#and it’s been rlly bad lately and I apologize for ranting lol

[reamed]

Rlly bad day today

[kfanopinions]

omg i just saw your review on baggy jeans and wanna say that i feel like the WHOL album feels very rushed, like it sounds like they got them all together last minute and told them “alright just record a song real quick” it’s so disappointing because this album was rlly not needed if they were gonna rush it like this (AND mahae deserved some rest so) the only song that genuinely made me think “what they put effort in this” was pado but the rest was pretty mid ☹️

sorry for this random rant i just wanted to share my thoughts hope you’re doing great!

hi there 🩵 i’m doing good hope you are too 🥰

oh no!!! i haven’t listened to the full album yet now i’m scared 😱 i just don’t know how to feel with this album. i’m happy the gangs back but it feels like even the neo’s weren’t too thrilled about this one. like are any of them REALLY promoting it that much?

i was just overall disappointed with baggy jeans. i thought when we heard we’d get the 7th sense group again we’d get something that was on par with that song but baggy jeans…nope the lyrics are bad. compare the 7th sense lyrics to baggy jeans and you’ll see the difference. though the actual music of the song is good and i’ll give them a small point for the repetitive baggy jeans part but it’s still bad lol

i know a lot of fans were like “it’s so neo!” but i’m still trying to figure out what they mean by it’s “neo.” if we’re talking about experimental i don’t think baggy jeans is experimental. it’s just lazy. i wanted to love it, i did but i feel like it’s going to be one of those songs i’ll listen to it but feel nothing for which sucks.

i also heard people say it’s a “campy” song but even then i’ve heard campy songs that have substance to them but this just falls so flat 🤷🏽‍♀️ to each their own i guess. but i’m not one of those fans who blindly loves everything cuz i love the group lol i call it like it is XP

i wonder if it’s just my music taste is evolving lately. i’ve been listening to ren, yungblud, and aurora a lot and their songs have more substance then most of nct’s music lately. still love nct and will always support them but yeah…not happy with baggy jeans and don’t get me started on golden age 🙄 someone on NCT twitter said they should have all gotten at least 11 seconds each but nope sm can’t even divide up the parts equally.

but i will say this chenle during the kangroo dance was just adorable! he looked like he was having fun and taeil looked miserable 😂😅 i would too if i had to do that dance. cutesy dancing isn’t for everyone haha

but pado i’m excited to fully listen too because of haechan’s fan cams. i’m not going to say how many times i’ve watched them but yeah… it’s A LOT 😅 (front view, side view, back view, ALL THE VIEWS 😍🥰😘)

but thanks for sharing your thoughts and please no apologizing at all 🫂🩵🩷 you as well as everyone else can feel free to share your opinions/rant anytime you want. okay?

[yappingmoxie]

I’ve noticed I’ve started apologizing a lot more again for silly things that don’t really need an apology in the first place and idk. Idk why that’s starting back up again bc I rlly thought I’d moved on from that. Like when I was 18 and had just moved in with my partner at the time bc of a lot of complicated things I remember I knocked over their red bull they’d JUST opened and I started crying and apologizing so much and it took them being like “hey wtf? it’s just a drink. not a big deal I’ll clean it up” for me to start realizing how fucked up I was lol. Like I already knew how I grew up wasn’t okay but like idk. I just kinda thought it was slightly more shitty than just shitty and it took me a while to call it abuse. Because even then I was still wanting to defend my mom about like. Everything really. Idk. I’ve been thinking about her a lot lately. And I miss her even tho she was absolutely awful to me lmao. But yeah. Idk. Maybe that has something to do with the whole over apologizing thing idk. The last time I saw her or even spoke to her was when we got in a fight because she was lying and saying when I “moved out” (she kicked me out) I took myself off her insurance when I literally would never do that lmao. Like I have a serious condition with my back that needs me to get MRIs every year to make sure I don’t literally become a quadriplegic lmfaooo. And she knew that but took me off her insurance anyways when I wouldn’t move back in with her to take care of her like she wanted. Like I would have never taken myself off her insurance knowing I couldn’t (and still can’t) afford my own. I haven’t had anyyy medical treatment for my back since before 2017 because of her. So idk why she lied about that other than because she knows it was a shitty thing to do to her daughter who has literally cleaned actual shit off of her multiple times because she was too high to walk to the bathroom herself lmfao. Idk. I could get into that a whole lot more and all the absolute batshit insane things I had to deal with growing up with her but idk if it’d be good or bad for me considering I feel myself backsliding in a lot of ways already. Like idk. I still have actual nightmares from when my sister moved out and she tried to kill herself in bed next to me lmfao. I know she said she “didn’t mean to” put a second morphine patch on but I quite literally found her suicide note when I couldn’t wake her up the next morning. Like I was literally laying right next her when she was crying and writing it all out (without ever mentioning me btw but I guess that’s just petty to bring up esp considering she threw it away when she left the hospital and swore she never wrote it lmfao. but I remember it so). She would have literally died if I’d listened to my cousins mom about how “she was fine just real tired” and didn’t call my grandma and then 911. I’d seen it before lmfao. In 6th grade. When I didn’t listen to my gut that something was wrong and her boyfriend died because of that. Like yeah he was a fucking asshole but still like. Idk 11/12 was hard to see my mom having to give him CPR when he was literally already turning colors. I remember mom making me check his breathing before we went to sleep and idk. That’s something that sticks with you so I knew everything wasn’t okay. I knew the difference between just being high off her ass and hard to wake up vs literally overdosing and unable to be conscious. Lmao idek how I got on this topic when I was just ranting about regressing before but whatever. Here I am lmao. I probably should actually talk about it more instead of whatever this was bc clearly it’s on my mind but I digress idk

