

Lucy gasped as her blood ran cold, she gulped.

“Is it her?”

“No. But it seems as if they’re luring us.”

“So do we follow them and find my Mom or do we find an alternative?”

Death shapeshifted back into his suited form and straightened his tie, greatly disturbing Lucy who was watching a pretty teen transform into a grown man in a flash of shadow.   Death kept his hand on Lucy’s shoulder and began to lead her back to the cafe’.

“Wait where are you taking me? Aren’t I gonna help my Mom?  Isn’t that why you’ve been keeping me with you guys this whole time? To find her?”

“I needed your help in finding her, but not saving her, you are going to stay here with Life while I go negotiate.”

Before Lucy could respond she heard someone clear their voice. She turned around to see Life standing not a foot away from them, back in her female form with her arms crossed over her chest.  

“Excuse me, Death but I’m not going to be babysitting Lucy while you go storming off into some unknown realm.  I’m scarier than you anyway.”

“That’s a fair point.”

Life rolled her eyes.  “You know how realms can be anyway, let alone one ruled by monstrous psychopaths.”

“Well what now? We let Lucy strut right in with us, maybe they’ll have mercy on her if she sells them some Girl Scout Cookies-”

“Once again...I’m not in Girl Scouts,” Lucy protested, “and I really want to-”

“No” Death snapped.  Life looked down at Lucy and made what looked like an attempt at a sympathetic smile, “Lucy, you literally became a reaper yesterday. Death’s not even stupid enough to let you in this.”

“Thanks Life”. Death scoffed.

“Anyway, I think you can see our point,” Life reasoned.

Lucy could feel her eyes tearing up.  Life gave a submissive sigh while Death was struck with a panicked expression as he saw the young girl try not to cry.  

“Don’t fret dearie, I have a plan.”

“Is it as good as the ‘Hey-let’s-make-this-kid-a-reaper-and-tell-her=she-can-help-us save-her-mom’ plan?” Life interrupted.

“I think I have a babysitter for her.”

Lucy clenched her fists and began to argue, “NO YOU CAN’T DO THIS-” but before she could finish, Death teleported her with a twirl of his scythe.

When the shadows cleared, Lucy’s scream rang out as she fell onto the cold hard ground.  Wherever she was, it looked as if it was the middle of the night.  She got up on her knees and looked up, there were a lot lit up signs (which Lucy could now read as Japanese) advertising for bars and restaurants.  Great, just dump lil’ old me into some dark alley in a foreign country so that I’m confused and alone, that’s way safer guys! She thought while rising to her feet.

“Y’KNOW WHAT? THAT’S IT. NO MORE ‘LUCY TRUST POINTS’ FOR YOU TWO! ASSHATS!”

She shouted as she stomped her feet on the ground.  But she wasn’t alone.

“What do you think you’re doing, screaming around at this time of night, kid?” barked the gruff voice of a nearby local, who’s stumbling walk suggested he was drunk.  

“The dead man’s right about one thing, you better watch your language, Girl Scout.”

Mei Katayama stood waiting by a motorcycle at the end of the alley, twirling her scythe in her hand.

The man scowled, “what did you just call me?”

“A dead man.  Don’t ask me how but I’m especially good at sensing these sort of things.”

“You’re crazy, all crazy,” he proceeded to mutter about craziness as he walked out of the alley and towards the busy street.

Mei scoffed as she stomped towards Lucy, “I just got a text from Death..I guess that makes me your babysitter...as if I haven’t had enough to deal with.  I mean I know he’s saving Noir but can’t someone else watch you...? I just hope this isn’t like the Constantinople Incident.”

“Did you just let that drunk man walk into the street?”

“Why would I not? Even if I told him not to, we can’t change fate; he would die at the same time, even if not the same exact death.”

“Huh,” Lucy mused.  Another thing Death probably should have told me before dropping me off in Japan.  She looked up at the night sky.

“What time is it?”

“4:00 am, I’m ending my work shift after this guy,”

“Long day?

“Child, you don’t even know.  Long story short I’ve officially decided to never have kids-”

Screeeeech.

Lucy heard the tires from the street.

Mei strode to the side of the road, where a ghostly man stood, dumbfounded.  

“You were right. I’m dead.”

“Uh huh, that’s what it looks like,” Mei said as she turned to Lucy.

“Go ahead, work your magic. I wanna see if Death was right about your skill.”

Lucy swallowed and stepped forward, then stopped.

“Do you have that handbook?”

“What?”

“There was a handbook with the judgment questions in there..?”

“Oh yeah I haven’t looked at that thing in at least a decade,” she laughed as she pulled a leather bound booklet from the bottom of her scythe sling and tossed it to Lucy.  After fumbling the booklet and barely grabbing it before it fell, Lucy flipped to the page with the questions.

“Okay Mister I’ma ask you these questions, and if you’re an alright person and you answer them right then you go to an afterlife of your choosing.”

The ghostly man looked down with a puzzled look on his face, “but I’m an atheist.”

“Oh, sucks to be you then...yeah I have no idea what’s about to happen-”

Mei cleared her throat loudly,

“-but I have confidence. So, how’d you die?”

The ghost man looked at his mangled body on the street, saying nothing.

Lucy winced, “okay yeah I get your point...are you just of h- I mean, were you a good person?”

The ghost man scratched his translucent hair, “I had a drinking problem, dying seems to have sobered me up though...I guess I’m not that bad when I’m sober... I’m a jerk though.”

Lucy’s scythe symbols glowed grey.  Lucy tilted her head and looked to Mei for directions.

“Just do the thing, the symbols don’t have much of an effect on the actual job.”

Despite confused looks from the ghost, Lucy focused and held out her scythe like before, a stream blasted out and formed an archway.  

“It was nice meeting you, good luck!” Lucy chirped as the man drifted into the portal.  

Mei stared in disbelief.  

“You not only just performed a reaping suitable for at least a year-long member, but you freaking wished him luck as he got taken into the gateway of death.”

“Well I don’t think I gave a very good description and I figured it would be nice to make up for it by wishing him luck,” Lucy replied with a shrug.

Mei smirked and tilted her head, “I’m starting to like you, you’re a really nice kid, creepy as hell...but nice.”

“I get that a lot,” Lucy said with a grin as Mei started walking towards her motorcycle.  

Lucy froze in her steps, “can I ride it?”

Mei turned around, “no, you’re going to run behind my bike as fast as you can until we get to my house.”

“Couldn’t we teleport there?”

Mei shrugged, “Yeah, but Suzy is a smoother, not-as-nausea-inducing ride.”

“Suzy?”

“The name of my Suzuki bike.”

Mei hopped on her bike and turned on the engine, then gave Lucy an expectant glare.  She cautiously pulled herself onto the bike, sitting awkwardly behind Mei.  

“What? Do you wanna end up like our friend on the street? Hold on, Girlscout.”

