#and it's like useless trying to be like 'no actually' bc people just wanna hate her

[bunnihearted]

being too weird and unlikable and off putting and always being shunned and turned into an outcast everywhere i go and not having felt the connection and healing friendship has on you for so many years has really done a number on me

[autumnrory]

so much of the time i hear something about a celeb and it's like okay i'm not gonna hold that against them bc without doing a deep dive i can't know if there's any truth to it and idc enough to do digging but it does stick in my brain whenever i see/hear about them like damn was that true

[hg-aneh]

Hi,ik I've been asking questions frequently but I'mma do it again bc I'm that petty;

In the AziraCrow relationship/marriage/or whatever. Who do u think is the housewife/husband? 😀

if we're talking about traditional gender roles applied to marriage ((which i believe would NOT apply to them in canon as they're both nonbinary supernatural beings)), i have to preface this by saying that i rlly don't agree with them as a concept

[if ppl choose to engage in them and not judge others for not doing so then good for them (idgaf akfbsjf)]

i hate that they're still being imposed onto people and that they haven't been left in the past for some contexts

i also want to clarify that the following """analysis""" I'm going to make is all for the sake of poking fun at gender roles and satirizing their entire existence.

Having said that, these are my headcanons:

Aziraphale-housewife, Crowley-husband

Why? Simply because husbands are fucking useless and I like to bully Crowley cuz he stinks and he sucks c0ck and b4-

I'm just goofing around 😭

In my little bubble world, they'd be neither (or both if you wanna see it from that POV)

Let's start with this:

If we take the definition of a traditional husband, which is basically "i work and do nothing else cuz I'm a man and men have their mommies i mean wives do everything for them" and take the Work part away, which is what we'd do if we were to place the ineffables in the south downs aka their retirement shack, then you get a useless fuck

And in reality, they both do jackshit (that's the whole premise of s1) so????? does that mean they're both husbands???

For further insight let's try to affirm Aziraphale is the housewife.

Aziraphale bakes, so he's probably a decent cook too; that's "housewife" material. He also happens to be very pretty and plump and a blonde, which I've been told are pretty ladylike things to be (/sarcasm)

(There are no pretty male blondes in ba sing se good omens)

He dresses in light, dainty clothing and talks with an accent only girls and women talk with, as well as getting his nails done and using make up for his magic act, and he says "please" and "thank you", which are things only women do (I'M BEING SARCASTIC. I'M BEING VERY SARCASTIC. god i hate gender rolesAAAA)

Now this is where the comparisons end cuz let's face it, Aziraphale is a lazy fuck.

You KNOW the bookshop smells like mold and he just miracles it clean every now and then.

He'd rather sit his plump (pretty) blond ass on the couch and read the day away than actually get to doing the baking and cooking or caring for the kids (plants) if it's not a hobby activity

Now let's do the opposite and try to affirm Crowley as the housewife.

He's clean (does the cleaning), he's of service when needed, he organizes when he's stressed (read the book), he- he drives a car...

OH SHIT. MAN ACTIVITY!!!!!🤯🤯🤯 (we're still being sarcastic here, it's not over EFJSJF)

In all seriousness though, trying to fit these two into gender roles, even as a joke is kinda difficult even in headcanon-land ajbfsnf

At least that's my opinion

For every traditionally "feminine" thing you have one of them do, the other outdoes that by a mile. And vice versa with the traditionally "masculine" things, like "being useless" and "car" /sarcasm is back.

So which one would be which? I think they're both dumbasses who fight over who gets to do what in the household (neither of them wants to do anything except for cuddling) and come up with an agreement to divide each chore :)

y'know, like normal people in a functional marriage (my parents lol)

[pupyuj]

g!p yujin would cum in 40secs bc shes so sensitive

sub yuj enthusiasts STAND UPPPPP

frrrrr it would be kinda useless to edge her bcs she genuinely can't hold it :(( even wony puts up more of a fight!! but imagine bratty sub g!p yujin right?? she's annoying and there's not one second where she wasn't trying to agitate you but you're still her nice and good mommy bcs she fucks you so well and that was enough for you to give her whatever she wants but what if one day a switch flips and you don't let her slide with her antics??

it all going down at a formal party too 🤭 baby would work hard to look handsome for you and she'd be the sweetest and most polite young lady in the room but then she turns around and flirts with people she knows you can't stand or discreetly does things that would make you look bad if anyone in the room caught wind of it like grabbing your ass while you're talking to a colleague??? also sitting down at some table with her hand on your thigh 🤭 yujinnie being all up in your ear trying to get a reaction out of you :((

"i wanna go home, mommy... this party's too boring."

"and you look too good in that dress... let me tear it off, please."

"or i could just go home with that pretty unnie over there... looks like she could use better company, anyway."

and then her hand slides inside your dress.. knowing yujin she probably had all these plans to tease you in the dark like that but unfortunately (or fortunately 👀) for her, this was a bad day to start acting up! grabbing her wrist and giving a look and she shuts up almost immediately bcs omg??? she rarely ever sees you actually annoyed at her; it was both a turn on and such a scary thing,, but yujin knew better than to resist when you excused the two of you to the bathroom when really you just took her to a dark corner🫠🫠

turning yuj into a whining mess when you reach inside her slacks, no even bothering to pull her pants down :(( teasing her and saying "hmm? where'd your words go, baby?" and she just whines and shakes her head bcs you were jerking her off so good :(( "you were so brave earlier..." you whisper in her ear and it only made her moan 🫠 yujinnie not being to look at you while you're staring her down,, she closes her eyes and looks everywhere but you bcs that would only make her cum so much faster <//3

"you should know better than to try and embarrass me in front of my colleagues like that... but that's okay. little brats like you only need one good lesson." and then ur kissing her neck,, how could she not make noises? :(( BUT LIKE ehe covering up her mouth with your hand?? making her turn her head to the side just so you can kiss more of her neck and make a mess on her skin for everyone to see 🤭🤭 her muffled moans, her weak thrusts into your hand and her teary eyes were more than enough for you to want to let her fuck you right then and there but you had to restrain yourself—she needed to be punished 😈

