#which is just so lovely and reassuring
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Having to face the fact that I might actually have to go to the doctors at some point and can't keep putting it off forever
#so uhhhh idk if this is tmi for the tumblr void but uhh#yaknow what ill just not say what i think i have#but its not an actual disease or anything life threatening its just unpleasant#and concerns a certain intimate part of me and involves muscle spasms and pain#and ive done some googling and basically nobody knows what actually causes it and how to treat it#or even what proportion of people it even affects#which is just so lovely and reassuring#but yeah anyway at some point i probably need to see a doctor about it and i just. cannot phone the doctor.#i have tried it before and the moment they put me in the queue i just nope out.#so idk what im gonna do about it haha#personal
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redesigning my headcanon for Sebek's parents, based on important new information (SCALES)
(you can't see it but they're both wearing crocs)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#they are truly the most inspiring love story of our generation#though i guess he's not dr. zigvolt since zigvolt is the clan name...#unless he took her name which i absolutely could see. why would you ever not want to be called zigvolt.#this does tie nicely in with my headcanon that sebek's siblings got more of the fae features than he did#and he has a Complex about it#i get the impression that sebek's siblings are much closer in age to each other and also have more of their dad's chill#so sebek is sort of the baby of the family and he's got a Complex about that too#i think a lot about the zigvolt family for characters who have never actually appeared#on the subject of actual canon though#i do actually really appreciate that both sebek and silver each had a little moment of reassuring each other#that this is 400 years ago and also incredibly unfortunate circumstances#and present-day reality lilia and baul love them very much#(i do think sebek is secretly baul's favorite grandkid)#it was just nice to see! especially from sebek! he is sometimes a very thoughtful boy and it's always nice to see that side of him#sebek trying SO hard to get baul to like him though 😭#and lilia being like 'aw i think you're getting kind of fond of him :)'#i love. Characters.
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i will never get over your fords with the :o( expression (the o is his nose and it's not a frown, just his resting/confused face )
hes eternally lost.....poor soul
#I do really love this expression of his which is why I draw it so much#I reassure myself by saying that the show drew him like that a million times#so it's not just me#ask
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siffrin post-canon h/c is like "dw you're not actually mean, we love you!" and loop post-canon h/c is like "yes you are mean, and we still love you!"
#so imo it's like#loop's baseline is just being kinda annoying#and when they feel worse they get pointedly mean#and when they feel even worse they get quiet which they hate but unfortunately being around real people in real timelines is v overwhelming#and then at ROCK BOTTOM they are like incoherently screaming and physically lashing out#vs siffrin's baseline is being a little quiet and a little helpful and a little funny#and when they feel worse they withdraw more#and he feels even worse he maybe breaks down crying or maybe dissociates completely and maybe?? communicates??#and then at rock bottom they lash out / get mean#basically loop was at rock bottom for so long that it became their default coping mechanism#all the in between shit is too vulnerable or too siffrin-y or too cringe#and it's been kinda liberating not worrying so much#so anyway#that's why siffrin needs to be reassured that their mean moments don't define them#and loop needs to be reassured that it's ok to choose to be angry#like it's not Good to be mean but. they don't have to be good to be loved#isat#loop#siffrin#isat spoilers#thoughts#thoughts about loop#thoughts about siffrin
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you are pretty, dearest!
