#and ive done some googling and basically nobody knows what actually causes it and how to treat it

[zanderbobs]

Having to face the fact that I might actually have to go to the doctors at some point and can't keep putting it off forever

[panharmonium]

you can be my ride or die: a staggeringly long essay about a deceptively short appearance

(aka, pan’s personal depository of notes about prince william of ealdor.)

now that my fic is long since done and posted, i can finally transfer this monster piece of meta out of my google docs and onto my blog, where it can serve as an unasked-for, absurdly detailed, beginning-to-end analysis of my obscure fave.

(whose line ‘yeah, and i’m prince william, of ealdor’ is still the funniest damn shit i’ve ever heard and also the most shocking burn arthur has ever received; i hope he thinks of it sometimes and remembers that humility is a virtue)

(the BRISTLING DISRESPECT!  the ZERO FUCKS GIVEN!  i love him!  please can someone else talk to arthur like this!  he needs it!)

disclaimer before we begin: i wrote this over a year ago, as a character check for myself during the very early stages of working on my fic.  i kept messily adding bits to it over the course of a couple weeks as i explored what i knew about this character and who i understood him to be, but at the time, i didn’t intend on posting it; it was just prep work for my own story-making.  it’s still essentially just a record of my train of thought as i pieced this character together - i’ve cleaned it up a bit now and added some recent links to make it more coherent, but it was never meant to be a posted essay, just a collection of notes for myself.  

be forewarned, it is more comprehensive than the things i’ve written about this character since, and it goes on for years.  if you are not interested in many, many pages of super heavy in-depth musings about a character who appeared in one episode, now is the time to scroll on by.  i promise i won’t mind in the slightest; i wrote this for my own purposes and don’t really expect people to read it - i’m posting it just to have it archived with the rest of my merlin stuff.

if you are interested in that sort of thing, however - hit the jump, and off we go!

i really love the episode where we meet will, though i’ve started to love it for new reasons since the first time i watched it.

the first time i watched season 1, 'the moment of truth’ was my favorite S1 episode overall, because it was the first time the Fab Four went off on an adventure together, and that was very exciting; and i also loved it because all the character stuff in that episode was so good; and i also loved it because look, all of us are suckers for that classic seven samurai plot, you know - i loved it in TCW, i loved it in the mandalorian, i loved it in merlin.  not gonna get bored of ‘simple farmers defend their homes with pitchforks’ anytime soon.  it is overall just a solid, self-contained plot with clear emotional arcs, and it sticks its landing well.  it’s a simple, strong story.

nowadays, though, i also love it because of will.

i. will whomst?

prince william of ealdor, that’s who!

will straddles a kind of weird place in canon, because he feels like a minor character to the audience but is very much not a minor character for merlin, who has known will much longer than the brief hour we get to spend with him and who has spent his entire life with will as his sole friend.

but, because will only appears once - let’s start with a round-up.  what do we actually know about him?

he’s a peasant farmer from ealdor, like merlin

his father was killed fighting for king cenred (as a foot soldier - these people are not wealthy enough or high-status enough to afford or be accepted into the knighthood)

his mother is either dead or absent

he’s painfully class conscious and doesn’t trust the nobility

he’s a “troublemaker” (the interpretation of which is...well, it’s left to the viewer’s discretion.  fandom seems to jump to ‘fun mischief and pranks,’ though i personally don’t get that vibe from this episode.  “troublemaker” in will’s case seems to mean more “doesn’t know how to keep his head down/can’t go along to get along to save his life.”  it means when he sees something that he thinks is Wrong, he absolutely will not shut up about it even when all his neighbors are sick of him and want him to just let it go.  it means he can’t stop rocking the boat even when rocking the boat makes everybody want to strangle him.)

he supplements his agricultural pursuits with carpentry.  you can see in his house big piles of hewn timber along one wall, as well as a grindstone and a shaving horse, and when he comes out of his house on two separate occasions he’s holding woodworking tools (mallet, chisel, etc)

he knows about merlin’s magic - for how long this has been the case, we’re not told.  it doesn’t feel like a new thing to me, but ultimately that’s guesswork.

he appears to have just one friend

that one friend is merlin

will loves merlin enough to die lying for him

merlin left will behind.

ii. it wasn’t what i wanted

so let’s talk about that.

merlin is asked “why did you leave?” twice in this episode, first by arthur and then by will.  he gives completely contradictory answers to the two of them, and it’s worth remembering, before examining both responses, that one answer is inherently more honest than the other, because merlin is only able to tell the whole truth to one of these people.

so when merlin talks to arthur, it goes like this:

“why did you leave?”

“things just...changed.”

“how?”

*silence*

“come on, stop pretending to be interesting and tell me.”

“i just didn’t fit in anymore.  i wanted to find somewhere I did.”

arthur has to drag this answer out of merlin, and it’s not because merlin doesn’t feel like sharing (i mean, come on, we know merlin; merlin wants to be in everybody’s business and he feeds off human connection like a starving man; he’d be thrilled that arthur was interested in his life) - the problem isn’t that he’s shy; it’s that he’s not exactly telling the truth and he’s trying to figure out how to do it in the least deceptive way possible.

i just didn’t fit in anymore.  i wanted to find somewhere i did.

that’s nice.  

it’s also a lie.  

it’s not a total lie, of course - there’s an element of it that becomes true, after merlin gets to camelot and realizes that working for arthur is “not totally horrible all the time” - that he sort of likes the excitement, and the newness, and being somewhere where nobody knows him and nobody will judge him - but that’s the reason he stays in camelot, not the reason he leaves ealdor.

by contrast, when will asks the question, merlin gives a completely different answer:

“why did you leave?”

“it wasn’t what I wanted.  mother was worried.  when she found out you knew - she was so angry.”

it wasn’t what I wanted.  

can we digest that for a moment?

merlin didn’t want to leave home.  

not that he isn’t enjoying himself in camelot now, of course - which he conveniently doesn’t mention in this conversation, because will is upset with him and merlin feels guilty that he’s been off enjoying his new life while will has been struggling at home alone - but at the point of departure, merlin didn’t want to go.  

his answer to arthur about finding a place where he belonged is certain-point-of-view bunk.  he didn’t just up and decide that he wanted to run off and find a place where he fit in better.  he didn’t leave because he wanted to escape a place he didn’t belong.  he didn’t set off in search of adventure and a new life.  it’s true that he didn’t feel like he fit in in ealdor, but that’s not what sent him packing.  he left because his mother found out that will knew about his magic, and she panicked and sent him away.  

iii. why did you leave

most fannish things i’ve encountered tend to interpret merlin’s departure in a much more generous light than i do, with merlin explaining to will that he’s leaving and will being unhappy about it but eventually understanding and kind of like...giving his blessing before merlin goes.  this is fine, of course, but it did surprise me, when i started dipping my toes into fandom, because i never interpreted events in this episode like that, and i don’t think it’s even a plausible read, not from the conversations we’re actually given.  the antipathy that accompanies merlin’s return doesn’t make sense under those circumstances, and moreover, from the way things actually unfold in this episode, we’re told, in order, the following three things:

1) the fact that will asks “why did you leave” tells us that he and merlin did not discuss it prior to the point of departure.  there’s no other reason for will to ask this question.  everything about will’s tone and body language in this scene indicates that he’s been stewing over this for a long time, that he doesn’t understand, that this is something profoundly difficult for him to address.  and while it might be nicer to think that merlin sat down and discussed things with will before leaving for camelot, that’s not the inference we’re being asked to make here.  

2) there is absolutely no way they wouldn’t have discussed it, if will had known that merlin was going to leave.  like - if your only friend in the world told you they were moving to another country tomorrow, there’s no way “why?” wouldn’t be the first question you asked.  there’s no way you wouldn’t have that discussion, at the most basic level, before separating.  it just wouldn’t happen.

3) so, given that information, the unfortunate, inescapable conclusion is this: will didn’t know merlin was going to leave.  merlin left without telling him.

everyone is free to continue to headcanon this in their own ways, of course.  but this is what we’re actually being told.

iv. we don’t want your kind round here

the fact that merlin vanishes without so much as a word to his best friend goes a long way towards explaining why merlin is so uncomfortable when he first sees will in the street.  

when they first encounter each other, merlin looks so apprehensive and wary, and the writers are playing it like ‘uh-oh, someone saw him use magic and now he’s nervous about it!!!’  but two seconds later, you realize that this can’t possibly be what’s causing merlin’s concern, because it’s made immediately clear that will already knows about merlin’s magic and isn’t going to say anything about it.  

merlin isn’t afraid of being outed, in this scene.  but he might, however, be afraid of the reception he’s going to get, given what we just discussed.

merlin just up and disappeared from home, and not so much as a letter since - we know will’s had a secondhand update, probably from hunith (“how’ve you been?!  i hear you’re skivvying for some prince”) but he very clearly hasn’t had any direct contact with merlin since before merlin left.  

merlin knows this was a big fuck-up.  he feels guilty.

(and to be clear - i think there is a lot to be said about just how merlin’s departure unfolded, and what stopped him from getting in touch.  it’s a complicated enough topic for its own piece, and it’s not quite within the scope of this essay, but suffice it to say for now that i don’t believe it stemmed from deliberate thoughtlessness or callousness on merlin’s part; it’s...deeper and more complicated than that.  honestly, i think merlin looks back on this as like...the first major mistake he ever made in his life, his...original sin, sort of.  and i don’t think he’s ever forgiven himself for it, either, but again, that’s a story for another day.)  the point here is that merlin didn’t necessarily want to cause harm, but he knew that’s what he was doing regardless - he knew that leaving without a word was the wrong thing to do.  and in this moment he feels rightfully guilty about all of it, and he’s afraid that his friend won’t welcome him home.

merlin’s moment of uncertainty is real, when will pretends to greet him with hostility.  merlin is afraid that will is angry with him for leaving him behind.

(and let’s not kid ourselves, will definitely is)

it’s a festering thing that keeps boiling to the surface as we progress through the episode.  it shows in the way will finally asks why did you leave, avoiding merlin’s eyes, the question laden with vulnerability.  it’s in the exchange “are you going to abandon them?”/“what, like you did?”  there’s real pain there, and confusion, lots of hurt feelings.

but.

despite all of that, will doesn’t freeze merlin out, when merlin comes riding back into town.  merlin is rightfully afraid that will might not want to see him, afraid that “we don’t want your kind round here” might be less of a joke than it ought to be.  and while all of the troubles that merlin is worried about are absolutely real and poised to cause friction later, the truth is that at that exact moment, when merlin comes walking up the road - none of it matters.  will has been nursing a collection of hurt feelings for months now, yeah, but in the immediate moment, when it comes down to it - he puts them aside.

they both do.  nerves, guilty thoughts, bruised feelings - they temporarily abandon all of that in favor of a momentary joy.  you can see how excited they are when they reunite.  how they start smiling at the same time.  how they laugh their way into that hug.  they’re so happy to see each other.

people get pretty worked up about ***That Time Arthur Finally Hugged Merlin!!!***, but i don’t know.  i think it matters to remember that merlin had people who knew how to hold him long before arthur was even a flicker of a shadow in merlin’s mind.

v. why are you being like this

so they reunite!

and then they fight. D:

but what really matters is how they fight, because even when they’re having an argument, they never let things escalate quite to the level of interpersonal nastiness, certainly never to the level of cruelty for cruelty’s sake - just a few hard truths and a pile of hurt feelings:

“i trust arthur with my life.”