Lucy gripped her arms tighter around Meri’s waist, close enough to smell her leather jacket and for Mei’s dark brown ponytail to whip Lucy’s face.  Suddenly they took off, and as Lucy suspected, the ride was far more pleasant than a teleportation.  

“Whoohoo!” she accidentally cried into Mei’s ear.  Lucy muttered an apology as Mei clenched her teeth and the bike wavered dangerously.  Yet the apology was swept away by the wind rushing in her ears as Lucy stuffed her hat in her coat pocket and let her hair whip around her head.  Through the brown locks over her eyes she could see the bright lights and signs of Tokyo.  She continued in this daze of bewilderment until Suzy slowed to a stop at a modern, narrow house that looked a little more like a high end apartment.  

Mei took off her helmet and adjusted her glasses, “So, this is the place.  I didn’t want to watch any more damn kids today but it seems like a matter of life and death-err, Life and Death...whatever.  Until I get more details about the ‘shadows’ Death gave a brief description of, I’m keeping an eye on you guys.”

Lucy’s knees wobbled as she climbed off the bike.  “What do you mean ‘any more kids’, and what am I gonna do about my Dad? What will I do, text him that I’m hanging out with some strangers on the other side of the world?”

Mei grinned as she fumbled with a keychain.  “You’re a curious little Girl Scout aren’t you? Heh, at least you’re asking the right questions...there’s this other girl, around your age.  Whatever shadows Death’s talking about, she’s been connected to them too, I’ve been running around with this kid all day, I know reapers aren’t supposed to get too involved with mortal business but I knew there was something more than that.”

“I thought you were the one mocking Death for recruiting me.”

“For your information, I’m not recruiting Akiro, I just want to keep the kid safe.  And as for your dad, just tell him you’re sleeping over at a friend’s house, or that you’ve been kidnapped, whatever you kids do these days.”

“Yeah, yeah, sleepover or something, he’ll think I’m just in a weird teen rebellious phase and stay out of it…anyway tell me more about this Akiro kid you’ve been babysitting,” she said while walking into Mei’s house. The interior was as modern as the outside, but with a few traditional twists such as the shoji panels and paper lanterns that hung over the living room that gave the room a warmer feel.  

“Shoes off.” Mei demanded, stepping out of her sneakers in the entryway of the house.  Lucy nodded and slid off her own boots, dusting off the little pink bows on the ankles as she did so.  

The space was chillingly silent, and it was only broken with Mei’s sigh as she slumped into a nearby chair.  “C’mon sit down, I’ll make some tea or open up some snacks in a sec.  As for Akiro, I think her father has something to do with these shadowy beings, apparently she was staying at his house the other day when the shadows started surrounding her and her sister.  I was reaping that group of guys who shot each other all at once when I saw them running down the street.  I asked them what was wrong, I wouldn’t have believed them if I didn’t see the fear in their eyes.  The younger one couldn’t have been much older than five, no five year old should look that afraid.  So I told them to stay put while I investigated, their dad was lying on the floor, cut and bruised.  Apparently he’s in some sort of coma now.  I called 911 and took them to their mother’s house.  But both of them kept ranting about these ‘tall shadows’ trying to grab them, especially the little girl, Natsumi. I tried to calm them down but Akiro was persistent and determined to find answers.  She’s clever, that one.  Later in the day she went back to her dad’s place to pick up a few of her and her sisters’ things, the shadows appeared again.  I was watching this time, I wanted to keep an eye on the kid, but when those things reached out for her...something happened, they recoiled back from her, and by the time I was ready to fight they just faded away.  I mean Akiro is almost as creepy as you but not enough to prevent an attack like that.  So, I’ll keep an eye on her for the next few days while she stays with her mother...you could see why I didn’t want to tell Death or Life about this,” she explained.  Lucy nodded,but at the mention of their names her thoughts immediately strayed back to whatever Life and Death were doing at the Notre Dame.  

Are they helping Mom? Is Mom hurt? Are they hurt? Wait- can Death die? Can Life die? Is everyone dead? Wait nononononono...Shut up conscience, SHUT UP.

She shuddered and tried to focus back onto the information she had just processed from Mei, wondering what the beings wanted from Akiro and how she was able to prevent them, unlike Lucy had in her nightmare.  

“Well, anyway, that’s what I was did today and I think that’s enough disturbing topics for today, I’ll get some food made, I guess I’m making two servings now...I have some mangas in the shelf over there, a few of them are in english so knock yourself out”.

Lucy pulled out her phone, the timezones had changed on the clock and it was now 4:31 am, Japan time, Lucy was too lazy to calculate whatever that was back in America, but she wasn’t that tired, so she figured it was in the afternoon.  Considering what Mei said about her manga, she walked towards the bookcase by the t.v.

“Sweet mother of manga…” she murmured, the shelves were almost entirely full of various mangas.

“Don’t judge me, Girlscout, mangas are actually common reading material her in Japan,” Mei called over from her kitchen.

“I’m not judging I’m admiring, and no one gives you weird looks or asks why you’re reading comic books here either?” “Pretty much,” she answered, followed by a series of clanging pots and pans.

Lucy let herself smile as she found one written in english and engrossed herself in it until Mei had prepared lunch, or dinner, whatever it was.  For a brief while, Lucy wasn’t worried over her family or immortal friends or long shadowy beings coming to strangle her, just whether the demon hybrid princess was going to go on the quest the prophecy foretold.

“Food’s ready,” Mei announced. Lucy’s stomach growled in an oddly lod manner as Lucy put down the manga and skipped over to the low, wooden table Mei was waiting at.  Lucy didn’t quite recognize some of the foods, but she could see that the meal included fish and rice.  Lucy sat down on one of the low chairs across from Mei and sat there in silence.

“Ugh you’re the ideal awkward houseguest. Go ahead and start eating I didn’t make this food for nothing,” Mei said with a smile.  Lucy dug into her food with her chopsticks, and although Lucy knew how to use them, bits of rice fell back on her ate as she attempted to eat them and it took Lucy longer than she would have liked to figure out must how to grab certain things with them.  She assumed it looked pretty pathetic judging by how Mei was barely hiding a Life-like smirk.  

“This is really good, I honestly don’t know half of what I’m eating right now but it’s still great.”

Mei looked down at her food proudly, “You should try Death’s cooking, I’m telling you Death’s like a freaking master chef, they’ve had like centuries of practice but there’s still some serious talent there.”

Lucy raised an eyebrow, “Death can cook?”

“Oh yeah, it’s one of the things that Death rubs in Life’s face all the time considering that Life may or may not have started the Great Fire of London over some burnt scones, it’s never really been proven but I’ve heard that it’s a possibility.  People have like, cried after eating Life and Death’s cookies, for two very different reasons and two very different cookies.”

“Huh,” Lucy said as she took a bite of fish.  