"you're already gonna cum, honey? i haven't even touched you for that long," oh she would absolutely hate being teased like that,, especially after the stunt she pulled so now yujin just looks so small and weak,, but you loved her like that 😙 seeing a lone teardrop fall down her cheek when you squeeze her cock and cooing at her.. she looked so adorable :(( "you're pathetic, yujin-ah." and then a little nibbling at her collarbone and she would just give in 😵‍💫😵‍💫

her cumming all over your hand and additionally her briefs and her pants bcs remember you never pulled it down :(( her eyes widening at the sight of her cum leaking through her slacks and looking at you in disbelief when you tell her that the two of you should say goodbye to some friends before leaving... yujin hated being humiliated, even if this will all lead to a very fun night of you punishing her for being a bad girl 💔💔💔 her hanging her head low and sticking so fucking close behind you while you talked and bid your farewells to your friends, hoping that nobody sees that wet spot on her pants as well as the mess you've made on her neck... cutie yujinnie pouting the entire car ride home aww, but that was what she gets for being a little brat 🤭

[desire-mona]

Could I ask for a mini ramble on why Keating is your favourite character? Poised with a notebook and pen to take down notes haha

YES!!!!!!!

BECAUSE NOBODY EVER TALKS ABOUT HIM AND THATS HONESTLY SO RUDE!!!!!!!

so like. keating; let's talk about that

we desperately need to acknowledge that keating is an amazing man right down to his core. he is so passionate about living life in a way that makes him feel fulfilled that he makes it his main goal to teach others how to do the same.

he experienced the same exact thing as the poets, remember, the movie makes a big deal of how nothing at welton changes. he had the same exact oppressive environment growing up as they did, so he knew exactly how to connect to these boys.

HIS INTENTIONS AND ACTIONS WERE NOTHING BUT PURE, AND THATS WHAT MAKES HIS ENDING ALL THE MORE DEVASTATING.

every single one of his peers and superiors fully believed that neil's death was keatings fault, and actively shunned him for it. not a singular person that wasnt a Teenager in his community understood what he was trying to do. welton painted the narrative that keating taught these insane useless lessons about breaking the rules BUT NEED! I! REMIND! YOU! HE MADE A PRETTY BIG EMPHASIS ON THE FACT THAT U GOTTA BE SMART ABT IT! he called out charlie for the call from god thing for a reason!!

another crazy devastating thing abt keating + neils death is the fact that neil was understanding exactly what carpe diem mean's IMMEDIATELY. AND WAS ACTING ON IT!! he pursued things that he knew would make him happy and fulfilled in the long run, he knew what he wanted to do with his life and he took the first opportunity to get it. the exact fucking definition of seizing the day. keating was REACHING THIS KID SO WELL!! HE WAS UNDERSTANDING EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS SAYING!!! AND THEN!!! AND THEN!!!!!!!!!!

so imagine this. you grow up in the most rigid, boring, unchanging environment and decide fuck it, im gonna Do Something for Myself for Once. you start to think oh, this is actually kinda sick, doing things that make me happy. you escape the environment that aims to essentially make these Children into what their idea of successful is. (quick reminder that there are actual children also attending welton. like kids. like 9 year olds n shit.) you actually chase after every opportunity to be what your idea of successful is, and were so passionate about that way of living that you learned how to teach others how to do it. and also poetry and stuff.

so youre doing exactly that, you finally got to a point where youre doing exactly what you wanna do, and teaching these kids in a situation just like yours. and its going SO WELL! there's this one kid who just GETS IT and is doing it flawlessly and then - oh !

and now everyone around you is like um wtf this is your fault actually. SO YOU HAVE TO PROCESS THE FACT THAT YOUR STUDENT IS DEAD ON TOP OF HAVING TO RELIVE THE ENVIRONMENT YOU HATED AND ACTIVELY WORKED AGAINST YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. AND NOW YOU HAVE NO INCOME OR COMMUNITY OR HOME OR FRIENDS. AND THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT KNOW YOU ARENT A MURDERER ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18. AND YOUR WIFE LIVES IN ANOTHER COUNTRY. OH AND ALSO YOUR RESUME IS RUINED AND ITLL PROBABLY BE PRETTY HARD TO FIND ANOTHER JOB IF YOU CAN AT ALL.

AND YOU HAVE CANCER. HE HAS CANCER IN THE OG SCRIPT.

keating is my personal description of raw devastation. all of who you are and what you wanted to be is in shambles because of something that isnt your fault. but almost everyone around you thinks it is your fault. and we're just gonna move on from that? thats it? thats the end of the story? no more keating after that?????? downright evil. more people gotta talk about this wonderful man!!!!!

also very sorry if this makes no sense, im quite high. but also shameless self promo pls interact with my ask blog @ask-captain-keating bc i lob running it. pleags. ily for asking this btw!!!!