#SPEEDRUNNING TO POST BEFORE MY ABM QUIZ STARTS PLEASE POST POSTPOSDPTOPTT GKRKGKRKG#edit: editing this post to make it more presentable since i got time :3#rendered this while at school hehe#~ art#♥️ constabell#okay okay and i gotta drop my thoughts here as usual#i totally imagine norton was expressing some sort of insecurity about his face and how it doesnt make him look any better. to which#irene rejects the idea and holds him closer. you are pretty! i think you are very handsome. words hit deep. but this one struck a chord dee#so deep that it reassures him that he still have some worth and he is still deserving of being loved. so much so that a beautiful lady-#is very much in love with him :3#andd yes ^^ his burn scars do extend to his arm - i saw it in his model + sources online if you were able to remove his sleeve#im sure i posted about it here in this blog but its quite far now#i hc his scars to mostly appear on his left side - explains why his left temple is only affected#i imagine there is some coverage on his body as well - i actually wondered if im able to draw that out#unfortunately im jsut not good at masc anatomy so that needs some work. orr i just go chibi mode AHAHAH but what if i dont want to :pleadin
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*screams into the void*
#the way he like seems to be choking back a sob of emotions before he says this#he can't bear the fact that he's causing her pain#and that there's nothing he can do to stop it#even though talking openly would help her but he can't do that#because if he does he would have to be vulnerable and if he's vulnerable aelswith might think him weak#which is something he knows she abhors (even though she hates it because of her own feelings of being seen as weak and unworthy)#and he can't bear her rejection because he loves her and if she were to reject him it would destroy him#he can be this open with uhtred because its a manipulation tactic#he's using vulnerability to get uhtred to do what he wants and thats why he can be so open in this scene. he's doing it strategically#but to be open with aelswith leaves him (in his mind) open to losing her since he's caused her so much pain throughout their marriage#and he would have to face the fact that he's done that and she might not forgive him and he can't do that#aelswith is so upset in this scene because she thinks its his final way of saying to her “you aren't worthy” when really its a tactic#to help ensure that she and their children will be safe#but they literally cannot properly communicate with each other because of all of the painful history between them#I'm going insane#I love them so much#they are everything to me#literally everything#he loves her so much#like he could not survive losing her - just the way he clings to her all throughout s3 speaks to that#I really think that because of the similarities between uhtred and aelswith uhtred's betrayal makes him start to fear that he could lose he#and he just starts to cling to her for reassurance that she'll never leave and she won't stop believing in him#ok I'm done#for now#I'm crying#your honor I love them#they mean so much to me
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I'm sorry if this sounds rude in any way but all the persona 1/2 art you have drawn recently I want to let you know it's giving me alot of comfort! :-''') ur art feels lively n healing and I'm especially joyous that you are into oldsona <3
anon what..!!!! this is not rude at all ouuuhhaghhHH 😭😭❤️❤️!!??!???!!! this genuinely, super duper made my day and im so glad my oldsona art is comforting for u it means so SO much ;;
#i havent been drawing because i just came back home so im busy settling and getting over my jetlag GUH!#ive also been planning on going thru p2ep all over again because its been 6 years and i feel like I've forgotten so many tiny details x.x#which is why ive been feeling a lil shy and nervous getting my thoughts out there 😭😖#so thank u for this rlly sweet message anon its very reassuring :'] !! i rlly love oldsona and hope to share that love!!!#anon#ask
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it’s crazy how much having a safe place to be yourself and express your identity and personality and interests, both online and irl, can change your will to live. honestly.
#i came out to my fav professor/mentor today#it was kind of impulsive but idk#she’s just made me feel so safe and supported and cared ab#that honestly all i wanted to do was tell her#and hear what my new chosen name sounds like when she says it. idk.#anyway she was So incredibly receptive and understanding and supportive#like she said things i needed to hear that i didn’t even know i needed to hear#at one point she essentially reassured me that she doesn’t and won’t ever love me any less as a boy#and she immediately wanted to call me by my chosen name and use my preferred pronouns#and she kept telling me too that there’s no pressure or need to stress and that if i ever wanna adjust the name or pronouns i can#and that gender isn’t a fixed thing ofc#she told me that she’s proud of me too#god i’m so luckyyyy dude#i feel so loved and cared about#also i said in an email recently that i was looking for a part time job (like totally as a separate thing i mentioned bc of scheduling stuff#and totally unprompted today#she started talking to me about getting a paid position for me set up with some grant money ig??#which we were already tentatively planning on doing next semester#but bc she saw me say that she’s trying to get it set up now 🥺🥺#AGH i kinda love my life rn#but i’m so terrified to and im even more afraid to admit that#anyway so sorry this is an excessive amount of tags#silas speaks#vent#trans#transmasc#trans masc#transgender#queer#lgbtq+