[crossfitnoboundaries]

Old New Beginner

This last week I decided it was time to pick up my old guitar that sat on display, gathering dust, and learn to play again. Notice that I said learn to play again. I had no expectation that I’d be able to pick up where I left off (and I was right), and I went into things with the intention of approaching guitar playing as a beginner. I searched YouTube for “beginner guitar lessons” and started at lesson one.

For some background, I spent the better part of my teenage years playing guitar quite a bit -- I took some lessons, practiced and fiddled around in my free time, and spent a few years pretending to be a rock talent in a garage band with friends during high school. I was never great, but I could demonstrate some level of competence on the guitar. This put me perhaps in the intermediate category.

But now, more than a decade later, the way I see it, I have no reason to consider myself anything more than a beginner; and so I took on the intentional practice of learning as a beginner. Not only am I desperately in need of the opportunity to redevelop techniques and recall chords and scales, I am eager for the opportunity to take on the role of beginner and fill in gaps that may have been missing before. And to assume that I should be able to jump back in to this practice as anything more than a beginner would be an error that could only result in frustration and sub-par results.

I see this same scenario play out frequently in the fitness arena. Individuals come into a new practice resting on the laurels of a long history of athleticism and training. Only, that history’s been sitting idle for 5 or 10 or 30 years. While this past experience is certainly significant, the unspoken assumption -- and the thing that gets folks in trouble -- is that this long-aged experience somehow earns them a free-pass to skip right over being a beginner. I’ll just spoil the mystery now: this never actually pans out.

Let’s get two things straight.

First, we believe in giving everyone the opportunity to be a beginner, whether they’ve never trained a day in their life or they were a highly-trained stud athlete back in their day. We’ve found this to yield the greatest results, and, unsurprisingly, we find that assuming everyone is a beginner tends to be a pretty accurate assumption 99 times out of 100.

Second, we all ought to put on the beginner’s hat on the regular and engage with learning without putting up the barriers of assumed expertise and superiority. Day one or day three thousand and one, there’s something you could still take from adopting a beginner’s mindset.

Maybe you still see yourself as a total beginner, maybe you find the word “beginner” offends you (it shouldn’t), or maybe you see yourself as an old new beginner or a new old beginner; regardless, we think you should give it a try. It’s a productive place to be.

- PS

4/9/18

Crossfit Total

1rm squat

1rm strict press

1rm deadlift

[lysitheaioandeuropa]

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? “where are we going for breakfast?”

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care? not at all tbh

4. Is your last name longer than six letters? mhmmm

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? sober

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? i think thats part of learning life lessons and shit

7. What does your last received text say? “we like trying fancy waters”

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? countless

10. When is the last time you saw your sister? pheeewwww lmfao like over a year ago.

11. What do you drink in the morning? water, iced tea, and coffee, all in that order

12. Where did you sleep last night? my comfortable ass bed

13. Do you think relationships are hard? yes man. even more so with BPD bc that “you go through 8 breakups a day and the other person doesn’t even know” post is dumb accurate. sometimes i’m level-headed and I trust my feelings and want to act on them, other times I don’t know if trusting them is wise, but I still FEEL things that i’m not sure what to do about.

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? HMMM YES YES YES. WOW. YES. I DON’T THINK I HAVE EVER YES’D SO HARD AT SOMETHING.

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems? not at all.

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? rainy. I’m a hombody anyway, at least rainy I can enjoy it

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? who doesn’t? 

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? Black jeans

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? I would like to hope so

20. Does anyone like you? mhm, little more than that

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? Idk, probably have

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand? A few people from work come to mind lol

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? I have three

25. In the past week have you cried? better question is in the past week have i NOT cried? 

26. What breed was the last dog you saw? red nose pitbull mix

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? out of the shower. half and half kinda

28. Have you ever kissed a football player? no

29. Do you think you’re old? existential crisis over my age on a daily basis

30. Do you like text messaging? yeah, its not as “personal,” but i like having the time to think about what i want to say. I am a better writer than i am an eloquent speaker

31. What type of day are you having? I’m not sure. I think I’m having a good one for now. 

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? I have pierced it, multiple times. have a ring in it now

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? 60 degrees and sunny and cloudless is THE perfect weather.

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? mhm

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? bruh I can’t properly answer this i do not fucking know. I hate flings but relationships are energy i do not have bc hardly have any for myself 

36. Are you a simple or complicated person? simple in some regards, complicated in others. more simple though, definitely. the complicated comes from being “picky,” or just aka, knowing exactly what i want and what i will or won’t put up with and so on and so forth.

37. What song are you listening to? settle down (young ruffian remix). I have been listening to the 1975, getting in my feels and shit.

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? 98% of the time i genuinely really really do. I never intentionally hurt people. But I’ve also previously owned up to the fact that i know i am super selfish and lack the proper empathy to deal w certain situations and thats where that other 2% goes to. 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? yes 41. When did you last receive a text message? right now (7:33PM) 42. What is wrong with you right now? What isn’t wrong w me omg lmao. I’m having trouble answering these as candidly as I used to 43. How well do you know the last female you texted? girl*, woman*, lady*, anything other than female jfc. and probably the girl i know the best atm 44. Does anyone disgust you? honestly, i’d probably get chewed out for this but most men. not on some “all men suck” bullshit, but more so “still dealing w some trauma and don’t know where i stand rn”  45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? no?  46. Are you in a good mood right now? haven’t decided, but I am pretty nonchalant atm which is better than crying in despair every five seconds 47. Who was the last person you talked to in person? Michelle + co.  48. What color shirt are you wearing? my black work polo

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? hmm.. yes  50. Anyone you’re giving up on? considering giving up on a few people lol 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? not at all

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? mhm, goes back to that life lessons thing 53. Do you like rain? love that shit 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? not really 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? mhm 56. Do you like to cuddle? mhm! 57. Are you shy? it doesn’t seem like it bc i have learned how to fake being a people person, but i rly am 58. Do you get along with girls? no, not usually 59. Have you dated the person you texted last? mhm 60. What do you carry with you at all times? my phone, and even then i dont always have it 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? hell yeah i would 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? mhm 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? mhm 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? of course 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? hmm.. i’m sure something has. Michelle brought me butterfingers to work, and i brought her m&ms. my friend brought me tacos for lunch at work today.