[vagueiish]

….so. like. how do you break someone of the notion that he’s only worth something if he’s useful to people when he’s the player character in an rpg? (this is about bg3 and my current tav)

it’s fun bc it gives an in-character reason to be a completionist, but from a writing perspective? while trying to keep things in line with how my actual gameplay goes? this belief is super reinforced over and over again. esp since there’s no real built in way to be useless. failure is technically an option, but my guy has been rather lucky on the major dice rolls. i suppose i could just throw up my hands and let his actual development come post-game. because i do have some ideas for that. but it’d be nice to have some development happen during the events of the game

…and this is getting a bit longer than i intended so…

maybe i could purposely fail a dice roll during a super important quest or something and see how he copes with the aftermath, but like. idk. he already accidentally destroyed the whole crèche, but that was less him being useless and still loved and more a ‘stop being a dipshit, think before you act’ moment. and it happened organically, which is nice. i don’t want to necessarily force anything, but at the same time, i’m almost gonna have to if i want some change to occur in the game timeline, right? put on my god pants and divinely intervene and all for the sake of character growth

i have this idea that maybe something happens late game where he’s out of commission for a while and needs to be taken care of by the squad. which he absolutely hates because he fully expects them to resent him for it and hate him and so forth, but no. he’s spent the whole journey taking care of them, now it’s their turns to have his back. but then idk how exactly to put him out of commission for a while in a way that doesn’t kill him or something because, d&d universe, magic healing, it’s not like they’d let him stay injured like that. especially since he’s at ‘exceptional’ with all the homies by the end. and also it can’t be something super long because, y’know, mother brain is trying to break free and all that…

or. oh. maybe they see him struggling. the weight of everything is finally to the point that he can no longer smile and wave off concern and redirect any such conversation convincingly. everyone collectively decides he needs a break, so they force him to sit this one out, lmao. and he’s fucking miserable, spending a good portion of the time thinking they’ve deemed him useless and it’s only a matter of time before they get rid of him completely. and it’s double bad, actually, because once he stops moving, The Anxiety asserts itself and The Thoughts start nagging at him and he starts to spiral even further. and instead of opening up, he sets off on his own to take care of a quest or whatever and ends up getting Fucked Up and he needs to be taken care of anyway, but this time with a nice side-helping of lovingly getting chewed out by his companions….

idk. maybe i’m looking in the wrong direction? or maybe i’m thinking too much about it. it’s not necessary to have a character arc to play the game. but, by gum, i fuckin wanna figure this shit out. as a writing brain exercise

[littlenekosfan]

so i know some people think jugo was thankful that yhwach killed his uncle in this fire, but he never showed any sort of gratitude about it.. lemme explain

we all know jugo’s uncle was abusive toward him, and its honestly hard to tell for sure what kind of abuse or how it would happen, he’s evil that’s without a doubt, but was he to jugo’s eyes? i know it was telling in that one panel, but abuse isnt just about hurting the other, there is that “affection” given there and there so it make it seem its “just a bad phase, he actually loves you” or sometimes you have the power imbalance that makes him not question his uncle's authority or even worse, jugo doesnt know better, he knows he doesnt like it, but perhaps he thinks its something normal or that he deserves it (for the useless child he is, we all know he has low self-esteem so)

so we cant know for sure what was happening between the two, all we know is that it was bad in our pov

when bazz shows up in the picture, jugo is exposed to another kind of love, a genuine friendship, and we see him how he needed that, he accepts and embraces it the moment he feels more than just a tool in the relationship (he wasnt so keen about it at first bc new relationship was not an option bc it would be troublesome.. if his uncle were to know, he knows it would end up bad). and so, during these 6 months, it was just.. better for him (not the best times but not the worst) even if he couldnt hang out with bazz all the time

when the fire happened, we see him being totally indifferent about it, and really, he didnt show any sadness nor joy, and i believe its because 

no sadness: i already explained that one, but jugram didnt understand bazz’ relationship with his parents/home and how much it meant to him, and with his background, he simply cant feel sympathy even less empathy

no joy: this is fucked up and i know you guys dont wanna hear this, but maybe he didnt wish death to him, that he cared about him somehow, and im saying this with no intention to make you feel bad about his uncle, what im trying to say is,,as someone who can relate to jugo’s trauma, i can understand how he’s not one bit joyous about it, not even glad, maybe relieved and even then, that can be a big word for what he feels,, and this is what trauma is like, his uncle was still someone who gave him a home and fed him (arguably) when his very own parents abadonned him (whatever how that happened, jugo seems to not know himself) so all he had was his uncle, its hard to believe he would hate him with all his being and wish he was dead already… and i know some of you would think “no no he would hate him and run away” would he? we tend to project as adults.. , but adults who lived csa, they know they didnt know how bad it was when they were young, when you grow up, you start to realize a lot of fucked up things about that abuse and how it affects you as an adult, so we cant blame or expect jugo do have done something about it and even hate his uncle for it… its sad i know, but im pointing that out bc…

in friend 3 chapter, jugo did not show an ounce of hesitation when it came to yhwach giving him a position (he hesitated bc of bazz, not bc he thinks good of yhwach) nor did he ever mention him ever again after the fire, which is a sign he coped with his trauma, he put a term on it (although his actions still show signs of it, he simply doesn't think about Him anymore) and that’s a good thing! im really happy for him that he could grow as a person and have a healthy relationship with someone who doesn't see him as a tool but as a person

and also the fact jugo trained to hard to fight FOR bazz tells us how he values his friend wellbeing/goal more than his trauma, (god this sounds terrible, lemme rephrase that) after his uncle’s death, jugo didnt know what to do anymore, so bazz suggests him to kill yhwach, jugo isnt reluctant to that idea bc he’s the reason his friend lost everything, and he wasnt too into it bc he doesnt feel hate for yhwach like bazz did, so he joins him for bazz goal instead of just roaming around with no home, and as he grow to train more and more, he did it with the intention to help his friend, not to kill yhwach (bc if it was the case,we wouldnt have friend3), to make it short, jugo’s intention in friend3 (before and during the breakup) were always about helping bazz and not join yhwach bc he thinks he owe him or he’s grateful for what he did to his uncle

so to say yhwach saved him from his uncle is one thing, but saying jugo was thankful yhwach did that to him is not quite true, it was a turning point in his life which permitted him to have a new life (“so yhwach did save jugo”, yeah, by ruining his friend’s life and make them survive in a forest for 5 years all alone and have the worst breakup in bleach, he had to put up with exchanging powers for who knows how long and how much that didnt let him sleep or have the right mind, and to lose all the kingdom he build during these 999yrs, all that for ultimately regretting abandoning his friend for power… yeah, he “saved him”)

[collegeoflore]

12 and 23 for Xarrai

8 16 and 24 for Ieriyn

for that Tav meme?

tysm!!!