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Okay so, if LBD was "I will completely demolish this system to build a new one", and Azure was "I will use the system for my benefit to improve the system", what do we think our new antagonist will be
#Like. We know it's gonna have to involve subverting pain in some way#And abusing power in whatever way to do it (which they've already done with the scroll)#But it's also gonna have to build the ''perfect world'' in their head#And I'm like. Writers what are u doin'. Just let me into the writers room just let me see#*grabs Breen* Mr. Breen so you know the smile MK does right. When he's reassured by his friends. (1x00 1x10 3x03)#His eyebrows go up and his expression turns from one of surprise to one of love. Yeah that smile.#Yeah. So. Was his grimace at the end of 4x12 the opposite of that#Rather than be reassured by Wukong he was disheartened. Horrified even. Breen#Mr. Breen please tell me#Please#I need to know#like that question is off topic from the post but I just. I've been thinking about it okay#imma reblog my post#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk rant#imp tag
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I adore reading your rambling tags, don't stop posting things there 😩
Don't you worry. I think I might be incapable of stopping idk what happened I never used to tag ramble
#asks#anon#i do really love talking. clearly LOL#but ive also been working on listening the past few years#and thays pretty cool too#i had to learn how to think before i speak. like legitimately im not hearing the words I say#im thinking about my next sentence while i say the current one#its exhausting and i never remember what I've said HWJJJSDJEJ#but people tell me im direct and deliberate and clear so idk...#but listening is also really hard...#conversation in general is really hard#i stll love it of course#its just very tiring for me#which is PART of why I like to do this when i cant sleep cause of nightmares or whatever#tires me out haha and also is a great distraction#and is good practice! for me#so idk i just like it. and its nice to know its not annoying#i wouldn't post hardly any words at all without the safety of the tags#they're not rebloggable so thats a relief#you have to opt in to read them#the space is limited. etc etc#so. im glad it is wn option and im glad its a welcome one!#no intention to stop#thank you for the reassurance on it#delete later#maybe. I'm so tired i need to check later to see if i wnt to delete it#anxiety meds working yay i can sleep bye
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you know the day is going to be a doozy when you wake up with anxiety already eating you alive 🫠
#sorry not to once again vent about The Horrors#i’ve just been having an absolute weird one today lolol#and idek why this is where my brain has chosen to latch this time#somewhere between feeling too clingy for wanting to casually tell friends i love them or miss them or want to spend time with them#and being sensitive about slight changes with ones who withdraw from doing the same as often too#or changes in some routines i guess#like what if i’m just unaware that i’m the annoying person clinging to a friendship that’s fading#i don’t want to be too needy for reassurance or too pushy with being so sappy :o)#which is irrational of my brain but i can’t help feeling the way i do either#because i did lose touch with a former close friend recently and just. not realize that closeness wasn’t there anymore. lmao#but also ‘hi do you still love me. do you miss me if i’m not available. you haven’t said so in a while’ feels insane to ask shdghsd#ANYWAY that’s enough vulnerability for today. bye.#the life and times
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Inquisitor Casper Lavellan, officially having a bad time
#dragon age inquisiton#dai#dai inquisitor#inquisitor lavellan#I have so many feelings and thoughts about this game#especially the dlc#and not gonna lie I am not a sappy person but the romance between casper my inquisitor and dorian has me feeling things#i picked dorian on a whim because he seemed fun but oh did it work out oddly well for the type of inquisitor cas ended up being#also the man repeatedly broke my heart in trespasser some of his lines goddamn#to be fair I didn't feature the most heartbreaking one here but dorian was the one who kept reassuring cas the most when the anchor got bad#and I am curious if that is because he's the love interest or just lucky game rng#but anyway for some reason that line also just hung in my head#cause that line came up before they knew about solas and any hope to deal with the anchor#which has implications#but alas I ramble too much in these tags lmao
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Happy birthday, Yechan! 🥳
#LUCY#band Lucy#Yechan#shin yechan#kitkatart#WIP#I love him I love him I love him I—#i got overly ambitious and now I’m trying to finish up soo many projects before I see the Lucys#which !!!!#but also this drawing is killing me#I’m never drawing instruments again lol#if anyone could send me some encouragement#or even just some reassurance that this isn’t completely terrible#I would appreciate it so much#Lucy truly has my creative energy running in all diffent directions#which is so great! because I haven’t had like any creative energy for the past two years!#but also…#I definitely maybe bit off more than I can chew given the time constraints haha ha 😅#the typos in these tags are v much indicative of my current state 😂#I think Yechan turned out ok but I’m drawing Gwangil now and it’s going terribly 😔