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?     i’ll pay for my toes but do my hands myself 68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?     neither 69. Do you have any stickers on your car?     nah 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?     nah canceled at boff lmao 71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?     iPhone 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?     i don’t recall really  73. Do you like diet soda? i don’t like any soda at all 74. What color are the walls in your room?   off-white and dust rose   75. Are you 16 or older?     yes 76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?     only to season 4 77. Do you have a job?     i have two   78. What are your initials?     CMG 79. Did you ever have braces?     nah, i didn’t even go to the dentist for the first time until i was 20yo 80. Are you from the south?     mhm technically, FL

81. What does your last status on facebook say?     I haven’t made one 82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?     no i don’t unfortunately 83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?     mom, but bc she’s forced our relationship on me 84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?     cheerleading but i wish i had done gymnastics 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?     fantastic beasts and where to find them i believe 86. Do you smoke?     mhm 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?   like to go out? heels  88. Is your phone touch screen?     mhm 89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?     curly 90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?     mhm lmao 91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?     springs 92. Have you ever made out in a car?     i have 93. …Had sex in a car?     i also have 94. Are you single or in a relationship?     relationship 95. What were you doing last night at midnight?     hanging out at home 96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?     new years eve 97. Do you like the camera on your phone?     fuckkkk yeah that 7+ 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?     yeah that didnt work, not my thing 99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?     lmfao oh man yes ): 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?   no  101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?     once  102. Name your favorite Kesha song:     we r who we r and die young i think. cannibal and blow are really good too.  103. Do you have any tan lines right now?     yes, not cute but i also just bought a new bathing suit that i hope i will tan better in  104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?   nahhh

[beauisattractive2727]

(Excerpt below, in italics, is from the sixth installment of the Harry Potter Series, “The Half Blood Prince.” I say “excerpt,” unofficially, because I wrote it from memory. I’m like 99 percent sure it’s accurate…)

…

The rain came, heavy, smashing into the stone turrets and dancing upon the highest towers of Hogwarts Castle. Wind followed, too, swirling and hammering in a display of might and fury. It was morning, although there would be no sight of the sun today, or it’s warmth, when the students crammed into the Great Hall.

They ate breakfast in haste, chilled from the cold while also readying themselves for the match to decide the house cup—Gryffindor vs Slytherin. This was the big one; the match to decide it all; a match to cement a legacy, to triumph or fail. For a moment, albeit the briefest of respites, Lord Voldemort was held at bay. Students could be students and nothing else mattered, nothing other than this match. Ron, the Hogwarts goal-keeper and least experienced player, was about to shit his pants.

“Ronald.”

“Ronald!” Hermione pestered a second time, this time grabbing his arm and breaking his stupor. “Ronald you need to eat something. You must eat before the match!”

Ron stared at his plate, face white—super Ed-Sheeran-ish—and could not move. Nerves, it seemed, had him. Had him by the bludgers.

A small crowd of students walked by, bumping Ron and pointing in his direction. “Ahh, poor Weasley, looks like he needs his mummy!”

Laughter.

The Slytherin students high-fived, and walked away, because J.K. never really got aggressive enough with these inter-house raggings and missed opportunities like these for Draco and gang to make comments about Harry getting in there with Ron’s sister, the stuff that definitely would/should have been said. But Ron was still flummoxed.

Harry saw this.

He had to act.

“F*ck it! I’m putting the felix felicis in your tea, Ron.”

Hermione’s eyes burst open, bright and condemning, like two full moons. She was about to speak, assuredly in protest, when Harry furtively commanded again.  

“Hand that chalice over,” forcing in a whisper, “quick, bro, before anyone sees!”

Ron did. He was victim to order. The pit in his stomach, brooding and heavy, had ascended to his head, most aptly described as evolutionary response routed by an imbalance of neurotransmitters in the basal ganglia, hippocampus, and cerebellum.

Quickly, dexterously, Harry hovered his hand over the drink, flashing the small vial of Felix Felicis (highly potent potion ensuring good luck and guaranteed success; banned substance amongst House Cup Quidditch competition and all international play). When he saw Ron take note of the vial, he rescinded his arm in blur-like form, both quick and calculated. Harry was the sac. He got things done. And Cho Chang.

And the rest, as they say and as you know, is history: Ron quickly downs his tea, assuming the performance enhancing potion inter-mixed, rushes to the pitch before Hermione can protest, filled with confidence, and plays the game of his life. Gryffindor wins and Harry reveals—post-match—he never put the potion in Ron’s beverage… Ron only thought he did.

Mind body connection, even amongst wizards.

…

That, when I first read it, was my introduction to the mind body connection. Until recently, I hadn’t come across anything better.

Then, in both book and article, Harvard psychologist Dr. Ellen Langer came into the fold. I’m pumped she did.

…

In 1981, Professor Langer took two groups of elderly men—in their seventies—and bussed them for retreat at a monastery in the New Hampshire countryside. Baseline tests of cognition, flexibility, memory, and several other forms of functionality were recorded before the two groups departed. Once there, at the monastery, the groups split.

In one setting, the group of men was told to reminisce about their lives twenty years prior. She wanted them to discuss and recall events of those times, what they were doing, and anything impactful or important to them and their families of that time.

The other group, in one of the coolest dang—in form with the study, I’m assuming “dang” was as aggressive as it got with expletives—controlled environments I’ve ever read about, actually acted as if they were living back in 1959. Like, the actual year, 1959. The monastery was set in both function and aesthetic exactly as it would have been 22 years prior. More than reminisce, these men were told to do and think just in the manner they would have, had they been here 22 years prior, circa 1959.

And they did.

They watched films from that year, listened to radio broadcast from that year, moved and cooked and debated as they would have in that year, and, regarded their health as they did in that year.

At the end of the week, both groups performed those same baseline tests they had taken just seven days earlier. Both groups exhibited immense improvement; quantitatively, with respect to the tests they took, and qualitative, as feelings of strength and vitality were reported as significantly elevated from all participants.

But, and I’m assuming you able to follow context clues, one groups scores were significantly higher than the other: chemical and physical measurements of body and mind actually measured as “younger” men.

Can you guess which group?

I’ll wait.

Yes! Nice job! The second group, where the elderly men actually embodied and thought as younger men, made actual changes to their chemistry. Gene alteration occurred—on a pretty significant scale given the time of the study—and ailments dissipated. Flexibility, strength, reasoning, and deduction all improved. I’m not sure how progressive this study was, but if any broads were around, I’d assume 1959 desecrated that monastery.

Again, until I came across this study, and the work done by Professor Langer—a straight up cougar, if she ever sees this—I hadn’t really ever seen measurable proof of mindbody cohesion. I’ve felt it, sure, and always believed in the power of thought as well as the influence of movement on the mind, but I had never seen tangible measure. Obviously Ron played an amazing match, and his confidence carried over into a risqué romance with Lavender Brown, but official score-keeping from that aforementioned House Cup Final was never revealed; “concrete” proof isn’t there, unless you count the look on Draco Malfoy’s smug face.

Which I do.

Saying all that, though, and drawing comparison and significance from the two examples—Felix Felicis and a Harvard Study—I feel like I should conclude with a palatable takeaway. A few significant, applicable bullets grounded in mindbody application to your/my health and fitness:

Be mindful of both thought and body language: Your subconscious mind and nervous system is the most intricate, intelligent system around. It is always learning. Learning from you, in your active thinking and doing. If you stand like a turd, with shoulders slumped, or your face looks like you just smelt a turd, your body remembers. Those same healing progressions the mindbody made for those old men who acted/thought in vigor and vitality can become regressions just as quickly.