(questions are here)

xarrai:

12. What opinion does your Tav have about the Gods?

the short answer is: not a fan.

the long answer is xarrai sees all the gods as tyrants - look at shar, who demands her followers give up their memories; or mystra, who takes chosen after chosen and keeps them like pets; or vlaakith, who. well. vlaakith. they're cruel rulers who demand obedience and worship from their followers, even those who claim benevolence. as far as xar is concerned, bane is just the only one being honest about who he is and what he wants. they don't really give a shit about what gods others choose to worship but they are silently (or um. not so silently) judging anyone who is particularly devout. every time shadowheart talks about shar early game xarrai is just nodding along like yep. mmhmm. yeah sure. and aggressively rolling their eyes when they walk away lmao. there's an element of bitterness to it too, though. here they are on this adventure surrounded by people who desperately want the favor of their gods but all xarrai wants is to be well and truly forsaken by bane. (at the same time, though, they recognize the only reason they're still alive is because he hasn't forsaken them - bane doesn't suffer fools or failures, after all - so it's a bit of a double edged sword.)

23. What are 2-3 songs that your Tav would relate to?

this is actually the hardest question u could have asked bc i have an almost 40 song (and growing lol) playlist for xarrai LMAO. these are a few i've been really vibing with the last few days, but i don't know that they're the ones xar would relate to the Most by any means.

burn your village - kiki rockwell

metaphor - the crane wives

kill all your friends - mcr

and honorable mention for grey veins by ls dunes. i had this song on repeat for like two days while i was starting to build their character because i picked this game up like right after i saw lsd in concert and it ended up coloring a lot of how i viewed xarrai initially lol

(mutuals feel free to lmk if you want the link to the whole playlist (or my astarion and/or xarrastarion ones) - i'm a dirty apple music user and the playlist has my government name on it so i don't wanna post it publicly but i am down to share)

ieriyn

8. Did your Tav have any romantic and/or sexual relationships prior to their illithid adventure? If yes, who was it with and what was it like? If no, how did they feel about being single?

yes! he had a couple of boyfriends when he was still in school. nothing super serious, honestly - just your typical teenage relationships and all the drama that entails. in the last few years he hasn't really had many partners - a fling here or there, but again nothing serious. i will say though he has a thing for older men with big brown eyes :3c (gale never had a chance is what i'm saying. it was over for him before it even began. this twink is going to ruin his life.)

16. How does your Tav feel about killing?

not good! as of where i am in the game right now (about to defend the grove from being raided following some #mistakes ieriyn made when talking to minthara) he hasn't killed another thinking creature ever. he really really doesn't want to and has spent half the battles the party has been in so far more or less cowering in a corner for fear of killing someone accidentally if he uses his magic. he's honestly kind of dead weight. but defending the grove is going to change things - he can't sit there and do nothing when this is his fault and he knows he has to pull his weight or the party is going to end up dumping him on the side of the road, assuming any of them survive this. (lae'zel and astarion in particular hate his fucking guts for being so useless and yet trying to take the credit for shit anyway lol) i don't think he's ever going to feel good or even necessarily okay about killing, but i do think he's going to learn to deal with it anyway.

24. What first impression does your Tav give off to strangers?

i think initally ieriyn comes off as a spoiled brat tbqh. he's deeply out of touch with the way "normal" people live and has really never been outside his bubble of wealth and comfort, which makes him difficult to talk to i think. he's also heinously arrogant - sometimes because he genuinely believes it ("i'm a special gifted magic kid and soooo powerful and strong") and sometimes because he's trying to cover up for what he doesn't know or what he's afraid of. this is smth i imagine is going to be extremely different by the end of the game, but as of rn he gives a pretty shitty first impression LOL

[defountaine]

DEFOUNTAINE.

independent + private roleplay blog for FURINA DE FONTAINE, of mhy's GENSHIN IMPACT as judged by SINCLAIR ( 21 ). crossover + oc friendly. low activity due to college ( junior yr ) + old laptop.

INTEREST CHECKER. / GOOGLE DOC.

rules under cut.

NOTES. ( THIS MAY BE UPDATED AS TIME GOES ON. )

not spoiler or leak free

i tag triggers as “ trigger // “ 

for the main verse ( gi ), i'm almost entirely caught up on the main story.

hc heavy.

i use she/he/they for furina. she looks like both a woman and a twink and it's giving me gender envy, okay. genderfluid furina is so real to me.

generally novella because i love writing a lot!!

scarce activity bc my laptop is fucked up ( most of the keys are stiff lol ) + full time college student. i am literally doing a research proposal this semester.

aforementioned keyboard thing may lead to typos

i tag a lot of my ooc posts ( since a majority of the time they’re useless ) as “ irrelevant // ” as to not clog up peoples dash 

sometimes tumblr doesn’t send my asks so if you’ve liked for an inbox call and you don’t receive it, thats why 

mutuals can ask for discord<3 i encourage it actually since im active there more often but im very anxious and tend not to initiate conversation unless i feel like we’re very close 

if i ever bother you lmk<3 i’ve been told i can get a little spammy at times and i’ll admit i do get easily excited so if i need to tone it down just let me know!

if i’m following you i’ve read your rules !! i’ll assume you’ve done the same if you decide to follow back!

i only have access to the beta editor, sadly. i can try and pull some bullshit but i don't know if it'll work. my apologies.

NSFW.

those who are of age and have characters of age can smut with me. that said, furina is probably not gonna be very easy to fuck. trauma and all that. unless we have pre-established stuff. that's always fun. that said, don't follow just to fuck him, please. gore is also welcomed.