“is that so?  so he knows your secret, then?”

...

“face it, merlin, you’re living a lie, just like you were here.  you’re arthur’s servant, nothing more.  otherwise you’d tell him the truth.”

the delivery in this scene is essential for understanding how these two interact with each other.  it’s so telling.  merlin and will are having an argument, and will is angry about everything we’ve already discussed, and on top of that, some prince is trying to round up a bunch of will’s neighbors for a fight that’s going to get a lot of people killed, and will sounds so sharp when he’s talking, up to and including the challenging “is that so?”  

but then when he sees that he’s touched a nerve there and merlin knows he’s right, his voice drops those edges and goes gentler, regretful, like - he and merlin aren’t all hunky-dory right now, but he’s not out to rub merlin’s face in it, either.  he’s not trying to “get back” at merlin for leaving him.  he’s not like...happy that merlin’s situation is shitty.  

vi.  if i broke it (would you quit?)

we mostly only see these two in a tense season.  they’re arguing with each other for almost the entire episode, and yet even in this at-odds state, there are little things that remind us of what they’re usually like - that they don’t want to be arguing, that this isn’t a natural at-rest state for them, that this isn’t what they’re used to.  they butt heads, but they keep swinging around back to each other, and trying again, and trying again, and trying again.  they never write each other off.  they keep trying to make it work.  

examples: merlin asking “why are you being like this?,” the implication being that will isn’t usually like this, that this isn’t how they usually act around each other.  the two of them together in the background of arthur’s pitiful training session, coming right off the tail-end of another argument and busying themselves with their own work, but still reflexively hanging in each other’s orbit.  merlin, even in the middle of a strained conversation, helping clean up the mess that the bandits made of will’s house, without asking or being asked, like it’s just the automatic, reflexive, natural thing to do.  merlin using will’s proper name when discussing him with other people, but always the diminutive when they’re talking to each other.  merlin following will every time will walks away; will doing the same when merlin’s the one who’s leaving.  that moment up in the hedgerow, with will’s embittered “you know why,” which sets them to arguing again, except instead of it pushing them apart, it pulls them closer together - will climbs right up into the hedge where merlin is standing so they can sit next to each other and talk.

like.  he’s angry!  but the instinct isn’t to storm away, it’s to get closer.

i love that so much.  i love how they’re starting to have another argument and merlin stands there and says “why are you being like this,” to which will, already upset, responds “you know why,” BUT -

but

will stalks up into that hedge and plops himself down right next to merlin, and merlin, without a moment’s hesitation, sits down beside him.

i love that.  they’re angry with each other, but their first instinct is still to close the distance.

i wonder, sometimes, how much of that is a function of them only having each other.  when you’re on the outs with someone, usually you can lean on your other friends, but what can they do?  it’s different when the person you usually seek out for comfort is the same person who’s pissing you off.  you don’t have anyone else to run to, so you can’t ever really storm off.  you have to learn how to hash things out.  you have to learn how to make it work.  you have to learn not to give up on each other.  

vii. she was so angry

the implied backstory for how merlin actually ended up in camelot is so painfully fascinating and, quite frankly, wrenching to think about, given how this episode eventually ends.

when will asks merlin why he left, merlin tells him, “it wasn’t what i wanted.  my mother was worried.  when she found out you knew - she was so angry.”  this is telling us that merlin’s departure for camelot was directly preceded by his mother discovering that will knew about merlin’s magic.  that is what ultimately prompted her to send merlin off to camelot.  of course there would have been other contributing factors - it’s evident that merlin’s situation in ealdor has always been precarious - but her immediate reason for sending him away was the fact that she found out that will knew about merlin’s magic, and she was angry and afraid to learn that merlin had been lying to her about something that put him at risk.

“i wouldn’t have told anyone.”

“i know you wouldn’t.”

but merlin’s mother didn’t believe that, or she wouldn’t listen to him when he tried to tell her, and she shipped him off to camelot anyway, despite the fact that camelot is arguably more dangerous for merlin than ealdor ever was.

the web of how this played out is such a tangled mess.  is it my fault, thinks will, before the episode even starts, desperately trying to figure out why merlin would abandon him like that.  it’s my fault, thinks merlin, at the end, knowing that if he had used his magic sooner, or come back alone, events would have unfolded differently.  it’s my fault, thinks hunith, realizing that the particular fear upon which she based merlin’s entire departure was utterly unfounded.

merlin doesn’t blame her for it, even though he has reason enough to be angry about it, by the end of this episode.  he understands that she was just trying to protect him.  but the truth of the matter is that she did make a mistake.  she was afraid for him, and she saw danger everywhere, and so she made a misjudgment.  

it’s the miniest of mini-arcs, but it’s there.  at the end of this episode, right after will drops the Big Damn Lie, merlin looks desperately around for the only other person in the room who understands, and the camera rests on hunith’s face for one lingering moment, as she realizes what’s happening.  when she’s exiting the house, there’s a shot where she pauses for a minute on her way out the door, staring back at her son's dying friend, who just offered himself up as a willing sacrifice to keep merlin’s secret safe.  

she and merlin are the only people in the room who understand the real import of that moment, the real meaning of that gesture.  they’re the only ones who know what’s happening, what it really means for will to say “i did it.”

hunith knows she misjudged that kid big-time.

viii. you can be my ride or die

so.  will.

why am i even interested in him?  what is it about this character that makes me want to write about him?

number one: i love him because he’s the only person we ever meet who cares exclusively about merlin.  

everyone else merlin has met up until this point is either a) as beholden to camelot and arthur as merlin is himself, or b) aware of merlin’s “destiny,” which isn’t necessarily a bad thing but does change the way people talk to him and treat him.  

it’s not that merlin doesn’t have people who care about him, but those relationships are not the same as the one he has with will.  merlin is obviously #1 in his mom’s life, of course - but, importantly, even hunith’s immediate reaction to merlin’s uncertainty at the end of 1.10 is to tell him that he has to go back to camelot, that arthur needs him, that he’s “the other side of a coin.”  this despite the fact that hunith has known arthur for all of five minutes and that merlin, in the moment where she talks to him, is in a lot of pain, and maybe it isn’t the most appropriate moment say, ‘hey, you absolutely must devote yourself to that guy i literally just watched lecture you about the evils of magic while attending your (supposedly magical) dead best friend’s funeral.’  

and when it comes to merlin’s camelot network, well - he’s #1 in gaius’s life, too, but gaius also is deeply concerned with the greater good, with the future emergence of albion, with what merlin is meant to become and do.  morgana and arthur - well, they don’t know merlin, first of all (really know him, all of him, the important bits) - they definitely like him well enough, and care about him in their way, but ultimately they’re royalty or pseudo-royalty and they have priorities that go beyond merlin, who, at the end of the day, is still a servant.  gwen comes the closest to being on merlin’s level, but she doesn’t know him-know him either, and as time goes on she gets more involved with the Crown, with arthur, and with the responsibilities all of that brings.  even merlin’s later friends all go on to have other missions - they absolutely all love him, but they all become knights, and they are as concerned about the well-being of the realm and the king as merlin is.  even merlin HIMSELF puts arthur’s life ahead of his own - he defines his worth by how well he can protect his prince.  

but will is the only person we ever meet who just cares about merlin - merlin the regular person, not the servant he pretends to be, or the legend he’s supposed to become.  not the fake, non-magical merlin facade (which is what almost everyone else needs merlin to be before they can condescend to be his friend) and not some destiny-laden figure out of prophecy, either.  will doesn’t know anything about destiny or prophecies.  he’s never needed to know about any of that stuff to care.  he’s always liked merlin.  just merlin.  just as he is.  

that matters.  all merlin ever does in this show is deny himself or be denied of the things every regular human being needs to thrive - love, acceptance, truth, safety.  he constantly puts or is forced to put other priorities ahead of his own interests, to a point where now, by season five, he’s spent years defending a regime that oppresses him, protecting kings who would execute him.  

will, in a display of true-to-character contrariness, upsets that entire narrative, because he does not care one whit about any of the things for which merlin is supposed to sacrifice his life.  will gives less than zero (count them: negative zero) fucks about arthur pendragon, and he doesn’t care about camelot, and he wouldn’t know what “albion” meant if he heard the word.  and it is refreshing - a blessed, beautiful, heartbreaking relief - to see one person in the world who only cares about merlin, for whom arthur pendragon, in comparison with merlin, isn’t the slightest bit important.  arthur isn’t even on the map.  he’s a non-entity.  he doesn’t exist.  

it’s a complete inversion of the way things are supposed to go, in this story.  you know how it goes - arthur is the once and future king, and merlin’s job is to usher in his reign.  "maybe that is its purpose,” gaius says, about merlin’s magic being meant to protect arthur, about merlin being born this way for that particular reason.  it’s merlin’s job to save arthur’s life.  it’s merlin’s job to teach arthur to be a better person, at his own expense.  it’s all for arthur.  i give my life for arthur’s.  his life is worth a hundred of mine.  what is the life of a servant compared with that of a prince?

will delivers the biggest fuck-you to that entire framework, because he doesn’t assess merlin’s worth based on what merlin can do for some random prince on the other side of the border.  merlin’s magic wasn’t purposed for anything, as far as will is concerned.  it doesn’t need to justify itself.  it just is.  it’s just who merlin is.  

and who merlin is has always been just fine.

ix. am i the only one wondering who the hell this is

for will, it’s people like arthur who need to justify themselves.  arthur with all of his power, arthur riding into little villages with his sword drawn, arthur and his bossing around and his “now, merlin!” conversation-interrupting.  will makes no allowances for wealth and couldn’t be less interested in royalty - his frame of reference isn’t you’re the once and future king and merlin exists to prop you up; it’s who the hell are you?  what gives you the right to be here?  what did you do to earn what you have?  

will, like gwaine after him, is acutely aware of the injustice of the reigning social system, and he’s not afraid to throw it in arthur’s face.  he knows that people like himself and merlin and all of their neighbors are unjustly disadvantaged from birth until death, and he knows they’re disadvantaged solely because the people at the top of the social chain are greedy lords who sow no seed but reap all the grain, who do no work but enjoy the greatest rewards, who steal from the people with impunity and call it divine entitlement.  will knows that he and merlin and all of their neighbors are considered no better than plow-beasts or war-fodder, and he knows that there is absolutely nothing they can do to stop the nobility from either taxing them into starvation or sending them off to die in a ditch - which makes him impossibly angry, and, unlike everybody else in his village, he’s not shy about saying so.

will is, at this point, literally the first non-villain to look at arthur and not immediately see some messianic pinnacle of human greatness - which is refreshing, to be honest, and fair enough besides!  he’s evaluating arthur from merlin’s side of things, after all, which nobody - including merlin - ever does, and while i love arthur as much as anybody - for the people’s hero that he could be, and for what he is, sometimes, if not frequently enough - the truth is that he’s not good for all of his people, not yet, and he’s not good for merlin, not the way things stand right now.  

will knows that.  he looks at arthur and sees a guy with a lot of power, who also happens to rule over the the least magic-friendly place in the five kingdoms, to whom merlin needs to lie in order to avoid the executioner’s block, and he sees merlin deluding himself into thinking that this supremely unequal, extremely unsafe situation counts as friendship.  