Note your language: Language is just verbal thought. And as we know—we know, shut up—that thought is registered in chemical form in your body and genes, so too is language. So, if you’re the pick-up basketball player who lets everyone know he is wrapping his ankles, even though we never ask—“bad ankles in high school”—your ish ain’t ever going to get better or stronger. If you talk about always getting sick on planes or at certain times of the year, aside from knowing people don’t like you, stop saying that. Invoke the positive response. Talk about growth, and improvement, and healing. Your Patronus is only as strong as your mind.

Embrace the potentiality: There is now too much science and evidence documenting the natural healing properties of the mindbody to discredit it. So use it. Embrace it. Study it. Do all that, and then, live in the present as if your future is already your own.

Uncle Vernon does not believe in the mind body connection

***Quick end-note: this is not delusional positive psychology/physiology in place of medicine. Doctors are the absolute best people on the planet and should be considered so. But your greatest resource in terms of preventive medicine, and healing, is you. It is the symbiosis of mind and body. Try not to forget that. You’re a wizard, Harry!

Harry Potter, a Harvard Study, and the Mind Body Connection (Excerpt below, in italics, is from the sixth installment of the Harry Potter Series, “The Half Blood Prince.” I say “excerpt,” unofficially, because I wrote it from memory.

[readersforum]

Everything I’ve Learned About Podcasting as HubSpot’s Podcast Marketer

New Post has been published on http://www.readersforum.tk/everything-ive-learned-about-podcasting-as-hubspots-podcast-marketer/

Everything I’ve Learned About Podcasting as HubSpot’s Podcast Marketer

Have you ever noticed how quickly things can change? A new product or service revolutionizes an industry overnight, and it becomes hard to imagine life before it. Who remembers T9 now that talk-to-text is so mainstream? Is anyone still holding onto the number for a reliable taxi service? Or, do we rely on our Uber and Lyft apps instead?

In the world of audio, there’s been a massive (albeit slower shift) in the way people consume this content. The catalyst? A rise in podcast content paired with advancements in technology.

Here at HubSpot, we’ve been watching the world of podcasting grow and change. We’ve even been testing the proverbial podcast waters ourselves. If you’re considering creating your own podcast or advertising through one, this post is for you.

But before we get into the nitty-gritty of podcasting, let’s take a brief history lesson.

A Brief History of Podcasts

The word “podcast” is a combination of “iPod” and “Broadcast.” Adam Curry and Dave Winer coined the term when they created a program called iPodder in 2004. iPodder automatically downloaded internet radio broadcasts and uploaded them to an iPod — thus creating the first ever podcast.

Apple picked up on this trend in 2005 by adding “Podcast Support” to iTunes. They solidified podcasting as a core part of their service by creating the early Top 100 charts, and, in 2012, releasing a dedicated podcast app.

By pre-installing dedicated podcast apps on all phones and showcasing podcast content on iTunes, Apple successfully secured its position as the biggest podcast marketplace.

Even today, we see how Apple’s early investment in the podcasting space has given the company a de facto top spot in the market. Apple makes up two-thirds of podcast listeners while iPhones only make up about 12% of all smartphones. (For reference, Spotify has the second-largest listenership — and they make up 7% of listeners.)

From Broadcast to Podcast: Podcast vs. Radio

From our POV here at HubSpot, it’s clear we’re slowly moving away from audio you tune into and towards on-demand audio.

This shift from broadcast to podcast is driven by two primary factors: content and technology.

There are currently over 660,000 active podcasts. From popular news shows and chat shows to fictional storytelling and true crime, almost everything is a podcast. Additionally, there’s plenty of successful podcast content that would never work for broadcast radio, such as the free-wheeling, interview-based news show Pod Save America — which is consistently over an hour.

In terms of technology, smartphones have given everyone on-demand access to podcast content, newer, cheaper headphones are everywhere, and smart speakers are making their way into homes across the world.

The way we listen has fundamentally changed to an always-on, on-demand streaming experience. People are moving to podcasts in the same way we‘re moving towards on-demand services like Netflix, Hulu, and HBO.

This massive shift in consumer behavior is driving a lot more listeners to podcasts, and with more listeners comes more marketing and more advertisers.

It’s never been easier to start a business, but it’s never been harder to succeed. Download new episodes of the Growth Show and learn something new today: https://www.playpodca.st/growthshow/

Trouble in Podcast-Land

Podcasting today is facing a dilemma that mirrors the US economy: there’s a widening gap between the top 1% of podcasts and the other 99%. This divide is exacerbated by a central issue with podcast content — discoverability.

Despite its mass growth, podcasts are mainly discovered in two ways: word-of-mouth and iTunes charts. Moreover, podcasts at the top of the charts tend to get recommended more often, further solidifying their leading position. The only way to break through is to have an incredibly innovative show or a massive marketing budget — and most successful shows have both.

In response, both independent and funded podcast networks like Radiotopia, Gimlet, and Wondery have formed. Those that are funded by venture capitalist money, though, are able to simultaneously launch multiple high-production shows and promote their shows with huge marketing budgets.

This shift became crystal clear through my experience with HubSpot’s own flagship podcast, The Growth Show. When the show launched in 2016, it got a few thousand downloads and ranked in the top 25 business podcasts. Three years later, we’re getting more downloads per episode (almost half from our back catalog — episodes that are 60+ days old). Yet, we’re still struggling to break into the top 200 business podcasts.

Big platforms are investing more in podcast content, and VCs are throwing cash at podcast networks … this behavior begs the question, “Why?” I think, instead, we should be asking, “Who?”

Everything You Need to Know About the Podcast Listener

According to Edison Research, the average podcast listener is a well-educated, high-earning millennial. Podcasting is also one of the few channels with a listenership that accurately reflects the general population. The number of men and women who listen to podcasts is nearly equal, and, in terms of ethnicity, the makeup of podcast listeners roughly mirrors the actual demographics of the United States.

Overall, it’s easiest to say that everyone listens to podcasts.

Habits of the Podcast Listener

Most research on podcast listenership divides listeners into a few categories: 1) listeners who’ve heard of podcasting, 2) listeners who listen monthly, and 3) listeners who listen weekly.

At the most frequent, weekly podcast listeners consume 5+ hours of content across about seven shows. Anecdotally, that typically breaks down into two dedicated shows, two occasional shows, and two brief shows.

Whether it be over-sharers on Instagram or keyboard cowboys on Facebook, every medium has a group of obsessed folks who want to consume everything. In podcasting, these people are called speed listeners. They represent a small segment that’s set on consuming as much audio content as possible. To do this, they adjust the podcast playback speed to 1.5x, 2x, or even 3x.

This consistent, loyal group of intensive podcast users is a good indicator that the medium has built up a devoted following — and isn’t going away anytime soon.