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going insane over the fact that happiness and care and concern and love is underneath every interaction between newt and hermann in pacific rim
#HEAR ME OUT. they’re introduced and newt and being a groupie and behind him hermann is all huffing and rolling his eyes and shaking his#head but he’s Not Angry. no. he jumps to defend newt albeit in a somewhat mocking and sarcastic way BUT THE THOUGHT IS THERE. and then when#hermann is rambling on about numbers being the handwriting of god newt is in the background smiling and laughing and making silly#hand motions and yes the hand motion was a bit mocking BUT THATS THEIR WHOLW THINF. anyways i’m not done. when newt drifts with the kaiju#and pentecost is there talking to him and hermann and newt r yelling back in forth u can hear the unease and shakiness in their voices and#especially the frustration in hermanns. he’s frustrated abt newt risking his life and is worried abt that which translates out in anger.#and yeah maybe he’s salty abt being proven wrong too lmao. BUT CONTINUING ON. stacker could have just told newt to go to hannibal chau and#he would have done it. but instead they watch the film of him on HERMANNS computer as HERMANN controls the computer to look at the film. if#thé film was shown it was for a reason. newt doesn’t seem like the type to need reassurance abt chau before he goes. he was willing to die#for his trash drift. and stacker gave him the card and info so there’s no need to do anything else. the video is most likely there for the#viewers but it needs a reason to be there in the show. hence my reasoning that HERMANN asked to see it out of concern for newt who would be#doinf this alone. hermann demanded to see some proof to reassure himself. stacker having the card on him makes sense. him having that bulky#tape doesn’t. meaning hermann pressured him into leaving getting the tape and coming back to show him. anyways one more bit. so the drift.#hermann is clearly scared out of his mind and thinking abt the impending triple event. yet he still drifts with newt he does it to protect#him to take part of the neural load. and it takes a toll on hermann it makes a big enough mess of his brain that he ends with him bleeding#and shaking and sweating and coughing and throwing up. and he knew it would take a toll. he knew it would be a lot he’s seen the jaegers.#he’s seen what happens. he knows it will be rough. he knows it’ll be much worse for him who wasn’t drifted then for newt who has. yet he#still does it to help newt and to show his care and trust and concern and love and THEYRE DRIFT COMPATIBLE U DONT UNDERSTANDABLE HOW#EMOTIONAL I AM OVER THIS FUCKING OVER THEM#anyways one last thing. the way that they full body slapping each other on the back bear hugged when the throat collapsed (they were behind#herc and tendo so it was a little hard to see. i missed it the first time) in pure adrenaline happiness before we see the quiet tender hug#when they know everything is over for good (for now at least) when it’s time to celebrate when it time to think abt their drift and their#bond and their relationship and their LOVE. i’m so ok abt them rn actually#toad.txt#i wish i wrote this in a keep reading bit and not the tags now. anyways#pacific rim#pacific rim spoilers#newton geiszler#hermann gottlieb#newmann
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God do I wish we weren't scared to exist as a system without judgement. Hi .
#toast notes#from sophie#Might be passive influence idk we need to go to bed ;;#I think more than anything we just want to be believed . And to know every move we make isn't being psychoanalyzed and picked apart#I don't want to have a label put on me or have to act super different from Nemo I just want to EXIST#I don't want to mask I don't want to interrupt conversations#I think I'm starting to become another host which is. Scary. Really really scary.#I don't mean to be super venty or sad I'm not usually like this just!!! Ugghhhhh can I not feel like a person for one second#(none of this is directed at anyone including the other guys in here btw!)#I'd love some reassurance. but I don't know how much good that will do for us#Whateveeeerrr I might delete this later I'm going back to getting ready for bed and thinking about the silly spire#Oh my god I just realized I worded something in here sooo badly if you think something in here sounds weird please ignore it#Brain fog mixed with autism scripts do NOT mix well. We use these wrong so often lol sorry
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Recently finished Wodehouse's A Damsel in Distress (I believe at @isfjmel-phleg's recommendation! from a WHILE ago) and am happy to report that Wodehouse is still so good for one's heart
#there's a certain joie de vivre in his writing that brings a reassuring kind of levity to any situation#which is not to make light of a serious situation but to just turn it around a little and make it a less heartrending or seemingly final#i should read wodehouse more often tbh he reminds me that there's joy in life and in people and that there's priceless value#in laughter and changing your perspective#anyway thank you for the recommendation rebekah!! i'm not sure if you recommended the book or the movie or both#but i shall be on the lookout for the movie too >:)))#reading adventures#songbird's year of feeling 22#wodehouse is probably one of the few writers who can make me laugh out loud in public transit and i love him SO much for it
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