now, is will’s assessment of the situation a snap judgment based on personal encounters with an unjust social system and very limited knowledge of arthur as a person?  yes, definitely.  are there nuances to merlin and arthur’s relationship that he’s missing?  absolutely.

is he wrong?

not really.  and merlin knows it.

x. friends don’t lord it over one another!

i think about that line every damn episode.

over and over again, it comes back to me.  i hear it every time arthur gets On His Shit and invokes power he pretends not to have, every time i see more evidence of how this supposed “friendship” between him and merlin is inherently imbalanced.  it’s my favorite thing will says in all of 1.10, because it is so true and yet, most of the time, so unacknowledged as a dynamic.

we’re meant to love arthur and merlin together, and we do - i do; i do; when i see those moments that approach true mutual respect and care between them i am as swept up by the potential beauty of this friendship as anyone - but i still think about this line all the time.  it’s not right, the power dynamic between the two of them.  it’s not just about servants vs. royalty, though of course that’s a structural part of how it plays out.  it’s about the fact that, in a real friendship, one person can’t just whip out “you ever say anything like that again, and i swear you’ll join her in exile forever” to shut down a conversation and cow you into silence.  one person can’t just throw you in jail to spend a night “cooling off,” and they definitely can’t arrest you whenever someone levels a random accusation at you.  in a real friendship, it’s not one person who has all the power.  

but when it comes to arthur and merlin, that’s exactly what happens.  arthur gets to decide when he and merlin are and aren’t friends.  arthur gets to call merlin in or send him away.  arthur gets to make all the decisions about when to listen, when to ignore, when to trust, when to believe.  merlin can nudge, encourage, suggest, even defy, but ultimately, when you get right down to it, arthur is the king, and merlin is his servant, a dynamic which is compounded by the deadly particulars of merlin’s situation.  the relationship isn’t unequal solely because of a difference in social class, it’s unequal because arthur literally has the power of life and death over merlin.  arthur could (and would, as far as merlin knows) have merlin executed any day of the week, if he found out who merlin really was.  

that’s why when merlin tries to tell will that arthur is his friend, will snaps, “friends don’t lord it over one another!”  it’s not that you can’t care about someone who has more power than you, and it’s not that you can’t have some kind of relationship with them, but it is not real friendship if you think your “friend” will kill you when they find out who you really are.  it is not a real friendship if you have to pretend to be someone you’re not in order to preserve the relationship.  real friends don’t leverage impossible amounts of power to shut you up when you say something they don’t want to hear.  real friends don’t say things like “you’ll be a friend for life if you do [x thing]” to convince you to lie to their dad while they go out with a girl and thus get you clapped in the stocks three times in a row, and then turn around and show their appreciation by letting people raid and ransack your house multiple times, throwing you in jail at least twice, accusing (and once nearly executing!) your loyal long-serving mentor more than once - among innumerable other issues.  real friends aren’t “you’re my friend when i need you to be, but not when it’s inconvenient.”  they don’t have the kind of power to turn things on and off whenever they want.

i love that will is the only person who ever acknowledges this, across five seasons of this show.  i love that he spits it out immediately, without hesitation, the minute merlin tries to makes things sound better than they are.  i love that he says it unapologetically, to merlin’s face, because he says it for merlin’s sake, after all - the point of saying ‘friends don’t lord it over one another’ is to say ‘that guy doesn’t appreciate you the way you appreciate him/this isn’t reciprocal and he’s taking advantage of you/this isn’t the friendship you want it to be and i don’t like seeing you settle for this.’  will is that friend who watches you interact with someone and then later gets in your business like ‘EXCUSE ME!  I DO NOT LIKE HOW HE TALKS TO YOU!  I DON’T LIKE HOW HE TREATS YOU!'

will knows that merlin deserves better than arthur pendragon, even when merlin himself won’t concede that point.  merlin won’t advocate for himself, so will tries to do it for him.  merlin can try to convince himself that arthur is a real friend all he wants, but will knows what’s up.  he knows.  he knows where this is going, if merlin’s relationship with arthur is allowed to continue on exactly as-is.  will knows, from the very beginning, that this is a recipe for disaster.  

[addendum 2020: speaking from a post season-5 perspective...will understood where merlin and arthur were headed long before even we the audience did.]

xi. friends don’t lord it over one another [reprise]

you know what real friends do do for each other, though?

a) listen - even when they don’t like what the other person is saying

b) care - even when they’re angry

that’s it.  that’s what matters.  

we don’t need more than an hour of watching will and merlin onscreen together to see that this is how they interact with each other.  they’re arguing for most of this episode, and they’re both right, in different ways, but by the time they’ve had it out with one another, they both understand where their own arguments were wrong, too.  they listen to each other despite the fact that they’re angry, and despite the fact that they both have very strong feelings about their respective positions.  they care enough about each other to look past their personal injuries and accept where the other person is coming from.

merlin starts off this episode absolutely dead-set against using his magic to help ealdor, if there’s any chance arthur could find out about it.  but later, before he and will have even officially reconciled onscreen, we can already see that he’s been listening to what will’s been saying, that he’s come around to will’s way of thinking, because he tells his mother “if it comes down to a choice between revealing who i truly am and saving lives - that’s no choice at all,” hearkening back to will’s “are you telling me you’d rather keep your magic a secret for arthur’s sake than use it to protect your friends and family?”  and: “if arthur doesn’t accept me for who i am...well...then he’s not the friend i hoped he was” (you’re arthur’s servant, nothing more.  otherwise you’d tell him the truth.)  

merlin has been listening the whole time, even if he didn’t like what will was saying.

and the same goes for will, too.  he’s (understandably!) bitter about merlin’s situation, about the way merlin left, about the new life merlin built for himself while will was suffering in a confused limbo of abandonment at home - and will also obviously thinks the Farmers’ Resistance is a total disaster, a noble-spun farce that’s going to get good people killed - but even though he doesn’t trust the camelot contingent and couldn’t give fewer shits about prince arthur pendragon specifically, he trusts merlin.  he listens to merlin, even though they’ve been fighting.  he comes back because merlin keeps telling him it’s the right thing to do.

they both listen, even when it seems like they’re just arguing with each other.  and they both acknowledge where the other person was right, even when it means making themselves vulnerable.  will comes back to help his neighbors fight a battle against hopeless odds.  merlin exposes his magic to save people’s lives.  

they teach each other how to do the right thing.  they make each other brave.

xii. you just saved my life

let’s talk about being brave, then.

this kid jumps in front of a crossbow for a guy he doesn’t even like.

can we be clear about that?  will doesn’t even LIKE arthur.  he doesn’t particularly care about him.  he doesn’t accept him as the noble savior of all mankind.  he isn’t interested in defending the nobility, and he certainly hasn’t jumped on the camelot bandwagon.  just because he’s seen that arthur wasn’t planning on sending them all to their deaths without risking his own neck doesn’t mean will is suddenly going to start flying the pendragon crest from atop his house.

but he isn’t going to step back and let a coward shoot another man in the back, either.

arthur’s still a prince, yeah.  arthur’s still sitting at the tip-top of an unjust social system, benefitting from all kinds of privileges he didn’t earn.  arthur’s still a crappy friend to merlin.  heck, two seconds before that crossbow gets fired, arthur’s gone full-on inquisition-mode, interrogating merlin about sorcery, which, given that arthur can just go ahead and have merlin executed with a snap of his fingers, isn’t a great way to earn will’s respect or trust.  

but you know what?  when it comes down to it, will’s automatic, reflexive reaction upon seeing someone in immediate danger is to Get In The Way.  

it doesn’t matter that will doesn’t like arthur.  it doesn’t even matter that he actively dislikes arthur.  will doesn’t even think about it, he just moves.  instinctively.  automatically.  he isn’t going to let anyone standing right in front of him get murdered with their back turned, no matter how much he can’t stand them.  

let’s all take a second to remember and acknowledge something in arthur’s stead, since i’m not sure arthur will do it himself - arthur pendragon would have been dead right there if it weren’t for a dirt-poor peasant farmer from cenred’s kingdom who never had anything nice to say to a prince but still stepped between a pendragon and a crossbow in the name of doing the right thing.  without will, the story would have ended in season 1, episode 10.  albion itself owes its future existence to a young man with no surname who will never be acknowledged or recognized for anything he did, not for teaching the future king a lesson in humility, not for saving the prince’s life, and certainly not for the greatest and most noble move he ever made, because that gesture’s success is predicated upon its remaining a secret.  

this kid saves the entire World That Will Be.  the show would have ended before it ever really began, if not for our man prince william of ealdor.  

merlin knows that, and merlin never forgets it.  but i’m not so sure about everyone else.

xiii. yeah, don’t know what i was thinking

let’s talk about defiance.

this kid is dying, and he’s still full of piss and vinegar.  when arthur says, wide-eyed, “you’re a sorcerer,” will responds, “yeah.  what are you going to do, kill me?”  

what a power move.  what a thing to say.  

that’s not a question.  that is a no-fucks-given, shame-and-blame challenge.  

what are you going to do, kill me?  

merlin uses those exact same words during his confrontation with morgana in 3.02.  when he’s trapped - when he’s cornered and betrayed and angry - he reaches for the kind of defiance he once saw exercised on his own behalf, for a shameless bravery that burned itself into his brain.  for the kind of strength he wants to channel himself.

when it comes to holding your ground in front of the pendragon dynasty, merlin learned from the best.

xiv. and i’m prince william, of ealdor

let’s talk about names.

william: from wil (will or determination) and helm (protection, a helm)

hence the common translation of resolute protector.

which, given the events of 1.10, seems very fitting.

xv. i did it

let’s talk about lies.

because resolute protector rings even more powerfully true when it comes to merlin than it does for arthur.

at the time of this writing, i have four more episodes to watch before i’m done with season 5.  at this point, at the end of the show, merlin’s magic is still a secret.  merlin’s gotten involved in a lot of dangerous situations, risking his life in other ways, but the one danger he’s never had to really confront is the executioner’s block, because none of the pendragons know his secret.

and the reason none of the pendragons know his secret is thanks to our boy prince william of ealdor, who turns his own untimely death into a last-second rescue operation by telling the Biggest Damn Lie of his life and then doubling down on it when merlin tries to tell him no.

will is the one who secures merlin’s next five years of relative safety.  not from all of life’s dangers, of course; no one can do that - but when it comes to merlin’s greatest fear, the worst outcome, the prospect of being dragged out of his home in chains and murdered in front of an ogling crowd for just existing - will buys merlin’s escape from that fate with his life.  merlin remains hidden and unexposed to this very day because will died protecting his secret, because will lied to the prince of magic-hunting and invited upon himself all of the risk and scorn and danger and condemnation that a false confession like that entailed.

i honestly don’t know how to express clearly enough the enormity of that moment.  the momentousness of that gesture.  i called it a bold and tremendous lie in some other post somewhere, and i don’t know how else to capture what it was.  the thought of what it would mean, to be merlin, and to see someone throw themselves on the block for your sake, for your safety and your future and your freedom, when the rest of the world and every message you’ve ever absorbed says you don’t deserve to be safe, you don’t deserve to be free, you don’t deserve to exist.  

it is impossible to overstate how much that matters.  merlin carries that with him for the rest of his life.

xvi: i can’t fight you anymore (it’s you i’m fighting for)

let’s talk about love, okay?