SHIPPING.

i love shipping, so lets do it! platonic, romantic, rivals, familial etc.. love ‘em all! planned or entirely natural, either is fine! if you wanna ship with me just ask! i have no preferences, not really, and i can say the same about furina. both she and i are down to clown with just about anyone. it doesn't even have to be healthy! ( to the tune of tmnt ) codependent toxic yuri/yaoi !

PLEASE DON’T RUSH ME.

full time college student with very limited time to do rp nowadays. i really enjoy writing and all but being rushed to reply makes me lose motivation. however, if i do miss a starter/don’t reply to a thread for a while you can tell me about that!

SELECTIVE + MUTUALS ONLY.

despite me saying this, all in all i probably follow almost everyone back as long as they have a rules + abt page i can find! i don’t follow personals but if you’re a hub or your rp blog is a sideblog, lmk so i can follow you there!  if you have a rules + abt page and i don’t follow back LET ME KNOW. sometimes tumblr doesn’t give me notifications and i don’t pay attention to follower count for the most part. i’m really not picky and im not trying to be mean or ignore you ! 

HATE WILL NOT BE TOLERATED.

any sort of hate will not be tolerated. if i see you picking on anyone or you pick on me , i will block you. that’s not the way i roll.

NO GODMODDING OR ANYTHING OF THE LIKE.

this is pretty standard , but please don’t control my muse or anything of the sort. 

I PRACTICE REBLOG KARMA. KINDA.

 i am not a meme archive blog , so if you do rt them please consider sending them!!

I’M FINE WITH ASKS BEING TURNED INTO THREADS!!

just please turn them into separate text posts, please!!

BE FUCKING NORMAL.

y'know. no racism, homophobia, transphobia or pedophilia, incest, and all that gross stuff. instant block. literally just be normal.

[itstheghostofmypast]

Hey babes, what's up? How you doing?

I'm... not that great actually. Grades are coming out, and I didn't do as well as I thought, so now my mom is calling me useless *family trauma go whee*. It's just that there is so much pressure to apply to foreign universities, which always involves having perfect grades, thousands of extracurriculars, fourteen start-ups, and a cure for cancer. I'm writing some fanfics right to kinda vent before I go back to studying...

BUT HOW ARE YOU? I MISSED YOU SMMM

Okay, so, I'm going to get straight to the point. It has been years. No, bloody generations and desi people ways are not going to change, so please don't let that get to you. Okay, so this is how it works, the older you get, the more complicated things become. Your personality, cognitive processing abilities and traits tend to lean towards whatever you are naturally good at- a thing most desi people do not understand (I am not hating on South Asian parents but it is a common trait). Though our parents are often like this because we come from deterministic countries where either being born rich or being smart enough to go abroad is considered as sucessful. Both these approaches are bullshit.

All my life I was the model A* kid of the entire family- you know what that got me in return? Cousins who hated me because their parents used me as an example for EVERYTHING and a childhood that is comprised of no hobbies, likes or dislikes, extracurriculars and actual friends. As I grew older, highschool came and even though I reached peak- my grades did not and boom: *Bloody useless* *God knows what happened to you* *You used to be a model student*.

To some extent I began to do everything to please others, since my grades weren't cutting it out for me anymore- hell I would even agree with what my 'friends' would say, only to be liked again. Gurl, I had people - my own friends- bully me for years, only because I thought, hey at least I have friends. My family wanted me to do engineering - yes, one of the three options all desi kids get. I could have, but at the end even though I got okayish grades enough to get me into an enginneeing college- my mental health was fked.

At the end, three brain docs later I was able to convince my parents how trivial these social pressures were- yes, I am grateful they agreed but even now, sometimes the desi vibes come out.

So, don't let your EXTENDED family or anyone else get to you. Hey, I came back on Tumblr bc writing makes me feel better, even if I PROCRASTINATE WITH THE REQUESTS.

Find a college/university that teaches what YOU WANNA DO- MOST UNIVERSITIES DGAF about what you got in subjects that aren't related to your degree, trust me.

Whatever happens, happens for the best, so- and try, just try to talk to your parents about chilling- or at least cooling down a bit- i know its risky but at least you'll know you tried and trust me, parents do think about things u say in the middle of the night. They are supposed to be your strength.

YOU NEED TO ENJOY THE MOMENT, MAKE IT ABOUT YOU, SCREW EVERYONE ELSE. IF YOU THINK YOU COULD'VE DONE BETTER, THEN YOU'LL DO BETTER NEXT TIME. BC SELF-REALISATION IS WHAT MATTERS. NOT STUPID ASS PAGAL PEOPLE LIKE BRO IM TELLING YOU PPL JUST EXIST TO PULL YOU DOWN AND YOU- Nah bruh you a whole ass bomb and YOU ARE ONE OF THE BRAVEST PEOPLE I HAVE EVER KNOWN. Do whatever you want- as long as it aint illegal or drugs, dont do that- But

F*** the haters

You deserve your peace of mind, everyone does. And family trauma is a part of you, a part that you will one day be able to supress and laugh at, because you know when you grow you wont be asking a kid named Salman or Ajay what grade he got in 4th grade math, you'll be more concered with if he's happy at school.

Ps: I love you, and missed you too and DONT BE SAD ABOUT STUPID IDIOTS- i messed up my last exam too but hey, as long as you and I are able to become GOOD, CIVIL AND USEFUL CITIZENS WHO CARE ABOUT OTHERS AND THE ENVIRONMENT, WHO CARES? NOBODY SHOULD CARE ABOUT WHAT THAT AUNTY OR UNCLE THINKS. PERIOD.

[manofmanymons]

No one asked but I feel like talking about them so I will

I could go on all day about all the different reasons I really love Miu and Kaito as characters, but I could also do the same for literally every other character. Bc I love the entire cast of Survive to death and have more to say about them than anyone would ever want to hear.

But the main reason these two stand out to me above the rest despite the fact that I wouldn't say they're BETTER by any means is just that...they're so relatable to me, it almost hurts.