Download our free e-book on how to start a podcast, written by the former producer of HubSpot’s The Growth Show himself: https://offers.hubspot.com/how-to-start-a-podcast

Podcast Engagement is Off the Charts

Whether you’re a monthly listener or daily speed listener, one thing is clear: audio content is engaging. When comparing podcast content to other channels like blogs, social media, and video, we see some distinct differences.

1. Podcasts are long form.

The best podcasts are at least 30 minutes long. Take a look at the top shows, and you’ll find their average episode length is over 45 minutes long. Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History is consistently a Top 100 podcast, and his episodes are often over four hours long. Joe Rogan’s Joe Rogan Experience podcast is released weekly and most episodes average two to three hours. Although there are some benefits to a short podcast, the majority of podcast listeners enjoy their long-form content.

2. Consumption is almost 100%.

As a long-time marketer who’s created videos, hosted webinars, and run workshops, I’ve found that audience content consumption is rarely over 80%. A recent report by Sumo found that the average blog visitor only about a quarter of an article and only 20% of readers finish the articles at all. On the other hand, webinars attendees often arrive late, exit early, and sometimes leave in the middle.

Furthermore, according to research by Wistia on optimal video length, videos that exceed two minutes experience a clear drop-off in consumption traffic. Wistia also found that videos under two minutes have a 70% engagement rate; at six minutes, engagement drops to 50%, and at 12 minutes, engagement falls to below half.

Podcasts are different. To compare: On our own HubSpot shows, most people are listening to over 85% of the show.

3. Podcast advertisements are memorable.

Let’s face it — most advertisements are hardly noticeable. We walk by or fast-forward without a second glance. On the other hand, podcasts generally rely on host-read ads. These ads are novel, authentic, and interesting. According to a report comparing podcast ads to digital ads by Nielsen, podcast ads generate 4.4x better brand recall than display ads. That includes scroll static and pop-up ads on other digital media platforms. The study also found that 61% of consumers who heard the podcast ads were likely to purchase the featured product.

With such high engagement, podcasts have become a surprisingly effective ad channel. Now, here’s what we’ve learned about advertising.

Everything We’ve Learned About Podcast Advertising

We’ve tested advertising for HubSpot Academy on our three podcasts and have sponsored a few podcasts in the past — and we’ve learned a lot.

Traditionally, podcasts have three places for ads: Pre-roll (before the show starts), mid-roll (in the middle of the show), and post-roll (at the end of the show).

Pre- and post-roll ad spots are generally cheaper than mid-roll and tend to take less time. Most ads have some sort of call-to-action that prompts listeners to go to a specific URL or use a specific discount code in order to get a discount.

One of the most frustrating aspects of podcast advertising is how difficult it is to track. As a digital marketer, you can see how many people download or listen to your show and how many people follow the URL or enter the discount code … and that’s it.

Good news: The cost per impression (CPM) for podcast ads is still relatively cheap. If you are considering sponsoring a podcast, here’s the standard formula.

Podcast Sponsorship = (# of Downloads Per Episode / 1000) x CPM

Note: The CPM (Cost per Thousand) generally ranges from $20-$50.

So far, we’re confident that podcast ads are effective and that the CPM is affordable. So, potential podcast advertisers should keep a few things in mind:

Audience Analysis: What type of listener does the show attract and are they a good fit for your product?

Sponsorship Schedules: What’s your timeline? Most major podcasts with sizable download numbers are booked months in advance.

Frequency > Reach: From our own experiments with promoting our podcast on other podcasts, we found that we got a larger lift in total download numbers when we had ads appearing more frequently in on a single podcast versus a single ad on larger podcasts.

It’s never been easier to start a business, but it’s never been harder to succeed. Download new episodes of the Growth Show and learn something new today: https://www.playpodca.st/growthshow/

Is getting in front of podcast listeners your goal? If your answer is a resounding “Yes!”, here’s your next question: Do you want to rent or own this audience?

To put it into podcasting terms: Do you sponsor a podcast, or do you create your own?

Rent Your Audience or Make Your Own Podcast

Despite what you may have heard, podcasting is not easy. Simply tossing a live mic between two people chatting rarely makes for a good show. As more and more podcasts are created, quality (and the demand for quality) has skyrocketed.

If you’re dreaming of being the next How I Built This, you need to be prepared to put some serious time and effort behind your production.

That being said, there are some distinct advantages to owning a smaller, devoted audience than renting ad space on a much larger podcast. Here are the advantages when you create a podcast:

You get control of the ad space. You can promote your company and products or services during the ad space. Better yet, you can make an extra buck promoting someone else’s.

You gain additional impressions. Not only is your audience engaging with your content and potentially hearing ads for your business, but every time they see the podcast creator, it’s also an additional impression.

You can create a network. If you’re large enough and have the resources to create multiple podcasts, the promotion of one show can drive listeners to another show by the same producer by saying there are “more by this provider.”

Final Thoughts

Sponsoring or starting a podcast is something every brand should consider. Podcast popularity and listenership will only continue to rise and, with it, the opportunity to connect with people in a new and novel way.

Audio content is one of the best opportunities out there for brands. My best advice? Don’t let this one pass you by.

[kennethherrerablog]

This Woman Was Always the Bridesmaid, So She Decided to Start a Business

“This one’s Michigan, this one’s California, this one’s Florida, this one’s also Florida, this one’s New Jersey, this one’s New York, this one was Florida, and this one was in Long Island…”

Jen Glantz is rattling off states with perfect recall as she thumbs through a closet full of satin, charmeuse and chiffon — most in various shades of pastel. Each bridesmaid dress is well worn, from deodorant stains to tattered hems. Each carries a story.

Sure, plenty of us have at least one or two bridesmaid dresses shoved in the back of the closet, never to be worn again. Glantz has enough to rival a bridal boutique.

And no, it’s not just because she has a lot of recently wed friends — although that is a factor in her story. Glantz is up to her ears in dresses because she makes a living as a professional bridesmaid.

From Bridesmaid to Bridesmaid for Hire

How does one find herself in the business of being a professional bridesmaid? Let’s back up to 2014, when Glantz was 26 years old — or as I like to affectionately call it, “Fridge is Covered in Save the Dates” years old.

One day towards the end of June, Glantz received not one but two phone calls with hopeful brides-to-be on the other end, bearing the same question: “Will you be my bridesmaid?”

In that year alone, Glantz found herself taking on the mantle of bridesmaid four times.

She was so well versed in the art of bachelorette parties, rounding up unruly bridesmaids and holding up poofy wedding dresses that she was practically a professional. And throughout it all, she noticed a common trend in the wedding industry.

“There was nobody there whose job it was to help the bride,” says Glantz. “If the bride had a wedding planner, she was so busy setting up the wedding. If she had bridesmaids like myself, we were very distracted, and we didn’t know how to help her.”

Glantz decided to capitalize on this gap in the industry and put her finely honed bridesmaid skills to work. She posted a Craigslist ad: Professional Bridesmaid – wfw – 26 (NYC).