this ep is called the moment of truth, right?  

so here are some truths about will.  in the time that we spend with him, we come to understand that he is the following:

a poor peasant kid with nothing to his name

a kid whose father is dead  

a kid whose mother is either dead or absent

a kid who “people are used to ignoring”

a kid who’s been making his own way through this backbreaking subsistence-farmer’s life with no grown-ups to hold him or help him or listen to him when he comes home at night

a kid who isn’t trusted to protect merlin’s secret, even by merlin’s own mother, whom will has known for his entire life

a kid whose only friend in the world fucked off to the country next door without a hint of warning or any indication that it was something that should matter to either one of them, making will think he misread the only meaningful relationship he’s ever had, because if merlin can just vanish to nowhere and not even bother to send a note, then either merlin wasn’t actually his friend to begin with or merlin was his friend at one time but doesn’t want to be anymore, both of which options are soul-crushing

a closed-off, heavily-armored, hurting kid who’s been unspeakably lonely for the past few months but also angry and ashamed at himself for feeling that way, because how stupid did he have to be, to think that he mattered to someone, that someone would ever want him or love him or need him or miss him, to think that this time would be different, that this time somebody wouldn’t leave him -

and even in this state - even in the midst of all this -

at the moment of truth, he still puts himself on the chopping block.  he still says, “you’ll have to go through me.”

he comes through for merlin.  of course he does.  the irony is bitter and beautiful - hunith sent merlin away precisely because she didn’t trust that merlin would be safe with will knowing about his magic, but in the end it’s will who gives up everything to keep merlin’s secret concealed.

not just to keep it concealed, even - to reverse merlin being outed.  merlin had already been exposed.  the deed was done!  the magic was seen!  it was all over - and then, miraculously, it wasn’t.  what will did was the only way merlin could ever have slipped safely back under the cover of secrecy.

will didn’t have to do that.  he didn’t have to lie about performing magic, and he didn’t have to save arthur, either.  it would have been better for will to let arthur die, in fact, and it would have been better for him to let merlin get caught, too, because ‘maybe then merlin would have to stay here with me’ - but will is so much better than petty revenge.  he’s so much better than anybody ever gives him credit for, merlin excepted.  

the fight will has with merlin doesn’t matter to him, in the end.  it was a complicated situation for both of them; will knows this.  if he weren’t dying now, he and merlin would have talked it out and made up - will knows that, too.  things could have gone a little smoother between them, maybe, and will still thinks going back to camelot is less than what merlin deserves, but it’s what merlin wants, and the mark of truly loving someone is when you want the best for them, even if it means you don’t get what you want for yourself.  so ultimately, when it comes down to it, the truth for will is this: he wants merlin to have a good life.  he wants merlin to be safe.  he wants merlin to be happy.  he wants merlin to be with him, too, but if he can’t have that, it’s no reason to withhold any of the other gifts he can bestow.  if one of those gifts is freedom, if one of those gifts is safety - it’s no choice at all.  

merlin is will’s one good thing.  merlin deserves everything will can give him, as far as will is concerned.

xvii. the only place worth being

this place has been boring without you.

what a thing to tell someone.

what a powerful thing to say to someone whose entire life up to this point has been a litany of ‘there’s something wrong with you,’ ‘you don’t belong here,’ ‘you’re cursed/broken/wrong/unnatural.’  what a dauntlessly loving thing to tell someone whose entire life has been the message ‘people like you deserve to die,’ over and over and over again.

what a singularly beautiful thing it is, for someone like merlin to hear ‘you are what makes this place worth living in.’

xviii: the only one worth seeing

likewise it’s good to see you again.

because it’s not just “it’s good to see you again;” it’s an acknowledgement that merlin is the last person will is ever going to see.  

and will is like, okay.

he’d rather be alive, yeah, but if he had choose - it’s good that it’s you.

xix: the only bed worth sleeping in (is the one right next to you)

the most devastating moment in this sequence, for me, is at the very end, when will confesses fear.

it doesn’t happen until everything else has been taken care of.  arthur’s been fooled, merlin’s been safely shuffled back under the cover of secrecy, everybody’s been taken in by the ruse and sent away, none the wiser  - all the necessary and important business has been dealt with.

only at the very, very end does will’s own predicament rear its ugly head.  only after everything else is done does he even allow himself to feel it.  he’s spent the rest of this sequence making jokes and roasting arthur and keeping it all together, but at the last second, when he falters, he comes undone for the only person he trusts, the only person who understands him, the only person in the world who gives a damn about him.  his defenses come down, in that last moment, for merlin - and it could ONLY be for merlin - when will says, “merlin, i’m scared.”

we don’t need anything else, to understand their relationship.  we’ve seen enough of will by now to recognize that he keeps the world at arm’s length, that even his walls have walls, that this is just not the sort of thing he would ever admit to.  confessions of pain?  acknowledging vulnerability?  never.  he’s not that kind of character.  we know he has a big heart - look at what he’s doing - but we also know he’s had a hard life.  he’s wrapped himself in layers upon layers of protection - snark and anger and deflection and sarcasm and still making jokes at the prince’s expense after being shot in the chest - nobody is allowed to see him open and undefended, never.

except merlin.

will is dying.  he is so young.  he has been so alone, for so much of his life, and he’s so young, and he’s dying.  he clutches for this lifeline like it’s the only thing he has, because it is the only thing he has - merlin is his only friend.  merlin is the person will loves best in the whole world.

merlin, i’m scared.

that is so unbelievably vulnerable.  that is so utterly naked.  that is totally defenseless, exposed, belly-up and barethroated under someone else’s burning gaze.

that is absolute trust.  will would never have said that in front of anyone else.  he would never have allowed anyone else to see him like that.

his confession is, like pretty much everything else he ever does, for merlin alone.

xx. your heart is on my sleeve

merlin, will keeps repeating.  merlin.

how much do you have to love someone, to make their name your last words?  how much do you have to care about someone, for that to be the only thing you can think to say, again and again, in your last terrified moments on this earth?

that’s a rhetorical question.  

i know how much.

xxi: i missed you too

i think, sometimes, about will, when i watch the later seasons of merlin, and about how he would feel if he could see what merlin’s life has turned into.

i sometimes wonder how he would feel, if he could see how merlin allows himself to be passed over, disbelieved, disrespected.  if he could see how merlin has started to define his worth in terms of how well he is able to protect Some Dude who doesn’t even know who merlin is, who keeps people like merlin trapped in the shadows of subjugation, hidden citizens in their own kingdom.  if will could see how merlin has laid his entire life down for other people’s enrichment, if he could see how little hope merlin now holds for his own happiness, if he could see the way merlin in S5 has given up on his own liberation -  

i don’t have to guess what will would say about it.  i know how he would feel.  if will could see merlin in season 5, his raging little heart would break.

i wish he were here to tell merlin exactly what he thought about it.  merlin does all this self-sacrificing for the sake of his “destiny”; whereas will would think that any destiny making merlin this miserable was a steaming pile of trash.  will would tell kilgharrah to get lost, and to take his questionable advice with him.  will would tell arthur to fuck off - he’s done it already, in slightly less explicit terms.  

does that mean i truly think merlin is supposed to abandon his mission and ditch camelot and run off to live his own life?  no.  merlin cares too much about making the world a better place to be truly happy with that kind of existence; he wants to change things for the common good; he wants to help the people he cares about.  but merlin, as he tries to fulfill his mission, is desperately missing will’s kind of support in his life.  merlin needs someone who is only here for him.  he needs someone who is going to get up in his face and remind him, “you matter.”  he needs someone to tell him, “you deserve better than this.”  he needs someone who isn’t afraid to tell destiny to fuck off, when telling destiny to fuck off is in merlin’s best interests.

merlin needs someone who is on his side.  

not camelot’s side.  not albion’s side.  not arthur’s side.  

HIS side.  merlin’s side.

xxii: he still is

the thing about will, then, for me, is this: i can’t minimize him.

i can’t do it.  i can’t diminish that part of merlin’s life.  

i don’t think it’s possible to overestimate his importance, frankly.  merlin, when we meet him, has only ever had two people in his life.  that is such an...unfathomable experience, for many of us.  just two people.  just two people to know you.  just two people to love you.  just two people, for your whole life.

will wasn’t just some friend.  will was half of merlin’s world.

fannish pursuits that i have seen...the things where will appears are already so limited, and of course that’s completely understandable - it’s not like he’s a main character, or even a side character, by any means; i totally get that.  but - so much of what i see is him serving solely as a set-up for merlin/arthur, or otherwise being shoved out of the way as soon as arthur shows up on the scene, or showing up only to be a receptacle for discussion about arthur and merlin’s developing relationship - even will and merlin’s own ship tag is 90% merlin/arthur fics.

and there’s nothing wrong with this, ultimately; everybody should continue to write exactly what they want and enjoy exactly what they want; that’s the fun of fandom.  i mention these things here only because for me, personally, the whole point of will’s character is that merlin’s life is bigger than just arthur.  the most important relationship merlin had for most of his life had zip-zero-nothing to do with arthur pendragon, and it still has zip-zero-nothing to do with arthur pendragon, after will is dead.  

you remember will’s funeral at the end of 1.10?  arthur has an entire conversation (a horrible one, fyi) with merlin, and merlin doesn’t look at him once.  he answers arthur’s questions because he has to, but his eyes never once leave the pyre in front of him - not while he’s listening, not while he’s talking, not once.  not ever.  arthur comes, arthur chastises, and arthur goes, all without being granted so much as a glance, because this isn’t about him.  this is none of his business.

the whole point of will is that it is possible for someone to love merlin and not give a tinker’s cuss about arthur pendragon.  the whole point of will is that having someone love merlin without caring about arthur pendragon is, in fact, a good thing.  merlin needs somebody like that in his life.  he struggles when he doesn’t have someone like this around to advocate for him.  just look at where he is in season 5 - look at what his life has become, when it’s been years since he had an in-the-know friend.

merlin suffers when he loses this kind of support.  it’s easy to say that will is never mentioned again after 1.10, but there are real reasons why merlin wouldn’t be willing to explicitly mention him, and the lack of explicit references doesn’t mean we can’t still see him, if we pay attention.  we see the immediate impact of his death in merlin’s attitude shift in 1.11.  we see him in 2.02, when merlin names his fake tournament knight sir william and spends the rest of the episode roasting arthur to within an inch of his life.  we see him in the season 3 opener, when morgana levels her sword at merlin and the first thing that pops out of merlin’s mouth is “what are you going to do, kill me?”  we see him in gwaine’s intro episode, when merlin immediately cleaves to this class-conscious ‘people get sick of me too quickly’ stranger whose father was killed fighting one of the king’s wars.  and his absence is felt, more generally (as is lancelot’s) in how quickly merlin’s life starts to spiral out of control once the only two honest friends he ever had are gone.  their loss doesn’t have to be explicitly referenced for us to understand that merlin, without that kind of support system, is faltering.  we see it happening with our own eyes.