Starting with Miu, I'm both a younger sibling and the youngest in my friend group. So like, I'm no stranger to being coddled to death. Even people who I've specifically asked to stop treating me like a child still act like I'll somehow accidentally kill myself if they leave me alone for ten seconds. I'm an adult and literally earlier today my roommate freaked out that my hand was too close to the stove even though I've been cooking and baking for us for the past week. And it's infuriating! I know they mean well and I know it's because they care but ffs it makes me feel like everyone thinks I'm some kind of weak useless idiot. I digress (spoilers for the harmony route) I also know what it's like to have parents that won't believe you when bad things happen to you and try to blame you for things that can't possibly be your fault. I ALSO also know what it's like to have a special interest that means a lot to me but that other people think is weird.

And with Kaito

Boy I don't even know where to start with him

Guess I'll start with saying even though I just said I'm a younger sibling, my family dynamic is a little weird. My sister has always been a bit of a troublemaker, while I was the "so mature for your age" kid, so for as long as I can remember, I've been the one looking after her. I've always felt so responsible for her, and when some shit happened to her in our old town that was bad, well...it kinda felt like I failed my one (1) job. Our parents didn't take her side in what happened; in fact they were pretty pissed at her for getting into trouble. And she didn't wanna tell her friends. So I was really just...all she had. If I wasn't there for her, then no one was. We moved to a new town, she started acting up more, things got difficult. I hated my classmates and my family and I was just so goddamn angry all the time that I was constantly getting in fights at school. It's a lonely experience, feeling like the weight of the world is on your shoulders and no one even notices or cares. And it wasn't until YEARS later that even my sister looked back and was like "holy shit I would've gone insane without you" and even acknowledged that I did a lot for her. So yeah I guess you could say I know how it feels to love someone and want to do anything you can for them even if you're not sure they love you back.

It's exhausting and frustrating and you get PISSED a LOT. Sometimes at them. Especially when they get mad at you when you're just trying to keep them SAFE goddammit why don't they GET THAT. But you don't just stop loving them, ya know? And yeah that makes me a hypocrite considering earlier I said I hate when people feel like they need to protect me, but also my 5 foot 90lb sister tryna go out ALONE with telling anyone where she's going is not the same as me having someone pull a box cutter out of my hands because "sweetie be careful that's sharp"

ANYWAYS

The hyperspecific circumstance of being an edgy 14 year old suddenly adopted into a friend group where people are baffling kind to you and now you have to learn how to communicate with words is just comically relatable like Kaito gives me so much secondhand embarrassment with his shitty communication skills. Like I, the player, understand exactly what he's TRYING to say. But then what he actually says is just so far off the mark that I cringe at the flashbacks of teen me doing the same thing. Like okay spoilers for the wrathful route and dracmon's mega evolution but FOR EXAMPLE

The time he tried to tell Aoi that he understood that she felt responsible for Saki's death but that it really wasn't her fault and she did all she could but he accidentally made her feel 10x worse instead

And the time the sentiment of "please leave so I can go all out in this battle knowing that you are safe because you're important to Miu which makes you important to me and I need to protect you" just came out as like "get out of my way"

He tries so hard to do good but he fails so much at conveying his intentions that it always comes across as bad and it makes me so sad for him because like...MOOD, little buddy.

Even though the violent cringey little bastard that was 14 year old me doesn't exist anymore and hasn't in a very long time, Kaito is just such an intensely personal character to me—to an almost terrifying extent. He occupies a very special place in my heart, even over characters I've loved for years. He's my favorite little guy!

[binder-reviews-by-arden]

forthem binder review

i just received this binder in the mail, and decided to post a review. details under the cut

i was a size "ethereal" in this brand. First off, can I mention how much I hate the sizing this company uses? “we dont do sizing bc body positivity” honestly id rather be called fat then go through that confusing shit. picking out your body shape was also confusing as hell, none of those looked like my shape at all. in an effort to be body positive, they just ended up being really confusing and honestly a little insulting. like, come on. kindred? ethereal? fire? amethyst? balance? what the hell do those even mean. i get its supposed to be like “omg sizes dont really MEAN anything” but since they GET the sizes from the apex chest measurement, it would make SO MUCH MORE SENSE for the sizes to just have a number that represent that measurement. way easier than taking the stupid fucking customization quiz every time you wanna see your size. if you were so concerned abt people seeing a number associated with their body, then why are you having measurements at all? if you acknowledge that measurements are incredibly important for clothing (which they are), then WHY are you trying so hard to avoid that fact when giving people their sizes. just condescending especially since the person who made the goddamn things LOOKS pretty thin to begin with so like… who is this helping. just feels off to me. does anyone feel GENUINELY better about themselves bc a quiz called them size “fire” instead of a size “40” after their chest measurement?

but back to the actual binder review. The binder was pretty easy to put on, no issues there. The colour I got for "forest green". The fabric feels kind of like thick swimsuit fabric. It pinched a little under my armpits but I'll go into why I don't want to get a bigger size later. This is likely just due to my stupid disproportionately large ribcage than a flaw with the company's sizing. The reversible style of the binder was pretty interesting. It was fairly comfortable to wear.

As for the actual binding quality? Not good, and worse than all of the binders I've previously reviewed. Honestly fits like a sports bra, which is weird because I could feel it compressing: I got that kind of breathless feeling right after I took it off. The compression I could feel was roughly the same feeling I got with my gc2b binder, except the gc2b binder made me considerably flatter. This is likely due to the front panel design, while the forthem binder is just the same all around. This is the reason why I don't want to get a size up, since it would likely be completely useless even as a bra. I was in the middle of the measurement for my size too. The pinching will likely go away when it stretches though, and i remember a similar feeling when wearing my gc2b binder for the first time.