Let me be there for you, she implores future brides with not-so-great options in the bridal party department. Let her “make sure bridesmaid #4 buys her dress on time and doesn’t show up three hours late.” Let her fill a spot if “you don’t have any other girlfriends except your third cousin, twice removed.”

Within two days, Glantz had received over 250 responses.

Clearly, there was a demand for a service that offers the chance of a stress-free wedding. So Glantz decided to start her own business, Bridesmaid for Hire.

Living In a Perpetual Wedding Season

In the four years since that fateful Craigslist ad, Glantz has worked with more than100 clients all over the country.

She has expanded her services and become the ultimate bridesmaid boss, offering various levels of bridal-related help and working with five to 15 clients a month.

For the bride-to-be who just needs a bit of a nudge in the right direction, she offers one-on-one coaching for $179. Someone thinking of hiring a wedding planner can turn to Glantz instead for day-of coordinating services, which range from $850 to $1,350.

Then there’s the ultimate package: A full-fledged bridesmaid for hire, which can cost upwards of $4,000.

But this package doesn’t mean Glantz will simply show up on the day of the wedding, ready to walk down the aisle. She works with brides for anywhere from three months to a full year before the wedding date, helping all along the way.

“During that time, we get to know each other… I’m there for all of the big milestones,” says Glantz. “One thing I’m super proud of is that I help people save money, so I’ll look at vendor contracts and say, ‘They’re ripping you off, you can save money here.’”

And it’s not just the brides that Glantz offers her expertise to. Maids of Honor who are a bit unsure how to move forward can get a crash-course coaching session for $99. Or maybe the MOH just doesn’t have a way with words. Lucky for her, Glantz offers speech-writing packages ranging from $200 to $375.

That way, the MOH can avoid the dreaded awkward silence after an inappropriate inside joke falls flat. #blessed

It’s Not All Wedding Cake and Bouquet Tosses

You might be thinking something along the lines of “I could totally do this job,” but keep in mind just how many services Glantz offers.

In reality, this gig is nothing that like that movie “The Wedding Ringer.” Glantz isn’t just attending party after party, dancing the night away and munching on wedding cake — although we can all agree that wedding cake is definitely a perk.

Glantz is a personal assistant, planner, coordinator, coach, shoulder to lean on, speech-giver, peacekeeper and situation-diffuser all wrapped up in one — usually in some version of chiffon.

One wedding, she might be “Jen Smith” and makes sure that a bachelorette party actually gets planned when the maid of honor drops the ball. At another, she’s known as “Jen Cohen” and saves the day with her emergency pack full of Band-Aids and stain-remover sticks.

Along with the pseudonym, she’ll have a different backstory explaining how she knows the bride, since most don’t particularly care to explain that they hired a bridesmaid. To some, the idea of assuming a new identity and attending a stranger’s wedding might sound strange, but Glantz insists that it all feels very natural and authentic to her.

“I’ve always thought to myself ‘This is what I’m meant to do,’ and I know that sounds crazy because who thinks they’re meant to be a professional bridesmaid?” says Glantz.

Recalling the first wedding she ever worked, she says she got off the plane in Minnesota and thought to herself “Jen, what are you doing?”

But everything went off without a hitch, and she finally felt like she was doing something she was meant for. Glantz says she’s always had the skills that make her so good at this, such as dealing with challenging or dramatic situations.

And everyone knows that weddings are rife with drama, right?

Always the Bridesmaid Entrepreneur

Glantz’s experiences as a professional bridesmaid and CEO have led to other opportunities. She freelance writes for major publications, speaks at conferences and has written two books, “When You Least Expect It” and “All My Friends are Engaged.”

Between Bridesmaid For Hire and her other endeavors, Glantz says she earns tens of thousands a year.

Always looking ahead, she’s expanding her services with Bridesmaid for Hire. She recently started offering packages for mothers-of-the-bride, who need their own type of support but often get forgotten.

She’s hired a few people along the way, including another professional bridesmaid, but has decided to offer another service to hopeful employees instead of hiring them.

“I always have people who want to work this job, so I started a franchising program where people can come learn exactly how this business works and then start this business for themselves wherever they live in the world,” she says.

For $249, you can learn the tricks of the trade, such as the ins and outs of the wedding industry, how to brand your business and how to secure clients.

One can hope that future bridesmaids-for-hire share Glantz’s sentimental feelings about the business.

“I feel very lucky with this job because I get to be present at one of the best and happiest moments of a person’s life,” she says. “It’s taught me a ton about love, it’s taught me a ton about weddings, and it’s really shaped how I feel about relationships.”

And if they’re anything like Glantz, maybe they’ll end up with a closet full of bridesmaid dresses of their own, unwilling to part with them and the memories they carry.

Kaitlyn Blount is a staff writer at The Penny Hoarder. She is currently planning her own wedding, a maid of honor in another… and a bridesmaid in another. Maybe she could use some of Glantz’s professional help.

This was originally published on The Penny Hoarder, which helps millions of readers worldwide earn and save money by sharing unique job opportunities, personal stories, freebies and more. The Inc. 5000 ranked The Penny Hoarder as the fastest-growing private media company in the U.S. in 2017.

The Penny Hoarder Promise: We provide accurate, reliable information. Here’s why you can trust us and how we make money.

This Woman Was Always the Bridesmaid, So She Decided to Start a Business published first on https://justinbetreviews.tumblr.com/

[colacoffee-blog1]

3/4

i realized that i didn’t post 3 after i went to bed and hoped that it would save on my computer...it did not, so here it is from what i recall.

started playing through quantum break, i love timey-wimey stuff and this has those aspects that makes me love it. but i dislike the violence in it/all of the shooting that needs to be done.

i read through a couple of articles one about the current state of economics and how that is bound to change in the future because economics does not accurately predict what is to happen. though other forms of economics are starting to, the specific article was about quantum economics...seems like an interesting field.

read through an a couple of articles about mindfulness and how it can be useful for some individuals although there has yet to be proper research done on the mindfulness/meditation that individuals would casually be able to do(think 5-15 minute sessions) instead of what they studied(several hour plus sessions). there might be something to it, although it could easily be that you thinking there is a cure by doing this creates the cure.

i might have read through a couple of life hacker things...or that might have been the day before...

i also looked some more into an educational charity and there didn’t seem to be that many educational charities out there, so i should narrow down what the charity would do(assuming it would be an educational charity) and how it would gather money and go from there right now. planning seems to be a much larger part then actually doing the documents, though once i start doing the documents i’m sure that will be a gigantic part of it as well.