[edit, post-viewing-of-S5-finale: and we see where it eventually leads, too.]  

so, once again, as i said - i can’t minimize this character.  i can’t overstate the positive impact of merlin having somebody who was here for him and only him, who affirmed merlin’s value independently of arthur pendragon’s fate, who knew and loved merlin without caring about a “destiny” that ultimately, in the end, turned out to be a cruel joke made at merlin’s expense.  

if will had lived, i’m not sure we would have ended up in quite so dark a place.  we might have landed in some other tight spot, sure, but i can tell you one thing for certain - will would not have sat quietly by and allowed merlin to throw his life away, not for camelot, not for arthur, and certainly not for a parade of empty promises.

xxiii: where you are, there i’ll be

the bottom line is this.

merlin spent the first two decades of his life with one friend.

one.  

loved by one friend.  

one.

merlin had his mother, who was there for him from the beginning, whose love was unconditional, who was an “of course.”

and he had will, who chose merlin, who kept choosing merlin even after merlin told him the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Secret.  will’s presence in merlin’s life is the only reason merlin grows up believing himself to be deserving of love from people who aren’t his own mother.  his presence in merlin’s life is the only reason merlin knows how to have and be a friend.  his presence in merlin’s life is the only reason merlin is who he is - a merlin who’d spent his entire life without a single friend would not have been the same confident, optimistic, gregarious person who later walked into camelot and told arthur pendragon, “i’d never have a friend who could be such an ass.”

will mattered.  we don’t talk about him much, because he only appeared in one episode, but it wasn’t “one episode” for merlin; it was closer to twenty years of companionship, of elbows in ribcages and smirks exchanged across the room and someone to natter on at, a person to sit next to and walk beside, in every season and all sorts of weather.

will chose merlin, and he kept right on choosing him, until he breathed his very last breath.  that is enough for me to love him, to feel grateful that he existed.  i don’t care how rough he is around the edges.  i don’t care that he hates arthur pendragon’s guts, that he has a big mouth, that he speaks out of turn, that he has no tact, that he can’t suffer fools, that he has a chip on his shoulder the size of a minor planetoid and wings it at people’s heads when the mood is on him.

he loved merlin.  actual, magical merlin; merlin as he truly is, merlin in all his gifted, unnatural, beautiful imperfection.  

that is a desperately rare thing.  that is worth celebrating.

[junker-town]

Shohei Ohtani is pretty good, Andrew McCutchen is a delight, and Tim Tebow is in this headline for SEO purposes

Welcome to Monday, baseball fans. Here’s some baseball.

Can you follow everything that happens in baseball every week? Man, I sure can’t. So every week, I dig back through the archives and tweets and videos and recaps and look for interesting baseball things to share with you on Monday. The best part is that I’ll miss a whole bunch, which is definitely a feature, not a bug. It wouldn’t be baseball if a week’s worth of action could be explained in a few hundred words.

But there are some baseball things that are impossible to miss. Here, then, are those baseball things. While the categories and sections will rotate from week to week, the first one will be an absolute constant. This first section will always posit that ...

Baseball is good, actually

Baseball friends, I promise you that this section will not be a secret way of sneaking Giants-related content into this weekly recap. There were not a lot of times that I watched the Giants last year and thought, “Yes, baseball is good, actually.”

While I’m anticipating a much better season, it’s likely that they are the sixth- or seventh-best team in the National League if everything goes right. This section almost certainly will not feature the Giants very often.

But, sweet Njörðr, look at this at-bat from Andrew McCutchen in the bottom of the 14th inning:

I’ve been hard on MLB Advanced Media in the past because of how they’ve intentionally limited how some of their videos can be shared. Looking for something older than two years ago can be a nightmare. Basically, they never think about me, the baseball writer who needs to lazily embed something whenever he needs it.

But this video is exactly what you need to understand that baseball is good, actually. Someone in charge took this entire 12-pitch at-bat and presented it unedited, allowing you to drink in the mounting tension and expectations, and it was a brilliant decision. It’s not just that McCutchen hit a walk-off home run in the bottom of the 14th; it’s that he directed the whole thing like Kubrick, piece by piece, setting up the reveal at the end.

I’m a sucker for a lot of baseball things, but I’m really a sucker for two very specific baseball things:

Andrew McCutchen

At-bats where the hitter keeps fouling pitches off again and again and again and again and again

This at-bat had it all, really. It started with a muffed strike call, and it quickly went against McCutchen after Wilmer Font fuzzed him with a wicked fastball running in on his hands. If he popped up the next pitch, nobody would have blamed him. Instead, he turned into a living Rocky IV montage, fouling pitches off again and again and ...

One thing that I love about baseball is the idea that all of those foul balls are examples of the hitter failing. Font’s job was to make the hitter not do what he wanted with the ball. McCutchen’s job was to hit the ball somewhere where it couldn’t be caught. Framed like that, Font won. He got McCutchen to do something he wasn’t trying to do.

Instead, it ended with McCutchen hitting a dinger and reacting with a broken water main of emotion that had been building pressure since the first pitch. It was mostly perfect.

And maybe — maybe — the fact that it was against the Dodgers in the 14th inning will color my judgment just a little bit. But I’d like to think that if McCutchen were on the Twins, and he did this against the Rays, it would be just as notable.

Because look at that museum-quality at-bat. Carve pictographs of that at-bat into the side of an interstellar probe and let alien civilizations learn about baseball.

What Shohei Did

Well, this section sure feels a lot different this week.

Last week, it was still okay to be cautiously optimistic about Shohei Ohtani. He had one quality start under his belt, albeit with a ton of strikeouts. He was 1-for-5. This all came after a rough spring. So you’ll forgive me if prudence was the better part of valor in this case.

And then Ohtani started firing lighting bolts out of his eyes and demanding our fealty. Yes, yes, we cried. We are yours to do with as you wish. We’re so sorry, Shohei. How could we have been so blind?

The Shohei-o-meter just seven days ago was stuck on “timid,” and we spent an hour on the phone with tech support trying to get it unstuck.

Shohei-o-meter: half-Luis Castillo, half-Gregor Blanco

See, he was a wild, unproven fireballer with a .200 average, so I thought ... look, forget it. I was wrong.

Let’s update that Shohei-o-meter:

Shohei-o-meter: half-Tim Lincecum in his prime, half-Bryce Harper

THIS IS WHAT WE WERE PROMISED.

Deep breaths. Stay with me. But it’s completely okay to freak out.

This doesn’t mean that we’ll keep getting it all year. He could be half-Vince Velasquez, half-Eric Thames, where the early returns are drowned by a tidal wave of baseball being extremely hard.

Still, if you can’t get excited about this fastball-splitter combination, you hate baseball and are already googling “2019 Oscar frontrunners.” Look at this marvelous baseball player:

That is peak Tim Lincecum. I saw it. I lived it. I breathed it. He doesn’t know exactly where the ball is going, but he knows two things: The fastball goes fast and the splitter goes prrrowwwwww down into the abyss. If those two things can hold steady, he isn’t just a Rookie of the Year candidate. He’s a Cy Young candidate.

Maybe we should see him against another team that isn’t the A’s before getting nutty, but it’s worth pointing out that the Athletics are stuffed with solid hitters. It’s possible that they’re especially susceptible to splitters that go prrrowwwwww down into the abyss. All of this still might be a mirage.

Wouldn’t it be a lot cooler if it weren’t, though? Wouldn’t it be a lot cooler if he were a Cy Young candidate every year with a 900 OPS?

It would. It absolutely would.

The best part is that I don’t even have to mention the three home runs in three consecutive games to make you impressed about Shohei Ohtani. Because peak Tim Lincecum was just about the most exciting thing I’ve ever seen, so if he’s already that, he’s a baseball legend.

Ohtani hitting dinger after dinger, though, is the kind of thing that’s going to melt our hearts and follow this story wherever it goes. He’s even better than advertised right now. That’s probably not going to last, but what if it does?

John Sterling calls a famous home run throughout history

It is high! It is far! It is gone!

Sho-hei can you see? By the ball’s distant flight!

What so proudly we hailed, at that pitch’s last gleaming!

it’s so cold in here, is anyone else cold, i’m freezing, i’m not proud of this, please get me a blanket, why is it so cold

THIS WEEK IN “AW, RASPBERRIES”

Good things can happen when you put the ball in play. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#walkoff pic.twitter.com/wKJRkLrM7i

— MLB (@MLB) April 8, 2018

aw raspberries

A grown man bought this baseball card on purpose

This was $1 plus shipping, and I bought it for a couple reasons. The first is Ted Williams. The second is that Ted Williams is about to hit Mike Epstein with a bat because of his sideburns.

Is it possible that Williams had such incredible bat control that he could can hit someone with a bat and make it hurt, but not incapacitate them or cause lingering damage? Is it possible that he could hit someone with a bat just hard enough to make their sideburns fall off but cause no other injuries?

No, it is not possible. It is absolutely guaranteed. He could hit you with a bat on the back of your ankle and make you sterile for exactly eight years if you wanted. He was just that good. And if you think that’s hyperbole, look what popped up when I was looking for the above image on my computer:

When you opened that box, Ted Williams would pop out and hit you with a bat until you were temporarily sterile. And you were fine with it. This is how things were done back then.

Also, I think it’s fine and normal to have a file called “Ted Williams condoms.jpeg” on your computer and not remember that it exists. It is absolutely fine and normal.

This week in McGwire/Sosa

It’s the 20th anniversary of Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa transfixing the country with their historic chase. It’s also the 20th anniversary of:

McGwire: 21 AB, 0 HR (4 total), .333/.438/.429 Sosa: 27 AB, 1 HR (2 total), .400/.444/.600

The race is still nothing at this point. Sosa had a hot week, but he had seven singles and two doubles mixed in. McGwire was hitting like an especially focused Chone Figgins.

Later in this season, enough baseball things would happen to make someone decide to make a Mark McGwire/Sammy Sosa diecast semi-truck.

At this point in the 1998 season, though, they’re just a couple of baseball players, doing normal things. Sometimes they hit the ball, and sometimes they don’t. That’s how you play this wacky game, ha ha. No big deal.

Also, because of this stupid article, I finally bought one of those trucks on eBay. I hope you’re happy.

Let us study this baseball thing

The U.S. Olympic men’s curling team got to throw out the first pitch for the Twins’ Opening Day. That’s incredibly regional and exciting and regionally exciting. It’s also exciting for the rest of the country because, heck yeah, gold medal curlers. It’s an honor for them, and it’s an honor for us.

What could possibly go wrong?

I can't stop watching the gif of the gold medal-winning US Olympic curling team throwing out the first pitches at the Twins home opener. It's the most inspiring thing I've ever seen. I'd read an oral history about this. pic.twitter.com/7FWhRZ6wO9

— ℳatt (@matttomic) April 6, 2018

Oh, noooooooooooo.

The crowd reaction to USA men's curling team first pitches in MN yesterday pic.twitter.com/5WZarp0GNE

— That Dude (@cjzer0) April 6, 2018

nooooooooooooooo

The good news it that we get to study this baseball thing. For it started with such hope and optimism.

Anyone can throw a first pitch in a baseball game. But it takes a special person (or group of people) to get the enter-from-center-field-to-throw-a-first-pitch treatment. Gold medal winners get that treatment. The downside, though, is that expectations are incredibly unfair. This isn’t something that’s blurting out of the loudspeaker while people are finding their seats. This is something that’s supposed to be watched.

If you watch the video, at 2:17, the guy in the middle, Tyler George, turns to his teammate and says, “Ready?” He’s fired up.

EDUARDO ESCOBAR: [record scratch] Yep, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.