Comparison of my wearing the forthem binder in a tight-ish t shirt vs a regular bra in the same t shirt:

overall, would i recommend this binder? No, it's not worth the price. These binders cost $48, I got mine for a little less because I found a coupon code but that's way too much for what you get. Considering returning it so I can use the money to buy a different binder. It's comfortable but only a little more comfortable than my gc2b binder and that one compresses way better, so I'd just recommend getting a gc2b.

(a side note: im not trans (butch lesbian), but i tagged the post as such so this review would reach people most likely to buy and wear binders so it's as helpful as possible for anyone trying to find good binder brands. just wanted to clear things up in case anyone was wondering, don't want to claim stake within a community im not technically apart of)

[carrieway]

i wish i could pick up social cues and that i wasnt oblivious. ive made so many people uncomfortable in my life without realizing and thinking we were friends, and then that's not the case, and by the time i know it's too late. autism fucking sucks i dont talk to anyonr but my partner everyday and i try to branch out but i get too scared im repeating the same things again and making people uncomfortable and thinking we're friends when we're not. the one person i feel comfortable speakjng to isnt online a lot. i spend all day just trying to fill the day and not think about the fact that if i dont make myself talk to my mom i wont have spoken to a single person that day. idk thos is all so selfish. i dont have it that bad but im acting like it's awful i dont know i wish my brothers liked me i wish i had a sibling that was nice to me i wish i didnt drop out of high school bc then i wouldnt have lost my friends i know i need to be present and in front of someone for them to remember me but i was just dumb about all of it idk n then i think i have a friend i can talk to but turns out i was just making her feel guilty bc she didnt actually like me or want to be friends and i couldnt pick up on it bc she was nice to me n im an idiot that doesnt pick up on hints like oh my god her ghosting you constantly isnt even a hint it's a fucking neon light post and now i see her account on here and fucking instagram andntwitter bc her posts are reposted there now and i feel like im gonna throw up every time. i was calming down n then she appeared on my dash andnnow im useless i hate having this brain other people dont break down like this other people van see someone doesnt wanna be around you and pick up on that and instead i just thought she wasnt feeling okay and when im not okay talking helps so i kept talking fuckin idiot of the year!!!!!!!!!!

[the-anonymous-vent-blog]

hi, i just found this blog by searching for "anonymous vent" because i just. i just really need to get this out, but the only friends that i'm close enough to to vent to are going through rough stuff and my part of my vent is about one of them so. and these friends also follow my tumblr. so i'm here.

i'm just so fucking tired. i started music school this year, studying music technology, which i have next to no prior experience with, but i was ready to learn. but it turns out our school is one big shit show where nothing works and a lot of people, like teachers i mean, just don't care. like seriously something like half of the students get burnt out within their first year. and i'm really feeling it too, and i've lost my motivation for learning music technology, bc it turns out they don't really teach us! we just gotta go mix gigs on our own accord and hope it doesn't end up a disaster. and when i seriously have a miniscule amount of prior experience, yea, that doesn't sound very inviting. the latest gig i did i just froze, i panicked and had no idea to do, so two other students did most of the job and i felt completely useless and stupid. and i feel bad and lazy about how i'm not motivated to learn all this stuff on my own, like i wanna know and learn this stuff, but it's not such a passion like that. i dunno. for the first time in my life i have wondered if i'll be able to graduate at all.

in the spring i've got so much stuff coming up, like long term projects every month, some are school, some are work, and some are volunteer stuff. i don't know how i'm gonna be able to handle that. i mean it's gonna be lots of rehearsals, lots of meetings, long nights working. yea.

this year also our country got a new government, and guess what, they're racist, classist, homophobic, transphobic, and all that fun stuff! there's so much drama going on about the new government closing borders and making huge budget cuts that worsen poor people's, students', and families' lives in an unbelievable way, while happily giving money to the already wealthy. that's rly stressful. then there's the ongoing war in ukraine, which actually quite closely affects us. and a genocide in palestine, can't even describe how frustrating and heartbreaking it is. oh yea and also i've now come to realize in our country the media lies and the police are corrupt (i know it's not new to most people in the world, but i've wrongfully believed our country is just and modern). oh right and of course climate change! natural disasters and epidemics that follow that! ain't that fun!

with all of that stuff going on, i've become a much more active citizen, taking part in protests of many different kinds. it's wonderful to feel like i'm able to do Something about the injustices of the world, but when the protests don't give much result, it's frustrating. and it turns out taking part in activism leads to a lot of feelings of guilt for not doing More. and just in general, activism is a lot of hard work, meetings and getting educated, and they involve their risks. so. you know.

and lastly i have two friends who are both severely depressed, both suicidal. one of them is going through very rough treatment right now, and it doesn't look like it's helping, it's just exhausting. at least weekly, i go to bed fearing that in the morning my friend won't exist anymore. i try, i try so hard to tell them that they mean the world to me (and the other friend also tells them that, they both know each other very well), i try to offer to help, to come over at night, to drive them to the hospital when they're especially bad, but it feels like nothing works. i'm just so scared. i love them so fucking much.

so um. i guess that's all. or all the big things at least, going on right now. then i have the general stuff, hating myself, hating my body, feeling so fucking unproductive, i haven't been creative in so so so long.... i feel like i can't get a grip on my life and just get things done, and take care of myself too. there's so much.....

i dunno, i guess that's enough complaining for now. sorry for saying so much. i'm just. i am so fucking tired. i really wish i could just. pause the entire world. and just. enjoy christmas. go sledding. or ice skating. play minecraft with my brother. breathe. but there's just so much going on both in my own personal life and in the world in general that's just. it's all crashing down on me.

Woah. That's alot.