4

school started...soooo woo?

i didn’t get much done honestly, played through a couple of holes on a game called golf story...i might be on the last match now, after several months of putting it off.

i started watching Brooklyn 99 at my friends shop. mostly because i don’t want to sign up for a hulu account. it used to be free to watch, but now i need an account just to watch. not something i want to do and that seems like a giant downside.

also saw a reddit thread about how steam is lacking on one aspect really, communication. as a result a lot of people don’t like how steam does that. it should be an easy enough thing to fix...but who knows. i thought of immediately why not try to get humble bundle to create there own platform that will link all of there games to it...it could work, they are already a seller of games and i think most people know them.

what else...i need to do most of my classwork for an easy computer class tomorrow, i should also pick up a check and maybe finish cleaning one of the areas left over. things to read, games to play, and ideas to make more of a reality.

[dawnajaynes32]

A Life in Relief

 A Life in Relief

By Tom Wachunas

   “…Disjointed scenes of a life lived in nighttime dreams. Memory holders of what? Wood, ink, paper – stuff of another age. Like me. Not perfect. Film noir. Cuz I never dreamed in Technicolor. Poetry, not prose. My biography.”  - from William Bogdan’s Artist Statement

   “Art teaches nothing except the significance of life.” – Henry Miller

   EXHIBIT: Xylographic – Biographic, woodcut prints by William Bogdan / THROUGH JULY 15, 2017, at The Little Art Gallery / located in the North Canton Public Library, 185 North Main Street, North Canton, Ohio / 330.499.7356 /  www.northcantonlibrary.org

   After only a few seconds and footsteps into The Little Art Gallery’s opening reception for William Bogdan’s solo exhibit, I was floored. I hadn’t greeted anyone yet, hadn’t even looked closely at a single piece. But I saw immediately something wholly fresh and arresting about the space.

    The walls are a spectacle of black and white starkness, at once startling and inviting. The sheer uniformity of Bogdan’s presentation – each piece matted in white and set in a simple, elegant black frame – is spot-on. And curator Elizabeth Blakemore has done a superlative job in sensitively spacing the works with a keen attention to not only their variable subject matter (including landscape, architectural, and figural content), but also in setting up a variety of visual rhythms that can keep your eye engaged and moving throughout the gallery. We would expect nothing less from a show that featured electrifying works with a strong color dynamic. But interestingly enough, while there is no such dynamic here to excite our senses, the room still pulses with a strong heartbeat.

            Could you describe your world without actual color? Could you envision a lifetime of experiences engraved into your memory as a panorama of only black lines and shapes, all intertwined against the white sky of existence? To put it another way, can you see your past simply as symbolic black marks on paper?  In his artist statement, Mr. Bogdan likens this collection of his woodcut prints, made over the last seven years, to “…photo snapshots kept in an album…keepsakes that preserve a moment in time, but with a story before and aft that is meaningful to me.” Bogdan’s personal story is the ‘Biographic’ (or more accurately, autobiographic) component of this exhibit. 

   So, “photo snapshots kept in an album”? While there’s a certain intimacy to the idea of flipping through a photo album to fondly remember the past, I think this exhibit is more akin to reading pages, indeed chapters from a book you can’t put down. A book of remembered people, places, and sensations, of moments poignant and mysterious, or painful or comforting or…  Books. Remember those? Organizations of white papers inscribed with marks made from ink. You’ll notice one of those here, “Bill’s Hill,” made in 2010, visible in one of the gallery’s glass showcases. 

     Then there’s Bogdan’s ‘Xylographic’ component. We don’t hear the word xylography too much these days in reference to the printmaking process of making woodcut images. It’s from the Greek ξύλο (xylo), for wood, and γραφή  (graphé), for writing. The English term arrived in 1816, translated from the French, recalling the Japanese and Chinese techniques (from the 8th and 9thcenturies) of carving text or patterns in relief on a wooden block, which were then inked for applying to paper. Wood-block printing as a fine art form emerged in Europe during the 14th century, and the process would ultimately inspire Gutenberg’s method of printing from movable type in 1439. Voila, books.

   I offer this nutshell history if only as a kind of lyrical appreciation of Bogdan’s methodology. Sourcing a technique originated in the very distant past – making a connection to time-honored art history - the act of carving away at a piece of wood (itself a holder of history) to make a picture can in many ways be seen as a poetic metaphor for cutting through the present to reveal, or uncover something of the past. To remember is to actively make the past present. Right now. At any point in time, what is our right -now if not an accumulation of assimilated back-whens?

   Look at the haunting way Bogdan takes us to a back-when in his piece called “4”, depicting the legendary New York Yankee, Lou Gehrig (who wore number 4), showing us his heartrending gratitude and mortality. In another back-when, “The Picture on the Gallery Wall,” a few folks appear oblivious to Bogdan’s art on the wall, as if imprisoned and isolated by their own passivity. And here we are in our right-now, looking at a picture of them not looking at a picture. Intriguing.

   Bogdan’s representational drawing (or should I say cutting?) style can vary from the relatively tight and crisp, to the loose and spontaneous, sometimes giving way to amorphous passages of generalized or abstract markings amid spatial ambiguities – a tentative yet fascinating conflation of the primitive and the refined. For example, the bright, crisp clarity of detail that we see in such pieces as “1604” has the marvelous effect of beckoning from a distance as you enter the gallery, calling you to perhaps to frolic with the children in the front yard of the house with the 1604 address. On the other hand, the skewed perspective and dramatic figure-ground contrasts in “Man, Bed, Cat” might make you wonder who is dreaming here – the sleeping man, the cat, or that ghostly figure off to the right side, floating in a white void?

   In the 20 works exhibited, there are only two occurrences of color. Miniscule as they are, they function as exclamatory punctuation marks within their respective narratives. In “Simon 23, 26” (a reference to the gospel of Luke, 23: 26, wherein Simon of Cyrene briefly carried the cross for Jesus), one of Simon’s fingertips is covered in blood. That splotch of red is echoed by a red fingerprint at the bottom of the image – a deeply loaded signature, to be sure. There’s a religiosity, too, about “The Orange Chair,” though I’m not convinced that the inclusion of the bright orange stickers – one a circle (eternal cycle of life?), the other a triangle (Holy Trinity?) – are successfully integrated with the intricate imagery. Like a storyboard for a time-lapse film, seven continuous panels comprise a sequential view of a house interior showing the woman who lived and died there, her favorite chair empty and dotted orange, and in the last panel, a young girl standing in a doorway, the orange triangle hovering above her.

   Despite my reservations about the indelicacy of its orange intrusions, the piece is nonetheless exemplary of Bogdan’s capacity for conveying an uncanny, fragile harmony between timidity and fearlessness. His visceral images feel searched out and sifted through,  often as if quickly excavated and recorded before they can fall back into the dusty piles of more peripheral memories. To varying degrees, each one suggests an illustrated transition from the scenic to the psychic, the physical to the spiritual. Bogdan’s Book. He draws like a writer.

   PHOTOS, from top: 4 /  The Picture on the Gallery Wall / 1604 / Simon 23,26 / Man, Bed, Cat / detail from The Orange Chair  / The doe lay dead in a field of asters

A Life in Relief syndicated post