You can see how it’s George who screws this all up. He throws the ball first, and he almost kills Tyler Kinley, there only because of the Byzantine red tape of the Rule 5 Draft. Because Kinley has to protect his face, the second-from-left pitcher looks much worse than he otherwise might have, though it’s not like he did himself any favors. The guy on the right throws a gull-killer that almost leaves orbit, too. It’s an incredible mess.

For my money, though, I’m most impressed by the commitment of the fellow who decided to “curl” the baseball and roll it to his catcher. If they had all done this, it would have been funny! Whimsical! And I’ll bet that idea was floated, but I’ll bet George was like, oh, heck no, I get one first pitch in my life, and I’m gonna chuck it.

Because there was exactly one guy rolling the ball to home plate, though, it looked bizarre beyond words. It looked like he was screwing up almost as much as everyone else, even though he’s just doing a bit.

Please acknowledge the calm, collected first pitch of John Shuster, the captain of the medal-winning team. He’s the one on the left, and he threw a perfect pitch that absolutely no one will remember.

“What the crap was that?”, he asks. You’ll notice that there are only four curlers in this picture. That’s because George is already off screen, apologizing profusely for winning a gold medal for screwing up a first pitch.

But I saw you, John. You did well. Proud of you on several levels. Thank you for representing our country. Thank you for knowing how to throw a baseball.

This week in baseball spoonerisms

If I can be an 11th-grader giving a presentation in front of the class for a moment, according to Wikipedia, “a spoonerism is an error in speech in which corresponding consonants, vowels, or morphemes are switched between two words in a phrase.” So instead of “Joe Maddon,” for example, you would say, “Moe Jaddon” and laugh for some reason.

On baseball Twitter, they are very popular and obnoxious but also popular. Every week, I would like to share a baseball spoonerism with you.

But if I’m going to start doing this, I need to start with a bang. I can’t just give you a B-minus spoonerism that I’ve been sitting on for a couple months. I need something big.

Allow me to present ...

I think the important thing to remember is that a cat pooper isn’t a cat that poops. You wouldn’t need to single out a cat for pooping by calling it a cat pooper. They all do it. It’s their thing, man.

A cat pooper has to be, by definition, someone who consumes cats and ... well, you know.

Anyway, the important part to remember is that this section has started out incredibly stupid, and I promise you that every week is only downhill from here.

Internet Christmas for Baseball Nerds

Used to be that I would spend a lot of time digging through the bowels of the internet looking for stuff to put on on Baseball Nation under the heading of “Internet Christmas for Baseball Nerds.” It was just baseball esoterica from throughout the history of the sport, no big deal. Like this book from Johnny Evers from 100 years ago, in which he basically invented modern defensive statistics.

Anyway, this installment comes to you by way of the Library of Congress, which decided to publish a treasure trove of Branch Rickey papers. If you’re a true nerd, you’ll enjoy idly leafing through them, like me. But if you want a hot sample, I’m partial to this one:

Man.

If there’s a happy ending to this story, it’s that Joe Adcock had a 133 OPS+ over the next three seasons, even as he was older and injury-plagued.

Still, that scouting report haunts me. One day, someone will write “not desirable as a gift” about me, and they’ll be absolutely right. I’ll have earned it.

Baseball picture of the week

Stacy Revere/Getty Images

I’m not sure what happened to make Travis Shaw accost veteran umpire Biff Tannen with such venom that someone in an Old Navy hoodie had to come get him, but that’s okay. I don’t want to know. I’m satisfied with the image of an umpire living his best life in the face of a baseball player who is very, very upset for whatever reason.

BRIAN O’NORA: That’s right. Fleetwood Mac’s best album is Tusk.

TRAVIS SHAW: oy, mate, what’d you say?

I don’t think Travis Shaw is from Sunderland, but we can’t rule it out. Anyway, I’m in love with this baseball picture. Look at the disdain on O’Nora’s face! It’s absolutely withering. He does not care what Shaw has to say, and that is probably the best default position for an umpire to take.

Baseball picture of the week (runner-up)

Photo by Norm Hall/Getty Images

See, it’s not just that Yoshihisa Hirano is sharing his baseball butt with the world. It’s the Getty-supplied caption that accompanies the picture:

PHOENIX, AZ - APRIL 03: Yoshihisa Hirano #66 of the Arizona Diamondbacks delivers an eighth inning pitch against the Los Angeles Dodgers at Chase Field

[lowers sunglasses until they slide off the tip of my nose]

Man oh man, I gotta see this guy pitch.

Tim Tebow is the Shohei Ohtani of baseball players who can run a power-read option instead of pitch

First at-bat in Double-A where he probably doesn’t belong and it’s a dinger. You might be impressed by Tebow’s incredibly respectful run around the bases. For my money, though, I can’t get enough of the pitcher checking a nonexistent runner at second base twice before he throws the pitch.

Minor league baseball: where everyone is still trying to figure this crap out. Put it on a t-shirt, and send me three of them, please.

Man, this is a weird one to end on. We’re not really going to spend all season following Tim Tebow in Double-A, are we?

No. Because at some point, we’ll have to follow him in the majors.

Until next week!

[heretic-altias]

Why SSO players don't get hacked

[blog-optimisticcoffeestuden-blog]

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We are starting our own business and running it out of our house. We need to get bonded and insured, but we don't know where to start. Anyone have any suggestions?""

Car insurance groups?

Hi, im planning on buying a car, however one of them is insurance group 4 (Peugeot 306 D Turbo 1.9) and the other 14 (Alfa 147 . 1.9JTD) both 1.9 turbo diesels. why is the alfa 10 insurance groups more? :S and how much of a difference will this make to the price? i got the Peugeot down to 1107""

Good and affordable health insurance for an entry level job person?

8 live in pennsylvania, but so... U can give me details also if u live in other state. Anyway. .. i just wanna know which are goods""

Quoted insurance price?

I purchased insurance on the online weekend for my car. I paid the first monthly installment. Only to have a phone call telling me this price was wrong it was a computer error and the policy will cost a lot more. Do I have any rights here? Or must I simply front the rest of the cash to keep my car insured?

Employer health insurance?

When you have employer health insurance is there a waiting period for maturnity coverage to start?

Ow much does it cost to deliver a baby without health insurance in washington hospital california ??

Ow much does it cost to deliver a baby without health insurance in washington hospital california ??

Insurance cancellation question?

I cancelled my old insurance with Access about 2-3 weeks ago and I was told I'd be receiveing and reimburstment check back from them since the policy had only been active for about 2 months. What's to average wait time on one?

Car insurance? (please i need help)?

well im a full time college student so i can't pay for my car insurance at the moment. whats the requirements for putting myself as a second driver to my parents car? ive had one car accident and been cancelled twice in my own name to 2 different car insurance. (family member passed away and i had to use the cash to go abroad) anyways.. will that effect me to putting me as a second driver to my parents car?? .. (with their name on the car) i mean.. my parents will pay for me so i dont see the problem for me getting rejected by the insurance for my prior non payment cancelation. please and thanks for answering..

Canceling Geico car insurance?

I've had Geico insurance on my car for the past year and I've found a much better rate elsewhere and plan to switch. I'm in Virginia. How do I go about canceling with Geico? Do I have to wait until a certain time (end of 6mos, etc) or can I do it at any time? Is there a cancellation fee? Thanks!""

Monthly insurance for a Mustang?

I'm a 17 year old male and was wondering what the monthly insurance would be on a mustang? And if you know if a certain years model is the cheapest post that to please?

Dental insurance Help. Dont have insurance. 21 yrs old?

Hello, im 21 and from California. My question is about dental insurance if anyone could give me some helpful Information. I don't have dental insurance and have no idea how to go about getting it. I currently have a few cavity's and a crown that needs to be done. Im not sure how that could affect me getting insurance? Also how much is dental insurance.. a range? Any info you can give me on how to start looking for an insurance would be great..THANKS!!""

Will insurance still able to view my previous ticket record and raise my car insurance?

I got a ticket in April of 2004. I paid the fine and went to traffic school. Just two days ago, i got a ticket for speeding (48 at a 35 limit). 1) will I still able to go to traffic school for this ticket? (I'm in CA, my friend told me we are allowed to take traffic school if it's over 18 months since the last citation, is this correct)? 2) i read some yahoo answer on car insurance and someone is saying the insurance company will still able to view the previous citation and raise the car insurance if we get the second citation within 3 years of the 1st one. the point will be unmasked for insurance company to see. is this true? 3) if it is true, does that mean even if i'm able to go to traffic school for my second citation, the insurance company can still raise car insurance for my 1st citation?""

What is the cheapest auto insurance company for drivers under 21?

I need some help finding a cheap car insurance company in virginia... Let me know what was the cheapest one in your experience Thanks!

Will I be covered under my moms car insurance?

Alright I am 18 and I live with my mom. My car recently stalled out and there is something wrong with the engine. So my mom has AAA auto insurance, and I am covered by state farm which is my dads insurance. We are in California, and I wanted to know if I would be covered if I were to drive my moms car until mine is fixed. I know that if you live in the same household that you wouldnt be covered, but my insurance has my dads address under it. So do you think I would be covered?""

Lower car insurance?

I was wondering where i could find a class to take driving lessons to lower my car insurance and if that is even possible??

Affordable Health Insurance?

I was in a pedestrian accident earlier this year. The case has since been settled and I was awarded $25,000. That was the maximum insurance the driver had, after lawyer fees, etc., etc., I didn't end up with much. I am unable to work and have no health insurance. My back is still scarred. Everyday, all the time it aches. I stopped treating with the chiropractor because he was making me feel worst the entire 2 months I treated. I need prescriptions and medical attention period! I have about $4,000 left, but I am unemployed and do not want to continuously dip into my savings. Since my lawyer has been paid, I seem to be of least concern.""

Can i get a motorcycle insurance without having a license?

Or how else am i going to take the bike for the skills test

get house insurance quote

get house insurance quote

I want to buy a used car soon. I was wondering if having an alarm system on the car would make insurance cheap?

Like when you own a house or buying...you have home owners insurance. It sometimes makes insurance cheaper is you have an alarm system. So would the same thing be possible for a car?

Is insurance required to buy a car?

I live in the state of Washington. I just turned 18 and obtained my driver's license. However, I have been driving for two years now without insurance and license :/ fortunately without any encounters with the law. Anyway, I want to buy my own car now, my first car, so I'm looking for something local on craigslist. My question is, is it required for one to have insurance in the state of Washington in order to buy a car? I've obviously never done this before so if you could explain how this works I would appreciate it. 1.) What exactly do I need to pay for besides the car? (license plates, registration?) and 2.) Do I need to have insurance? (or can I just pay the person for the car, get the paperwork, and it's done, because I can't afford insurance at the moment. Again I've never done this before). Thank you""

Who decided that health insurance would be offered by employers?

My car insurance, life insurance, and house insurance is not offered through my employer. Why is my health insurance?""

Insurance on a Firebird?

looking for cars with the lowest insurance rates but idk anything about that... i know sports cars are more expensive. age, location, record and all that too.. but are firebirds generally expensive to insure?? and bc its older will it be less expensive?""

Do i have to be on my dads insurance to take the road test?please answer im desperate:(?