[clemencebrothersobsession]

I'm just gonna rant in the tags bc I'm angry and anxious and frustrated and I don't know where else I can say it and just have my feelings out there in the void so I don't have to think about them anymore. I'll most likely delete this post in a few hours because I'm a pussy and can't be open about my emotions for more than two seconds

[lawisnotmocked]

Hello sir. You will probably either find this deeply offensive or hilarious but lately I have an obsession with the character of Javert as I recently watched the 2012 Les Mis because “oh the memes about it back in the day were classic.” Yes I am serious sometimes I watch movies just because I liked a YTP of it. Then I find out that in addition to being perfect meme fodder, Javert has a weird one-sided (??) pseudo enemies to loves dynamic with the loaf of bread guy (I did not know his name until like three days ago to me he was always just the guy who sang “I stole a loaf of bread.”)These types of characters who give vibes like they’re lgbt, have dog or cat-like qualities, and are overly dramatic typically become my Blorbos (a similar example would be majima from RGG who’s also a crazy dog-like man who attacks his crush.) SO what I am requesting is could you please give me your crack headcanons about Javert? Like funny shit about Javert. If you have recommends for crack fics about Javert I’d appreciate it, bonus points if any of the headcanons/fics are Valvert cuz idk I just find them really funny together. Prob mostly because of the memes not gonna lie. If you could also educate me on Valjean and Javert’s mannerisms in the Brick I would be most appreciative because to be totally real with u… I’m so sorry but I don’t wanna read or watch parts that are not about him or loaf guy 😬 (ya I kno shame on me and all that…) but I need to know more about how they act so I can make hideous crack fics of my own. Thank u 🙏🐶

First of all anon how does it feel to be the funniest person on the internet this is the best ask I’ve ever received :’3

Even without crack headcanons brick Javert is just absolutely hilarious as a character?? I feel like a lot of adaptations try to take him too seriously and like yeah he does have a serious and tragic aspect to his character but he’s also a very fruity drama queen who has like 0 awareness of his surroundings, acts like a feral dog on crack and has this weird magic power that allows him to know people’s real identity no matter how well disguised they are. (I maintain that les mis does have a form of magic system in the brick but it’s more like mundane mostly useless superpowers?? Like super strength that just makes you a little bit more strong that an average person, or really good instincts or something. Anyway lol)

Some Actual Canon Facts about Javert from the brick are:

- Is implied to have the soul of a dog

- Bares all of his teeth when he smiles

- Fucking hates reading but does it anyway

- Keeps a snuffbox on him at all times and snorts snuff after he feels like an arrest has gone well

- Dissociates for a solid 5 minutes and misses the entirety of a conversation bc someone said something he didn’t agree with

- I know the ‘you need to punish me Mr Mayor’ scene is in the movie but it’s so much funnier in the brick :’3

- Accidentally sets his coat on fire by standing too close to the stove

- Announces himself to Thenardier’s criminal gang who he’s about to arrest by making a stupid joke

- Tells Thenardier that he can shoot him if he wants because the gun will just misfire. Thenardier shoots him and the gun misfires.

- Doesn’t really have any friends and his coworkers don’t like him either because he doesn’t take bribes and refuses to work with criminals to catch other criminals

- There’s an entire Code Of Symbolism in the brick thats purpose is to represent how horny Javert is, which I wrote about here along with some other Javert related stuff

This man is just a fucking disaster honestly :’3 I headcanon that’s he’s ADHD, autistic, severely depressed and probably has some form of childhood PTSD?? But I’ve also seen other people headcanon that he has BPD or OCD and honestly all of them are good hcs because he’s absolutely neurodivergent.

I absolutely understand not wanting to read the whole brick if you only care about two of the characters lol, but the Hapgood English translation of the brick is public domain so I’ve linked a couple of Javert chapters you might find funny!

Javert’s introduction | punish me mr mayor | Javert lends Marius two pistols he never gets back and burns his coat on the stove | Javert arrests Thenardier and tells him to shoot him

Brick Valjean is also a chaotic bitch but he’s less camp and more like a cryptid with PTSD. Off the top of my head he:

- Sews money into the inside of his coat when Cosette is young

- Keeps the rest of his money buried in the woods

- Accidentally convinces some townspeople that he’s the devil by sneaking around said woods

- Stuffs his pockets with wigs and disguises in case he ever needs to make a quick getaway

- Someone tries to rob him and he tackles them to the ground then lectures them on how they should let god into their heart and stop stealing

- Holds a hot poker against his arm when Thenardier tries to extort him for money to intimidate him

- He just really loves Cosette this isn’t a funny or anything he just really loves his daughter and wants the best for her

In the brick Javert also doesn’t even actively seek out Valjean?? They go years without thinking about each other then they run into each other again in the weirdest circumstances and go ‘omg not this weirdo again 🙄’

As for my own favourite crack headcanons :3c

- Modern au Javert is a furry. His fursona is a wolfdog called Orion :-)

- [NSFW] He’s unironically into vore

- He wants a fursuit very badly but he can’t afford it until he’s dating Valjean and Valjean buys him one

- Valjean doesn’t get it but he’s glad his partner is happy :-)

- [NSFW] In my ideal Javert lives modern au he quits the police, goes to therapy and joins a kink group because I think he’d thrive in that environment 😌

- Valjean has like 5 fake driver’s licenses

- Javert will literally comment on how hot he finds a man and still doesn’t realise he’s gay until he makes out with Valjean. Thinks he’s straight even though he’s never been attracted to a woman before. Is literally that unaware of his own feelings.

- Valjean has no fashion sense. He dresses so bad that it comes full circle and it looks like his outfit clashes intentionally. Cosette is horrified.

- Javert is awful to watch movies with, especially detective movies, because he talks the whole time and points out all the inaccuracies

- Valjean never makes eye contact. Javert makes too much very intense eye contact.

- No one invites them to events because they’re awful together. Javert shit talks people’s outfits or decor very loudly to Valjean and Valjean hates socialising and doesn’t want to be there

I don’t think I know any good crack fic bc I mostly just read angst lol uwu’’ but if anyone has any suggestions pls feel free to add them!! I’ll add links if I think of anything though 😌