[webslingingslasher]

I feel like crying right now 🫠. I had a rlly bad week and it involved me having a mental breakdown and having to pretend like I wasn't crying when my parents came in my room. Not trying to trauma dump but I was js stressed over school assignments bc I usually never have trouble doing it and my room was very dirty and I had laundry to do and I'm sick and my parents think somethings going on with me because I was late to school three days in a row??? My dad literally said "What's going on with you lately?" While he was dropping me off and I started tearing up so I js got out of the car before I started bawling. My very best friend is ignoring me for some reason??? It usually only lasts like a few hours but this has been going on since Thursday and we still have not said a word to each other.

We're a trio w another girl but the other girl (let's call her v) has other friends and her main friends were a year older but they graduated so now we're a trio. I kind of didn't like her bc I let her rant to me when we were becoming friends but then she got too used to it and I became her therapist which I would be fine with bc I love her but she would never listen to me when I was talking and then when asked she would js giggle and say it's bc of her 'adhd' but then she would say she didn't have adhd too?? Like girl make up ur mind. But then I wouldn't let myself be walked over so I confronted her and she said ok I'll try to be better. Lately she has gotten a lot better and she's becoming a very important person in my life but it's usually always been me and my bsf right? Sorry to go off topic I forget what I'm talking ab and I js keep talking 😭 but uhhh anyways I told v aby bsf ignoring me and she basically told me that I should ignore her back bc she always does it to me and I'm always the one apologizing even tho I don't know what I did wrong most of the time. I send her a long paragraph and she js responds w lol and we move on.

So v told me that I don't deserve that, so I should wait for her to talk to me, and after a while, I was like, "Yk what? Youre right" and she told me "ik this sounds cringy but I'm so proud of you" I was alr kind of crying before that bc I always care more ab ppl then they do ab me and bc of the shitty week I had been having so when I read that I immediately started crying and I was muffling the sounds in my spiderman plushie (I'm so cool ik😎) and I was like that for ab an hour and I haven't talked to my bsf since. We had school the next day, and she ignored me, so I went to my other friends bc I have more of them in my classes than she does, and I had a pretty good day apart from her.

Anyways I forgot what my point was again 😭, but oh yeah today I woke up early to go see the eclipse w my cousins and when I came home I went to get starbucks w my dad and then showered (I had not showered in a while, stinky ik 😪((tbh I think it was the dirty room and clothes that was depressing me)) ) and then I cleaned my room and moved things around. (It was a deep clean day) and I went to go do laundry at my aunties. (I had to put two loads in bc I had a lot of clothes 😭) anyways it is currently 8:30 pm where I am and I js got home bc I had to walk home w my bin.

I come home to my little ipad kid cousins in my room on my bed (I didn't have bedsheets on bc I washed them) they had dirty bare feet and they were jumping on my bed and I had left a drawing on my bed and they crumpled it all up. My aunt js leaves them to do whatever they want bc the older one has autism so that's an excuse apparently??? (Don't come at me she's not a very good mom in that department)((wow that sounded judgy)) also I can't tell them to go away or not jump on my bed because then my parents are gonna make it seem like I'm being dramatic in front of my whole family (my aunts and uncles are here) also I'm Mexican btw so it's a very big deal. Also if I tell my aunt she's gonna be rlly sorry and make me feel guilty ab it and in the end they're gonna end up on my bed either way. Also ik my cousin is also having a bad week so ik small things will provoke him. So yeah 😁 I also have a class tmr at 6:30 pm for two hours and it affects me a lot bc then I feel out of it when I have to come home and get ready for school on Monday.

Anyways sorry for dumping all of this on you and if you made it to the end congrats and thank you 🫶🏽 also feel free to ignore this I js needed to tell someone🧍🏽‍♀️

- 🎧

seems like v is a good friend. and it sounds like you need a good friend right now.

i hope these next few weeks get better, i'm sending a big fat virtual hug your way!