Hi, i live in Florida,im 18 no matter what im trying to do my dad finds a way to not make it happen,and im starting college Monday and i have to drive myself and i made an apponitment for this Friday to take the written exam and the road test,my dad went to go put me on the insurance today, and he told me that they told him i cant be on his insurance because quote from my dad that he was told by the insurance ladie im a girl,im under 21, and i live with them. or they have to pay $3,000 he said its florida direct or florida no-fault for his insurance. does this sound like hes lying to me or is this all true? Thank you.""

Do you need auto insurance in florida?

Do you need auto insurance in florida?

Will my medical insurance pay?

Will my medical insurance pay for my transportation to work. I just had my drivers license suspended for MEDICAL REASONS. PLEASE HELP!

Is the cost of car insurance increased when you drive a coupe as opposed to a sedan?

I want to buy an acura integra and i want to know if the 2 door would be more expensive to insure than the 4 door because of the 2 door's sportier appearance. I'm almost 19.

Any car insurance which insurances foreign cars?

Hi! I live in Italy and I am italian. I heard that there are some english insurance which insurance cars and people in foreign country. Is it real? do you know anything about that? Could you give me some advice about that? I am waiting your answers! Bye!

How long will car insurance...?

I'm a learner driver and have my driving test today.If i pass my test, how long will it take for my learner driver insurance to finish after i cancel it for me to start another insurance policy?""

How much would I pay for the Insurance Renewal?

I recently had a car accident with my brand new 4WD vehicle. The front part were badly damaged and is now in the manufacturer's garage. Good thing I didn't get any physical injury as the vehicle's air bag went off just on time and my comprehensive insurance will cover for the agency repairs. My question is, assuming that I'll never encounter another major accident for the next 11 months, how much(more or less) would I pay for the vehicle's insurance renewal next year after it has been assessed by a qualified individual. As early as now, I want to have an idea how the insurance company will compute for my insurance renewal and what are other factors do they consider say I paid them around $1,300 for this year's fee. I hope someone could give me an idea re insurance renewal and other pertinent info re this matter.""

How much does your credit rating affect your car insurance premium?

The CSR from my company just told me that continuous coverage is much more of a discount than a good credit rating gives you. So, overall, about what percent do folks in the know think that the credit rating matters?""

Car insurance in the uk?

in the uk do you have to pay for car insurance if your car is on the driveway or off road

Health insurance deductible?

Okay, so I don't fully understand how insurance works and I can't seem to get an answer to my question. My health insurance deductible, do I get it back? As in after exhausting it through appointments/hospital visits/ect. Do my monthly payments go back towards that? Is it gone for good? I haven't even been able to get someone from the company on the phone to answer me!! Please help. Thank you!""

What is the most affordable health insurance in NYC?

My friend doesn't have health insurance and is planning on putting his new baby (born around Oct.) on his policy with him. He's Latin American and has his permanent residence card, but is not yet a citizen. Anyone know of any affordable plans for him to look into in the Manhattan area?""

How many hours do you have to work in California to be eligible for health insurance?

I work 35 hours a week, and have no health insurance. Am I eligible? Should I question this?""

Whats health insurance?? :O?

i need an MRI but we dont have health insurance so its going to be a while before we can get all the money. whats health insurance do? how much is it?

How much is the average insurance on a mustang v6 for a 16 year old?

How much is the average insurance on a mustang v6 for a 16 year old?

What is the average homeowners insurance cost of a 1000 sq ft condo?

What is the average homeowners insurance cost of a 1000 sq ft condo?

Help finding an orthodontist that accepts my insurance?

Hi everybody well ive been wanting to get braces but i cant afford them and i cant seem to find one anyways i live in California my insurance plan is Healthy Kids its a program part of Healthy Plans of San Mateo County i live in South San Francisco and i really desperately need help finding an orthodontist in or around this area i want my braces really bad like asap so yeah please if anyone can help me out it will be gladly appreciated! thanks

Car insurance question?

Ok so im trying to get car insurance on my grand prix. im doing it over the internet and the final rate says a 3166 dollar premium over six months. is that actually what i pay over the six months or is that what i would have to if something happened. what would be my actual cost over hte six months cause that just seems crazy

""California insurance agent icensing question: there are four categories: Life, Fire & Casuality, ....?""

Personal Lines, and Bail. What does a Personal Lines Broker-Agent do/sell? I think the Life agent can sell health insurance and life? Fire sounds like fire insurance (duh) but that Personal Lines throws me. Any help?""

Is it true about how you can avoid paying car insurance?

I was once told by one of my professors that the law allows you to not pay car insurance as long as you have a certain amount of money on reserve for paying the cost of the accident (if the judge found you to be the cause.) Is this true or the law have changed? If it's true, it would sound logical to test the stats to see the probability of you getting into an accident and the time you can avoid paying insurance. Any thoughts?""

What are the requirements for car in surance in the usa states?

I would like to know what kind of car insurance do you need to have in every state.

My car insurance is 6000 and im 17 can anybody help pleeeeeeeeese.?

Hi on average my car insurance is 6000. I got these from price comparison wesbites. I am trying to insure a 2002 1.2 litre Vauxhall Corsa, on Third Party Fire and Theft. I am going to do about 10000 miles a year. I live in Lozells Birmingham United Kingdom. Can anybody get my Insurance done for cheaper. I have shopped around so much, i even put my mum on as main driver but it only gets 500 off my insurance. Can anybody help me maybe anyone that work in car insurance.""

get house insurance quote

get house insurance quote

What's the absolute cheapest car insurance company in Illinois?

What's the absolute cheapest car insurance company in Illinois?

21st Auto Insurance Company?

Any complaints regarding the 21st Auto Insurance Company? I am thinking about switching to them.

What car would be cheaper for insurance?

I am about to be 16 and I live in nebraska in a small town I was thinking of getting a 2005 camaro or a 2000 or 2003 corvette what car would be cheaper for car insurance and if I get a truck would you recomand a ford f250 or ford f350 and how much would insurance be monthly for the ford trucks and if you have any sports cars you would recomand to get then tell me it and insurance on it monthly

What are my options for affordable health insurance in Massachusetts?

I graduated with my Masters in Library Sciences in May, and am only covered under my mom's health ins. until February. I am trying to avoid a lapse in coverage. Please help!""

What is the renewal process for car insurance?

Do they call in around expiration of the policy. Or is it a form you fill out. What questions do they ask? In particular, say you failed your G test before the expiry of the insurance policy and you redo everything and get a G or G2, will your insurance rate remain the same?""

Insurance Question/Quote?

My name is Jake and my grandpa wants to sell me is 2004 V6 nissan 350z for like next to nothing but i am curious as to how much my insurance payment would be?

Insurance companies for a 18 year old new driver?

Ive just recently passed and im in need of a insurance company good for me. Money is tight as im a student and so i need something cheap. Ive been on money supermarket and its hasn't helped much.

Are the Smart Fortwo car's insurance cheaper?

it got good crash ratings and a cheap car.

Who has cheapest auto insurance rates in ontario?

Who has cheapest auto insurance rates in ontario?

UK- Can you help me find cheaper car insurance?

I currently own classic mini and after 6 months of driving it i want something more reliable. I didn't earn any no claims bonus on the mini as it was on a classic car policy, which I paid 900 a year third party, fire and theft. I want to get a 1.3 toyota yaris but cheapest insurance I have found is 5500! I will be the main driver of it and no i will not front it (go as named when im actually main driver). Which companies are best for young people. I don't want to pay more than around 2000 a year on the insurance. I know there are many factors that affect insurance but I'm looking for companies with good deals/lowest premiums and/or general tips to reducing the premiums. I live in the UK by the way.""

What kind of car for cheapest insurance?

I'm 23

Affordable health insurance for self employed in Missouri?

Affordable health insurance for self employed in Missouri?

How much is anual car insurance aprox.?

car type walksvagen polo for young drivers around 25 who has not passed the test yet

Car insurance question?

My dad has got me a new car through finance, but the car is in his name as my credit is not strong enough for finance. Is there any insurance I can get that still gives me my points per year? Thanks""

How much does liability car insurance cost for a 17 year old girl?

I know that the full insurance may be roughly 140-160 a month for me, but I was told by a friend that his insurance is only 80 bucks a months because he only got the liability insurance in which his insurance only covers the other car, but not any damage done to his own in the case of an accident. Keep in mind, he's male, and he is also 21. I'm looking to buy either a: 2000 sunfire 2000 cavalier 1995 jimmy 1998 chevy tracker 1993 bmw 325l ....and the idea is that I would get it with the liable insurance to save some money. How much may this cost me a month? I have no history of any driving infractions or accidents.""

Cost of car insurance?

I am a 17 year old female. No crashes, good driver. I just got enough money to buy a car, and need to pay for the insurance. I Dont know how much money that would cost. I hear its diffrent everywhere, but what is the adverage for minnesota would you say? I'd appreciate it! thanks :)""

When renting a car is there a cheaper why to buy insurance then buying their insurance?

When renting a car is there a cheaper why to buy insurance then buying their insurance?

Cheap Car Insurance For Young Adult?

I am 19. I just bought a car that needs to be plated. Its a 2002 Daewoo. (model name Lanos). I need to know the cheapest insurance I can put on the car. Ive never had any tickets or violations or trouble with the law. Ive never even been pulled over. I live in Indiana. Any suggestions please let me know. Also, I just moved to Lake Station from Elkhart. I guess you have to go through emissions to get plates but since its an 02 I dont believe I need to do it this year. However, I may plan on going back to Elkhart & thats where my lincence is from. Could I tell the BMV that and they plate it as Elkhart? & I wont even have to go through emissions?""

Its cheaper to lease a new 2011 Jaguar then buy Auto Insurance?

Hey, I'm 16 (going onn 17) and I want a 1999 Mustang convertible (base, no GT or Cobra) I am a Male and my insurance is $500.00 a month... HOLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How do I lower it? PS: How is it possible Insurance companies judge on gender? I thought that was illegal now, I thought all our rights were equal?""

How much do you think insurance for a 16 year old?

i live in texas but i want to buy a car year 2004 and up which car would be less expensive as in insurance

Do i need health insurance for an abortion?

just wondering, would a woman need health insurance for an abortion? if she has cash can she pay that way without insurance. (in the state of pennsylvania)""

Is Believing in God Similar to Having Car Insurance ?

Believing in God is like having Car Insurance Lls HOPE is Beautiful If you get in an accident you are covered (safe) If not you just short and out of luck ...You can not rule out that God does or doesnt exist....I have Faith that he does so when I die hopefully I meet him...For the rest that dont have Faith they're just cool with the idea that death is just the End and that's their opinion They're not dumb to me at all

Insurance on SUVs?

How much is insurance on SUVs usually... like a Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo or a Chevrolet.. anyone know?

How much will my car insurance go up if i got an ovi dropped to reckless op?

i was pulled over and ended up being charged w an ovi, but my lawyer got it reduced to a reckless op. how much will my insurance go up and how many points on my licensee will that be?""

Can an insurance company buy off and tow my car?

some construction company hit my car. the estimate repair is 2400.00 my car in kellybluebook is 1600.00, they said they could either write me a check of 1000.00 or their insurance if going to tow my car and give me what they think is worth. can an insure really do that? can't they just repair my car and give me a rental until i get it repaired? what should i do the accident happened 6/26/13""

get house insurance quote

get house insurance quote

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/should-government-make-sure-every-american-has-health-jose-chavez/"

[danieljleblanc-blog]

Creating Content with an Eye to Search Engine Optimization

By Daniel LeBlanc, MCS and Webmaster

Writing about best practices for search engine optimization should be approached from multiple angles. I've already talked a lot about ways to do keyword research before you begin to develop content for your website. This time I thought I would discuss some ways to approach creating content for the specific words from your keyword list, once you have a basic list composed.

Here is a short summary of the steps I am going to outline in this process;

Summary: Steps to creating content for search engine optimization

1) Use your main keyword list to identify relevant keywords for this new content

2) Identify new relevant, product-specific keyword(s) and keyword phrases for the new content you will create

3) Use the MOZ Keyword Explorer or similar tool to find the most effective keywords for search engine optimization

4) Use the best keyword and keyword phrases in the page title, page URL, <h> tags and for anchor text

5) Produce quality content that answers the questions people want answered

6) Refresh previously published content as often as needed

7) Make sure all of the page meta data is complete before publishing and that it contains keywords

I'm going to use my previous example of the surfboard company because I am not a surfer and it is a subject I know little about. Like many people building a website for a new business I have done the initial keyword research to come up with my initial keyword list.

For the purposes of this demonstration let's imagine I have developed an initial keyword list that looks something like this example. This is not my extended keyword list which would be much longer. I am going to describe a step-by-step approach, (by the way, I used this exact approach in the writing of this very article);

Step 1: Before creating any new content for your website start with the freshest version of your main keyword list

Main Keyword List      Date Prepared: 7/11/2017

keyword            Volume min            Volume max

surf

board

surfboard

deck

fin

fish

foil

funboard

leash

knee

kneeboard

nose

For the purposes of this demonstration this is a very short list. An actual keyword list would have hundreds, if not thousands of main keywords. Notice that the date this list was prepared is clearly indicated. This is important because keywords for every business type are continually evolving. For every website a fresh keyword list should be created on at least a quarterly schedule, if not more often. Especially if your product line grows or changes frequently you may need to do keyword research on a monthly or even weekly basis.

Notice also that there are no 'Volume min' or 'Volume max' values in our table yet. We will fill those in after we run these keywords in our tools (MOZ Keyword Explorer), as we generate reports on the specific value of these keywords for our subject topic.

"Keyword research should always be performed as a prelude to creating new content"

In addition to your main keyword list, keyword research should always be performed as a prelude to creating new content for you website.

Step 2: Identify the most popular keywords and keyword phrases that are relevant to the content you want to produce

Business website content should answer a question. The number one question a consumer might ask when coming to our surfboard website is, 'What kinds of surfboards do you sell?'. Other commonly asked questions like this should be answered first. They would include the following'

What is the highest quality surfboard that you sell?

What is the range of prices for the surfboards you sell?

How much does the highest quality surfboard cost?

What is the most affordable surfboard that you sell?

What is the best value surfboard that you sell?

These initial basic questions will be similar no matter what your product or service happens to be. If you are selling an idea instead of a product or service then this list would be different, logically. But for any product or service that is sold on a website you should begin by answering all of these basic questions first.

In this example we will imagine that the first question about the kinds of surfboards you sell has already been answered on your website. Now it's time to begin to answer the more long-tail keyword questions that consumers will have such as, 'What is the highest quality surfboard that you sell?'.

A.)   Identify the product that best answers the question

For the purposes of our case in point I did some quick research and discovered that a board known as 'The Mayhem F1 Stub' is very highly regarded by surfers in the know. We'll create some content to promote this surfboard as the highest quality surfboard that we sell.

B.)   Discover the most advantageous keywords for search engine optimization

There are many tools for searching on individual keywords to discover their present value for SEO. Here is a short list;

i.)                 Google adwords with Keyword Planner

ii.)                WordStream's Free Keyword Suggestion Tool

iii.)              Keyword Tool

iv.)              SERPs

v.)               Yoast Google Suggest Expander

vi.)              Uber Suggests

As a developer or writer you are going to have to work with each of these and decide which works best for you. Some are mostly free while others charge a nominal fee.

For the case in point I am going to use option 5 and 6; Yoast Google Suggest Expander (YGSE) and Uber Suggests (US). They are free and will provide enough data to move on to the next step.

Using the YGSE I begin by performing a search on the keyword phrase 'surfboard';

This initial list is quite lengthy. You will discover that many of the options presented are of little value for the purposes of the content you are creating. It is critical to avoid any appearance of black hat SEO strategies by avoiding keywords that do not directly apply to the content you are creating. For instance 'surfboard amazon' may have a high search value or SEO Keyword opportunity factor but if you do not sell your surfboard through the Amazon.com website then attempting to use this keyword phrase in your own content will be counter-productive to search engine optimization for your site.

"Use only relevant keywords for SEO best practices"

In the early days of the Internet and search-engine evolution black hat SEO was born. Quick thinking web developers realized they could drive more traffic to their websites by incorporating terms that really did not relate to the products, services or ideas they sold. This created a bad user experience with the search engines. Whenever someone is looking for something on the Internet their hope is to find it quickly and efficiently. By attempting to fool search engines, black hat search engine optimization techniques frustrate end users.

Search engines have learned to fight back. Google and others developed complex algorithms that use spiders to crawl through websites in an attempt to discover the key search terms that best describe each website. The implementation of artificial intelligence (AI) means that search engines are getting much smarter. They can spot black hat SEO attempts and in severe cases may block a website from coming up entirely.

In a best case scenario, any indication of black hat SEO strategies will lower your trust score and overall domain authority, causing you to come up lower in the search engine results pages (SERPs). In a worst case scenario the organic traffic to your website will come to a standstill as the search engines black list your website entirely. What good is a website if nobody can find it?

Coming back to the YGSE results for 'surfboard' we can scroll down to the 'surfboard m' results to see whether there is any value in 'surfboard Mayhem F1 Stub' and there is nothing showing. Likewise, 'surfboard f' doesn't offer anything useful or 'surfboard s'. But there are takeaways in knowing that it is not a widely known or searched brand. Perhaps they only sell direct to the public, or are only known to those looking for custom surfboards. We will use our tools to try the full search phrase shortly.

What can we learn from this initial YGSE search? It appears that there is value in surfboard accessories, brands, bag, companies, cost, designs, dimensions, exercise, for sale, games, images, icon, illustration, ideas, internet, keel fins, leash, length, leash plug, near me, nose, online, outlet, pictures, pics, prices, quad fin placement, travel bag, user guide, vs paddleboard, wax, wall rack, workout, yoga, youtube, and zipline. All of these keywords and keyword phrases have potential to drive searchers to the new content you are creating about the Mayhem F1 Stub surfboard. Keep this list handy when writing your new content.

Proceed by performing searches on each of the keywords to determine which are the most valuable to include in our new content.

Step 3: Use the MOZ Keyword Explorer or similar tool to find the most effective keywords for search engine optimization

While the earlier tools can help to identify possible keywords and keyword phrases for the topic you are going to write about, It is important to understand which of these is most effective in the SERPs.

While there are other tools similar to the MOZ Keyword Explorer (MKE) I feel it is one of the most important tools I use because in addition to suggesting thousands of other keywords it also provides statistics for each and every suggestion. For our example case let's use the MKE to search for 'high quality surfboard'. Here is what the results look like as of the writing of this article;

When you click on the link to 'See all 1,000 Suggestions' you can download a csv file that looks like this;

Make note that our original search term 'high quality surfboard' doesn't appear to be very popular. While 'surftech' seems to very popular, this appears to be a brand name. It would be considered a black hat approach to try to include this on a page that doesn't feature a specific discussion of that particular brand. We would discount those as irrelevant keywords for our case in point.

If our surfboard was of the type 'soft top' then we could consider including that term but I suspect that doesn't apply in our chosen model, The Mayhem F1 Stub. We should make note of this though in the event we do happen to also sell soft top model surfboards. We'll also add 'foam surfboards for kids', and 'beginner surfboards for sale' to our main keyword lists for further research, in the event we do happen to sell other boards that fit those descriptions. Let's examine the rest of the list for more relevant keywords to describe our chosen model;

There are quite a few takeaways from this list. 'Best all around surfboard', 'best surfboards for intermediate surfers', 'best surfboard brands', 'best surfboards 2016', 'the best surfboard','the best surfboards', 'best surfboard','best surfboards', 'high performance longboard surfboard' and 'kids surfboard' all seem to have potential relevant keyword value. We should run each of these again through the MKE to try to focus in on the best possible keywords and keyword phrases before composing our new content to promote the Mayhem F1 Stub.

Step 4: Use the best keyword and keyword phrases in the page title, page URL, <h> tags and for anchor text

I have previously written articles about the importance of anchor text and standards with URL's, page titles and <h> tags but this is the final important step in creating new content on any topic.

Here's a list of best practices for deploying your identified keywords with your new content;

1.      The page URL should contain the highest ranked keyword or keyword phrase.

2.      Page URLs should be under 100 characters, small case letters with no symbols or punctuation and contain dashes (-) between keywords.

3.      Every page should have at least one <h1> tag which is typically the page title. Ensure that your best keywords appear in the <h1> tag.

4.      Pages should be keyword rich but avoid keyword stuffing.

5.      A page structure should be outlined with <h> tags (<h1> through <h6>) to identify the subject and sections of the page. This allows the search engine crawlers to index the subjects of your page like a book.

6.      Anchor text should contain keyword(s) or keyword phrases.

7.      Image names should contain keyword(s) and dashes/hyphens.

Step 5: Produce quality content that answers the questions people want answered

There is no use publishing a ton of content just to get the keywords up on your website. Every piece of published content should answer a question or solve a problem a consumer of your products, services or ideas might have.

In the early days of search engines you could publish short little pages that contained keywords without any regards as to whether or not it was information people wanted to have. Those days are gone now. The search engine algorithms that crawl your site are looking to establish whether or not your pages answer the questions customers are asking at the time they crawl your website.

In general longer content is better than shorter content but only if it is valuable information that people want to find. Strive to include at least 2000 words on any given page but again, only if it is good content that readers will find helpful. If it is irrelevant or does not answer the questions people are asking then your page ranking will be low, attract few readers, and do little to promote your overall website ranking.

Step 6: Refresh previously published content as often as needed

It is critical to make sure that the content on your website remains fresh. By monitoring your website with tools like Google Analytics, Hotjar, GoingUp, StatCounter, ShinyStat or any of the other hundreds of options, you can see when traffic to your web pages begins to slow down over time. Initially when a page is launched, if it is good content then traffic should steadily rise. If it is a really good page then it may take years for the traffic to begin to slow down, but eventually it will. When traffic to your page begins to slow down it is time to consider a refresh which begins with performing the keyword research all over again.

Most web pages will need refreshing at least every 3 months but if the traffic continues to climb then there is no reason to update it, unless the content is outdated, or no longer relevant to the product you sell. In general the search engines love new content but they love refreshed content on existing URLs even more. Don't forget to take time to keep your older pages fresh.

Step 7: Make sure all of the page meta data is complete before publishing and that it contains keywords

Every web page should have a meta title tag between 40-60 characters and ideally the title tag contains relevant keywords.

Every web page should have a meta description length between 120-160 characters and contains relevant keywords.

   Further articles about search engine optimization;

How to Do Keyword Research and Develop Great Keyword Strategies

Internal Links - The Do's and Don'ts

How Can I Drive More Traffic to my Website?